I love the dynamic between Scully and Doggett, and I think the parallel between his son’s death and his desire to protect Scully from what he experienced is so powerful.
We know his son tragically died, but it isn’t until Empedocles that we know just how much his experience of finding him mirrored Scully’s (i.e, stumbling across the dead body discarded carelessly in a field).
From approaching a group of people huddled around the body to your partner looking at you with despair, he’s been in her shoes
He knows what it’s like to see the body of someone you love more than anything lying lifelessly in a field.
I know him pulling Scully back is frustrating to us as viewers. We’ve watched Mulder and Scully for seven years, we know the depth of their love for one another, and it can be aggravating seeing someone coming in between them in such a devastating moment.
But thinking of it from his perspective is so heartbreaking.
He is haunted by the memory of seeing his son like that. That is how he remembers his little boy. It was cruel, senseless, and (until Release) a mystery.
He wanted to spare Scully from having that with Mulder.
If I’m remembering correctly, Reyes even said seeing him unmoving next to his son in that field was haunting, he was paralyzed with grief and shock.
Doggett was trying to do Scully a kindness because he’s still haunted from when he experienced something hauntingly similar.
Again, we don’t get to know that was his motivation until a few episodes later. But with how similar the framing was, we know that it was a purposeful parallel.
It’s heartbreaking to think Reyes recognized the similarities at the time they found Mulder, and she knew how re-traumatizing that would be for Doggett.
She watched him relive the worst moment of his life and try to intervene to prevent someone from experiencing what he did.
It reminds me of how Skinner knew how awful it was to deliver heart-shattering news and chose to intervene and save Scully from having to do it.
In both cases, it may feel like it wasn’t their place, but it came from a place of empathetic kindness.
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A favorite of mine The is Not Happening for the xfiles episode ask
a favorite of mine too!
something that i think about a lot with this is not happening is the unique perspective of grief that scully suffers in this episode. in a lot of ways, she's spent the past 3 months in the position that mulder was in for 27 years, stuck somewhere in between hope and grief.
in paper hearts, the father of the little girl whose body they found says, "i used to think missing was worse than dead, because you never knew what happened," and mourned that he was wrong. that it is worse to know. to know what happened to your loved one, the details of what they went through, what their fate truly was.
in this is not happening, scully is stuck in-between, and she's having to face pieces of knowing.
when the other abductees start to resurface, mulder is still missing. she still can't know for sure. but day by day, people are coming back.
"twelve years, i have never seen anything near this level of mistreatment," the doctor says about theresa hoese's condition.
"what's upsetting is...it's almost like people were experimenting on her."
"this young woman shouldn't even be alive."
mulder's still missing. scully still lives in-between hope and knowing. she can't be sure about anything. but it's starting to become clearer what "hope" is. that the "hope" she's holding onto is for him to be found, like theresa was found. that she's looking at her best case scenario, and it's "shouldn't even be alive" in a hospital bed.
and scully, who spent seven years of her life listening to two sides of every argument, who spent the last three months playing both herself, gets to see her worst case too.
gary cory is found dead.
she autopsies the body and lists the injuries.
she watches his friend's grief and witnesses the trauma of what was done to him. of what was being done to people, where she hopes mulder is.
so much of this episode and of scully's character as a whole, culminates in her and skinner looking up at the stars.
she tells him about standing outside that diner in california. talking to mulder about starlight. (she has memorized everything that he has ever said). how they talked about stars being billions of years old.
she tells him about how starlight never dies, how maybe it's the only thing that never does. that mulder said that's where souls are.
that she hopes he was right.
"souls traveling through time in starlight" was how mulder coped with the reality of samantha's death, the truth that she wasn't coming back. it's how he merged hope and knowing, after 27 years.
it's how he moved from tirelessly looking for her, to being "free" in the idea that she didn't need to be found, that she was at peace and that her soul was unrelenting, and close by.
scully has always understood what belief is to mulder, why he relies on it so heavily, and what her job is in countering it.
but after seven years of poking holes in every theory and offering opposition to every idea, she looks up at stars and wants to see souls.
she just hopes that he was right.
skinner responds by telling her, "if you're trying to prepare yourself, i want you to stop. nothing says we're gonna stumble over him in some field. nothing says he won't be fine."
you can spend your whole life trying to ready yourself with knowledge, you can try to shelter yourself in hope
but the reason why missing is not worse than dead, is because nothing can prepare you to know.
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The 5 stages of grief but make it about F1
Charles Leclerc in Ferrari - denial: ferrari hasn't won anything in 15 years but next year it will be the year Charles will win wdc, bc it's the 16th year and he will drive in the car with the number 16. right? right.
Mick Schumacher leaving: - the anger stage: im outside your door, stinky guenther, i am under your bed with a fucking knife.
Sebastian Vettel leaving - the bargaining stage: he might be back. others have been back. but he also deserves a break and to be with his family. i understand that. he might be back though.
Daniel Ricciardo leaving - the depression stage: the paddock will be fucking sad without him. there will be no pizzazz around. max will be perpetually sad. george will turn into a posh latte with regular milk again. daniel can't be gone.
Max Verstappen - the acceptance stage: the car is good, the team is good, he is a good driver, he is also a lovely cunt. simply lovely
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Fictober prompt #24: "Is it over? Is it really over?"
Fandom: The X-Files
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Warnings: mentions of torture
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Where A Million Stars Catch Fire
"Mulder!” Scully rushed to his side and knelt over him until she was practically lying on top of him, desperately feeling for warmth, a heartbeat, any sign of life. He bore none of the injuries she had seen inflicted on him in her nightmares, appearing in every way healthy and whole, like he was only sleeping.
Oh, God. Is it over? Is it really over?
“Mulder? Mulder, please wake up. You’ve got to wake up, Mulder. Listen to me, please.” She wept fiercely, the tears falling down onto his face. “I need you– we need you. Mulder, can you hear me? Mulder?”
Read the full story on Ao3
Tagging @today-in-fic @fictober-event @xffictober2023
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