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#Sleepless April Night 2022
vettelsvee · 2 months
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MEETING | Sebastian Vettel
f1 masterlist | history series masterlist
history series season 1: part 1 | part 2.1 | part 2.2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5
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summary: diana, after being accepted as a candidate for the toro rosso internship program, begins her not-so-wonderful journey in the world of formula 1 and meets her future husband, sebastian vettel, as well as her biggest nightmare, nico rosberg
word count: 5568
warnings: mentions of suicide, sexism.
taglist: [@theseerbetweenus @annewithaneofthegreengable] if you wanna be tagged in each part just tell me in the comments <3
¡! you can read the fanfic as diana or y/n, but the faceclaim will always be my girl emma stone :)
feedback is truly appreciated!
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2023
"Diana, are you ready?"
The woman's attention was immediately captured when Mark Webber, who had offered, along with Jenson Button, directing the documentary, spoke to her. Quickly, she put her mobile phone in her blazer pocket and nodded at the former driver, indicating that she was ready to start filming.
"Alright," Mark announced. "Remember, Diana, just as we rehearsed with your husband during the script reading: you introduce yourself, talk a bit about what you're currently doing, and then we start talking about your childhood, just from when you were born until you were accepted into the Toro Rosso internship program," the Australian said.
The readhead swallowed, sat better and looked directly into the camera, that was already recording without the woman being conscious.
Immediately, as if she knew what was happening, she began to speak to it:
"My name's Diana Vettel, I'm 34 years old and, as you might already now, I'm wife to four-time Formula 1 World Champion, Sebastian Vettel. However," she clarified, "I prefer to be known as his race engineer for ten years, from 2012 to 2022 and, currently, I'm the co-director, alongside Susie Wolff, of the F1 Academy," she smiled proudly.
Sebastian entered the studio where the shootings were taking place, and when he saw his wife so self-assured, he couldn't feel anything but proud of her. There was no doubt that those sleepless nights, consoling her tears for not feeling enough in a male-dominated world, and the years of visits to her psychologist, which she still attended, had had an incredible effect on her.
"Well, wait!" Diana suddenly exclaimed. "We can't forget that I'm the reason behind Seb's first victory in Formula 1. Monza 2008, to be more precise," she confirmed, causing laughter from the ones around her.
"We already know quite a lot about Vettel's childhood, but now: what can you tell us a little bit about yours?" Button inquired, sitting next to Mark behind the cameramen.
Diana tensed up. It wasn't that she was afraid to recall her childhood, but she didn't consider it significant enough to be in the documentary. Moreover, talking about her private life... let's just say she didn't like it a lot.
The German knew his wife so well that he could vence how she was feeling at the moment. She had the urge to get up and give her a comforting hug, but he also knew that the recording couldn't be interrupted. For that reason, he simply smiled at her from his seat while giving her a thumbs up.
Diana, after seeing Sebastian doing that, laughed.
Since 2008, halfway through her second year as a Mechanical Engineering student and after joining the Toro Rosso internship program, she didn't know how the guy who initially seemed to be a jerk, ended up becoming her whole world.
"It's quite simple, Jenson: I was born in Linz, Austria, on April 27, 1988," began the woman. "My mum decided to end her life when I was 14, back in 2002, and that was the main reason why my dad took both my sister and I to Spain so we could start all over again."
Diana stared into the camera, beginning to ponder the impression people might have of her after that brief introduction.
Mark adjusted himself in his seat, ready to shift the conversation away from the glances Sebastian seemed to be directing at him. He had been fortunate to get to know the couple during his time at RedBull, and he had no doubt that both of them had changed a lot since then, especially the German.
“But every bad thing has something positive, right, Diana?” questioned Webber. “You always say that, and the fact that you’re here now is proof of it.”
“Exactly,” continued Jenson. “This might sound a bit bad, but if that didn’t happen, you wouldn’t have met Seb.”
Mrs. Vettel nodded.
“It was all because of my father actually, who couldn’t bear the stares from neighbors, his coworkers, and the harassment my sister and I faced at school too,” explained the woman, her tears slightly evident. “We did it without thinking: we packed our most important belongings, my father quit his job and, a few hours laters, I was on a plane all the way to Barcelona, with no knowledge of Spanish and no expectations about what could happen in my new life.”
That made Sebastian remember one of the first conversations he had with Diana, where the young woman told him she felt more Spanish than Austrian.
“This is the first time I speak publicly about my childhood,” said Diana, wiping away smeared makeup with a tissue given to her by production. “I’m sorry, really: I always try to think that I’ve overcome it, but the fact is that you never really overcome it.”
“Do you feel more comfortable now that you’ve shared this with the audience?” Webber inquired in an attempt to console the young woman.
The redhead looked at Sebastian, who was visibly concerned at that moment.
“No,” she replied, “quite the opposite, actually. I think I’m even more vulnerable now, and social media criticism is going to pour in, but I’m glad I did it because I’ve taken a weight off my shoulders,” she listed, “and I also know that many viewers will realize the importance of mental health, especially in those moments when everything seems fine when it’s actually the opposite.”
“Is that a hint, sweetheart?”
Vettel, who already knew the answer, sarcastically commented. Still, he needed his wife to confirm it on camera.
“Everyone knows that when I gained confidence in myself, I never beat around the bush; this wasn’t going to be an exception.”
“What do you think is the highlight of your sudden move to Spain?” Button asked Diana.
“Being accepted into the Toro Rosso internship program,” she replied. “That’s when my dream of years started to come true, although hell also made its presence felt.”
Sebastian smiled, remembering it all too well.
The best was about to begin.
“Those who know me well know that I’ve been a Formula 1 fan since I was a child. 1994 is the year I remember the most, especially when Michael became world champion,” explained the Austrian, reminiscing early memories as an enthusiast of the sport. “I was only six years old, but that image is engraved in my memory.”
“For that reason, I decided to study Mechanical Engineering at Universidad Politécnica de Cataluña,” the woman continued in perfect Spanish, surprising everyone in the room except Seb.
“And that was before she even met me,” Sebastian chimed in, causing laughter among those present. “That was a great bonus.”
Taking the documentary seriously was going to be difficult, but as the woman used to say, within all those hard times, a laugh made it all forgettable.
“I studied for years, trying to give my best to get the highest grades,” Diana continued, “and I did it after achieving an average score of 9.28 out of 10 in selectividad, the Spanish entrance exam you need to take in order to study a degree.”
“Tell them if you really needed such a high score, Di.”
The girl laughed at her husband’s comment. She already knew where he was going with that.
“In fact, no: the cutoff score was, I believe, around a five out of ten. I just pushed myself to the limit because I was ambitious and wanted to be the best, too,” she smiled, a slight blush appearing on her cheeks. “Well, and I still like to be the best.”
“See why we got along so well from the beginning?”
“That’s debatable, Sebastian,” remarked Webber, “bet let’s let the viewers hear your story little by little.”
“Indeed, Mark,” agreed Jenson Button with him, “let’s take it step by step. Diana, what made you join Toro Rosso?”
2007 December 3rd
Barcelona, Spain
The first semester of the second year of Diana being a university student seemed endless.
Final exams were approaching, bringing with them the submission of multiple papers, projects, and even some practical written tests. Adding to this, her father had recently lost his job just a few weeks ago. It was easy to understand why the Austrian, who had considered herself Spanish for years, was dozing off in one of the chairs in Room 7, even though it was time for one of her favorite classes: Fluid Mechanics.
As soon as Dr. Martínez stepped into the classroom, all the students stopped talking. Even Diana, who had closed her eyes for a few seconds to see if she could quell her sleep, opened them quickly. The woman, in her fifties, was one of the most beloved professors by students; at the same time, she was considered one of the strictest, and that's what made her one of the most wanted by universities not only in Spain but worldwide.
For this reason, and especially because she always fought for visibility of women in the scientific field, she was Wagner's favorite.
"Good morning, class," she greeted, positioning herself in the center of the platform where she usually lectured. A smile on her face appeared. "Before I start explaining the new topic, which I remind you is the last one for our January exam, I would like to share some news that I know will be interesting for most of you."
At these last words, those present began to pay even more attention, readjusting in their seats curious about what the woman had to announce. Diana was no exception.
"Some companies in the field of engineering have started offering scholarships for students like you to work with them while continuing their studies. For the most talented, I must say," she added with certain authority in her voice.
Excitement and anticipation for the announcement filled the room, where some surprised noises and, in other cases, disappointment, were heard.
"These scholarships offer the opportunity to have a unique experience, allowing you to enter the workforce earlier than expected. At the same time, it will help you start applying everything you have learned during this brief year and a half, and see if you are suited to do the job."
Murmurs began to fill the class. It was a truly incredible opportunity, and it would be rare for someone not to want to be part of it.
Diana, whose mind was always one step ahead, was already wondering which companies would be part of it. For that reason, she decided to raise her hand to ask.
"Miss, I would like to know if you could share more information about the companies that are offering these scholarships."
The woman nodded, thankful for the question from her favorite student and pleased to see her interest once again.
"Of course, Diana. There are leading companies in the field of automotive engineering, aerospace engineering, and something related to renewable energies, which are becoming popular. Each one has a different focus, with a wide variety of projects and areas, so I'm sure there will be interests for each of you."
The young woman's mind began to process all the information, looking through the possibilities the woman had mentioned. While her dream was to work in the automotive world that she was so passionate about, and the path was proving extremely challenging, the possibility of being awarded a scholarship was what made her cling to a distressing hope.
"To apply in this sort of internship program, you will need to send your CV and a letter explaining to the company why you would like to join them," the teacher explained. "Then, some responsible figure of the respective companies will choose the most outstanding students, I guess."
During the remaining class time, Diana could barely pay attention to the explanation. She was excited, and she would dare say scared, about this kind of talk that was taking place. Her innate curiosity made her want to know more. Therefore, when the teacher announced that the class had ended, and her classmates began to leave the room, the twenty-year-old started to pack her things slowly, making sure no one else was there before speaking with her teacher.
"Dr. Martínez, do you mind if I ask you some questions about the internship program?"
"Of course," she replied as she gathered her documents. "Tell me what's on your mind, Diana."
The girl tried to disguise her nervousness, clearing her throat before speaking.
"I have doubts about whether to apply to any of the companies. Honestly, I don't think they'll choose me because I'm a woman. I sometimes struggle to talk to my classmates, so I can't imagine what it would be like for me to apply for a position like that."
Martínez raised her gaze to the redhead, now dyed blonde, full of understanding.
"Diana, I understand that you're worried," she began, placing her hands on her shoulders, "but I want you to know that you are one of the brightest students I have had in these months, and I would even venture to say in my entire teaching career," she explained sincerely, earning an excited smile from the girl. "Keep in mind that, whatever you do, your gender doesn't have to be an obstacle for you to fight for what you want."
Those last words resonated strongly in Diana's mind, who was quite moved at that point. That was exactly what the young woman needed to hear.
"Also, I’d like to tell you something I haven't mentioned in class because I only want you to know, given your interest in a certain topic," the woman continued, further catching the student's attention. "The Toro Rosso Formula 1 team is offering a single position as an assistant for a race engineer, but I don't know which driver in particular."
Diana's eyes widened, not believing what she had just heard from her teacher. The idea of working in Formula 1 was the reason why she was there, striving every day even when she felt like giving up everything.
"Do you think I should send them my application, then?" Wagner asked, intending to make sure before making a hasty decision.
"Absolutely," Dr. Martínez affirmed firmly. "You are an exceptional student, and you have demonstrated great skills in just a year and a half of your studies, which impresses me quite a bit, to be honest. You have the potential to do great things within Formula 1, and I know you will go far if you make it to the sport."
As Diana continued to listen to the woman speak, she couldn't believe there was a chance, even if it was minimal, that her dream would come true. What she didn't like so much was the fact that the woman spoke as if she were already inside the world, but she could do nothing but get excited.
If her application was denied…
“By the way, Diana, are you free during the next hour?”
“Yes. In fact, I was about to head home,” answered Diana, questioning the woman in front of her. “Do you need something?”
The woman affirmed, nodding slightly.
“Let's create your cover letter and resume so we can send it as soon as possible,” she said, taking the lead. “I'm sure many of my colleagues in the department know this information just like me.”
The young woman agreed, and immediately they headed towards Martínez's office, trying not to attract too much attention among the students and, above all, hurrying as much as possible. In those moments, time was of the essence.
Once there, the professor took a seat in front of the computer and offered Diana the seat opposite her. Before the redhead had even let go of her belongings, the teacher was already pulling a stack of papers and a couple of pens from one of the desk drawers.
"Your resume comes directly from our database, but the cover letter doesn't," she explained briskly. "I want you to write down whatever you feel is the reason why you need that position at Toro Rosso."
Having said that, Martínez put on her glasses and focused her gaze on the screen, ignoring Wagner. The girl didn't know what to do or say. Who was she supposed to write to, Franz Tost? No, she was sure team bosses weren't the ones in charge of reading those letters, if anyone read them at all.
"Try to make it as natural as possible," the woman commented to her student without looking at her. "Make them see that you have a passion for engineering, for the sport, and especially, make them miss you when they haven’t met you yet."
Make them miss you when they haven’t met you yet.
Diana took a deep breath and began to let her ideas transfer to paper, flowing without much thought.
Dear members of the Toro Rosso team, it is an honor to have the opportunity to apply for this internship position in your prestigious racing team. Since I was a child, I have always dreamed of being part of the wonderful world of Formula 1...
No, too fanciful and flattering. The young woman crossed everything out, and seeing that she was starting to feel confused, she crumpled up the paper and set it aside on the corner of the table.
Dear Mr. Tost and the rest of the Toro Rosso team: I would like to express my sincere interest in the position of race engineer intern. As a Mechanical Engineering student, I have acquired skills that I would like to develop professionally and, above all, apply them to the field I have been passionate about since I can remember.
Why was it so difficult to write something just to try to make your dream come true?
Pilar Martínez glanced at Diana and shocked her head. That girl who was showing so much insecurity at that moment, as happened in many classes, had the potential to become one of the greatest prodigies in motorsport.
"Don't overthink it, lady," she said affectionately. "Show your true personality and, if you need to, just take a little break before continuing."
The girl shook her head. She simply closed her eyes and imagined what she wanted most at that moment: her, sitting in front of a wall of screens, with headphones on, communicating with Michael Schumacher about what he should do in every turn and straight, when he should pit for a tire change, and even celebrating the occasional victory.
Who said Schumacher, said Alonso. She would even settle for one of the rookies, like that guy who joined Toro Rosso halfway through the previous season and she liked a little bit, Sebastian Vettel.
After several more attempts, she finally brought out everything she wanted to say. She had never felt so proud of any of her writings; not even with her graduation speech in high school, which made the entire teaching staff cry.
Dear members of the Toro Rosso team, With my heart filled with excitement and, especially, gratitude for the opportunity given to university students like me to be part of your team, I submit my application for the internship position as a race engineer. My name is Diana Wagner, I was born in Austria nineteen years ago, and my heart not only belongs to Spain, the country that welcomed me when I needed it the most, but also to the sport of which you are a part: Formula 1. My journey as a Mechanical Engineering student has been short, but I assure you, intense; at the same time, I have grown and learned a lot not only as a future professional but as a person. Throughout this year and a half, I have acquired a wealth of skills and knowledge thanks to the professionals from whom I am fortunate to receive instruction, and if it weren't for them, I wouldn't have the necessary preparation to face certain challenges—although, not deceiving you, I have a long way to go and much to learn. Every subject studied, project completed, and tear shed has been an opportunity to test and prove to myself that even the impossible is difficult. Beyond my knowledge as a student, I would also like to tell you about my passion for the world of motorsports, as I briefly mentioned before. Since I can remember, I have followed every free practice, qualifying, and race, as well as every press conference of each Grand Prix. The deafening sound of the engines, the suffocating speed of the single-seaters, and the passion that teams and drivers have shown have not only been my inspiration to pursue my studies and shape my future but also to grow as a person. In the darkest times of my life, Formula 1 became my light, and it still is. Like drivers work tirelessly to give their best, I also strive to overcome the limits imposed not only because I am a woman, but also because I am too hard-working. Therefore, I know that the opportunity to work alongside the professionals that make up your team would be an unparalleled honor, and I assure you that every day I would show you that I am capable of more. I deeply appreciate the time you have taken to read my cover letter. Although it may be hard to believe the words of a girl who, after all, is still a teenager trying to make her way in the adult world, I assure you that I have to prove much more than what you think.
Possibly, those last words were what made it possible for Diana Wagner to be the selected candidate as an intern at Toro Rosso among approximately two thousand of the best students from all over Europe.
2008 March 13th
Australian GP
“Sweetheart, are you sure you have everything with you?”
The bleached blonde was certain that she did, that she had everything she needed for her new job except for one detail and, surprisingly, the most important one: knowing where she had to go. In front of her was the entrance to Albert Park, and all she felt was a great overwhelm from the size of that circuit. She saw people coming in and out of the venue constantly, both walking and in vehicles that probably cost as much, or even more, than the flat she lived with her sister and father in Barcelona.
“Yes, of course,” she replied, trying to sound as calm as possible. “I'm waiting outside for someone to come and meet me."
“But didn't you say you had to go inside, and that someone would be waiting for you in the box?”
She hated how blunt Amelie was.
“I'm more lost than during my exams period when we first moved to Spain,” she joked. “Now I'll try to figure out what to do. There’s no need to worry about me.”
Bernhard started shouting something in German to his younger daughter, and immediately continued talking to Diana. It seemed surreal to the girl that her family was making a phone call with her at two in the morning in Spain.
“You better get in there, even if you have to jump over a fence!,” he shouted in German, a little annoyed. “And I don't care if you get caught or anything: you haven't traveled to the other damn end of the world and left me with your sister, all alone, just for you to stand there with your arms crossed.”
When Bernhard Wagner got angry, he did, and a lot.
“Yeah, Dad, I know,” she replied, a bit angry because her father seemed not to trust her. “In fact, I'm getting closer now, I have the pass they sent me by mail in my hand, and I'm going through the accreditation with this weird machine. I'll hang up, okay?”
It was a rhetorical question because Diana, before being able to hear an answer from her father, hung up the call. As she let out a long sigh, held in throughout the phone call, she passed her accreditation through the identification sensor, but the photo they asked her for months ago didn't appear.
Again, she tried, and nothing appeared on the screen. She kept trying over and over, which managed to attract the attention of more than one of those present, who did nothing to help the intern.
“Damn it…”
After that, Diana began to unleash a string of curses in German, some of which she had made up on the spot and made no sense at all. She couldn't believe that it would be more difficult than she had planned just to enter the venue and talk to whoever she had to talk to. She was a firm believer in destiny, and she knew that it meant she had to go back to Spain, to her natural hair color and to her university courses.
Frustration was taking over the Austrian, and she was sure that, if she hadn't heard a male voice in German beside her, she would have burst into tears like she never did before.
“Do you speak German too? Do you want me to help you with that?”
Diana nodded her head and looked up at the person who was talking to her. A blond guy, of medium height, who seemed to be a couple of years older than her, was the one who was talking to her. His face was somewhat familiar, although she still couldn't put a name to it.
Another mistake for the rookie Diana Wagner. Of course, if there were other interns besides her, she was sure she wouldn't win the Intern of the Year award, if such a thing existed.
“I tried to get my accreditation to work, but, as you can see” she began to explain, pointing at the card, “it doesn't want to let me into the paddock.”
“Do you mind giving it to me?”
The girl offered it to him without hesitation, feeling much more relaxed in the company of that driver, in case he was. He proceeded to clean it a bit with his shirt a couple of times and immediately passed it again through the scanner.
Her name, along with a photo of her with her newly dyed blonde hair, appeared on the screen.
“So... Diana Wagner, huh?,” the guy inquired, wanting to know more about her. “What brings you here?”
“As they told me a few months ago, I am Toro Rosso's new intern. Supposedly, I'll be subordinate to a track engineer or something like that, I'm not really sure what I'll end up doing.”
The girl answered him honestly, and to her surprise, the stranger seemed to understand something that had been on her mind for a long time, as if he already knew who she was.
“Vettel is going to be damn lucky to have you,” he said shamelessly, “and I would be delighted to have a girl like you by my side too.”
Diana felt her cheeks flush, and although deep down that comment had bothered her, she couldn't help but feel flattered in part.
“And are you supposed to be...?”
“Nico Rosberg,” he took the girl's hand and gave it a short kiss, “F1 driver for Williams. It's an honor to meet you, and let me tell you that, if you get bored with the other blond German, you have privileged access to my box whenever you want.”
Putting on his backpack and giving the girl a slight bow, he left without giving any explanation.
Diana was left bewildered by what she had just experienced. However, even more impressed was Sebastian, who began to feel sorry because he knew that, no matter how much that blonde-haired girl tried to give her best, they would only minimize her achievements.
[...]
After a couple of laps around the circuit, and some explanation of how Formula 1 Grand Prix weekends worked, Diana Wagner was already sitting at a long table with Franz Tost, Toro Rosso's team principal.
The man, despite showing a quite serious demeanor, maintaining composure at all times, had inspired enough confidence in the intern for her to open up a bit to him, especially talking about how her career was going; they also discussed how the blonde would balance her studies with her new job. All this while her supposed boss and the driver she would be subordinate to appeared.
A few knocks on the door startled her. Tost, as if he already knew about the imminent arrival, got up from his seat and headed to the door. As soon as he opened it, it revealed a man in his thirties accompanied by a boy who was already wearing the team's uniform.
Although he looked like Rosberg, at the same time, she could tell he was completely different: his face was longer, and his height seemed to be a few centimeters shorter. He had a big smile on his face, and as soon as he entered the room, he started making jokes that even made the girl laugh.
She barely knew that boy, and he already inspired trust in her.
“Alright, Diana,” announced Franz, causing her to stand up quickly: “this is Alex, who will be, let's say, your master in terms of track engineering,” he introduced the man, shaking his hand, “and this is Sebastian Vettel, one of the young promises we are lucky to have in our team.”
The blonde cheerfully extended his hand to the girl, who accepted it gladly.
“Please, Franz, don't say that,” joked Vettel, “I'm just a kid with incredible potential waiting to get a world title or something similar.”
The intern laughed, immediately regretting it. Her shyness was showing, and Sebastian noticed it, so that's why he decided to gently stroke her hand, slowly enough so that no one else, besides them, would know about that small gesture.
“See?,” said the German, now addressing his engineer, “I told you she was going to like me.”
2023
“That season was a mess,” said Sebastian, looking at the camera while fixing his hair. “The first four races ended in a DNF, and my motivation went down completely” explained the former driver. “The car was crap, but not finishing four damn races? Shit, I didn't want to say bad words…”
“What Seb means,” his wife stated, interrupting him, “is that he had much higher expectations in March 2008, and little by little, he started being conscious of reality. I went through the same thing: even though I thought I was going to do little, I ended up doing even less.”
The documentary directors recalled that information.
“The camera is yours, Mrs. Vettel,” one of the cameramen spoke over, receiving a thumbs up from the redhead.
“There's not much to say, really, except that I remember thinking about leaving because all I did was sit in front of the screens and watch the race just like I did from the TV in my house,” she expressed a bit angry, remembering everything all too well. “And of course, the comments and looks couldn't be missing. I felt like a Playboy model sometimes, I swear. They even mistook me for a grid girl one day entering the pit lane!”
“God, yes,” Seb agreed, joining his wife's monologue. “I don't know if you guys remember,” he pointed at Jenson and Mark, “but there were times when, I swear, it felt like it was more of a Jersey Shore-type show or something like that than a race weekend.”
Diana agreed with the German.
“I think, if I remember correctly, I received a total of forty-eight requests to go out for a drink from Friday to Sunday,” she tried to remember. “Well, a drink and a sex session after that, let's be honest.”
“And I'm glad to say that I wasn't part of that group of assholes,” he covered his mouth directly, receiving a reprimanding look from Webber. “But I had a reason not to.”
“Yes,” the redhead agreed, “although it's not the time to talk about that. Remember sunshine: let's go step by step.”
“It's not to stay on Sebastian’s side,” interrupted Button the couple's dialogue, “but since the moment he first met you, he had incredible respect for you, and I would even dare say admiration.” Vettel snorted, remembering some of the many rumors the girl he fought so much for had to face. He remembered more than once hearing her going to vent in Toro Rosso's bathroom, and even on more than one occasion, he heard her secretly talking to her father, asking him to please fake some illness or something to get out of that.
Ironically, it came true.
“I've been Diana Vettel's number 1 fan since the day I met her,” confessed Seb. “Since March 13, 2008, to be more precise.”
Everyone was impressed by Sebastian's memory, including Diana.
“In addition to the announcement made during the German Grand Prix week, where it was finally revealed that you would join Red Bull the following year thanks to Coulthard's retirement, becoming my teammate,” Mark continued, laughing, “there was another event that marked you in 2008, shortly after.”
“It seemed like everything was going downhill for this lady here,” Sebastian pointed at Diana, “and for me, and that our effort was in vain.”
“But Monza changed everything because Sebastian and I discovered that, together, we could do great things,” continued the woman, trying not to kiss her husband, who had a huge smile on his face, in front of everyone.
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bellaswan-kinnie · 6 months
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jack antonoff being messy pt. 3,546
forever icon jack antonoff has given us some earth-shaking information to commemorate the release of you're losing me on streaming and once again my understanding of the midnights album has been upended. she's truly the album that keeps on giving!!
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(everything i'm about to say is speculative i realize i don't actually know this woman i just treat her music like a scholarly text)
when midnights first came out i went along with her sneaky deception that the songs were just reflections on sleepless nights from her past for the sake of a cool concept album, not really considering why she'd be fixating on past relationships and events. then when the news broke in april that it was joever, the album made so much more sense to me. i believed that taylor was reminiscing on these nights to understand why her current relationship with joe was unraveling, examining her psyche both independently of and in the context of dating. the album is her asking herself "who am i and how did i get here?"
after the revelation that you're losing me was written and recorded on december 5th, 2021, almost a year before midnights was released and a year and a half before the breakup was reported, i still think my second assessment is likely accurate, but it muddies the waters when it comes to when exactly they broke up.
i kind of always suspected that april was not the real end date of their relationship, since the announcement was largely spurred on by joe's noticeable absence from the vip tent at all of the eras tour shows. originally i assumed they had broken up just before the tour started, but now i think it was mid-late 2022, around the time midnights was finalized and then released.
(remember it took 5 months for the public to find out about their relationship in the first place. my girl can hide things when she wants to!!)
the fact that taylor didn't release you're losing me until after her breakup with joe was public tells me that she wasn't ready to admit that her and joe weren't going to make it at the time of the album's completion. she also probably didn't want to share the details publicly, since the breakup was much fresher in relation to the album's release than it typically has been in the past (also more drawn out and difficult).
labyrinth now sounds to me like it was written during a breather from the turmoil, "i thought the plane was going down, how'd you turn it right around." the lyric "oh no, i'm falling in love again" could imply a rekindling of the honeymoon phase in their relationship, a new "lavender haze" she wanted to cling onto against her better judgement. she knew there were major problems, but she had put so much time and effort into their life together that she kept trying to make it work anyway. "do i throw out everything we built or keep it?" also the consistent use of "you" in the song instead of a "him" vs. "you" situation tells me that it's about one man, not her falling in love with a new guy after a breakup.
i used to think maroon was a reflection on the relationship with jake gyllenhaal since maroon is a darker shade of red, but now i'm fully on board with it being about joe. first of all she calls the man poor again, and i can't imagine jake gyllenhaal having a roommate at that age and point in his career. the lyrics also imply a bit of infidelity on her part, "the mark they saw on my collarbone, the rust that grew between telephones," which i've theorized was a major factor in the beginning of their relationship (hiddleswift u will always be iconic).
anti-hero and dear reader show that (at least at some point) she really blamed herself for the failure of this relationship, both songs being filled with self-loathing and self-doubt. mastermind and you're losing me also reference her tendencies for scheming and people-pleasing.
you're losing me is the most explicit illustration of why they eventually broke up, but it's point of view kind of goes back and forth. she switches between past and present tense, still unsure if it's really over yet. i've seen people talk about how it was written a week after taylor visited joe in panama where he was filming a movie along with a bunch of other songs, so that time of separation must have been very eye-opening to her.
there's a lot more re-re-fathoming i'm gonna have to do but i'm understanding more and more why this album is kinda confusing in its storytelling. that woman was going through it!!!
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neteyamsoare · 4 months
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✩ ‧ ˚. after dark streams — my wips!
૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა hi! on here, will be anything i‘m currently workin' on, whether it’s wips, requests, or thirsts. this is one of the best ways to know if i'm currently working on your request. this will be updated daily!
last updated: april 16th 2024 : 12:27 am.
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status key ᝰ planning : 💭 / just started :🖱️ / halfway : ⌨️ / halfway done : 📷 / almost done :🥤/ completed : 🎧 / proofreading : 🎤/ queue : 📁
caught feelings / ao’nung
type: fluff request | x: fem! human! reader | content: you find yourself in a dilemna and turn to the one person you know will give you great advice | au: modern | current word count: 323 words | progress:🖱️
couple videos / tsireya
type: fluff request | x: male! black! human! reader | content: tsireya tries to convince you to do a video with her for her youtube channel | current word count: 688 words | au: modern | progress: 📷
happy halloween / tsu’tey rongloa
type: fluff request | x: fem! human! reader | content: you teach the kids what Halloween is and you go for a good trick on tsu’tey | current word count: 484 words | progress: 📷
head for halloween / lo’ak sully
type: fluff to smut request | x: fem! human/avatar! reader | content: you and lo’ak watch scary movies together and one thing leads to another | current word count: 220 words | progress: ⌨️
how i met your mother / neteyam sully
type: fluff request | x: fem! omatikaya! mate! reader | content: neteyam finds his daughter still up at night so he offers to stargaze which leads to her asking him a question | current word count: 466 words | au: dad!neteyam | progess: ⌨️
lost & found / neteyam sully
type: angst to fluff request | x: fem! hybrid! metkayina & omatikaya! reader | content: you and neteyam reunite after a year apart, finding out he still holds a grudge over the argument you had before you left | current word count: 217 words | progress:🖱️
lurkin' / spider socorro
type: smut request | x: fem! omatikaya! reader | content: after another sleepless night, spider visits your marui and sees that you're up as well | current word count: 385 words | progress: ⌨️
not so innocent / rotxo
type: smut request | x: fem! metkayina! reader | content: after your cute comment about rotxo, he shows you he can be just as rough | current word count: 348 words | progress: ⌨️
oblivious / ao’nung
type: fluff request | x: fem! human! reader | content: after another failed date, you complain to ao'nung which only seem to frustrate him | au: modern | current word count: 323 words | progress:🖱️
the perfect match / tonowari
type: smut request | x: fem! metkayina! reader | content: tonowari shows you just how well you match together | current word count: 881 words | progress: ⌨️
who did this to you / tsu’tey rongloa
type: angst to fluff request | x: fem! dreamwalker! reader | content: tsu’tey comes home to you covered in bruises, he won’t stop at nothing to make sure who did it get justice | current word count: 912 words | progress: 🎤
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— all rights reserved © NETEYAMSOARE 2022-2024. all fanfics belong to me, do not copy, translate, repost nor recommend on tiktok any of the works seen here.
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belle-keys · 1 year
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An update to my chronic OCD and OCPD story: A new chapter?
So, in October of 2021, four months after I had gotten my official OCD and OCPD diagnoses, I made this post sort of briefly chronicling my experiences with OCD and OCPD since childhood (more so my OCD, as I really don’t have that much intense or debilitating OCPD symptoms). Little did I know that in June of 2022, I’d have a sudden, awful OCD relapse that would put me back on Paxil. So here’s how it’s been since then.
I obviously did not think I’d have an OCD relapse, but guess which stupidhead decided to stop taking Paxil the day before Ramadan started in April of 2022 and suffered unimaginable withdrawal symptoms while fasting and also on the most hormonally destructive birth control ever? I do think having an awful immediate post-Paxil period was what had kicked off the relapse. I didn't give myself time to experience withdrawal in a healthy way. And then I got Covid in May, hah. By June, my sleep schedule had not adjusted since my Covid had hit and I was only sleeping properly about 3 or 4 nights a week. I started compulsively ruminating about some vague stuff one day and then my sensorimotor OCD specifically dialed up to 100. I think I didn’t sleep for about five days straight before my mom was like… girl. You need to go back on the Paxil. Look at you. I was extremely hostile towards the idea of going on Paxil again, because it’d mean I’d be going into my fifth year of OCD medication and I’d have to deal with the pain of tapering and withdrawal all over again at some point. It felt like I was back to square one. This would have been my fourth time turning towards medication in desperation, my third ever OCD relapse, and I was like just please no. However, after another sleepless night, I realized I simply could not go on like this without doing anything. I kind of short-circuited and just agreed to restart the Paxil that day, and so I started a course in mid-June with an even larger dose than I had been taking in 2021.
I spent the rest of that vacation actually really chill and contented with life, no lie. I was really excited for uni to reopen in the fall. I was also feeling my obsessional doubts lurking about much less. My mind was quiet and lulled. Let me make it clear: my compulsions did not cease, they were just much less intense and less debilitating. I still did compulsions daily, in a maladaptive way. But I also started paying attention to the idea that, huh, maybe I don’t absolutely need to immediately do all my compulsions for several hours a day. If the medication can make the obsession go away, then the obsession’s not… real. Whoa. Like while on the Paxil, I knew my fears were still, logically speaking, wriggling behind the surface, but I wasn’t responding to them because I didn’t feel the anxiety and the panic they would usually cause. So, didn’t that mean that I simply… don’t have to respond at all? I won't die if I don't do it. So it was in October of 2022 I tried some very passive non-engagement and non-responsive strategies for the first time on my own. I would simply remind myself that I don’t have to do this thing even when I felt the mortal urge to do the thing and that I wouldn’t collapse into pieces if I didn't do the thing. I was still drugged up, but it was a turning point in my OCD journey where I applied some logic to my predicament and realized I don’t need to be doing any of these compulsions at all for something catastrophic not to happen. By last fall, my OCD was revolving around four main themes (the usual suspects): existential OCD, sensorimotor OCD, general Pure-O, and perfectionism OCD. Since I was a small child, I have had multiple theme switches but these are the ones that have stayed for the last couple of years. I discovered last fall that non-engagement was very much doable (even though I wasn’t actively doing ERP yet).
By the first week of 2023, I firmly decided I wanted to make a change in my life: cut off the meds and stop being plagued by OCD. So I started researching the basics of ERP, the different ERP models, stuff like ACT and ICBT, and liaising with therapists. (These different treatments and acronyms are all easily googleable so... yeah.) The nature of my OCD is 90% mental and almost constant, and so it was decided between me and my psychiatrist that I'd have to do my exposures by myself, which was ultimately for the better. I supplemented the time not spent in a therapist's office by listening to podcasts by psychiatrists, licensed clinicians, and certified counselors which tremendously helped me as I started practicing ERP. And ERP is brutal, like I cannot stress this enough. I compiled a list of notes and ERP instructions to follow, following the model of RF-ERP developed by Dr. Michael Greenberg whose articles on OCD have completely changed the way I conceptualize OCD, and they deffo sped up my recovery. Ali Greymond's model for reducing OCD compulsions also immensely helped me on a daily basis to reduce compulsions and navigate recovery. The theories behind ICBT also helped me "respond" to my OCD in a logical realistic way, even though I don't believe ICBT in a bubble will truly work for me by itself to reduce my OCD; I think it'd only fuel rumination if used in isolation for me. What has really worked for me on the individual level is ERP using the Inhibitory Learning Model, supplemented with ICBT theory as a secondary measure. I truly believe each OCD client needs a customized approach to OCD treatment depending on their individual symptoms and compulsions. For example, traditional ERP sees obsessions as something "normal" and intrusive, which I've come to fundamentally reject and instead choose to see as the obsessional doubt which is is part of the obsessional process, following the ICBT model. However, to get rid of my intense compulsions and reduce the grip of the obsessional doubt on me, I still need to mainly do ERP using an Inhibitory Learning model. I don't see enough of ICBT being applicable to all of my obsessions and compulsions nor do I believe ICBT will work well enough on its own for my frequent theme switches. I think ICBT helps me logically conceptualize the obsessional doubt as a mechanism and reiterates everything I learn in ERP, but doing ERP with Inhibitory Learning is what primarily helps me understand and accept that the obsessional doubt was never true in and of itself and that not acting on it is always possible.
Most importantly, I stopped Paxil at the end of January 2023 after taperin for 3 months before. And I gave myself an ample emotional window to deal healthily with withdrawal while also doing ERP multiple times daily. Which feels great. I was honestly sick and tired of living on medication for 5 years straight. Honestly, I feel like I've made some leaps in terms of non-engagement with my OCD symptoms. In the past it was always "I'll just mellow my mind with the meds" but I've come to realize my own personal agency in terms of doing compulsions. A major step I've made was the dissolution of the Thought Parliament and the Thought Guard (my psychiatrist approves of the names). For many years, I've manually sorted through and compartmentalized my different thoughts in a large mental cabinet that was carefully surveyed. I essentially, for many years, had my thoughts categorized and sorted in folders and cupboards, which I've come to name the Thought Parliament. I also used military-esque strategies to do the constant "checks and balances" on my thoughts in the Thought Parliament, a process which I've thusly named the Thought Guard. For the first time in my life, I've not let the Thought Parliament and Thought Guard dictate my life and I've been kinda normal in the head. I could not believe that this is how the majority of people live their lives, that is, with the absence of the constant irritation concerning just... regular thinking and information processing. It feels like coming up for air after being submerged for my whole life. As I had explained in Part 1, since I was a kid I've had OCD and so it's been very difficult for me to separate my OCD from myself, constantly defined by precise self-imposed mental rituals, and so it's quite a jarring (but welcome) experience to just think normally and realize I'm very capable of that.
I had a couple of setbacks in mid-March and early April. I've had several minor setbacks since starting ERP which is entirely normal, but I haven't had any signs of a relapse. I've tried to remain consistent in doing ERP and listening to information about OCD and ERP a few times weekly. Likewise, when I was diagnosed with OCPD, my psychiatrist said it's less about my visible behaviors-slash-relationships and more about my values and thought processes in terms of how my OCPD manifests. Essentially, my OCPD has often been one of the main driving forces of my OCD which in turn made my OCPD stronger. So I've been trying to reorient my values and be more mindful of my clinical perfectionistic tendencies, my workaholism, my rigidness. And I'm grateful that I've been doing better. I find I feel light-hearted when I conceptualize my mental health future right now. So I'm officially considering myself in OCD recovery, which isn't something I've ever actually done before. I think (I hope) that I experienced some growth this Ramadan, and so I'm going to try to keep the best of the holy month with me as I go forward into 2023. If you wanna discuss any of what I talked about here privately or via an ask, that's fine, but no reblogs on this post please!
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drowningindango · 1 year
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List of all MadaObi Monday prompts in the past (will be updated each monday):
2022
Sep 12 - Reunion
Sep 19 - Bruises
Sep 26 - Secrets
Oct 3 - Curse/Blessing
Oct 10 - Bite
Oct 17 - Good News/Bad News
Oct 24 - Hypnotised
Oct 31 - Halloween
Nov 6 - Hokage/Leader
Nov 14 - Mermaid
Nov 21 - Sleepless Nights
Nov 28 - Freezing
Dec 5 - Candles
Dec 12 - Forever
Dec 19 - Birthday
2023
((Break))
Jan 16 - Wishes
Jan 23 - Bodyswap AU
Jan 30 - Cuddles
Feb 6 - Sight
Feb 13 - Mask | Date
Feb 20 - Balance
March 6 - Courage
March 13 - Possessive
((Break))
Sep 11 - Debt
Sep 18 - New Member/Recruit
Sep 25 - (Ninja) Summer Camp
Oct 2 - Cats
Oct 8 - Blind Date/Strangers
Oct 16 - Freedom
Oct 23 - Crush
Oct 30 - Monster
Nov 6 - Fireworks
Nov 13 - Worship
Nov 20 - Cards
Nov 27 - Bogeyman
Dec 4 - Baking
Dec 11 - Rebellion
Dec 18 - Nicknames
Dec 25 - Gift
2024
Jan 1 - Dragon
Jan 8 - Sneak Attack
Jan 15 - Chess
Jan 22 - Anbu
Jan 29 - Paws & Claws
Feb 5 - Unrequited
Feb 12 - Moonlight
Feb 19 - Time loop
Feb 26 - Storm
Mar 4 - Spring
Mar 11 - Survival
Mar 18 - Bug
Mar 25 - Bones
April 1 - Eggs | Fool
April 8 - Change
April 15 - Loyalty
April 22 - Pollen
May 6 - Avoidance
May 13 - Myth
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jakeperalta · 1 year
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every month of 2022: post your favorite or most popular post from each month this year (it’s okay to skip months)
thank you @captain-hen and @grantathena for the tag 💕
january: peeta mellark gifset
february: pride & prejudice trivia gifset
march: peter/mj + "strange" lyrics gifset
april: fleabag/priest gifset
may: cece/schmidt gifset
june: taylor swift + daisy jones & the six graphic
july: eleanor/chidi gifset
august: taylor swift sleepless nights gifset
september: all too well the short film gifset
october: rory/logan + "question" lyrics gifset
november: buck/eddie + "invisible string" lyrics gifset
december: buck/eddie + "you are in love" lyrics gifset
tagging: @tylrgalpins @cherryslips @swiftiebuckleys @brooksdavis @bakerolivia @thatwasthenightthingschanged @bellamysgriffin if you guys want to/haven't already <3
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lookingforann · 1 year
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WRAP UP: YEAR 2022! On Making Peace w/ Endings —
This year might have been an awful year for some or might have been an amazing and exciting for the rest.  But to me, a lot has surely happened.  There are so many things I should be thankful for.  And I learned that being appreciative prevents us from taking anything or anyone for granted. We all should live well. And that’s why I’m making this post so that I can teach myself more to be grateful regardless of the circumstance.
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JANUARY - During our previous planning, from being the director of Young Adults, I was appointed to be the director of our Kids’ Church. It was really a challenging one because I felt that most things were trial and error. But I was also grateful because we’ve got so many things to improve. We are still learning. I pray that the Lord will give us more patience with our progress and bless our minds for wisdom.
FEBRUARY - I was not okay emotionally. I had days with my anxiety and breakdowns. I had to talk with my Pastor because I thought that he would be the one who would understand me. But I am also thankful with my breakdowns and circumstance for it made me realize some things. It led me also to right people.
MARCH - I enjoyed joining to campaign rallies! It was a different kind of experience. I also finally had a courage to resign from my work. It took me 4 years to have courage! I planned to take some rest due to my health condition.
APRIL - I celebrated my 27th birthday. I also finally decided to be in a relationship with my bestfriend. I went through first with all of my confusions and fears -- a whirlwind kind of emotions. But, yes, I’m choosing this. We are choosing this. We are choosing each other.  
MAY - I was officially unemployed! After I graduated, I was immediately hired by our school. And finally, after 7 years of working, I decided to take a break from everything and focus with ministries. I felt mixed emotions of course. After all, I spent my 15 years of my life there and leaving my comfort zone was never easy. But sometimes, we really have to go for us to experience the growth we want.
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JUNE - We went to Pampanga to watch the Aurora Fest. That was the first time that we go out of town. My anxiety was starting to attack again. And I was happy for my disciples as well because they graduated from college.
JULY - I had a lot of sleepless nights! My anxiety was keeping me awake for nights. And I couldn’t help but to have a self-pity. I felt that I was stuck. I felt that I had nothing to go or I was just going to nowhere. It felt like I was in the wilderness.
AUGUST - My brother got married! I couldn’t explain how happy I was for him! I know that our parents were happy too. It was 5th Anniversary of our church as well! I couldn’t believe that it has been already 5 years! But one thing is for sure, God’s grace brought us this far. To more years and battles to come!
SEPTEMBER - We experienced a strong typhoon in our place! Our province were under of state of calamity because a lot of people were really affected. It was 2013 when we experienced this kind of typhoon. Fortunately, my family and loved ones were safe.
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OCTOBER - I tried to have a side line (while I’m still unemployed). I tried to be an event coordinator. Though it was easy for me to adjust since we handle different events in our church, it was still a different kind of experience. We handled one of the biggest projects of our provincial government. And it went really successful! Glory to God!
NOVEMBER - My father celebrated his 61st Birthday! I also started applying jobs online. I sent to a lot of employers. I went through a lot of frustrations but it also helped me to embrace more the fact that there are many things we cannot control. It helped me to trust God more in the middle of the process.
DECEMBER - Of course it was the Christmas Ball for me! I always look forward to this one since we conduct or have it annually. I had my latest check up too, and I was really grateful for my EEG became normal now. Though I still need to take medication, it was really a good news that my health has a big improvement. I also started to be one of the trainees in an ESL company. I praise the Lord for the opportunity.
And at this point, I know that I made it through, not because of myself, but because of God. It is Him who has carried me all along. He is only the reason why I have the strength to go through another day, month, or even year. His grace sustained and continually sustains me. 
And as we approach another year, my prayer is to always remember His words:
“I have cared for you since you were born. Yes, I carried you before you were born. I will be your God throughout your lifetime—until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.” - Isaiah 46:3-4
Happy New Year, everyone! 
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thechefdiaries · 2 years
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Cooper. 29. Shitty Tattoos. Foul Mouth. Good Cook.
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Life had never been simple for Cooper “Coop” Gallagher. Born to two teen parents with bad drug habits on the most dangerous part of Florida, he raised himself since he was 5. His parents were present… but they never were present, often high or drunk or both. Cooper had seen unimaginable things by the time his balls dropped. It was incredible that they’d managed to even remotely keep him alive. Coop knew to survive, he had to fight. Not only physically but mentally as well. Cooper, despite being the poor kid in school, graduated with a 4.0 GPA and had offers from various high end schools but threw that all away to pursue his dream of Culinary School. He moved to New York on the night of his graduation with nothing stopping him from doing so. It’s caused resentment with his parents even now at 27. He graduated at the early age of 21, a year before most people his age.. but absolutely no one cared about that and so he ended up as a line cook at a 24 hour diner in Brooklyn. He wanted more so as a side business, he started his own catering company and after months of struggle, he finally caught a break when a billionaire (Tony Khan) had had his food at an event and offered him and his crew a chance to work catering at his company, All Elite Wrestling.
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As of April 23, 2022, the metaphorical heat was on and Cooper thrived a lot more than he gives himself credit for but not even a month later, on May 17, 2022 to be exact, a tragic event occurred. Cooper’s best friend and closest thing he had to a sibling took his own life after a deep and intense battle with depression. Cooper suddenly found himself a bit lost and concerned a bit for his own mental health especially after Stephen had left Cooper his sandwich shop in Orlando. Instead of choosing between his new position as head chef of catering with AEW and owner of an upcoming but still slimming it sandwich shop, Cooper chose both. Recently the loss, the pressure, the tension, and the sleepless nights of trying to remain a functioning human being has caused him to develop a drinking problem.
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As far as connections, I really believe that the best of connections happen naturally. Feel free to imply that your muse/muses stopped by his sandwich shop at any point. You don’t have to message me to imply unless you just want to. I’m really looking forward to bringing this character to life. I normally don’t do original characters.
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madeline-kahn · 1 year
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2022 in gifsets
I did a tag game a couple days ago that was to post your most popular and favorite set of each month but I also like to do a full list of at least some of my more major series of edits
PSCentral Event Creations:
December: dancing in 2022 film
November: Meg Ryan/Nora Ephron movies
October: girl group trios
September: Star Wars references to Beastie Boys
August: Bronco tour setlist
July: Best original score winners of the 1990s
June: Set it Up
May: Cillian Murphy in Free Fire
April: Noises Off...
March: Women and non-binary actors in Shakespeare
February: Jessie Buckley in The Lost Daughter
Dancing in Film:
Best of 2001: Moulin Rouge!
Best of 2002: Chicago
Best of 2021: Encanto
2022 movies (also a PSCentral event post)
Dancing in Oscar nominated movies
Bring it On: All or Nothing
Ron Mael in The Sparks Brothers
Bridgerton
Music in Film: 
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (score)
The Amazing Spider-Man 2 (soundtrack)
Noises Off...
The French Dispatch (score)
The French Dispatch (soundtrack)
The Tragedy of Macbeth
Eternals (soundtrack)
Eternals (score)
Belfast
C’mon C’mon
Lemonade Mouth
This is Spinal Tap
Luca (soundtrack)
Vivaldi’s Summer in ice skating
Best Original Song nominees 2022
Best Original score nominees 2022
Shang-Chi (soundtrack)
Shang-Chi (score)
Karaoke Duets
Valentine’s Day
West Side Story 2022
O Brother Where Art Thou
Life of Pi
Song of the Sea
Cyrano
The Batman (soundtrack)
The Batman (score)
Girls Just Want to Have Fun
Stick It
Robin Hood
Summer of Soul
Hedwig and the Angry Inch
The Princess Diaries
Best original score winners of the 1990s
Brother Bear
Risky Business
A Cinderella Story
The Breakfast Club
Honor Society
Reservoir Dogs
Prey
Xanadu
Romeo & Juliet
Hackers
Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
Mamma Mia/Mamma Mia Here We Go Again songs
Top Gun: Maverick score
Top Gun: Maverick soundtrack
Nope
Sleepless in Seattle
Night at the Museum
Freaky Friday
The Big Chill
Thor: Love and Thunder
Do Revenge
Bodies Bodies Bodies
Turning Red
Night at the Museum 2
Howl’s Moving Castle
Hocus Pocus 2
The Final Girls
Scream 2
Grim grinning ghosts music in movies
The Princess Diaries 2
Scream 3
Megamind
1989 World Tour
Twilight: Breaking Dawn part 1
Scooby Doo
Scream 4
Werewolf by Night
Rosaline
X 2022
Scooby Doo 2
Night at the Museum 3
Girl group trios (also a PSCentral event post)
Scream 2022
Monster High The Movie
#666 Devil Songs
The Electric Horseman
Enola Holmes 2
Wendell & Wild
Zoolander
A Christmas Carol musical adaptations
Music in TV:
Ted Lasso (Rainbow)
Bridgerton
Heartstopper (p1)
Heartstopper (p2)
Heartstopper (p3)
Heartstopper (p4)
Stranger Things (p1)
Stranger Things (p2)
Stranger Things (p3)
Stranger Things (p4)
Stranger Things (p5)
Favorite 2022 releases:
Bronco (Orville Peck)
The Loneliest Time (Carly Rae Jepsen)
Being Funny in a Foreign Language (The 1975)
Hits to the Head (Franz Ferdinand)
Heartstopper
Cyrano
Quote edits:
Downton Abbey + Daytona Sand
Dead Poets Society + Bigger Than the Whole Sky
Downton Abbey + Michael
House MD + Midnight Rain
Shadow and Bone + Persuasion
Amadeus + jealousy jealousy
Taylor Swift + you all over me
Downton Abbey + my baby’s taking me home
Taylor Swift + legacy
Ted Lasso + I Know it’s Over
Taylor Swift + Daylight
Downton Abbey + falling in love
Taylor Swift + Invisible String
Misc film:
Ariana Debose awards
Love Actually
Wednesday (Makeup looks)
Do Revenge (Beastie Boys shirt)
Do Revenge (Godard reference)
Werewolf by Night
The Princess Bride
Nope (Jupe’s suit)
Clue (Jane Wiedlin)
Dunkirk
The French Dispatch
Beauty and the Beast (I want a rose)
Free Fire
Olivia Rodrigo driving home 2 u
Kodi Smit-McPhee in The Power of the Dog
Ben Whishaw in Julius Caesar
Taylor Swift in Valentine’s Day
Noises Off...
Crush (teen movie references)
Crush (director names)
Encanto top shots
Fruitblr: Arsenic and Old Lace
Fruitblr: Monty Python
Fruitblr: Luca (coffee)
Fruitblr: Groundhog Day
Misc TV:
Bridgerton (Edwina)
Bridgerton (Violet and Lady Danbury)
Bridgerton (dog)
Bridgerton (bees)
Downton Abbey
The Durrells in Corfu
Peaky Blinders (Anya)
Sparks on Gilmore Girls
Stranger Things (audio descriptions)
Stranger Things (Lumax at the movies)
TV Week: The Durrells in Corfu
TV Week: Shadow and Bone
TV Week: BBC Ghosts
TV Week: Ted Lasso
TV Week: Downton Abbey
TV Week: Heartstopper
Julie and the Phantoms
Unfinished business
Types of mutuals
Friends react (Rush shirt)
Friends react (dilfs)
Friends react (Wake Up)
Friends react (Bright)
Friends react (Caleb)
Juke + let me dance for you
Julie + Wonder Girl
Luke + Edith Piaf said it better
All That
Wordle
Valentines
Luke
Misc music:
Where Have all the Cowboys Gone?
Billy Goodbye
All My Exes Live in Texas
Outta Time
The Curse of the Blackened Eye
Fruits of My Labour
Bria
Fruit mentions in Three MC’s and One DJ
Fruit mentions in No Sleep Til Brooklyn
Her music video choreography
Stand on the Horizon
Drive Me Crazy
Green Green Rocky Road
Legends Never Die
Bronco tour Seattle
More Bronco tour Seattle
Bronco tour wardrobe
Taylor Swift barefoot in music videos
I Bet You Think About Me
Lover (music video)
Lover album
Paper Rings film concept
Taylor Swift + pink
Taylor Swift + 2021 seasons
Parallels:
Disenchanted/Beauty and the Beast
Wednesday/Sweet Charity
Downton Abbey pilot/New Era film
Harriet Walter Emmy nominations
C’mon Baby Cry/Fosse
First Kill/The Neon Demon
All Too Well/Dazed and Confused
Downton Abbey movies + Molesely
Billy Elliot/CODA
Multi film concepts:
Morissey impressions
Magicians
Israel Hands in TV and movies
Jessie Plemons BP nominees
Movie themed Wordle
Black and white movies in 2021
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digimonandpokemon · 1 year
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I posted 4,688 times in 2022
That's 3,407 more posts than 2021!
59 posts created (1%)
4,629 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@benkaaoi
@reynaruina
@derinthescarletpescatarian
@broosepayne
@toxicure
I tagged 1,124 of my posts in 2022
#save for later - 48 posts
#danny phantom - 30 posts
#scp - 22 posts
#danny phantom x scp - 20 posts
#moon knight spoilers - 19 posts
#moon knight - 18 posts
#unreality - 17 posts
#danny fenton - 14 posts
#rambles - 10 posts
#answer - 9 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#the entire thing is a beauty and the beast romance novel but make it a thousand times worse because the writing feels like it came straight
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Clearing out my drafts a bit. Enjoy.
Dp × SCP
Another thing Dr. Bright is not allowed to do is let SCP-4304 write his reports for him. Dr. Bright, we understand that writing reports is a very long and daunting task, but letting SCP-4304 write your reports is very unprofessional. Keep in mind SCP-4304 is a fifteen year old boy and does not have the language suitable enough to be writing reports for the SCP foundation. Not only that, but it is Dr. Bright's responsibility to be doing these reports in the first place. We were lenient with the "Safety Dance" references in your reports but there is a line that can't be crossed.
Allowing SCP-4304 to write "ussy" at the end of certain words describing an entrance, has simply gone too far. If foundation researchers have to read another "doussy" when describing a keyhole, there will be many negative consequences.
Also, allowing SCP-4304 to "Rick Roll" fellow researchers in reports has gone too far. Especially after leaving coded messages that made some personal researchers think they were on a cusp of a breakthrough. Dr. Heisman has not fully recovered once he realized the words he decoded were meant to be a prank. Especially after it took three sleepless nights to break them.
If you are to allow SCP-4304 write your reports for you, Dr. Bright, at least attempt to proofread them. Letting SCP-4304 write "it was scary as fuck man D:" in documented reports is entirely unprofessional and puts a bad name on our foundation.
This will be your first and final warning Dr. Bright.
-Sincerely
The o5 council
183 notes - Posted July 1, 2022
#4
Since this idea got really popular, I've decided to write some stuff. Yall can have these while you wait
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580 notes - Posted April 17, 2022
#3
The first part got more popular than I thought it would so here's more! I just think that Danny and Dr. Bright would get along really well. Despite the headache of everyone on site.
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656 notes - Posted April 16, 2022
#2
Me seeing my school has a Tumblr: I bet they don’t even know about Plinko with blorbo from shows being sent to Eeby deeby to meet with glup shitto and scrunglo 
755 notes - Posted January 11, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I'm in love with Danny Phantom and scp crossovers. I'm too tired to write so have this instead
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1,218 notes - Posted April 15, 2022
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starlightoffandoms · 1 year
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I posted 10,976 times in 2022
23 posts created (0%)
10,953 posts reblogged (100%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@alleiradayne
@coffeebox62
@that-crazy-drummer-chick
@flock-of-paper-birds
@hanaaeri
I tagged 791 of my posts in 2022
#ofmd - 56 posts
#happy tag - 53 posts
#destiel - 46 posts
#the witcher - 37 posts
#write this way - 32 posts
#tora - 25 posts
#goncharov - 24 posts
#supernatural - 23 posts
#dean winchester - 22 posts
#the boys - 22 posts
Longest Tag: 138 characters
#i would love to see demon dean and collecting honey cas bc while completely unhinged demon dean would have been so careful & loving to him
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Me watching the Batman: *turn away for a second to check on the cat that's being real sneaky like*
Police Captain: *starts talking*
Me: *swings around almost hard enough to give myself whiplash* IS THAT IZZY HANDS?!!!!
Police Captain: *is Con O'Neill*
Me: it IS Izzy Hands!!!
Cat: *runs and hides from insane parent screaming about Izzy Hands*
12 notes - Posted April 20, 2022
#4
Looking for more Witcher blogs for me and my bestie @coffeebox62 to follow. I know I follow several of y'all and want to rec you to bestie but my brain doesn't retain blog names to share and I'm awful at tagging tbh. So if you post/reblog Witcher content please interact with this post. Thanks a bunch!
16 notes - Posted January 4, 2022
#3
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I didn't have time to post Friday for the week's fics. Life happened but here we are! Hope you enjoy!
Day 15 – Smoke – Rated T – Sam and Dean retire from hunting and live their best versions of lives that work for them. Destiel and Salieen, Canon Divergence 
Day 16 – Red – Rated E – Serial killer boyfriends. Destiel AU
Day 17 – Muse – Rated T – Cas has performed as Jimmy Novak for years. The last few years have been rough and he hasn't been able to write any new music. To loosen up some, his friends take him out for a fun night. From that night forward he started to write as he'd never done before. Destiel AU
Day 18 – Tattoos – Rated T – Werewolf Dean hadn’t told Cas that he was a shapeshifter. Dean is forced to shift and Cas finds him. Destiel AU
Day 19 – Ladies – Rated G – Ladies night with a little extra. No ship, SPN ladies AU
Day 20 – Spa Day – Rated T – Eileen and Rowena set up a spa day for Cas with ulterior motives. Destiel Canon Divergence 
Day 21 – Haunted – Rated M – Dean remembered lost. Then the one day he had finally decided he'd had enough, the man he loved was back. Destiel Canon Divergence
Day 22 – Rain, Rain – Rated G - Kid Jack shows up on their doorstep. Destiel Canon Divergence
Day 23 – Sleepless Nights – Rated T – Dean and Cas welcome new additions to their family. Destiel Canon Divergence (I had accidentally tagged this as mcd, so if you skipped this I PROMISE it isn't mcd. that was my bad when I posted from my phone.)
Day 24- Fish – Rated T – Sam and Jack are up to no good but it has a happy ending. Destiel AU
Here is the series to stay up to date.
See the full post
18 notes - Posted October 26, 2022
#2
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Week two coming at you!
Day 8 – Sober – Rated M - Cas was gone and Dean found himself at the bottom of too many bottles. He knew that he couldn't get the love of his life back if he didn't have a clear head. He'd do whatever it took to get him back. Destiel Canon Divergence
Day 9 – Vintage – Rated G – Cas explodes an ATM b/c it didn’t work properly. Destiel Canon Divergence 
Day 10 – Enchanted – Rated M – Dean buys an antique mirror at a flea market and gets more than he bargained for. Destiel AU
Day 11 – Drag – Rated M – Dean gets caught during a body dump. He is not a very good liar but Cas doesn't care. Two serial killers in the same area and Cas is just trying to protect his territory. Destiel AU Murder Boyfriends
Day 12 – Crossover – Rated T – Cas comes home one day and things are moved around. He checks his wards. They're all still in place. Over the next few days, things are moved, the TV randomly turns on, music plays out of nowhere, and the pie keeps getting removed from the fridge to the counter. Cas reinforces his warding. Then one day there is a man he doesn't know standing in the middle of his living room and he isn't quite corporal. Destiel AU
Day 13 – Morning After – Rated T – Sam wakes up not sure what the previous night after a huge hunt had held. Saileen Canon Divergence 
Day 14 – All for You – Rated M – Dean sees a flyer for an art project that paid $200 a day. Some doctorate student was in need of help with a project. He hoped that whoever Castiel was actually planned to pay. Destiel AU
Here is the series to stay up to date.
See the full post
19 notes - Posted October 15, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
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Hey y'all! Back at it again this year. Here's the first week of fics!
Day 1 Maze/Maize – Rated T – Dean cooks Cas’ favorite foods. Destiel AU
Day 2 Pillow Talk – Not Rated – Aftercare. Destiel AU
Day 3 Digital – E – Dean is in heat and Cas is in another country. Destiel AU
Day 4 Wicked – T – Cas practices darker magic and the gov't doesn't like it. They do more than necessary inspections on his facility. Dean is being punished and gets assigned to difficult cases. Destiel AU
Day 5 A Perfect Disaster – M – Stubborn Dean didn't evacuate when he was told to. Luckily Cas has a safe house nearby. Destiel AU
Day 6 Parody – T – Dean had moved away as soon as he could from his abusive father. It doesn't mean he doesn't still end up dealing with bigoted assholes. Destiel AU
Day 7 Fine Wine – M – Dean and Cas had gone to high school together and occasionally ran in the same circles. It'd been over 20 years since they'd seen each other. They reconnect at a work event. Destiel AU
For some reason it's been all Destiel so far🤷🏾‍♀️. Was not the initial plan. We'll see how the rest of the month goes. Here is the series to stay up to date.
See the full post
28 notes - Posted October 8, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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dbaydenny · 1 year
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I posted 1,208 times in 2022
912 posts created (75%)
296 posts reblogged (25%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@sundaynightservice
@specialink
@most-ment
@michaelbogild
@inkyverses
I tagged 923 of my posts in 2022
Only 24% of my posts had no tags
#poetry - 922 posts
#tanka - 721 posts
#haiku - 178 posts
#life - 39 posts
#writing - 30 posts
#writerscreedchallenge - 27 posts
#love - 26 posts
#spring - 18 posts
#winter - 17 posts
#war - 15 posts
Longest Tag: 26 characters
#life is a bowl of cherries
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
To make, to create
to gather scattered pieces
to leave behind art.
.
D W Eldred
61 notes - Posted February 2, 2022
#4
Tumblr Poets
We don't need paper,
ink and editor's faint praise,
pages for a book
just this special connection,
especially those red hearts.
.
D W Eldred
63 notes - Posted April 8, 2022
#3
Answerless cosmos
I sleep home in your cradle
but lost in your arms,
I am a small collection
of the atoms you've thrown 'round.
.
D W Eldred
63 notes - Posted January 10, 2022
#2
How long are the hours
sleepless nights and starless skies
consume as we search
for dreams that have lost their way
having nowhere for a home.
.
D W Eldred
69 notes - Posted February 14, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
A peeling billboard
all its words losing meaning
saying so little
about something once special
no longer significant.
.
D W Eldred
262 notes - Posted March 5, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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ssahoodrathotchner · 2 years
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I posted 3,054 times in 2022
55 posts created (2%)
2,999 posts reblogged (98%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@maschotch
@hotch-girl
@ropoto
@jaspxr
@doctorstethoscope
I tagged 1,042 of my posts in 2022
#i love one (1) man your honor - 470 posts
#head full many ~thots~ - 83 posts
#pretty lady make brain go !!!!!!!!!!!!!! - 83 posts
#note for writers - 64 posts
#criminal minds - 50 posts
#hotch glare my beloved - 37 posts
#andi rambles - 37 posts
#always rb smiling hotch - 37 posts
#well well fuck me well - 35 posts
#10/10 content - 30 posts
Longest Tag: 103 characters
#i made more than 10 gifs for this season w/o noticing that i went over the limit agkhstbks hate it here
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
the way Hotch immediately puts down his coffee and says “I’ll get the car,” when JJ goes into labor in 4x7 is such a sweet moment to me and furthers my headcanon that his love language is acts of service
30 notes - Posted January 3, 2022
#4
sometimes i look at my masterlist and am amazed ?? that i wrote things ?? AND posted them for others to see ?? and there are so many things ?? like damn that's crazy
93 notes - Posted March 5, 2022
#3
Sleepless
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x GN!Reader
Requested by: Stori my love !! @andromedasstarship
Word Count: 1.2k
Prompt(s): 1 “If I tell you I love you, will you make me pancakes?” & 2 Slow dancing in the kitchen late at night
Summary: a restless night for Aaron ends with late night pancakes and slow dancing in the kitchen
Warnings: brief discussion of a case w/ typical violence, but mostly just fluff
A/N: i love the idea of spending time with someone i love in the kitchen late at night so this fic is a promise to myself that one day i’ll have something like this
Masterlist
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176 notes - Posted April 22, 2022
#2
Better Days
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Fem!reader
Summary: Aaron gets shot and you reflect on your relationship while waiting for him to wake up in the hospital
Word Count: 3k
Warnings: hurt/comfort and fluff
A/N: it’s here !! the reverse of what i usually write lmao but the same hurt/comfort we all love lmao enjoy my dears
Masterlist
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220 notes - Posted June 20, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Together
Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x GN!Reader
Requested by: @clarawatson
Word Count: 1.7k
Prompt(s): 8 Getting caught in the rain, 12 Stealing a sweatshirt/other item(s) of clothing, and 16 Late night drive
Summary: when Aaron can’t stop worrying about a case, you decide to take a late night drive in the rain
Warnings: descriptions of case-typical violence/death, thunder and lightning, Hotch being angsty but also you know i cant resist soft Hotch rights
A/N: from my 400 follower celebration (yes im still going to write all of these fics i swear) as requested by Jessi, whom I love and adore. enjoy 
Masterlist
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248 notes - Posted January 13, 2022
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chainsmckes · 2 years
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Life had never been simple for Cooper “Coop” Gallagher. Born to two teen parents with bad drug habits on the most dangerous part of Florida, he raised himself since he was 5. His parents were present… but they never were present, often high or drunk or both. Cooper had seen unimaginable things by the time his balls dropped. It was incredible that they’d managed to even remotely keep him alive. Coop knew to survive, he had to fight. Not only physically but mentally as well. Cooper, despite being the poor kid in school, graduated with a 4.0 GPA and had offers from various high end schools but threw that all away to pursue his dream of Culinary School. He moved to New York on the night of his graduation with nothing stopping him from doing so. It’s caused resentment with his parents even now at 27. He graduated at the early age of 21, a year before most people his age.. but absolutely no one cared about that and so he ended up as a line cook at a 24 hour diner in Brooklyn. He wanted more so as a side business, he started his own catering company and after months of struggle, he finally caught a break when a billionaire (Tony Khan) had had his food at an event and offered him and his crew a chance to work catering at his company, All Elite Wrestling.
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As of April 23, 2022, the metaphorical heat was on and Cooper thrived a lot more than he gives himself credit for but not even a month later, on May 17, 2022 to be exact, a tragic event occurred. Cooper’s best friend and closest thing he had to a sibling took his own life after a deep and intense battle with depression. Cooper suddenly found himself a bit lost and concerned a bit for his own mental health especially after Stephen had left Cooper his sandwich shop in Orlando. Instead of choosing between his new position as head chef of catering with AEW and owner of an upcoming but still slimming it sandwich shop, Cooper chose both. Recently the loss, the pressure, the tension, and the sleepless nights of trying to remain a functioning human being has caused him to develop a drinking problem.
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Currently, Cooper is in a relationship with Brandi @anuntoldstorie and has been for about 6 months. Recently, they have lost their son in a miscarriage and is still trying to get back to normality after that. Will these lovebirds ever be the same? Remains to be seen…
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As far as connections, I really believe that the best of connections happen naturally. Feel free to imply that your muse/muses stopped by his sandwich shop at any point. You don’t have to message me to imply unless you just want to. I’m really looking forward to bringing this character to life. I normally don’t do original characters.
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xprojectrpg · 23 days
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This Day in X-Project - May 20
Rogue's birthday.
2015: Xavin posts an apology for tricking Illyana the day before. Wade texts Marie-Ange a question about if he should drink more milk to help his teeth goes back and decides that extra cheese on his tacos should do the trick. Allison asks if people have any thoughts about pop music she should listen to that she never got the chance to before. Laurie posts an article and complains about how people take medical professionals for granted. Roxy asks if anyone in Generation X wants to come to a concert in Norwich with her the coming weekend, there are a few takers. Felicia posts an instagram post complaining about her flight home. Hope A. asks Doug to tutor her on observational skills. Sue and Clint run into each other at the mansion; it's not pleasant.
2016: Marie-Ange wanders in on Warren in the sun room and decides he’s going to be her next model, Warren is very much okay with this. A sleepless Maya encounters a handless Julian trying to make coffee and is a jerk, but it ends in hot chocolate.
2017:
2018: Amanda has sunburn due to her connection to New York and last night’s fires. Warren and Lorna meet with XFI’s lawyer and discuss their options in dealing with Quentin’s mess; Lorna checks in with Bobbi to make sure she’s all right after a two-day silence. Logan wishes Rogue a happy birthday. Namor comes to Clint to find out why his trident wasn’t working properly the night before (in typical Namor fashion); afterwards, Clint tells Natasha he deserves four gold stars for dealing with the Atlantean; Clarice treats Logan and Wade for radiation poisoning and reflects on her own experience.
2019:
2020:
2021:
2022: April celebrates her graduation. Fourteen posts about hockey, and later texts Marie-Ange in amusement about the reactions.
2023: Gabriel lets the mansion know that there are some homemade enchiladas up for grabs in the main fridge. Haller emails Terry to ask if she’d be willing to help with ‘Star’s power training. Clint texts Scott to ask if he could go over upgrade specs with him in the Chapel. Darcy and Doug have a chat about why she's so on edge after the Boston trip.
2020:
2021:
2022: Sue wishes Hope A. a happy birthday. Alani invites Clint and Matt to her graduation.
2023:
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xtruss · 1 year
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The sound of army planes can be traumatic for Colorado checkered whiptail lizards, which have a small range in southeastern Colorado. Photograph By Ken Holtgrewe Getty Images
How Wild Animals Cope With Stress—From Overeating To Sleepless Nights
​We’re not the only animals that suffer anxiety. From lizards to song sparrows, challenging situations can have long-lasting impacts on species.
— By Liz Langley | April 25, 2023
Many of us react to stressful situations by drinking too much coffee, sleeping too much or not enough, or overeating.
As it turns out, several wild animals also experience physical reactions to stress. The main challenges faced by wild animals are whether they’ll find enough food or whether they become someone else’s food. But sometimes, it’s people that cause the trauma.
For instance, a new study shows the rare Colorado checkered whiptail lizard stress-eats in response to noise. Part of their habitat includes the Fort Carson Army Base, where low-flying aircraft regularly produce sounds louder than what they’d experience naturally. (Read how extreme heat can stress wildlife.)
After observing some of the wild reptiles and taking their blood, the scientists found that during flyovers, the lizards released more of the stress hormone cortisol, as well as moved less and ate more. Eating more likely compensated for the energy lost while experiencing stress, the authors say.
Here are some other ways animals react to challenging situations.
Sleep Troubles
Sleep, for all mammals, is key—and not having enough can be harmful.
“Sleep deprivation, a form of stress, can elicit increased eating in humans and some non-human animals alike,” says Barrett Klein, an entomologist at the University of Wisconsin-LaCrosse who also studies sleep biology.
In lab studies, fruit flies subjected to social isolation slept less and ate more, and sleep-deprived mice ate more during their recovery. Some butterflies that don't get enough rest forage poorly and lay their eggs on the wrong types of plants.
If some bee species don't get enough sleep, they'll perform their waggle dances, the bee equivalent of GPS, "with a less precise direction component," Klein says via email, giving their spectators less helpful information on where to find food.
Passing on Trauma
Scott Heppell, a fish ecologist at Oregon State University, stops short of saying other animals react to stress like we do.
“That’s a bit too anthropomorphic for me,” Heppell says via email. “But I might say that other animals have somewhat analogous responses,” for example, when stressful events experienced by parents “can affect performance of their offspring.” In humans, that concept is called generational trauma.
Small freshwater fish called sticklebacks appear to pass trauma down to their babies, though the impacts are different among males and females.
In research published in the Journal of Animal Ecology, scientists showed that sons of stickleback fathers who had been exposed to predators were risk takers, but the trauma had no effect on daughters. Mothers exposed to predators had anxious offspring of both sexes—but why remains unknown.
Predator Danger
The mere presence of predators can make animals anxious. Take the song sparrow, a study subject of Liana Zanette, a population ecologist at Western University in Ontario, Canada.
In a 2022 study, Zanette studied wild song sparrows on British Columbia’s Gulf Islands National Park Reserve, where they have few predators. During the study, she put up barriers to ensure that nothing would happen to the birds.
For 18 weeks Zanette’s team intermittently played recordings half of the study birds of friendly animals like Canada geese. No harm, just fowl.
The other half of the birds heard recordings of crows and ravens, which eat sparrow eggs and nestlings.
The results showed that a fear of phantom predators caused these birds to produce 53 percent fewer offspring than the birds that didn’t hear the scary soundtrack.
“The parents are really skittish when they think there are predators around,” Zanette says, so instead of spending their time incubating their eggs or feeding chicks, they flush from the nest.
That all might sound like a bad thing, but evolutionarily the birds’ response is just right. Surviving and producing fewer offspring beats dying and producing none, Zanette says.
Such predator-induced fear can also cause lasting changes similar to post-traumatic stress disorder, she says. In a 2019 study, Zanette found that black-capped chickadees exposed to predators had elevated brain activity and a heightened sensitivity to danger for at least seven days afterward.
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Snowshoe hares are the primary prey of Canada lynx. Photograph By Robbie George, National Geographic Image Collection
An Ancient Dance
In Canada’s Yukon Territory, snowshoe hares don’t need simulations—they have very real predators to worry about. The animals are the main prey of Canada lynx, and the dance between them has been evolving for millions of years, says Rudy Boonstra, professor emeritus at the University of Toronto, who has been studying both species for four decades.
Both species go through a 10-year cycle during which each species’ population fluctuates. When the hare population is high, lynx have a lot to eat and their population goes up as well.
But as the hare population declines the hares are not just being killed by lynx, they’re being stressed by being pursued, even if they escape. These hares produce fewer offspring and their offspring produce fewer offspring, until there are so few hares the lynx begin to starve and their population plummets as well.
Boonstra and colleagues showed that when lynx numbers were high and hares were in decline, levels of cortisol in snowshoe hare blood spiked. This stress takes a toll on female hares’ physical condition, which leads to weaker offspring.
This decade-long prey-predator cycle is a truly wild phenomenon, Boonstra notes, with no human creating the stress.
That’s partly why, like Heppell, Boonstra also doesn’t think human and wild animal stress responses can be compared.
“Their environment has been the same or similar for many, many generations, and ours changes all the time, every day.”
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