#Right now it is mostly Keeper so it is a moot point.
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Approximately once a week my brain will pipe up with a reminder that Maro thinks I am the best at roleplaying games.
#This is an oversimplification however she does think I have the most distinct 'characters' which is amusing. They are all me.#However my kins have a rather vast range so I suppose that tracks to a degree.#Keeper#Tabletop kins feel like more than simply kins however I do not have the energy to examine that facet of my identity.#Right now it is mostly Keeper so it is a moot point.
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Roevember 2022 #20: Scholarly
While many important books had been taken to the Crystarium, or copied for inclusion to the Cabinet of Curiosity, a good number of tomes yet remained in the Bookman's Shelves, a hidden and hard to reach library of history and magical theories.
Felina of the Night's Blessed, now a Warrior of Light herself, still had permission to walk through Il Mheg's fields...mostly unmolested, though she had to be cautious. The pixies were happy letting her tend to the books when she came by; they enjoyed the idea of them, along with their fleeting memories of the previous keeper, but responsibility was not exactly their strong suit.
Her memories were not so fickle, as whenever she came to study, she inevitably recalled the best scholar she'd had the privilege to work with (not that she'd say such in Slitherbough, where they passionately defended Master Matoya's skills, as was their right). It was funny, given how she had initially distrusted and disliked him, but eventually the odd fellow had won her over.
Academically. Aught else she might have thought, or felt, about the man was now a moot point, with the Warriors of Darkness--the Scions--returned to their own world. And Felina had her own work to do in their wake, helping rebuild and keep safe this broken little reflection.
Still. It was nice to return and reminisce, now and again.
#Final Fantasy XIV#Lyn Edits#Lyn Writing#Shadowbringers#Urianger Augurelt#Galdjent#FemRoe#Roegadame#Felina#There was a bit of a crush bit of a flirtation bit of a one opportunity taken but that's all it could be and they both knew it#RoevemberXIV
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The Doctor Is In (Part Two of Till Forever Falls Apart, A Peter Maximoff/Reader Series)
Synopsis: Peter’s first few days in his new home are mostly uneventful, so he decides it’s the perfect time to dust off his running goggles and steal some shit. The building with the massive circular stained glass window seems like a great place to start! People with buildings that lavish are usually rich and weak, so what could possibly go wrong?
Tags: Pre-Relationship, Slow Burn, Falling in Love, Attempted Theft, Secrets, Suspicions,
Rating: T
Warnings: Mild Language, Slight Sexual Innuendo
Word Count: 2800~
This work, as well as the other completed parts of this series, have been crossposted to my AO3!
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To Peter’s credit, it had all started with good intentions… okay, semi-good intentions, but that was the best defense he had to offer.
One moment he’s speeding into a funky building with a cool glass window looking for a knick-knack to take home to Y/N and the next he’s falling through endless darkness, searching for anything he could possibly grab onto. It was hell. Worst of all, though, he couldn’t use his speed. The world was only emptiness and darkness for as far as he could reach. Well, it was until he hit the ground.
It was a sudden jolt after what felt like hours of captivity when Peter hit the cool tiles of the flooring below him. The bright light after total darkness burned his eyes. He winced against it, lifting his arms to shield his face. There was no time to acclimate to his new surroundings, though, which were definitely not part of the building he had been inside before he might add, because the second his vision came back into focus a booming voice rang out from behind him.
“Peter Maximoff, what purpose did you have for breaking into the Sanctum Sanctorum?”
Peter spun around quickly on the ground to find a man floating behind him. Wait, floating? He didn’t even have time to question how the stranger knew his name while he was questioning what the hell he was. Was he a mutant? The man looked furious, his red cape billowing out behind him in an almost menacing manner while he stroked his goatee, eyebrows pinched together with rage. Peter had no clue what his deal was or who the hell he was looking at but he did know he had to calm him down fast if he wanted to avert disaster.
Apparently, he was thinking too long though because he wasn’t fast enough.
“I’ll ask you one last time,” the man’s hands came down to chest level, whirring with some sort of orange power, “why did you break into the Sanctum Sanctorum? This is your last chance,”
Somewhere in the distance, a dull thud sounded against the tile, like someone dropping a purse or bag. Peter didn’t have time to think about that, though. He was too busy saving his own life. All he had to do was get to his feet so he could run off! Unfortunately, that was better said than done.
“Woah, Woah, Woah!” he scrambled backward trying to stand but found his feet bound with the same orange sparks that were growing by the second in his attacker’s hands, “I have no clue what the hell a Sanctum Sanctorum is! I think you’ve got the wrong guy, man,”
His assailant cocked his head to the side. “So you’re telling me some other inhumanly fast kleptomaniac mutant from another dimension broke through all of my wards and tried to steal priceless magical artifacts from the Sanctum?”
Peter shrugged nonchalantly. “Magical artifacts? Dude, magic isn’t real. You’ve got the wrong guy,”
Thankfully, the man sighed in exhaustion, letting the orange sparks in his palms disappear as he pinched the bridge of his nose leaving only the ones around Peter’s ankles remaining. For the first time in his life, Peter was glad to be annoying.
“Jesus, I should have had my coffee before dealing with you…”
“I know right?” Peter propped himself up on his hands, “it’s always tragic when you catch the wrong guy, but I’m sure you’ll find your thief eventually. In fact, I think I saw some super speedy dude running towards Central Park when I was walking past that fancy building with the big circle window. That’s so weird! Maybe you should let me go so you can go find your guy,”
The man only seemed to get more pissed off the further Peter dug himself into his own grave. “Oh, I’m not planning on letting you go any time soon. I’m just avoiding a reckoning by letting your keeper know I’m taking you into the Avenger’s custody before we go,”
He was so screwed. “That’s not a-”
Before Peter could even finish his sentence, a crash echoed from across the room.
“STEPHEN STRANGE,”
Now, Peter couldn’t decide if he was saved or even more screwed than before.
There, across the room of what he had now gathered to be a large exhibit at some sort of museum, was Y/N. To say she looked furious would be an understatement.
The art on the walls seemed to shake in her wake as she stormed into the open center of the room, eyes boring holes into Peter’s assailant as she rolled up the sleeves of her paint-stained denim button-up. He could only imagine that this was the reckoning the magic dude was trying to avoid.
The man, Stephen, didn’t waver despite Y/N’s entrance. “Would it kill you to just use my title? I got my doctorate for a reason, you know,” His tone was flat and almost bored as Y/N seethed.
“Fuck you,” she spat, “what the hell are you doing with Peter? And bringing him here of all places? I thought you were supposed to be the responsible Avenger,”
“And I thought you were supposed to keep this menace under control. It looks like we both have a few responsibilities we aren’t keeping up with, huh?”
Across the floor, Peter winced. He hadn’t intended on getting anyone in trouble, he was just looking for a little fun to pass the time and maybe a housewarming gift that would fit in with the rest of Y/N’s antique decor. How was he supposed to know that a crazy, magic, floating guy would take him to what he could only assume was magic prison for breaking into his wizard’s lair? Surprisingly, Y/N picked up his movement.
“Peter, are you okay?” Her eyes never left Strange, flaming with a ferocity that bordered on homicidal, but her voice softened considerably as she spoke to him. He was quick to respond.
“I’m all good! A little tied up at the moment, but it’s nothing I can’t handle!” He shouted back.
Y/N nodded. “Good, just stick tight while I deal with this asshole,”
As the last words left her lips all the softness she had mustered for Peter’s sake dissolved, leaving behind pure, unbridled anger once more.
“You had no right to take him, Strange. We made a deal,”
“You’re right, we did make a deal,” Stephen responded, floating to the ground and taking a step closer to Y/N, “but my duties as Sorcerer Supreme will always come first,”
“That has nothing to do with him! He poses no threat to this universe!”
“He was attempting to steal extremely powerful magical artifacts, Y/N! If a mutant from another dimension had gotten their hands on the Book of Vishanti or the Clock of the Ages who knows what might have happened?”
Y/N stilled. “Peter,” her voice wasn’t the same as it had been when she was shouting at Strange, but it also wasn’t half as gentle as it has been before, “did you steal anything from Stephen?”
Peter, still dazed from the entirety of the experience, was quick to defend himself.
“No! No, I didn’t steal anything!”
One sharp look from Stephen and Y/N sent him spiraling for an excuse.
“Okay, I went in with the intention of stealing, but I had no idea that stuff was magical! I didn’t even know wizards existed! Witches I understood but wizards too? In the middle of New York? Besides, all of this is a moot point! I didn’t actually take anything,”
Surprisingly, Y/N’s expression seemed to soften once again. “See, Stephen? Peter didn’t mean any harm. Now let him go, and this can all be a thing of the past,” As she spoke, he could have sworn that her eyes began to faintly glow.
“I still don’t think it’s a great idea to let him roam free,” Stephen ran a hand through his salt and pepper hair and the restraints around Peter’s ankles tightened slightly.
“Then you’ll have to take him from me,” Y/N brought her hands up, small rippling balls of light beginning to grow in her palms. Peter had never been so scared and aroused in his life. Was this the ‘small power’ she had mentioned to him when he moved in?
“I have remained civil with you and the mages of your order, Strange, but you have no power over me, especially on my own home turf. You lack the time stone now, so you know what will happen if you and I go toe to toe again. Besides, none of that matters. Peter is mine. Mine to protect and defend until he returns to his rightful place in his universe. So, will you let him go, or will we have to settle this the old-fashioned way?”
Y/N’s eyes were definitely glowing now, a brilliant green gleaming from within her as a rough breeze began flowing in from the door across the room. Stephen made no move to attack though. Instead, he heaved a sigh. “You can have your man child back Y/N, calm down,”
Slowly, the glow dissipated, the orbs of light shrinking into nothingness as she lowered her hands. “Thank you, Stephen,”
In an instant, it was as if the pair had gotten along the whole time.
He nodded. “Don’t thank me, just keep him away from ancient magical secrets next time,” Strange paused as if he was finished speaking, but then chuckled softly. It was the most human Peter had ever seen him. “You know how this ends, Y/N. We both do. Are you really sure you want to go through with this?”
It was Y/N’s turn to nod. “I appreciate that you’re looking out for me, but I made my choice a long time ago. There has never been another path for me. Please respect that,”
Peter was clueless as to what any of their exchange meant, too busy rubbing the ache out of his newly freed ankles to think too deeply about whatever deep exchange was happening in front of him, but a nagging feeling in his chest made him think that it must have something to do with him.
Then, in a burst of golden light, Stephen Strange was gone, leaving Y/N and Peter alone as they took in everything that had just happened. It was silent for a moment, the two of them caught between being stunned and glad to see each other, before Y/N’s angry facade melted away.
“What a fucking asshole,” she snickered, making her way over to Peter and offering him a hand, “I hate that guy,”
Peter took her hand and, with a soft pull, was finally upright again. “I know, right? He seems like a total douchebag,”
“Right? Like, yeah it’s terrible enough to kidnap you and try to take you into Avengers custody, but trying to get me to hand you over at my job? That’s just rude on a whole new level,”
“You work here?” Peter gestured at the art on the walls, making Y/N smile.
“Yeah, this is where I go every day. Welcome to the Brooklyn Museum!” She began to lead him out towards the door, linking her arm around his in a strangely intimate act. Peter was sure that she didn’t mean it like that but something about her closeness made his heart flutter.
He guffawed as they walked, passing happy couples and exhibits packed full. “It’s cool here, but I just assumed you worked somewhere… I dunno, more hero-y?”
Y/N laughed. “Everyone always does, but I’ve been attached to restoring paintings since before I ever took up the whole hero gig. I guess it’s the one stable thing I’ve had for my whole life.”
Watching Y/N’s face light up almost made Peter forget that less than an hour earlier he’d been shoved in an infinite dark dimension and threatened with imprisonment by a wizard. It was like she was the only thing worth seeing in a building full of priceless art.
“I’ve always felt strangely comfortable in museums,” she continued, hand brushing against Peter’s bicep in what he could only assume was an accident, “being surrounded by history just feels right to me. It’s like coming home,” Peter couldn’t help but grin, holding back a snicker.
“I’m guessing that’s the real reason you offered to take me in,” he teased, gently ribbing Y/N and making her giggle, “just couldn’t help but bring home a blast from the past who still has their youthful good looks,”
“You caught me! I just couldn’t resist your elderly charms,”
In a moment of poor judgment, Peter found himself leaning into her touch but was surprised to find her leaning right back into him. His heart began to pound faster. He could only hope she couldn’t tell. The feeling of being close to Y/N, listening to her laugh, being the shoulder she leaned on… it was like nothing Peter had ever felt before.
The short remainder of their walk to Y/N’s destination was mostly quiet, but neither of them tried to pull away from the other. Their moment only ended when they reached a large door labeled ‘Staff Only’. Y/N finally unlinked her arm from Peter’s before turning to face him. He was proud to note the flush on her face.
“I’m gonna go grab my bag,” she muttered, worrying the edge of her lip with her teeth, “do you mind taking me home? Traveling with you would probably be faster than hailing a taxi, and way less expensive,”
Between the thought of getting to be close to Y/N again and the excitement of getting to show off his powers, Peter was eager to please. “Sure thing! Do you want me to grab your bag for you? I’m sure I’d be quicker?” He emphasized his statement with a wink. Unfortunately, it didn’t have the desired effect.
Instead, Y/N looked almost nervous as she shook her head no. “I’ve got it, Peter,” she insisted.
He quirked up an eyebrow in surprise. “You sure? We could be home in a minute tops, just say the word,”
“There’s just a lot of important museum stuff back there! I trust you Peter, but this is priceless art we’re talking about, so I’d rather not take any chances. I’ll be back in a second!”
She slowly backed towards the door, offering him one last smile before disappearing into the darkness beyond. Something about her expression turned Peter’s stomach. It wasn’t unfamiliar, she had acted similarly in a few days Peter had known her at seemingly random times, but it just seemed… suspicious, like there was something he should definitely know that he was being kept in the dark about. Despite everything, he shook off the feeling, chalking it up to him not understanding all the intricacies of this new universe. If love made him blind, he was willing to take that chance.
It only took a few minutes for Y/N to emerge, a small messenger bag in hand, but when she did she was joyful once again, offering Peter an apologetic smile. “Sorry about that. Did I miss anything while I was gone?”
He shook his head, pulling down his goggles and offering her his hand. “Not much, just the end of the world,”
She giggled. “So do I just hop on your back or what?”
Peter’s heart skipped a beat. In a second he was down on his knee. “All aboard,” He did his best to keep still as Y/N settled herself on his back, then he was lifting her easily, arms hooked under her knees as she giggled into his hair. “What’s so funny?”
She wrapped her arms around his shoulders securely as he stood. “I just expected you to call yourself the Bohner express,”
It took all of Peter’s strength to keep his laughter under control. “You tell me that now? After the opportunity to use it has passed?”
Y/N squeezed him a little tighter. “I’m sure you’ll get to use it next time,”
The thought of a next time sent Peter’s heart rate through the roof. Oh, it was on.
“I’d hold on if I were you,” he said, smirking, “the Bohner express is leaving the station,”
Y/N was quick to snap back. “Let’s hope it doesn’t disappoint,”
“Oh Y/N, the Bohner express never disappoints,”
“Prove it,”
Peter had them back to the brownstone in record time.
#peter maximoff#peter maximoff x reader#evan peters#evan peters x reader#marvel#doctor strange#quicksilver#fanfic#wandavision
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Wheel of Time liveblogging: Towers of Midnight ch 3
I have been waiting for this reunion for literal years. It did not disappoint.
Chapter 3: The Amyrlin’s Anger
Oh, we’re doing this!?
One thing I can guarantee: I am definitely not ready. Childhood friends turned childhood sweethearts turned near-siblings turned uneasy allies turned near-enemies, perhaps turned uneasy allies once more, with prophecy and opposing institutions and the apocalypse hanging over them?
I’m just. In case you haven’t noticed, I have a lot of thoughts about this whole dynamic, and I have been waiting for this… probably since they last saw each other in Lord of Chaos. Before that, even. Since they were set on their separate paths, but with this thread, strained and near at times to breaking but a thread all the same, of some kind of love between them that might, in the end, be enough to do what their predecessors could not, and face the end together.
Also their stories have been running in this fascinating not-quite-parallel for so long but they haven’t interacted in so long that I’m just! Very excited for this reunion and the pain it will no doubt bring!
I should start reading now, shouldn’t I?
Egwene floated in blackness. She was without form, lacking shape or body. The thoughts, imaginings, worries, hopes, and ideas of all the world extended into eternity around her.
The imagery of that last bit catches my attention here because it plays very close to the position Rand holds: stood at the centre, a force, or a being more than a person, touching all the world or – in Egwene’s case – all the world’s dreams. It’s just an interesting one, in amongst all the other parallels and inversions between them.
Though her feelings for Gawyn were still strong, her opinion of him was muddled recently.
Just break up with him already. Please. You’ve already once decided that actually no, I don’t want a storybook romance with the designated hero thank you very much; you can do it again.
The dreams of all the people here – some from her world, some from shadows of it – reminded her why she fought. She must never forget that there was an entire world outside the White Tower’s walls.
This is her anchor, just as Rand has now at last found his. Or, not even an anchor so much as a reason. Something to fight for, something to remember and strive for beyond the fight itself. And again this places her very much at the centre as well, looking at all the people, all the dreams, the entire world. They just each have their own ways of going about it, and their own reasons for doing so.
Time passed as she lay bathed in the light of dreams.
Just quoting this one because it’s pretty.
It’s sad to see Egwene thinking of the Wise Ones in terms of ‘dealing with’ them, but also not really surprising; there’s been a distance between them ever since she took on this role. They hid the events of Dumai’s Wells from her and she chose the Aes Sedai over them and it is, perhaps, one of the harsher aspects of the way she absolutely embraces her role, the good and the bad.
Ugh, fine, dream of Gawyn if you must.
A more simple life. It could not be hers, but she could dream…
Everything shook.
Or not. I’m just imagining this as the Pattern itself interrupting like ‘EGWENE, PLEASE. YOU CAN DO SO MUCH BETTER THAN HIM.’
(Yes, the Pattern speaks in all caps. No I will not be accepting constructive criticism on this point).
This pleasant dream interrupted by an emergency broadcast: thirteen black towers rising and then all but six falling. In case you weren’t keeping track of how many Forsaken were still alive, I suppose.
And then a follow-up as a reminder, I assume, that Mesaana is still in the Tower.
Unless the eagles-and-snake bit is referring to the Black Tower? Still no idea what’s going on there these days; it’s been a while and I’m very, very curious after that ominous line drop in the KoD epilogue.
She saw an enormous sphere made of the finest crystal. It sparkled in the light of twenty-three enormous stars, shining down on it where it sat on a dark hilltop. There were cracks in it, and it was being held together by ropes.
There was Rand, walking up the hillside, holding a woodsman’s axe. He reached the top and hefted the axe, then swung at the ropes one at a time, chopping them free. The last one parted, and the sphere began to break apart, the beautiful white globe falling in pieces. Rand shook his head.
Innnnnnnnnteresting.
The sphere (and its breaking) sounds – first of all a lot like the Sharom because what, you thought I’d pass up a Rhuidean reference? – like the Dark One’s prison, perhaps. With Rand cutting the ropes like breaking the seals.
Or maybe the Choedan Kal, with all the brilliant light of that enormous power, that he has now broken. Or the world itself, I suppose. I’m going with the Dark One’s prison here, probably.
But what are the twenty-three stars?
Thirteens are common, you can’t swing a cat in this series without hitting a duality, threes and sevens crop up on occasion… but what the hell numbers twenty-three? Except for the graves Bashere once had to dig for oak trees on the orders of the mad general he served, but while there may be no such thing as coincidence, that’s a bridge too far even for me.
Nations? Okay now I’m just curious if I can name them all, so… in the wetlands we have: Altara, Amadicia, Andor, Arafel, Cairhien, Far Madding, Ghealdan, Illian, Kandor, Mayene, Murandy, Saldaea, Shienar, Tar Valon, Tear. Then the Aiel, or: Chareen, Codarra, Daryne, Goshien, Jenn (?), Miagoma, Nakai, Reyn, Shaarad, Shaido (?), Shiande, Taardad, Tomanelle. Then Seanchan and Shara on the edges, the Atha’an Miere and the Tuatha’an, and the dead nations of Malkier, Manetheren, and the Amayar. The Ogier. The even-more-dead nations like Almoth and Eharon and whatnot. But even playing with the obvious ones like how to count the Aiel, or the dead nations, or the city-states, there’s not an obvious 23.
The Hall of the Tower maybe? Three Sitters from each Ajah is 21, so with Amyrlin and Keeper we’re at a much cleaner 23, and there is the whole ‘Watcher of the Seals’ element of the Amyrlin’s role, so twenty-three stars watching could make sense.
Or, hell I don’t know, maybe there are 23 verses in the Karaethon Cycle. Meh.
Well, Egwene’s focused on the Mesaana implications (rather than the Messiah implications; I crack myself up sometimes), which seems fair enough.
“He’s here, Mother. At the White Tower.”
“Who?”
“The Dragon Reborn. He’s asking to see you.”
HERE! WE! GO!
Because you know what this means? It means, once again, that we’re going to get outsider POV of Rand, after a crucial turning point in his character.
Twice. Because first, we got it via Almen Bunt, effectively a random character. We got to see a ‘first glimpse’ of Rand, as it were. But now we get to see through the eyes of one who knows him – or rather, one who knew him. One like him in some ways and so very different in others. An opposing role who once was a friend. There’s just so many potential layers there, through which to observe, and I am inordinately excited for this.
*
Though okay right as I say that we shift POV to Siuan, so I may be pre-empting this.
That said, it’s either going to be some form of outsider POV or it’s going to be Rand’s POV and either way I’m going to be on the damn floor so it’s a win-win situation here.
The Dragon Reborn? Inside Tar Valon?
I mean technically that was the goal all the way back in EotW, so you could argue that he just took a really, really long detour. Across the entire continent, a past life, and near-destruction of the world, but… details.
“He was at the Sunset Gate”
How appropriate. Is there perhaps a Wind Tower for him to climb?
“What is his game, do you think?” Saerin asked.
“Burn me if I know,” Siuan replied. “He’s bound to be mostly insane by now. Maybe he’s frightened, and has come to turn himself in.”
“I doubt that.”
“As do I.”
Harsh, Siuan. But not entirely unfounded – at least on the mostly insane part. He’s not, but first of all how would she know that and second of all, if this were a few days earlier, that would be a much harder one to argue. (For the record, my own interpretation of Rand’s sanity or lack thereof before Dragonmount is a strong vote in favour if It’s Complicated).
Of, course, then there’s the whole issue of ‘how long can you stay sane when the entire world is waiting for you to go mad’ but that is, perhaps, a moot point now.
“Maybe he heard that Elaida was gone,” Siuan said, “and thought that he would be safe here, with an old friend on the Amyrlin Seat.”
Oh no this already hurts. Honestly I think any reference to Rand and Egwene as old friends is probably going to, at this point, but also the way Siuan goes to this idea of Rand needing a place of safety. A refuge. Because in so many ways, for a very long time, she wouldn’t even have been wrong. It’s just that it wasn’t an option and there was no such place and the Dragon Reborn couldn’t afford that kind of weakness, and anyway he was never looking for safety for himself; it was keeping others safe from him that he wanted, back when he was just a shepherd boy holding himself together with determination and fragments of Warder instruction against power(s) trying to claim him from within and without.
But Siuan is remembering that boy, and I’m also remembering Rand in the early days at the Stone of Tear, trying so earnestly to let Elayne and Egwene help him with saidin, and how that, from a certain perspective, is not really so different from trying to find some safety in friends.
“Reports call him mistrustful and erratic, with a demanding temper and an insistence on avoiding Aes Sedai.”
I mean, up until – what, a day ago at most? That would be not at all inaccurate. Especially from the outside.
Really I think this whole scene with Siuan and Saerin is largely to remind us of how Rand comes across to the rest of the world. Because the thing about that Dragonmount epiphany – a crucial part of it, but one that is likely going to also result in some complications – is that it was unwitnessed. Just Rand, alone, thinking. And if the cleansing of saidin was difficult to believe by those not directly involved (and even by some of those who were), how much harder will this be, in its own way?
And just to set the scene even more ominously as far as anyone but the reader is concerned, the floor tiles are now the colour (and sheen, and probably texture, and very possibly actual chemical composition) of blood.
It is interesting to contrast the feeling of approaching this meeting to how it felt in the buildup to Rand’s meeting with Tuon last book. That was just full to the brim of impending doom, of ‘there is no possible way under the sun that this will end well’, of ‘oh no, how disastrously is this going to go?’ because at that point Rand was in freefall and the only certainty was disaster. Now, there’s a sense of lightness in approaching this meeting. I mean, I’m still quite sure it’ll hurt me, but the actual tension is different. It feels like waiting for catharsis, almost, rather than waiting for catastrophe.
So hey, maybe we just look at that meeting with Tuon as a practice run for Rand in terms of how to negotiate treaties with a woman who controls a decent part of a continent. If nothing else, it set the bar about as low as it could possibly be, so this can only be an improvement!
Siuan had harboured a small hope that she herself would be chosen [as Keeper]. Now Egwene had so many demands on her time – and was becoming so capable on her own – that she was relying on Siuan less and less.
That was a good thing. But it was also infuriating.
Oh, Siuan. Siuan’s thoughts about her position in the Tower and how it has changed are always a little sad to read. She’s so strong that it’s easy, almost, to forget just how much she’s gone through – and she can’t even just put it behind her and move on because she’s surrounded, every single day, by constant reminders of all she has lost and all that has changed. And even so, we only get these occasional moments of sadness or bitterness or frustration from her. The rest of the time she just… keeps going.
She wanted to do what she’d set out to do, all those years before with Moiraine.
It really is kind of incredible dedication to a cause. Even if ‘shepherding’ the Dragon Reborn is perhaps not really what is needed, she has paved so much of the way, and even from the sidelines has been instrumental, and this has been more or less her entire adult life. A thankless and often punishing task, one that has gone and will likely continue to go largely unacknowledged, one that has brought her hatred and suspicion and pain, and yet she does not question it, does not falter.
It's… I guess in a way it comes back to the whole idea of those who choose vs those who are chosen, but I like the way we see these characters who aren’t the Chosen One but who still give everything they are, and everything they have, to this world and this cause. Some because they must and some because they choose to and some for reasons in between but it’s again this sense that while Rand stands at the centre of it, there are all these other stories and sacrifices and triumphs and tragedies spiralling out from that centre, all weaving together into this pattern. Or Pattern, as it were.
Also, I would like to strongly second the ‘with Moiraine’ part of that sentence. Can we have her back yet please? I’ve been good, I promise!
Bryne’s here too, which means I also get to reminisce about the first (and last) time he met Rand, even before Siuan did, but another scene of Rand as little more than a shepherd, uncertain and afraid and getting by on determination alone and yet, as with his meeting with Siuan, still surprising those around him by being just a little more than expected.
(As for Rand’s first meeting with Egwene, we have no textual evidence but given their ages it probably involved eating mud).
“You came faster than I’d assumed you’d be able to,” she said.
That is, quite literally, what she said. I’m sorry, I’m twelve.
“She’s what we need now,” Bryne said, “but you’re what we needed then. You did well, Siuan.”
YOU DID WELL
I’m sorry, Moiraine’s letter to Rand really just loaded all variants of that phrase quite heavily and it’s not Moiraine saying it to Siuan but it may as well be, and to have anyone looking at all she has done and all she has been through, looking at someone most Aes Sedai now dismiss as inconsequential at best and to blame for their problems at worst, and actually seeing everything she’s achieved and everything she’s sacrificed and to just acknowledge it outright is… such a small phrase but it means so much. Because how many others would say that? How many others could? So few even know what she’s done and why and for how long. Egwene, maybe, but Egwene is still in some ways her protégé and so not really in a position to give that kind of praise. Moiraine, but she’s still… on holiday. And that’s really kind of it.
There’s a reason these kinds of tasks are called thankless.
“He’s standing below, watched over by at least a hundred Warders and twenty-six sisters – two full circles. Undoubtedly he’s shielded”
My first thought was ‘good thing this is Rand after Dragonmount otherwise I don’t think there’d be a Tower right now’, but then, Rand before Dragonmount would probably quite literally not have been caught dead within balefire distance of the White Tower.
Whereas now… what a stark difference this highlights in his entire mindset and character. Once, the possibility of thirteen Aes Sedai sent him away from a city he was holding, tense and desperate and furious. Once, being shielded was – well, I believe the direct quote was ‘Lews Therin fled screaming’. Once, Aes Sedai so much as touching the One Power in his presence without his permission was like dancing on a minefield.
Now… he stands calmly, shielded and within the Tower itself, the stronghold of the Aes Sedai, of his own free will (and that’s it, isn’t it; that’s what truly makes all the difference in so many ways).
Also a bit of a random comparison but I can’t help but be reminded of Taim walking into Caemlyn to claim Rand’s amnesty, guarded and distrusted and hated by pretty much everyone around him and yet appearing, himself, all but unaffected by it.
“Well, what did he look like, then?”
“Honestly, Siuan? He looked like an Aes Sedai.”
Well. Lews Therin was. In an even older sense of the title.
And if we’re looking at the title itself, and its meaning… servant of all is sort of in the job description of a messiah figure, in a way.
I like how we’re reminded that, because of her Talent for seeing ta’veren, Rand literally glows to Siuan’s eyes. Which means the Dragon Reborn, the chosen one, the saviour, having now fully embraced his role, is walking into the Tower literally haloed in light. There’s just a tiny bit of religious symbolism here, is what I’m getting at.
I also – for all that I’m still hoping for a glimpse of Rand through Egwene’s eyes – am very very happy with the choice to show this through Siuan’s POV. Because in so many ways it is a reflection of that scene in TGH where he is summoned to the Amyrlin, and she gets her first look at the boy who will be the Dragon but does not yet know it, and tells him what his role will be, and he surprises her in his stubbornness and strength but still does not truly accept what she says.
Now, we get the Dragon Reborn calling for an audience with the Amyrlin, having finally and truly embraced the full reality of that role. The first was, in a way, to set his path. This, then, feels almost like closing it. And in between those bookends was that long, fraught journey towards acceptance.
Me? Obsessed with symmetry and reflection in a narrative? Never.
She froze as he met her eyes. There was something indefinable about them, a weight, an age. As though the man behind them was seeing through the light of a thousand lives compounded into one. His face did look like that of an Aes Sedai. Those eyes, at least, had agelessness.
This is one of the things I just absolutely love about outsider POV: the way it allows you to almost re-experience the full weight of what you already know. To be able to almost… soft-reset, and then open your eyes and have the impact of it all over again. None of this is news, really, to a reader who has seen Rand atop Dragonmount, or even in the first chapter of this book. But we get it again anyway, because for one thing it’s fun and for another it just serves to highlight what he looks like to one who does not have the privilege of being in his head (not that that’s… a particularly exclusive list these days, but that’s beside the point).
And it’s also interesting how this doesn’t humanise Rand in the perception of others – he’s still very much in the position of being seen more as a force of nature than a person – but the tone and the effect are so very different to before, for instance when he was lost or in pain or just desperate (or all of the above) and yet perceived as arrogant, inhuman, even monstrous. There’s still this sense of… not being seen as just a person, being seen more in the heroic lines and angles of power and weight of legend, but the difference, I think, is that Rand himself accepts it now. It is now a part of who he is, and a part of him he accepts, and embraces, and steps willingly into.
It also gives him some rather extraordinary weight of personality so making his way through a crowd of Warders is a piece of cake. See, sometimes being the chosen one has its benefits.
“And Siuan Sanche. You’ve changed since we last met.”
Oh. Okay yeah the fact that we get him saying this to her, rather than the other way around, is a really, really excellent way of just subtly shifting the entire balance of power – not even quite power; something else I can’t think of a good word for – of the scene.
It's the way it takes the way this scene is so neatly set up to be a bookend of that first meeting between them, and just… flips the obvious line on its axis. It’s still there, we’re still on script, but it’s ever so slightly not what you expect, and that difference itself becomes the point. Because Rand is no longer the object of the scene; he is very much its subject. The assignment of agency and proactivity has shifted (he has chosen, now, rather than been chosen; a semantic shift that makes perhaps literally all the difference in the world), and this is just a really cool way to play with that.
If that made any sense.
“You once took an arrow for me. Did I thank you for that?”
This… this gentleness is absolutely killing me and we’re only a few lines into his actual appearance in this chapter. The way it’s no longer forced, or agonised, or desperate, or serving only as a sharp contrast to either anger or apathy to remind you of who he once was. Instead it’s just… there. Without brittleness or the aching sense of something lost. There’s just a weird kind of beauty in the simplicity of this, in how it’s just… him, without any of the hundred things waiting to shatter beneath that statement.
Maybe that’s it; the gentleness that doesn’t feel like the precursor to shattering glass. The way this isn’t a veiled threat, or a barb, or a forced admission, or a conversational gambit. Just thanks, remembered honestly and offered freely and that’s… it.
(Moiraine once took a Forsaken for you, Rand. Be sure to thank her for that too).
Anyway, Siuan sings Egwene’s praises as Amyrlin, of course, and apparently everything Rand says or does in this chapter is going to just get me because:
He smiled again. “I should have expected nothing less. Strange, but I feel that seeing her again will hurt, though that is one wound that has well and truly healed. I can still remember the pain of it, I suppose.”
Again it’s just the gentleness that pervades all of this, where once there was turmoil and pain and a rage in him fit to burn the world, or else terrifying coldness and absence and a distant voice screaming. It’s like everything has finally fallen silent and only then do you realise how loud everything was before, and how maddening. Just… Rand being able to smile simply, and feel and express emotions in the normal human range.
And that sense of… wonder, almost, that you get from him at that fact. It’s—there is very much a rebirth kind of feel to a lot of this, because a part of it is that Rand is very, very aware of where he has just come from and where he stands now. That’s the whole point: to get to this, he had to choose it and realise it and open his eyes, I suppose. And so now he’s seeing everything through that new filter (or perhaps without the noise of the old one) and there’s a kind of beautiful simplicity and something like but also entirely unlike innocence to it.
Tiana has a letter for him with a red seal… one of Verin’s, maybe? If so, Rand sure has a track record with Aes Sedai and letters left to him. She did have several, when we saw her with Mat… and I struggle to think of who else would have left one. Cadsuane, maybe?
“Do your best to calm Egwene when I am done,” he said to Siuan. Then he took a deep breath and strode forward
CHILDREN. ALL OF THEM. That, right there, for probably the first time this book, is absolutely 100% a glimpse of Rand al’Thor, Woolheaded Sheepherder, and you cannot convince me otherwise.
Wise, gentle, reconciled to his role, remembering his past life and accepting who he is… and still taking a deep breath and making contingency plans before going to a stubborn-off with his former childhood sweetheart. I’m laughing.
*
OH IT’S EGWENE, WE DO GET TO SEE THIS IN EGWENE’S POV, YES THIS IS EVERYTHING I WANTED.
This was not Rand al’Thor, friend of her childhood, the man she’d assumed she’d one day marry.
Oh no, just start right out with a gut-punch why don’t you. No, Egwene, he is.
Except… he also isn’t, and that’s the sad part. But if this is to work, I still think that’s going to be the key: that they know—knew—each other as people. Except now Egwene is deliberately telling herself not to do that, and while it’s understandable it’s… that way lies the end of the Second Age.
No. This man was the Dragon Reborn. The most dangerous man ever to draw breath.
This hurts me in exactly the way I was hoping it would.
Just as Rand has finally accepted himself, and in some ways come back to himself (not quite, because you can’t go back you can only go forwards as the Wheel of Time turns, but he’s no longer forcing everything about who he was away), Egwene is forcing herself to see him as anything but that. As just the Dragon Reborn, legend and monster and saviour and destroyer. It’s a perfect mis-alignment of timings.
(Egwene is steeling herself, just as Rand has finally stopped trying to become steel).
“Egwene,” Rand said
IT’S! ABOUT! THE NAMES!
She’s thinking of him, emphatically, as the Dragon Reborn… but the dialogue tag betrays her. We are in her POV and as soon as he speaks, he is Rand.
And the first word he says is her name. Not ‘Mother’ or ‘Amyrlin’, not the opening of some request or demand. Just… ‘Egwene’.
He is the Dragon Reborn, come to see the Amyrlin—he asked for the Amyrlin—and she is the Amyrlin steeling herself to face the Dragon Reborn and yet in the first moment, when that silence of waiting is broken, they are Rand and Egwene and—
I just. Maybe I’m reading too much into this but it’s perfect and it hurts and I love it.
(Names are important).
He nodded to her, as if in respect. “You have done your part, I see. The Amyrlin’s stole fits you well.”
WHY DOES THIS HURT ME? WHY AM I EXPERIENCING AN EMOTION?
They’ve both just come so far and through so much and they hardly even know one another anymore, and there’s this almost-but-not-quite uncertainty and almost-but-not-quite familiarity, and yet it feels not like the anticipation before an ‘everything goes wrong’ moment but instead the anticipation of… maybe, finally, finding their way back to something? Or forwards, I suppose. It’s like the tentative formality of meeting someone for the first time in years, unsure of them and of yourself and of everything that’s happened in the interim but there’s something weirdly hopeful about it.
Maybe I’m just so used to liveblogging pain that I don’t know what to do with myself when it’s not there, except in echoes and memories and all the space that has grown between them, but this is like… a hand offered across that intervening space.
From what she had heard of Rand recently, she had not anticipated such calm in him.
I mean. That’s… fair.
Well, or she might have been led to anticipate a very different kind of calm. The calm of ice or cuendillar that could in an instant become, you know, balefiring an entire fortress out of existence.
Maybe save your musings on whether or not he’s a criminal for whatever passes as a Geneva Convention in this world, Egwene. We don’t have time to unpack all of that right now.
“What has happened to you?” she found herself asking as she leaned forward on the Amyrlin Seat.
“I was broken,” Rand said, hands behind his back. “And then, remarkably, I was reforged. I think he almost had me, Egwene.”
HELP.
THIS IS JUST.
I… wow. What do I even do with this?
Just as the first word out of his mouth was her name, and her first thought of him was as Rand… now, despite sitting on the Amyrlin Seat—which we are quite literally reminded of here, and I don’t think that’s accidental—her first words are… call it concern, call it curiosity, call it demand, call it accusation even, but that’s not Amyrlin to Dragon Reborn there. That’s not the opening of negotiations or a summons or a meeting. That’s Egwene, looking at Rand. It’s like Nynaeve in TFoH reaching for him almost instinctively and saying ‘at least let me Heal you’.
And then Rand’s response!
‘I was broken’. Such a simple statement for so, so much more. And yet… that’s what it is. It’s the simplicity, again, that gets me. The simplicity and the self-awareness and the way he can look at it now, with that sense of removal, but this time not because he’s walled himself off from the pain; instead, he lets himself feel it but he has accepted its reason and its source and its necessity. He’s no longer fighting against himself, and that lets him bear so much more, because so much of that pain came from that battle against himself, and from the fear of what he might become.
He spent so long trying to forge himself into steel, but in the end that’s not the reforging he needed. And now he knows that, and sees it, and there’s just something about a character who can stand on the far side of their own breaking and their own agony and speak of it calmly, whole.
It's just an entire situation I’m having here.
And that last bit. ‘I think he almost had me’. The memory of ‘it is HIM’. And the fact that Rand can see that too, now; can see how close he came to the Shadow without ever turning from the Light, and understand that nuance.
But also… there is still one very glaring loose end there: Rand has used the True Power. Sure, he doesn’t seem particularly… uh… compromised by that at this point, but I still just cannot imagine that won’t be brought back in some way.
He spoke differently. There was a formality to his words that she didn’t recognise.
And then it’s lines like this that keep this scene from being… to perfect? Not in terms of execution, but in terms of ‘things going well and painlessly for characters’. Because there is still a sadness to this, to Rand and Egwene looking at one another (and naming one another!) and seeing the person behind the role, and looking for the person they knew, and yet also still seeing elements of a stranger.
Because they have changed. Neither of them is at all the child they were when they left Emond’s Field, and there is so much between them now, and that connection they have is worn and thinned and this isn’t a joyful reunion. There’s catharsis here, and a tentative possibility of peace or friendship, but there’s also this recognition, each to each, of how much of what used to be is now gone. They’ve both been hardened and shaped by their experiences and they both know it and recognise it in each other—perhaps in part because they both also very clearly by this point recognise it in themselves.
“Why have you come before the Amyrlin Seat?” she asked.
And now we get the opening of Amyrlin-to-Dragon. But that’s not where we began. We began with Rand and Egwene, and I’ll shut up about it in a minute but this whole play of naming and identity is one of those little things that gets me pretty much every time it turns up in a story.
“I’ve hated you before,” Rand said, turning back to Egwene.
I’M FINE! THIS IS FINE!
Yes I am quoting pretty much every line of dialogue in this scene but LISTEN, IT HURTS ME.
The thing is, this is a statement utterly without malice. It’s not a threat or an insult—not even the childish sort of insult they might have exchanged last time they met. It’s… really, the only word that comes to mind is a confession.
Which plays into one of the features of Rand’s character that stands out so far in the brief moments we’ve seen him in this book: genuine self-knowledge, and self-knowledge that he fully accepts. There is no longer any remnant of denial.
And that allows him to make statements like this and have them come across as, weirdly, almost benevolent. Nothing he has said is said with the intent to deceive, or to wound, or even really to manipulate. It’s just truth—and truth that he himself fully understands and accepts now.
So he’s not fighting against her out of fear of being caught up in Aes Sedai strings, just as he’s not fighting against Lews Therin’s memories out of fear of being caught up in Kinslayer’s fate. Instead of fighting against everything up to and including himself, he’s just… him.
“It occurs to me that I’ve been trying too hard.”
That’s exactly it. He’s been fighting, when in some ways what he needed was to learn how (and where, and when) to surrender. Though even ‘surrender’ connotes a struggle or a conflict, and I think a lot of this realisation is that it’s not about fighting or forcing or struggling; it’s about accepting, and guiding, and leading. And choosing, of course.
“A fear that the acts I accomplished would be yours, and not my own.” He hesitated. “I should have wished for such a convenient set of backs upon which to heap the blame for my crimes.”
Wow. Okay, that’s… a line.
Um.
Damn.
It’s almost ironic, the way he instead tried to heap all the responsibility on himself and take all that blame and pain, and let it damn him and in doing so tried to pretend it freed him to act as he needed, no longer held back by such trivial concerns as humanity and his own conscience or sense of redeemability. But ultimately it came down to the same thing, in a way: an inability to accept what he was doing, and so trying to find a place to put all that pain.
(Or, as Lews Therin once advised, ‘If it hurts too much, make it hurt someone else instead’).
But now he sees that, too, and so instead of trying to escape the pain or treat it as ‘I’m damned either way so may as well burn it all’, he understands his responsibility but in a more… balanced way, I suppose.
The Dragon Reborn had come to the White Tower to engage in idle philosophy
Moridin? That you?
I do sort of wonder, because I’m me, what impact, if any, Rand’s epiphany might (or could; I don’t really expect the story to go there, much as I might wish it to) have on Moridin, given the link they share.
“Rand,” Egwene said, softening her tone.
And now we get the reflection of the names from the opening of this conversation! It’s about the names! It’s about the dialogue tags! It’s about identity and perception and that thread of friendship that still binds them and might in the end be enough to save them from their predecessors’ fate!
“I’m going to have some sisters talk to you to decide if there is anything… wrong with you. Please try to understand.”
I mean you could not have phrased that less tactfully if you tried, Egwene, but it is kind of understandable. We may know full well that there’s less wrong with Rand now than there has been at pretty much any point since the start of the series, but how in the Light would anyone else be able to be sure of that? He’s certainly not acting like the Rand Egwene once knew, or even the Rand she last saw. Nor is he behaving like the Rand from whatever reports she’s received.
And yes, while I think the world waiting and watching for him to go mad hurt far more than it helped, there’s also the fact that that is what everyone and their mother expects—because up until what, a few months ago, that was inevitable.
So then in walks the Dragon Reborn, acting like… well, this, and what else are you going to do? A bit like the cleansing of saidin, as a reader you want all the other characters to just take it on faith, but the rather sad irony of Rand’s position is that his own word is the one no one is entirely sure they can trust. And the only one here who can vouch for him is himself. Elayne or Aviendha or Min might be able to, but none of them is nearby, and also that bond’s been kept pretty quiet.
So anyway. Yeah, I can see where she’s coming from on that.
To his credit, so can Rand.
“Oh, I do understand, Egwene. And I am sorry to deny you, but I have too much to do.”
There’s the woolheaded sheepherder again. He’s smiling here, and I am quite sure this is a bit of the old Rand dropping by to say hello and needle Egwene just a bit, because that’s what they do.
“A friend rides to his death without allies.”
HE NAMED YOU FRIEND. AND NOW YOU REMEMBER HIM. THIS IS FINE I’M FINE EVERYTHING’S FINE.
“This is the part I regret. I did not wish to come into your centre of power, which you have achieved so well, and defy you. But it cannot be helped. You must know what my plans are so that you can prepare.”
To be able to say that without so much as the hit of a threat in it is… quite a power move, I have to say. Because even here, I think he’s still just being absolutely and even benevolently honest. He doesn’t want to undermine her. He doesn’t even really want to challenge her. He understands where she’s coming from – which itself puts us so, so far from where he was just days ago, that he can meet her uncertainty and suspicion and say ‘okay yeah, that’s fair’.
And if he had time, I wonder if he might actually agree to that particular request.
But he doesn’t have time. Which brings us to the other extraordinary part of this statement: willingly offering up communication. Just. Straight up saying ‘you need to know my plans’. Mark this date in your calendars, friends: a Wheel of Time character just offered, unprompted, voluntarily, to share their plans with another character, so that they can prepare.
I am astonished.
“The last time I tried to seal the Bore”
You know, just the other day.
“I believe that saidin and saidar must both be used.”
I think he’s absolutely right there—it’s a part of what I love about Rand and Egwene, childhood friends for all that they’ve grown apart, holding the roles that they do; the idea that this bond between them, strained as it is, could allow them to do what Lews Therin and Latra Posae could not—but I also… he shall hold a blade of light in his hands, and the three shall be one. I just… wonder.
Egwene leaned forward, studying him. There didn’t seem to be madness in his eyes. She knew those eyes. She knew Rand.
YES!
THIS IS EVERYTHING I WANTED! That she sees him. Looks past the Dragon Reborn, past her role as Amyrlin, and for a moment she is just Egwene looking at Rand and it is by nature such a simple thing—stripping away everything but that simple identity—but it’s also the thing that can give them a chance to do it differently this time. This chance of understanding, this one small thing that could tip them towards cooperation and trust rather than letting them turn away from each other or fall apart.
Light, she thought, I’m wrong. I can’t think of him only as the Dragon Reborn. I’m here for a reason. He’s here for a reason. To me, he must be Rand. Because Rand can be trusted, while the Dragon Reborn must be feared.
Maybe it’s very Sanderson to have this stated outright, but I’m not even going to complain, because it’s… perfect. To allow, in the end, trust and friendship and who they are rather than purely what they are come into it as well, even just in some small way, to bridge that gap. It’s what Lews Therin and Latra Posae couldn’t do, but Rand and Egwene have a chance to try again.
I just… have been spinning around on this EXACT CONCEPT for, I don’t know, several books now, and to see it playing out so plainly here is everything I want and I am never going to be okay again in my life.
“Which are you?” she whispered unconsciously.
He heard. “I am both, Egwene. I remember him. Lews Therin. I can see his entire life, every desperate moment. I see it like a dream, but a clear dream. My own dream. It’s part of me.”
It’s a nice touch, that he speaks of it as a dream, to the one who understands dreams so well.
It’s also just a lot, to have gone from ‘so many parts of him, mind splintered in glittering shards, all of them screaming’ to ‘sorrows and his own suicide’ to a clear dream he accepts as a part of himself. The pain and desperation of it are still there, but he’s no longer fighting them, because he no longer sees it as something he’s bound to. It’s just a part of who he is, but it doesn’t have to define what he will be.
I also like this because Egwene was one of the first to notice him speaking to a voice in his mind. And now she gets this, just an honest and accepting response. It seems fitting, somehow.
The words were those of a madman, but they were spoken evenly. She looked at him, and remembered the youth that he had been. The earnest young man. Not solemn like Perrin, but not wild like Mat. Solid, straightforward. The type of man you could trust with anything.
Even the fate of the world.
THAT’S IT THAT’S IT RIGHT THERE. If they did not know each other, this could be an impasse. Not as disastrous as Rand’s meeting with Tuon, perhaps, because he’s a little… uh… less omnicidal at this particular moment, but likely just as unsuccessful. An Amyrlin who could not trust the Dragon, and a Dragon who could not afford to give her the assurances she needed, and so two powers working in parallel but separately, almost in opposition.
But she knows him. And it’s the youth he had been—it is LITERALLY THE MEMORY OF A SHEPHERD NAMED RAND AL’THOR, the echo of one of my favourite quotes—that tips the balance the other way this time.
It’s Rand. The boy he tried for so long to destroy, because to be him hurt too much.
And I also really love how it isn’t about some Grand True Love between them that does it. They were childhood sweethearts, sure, but the love between them is that of friends, of a shared childhood, of something very much like family. And I like that there’s this implicit importance and weight placed on that; that in its way it’s as crucial to this moment as the ‘veins of gold’ were on Dragonmount
This is what Latra Posae and Lews Therin had. And so instead it falls to Egwene and Rand, to learn from their mistakes, and do what they could not. It is what Rand realised on Dragonmount, and what he is playing out now. A chance to try again.
And it’s because he’s Rand that that’s possible. It’s not Lews Therin, or the Dragon Reborn (but it is also both of those, because he is both of those).
“In one month’s time,” Rand said, “I’m going to travel to Shayol Ghul and break the last remaining seals on the Dark One’s prison. I want your help.”
Well. I mean. Okay. Points for honest and straightforward communication, I suppose. I love that he just walks into the Tower and drops this on her like a grenade, though. It amuses me.
Ah, so she thinks the crystal sphere in her dream represents the seals or the prison as well.
“Rand, no”
Rand: Rand yes!
Sorry, couldn’t help myself.
“I’m going to need you, all of you”
Rand openly admitting to needing anyone or anything, and again just as a statement rather than a threat or an angry demand, is another thing that’s new and kind of refreshing.
“I hope to the Light that this time, you will give me your support.”
Rand to Egwene, remembering Lews Therin to Latra Posae. And if everyone is someone reborn, who’s to say she isn’t? (I’m not… really sure whether I’d want that to be true or not, so I suppose it’s nice that it’s not stated one way or the other, at least up to this point. But it could be a fun one to play with). Either way, those very much are the roles they’re echoing, and I swear I’ll shut up about this but I still just love how, so closely following Rand’s realisation on Dragonmount, we get to actually watch that kind of chance-to-try-again play out. A chance to work together, rather than apart.
“And then… well, then we will discuss my terms.”
Ah well, I suppose it was too much to hope for him to communicate the whole plan right now. Baby steps and all that.
Also, you know, narrative choices and the need to keep at least something back.
“Your terms?” Egwene demanded.
“You will see,” he said, turning as if to leave.
So… the way it’s framed puts us into very slightly antagonistic (and much more familiar) territory of lack of communication and demands and terms.
But I wonder what terms he’s referring to, because there is a nonzero probability that he’s talking about Callandor here. In which case, it’s not entirely impossible that the terms he’s referring to are, in effect, those of his own surrender.
I could be wrong. I very probably am. But it’s… an interesting possibility to consider. And it would be kind of fitting, in a way, for that to be the uncommunicated and therefore misunderstood thing here.
Turns out ‘the Amyrlin’s Anger’ is Egwene just shouting at her childhood friend ‘don’t you turn your back on me when I’m talking to you, Rand al’Thor’ and Rand turning back like a boy who tracked mud into the house. I love them, I really do.
“We must talk about this,” she said. “Plan.”
“That is why I came to you. To let you plan.”
He seemed amused.
Oh, he’s absolutely amused. Part of him still is the boy you knew, and this is honestly just classic Rand-and-Egwene, for all that it’s also on an entirely different level. They antagonise one another: it’s what they do. But I don’t think there’s true anger here, on either side. And again, that is what could save them. That ‘anger’ between them is… this, rather than that snapping of tension and dropping of any possibility of a truce and turning immediately to planning their next moves, all thought of alliance or restraint over, between Rand and Tuon.
Anyway. The other thing here is that… it’s easy to be exasperated with Egwene, because just listen to Rand, he’s sane now damn it, and he’s almost certainly right about the seals.
But honestly? In her position? Knowing what she knows—and not knowing all the things she doesn’t know, like the actual state of Rand’s mind—it’s hard to fault her for pushing back on this. He walks in, says he’s fine and that he remembers a dead man’s entire life and also that they need to break the prison of the embodiment of entropy and chaos and evil, okay bye!
Like. As Amyrlin, it’s her job to say ‘okay, right, I’m with you, but also what the fuck’. It would be irresponsible not to.
Of course… I get the impression Rand knows that, too. And is, perhaps, counting on it. He came to her to let her plan, and he doesn’t seem surprised or upset by the fact that she doesn’t just immediately say ‘okay cool when do we start’, and he has a certain respect for the position she holds.
I think it’s entirely possible this is what he wants from her. For her to plan. Because he doesn’t have time to. And because, just as she looks at him and sees someone she can trust with the fate of the world, he looks at her and sees someone he can trust with planning and logistics and getting the Aes Sedai to get themselves where he needs them. A kind of ‘this is what I’m going to do, now do whatever it is you need to do because I don’t need to micromanage and I also don’t have time to, okay see you at Tarmon Gai’don’.
“And so here we come to it,” Rand said.
Yeah, he saw this coming.
“Egwene al’Vere, Watcher of the Seals, Flame of Tar Valon, may I have your permission to withdraw?”
He asked it so politely. She couldn’t tell if he was mocking her or not.
The thing is, I really don’t think he is. It’s like how earlier he said he didn’t want to come into her place of power and undermine her. He’s giving her, I think, an honest gesture with genuine respect. Because now, at peace with himself as he is, it costs him nothing to do so. She is not his enemy, and I do think his respect for her is honest, and I think he still cares about her as a friend, and what does he lose by giving her a small bow and her titles and the opportunity to grant him permission to leave?
And of course Egwene is conflicted, because on the one hand she can’t keep him here like Elaida tried to, but on the other hand…
“I will not let you break the seals,” she said. “That is madness.”
“Then meet me at the place known as the Field of Merrilor, just to the north. We will talk before I go to Shayol Ghul. For now, I do not want to defy you, Egwene. But I must go.’
Ah. And so we have a battleground.
As for the rest… well. It’s not quite accord, but nor is it disaster. It’s not even quite a true impasse. There’s tension now, sure, but it’s a) not even in the same hemisphere as as bad as it would have been if Rand hadn’t had some alone time on a mountain to think, literally, about his life choices and b) not insurmountable.
And c) I still think there’s a very real chance this is all Rand actually needed or wanted out of this. Egwene now knows his plan and his timing and the battleground, and she can take care of the rest.
It’s almost—gasp—as if Rand al’Thor, Dragon Reborn, has truly learned to delegate.
The chamber was still enough for Egwene to hear the faint breeze making the rose window groan it its lead.
The wind, for Rand, against the rose, for the Aes Sedai. (Also, listen, I have not forgotten that Eldrene was the Rose of the Sun).
“Very well,” Egwene said. “But this is not ended, Rand.”
“There are no endings, Egwene.”
IT’S! ABOUT! THE NAMES!
They talk a big game about each other’s titles, and wonder if they’re really the person they each once knew, but they both open and closes with nothing but each other’s names, and it means absolutely everything.
Also, that’s… really not a bad outcome. Honestly, this could have been so much worse. Anger? Try ‘okay um that’s unexpected and I’m still not sure you’re not insane but…sure. Okay’.
Which really is all you need, right? It’s agreement with a bit of hesitation, and at this stage in the game that’s a damn victory.
Again, I can’t help but contrast it with that absolute catastrophe at Falme, and compared to that? This is just friends sticking their tongues out at each other on the way out. Rand knows he can count on Egwene to be there, at least. Will she agree with him when she arrives? Who knows. But that’s a problem for another time. For now, he at least knows she’ll go, and that’s all he can ask. And he can leave the rest of the planning in her hands.
And she knows what he’s planning, and knows he wants her as an ally, and can therefore make said plans.
I don’t think this is ended either, and I’m sure there’s plenty of potential conflict to come, but this was, all things considered, really kind of impressive in its lack of explosions.
(Also, ‘there are no endings’. Now who’s giving Aes Sedai answers, Rand? As well as probably spoilers for the last line of the series. Rude.)
Oh, interesting. So Rand’s ta’veren hyperdrive powers pretty much literally froze all the other Aes Sedai in place. Because this needed to be a meeting between Rand and Egwene. Because of their roles, yes, but also because of that thread of connection they still share. And so it had to be the two of them, because that was the only chance of this working at all.
Egwene frowned. She hadn’t felt it that way. Perhaps because she thought of him as Rand.
I… yeah. Because that’s what he needed: to have this conversation with someone who could see him. Even then, it barely came out to something almost resembling accord. They needed that small weight on the scales, to have that chance. And so she was free, because it was the Dragon Reborn, and not Rand, who was holding the others silent, in a way.
Or at least that’s how I’m reading this because it plays into my entire thing for names and identity and perception, and the importance thereof.
“We need to discuss his words. The Hall of the Tower will reconvene in one hour’s time for discussion.”
Which, really, is exactly what they need to be doing. Now they have the information, and they can figure out… a battle plan, I suppose. Okay. We’re there now. We have a place and a time (this place, this day, which of course is followed by the lesser sadness, yes I remember sequences of chapter titles why are you looking at me like that) and the beginnings of a plan. I’m… it’s been five years and I’m not entirely ready for this.
“And someone follow to make sure he really leaves.”
You’re just afraid he’ll find some way to prank you on his way out, don’t lie.
“Then how? How do we stop him?”
That, Silviana, is not the question you need to be asking. I mean, I get it. I really do. And I’m not sure how they could not think that, at least initially. But… the time for working against each other’s aims, when you are all on the same side, is over.
“We need allies,” Egwene said.
Which, again, I think is precisely the point. That is something it makes absolute sense for Rand to delegate to the Amyrlin Seat, who has the power and the standing to gather allies and play the games of politics, and bring her portion of the Forces of the Light to… the Field of Merrilor, I suppose.
She took a deep breath. “He might be persuaded by people that he trusts.” Or he might be forced to change his mind if confronted by a large enough group united to stop him.
Oh, Egwene, no. You can’t be another Latra Posae.
But perhaps it would be too easy for this to actually just be their only not-quite-conflict. I still think it was more a success than a failure, all told, and I stand by everything I said about the importance of their friendship in letting them see each other, but I think we’re looking at one final testing of that, before the end.
Next (ToM ch 4)
Previous (ToM ch 2)
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Follow the Music
Received this question from @beyondkailani :
I'd be interested in your views on the episode titles, especially those released for season 2. I find some of the implications interesting - Sex and Candy being followed immediately by Como la flor for example. Very different in tone!
Okay the episode song titles thing is really fun. For S01 I was familiar with every song, and yay cause even some of my old favorite bands in there. Nirvana, Everclear, Aerosmith, and Counting Crows? Can’t go wrong. Once the episode with Rosa’s CD happened I realized the episode titles were doing the same thing, but I think for most episodes it’s way more literal than others. Since we’ve made it through S01 already I’m gonna mostly focus on S02.
I made a youtube playlist with lyrics for the sake of review:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLu6cxfqCMO9l7f1jJlLLgCzQELAo7W-BZ
2X1 Stay (I Missed You) (Lisa Loeb)
Okay this song, the lyrics are 100% about Michael and Alex. Lyrics strangely seem like the inevitable moment of real separation between them because Michael is with someone else. It also smacks a little bit of their reluctance to let go of each other for so long. Now the title could be a direct point to both Rosa and Max seeming to be dead at the end of S01. I mean Rosa was dead for 10 years. She can’t just come back to life, so if she’s going to live, she can’t stay in Roswell. Even if Rosa could stay, what about all her drama with Isobel? Problems. I mean she was Noah at the time, but Rosa doesn’t know that, so they can either tell her or have it be a constant problem. There’s also a chance Rosa already knows and she was going to tell her dad, so she doesn’t exactly scream ‘support the alien conspiracy’ to me.
I don't pay attention
To the distance
That you're running or to
Anyone anywhere
I don't understand if you really care
I'm only hearing negative, no no no, bad
So I, I turned the radio on,
I turned the radio up
And this woman was singing my song
Lovers in love and the other's run away
Lover is crying 'cause the other won't stay
And you said that I was naive
And I thought that I was strong
I thought, "hey, I can leave, I can leave"
Oh but now I know that I was wrong
'Cause I missed you
Yeah, I missed you
You said, "you caught me cause you want me
And one day I'll let you go"
You try to give away a keeper
Or keep me 'cause you know you're just so
Scared to lose
2X2 Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space (Spiritualized)
This one is all ‘I can’t help falling in love with you’. That speaks to me of Michael and Maria. Could also be a Liz leans on Kyle thing too, assuming Max is still dead. She does always run back to him, which is super unfair to Kyle. Maybe it’s also something good for Isobel. She deserves a new love after everything with Noah, so I’d rather it go that route than either of the other two.
2X3 Good Mother (Jann Arden)
This episode will probably revolve around Maria’s mother, and since I predicted before that Michael’s hand and Maria’s desperation to find a cure for her mother could go sideways, I suspect some of that will happen here.
2X4 What If God Was One of Us (Joan Osbourne)
As a Malex shipper I admit this is the one that interested me the most since Tyler Blackburn confirmed in this episode Alex gets a new love interest. I can’t see how this would relate to Alex in anyway, so I was disappointed to not get any further insight.
Now the lyrics make me suspect this is when Michael tells Maria he’s an alien. I mean yeah it’s ‘god’ not ‘alien’ but still some similarity there to me.
If God had a face what would it look like?
And would you want to see if, seeing meant
That you would have to believe in things like heaven
And in Jesus and the saints, and all the prophets?
2X5 I'll Stand By You (The Pretenders)
I see so many things in this one.
-Rosa(assuming she’s still alive)/Liz
-Max(if he’s back)/Liz
-Max(if he’s back)/Isobel
-Michael/Max and/or Isobel.
-Kyle always being there for Liz even though he’s sort of a doormat
-Kyle and Alex’s rekindled childhood friendship and Kyle being there for Alex
-Tragedy strikes so Alex and Maria make up and he’s there for her or vice versa (even though I don’t foresee that lasting)
This could touch so many of the relationships on this show. It’s too generic to me, and we won’t know until we get there. Especially since so much will hinge on how they decide to handle Rosa still being alive and Max being dead.
2X6 Sex and Candy (Macy’s Playground)
Now I know the word sex is in the title, but I never interpreted this in a literal way. I always assumed it was about eye sex. His eyes meeting across the room with this fantasy girl and he’s surprised she’s looking back. So maybe something romantic for Isobel or Alex. I assume by this point Maria and Michael will be together so nothing to do with them.
Hangin' round downtown by myself
And I had so much time
To sit and think about myself
And then there she was
I smell sex and candy here
Who's that lounging in my chair
Who's that casting devious stares
In my direction
Mama this surely is a dream
Yeah mama this surely is a dream
2X7 Como La Flor (Selena)
I don’t speak Spanish so I had to check out a translation for this one, but this one breaks my heart. It’s all about losing the one you love and letting them be happy with someone else. I could almost ugly cry at the implications of this song.
I know you have a new love
However I wish you the best
If in me, you didn't find happiness
Maybe someone else will give it to you
If you saw how it hurts to lose your love
With your goodbye, you take my heart
I don't know if I can love again
Because I gave you all the love I could give
2X8 Say It Ain't So (Wheezer)
This song following the last song makes me feel like I am right about the main subject for that episode since it seems to follow the exact same line of thought, but it actually doesn’t. I suspect Jesse Manes will make an appearance here. This song is actually about a boy’s fear of his father’s alcoholism. Then again, if the person who picked it didn’t actually know what the song was really about then yes, it follows the theme of the previous song.
2X9 The Diner
So I wasn’t 100% sure which song this was referencing. My mind immediately went to Tom’s Diner by Suzanne Vega, which I won’t lie, I had stuck in my head for like 6 years because I couldn’t figure out what the song was so I never heard it again. When I finally did it was sweet relief. Now there’s a ‘The Diner’ by Kaskade but it’s really just a remix of her song, so I’m going to assume that’s the song.
Now absolutely nothing in this song draws me back to this show. There is a verse at the very end that seems like it might be significant, but it’s not in the ‘the diner’ version. Then again, it could just be that the episode takes place surrounding the Crashdown, and the song title is literal.
Oh, this rain
It will continue
Through the morning
As I'm listening
To the bells
Of the cathedral
I am thinking
Of your voice
And of the midnight picnic
Once upon a time
Before the rain began
1X10 American Woman (Lenny Kravitz)
This seems way out there, but this song makes me think of an outsider government/military type showing up to investigate and stir the pot.
So beyondkailani had directly commented on the contrast between 2X6 and 2X7. I agree. Different in every way, but I’m not sure it has any meaning beyond trying to find song titles that fit the narrative, but then I think ‘no way’, and I’m sure it must be something more complicated. I’m still digesting how I feel because the songs do bounce all over the place as far as genre.
In S01 I felt like 75% of the song titles it was just the title that related to the episode. I’m sure the lyrics also add to it, but mostly I think they were chosen just for their titles. There are some episodes where it must be the lyrics that had meaning because I can’t see another connection (1X4, 1X10), but for most, it’s just the title.
Per example:
-Don’t Speak is a break up song and I suppose you could attach a secondary meaning of the loss of your faith in someone to this song, but that’s a tough sell for me.
-Smells like Teen Spirit on the teen revisit episode and I assure you the song is not actually about being a teenager…
-I Saw the Sign on the episode where Liz finds a possible motive for why Isobel killed Rosa when this is actually also a break-up song of sorts.
-Champagne Supernova on the Gala episode
-Creep for the prison and Noah revealing the full extent of his actions (yet the song is actually about wanting someone who you think is amazing to love you but thinking in comparison to them you are nothing). Now that I’m reconsidering this one the lyrics may also have value here. Originally I hadn’t considered that the lyrics might represent Noah’s feelings about Rosa. Rosa not being an active character I didn’t consider her as part of the equation the first time.
I added some of these to the playlist at the top as well.
1X1-Pilot
1X2-So Much for the Afterglow
1X3-Tearin' Up My Heart
1X4-Where Have All the Cowboys Gone?
1X5-Don't Speak
1X6-Smells Like Teen Spirit
1X7-I Saw the Sign
1X8-Barely Breathing
1X9-Songs About Texas
1X10-I Don't Want to Miss a Thing
1X11-Champagne Supernova
1X12-Creep
1X13-Recovering the Satellites
Now all of this could be totally moot since most of the songs in S01 are just about the title and I focused on content to make conjectures. This was really fun for me though.
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☽ ` * • EZRA’S RP PLOTTING CHEAT-SHEET !
Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.
Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.
Mun name:
Sugarplum!
OOC Contact:
IM & Discord, though I can be incredibly slow to answer. Feel free to ask for my discord if we’re moots!
WHO IS MY MUSE + MAIN STORYLINE(S):
Ezra is the personification of the soul and by extension the moon. At the beginning of all things, the Creator placed the power of each concept ( Life, Death, and Soul ) into a star or planet. Ezra, the soul, resides within every moon. Life is in every star, and Death takes up residence amid the dark matter and occasionally the furthest planets/moons from the nearest stars ( re: pluto ) A portion of Ezra’s soul/sentience was lured to earth by a malevolent spirit and the cult that that desired to harness the power of life, death and spirit, and trapped within the confines of a human body.
POINTS OF INTEREST:
(What might other characters recognize about your character? Strange behavior, quirks, noticeable features?)
She is mute - Depending on the timeline, whether or not she has a body and who she’s interacting with, she communicates primarily via sign language, written word, and electronic devices. If your muse is a being of higher power, if she trusts you implicitly, or the situation demands it, she will speak to you spiritually. You can read more about this HERE.
As she was never meant to be contained so, the tiny portion of her sentience is destroying the body she was trapped in, resulting in her being spelled asleep for centuries at a time. Her soul is tethered to her body, but her spirit is locked within the spirit realm until she is reeled in for rituals. She can wander through dreams and occasionally possess people and objects for short amounts of time.
Ezra is always wearing long sleeves and very occasionally a pair of gloves. This is, in part, due to the scars across her back, shoulders and arms, and partly to avoid direct skin on skin contact when possible.
Physical touch is agonizing. Her power commands that she leech the mental, physical, and spiritual pain from a person. She was never taught how to turn this off, only how to turn it up. This doesn’t stop her from reaching out to people though
She’s dying. Her body cannot contain the amount of cosmic energy stuffed into it. She can look quite unwell at times, though she does her best to heal herself and avoid activities that make her condition worse. At her worst, she might look nearly corpselike, her lips chapped and skin peeling. She will be incredibly hot to the touch. At her best she is alarmingly ethereal and takes to dying her hair auburn/brown to tone herself down.
She glows when she’s happy, and when she’s using her powers. There’s a particular iridescence that clings to her when she’s “healthy” too that doesn’t quite go away. There’s just something odd about her overall physicality that can garner attention.
If she dies (by someone else’s hand or simply because her body can’t take it anymore) her spirit will be confined to the earth and its spiritual realm until its end.
WHAT IS SHE DOING:
(What plot lines or story arcs is your blog going through? What’s motivating your character right now?)
There are two main timelines in Ezra’s story and one sort’ve sub-timeline. When she is in possession of the cult and when she is “free” from it. The sub-timeline is, as stated above, is where she’s trapped within the spirit realm. She can venture into dreams and wanders the earth as a “ghost” on occasion.
Her cult timeline is flexible and can be adjusted as needed and can be set anywhere from the 13TH century to present time.
Post-cult she is on her own, desperately searching for more information about herself and how she can break the spells that bind her to earth while attempting to avoid those that would drag her back to her keepers.
WHERE YOU CAN FIND HER:
(Which locations does your muse frequent?)
She was “born” on the border of Russia and Norway and was toted across most of Europe and Asia from that point on. At the turn of the century she’s transported to America, mostly along the east coast until she is settled in South Carolina.
Post-cult she could be just about anywhere tbh. There is no Fixed place for her.
CURRENT PLANS:
(Do you have any upcoming arcs in the works? This can be as vague or specific as you feel like).
Not at present, as I’m still trying to get back into the swing of thing uwu.
DESIRED INTERACTIONS:
(What kind of interactions would you like for your character? Do they need more friends? Enemies? Maybe a shoulder to cry on, or someone to teach them how to dance?)
Any and all kinds tbh! I might elaborate on that more eventually but we love all the things here.
OFFERED INTERACTIONS:
(Does your character make clothes? Fix things? Challenge passers-by to battle? Steal people’s lunch money? What scenarios can your character offer that other players might be interested in?)
Both cult and post-cult interactions Ezra is a healer of emotional and spiritual wounds (and occasionally physical wounds if she is “charged up” enough) This is done with simple, physical contact. During her time in the cult she is visited by those who 1) have enough money/power/influence to pay to be healed and 2) those who are chosen to be made an example, to show off her powers. Post-cult if she notices someone is going through it she might reach out and try to help them, though it can be super rare because she doesn’t want to freak anyone out.
In her search for information, there are a plethora of occupations she can possess that rage from a librarian, an art conservator, a motivational speaker, a barmaid, and a waitress.
CURRENT OPEN POST(S):
None yet but they will be added here when they exist~
ANYTHING ELSE?:
Be excellent and party on. Also feel free to ask for any information / Ezra’s stats/bio if you have any questions.
TAGGING: Whoever sees this and wants to do it tbh! I tag you.
#out.#I FEEL LIKE I'M MISSING SO MUCH AKEJNFD#i'm in a brain fog tho#this will be something i add to my pages tho and update as needed#pls feel free to nab this tho and say i tagged u#NOW I WORK ON STARTERS~#UPDATE: wow i rly forgot to add the title didn't i hhhhhh
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All the evens for all your girls!
Rest of the questions here. I’m putting an (***) asterisk next to the questions that I’ve answered with my College/Modern AUs in mind.
2: Where does your OC work?***
Jhera Mahariel: Odd jobs here and there; she really enjoys working with the Theatre Department whenever possible.
Evaine Hawke: Animal shelter. She gets to pet the cats and walk the dogs. It is heaven.
Ladwyn Lavellan: In college, she works in the library. In the separate Inquisition Modern AU she’s an adjunct art history professor (haven’t thought about careers for Jhera and Evaine yet).
4: Does your OC prefer paper or plastic?***
Jhera Mahariel: Cash. Credit seems like too much of a hassle. Not many banks out by the rez.
Evaine Hawke: No preference between cash and debit, but it’s rare for her to use a credit card in a non-emergency situation.
Ladwyn Lavellan: Ladwyn prefers to have a credit card just because it’s easier to impulse buy things at three am that way. She needs to have those throw pillows and desk organizers STAT.6: Does your OC have any supernatural powers?
Jhera Mahariel: She is supernaturally good at hitting things.
Evaine Hawke: Mage
Ladwyn Lavellan: Also mage
8: What are some of your OCs strengths?
(doing three for each)
Jhera Mahariel: Tenacity, impressive physical strength (esp. for her size), great leadership skills
Evaine Hawke: Loyal, thoughtful, makes friends easily
Ladwyn Lavellan: Ambitious, adventurous, practical10: What is your OC’s favorite outfit?
Jhera Mahariel: She has a traditional Dalish dress of her mother’s that she only wears on very special occassions. Zevran also gave her a dress from Antiva City that she absolutely adores.
Evaine Hawke: Evaine is most comfortable in soft tee-shirts, dark-washed jeans, and combat boots.
Ladwyn Lavellan: Ladwyn lives that “long tunic and leggings” life, along with an assortment of earth-tone blouses, flowy skirts, and cardigans that Dorian affectionately calls “hippie librarian chic”.
12: Is your OC sexually active?
Jhera Mahariel: She and Zevran are the Morticia and Gomez of Thedas so... very much so.
Evaine Hawke: Yep
Ladwyn Lavellan: *looks at Haleni* She would be lying if she said no.14: Does your OC have a cell phone? If so, what kind?***
Jhera Mahariel: A seemingly indestructible flip-phone
Evaine Hawke: A Nokia Windows phone. She has... bad luck with phones. She needed a sturdier one.
Ladwyn Lavellan: A smartphone that’s two or three generations behind the current model. She wants one small enough to fit in her pocket, thanks.16: When is your OCs favorite time of year?
Jhera Mahariel: Summer
Evaine Hawke: The height of fall into the first half of winter
Ladwyn Lavellan: Spring, before it gets too hot
18: What kind of underwear does your OC wear?***
Jhera Mahariel: Most likely of the three to splurge on fancy lingerie
Evaine Hawke: Whatever’s clean; is weak for the novelty underwear with sarcastic/punny phrases on them
Ladwyn Lavellan: Boyshort addict
20: What’s your OCs favorite kind of pizza?***
Jhera Mahariel: Sicilian
Evaine Hawke: Buffalo chicken
Ladwyn Lavellan: Sausage and peppers
22: Has your OC ever killed someone?
They all have, but I’ll point out specific character-defining instances.
Jhera Mahariel: Killed scores of darkspawn, mercenaries, etc, but her duel with Loghain sticks with her.
Evaine Hawke: Killed Quentin, the Arishok, and Grace. She is only remotely okay with the last one, though she knows all were necessary.
Ladwyn Lavellan: Killed thirteen “rabbit-catchers” along the Minanter River before her seventeenth nameday. She earned her vallaslin from that, but was severely altered by the experience.
24: What does your OC smell like?***
(going for preferred perfume courtesy of Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab)
Jhera Mahariel: Rogue
Evaine Hawke: Spiced Apple Cider
Ladwyn Lavellan: Ogygia
26: Is your OC a human or an animal? (or something else idk)
Jhera Mahariel: Elf
Evaine Hawke: Human
Ladwyn Lavellan: Elf
28: Does your OC like anime?***
Jhera Mahariel: Hasn’t seen any yet
Evaine Hawke: Yes, Slayers is her favorite
Ladwyn Lavellan: She’s enjoyed what she’s seen, but is more familiar with Miyazaki movies
30: What does your OC choose to do about the, er, hair down there?
A resounding shrug for all three.
32: Did your OC go to college? What did they major in?***
Jhera Mahariel: Literature
Evaine Hawke: Liberal Arts
Ladwyn Lavellan: Art History
34: Is your OC religious?
Jhera Mahariel: prays regularly, but is uncomfortable practicing her faith outside her clan
Evaine Hawke: Would be considered a witch, but does not consider herself Andrastean
Ladwyn Lavellan: She is that person who says she’s, “spiritual, not religious”. Sometimes she finds comfort in the rituals of her traditional worship, but mostly she’s concerned with being a good person.
36: What turns your OC on?
Jhera Mahariel: Really good massages, has a thing for hands
Evaine Hawke: Sarcastic banter and bad jokes
Ladwyn Lavellan: Competence kink
38: Does your OC have any pets?
Jhera Mahariel: One mabari
Evaine Hawke: One mabari (for now)
Ladwyn Lavellan: Shared custody of Cullen’s obscenely large mabari
40: What is the craziest thing your OC has done?
Jhera Mahariel: Fighting the archdemon
Evaine Hawke: Buy the Bone Pit
Ladwyn Lavellan: Open a rift directly into the Fade
42: Does your OC drink coffee or tea?
Jhera Mahariel: Coffee
Evaine Hawke: Tea
Ladwyn Lavellan: Herbal tea
44: What color eyes does your OC have?
Jhera Mahariel: Dark brown
Evaine Hawke: Blue
Ladwyn Lavellan: Grey
46: Is your OC loyal?
A resounding YES for all three.
48: What social class is your OC from?
Jhera Mahariel: Second-class as far as shems are concerned. In Dalish social hierarchy she’s a few rungs up because of her mage ancestry and the fact that one of her parents was a Keeper.
Evaine Hawke: Upper class on her mother’s side, veeeery distant nobility on her father’s side as a descendant of Parthalan, but is a mage so all of that is moot. Second-class on technicality, but being Champion balances it out.
Ladwyn Lavellan: As a mage and First she is treated with the utmost respect; her advice is sought and her orders are rarely questioned.
50: Does your OC cry easily?
Jhera Mahariel: No, she cries very rarely
Evaine Hawke: Not in the moment; it hits her after the fact
Ladwyn Lavellan: She can hold it in until she’s alone
52: How does your OC feel about insects?
Jhera Mahariel: Ambivalent
Evaine Hawke: Insects, meh. Arachnids, NOPE.
Ladwyn Lavellan: NOOOOOOOPE.
54: Does your OC smoke?***
Jhera Mahariel: She likes Antivan cigars
Evaine Hawke: Weed yes, cigarettes no
Ladwyn Lavellan: Used to be a stress smoker, but hasn’t in years.
56: What kind of clothes does your OC wear?
Pretty much covered by #10.
58: Is your OC introverted or extroverted?
Jhera Mahariel: Extroverted
Evaine Hawke: Extroverted introvert
Ladwyn Lavellan: Introvert
60: Does your OC enjoy nature?
Jhera Mahariel: Yes, the forests are her favorite
Evaine Hawke: As long as it’s not too... nature-y. Campgrounds are okay, open wilderness is too disquieting.
Ladwyn Lavellan: Yes, loves rocky shores and mountains. Haaaaates deserts. Deserts can fuck right off.
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I made a Raz 2.0 because apparently I like to suffer and because I’m working on a project that requires me to know some specific lines of dialogue from the IA class story. There are tons of playthrough videos available online, and of those, several feature a female Chiss Agent, and there is one I found who made mostly similar choices to how I played Raz, but there have been enough differences that there are some big pieces I’m missing.
Also, I didn’t get enough screengrabs of Raz the first time around because I was too busy Suffering. So this time, I’ll hopefully actually get some documentation of her.
So far I’ve only played her up to the point on Hutta where Keeper tells her to kill Karrels Javis, and I already have Regrets. Knowing everything that’s coming does not make this any easier. But, I have better insight into who Raz is this time.
I’ll be trying to just take my time with my second IA run, and just do bits here and there, with a focus on finishing the other class stories, and getting any of the others I might want through some expansions. For instance: Zuvi needs to do the Smuggler Shitshow Comedy Hour, Mena has to get all the way through Iokath for Reasons, and Raz 1.0 is currently sitting on Ilum, because I’m going to run her through SoR eventually, but I don’t know if I want to do Ilum, Makeb, and Oricon first (it was worth it for Sija to do them, but I don’t know if I care for anyone else).
I also know that Raz and I are going to Suffer in SoR, and that best case scenario, Rishi will rip Raz’s heart out, but unless I did something Very Wrong, I’ve at least ensured that if I run Raz all the way through kotfe/kotet/Iokath/the Traitor arc, the Bad Thing won’t happen.
But all the expac talk is moot right now until they fix the level fuckery since apparently there’s some hot mess that happens with the downlevel to 70 in the pre-Onslaught expacs, so I’m not considering it safe to run anyone through any old expacs at the moment. Just class stories for now. One day I’ll have done them all, maybe? Or maybe I’ll just keep building characters that I don’t finish; who knows?
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What the actual fuck is thistle wart, though?
The potion Sahara was trying to brew was not going well. "Where the hell am I supposed to get vanishing powder made of thistle wart and frog nail? Are those even real things?"
Mindy put down her book and stood up from the armchair in the waiting area. She walked over to the counter and looked Sahara in the eye. "Get your keys. I know a guy."
Forty eight minutes and a descent through a creepy staircase later, Sahara found herself in the most jam-packed all-purpose witch shop she had ever been in. Or seen. There was more stuff in here than Sahara thought was possible. Or rather, there was so much stuff in the room and Sahara thought it should spontaneously combust from simple friction. But it didn't. And there was space to walk. The shelves went straight up to the ceiling and were covered on the sides with hanging accouterments of all kinds from stuffed dead animals to dream catchers to just actual stuffed animals. There was a sign hanging from the ceiling with an arrow pointing deeper into the store that read "books." The counter to the left of the entrance had a variety of bottled liquids, but the center piece was a giant bottle labeled "Juan Santos' Pure Tequila 100 Proof." There was a living rattle snake swimming around inside.
A little bell rang as they crossed the threshold and an oily man who looked to be in his mid-thirties came around a corner, looking in a bag. "Hello and welcome to The Shack of Sundry--oh, hello Mindy. Who's your friend?"
"Hey Vince. This is Sahara. She needs vanishing powder or something." Mindy turned to look at Sahara, putting her hand on her shoulder. Her hand was warm. Sahara liked it when Mindy showed affection through physical contact. It didn't happen often, but it was important. "I'll be back looking at the lore books. Let me know when you're done, kay?"
Sahara nodded and smiled. Mindy walked off. The store keeper, Vince, watched her go. Then turned back to Sahara. "I don't recall her bringing a friend here since. Well. Ever. You must be very special. How do you know our young mistress?" Vince tossed the bag he was holding to the counter, where it slid and fell off the other side. It made a distinctly louder thunk when it hit the floor than when it hit the counter.
Sahara, not one to be intimidated, looked Vince in his eyes bloodshot eyes. He was very pale. "We just started dating a couple weeks ago."
Vince's mouth dropped open. "Oh fuck." He turned to look the way Mindy had wandered off. "Really? Hot damn."
"Never met a lesbian before?"
Vince snapped his attention back to Sahara. "Well, yes, but Mindy's bisexual, so that's a moot point. Unless you meant yourself?" He slapped himself in the forehead. "Ah! Idiot. I'm being incredibly rude. Apologies." He held out his hand to Sahara. "I am Vincent VinVidcti Villatora. Vince to my friends; and any friend of Mindy's is a friend of mine, so you may call me Vince."
Sahara cautiously took his hand. She couldn't get a read on this guy. "Nice to meet you, Vince. I'm Sahara Stalton. If you don't mind my asking, how do you know Mindy?"
Vince looked hurt. "She didn't tell you?" He scratched the back of his head and looked back where Mindy went again. "Well if she brought you here, and you're dating her, she must be okay with you knowing. Probably expects me to tell you some it it for her. Easily for her that way." He nodded to himself.
"If it's private, that's fine, I was just sort of hoping you weren't an ex." said Sahara.
Vince let out a hearty bellows laugh. "Oh that's rich. No. I've know young miss Mindy for more than a decade, but she's a bit young for my taste. No, no. We met at group."
"Group?" asked Sahara.
"Thursday nights?" Vince raised an eyebrow then grimaced when Sahara shrugged. "Ah. She hasn't told you about that yet, either. Well." He paused. "Well you see that bottle there?" He pointed at Juan Santos' bottle. "I keep that there to remind myself that I can always have a drink whenever I want, but it will kill me."
"You're an alcoholic?"
"Yes."
"So, you met at ‘group’?"
"Yes."
"Mindy's an alcoholic?" Sahara's eyes went wide. "But we had a glass of wine last night. Did I--" Vince took a couple steps closer, waving his arms in a calming gesture.
"No no no no no no. Not alcohol. She... well it's definitely her job to tell you specifics. But let's just say that I didn't let her wander around my store without supervision until three years ago."
"What happened three years ago?"
"Ten years sober is an important milestone." said Vince.
"Oh. So..." Sahara looked around the store as her mind worked through the clues Vince had given her. Then she looked back to where Mindy had gone. "Oh."
"Indeed. So, anyway, what was it that you needed? Not that I mind my favorite customer coming to show off her new significant other, but Mindy did mention you needed vanishing powder?"
"Ah, right." Sahara shook her head and got the list of ingredients out of her pocket. "I don't know what half of this crap is, but the vanishing powder is puzzling. I’m mostly used to making stuff like super coffee and treatments for erectile dysfunction."
"Well I have eighty three types of vanishing powder. Please, follow me." Vince headed off down one of the rows. "What do you need it for?" he asked.
"I was hired to make a potion to paint a house without labor."
"Oh my, how extravagant..."
---
On the way back, Mindy was quiet. Sahara broke the silence.
"So... how long have you known Vince?"
"About twelve years." Mindy stared out the passenger window. "Did he tell you?"
"He told me you met in AA, or whatever the equivalent of that is that you attend. That's where you go on Thursday nights?"
"Mhmm." said Mindy. It was nice of her to vocalize instead of just nod. Sahara didn't like to take her eyes off the road.
"I'm here to listen whenever you want to talk about it, Mindz." said Sahara.
Mindy was quiet for a while. She played with the flower air freshener on the passenger vent. "Not right now."
"Okay." said Sahara. "Whenever you're ready." Sahara lifted her right hand from the steering wheel for a brief moment, before putting it back. She wanted to reach over to Mindy and hold her hand, but she knew Mindy got uncomfortable if she didn't have both hands on the wheel.
Mindy shifted sitting positions and leaned on the armrest instead of the door. She grabbed Sahara's sleeve.
Sahara smiled. She might not know everything about this girl now, but she was learning. And every second between facts was worth it.
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