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#TORMENTED REVERIE ANOTHER DAYDREAM
adiabolikpastel · 6 months
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Is it okay if I ask you for more information about the elite school you created for your AU?
I'm curious to know how the students live together, or if there are any special events or academic competitions. Can you imagine a tournament where the best representatives of each demon race face off?
The Wolves and Eagles would demonstrate their brute strength and agility and the Vampires and Víboras would demonstrate their intelligence and skill with magic.
Sorry if this is weird, I just love your ideas and always want to know more of the AU you've created for DL. :')
ahh~ stop Anon, you are too sweet. I am so glad that you find the world interesting! I work hard on it, and with ask like this one, it gives me the chance to add more to it - so thank you so much!
Let's see...
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How the Students live together
There are a couple of different ways a student can board, again think of this much like Ouran Academy (Ouran High School Host Club). As a parent you have the option to allow your child to stay on campus, buy a housing unit for them, or have the commute each day.
Students who live on campus have dorms which are divided by age and class - so say you are a Primary Student in class 1-A, you would only be able to room with any other student in classes 1-A through 1-E. Similar if you were in class 2-A, you could only have a dorm mate that was in another similar class 2-A through 2-E.
Dorms are located closer to the school's main campuses, corresponding with the age group within them. Each dorm building is slightly different when it comes to being co-ed, while no room can have different sexes in the same room, the building itself may or may not. The size of rooms also vary, but each one is still luxurious. Singles are more like studio apartments, and there can be as many as four occupants in the larger rooms.
Students who decide to have their own housing have just that, their own housing it is just located on the schools campus. As we talked about before, similar to Mahora Academy (Negima! Magister Negi Magi), the school's campus is large enough to be considered a city. While staff members and those who work in the local businesses live around, there are designated housing units that are for student use. These are on a rent basis, and are restricted to the college level students.
Then of course anyone is able to return home each day if they so wish, and come back in the morning. Students who live in the dorms are encouraged to go home on the days they have off of school, so that deep cleaning can be done to the dorms each week. Housing students are free to come and go as they wish, and have cleaning services on call if they need.
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Any Special Events or Academic Competitions
So this school does have a ranking system for their students, like a lot of other anime material out there. Think of any Isekai or second life anime where there is a ranking system based off your power, and you are given a crest or special something based on that - that kind of thing exist here.
If you think about Fumizuki Academy (Baka and Test) where your class letter reflects your rank, that happens in this Academy too - however, no one is given terrible classrooms like in Fumizuki. So, if you are powerful you are in the A classes, while the weaker ones are in E. Those ranking can change throughout the year depending on your performance - where there are quarterly exams.
I have also mentioned in a previous ask that the school does not have a strict advancement policy - meaning you could be a 'high school' student and have dropped out of math back in primary school. I searched my blog for the post that explained it - but sadly cannot find it to link, I apologize. If you want me to go into details on this I can.
As far as events go - like sports and cultural days - I'd like to say yes. I don't want it to be so bland that it's like any other anime that has those kinds of things, since this is the Makai not human world Japan. Off the top of my though I would say they would be similar.
If you went to school in America you might know something like 'Around the World Day' where each classroom would talk about a different country and you could go around the school and learn about them - this being in Elementary. I like to think that that younger kids have this kind of event, but instead of by class the school have a specific staff member that is that race's advisor or representative for the students. They help organize the students and create displays or activities for others to learn about one another. After all as the Demon World's elite future, they must know about one another.
There is also the quarterly exams in each grade level, to determine your class rankings. They are done on the power level only - not academic, since that is handled separate. Academics are done bi-yearly, but they are not done on a large public scale. While there is no school mandated or authorized competition of races - it is common among the students to create such stakes.
Venturing into spoiler-ish areas for the Tormented Reverie Another Daydream story - since the Vampires are the current Demon King race (as Shu sits as the demon king), they are seen as the top in terms of power. More is expected of the Bat clan, and those that come from it. That being said however, the big four kingdoms still reign over any other demons - those being Bat, Wolf, Snake (Vibora) & Eagle (Adler).
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ophelian-darling · 2 years
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𝐍𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐢𝐥𝐲
Yandere Jotaro Kujo x female reader.
Summary: As you're being dragged to marry the man who kidnapped you, you play your last card for the hope of taking back your life and freedom.
TW: kidnapping, Isolation, physical and emotional abuse, Blood & Injury, forced marriage & pregnancy, explicit sexual content, Inappropriate use of stands.
Word count: 6.8k.
This is a NSFW piece, Minors DNI.
The aroma of exquisite perfume and deluxe cosmetics fragranced the bright, small room. the colors of lights were so blinding and Cheerful, singing Jovial serenades and mimicking the light of a spring sun .the white noise in the background indicated a common Joy and eternal bless of a special day, a day that brought happy tidings and auspicious sensations for everyone.
Everyone, minus the envied yet unfortunate Bride herself.
The stories of fairytale Romances and sweetly-clichéd love scenarios had always been one of your life dreams. you've daydreamed of your ideal true love thousands of times, imagining a simple yet blithe life: a small home where would warmth and peace reign, dazzling eyes and a loving smile of your beloved who would behold you in awe and adoration, and whom you would look back at with the same.
The pink reveries and pleasant fantasies faded and discolored into a gray reality and repulsive inevitability. the ceremony that was about to take place wasn't a declaration of union and devotion, it's nothing but of a slavery contract: you were about to be wed to the monster who stole your freedom.
You clenched your fist at the thought of him, completely neglecting your stylishly manicured nails or fearing to ruin the pure white, lacy glove on your hands. None of your childhood fantasies had an epicurean yet dull essence, a family that lived on hate from a mother and a possessive lust from a father, a loveless life between two people who would stand at the Altar and accept the epithets of a husband and a wife .
Jotaro Kujo wasn't a human at all. He was a complete, utter nightmare of a human by all means, a heartless creature who didn't think of anything but tormenting you of all people. The irony about his persona was his surroundedness with a lighthearted family :his mother was a bubbly, kind and innocent woman whose smile was a glow. no one can imagine how such a warm, compassionate woman mothered a cold, aloof man; the Paradoxical thought never failed to surprise you even after three months of 'troth'.
Holy softened her speech whenever she spoke to you, maintaining her gentleness even after the topic of her husband was brought up - your guilt nagged you at the sight of her sad smile; you remorsed asking her such a question, even if it was unintentional.
Mr.Joestar was such a gentle soul as well . you really liked him. a sense of nostalgia and familiarity intrigued you when he greeted you and welcomed you into the family. you couldn't help the smile on your lips whenever he spoke with that gentle, tired tone or kept on forgetting and mishearing names.
"He cheated on my grandmother" Jotaro whispered to you, catching you off guard as he continued "his affair had resulted in the birth of Josuke."
Yet another surprise for the night, you thought.
The image of a flamboyant, handsome man was brought to your memory.
The first detail you recalled was a flashy pompadour, then a suave, confident voice played itself automatically, retrospecting all of your previous encounters with Josuke.
back in Morioh-Cho, the young student was one of your acquaintances and a great neighbor. you didn't think that your little town's Sweetheart is a relative to your apathetic husband; putting both men in one picture was like illustrating the distance between heaven and earth: dissimilar and contrastive.
Josuke had chirped happily one evening, the wide grin on his face seemed to stretch even more.
"My Nephew said that I'll be walking you down the aisle, I'm so excited to see him and you get married!" his blue eyes were a pool of twinkles, nothing in the world could erase the innocent merriment he felt, as if he's the groom himself.
The groom.
Jotaro's expression nor tone didn't convey any emotion at all -and you thought that you could read people well- when he had brought you the news of your engagement and wedding: not a single line in his face moved nor an octave in his speech was raised.
What intimidated you the most about him was his Unbreakable composure and static attitude. If you were someone who knew him shallowly, you'd never think that he's the sick, truculent man who kidnapped a woman, faked her death and forced her to marry him. you'd only see the guise of the hardworking, responsible Marine biologist who's running an organization and responsibilizes himself of research and technology. The fractions in his demeanor were perfectly concealed and painted by a false color of good reputation and near, blessed marriage with a beautiful, loving bride.
In the midst of dark thoughts, your eyes landed on the garnished and florid reflection in the pure glass. The huge vanity mirror epitomized a tableau vivant of a lost puppet and the human who has been coffined beneath it.
Now it's smiling. coloured lips curving up coldly.
The Makeup artist couldn't stop sophisticating about how makeup can accomplish more than the sole purpose of beautifying.
"The mask you put on slowly becomes your new face. the longest you fake a persona the closest it consumes you" the old woman said sotto voce, the sharp eyeliner moving smoothly across your waterline thanks to her careful hand. you only listened, not actually drinking in her words but wanting these long hours of preparation to end.
She blew a gentle whiff of air to remove a speck of dust on your eyelid then continued "a gentle makeup suits a bride the most. it's perfect to tame the wild emotions she experiences, whether it is Joy or even pure misery…no one can see what's under a woman's face when she's adorned"
The last part of her theory caught your attention, the next words confirming it now.
"All of them are just looking at the garniture of you, not what your soul carries"
A vile, revolted emotion washed at you at the sight of your reflection. Surprisingly, that old, talkative dame described you to an exact extent. Never in your life hated being dolled up as much as now: the elegant comb of your hair, the flawless makeup, the bustier that held your chest seductively and the long-sleeved, classic dress.
Compliments were given on your appearance, but you swallowed none of them. If anything, you're the fakest excuse of a happy woman.
In a fit of rage, your gloved fist met the glass in a harsh punch. Even after it was crushed to a pile of glasses around you, the ugly reflection was laughing at you from the remaining shreds of crystal. No, you shall not spend an extra second here and walk on your own feet to the golden grave .
You lifted up your skirt and did a quick Job of unclasping the Lucullan Italian heel, stretching your toes and flexing your ankles to comfort your foot from the tight shoe effect.
Hastily, you removed the gloves from each hand (there were minor wounds in your knuckles, but thankfully, the glove mitigated the injury). with twitching fingers, you began to remove the splendorously Flowered Tiara and the long Chiffon veil attached to it. locks of your hair had already intertwined with the heavy accessory, but your digits did a nervous work of untangling them and fixing your hair back to a loose style.
Your hands sneaked to the cummerbund, Satin waistband. tugging gently at the material so as not to ruin it (Your wedding gown was a family heritage. alongside his blessings, Mr.Joestar gave you his mother's Matrimony Robe as a gift, so harming such an antique patrimony would be a rude act while he was nice to you). The sash loosened slowly, allowing you to respire comfortably after being pressured for a long time. like the Tiara, The waistband was lavished with entrancing wildflowers- something that Mrs.Joestar insisted on involving; her Floral sense of beauty theming everything in the ceremony.
Breathing deeply, you unbuttoned the high neck from behind after a bit of struggling to find the knobs, then hiked up the dress and completely took it off.
Remaining in the Cream bustier and underwear, you debated whether you should take them off or not, but the process will eat your time out and cease your escape, deciding instead to wear your old clothes, retrieve your mobile phone and the reasonable amount of money you still have.
You were sure that Jotaro wouldn't give you any chance of escaping or contacting other people than his trusted acquaintances. all of your previous belongings were taken, but you managed to keep your Phone - which was an extremely difficult thing to do - and use the money you managed to collect covertly in three months.
As predicted from a careful man, The Cathedral is surely surrounded by strict security. him knowing about a sole window in the bridal Suite seemed like he was daring you to run away again after so many failed attempts to do so, and you gladly accepted the Challenge.
It wouldn't be long before the ceremony starts. It is now or never.
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The Room was cold and empty.
Holy's face was pale as she scanned every inch of the room. There was no trace of her daughter-in-law. Everything had gone smoothly: You were happy to be in the company of your husband's family, you accepted his engagement, you smiled when the espousal arrangements started…
What could've possibly gone wrong?!
The worst plagued her mind: a missing wife, an abandoned dress and a widely open window recounted a thriller film scenario, not an occasion for rejoicing and Celebration.
"For the love of God what's taking so-" Josuke was immediately silenced at the sight: Holy was trembling violently, a pool of tears about to cascade down her ghostly bloodless face. one look at your abandoned dress and accessory as well as The deserted room meant two things: you're missing and Jotaro won't be pleased to hear the news.
Staggering across the hallway, the youngman rushed to the Groom's room while thinking of a way to inform him of what happened. Even though he had found a euphemistic choice of words to deliver the unexpected problem, he knew Jotaro would absolutely fume about his wife's disappearance.
Au contraire. Jotaro's face contorted into a dull mein with each detail. It was a bold yet foolish move from you to decide and flee minutes before the wedding's commencement (especially when you were au fait with the level of security and what he had in store for you in cases of disobedience) and once he brings you back there'll be the devil to pay.
"Your mother speculates that she has been kidnapped" he added, hoping to hear a response after an unsettling silence. "guess I'll go and find-"
"You won't, I'll go" Interrupted Jotaro, immediately objecting to the suggestion.
"But you're the Groom, you can't just go and search around on your wedding day while you can leave it to me and the security !"
"I'm the only one who can find her. she's not that far away by now."
"Are you implying that she escaped on her own?" there was a missing point he wanted to get. Undoubtedly, His Nephew was hiding something about you.
Josuke received no reply. Instead, Jotaro adjusted his surgeon's cuffs coolly before speaking "Josuke, make sure to take care of everything during my absence, I won't take a long time anyway". he sauntered towards the door, as Calm as a spring breeze.
The Collected comportment of Him was always a fascinating - if not scary - feature of the Marine biologist. Here he is, going out to search for his missing soon-to-wed in his ritzy tuxedo and Perfectly assured about bringing her back, as if he knows where she'd gone already.
The young man sighed "Fine. don't you worry about it here" he gave up easily. maybe it's better to leave him be instead of inspecting him further. Jotaro was the last person he wanted to cross.
"Good"
Oddly enough, he didn't seem as wrathful as he thought him to be.
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Time was impossibly uncountable.
You'd lost track of time since you left the Cathedral in a haste: How long have you been running? How long did it take them to find out what happened? you didn't know. all what you're knowledgeable about was that if you stopped for a mere second, your life will crumble away forever.
The coursing Pain through your legs, The burning thirst in your throat, The excruciating pressure on your windpipe from lungful and cold amounts of air wasn't comparable to the eternal pain of a strange life with a strange man. Your resolve to break free and regain your ordinary life once again was what kept you running despite the soreness.
As your memory recognized the familiar Places around the Cathedral, it wouldn't be too wrong to assume how close you were to the Station. your Plan was seemingly simple: you would run till you reach the station, hire a Taxi and go back home. So far, the first step is about to be accomplished. All you needed was strength, Patience and an earnest prayer to some sort of a deity in the heavens who would take pity on you and save you.
Luck was smiling at you when you noticed the familiar Outline of the Station. your pace became quicker, willing to run away as fast as possible.
Hope bloomed in your heart again after long months of Captivity, The Experience of being estranged from your family and friends was dreary and solitary, an Incident that shall remain engraved in your memory forever. your expectations didn't fly too high when the unhelped doubt was still there, reiterating the scenarios of getting caught and caged again.
No matter how you tried to wash away the dim view or fill your cogitation with rose-colored glasses, the eerie instinct that he's after you daunted the still remaining sanity within you.
You tilted your head carefully, looking for any sign of Jeopardy. your mind was playing tricks on you as you kept looking around like a frightened prey, the roads and paths were suddenly morphing into the same shape. your memory wasn't one for questioning nor doubting: you passed the same Stop sign three times, the Taxi which was numbered fifty four was exactly seven meters away from you and the distance didn't change. In addition, when you tried to approach the last Taxi, it seemed that you would never be able to reach it although it was near.
Needless to admit the odd presence behind you: Jotaro was after you and he's playing a twisted game with you right now.
You tried to keep your cool and manage your alarum (though your shaky legs disclosed your uneasiness). Cautiously, you moved your head to the side, Catching the Familiar Silhouette of Jotaro from the corner of your eye.
He wasn't very far away from you. The pace of his movement was mimicking yours, Calm and Unrushed - unlike your intentions for breakout - . He was ambling behind you while you faltered in the front. you wondered why he didn't run and catch you directly: you were certain he had seen and recognized you already, not to mention that he was a faster runner.
You quickened your tempo suddenly, deciding to test the limits of his chase and speed up slowly. He still imitated your rapidity, willing to close you up in his range- that was it, you had to be out of his reach.
It is now or never, you encouraged yourself.
You raised your knee and took a long step forward, launching a fast run towards the nearest car and never looking behind you. your legs flew along with the wind; a sudden, brief energy blasting through your pained nerves. you tried to think of your real family, their smiling faces manifesting in your Imagination, motivating you to run faster and faster until you'd make it home.
The Taxi's doorknob nearly slipped under your hand as you opened it swiftly, the driver was startled by your sudden appearance next to him and looked rather concerned: you were practically shuddering, your neat fingers distorted by tiny cuts across their skin.
"Are you alright, miss? do you want me to call the po-"
"Don't call anyone!" you interrupted harshly. you were running out of time and you had to make your destination clear.
"Listen" you rasped, swallowing the thicke lump in your throat before continuing "I'm in a hurry and I don't want to complicate this even more, you'd better start driving or things will get worse"
His face went pale "T-to whe-"
"To Morioh-Cho, Please, Now" you felt bad for aggravating your words, but slacking off in such a dangerous situation wasn't an option.
Your knees went Sluggish with anticipation, Jotaro wouldn't take another second to find and bring you back as well as facing the consequences of your actions.
You didn't want to think of his past threats to end your life if you dared to leave him. This was a huge risk and you had to take it, you had not to fail.
Just as he appeared in your vision's limit, the Car revved up then moved forward, soothing your tense nerves with a slow relief. You closed your eyes, leaning back in the passenger seat and loosening your muscles to ease off the stress.
You sighed deeply, as if letting the past three months of incarceration out of your Chest; breathing in and out, filling your lungs with fresh air, enjoying a serene silence without your fiance's voice reverberating in your ears.
"Enjoying yourself, aren't you ?!"
You nearly jumped off your skin. Is this a hallucination ?!
You woke up from your brief torpor and stared at the vacuous eyes beside you: dangerous blue piercing through you and an ominously unfamiliar dispassion tearing your soul apart.
Your trustable memory didn't recall his existence beside you before… Now he's the one who's driving you. What had happened when you closed your eyes? Have you made a mistake? And where did the pale driver go? Did you fall asleep? Is this a nightmare?
If this is a nightmare, it's a vivid, eccentric one.
"Is this how you repay my efforts of keeping you safe ?! Is this the way you treat someone who did nothing wrong but to protect you ?!" he yelled, clearly out of patience with your advances.
This isn't a nightmare, it's reality, a bitter version of it.
You've never imagined he would have this side of him, he was so angry- graphically enraged. you've never imagined he would be so delusional, you saw him as a sensible man who never believed in love or feelings. You've never Imagined that a man who looks as sane as him would think of hijacking as protection, of insulation as safety- The Insanity he hid for a long time made you shiver.
"What Protection?" you mocked. you've built a severe tension inside for three months. the night thoughts and Imaginary conversations you had in store for him flowed out of your mouth absentmindedly, coated with a venomous grudge and pure hatred towards him.
"You stole away my world and Family, You stole away my freedom and love for life…" he didn't say anything.
"…You're a sad excuse of a man, Kujo Jotaro. no wonder that your comrades and friends died, they didn't want to see you anymore. they didn't want to know someone who's as horrible as you…"
His fingers clutched on the steering wheel.
"…You're unworthy of love. you destroy everything you touch and cause misery for everyone you know…"
He glared at you, hot blood pooling under his skin.
"…I've never loved you, I still don't love you and I'll never love you…"
He Clenched his Jaw, pressing harder on the driving wheel. The Car was too fast, But you didn't care. you hoped that you would die in an accident rather than be with him for eternity.
"…I hate you"
He trod on the brake pedal at full tilt. The Vehicle stopped dead in its tracks, Convulsing and Subsiding in long seconds. you bumped your head on the glove box's top, feeling your nose at it squashed and bled. You yelped at the sudden burst of ache in your philtrum and laid your hand on it so as to soothe the pain.
You glanced up at Jotaro. His face was still red- You couldn't reckon whether because of his earlier spurt to find you or because of the things you'd just said. a Scowl took over his still handsome face, The usual expression he gave before sneering at you.
Instead of getting a verbal reply, his rough hand came in contact with your throat, Squeezing hard at your windpipe. The remaining nerve of patience was cut; and the tolerance he had for you drained out.
"I could kill you right now! watch your language with me you selfish, Ignorant woman!" he threatened. The pressure he applied on your neck was enough to inform you that he wasn't just threatening.
Blue and Green tints obscured your vision, Oxygen becoming less and less.
"…Don't you know how much I was worried about you? worried sick that you were taken away or got hurt!…"
Your nerves were on fire; electrified and violent.
"…Everyone is worried about you… they were happy to have you among them and this is how you return the favor!…"
You choked out a weak plea to make him stop.
"…I worked so hard to make your life- our life comfortable and happy…"
Warmth layered your eyesight. even from your heavily blurred seeing, you could see something twitch in his eyes.
"…I did all of this to have you…I couldn't let you go…"
Your palms finally moved and squeezed at his large hands.
"I love you…"
He finally spared you. His palms unwrapped your throat quickly and covered your small ones instead.
You drew in a Deep breath and reabsorbed the lost air. You didn't dare move away fearing another sudden outburst of him.
Oddly, He seemed to be quiet, lost in thought about something. The pale Color of his skin was back, returning to his calm, composed self once more.
Either of you said nothing (what was there to be said after a harsh paroxysm?) and Chose to listen to the peaceful Bird Chirping.
You looked outside the Window. You didn't know whether a Lavender field was a place that Jotaro planned to take you to, or simply stopped in by hazard.
You leaned back and breathed deeply, welcoming a sedating air into your lungs. The Fresh scent of Lavender Carried you to a whole nother world, a somnolent corner of your mind, free from any Interference or Strife. The driver's door clicking sound fell flatly on your ears; your senses were too somniated to process or realize anything.
Even when the thought of him murdering and burying you in a field of Lavenders seemed like a beautiful dream, less than a terrible fate you expected.
The passenger door was opened, with him standing in your vision. You wanted a bullet to break through your skull, or a shiny dagger to stab its course through your pampered skin. a color to paint the purple flowers red, It was Strangely poetic and bewitching.
"Sit up"
You obeyed, moving to the side and dangling your legs out of the Car, wanting to end this as quickly as possible. You didn't close your eyes, you wanted to see the field one last time before paying nature's debt.
The last thing you expected was getting your shirt hiked up; your skin exposed to the cool afternoon breeze and goosebumps rising on your arms.
Did he have another intention than ending your life? maybe he wanted to send you to the grave nude, Or take advantage of you one last time First…
The thought was Immediately brushed off when you noticed your wedding's gown clutched in his arm. Now everything is Clear, except for one thing.
"Aren't you going to kill me?" you asked, not realizing you asked him out loud.
He pulled down your trousers, questioning you back nonchalantly "Why would I kill you?"
Swallowing the knot, you answered "You said you would… If I ran away"
He donned you the Robe, starting from your neck and straightening it down your waist. A few seconds passed with the lone Bird Chirping and soft plants Swishing. He suddenly stood straight, towering over your small sitting form and snorting out a tight reply "So is this how you think of me? Am I that heartless to you?!"
You had no respond.
He continued, crouching to shoe your feet with the expensive heel "Why do you think I would keep you to myself if all I had towards you is killing you? Why would I bother to protect and provide for you when I have ill intentions for you? Why would I come to take you back even after your attempts to leave me?"
Astonishment wasn't the one to tie your tongue, having no answer to his questions was.
He gloved your hands after cleaning them "It's because I love you" He answered instead. "I do love you…although I don't show you as much, although you don't feel the same…"
He rose on his feet, a strange hue of sensation you're seeing for the first time in his eyes "although you say you hate me many times…" He wiped the blood from your nose with a clean handkerchief, not really wanting an answer from you.
It was strange, that hint of Pain and Betrayal in his voice.
How come you're feeling like you're the heartless human now? how come you're the one who's tormenting him all along?
You tried to convince yourself that he's lying, that he's coaxing you into a false sense of love, that his tears were nothing more than Crocodile tears… But the guilt insisted on disrupting your psyche.
The Sunset enameled the world in dazzling, prismatic shades of Cinnabar and Orange. you drank in the view from your window, feeling nothing but a comforting emptiness. Visual shadows of buildings and Trees raced in front of your eyes, filling your memory with a serene Nostalgia.
Jotaro was focusing on the road. As much as he wanted to return and finish the ceremony quickly, he felt the need for you both to absorb their feelings First, before you would step on a new route of life.
"You look beautiful." He said.
An empty smile crept on your lips.
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The Kisses on your skin were pleasant, passionate and possessive, sealing every inch of your flesh with the branding of his lips. they travelled leisurely across your face, to your neck and down your Chest and waist. You tried to stay still for him and direct the anticipation to your fists -by grasping on the silky sheets tightly- but the tickles in the pit of your stomach weakened your nerves.
Tough palms of his dallied your sides and fondled your breasts; the amatory touch earning him a soft mewl from your lips.
The fragrance of Lavender lingered on his skin; shoulders and arms caging you on the mattress and squeezing you closer. you still can see the spellbound look of his blue eyes under your dark eyelids, a look he beheld you with when you stood together on the altar.
He poured his words In a suave, silky inflection, feeling the weight of his speech as your name rolled down his tongue in the start "I've never imagined to be so worthy of fate's mercy and so smiled upon by whatever deity was in the heavens. Your love was the ultimate grace and the greatest gift I've ever received, and I couldn't be more thankful to have you in my life"
The alienly sweet lips moved down, planting more busses on your bosom and stomach. The warm hands sneaked to your Clitoris; the press of his digits loading your veins with a zestful energy with each circular move.
"I used to think of my life as a mere repetition of events, a colorless time of living and an empty existence. I had no one in heart, no love to hope for coming back to, no soul to embrace myself into. However, when my eyes landed on your alluring beauty, I, for the first time In my life, felt how a heart would beat truly and lively. Warmth and love were so new yet so addicting to me; I couldn't have enough from a single look"
Your limbs jerked up from the stimulation, bubbles foaming under your skin when his fingertip traced the hood, tickling and massaging before moving to your slit.
"I still remember our first encounter as if it's a lucid memory from yesterday. It was in the blink of an eye, you looked at me without seeing me; It felt like a glory, a zephyrous spring, an ardent sun and a warm sea. If I had in mind a way to show you how much I'm in love with you, I wouldn't be able to show enough except by offering you my heart, here and in front of all my loved ones, now and forever…"
Gentler than a feather, he continued to rub on your sex, dandling each part of the wet flesh. Hot pool of tears filled under your eyelids from the overstimulation, you couldn't think or recall anything at the moment.
His middle finger stroked in and out, adding more fuel to the fire and flying you closer to heaven; Your own moans and keens ringing into your ears unfeelingly. Hypersensitive and On fire, you felt every drop of blood rush to your face and ears. a touch…then another and another… till the colors in your vision exploded into a white sweven.
"Will you offer me your heart as I offered you mine? Will you spend the rest of your life by my side and be the light that guides me through the dimness of life? Will you love me like I love you?"
"Will you be mine till the end of time?"
None wouldn't have believed that his rehearsed words were a voice of heart.
Summoning enough courage to utter those sole two words was more difficult than sermoning a whole staged oration.
Your eyes shifted behind him. What would happen if you refused to be in the company of these smiling faces who waited for your agreement? Even If, your refusal meant nothing.
"I do"
How long have you drowned in your reveries? not too long. The heavenly climax washed over your soul, clouding your consciousness. Lust and Vigour controlled you.
A weak croon left your throat when he grabbed your thighs and positioned himself between your legs. your ankles were raised effortlessly so he can press his upper half against yours till your foreheads together.
Warm breath fanned on your face. lifting your eyelids up, you were met by his eyes, rapt and hazed; staring right through your soul.
As his fingers intertwined with yours, he whispered "Do you love me now?"
"No." Was it the truth or a mere falsity like your life?
He didn't respond. Instead, he sheathed himself into you, pushing his hips forward with force. The sudden stretch of your walls shocked you, his length occupying your insides and kissing your cervix.
You moaned loudly, a jolly mix of pain and pleasure stinging your lower half.
It felt hot and sticky -thanks to his earlier efforts in stimulating you- and throbbing. you moaned loudly at the feeling. Although it wasn't actually your first time with him, his large member never failed to force out a climax from you. your mind was certain of its hatred towards him, but your body obeyed every touch and thrust he gave.
Thrusts started out methodic and slow, Wanting to feel every inch of your soft walls against his girth and enjoy the moans you made. Your Husband was usually rough, deciding to take time and savor each second of being inside of you, as if it was the first time to touch and indulge in you.
Each thrust rubbed the most sensitive spots within; increasing the volume of your moans as the room shook in your vision. The lewd sound of skin slapping and his huffs against the Shell of your ear adding to the coming heat.
Even before receiving another sweet release for the night, you found yourself straddling his torso as he stood up. He easily held the weight of your small form, slamming your back against the wall to continue pounding into you.
It felt too deep: He knew your body more than you did. Those hidden spots were fully hit, just as he memorized where to bring you close. He loved the new position too, his groans and ragged breaths being enough of a proof.
It felt too opaque: Seconds passed slowly yet quickly. Closing your eyes again and gyrating your hips mindlessly to meet his jostles was the only thing you had in mind. Faint Images of his eyes blurred amidst the dark corners of your vision, something that you didn't forget nor comprehend, just like your feelings towards him.
It was so sudden: a pleasing comfort foamed and explosive underneath. the knot of your stomach untied itself as you felt his warmth spill inside of your womb, accompanied by a deep, long groan from his throat.
The world around you formed again, Only when you started to drift off to sleep. His final words were there to remember during your awakening.
"If I couldn't be enough for you to love, then a child would have you love me."
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Mrs.Joestar was a Stylish woman Indeed.
The Pillow Appliqué she made was Gorgeous, If the word was enough to describe its artistry. No wonder why Jotaro and Holy made her the ceremony's organizer.
Pink Carnations and White Orchids Graced The Pink Silk In a Circular Shape. You admired how versed She was In sewing: The Pearly shade of pink she chose, The elegant Curve of each petal and leaf, not forgetting how stunning the lace they were made of. Years of Maidenhood in Italy and being under the service of an elegant Mistress sharpened her feminine senses and refined her talents greatly.
You remembered her youthful grin as she offered you her gift, rambling about a dream she had not so long ago.
"I dreamt of you eating apples, lots and lots of red apples!" She chirped. "Do you know what that means?" Suzie gave you a prompting look, waiting for you to realize the indication of her dream rather than an actual answer.
You furrowed your eyebrows, thinking of a possible interpretation of what she'd said. Why exactly would a dream mean anything to what you're experiencing now?!
"I can't seem to think of an explanation, Mrs.Joestar" you replied politely before chuckling "What does it mean?"
"It's a great sign Sweetheart! you're going to be a mother soon!"
She delivered the simple answer as if it was something you wanted to hear. A Child is what every woman longs for, isn't it? and when you think of your situation, you didn't want to meet Jotaro or any of his family members, let alone have a Child with him.
"You're going to have a beautiful baby girl, isn't that Sweet?!" She said dreamily, Cupping her face and possibly fantasizing about the little baby of her grandson.
"I had the same dream After I got married for a while. Later I knew that I was with Child! And I eventually had my precious Holy! isn't that beautiful? A girl is much better than a boy…"
You couldn't Imagine yourself as a mother.
The mere thought of bringing another soul to this world had your bones shiver. a Child was the last thing you wanted- But something he wanted and craved to have.
Jotaro had made his wishes clear since that fateful night together. He would leave you filled to the brim with his seed, sore and dazed. He had whispered of how pretty you'll look in a maternity gown, palming your rounded belly and sensing that little pulse inside. Even If what Suzie had said was true, what kind of difference would a girl make to your life if you didn't want her to come at all?!
"What are you thinking of?"
Jotaro's voice crushed your train of thought. You were holding the little baby pillow in your hands for half an hour for now.
"Just tired." you lied.
Silence stretched. You didn't want to have another conversation with him for now. In fact, you didn't want nor had enough power to converse with anyone at all. You continued staring at the tailored flowers while rubbing your thumb at the soft fabric.
Loud Footsteps ruined the silence. He sat down beside you, The soft sound of his breathing filling your ears for a minute. His hands held yours gently, Both of your rings glinting under the morning's sunlight.
"Grandmother Suzie said that we'll have a daughter." You didn't need to look up at his face to know how happy he was; Even if his tone seemed Composed, there was that little octave which told it all.
"I've been thinking of a good name for her" He was confident about it too, although you were only Five weeks pregnant.
You didn't think of the soul Inside at all. You felt unattached to it, So close yet so far from the thing inside. The blood string that connects it to you, nor that faint heartbeat will never make you feel a thing towards it.
"Yet I couldn't find a proper one" He scooted even closer, bringing his other hand to hold the little pillow of what they called 'your daughter'.
Still no word from you. Why would he think of a name for something that shouldn't exist?! Why would he want something that he can't take care of?!
Why would he bother to ask you about it?!
"I thought you had a good name for her"
You swallowed back a harsh remark forcefully, hiding the truth of your feelings towards him and his damn baby. You needed to stay calm for an unknown period of time.
"Jolyne" You managed to let out. "We'll name her Jolyne. If she's a female, Of course."
The name wasn't that meaningful or symbolic. You just gathered your tongue's letters and formed a name out of them. as silly as it may seem, but the name sounded a little lovable.
"Jolyne" he repeated, as if liking the roll of the simple name on his tongue. The least he can do to bring you back a little Joy is giving you the honor of naming your daughter: The child you made together, The little flower that will bloom, The pure Lily of Love and Life.
His blue eyes twinkled with hope. Cupping your face, He planted a soft kiss; most of his soft kisses ever. tangling his fingers with your hair and tasting your lips.
You didn't feel anything.
Breaking the kiss, he looked at your eyes, looking for that familiar mirthfulness he obsessed over.
"Jolyne it is. Promise me that you'll love us forever"
"I promise" you lied again- that was what you thought.
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Dawn broke Through the airplane's small window, Casting transparent lights across the cabin and drawing thin rays on the walls. Birds Chirped gleefully and loudly with each passing second, announcing the start of a brand new day.
Fourteen hours separates you from your new life. a new life of you, your husband and your upcoming daughter. Upon the remembrance of her -She's officially a female, the doctor announced- Your hands massaged your stomach tepidly, smoothing away the tensing and kicking fetus. 'Jolyne' as you started to call it, was doing great according to the smiling Gynecologist: Her heart rate is normal, Her position and Growth is as expected, and no abnormalities or problems at all as for now. In addition to comforting Jotaro about your ability to travel without any risks to his baby or his wife.
Generally, Your first ever pregnancy was going well. Your excuse to stay by his side was soon to be born just in another four months.
"How are you feeling now?" He asked, concerned.
"Just tired." you were really tired; not from having a living creature deep in your guts, but from everything you went through in less than a year.
"You'll get to rest once we're there" He reached to rub your stomach, enacting a gesture of parental affection.
You knew it was another lie: You'll never be able to rest, You'll never be able to see the lights of a true life. the existence of an untouchable decoration was all you could call your life at this point.
You had no choice: Pretending to be a good wife became what you are, and soon enough, You'll be a good mother who previously pretended to be happy about carrying The Joestar's heiress. Your old self shattered, not a fragment from it was present in your brand new one.
All of them are just looking at the garniture of you, not what your soul carries.
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adiabolikpastelrp · 1 year
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Roleplay Master List
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Welcome to the roleplay master list!
Here you can find all of the different roleplays that involve the OCs of @adiabolikpastel. Each will feature other characters from different blogs, which will be credited to the roleplay's individual post.
Sorted below are the OCs and the many or few roleplays they have. Each one is titled and listed in chronological order. Additionally, the status of each story is provided.
For any questions; please refer to the Blog Guidelines.
Enjoy!
●・○・●・○・● | Tormented Reverie | ●・○・●・○・●
Yuuki Koishikawa
Yuki Awashima
A Little Help (w/ Alrick & Lily) ~ Haitus
●・○・●・○・● | Tormented Reverie: Another Daydream | ●・○・●・○・●
Kanaye Sakamaki
Full Moon Scare (w/ Tsubasa) ~ Completed The Demon and Vampire (w/ Spencer) ~ Completed Something in her Eyes (w/ Izumi) ~ Discontinued You Get It (w/Isabella) ~ Completed An Unexpected Encounter (w/ Spencer & Isabella) ~ Completed
The Unexpected Meeting (w/Juliet) ~ Completed Unnamed Role Play (w/Zion ft. Juliet) ~ Haitus
One Final Push (w/Isabella ft. Spencer) ~ Haitus
Yukio Sakamaki
A Night Out in Town (w/ Isaiah) ~ Completed Hate, Loath and Despise (w/ Juliet) ~ Haitus When Yukio Met Silas (w/ Silas) ~ Discontinued
Rini Sakamaki
Only in Wonderland (w/ Leon) ~ Completed
●・○・●・○・● | Excruciating Duplicity | ●・○・●・○・●
Skye Oakly
Little Parakeet (w/ Alrick) ~ Completed With a Guy (w/ Alrick) ~ Haitus
Loving You (w/ Alrick) ~ Completed Break (w/ Alrick) ~ Completed
Callista Loren
Rosalyn Dupont
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universalistotalis · 3 years
Text
Too Far
Angst!!!
Atsumu Miya x Female Reader
Word count: 1.5k
Loving Atsumu Miya was absolute bliss. You loved every second of his affection, his skin, his warmth, his laugh, and his jokes. That giant bastard may be a crackhead to his friends and family, but with you, his affectionate side just pops out of nowhere. His eyes filled with love when he looks at you. His arms opened so wide to envelope you in an embrace so tight, your feet lift up the floor with ease. His words laced with care and love with a hint of playfulness at the side and they never failed to make your insides scramble everytime.
You shake your head from the daydream that you’ve consistently been having since the start of the relationship.
God, you loved him so much, didn’t you? You gave your whole world to the man of your dreams. You sacrificed time, effort, patience, you name it, just to have one second by his side.
And because of that love, you became an absolute fool.
Who were you kidding, right? THE Great Atsumu Miya will never settle. Who were you to tame that wild beast? How special did you think you were when he had a sea of people under his spell, his command?
Just face it, you’re nothing to him.
And so you did. You left your shared apartment after waiting for him to come home for the nth time. Who knows where he was, who he’s with, what he’s doing. You were done thinking of an imaginary Atsumu who will love you wholeheartedly. That’s just not going to happen.
After many sobs and insecurities flooding in, you were ready to face the world again. Even more ready to face Atsumu. He’s nothing to you now. There were no grudges held in your heart. There were no tears in yours eyes. But more importantly, there was new love formed in your chest and that’s reserved for the most important person in your life. You.
“Damn, y/n!!! What happened to you?!” One of your friends cheered as you met to go to a club on a Friday night. Work was pretty hectic lately and you all agreed to a well- deserved night out.
“No kidding, you’re literally glowing!!!” Another hyped and slapped your ass playfully as you walked through the doors. “Let’s get wasted tonight!!!”
And my god, your whole group did. You all danced to your heart’s content, ordered liquor until your head got rid of all inhibitions, laughed at each other’s faces and jokes… overall, it was a night to remember.
“Y/n?” You heard a voice behind you followed by your right wrist being cased within the hands of another.
You were just on the verge of getting sober so you wonder if the image right in front of your eyes was real or not. He used to stand with his chest puffed out in confidence but now, he looked deflated. Under his eyes were dark circles, proof of him not sleeping well. His usual playful demeanor was gone and the man in front of you now looked so lost, confused… lonely.
“Atsumu?” You squinted, not believing the sight in front of you.
“It really is you.” He slurred and you had a whiff of liquor on his breath. “How have you been?”
“I’ve been doing great, Miya. Thanks.” You smiled, genuinely.
“Where’s my sweet nickname?” He joked. “You look so damn happy celebratin’ with yer friends tonight, huh? That happy to be rid of me, ain’t ya?” He chuckled darkly.
You were taken aback with what he said. What does he have to do with you having a great party?
“Miya, don’t do this right now. I have to go.” You tried to excuse yourself from his intrusion.
“I hate it. I hate it so goddamn much.” He whispered, closing the distance between you two and caged you on the wall behind. “I’ve been a mess since ya left, sweetheart. Seeing you having the time of your life makes me feel so damn angry. Am I that easy to forget?”
“Atsumu, I—“
“Come back to me.” He puffed. “Come back to me and I promise to treat ya right. I’ll do everythin’ ya want, just please… I love you.” His voice faltered at the end as whimpers of his cries followed. Never in your whole life did you think you’d see him break down because of you. But here he is! AND you never thought of hearing those three words with utmost sincerity from his lips. But again, here he is!
A nostalgic smile lifted from your lips and Atsumu stared at it for a while. The alcohol in his system was enough to make himself go haywire but your smile sent him spiraling. He meant what he said. He missed you to death. He needed you back.
“Come back to me, please.” He repeated and leaned his forehead on yours.
“I’m sorry, Miya.” You said as you held his face in your hands. “Thank you for being honest with me. But it’s too late. I’ve moved on from everything and you should too.”
His head violently shook no as more tears spilled from his eyes. He’ll do everything for you except let you go. “I’ll be better. Please, I’ll be better! I’ll try my best to keep ya, baby, that’s how much I love you! I can’t—“
“Then try your best with the next person because it won’t be me, Miya. I hope you understand.” You said while wiping his tears. “That relationship was too toxic for me and I can’t go back.”
“I’m sorry.” He said, voice too slow and too low to even hear but you did. “I’m so sorry.”
“Atsumu! You prick!” Your head whipped to the left at the familiar voice that boomed. Osamu barreled over to where you were but his steps slowed as he saw your figure caged inside Atsumu’s arms.
“Y/n.” He said, as if in a daze.
“Hi Osamu.” You greeted awkwardly since Atsumu’s stare is still hard and focused on your face. The alcohol seemed to have a toll on him and he was beginning to doze off. Either that, or he still did not process what you’ve been saying.
“Stop it, man.” Osamu came behind his twin and caught him by the collar. He turned to you next while carrying a limp Atsumu in his embrace. “I’m sorry for his behavior. He drinks more than he can take. He’s been out of it since… you know… your break up.”
You smiled sadly. “Oh.” Well, what were you supposed to say to that?
“Y/n!!! Come back here!” One of your friends saw you and waved you to the table.
“That’s my cue to go.” You smiled.
“Yeah.” Osamu nodded.
“Osamu, you’re here!” Atsumu woke up from his reverie and comically hugged his brother, surprising the both of you.
“You know what? Y/n was here! I told her I love her but she didn’t believe me! Tell her! Tell her for me! Maybe she’ll believe you! Help me man, I can’t lose her!”
Your chest burned at the sight and at his words. How you longed for him to say those three words in the past. But it’s just too late.
“Stop it, Tsumu.” Osamu whispered, heart aching for his twin. He saw how broken he was these past few months but then it was his fault after all. He shot you an apologetic look. “I’m sorry for this again. Take care, Y/n.”
“Take care too, Osamu.” You smiled. “Take care of him too.”
“I will.” He agreed then proceeded to take Atsumu to their table.
“It hurts, Samu.” Sudden whimpers came out from Atsumu’s mouth after a few steps. “It fucking hurts. I don’t think I can take this.”
“Imagine how she felt, you bastard.” Osamu sighed. “She really was a keeper, wasn’t she?”
Atsumu hummed in agreement. “She was. She still is.”
“Look, she’s gone, Tsumu. You need to move the fuck on and stop tormenting the poor girl! You’ve caused her enough pain.” Atsumu then was dumped harshly on the cushions.
“You don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” The saying rang in Atsumu’s ears, echoing louder and louder as the music in the club intensified throughout the night. It mocked him to the core! He drank himself to oblivion for months now, trying to forget your presence in his life. Visions of you were everywhere! You were in his room tucking him to bed. You were in the kitchen whipping up a random recipe from the internet. You were in his living room, dancing to his playlist even when you heard the songs for the first time. You were in the stands cheering for his every move. You were even on his morning jogs, passing his water bottle to make sure he’s hydrated.
You took care of him in the best way possible and he can’t believe how involved you were with his life. How did he not see that? He didn’t realize that what he bothered himself within the past were temporary things that brought temporary bliss. You were his life, his love. How could he throw something so serious? So permanent?
He watched you from afar, drunk as fuck but visions still sharp as a hawk on your side. You were happily talking to your friends, rewarding them with your gorgeous smile and wonderful laugh. Maybe this was his punishment for ever breaking someone as pure as you.
He may be close to where you were but he can never be too close to be yours again.
Okay wait HAHAHA I love Atsumu but I wanted to write an angsty post about him so here it is! This was inspired by the song “Bedroom” by JJ Lin and Anne- Marie. I just love that song so much, I have it on repeat rn.
ALSO YOU'RE SO WORTH IT AND YOU DESERVE THE BEST! Just reminding y'all in case you forgot. <3 hope you liked this one! <3
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florencwrites · 3 years
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echoes, page seven 〚dreamwastaken〛
A good day, at last. She allows herself to smile at her friend's idiocracy, Tommy once again being the reason for her bliss. Sam offers to take her with him, alas, she is not able to abandon the shackles of her longing.
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The days were getting longer, both physically but also mentally. They were filled with hopeless waiting and disappointed glances, any time Sam would pass her after clocking out. He would always stop by her when heading home, standing behind her for a few minutes, staring at the crashing waves together. He rarely tried saying anything, most of the time his silence spoke a thousand truths.
No news. No letter.
He would press a kiss to the top of her head, squeeze her shoulder, and be on his way. The portal room had stayed unlocked for a full week, it was no longer needed for him to remind her of the fact. Not that she had made use of it a single time, but it was the selflessness of his intention that warmed her heart time after time.
She just sat by the water, now. Her hands limp in her lap, no longer pulling at its perimeters. The grass slowly starting sprouting again from the disturbed soil, tiny-teeny roots pushing themselves through the dirt. She sploshed her feet around a little in the water, taking notice of the wrinkles starting to form on her skin.
Her eyes scoured the horizon, tears prickling at the sight of the sun cloaking itself once again. Partly because of the harsh lights still emitted by it, partly because that meant another day had passed. Another day where she had not heard from her lover, where her tireless adoration was left unanswered. Sam would be meeting her any minute, he always did. The exhaustion would always be written in bold letters on his features, utter fatigue etching itself into his skin.
He didn't look good, she noticed only the day before that the entire situation was starting to take a toll on him, as well. His air always looked disheveled when he met her, in contrast to its slicked form when he would start his shift. Dark bags under his eyes, blue-ish hue to his skin, the whole ordeal.
"Hey." She felt his presence hover behind her, knees impossibly close to pressing against her back. Two hands on both of her shoulders, a gentle, simultaneous, squeeze. She craned her neck to meet his eyes, empty as she had expected, however it still stung. She whispered a faint greeting through pursed lips. "Do you want to come with me?"
"Where?" Her voice was croaky, roughened by the simple lack of utilization during the past few weeks. He lifted his right hand to place it down on her head, running his fingers through her hair, offering an amicable smile. "I'm gonna help Tommy with his 'First Lady' suite."
Her lips pulled themselves up into a smile instantaneously, a lively chuckle escaping her lips. Straight away, a sweet, genuine, laugh sounded from Sam, as well, "He insists that a President's suite is 'simply too sexist'."
"Of course he would say that." A hopeful glint found its way into her eyes, glimmering with eager excitement to speak about her friend. To feel content again, for once, no matter how long or shortlived it might end up being. "Let me guess, he took the penthouse and called it 'Big Man HQ'?"
Sam chuckled softly at her insinuation, patting her head again gently before admitting, "He didn't, uh, take the penthouse."
"What? Did he give it to Tubbo?" She smiled, shaking her head as her eyes met the horizon again. "Of course little Tommy would give the penthouse away, too many stairs, I bet."
"Uh-" He couldn't help but stutter and stammer, trying to offer her the truth as tenderly and considerately as he could. "He named it after you, actually."
"Won't let anyone touch it, either." He sniffed nervously, taking apprehensive notice of her silence, hoping so very dearly that he was not the one that sent her into another silent protest. "It's decorated entirely in purple, he didn't know what your favorite color was." He decided to keep speaking, to fill the silence as to not force her into reticence. "I told him I was pretty sure it was pink, but he said he couldn't risk assuming a woman's favorite color was pink."
"And then he went on this whole rant about how blue was just as bad, if not worse, so Tubbo told him to pick yellow." A faint smile was evident in his tone, his hand continuing to run through her hair calmingly. "So, obviously, he told Tubbo that was the stupidest idea he had ever heard, and that he was forbidden from speaking again." She lifted her lips up, too, a fond smile displaying itself to the waves. "So I showed him what color that would make, which, unfortunately, was black."
"I like black."
"Yeah, I know," His left hand squeezed her shoulder assuringly. "But, he said he would get 'canceled' for racism." Another enamored giggle sounded from beneath him, sentiment getting the better of her. "He asked me what color it would make without the yellow."
"Let me get this right, he asked you what color pink and blue would make?" She lifted her legs from the water, turning sideways to rest them on the shore. Swatting her hands over her legs as to somewhat dry them off, Sam continued, "Purple, yeah."
She offered him her hands with another grin, he gratefully took them, obviously, and pulled her from the floor. "I bet it's the prettiest, entirely purple room I've ever seen."
"I bet it's the only one, right?" He laughed as she nodded, walking side-by-side, away from the portal chamber. "It's an ugly purple, too, it's like the brightest, dullest color you've ever seen."
A dry chuckle as the smile that had been plastered on her face, was slowly dissipating into thin air. Her step started stalling, steadily decreasing the cheerfulness she had felt with the idea of seeing her Tommy again.
A heavy strain, tugging at her legs. An almost magnetic pull connecting her to the chamber that had offered her such inexcusable torture. She didn't want to stay, but her legs soon gave out, not allowing her to set foot any further from the portal than she had been at that exact moment.
She wanted nothing more than to see her friend, her little brother. She didn't want to stay, but right then, she realized that she had no choice in the matter.
The wailing obsidian and smothered, violet blazes, screamed for her to not even dare to think about abandoning them, abandoning him. She sat on her bloodied knees, the splinters of the wooden pathway burying themselves into her skin. Unwilling sobs tore themselves from her throat, frustrated screams as she tried so desperately to claw her way out of the mental confines of the prison.
Sam stood by, unable to be of any assistance, watching the poor girl get tormented by her own anguish. She cried and cried, pure resentment in her tone. Resentment for not just her situation, but herself, too, in a way. Silent tears started streaming down Sam's face, guilt washing over his every sense.
Some part of him knew it was not going to be this easy, but was hope not the fuel of life? Or, perhaps faith truly was merely a fool's paradise, perhaps utopia was nothing more but a meaningless reverie, a daydream if you will.
He could not give up, for the sake of her, he could not give up now. Not now, perhaps never.
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dark-imagine-robots · 4 years
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Semi-Dump for Reveritale!
If the word "Megalovania" (sans' fight theme) has word definitions to it, then what are the word definitions for "Teralazing" (spinswap Papyrus' theme).
I mean, since Reveritale goes along most roles to spinswap, it doesn't bother me if you guys say Imago is gonna "Teralize" a person, but I can't quite make due with words that have no meaning or no definitions.
I can only find meaning in the word as combined root words ((Which I very much did with Imago's short name and real name)), which Terr- is a Latin root word for "earth, land" and -ize is English for "to render, make".
It can make some since since Imago is a Skeleton Demon and Skeleton Demons are from the ground too, or the fact everything takes place Underground.
But I'm also doing a thing on my own with my Reveritale au where it follows a certain theme that the original Undertale story somewhat follows.
To put it this way to shape out the theme I'm somewhat following for Reveritale, ((since I don't actually know the word for this theme)) I'll explain the names of certain characters of the Reveritale au...
The royal family of the original Undertale story are called the Dreemurrs, which in turn sounds, or obviously is suppose to be, the word Dreamer/Dreamers. The royal family of the Reveritale au are called the Fantastis, the last name for them does not related to the word "fantastic" or "Fantasy", but it's actually connects to the real word "Fantasist".
Another example name, and one that's a little on the nose somewhat, is Reveritale Gaster's name "Illuseem". Of course it's suppose to sound like the word "illusion", but it's also relating to the phrase "Not who they seem". Since Gaster is suppose to be a caretaker and father, but he never differentiated his own son as just another scientific project and saw Imago as something to exploit for study instead of an adopted son of the royal family.
Last and most primary example name to the theme is both Imago's short name and full skeleton demon name, along with the au's name.
Imago's full Skeleton Demon name, his real name, is Gaioharmr. His full name consists of two words, Gaio meaning "happy or making people happy. gleeful" and the word harmr meaning "hurt, pain; evil, grief,sorrow; insult". While his short name Imago, a scrambled our word from his full name, means "an unconscious idealized mental image of someone, especially a parent, which influences a person's behavior."
The au's name "Reverie" means, "a state of being pleasantly lost in one's thoughts; a daydream."
From these, you can kinda get the theme I'm trying to go for in the Reveritale au. As much as Teralazing sounds neat and is the thing people know about in terms of a Papyrus taking an evil role/chara role, Imago's Theme name would actually be another name that somewhat goes along the lines of Teralazing and that's the word "Tantalizing", meaning "tormenting or teasing with the sight or promise of something unobtainable." and/or "exciting one's senses or desires." Which is more fitting to the theme and would make more sense with Imago's interactions with Imago and then how Imago takes control last minute in the pacifist route after the Genocide route.
Hehehe, I don't mind you guys still using Teralazing, but the theme name is gave is Tantalizing.
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((Kinda updated his first sprite since his claws poke out of claws and cheeks are brighter now. If you wanna know more about Reveritale or see other dumps for it, just go under the "Reveritale" tag on my blog. Or leave an ask for questions.))
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clementine-shine · 4 years
Text
Moxxie and Millie’s Quiet Night
The sounds of wailing were what woke Millie that night.
Carefully tugging up her black chemise, Millie maneuvered her body over her husband. In response, Moxxie gave an undignified snort as his wife blearily made her way across their queen sized bed.
Another sob echoed throughout their small bedroom. Effectively waking up the droused Moxxie.
Eyes still crusted over with sleep, he slurred, “Wassa noise?”
“It’s just Maizie, dear.” Millie giggled. “Go back to sleep. I’ll take care of her, love.”
That was all Moxxie needed. Within thirty seconds, he was back to snoring like a donkey. Millie shook her head at her husband's antics. He never really was one for early mornings. Millie, on the other hand, had had years of practice getting up before the crack of dawn. Setting herself up for the perfect kill.
Nowadays, she got up early for different reasons.
Said reason was her and Moxxie’s little imp daughter. Maizie was her name. And crying her horns off, seemed to be her game.
As Millie trudged around the corner to her daughter’s room, the crying seemed to pick up. Almost bursting poor Millie’s ear drums.
‘Curious’ she thought. Usually Maizie calmed down when she sensed her mother’s presence. But no, the imp’s wails only pitched in volume. Making Millie’s trek to her baby’s room a bit faster.
There, in her crib, squirmed Maizie. Her red skin even more flushed from all her howling. Fat tears rolling down her chubby cheeks, blurring the sight of her should-be-comforting mother.
Millie dashed her way over to the cream colored crib on the right side of the room. Lightly shushing her daughter. Petting her hair, and stroking her teary face.
Picking up her little girl didn’t seem to quell the small one’s distress. Nor did the subsequent feeding, diaper changing, or lullaby seem to work. Millie groaned frustratedly from the nearby rocking chair. Not realizing all the noise had effectively woken up her husband.
He came plodding in, seeing the sight of his poor Millie holding his unconsolable child.
The bags under Millie’s eyes gave away that she had been up for a few hours trying to calm Maizie. His daughter looked worse for wear too. Her black and white hair clung pitifully to her pitiful face. Making her look like Hell’s worse grudge impression.
He watched in sympathy as his miserable daughter raised her chubby arms up to him, whimpering to be picked up by her daddy. This caused his heart to melt, making him pick up his baby and give his wife some much needed rest.
“Hey sweetheart,” he began soothingly, “what’s wrong?”
Only heart-wrenching sobs answered him. He sighed, unsure of what to do.
Ever since Maizie was born, Millie had been the one to step up and take charge. She handled most of the diaper changes, tantrums, and midnight check-ups. He guessed it was because Millie was the one who wanted a child more than anything. They had tried for months to get pregnant. But once they finally did, Millie’s personality changed almost overnight. She was much more “motherly” in a sense. Even becoming docile to Loona.
Moxxie had wanted kids too, just not as much as his wife.
But once little Maizie came into the picture, he (normally) couldn’t think of his life without her. Except for moments like this. He hated to admit he had those thoughts, but sometimes Moxxie daydreamed about the quiet nights he and Millie once shared. And the days when his nostrils weren’t constantly filled with the scent of dirty diapers.
Alas, those days were behind him. Now, he had to man up and be the best father he could be for his little girl. And that included right now.
As he was brought out of his reverie, he flinched as Maizie painfully clung to the open chest hair through his robe. Tears melding their way into his skin.
Almost on instinct, Moxxie made a hopeful glance to Millie. Smiling faltering when he saw her fast asleep in the rocking chair. Snoring softly.
He wished he could be back in bed asleep like his wife. But, the shuddering bundle in his arms held other plans for him.
With Maizie still clinging to him, Moxxie grabbed a seat in the only other chair in the room. His body quickly melting into the worn leather of the love-seat. This bedroom used to be part of their living room, but was walled off soon after Maizie was born. The love-seat was just a dreamy memento of their old lives.  
With a soft huff, Moxxie moved his daughter until she was sitting in his lap. Her weight pressing gently into his chest. Her sobbing had turned into a mild whimpering by now, and it was soothing to Moxxie’s ears. The relief would only last a moment though as he peered at the little imp’s puffy eyes.
Her yellow orbs yearned for comfort, which Moxxie couldn’t supply. Her small hands yanked on her daddy’s robe sleeve. Trying to convey a message she couldn’t communicate. Moxxie merely pet her black and white striped horns. He knew that doing this often calmed her down, much like it calmed him down when Millie did the same thing for him.
It seemed to do the trick. His baby-girl’s whimpers slowly started to cease. Her breathing starting to even out.
Moxxie allowed the brief break to close his eyes. ‘Maybe it was a bad dream’ he wondered. That didn’t make sense though. Maizie had had bad dreams before, and was always soothed with a warm bottle. Tonight seemed to be an outlier though. He deeply wanted to figure out what was wrong with his precious daughter, but was too tired to figure anything out.
The sound of infantile blabbering woke him up from his weak daze. Little Maizie was sucking on her fingers, seemingly over her fit. A small smile stretched its way across Moxxie’s face. Relieved that he could finally go back to sleep.
He lightly tickled his daughter’s belly, eliciting a tiny giggle from the girl.
“Okay sweetheart, I think it’s time to go to bed.”
Maizie kicked her feet, just happy to be in her daddy’s arms. The father smirked alongside his daughter. Cracking his back as his hooves lifted his body off the worn couch.
“Ah,” he sighed, “much better.”
Baby still in his arms, Moxxie lumbered his way over to his daughter’s crib. His plan was to put his daughter to bed, and then wake his wife up, so that they too could fall asleep.  
But, as he was a foot away from the crib, Maizie’s little eyes lit up, and her body started shuddering. Tiny tail lashing back and forth, with intermittent screams littering the air.  
“Uh oh!” was Moxxie’s intelligent reply. Startled, he almost dropped the baby. The screams eventually turning into broken sobs. Rough sounding from the torment she had put her throat through earlier.
Moxxie tried to calm his daughter, afraid of what had set her off again.
She clung to her daddy with all of her strength. Sharp wails emanating from her mouth. Not only from her sudden fear, but also from the searing pain of her unshed tears.
Tiny claws gripped her daddy’s robe, unaware of the mental duress she was putting her father under.
Moxxie knew that this wasn’t good. He was about to wake Millie up for her advice, but was beat to it, when he felt a drowsily dainty hand land on his shoulder.
“Oh Moxxie, she still at it?” The words barely strung together from the sleep deprived Millie.
Moxxie kissed his wife’s forehead worriedly. “I don’t know, Mills. She was calm for a couple minutes, but just when I was about to put her down, she started screaming again!”
Millie’s brow furrowed in thought. She looked at her husband’s pleading stare. And groggily shrugged her shoulders.
“Your guess is as good as mine.”
“I was hoping you wouldn’t say that.”
Millie rubbed her still crying daughter’s back. “Maybe we should take her into our room. The change of scenery should help”
Moxxie was about to agree, when a funny sight caught a hold of his eye. A red object was coming in and out of view under Maizie's crib. Thinking it was some type of toy, Moxxie handed Maizie over to Millie, and went to peek under the crib to turn the annoying toy off.
As Moxxie bent down, his body froze. Staring right into his eyes, were another pair of yellow slitted orbs.
Maizie wasn’t the only one that screamed that night.
Moxxie quickly back peddled on the ground, grasping at Millie’s legs. “GET OUT Y-Y-YOU HEATHEN!” He screeched.
Millie, as confused as she was, was also leery. Afraid of what was under her daughter’s crib. She subconsciously held her child a bit tighter.
Ever so slowly, a tall figure emerged from under the bed.
“Blitzo?” Millie questioned.
“BLITZO!!!!!” Moxxie hollered.
Said imp signed and acknowledged the small family. “Uh...surprise?”
“WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU DOING UNDER MY DAUGHTER’S CRIB!?” Moxxie all but exploded. His voice cracking. Too shell-shocked at his boss’s audacity to even swear properly.
“Well, as you should know. I was trying to do you guys a favor.”
Moxxie was struggling to regain his composure. But was still able to hold a protective stance in front of his family. “What do you mean.” He seethed. More in a statement than a question.
“If you would like to know, I only came over here to record you guys sleepi-”
Millie cut him off. “You recorded us while we were sleeping?” Her southern accent became a bit stronger.
“That’s not important Mills-”
“Uh, I think it is.” Moxxie was the one to interrupt this time.
“I don’t have to explain myself.” Blitzo spat petulantly. Crossing his spindly arms in front of his chest.
Moxxie huffed
“‘S what I thought….anyway. I was recording you guys as you slept. But as I was doing so, I heard your little one start to cry. Neither of you were getting up. So, I took it upon myself to help you both out.”
Millie hugged her daughter, looking at Blitzo questingly. “How’d you get in then?”
“Simple, Mills. Your window was unlocked!”
“That’s creepy.” Moxxie muttered.
Blitzo cut in. “Shut up Moxxie.”
Silence.
“Ok, where was I? Oh, yes! I snuck in and got to your daughter’s room. She looked so pathetic! HA! You should have seen her face!”
“You better continue with this ‘story’, or I’m gonna kick you out.” Millie yelled, getting flustered.
Blitzo’s face took on an apologetic expression. “As I was saying, she was so pathetic, I knew I had to cheer her up! I tried my best anyway. But no matter how many toys I shoved in her face, or weapons I showed her. She just wouldn’t stop crying!”
“That’s not how you take care of babies, Blitzo!” Moxxie blared. “I-I can’t believe you right now!”
“And I couldn’t believe her!” Blitzo countered. “The more I tried to cheer her up, the louder she cried.”
“Blitzo, hun, you can’t wave a toy in front of a child’s face if they are scared. You’ll only upset them more.” Millie’s voice was calmer, now that the shock was starting to wear off.
Maizie was still whimpering on her mother’s side. Not wanting to look at Blitzo. He was the big scary man that upset her so much.
As his wife and boss were talking. Realization dawned on Moxxie. Looking to his baby, still clinging onto Millie, his voice came out without falter.
“Ok Blitzo, I think I finally figured out this whole mess,” He pinched the bridge of his nose, “you clearly upset her with your whole ‘charade.’ But, the one thing I’m still struggling to understand is where you went after Millie got in here.”
“Oh, I hid under your daughter’s bed!”
“YOU WHAT?!” Moxxie screeched rhetorically. He already knew that’s what Blitzo did, but didn’t want to believe it, due to the creepo-factor.
“I said, I hid under your daughter’s crib. But if you should feel bad for anyone, it should be me! It’s cramped under there!”
“...”
“Moxxie?” Millie gently queried.
“...”
“Moxxie. Come on use your voice.”
“Get out.”
“What?”
“GET OUT!” Moxxie screamed. Startling Blitzo so bad that it sent him reeling for the window.
“THE DOOR YOU IDIOT!!!!!”
The sound of hurried hoof-steps, and the slam of the front door signaled that Blitzo had left.
Moxxie slumped to the floor, breathing a sigh of relief.
Counting to ten slowly, he finally was able to assess his surroundings without seeing red. He could see Maizie starting to calm down from another crying episode. No thanks to his outburst. And he could see Millie looking down at him in sympathy.
“I can’t believe him, Mills.”
“I know hun.” She started to pet her husband’s horns with her one free hand. “This is the last straw.”
That was comical coming from Millie’s mouth, Moxxie thought. She usually thought Blitzo’s visits were a fun treat. Not anymore apparently. This had been too much. And to his sleep-deprived mind, he couldn’t find it in him to care about his eruption aimed at Blitzo. He was just happy the creep was gone.
A soft yawn from behind him alerted Moxxie to his tired baby.
“I think she should go to bed. We could all use some rest.”
Millie gave a dry chuckle. “Yeah.”
The mother dried the left-over tears from her child’s face. Rocking her child in her arms, as she plodded her way over to the crib.
Fortunately, Maizie didn’t scream when put in there. She just closed her eyes, and stuck her thumb in her mouth. Already starting to snore.
“This whole fiasco must have tired her out, huh?”
“Yeah.” Millie responded exhaustledy. Swaying on her hooves.
“I think it tired you out too, hun.”
“Yeah.”
Moxxie chuckled, the adrenaline finally starting to wear off. “Let’s go to bed then, ok?”
“Yeah.”
Husband and wife cautiously looked to their baby. Careful to be quiet as to not send their daughter into another fit.
Back in their own bed, the couple shared one last good-night kiss. Falling asleep in each other’s arms, where not even Blitzo could bother them.
The sounds of wailing were what woke Millie that night.
Carefully tugging up her black chemise, Millie maneuvered her body over her husband. In response, Moxxie gave an undignified snort as his wife blearily made her way across their queen sized bed.
Another sob echoed throughout their small bedroom. Effectively waking up the droused Moxxie.
Eyes still crusted over with sleep, he slurred, “Wassa noise?”
“It’s just Maizie, dear.” Millie giggled. “Go back to sleep. I’ll take care of her, love.”
That was all Moxxie needed. Within thirty seconds, he was back to snoring like a donkey. Millie shook her head at her husband's antics. He never really was one for early mornings. Millie, on the other hand, had had years of practice getting up before the crack of dawn. Setting herself up for the perfect kill.
Nowadays, she got up early for different reasons.
Said reason was her and Moxxie’s little imp daughter. Maizie was her name. And crying her horns off, seemed to be her game.
As Millie trudged around the corner to her daughter’s room, the crying seemed to pick up. Almost bursting poor Millie’s ear drums.
‘Curious’ she thought. Usually Maizie calmed down when she sensed her mother’s presence. But no, the imp’s wails only pitched in volume. Making Millie’s trek to her baby’s room a bit faster.
There, in her crib, squirmed Maizie. Her red skin even more flushed from all her howling. Fat tears rolling down her chubby cheeks, blurring the sight of her should-be-comforting mother.
Millie dashed her way over to the cream colored crib on the right side of the room. Lightly shushing her daughter. Petting her hair, and stroking her teary face.
Picking up her little girl didn’t seem to quell the small one’s distress. Nor did the subsequent feeding, diaper changing, or lullaby seem to work. Millie groaned frustratedly from the nearby rocking chair. Not realizing all the noise had effectively woken up her husband.
He came plodding in, seeing the sight of his poor Millie holding his unconsolable child.
The bags under Millie’s eyes gave away that she had been up for a few hours trying to calm Maizie. His daughter looked worse for wear too. Her black and white hair clung pitifully to her pitiful face. Making her look like Hell’s worse grudge impression.
He watched in sympathy as his miserable daughter raised her chubby arms up to him, whimpering to be picked up by her daddy. This caused his heart to melt, making him pick up his baby and give his wife some much needed rest.
“Hey sweetheart,” he began soothingly, “what’s wrong?”
Only heart-wrenching sobs answered him. He sighed, unsure of what to do.
Ever since Maizie was born, Millie had been the one to step up and take charge. She handled most of the diaper changes, tantrums, and midnight check-ups. He guessed it was because Millie was the one who wanted a child more than anything. They had tried for months to get pregnant. But once they finally did, Millie’s personality changed almost overnight. She was much more “motherly” in a sense. Even becoming docile to Loona.
Moxxie had wanted kids too, just not as much as his wife.
But once little Maizie came into the picture, he (normally) couldn’t think of his life without her. Except for moments like this. He hated to admit he had those thoughts, but sometimes Moxxie daydreamed about the quiet nights he and Millie once shared. And the days when his nostrils weren’t constantly filled with the scent of dirty diapers.
Alas, those days were behind him. Now, he had to man up and be the best father he could be for his little girl. And that included right now.
As he was brought out of his reverie, he flinched as Maizie painfully clung to the open chest hair through his robe. Tears melding their way into his skin.
Almost on instinct, Moxxie made a hopeful glance to Millie. Smiling faltering when he saw her fast asleep in the rocking chair. Snoring softly.
He wished he could be back in bed asleep like his wife. But, the shuddering bundle in his arms held other plans for him.
With Maizie still clinging to him, Moxxie grabbed a seat in the only other chair in the room. His body quickly melting into the worn leather of the love-seat. This bedroom used to be part of their living room, but was walled off soon after Maizie was born. The love-seat was just a dreamy memento of their old lives.  
With a soft huff, Moxxie moved his daughter until she was sitting in his lap. Her weight pressing gently into his chest. Her sobbing had turned into a mild whimpering by now, and it was soothing to Moxxie’s ears. The relief would only last a moment though as he peered at the little imp’s puffy eyes.
Her yellow orbs yearned for comfort, which Moxxie couldn’t supply. Her small hands yanked on her daddy’s robe sleeve. Trying to convey a message she couldn’t communicate. Moxxie merely pet her black and white striped horns. He knew that doing this often calmed her down, much like it calmed him down when Millie did the same thing for him.
It seemed to do the trick. His baby-girl’s whimpers slowly started to cease. Her breathing starting to even out.
Moxxie allowed the brief break to close his eyes. ‘Maybe it was a bad dream’ he wondered. That didn’t make sense though. Maizie had had bad dreams before, and was always soothed with a warm bottle. Tonight seemed to be an outlier though. He deeply wanted to figure out what was wrong with his precious daughter, but was too tired to figure anything out.
The sound of infantile blabbering woke him up from his weak daze. Little Maizie was sucking on her fingers, seemingly over her fit. A small smile stretched its way across Moxxie’s face. Relieved that he could finally go back to sleep.
He lightly tickled his daughter’s belly, eliciting a tiny giggle from the girl.
“Okay sweetheart, I think it’s time to go to bed.”
Maizie kicked her feet, just happy to be in her daddy’s arms. The father smirked alongside his daughter. Cracking his back as his hooves lifted his body off the worn couch.
“Ah,” he sighed, “much better.”
Baby still in his arms, Moxxie lumbered his way over to his daughter’s crib. His plan was to put his daughter to bed, and then wake his wife up, so that they too could fall asleep.  
But, as he was a foot away from the crib, Maizie’s little eyes lit up, and her body started shuddering. Tiny tail lashing back and forth, with intermittent screams littering the air.  
“Uh oh!” was Moxxie’s intelligent reply. Startled, he almost dropped the baby. The screams eventually turning into broken sobs. Rough sounding from the torment she had put her throat through earlier.
Moxxie tried to calm his daughter, afraid of what had set her off again.
She clung to her daddy with all of her strength. Sharp wails emanating from her mouth. Not only from her sudden fear, but also from the searing pain of her unshed tears.
Tiny claws gripped her daddy’s robe, unaware of the mental duress she was putting her father under.
Moxxie knew that this wasn’t good. He was about to wake Millie up for her advice, but was beat to it, when he felt a drowsily dainty hand land on his shoulder.
“Oh Moxxie, she still at it?” The words barely strung together from the sleep deprived Millie.
Moxxie kissed his wife’s forehead worriedly. “I don’t know, Mills. She was calm for a couple minutes, but just when I was about to put her down, she started screaming again!”
Millie’s brow furrowed in thought. She looked at her husband’s pleading stare. And groggily shrugged her shoulders.
“Your guess is as good as mine.”
“I was hoping you wouldn’t say that.”
Millie rubbed her still crying daughter’s back. “Maybe we should take her into our room. The change of scenery should help”
Moxxie was about to agree, when a funny sight caught a hold of his eye. A red object was coming in and out of view under Maizie's crib. Thinking it was some type of toy, Moxxie handed Maizie over to Millie, and went to peek under the crib to turn the annoying toy off.
As Moxxie bent down, his body froze. Staring right into his eyes, were another pair of yellow slitted orbs.
Maizie wasn’t the only one that screamed that night.
Moxxie quickly back peddled on the ground, grasping at Millie’s legs. “GET OUT Y-Y-YOU HEATHEN!” He screeched.
Millie, as confused as she was, was also leery. Afraid of what was under her daughter’s crib. She subconsciously held her child a bit tighter.
Ever so slowly, a tall figure emerged from under the bed.
“Blitzo?” Millie questioned.
“BLITZO!!!!!” Moxxie hollered.
Said imp signed and acknowledged the small family. “Uh...surprise?”
“WHAT THE HECK WERE YOU DOING UNDER MY DAUGHTER’S CRIB!?” Moxxie all but exploded. His voice cracking. Too shell-shocked at his boss’s audacity to even swear properly.
“Well, as you should know. I was trying to do you guys a favor.”
Moxxie was struggling to regain his composure. But was still able to hold a protective stance in front of his family. “What do you mean.” He seethed. More in a statement than a question.
“If you would like to know, I only came over here to record you guys sleepi-”
Millie cut him off. “You recorded us while we were sleeping?” Her southern accent became a bit stronger.
“That’s not important Mills-”
“Uh, I think it is.” Moxxie was the one to interrupt this time.
“I don’t have to explain myself.” Blitzo spat petulantly. Crossing his spindly arms in front of his chest.
Moxxie huffed
“‘S what I thought….anyway. I was recording you guys as you slept. But as I was doing so, I heard your little one start to cry. Neither of you were getting up. So, I took it upon myself to help you both out.”
Millie hugged her daughter, looking at Blitzo questingly. “How’d you get in then?”
“Simple, Mills. Your window was unlocked!”
“That’s creepy.” Moxxie muttered.
Blitzo cut in. “Shut up Moxxie.”
Silence.
“Ok, where was I? Oh, yes! I snuck in and got to your daughter’s room. She looked so pathetic! HA! You should have seen her face!”
“You better continue with this ‘story’, or I’m gonna kick you out.” Millie yelled, getting flustered.
Blitzo’s face took on an apologetic expression. “As I was saying, she was so pathetic, I knew I had to cheer her up! I tried my best anyway. But no matter how many toys I shoved in her face, or weapons I showed her. She just wouldn’t stop crying!”
“That’s not how you take care of babies, Blitzo!” Moxxie blared. “I-I can’t believe you right now!”
“And I couldn’t believe her!” Blitzo countered. “The more I tried to cheer her up, the louder she cried.”
“Blitzo, hun, you can’t wave a toy in front of a child’s face if they are scared. You’ll only upset them more.” Millie’s voice was calmer, now that the shock was starting to wear off.
Maizie was still whimpering on her mother’s side. Not wanting to look at Blitzo. He was the big scary man that upset her so much.
As his wife and boss were talking. Realization dawned on Moxxie. Looking to his baby, still clinging onto Millie, his voice came out without falter.
“Ok Blitzo, I think I finally figured out this whole mess,” He pinched the bridge of his nose, “you clearly upset her with your whole ‘charade.’ But, the one thing I’m still struggling to understand is where you went after Millie got in here.”
“Oh, I hid under your daughter’s bed!”
“YOU WHAT?!” Moxxie screeched rhetorically. He already knew that’s what Blitzo did, but didn’t want to believe it, due to the creepo-factor.
“I said, I hid under your daughter’s crib. But if you should feel bad for anyone, it should be me! It’s cramped under there!”
“...”
“Moxxie?” Millie gently queried.
“...”
“Moxxie. Come on use your voice.”
“Get out.”
“What?”
“GET OUT!” Moxxie screamed. Startling Blitzo so bad that it sent him reeling for the window.
“THE DOOR YOU IDIOT!!!!!”
The sound of hurried hoof-steps, and the slam of the front door signaled that Blitzo had left.
Moxxie slumped to the floor, breathing a sigh of relief.
Counting to ten slowly, he finally was able to assess his surroundings without seeing red. He could see Maizie starting to calm down from another crying episode. No thanks to his outburst. And he could see Millie looking down at him in sympathy.
“I can’t believe him, Mills.”
“I know hun.” She started to pet her husband’s horns with her one free hand. “This is the last straw.”
That was comical coming from Millie’s mouth, Moxxie thought. She usually thought Blitzo’s visits were a fun treat. Not anymore apparently. This had been too much. And to his sleep-deprived mind, he couldn’t find it in him to care about his eruption aimed at Blitzo. He was just happy the creep was gone.
A soft yawn from behind him alerted Moxxie to his tired baby.
“I think she should go to bed. We could all use some rest.”
Millie gave a dry chuckle. “Yeah.”
The mother dried the left-over tears from her child’s face. Rocking her child in her arms, as she plodded her way over to the crib.
Fortunately, Maizie didn’t scream when put in there. She just closed her eyes, and stuck her thumb in her mouth. Already starting to snore.
“This whole fiasco must have tired her out, huh?”
“Yeah.” Millie responded exhaustledy. Swaying on her hooves.
“I think it tired you out too, hun.”
“Yeah.”
Moxxie chuckled, the adrenaline finally starting to wear off. “Let’s go to bed then, ok?”
“Yeah.”
Husband and wife cautiously looked to their baby. Careful to be quiet as to not send their daughter into another fit.
Back in their own bed, the couple shared one last good-night kiss. Falling asleep in each other’s arms, where not even Blitzo could bother them.
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It's Christmas Eve, Ben's on a business trip and Rey is the best at giving presents.
Hidden Moments by Anonymous for apisa_b
Prompt 1: Post TLJ Rey and Kylo / Ben find a way to meet in person and sort out their feelings and differences without the danger of being cut off mid-sentence (or mid kiss), like it has frequently happened during their Force bond sessions. Prompt 2: Post TLJ – a chance meeting at an unexpected place. This story combines these two prompts.
Reverie by Anonymous for ArdeaJestin
Reverie: a state of being pleasantly lost in one's thoughts; a daydream. "You—you are inspired by your students. The women, or… one in particular. That's what they say." A low hum sounded from behind her, alerting at his sudden proximity as a large hand reached past her shoulder, brushing at her jaw—long fingers pushing lightly to urge her neck to the right. With a loud exhale, she followed the motion, taking in the haze of blue; illuminated by the ever-bright moon, skimming at the lake's surface with a breathtaking shimmer. "See that? There is my inspiration." His lips were gentle at her ear in contrast to the warm hands at her shoulders, gripping tight to manoeuvre her body around swiftly, suddenly confronted with the image of herself. Flushed cheeks, hair unravelled, body shapeless and thin. "And this too." One hand drifted from her shoulder, down her arm to wrap around her own, guiding it up and across to her opposite side, tugging her back flush to his front as his head dropped to the exposed expanse of her neck. "Never listen to what they say—I'll tell you all you need to know, my sweet." With Mr. Benjamin Solo, Rey always felt stuck in a nightmare. Or maybe it was a daydream.
all true lovers are by Anonymous for asimbelmyne
She might seem lonely, but Ben can sense that this forest is her faithful audience, and she is nothing but alone. The birds chirp a symphony to her, and the greenery around her bows, grateful to be blessed by her beauty. She truly is beautiful, but that’s not the entire reason he is so drawn to her. It’s her Magic.
lightning through my teeth by Anonymous for below_the_starry_clusters_bright
“Always running, little Jedi?” he panted hot in her ear, the leather of his glove creaking under her jaw. She froze, lips parting with her hitched breath. His thumb swiped down her cheek, wiping away a drop of sweat, and she squirmed in his arms until his fingers dug in deeper. “I finally have you,” he said, equal parts smug and awestruck. A few steps forward to the wall, and she had to throw out her palms to brace herself on the cold stone. His firm heat behind her shifted, thighs pushing into the back of hers as he held her tight. She took a side step for balance, and he took advantage, slipping a firm thigh between her legs to wedge them open.“You like to run,” he whispered as his long nose brushed through her hair, “but maybe you also like to be caught.” What do you call a game of chase when both people are the hunters? When deep down, both want to get caught?
Diyari by Anonymous for Biekewieke
“You stay on your side of this line,” she instructed her towering traveling companion and the stick jabbed the ground. It was a warning jab. Ben knew the next one could take his eye out.“But the shade is on your side.”“But the shade is on your side,” Rey mimicked in a whine. “Deal with it Princess, you can pick another rock. I don’t want you near me right now,” she added angrily and walked away leaving him with arms tightly folded.
Her smile, in the light of the dawn of the menacing sky. by Anonymous for bitterbones
Kylo stands, still clutching one of his boots, as Rey covers her face and coughs. She is on her side, under a threadbare blanket, and Kylo feels a useless wish to drape her in silks. Her hair is matted, and he regrets never brushing and braiding it for her. Her eyes are dim, and he remembers watching them sparkle up at him in the flickering lights of a turbolift.
Elements of Control by Anonymous for bittersnake
In a world where men wield magic and women wield power, the advent of an Earth witch holds the key to victory of Fire and Air over Water.  But when Fire mage Kylo Ren finds that the new witch is female, his hunger for power is set against his instinct to submit.
Caffa and Crystals by Anonymous for Bombastique
Kylo's off not doing his job *again*- Why is the ever important Master of the Knights of Ren heading to a planet like Gatalenta? It couldn't have anything to do with the cute barista from that one time... In which Kylo and Rey have a long distance relationship
Talking Solo by Anonymous for briony_larkin
After always having been a wallflower, Rey suddenly starts getting attention from one of the school's most popular guys: Kylo Ren. At least, if that's what you can call his repeated insults. By the Force, what does he want from her?
All Tangled Up In Obligations by Anonymous for CadomirBane
Senator Ben Organa falls ill and his Jedi bodyguard Rey has to take care of him, becoming his nurse. When he feels better again, she helps bring to life on of his most secret fantasies.
A soft epilogue by Anonymous for CajunSpice714
The return of the Duke of Alderaan incited all manner of gossip and speculation.
Reckless by Anonymous for Cataclyzmic
There was something about Kylo Ren that made Rey feel reckless. or Who knew that hating the person you were sleeping with wasn't an effective birth control?
In Our Silence, Volumes by Anonymous for Ceallaigh
When Rey senses through their Force Bond that Ben is in trouble, she'll stop at nothing to get to him. But what if he's not ready to be rescued from himself? Post-TLJ.
First Contact by Anonymous for Chthonia
So Rey had crash landed on the very first world she’d been posted to. Finn would laugh himself sick when she told him—if she ever saw him again. This was not how her first mission was supposed to go. Something about this planet felt strangely familiar, though, and so did the mysterious alien in a dark cloak who found her...
Call Me By Her Name by Anonymous for crossingwinter
Rey hooks up with a guy on Tinder. He calls her by his ex’s name when they have sex. Then she meets his parents.
cause i'm gonna make this place your home by Anonymous for crunchy
“I promise you, one day, when this war is over, I will take you to see the most beautiful planets in the galaxy.” Two years later, Kylo makes good on his promise to Rey. Together, they take a holiday journeying planets all around the galaxy.
Deprived by Anonymous for Crysania
Kylo Ren is projecting and Rey, too exhausted to keep their bond shut, has to find a way to get some sleep. Comforting the Supreme Leader of the First Order was never in her plans but little of her interactions with Ben Solo are ever planned.
lay then the axe to the root by Anonymous for crystanagahori
“And you? Are you beholden to the estate?” It is an insolent question for a governess to ask a Duke. “I—” He considers it. “I am the heir. I cannot be anything else.” “I believe Mr Burke has strong views on inheritance.” Miss Nima smooths her palm across the book binding, thinks a moment. “You sound beholden.”
A Vision of You by Anonymous for cuddlesome
Rey feels what he feels. The monster in the mask. Until he's not a monster anymore.
The Paradox of Not Giving In by Anonymous for Dalzo
Rey is being brought under the care of Doctor Solo for a broken wrist and mild concussion. Being half-conscious most of the time during the treatment, she accidentally scents her doctor. Since then, she can't stop thinking about him. But does he experience the same thing?
laugh! by Anonymous for dancingpenguin57
Rey realizes she’s never heard Ben laugh and tries to make it happen
The Set-up by Anonymous for dearly
Ben Solo has aways been socially awkward, but when he sets his sights on his brother Poe's fiance Finn's bestfriend Rey during an engagment party Poe decided that he and Finn need to divise a plan to set the two of them up if not for the sake of his and Finn's future wedding then for the sake of their own sanity.
Yes, To All Of It by Anonymous for Elywyngirlie
After Crait, Rey and Kylo each struggle to forget the love they let slip through their fingers. Their Force Bond has other plans.
And I wish that you were here by Anonymous for emiliavioletta
Feeling torn she wishes her stupid car hadn’t broke down. She wishes the snow hadn’t been so bad, but mostly she wishes Ben would stop smiling at her like that.
through the burning night by Anonymous for flypaper_brain
Rey takes a wrong turn on the way back from Yule celebrations and ends up somewhere she doesn't expect with a stranger. Snow falls hard around them, and she's not sure of the way home. Allow there was never known before such a love as mine for her there lives not, never did, nor will, one who more gravely stole my love Do not torment me, lady Let our purposes agree You are my spouse on this Fair Plain so let us embrace
Matchless by Anonymous for Greyrey-lo
Rey and Ben are sweet on each other, but they are hopeless. Luckily their friends Steve and Bucky are there to help.
Stay by Anonymous for hipgrab
Ben opens his mouth to tell her goodnight, but before he can get out the words, Rey says, very quickly: “You should come with us.” His heart stops beating. “Um.” He runs a hand through his hair. He can’t have heard her right. “What?” “A... bunch of us are going.” She smiles at him; he can feel that smile all the way down to his toes. “From work. It should be fun.” (In which Ben comes along on a weekend trip, only to find out there aren't enough hotel rooms. Or beds.)
Crawling Across the Great Divide by Anonymous for Hormonal_Trashbag
Ben had barely reached the last syllable of the phrase when someone pounded on the back door of the apartment. All the tension of the spell dissipated in an instant, rushing away from him like a receding tide and taking both the candle flames and the kitchen lights with it. "Fuck!" Ben stomped over, flicking on the exterior light and unlocking the door without looking outside. "Dad, I told you, I don't want your-" His embarrassingly petulant whine ground to a halt when he realized who was on the other side of the screen door. "You're not Dad." The woman standing on his tiny porch-slash-balcony smiled, dimples popping in her cheeks. "No."
Garden of Light and Darkness by Anonymous for incognitajones
When Lord Mellowyn of Birren dies without an heir, the governorship passes on to his closest relative, Leia Organa. Yet she decides to cede it to her own son instead, in the hopes that it will give him the political acumen he so desperately needs. Determined to prove himself and bring young blood to the tranquil, aging planet, Ben Solo decides to recruit members for his new guard on Jakku, where his father fell in battle years before...
When You're Ready by Anonymous for inthegrayworld
What do they have to offer each other, now that they're no longer at war?
A Song of Darkness and Light by Anonymous for invisibleworld
The events of the Last Jedi, except in a Game of Thrones world. So, more fucking.
perfect hallucination by Anonymous for ishie
A year had almost passed since 'The Great Self-Destruct' that lay waste to the First Order and with it, the likely death of Kylo Ren. As far as Ben was concerned, the galaxy could continue to believe he was dead. Besides, it was only a matter of time before it came true. The icy curse placed upon him would slowly take his heart and with it, his life. It was the price he had to pay to end the First Order. He didn't care. In fact, he deserved it. After banishing himself to the furthest corner of the galaxy, he patiently waited to see his final days. However, after his bond with Rey flared to life at the most inopportune time, waiting for his end on a deserted planet was no longer as simple as it seemed...
it's a date by Anonymous for Jeeno2
It takes Rey approximately half an hour to realize that they’re on a date.
Silver and Gold by Anonymous for kathime
She thought she could show him a thing or two, Kylo Ren, general editor and general terror of Haute Couture. She didn't realize that he would show her his heart.
The Repatriationists by Anonymous for kereia
Rey has become involved with an underground group that returns cultural objects to their peoples of origin. She pulls in Ben Solo, her on again / off again lover, to help with their latest job.
The Burning Ritual by Anonymous for kuresoto
Luke Skywalker has two main rules for his coven: 1) keep magic secret, and 2) no mortal/witch relations. When modern witch, Rey Niima, performs magic in the presence of her mortal neighbor Kylo Ren, she worries she’s broken the first rule and put the whole coven at risk. The second rule, she’s been daydreaming about breaking for months. She can’t help it when Kylo is so hot and nerdy and utterly endearing. With one rule potentially broke, what’s one more?
The Tale of Blue Ben by Anonymous for La_Catrina
Some escaped goats and a chance encounter land Rey in the middle of a fairy tale. She is the happy ending. And she is not alone.
Fabula by Anonymous for leoba
For a school report, Rey and Ben are assigned to dissect the myth of the youngest Sky Walkers.
Angel of Mercy by Anonymous for Like_A_Dove
Rey’s stubborn denial about how sick she is leaved her stranded in her apartment with no food, no medicine, no available friends. After breaking up with Ben Solo, she’d sworn she would never speak to him again. She’s only calling him because she has no one else to turn to. Kylo Ren has more important things to do than moon over lost love. He’s fighting to reform the mission and recover the reputation of the think tank his grandfather once headed. So when he answers Rey’s call, he’s only indulging idle curiosity. And when he rushes to Rey’s side, he’s just helping a fellow human being and maybe anticipating some light gloating. Just normal stuff, really.
Love in the Language of Sweaters by Anonymous for LilibethSonar
Corporate executive Ben Solo is a consummate professional and is always concerned about maintaining the reputation of himself and his company. Never in a million years would he even consider participating in the ridiculous holiday abomination that is Ugly Sweater Month, no matter how much nagging he gets from his coworker Poe. That is, until he runs into his building’s charming, intelligent and eye-meltingly beautiful delivery girl, who also happens to wear the most revolting holiday sweaters he's ever seen.
Temporary Allies by Anonymous for Lizardbeth
After an intense battle, Rey and Kylo end up stranded on an uncharted planet in the outer rim. While they wait to be rescued, they must survive together.
The unfamiliar language of your silent glances by Anonymous for LueurdeLaube
Her memories of their last conversation, such as it was, were blurry, details drained from her brain along with adrenalin. How did Ben sound when he asked her…? Was his fear for her a figment of her imagination — or was it real? “I expected to find your body,” Ben complained, voice like the frozen ground under their feet. Nevermind.
Met You in the Falling Rain by Anonymous for Lulubellisima
While Rey is backpacking through Spain, she gets caught in torrential rain. Ben offers her shelter.
Scrooged at Crossroads by Anonymous for MeadowHayle
Kylo Ren is workaholic Grinch with anger management issues - until his life is changed by falling in love and being visited by a ghost.
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adiabolikpastel · 6 months
Note
Halloween is just around the corner, what do Skye, Yuuki, Rose, Calli, Yuki, Yukio, Kanaye and Rini plan to do to celebrate? 🎃 Do you have any headcanons of how they might celebrate Halloween at the Makai?
Sweet Patient Lovely Anon - I am so sorry that I have taken so long to reply to your ask. Things have been so busy for me lately, that I have just not had to time, but I thank you so much for asking and for being patient while I get it all together.
In the past I have done quite a bit of things for Halloween:
All Hallows Eve | Choosing Costumes Spooky Ask 1 \ 2 \ 3 \ 4 \ 5 The Fullest Moon Writing Prompts 1 \ 2 \ 3 Past Halloweens 1 \ 2
The blog has grown so much in characters over the years ~ So allow me to give you the 2023 Halloween Agenda! Full answer under the cut, enjoy!
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[Tormented Reverie]
Yuuki
Per usual, Kanato & Yuuki love to dress up, and this year they thought it would be 'funny' to go as Dracula and his Bride. During this time Yuuki would be 4 months pregnant -as explained on her birthday. So, this Halloween would have been rather different from what either of them are used to.
Normally they would go out and get lots of candy, but this year Yuuki just wasn't up for it, which bothered Kanato. She ends up getting sick from all the sweets, and it doesn't end up being a very good night.
Yuki
I think by now Laito and Yuki would have been a 'thing' for a few years now - and still nothing official. Keeping with my addiction to 18+ Disney from last year, I would love to see them as Hook and Tinker Bell. I can see Laito parading him around to multiple human parties, before giving him a break back home. It's been long enough that I think he would allow Yuki a cuddle over a scary movie.
[Tormented Reverie: Another Daydream]
Kanaye
Isabella is definitely feeling the pumpkin head vibes this year. So she planned an entire photo shoot for her and Kanaye to do cute Pumpkin head photos. Taking a few Polaroids for her own collection as well. No parties this year for them, instead Isabella took it upon herself to educate Kanaye about the classic Halloween Movies, since has no idea what any of them are. It's a sweet and cozy night, complete with loads of decorated snacks and lots of cuddles.
Yukio
Ever the people person, Yukio drags Silas to rave after rave. He dressed the two of them up as Cruella Deville and a Dalmatian - Silas being the dog on a lease of course. While Yukio would entertain people for hours, Silas has a very small social battery. After having a talk about dragging him around last year - Yukio was supposed to stop after a certain time. Of course, he doesn't and Silas ends up ditching him.
The half-vampire does this to find peace with his less intense friends, only to have Yukio calling and texting him non-stop. Eventually, Yukio shows up to retrieve Silas, which starts a fight, which leads to a whole thing ... but ultimately leads to them in bed and the toxic cycle continues.
Rini
Not surprisingly, Kanato has planned another adorable father-daughter outfit for the two of them. While her brothers are off galavanting, Rini is taken with her parents to the Hallows Eve activities in the Makai. There she is paraded around by Kanato, who ensures that she is given extra sweets ... but Rini doesn't like sweets the same way her parents do.
While at the festivities, Yuuki doesn't interact with her much, spending most of the night entertaining the adults. Rini's night concludes with Kanato finally dismissing her off to bed with Yuuki. Her mother walks with her off to her room, tucks her in, gives her a hollow kiss on the forehead, and wishes her spooky dreams. While snuggled up with Bunny, Rini can hear the echos of the party, left wondering when she would be able to leave this place as her brothers have.
[Excruciating Duplicity]
Skye
Same as last year, Halloween is pretty much his night off - Skye loves to turn up. He has a reputation for making appearances in his full siren glory, becoming quite popular at Drag Shows, and that is something he plans to continue. Karl does expect him to perform duties to help with any festivities in the Makai, but on actual Halloween, he has the night off.
This year, things got rather spicy as a masked man approached Skye during one of his performances. It was strange that security didn't stop him, and the audience thought it was part of the act. The stranger completely altered Skye's routine, turning it into something steamer than what was normally allowed. It wasn't until the two dragged themselves off stage, breathless and wanting, that he recognized the stranger's eyes. This would be the first time Karl came to one of his shows, and the first time the two would hook up in a human world bathroom.
Rose
As the personal attending maid of the Demon King, Rose's schedule around this time of year is full. For as much as Burai had on his plate, Rose shared in every bit of it. Planning festivities for the Vibora common people, celebrations for nobility, rituals for the Makai as a whole - the Demon King has much on his plate, and as his personal Lupine, Rose was to be there for all of it.
Of course with all of this comes extra stress, and Burai makes good use of of his maid - at all hours of the day and night. Whether it's picking out his outfit for a meeting, or wearing it herself afterward, Rose experiences her true first Hallows Eve. However once it has passed, Burai does give her a few days off to recover.
Callista
Ah the glorious time of the year, when all the people of the Makai are able to be themselves among mortals. While living with her parents, Calli used to love letting her wings out and aweing the local humans with her 'master craftsmanship'. This year however, she would be spending it with her fiance - who was not the celebratory type. Despite her efforts to engage with him, Shu did not find the holiday as fun as she did but he did not stop her from indulging and decorating the mansion as she wished.
This is where Reiji, the ever-tidy, comes in. While instructing the spiders to weave webs across the mansion ceilings, the younger brother questioned her logic in creating such messes. The two exchanged in a debate of ideals, and wound up in front of Shu with the ultimate decision - as it was his house. The older vampire simply smirked and chuckled at the two, commenting that the bickering of children takes him back to when all the brothers lived together.
He would give each of them a pat on the head and say they would celebrate together. Reiji needs to loosen up, and Callista shouldn't make such a mess. Shu indulges in Callista's request for them to dress up together - the three of them - and when the night comes for the Hallows Eve ball, the two of them escort her. She dressed as a Belle from Beauty and the Beast - and the two of them as Lumiere and Cogsworth.
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sodalester · 7 years
Text
Sunshine
summary: a grumpy!dan and sunshine!phil fic in which dan totally doesn’t have a crush on phil. not at all
genre: fluff
warnings: eh food mention?
word count: 4.1k
A/N: thanks @botanistlester for screaming enthusiastically about the idea and making me want to write it. it’s so cute i’m dying. also we are all louise in this fic 
Dan couldn’t stand his co worker. He was too cheerful for having to get up at 5AM every weekday. His co worker, Phil, always made sure to greet everyone at work with a huge smile and a sunny aura to him. What was even more annoying was that he always specifically went out of his way to greet Dan. Dan would rather not deal with such a bright smile so early along with an onslaught of questions.
“How was your breakfast? Did you remember to eat this time?”
“Did you say hi to your kitten for me?”
“Have you tried the new restaurant downtown? We could go together sometime.”
Dan merely grumbled back answers, storming over to his cubicle (Yes, he worked an office job at the ripe age of 26. He hated his life).
Phil never gave up, though, always smiling and talking animatedly about his morning. Sometimes, he even brought Dan a baked good. He always gave Dan a (definitely not cute) little wave before practically skipping off to his own cubicle. Dan would mumble something incoherent, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as the sunshine left his presence.
Dan thought he was annoying. Louise concluded that Dan had a crush on Phil.
“I do not have a ‘crush’” Dan emphasized, “on Phil.”
The two were sitting at lunch, Louise having told Dan her revelation after watching the two interact that morning.
Louise smirked. “You can’t go a single lunch break without talking about him. Even if you’re complaining the entire time about how his smile is ‘too bright’ or how his eyes have ‘too many colors’.” She looked down at the cupcake Dan was unwrapping. “And who did you get that cupcake from?”
Dan frowned at the cupcake. It was his favorite type, chocolate, with a ridiculous amount of pink icing on it. Phil had given it to him that morning, rambling on about something involving a new cupcake shop. Dan wasn’t paying much attention to what Phil was saying, too distracted by the cupcake itself.
Dan muttered a soft “fuck you” at Louise, taking another bite of the cupcake. The icing was sure to give him diabetes.
Louise rolled her eyes, but didn’t comment. They were gossiping about their boss when Phil approached the table.
“Mind if I join you guys?” He looked at Dan, asking him for permission. He knew Louise wouldn’t mind.
Dan sighed. “Fine,” he grumbled. Phil’s face lit up and Dan ignored the butterflies that fluttered happily in his tummy. He sat close to Dan, much to Louise’s amusement.
“You’re eating the cupcake I gave you?” Phil asked, shocked.
Dan shrugged. “I always eat the food you give me at lunch.” He didn’t notice the way Phil’s cheeks turned a pleasant pink.
“I-I thought you always threw them away.”
“Why would I do that? I’m not a jackass.” He looked at Phil, confused. Who did he take Dan as? Sure, he came off as rude or blunt, but Dan was no jerk.
Phil didn’t say anything, but he took a bite of his sandwich to hide the big smile on his face.
The three of them chatted aimlessly about everything from Louise’s baby to the guy in their cubicle who was definitely an ex monster truck driver (“Phil how did you even come up with all this evidence? And how does this relate to him being a monster truck driver?” “He makes a strong point, Dan.” “Don’t encourage him-”).
Louise ended up leaving early, claiming to have “files” to get to. She sent an unsubtle wink and Dan internally murdered her in that moment. Phil remained clueless next to him, waving her farewell enthusiastically.
“So Danny boy,” Phil started, grinning in amusement as Dan cringed.
“Haven’t I told you not to call me that?”
Phil shrugged innocently. “Do you have any plans for this weekend?”
Dan shook his head. “Unless you count marathoning the Great British Bakeoff for four hours with Mittens a plan then I’m totally free. Why? You planning on inviting me to something?”
Phil was quick to answer. “Nope! No plans here. Simple small talk, that’s all.”
Dan glared at him, but didn’t push it; he’d find out sooner or later anyway. Phil could never keep a secret from Dan long.
Dan waited until Phil finished his lunch to leave (he was staying only to be polite, not because he liked listening to Phil talk. nope, not at all). They departed ways once they were back on their floor, Phil working on the opposite side of the where Dan’s cubicle was.
Dan walked back to his own cubicle, not looking forward to being bored to death with his lame ass job, where Louise was waiting for him. He jumped when he noticed her, causing her to burst into hysterical laughter.
“How did your lunch date go?” Louise teased.
Dan clutched his chest, gasping for breath. “Louise!”
Louise, being the terrible friend that she was, laughed harder.
Dan scowled. “It wasn’t a date, Louise. We eat together everyday. Don’t you have work to do?”
“I do, but tormenting you seemed like more fun.”
Dan sighed, sitting down in his desk chair. Louise was going to be the death of him.
“When are you finally going to ask him out?”
“I’m not going to ask him out. He’s annoying and immature.”
Louise rolled her eyes. “You’re just a grouch. I guess you’ll have to wait for him to make the move.” She patted Dan’s hair, ignoring the cold glare she was receiving.
“How many times do I have to say it: I don’t want to date Phil Lester.”
Louise sighed. “You’re not fooling me, Dan. You’re so obviously in love with him that everyone but you can see it.”
Dan stuttered, feeling his cheeks heat up unwillingly. “S-shut up.”
Louise laughed, messing up Dan’s meticulously straightened hair before turning and finally heading to leave.
“Good luck wooing your man! Shouldn’t be too hard, considering he likes you back.”
Dan threw a pen at her, making her quickly scuttle away, her laughter trailing after her.
He did not have a crush on Phil, he reassured himself. His heart didn’t flutter excitedly whenever he saw him nor did those magical butterflies appear in his tummy.
Satisfied with his reassurances, Dan returned to his work, avoiding any suspicious daydreams of a blue-eyed man.
-
Phil was staring at him. So was everyone else, but Phil’s stare was much more intense.
Dan didn’t understand what the big deal was. He simply didn’t feel like straightening his hair that morning. Besides, with his new haircut, his curls actually looked pretty good.
To everyone else, it was the biggest thing happening in the office.
“I never knew your hair was curly,” Phil commented once he got over the initial shock of it.
“Yeah, it’s a rat’s nest, I know,” Dan scoffed. Phil didn’t like them. He felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment, he should have straightened them, he looked awful-
“I like it.” Phil reached up and played with a loose curl, admiring how soft and fluffy his hair was.
Dan was the color of tomatoes now. His heart was beating too fast to be normal. “T-thanks.”
Phil smiled softly at him, knowing how self conscious Dan really was about his curly hair. “You should leave it curly more often.”
Dan nodded numbly in agreement, too dazed from the initial complement to argue.
He was still rather dazed when he sat down in his cubicle, a coffee mug at his desk and mind replaying the feeling of Phil playing with his hair.
“Earth to Dan.”
Dan snapped out of his reverie, turning to see Louise at the entrance of his cubicle as usual. She was staring at him, an eyebrow raised with suspicion. Dan hadn’t sought her out to complain about how Phil had too bright of a smile for the morning.
“What’s got you so spaced out this morning? I said your name like five times and you didn’t respond.”
Dan shrugged, making Louise sigh with annoyance. He was never an easy person to get information out of.
“Where’s your usual ‘go away, Louise’ or ‘I hate this job’? Are you sick?”
Dan shrugged again. “I’m having a good morning, I guess.”
This only made Louise more suspicious and concerned. Daniel Howell never had a good morning. He was always complaining, grouchy about having to wake up at the unholy hour of 5AM to get to his job. She went with her first suspicion, the only person who ever got Dan out of his slump. “Does it have to do with something Phil did?”
“No,” Dan snapped, too fast to be believable. It didn’t help that his cheeks turned red at the thought of Phil and the less-than-straight thoughts he had been having before Louise interrupted.
Louise gave him a knowing smirk. “Deny it all you want, but we both know Phil had a part in making you less grumpy this morning. It’s kind of obvious from the way you’re blushing.”
“You’re awful, I hate you.” Dan crossed his arms, back to his normal grumpy self.
Louise merely laughed. “There’s the Dan I know. Always hiding his love behind cruel words and adorable pouts.”
Dan groaned, embarrassed. He was very manly, thank-you-very-much. The manliness man of all. “Why is it that every time you come to my cubicle you end up tormenting me?”
Louise gave him a wink, pushing back a strand of hair behind her ear. “Because you love it.”
Dan gave her a glare, though he did have a slight smile on his face. “Sure I do. Are you going to let me work now?”
“I suppose I should.” She leaned over and ruffled his hair, making him squawk in offense. “I’ll see you at lunch break then, loverboy.”
Dan sighed, burying his head in his hands. He loved Louise, but sometimes she was a bit overwhelming.
His day carried on in the same usual routine that it always did: boring paperwork, a break in which he definitely didn’t spend longing for Phil to show up, more paperwork, lunch, and then back to the paperwork. Dan hated his job.
When he had graduated, Dan dreamed of an exciting career. Sure, it would take him some time as he was fresh out of university, but he imagined himself well on his way to producing short films in a couple of years. Instead, he was stuck at the dead end job he had been at for the past four years since he had graduated. It paid him too little and sucked the happiness out of him. The only positive he could find about it was the fact that he had some good friends suffering with him.
Dan watched as the clock slowly hit his end time, collapsing back in his chair with relief when it did. His back ached from being hunched over and his eyes burned from reading report after report for so long. The day felt longer than most, the high from his morning interaction with Phil having worn out long ago. He quickly got ready to leave, looking forward to an evening of pizza and cuddles with his kitten, Snowy.
He was heading to the elevator when Phil ran up to him, ready to leave as well. Or somewhat ready. His coat was barely on and papers were loosely held together in his grip, threatening to escape. He had a nervous smile, something Dan had never seen on him.
“Dan! How was your day? Sorry I couldn’t eat lunch with you today.”
The elevator opened with a ding and the two stepped inside.
“Don’t worry about it,” Dan reassured, though he had missed Phil. “My day was boring as hell, per usual.” He hit the button to take them down to the lobby. He leaned against the elevator wall with a huff, feeling the tension of the day weigh down his shoulders.
Phil patted his shoulder, giving him a million watt smile. “You just have to find the fun in it.”
Dan rolled his eyes. “What fun is there in sorting papers and filling out the same old reports over and over again?”
Phil opened his mouth to argue, but he had nothing. He closed it. “Fair point. But you still have to find some way to have fun, even if it’s not with the actual work!”
Dan mumbled something, the elevator door opening and allowing the two men to walk out. They began the first half of their journey home, the walk to the tube. They’d have to separate at the tube, but for the meantime they could discuss important things like the latest anime or new video game.
“So, Dan,” Phil started, fiddling with the sleeve of his coat. “There’s a new sushi restaurant near downtown London that I went to last week.”
Dan pretended that his heart didn’t speed up with the thought of where the conversation was going.
“And I remembered that you liked sushi, so I was wondering if you uh, would like to go there with me this Friday?”
Dan stopped walking for a second, staring at Phil. Did he just ask Dan on a date? Not to mention, he had remembered that Dan liked sushi?
“Dan?”
“Yes!” Dan answered, coming out a bit louder than he had wanted. “I-of course! I’d love to.” His cheeks were red as he stuttered, happy butterflies filling his tummy.
Phil laughed at Dan’s response, then tugged him to start walking again. “Would eight o’clock work for you?”
Dan nodded, not trusting his mouth to speak properly.
“It’s a date then,” Phil said, trying to wink. He failed.
Dan let out a giggle (a giggle? who was he? he was Dan the Grouch, not Dan the Giggle Because A Cute Man Just Asked Me Out). “Whatever you say, Romeo.”
Phil beamed, satisfied with the result of the conversation. Louise had been right; Dan did say yes.
They made it to the underground, meaning that they would have to separate ways.
“Remember, sushi at eight on Friday,” Phil reminded, stalling time to stay with Dan.
Dan rolled his eyes, but a smile was on his face. “I won’t forget, you spoon. And you really need to go, you’re about to miss your train.”
Phil glanced at the time and immediately panicked. He ran off, awkwardly waving goodbye. Dan laughed as he disappeared into the crowd, a sunny feeling in his chest. He couldn’t wait until Friday.
Come Friday, however, the universe had different plans for him.
He woke up to a dull throbbing in his head, one he knew would escalate. He curled up more, ignoring the persistent and painful beeping of his alarm.
His head refused to let him fall back asleep, however, and he knew that he needed to go to work. By the time he had managed to get out of bed, he was already running twenty minutes behind.
He stumbled into work nearly an hour after he was supposed to be there. His appearance was disheveled and he clutched at his head, hurrying past others in hopes that they wouldn’t try to talk to him.
Dan made it to his cubicle and sat down, staring dreadfully at the stack of paperwork waiting for him. It mocked him and his failed film career that never really started. He wanted nothing more to light them on fire and go back to sleep.
Dan barely made a dent in the work he was meant to do before he had to lay his head down on his desk. His headache was growing into a migraine, and while he didn’t get them as bad as some did, it still hurt like hell.
He felt dizzy and sick to his stomach. Dan regretted not staying home, wrapped in his duvet and cuddling Snowy.
“Dan?” Phil’s voice cut through the dizziness. “Dan, what’s wrong?”
He felt a hand on his back, rubbing it gently. He didn’t dare move his head to look up, fearing it’d only cause more pain. Instead, he whimpered, hoping to get the message across wordlessly.
“Is it your head?” Phil knelt next to Dan, whispering in case he was sensitive to noise.
Dan hummed quietly, sounding pitiful. He turned his head ever so slightly, peeking an eye open to look at Phil.
Phil frowned, seeing the pain in Dan’s eye. “I’m sorry. Do you want to go home?”
Dan gave a slight nod. He thought he could handle work and their date afterwards, but he was in too much pain.
“I’ll get your stuff and get you home, okay?” Phil began gathering up Dan’s stuff, putting it all away neatly, much better than Dan could ever do. Dan kept his head down and shut his eyes. He listened to the small noises of movement from Phil, trying to focus on that instead of his migraine.
Phil only left to tell their supervisor about Dan’s situation, getting them both permission to take the day off. He grabbed his own stuff and headed back to Dan’s cubicle. Dan was still in the same position Phil had found him in.
“We’ve got the day off, okay?” Phil whispered, touching Dan’s back. “I’ll call us a cab; do you think you can make it down to the lobby?”
Dan slowly sat up, his eyes cloudy and unfocused. He let Phil guide him to the elevator, his hand staying gently on his back. His head felt like it was full of bricks and he couldn’t wait to get home. In the meantime, he used Phil as he support. He leaned on his shoulder as they waited for the cab in the lobby, Phil’s arm wrapped around his waist.
Phil stayed quiet, having dealt with enough migraines himself to know that other people talking only made it worse. He only asked Dan for his address to give to the taxi driver.
During the ride, Dan drifted off into a light doze, his head buried in Phil’s shoulder. Phil rubbed circles on Dan’s waist, holding him close to his body. He looked a lot less pained in his sleep, his mouth slightly open. Phil hated to wake him up, but he knew Dan would prefer to be in his pjs and wrapped up in a blanket.
“Hey, we’re here,” Phil whispered, handing his money to the driver. Dan groaned and stirred, wincing as the headache hit him. They got out of the cab and headed inside the apartment, escaping the cold of the England winter.
The hardest part of the journey were the stairs. Sure, there was a lift, but it was creaky and genuinely scared the living lights out of anyone who used it. Halfway up the stairs, Dan had to stop, the dizziness making him incredibly nauseous. Everything stayed put, thankfully (Dan would not like to explain what had happened to his landlord), and they continued up at a slower pace.
Dan could have cried with relief when they finally reached his apartment.
Snowy was there to greet them, her squeaky meows confused as to why her owner was back so earlier and who was his mysterious man? Phil decided to wait until later to introduce himself to Snowy, needing to get Dan to bed as soon as possible.
“Go change into some pajamas, I’ll get you some medicine.” Phil got Dan to the bedroom and let him take care of himself. He was able to get a good luck of the apartment. It was cozy, but lacked color in Phil’s opinion. That was Dan’s style, however, and Phil liked how his monochromatic style carried even in his house.
The medicine was located in the bathroom cabinet, similar to where Phil left his own. He rushed back to Dan, who was sitting on his bed, looking at the ground as if it held all the answers. He was wearing a black t-shirt and sweats, a cozier outfit than his stiff work uniform.
Phil gave him the medicine, watching in slight amusement as Dan swiftly took it like he was addicted to it. Phil pulled back the duvet, signaling to Dan to climb into it. Dan melted against the pillow, the softness encompassing his mind with a cloud.
Phil tucked him in, watching as Dan’s body relaxed in the comfort of his own bed. He ran his fingers through Dan’s curls, continuing the comforting action until Dan was softly snoring.
Phil left Dan to rest, leaving the door slightly cracked open as he left the room. He needed to figure out what he was doing. Phil assumed the date was off and, while he had been looking forward to it, Dan’s health was much more important.
Plus, they could make their own little date night at Dan’s apartment. Inspired by the idea, Phil grabbed his stuff and a key to get back into the apartment. Snowy watched him curiously as he sprinted to the door, fueled by an idea to make the best of the night.
“I’ll be right back, keep a watch on Dan for me,” Phil told Snowy, getting a confused blink in reply. He patted her on the head, and then he was gone.
-
Dan woke up a couple hours later, the pounding in his head reduced to a mere annoyance. He could finally think straight again rather than his thoughts being scrambled with dizziness.
He sat up, the duvet falling from his shoulders. It was dark outside, meaning he had slept through most of the day. Dan stretched and yawned, feeling refreshed. He didn’t mind that he had slept the day away, feeling well rested and better than he usually did.
Dan could smell something cooking, making his stomach grumble in anticipation. He frowned, confused as to who it might be, until he remembered that it had been Phil who had brought him back.
Smiling, Dan got up and headed to the kitchen. There, he found Phil hunched over a pot, Snowy rubbing against his legs. The sphynx kitten obviously wanted the chicken, but had yet to receive any.
“What do you think, Snowy? Do you think Dan will like my chicken noodle soup?”
Snowy meowed, then spotted Dan. She happily trotted over to him, alerting Phil of his presence. Phil smiled when he saw Dan, watching as he scooped up Snowy and held her in one hand. Dan smiled back, admiring how Phil looked in his casual wear and glasses.
“Chicken noodle soup sounds good,” Dan said, walking over to look at it.
Phil stirred the broth, the food mixing together. “It’ll be ready in a couple of minutes,” Phil explained. “You feeling better?”
Dan nodded. “Much. Thanks for caring for me. Sorry I got sick on our date night.”
Phil shrugged. “It happens. Besides, I made our own little date night here, complete with homemade chicken soup, studio ghibli, and some cookies I picked up from the bakery.”
Dan grinned. Phil was too good for him. He leaned over and pecked Phil’s cheek, watching in amazement as it turned a pretty pink.
Phil finished stirring the soup, asking Dan to grab them bowls and spoons. He gladly complied and the two served themselves dinner, heading to the lounge across from the kitchen to eat it. Dan watched in amusement as Snowy trailed behind them, wanting a bite of the chicken.
Phil popped in a movie and the two settled onto the couch.
“You need to cook food for me more often,” Dan commented, digging into the soup.
Phil laughed. “I take it you like it, then?”
Dan ate another spoonful. He didn’t normally like soup, but for some reason, Phil’s was the best thing he’d tasted in a long time. “It’s orgasmic.” He dramatically moaned, earning a swat from Phil.
“Shut up, weirdo.”
Later on, after they had devoured the soup and the cookies, Dan leaned back into the couch, eyeing Phil subtly. He looked so soft in the dim lighting and Dan wanted nothing more than to cuddle him. Figuring things were going well so far, he scooted so he was next to Phil’s side and leaned into him.
Phil smiled, getting the hint. He shifted so Dan could curl up against his chest, tangling their legs together. Dan smiled, feeling the happiest he had been in a long time.
“You’re a literal sunshine, you know that?” Dan murmured.
Phil laughed, the sound rumbling under Dan’s head. “How so?”
Dan closed his eyes, sighing contently. “You make me so, so happy Phil. You make everyone happy.”
He opened his eyes to see Phil staring down at him, his cheeks a bright red and a smile as bright as the sun. “R-really?”
Dan looked him in the eye, trying to be a serious as he could with a lovesick smile on his face. “I mean it.”
Phil giggled, hiding his blush in Dan’s hair. It was incredibly adorable, but Dan wanted to see Phil’s blushing face for all it’s glory. He cupped Phil’s face with his hands and held it gently, leaning his forehead against Phil’s.
“You’re my sunshine,” Dan whispered. He pecked Phil’s nose, bursting with affection for the dark haired man.
“That’s so cheesy,” Phil giggled.
Dan smiled softly, staring at Phil’s eyes. They were so much more beautiful up close, with flecks of yellow dancing around the blue and green tones. “Maybe a little bit.”
He leaned down and connected their lips, letting himself get lost in the sunshine. He tasted of sugar and warmth and made butterflies explode in Dan’s chest. They slowly pulled away, soft looks on both of their faces. Dan was on top of the world, and he had a feeling he wouldn’t be coming down anytime soon.
So yeah, Louise might have been right about that whole crush thing. But Dan could deal with a little teasing; Phil was his, and that was all that mattered.
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Family Bonding (Family Vacation, Part 1)
The next in my Nesta saga.  I can’t really call it a Nessian as Cassian is MIA while Mor and Nesta have an issue.  No smut in this one, sorry!  Will make more sense if you’ve read the rest: 1  2  3  4  5  6  7
Nesta was stretched out on the couch, flipping through a book, trying to snatch another hour of peace before the rest of the family arrived.  Cassian had brought her here a day early, since he had to inspect a nearby training camp and wanted them have a night to enjoy the cabin before everyone else arrived for a few days of forced bonding.  Enjoy it they had, which was probably a good thing since there were only two bedrooms and as far as she knew there would be eight people sharing.  She debated whether she wanted to go outside and read on the porch, but settled for staring out the window at the lake, daydreaming about flying over it with Cassian, swooping through the air with the waterfowl that were currently dabbling at the water’s edge.   Her reverie was broken by Mor banging through the door, clearly brimming with news.  She pulled up abruptly when she realized Nesta was the only occupant.  “Where is everyone?”
Nesta gave an insolent shrug, pretending to be engrossed in the story.  “Not here.”
“Thanks,” Mor said in a voice dripping with venom.
“Forgive me, Miss Morrigan.  Cassian is at some camp doing an inspection and nobody else has arrived.”
Mor slumped in a chair facing Nesta, arms crossed, eyes narrowed.  “What the fuck is your problem?”  Cool gray-blue eyes looked levelly into golden brown ones for a moment, then returned to the book.  Mor sighed.  “I love your sisters, you know.”
Nesta turned the page, focusing on maintaining her nonchalance as she replied, “Everyone loves my sisters.”
“Your sisters love me, too.”
Nesta stuck her finger in her book and closed it.  She could feel her pulse increasing; the last thing she wanted to do was get into a fight, especially when the two of them were here alone.  “What do you want me to say?”
“I want to know why you treat me with such disdain.”
“I treat everyone with disdain, it’s not just you.”
“You don’t treat Cassian with disdain,” Mor snarled.
“You don’t know what we do behind closed doors.”
Mor huffed and tossed her hands in the air before standing abruptly.  “I give up.  I give up!  I have tried and tried to be friends with you, for Feyre’s sake.  But it’s hopeless.  Utterly hopeless.”
Nesta put her book down and slowly sat up, tucking her feet underneath her.  If she wanted to have it out, fine.  “You’ve been trying to be friends with me?  When?  I must have blinked and missed it.”
“Oh, get over yourself,” Mor snapped.  “Everyone dances around you like you’re some dangerous creature, some mighty queen whose favor we have to curry, but you’re nothing but a petty little bitch.  And that’s fine, I don’t care what you think you deserve, but when you drag Cassian into your ridiculous drama-“  
“Why would you give a shit about Cassian now?” Nesta interrupted hotly.
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
Nesta leaned in, pressing a hand against the coffee table between them, the movement predatory.  “You got what you needed from him all those years ago, but what have you ever done for him?  You let Rhys beat the shit out of him -“
“I was in no condition to stop that -“
“-and what have you done for him since?  He’s been tormented by what went on for the past five hundred years.  He thinks he failed you, even as he saved you.  Have you ever spared a thought for what he risked?”  Mor was shaking her head slowly, eyes blazing, hands clenched, but Nesta plowed on.  “He risked the trust of his brothers, hell, he risked his life once your family found out, but what have you ever risked for him?”  She gave a mirthless laugh.  “No, you’ve just kept using him.  First you used him to save yourself, now you use him as a buffer to prevent everyone from knowing what you really are, isn’t that right?”  
“And what would that be?” Mor’s voice was cold, vicious, the voice of the Queen of the Hewn City, but Nesta could hear a note of fear behind it and went in for the kill.
“A liar who uses her friends as a mask.  A coward who can’t admit who she is, even to people who will love her no matter what.”  
“What are you talking about?”  Mor queried, the tone implying Nesta’s sanity was in question, but she couldn’t hide the slight tremor in her hands.  Nesta sat back again, crossing her arms, raising her chin in that haughty way she knew drove Mor insane.
“Are you ever going to tell them that you prefer females, or are you going to continue to fuck Helion and whoever else crosses your path to keep up this ridiculous facade?”
Mor sank back into her chair, grasping the arms, eyes wide in shock.  “Feyre,” she said tremulously, “Feyre told you?”
“Feyre?  No.”  Nesta made a disgusted noise.  “Like Feyre would ever sell you out.”
“Then how?”
Nesta shrugged.  “When we were at Rita’s for your birthday, some female came up and asked me if I’d introduce her to you, and I just…realized.”  Mor’s hands covered her mouth and nose as Nesta went on.  “I’d been trying to figure out why you kept pushing between Cassian and me, especially during the war.  It almost worked, you know.”  She shook her head.  “I thought you still cared for him at first, that he cared too.  But it was never about him, you just didn’t want to lose your cover.”  She sat back and made to return to her book, pressing down on the guilt that pricked her at the devastation she could see on Mor’s face.
“Does he know?” Mor whispered, not denying the truth of Nesta’s words.
“Yes.”
“Why…why did you tell him?”
“I didn’t.  Why would I bother?  It’s not my concern, you can be with anyone you want.  But I’m pretty sure he knows anyway.  You’re a terrible liar.”
“And you are a bitch of the first order,”  Mor snapped, partially recovering her composure.
“Well, that’s a relief.  I’d hate to be a bitch of the second order,” Nesta retorted.
Mor’s mouth quirked into an involuntary smile. “Don’t make me start liking you, Nesta,” she warned.
“Is that what I’m doing?  Good to know, I’ll stop.”
“Gah!  I can’t tell if you’re joking or not.”
“That sounds like a personal problem,”  Nesta parried, trying but failing to swallow her chuckle.  Mor stared at her in disbelief.  
“You…You have a sense of humor.”
“And you are spectacularly unobservant if you’re just figuring this out now.”
Mor burst out laughing, falling helplessly against the back of her chair while Nesta watched her, smile playing on her lips.  Slowly, Mor regained control and met Nesta’s steady gaze.  “Does Cassian get to see this side of you?”
“Of course.  Why else would he put up with me?”  A kernel of truth, embedded in the joke.
Mor shrugged her elegant shoulders.  “I just figured it was the sex.”
“Well, naturally.  But sometimes we need to take breaks to eat and I like to keep him entertained.”
“Speaking of which…”  A box of pastries appeared on the low table between them.  “Help yourself.”
Nesta leaned forward and selected one, a delicate flaky concoction with chocolate oozing from the center.  Mor grabbed one and vanished the box, then settled back into her chair, taking a huge bite of her fruit-filled square of dough and studying her adversary while she chewed.  Nesta nibbled daintily on a corner of her own, pretending not to notice Mor’s assessment even as she could feel heat spread up her neck.  “Can I ask you something?” Mor’s tone had gentled so much that Nesta bristled internally, anticipating the knife wound of sympathy that would no doubt accompany that change.
“If you must.”
“Why haven’t you acknowledged the mating bond?” Mor asked softly.
Nesta kept her eyes down, fighting the burning in them, until she trusted her control enough to hold Mor’s gaze.  “There is no mating bond.”
An incredulous snort.  “What do you mean?  We were all there, we saw you pull him from the Cauldron’s path.  Hell, we can all smell it!”
Biting her lip hard enough to taste blood, Nesta shook her head.  “I can’t feel it, can’t find it.”  She had never admitted this to anyone except Cassian.  “I know he thinks there’s something, he tries to pull on it, but there’s just…nothing on my end.  Like he’s knocking on the door of an empty house.”
“It took Feyre a year to recognize it,” Mor reminded her gently.  “Sometimes it just takes time.”
“And sometimes we want something so badly we can fool ourselves into thinking it’s there.”
“Are you referring to Cassian or yourself?”  Nesta shrugged again, looking away, unable to meet Mor’s eyes as she asked the inevitable next question.  “Do you love him?”  
Nesta didn’t answer for so long Mor stood and walked into the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of water and standing at the sink, looking out the window.  Nesta pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them, hugging her shins, trying to find that distance she relied on, that ice that had always protected her.  But hadn’t she forced Mor’s hand?  Wasn’t it only fair that she give her a truth of her own?  Yet only Fae ears would have heard her as she breathed, “Yes.  Yes, I love him.”  She couldn’t keep the pain from her voice.  Mor turned back to her, fresh tears in her eyes, then walked over and brushed a hand over her arm before sitting on the couch at her feet.
“That’s enough, you know,” Mor reassured her.  “Love…love is enough.”
They sat in silence for a while before Mor suddenly remembered something from the beginning of their conversation.  “What did you say to her?”
Nesta came out of her reverie and blinked at her, confused.  “To who?”
“To that female at Rita’s, who asked you to introduce us.  You obviously never did, so what did you say?”
A smile tugged at Nesta’s mouth, but her voice was flat as she replied, “I told her to go introduce herself.”
“Did you say it like that?”
“Pretty much.”
“Huh.”  Mor’s face was contemplative.  “I never considered ‘introduce’ as a substitute for ‘fuck’ until now.”
Nesta’s smile turned wicked.  “Many words can have similar meanings, you know.  It’s all in how you say them.  Inflection is important.”
“So I see,” Mor grinned.  “I can’t wait to try that one out on Cassian the next time he pisses me off.”
“Try it on Rhys instead.  Or Lucien.  It may not work on Cassian at this point, at least not how you intend.”
Mor rested her head against the back of the couch for a moment, staring without really seeing the mantel Feyre had painted.  “Why did you get me that necklace?” she asked abruptly, turning to face her.  Hurt flickered across Nesta’s features and Mor must have recognized it because she added, “Don’t get me wrong, I love it.  It’s probably my favorite piece of jewelry, to be honest.  It’s just…I hadn’t…earned it.”
“I guess I wanted you to know that I wasn’t…angry.”  Why were words so hard?  “About how things are between us.  We’re not that different, you know.  I think I wanted to let you know that I understood.”
“Understood what?”
“What it’s like to wear a mask all the time.”
“But I thought you didn’t figure it out until that night?”
Nesta propped her elbow on the back of the couch and rested her face on her hand.  “I only figured out what you were hiding that night.  But it’s pretty easy when you’ve always worn a mask to recognize it in someone else.”  
Mor rolled her head back and studied the ceiling.  “What am I going to say to them?” she murmured.  
“You don’t have to actually say anything, you know.”  Nesta’s voice was uncharacteristically gentle.  “There doesn’t need to be some grand announcement.  You could just stop lying, stop hiding.”
“I suppose. It’s just -“
Voices and footsteps sounded outside.  They could hear Rhys and Feyre bickering about something, then Lucien’s barking laugh.  A glance out the window showed the group of them - the whole family except Cassian and Amren - crossing the yard, Willow squirming in Elain’s arms.  Both females smiled at the sight.
Mor tilted her head to look at Nesta.  “I still hate you, you know.”
“And I still don’t care,” Nesta replied, opening her book once again as her hair slid down, blocking her expression as she pulled her mask back on.
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lizmckague-blog · 6 years
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Rimbaud the Son, by Pierre Michon
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Translated by Jody Gladding and Elizabeth Deshays
Yale University Press, 2013
If you’re going to single out the agony of “the gift”, the iron in irony, the embodiment of the tormented artist, the lost son of all sons, it would be Rimbaud.
It would be human and masculine.
It would be what is recovered
                                                   L’éternité.
It would be what is pure
                                                  La mer mêlée au soleil.
“History is all about fathers, sons and whores.”
                                                                   -Duncan McNaughton
Or the dark well of a single mother who can’t, just can’t- because the farm in Charleville is a daydream surfacing only in the sallow yellow sunbeam that comes out from the attic window like a church bell on Sunday when everything is hideous and you’re supposed to remember.
Remember what?
                                  Infamy and alchemy, perhaps.
Yet the ‘Carabosse’ (mommy) can’t breathe, so fades into the shadow of her dark fingers, like Eurydice, gripping the edge of the bowl of the dark well, lined with wild forget-me-nots.
Whether rebellion is a curse or a blessing, it’s still poetry.
So he walked. Back and forth from the future into the past and back again from 1854 to 1891.
Crossed the Alps on foot. In Italy (if I remember correctly)- walking, walking, walking until his ribs cut into his Siddhartha stomach lining.
Burst!
He wanted to burst from the very first time he watched a spider.
He became a saint behind the closed shutters in Camden Town, perching like a peacock in the presence of a devil.
Drown in the green fairy and rise out of the lake like a Lancelot with a sword wound by violets whose roots are stronger than your thin wrist.
So after the offenses and defenses, after the crime of the enfant terrible, and all along the solitude, the one thing that loved you- solitude, you plunged, like Eurydice, back into the dark, fecund pantomime of the earth below the earth
And in Abyssinia, illegally exported guns.
Maybe once upon a dream you remembered your boyhood with three sisters, an older brother, the haystacks, the color of each letter of the alphabet and the lapis-lazuli chunks of sky blinding the pillows of clouds where you chose to hide
                                                                                                      Your wings.
Until the day you took the train
Without a ticket
To the Gods.
Michon thinks you were nervous before the steps to Zeus’s Palace.
I do not.
Zeus doesn’t give a crap about peonies and the prodigal son has eyes like Novalis’ blue flower
and a body protected by thorns.
You were sixteen.
You wanted the hue of that vast, endless sky
Seen from the well of the soul
                                                     It’s not a good view.
But it’s focused in a circle that is beyond you.
Was it at nineteen, or in Cypress, or in Africa, when you finally understood how freedom spoiled you? Surrender, surrender to the sands of the line, to the banks of Lethe. And plaster your fasting with a belt made of gold.
She was as black as the country wife’s fingers.
She emerged from the dead cavern of Verlaine and the blood of the lonesome soldier in the meadow and the invisible city of the barracks across oceans.
Once it stopped
There was beauty.
That spider crawling in the attic, in the sallow yellow sunbeam, is a messenger from Izambard, the ferryman, telling you to give him a penny
but instead you knocked on the door and had your photograph taken.
Who gives a fuck about the crooked bow tie? It was brown, the color of shit. Not your own shit, or Paul’s, or Banville’s, or Hugo’s, or your mother’s or father’s or sisters’ or brother’s, or even Monsieur Carjat in the black hood over the plate of silver nitrate… The bow tie in the black and white photograph is the color of Jesus’s shit.
Carjat wanted to touch it (the crooked bow tie), to adjust it-
But dude, if you were in front of Jesus’s shit would you adjust it?
(Touch it, maybe, but adjust it?)
You were hung over. Then you were drunk and then you were hung over. Fuck Virgil, fuck Dante, fuck Shakespeare, fuck Hugo, fuck Mallarme, fuck Baudelaire…
No, not Baudelaire, he’s my baby.
History is reversed. I’m the first.
A charcoal sky over Paris, day after day. They all want me. They are hungry. I am not. So I stay. Their soup is spiced with my piss, their lips are parched by my invisible sun. They laugh, imagining how my white ass must be luminous as the moon.
I wanted grace. I didn’t know it then, but I wanted it.
Books were gentle. The pages were silky. The bindings were hard. They smelled like History. They smelled like the well.
I saw the sea, remembered love and learned how to bring it against me.
Wave after wave after wave…
A La Recherche du Temps Perdu by Marcel Proust
Translated by C.K. Scott Moncrieff and Terence Kilmartin
Three volumes, 1107 pages, Vintage, New York, 1982
My friend Miles Bellamy’s father, Dick Bellamy, owner of the once rather notorious Oil & Steel art gallery on the Hudson river in New York, died with the first volume of A Le Recherche du Temps Perdu open in his hands. The portrait here being that dear Dick, knowing he was taking his last breaths, remembered that the one thing he had yet to accomplish in life was… well, you get it. Unfortunately poor Dick never read did the whole thing, all 1,267,064 words, but I did. And before I die, I might attempt to do so again.
When I did finish this monumental work, I vowed that it must be the greatest book of time… and then I read Jean Santeuil (see below), yet still say yes, it’s the greatest work of all time. It’s the delicacy of feeling, the stamina of that delicacy, the persistence… days turning into years of sunlight scattered through clouds.
If asked what this novel is about, I’d answer, “The end of the aristocracy in France.” Simple. But it’s about everything not only ending, but spreading out and folding back on itself. It’s about love. It’s about mysticism.
The famous madeleine dipped in tea in the beginning opens up the space for, well, enlightenment really, and when Marcel accidently trips on uneven stones in the path to the Guermantes mansion in the end, that very path is raised into another, higher dimension and you go there too… bursting through clouds, transformed.
It’s hard to say what actually happens in this moment but one is undeniably transformed. *
James, a co-worker of mine at a used bookstore, (way back when- when there was a happy abundance of used bookstores)- came into work one day kind of glowing, radiating and outside of himself, almost floating. He said, “I just finished reading Proust,” then added, “sitting on the stone steps of a church.” I don’t remember where I was when I finished it, probably in my garden in the darkening twilight, unable to move until the end of the last page, or more likely, propped up against pillows in my bed at four in the morning or something, nothing as romantic as the steps of a church, or a chair in a room on the Hudson River in the glow of lamp, but I do remember that when I did finish it, yeah- I was in some kind of nebula, my perspective of the mundane egg (as Blake terms our world)- changed and I was stronger. Inside, there was this new strength of fragility, my own and every one else’s, even strangers, even the dead… perhaps, thinking back on it now, especially the dead…
This has stayed with me, this joy of (at the risk of being cliché)- an inner knowledge that was had, and could only be had, by reading A Le Recherche du Temps Perdu.                                                                                                                          
Of course I am familiar with a book entitled “How Proust Can Change Your Life”, I’ve never read it and never will because the title alone is so pretentious it makes me nauseous and the fact that someone would write a book for the sole purpose of self-propaganda really makes me want to puke.
Looking for St. Loop
by Elizabeth McKague (1999)
“I thought I saw in his eyes that thirst for more sublime happiness, that un-avowed melancholy which aspires to something better than we can know here below, and which, for the romantic soul, however placed by chance or revolution,
“still prompts the celestial sight,
for which we wish to live, or dare to die.”
(Ultima lettera di Bianca a sua madre. Forli, 1817)
-Stendhal, “On Love”
Looking for St. Loup
I.
The gallant boy ran across the tables
like Holderlin’s comet through a mad sky.
There is no system for this.
Monsieur Melandrine came from the theater
to the Place de Clichy in work pants on a scooter.
We ate oysters and drank champagne
in the same corner where Baudelaire
sank into reverie, after a shoe shine.
The gentlemen arrive, all in black, from the Garden
and wish to enter the dark forest
yet wily nymphs hold them back.
No one believes it, although you were right
about the Minotaur-  now he’s using a cane.
It’s time for change when the familiar
becomes a loneliness one can not breathe.
Leopardi said Slyia reached out to her own grave.
His red cloak flying over their heads-
He seemed to be swinging from a garland of bells!
I must find invitations to better dramas.
Philosophy, the kiss, your paint box even
that has been emptied into this night
are lost so quickly, I can’t stand, I can’t walk,
I want to limp.
I gazed over the shoulders of so many others
as he leapt past an orgy of apocalyptic monsters
made by the shadows of coats and hats on racks
behind the French double doors.
He gathered his whole life into his arms to bring,
dashing, that fearless taste of the fruit-
blind to all but Surrender, to the approach
of a movement where feeling becomes a circle of light
drifting you upwards s that your heels
are actually rising from the small,
round, marble faces, arranged for reflection
against the great window, like a sliced up moon.
II.
He wants
the word
one word
from the
beginning
to     after
the end.
Some temperance
and arrangement
of the muscles
like flowers
in a vase.
Young Werther spoke of a kind of horse
that would bite open it’s own vein to relieve a fever.
Di te mi dole: Tu me manques.
A posture of Spring time in the cultured rows of sailboats.
The secret gathering is to live
as foreigners forced by the archer
to almost touch the shore.
marked obscura. The phantom swooped into the realm.
I revealed my dream.
“You mean, you actually want them t put you in the ground?”
Bones. Maybe. And daughters leaving azaleas.
My favorite part was when he drove up alone
and stepped out in front of the hotel.
How the sun carried him then, how
he lingered inside it
even as he entered the mulberry carpeted lounge.
Sultry wives, embarrassed by the heat, heaved out loud.
Bellhops hopped and stray men snatched
a second mind from the ice bucket
to place atop their usual, girdles of ennui.
She’ll torture herself with those pink hawthorns
a few hundred years from now.
Some erziehungsroman left in a box unfinished
in the closet and pithoi and stone cellar where
Thomas Aquinas once lived across the street
When once the body, the earth listened and
men walked where ever they found
an arresting feeling waiting in the distance.
It is necessary.
III.
As he watched the fawn
climb from the thicket
through unsteady branches
black with a melting frost
Play of time
the clouds bore down
another spirit upon
his wounded mind.
IV.
I’ll rent a studio where the river
becomes a dragon at the end of May.
Read Giuseppe Ungaretti at the round cafe
in the Piazza Giuseppe Poggi there is
a piece of shade shaped like an angel
from one certain elm.
If I asked you to read the palm on the hill.
You could be anybody reaching
the purple turrets in a limehaze.
I can see a missing chapter
in the prow of your hands,
mouth at the edge of a miracle.
It has been too long now not to know what to believe.
A shock went through the back of his neck.
A marching band stepped on the train.
He sat with a silent
tuba in his ear.
Another espresso in Rome.
Best one he ever had.
She walked through the Piazza della Repubblica
guitar on her back with a
pineapple and an eggplant, one in each arm.
The street musicians wondered,
“Must be some kinda California minestrone.”
She left her letters in the Hotel Vienne, 1814.
The unfinished dawn bleeding through crepe de che curtains and
the boys in stone statues across the Rue Raspail
when everything has happened in the presence of desire
and the Saints came in after kissing the trees-
She knew she could see across the expanse
but how could she scramble such love into the margins?
The sky moved closer, became charcoal and smoked.
V.
They pierced the continual sky with an auger,
threw loops up to heaven
and hung down like acrobats.
Sprung from a doubtless tube of royalty; he owned up
and saw truth as a visible object, a kind of crystal ball
in which nothing was false but the tints
of lavender in the hair and cheeks of so many Duchesses,
Princesses and Marquises’.
St. Loup laughed to cheer others.
In the hearth he burnt only the finest timber
to keep you warmer, longer.
He would soon ride again.
She escaped out under the trellises where
the quiet, gold days waiting for the post
spread out like tea with lemon.
On his own orders, later, after the pride
turned to pain (for no particular reason);
he went to the Front of the Line, crossed
the bloody battlefield in Auverres.
Endymion fought the jackals then rested his sword between her breast.
Tristan turned into Hermes when suddenly
everything on his back moved over his neck like a breeze.
It was always a trust.
In his last years he visited homosexual brothels.
His alienation pulsed. After all the gifts, still it was
like a bonfire all the way down the Champs Elysees,
it was like the dried figs at Christmas-
Perhaps there’d been too many sensations outside of himself,
he could no longer measure the end.
Perhaps it had past.
Perhaps he missed it.
You ask why it is a question of wandering?
Because somewhere the last line contains
a horizon  of Nobility.
VI.
I’m in that painting; rushed through the Vatican.
Justine taught me the eye trick how when you focus
on Hell then move slowly up and above
it’s all buoyancy and heavy globes.
I found my ecstatic consciousness on the map.
What a relief. (I was getting weaker from surviving
on the nebula of the dead).
T’was not I who wrote bitterness into the third novel.
Monmartre mattresscake on bare stone and gazing
naked into the long dawn and ashes of Chesterfields.
“Comme un paysage après l’orage, attention a la mélancolie,
c’est la plus belle mélodie de l’amour
c’est aussi la plus cruel et plus difficile.
Soit prudent avec ton coeur et rendre un peu triste.”
Someday, I’m going to the
top of the hill to live
with the Capuchin sisters.
I wanted the stillness to come and last, beside some one.
It speaks when we are children as a form of protection-
to find placement amongst that which is sensual.
Each memory in its own making like a sun
surrounded by a sun, surrounded by a sun... and so on;
if you can believe such a thing.
They say it all began with the Danube,
from the Black Sea to 1001 night’s heads resting on jewels in the great net covering all.
Then Calvalcanti came in with the key and the Pieta, the Pieta and the Pieta danced
all night out back of Hamlet’s Mill.            He just wanted to prove that it’s real-
that everything touches it, that it feels like Rouen blue
and haunted by crimson,
                         corrosive moss
         that took the mouths of gargoyles.
He distinguished a solitude far beyond the waves and valleys of reason.
His precipice divided the elliptic and he finally slept when the moon left Paris,
was carried off to Asia where he studied new characters; hieroglyphs of lover’s
limbs.
No, see
               MIND                              Body
                                                                               is the first
and second half
                                            of attention.
Then habit oppresses
soluble links to the night.
The machinery itself looks dangerous.
I wanted to tell you
how nice it would have been
when it was                possible
to escape.
And now,  there’s      that.
That it affected you so much.
Maybe it could have been more
than these pall books to carry us,
to weave the way in.
VII.
He walked along the shore, throwing each thought that started
in his groin and moved North over his shoulders
back in to the water.
I               have married many shepherds.
It was too orange- that light
in his North Beach hotel room.
Now he’s making violins for Carnagie Hall.
We’d watched the sun like we planted it,
even the noise of traffic and Ave Marias
from the laundromat below his rotting window, drowned.
Nobody talks about the Upyia Gallery anymore,
sometimes, a siren brings the needles and trumpets back into your brain.
Then the stranger appears, feeding the birds.
I couldn’t make anything new anymore, I wanted
to give it all away. Forgive me,
the East is precious, but, forgive me.
St. Loup is an archetype
the misunderstood troubadour
and the violence of another world.
Ternion in chains in the Caucasus Mountains,
no one can find you there.
the monsters come, the monsters go...
He’d never say her name in writing.
It meant house. House of peaches.
VIII.
St. Loup surrounded himself with the resistless type.
He liked to tame them. But you were the one
he appreciated. You were the dark self, the delicate solitaire.
Conversation was pure.         It was only a favor. So,
he traveled to her hiding place
and learned she had died.
He told you by telegram, “I’m sorry.
She went horse riding in the planets.”
He rarely slept in the barracks.
When the Great War came he went in barefoot
and lonely, following demons for secrets
and no one to save.
He never had a photograph taken of himself.
Leave, was three days in Nueilly-
But you’d been salvaged
into the asylum.
I’m not going to be calm about this.
I believe there’s an answer.
If I could say, “Tonight, my love...”
but my voice is fainter, transient,
like a sliver of ice.
You must be brave. learn to balance
the antiquity of character with laughter.
The shetayan who is wise never returns-
you go there- in the periphery of the campfire.
Each bridge in Prague is like the bow of a violin.
For every two French people there is only one mirror.
Proust and Stendhal differ on the idea of love.
What    idea?
Friends have run off to Nederland, Colorado.
Dreadlocks in Switzerland.
The Trenitalia are always right on time, to the second.
and mothers and grooms waving good-bye.
I’m concerned about the lighting (not too dark, not too cold...)
the Byzantine painter, who is eccentric, is coming.
“If you impress them too much they’ll end up thinking
you’re a survivor.”
Gray, gray, the color of storm
and that soft, yellow patch,
and the chimes, and the albatross.
The carriage waited. The shadowy lamplighter alone,
walking down the Boulevard de Batignolles in a mist.
St. Loup entertained his table until midnight.
Who are you looking at?
Let’s have another round.
His red cloak hanging on the back of his chair like Shelley’s ghosts.
The underpainting the color of brown glass
then Mediterranean light and a tiny bottle of arsenic.
Chatterton as Icarus on the bed in the attic.
You were right, about culture, how it’s all about
fathers, sons, and whores.
Monsieur Melandrine had such a fucking
intelligent looking upper lip. He abandoned
everything to position himself between feeling what is illusion and what is manifest.
I pictured his boyhood,
tangerines and linden trees, imagination at Fontainebleau.
It was the last time.
I watched an old man pour soapy water on the steps,
then sweep it away with a broom.
IX.
The sullen wind
cherry blossom snow
it is Spring.
I still have your banjo. I threw away the case.
It looked like Rimbaud’s passport.
She wrapped the souvenirs in the pretty printed paper from the confiserie
and left them in the front zipper pocket of her suitcase
when she got home, unpacking.
Forever that midnight.
He did look a bit surprised when she lay down
on the floor of pine needles in the spreading moonlight,
beyond the red stones, over the wall, out back of someone
unknown’s villa, through the dewy meadow
in an atrium of skinny trees
where Dvorak had the inspiration to compose his-
“So did you get those cool sandals...?”
“At the bazaar, in Cairo.”
Allegro ma non troppo.
St. Loup was killed in battle.
Blown up and scattered.
No one knew, but himself, then-
at that very moment,
that he really wished
for truth and freedom,
that he had plans,
that he wanted to continue
the task that
in this little globe
one can still find
some definition
of virtue.
2005
Jean Santeuil by Marcel Proust,
Translated by Gerald Hopkins
Simon & Shuster, New York, 1956, 2nd printing, first printing 1955
Bernard de Fallios, a young Proust scholar, found several boxes of torn manuscript pages and seventy notebooks in Marcel’s cork-lined room at 102 Boulevard Haussmann. Written, and obviously abandoned, when Proust was around 25, these pages were carefully reassembled by Fallios and published in Paris as the novel, “Jean Santeuil” in 1952.
This probably my foremost favorite novel, although Le Recherche is absolutely a greater work, Jean is… well, it’s like a raindrop. (And the dated, pale pink cover is really cool!)
It is the tender story of a poet. An indulgence in sentimentality. A bath of isolated sensuality. Lonesomeness. Illness. Growth. The humor of adolescence, hypersensitivity, innocence, natural voyeurism, connection points into the center of sexuality, naiveté and intelligence merged by poetic vision into the beauty of windows out onto the ‘health’ of society when one is so young and so ill. Jean Santeuil is the beacon on the lighthouse. Portrait of an artist as a lover alone. (Yet, aren’t all artists lovers alone?) It’s a bout a boy taking the boy into the man no matter what…
From page 369, when Jean’s mother calls him while he is away from her for the first time (if I remember correctly): And also, the telephone is a new invention at this time in history:
“Quickly, he put the receiver to his ear… then, all of a sudden, as if everyone had left the room and he was throwing himself into his mother’s arms- he was aware, close beside him, gentle, fragile, delicate, so clear, so melting, like a tiny scrap of broken ice- of her voice.”
The mature Marcel (see above) finds strength in fragility. Jean Santeuil creates, fashions out of clay, strength out of weakness. Strength to accept death (at such a young age!) and the weakness to love life. Hope.
The tendons of language are bruised.
The sky is grey, the ocean green, girls wear white, boys wear blue and in between, the lover, the lighthouse, fearlessly feels the world through his window, the window of all the lost time of youth that has been emptied into his shining soul.
from page 743:
“For death in a man journeys into the infinite and into nothingness. For no matter how obscure he may be, no matter how limited his intelligence, the thought of death, the coming of death, opens for him a window on the mysteries of eternity.”
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kiamaartgallery · 7 years
Text
Jeanne Jacquemin, c 1893
Jeanne Jacquemin (Marie-Jeanne Coffineau)  was born in Paris in 1863 to Marie Emélie Boyer and was adopted by Lord Juliette Boyer and Louise Coffineau in 1874. However, details of her upbringing are sketchy and conflicting, and it isn’t known what formal training she may have had in drawing, painting or print making.
In 1881 she married a naturalist illustrator (who was also an alcoholic), Edouard Jacquemin.  After they separated Jeanne lived with engraver Auguste-Marie Lauzet in Sévres on the outskirts of Paris, from about 1893. Through both Jacquemin and Lauzet she met a number of artists (including Puvis de Chavannes) and poets and developed an interest in Symbolism and the occult.
She first became known as a writer, when from June 1890 onwards she wrote commentaries on a number of writers and painters of the time for Art et Critique – she was particularly interested in Symbolist and Decadent literature. Many of the themes and images that she referenced in her writing appeared later in her own pastels.  (Approximately 40 of the works that she exhibited during her lifetime were pastels, and unfortunately few remain.)
Like many other Symbolists, Jacquemin saw a close correlation between literature, music and the visual arts. She responded to the poetic and mystic delights of the texts in her commentaries, saying that “her ear keeps the music of poems long after the reading“. She also wrote that “I see images [from the poems] mount before my eyes” and that she wanted to “try to fix some of her visions“.
From 1892,  with other Symbolists and Post Impressionists, she participated in a series of Peintres Impressionnistes et Symbolistes exhibitions, which were held between 1891 and 1897.
The catalogues of these exhibitions show that Jacquemin was both well represented and well received by some of the most significant critics of the time. Rémy de Gourmont from the Mercure de France wrote that her “overall effect produces something that is full of the new” with traces of “dreaminess” in blue-green luminosities” and impressions of “androgynous figures left to float like the unhealthy, yet adorable haze of desire around those heads so infinitely tired of living“.
Gourmet compares the dreaminess in her work to fellow Symbolists Gustave Moreau and Odilon Redon, and her work is similar in style to  Puvis de Chavannes. There is also an echo of Paul Gauguin in some of her works.
Jeanne Jacquemin, Daydream (Reverie), 1894
Jeanne Jacquemin, La Douloureuse et glorieuse couronne, 1892
Most of her paintings can be easily identified by the sad figures – usually waif-like or gaunt women in anguished or dreamlike states – which appear to haunt her paintings. She mostly used subdued tones in her pastels which adds to their subtlety .
Daydream (or Reverie), above left,  appears to be typical of her work, with a solitary, somewhat melancholic or pensive, figure set in front of a landscape. Blues and purples feature in the background, as do the  strawberry blonde hair and blue-green eyes, which are thought to be similar to the artist’s own features. Does the use of the garland of flowers suggest a Christ like quality? It was not unusual for her male Symbolist counterparts to explore the theme of the self as Christ, and Jacquemin may have also chosen to do so. The second image above ( La Douloureuse et Glorieuse Couronne) is certainly suggestive of this motif, with the crown of thorns and eyes raised to the heavens.
Puvis De Chavannes St. Genevieve Bringing Supplies to the City of Paris after the Siege
Jeanne Jacquemin, Le Coeur de l’eau, 1892
Odilon Redon, Christ on the Cross, 1897
Gustave Moreau, Venice
Paul Gauguin, Te aa no areois (The Seed of the Areoi), 1892
  One critic, writer and poet Jean Lorrain, was particularly taken by Jacquemin’s art, that he felt might be used to mirror his own interests, which also included the occult. As a result, they collaborated on a short story, Conte de Noel. Written by Lorrain and accompanied by five lithographs by Jacquemin, it was published in 1894. Lorrain’s support for her during the 1890s may assisted in her public recognition. For example, in 1893, she was invited to represent France in the tenth Les XX exhibition in Brussels, where she showed five works. Unfortunately, the close relationship between the two deteriorated and her reputation suffered as a result.
As well as her paintings, Jacquemin also produced a number of charcoal drawings and prints (lithographs) which were not as widely exhibited.
Jeanne Jacquemin, Saint Georges, 1898
Perhaps the best known is a colour lithograph, Saint Georges, c 1898, which appeared in L’Estampe Modern that year. The description of print in the magazine read,
“This print represents the young and valiant knight of Cappadocia, sweet as a virgin but strong as a lion, who is described in the Golden Legend as fighting and killing the dragon who was preparing to devour the daughter of the King of Libya. Thus, this heroic character inspired the traditions of many peoples, and since the time of the Crusades he has been known as the patron saint of the armies”.
Jeanne Jacquemin, Marjolaine de la purete, c1893, lithograph with chine colle
Jeanne Jacquemin, Cup of Delight,(Coupe de suavité), 1894
Jean Jacquemin, Sketch, c1893
Jeanne Jacquemin, Another nightmare also tormented her, 1894, lithograph
Jeanne Jacquemin, She would wander, full of uneasiness, 1894, lithograph
Jeanne Jacquemin, And the Queen ended up being afraid.., 1894, lithograph.
Jeanne Jacquemin, It was this princess of the swamps.., 1894, lithograph.
  It has been said that many of her works are self portraits, and there is certainly a similarity in the facial structure in a several of the paintings and prints shown on this page. Even the Saint Georges lithograph appears, if not female, at least androgynous.
Not a great deal is known about Jeanne Jacquemin or her work from the late 1890’s onwards. After nursing Lauzet until his death in 1898, she married Lucien Pautrier, and perhaps she chose to no longer exhibit, or it may have been the acrimony between herself and Lorrain (including a very public law suit) and the death of Lauzet which resulted in her being hospitalised for a short time that led to her being less interested in art. She divorced Pautrier in 1921, and married occultist Paul Sédir later in the same year, suggesting that she maintained her interest in the occult throughout her life time.
Jacquemin is thought to have died in 1938.
Primary Source: Jeanne Jacquemin: A French Symbolist, Leslie Stewart Curtis, Woman’s Art Journal, Vol. 21, No. 2 (Autumn, 2000 – Winter, 2001), pp. 1+27-35
 This blog is just a short excerpt from my art history e-course, Introduction to Modern European Art  which is designed for adult learners and students of art history.
This interactive program covers the period from Romanticism right through to Abstract Art, with sections on the Bauhaus and School of Paris,  key Paris exhibitions, both favourite and less well known artists and their work, and information about colour theory and key art terms. Lots of interesting stories, videos and opportunities to undertake exercises throughout the program.
If you’d like to see some of the  Australian artwork you’ll find in my gallery, scroll down to the bottom of the page. You’ll also find many French works on paper and beautiful fashion plates from the early 1900s by visiting the gallery.
          Jeanne Jacquemin – Symbolist artist and writer Jeanne Jacquemin, c 1893 Jeanne Jacquemin (Marie-Jeanne Coffineau)  was born in Paris in 1863 to Marie Emélie Boyer and was adopted by Lord Juliette Boyer and Louise Coffineau in 1874.
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adiabolikpastel · 1 year
Note
Hi mun! Hope you are well :)!
I'm very curious to know what your OCs (both female and male) do when an important ball is coming up in the Demon World.
For example: the ball that Karlheinz does during the Lunar Eclipse 🌑, the Autumn Ball 🍁🍂, the Halloween Ball 🎃👻, the Winter Ball ❄️, or some other important ball that the other demon clans celebrate. To be more specific, how do your OCs prepare for events this important? What kind of dresses/clothes would they wear and where would they buy them from?
Ohhhhh golly. Okay - this will be quite a long one. I will put everyone under the cut, along with breaking it up by Universe to help.
I will say that - as far as 'buying' things go - I have no real answer for that. I am not much of a shopper myself, so I am not really familiar with any kind of actual store that does dresses or like makes special clothes.
Thank you for this ask! It took me days to put it together, but it was so much fun to think of! I hope you enjoy it~
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TORMENTED REVERIE
Yuuki
Preparations for Yuuki, as time has passed, have gotten easier(?). Instead of Kanato just telling her - "hey you're going to this with me" - it's now more Reiji tells her there is an event, and she must tell Kanato. So, she gets to be the one that has to convince him to go.
She loves parties. After getting through the first couple, and loosing those nerves, she loves getting dressed up and parading around the dance hall. It doesn't even bother her that other demons are around - she just loves being dressed up with Kanato. LEM does a better job showing this.
Now being my oldest OC - I have actual commissions of her from special events. Ones like the Hallows Eve Ball and from the LEM series. For her those, really once she chooses Kanato - her options of clothes are whatever he picks out. She looks cute in strapless dresses - so Kanto normally picks out those. Frills and bright color are great too - but he is found of purple on her. Yuuki's original style of dress was close to a Pastel Goth vibe when she came to live there - but since dating Kanato she isn't too picky, its whatever he wants. For a time he tried Lolita style clothes - but they didn't suit her.
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Yuki
He was invited to a ball!? In all seriousness, Yuki is like the third or fourth after thought for Laito. He really does not think about him, let alone think about bringing him to a ball. If he does go, it will always be last minute, and it will always be as a game for Laito.
Prepare is not something he gets to do. If it were up to him, he might try to find a nice button up and a vest - try to look presentable. However, it's never up to him~ so in a dress and wig he shall be. Whether that is in an actual dress to be with Laito as a 'date' or in a maids outfit so that Laito can force him to be shared around with everyone. Laito normally keeps him in longer dresses - going for a innocent look rather than an overly sexy, since Yuki is a man - and doesn't have breast to accent.
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TORMENTED REVERIE: ANOTHER DAYDREAM
Yuuki
As she gets older - Kanato still dresses her. While now she wears Lolita for work - when it comes to almost anything else, Kanato dresses her in clothes reminiscent to those like Cordelia used to wear. Long straight dresses. Something draped off her shoulders. Accenting her chest.
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Kanaye
He is probably the most professional of his family - and as such he takes balls quite seriously. He never waits until the last minute to prepare, and always arrives on time - but tends to leave after a round of socializing has been done. While he understand their importance, he is not a party kind of guy.
As he's gotten older, Isabella has made this easier. He loves nothing more than seeing her dressed up like the queen she is - so that makes him stay a little longer. He typically will dress in royal attire, if not in a suit at the very least. Kanye carries himself seriously, and dresses the way he wishes to be seen.
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Yukio
If he isnt the center of attention - he looses his sh*t. So, needless to say, Yukio dresses like he's the bell of the ball - cause he is. Like his mother, he will spend hours getting ready. Trying on multiple outfits. Throwing a tantrum because he doesn't feel pretty enough. Barge in on everyone else getting ready to complain about lack of clothes. He's just a total pill really.
As he's gotten older, Silas has helped this. While still vein as all get out - he only really needs Silas to say he looks good. He wants everyone to envy them as a couple, more so than himself. So he's calmed down as far as throwing a fit - but still dresses like the most extra person in the room.
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Rini
Sweet girl - she wishes that she were allowed to dress herself. However, Kanato sees her as his Baby Doll - and dresses her up in the most extra Lolita and high society cute clothes he can. Getting ready for her involves Kanato basically ordering her a new dress for very event. He tries to get her in something new, which makes her closet the biggest in the house. Kanato will have familiars help her get dressed - change his mind - put on something different- change it again - the cycle repeats. He also likes to match her if he can, that way he can parade her around the ball showing off their matching outfits.
This causes Yukio and Yuuki both to be annoyed. Yukio, because he is an attention hog and has loathed Rini since she was born. Yuuki because she wants Kanato's attention, and has been jealous of Rini she she was born. Rini - while loving her father deeply- does wish he would allow her to do things on her own.
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EXCRUCIATING DUPLICITY
Skye
He. is. that. B*tch. He owns any outfit he wears - to the fullest. Skye has a plethora of fake breast that he can use for any type of dress. There are even dresses he can pull off without them. He is not afraid of any type of shape or style of dress. If he likes it - he's going to wear it and make it work. To prepare he will spend hours getting ready. If the event is important enough he'll take days. Going to the spa - getting his nails done - facial - the. works. Skye ensure that he is the topic of conversation at any event - and if he isn't he makes it so himself.
It is a recent development that Karl has started presenting him as a date - and Skye takes that very seriously. If he is going to be seen with the most powerful man, he's going to look the part. Karl has allowed Skye to start picking out his outfits as well - so from time to time he will have them match.
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Callista
The actual bell of the ball. Calli has been dressing in gowns her entire life - and she loves it. So much so that she barely wears pants - as she feels that dresses are skirts help her feel free. She has attended a great number of balls and event sin her life time. However, with her father being a relaxed as he is, it's not that she needed to over dress.
As such, Callista has learned to dress elegant and classy, while still not being restricted of movement. She is a fan of modest clothing over ones that reveal too much. Loves to have layers and textures - longer ones are better for special events, but she is normally in dresses all the time.
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Roselyn
She will never be anything more than a maid in the Vibora Kingdom. This is something that I have talked about with @the-sloth-woman, since the Burai I use the same as hers. So, there is no scenario that she would 'change' the way she dresses. That being said - different uniforms could be used for different events.
She prepares like any servant would. Assisting with set up, in the kitchen, doing really what ever Burai ask of her. She is his personal attendant, so if he is feeling like it - he could have her dress him.
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The Twins
I know they are not official yet - but I wanted to think about them and try to figure out what they would wear. They have different styles from one another.
She loves to show off her body, and wears dresses that show off her breast / back / legs - really where ever. Showing off skin makes her feel more powerful - when she is all ready a powerful woman. She also loves accessories, sun glasses / hats / jewelry. She is the boss, and shows that off every chance she gets.
He - while still keeping in fashion, prefers comforts over anything. He doesn't mind showing skin - but it will hardly look professional or formal when he does. Designer comfy pants are his weakness, he loves the feel of them. His outfits are also simple, compared to his sisters. He even counts as her accessory more times than not.
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adiabolikpastel · 2 years
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Winter is approaching, so I was wondering if Karl or Burai or Ajax have anything special for this time of year? Maybe a ball in honour of winter where everyone is obliged to attend. 👀
If so, what kind of attire would Calli, Skye, Yuuki, Yuki and the rest of your OCs wear?
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Winter sure is~ It's already snowed once where I live, what about you anon~? It's so cold out lately!
Yes~ Winter Balls are always a staple event in the Makai. For them, however, it has more of a Winter Solstice vibe than a Christmas one. Not to say that some don't celebrate that holiday - the balls are just more for the Solstice.
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If Karl or Burai or Ajax have anything special for this time of year?
Out of courtesy - no other kingdom holds their ball at the same time as the Demon King - Burai. Who's I would think is held on the actual Solstice night each year (@the-sloth-woman correct me if I am mistaken). It is also seen as an insult to hold one before the Vibora Clan. Or the night right after.
So, Karlheniz will then hold his own a few nights later - typically on the 23rd. The Adlers enjoy doing theirs on the 25th- which is the Human's Christmas Day. Adlers are known for embracing this holiday the most - as they have the largest family. Ajax makes it a point to have his entire family present.
Outside of those three - I would love to submit the headcanon that the Wolf Clan holds off their celebrations until the "New Year." While I am not sure if the Makai has the same world timing as the Human World - I like to think they celebrate officially 10 days after the Solstice because the hunting conditions will have settled by then.
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What kind of attire would Calli, Skye, Yuuki, Yuki, and the rest of your OCs wear?
Oh gosh ... ummmmm ... *searches Pinterest for a few day*
Tormented Reverie
Yuuki would wear whatever Kanato put out for her. While something warm would make sense, Kanato does have an ulterior motive for making her freeze a little. Something like This or That would be what he dresses her in.
Yuki, while probably wanting to just wear like a nice warm sweater - would not be allowed to do that. Laito would most definitly dress him in something like this.
Tormented Reverie: Another Daydream
Kanaye would attend in a more militant uniform or a hybrid of a royal attire. Something like This or That, he takes himself way too seriously.
Yukio would either match his brother engery, but take it to level 100 like this. Or he would do his own extra royal attire like this.
Rini would be dressed in the cutest little Lolita dress! Kanato would spare no expense to make her look adorable. Something like This or That would be perfect.
Excruciating Duplicity
Skye has to be extra - cold weather be damned. A dress like This or That would suite him - and he would steal all the attention.
Callista's kind of depends on what route is taken. If she is with Shu, then she is the Queen of the Bat Kingdom. She would wear something like this. If she is with Reiji, she is only the wife of the King's hand - she she can be more true to her Adler culture, and wear something like this.
Rose has to stay in uniform. So she would be wearing her same outfit she always wears. If Burai has her in something different it wouldn't be for the event.
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adiabolikpastel · 1 year
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Life Updates w/ Mun Yu~
Just a note: I started writing this in March... So, yeah that is how crazy things have been for me.
I thought I would take a moment to do a good- ol'fashioned Blog Update. Since the new year started - and my resolution to post more isn't going too well - I thought it might be nice to just clear the air.
Brush off the non-productiveness of the past, and look forward! With that in mind, let's dive in! Everything will be under the cut - if updates aren't your thing, no biggie. Thanks for the support, and I'll post more content soon!
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Mun Yu Updates
So, what's been up with me? What's the happs? Well - after four LONG years I am finally getting my Bachelor's Degree. For those that might be new - I am an older college student, having wasted my first chance of going.
Originally, it was only to go back to finish my AAS in Early Childhood Education. Once that was done, however, I found the job market to be less than ideal. That being the case, I transferred to another college and began working towards a BA in Human Resource management. And now - as I stand but 3 more weeks away from completing that degree...
I have been asked by the college to continue my education - and will be starting the next chapter of this crazy journey. Starting next August - I will be working towards getting my MLD (Master's in Leadership Development) & MBA (Master's in Business Administration). I cannot properly express how crazy the idea of that is to me - I was never great in school and now all this... I feel so blessed to have this experience.
That has been my major focus - and it's literally a full-time job. On top of my actual full-time job. I also got married last October, to my best friend of 12 years. As we both enter into our thirties - we are looking to bring in another member of the family soon enough. Not just yet - but soon.
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Blog Now - What's Happening?
You know I wish there was more to post about. Truly I do. This blog is going to be 7 years old - and while it's come a long way, there isn't much to say right now.
I do have the L.E.M. art project continuing, we are officially on the last two boys. L.E.M. was such a huge accomplishment for me as a creator - even if it does exist outside of either canon. I enjoy going back and looking it over; just to see how far the blog has come.
TORMENTED REVERIE
Story-wise; super slowly I am working on publishing Yuuki's official story. My plan is to do each boy's route - complete with C.G.s (the first of which are done). Which will cover the month Yuuki was in the mansion before choosing Kanato.
After those routes are done, I want to make an overarching timeline post about where her story goes from there - then an epilogue just before Another Daydream. Those will also hopefully have art - which would be nice.
Yuki on the other hand - doesn't really have routes with the other boys. So I am wondering what the best way to tell his story is. I could just do it in sections and then break it into parts. I have seen OC blogs in the past do like diary/journal entries - which could be good for him honestly. Something like he was asked by Reinhart to keep a journal?
Yuki's storyline is one that I feel I have an idea of what I want, but I don't play with nearly enough like the others. So, that is definitely something I would love to work on in the new year. If you all are ever curious about him or the story - I am open for ask, they help me develop the story so much.
TORMENTED REVERIE: ANOTHER DAYDREAM
So, listen... these children got a lot of attention years ago. I don't feel so bad that they are getting ignored right now because of that. That being the case - I do have small things in the works for them. Nothing that is being developed at the moment though. My age old project Yukio in Wonderland is still something I want done, but I need a new artist for (and cant afford right now anyway). I do plan to work on getting sprites made for their older looks, mostly Yukio and Kanaye - Rini is set with what she has.
There is no official name for it - BUT - there is a sequel in the works for this time line. It follows Kanaye and Isabella (owned by @pureblood-prey) and their family / reign after taking over as King and Queen. With children of their own too - it's such a fun story that Mel and I have built over the years. Like I said though, no official name or release do that - but if you have any questions feel free to ask~!
EXCRUCIATING DUPLICITY
Ohh... this universe. I feel like it has so much going on, yet nothing all at the same time. There are a lot of OCs here, and I am trying to make them all cohesive with one another - the biggest part of that is that most of them have little to do with one another, which is kind of nice.
Skye's story is something I want to explore more. He has become such a presence on this blog - which I never thought possible. So thank you everyone for being so supportive of his chaotic a$$. I certainly never originally thought of his as Karlheniz partner - but I love where that plot is going.
Roselyn will probably never have a proper story, mostly because she is more of a background character. While she is there any around - having her own plot going on, it's not the focus, and we'll probably only see it in small doses. But you all ready know, if you want more Burai x Rose or just Rose content, all you gotta do is ask
Sweet baby Calli~ I know I have bit off so much with her story. Not only does she have two boys, which causes her story line to split - her family is super important to the natural order of the universe. It will probably be years upon years before I can properly give this story anything that it deserves. For now at least, Calli's story is the "Main Story" of the universe - where all others revolve around and have influences from or to the events in her plot.
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And... really that is all I have right now. Seriously, I started this in March and nothing really changed since I started till now when I am finally publishing it.
Once summer rolls around, and I am not weighted down with school work, I will 100% be able to focus more on the blog and releasing content. Thank you for your continual patients and support - truly it means the world.
For making it this far I will share a little inspiration board for the twins! I am so happy that you guys are excited for them. I swear I will answer the ask in my box today from my sweet anons. Thank you all again, we'll chat soon!
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