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wine-dark-seashells · 7 months

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Over-analysing the books we saw referenced in Season Two (which I watched all in a go last night from 11pm to 4am and therefore am a little hazy on). If someone has already done this I bow to thee I just couldn't find you.

It's not reflected in my blog but one of my main special interests is Good Omens (and has been since I first read the book, a bit before season one was released) y'all I am ugly crying over the season two finale. If I've missed any books I'll just edit I guess I don't have access to the show anymore so I can't double-check anything. I KNOW Muriel was reading a book that wasn't The Crow Road but I cannot for the life of me remember what it was.

The Colour of Magic - Terry Pratchett (under I for In): On a surface level, it's a fantastic little nod to Mr Pratchett, the book that started the Discworld, and, to top it off, one of the best covers in existence. Funnily enough the same edition we always stocked when I worked in a bookshop but that's not important.

On a deeper level, think about the plot in bare-bones terms. Incredibly naïve tourist from an other-worldly place shows up in a grimy but incredibly magical city with a very odd box and spends his entire holiday with a wizard who is bad at magic. It ends with the tourist floating off into space to go see other worlds. Sounds familiar, right? I'm shaking this season like a small child with a maraca and I am chewing the plot until it is tasteless.

The Crow Road - Iain Banks (under I for It): Look, this one is so obviously significant that multiple people have done it already but I'm adding layers. Crowley gives it to Muriel in the last episode, I'm sobbing, but it's actually first referenced by Gabriel when he's "sorting". The tile is a fairly common metaphor for death, such as he's away the crow road. Other than the fact that it's literally part of Crowley's name, crows are a death omen. He gives it to Muriel for so many reasons and I don't know how it was intended originally but they're curious about humanity and The Crow Road contains one of the most fundamental parts of being human - asking too many questions.

Also, The Crow Road contains a lot of themes centred around death, mystery, and quite a bit of questioning of religion. It could be interpreted as a tell towards Crowley's real feelings about the finale. Metatron is death for him, as a demon, and he's just taken Aziraphale away to "chat". Remind me to actually write down my interpretation of the finale some time.

Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen (under I for It): See, this one has actual plot relevance and therefore is explained in the show so I don't really think it needs an explanation. However, it is a neat little plot device to show how Aziraphale and Crowley have had very very different experiences with, and therefore perspectives on, Jane Austen herself. I think that's a pretty good way to show how they think and differ from each other in their shared experiences. Also, spitballing here, Crowley is Pride and Aziraphale is Prejudice. ("Of course you turned down Hell, they're the bad guys. Heaven is... good!")

A Tale of Two Cities, Book One - Charles Dickens (under I for It): Come on. This wouldn't need an explanation except, once again, chewing here.

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." is the only bit Gabriel reads out loud, but the rest is along those lines (give it a read, it's fun). All one sentence. I don't really think it needs a huge amount of explanation, except that to me Dr Manette is Gabriel. Quite a bit of the first book is about his release from jail (and, to top it off, he was there because he reported the abuse perpetrated by members of the aristocracy and was put away under a lettre de cachet, something signed by the King and at least one of the King's ministers which could not be appealed). He's briefly taken in by a former servant (who goes on to be instrumental in the Storming of the Bastille) and the man's wife, who own a wine shop together. I am going insane.

No, I did NOT forget Good Omens (under I for It): History repeats itself over and over and over -

I need to go drink some water but Mr Gaiman sir how'd I do.

#i hold no illusions mr gaiman himself will see this lol don't worry #i am rambling i am raving and also a secret third thing #which is ranting #good omens #good omens season two #neil gaiman #good omens season two spoilers #big spoilers #book analysis #crowley #aziraphale #gabriel #muriel #ineffable idiots #i mean #ineffable husbands

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mars-ipan · 4 months

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look i love my asexual headcanons to death and what i’m about to say in no way discounts said asexual headcanons. with that disclosed i do not think aziraphale is a “virgin” (<- virginity isn’t real but you get my point) take one look at that angel and tell me he didn’t go to bacchanals i mean come the fuck on

#marzi speaks #i have no opinion nor do i care about whether people think crowley fucks. i think it’s funny if he doesn’t but i could see it either way #but aziraphale? while i don’t think it’s his favorite thing in the world you cannot tell me he never dabbled #bacchanals (and dionysian raves before that) seem right up his alley #plus there’s the fucking. ‘discreet gentlemen’s club’ (THE FUCKING HUNDRED GUINEAS CLUB??? SIR.)#and this guy lives in soho!!!! i mean truly #i don’t think he really seeks sex out or anything #i mean there’s those diary entries where he turns down the woman who essentially flashes him (and i believe a man later?)#so like he’s clearly not someone who really wants sex that much #but there’s no way in hell he never tried it at least once. he’s wayyyy too curious for that #i have a feeling he really stopped ‘trying it out’ after 1941 though. i feel like after he realizes just how deeply he feels for crowley #he’d like. feel Extra Weird about having sex with anyone else #especially bc he isn’t attracted to humans (perhaps beyond like aesthetic attraction)#but he’s definitely dabbled #crowley? could go either way. on one hand: demon. temptations. et cetera #on the other: he’s far less cool than he acts and while having sex isn’t necessarily cool it feels like smth he’d lie about to seem cooler #plus i doubt he’d ever really have any proper interest in humans. probably even less so than aziraphale #see this still coincides with the asexual headcanons. it’s chill 👍

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womenofwrestlingfashion · 8 months

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Smackdown 9/15/23

Dakota wore the In The Morning Bustier in Noir Floral from White Fox Boutique ($49.99) and the Distressed Detachable Two-Way Pantskirt from Punk Rave ($162)

#Dakota Kai #Cheree Crowley #In The Morning Bustier #bustier #bustiers #noir floral #White Fox Boutique #Distressed Detachable Two-Way Pantskirt #pantskirt #pant skirts #punk rave #women of wrestling fashion #wwe #Smackdown

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cryptotheism · 1 month

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would aleister crowley like hyperpop

100%. If you teleported Crowley to a furry rave he would immediately know what to do.

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canyourfavesurvivecastledracula · 2 months

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aziraphale from good omens :)

Bahahahaha! Oh my.

Okay, for the sake of sportsmanship, let's be as fair as we can and give Dracula every fighting chance.

The first big question is holiness - Aziraphale is undoubtedly very very holy. But he's an angel of God, not literally God, and that makes a difference. If we take the demons of Good Omens as a test case, we can see that they share some traditional weaknesses with vampires, the most prominent one being Holy Water - (although NB Dracula never interacts with Holy Water in novel, just as none of the demons in Good Omens, book or series, never interact with the Host). It seems reasonable to presume that Crowley for instance would have a bad time with a crucifix. So we can perhaps say that the two are repulsed by the divine in much the same way. But. No one would ever suggest that Crowley cannot physically touch Aziraphale. Right? Apart from it being demonstrably untrue, whole pillars of fandom would collapse. It's a non-starter. So Aziraphale is not prima facie the kind of divine that is repulsive to the demoniac... except perhaps aesthetically.

The next thing to get out of way is that Aziraphale is not strictly speaking the kind of thing that can die. But he can be discorporated, and the waiting list on bodies is such a bother, so I am going to say that if his physical body gets destroyed by any means that counts as not surviving Castle Dracula, though I love the idea of him possessing people later in the novel (I'm thinking either Renfield or Van Helsing, because Renfield is basically a medium already and like real weird about angels, and Van Helsing has that one scene where Jonathan is like .... so I'm like 90% sure he was possessed and speaking with literal divine authority just then. Weird.) The question then becomes what it takes it discorporate an angel and whether Dracula in fact possesses those means. The one thing that actually accomplishes it in universe is that summoning circle, which is a pretty extreme example. BUT if we include actual biblical canon in our angelology, then, while while that doesn't bring us any closer to what, if anything, can kill an angel, we do at least have examples of angels being beaten in fistfights. So, for the purposes of this exercise, Aziraphale can in principle be killed, and he can also in principle be beaten in a fistfight.

It might make some difference if we are talking about the Book or the Series. Book!Aziraphale is a little bit more of a bastard, a little less naive, a little less distractactable, and (as is Crowley) a whole lot more terrifyingly competent than his televised counterpart.

...okay enough of this. Aziraphale outclasses Dracula so hard it's not even funny. Angels and Demons are set up to be evenly matched because they are fundamentally the same type of thing and that's the whole point - but Dracula isn't that type of Demon. He's a human person who's mildly demoniac because he majored in it in college. It's very impressive to other humans, sure, but like, the ravings of his solicitor aside, he's really not on the level of actual Demons of the Pit. And the things that humans are better at - creativity, growth, love - he's traded for vampirism. He's got the disadvantages of both without really the advantages of either.

Aziraphale's fatal flaw, if you want to call it that, is that he really likes humans. He would be delighted by Dracula's cooking and by his library. He would never stand for the baby eating. He would he more insufferable about the paprika than our baby lawyer. But he's also had 6000 years of learning to be unassuming and letting people underestimate him, and perfecting the Reverse Customer Service voice. He would do that Disapproving Bookseller thing and make Dracula uncomfortable in his own home. He's not the kind of thing that can be hypnotized. He's not going to waste time looking for the key, the doors will just open for him when he tells them to. And if all else fails he has wings, he can literally just leave whenever.

So um, yes. Aziraphale can survive Castle Dracula. And he will probably mess with Dracula non-trivially while he's there.

#aziraphale #good omens #divine entities

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nightgoodomens · 3 months

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Satan: Ciao

God: *sigh*

Satan: What are you *sigh* for? You called me!

God: You’re still in Italy?

Satan: Of course I am!

God: Is my son planning to come back any time soon?

Satan: JESUS?! YOU PLANNING TO GO BACK TO YOUR MAMA ANYTIME SOON?!

God: Good Lord, put the phone away when you scream!

Satan: He says quote - no - unquote.

God: Can you send Crowley away somewhere so Jesus gets bored and comes back?

Satan: No, I don’t manipulate my friends like you do.

God: Wow.

Satan: They’re having tiramisu. Nobody leaves when tiramisu is on the table.

God: You’re still with that poor Grandma?

Satan: Poor Grandma? We went to a rave yesterday, even Crowley checked out before her.

God: Ask Jesus what will make him come back.

Satan: JESUS YOUR MAMA ASKS WHAT YOU WANT.

God: SATAN!

Satan: He says *clears throat* quote - Equal rights, flexible hours, Christmas bonuses, pay rise every year, and public apology to his best friend Crowley - unquote.

God: Did he ask Crowley to write this for him?

Satan: That is, perhaps, possible.

God: Tell him I said no.

Satan: He says quote - Am I bothered? - unquote.

God: Tell him I will kick his ass!

Satan: Oooo, feisty. Call ya later, I need to get some tiramisu before they eat it all. Ciao!

God: Satan!!!

#god and Satan #Satan and god #Satan and God by NightGoodOmens #good omens #crowley #ineffable fandom #good ineffable omens #ineffable husbands #ineffable boyfriends #ineffable dumbasses #ineffable idiots #ineffable lovers #aziraphale #aziracrow

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lovelybrooke · 4 months

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Platonic Yandere Aziraphale and Crowley x reader (Good omens)

This is in a universe where Aziraphale and Crowley are together and happy and nothing bad happens ever.

reader in this is high school age, just for reference.

Masterlist

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You were a bored high school, desperate in need for a job, simply to pass the time. Luckily for you, there was a position for a job at a not so little bookshop. Mr. Fell was looking for a part time worker, which you happily accepted due to your more quiet nature.

Aziraphale wasn't too excited about needing an employee. He really didn't see the point, since he didn't plan on selling any of his books. Crowley often claimed that it didn't make sense to have such a big store with no employees, which he reluctantly agreed with. Even though he wasn't excited, when you walked in, resume in hand, he just couldn't say no. You were a student, so you wouldn't be around the shop so much. You seemed reliable, so there was nothing he needed to worry about.

You enjoyed your job very much. It was quiet, mostly, except for when Mr. Fell's friend came into the shop, which was often. It didn't take a genius to tell that they were together, but you didn't pry. You didn't want to say anything out of turn in case of loosing your job. Speaking of Crowley, he was weary of you at first. He's usually like that around humans, untrusting and sneaky. He likes to tease and poke fun at you whenever you're working. You try your hardest to ignore his playful jabs, laughing along with him so that you don't take it to heart. However, he spends more time with you, he starts to trust you more and see you for what you are, a tired high school student.

Even though Mr. Fell can be a little...strange at times, he's a great boss. Since people don't come in often, he lets you work on your school work at the shop. He even offers to make you tea whenever you're stressed out from school. He's surprisingly landed back, except for when it comes to his books, which he prefer you treat with the up most care. He sometimes lets you read one or two, but it's not a common thing.

While your feelings for Mr. Fell are mostly neutral, Aziraphale simply adores you. He'll admit it, he was weary of you at first, but after getting to know you more, he begins to crave your presence. He shows his care for you in simple ways, like saving books he thinks you enjoy, making tea for the beginning of your shift, even offering to help you on school work when the day is slow. He truly does like taking care of you, even though you might find it unprofessional. By now, he considers you more of a friend than an employee, so theres no harm in making sure you're in peak condition at all times.

Crowley, on the other hand, doesn't become as quickly enamored with you as the angle. He spends most of his time making fun of and teasing you, so when his dear angle starts to rant and rave about his favorite worker, he doesn't really see what's so great about you. You're just some random human who to quiet and kinda awkward. But, Angel likes you, so he'll tolerate you. That's really how your relationship is for a while, you both tolerate each other. Him for Angel's sake and you for the sake of your job. It's fine, for the most part, except when Crowley gets jealous, since when he's jealous he's mean.

While it does take a while, Crowley does eventually start to enjoy his time with you, even if it's limited to whenever you're working and not being taken up by Aziraphale. He's no angel, but he tries, and it's...nice. he offers to drive you home, instead of you taking the bus or walking. He claims it's because Mr. Fells worries about you walking home by yourself, which isn't a complete lie, but it's not just him. He'll gift you plants that's he's grown himself, and even teach you a thing or two about raising them if you're no green thumb. For a while, Crowley thought he was only doing all this for Angels sake, but as he starts to spend more time thinking about you, wanting to make sure you're okay, he can't really make that excuse any more.

They both have a silent understanding when it comes to protecting you. Even though you are your own person, and they've acclimated to human life pretty well, they still do see you as a human. Your life will be short and most likely uneventful. Whiles its sad, they don't want anything to stop you from living. They work very hard to make sure that nothing hurts you, physically or otherwise. Aziraphale is very in tune with your mental state, making sure he never overworks you and that you're always as happy as possible. Crowley makes sure no one is bothering you, whether that's people at school or in any other part of your life.

I don't see them getting jealous often except for your parents. It's really easy for them to sometimes forget you have family and friends outside of them. Like, when you see them when you're out with a group of friends from school. It's like they gain awareness and suddenly realize that they have "competition." It bothers Crowley more than Aziraphale really, but they both are too embarrassed to admit it. For Crowley, he views your parents as competitors in the sense that you like them better than him. He knows it's his fault for spending so much of his time hating you, but he doesn't care. For Aziraphale, I think it's because he desires a family. When he's with you and Crowley, he has a bit of that family he craves, but then he's reminded it's not real.

It's fair to say that you don't notice their feeling for you. They're subtle for the most part, unless they're talking about you just between them. For the most part, you think the relationship you have with them is purely professional, and that once you leave the shop, they don't really think about you. However, you couldn't be more mistaken. They do deeply care for you, you're just to stresses out to see it.

I imagine them having mixed feelings about using their powers for you. They both don't want to do so unless absolutely needed, but in their minds that any occasion where things aren't going exactly their way. They don't want to damage the good relationship they have with you by revealing something you would barely understand to you. They do try their best to keep that part of themself from you, just for your safely.

While it's hard for them, Crowley and Aziraphale both crave simplicity. They've both been alive for a long, long time, and now they just want to spend that time together and now...with you. They know it's wrong, to desire this when you already have a family and a life outside of them, but in their minds, they've worked hard and long for the life they have now, and now you're a part of that life, whether you like it or not.

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A/n: I don't really know what to think about this but I hope you enjoy.

#yandere x reader #soft yandere #platonic yandere #yandere good omens #good omens x reader #good omens #platonic good omens #platonic yandere good omens

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denaliwrites · 6 months

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Dance on a Tightrope of Weird

Crowley x GN!Reader

Summary: Crowley was not expecting you to lose your shit when he asked what you were reading.

Soundtrack: Crazy = Genius by Panic! at the Disco

Requests: Open!

Warnings: The ravings of a madwoman. (It's me, I'm the madwoman.)

It wasn't unusual for Crowley to find you tucked away somewhere in the bookshop reading one of the countless old books Aziraphale kept around. You liked classic literature, and history, and philosophy, and who knew whatever other subjects you happened to find lying around the place.

What was unusual, however, was finding you sat in his usual armchair, reading what was decidedly not a two-hundred-year-old first-edition copy of the random novel you'd decided to bury yourself in that day.

He paused in front of you, carefully tilting the book you held up so that he could look at the cover.

"Dead Mountain?" he asked, an eyebrow cocked so high you could see it over the rim of his sunglasses.

"No, no," you said, a fire immediately lighting in your eyes. "No. Don't even get me started. This is fucking insane."

Crowley never was one to listen to your advice. "Oh?" he prompted casually, and suddenly a chair appeared behind him that he, without looking, flopped down into and sprawled across.

"No, because--"

He loved watching you read. The quiet intent, the way your face moved in tandem with whatever emotions the text wanted you to feel. He'd once walked in on you sobbing along with some tearjerking novel (as a side note, that was the first time Crowley had found himself wanting to kill a book?), and another time he'd walked in on you cheering over something... triumphant, he assumed, or at least something like that.

This was different. New.

He loved it too. The fevered look in your eyes, the frustrated set of your jaw. The way your hand, shaped like a predator's claws, gripped his knee tightly in excitement.

"This is--" you were saying, and Crowley startled back into the moment, eyes on you, attention now unwaveringly on your blazing gaze. "This is so fucking insane. I can't get over this."

"Over what, darling?" he asked, and your gaze sharpened on him, as if only just realizing he was there.

"Do you know about the Dyatlov Pass Incident?"

It sounded familiar. "Tell me all about it, darling."

"Oh, you're gonna regret that."

He wouldn't. Not ever.

"Okay, so -- Soviet Russia. 1959. Middle of winter. These nine hikers -- actually, it was originally ten. These ten experienced hikers go into the Ural Mountains to, like. Upgrade themselves? 'Cause I guess there are levels to being a hiker, and you have to go on increasingly more difficult hikes to level up. So all ten were level two or whatever, and they were going on a level three hike to upgrade to level three."

He nodded, even though all the information was secondary in his attention. He just liked listening to you.

"Okay. So they get to this little town, and while they're there, all the locals are telling them shit like, 'Don't go up that mountain,' or 'you'll die up there!' Like, horror movie type shit. The kind of stuff that makes you yell at the TV."

He was familiar with that. You did that a lot -- but so did he.

"Oh, and the mountain they were hiking on? In the local language it's called Kholat Syakhl. Do you know what that means?"

He... he did. He knew what everything in every language meant. But he let you have this, because you were clearly excited. Seeing the way you motioned with the book, he waved toward it and asked, "Dead mountain?"

"Fucking -- dead mountain!"

He chuckled, but otherwise stayed silent.

"So they're getting all these crazy warnings and the mountain is literally called Dead Mountain in the local language, but they decide to go anyway! So they go off, but before they get very far, one of them is like, 'I'm so sick, I can't go on!' and so he tells them he's gonna go back to the town, and they leave without him."

"I take it he's the only survivor?"

You nodded. "Yeah. The other nine kept going. Oh, and another crazy thing -- one of the girls on the trip was keeping a journal? That's how we know about, like... 90% of the things that happened after they left the town."

He nodded. "Makes sense."

"So, because of this girl's journal, right? We know that one of the hikers just, like, fully went off his fucking rocker about a day into the trip."

"What?" Crowley asked, leaning forward with interest.

"Yeah! He started getting really antsy, and he kept shouting stuff at seemingly nothing? He yelled, like, 'Stop following us!' and stuff like that. At nothing!"

Crowley, for effect, took his sunglasses off so that you could see his surprised look.

"Anyway. So they keep going, even though literally everything that could ever say 'turn back' is saying 'turn the fuck back!' They got off course --"

"As you do."

"As you fucking do. They got off course and decided to hunker down for the night and retrace their steps in the morning. They set up camp, went to bed, and then they all fucking died."

"Oh, I imagine there's more to it than that," Crowley said.

The grin on your face was bordering on manic. "Oh, of course. First of all, according to the girl's journal, two of the hikers went batshit, started laughing hysterically for no reason, and then took off into the night, never to be seen again -- well, not alive, anyway."

"Ominous," Crowley observed thoughtfully.

"Right? And the other weird thing about that -- well, pre them all dying. There was, according to the girl, a big, glowing orange ball of light in the sky that night. They have a picture of it," you said, turning the book so that he could see. "Of course, it's in black and white, but still. And -- the craziest part of that, is that there were hikers on the other side of the mountain on the same night who confirmed the big glowing orange ball of light!"

Crowley's mouth dropped open.

"I KNOW! And then -- their deaths are even more bizarre! First of all, they cut their way out of their tent? Like, they didn't just -- open it and leave. They cut. Their way out. And then they ran down the side of the mountain into the trees. No one's really sure how anything else happened, but what we know for sure is that three of them were found a little up the mountain, like they'd been trying to make their way back up."

"Mhm."

"And two were found naked -- right at the edge of the trees, under one of the bigger ones. Some branches in the tree were broken in a way that seems to indicate that they were trying to climb up and get a view of the camp. There were also remains of a fire beside the bodies. We don't know for sure why they were naked, but the theory is paradoxical stripping."

"And what's that?" Crowley asked, even though he knew.

"It's when you're so cold that you start to feel hot, and so you take off all your clothes."

Demonic work, he was sure.

"So that's five of them. They were found shortly after they died. The other four weren't found until a few months later, after the spring thawed a lot of the snow."

"Why weren't they found right away?"

"Because they were found in a ravine about a mile past the treeline! Three of them were found in a stream in this ravine. One of them had a piece of her skull missing? And all of them had major trauma to their chests -- like, high-speed impact by a delivery truck kind of major impact. To this day, no one's sure what the fuck caused that kind of damage."

Crowley clicked his tongue in thought.

"And the last one -- she was found sitting up against a big boulder? The official report describes her like that. Sitting up against a boulder. She had, like, chunks of her face missing? And her tongue was missing. Like, the whole thing."

"You specified the official report," Crowley observed. "Is that important?"

"Oh! Yes! Because the pictures of the area? They show her as laying face down in the stream with the others!"

"That's suspicious."

"Right? On top of all that, their bodies had traces of radiation! Not their clothes, though, or their belongings. Just the bodies."

Crowley hummed.

"Oh! And their tent -- when authorities found the tent, it looked like it had been put up by amateurs. Like, level zero hikers. But these were level two hikers doing their level three hike. There's no reason their tent would've been put up like that. Even if they were in a rush or scared or whatever, it would've been put up at least sort of better."

He nodded in understanding.

"It's just -- it's all so crazy!"

"I can tell," he mused aloud, lips quirking into a smirk at your perplexed and frustrated expression.

"The thing with the girl's face is really weird," you said after a moment of thought. "The theory is scavengers, but reports of the incident specify there were no animals in the area. Like, I feel like if there were scavengers, you'd write down 'no predators,' or even 'no wolves or bears.' But no, they wrote, very specifically, 'no animals.' Like, I dunno, it just feels like that's a weird distinction to make. But then, if there weren't any animals, how did her face end up with bits missing?"

"I couldn't tell you."

"And why lie about her, too? Why move her and put her in the stream when the report literally says she was up against the boulder?"

He shrugged, before shifting forward to grip your knee.

"I just -- it's all so crazy, and weird, and -- and --"

"Oh," Crowley interjected, looking thoughtful. "Now I know why that all sounds familiar."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, that was demonic work," he continued, blissfully unaware of your increasingly maddening expression. "I'm pretty sure that was my side."

"So you -- you know what happened?"

He finally caught your expression, the set of your jaw and slight twitch in your eye. "Oh -- yeah. Of course," he said, sounding rather unsure, actually. If anything, that just seemed to aggravate you more. "Space yetis."

"... SPACE YETIS!?"

#crowley x reader #crowley x you #good omens x reader #good omens fic #good omens fan fiction #david tennant #this fic is purely self indulgent nonsense #reader is me #literally #the dyatlov pass incident haunts me to this day #fun fact I did not use google wikipedia or any other source for this fic #i just have basically every detail memorized #like a crazy person

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tismrot · 5 months

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GOOD, EXTENDED OMENS - a fic list

READ IT IN THIS ORDER! (And read song lyrics for more clues) Click red links to find my ‘explain what we’re not seeing’-minisode fics - allow me to break your hearts, please. I make my own explanations for everything that hasn't been explained yet. Would be cool if I was right about some of these.

4004 BC - 2000 BC - Mostly hot fluff, them finding each other in odd places throughout history, trying to figure out why the pull is so irresistible. Starts with figuring out certain physical aspects in Eden. 🌶️🌶️🌶️

1941 - Oh no, the apology dance... with a twist! Who confessed their love on this fateful night? ...And who turned out to be the ineffable idiot? And who came back later? TW: Abusive language, bad things happening in bed 🌶️

1991 - THREE NEW CHAPTERS! Celestial beings go to a 👁️rave👁️ Rated E for... E. Yes. That kind. Do not read if you shouldn't. This is not a cautionary tale, but you might pick up life-saving knowledge. Really. 🌶️🌶️🌶️

1994 - 2008 - Crowley is in recovery, Azi is writing about their yearly meetings in his diary. Meshes with the first scene of them in St. James' Park in season 1. 2019 - 2022 - FINISHED! They averted the Armageddon, and nobody gives a hoot what they're up to. Aziraphale seems to have learned to trust Crowley after what happened in season 1, but Crowley doesn't trust herself. This fic is about what happens up until Monday, September 4th, 2022, when a box-carrying man-friend appears on Aziraphale's doorstep. I wrote an alternate ending, what would have happened in season 2 if Gabriel hadn’t showed up.

BOOK OF SARAQAEL - Apparently, Saraqael knows what’s up. So, what is up, you ask? Saraqael wouldn’t tell you, but perhaps you’ve paid attention to the Clues and figured it out?

BOOK OF LIFE - Time hasn’t started yet, and Aziraphale comes to his senses sitting at a conference table, certain the feeling that something is wrong would go away if he could be near… something or someone. He doesn’t know yet. This is the one, guys - this one explains the Fall, it explains everything.

—

They’re all on the same timeline and it’s gonna be kinda huge. I don’t know why I’m writing this, but I have to.

To the world!

Will update this when I write more minisode-fics❤️

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fakemichaelsheen · 10 months

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-the bookshop-

crowley: *pacing*

aziraphale: *drumming his fingers*

crowley, frustrated: okay, I’m sick of this, angel.

aziraphale: shh *glances at the back room* keep your voice down.

crowley, whispering: we haven’t been alone in such a long time. every time we try...he’s always there.

aziraphale, sighs: yes, I’ll admit it’s becoming...suffocating...

crowley: let’s go somewhere. without him.

aziraphale: we can’t do that *pauses* can we?

crowley: yes! just tell him you’re going out. I’ll handle everything else.

aziraphale, smiles: okay, that sounds wonderful.

crowley, pleased: great. I’ll send a message *leaves*

-one hour later-

aziraphale, reading a note: lunch at the ritz. half an hour. c

gabriel, appears behind him: secret admirer, huh?

aziraphale, jumps: what? n-no *screws up the note* um, I’ve just remembered, I have to go out actually.

gabriel, smirking: uh-huh...

aziraphale, waves a hand: completely unrelated.

-later, the ritz-

aziraphale, raises an eyebrow: this is your ideal location for a clandestine rendezvous?

crowley, shrugs: it’s worked for us in the past.

aziraphale, nods: I don’t mind. it’s just nice to finally be alone.

crowley: yeah *pauses* angel-?

gabriel: room for one more?

aziraphale, startled, lets go of crowley’s hand: what are you doing here?

gabriel, oblivious: I followed you. thought you could use some company.

crowley, glaring: great.

gabriel, pouring himself a glass of wine: I’ve been wondering why you guys have been raving about this place.

aziraphale & crowley: *glance at each other sympathetically*

-the next day, st. james’ park-

crowley: *tossing seed to the ducks*

aziraphale: *approaching*

crowley, apprehensive: well?

aziraphale, happily: I sent him on a wild goose chase. he’s gone to collect some books that don’t exist. we should have several hours to ourselves.

crowley, relieved: good *clears his throat* uh, I’ve missed you.

aziraphale, smiling: I’ve missed you, too *feeding the ducks* it’s been a while since we’ve been here.

crowley, nods: just the two of us.

gabriel, chirpily: yeah, it’s great.

aziraphale & crowley: ...

aziraphale & crowley: *glaring at him*

gabriel, looking between them: ...what?

#gabe. take the hint my love #aziraphale x crowley #ineffable husbands #crowley x aziraphale #good omens #good omens 2 #ineffable chatfics

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thethingswedotomorrow · 5 months

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After 200 years of being a 'shopowner' in SoHo, Whickber Street has gotten relatively used to Aziraphale's (and subsequently Crowley's) presence. But after 200 years, people have definitely noticed that A.Z Fell and Co. is in no way a typical bookshop.

The shop's opening hours alone are enough to give away that something isn't quite right.

The hours of operation sign reads like a puzzle you'd expect at the entrance of a haunted tomb

(Which was EXACTLY what Crowley was going for. Aziraphale approached him in 1835 about making a sign to avoid customers, and he still prides himself to this day about it)

"No customers today, Angel? I wonder what wicked creature could've caused that. Must be a pretty brilliant demon, that one."

Crowley tries to use that sign as leverage in arguments at least twice a decade and it's never once worked, but he figures one of these years the Angel will finally gives in to his 'wiles', and Crowley is nothing if not persistent

Aziraphale has a reputation among the rare book enthusiast community as the rudest gentleman they've ever encountered, but he always sends baked goods afterwards when he feels guilty about it

Once, a particularly rude collector found that the package they received seemed to be expired by a very, very long time. And all the cookies broken and crumbled.

It was the cruelest thing Aziraphale could think of, ruined treats. Crowley was very proud of him for that.

"Absolutely diabolical, Angel. Ever consider a career change? You'd be a Hell of a Demon with skills like that."

If a customer miraculously finds the shop open, they immediately realize that they probably shouldn't have walked in

Aziraphale is always perfectly polite to customers, of course. But 'polite' and 'welcoming' are very different words, and Aziraphale is a Principality, not a saint. He's never had much patience as far as customers were concerned.

Anyone who finds themselves wandering towards the first edition shelf towards the back suddenly seem to remember that they've missed a very important appointment.

A mysterious phone call from a long-lost family member goes a long ways towards turning people around and back onto the street, as well.

Once or twice, a few persistent potential-customers have found their phone buzzing, announcing they've suddenly won a rather large amount of money from a contest they don't remember entering.

On the rare days Aziraphale has to go out of town for an auction or errands, Crowley will occasionally volunteer himself to watch over the shop.

When Crowley is alone in the shop with customers, all bets are off.

From the street, you'd think somebody was throwing a rave in the shop.

Lights flickering off and on in no particular order, and occasionally turn colors. Apparently, it's very difficult to browse books with flashing blue and orange lights all around you, and when you complain to the man sprawled on the seat behind the counter about it, all you get is a smirk and a "Sorry 'bout that, keep meaning to fix them up. Whatta shame, huh?"

Suddenly the lights seem to fix themselves, just in time for the soft classical music coming from the back of the shop to turn into a techno rave edit of 'Never Gonna Give You Up'. All at a volume that would be painful at a outdoor concert, let alone a small shop.

Sometimes, Crowley doesn't even sit behind the counter. Customers might just walk in to find a very large, very judgemental looking snake laying across the desk, hissing at anything that moves.

He had to stop pulling that particular trick after a concerned group of mothers called animal control on him, and he almost got kidnapped by idiot humans who decided to try and pick up a 15 foot snake with little grabby claws.

Crowley had far too much pride to tell Aziraphale about that day, and sulked on the couch in the back for the rest of the week.

(Aziraphale found out, of course. Nina watched the whole thing from across the street, and laughed so much she dropped a pot of coffee all over her counter. The Angel had the good graces to never bring it up, but quietly laughs everytime Crowley glares at an animal control van that passes by the street.)

The only time Aziraphale welcomes humans into his shop is when they come in, not for books, but for refuge.

The people of SoHo always know that A.Z Fell and Co. is open to everyone that needs a safe place, for any reason.

They'll find a kind looking man ushering them inside, offering them a seat and a cup of tea, listening to their problems and offering advice, helping when he can. He has the air of someone much, much older than he looks, and much wiser than you'd think.

Those humans, the ones who come in seeking help, always leave feeling miraculously better. And sometimes find themselves blessed, just a bit.

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robinwinged · 4 months

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(Good Omens Christmas fic review week!)

The Grinch Who Sold Christmas by @forineffablereasons is an elixir of the most concentrated and unbridled Christmas joy you’ve ever had, wrapped up in a gorgeous writing and ineffable feels. The story arc echoes your typical cheesy Christmas movie - big-city solicitor Crowley comes to finalize the sale of the Tadfield high street, and in the process of doing research for his proposal, falls in love with the small-town community and a certain kind-eyed angel. But regardless of how predictable the plot may sound initially, this fic is the most magnificent kind of fantasy - not because it contains any supernatural elements, but because it gives readers a taste of the ultimate dream: of unconditional love, and incandescent happiness, and being exactly where you are supposed to be and where you wholly and irrevocably belong.

This fic is so supremely soft - sticky-sweet and syrupy, but not in a cloying or overbearing way. Instead it feels like you are being enveloped in the tenderest and most comforting of hugs; like you are submerged in a torrential outpour of love that is all-consuming in its potency, leaving your fingertips all tingly and your face stretched involuntarily in a silly, dazzling smile. The romance between Crowley and Aziraphale is downright picturesque, from the flirty first-date banter to sticking with each other through thick and thin, and it’s wholesome and glorious and miraculous in its totality. I also cannot rave enough about the writing: it is some of my favourite kind of prose, flowing and melodious, with the lyrical cadence of a bedtime story and the unfettered magic of a fairy tale.

Highly recommended for anyone who wants to feel happiness, pure and simple, this lovely holiday season 💝

#robin reviews #robin recs #good omens fanfiction #good omens fic recs #christmas fic recs #human!au #hallmark movie plot #sweetness overload #solicitor crowley #bookshop owner aziraphale #ineffable love #ineffable husbands #darcylindbergh

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