“Metroid Prime 4: Edge” announced for upcoming Nintendo Switch Edge Deluxe!

FIJMU News 12-27-23 by Trent Rhinoblock

With today’s announcement of the new Nintendo Switch system, called the “Switch Edge Deluxe,” came the debut footage from its flagship game, Metroid Prime 4: Edge, which will take advantage of the new system’s “Edging Technology” that allows players to extend the gaming fun for hours beyond their previous limits.

According to Nintendo of America spokesman Ridley M. Kraid, “The world has waited a long time for the new Nintendo Edge Deluxe, and after so much time in anticipation of its release, we’re certain it will have a massive debut across the country. That’s why we wanted to make sure it comes onto the scene with a flagship game to continue the Switch’s domination of (and occasional submission to) the gaming market.

“Metroid Prime 4: Edge” will be the first game ever to use the Switch Edge Deluxe's ultra-haptic technology, which allows players to manipulate the controllers in new ways, including working the motion controls back and forth to build up energy, holding a spot just above the A button to hold back its release, and more. As extra targets flood the screen, the player can charge their arm cannon like never before possible in a Metroid game and shoot a massive load of enemies all at once. According to Kraid, “You won’t believe the blaster discharge possible once you’ve been Edging for hours, and with Nintendo, now you’re Edging with Power. It’s nuts!”

Nintendo, god, Reggie? any of you! If you’re out there, we just want one thing

Feel free to reblog, repost, or copy these images! Anything to spread the message!

WE WANT MIIS!

WE WANT TOMODACHI LIFE 2!

WE WANT MIITOPIA 2!

WE WANT LITERALLY ANY MII GAME!

"Switch 2" is absolutely going to be a fucked up Frankenstein's monster of a console, combining ideas from the DS, Wii U, and Switch into some dockable dual screen abomination that's uncomfortable as hell to hold but has bomb-ass games

RRRAAAAAHHHHHH

TOMODACHI LIFE IS COMING BACK SOMETIME IN THE FUTURE!!!!!!!

Whenever I make the mistake of checking in on the Metroid Prime 4 rumor mill, I end up wasting a bunch of time listening to youtube videos where a bunch of Gen Xers and early Millennial dudes with way too many consoles and a ridiculous pc gaming rig focus on the dumbest possible shit. Just an absolute circlejerk in that corner of youtube. Going on and on and on about how they hope the Switch 2 is going to have AI upscaling and 120 fps and insane graphics and Nintendo is finally gonna care about hirez horse testicles and Metroid Prime 4 is gonna make Prime Remastered look primitive by comparison. How Metroid Prime 4 should be a Switch 2 exclusive, (which is just insane to me given development was restarted in 2019, way before the Switch 2 was a twinkle in Nintendo's eye) or if it is cross-gen, the Switch 2 version looks so much more orgasmically betterer than the Switch version.

And you know what I want? I want the Switch 2 to fucking suck. I want it to be the graphical/processing equivalent of two Switches duct-taped together like the Wii was to the Gamecube. I want Metroid Prime 4 to be cross-gen and I want it to look the exact same across both releases, and I want it to look the exact same as Prime Remastered so more space and processing and dev efforts can go to other way more important things like good gameplay and world design and story. I will be happy, because Remastered was great as is, but I will be especially happy if Prime 4 and the Switch 2 in general sucks to these guys only. Either they'll shut up, or maybe, just maybe they'll reconsider their obnoxious expectations and skewed priorities.

My conspiracy for why Nintendo is currently going batshit with it’s DMCA takedown requests is because they’re about to pull a Wii U again, with the Switch 2, and they’re preemptively trying to penny pinch because they know sales are gonna either flop or fall off a cliff very quickly after launch.

After seeing what Microsoft and Sony are doing, the Steam Deck and other portable gaming machines come to market, they realized that their plans for the “Switch 2” weren’t gonna cut it, and now they’re panicking. They’re trying to do whatever it takes to keep their name relevant and penny pinch enough so they can hopefully cruise through the Switch 2 era without collapsing and get whatever the next-next console is gonna be, out, before too much damage occurs.

I will give anyone who likes this post $5 if the Switch 2 is announced in this week's Nintendo direct

are people actually upset about the switch 2 having ps4 level graphics?? that is the graphics of a non handheld console on a handheld console... whats the problem here?

What is your prediction for the roster of the next Mario Kart game? I've seen a lot of people saying characters like the koopalings, dlc characters, lakitu, and metal mario/pink gold peach won't be playable. I disagree with all of it. The next Mario Kart should have a bigger roster because its the newest addition to the series. I think some characters like cat peach and tanooki mario would be better as skins so hopefully they add skins. They could take a lot of them from tour if they don't want to make new designs. It's pretty ridiculous how people say the koopalings don't deserve to be in Mario Kart when they've been a part of main line mario games for a very long time. They deserve it more than some other characters. Someone seriously told me they all looked the same and were like the same character. Everyone can clearly see they all have different appearances, personalities, and voices. Even their stats are different. It's like saying luigi shouldn't be playable because he's "the same" as mario. I think all the dlc characters deserve to be in the next game too. It would be sad if wiggler, kamek, and pauline weren't in the game. Being able to play as lakitu is so cool since he's always the one counting down the race. A lot of people complain about the Mario Kart 7 roster but I like it a lot for the unique choices for new characters. Metal mario is too cool to not be in the game. I wouldn't care if they didn't bring back pink gold peach but she would be a cool peach skin. Skins changing the stats slightly would be an interesting feature. For new characters I think they'll add Prince Florian, a character from the next 3d mario game, hammer bro, monty mole, maybe goomba or chain chomp that would be funny, nabbit, I'm hoping for a pianta but that's not going to happen, toadsworth so people stop saying he's dead, and stella from the peach game. I know some of these are already in tour. They should make the paratroopa from double dash a skin for koopa. So what do you think?

i don't get how people can genuinely expect nintendo to make a switch 2, even getting mad at it not being revealed yet, like- when have they ever done something like that? plus, do we really need a switch 2? you're buying a switch for nintendo games, not for the latest and greatest from ubisoft or whatever, and nintendo games run perfectly on it so where is the issue? is it just at the concept of it not using the best hardware ever? can you really truly not stand to see a console with less terrafucks as another?

What's that? Yes, it's true! Episode two of Tempered Expectations is here, and this time Alicia gives you everything you need to know about Switch 2 rumors. RSS feed for podcast app users: https://temperedexpectations.wordpress.com/category/podcast/feed/

the thing about pokemon za not being released until 2025 is that it is most likely a switch 2 release. the switch 2 itself was actually rumored to have been released later this year for christmas but was said to have been delayed until 2025.

so game freak was most probably going to release pokemon za this year but the only thing that caused them to finally delay a game was *all of nintendo* being delayed

Persona 6 will come to Nintendo Switch 2

Hi-Fi Rush has been been rated for Nintendo Switch

Rumours of Hi-Ri Rush being released on the Nintendo Switch were swirling around long before Microsoft ever announced that it would be launching on PlayStation. Now, we’ve gotten a semi-official confirmation that Hi-Fi Rush is indeed coming to Nintendo’s console. PEGI (Pan European Game Information) is the official rating board for games within Europe. Any new game being released in Europe has…

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My Nintendo Direct/Game Announcement and Release Predictions Before Switch 2!

I put the Olympics logo under “JRPG” in case A New Mario And Sonic Olympic Games gets announced.