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b00kdiary · 1 year

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MASTERLIST

SJM: A Ballad of Flame & Shadow | Azriel Fanfic Alex was falling between worlds- falling through worlds- until she landed with Bryce someplace that was definitely not Hel. And now there was a male before her, the most beautiful male she had ever seen and something other than fear sparked in her heart. Wattpad & Ao3 A Court of Pleasure and Ruin (Nesta x Cassian x Azriel)

Nesta can't stop thinking about how Azriel and Cassian made her feel during training and all the things she wished she could do with them. Looks like her wishes have come true.

Wildest Dreams (Batboys x Plus size reader ACOTAR)

Where the reader finds herself gaining the attention of the most notorious males in Prythian and it seems that even her wildest dreams couldn't prepare her for the night they would share.

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V

Relax (Bat Boys X Plus Size reader) Where the reader goes into the Birchin sauna for some peace– and then falls asleep. She wakes up and finds she isn’t alone anymore. Rhys, Cassian and Azriel desperately want to help her relax. (Hint: High Lady Feyre likes to watch) Dreamer-(Rhysand x Reader)Rhysand begrudgingly goes to Hewn City to secure a marriage pact that will indefinitely bond the two Courts together- but the fine ladies of the Court of Nightmares are not what he wants or needs. Instead, he discovers Lady Y/N, and she has no qualms about telling him how he has failed this City and her. This is more than just coincidence, it’s fate.

Yours (Rhysand x Plus size reader) Y/N meets Rhys in a bar- one month after the worst night of her life. One month after he saved her. But Rhys has no interest in being a hero, and Y/N doesn't want to be a victim. They only want each other.

Euphoria- (Ithan Holstrom x Plus size reader)

Where Y/N finds herself needing to be reminded just how desirable she is, and Ithan Holstrom is more than willing to show her.

Stay With Me (Rhysand x Plus size reader) Part Two Part Three

Rhysand reappears at the cabin four hours after he had gone on a mission- wounded and bleeding. Y/N has no choice but to help him, even if it means yanking out every ash arrow embedded in his wings by hand. But something Cassian once told her makes her re-think the line between pleasure and pain, and she will do anything to make it better for her High Lord. ‘Cassian said that the talon holds the most nerve endings, does that make it the most delicate to touch?’

Better Than Any Fantasy (Ruhn Danaan x Tristan Flynn x Plus size reader) Y/N’s been avoiding Flynn like the plague, and Ruhn knows why and is more than happy to tell him. Especially when that conversation leads to something much better than any of them could have hoped for.

Hurt me (Cassian x Plus size reader)

Cassian and Y/N are late for an IC meeting not that Cassian cares, no, he has two things on his mind: your body and your pleasure.

Mirror, Mirror (Cassian x Plus size reader)

Y/N flees a party where it seems Cassian and Nesta can’t stay away from each other, but when Cassian comes rushing after her, more than one declaration is made and more than one secret is discovered. Cauldron Blessed (Azriel x Plus size reader) When you overhear Azriel say that the Cauldron was wrong about you. Take it (Cassian x Azriel x Plus size reader) Part 2 Rhysand's playing Cupid and his meddling has you experiencing something you never would have thought possible. Unworthy (Azriel x Plus Size Reader) Azriel hated her, he was disgusted by her… and he didn’t want another male coming near her. It all comes rushing to the surface one night when Y/N can’t take his cruelty anymore- and Azriel can’t keep lying to her about how he really feels. Mine (Cassian x plus size reader) Y/N goes wedding dress shopping and is confronted with females who make it clear that they think she’s unworthy of being Cassian’s mate, that she shouldn’t be his wife. Cassian shows her just how fucking wrong they are. Fire Night (Eris X plus size reader) It’s Fire Night and High Lord Eris has to complete the Great Rite. He finds Y/N – he finds his maiden. House of the Dragon: Aemond Targaryen

An Old Flame (fin) Wattpad version

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI a Part VI b The Letter

Beautiful Creature (fin)

Part I Part II Part III

Unexpected (fin)

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI

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starlightbooklove · 5 months

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Let's talk about Nesta Archeron and ACOSF

Pt 1,

Something that I have always been in Acotar is half Nesta, that is, neither pro nor con, because she is a character that I cannot completely love and at the same time I cannot completely hate.

I just like her.

Nesta was a bitch, to her sister, to her father (With reason to do so in his case) and to everyone in general, she was unbearable to me and I remember that the first time I read Acosf I didn't understand anything and I was very conflicted about how to feel about her more than anything.

It was after I reread that I formed a clearer idea and that is that SJM fell short with her, her redemption arc was nice, but it could have been much more, (It needed to be more)

And funny enough is that even some of her stans agree with this (There are too many ACOSF fics).

And the funniest thing is that she has already done it, Chaol's book made me completely change the way I see him to the point that in my opinion he is the most developed male character in TOG together with Dorian, because he really seeks to fix things with those he feels and knows he did wrong, while with Nesta..., there was sex, a lot of sex, sometimes too much sex, and her arc was lost.

(And no, I'm not forgetting the training or the book itself).

Now, Having said that, I can emphasize good things that were done with his character, beyond the fact that she saved feysand lmao, that's the main thing, second to her representation of depression and the self-deprecating thoughts she had about herself, hit hard 🥲, because it does happen, and her trauma around being all cold and mean to defend herself after almost being abused, The whole thing about the cauldron and, on top of that, the death of her father, was something very well constructed, and her shitty attitude is good in the sense that it goes with a character in that state, how many times have I seen characters That are like this because simply what they have been through has made them sour? A lot, But on her, who already had a shitty life being a shitty sister, it didn't look good, because throughout the whole process, even when she tells herself that she doesn't want to be like that, SHE IS A BITCH, You can't fucking deny that.

The book itself is contradictory because it takes to the extreme 'what I want to do and I think about it but I don't do it', that doesn't happen like that all the time, many times, if you want to change, you grab your balls and you're a damn good person because you want to improve, even when it means leaving your comfort zone, Nesta came to that point very late in the book, her attitude is not simply dry, it's downright hostile, and many people confuse that.

Hostile and dry are not the same, Manon for example, is dry with those who love her, but not hostile (all the time), that is why she is such a beloved character. Rowan, at first is hostile but then he's just Rustic and that's it, because it's his way of shielding himself. Shit, Even Feyre becomes dry (and confused with hostile a lot by some fans) the first time she visits Velaris, (with all reason) but again, to shield herself, and this does not take away the affection for the character because we can empathize And understand why.

With Nesta, we understand why and we don't understand why at the same time, and that in a way, is the point, hurt people hurt people, but why did SJM take her so far if she wanted to give her an arc of redemption? And if she took it that far then why she didn't really make her go through her steps and try to fix her mess?

A character that grows is the one who is self-aware of what she did and does something about it, something for real, and the book end just when she was starting LMAO.

Now, it may be that the intention is that all of that was the journey and the end of the book was the beginning of her "i'm gonna try" era, which would make sense, but 😬 idk, i hold on to that. The book is good, and they empower her quite a bit, and that, taking away everything else, makes her a pretty good character, which is what her fans praise about her book, but I definitely think it could have been better.

I will touch more on the topic in depth.

There is a second part 😉.

#acosf #nesta archeron #pro nesta #anti nesta #sarah j maas #sjmaas #acotar

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elriell · 3 years

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A little compilation of the amazing parallels, between former books and ACOSF, these are just a handful of the amazing throwback mentions Sarah gave us of Elriel.

A massive reason why I think Elain and Azriel will be telling their story next is that SJM is bringing back a lot of their important moments, to remind you of how far they have come and how much further they will go!

Azriel mastered himself enough to say, “Thank you.” I’d never seen his hazel eyes so bright, the hues of green amid the brown and gray like veins of emerald. “This will be invaluable.”

She hadn't bought her mate a present. But she'd gotten Azriel one last year—a headache powder he kept on his nightstand at the House of Wind. Not to use, but just to look at. Which he'd done every night he'd slept there. Or attempted to sleep there.

Az ran a hand through his dark hair. “Are we …” Unusual for him to stumble with words. “Are we supposed to get the sisters presents?” “No,” I said, and meant it. Az seemed to loose a sigh of relief. Seemed to, since all but a breath of air passed from his lips.

He offered her a smile back. "I wasn't sure if I should give you your present." [...] The golden necklace seemed ordinary—its chain unremarkable, the amulet tiny enough that it could be dismissed as an everyday charm. It was a small, flat rose fashioned of stained glass, designed so that when held to the light, the true depth of the colors would become visible. A thing of secret, lovely beauty. "It's beautiful," she whispered, lifting it from the box.

A low snarl slipped out of him— “Relax,” Rhys said. “Azriel isn’t the ravishing type.” Lucien cut him a glare.

Azriel offered her a small smile that Elain quickly looked away from. Cassian tucked away his puzzlement. Lucien was certainly not here to snarl at any male who looked at her for too long.

“I’m getting her back.” Nesta slid her gaze to the shadowsinger. Azriel’s hazel eyes glowed golden in the shadows. Nesta said, “Then you will die.” Azriel only repeated, rage glazing that stare, “I’m getting her back.”

Azriel stiffened. “I know. I helped rescue Elain, after all.” Az hadn’t so much as hesitated before going into the heart of Hybern’s war-camp.”

“What if”—I jerked my chin toward the window, to my sister and the shadowsinger in the garden—“that is what she needs? Is there no free will? What if Lucien wishes the union but she doesn’t?”

"What if the Cauldron was wrong?”

“And I think Elain—Elain would like it, too. Though she’d probably cling to Azriel, just to have some peace and quiet.” I smiled at the thought—at how handsome they would be together. If the warrior ever stopped quietly loving Mor. I doubted it. Azriel would likely love Mor until he was a whisper of darkness between the stars.

He was still happy to be Mor’s buffer with Azriel, but there’d been a change lately. In both of them. Mor no longer sat beside Cassian, draped herself over him, and Azriel … those longing glances toward her had become few and far between. As if he’d given up. After five hundred years, he’d somehow given up. Cassian couldn’t think why.

“Azriel won. His one-hundred-ninety-ninth victory, apparently.”

Your eyes are sad, Shadowsinger. He offered her a grim smile. "I lost the snowball fight today."

Azriel and Elain remained in the sitting room, my sister showing him the plans she’d sketched to expand the garden in the back of the town house, using the seeds and tools my family had given her tonight. Whether he cared about such things, I had no idea, but I sent him a silent prayer of thanks for his kindness before Rhys and I slipped upstairs.”

The river house had finally fallen quiet after the raucous Winter Solstice party, the faelights dimming to cast little pools of gold amid the deep shadow of the longest night of the year. Amren, Mor, and Varian had finally gone to bed, but Azriel found himself lingering downstairs. [...]

Soft steps padded from under the stair archway, and there she was. The faelights gilded Elain's unbound hair, making her glow like the sun at dawn. She halted, her breath catching in her throat.

“Why not make them mates?” I mused. “Why Lucien?”

“The Cauldron chose three sisters. Tell me how it's possible that my two brothers are with two of those sisters, yet the third was given to another." He had never before dared speak the words aloud.

“Mor whirled on Azriel. “Why didn’t you say anything?” Azriel held her gaze unflinchingly. Didn’t so much as rustle his wings. “Because you would have tried to stop it. And we can’t afford to lose Keir’s alliance—and face the threat of Eris.”

Lucien, as Beron's son, has the right to demand it of you.""I'll defeat him with little effort." Pure arrogance laced every word, but it was true. "I know." Rhys's eyes flickered. "And your doing so will rip apart any fragile peace and alliances we have, not only with the Autumn Court, but also with the Sprint Court and Jurian and Vassa."

Silence again. Then Azriel tipped his head back and laughed. I’d never heard such a sound, deep and joyous.”

“Nesta’s and led her toward the family room, where Azriel stood in the doorway, monitoring them. As if he’d heard Elain’s sharp laugh and wondered what had caused it.”

“You sure about that?” I asked quietly. Azriel’s Siphons guttered, the stones turning as dark and foreboding as the deepest sea.

Nesta saw the blow land, like a physical impact, in Elain’s face, her posture. No one spoke, though shadows gathered in the corners of the room, like snakes preparing to strike.

Elain bit her lip and then smiled sheepishly. “It’s for the headaches everyone always gives you. Since you rub your temples so often.”

Two small, bean-shaped fabric blobs lay within. Elain murmured, "You put them in your ears, and they block any sound. With Nesta and Cassian living there with you . . .”

The lurking shadows vanished entirely as Azriel’s head dipped a bit—his night-dark hair sliding over his handsome face as if to shield him from that mercilessly beautiful grin. Mor gave no indication that she noticed and curved her fingers toward me.

Elain sucked in a soft breath that whispered over his skin. His shadows skittered back at the sound. They'd always been prone to vanish when she was around.

“Why?” Not a flicker of emotion. “He is Elain’s mate.” I waited. “It would be an invasion of her privacy to track him.”

He left the rest unspoken. Because her mate was here, sleeping a level up. Because her mate had been in the family room and Azriel had needed to stay by the door the whole time because he couldn't stand the sight of it, the scent of their mating bond, and needed to have the option of leaving if it became too much.

[...] Azriel scowled. “I think Lucien will never be good enough for her, and she has no interest in him, anyway.”

Azriel, graceful as any courtier, offered her an arm. I couldn’t tell if she was looking at his blue Siphon or at his scarred skin beneath as she breathed, “Beautiful.” Color bloomed high on Azriel’s golden-brown cheeks.

She looked up at him, her face so trusting and hopeful and open that he knew she had no idea that he had done unspeakable things that sullied his hands far beyond their scars. Such terrible things that it was a sacrilege for his fingers to touch her skin, tainting her with his presence.

There are so many more feel free to add them! ♡

#elriel #elain archeron #azriel #acosf #acosf spoilers #acotar #elain x azriel #azriel x elain #acomaf #acowar #myelriel #myacotar #anti elucien #tobesafe

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julesherondalex · 3 years

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Hello! Have you read azriels pov? If so what are your thoughts?

Hi! 💕 Excuse the late reply but I took a week to read acosf and some more days to actually clear my head on this topic and come up with theories. Beware, this is a long post. Let's jump right into it. 🔎

My thoughts on the Az POV

The first thing coming to mind when I think of Azriel's POV is the fact that Az isn't in a very good place mentally right now. He's jealous, frustrated and angry. He doesn't sleep much and longs for someone while thinking it's so wrong. This only adds to his low self-esteem - he's feeling like he doesn't deserve Elain anyway, he's done "unspeakable things". He feels so low of himself that his presence taints Elain's. I feel like if we're reading his POV, we should keep this perspective in mind.

Now, when I first read the chapter, I'm not gonna lie, it felt wrong somehow. While I was hoping for the tiniest bit of elriel crumb, we got actual steam, sexual tension, and the confirmation that both are attracted to each other and Azriel thinks of Elain with longing and need. They've been exchanging glances and the occasional brush of their fingers and we clearly saw in acosf those encounters are somehow "charged". There has been something in the air for a long time. It's gotten to the point where Az seems to have forgotten Mor. (On a side note: I don't think he's ever addressed his feelings for Mor so unless he does that, I don't believe he's truly done with the Mor chapter, sadly.) The POV had all this Elriel confirmation, the steamy scene, Rhys ordering Azriel to stay away, the Gwyn scene and the regifting.

At first, I was livid with the POV because at face value it reads...not good for elriel and twisted all the softness, fateful, healthy moments into something that is pure lust and just...obsessive. Unhealthy. All of this is - intentionally - contrasted quite well with how Azriel feels in the Gwyn scenes. Yeah, I was disappointed as. hell. and feared for my ship.

Then, I came on here and talked to my friends, my mutuals, and voila - I'm definitely feeling better, safe in my bet for elriel again. As safe as it gets with us not knowing Sarah's plans 😅

The thing is, I don't believe the POV should be read at face value. We/I automatically assumed there's a romantic connection between Az and Gwyn - which might very well be set up - but in reality, we also only have a single scene they talked to each other and had an understanding, it seems. Okay. But this could also be platonic given they've known each other for months and it didn't mean anything all this time.

However what makes me hold on to my hope for elriel is the fact we have 4 books full of foreshadowing. Sarah began laying crumbs for the sisters' stories in acomaf, and since then, we had lots of moments in favor of Elriel. I feel like it wouldn't make good storytelling if all of this were thrown away with a single POV, and certainly not the instance a new side character pops up and has a understanding with one of them.

With the POV, Sarah actually set up lots of things and the plainest being: ANGST. For Heaven's sake, I was so sure elriel was going to be endgame from all we got till acosf that maybe Sarah knew and wanted to shake things up. Without angst the next book would've been boring, right? We know (and after acosf it seems even more clear) that Elain has no interest in Lucien or the mating bond whatsoever. Are we really thinking that in her story Elain will magically realize she's been silly this entire time and everyone else was right, having a mate is wonderful and she'll get together with him? Don't get me wrong, I would absolutely love them getting along and being bffs. It hurts me so much what Lucien must go through. But I just don't think Elain will get together with Lucien romantically. The bond rejection has been set up for a long while. In my opinion, there's no way the bond will be accepted. Acosf only made this clearer, but we've been also saying this before acosf.

With Gwyn as a potential love interest, sjm brought in the unexpected, and quite frankly, successfully made us (me) panic. And now I think that's what it was supposed to do. I think the Azriel POV was meant to set up the forbidden romance trope, steamy scenes between Elain and Az (the virginity comment by Nesta during acosf hasn't been for nothing y'all!), jealousy and misunderstandings.

Now, we get that steamy scene and I don't think there's anything wrong with it beyond Azriel's thoughts of how lowly he sees himself. Up until that point in Rhys' office, there wasn't anything truly problematic with the scene in terms of elriel. They are attracted to each other, and both wanted to act on it.

The Rhys conversation was what put things off at first glance. Made it seems like it was purely lust for Az. All the talk of Rhys thinking Az thinks he deserves to be Elain's mate. For the record, only a minute ago Az didn't even believe he deserved to touch her. Her presence tainted by his. For the life of me, he doesn't think he deserves to be Elain's mate. Come on. Not Az. That assumption is OOC.

He does question the mating bond between Elain and Lucien and whether the Cauldron might have been wrong. He questions how that aligns with the fate of the Archeron sisters with the Illyrian brothers. That's entirely different and valid, if you ask me.

What I will say is that the regifting was bad. It was an asshole move and I don't believe for a second that neither female would be okay with it. So why did he do what he did? He would know it to be a shitty thing to do. There are a few options here that come to my mind: 1) he enjoyed the moment with Gwyn, whether romantically or platonic, and decided to make her happy with the necklace (but then again, if Gwyn knew where it came from, I bet my ass she wouldn't have accepted it) 2) Az wants to stir shit up, kick something off - which might happen if Elain ever sees Gwyn wearing her necklace. It might give him the opportunity to speak up and talk to Elain. 3) Az isn't ready to let go of the necklace - therefore of Elain - and he can't bear to give it back. He can't let Elain go that easily. Keeping it might hurt too much, so he regifts it to Gwyn out of a hunch.

I'll leave it to you to add to this list and decide which one is the most probable option but I think we all know I'm going with 3) because it makes absolute sense to me even though it's shitty (but all of the options are tbh). Az would never give a potential love interest he's serious with a gift he's given to another female who rejected him. Duh. Gwyn also deserves better than that.

Let's sum up:

We have Azriel who's feeling shitty right now, frustrated with fate and his endless longing for mutual love. He can't have what he wants with Elain and it manifests in the bond between her and Lucien. He can't bear it, yet Elain seems to bring him back from his obsessive longing for Mor. Rhys orders Az to stay away from Elain, and unwittingly sets up the forbidden romance trope (thank you for that Rhysie). With Gwyn coming into this, it distantly seems like we have a love quartet, but also a set up for misunderstandings and jealousy. I feel like Sarah is cackling with delight because she got to us so easily with her messy Az POV. She knows what she's doing y'all.

What do I expect from the next book?

I expect forbidden lovers, and surrender. I expect misunderstandings and jealousy. I expect a rejected bond, or an Unmade bond. I expect a grand, epic arc of choice and deciding ones own fate. The themes of choice and fate even find their ways into this Azriel POV. It's Az who points them out. Again, I think Sarah knows what she's doing, and she'll give us some grand scenes and I believe elriel has the best chance to deliver them.

Could I be wrong with all of this? Sure. Could Elriel be doomed to sink with the Az POV? Maybe. All I'm saying is that we have so much foreshadowing and a grandiose set up of angst, we have an overall scheme of choice and we have a pairing that would, simply by getting together, decide their own fate against all odds. And at this point, there are lots of odds against them. If this doesn't make the perfect set up for their story, I don't know what does! 💙

Before anyone comes for me, I will say that I love Gwyn and absolutely adore Lucien. I think they're both great, so no shade for them. If you ship any of these with Elain or Azriel, go ahead and do you! This is just my opinion and I would love anyone sharing your thoughts!! It's so exciting that this fandom is alive again lol. 👌🏼😁

On another note: Thank you to @rhysanoodle, @high-lady-elains and @silver-flames for keeping me sane and providing your theories. A lot of this came from discussing with them and reading their posts. 💙

#acosf #acosf spoilers #elriel #elain archeron #azriel #elain x azriel #I guess #anti elucien #anti gwynriel #tagging correctly so y'all can avoid what you don't wanna read

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azrieltheshadowsingersstuff · 3 years

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So I'm really late to the whole ACOSF rant but I'm still gonna do it, otherwise my brain just won't let me sleep:)

Obviously don't read if you haven't read ACOSF, or actually any ACOTAR books because I'm pretty sure there are spoilers for those as well.

This will be all over the place so bear with me:)

I'm gonna start off by saying these are just my opinions, so I'm sorry if I offended yours in any way:)

IC,Rhys, Feyre and Elaine are not, and never will be, Nesta's real family. The reason I feel like this is because around them Nesta feels like she needs to be worthy of their love and appreciation, while around Gwyn and Emerie she feels loved and appreciated.

Nesta is not less worthy of Cassian just because of the way she dealt with her problems. In general I feel like everyone is about mental illness representation, until they see that the way some people deal with said illnesses is not always "quirky", "funny" etc. She used alchohol and sex to deal with her trauma, but just because Feyre and Elain didn't doesn't mean that her way is wrong (there is no wrong or right way, you deal with you shit how you have to)

Why did Feyre get pregnant so quick. If I remember correctly SJM said in previous ACOTAR books that fae usually need a lot of time to conceive, but I guess Feyre is just that special, huh?

I don't understand why did SJM take away Nesta's powers. Rhys and Feyre reformed the freaking Cauldron, and Nesta killed 1, if not 2 I don't remember, Death God(s), but saving Feyre and her baby is what took them away¿¿ idk I just don't get it.

I LOVE the Rhys slander. I was kinda icky about him even before reading ACOSF, but Nesta's POV cemented my opinion on him. He is not a feminist, no matter how hard people try to make him be, I feel like he and Feyre have savior and superior complexes, so when Nesta didn't glorify him he just didn't like her.

Say what you will about Nesta and Elain letting their younger sister hunt for them and not doing a thing, Feyre and Elain did it right back at Nesta. I'm specially mad about Elain, who people love for being such a sweet lovable person. Nesta protected her all the time, and when Elain was having hard time after being turned, Nesta was there for her ALL THE TIME. When the time came for Elain to be there for Nesta, she just turned her back on her and joined Feyre's court. SJM is gonna have to work hard for me to like Elain

A quick question, what happened in this book. Like really, tell me the plot. To me this book just felt like SJM wanted to get us off her back about nessian, so she wrote a bunch of their smut added some new therms, and that was it. Nothing wrong with a book being primarily focused on the smut and not the plot, but like, at least admit it's like that...

Why is SJM overshadowing Lucien??? And why hasn't Feyre yet told him that Helion is his father??? I don't understand how she feels entitled to keep that to herself after everything that she and Lucien went together thru. He deserves so much more, my precious fox baby🥰🥰

I saw people saying this so I'm gonna include it. Firstly, Tamlin deserves some sort of redemption arc, or in general a happy ending. I don't like how SJM dragged him thru dirt, so Rhys can be a "better man". Next one is very important,and I unfortunately don't have the original post that said this but how many people would love Nesta if she was a guy. Like the attitude, the moodiness, the comebacks... she is unapologetically a bitch and I guess not everyone likes that with female characters.

Lastly, I hope Gwyn and Azriel get their book, I just love them😊

I'm sorry if some sentences don't make sense, English is not my first language and it's past 1am so my brain can't make good sentences at the moment:)

#acosf #acotar #nesta archeron #cassian #nessian #anti feyre #anti rhysand

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abruisedmuse · 4 years

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19 for the prompts :)

A treat this time

Prompt: 19 “You want to go trick or treating?” "Seriously?”

Pairing: Nessian

a/n: Sorry it took a while! my writer’s block has been really bad lately. Enjoy!

Today was Halloween. Her favorite holiday. Not only for the fact she loved the costumes, dressing up, the weather and films, but because it was the night she had met Cassian. If it wasn't for a party six years ago she might not have met him.

However, this year, Nesta Bellator nee Archeron found she wasn't particularly in the spirit of spooky. Not when she looked like an overgrown pumpkin, with her bump jutting out of the shirt. From Braxton-hicks, aches in her lower back, not to mention the swelling in her feet, she was over this pregnancy. At this stage, Nesta's fairly certain her feet were to be permanently stuck that way.

This time around she and her husband of almost three years decided to stay in. Opting for appropriately themed films and eating take-out from her favorite Italian restaurant. The one that made the breadsticks so perfect, the bread seemed to melt in your mouth. A mere thought of them made her mouth dry. She would savor every bite while Cassian rubbed her pudgy toes. Tell her she's beautiful, though in this state, she felt far from it. Half of her clothes didn't fit. Even her maternity clothing seemed to be a struggle. Hell, everything was nowadays. Being ten long days past your due date would do the trick.

Nesta heard the sound of jostling keys in the door. Prompting her to slide the bowl of half-eaten candy under the Cherrywood coffee table. Candy that was supposed to be for the neighborhood kids. She should feel guilty for eating most of it. In her state, Nesta found she could care less. They weren't miserable and exhausted beyond measure like her. Besides, the kids in their neighborhood didn't need all the sugar. Not like she did.

Hearing the creak from the front door and the click as it shut. A faint sound of heavy footfall from her husband's boots echoed from the hall. The sound becoming louder with each step inching towards her. Nesta stood with a groan from the grey sofa. Settling a hand on the swell of her back. Walking, no waddling, like a godsdamned penguin to greet her husband and the food she was dying to devour. Tonight her pain seemed to worsen.

Most likely from lazily hanging on the couch most of the day. She moved as quickly as her nesting body would carry her to the dining table. The square mahogany table adorned with orange, red, and brown on the runner, matching the leaves littering their yard outside. Nesta winced as she smiled at her hero, walking towards her. With bags of food from Nuala and Cerridwen's restaurant, La Bellezza di Cibo. He dropped the bags and rushed to her side. Nesta hitched a breath as the bags hit the floor with a thud. If her food were a mess, he'd deal with her, her... Nesta clutched the back of a ebony chair.

"Nes?" he questioned with worry displayed on his ruggedly handsome features, a hand placed gingerly over her shoulder before resting on the swell of her belly, "Sweetheart, are you okay?"

Her knuckles bloomed white from her tightened grip on the rounded back of a dining chair, "fine." Nesta gritted out, glancing between concerned hazel eyes and her food abandoned on the floor.

Once the tremor subsided, Nesta stood upright. Hands resting over Cassian's warm ones, "Fine," she replied again. Feeling the light kicks and punches from within. By the awe touched grin on her husband's lips, he felt it too, "Just Braxton hicks. As you can tell, he's content in there.

"Nes…" Cassian's thumbs rubbed along her belly, "I think you should call the doctor."

"I think," she huffed out, " you should pick up the food, feed your hungry, very pregnant wife, and rub her grapefruit-sized feet." Nesta realized a moment too late that the words were coming out harsher than intended.

By the way his posture tightened, and his jaw clenched, she knew he was fighting against what he truly wanted to say. That she wasn't in this alone, he should have a say too, and if he's concerned to humor him and call the damned doctor. They had called a few times, and tonight she wasn't doing it. She wasn't going into the hospital yet again only to hear they are Braxton-hicks and have those nurses look at her with slight annoyance—the kind she gave her customers daily. Cassian offered a tight smile, kissing her brow in a silent expression of okay.

She watched his shoulders slump as he picked up the bags walking to the sofa. Her heart constricted as her gaze continued to follow him setting up dinner on the coffee table. He was trying in the only way he could.

Cassian didn't know the inside of her body as she did. His only tells of possible labor were her movements and time. He sighed, pulling out her favorite drink, iced green tea, no sugar. Silently she moved towards the couch. Her husband now putting on Practical Magic, one of her favorites. He preferred the gory films. lately Nesta couldn't stomach watching those.

If she weren't pregnant and past due, Cassian being upset for a few minutes would be nothing. Nesta would have rolled her wines and left him be for thirty minutes, an hour, sometimes all night before talking. Now, she couldn't stand it. Bracing herself on the back of the charcoal sofa, Nesta shook away the dull pain in her spine.

"Hang on," Cassian grabbed the couch pillows settling them against the back of her seat, "okay, now sit."

She did leaning into the pillows as best as she could. Laying a hand on her belly, the other on his thigh. "I'm sorry, Cas. I'm just.. I'm so tired all the time, I'm gigantic and in pain. Calling the doctor and going to the hospital just to be turned away, I can't do it. It's annoying and disheartening. If one of those nurses look at me like that again I will stab them in the eye with a syringe." Those last words she promised as a threat. A sigh escaped Nesta, laying her head against his shoulder, "and I just want to meet him."

Cassian squeezed her hand, reaching for a breadstick with the opposite. Nesta took it, biting into the bread, still soft and warm. She could feel the sting of tears behind her eyes while she chewed. Cauldron this gods damned pregnancy has ruined her non-crying streak a hundred times over.

"I know. Trust me; I'm ready too. It seems like he has both of our stubbornness," he took her in his arms, running fingers through her hair. Nesta wiped her tears with the back of a hand, "You don't have to apologize, Nes. Yeah, I got annoyed for a minute. I don't know what's happening. I walked in, and you're bent over in pain. I had no idea if this had been going on all day or not. He pulled away, taking her feet in his lap. Gingerly rubbing the expanse from toes to ankles with the hardened padding of his thumbs. Nesta hummed her approval.

"I know."

"And you're not gigantic. I mean you-"

"Don't finish that sentence!" she snapped, cutting him a dry look.

He laughed, grinning like an idiot in the way it made her heart flutter, "You're carrying our child, and you look gorgeous doing it. Better?"

"Yes. But you're at morning foot rubs now and speaking of mornings. Tomorrow you're making me crepes."

"deal."

They fell into a blissful rhythm of silence watching the movie. At some point, Cassian handed her the tea. She didn't eat the chicken parm or touch the Tiramisu Nesta claimed to have been craving for weeks. However, he wasn't sure about that. Cassian, the dutiful husband he is, knew every craving and memorized everything she wants and needs. Learning the lesson from Rhys, who was kicked out for a night for getting the wrong the sauce. Feyre's wrath was nothing compared to Nesta's. Paying careful attention to all her tells he knew she's hurting tonight more than usual, which gave him an idea. It was stupid he knew, but if it worked...

"Nes, wanna go trick or treating?"

Turning, she looked at him incredulously. He chuckled at her mouth fully agape, a bit of breadstick tumbling down her black shirt.

"Cassian, you're thirty-one years old, and you want to go trick or treating?" a nod, "seriously?" a second nod, Nesta sat a little straighter, "Let me get this straight, you want to take your nine and then some months pregnant wife trick or treating?"

"Yes, sweetheart. That's exactly what I'm suggesting. We can paint your stomach like a pumpkin with body paint. The doctor said walking helps a chance of labor, free candy, and I'll throw in a rub as soon we get back. I'll even hold your breadsticks and tea."

Before she had a chance to consider, Nesta felt a rush of liquid flow from her. Like someone, some little one popped a balloon filled with water. Nesta stilled for a moment. Time slowed as her stormy grey eyes moved down to her belly. She could feel her cotton leggings thoroughly soaked. Her jaw fell, and her heart pounded loudly. To the point that Nesta knew Cassian was speaking, yet couldn't hear his words. There were only dull noises and a wet feeling underneath her. This was happening. There was no trickery tonight—no falsified contractions.

Cassian knelt in front of her. Face twisted in worry, he quickly transferred to a half-smile, realizing Nesta was smiling from ear to ear.

"Sweetheart?"

Meeting his gaze of amber and green flecked eyes, Nesta finally broke, "We can't trick or treat. Cassian, my water broke."

Tag list: @slightlyrebelliouswriter23 @hizqueen4life @clockworkgraystairs @b00kworm @negativenesta @sjm-things @whataboutmyfries @justgiu12 @illyrian-bookworm @thesirenwashere @ireallyshouldsleeprn @forbiddencorvidae @vanessa172003 @thewickedkings @sleeping-and-books @thefolkofthefic @yafandomsdotnet @aknymph @alittledribbledrabble @iminsanenotobsessed @figuredihadanodustollensofalife @df3ndyr @awkward-avocado-s @maastrash @knifewifejude @st00pid231 @elide-lochan-salvaterre @gisellefigue08 @se-ono-waise-ilia @strangeenemy @The-girl-who-reads-to-much @piratejudedemdji @junipersuns @ladywitchling @superspiritfestival @kendarbahr @shadowhuntersshadow-world @pcarnatio @wanderingjpg @whimsyrhys @bookishwitchling @sayosdreams @theoceanfaewriter @acourtofbookworms

#nessian #nessian fic #nesta archeron #cassian #acotar #acoma #acowar #acofas #acosf #sjm fandom #prompt #prompt ask #answered prompt #the end is nigh #usernite #sv fics #is my writers block over?#I hope so!

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cinaja · 4 years

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Lately, there has been an increase in people who hate Nesta, people saying she is horrible, cruel or even abusive and that they don't understand how anyone can like her. I think the issue here is that these people tend to base their opinion mostly on Book-1-Nesta. Which is a problem, because Book-3-Nesta is very different from Book-1-Nesta.

In the beginning of acotar, Nesta was cruel. No matter what you think of Feyre or Nesta, calling your younger sister who is currently making sure you don't starve names (for things that are a direct result of her actions to protect her family no less) is not okay. Not helping around the house is not okay. It was never Nesta's responsibility to go hunting, just as it wasn't Feyre's, but she could have chopped wood etc. without complaining (same as Elain). Even then, I wouldn't call what Nesta did abuse, but I think we can all agree that it was wrong.

But really, I don't know a single person who loves Nesta for her actions in the beginning of acotar. People like her for what she did later and for the person she becomes.

First off, focusing on actions: Here is a list of good things Nesta did:

Was willing to cross the Wall and risk her life to save Feyre after she was taken away.

Agreed to hold the meetinng with the Queens in her house. (She didn't want to at first, but who can blame her? Humans have every right to be scared of Fae. In the end, she agreed and that's what counts.)

Trained to fix the Wall.

Agreed to go to the meeting and tell her story, something she was deeply uncomfortable with.

Spoke out to convince Beron to stay and fight.

Helped with the wounded after the battles.

Searched for the Cauldron to find the army, something that must have been traumatic for her given her experiences with the Cauldron.

Was ready to help nullify the Cauldron's power.

Was willing to DIE as a diversion. Killed the King. Without her, the battle (and the war) might have ended differently.

Weighing that against the wrong things she did in the beginning, I think the result is pretty clear. And no one dare say she did "the bare minimum". Then you have to say the same thing about Feyre, Rhys and everyone else.

But it wasn't just her actions that changed, but also her general behaviour. From acowar on, Nesta wasn't cruel anymore. She was still cold, yes, and brutally honest (borderline insulting at worst), but never cruel. Also, she showes gratitude to Feyre for what she did, shows regret and shows that she cares again and again (especially about Cassian). Maybe she does not do it as openly as others, but she just isn't an open person.

In my opinion, Nesta in acowar is not that different from Amren by way of behaviour.

I know that some people see Nesta still taking Feyre's money as a sign that she hasn't changed, but I actually don't think that's the case. Nesta should work, sure (if only because I think some routine would be good for her). But no one expects Elain to work, either. Because they were both thrown into a strange world they don't understand and should be given time to adapt. Besides, while I think Feyre personally isn't responsible for her sisters, the Night Court is. When they held the meeting, one of Nesta's conditions was that they take precautions should things go badly. They obviously didn't (at least not enough). And I think the Night Court is responsible for what happened to Nesta and Elain in the same way that Feyre is responsible for what happened to Clare Beddor - not guilty of the harm that happened, but still part of the reason. So, for that and for what Nesta did during the war, paying her a monthly sum for a span of, say, two years she can use to adapt should not be too much to ask. (It's not like they are poor, you know.)

I can, of course, understand and respect if people dislike Nesta. In fact, anyone can dislike any character (that's the fun thing with all these morrally gray people - there's always reason to like AND dislike them). But, even if you dislike a character, you should be able to recognize why people like them and not demonize the character to justify your opinion. Nesta isn't horrible. She did wrong things (and if you dislike her for them, that's fine), but she also bravely fought in the war and she changed. She, like every character in acotar, is morally grey - and whether you like her or not, you should be able to recognize that.

Tags: @sjm-things

#nesta

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baaabyjane · 7 years

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ACOWAR IS COMING *theories*

I HAVEN’T READ THE SPOILERS YET AND I DON’T WANT TO BECAUSE IT WILL RUIN THE FIRST TIME FEELS.

A lot of questions and probable scenarios have been driving me to insanity, and other people’s theories have me short circuiting with excitement and dread.

JUST A FEW MORE DAYS AND WE’LL BE ACTUALLY READING ACOWAR. AND I FEEL LIKE I DON’T WANT TO KNOW BUT I GOTTA KNOW.

1. Who will die? Death says that we’re being greedy and SJM had to give one of the Inner Circle.

2. What is Amren really? PLEASE BE A DRAGON. MAYBE LIKE A WYVERN BUT NOT? (I really miss Abraxos can’t you tell? But Lol wrong series)

3. How is Cassian’s wings? THOSE WINGS BETTER BE GOOD AS NEW OR I LOSE MY SHIT (We could always use spider silk but then again Lol wrong series)

4. Is Azriel and Morrigan okay now? QUIET BABY BAT BETTER BE HEALTHY AND WHY ARE THERE PEOPLE THEORIZING THAT MORRIGAN IS MATES WITH THE KING OF HYBERN??? THIS BETTER NOT BE REAL OR I WILL BREAK THINGS, PREFERABLY THE KING OF HYBERN’S BONES

5. How different is Nesta? Nesta wasn’t described as Fae, she was said to be different. PLEASE TELL ME SHE’S ILLYRIAN! WE NEED CONFIRMATION

6. Is Elain freaking out or is she handling the Fae life like a pro? SHE WAS ENGAGED INTO A FAE-HATING FAMILY, NOW SHE’S FAE AND APPARENTLY HAS A MATE.

7. Is Lucien still an idiot? IF YOU WANT TO BE WITH ELAIN, YOU BETTER JOIN THE SQUAD AND WORK FOR IT

8. Is Feyre’s Mom still alive? What the hell has their Dad been doing? THERE’S SOMETHING REAL SHADY AF ABOUT THEIR PARENTS

9.THE WALL? WE KNOW IT’S GONNA COME DOWN BUT WHEN??? IT’S GOING DOWN I’M YELLING TAMLIN STOP HELPING HYBERN YOU FUCKING TOOL

10. TAMLIN’S REDEMPTION? I WILL ASSUME THAT HE WILL COME TO HIS SENSES AND THAT TOOL WILL TRY TO FIX THINGS *laughs hysterically and rolls into the sunset*

11. IANTHE IS TAMLIN’S BABYMAMA? SHIIIIIIIIIT WHAT IF THAT BTCH REALLY IS PREGGERS? I just don’t like that the evil scheming priestess bitch finally got what she wanted: A BABY WITH A HIGH LORD “What happens in Calanmai, doesn’t stay in Calanmai.” BUT WHAT IF TAMLIN DIDN’T PARTICIPATE IN CALANMAI? That would be stupid because they need that ritual for their lands but I wouldn’t put it past Tamlin because he’s been making really bad desicions lately and he’s been a whiny spoiled child about Feyre.

12. FEYRE WITH RHYSAND’S BABY? YAASSS BABY FEYSAND But wait, there’s a war Hmmm Lmao sorry little babybat jr. but not yet

13. What about the Smut? Tamlin will most likely try to start something with Feyre back at Spring Court, I really think she’ll be able to turn him down easy. ON OTHER NEWS, FEYSAND NEEDS TO VISIT THAT LINGERIE SHOP AND LET’S NOT FORGET THAT WALL SCENE WE WERE PROMISED *winks with both eyes*

14. THE SURIEL BETTER BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE SECRET REVELATIONS I’m just looking for any excuse to have the Suriel and Feyre get together again #BFFs

15. CHARACTERS? Are we ever gonna find out the King of Hybern’s name? WE’RE GOING TO MEET MIRYAM AND DRAKON YAAASSS! WE’RE GONNA SEE TARQUIN AGAIN! Hopefully, we’ll get to meet new characters from the other courts since we’ve only been to 3 out of 7 and das not gud. WE NEED ALLIES! Putting the two halves of the Book of Breathings together will release power that will call to creatures kinda like Amren that are trapped in this world and cannot come back to their own, ARE WE GONNA ENCOUNTER THEM? ARE WE GONNA HAVE TO FIGHT THEM? COULD THEY BE ALLIES? *mutters prayer for TOG crossover*

16. The Return to the Spring Court? I would like to think that Feyre will have people there who would help her. Alis has helped her many times before, maybe she’ll help her again. Lucien is suspicious of her but he wants to be with her sister. She’ll be spying and snooping around to learn about the King of Hybern’s plans, maybe she’ll find secrets like Illyrian wings used as trophies and souvenirs from the old Human Slavery Age.

17. FEYRE’S POWERS? How much more has she developed? Will she delve more deeply into her power? Will we see more of the powers that she only rarely uses? Will she have new powers we’ve never seen her try before? Hopefully. I’M SO EXCITED FOR HER TO GO ALL BADASS AND BLOW EVERYONE AWAY literally and figuritavely.

18. RIDDLE? FORESHADOWING? “Unmade and Made; Made and Unmade—that is the cycle. Like calls to like.” The Cauldron and Feyre must be unmade, what? Idk about the Cauldron but it feels like it pertains to Feyre because she was made into Fae by the powers of the Seven High Lords of Prythian. Is Feyre gonna be the one to die? Is she gonna become human again? Or maybe this quote just meant how The Book of Breathings and Feyre are similar? WHAT DOES IT REALLY MEAN? THIS IS GIVING ME NAMELESS IS MY PRICE VIBES

19. ACOWAR WILL HAVE ELEMENTS FROM SNOW WHITE? ACOTAR was Beauty And The Beast, ACOMAF was Hades and Persephone, how will ACOWAR be like Snow White?

20. So where’s that TOG and ACOTAR crossover I’ve been praying for? YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT, TOO.

P.S. I’M REALLY SORRY BUT I DON’T HAVE ANY POTATO ON ME. PLEASE DON’T JUDGE ME.

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