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askdrunktwilight · 1 year

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Twilight: Ugh, it won't leave me alone!

#Drunk Twilight #Twilight Sparkle #My Little Pony #MLP #thedumbguywithaheart43 #Question No. 136 #Anonymous #Question No. 137

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befuddled-calico-whump · 1 year

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Riot Kings, page 136

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@appy-polly-loggies , @shydragonrider , @professional-idiocy , @burtlederp , @unicornscotty @whumpwillow @bliss7575-blog @transjenderdeanjail @grizzlie70 @whatwhumpcomments @madrono-but-i-am-not-a-fruit @whumpzone @maracujatangerine @whump-em @crystalquartzwhump @outofangband @onlywhump @myst-in-the-mirror @badluck990 @kixngiggles @whumpacabra @whumpy-catfish @throwawaywhumper @dont-touch-my-soup @uvanuva @kiichu @dreamsofwhump @valiantphantomturtle @voidviewer-blog @whumpsday @kira-the-whump-enthusiast @distinctlywhumpthing @finaldreams1106 @redwhump @apokolyps @wolfeyedwitch @emmanemanems @briars7 @stuffmyfriendssay @stuck-in-this-mortal-form @whumpedydump @fleur-alise @basica11ywhumped @hold-back-on-the-comfort @withdrawingramen @daddy-cowgirl-boots @shywhumpauthor @caughtinthera1n @sodacreampuff @slimesheep

#breaking news: local officer is about to do some questionable things #i love kita and i forgive her for being rash because she's more of a big picture person and actually cares about protecting people #riotkings #136 #comic #scifi comic

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omni-scient-pan-da · 1 year

Note

(regarding these tags)

homegirl have you not stumbled across the "Leonardo Dicaprio doesn't date women over 25" jokes yet???

That makes so much more sense I don't know what was going on in my mind, but I think I had assumed that it was like... Some new Tumblr joke? I have heard of those jokes but I have not been bombarded with a lot of them recently and this clarifies a lot thank you akdnwkxkwk now that you've pointed it out it feels obvious 🤦🏽‍♀️

#panda posts #the all knowing panda answers questions #ask number 136

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reverack · 8 months

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how were you able to gain so much weight so quick?

I get this question asked a lot, so this will probably be the last time I answer them, but you’re in luck bc this is the perfect excuse to talk about my journey 😈

In January of this year, I was 136 lbs and I hated being thin so I decided to bulk up and become muscular (this was the original plan)

I was eating 3000 cal a day which was normal because it was a clean bulk. but I got impatient and then decided to dirty bulk in April. I was 146 lbs and by the second week of May I was already 179lbs. I thought my gaining pace was normal 😅 until I kept hearing that I was insane.

In June is when the comments really start to come in and my clothes are feeling very tight. I was a hard procrastinator, so I was still wearing my small shirts, even though they barely fit me and was squeezing into my sweats. And in that same month I finally hit the 200s. At this point I’m eating 6k to 7k cal a day, I also stopped working out. I became even lazier to try and avoid burning unnecessary calories.

August was a dud, because I was recovering from wisdom tooth surgery. But once I recovered, in the beginning of September, I got back to business and decided to go even more intense. I now eat 8 cosmic brownies a day, 2 500 cal dinners(which I wanna make 1k) and at night I would eat 3.5k cal before bed, no wonder I gained so fast. Look how I let myself go…Should I keep going? 😵‍💫

#fat gainer #get me fatter #ex twink #gay gainer #male gainer #overfed #weight gain #fat tummy #male bhm #bi gainer #askrev

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walks-the-ages · 1 year

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OP deactivated, and some of the links were broken/marked unsafe by Firefox, so here's a new compilation post of Leslie Feinburg's (She/her, ze/hir) novels and essays on being transgender:

Stone Butch Blues official free source directly from Author's website:

Stone Butch Blues, backup on the webarchive:

Transgender Liberation: A movement whose time has come, on the web archive:

Transgender Warriors: Making History from Joan of Arc to Dennis Rodman, on the web archive:

Lavender and Red, PDF essay collection:

Drag King Dreams, on the web archive:

(Also, if anyone ever tells you that the protagonist of Stone Butch Blues ""ends up with a man""........ they're transmisogynistic jackass TERFs who are straight up lying)

Please also check out your local public libraries for these books and see if they carry them, to help support public libraries! If you have a library card already you can checkout Libby and Overdrive to see if your public library carries it as an ebook that you can checkout :)

EDIT: another not included on the orignal masterpost-- Trans Liberation: Beyond Pink or blue !

annnnnd in light of the web archive losing it's court case, here's a backup of both PDFs and generated epubs a friend made:

5/26/2023: hello! I am adding on yet another book of queer history, this time the autobiography of Karl Baer, a Jewish, intersex trans man who was born in 1884! Please signal boost this version, and remember to check the notes whenever this crosses your dash for any new updates :)

6/24/2023: Two links to share!

Someone made an Epub version of Memoirs of a Man's Maiden Years, which you can find Here , as a more accessible version than a pdf of a scanned book if you're like me and need larger text size for reading--

And from another post I reblogged earlier today, I discovered the existence of "TransSisters: the Journal of Transsexual Feminism", which has 10 issues from 1993-1995, and includes multiple interviews with Leslie Feinburg and other queer feminists / activists of the 90s!

Here's a link to all 10 issues of TransSisters, plus a 1996 "look back at" by one of the writers after the journal ended, you can find all 10 issues on the Internet Archive Here !

------

8/28/2023:

"Bi Any Other Name: Bisexual People Speak Out", can be found on the web archive Here, for the 25th Anniversary Edition from 2015,

and also Here, for the original 1991 version.

Each of the above can be borrowed for one hour at a time as long as a copy is available :D

This is a living post that receives sporadic updates on the original, if you are seeing this on your dash, click Here to see the latest version of the post to make sure you're reblogging the most up to date one :)

------------

October, 25th 2023:

"I began to dawdle over breakfast during shift changes, asking both waitresses questions. After weeks of inquiries, they invited me to a demonstration, outside Kleinhan's Music Hall, protesting the Israeli war against Egypt and Syria. I was particularly interested in that protest. The state of Israel had been declared shortly before my birth. In Hebrew school I was taught "Palestine was a land without peo-ple, for a people without a land." That phrase haunted me as a child. I pictured ears with no one in them, and movies projected on screens in empty theaters. When I checked a map of that region of the Middle East in my school geography textbook, it was labeled Palestine, not Israel. Yet when I asked my grandmother who the Palestinians were, she told me there were no such people. The puzzle had been solved for me in my adolescence. I developed a strong friendship with a Lebanese teenager, who explained to me that the Palestinian people had been driven off their land by Zionist settlers, like the Native peoples in the United States. I studied and thought a great deal about all she told me. From that point on I staunchly opposed Zionist ideology and the occupation of Palestine. So I wanted to go to the protest. However, I feared the demonstration, no matter how justified, would be tainted by anti-Semitism. But I was so angered by the actions of the Israeli government and military, that I went to the event to check it out for myself. That evening, I arrived at Kleinhan's before the protest began. Cops in uniforms and plainclothes surrounded the music hall. I waited impatiently for the protesters to arrive. Suddenly, all the media swarmed down the street. I ran after them. Coming over the hill was a long column of people moving toward Kleinhan's. The woman who led the march and spoke to reporters proudly told them she was Jewish! Others held signs and banners aloft that read: "Arab Land for Arab People!" and "Smash Anti-Semitism!" Now those were two slogans I could get behind! I wanted to know who these people were and where they had been all my life! Hours later I followed the group back to their headquarters. Orange banners tacked up on the walls expressed solidarity with the Attica prisoners and the Vietnamese. One banner particularly haunted me. It read: Stop the War Against Black America, which made me realize that it wasn't just distant wars that needed opposing. Yet although I worked with two members of this organization, I felt nervous that night. These people were communists, Marxists! Yet I found it easy to get into discussions with them. I met waitresses, factory workers, secretaries, and truck drivers. And I decided they were some of the most principled people I had ever met. For example, I was impressed that many of the men I spoke with talked to me about the importance of fighting the oppression of gays and lesbians, and of all women. Yet I knew they thought they were talking to a straight man" Transgender Warriors (1996) Leslie Feinberg

#bold text #large text #transgender #trans #nonbinary #leslie feinberg #neopronouns #activism #no id #pride #essays #Karl bae #memoirs of a man's maiden years #bi any other name

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sugar-grigri · 9 months

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Fujimoto answers you directly in this chapter (yes)

How about reading CSM differently? Or at least cut it up differently? Because the more the chapters progress, the more a certain pattern seems to repeat itself: Part 1 sounds as if Fujimoto is unveiling CSM in its purest form, then Part 2 sounds as if CSM is responding to its own reception by its fans.

I've already said many times that Fujimoto likes contrast in form and in writing, and this chapter, though brain-numbing, simply follows Fujimoto's own rules, only in an even more accentuated way.

To prove my point, I recommend you reread chapter 133 "Protest", which for me speaks directly to the divisive image represented by Fujimoto and his work Chainsaw Man.

I've already done an exhaustive analysis of it, but let's get one thing out of the way: Fujimoto answers his fans in part 2.

Whether it's by posing a heroine who seems incompatible with Denji, hating the figure of CSM which is nonetheless the work in which she's included, whether it's through the themes addressed by part 2, the question of dual identity, creating antagonists like Fake!CSM, setting up a church (us) around CSM

We're in a work that speaks for itself, as chapter 137 confirms, and for this very rule, we refer to the previous chapters (an eternal restart).

Chapter 136, entitled "Normal Life", refers to a more-than-CENTRAL theme in Chainsaw Man, the nerve that irrigated the whole of Part 1 Denji's disillusionment, a bargaining chip for the former antagonist, Fujimoto takes his fans by the hand and puts them back into the game they know.

We see what we'd all expected to see, a Denji who doesn't know how to fit into normal life, who's not cut out for

In my previous analysis, I explained how not only is Denji incapable of having a normal life, not only because of himself but also because of Yoshida, who offers him this life, and above all because of Fujimoto, who abruptly breaks the rhythm of his own chapter with this aggression, frustrating (I'm sure on purpose) his own fans.

What Fujimoto does is make you think you were reading in the right direction, showing you a Denji depressed by his normal life, and like a child amused by not wanting to be predictable, he breaks what would otherwise have been a logical thing to see. I mean… Who could have foreseen such a title?

Chapter 137 simply follows the same logic: Fujimoto has foreseen your frustrated reactions and knows full well that you've become attached to Denji, hoping that he'll break out of the cycle of manipulation.

He plays you in this chapter by setting up a confident, emotionally well-adjusted Denji who pushes this stranger away, reminding her of the rules of respect and consent.

It's not just Denji's thoughts, the way he would have liked to act, it's also the way YOU would have liked him to act.

Now I can explain why these chapters, which break with the previous ones in their absurdity, are surely the most important in CSM.

Many had pointed to the famous cinema reference in chapter 136, others had even noted that chapter 136 constituted chapter 39 of part 2, responding to Makima's date with Denji in part 1 in the same chapter.

But chapter 39 of part 1 wasn't just interesting for the cinema scene, it was the one that set the rules for understanding CSM.

In fact, it was this chapter to which chapter 93 responded, with Denji's ideology (in favor of bad movies) confronting Makima (against bad movies).

In the same way, the second chapter 39 (the 136th) also seeks to lay down rules

Chapters 136 and 137 have never been more responsive to CSM fans, stubbornly denying them what they want.

What Fujimoto does is to return to cinema in its purest form in the second half, using the codes of the middle-aged male slasher.

That's why the two high-school students go to Fujimoto's karaoke bar, because you're going to find yourself in its purest essence: having fun with the utmost absurdity.

It's no longer a question of representing cinema, as in the two chapters 39, but of making cinema.

But why a slasher? Think of the mythical slashers that traumatized a generation… Yes… The Texas Chainsaw Massacre is a work that has achieved cult status for having opened the door to a new trend in American horror cinema: the slasher movie. Nothing represents a slasher movie more than a chainsaw-headed hero?

Inspired by the Italian "giallos", slasher movies feature a masked killer, a gang of youngsters and the killings of the serial killer in question. Fujimoto takes up this theme in his own way: Denji doesn't kill with his iconic chainsaw, he's not masked, and it's the young couple who hold the beats and the shady men who get killed.

If we go back to the depression we all expected to see, it's actually more complicated to understand: Denji's depression at being trapped in a type of writing that's too serious for him.

Here Denji follows the rules of the game, enjoying himself by killing all those old people, saying ironically: "not bad this normal life".

Because this scene is perfectly normal in Fujimoto's karaoke.

In itself, Yoshida was right. Indeed, no, Denji is not the hero of the normal film that was unfolding before them. Because they're not in normal life, it's projected onto the screen. CSM's reality is an absurd slasher. It is in this slasher, in this false normal life, that the protagonist, Denji, is.

Denji is the protagonist of another film. And maybe in this one, the world needs Chaisaw Man.

#csm spoilers #chainsaw man #csm part 2 #csm #denji #csm 137 #csm 136 #csm 133 #csm 39 #my thoughts

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thatsonemorbidcorvid · 11 days

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““The girls are unable to say anything because they are always being policed. You can’t ask questions, you won’t get the evidence on a silver platter. But when you are going around, you hear things and see things,” Singh explains, sitting in a nondescript office, piles of cardboard files all over the floor, documenting the thousands of girls they have rescued over the years, approximately 4,000 at last count.

“Most of the time the girls are locked up and they are only allowed out when a customer comes in. To ensure they are not interacting with the customers, the brothel keepers are always banging on the door and take away the mobiles of the customers.”

As a result of an 11-month long operation, conducted before the pandemic, Guria India were able to rescue 136 underage victims of traffickers, resulting in 61 brothels being shut down.”

In the narrow alleyways of Meerganj, the notorious red light district in the city of Allahbad, a man dressed in a brown kurta with a rucksack walks past the dilapidated brothels shouting ‘lipsticks for sale, good prices.’

He barely warrants a glance, one of dozens of street sellers who stroll down the alley daily, hawking their wares, a common sight in the hustle and bustle of cities in India.

Word has got around that he’s selling good quality products like Max Factor and other brands the brothel girls recognise from billboards featuring their favourite Bollywood actresses. He’s cheaper than the other sellers and lets them pay in instalments.

A group of young girls flock to him, picking up bright lipsticks and face powders, to make them look older than they are, or perhaps not, depending on the client’s preferences.

But this is no ordinary seller. He is from Guria India, an organisation which rescues and rehabilitates women and underage girls trapped in the sex trade.

He has been working undercover, disguised as a cosmetics seller, gathering evidence of victims of traffickers who have been forced into sex work, many of whom are underage and often thousands of miles away from home.

“You are working on a razor’s edge. There are no second chances. One wrong move and you could be killed. It’s not like a movie where you get a retake,” says Ajeet Singh, Director of Guria India.

The nature of trafficking is changing and so activists are having to find new and innovative means to take them on.

Singh said he came up with the idea of posing as a make-up seller after he found that the brothel owners were always one step ahead of him.

“It was always very difficult to rescue the girls because someone would leak the information and the brothel keepers would move the girls. The girls were not a priority for the system, so the police were not helpful. We had to be proactive in getting the evidence.”

Using rudimentary equipment he bought from Delhi, including spy cams concealed in a pen and button, he began scouring the streets of the red light district for almost a year.

“Make-up is something very enticing for girls. If you go to India, you’ll see street sellers in every city so I knew I would blend in,” he said.

“The girls are unable to say anything because they are always being policed. You can’t ask questions, you won’t get the evidence on a silver platter. But when you are going around, you hear things and see things,” Singh explains, sitting in a nondescript office, piles of cardboard files all over the floor, documenting the thousands of girls they have rescued over the years, approximately 4,000 at last count.

As a result of an 11-month long operation, conducted before the pandemic, Guria India were able to rescue 136 underage victims of traffickers, resulting in 61 brothels being shut down.

Social media ‘weapon of choice’ for traffickers

The sting, which was signed off by local people, used undercover filming to collect evidence against offenders. When enough had been gathered, ten members of the Guria India team joined police as they carried out dawn raids, using iron cutters to access properties where the victims were being held.

There are an estimated 1.2 million children under 18 working in brothels in India, many of whom have been victims of sex traffickers. Approximately 75 per cent of the cases Guria India dealt with involved under age victims ranging from just six months to 17.

The majority of these trafficked children are from lower castes and more than half of them are from families living below the poverty line.

While many of the girls sold to brothels are trafficked by relatives or family friends, in recent years, social media, with its low-risk and high rewards, has become the weapon of choice of traffickers, luring victims in with lucrative job offers or promises of marriage.

“The internet and exploitative romantic relationships are key factors for trafficking in recent times,” said children’s rights activist Bharti Ali.

“Often, the police don’t start their search in cases of adolescent girls immediately as they believe it to be a case of elopement. Many cases end up in girls being sold further by the boy/person they trusted or who promised them false marriage.

“When girls go missing, parents often try to search within their own community, her friends and relatives. This is when they lose critical time. When they suspect that she may have eloped, they may tend to not report at all to protect family honour … The girls too are unable to report as the traffickers keep a close watch on them.”

For victims of traffickers, their introduction into the world of prostitution is a brutal and violent one, in which they face beatings, gang rape and starvation. Some victims also reported having chilli powder placed on their genitalia and being subjected to electric shocks.

Among the girls they have rescued is Sarita, who was just 12-years-old when she was sold to a sex trafficker by her older brother and was transported 700 km away to work in a brothel.

“My mum was working in Mumbai and I lived with my sister. My brother was a drug addict. He told me he was taking me to see my mum but instead he sold me to a trafficker. I was locked in a room and beaten and raped by several men. I managed to find a phone and called my mum,” she said.

Sarita’s mother, along with the police and Guria India activists, were able to rescue her and relocate the family. However, the majority of victims are not so lucky. India remains a socially conservative society and victims of trafficking will often be ostracised by their families and community.

Rescuing victims of trafficking is only half the battle, while keeping them out of the hands of traffickers presents another challenge.

Rehabilitating victims back into a society which was already hostile to them in the first place is difficult and often the girls will end up falling back into the hands of traffickers.

In one case, 57 girls who were rescued by Guria were sent to a shelter home in Agra for rehabilitation, but were re-trafficked by the superintendent of the centre. Just this week, the superintendent was acquitted by the Supreme Court and Guria India is currently fighting the decision.

Despite the setbacks, Singh remains hopeful. “Although I don’t think we can eradicate child prostitution in my lifetime, I’m hopeful we can set the foundations to make the change,” he said.

And sometimes all it takes is a rucksack and a Max Factor lipstick.

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anyab · 4 months

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Via NasAlSudan

December 17 2023. #KeepEyesOnSudan #SudanActionWeek

Swipe through to build a foundational understanding of the war, its origins, and the key players involved. For actionable ways to support those in Sudan, check the link in our bio. Stay tuned for more posts this week.

Transcript:

National:

On April 15, a war broke out in Sudan's capital city of Khartoum between the Sudanese Armed Forces (SAF), and a paramilitary group known as the Rapid Support Forces (RSF).

Since then, eight months of conflict has led to major destruction of Khartoum's infrastructure, the most developed region of Sudan, with fighting also spreading to the regions of Darfur in the west and Kordofan in the south.

Civilians in conflict zones have been forcibly displaced, under threat of physical and sexual violence, particularly by the RSF, which has looted, destroyed, and settled in people's homes.

Regional:

In the western region of Darfur, a campaign of ethnic cleansing is being carried out by the RSF targeting the Masalit tribe. Allegations of genocide have been levied against the RSF.

Reports have just emerged that fighting has now spread to Wad Madani in Al Gezira state, which houses nearly 500,000 IDPs from Khartoum.

Key figures:

Abdel Fattah al Burhan Head of SAF

Omar El-Bashir Deposed Dictator of Sudan

Mohamed Dagalo (Hemidti) Head of RSF

Transcript:

Sudan: the war in numbers

A humanitarian "catastrophe"

24.7 million in need of critical humanitarian assistance

70-80% of hospitals out of service in conflict areas

19 million children are out of school

20.3 million people acutely food insecure. 4.9 million facing emergency hunger levels

6.7 million displaced [5.4 million IDPS, 1.3 million refugees]

7,000+ cholera cases an increase of +136% over the past month

Transcript:

FAQ - THE SAF

QUESTION 01: What is the SAF?

Stands for the Sudanese Armed Forces

Is the de-facto government of Sudan

Is headed by Lt. General Abdel Fattah al-Burhan

QUESTION 02 What is their capacity?

Estimated to have ~200,000 personnel and tactical advantage of airforce

Currently control the relative northern and eastern regions of Sudan with functioning capital in Port Sudan (East)

QUESTION 03 Do they have backing and support?

On the international stage, primarily backed by Egypt

Limited weapons supply from allies

Internally, the SAF is ultimately considered the lesser of two evils

Transcript:

FAQ - THE RSF

QUESTION 01 What is the RSF?

Stands for the Rapid Support Forces

Paramilitary group originating from the Janjaweed, Arab tribal militias armed by al-Bashir in 2003 to fight against ethnically African rebel groups in Darfur + carried out 2003 genocide

Is headed by General Mohamed Hamdan Dagalo (Hemidti)

QUESTION 02 What is their capacity?

Estimated to have 100,000 to 150,000 troops

Winning the ground fight in Khartoum and control 4/5 states in Darfur

QUESTION 03 Do they have backing and support?

On the international stage, primarily backed by the UAE

Have steady weapons supply chain and diversified financial profile with critical assets in UAE and Russia

Transcript:

THE WAR IN SUDAN: CONTEXTUALIZING APRIL 15

(6/1989 - 4/2019) THE BASHIR REGIME

Sudan was under the rule of military dictator Omar Al-Bashir for 30 years, who came to power through an military coup backed by Islamist factions in June of 1989

His time in power was marked by extreme repression, conflict, and economic decline

(12/2018 CURRENT) THE REVOLUTION

In December of 2018, a popular democratic revolution began that eventually unseated al-Bashir on April 11 through the revolt of security sector

Al-Bashir was ultimately replaced by al-Burhan, with Hemidti as his deputy of a Transitional Military Council

Protestors rejected military rule and continued to hold a sit-in outside the military headquarters until its violent dispersal on June 3 of 2019 by the SAF + RSF

Today, the Sudanese people still hope and advocate for freedom from military rule and the transition to democracy

(8/2019-10/2021) TRANSITIONAL GOVERNMENT

Agreement on transitional government signed between civilian forces and Transitional Military Council on August 17, 2019

Led to formation of joint sovereign council with Abdalla Hamdok as Prime Minister

Transcript:

(10/2021 CURRENT)THE OCT 25, 2021 COUP

Burhan and Hemidti carry out military coup overthrowing civilian counterparts

They draw power from international legitimization despite prolonged mass protests in Sudan

(12/2022) THE FRAMEWORK AGREEMENT

In December of 2022, civilians put out a framework agreement signed onto by SAF and RSF + civil society groups and political parties meant to return to a transitional government

Key part of agreement: question of integration of the RSF into the SAF

Parties were to finalize the agreement and sign on April 1; RSF and SAF ultimately disagreed on integration timeline with RSF wanting 10 years and the SAF wanting 2

(12/2022-4/2023) THE LEAD UP TO APRIL 15

As framework agreement negotiations failed, both parties began mobilizing troops in capital of Khartoum in days leading up to April 15

Residents of Khartoum awoke to the sounds of gunfire on April 15 and by noon, the RSF had seized Meroe airport in the Northern state

Conflict today considered a battle for power between the two generals they are too far in to walk back

Transcript:

FRAMING ALLIANCES

Sudanese Armed Forces (SAF):

Egypt

Israel (Foreign Ministry)

Islamists

Iran

Saudi Arabia

Ukraine (SOF)

Armed Groups

Rebel groups that had taken up arms against the central government in the Bashir Era are forced to ally with the SAF due to the RSF's ethnic cleansing campaign. They include:

Justice and Equality Movement (Gibril Ibrahim)

Sudan Liberation Movement/Army (Minni Minawi)

Gathering of Sudan Liberation Forces (Abdallah Yahya)

Rapid Support Forces (RSF):

Israel (Mossad)

Libya (Khalifa Haftar)

United Arab Emirates

Central African Republic

Russia (Wagner Group)

Chad

Arab Tribal Leaders

Arab tribal leaders across the Western region of Darfur have pledged their allegiance and support to the RSF, with members of the tribes across the Sahel crossing into Sudan to join the RSF's assault as well.

Key tribes include: Beni Halba, Tarjam, Habaniya, Fallata, Misseriya, Taaysha, Rizeigat

Transcript:

IS THERE AN END IN SIGHT?

THE STATE OF NEGOTIATIONS

Effort: JEDDAH TALKS [MAY]

Parties involved: Externally: United States, Saudi Arabia Internally: SAF, RSF

Outcome: Discussed humanitarian ceasefire; signed Jeddah Declaration of Commitment to Protect the Civilians of Sudan - Failed

Effort: INTERGOVERNMENTAL AUTHORITY ON DEVELOPMENT (IGAD) [JULY]

Parties Involved: Externally: Kenya, Ethiopia, Djibouti, South Sudan Internally: RSF

Outcome: Proposed peacekeeping troops to ensure humanitarian corridor - Rejected

Effort: CAIRO TALKS (NEIGHBORING COUNTRIES) [JULY]

Parties Involved: Externally: Egypt, Ethiopia, South Sudan, Chad, Eritrea, CAR, Libya Internally: SAF, RSF

Outcome: Discussed lasting ceasefire, safe humanitarian passage, political dialogue framework - Failed

Effort: JEDDAH TALKS [OCTOBER]

Parties Involved: Externally: United States, Saudi Arabia Internally: SAF, RSF

Outcome: Discussed lasting ceasefire, safe humanitarian passage, political dialogue framework - Failed

Effort: IGAD + AFRICAN UNION (AU) [DECEMBER]

Parties Involved: Externally: IGAD, EU, UAE, Saudi Arabia, South Africa, United States Internally: SAF (Burhan in person), RSF

Outcome: Agreed to a face-to-face meeting in late December and ceasefire; SAF later issued a retraction - Ongoing

Transcript:

The conflict in Sudan calls for the collective support of all to raise awareness about the war and aid the Sudanese people on the ground, especially when we live in nations that have been complicit in the oppression of the Sudanese people. Explore the options below and share with others. For more information, check the link in our bio.

WHAT CAN YOU DO?

EDUCATE YOURSELF

Deepen your knowledge about Sudan, empowering yourself with insights into the complexities of the situation.

DONATE

Extend a helping hand to Sudan by generously donating to individuals or grassroots organizations on the ground.

CONTACT YOUR REPS.

Amplify your impact by contacting your representatives, advocating for positive change.

#sudan #keep eyes on sudan #KeepEyesOnSudan #Sudan Action Week #SudanActionWeek #i hope the way i formatted it is good #i saw a few hours ago that rsf retreated from wad madani outskirts

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daffi-990 · 3 days

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stuck now so long, we just got the start wrong

aka rival firefighters 🚒 | buddie | chapter 2/10 | Explicit

Eddie’s just finished helping load up the last patient into the 118’s ambulance, Wilson already in the front with the engine running and ready to go, and Han in the back, settling in beside their patient, when Buckley finds him again.

“Diaz! Are you a match? Because you ignite a fire within me.” Buck says, stupid cocky smile in place.

“Are you a smoke detector? Because you’re really loud and annoying.” Eddie shoots back, way too mentally worn out from triage to go another round with Buckley.

A loud laugh rips out of Wilson, echoing through the cabin while Han laughs so hard he almost chokes on his gum. Once Han’s recovered, he wipes his eyes, looking at Buckley and wheezing out, “Oh my god you can’t be serious?”

Eddie uses the question as his chance to slip away and make his way back to his own team. Only for Buckley to call out to him not even seconds later.

“Hey, Diaz!”

So close. He was so close.

He comes to a stop but doesn’t turn around, not wanting to give Buckley the satisfaction or whatever.

“I hate it when you go! But I love to watch you leave!”

Eddie shakes his head and can’t control the huff of a laugh that breaks free. This guy really is something else. Eddie doesn’t even bother with giving him the finger or retaliating, just continues walking until he’s back with the 136.

Read Chapter Two on AO3

#chapter two is here!#fic: stuck now so long we just got the start wrong #rival firefighters fic #buddie fic #buddie #buddie wip #buck x eddie

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seungmoonandstars · 5 months

Text

𝐿𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝒟𝒶𝓉𝑒

Kim Seungmin/Female Reader

wc: 11k

rating: mature/explicit ಇ

comments: thanks everyone for the likes and reblogs and feedback! (´︶`) knowing someone is enjoying my fics makes writing seungmin so much easier. technically this is the last part, but not really...

⋆｡ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆ ⋆｡ﾟ｡ ⋆

→ Blind Date

→ Second Date

→ Third Date

Part 4 of 4

Seungmin goes quiet after that, relaxes against the arm of the couch. You’re on the opposite side, doing the same. You watch each other carefully , but nobody makes a move, and nobody starts to speak.

You wonder if there was something you could have done to avoid all of this drama. Four and a half months of wondering; of being so down you can barely make it to work some days. Both of you have been really bad at this.

“Yes, I know it’s complicated.”

Counting the days and weeks until Seungmin comes back to you has been excruciating, sometimes anxiety inducing, and the only thing really keeping you together.

As of today it’s been 136 days since you spent the night with him. Twenty weeks, almost, since you looked at him face to face—touched him, kissed him, desperately wanted to confess how you’ve already fallen for him, and you never want to leave his side again.

But he did text you three days ago.

A part of you feels like giving up, because maybe this has gone on for far too long.

It’s nothing that Seungmin has done. He hasn’t said anything to you about things likely not working out. He talks to you in the same sweet, cheery way he always has when he actually has time to text, or call. You don’t resent him for his lack of communication, ever, because you know his lifestyle is worlds away from yours.

But the part of you that’s crazy about him sits and thinks: he can call for a five minute conversation, ask me how I am before I completely fall apart. You think…why hasn’t he messaged back? It takes a few seconds.

You hate having these thoughts. But you’re only human, and you have so much empty time to think about him.

It’s just not the same for him. It might never be the same for him.

Right now you’re staring out of your classroom window, completely lost in thought. The kids are working quietly, and it’s honestly the first time all day where you’ve been truly alone in your head.

There’s a loud knock on the door, and it makes you, and your students, jump.

“Come in…”

The door opens slowly, and the face that peeks through the door is a familiar one.

“Hey,” Choonhee waits a moment, then enters and closes the door behind her. She grabs a chair and finds a spot to sit directly in front of, across your desk.

“Hi, what’s up?”

“I’m on my way out, but I wanted to see you before I left. I keep missing you, and you’re not answering my messages.” The look she gives you is a little bit questioning, and a little bit irritated.

“Sorry, I’ve just had a lot on my mind. I’m trying to get out of this slump.”

“Slump? The same one you’ve been in for the last…” she gestures vaguely at nothing, “month? Maybe longer, I don’t know.”

“Yeah,” you manage, but it comes out shaky. You feel your throat tighten, and the air is pushed out of your lungs. Your eyes sting with tears. You can’t do this here.

“Hey hey, I’m sorry.” Choonhee starts to stand, “go pull yourself together, I’ll watch the class.”

You inhale deeply and make your way to the restroom. Luckily you have it to yourself, because when you catch sight of yourself in the mirror, tears are starting to stream down your cheeks. The result of bottling up until you explode.

Talking to Choonhee about this was always an option, but you haven’t. For some reason, you didn’t want her know how deep the cut is that Seungmin has made in you.

Her blind date was probably never supposed to turn into this; something serious, something you want, maybe more than anything you’ve ever wanted. You feel stupid and childish about it, because you know who he is. Sometimes you have to remind yourself that it was him that initiated date number two, and three, sort of, otherwise you’ll convince yourself you somehow forced him into all of this.

It takes far too long for you to finish crying and clean yourself up, but she’s still sitting there waiting when you return.

“I’ll be over tonight, and we’re going to talk it out. Okay?” She says.

You nod, eyes still red, makeup probably giving you two black eyes.

“I have to get going, I’ll see you later. Your phone went off while you were in the bathroom.”

You watch her as she walks out, then look to your students. In a few minutes, they’ll be dismissed. And you can go home and finish the crying that you’ve started.

First, you sit and poke the screen of your phone. It’s just a text message.

No, it’s not just a text message. It’s Seungmin. Choonhee probably looked, but all she would’ve seen is the contact name for him; SM.

Weeks ago, you almost changed it to Minnie, but you didn’t. The impersonal, secretive SM remained. You unlock your phone and open it.

I hope you had a good day. You’re just leaving work, I think…if I have my time right

And just like that, he pulls you back up, and back in. He says the right thing at just the right time. Although today, he he did miss it by a few minutes.

Now you battle with whether or not you text him back immediately, or wait until you get home. Neither feels like the right thing to do. You stare down at the message until it’s time for you to dismiss your class, thinking of what to say to him.

It’s personal. He took note of the time, and remembered when it is you usually leave.

Part of you feels like crying again, but your heart is fluttering. You hate this.

———

“I got your favorite!” Choonhee starts unloading the bag of food she brought with her. “Don’t look so defeated over there.”

She let herself in while you sat folded up on the couch. You’re still looking at your phone, trying to figure out what to say to him. Should you keep it casual and tell him your day was alright? Lie?

No, you could tell him the truth; that it was a rough day, and you’ve had a lot of days like this lately because you haven’t seen him in such a long time. But you have no idea how he’d react to that. Maybe he would feel guilty about not texting more, or feel bad because he’s been too busy to see you when he is in Seoul.

Or maybe he would feel overwhelmed by it, and decide enough was enough.

Seungmin—the Seungmin you know, at least, has always come off very laidback. Open when he needed to be, but not overly so. He’s a little bit reserved, but so many moments with him have been…cute.

And Chicago. It’s been so long since Chicago—long enough that the memory is fading a little. You have to think back on it and keep yourself there, in that moment, to remember all the detail. It’s all still there, in your head.

Finally, you start to type.

“Hi Minnie. I had a rough day today…I hope I get to see you again soon.”

You stare at it until Choonhee clears her throat in an attempt to get your attention.

You read it once more, then send it.

“Okay, dinner is served. Eat and tell me what’s been bothering you.”

You set your phone face down on the table and take a few bites before getting into it. Starting the conversation will be the most difficult.

So you just start.

“This is a little bit my fault, isn’t it?” Choonhee listened quietly, but you could tell she wasn’t expecting this to be about him. “I pushed this on you. I knew he spoke to you back in…June? I think it was June. But I didn’t know you saw each other again after the first date.”

“Yeah, there was a second date. And a third. And, well…ya know.”

Her eyebrows raise, “what? Fourth, fifth?”

“No, we slept together.”

She’s silent for a long moment, but her eyes remain fixed on you.

“When I went home in July. Remember?”

She’s still silent.

“I haven’t seen him since then.”

“Seungmin doesn’t like opening up to people. He doesn’t do that. Or he didn’t, at least. Are you sure you didn’t just…dream it?”

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure I didn’t dream about having sex with him and then convince myself it really happened.”

Choonhee throws her hands up and waves your remark away, “okay I’m sorry, I’m just…surprised. I mean, even the multiple dates is a little surprising.”

“Then why did you even set us up?”

She shrugs, and then struggles to find the right words, “I don’t know…you were both here, and alone. I didn’t want you to spend the holiday by yourself. I thought you’d like him…I guess I was right. I’m not usually good with matches.

“So…are you saying I should just move on?”

“No, absolutely not! Text him right now, and tell him you want to see him when he gets home. He doesn’t get to fuck and run. I don’t care who he is.”

She goes quiet for a few seconds, but you can tell she’s frustrated and deep in thought. “I knew you’d like him. I’m sorry, I made this mess. If he doesn’t get himself together and talk to you like he should, I’ll go find him myself.”

———

By the time your text message gets to Seungmin, he’s home, undressed, and about to hop into a very hot shower. He smiles when he reads Minnie, because in the far too few messages exchanged, you’ve mostly called him Seungmin. His smile fades when he reads the rest.

He knows he’s been bad at this. Not just bad, actually—he’s been pathetic. He’s ghosted you, and strung you along for weeks.

No, he thinks. It’s been months of sporadic texting. Every time he was home, or close to home, he ignored you. Not maliciously, of course, and ignored is a strong word. He messaged you, but it really was the bare minimum. Especially after the last time you were together; you gave yourself to him, and Seungmin took all that he could.

Now he can’t admit to you how much it scared him.

He sets his phone down for now, and climbs into the shower—because once again, his mind, body, and everything in between is tired.

He’s so tired, he feels like he could cry. Maybe if he just let go, let himself wrap around someone and cry into their chest, he would feel better.

———

“When did he text you last?” Choonhee is cleaning up the table, throwing things into the sink, and generally doing a terrible job of tidying. But she means well, and you let her at it. “Has it been a while?”

“Three days ago, before today. He sent a message while you were in my classroom earlier.”

“Oh, is that who the buzz was? Did you answer back? Maybe you should just make him wait around.”

“I replied right before we ate, only because it took me a while to figure out what to say.”

You’re back on the couch now, phone in hand, eyes staring at the stagnant message thread. Figuring out his schedule is tough sometimes, and you try (and usually fail) to stay off of Twitter and fan sites. Right now you’re sifting through them, though—looking for anything new.

You pull up a few airport photos from earlier today. Seungmin is hidden behind a mask and a hat, but you can see his eyes. He looks tired.

It makes your heart sink. You return to your message thread again and read through the last few texts; they feel more and more impersonal as time goes on, and that makes your heart sink, too.

Maybe he is pulling away from you.

“I know saying this won’t help, but do not let this take over. Don’t let him get into your head like this.”

“It’s too late for that.”

Choonhee grabs your arm and shakes it furiously, “he’s just a guy!”

———

Seungmin is flat on his back, covers fluffed up all around him, a pillow under his head, another under his feet. No matter what he does, he’s uncomfortable. He desperately wants and needs to fall asleep, but it’s alluding him. His brain won’t shut up.

The room is chilly, and that’s usually what does the trick. Cold room, warm bed, and he’s out like a light.

He picks up his phone and reads your text again.

Hi Minnie. I had a rough day today…I hope I get to see you again soon.

If only he could figure out what to say back to you. There are so many things he wants to say, and so few ways he can think of to type it out.

Even if he were to see you face to face, he’d be lost for words. Seungmin is not one to let people in, but he has already let you in.

And now he’s stupidly pushing you away.

He pulls up a photo of you and stares at it. This wasn’t the way he planned on relaxing, but his hand is finding it’s way under his shirt anyway, touching his stomach, slowly moving downward until reaches the waistband of his sweatpants.

Thinking of your one night together, somehow still vivid in his head after all this time, is enough to get him hard. And looking at you…he runs his hand down the length of his cock, grabs tight, and strokes himself slowly. The breath he lets out is shaky. He has to be quiet.

———

“Is he?” You look at her, only slightly defeated. “…just a guy?”

“You slept with him, you should know.”

“He’s not.”

The look she gives you is almost enough to make you rethink what you just said.

“I promise you, beneath everything, he’s like any other guy you’ve dated who got too close, freaked out, and disappeared.”

You shake your head. Then your phone buzzes in your hand, and the feeling makes your heart jump to your throat, and your stomach sink all at once. You don’t immediately move your eyes to the screen—you can’t.

“Was that him?”

Now you look. SM. You nod.

you still want to see me?

You will see him again, and you’ll tell him exactly how you feel.

“What did he say?”

You turn your phone so Choonhee can read the message. She rolls her eyes.

“He sounds like a guy. I’m sorry I got you into this…but, you are going to see him again I assume.”

“Yeah, of course.”

———

It’s not until you’re in bed, hours later, that you open his text in an attempt to answer. But it might be better to do this in the morning, because sending one and waiting for his reply is going to keep you up all night.

You stare anyway, trying to get your thoughts in order; your words, your feelings. Do you want him to know how you really feel now, or when you have him in front of you? Can you even get the right words out when he’s in front of you?

You open your notes app and begin working on a reply.

You know I want to see you, Seungmin. I’m trying to be patient and understanding, but it’s so hard when you’re on my mind every day. I hope you’re getting some rest, and I hope you’re doing well. And I hope I can see you before you leave again.

You fall asleep writing. And in the morning, there he is again. One text message sent at 5am.

I’m so sorry. I should have made time for you in October, but every time I wanted to ask you, I froze, I don’t know why, I have no excuse

For a moment, you think you accidentally sent the rough draft of your text in your sleep. You didn’t. This was just him, awake before dawn, finally giving you something sincere. Now you have to rethink your reply.

The typing notification pops up while you’re reading over his message again. Still awake at 6:45.

I remember you telling me you wake up at the same time every morning... Good morning

You feel like crying again. But not like yesterday.

“Good morning” is the best you can come up with this early. He’ll have to wait.

———

Seungmin falls asleep, eventually, but not comfortably.

He gets up from bed to clean himself up, change (he’s warm now, so he opts for less clothes), and hopefully he’ll still be a little bit tired by the time he hits the bed again.

At 4:45am, his body decides he’s had enough. Now he’s awake, eyes still closed, bed far too warm. He throws off the blankets and flips onto his back.

Immediately, and not surprisingly, Seungmin’s thoughts turn to you. You’re sleeping soundly, he hopes, unlike him. He imagines you in the bed he’s never seen; curled up, tucked in. Maybe if he was there with you, he could sleep.

Every time he gets back home, he tries to push himself again, and he fails. He did it in October, and then again in September, right before his birthday. He knows he can’t keep doing this to you.

He pulls out his phone and opens your message thread.

…I hope I get to see you again soon

Seungmin stops thinking and just types:

“I’m so sorry. I should have made time for you in October…”

He stops and reads it. October. He was busy with the album release, but if he looks back in his messages again, he can count the number of texts he sent on one hand. You sent just as many…well, one more than him. That last message he didn’t even reply to. You must have been fed up with him and his lack of communication. And you had every right to be.

“…but every time I wanted to ask you, I froze, I don’t know why, I have no excuse.”

This part is true. Seungmin is almost freezing again right now.

“I don’t know how to explain…”

Now he thinks.

“…how all of this is making me feel. Maybe I’m…”

Seungmin backspaces the last sentence before he even finishes it. And then he hits send.

At 6:45, he’s still wide awake. He remembers you telling him your alarm is always set for this time, so he sends one more message.

And you reply. He was right, you were awake. Just a good morning, though. He’s sure it’s far too early for you to deal with his wishy-washy bullshit.

———

When he doesn’t text again by lunch time, you decide he’s waited long enough. And you can’t waste time, really. He might not be in town for long.

“I want to see you, and I will see you. Today, tomorrow, it doesn’t matter. But I need it to be soon. Neither of us are allowed to be nervous anymore.”

It’s better, you decide, than whatever you wrote last night.

He’s silent as you drift through the rest of the school day (you assume he’s having trouble thinking of a reply to that), and right as the class is gathering their things and leaving, another teacher sneaks in and approaches you. Then you realize it’s not a teacher, but you recognize her. She’s a secretary you’ve spoken to a few times before.

She nods to you and smiles. “I know you’re on your way out, but there’s a visitor for you, a parent who insisted I bring them right to you. It seemed important.”

You have very specific times for parent/teacher visits, and this is not one of them. And there is nobody else who would visit you. You’re confused. “Okay, send them in…I guess.”

You look down at your phone—you doubt it, but maybe you missed a text message or a call. No, nothing.

“Hello.”

The way his voice floats over to you almost knocks you out, and when you turn to meet his eyes, your throat refuses to let you release the air in your lungs.

“Your last text was very insistent. I know this probably is not the best approach…but I haven’t been doing a very good job of anything lately.”

Still you just stare at him, lost for words. You look around your classroom, then down at yourself. This is not how you wanted to see him again, but do you have any room to complain?

He takes a few steps toward you, “was this a bad idea?”

You manage to shake your head and swallow. And then you realize your legs still work, with some effort. Two steps later, your arms wrap around his waist, your face disappears in his sweatshirt, and you squeeze.

His tiny, relieved laugh is music to your ears, and then his hands slide across your back until he’s fully embraced you.

You keep him there for a long time, and he doesn’t protest or try to pull you away. When he does speak again, it’s a question.

“How was your day?”

You slowly release him, but making eye contact is a bit of a challenge. “It’s better now.” So you fall apart when he does show up; no strong words, no looks of disbelief at his absence. You knew this would happen.

“Where can I take you? Home? Or…anywhere you want.”

“Home is good.”

“Okay, there’s a ride waiting for us.” He moves his hands up and over your shoulders, and he rests them on either side of your neck. “I understand if you’re angry with me, and if you stay that way.”

“I am. I don’t want to be.”

Seungmin leans closer, and he moves painfully slow, but eventually he makes it to your mouth. His kiss is light and short, but he keeps going back to peck at your lips, over and over, until you open up and hold him there.

Finally, clear memories of Chicago fill you up. His scent and his touch pull you right back, and you hope he remembers it like you do.

———

It feels like your first date. A quiet car ride, a slow ride up the elevator, an awkward, unsure walk down the hallway to your apartment door. Then walking into your messy living room.

“Are you hungry? I can order something for us,” he says as he’s carefully removing his shoes. “And we can talk while we wait.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’ll make some coffee.”

Seungmin doesn’t follow you to the kitchen, like he’s done a few times before. Instead, he sits on the couch, situating himself so he can still see you.

You try not to look at him as you work, but you fail, several times. He smiles every time your eyes meet, but it’s a sad smile. It’s not one you’re used to seeing.

“No small talk,” you tell him as you hand him his coffee. “I’ll lose my mind.”

“No small talk.” He nods.

“Where have you been?” You start, staring down at your mug. “Not physically, I know that already. I mean…in every other way.”

“Uhm—“ Seungmin thinks. His face twists a little, probably in confusion. “Where have I…”

“Mentally,” you can’t take your eyes off of him now. “Emotionally.”

“Oh, okay I understand.” He clears his throat, adjusts himself. “It’s been hard to keep my thoughts organized lately. It’s not just that I’ve been busy with work…I haven’t been sleeping well.”

“I’m sorry.”

Seungmin shakes his head, “I could’ve fixed it, I’m sure. If I would’ve just talked about things with you a while ago, I probably would have slept easier.”

“I kept you up?”

“Yes. Well, thinking about you. I do think about you, all the time, even if I haven’t kept in touch. But I’ve been over complicating things, I think.”

“Talk to me now. Please.”

You think you can see his cheeks turning pink. His eyes are wide and shiny, but he’s unsure.

“I know, Seungmin…it is hard. It’s been hard for me, and I feel like it’s been a little more difficult for you. I kept everything to myself all this time, up until yesterday.”

He gives you another questioning look.

“Choonhee forced it out of me.”

He nods, sets his coffee down, and swings his legs up on the couch. Something about him making himself more comfortable puts you at ease. You remember him mentioning before that he felt relaxed being here, alone with you. "I don’t feel any pressure here." You hope he still feels that way.

“Tell me what you told her.”

“She did most of the talking.”

“Then what did Choonhee tell you?”

“That you’re just a guy, and I shouldn’t let you get to me like this.”

Seungmin actually nods at that—but he’s not looking you in the eyes now, so maybe he’s just…thinking about it. Or maybe he’s agreeing. You don’t know where this is going yet.

“I am just a guy, she’s right. I don’t want to be just a guy, though. Not to you.”

“Oh…”

“I thought I knew what was going on when we were together in Chicago, and I thought I knew what I wanted. I’ve been thinking all this time that if this couldn’t be a normal, traditional relationship, you would not be happy, not satisfied. And you’d tell me you weren’t interested in me anymore. I thought you would tell me you couldn’t do it.”

You almost interject; tell him that’s never what you expected of him. You wouldn’t never do that. Why didn’t you say that before? Instead, you used the hypothetical “if you weren’t who you are” question on him. You remain quiet, though, hoping he continues.

“…what I’ve been doing isn’t much better than what I’ve been afraid of. But you’re very smart, and I always knew that.”

You just smile at him, waiting for more.

“That’s why you were so worried when you found out who I was. You know this is much more complicated than that.”

“Yes, I know it’s complicated.”

He’s biting his lip. Tapping his foot. It’s almost touching you, and you want to stretch your leg out until it does, but right as you tell your brain to do it, his leg slides back. He sits up and leans forward, falls to his knees, and crawls across the couch.

Before you can squeak his name out, he’s straddling you, arms on either side of your waist. And then the full weight of his body is on you. Seungmin sets his head down gently against your chest and relaxes.

You freeze for a few seconds. You have fallen asleep on this couch with him before, but this feels like much more.

He doesn’t say anything, not even when you set your hand on his head—rake your fingers through his hair, wrap your other arm around his shoulders. He sighs, though.

When it feels like you’re drifting off to sleep, he finally speaks. It’s muffled against your shirt.

“You just want me, right?”

“What?”

“Even if nobody is allowed to know. And we can’t go out in public, and I have to pretend you don’t exist.”

“Seungmin, I know that we can’t have a normal relationship. I just want you…and to know that you want me.” You say the last part under your breath.

“I do.”

“You do?”

“Yes. I promise I’ll be better. And that I won’t be afraid to talk to you, and tell you too much.”

“You can tell me whatever you need to.”

“I don’t usually talk much…to anyone.”

It never occurred to you that he didn’t have someone to talk to when he was feeling down, or having a bad day. A bad week. He’s been bottling everything up, just like you have. Maybe for a very long time.

“You can talk to me about your bad days, Minnie, or when you can’t sleep. And about your good days. I would like to be that person.”

“Am I the reason you had a rough day yesterday? Have you had a lot of those?”

“Yeah, I have had a lot of bad days because I missed you.”

“You can tell me about your bad days, too. Even if they were bad because of me.”

“Don’t worry, I will.”

Seungmin laughs, and it shakes your whole body. “Good.”

☾⋆⁺₊⋆

The next morning is almost normal. Your alarm goes off at its regular time—6:45, and you’re tired, which is also normal. The room is chilly, and it’s so warm under the blankets that getting up is nearly impossible. An ordinary morning. The one thing that makes it different is that Seungmin is there when you open your eyes.

The alarm doesn’t even make him stir, but when you finally turn it off, he groans.

“I’m sorry, go back to sleep.”

“Are you going to work?” He asks, eyes closed, voice raspy with sleep.

“No, not today. I found someone to cover for me.”

He smiles and reaches his arm toward you, and he feels blindly around where he thinks you might be. “Why are you so far away?”

You move closer and grab his arm, “I’m right here. Go back to sleep.”

“I’ll try.”

…

Sleep eventually finds both of you again. When you wake back up a few hours later, he’s still there, breathing deeply, melting into your bed. You need to get up, but you wait a little longer. You really don’t want to wake him right now.

When he eventually wakes up on his own, he’ll feel better.

You close your eyes. And again, you fall asleep.

…

Something warm against your forehead wakes you up for a third time. Your eyes open and all you see is skin; Seungmin’s neck, his shoulder. The collar of his shirt is loose enough that you can see the start of his chest.

You pull him closer and push your face into him. He smells good. He smells like sleep and sweat and whatever leftover cologne is still stuck to him from yesterday.

Part of you still wants to keep your guard up. He’ll be gone soon, and then you’ll have to wait and see if his confidence and trust in you remains, and if he’ll really feel comfortable telling you the things he doesn’t tell anyone else.

“I can start,” you say, face still in his chest. You move up toward his neck and set your lips against his skin.

“Start what?”

“After we were together last, in Chicago, and we didn’t…use a condom. I did get a morning after pill, and I took it.”

He pulls you away so he can look at you.

“My period came really late after that, so I thought it didn’t work. And I was really scared. But I didn’t tell anyone. I didn’t tell you because we hadn’t talked very much that week, and you didn’t need that on your mind anyway.”

“I’m sorry you had to deal with that alone.”

“Everything turned out okay.”

“You can talk to me any time you need to, even if I’ve been quiet.”

You nod, and you really want to believe him.

“Too soon for babies.” He whispers, just loud enough for you to hear him. He has a little smirk on his face, but he’s avoiding eye contact and staring at the little bit of space between you.

“You want them?”

“Hm?” Now he makes eye contact, and his ears are slowly turning red. “Uhm…yes, I always have. Do you?”

Having kids isn’t something you’ve thought about much (aside from the scare you had in July), because you haven’t met anyone you would want to have kids with. Well, until now, because looking at Seungmin and the sweet smile on his face is making you want them immediately. But you know that’s not possible for him.

“With the right person, yeah.”

“I’m sure someday I’ll be able to do that. Have the time to be there, for both of them. You and baby. I couldn’t be gone all the time and leave you alone.”

He stops for a second. You wonder if he’s even hearing himself speak.

“…Seungmin?”

“It was my turn to tell you something personal.” He brings his hands up to his face and rubs his cheeks, then his eyes. “Just in case I’m the right person.”

The conversation feels like too much, too soon. But you like it. He’s only been open with you like this once before: on your second date, when he admitted to being worried you’d like his friends more than him. You thought that was silly then, and now…you’re not sure you could like anyone more than Seungmin.

“…and if I’m your right person.”

Seungmin smiles and hides his face in the pillow.

———

As the day goes on, you wonder how long he’ll be here with you. Every time he looks at a message on his phone, you assume that will be his cue to get going—to start saying goodbye. But he’s still here, and he seems content.

It was his idea to stay, and he insisted on making breakfast.

“What do you normally do on your days off?” is what he asked as you sat and ate.

So it’s been a regular day off, aside from the fact that Seungmin is also here with you…eating, cleaning, sorting laundry, watching tv, and eventually, catching up with schoolwork.

He sits down next to you on the couch when you open your binder and pull out a stack of papers. He watches quietly as you shuffle though them, putting the pages in order before you start to look them over properly.

He picks the next one up before you get to it. “How old are your students again?”

“They are eight…a few are nine.”

“I don’t remember my English classes being this complicated when I was…older than them.”

“You should see their math homework.”

“Oh, I was very good at math!”

“Yeah?” You look at him, give him your full attention. “There’s so much I don’t know about you.”

“Not even what’s on the internet?” Seungmin leans back against the couch, and pulls you with him.

“I’ve read a few things. But I’m sure you’re a lot more complicated than your fun facts.”

“I hope so.” He grabs you around the waist, “what were you good at in school?”

“English…” you laugh. “And I did pretty good in my German class, and history.”

“Do you speak German, too?” He’s holding you tight, head resting on your shoulder.

“No, I’ve forgotten almost all of that.”

“Why did you come here, to Korea?

You turn yourself to look at him, disturbing his resting head. But he keeps his arms around you.

“So close to Samseong-Dong?”

“I felt like I needed to start over after I graduated college, and this seemed like the perfect way to do it. I actually almost went to Japan.”

“Why didn’t you? Where did you go to college?”

“Northwestern University. And I missed a deadline. Luckily, I already had applications submitted to a few different programs here and nearby.”

“And you chose here?”

Seungmin’s hands wander throughout the entire conversation, stopping when they reach just below where the hem of your shirt hits.

“They chose me.”

“That’s very lucky.” They slide underneath and up your back, “maybe we were meant to meet each other.”

“I’m not sure I believe in things like that.” You move yourself closer to him, until your face is inches from his.

“I don’t either, really. Fate, and soulmates. I’ve been called a…uhm, I don’t remember the English word. A negative person.”

“A pessimist?”

“Yes. Maybe sometimes I am, but…not always. I can be positive. I just like to be realistic.”

“A pragmatist.” You lean in and kiss the corner of his mouth.

“Mhm, both of those P words. I did get lucky, though.” He pushes forward, gently coaxing you to your back.

“Was it there before?” You ask. He’s hanging over you, studying your face. “Before Chicago, after I asked if you would date me?“

“Was what there? You mean, did I like you?”

“Yes, but…more than that. Or was it spending the night together?”

“It was before that. That’s why I wanted to spend the night with you.”

You nod, trying hard not to beam up at him. But his hands are on your sides, and his fingertips are moving so delicately over you, you can’t help but smile.

“When was it there for you?”

Your heart starts beating a little faster. You have no answer ready for him except the truth.

“When you gave me Pochacco.”

“On our first date? At the coffee shop?”

You throw your hands over your face and nod, “yeah, at the coffee shop.”

“I felt kind of silly giving him to you, I thought you would think it was silly, too.” He pulls your hands away so he can see your face again.

“It wasn’t.”

“So PuppyM wasn’t silly either?”

“No, I love him. And your denim jacket you left, that’s hanging on my bedpost. I love all of your gifts.”

“Oh, I forgot about that jacket!”Seungmin comes down and settles himself against you, face in your neck, hands wondering more.

“You can have it back, if you want.”

“No, you keep it. But I do need something of yours to keep with me.” His hands slide under your shirt and across your stomach. He tickles your side again, then stops when he reaches your hip.

You’re surprised at his restraint.

“I’m sure I have something for you.” You set your hand over his and slide it up his arm. Then back down.

His fingers twitch and push under your shorts. As ready as you were, and as much as you wanted him to make that move, your breath still catches in your throat.

He props himself up with his other arm and looks at you. His fingers touch lightly over your underwear, taking his time, getting himself where he needs to be.

But you’re not taking your time. And it’s Seungmin touching you, so your body is already on fire. You push your hips up and push his hand harder against you.

His fingers slide up and sneak beneath the fabric. He moves slowly, and he’s watching you carefully, as if you might protest.

But of course you don’t. You grip his arm and slide your hand from his bicep down to his wrist, moving with him as his fingers slip inside of you.

“Am I doing okay?” He leans closer and whispers. He doesn’t wait for an answer before pulling out and sliding back over your clit, making you choke on your answer.

You manage a shaky mhm and Seungmin giggles into your ear. His fingers stay put, making soft circles around you, keeping his touch as delicate as possible. Then he takes them off again, and he pushes back inside.

The reach of is fingers is enough to hit just the right spot, and when you jump from the pressure, he does it again and again until he gets a moan out of you.

You lift your hips into his touch and pull him down for a kiss. Your grip on his arm tightens and he eases up, but barely. His mouth is working its way across your neck now, leaving you free to moan.

“Do you do this a lot?” He says as he nibbles across your ear and cheek. When he gets to your lips, he hangs above you and holds your gaze. His thumb slides over your clit again, like he wanted to remind you of what he was talking about.

“Uhh…hmm?” You slide your hand up and grab a handful of his hair. “Yes.” You laugh and knead your fingertips into his scalp—it makes his eyes roll back. He’s in your neck again, savoring his little massage.

“Do you think about me when you do it?”

His question sends another wave of pleasure through you. His fingers slip inside again, pressing hard. His thumb is on your clit, wet and sliding easily and hitting everywhere you need it to.

There’s hot, heavy breathing in your ear, and a sweet whisper, “do you think about me, hm?”

“Every time,” your climax hits fast, and Seungmin knows he’s succeeded by the way you’re pulling at his hair.

He holds himself up just enough to watch you squirm beneath him. His touch softens even more as you start to relax, and when you stop and stare up at him, he comes down and kisses across your forehead and down the side of your face. He lets you catch your breath before moving to your lips.

“Really?” Seungmin blushes and tries to stifle his laugh in your neck.

You nod slowly, “that was…very good.”

“Thank you.”

“Too good, maybe.”

“I did some research.”

“You did not.” But when you think about it for a second, it does seem like something Seungmin would do. “Did you?”

“Just a little. In case I’d get to try it out on you someday.”

———

Seungmin looks carefully across your desk, touching the books stacked there, the loose sheets of composition paper, the notes and pencils. He sits in your chair and opens the drawer—inside are a few notebooks, all used and full. He shuffles things around a little, searching every inch.

Now he gets up and moves to your bookshelf. It’s more of a trinket shelf, though. Seungmin only runs his eyes over this, until he catches sight of a snow globe. He picks that up and shakes it. Inside is the Chicago skyline.

He stares at it for a long moment, then returns it to his spot. His attention turns to you, on the bed.

You just smile at him. He keeps looking around.

The next stop is your bedside table. You sit up when he sits down on the edge of the bed, run your hand down his back. As soon as he opens it, he whispers an ooh, and reaches inside.

“What did you find?” You laugh.

“Me,” he holds up three photocards with his face on them.

You take them from him and fall back on the bed, “you”, and look deeply at paper Seungmin.

“Hey, I’m right here…” he pushes your hand away and bends down to kiss you. “Real me.”

The next thing pulled from the drawer is a journal. He looks it over, but doesn’t open it.

“That’s you, too.”

Seungmin points to it, and his head tilts, “this is me?”

“Yeah, almost every page.”

His face goes from confusion to understanding, and then it falls a little.

“You should add one more page.”

“I will.”

The journal goes back in, and then his fingers close around something small. When he pulls it out, it catches the light and throws a reflection across the room.

“Oh, I haven’t worn this since last time.” You sit up and Seungmin hands you the bracelet. It’s only a tiny gold chain, but at the very end of it is a star charm.

“This.” He says, and he watches as you unclasp it, wrap it around his wrist, and close it again.

☾⋆⁺₊⋆

An hour after Seungmin left your house the last time, he sent you a text that just said “I’m home”. That was a first, and it felt like a good omen. But only time would tell. He never really had a good start with keeping in touch.

But he also said goodnight. And then he said good morning. And sometimes he called just to tell you instead of texting.

Actually, this morning, almost two months later, he called early in the morning, when you were still asleep. You caught his name on the lock screen before you picked up, but you still lacked the energy for anything more than a groggy morning Min.

Luckily, he can make up in enthusiasm what you lack some days.

“I’m sorry, you’re still asleep,” he whispers.

“No, it’s okay. I’m just being lazy. What are you up to this morning?” You also caught sight of the time before answering: 10am, way too late for you to sleep in.

“Catching a flight home, from Thailand. Waiting around.” Now you can hear the sleep still lingering in his voice.

“Oh right. I forgot you were there…I did see some photos. You looked very handsome in your safety glasses.”

“Thank you,” he laughs. “I was calling to…uhm, say good morning, and also to see if you would be home tonight.”

“Minnie, I’m always home.”

“That’s true, but it would still be rude to just show up unannounced.”

“I give you permission to show up unannounced.”

“Can I have a key, too? Oh, that reminds me…uuh, well, actually I’ll just talk to you about it later.”

“Okay, don’t forget. And yes you can have a key.”

———

This is the first time you’re not nervous about Seungmin coming over. Well, not as nervous as you typically would be. You’re still a little on edge—a little worried about how you look and about how your food is going to taste.

He didn’t mention anything about coming over hungry, but you’re taking the initiative anyway. If anything, he’ll have something to take home with him.

A soft knock at the door. You know his soft, steady knock, and you never have any other visitors, so it’s him. But for some reason you stand there stupidly, not moving, not saying anything, because you know it’s really him on the other side of your door.

Finally, after a few seconds, you take a breath. “It’s open.”

The door swings open.

“Hi,” Seungmin closes it quietly, takes off his shoes and looks at you from across the room. “It smells very good in here.”

“I wasn’t sure if you’d eaten so…”

“No, nothing since lunch.” He takes a few long strides toward you. Big blue sweatshirt, matching sweatpants, a big smile. “So I’m very hungry,” he embraces you and squeezes you tight against his chest. “How have you been?” He relaxes, but he doesn’t let you free.

“I’ve been okay...I’ve been good.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t visit around Christmas—oh!” He bends down and kisses you.

He kisses for a long time—long enough that you think you might end up in bed before you even eat dinner. But he slows down, and then releases you.

“Happy new year! A little late.” He comes down again for one more kiss, and then makes his way to the kitchen. “What did you make? Something American? It smells like something American.”

“Yes. It’s very American.”

“Should we eat first, or talk?”

“I’m sure we can manage both.”

———

The two of you stare at each other from across your tiny kitchen table. Seungmin sips his tea. You just watch and wait, because this is his conversation.

“Do you want me to start? Something about you having a key to my apartment?”

“Ah, yeah. Yes, I should have a key, but I was thinking of a different apartment.”

“Oh, like yours? No, you don’t have an apartment. Or do you?” You lean a little closer, “secret apartment?”

“No, no secret apartment,” he laughs. “But I thought it would be nice if you lived closer. Closer to the city, and closer to me.”

“That would be nice, but I’m not sure something closer is in my budget.”

“I know,” Seungmin smiles—there’s always something so clever and knowing about his smile. “I figured you might say that. I could help.”

“You want to help me with rent? Expensive rent. That’s kind of serious.”

“I do! It is serious. I am serious.”

“You are?” You sit back in your chair and study his face. He’s still smiling and nodding at you.

“Yes, I’ve been thinking about it for…almost two months. And I found somewhere I think would fit very well.”

“Closer to you?”

“Much closer. I could walk to you.”

You’re thinking, but you’re not really thinking. The obvious answer to this is yes, even though it’s hard to just come out and say it. The idea of someone else helping with rent, or helping with anything, is foreign to you. “I would like to be closer to you.”

Seungmin looks at his phone, pulls something up on it, and then slides it to you across the table. “How is something like this?”

You trust Seungmin’s taste and judgement, but you still want to look it over thoroughly. Distance, yes, but also the size, the layout. And you do not have enough windows in this apartment. You’d like more windows. If he’s as serious as he looks, it might as well be worth whatever money you’re both going to put into it.

“How about this one?” You pull up a different listing.

He looks it over, “still very close. Oh, two bedrooms. Maybe the extra space would be nice.”

“It is a little more, sorry (Seungmin shakes his head when you say that), but it has a bathtub instead of just a walk-in shower. And it’s own laundry.”

He laughs, “I could do my laundry faster if I bring it with me. And the kitchen is nicer.”

“I miss having a bathtub.” You hand him his phone back. “But are you sure this isn’t too much? I know you said you were serious—“

“I am…I want you to know that I’m very serious. I think this is a good way to show you. And it’s also very practical.”

“You seemed so unsure before. I just want you to be…good. I want both of us to be good.”

“I’m very good.”

“This is a little crazy, isn’t it? All of this.”

“Yes, it is. I’ll call about it tomorrow.”

“No, I can. Let me do that, at least.”

———

“Minnie?”

Mmhm?

You sat on the couch after dinner, and it didn’t take much time before he had you on your back. He lifts your shirt as far as this position will allow, letting his fingers dance over you—making you squirm a little from how soft his touch is.

Forming the words you want to say is much harder than you thought. They’re dancing around in your head; you’re moving them back and forth, but every way it comes together feels like too much or not enough. Maybe right now just isn’t he time.

“What’s wrong?”

You pull your shorts down, open your legs for him, then shake your head. “Nothing.”

Seungmin reaches down and feels you, slips his fingers inside, then slowly pulls them back out. He smiles against your mouth and pushes in again, just to feel how wet you are. “Are we okay here…are you comfortable?” He asks sweetly. His fingers are still inside, moving delicately.

You nod, but suddenly you remember that you are not good, and you’re not ready. “Shit, no we’re not good. We need a condom this time.”

“Oh right, we should be safe. Tell me where they are,” he adjusts his sweatpants and very carefully lifts himself off of you.”

“In my black bag, under my bed.”

You listen as he slides it out and digs around. The contents of that bag are a mystery, but the condoms you bought back in Chicago, both boxes, have to be in there still. You’re not that bad at unpacking, but if it’s something you don’t use, you’re definitely going to forget I’m about it under there forever.

When he comes back in, he has one in each hand.

“I’m….not sure which one is for me.” His voice seems a little dejected. He’s looking down at them as he approaches you.

“Oh Minnie, they were both for you. I bought these a while ago, when I didn’t know which would fit you better.”

“Oh,” he finally makes eyes contact again. His face softens a little. “Sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking.”

“It’s okay, come here.” You spread your legs again and wait for him, “I’ll put it on for you.”

He crawls back onto the couch, settles between your legs, and opens both hands, palms up, in front of you.

You take the right one and rip it open. Seungmin looks like his mind is suddenly full. His eyes are big and soft.

“Min, what’s on your mind?”

His hands are already on his sweatpants, pulling them down his hips.

“You are.”

You touch him, slide your fingertips down, and then back up. The condom goes on easily. “Does it feel okay?”

He nods and adjusts, makes himself comfortable, and lifts your legs until he has more room. He pushes in a halfway, then leans over until you’re almost nose to nose.

“Minnie?”

“Hmm?” He sets his forehead against yours.

“There’s only you.”

“Just me?” He pushes his nose into yours, “only me?” Pecks at your lips.

“Just us.”

“Only us.” Seungmin pushes the rest of the way in, waits a moment, then begins to fuck you slowly and deeply, “you’re all mine.” He whispers in your ear as he drags his lips over it.

It takes you a second to pull yourself together. Each thrust sends you upward and knocks the breath out of you, but you manage a nod.

“Tell me,” he quickens his pace. The couch shakes the end table, and you can hear the clatter of things falling to the floor. “Tell me you’re mine.”

“I’m yours.”

It comes out shaky, and it’s not good enough for you. But Seungmin is still smiling. You try again

“I’m yours,” you grab the back of his neck and hold him still, “I only love you.” Your hand grabs hair and pulls—lips close on his before he has a chance to speak.

But he sighs into the kiss. He slows down, and it feels like he’s melting into you more and more with each thrust. What little skin is exposed between the two of you slides together, damp with sweat, and Seungmin kisses every part of you he can get to in the position he’s in.

He tries to get rid of your shirt, but he can’t stop, and he has to stop to make any progress—so you clumsily lift it, and your bra, until you’re free.

His hand slides up your ribs and his fingers graze over you, but for now he just watches how he’s making your body move under him. He seems hypnotized, but eventually he blinks, and then his eyes are fixed on yours again.

The room is quiet—no ambient noise from the tv, no music, nothing. The only sounds are the heavy breaths and soft moans you’re sharing. The condom is slowing him down, keeping him here much longer, and everything feels good in this position; good enough that you’d be satisfied staying like this as long he needs it.

He made you come last time, and now you want to do the same for him.

You lift him off of you until you can see him better.

He looks you in the eyes again, satisfied and smiling. “You feel so good,” he’s back down again, mouth on your chest, kissing down until he can close his lips around your nipple. He licks and works his way back up, stopping at your throat and staying there, his warm breath hitting you. “You love me?”

Your heart jumps. It was already racing, but now you feel it everywhere. In your throat, your chest, your head. You don’t think you’ve ever told anyone that before; not so soon. It’s been a year, but tonight is only the sixth time you’ve seen him and touched him. Everything else has been texts, phone calls, video calls.

It doesn’t matter. You said it because it felt right, and it still feels right.

“Yes.”

Seungmin slows his pace. His exhales turns into a string of soft, dulcet moans. He lifts himself upright and holds your hips as he rolls into you. He comes quietly. You wouldn’t have even realized if you weren’t looking right him.

The satisfied look on his face makes your stomach swirl. You watch Seungmin smile before your eyes close, and you can hear him whisper something to you while you’re coming down from your own high.

He pulls out and carefully brings your legs together.

“What did you say?”

“I didn’t say anything, love.” He sits you up next to him and pulls your t-shirt over your head, “I was just…” he pulls you close, “nothing, it’s not important right now.”

“Will you stay here tonight?”

“Yes, I’ll stay.”

———

It’s been a long six weeks. You’re a little stressed out, but you’ve been holding yourself together very well, you think.

This apartment has been your only home for more than three years, so packing your things up and preparing to leave has been a little bit emotional. Almost everything is out of here and all that’s left are a few things you’re taking along on the last car ride.

Before this, everything was moving in slow motion and it was killing you. Now, it won’t slow down. You’re happy, and you’re grateful for everything that Seungmin has done for you…and it’s still sometimes hard to believe he’s doing it all just for you. But it’s so much all at once.

He told you he would stay tonight—your first night there. You haven’t received a text telling you otherwise, so you’re hoping he will be there when you arrive. You do have to remember that you’ll be there alone most of the time, though.

Some things will remain the same.

———

The elevator ride up is long, and you think back to you and Seungmin—your first date, bringing him home with you to your 5th floor apartment, thirty minutes out of the way, just to have him to yourself.

That was probably a good indication that he liked you. You just didn't realize it at the time.

You finally stop at the 17th floor.

The original apartment you looked at was unavailable when you called the next morning, so Seungmin insisted on taking everything into his own hands while you were at work. He knew what you were looking for, but he went overboard.

This apartment has the windows, the bathtub, and laundry room, but it also has double the space—and three bedrooms. When you asked what you were supposed to do with all of the extra room, Seungmin shrugged and said we’ll figure something out.

You don’t even own enough to fill up half of it. Everything that required any sort of muscle; the bed, the living room furniture, it all stayed behind. Most of the things in this apartment are new, or they will be new.

Before you have a chance to explore any further than the kitchen, you hear a very faint, soft knock on the door. You know it’s him and you run to open it, but he punches in a code on the doorknob, turns it, and peeks in before you get there.

“I tried to beat you here.” He smiles.

“You almost did.“

He closes the space between you and pulls you into a hug. “How was your day? Did the movers get everything here?”

“It was alright, and…I think so, but I haven’t gotten any further than this.”

“Just alright? I know it’s been a lot lately.”

“I’m better now that I’m here, and you’re here.” You take his face in your hands and squeeze his cheeks, “let me see, smile.”

Seungmin smiles widely and dramatically, and then bends down to kiss you. “How do I look?”

You pull him back for another one, “still handsome.”

He picks up the bags he walked in with and sets them on the kitchen chair. “I brought us dinner, and a few things to make you feel more at home.” Seungmin is pulling the food out of the bag, piece by piece. “So you didn’t see the bedroom yet?”

“Not yet, why?”

He shakes his head and smiles, “we’ll see it later.”

“What did you bring me?”

“Oh, let’s see!” He starts digging in the other bag.

You watch as he carefully places an assortment of things along side the food. There’s a candle, two candles, a small picture frame, but you can’t see the photo from where you’re standing. A stuffed dog. Another stuffed dog. One of them is Pochacco, the other is a mystery, but he does look familiar.

“That’s all for now but I do have more stuff to bring.”

“Well, we have plenty of space to fill.”

He beams at you, grabs one of the stuffed dogs, and pulls you against him. “This wasn’t mine, but I have one just like it.”

“I like him, he looks like you.”

Seungmin laughs and looks at Daengmo, “yes, he kind of does.”

———

When the sun goes down, and you’re both full and relaxing, you begin to feel even more nostalgic for the conversations you had and the memories you made with him at your old place, on your old couch. You have to work on new memories now.

He’s facing you on the new couch, eyes closed, slow, steady breaths. The flicker of the tv is hitting his face, making his cheek and the soft brown of his hair glow.

Very slowly, you reach your foot out and touch his.

Seungmin’s eyes open, and he gives you a sleepy smile, “how was dinner?”

“Good.” You sit up and move closer to him, “we should go to bed while you’re still sleepy.”

He groans and shrugs his shoulders.

“We gotta go see the bedroom, remember?” You grab his hand and pull a little, and he immediately gives in.

The bedroom is warm and cozy, like it’s already been lived in. You know Seungmin came in at some point and made it this way; the curtains are pulled, the soft amber lights are clicked on, and one of the candles he brought is lit on the bedside table. Both of the stuffed dogs he brought, and your PuppyM, are already laying on top of the pillows.

The bed is made, but not too made. The blankets are loose and fluffed up, ready to crawl into.

“How does it look?” He sounds a little more awake now.

“It looks perfect, come on.”

He shakes his head, “If we don’t brush our teeth now, we will never get back up to do it.” He smiles and kisses you softly.

“Yeah, you’re right.”

———

The lights are off, the candle is out. Seungmin is facing you in bed.

“Are you awake? Did you lose your sleepy?”

“A little.”

He scoots closer until his arm can drape over you. The bedroom is bigger, and the bed is bigger, too. You’re sharing one side just to be close to each other.

“It will come back soon.”

You set your forehead against his chest and feel it move steadily with each breath. It's quiet for a long time, and now sleep is really escaping you. You should be able to relax like this; you’ve shared a bed with him a few times before, and you haven’t slept as well since. And you’re tired—too tired. Maybe too exhausted for sleep.

You wonder if he’s awake, or if he’s quiet because he thinks you’ve finally drifted off.

You run your hand gently over his arm, waiting for a reaction. At first, he doesn’t make a move or a sound, but when you slide your hand back up, he moves his leg against yours.

“Can’t sleep?” He whispers

“Did I wake you?”

“You didn’t.”

“Then no, I can’t sleep.” You prop yourself up on one arm and look down at him. It’s dark, but you can just make out the details of his face.

He flips onto his back and pulls the covers away. “Are you uncomfortable?” Seungmin asks and places his hand on your cheek. He’s warm, his eyes are warm. His mouth parts slowly and turns into a smile. It’s a tired smile. “New bed.”

“New everything.”

“Except for me.”

Your hand closes around his, then you turn your head to place a kiss on the inside of his wrist. “Thank you for being here. I know you’re on a tight schedule.”

Seungmin pulls you down on top of him. His face is in your neck, kissing playfully and lazily, but the way his hands are exploring you is anything but lazy.

“You’re cold,” he stops, wraps his arms around your waist, and holds you there. “You need to be warmed up.”

You get your hands underneath his shirt, “you’re warm enough for both of us.”

“I can share.”

“Can I ask you something stupid?”

“Yes, I would love that,” he laughs softly and disappears in your neck again.

The stupid question bounces around in your head. His warm lips on you are starting to make your head fuzzy, and you wonder if you should just forget it. But now he’ll get it out of you somehow.

“Will you sing for me?”

He pulls back to look at you. Seungmin’s face lights up. It could light up the entire room. “You want me to sing for you?” If he was sleepy at all before, he’s not now. You’ve managed to wake him the rest of the way with a simple, stupid, request. But it wasn’t stupid at all.

“I always have, it just never seemed like a good time.”

“Right now? Should I sing now? Maybe it’s too quiet, and the walls might not be very thick.”

“In the morning?”

He nods, “yes, I’ll sing for you in the morning. What should I sing?”

“Surprise me.”

“We talked about singing together before, remember?”

“I remember,” you wrap around him and pull the covers back up in an attempt to get him sleepy again. “But I’d rather just hear you.”

☾⋆⁺₊⋆

#kim seungmin #kim seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x you #kim seungmin x y/n #seungmin x reader #seungmin x y/n #seungmin x you #skz seungmin #seungmin smut #seungmin fluff #kim seungmin fluff #kim seungmin smut #skz fluff #skz fanfic #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #stray kids fanfic

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ivysangel · 15 days

Text

I am dead serious when I say that you guys need to start giving writers feedback more often. I have a fic here that has a total of 4015 notes and only 218 aren't likes. So, let me break this down for you a bit.

Of 4015 notes, 186 are reblogs and 32 are comments. Two reblogs, as well as comments, are mine so I'll subtract them from the equation making the total number of notes 4011 (184 rbs, 30 comments, 3,797 likes).

Of the 184 reblogs, 16 are private, meaning they're absolutely useless in spreading and sharing the piece. The remaining 168 consists of 136 reblogs falling under "other reblogs" while only 32 fall under "comments and tags." And of the 32 under "comments and tags," only 9 have something besides a copy of the tags that I included in my initial post.

The 184 reblogs make up 4.6% of the total notes, the reblogs under "comments and tags" make up 0.8% of the total notes, and the reblogs under "comments and tags" with anything besides tags copied from the initial post make up 0.2% of the total notes.

At one point, I reblogged the post, asking if anyone wanted a part two. That's when I got my first comments. The first 6 comments were in response to that, and of the 30 total comments (excluding my own), only two were unrelated to a part two. Which means I can guarantee that I wouldn't have had that many comments had I not posed the question of a sequel fic.

And if I add those 2 comments to the 9 reblogs, I get 0.3% of the total notes on my post that make up the portion of notes that aren't likes, empty reblogs, or comments about a part two. And that's me being generous because two of the reblogs actually do mention a part two.

I also posted a poll asking what people wanted in part two, and that poll got 238 votes. That is 54 people more who voted for what they wanted in a part two that didn't reblog or help push part one.

Don't get me wrong, I love seeing people in my notifs liking my posts, but sometimes it's just not enough. It is utterly exhausting waking up to multiple hundreds of notifications and not seeing a single person compliment your work. You guys will like stuff, follow, and then head straight to the inbox asking for more. I know it's been said a hundred times before, but we are not machines; we do this for free in our spare time.

The post in question was written when I was tired out of my mind, and I ended up not liking it, so I let it sit in my drafts. I briefly mentioned it on my blog and was met with one of my followers showing interest in the idea, which prompted me to revise, edit, and post it. It was a gift, as are all fics and pieces of art by writers and artists on this site, and yet it was treated like a commodity.

When people say it's unmotivating they're not kidding. When I had 100+ asks in my inbox, all of them being requests, I felt like I had the worst case of writers block known to man. I would open my inbox and immediately close it because the idea of posting anything knowing the only response would be more requests, was awful.

When people leave little messages in the tags, full-blown commentary, or kind messages in my inbox referencing posts, I feel more motivated than ever. Those responses are what drives me to write more. But when I, and other writers, are being treated like we're here to cook up whatever fantasisies you have in mind, I can't help but side-eye a little.

We wouldn't write if we didn't enjoy it, but the moment it feels like a job, it becomes that much less enjoyable, and then everybody loses. Just send a kind message to your favorite writers every once in a while. I promise it'll make their day.

I would also like to say that as I've written this, I've seen more people like that post. So, there's that.

#i hope this makes sense #it's 5 am and i haven't slept yet #★ just yappin ★

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leclercinvegas · 1 year

Text

DEBUT - instagram au

who: logan sargeant x reader

author's note: i felt like doing a taylor swift inspired instagram au kind of series where each driver is a different album. this first one was short cause i couldn't find a ton of picture to use

summary: what your instagram feed looks like while dating a f1 rookie

warnings: none

ynusername posted!

liked by logansargeant, landonorris, and 67,049 others

ynusername: he's got a one-hand feel on the steering wheel, the other on my heart

view all 136 comments

ilovef1: she's a swiftie. i love her

logansargeant: who's that handsome fella?

ynusername: idk he's some rando i found wandering the streets

swiftlysargeant: they're actual so cute together.

user23425: the fact that he's in every single one of the pictures is actually adorable. she's so in love.

logansargeant posted!

liked by landonorris, ynusername, and 43,259 others

logansargeant: our song is the way you laugh

view all 119 comments

user43752: she made him a swiftie. this is too much for me to handle.

landonorris: ew

ynusername: ew you

lilymhe: why dont you post me like this @/alex_albon

alex_albon: next question please

ynusername: i love you logs

logansargeant: i love you too sweet girl

| | | hi sorry for the short break. also this was very short hopefully i have the creativity and brain power to make the other ones longer. i probably will but this one is so short cause it was hard to find pictures of him that i could use.

#logan sargeant #logan sargeant imagine #f1 imagine #fanfic #f1 fanfic #formula 1 #formula 1 imagine #formula one #imagines #prompt writing #f1 instagram au #instagram au #logan sargeant x reader #instagram imagine #formula one imagine #taylor swift #taylor swift debut #f1

813 notes · View notes

theemporium · 1 year

Note

Hi can you please write 136 and 131 with Daniel ricciardo from the smut list ? I miss him so muchh 😭

131. “oh don’t mind me I’m just enjoying the view”

136. “don’t cover your face, i want to see you”

The whole world was shocked when Daniel Ricciardo rocked up to the first race of the season with his girl on his arm.

There had been hints and whispers of the Australian being in a relationship, but it had never been confirmed by the driver. He teased and he joked and he would have his fun, but he never gave a definitive answer on the question until now.

The action was bold and proud and so very Daniel, all things considered. He wanted nothing more than to show the world who his girl was. He wanted to scream it to the world—or even to anyone who would just listen.

You, on the other hand, were the opposite of the Australian driver.

He thrived in the spotlight, you preferred hiding off to the side. He always had a bright smile on his face, you were glaring at whatever annoyance was bothering you nearby. He loved to make people laugh, and you truly didn’t care about most of the people around you.

Opposites attract was a phase known by many but they never once expected their sunshine driver to be the one involved with it.

But Daniel loved that about you.

He loved that despite everything you still showed up to race weekends to support him. He loved that you didn’t care what people said and had no issue putting people in their place when PR had his hands tied. He loved that you were so unapologetically you.

And he fucking loved reminding you of such.

“My pretty girl,” he cooed in a low voice, his hands rubbing up and down your thighs as he took in the sight of you.

“Danny,” you whined, your hands reaching to hold him and the boy had no issue in taking one of your hands, intertwining your fingers before pressing a kiss on the back of your hand.

“Shh, patience baby,” he murmured as his eyes glazed over with an emotion you knew all too well. “Gimme a sec.”

Your chest was heaving, soft pants of anticipation escaping your lips. “What are you doing?”

“Oh don’t mind me, I’m just enjoying the view,” Daniel said with a cheesy grin on his face as his gaze caught yours, the same look on his face that he got after he won a race. “Love seeing you like this, all fucked up and desperate for my cock.”

“Shut up,” you grumbled under your breath, moving to pull your hand away from him but the boy held on tight.

“Don’t cover your face, I want to see you,” he hummed as he kneeled on the bed, letting his eyes wander over every inch of naked skin left on display to him, the flushed cheeks and the messy hair.

He had been on a high after the last race weekend, the three wins in a row making him cockier and more arrogant than usual and you weren’t complaining—and definitely not when he had his face between your legs until your body was shaking and withering beneath him.

“Danny, please,” you whined, and it was a little pathetic and if anyone else saw you, they wouldn’t fucking believe it was you. But no one else would see you liked this—nobody but him.

“My pretty girl needs more, hm? Two not enough for you?” he teased, a hint of a mocking tone to his voice and it made you want to clench your thighs together. But before you even think of doing so, both large hands were splayed against your thighs and holding your legs open. “Nuh uh, baby, keep ‘em open for me.”

Your hooded eyes watched as he laid between your legs, arms hooking around your legs to keep you where he wanted you and his lips softly kissing up your thighs.

“You’re in luck, baby,” he murmured, warm breath fanning over your soaking cunt. “Three is my favourite number.”

835 notes · View notes

ohdorothea · 1 month

Text

hoax: a web weave - part one (part two)

1. hoax 2. ME! 3. the 1 4. All Too Well 5. Babe 6. Better Man 7. Paper Rings 8. High Infidelity 9. Maroon 10. Dress 11. right where you left me 12. Maroon 13. cowboy like me 14. Hits Different 15. King of My Heart 16. willow 17. Tell Me Why 18. Teardrops On My Guitar 19. I’m Only Me When I’m With You 20. illicit affairs 21. ‘tis the damn season 22. hoax 23. Getaway Car 24. Look What You Made Me 25. Call It What You Want 26. Look What You Made Me Do Music Video 27. Tell Me Why 28. Daylight 29. The Archer 30. Run 31. Better Man 32. Slut! 33. Say Don’t Go 34. Foolish One 35. I Don’t Wanna Live Forever 36. cardigan 37. Tell Me Why 38. hoax 39. Forever Winter 40. Style Music Video 41. It’s Nice To Have a Friend 42. This Love 43. Out of the Woods 44. Hits Different 45. coney island 46. Anti-Hero 47. ME! Music Video 48. The Archer 49. Haunted 50. ivy

51. hoax 52. right where you left me 53. this is me trying 54. Nothing New 55. The Way I Loved You 56. King of My Heart 57. evermore 58. coney island 59. Hits Different 60. exile 61. champagne problems 62. All Too Well 63. betty 64. hoax 65. Death By A Thousand Cuts 66. willow 67. So It Goes… 68. Cruel Summer 69. Tell Me Why 70. Bad Blood 71. Say Don’t Go 72. closure 73. long story short 74. High Infidelity 75. Daylight 76. tolerate it 77. Death By a Thousand Cuts 78. hoax 79. Daylight 80. The Archer 81. I Bet You Think About Me 82. 22 83. Treacherous 84. Wonderland 85. Better Man 86. Message In A Bottle 87. hoax 88. Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve 89. Change 90. ivy 91. Getaway Car 92. State of Grace 93. Maroon 94. The Great War 95. The Story of Us 96. Cornelia Street 97. Wonderland 98. Anti-Hero 99. So It Goes… 100. Dear Reader

101. False God 102. Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince 103. Afterglow 104. evermore 105. my tears ricochet 106. hoax 107. Holy Ground 108. ivy 109. Dancing With Our Hands 110. Look What You Made Me Do111. Wonderland 112. right where you left me 113. Tell Me Why 114. mad woman 115. the lakes 116. The Great War 117. Cold As You 118. I Knew You Were Trouble 119. hoax 120. long story short 121. Don’t Blame Me 122. this is me trying 123. Red 124. Jump Then Fall 125. seven 126. This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things 127. gold rush 128. the last great american dynasty 129. hoax Lyric Video 130. the lakes 131. hoax 132. Is It Over Now? 133. Clean 134. Teardrops On My Guitar 135. Wonderland 136. seven 137. The Outside 138. Tell Me Why 139. illicit affairs 140. Come In With The Rain 141. Dancing With Our Hands Tied 142. Cornelia Street 143. champagne problems 144. The Other Side of the Door 145. Getaway Car 146. champagne problems 147. cardigan Music Video 148. Cruel Summer 149. hoax 150. If You’re Anything Like Me poem

151. mirrorball 152. White Horse 153. False God 154. I Knew You Were Trouble 155. Cornelia Street 156. False God 157. Love Story 158. Style 159. ivy 160. End Game 161. cowboy like me 162. White Horse 163. Ours 164. The Great War 165. False God 166. ivy 167. How You Get The Girl 168. coney island 169. Hits Different 170. Innocent 171. Look What You Made Me Do 172. You’re On Your Own, Kid 173. It’s Nice To Have a Friend 174. White Horse 175. Don’t Blame Me 176. betty 177. hoax 178. …Ready For It? Music Video 179. Hits Different 180. Forever Winter 181. All Too Well (10 Minute Version) 182. Everything Has Changed 183. Dress 184. Cruel Summer 185. Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince 186. Paper Rings 187. Afterglow 188. The Archer 189. Lover 190. Dear John 191. State of Grace 192. Starlight 193. hoax 194. Bejewelled 195. Question…? 196. peace 197. Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince 198. Forever and Always 199. Say Don’t Go 200. Hits Different 201. Bigger Than The Whole Sky 202. Wonderland 203. Lover Music Video

#Taylor swift #web weave #Kelly makes stuff #I hope the citations are easier to navigate now!!!!!!#also thank you to the people who voted/commented on the poll however it turned out to be too big to put in one post anyway!!!!

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little-diable · 5 months

Text

I own you - Tom Riddle (smut)

Thought I'd switch up the pairing this time. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: (Y/n) is a female priest working for Tom's local church. He visits her every Friday afternoon, confessing to his darkest secrets, but today he shares something else, something that forces her to follow his every command. Pwp basically

Warnings: 18+, unprotected piv, sex in a church, choking, degrading, Tom being Tom, dubcon, oral (m), religious connotations, this is filthy

Pairing: Tom Riddle x fem!priest!reader (1.8k words)

“Sit.” She patted the spot next to her, watching the young man move with grace, the amount of grace no other man in his early twenties managed to emanate. For a few seconds neither of them spoke, with their eyes focused on the altar, with their hands interlaced, and with their hearts comfortably beating on. “Have you ever wondered how much strength Jesus had needed to carry the cross?”

“No, but can we really know the answer to that?” Tom’s rough voice echoed through the church, a sound so biting, the young female priest had to avert her gaze, letting her eyes wander over his features. His piercing eyes didn’t meet hers, deep in thought, either pondering over her questions or over the dark thoughts he’d confess to every single Friday afternoon.

“John, Matthew, Mark, and Luke tell us about the wood that has been used for the cross, the cross itself must have been around 136 kilograms heavy.” A hum left the man, eyes finally meeting her curious ones, momentarily drawn into the comfortable silence that managed to wrap the two in its protecting veil.

“Why are you telling me this?” His eyes dropped down to the white collar she wore around her neck, a spot he’d dream of whenever he got the chance to, wondering how it must feel to wrap his fingers around her neck, holding her close as he fucks her in the confessional. Ever since the young woman had joined his local church, taking over the work of the former elderly priest, Tom had been stuck in sinful thoughts, thoughts that distracted the young man from his plans, from the steps he’d have to take to succeed with his mission.

“We all have our burdens to carry, Tom. And yet we shouldn’t be afraid to ask for help, no matter how heavy our weight may feel. I want you to remember that for today’s confession.” She rose to her feet, left the man behind as she stepped into the confessional. It took him about a minute to follow her, sinking down on the wooden bench, thoughts still focused on the things he wanted to do to her. Tom was set on breaking her, Tom was set on blemishing her pure soul. He’d make a trade with the devil, he’d sacrifice her soul, for his own purposes.

The two spoke their first prayer, fingers interlaced, eyes closed. And then Tom started speaking, though this time he wasn’t speaking about his fantasies, of the way he wanted to hurt those around him, set on gaining more and more power. No, today he spoke of the things he saw whenever he needed a distraction, of the way he touched himself to the thought of her.

“Tom,” it was nothing more than a whisper, a silent warning the young man chose to ignore. His lips were pulled into a devilish smirk, eyes finding hers through the wooden window. (Y/n)’s pupils were dilated, struggling against the hold he had on her body and soul, wanting to escape from the trap he had forced her into.

“Tell me, (y/n), have you sinned the same way I have? Did you fuck yourself to the thought of me, the same way I fuck my hand with my mind painting your naked body for me?” His voice dropped even lower, a sound so bone chilling (y/n) found herself gasping. Her mouth was dry, heart about to rip itself out of her chest with the fast beat that only kept on growing faster. All (y/n) could do was watch him leave his side of the confessional, only to step into her small space.

His cold hand found her throat, thumb forced into her mouth before she could even begin to understand what the man was about to do to her. Tom stared down on her like Lucifer, like a demon so powerful, she could only give in, falling to her knees like a sinner made to worship the darkness itself.

“Your eyes deceive you, (y/n). I see the way you look at me, I feel the lust thumping through your veins. You want me, no matter what He may tell you, you’re too far gone. You’re already mine, and I won’t let you escape.” Tom forced her to her knees, pulled to the cold ground with the hand he still had wrapped around her throat. She couldn’t push herself away, no matter how loud her mind screamed at her to rip herself free, her body was too curious, needing to be touched by the man. It had been years since she had last done something like this, years of chastity she was now throwing away as if they had meant nothing.

He freed his hardening cock with quick movements, exposing his pale skin to her wide eyes. (Y/n) choked on his name, wondering how far he’d take it, tainting a holy place like this. But Tom didn’t seem to care about their surroundings, all he was focused on was forcing his cock down her throat, instantly drawing tears to her eyes. She was fighting an already lost battle, there was no way back for her, all she’d be able to do was beg for forgiveness tonight.

“C’mon, I know you know how to use that mouth of yours, don’t disappoint me.” The hand finding her hair forced her head to move, set on a bobbing motion that drew moans from the tall man. His cock grazed the back of her throat with every movement, leaving her to choke around him. (Y/n)’s hands clung to his thighs, trying to keep herself balanced, trying to forget about the coldness pressing against her knees, trying to forget about the holy promise she had just broken.

And yet, no matter how much she tried to hate what Tom was doing to her, she couldn’t help but enjoy it, eyes unable to flutter close, watching the lustful expression tug on his handsome features. Something inside of her wanted to make him proud, wanted to prove her worth to him as if he was God himself, deciding over the path of her eternal afterlife, deciding whether or not she’d be able to pass the pearly gates.

“Fuck, atta girl. I knew you were nothing but a cockhungry slut, a whore hiding behind the cross dangling from your neck.” His degrading words left her groaning, walls clenching around nothing, desperate to be filled by him. Tom seemed to pick up on the desperation she felt, letting go of a dark chuckle before he forced her off his cock and back to her trembling feet. (Y/n) found her front pressed against the wooden window, letting the man pull her black trousers down her legs, soaked through panties following moments later. “I bet you’re fucking tight, huh? I bet you didn’t let any other man touch you, you knew that you were mine from the first time you saw me.”

(Y/n) couldn’t stop her moan from leaving her, teeth drawing blood from her lower lip as he plunged two fingers into her tightness. Her mind was racing, heart pounding in her chest, making blood sing in her ears. All she could focus on was his touch, the way he had sneaked his right arm around her waist, touching her just the way she needed him to.

“Speak when you’re asked too, or are you already too far gone to remember how to speak?” He moved quickly, pulling his fingers from her heat to replace them with his cock. She felt tight around him, walls struggling to adjust around him – something Tom didn’t pay any attention to, set on a brutal pace.

“I, fuck,” (y/n)’s eyes fluttered close, struggling to find her words as Tom kept fucking her from behind. “Only you, nobody else, I swear.”

The satisfied hum that left Tom forced another moan from her, a sound stuck in her throat as he began to choke her once again. A silent prayer left (y/n), hoping that He would forgive her for every sin she was committing just now, but she couldn’t care about ending up in the fiery flames, all she could focus on was her lack of air and her quickly arising orgasm.

His name left her, a sound so quiet, Tom barely picked up on it. With his lips finding the back of her neck, he pulled her even closer. He scraped his teeth along her skin, marking her in more than just one way, leaving marks that will remind her about what was just happening for days on end.

With every ferocious thrust their bodies met, a sound so sinful even the demons below had to look away, hiding their warm cheeks. A sight so sinful, Tom found himself growing more and more excited, this was only just the beginning, he was sure of it, already thinking of all the other things he could do to her.

“Beg for it, I won’t let you cum otherwise.” A sob left (y/n), unable to reply, unable to beg for the release she needed like the wine and bread she ached for at every service. Tears ran down her cheeks, salty tears reminding her of the salty ocean Noah’s ark had sailed through, finding new hope as the world around him began to die.

“Tom,” she struggled to properly pronounce her words, fingernails scratching at the wood she was pressed against. He began to loosen his grip around her throat, giving her some more air to cling to. “I need it, need it so badly. Please, oh God, please.”

His cock nudged her sweet spot with every perfectly calculated thrust, making her almost black out from the unfamiliar waves of pleasure trying to drown her. Another “Please” left her before Tom finally spat out a rough “Cum”, pushing her over the edge. Loud moans clawed through her as (y/n) came on his cock, feeling him twitch inside of her.

Tom fucked her for a few more moments before he pulled out of her, forcing her back down to her knees, once again exposing her tongue to him. He came on her face, making her swallow every salty drop he offered to her, leaving stains reminding one of a pearly rosary.

“You may pray for forgiveness, but let me tell you something, priest. You’re mine, no longer His. No longer do you answer His calls, only mine.”

#Tom Riddle smut #Tom Riddle imagine #priest fic #Harry Potter smut

298 notes · View notes

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