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#Sometimes I think about the theories I have come up with
obsob · 1 day
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I'm an artist who has difficulty colouring work, so if you're ever comfortable sharing i would love to see what the process of someone else to who colouring does not come natural look like! I love how your colours turn out, so warm and cohesive without being washed out. When I look at the process of other artists I admire they often seem to hit on their colours quickly, so it would be very helpful to see the process of someone who struggles more, like I do.
hi !!! i posted process vids for these three drawings which u might find helpful but they go pretty quick so i will try and explain more!
-my big number one advice is doing underpainting, this is all the yellow u see me use in the process vids. this is partly so i can alpha lock them for easy colouring but also, i use semi-opaque brushes when doing my main colouring which lets the yellow peek through every part of the drawing, giving everything a uniform undertone! very very helpful i recommend it a lot :3 things like overlay / multiply layers can help bring all your colours together as well and make a big difference. i also like to use soft light / subtract layer modes. just play around!! i do however think its good practice for your drawing to work without those modes as well, you dont want to rely on them to make the drawing work, just enhance it! heres a drawing of mine with and without the various layer modes - a big difference and more impactful with, but the drawing on the left still looks fine without!
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-as for how i go about choosing colours i hve two ways. mainly nowadays i just eyeball it but i also sometimes use colour pallets like these! how i make these palettes is by auto generating palettes from images in procreate which is so so helpful. if u see artwork u rlly like the colours its a great way of trying those colours for yourself without having to do as much thinking. when u get a sense for it u can start coming up with your own palettes!
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-i cant talk abt this without talking about colour theory. i am not an expert but its really worth familiarising yourself with what colours work / contrast each other. if u want to, for example make a warm toned drawing u simply just stay away from cool toned colours! u can still have them in, but there still needs to be a warm undertone that can be done with the underpainting or just eyeballing! i hvent used palettes for a long while now and ive always found it easier to choose cohesive palettes with these than using the like big wheel or smth.
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i prefer picking colours like this bc i feel like i can more easily control the undertone, than if i was picking off a colour wheel etc.
a lot of my success just comes from practice and experience! but smtimes colours r just stinky n are hard to get th vibes for . i usually just walk away and take a break and smtimes have an epiphany and other times if ur rlly struggling just throw the whole colouring out and start again !! and if ur rlly rlly rlly struggling take a look at ur actual drawing again. smtimes if ur composition/ shading etc is weird it makes the colours go on wack bc u dont have a good foundation!!!!!
anyway i dont think i explained this well. go forth and colour ur brain is big etc
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“Nice girls also aren't going for a 40-something "but Daddy I can fix him" junkie drunk with untreated mental illness and possibly a paranoia disorder.” Sometimes I wonder if they regret marrying. They both had people tell them to slow down and get to know each other and we all know how that turned out. I’d say she’s back to where she started when they met but she’s not. She doesn’t have a blog like the Tig (it wasn’t big but it was something and it had a focus). Yes, she’s given out jam but that’s it, there is nothing else so far. ARO is just a website right now. Yes, her house is bigger, but if rumors are true, it’s not insurable due its location (fires and mudslides) and its daily maintenance costs have to be a drain. Yes, she has a title but no one cares about it except her. Yes, she’s more well known now but does not have a good reputation in several countries and most people just aren’t interested.
As for him, for as awful as he’s shown himself to be, he did give up pretty much everything for her. Again, it was a choice he made even after his friends and family warned him. I’m not surprised he’s floundering now.
I wonder if they’ve had moments of whether or not this marriage and all it entails is worth it. Sometimes getting what you wish for comes at a price.
I think Meghan still thinks everything she’s gone through has been worth it. Her life has completely changed - she has a $14 million mansion in Montecito, she’s besties with the Kardashians, she’s spent private time with the most iconic royal family, she has designer clothes, she has people working for her, she gets to talk about herself, she has her own Netflix show and a podcast, and she gets to travel for free around the world on other people’s money.
Remember where she was in 2015 when this started: a 2-bedroom rental condo in Toronto, a job she wasn’t very important in, Canadian socialite friends that no one in the US knew at all, mall clothes, a blog no one followed, she had to talk about work instead of herself, and she had to pay for her own traveling (which she subsidized through her blog that no one really paid attention to)a
Yeah, she also has money problems and a husband who doesn’t give two cents about the way he looks and smells (allegedly) and her kids are the subjects of some nasty conspiracy theories. But all that can be ignored with “out of sight, out of mind.” So she doesn’t really see this as consequences, the way you or I would.
She loves this life. She loves that people know who she is and she loves that we have opinions of her. It doesn’t matter if we love her or hate her, as long as we feel something about her. Indifference will be what kills Meghan; we see this in the way the BRF and Hollywood bigwigs are treating her. They’re completely indifferent to her and what she does and it’s fun to watch her scramble and beg for their attention.
Unlike Harry. Harry wants to be loved and respected. He wants us to fall over ourselves in worship and praise of his name. Indifference kills him too, but hatred and dislike are even worse. That’s what William does - he’s not indifferent to Harry, he’s actively staying away and making his dislike known by refusing to meet with him or answer his phone calls.
So Harry sees the consequences of this marriage much more than Meghan does because he has literally lost everything; he lost the status that made people respect him, he lost the friends that liked him, he lost a public that adored him, and he lost the family that loved him.
That’s why Meghan has to be really strategic with the divorce, if she’s the one who leaves. Harry has literally and metaphorically given everything up for her. She’s going to have a very hard time convincing the court of public opinion that she’s miserable being attached to Harry because of all that he’s lost and gave up for her.
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frangipanilove · 2 days
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The Green(e) Route Revisited
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This is not really a theory, it’s more like wild speculation bordering on outright fan fiction. I’m bringing it up because it sort of ties into my previous couple of theories on pilgrimage and Santiago de Compostela (here and here). Additionally, if the rumors about possible filming in Spain for season 3 prove to be right, this could potentially come into play.
Back in the ancient days of Early TD, one of my favorite theories was the one that combined some of the writings on Morgan’s wall from clear, namely the “green route” seen on the wall behind Rick in the pic above, with the "green route" seen on the terminus map below.
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TD latched on to the “green route” from Morgan’s wall as a potential way of bringing Beth back after her “death” in 5x8 Coda. Back then, we were all open to the idea that Morgan would somehow be involved, seeing as he featured so prominently in the coda after 5x8 Coda. And it was easy to think of the “green route” reference from 3x12 Clear as a reference to Beth, whose last name is “Greene”.
I talked about how Morgan had all these pilgrim vibes about him when we saw him in season 5 here. When I researched the pilgrim symbolism around Morgan the first time around, some time after 5x8 Coda, I came across evidence that the northern way to Santiago de Compostela is sometimes referred to as the “green way”, or the “green route”. This is apparently due to the vibrant colors of the landscape and vegetation along the northern Spanish Atlantic coast, and because of the discussions around the “green route” in TD at the time, this tickled my TD senses immensely.
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This was also when I was starting to research the Sirius and North Star symbolism, as well as other astronomical references such as the Venus symbolism. It seemed like a pretty convenient coincidence that the name “Santiago de Compostela” refers to the “way under the field of stars” under which the pilgrims traveled to reach their destination. And on top of that, the “green way/green route” is literally “the Northern Way” which potentially could be a tie in with the “North symbolism" we’ve seen around Beth so much.
However, the pilgrim symbolism in TWDU didn’t really go anywhere… until it suddenly did. A St. Christopher medallion, which had been central to my initial theories on Morgan as a pilgrim, showed up if FTWD 6x2:
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And now, after TWDDD 1x6 Home, we’ve had the first explicit mention of Santiago de Compostela, in that Losang, leader of The Nest, first came into contact with Laurent and the nuns after returning from a pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostela:
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And obviously, we now have all these rumors that Daryl might be going to Spain for season 3.
In the original “green route “ theory from back in the days, @bluesandbeth theorized that the “green route” mentioned on Morgan’s wall was a reference to the green route on the terminus map, which ultimately ended up by the coast, offering a potential way for Beth to make her way to Alexandria Safe Zone by boat. Of course, it didn’t turn out like that, but I always loved the theory, it was well researched and plausible. And while it didn’t happen the way we first thought, I don’t think the “green route” symbolism has been fulfilled in any way, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s still very much in play.
Also, in 5x6 Consumed, we saw a very prominent green arrow, quite literally seconds before Carol and Daryl ran into Noah, which ultimately led them to Beth. It really feels like the green arrow, or the “green route”, is something that foreshadows a “destination” where Beth Greene is to be found. I don’t remember who first discovered that particular connection, I just know it wasn’t me. Whoever it was, it’s a great observation! (ETA; it was @galadrieljones)
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(Thanks for the screenshots @wdway)
And for what it’s worth, the green arrow in Consumed pointed to a “skybridge”. I’ve recently talked a lot about bridges, ladders, stairwells and elevator shafts as metaphorical passages through which the characters can travel, and this is a perfect example of that. The green arrow (green route) pointed to the skybridge (metaphorical passage between the realm of the dead and the realm of the living), meaning it led to Daryl and Carol finding Beth. She went from being metaphorically trapped in the "realm of the dead" to being found alive in the "realm of the living". And it happened after meeting Noah on a skybridge.
Noah...
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..who was wearing a t-shirt with a stylized version of the blue heron last seen in 4x12 Still:
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I’ve talked about the symbolism around the heron in many posts. It was Noah’s t-shirt that foreshadowed the episode where we saw the second blue heron painting, in an episode that foreshadowed Rick’s “death” and “resurrection”. And the blue bird symbolism is still going strong in TWDU. It lead Daryl to Beth once, I believe it will do it again eventually.
So, if the rumors about filming in Spain are true, could the “green way/green route” to Santiago de Compostela be key to a reunion between Daryl and Beth once again? The Northern Way starts in San Sebastián, just south of the French border, and interestingly, in TWDDD 1x1, we actually see Daryl move his finger across a map, from Marseille, France, where he washed up on the shore, to….
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…literally San Sebastián, Spain. I’m not exaggerating, San Sebastián, starting point for the Northern Way, the Green Way, the Green Route to Santiago de Compostela, is LITERALLY right under his finger in this screenshot.
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Could be a coincidence, sure. But it’s a very compelling one.
The filming in Spain hasn’t yet been officially confirmed as far as I’m aware, which is why I initially said that that this was more fan fiction than actual theorizing. There’s not really a whole lot of tangible evidence to support these speculations at this point. However, the stuff I wrote about in the pilgrim posts, such as the St. Christopher medallion and the reference to Santiago de Compostela, they are all canonically confirmed in the show. And so are the references to the “green route” from Morgan’s wall from 3x12 Clear, it exists in the canon of the show.
The symbolism around the green route hasn’t been fulfilled yet, and it is a fact that the Northern Way of the Camino de Santiago starts in San Sebastián, it is a fact that it goes through “Green Spain”, and if that’s not enough, there has always been an absolute abundance of “north” references around Beth.
And coincidence or not, Daryl did put his finger directly above San Sebastián on the map from 1x1….
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kanmom51 · 2 days
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I think I read somewhere in a blog that Jikook were broken up for some time in late 2019 to early 2020, so ON era and BS, but then reading another post the person said during the bts of black swan Jikook were flirting and JM was trying to get back together. But it’s contradictory because how can both be true? I admit that during the ON video shoot they seemed to not engage much, but that’s it. During their promotions in February they seemed to engage very little too, during car pool karaoke and the Grammys etc. But I would take that to mean they were trying to be professional (which after the backlash of cancel jikook in late 2019 they might have been told to do?). Same as in August 2019 when the person said there was also tension, but was there? From what I saw of the same time period all that happened was JM went on a few trips, not sure why that would mean they were in a bad place, especially when we got footsiegate in bv4. They were fine before JMs trips, fine when the boys were planning bv4, fine on JKs birthday and JK saying he spent time with JM and Hobi in the 1st episode of BV4 and even in his mini video to Jk before his flight home JM saying he’d seen JK only a few days ago?
It all reads to me like a K drama and I don’t agree that their relationship is like that, yes they fight and have moments of tension and sometimes we can see that in their interactions, but to break up? Would they? What I mean to say is if people view Jikooks relationship like that and live and thrive off the drama what’s the basis to say they are even a couple because all that reads toxic af and that’s not at all what comes across as the real them.
What do you think?
Hey love, again.
😄
So, just posted your previous ask to see that you yourself kind of answered your own ask here.
Basically you reached your own conclusions and pretty much think the same as I do, and as I tried to express in my reply to your previous ask.
Anyway, I agree.
Their relationship is not a soap opera lie relationship. It's a healthy long term relationship. Loving, long lasting and stable.
Yes to ups and downs, just like any healthy long term relationship. But definitely not the level of drama that people love to give it. Perhaps it being a little too stable and boring is what makes people have that need to 'liven' it up a little with tales of betrayals and breakups and so forth, all to make it more 'interesting', more to talk about, right?
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tsams-confessions · 2 days
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While I understand where Earth is coming from, I'd rather Ruin not get potential sacrificed to bring Solar back as I like how morally grey Ruin feels as a character. He's fascinating to me
I really liked Solar, but I think there's more opportunity in the show for him to stay dead and have Eclipse gradually fill his space. NOT REPLACE SOLAR as there will never be another like him, but purely to fill the space Solar left in this little family. Be it family friend or future member; like that one cousin that you don't talk to a lot but lives in the same town so you see each other sometimes
Earth and Eclipse are shown to have looks to be a budding friendship with awkward beginnings, and it's sweet and clumsy. The whole "I'm a monster" bit got to me because it was a glimpse of vulnerability from him in front of someone, of how he sees himself. How she responded was nice, and it's rather subtle, but he sounds like he was trying not to get emotional since she metaphorically touched him
He asked her for a therapy session UNPROMPTED by someone, too, and at least to me, that shows he has at least a tiny bit of trust in her. Plus, he didn't like Ruin talking about her and has visited her before. He cares about to some degree
Now, obviously, we don't know exactly what Dark Sun did to him, but it is likely that whatever was done is the reason why Eclipse wants a new suit so that Dark Sun can't whatever he did to him. The thought of using the old suit if he gets a new one to use as a trade lives sacrifice to get Solar is nice in theory but there's no guarantee that that's how it would work out nor is it known that Solar wouldn't end up half conscious, or something negative in general, upon return because of it
So Eclipse reasonably starts to think about self-sacrificing himself instead since most don't like him and he didn't want to be brought back to begin with. "Going away to a different dimension to get away from the drama" can easily be seen as the cover up for the act
I think Earth has started to give him hope that he could have a better life, and someone in the comments of the episode said it too, but he didn't seem happy that she said she'd have Ruin sacrificed. It shows that she, too, likes him to some degree and said she cared about Eclipse. I'm certain he wanted her to say him so that he wouldn't have a doubt about sacrificing himself, he very much feels likes he's been thinking about it and the Solar situation as a whole for a while
It felt like he wanted Earth's answer to be all he needed to commit to it instead of being conflicted about the idea still. Because if even the "goodie two-shoes" of the group couldn't tolerate him, what's the point of him being around when he doesn't appear to be trying to be a threat to them? A bothersome cat at most is what he currently is, while he seems to be trying to figure himself out
Sorry for how long this ended up being!
.
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annisshifting · 2 days
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Shifting Advice that no one asked for.
I don't know why I'm writing this. No one asked, but I'm doing it anyway because why not? Maybe someone might actually find this helpful. So I'm shooting my shot into this void.
Q: Best shifting method?
A: We all know there isn't one "best" method, because the "best" is subjective yada yada. What your probably trying to ask is "I don't feel like this method is working how do I fix it?" Which here is a way to "fix" you can do to a method you like.
First, find the parts you don't like or get frustrated with. Take a moment when you're not solely focused on shifting and go through the method. Find the parts that make your brain go "yeah, no."
Next, decide what is you don't like about it. Don't wanna count? Wanna visualize something different? Takes too long? Figure out what it is about the method that bothers you.
Change it, look into other methods and add and take away until you have a method that is basically second nature to you.
I personally, listen to rain sounds, and invision that I'm half asleep listening to people in my DR talking. It's just what I was left with after working with the Alice in Wonderland method for so long. It feels completely natural to me and it feels like how my method should be.
Q: What happens when someone tries to wake you in your CR?
A: Now, this question is a little more complicated, but that's mainly because of what your personal beliefs are.
You see, this life we live is crazy weird. I'm not gonna lie it is, so don't stress out this decision, because it's completely possible that both these things are true at the same time.
In the Multiverse theory, you will wake up and respond as normal, because time is already a loose thing when it comes to shifting. So when someone comes to get you, you will already be back. It's a bit headache inducing if you think too long on it.
In the consciousness theory though, is where this gets a little weirder, but in the simplest way I can think of explaining this is, nothing happens in your CR when your not here because you're not here to witness it. It would be like someone hitting pause on a movie. Nothing happens well the movie is paused.
Deciding which theory you like more could help you with shifting.
Q: I haven't shifted yet and I don't know what to do :(
A: I'm not gonna give you that "shifting is so easy" and the "everyone can do it just believe" speech that has been given thousands of times. That's not what you're looking for.
I understand your pain, I do. As someone who has been attempting to shift for four years, I have been beaten black and blue over my time and it sometimes feels like it won't get easier.
But I hold out hope that it will.
All I can really suggest is when it feels like nothing is working. My suggestion is to look at the parts that frustrate you, they make you upset for a reason. Reverse engineer until you find the source of the problem, even if the answer is something that you don't like. I promise that facing that problem head on will make journey go so much faster then mine.
How much faster?
Well you might avoid writing shifting advice at three am to hide from the fact you feel lonely.
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completeoveranalysis · 7 months
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WELL!
I'm sure everything will turn out just fine for baby Watanuki!
What's the worst that could happen? Abandoned in a dimension alone without memories of his family or even knowledge of his own name??
Anyway! I really enjoyed this chapter, so I hope you enjoyed it also.
Very much looking forward to the eventual horror that is slowly, slowly approaching.
One day I may even see it.
But until then! Thank you to everyone for reading along with, and extra thank you to my patrons! It helps me secure the time to do this at all, so it's greatly appreciated on every level.
First Tier of Patrons
Rien [Ri]
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Jordan Fredriksz
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And the Higher Tier of Patrons:
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Until next time don't forget to sleep! Get lots and lots of sleep!
Just stay away from the dream dimension and whatever nonsense might be going down over there. It's always way wilder than it's worth.
See you next time!
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liesmyth · 1 year
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I appreciate that TLT fandom meta going around that's like "you're all so smart but let's remember the sins of hubris of the bbc sherlock fandom" because yeah! Good reminder! Theorizing is fun but also sometimes you connect the wrong dots! Sometimes the curtains are just blue!
Personally. I'm ready to have every single theory and headcanon I ever conceived personally debunked by Taz. I'm fine with it. I've accepted it.
EXCEPT for Vagina Dentata Alecto. Sorry to say. Unless AtN includes a very detailed first person POV of Harrow eating out earth barbie pussy and confirming firsthand with her tongue that there are no teeth down there, I will keep believing that she has teeth down there. I simply am perceiving the truth.
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segasys · 6 months
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playing around with some nightcat/inv designs, partially inspired by @faelingdraws and @dieselpvnk's designs
also i really like plural nightcat/inv by faeling, so im adopting that for them if you dont mind, but if thats not ok please tell me!!
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lover-of-mine · 7 months
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i’m always interested in your analyses of the blue-green thing! colour is such a cool way of expressing themes or parallels and when you look at it laid out with all the couples, it’s so clear and non coincidental lol
“up until 6b they were really careful with this particular implication of romantic undertones with buddie and that's out the window now” is this in reference to how they carefully set up buddie’s themes and storylines over 5 seasons and then fucked it up in just a few 6b episodes? 😅
because honestly that’s part of the reason why i don’t have much hope for canon in season 7, i feel like they’ve suddenly backtracked on their relationship for some reason and are gonna go all no homo and/or just ruin them completely
post about the blue and green thing
Okay, I'm gonna go conspiracy theorist here, and I may be giving the showrunners too much credit, but here's the thing, we know the threat of cancellation made them change things around during 6b, there's a very clear tone shift, they changed episode names, called actor back for reshoots, so they changed the way the season was supposed to go so it would work as a nice packaged little happy ending if they got cancelled. Personally, I believe that there is some higher plan with Buck and Eddie going on here, I think they are a slowburn that is still burning, and personally, that needs to burn a little bit more until they can have a relationship that would work (getting Buck back in therapy and letting them talk would be ideal) and if you wanna jump ship go for it, I don't blame you, this shit is frustrating. But the thing is, they are very careful about how characters are constructed, and Buck and Eddie exist as mirrors of each other, and they also mirror canon romantic couple, bathena being the most blatant one. And they make a point to make sure that if you look at it closely, you can pick up on some romantic undertone, most major buddie scenes have that feeling that leaves you wondering. And it's not like the show doesn't know how to write friendships, because they do, so... choices. But going back to season 6, it might just be me, but I don't want them to get together for the sake of them getting together, there's a lot of build-up surrounding them for me to be satisfied with "and they kissed roll credits" (i love you *falls to gay superhell*, oh he had complicated feelings over the jeep) so I don't think they fucked it up, I think they didn't have the time to playout what they wanted to do with buddie in the space they had in season 6 and voted against rushing it since there was a chance the show was going to get picked up by someone else. Because it is still very easy to write off both Natalia and Marisol and keep whatever plan they might have and if they didn't get picked up just shoving them together would be unsatisfying. (In the end, it was unsatisfying anyway because the way they wrote the season makes a real effort into painting Buck, Eddie, and Chris as a family unity, so most things that don't end with them acknowledging this are unsatisfying, but it's an easy fix because the show didn't end, so)
Because, in the end, they are purposely writing Buck and Eddie as mirrors of each other, and it goes down to the first death on the job for both of them being someone falling to their death. You have the first love that ran away from them and came back without giving them real closure, you have the rocky relationship with their parents, you have the relationship they were pushed into by other people (Eddie and Ana and Buck and Ali if that's not clear), you have the way that Shannon is introduced and the next episode Buck gets a girlfriend, Shannon dies? Next episode, byebye Ali, Eddie starts dating Ana? Next episode, let's bring Taylor back into the mix, Buck is dating Natalia? What a wonderful time to have Eddie decide he's ready to put himself out there. You have the late confirmation they are the same age. You have the way they both escaped home, the way they found themselves in firefighting. You have the pretty blunt parallels between the shooting and the lightning and the well and the lightning, you have Eddie's will and the way Eddie decided to hide it (because they could have Eddie talk to Buck before changing and I've seen this playout between friends in other shows, but the choice to hide it gives a different feeling), you have multiple confirmations that Buck sees Christopher as his own, you have Eddie being hurt being Buck's berzerker button. One or two things are an accident, this many? They're on purpose, and I chose to believe there is some bigger, longer plan in action here. Sometimes I feel like there's a large percentage of the fandom who doesn't understand the stakes behind a network slowburn. Even shows like castle or the mentalist, where you KNOW they are gonna end up together, took like? 6 seasons? of build-up for something to happen? And like, I want them together, but with everything we have around them, I want them together in the right way, and yes, I think the show is delaying them because the stakes keep getting higher so it's harder to make it work, but I do have faith they can make something good work, just look at everything about them from 6x10 to 6x13.
Also, that particular statement was just about the blue and green thing because I actually looked at every scene where they are together, and they are never in those colors except for those two scenes, and the choice of shades of blue and green is very on purpose to be on accident, you know what I mean? And Buck and Taylor have multiple blue and green scenes, to pick the shades from the shooting is insane really.
Everything is on purpose, but a tv show is not like a book or a movie where everything is gonna be contained, you need to let the story evolve and adapt to the circumstances in which is being aired, and personally, I think 6x16-6x18 are just a detour, some construction on sunset lol, I think they had a choice to keep the season the way it was supposed to go and risk leaving the show feeling unfinished or shift things around and just leave Buck and Eddie feeling unfinished and they went with the second option, because it had less consequences.
Season 7 could absolutely go just kidding, no homo, but the thing is, you have two characters whose storylines are deeply tangled together, you can just sit them down, have them talk, say "you're my brother, dude" and goodbye, they're platonic best buddies. But I also don't think they would draw such a hard line because us crazy buddie shippers keep watching the show in the hopes of seeing them in the same frame together, and I feel like a significant part of people could give up the show altogether if they make such a blunt statement. And the showrunners know that, keeping us in the will they won't they thing helps their numbers and we are a significant enough portion of the viewers to make a difference. The hope of buddie brings audience to the show so I wouldn't expect a no homo thing. Or any hard line between them really.
But what do I know? I'm just a girl with a blog and a hyperfixation lol
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softshuji · 5 months
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y'know it's a night when hal sits and eats cereal in the dark room at 1.30am.
#i was thinking abt it earlier#but i've been crying so much lately like so much. almost every second day if not every day and i dont know why#actually i do kinda know why.#i think im hitting my limit with a lot of things and one of them is my parent dumping their problems on me#earlier today my mom told me again abt the whole debacle with my dad cheating on her multiple times and everyone knows i find this subject#too much for me i dont tlike to think about it or anything and im so tired of hearing it and especially when i lived through it trust me i#was literally there the whole cheating subject is very raw to me for many reasons and im just tired of being the emotional dump so often#especially because she always comes to me for everything all the time and im so sos tire d#everyone always tells me i should consider my own needs as a person and its okay to have them and yk in theory i agree with this but i just#cant. i grew up not having any needs met so how can i let myself have them now it makes me feel absolutely awful with myself to even#consider having to ask for something off someone and yet i know how wrong this is iknow needa and desires and wants are natural#but mine have always been on the back burner for everyone else. so its' no surprise ive let myself think im something to be used for other#peoples sake. whether that be physically or emotionally and especially the latter. because thats how i see myself someitmes. something#something to make people feel betetr about themselves that has no use outside of how i make them feel - just something to use until they#move onto the next best thing. something more entertaining and better value whatever that might mean something with less feelings less#sensitive. it feels like sometimes thats what i am. the indestructible never breaking hal that somehow has a solution to everything and can#always be there to fix every issue and is there to make people feel better but needs nothing in response#and god it really does feel like my problems dont mean anything to anyone#it does feel like no one thinks theyre worth anything#not worth listening to not worth thr same attention etcetc and yknow what i hate hate hate asking for attention and yet i get upset when i#feel like im not actually being heard or listened to#and i find it happens so often. sometimes i wanna hear it just once for once i wanna hear 'hey its okay to be upset i wish i could hug you'#or something like that god i dont want to be strong and nursing my wounds in private anymore#god i want a hug so bad and someone to just let me cry on them just once i want to be held and told someones got me instead of me doing it#for everyone else all the time#is thisselfish? it feels selfish to say#this is why it affects me so deeply whenever anyone does validate me or tells me its ok to want things or that im loved or anything nice#god i cant handle niceness at all it feels like it knocks me so bad it takes me ages to recover#and yet somehow all i can tell myself is that theyre only saying nice things because theyre being obligated to and not becayuse they feel#like they actually like me
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oatbugs · 2 months
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omg i FEEL you about the asd articles... i'm cuttently studying psychology and THIS makes me wanna go and pursue a job in research after graduating :')
yeah !! you should! i study a very interdisciplinary degree and out of all the fields I study in (ML/phil/psych/neuro) psychology has the most inconsistent, outright harmful, sometimes misinformed-at-best info sprinkled into publications and even lectures and it's a genuine source of frustration ! we need def need more researchers committed to accuracy and fairness and eliminating stigmas, biases, etc. :)
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sunnykeysmash · 2 years
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I still believe my beloved theory that Dennis never actually went to North Dakota and just hid in the vents and lived in Charlie's bad room to eavesdrop on the gang for their reaction of him leaving, planning to rub it in their face and be quickly done with it, but it never came
#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#always sunny#dennis reynolds#I MEAN WOULDN'T THAT MAKE HIM SUPER PATHETIC?? PLUS#it explains why he was able to make such a timely entrance. because he literally could hear them thru the vents#this theory was born from that s13 promo footage with him with the axe if you remember#I ALSO HAVE A TWIN HC THAT SOMETIMES HE WOULD EVEN COME OUT IN THE BAR ITSELF AND THEY NEVER SAW HIM HE WAS LIKE A GHOST#which makes sense to me because writing yourself out of a show is like narrative death#which he did by moving out... or SAYING HE WOULD......#guys i promise you this guy NEVER WENT TO NORTH DAKOTA!!!! NEVER EVEN SEEN IT!!!#he overheard the gang in the bar for a WHOLE YEAR (i believe it was? at least a year? im rusty on this detail)#and they never spoke about him once#HE CAME BACK IN THE S13 PREMIERE WHEN HE SAW THE DENNYS SEX DOLL AND IT WAS THE FIRST TIME ANYTHING DENNIS WAS BROUGHT UP#he saw the chance and took it. thinking ''yes! they do miss me!!'' which is what he originally wanted to hear and see#or rather... OVERHEAR.... FROM THE VENTS.... AS IN . LIKE HE HID IN THE BAR AFTER HIS SCENE OF LEAVING BECAUSE HE WANTED TO#show it to them and hear them miss him and then jump out and be like HAH!!! YOU CARE ABOUT ME!!!!!#but he never got the chance to jump out and so he just kept waiting. and waiting. for any mention of him. and it took [one year?]#this is my theory#I've had for years!#but i don't have much proof other than logical dot connecting. i just think it's neat :)
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#not to be weird on main but jaysteph hallmarkesque fic where it's like. steph has been away at college#and comes back to gotham on holiday break absolutely jonesing to get back into ''the family business'' aka vigilantism#she and jason were childhood acquaintances (schoolbus theory!!!) and worked together a bit before she went to school#steph has an argument with tim about something stupid (no they're not dating at this point they're just besties and both a bit petty)#so they're at odds and the whole family is a bit tense bc there's a Big Case going on and B is away on JL business#(B has promised he'll be back in time for Christmas. he is SCRAMBLING to keep this promise.)#anyway: cue steph deciding to make things a little easier on dick by handling arrangements for The Christmas Eve Gala TM#and recruiting jason (who is honestly just along for the ride/lowkey keeps mom-friending literally everyone in the absense of bruce)#they end up doing Shenanigans while trying to pull this event off and not cause any more trouble for alfred#while also working that Big Case during the nighttime and dealing with regular Family Tensions.#steph is also conflicted about transfering back to gotham u or staying with her current program that isn't really doing it for her#(jason is also considering enrolling in college now that he's legally alive again and is struggling a little with Being Alive)#at some point they end up reminiscing about their shenanigans as kids who rode the same schoolbus#and there's this really emotional moment like ''sometimes i wonder why I'm even allowed to be alive. why did we get to come back''#and all that. steph has a mild existential crisis brought on by emotions running high and sleep deprivation#thats basically her asking how she's able to go to college. she should have brain damage after being technically dead for minutes like that#and jason is like ''i DID have brain damage'' and they just look at each other and it's like this *zing* moment#like hotel transylvania skkdfnskfnsk#anyway yeah college girl steph home for the holidays falling for the guy she used to sit with on the bus??? i am Thinking#also samsung needs to give me a starling emoji smh
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wp100 · 1 year
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kinda sad how much people will defend ai to the ends of the earth
like you really want robots to create art? the very thing you rely on as an escape that us humans have made since forever? sounds really miserable and dull
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asteralien · 2 years
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the visual imagery of a partially drowned cemetery is extremely cool in theory as a showdown spot but as someone who lives on the gulf coast, a few hours from new orleans, i am so so so unnerved by the idea. thats floating corpses o'clock right there. that's the swimming dead. like maybe it's a historical cemetery so theres no actual bodies left but STILL. get them headstones somewhere else for the love of god
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