#Probably will delete this
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me still liking tellajacks/jackstella in 2024, but the only thing is not having people to talk to about them. 🥲
i still like the canon pairings, but to me, shipping is meant to be fun!
#tellajacks#jackstella#probably will delete this#but just wanted to type out my thoughts#maybe it's because this fanbase is small compared to the many others i've been in#but i just want to have fun shipping tellajacks without the judgement from the fanbase#because the hate is so strong#i even like legendjacks and jackschaos#LOL
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doctor’s appointment was basically useless, because i needed to be scheduled for another test that’s two months out (i guess because the complexity they’re very limited on times/days they can do them and the health care system lol) and i’m feeling pretty defeated about it. 👍🏻
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sky lady late night rambles 🌙🥰
stayed up too late working on a crochet order for my small business
(Yes, I finally did it ! just starting out)
& at the same time, I was also on the phone with my boyfriend (he was telling me gossip from trivia night & funny stories about friends)
so we both got off the phone quickly because I didn't realize what time it was & I think he said real fast "go, go to sleeps, night night, love you, goodnight" so I said it back "ok, talk to you tomorrow, love you goodnight"
then the phone call cut off, so I wasn't sure if he heard me 😬 I was so scared !
but he did ! he heard me & texted me right after "love you too" 🥰
It made me so giggly & happy right before bed.
I'm so glad we finally feel comfortable saying it to each other & now he's been saying it more often without being afraid to express his feelings. 💐❤️
over the weekend, we were talking & he was holding me after I was confiding in him about struggling a bit & he just said "I love you, everything is ok, I'm sorry I didn't say it when I should have."
It meant so much because I was so worried he didn't feel the same. That was my biggest wish for him to love me back.
Sat will be our 1 year anniversary. 💌
I can't believe we've seen 4 seasons together, shared so many special moments & made a lot of loving memories.
June 2022, he was just "baseball guy ⚾️" here on the blog ! I saw him for the first time & didn't even know his name.
Dec 2022, he was "grumpy bb", & at first I thought that he couldn't stand me at all !
Jan 20th 2023, with a funny nudge from my best friend AR, we talked for the first time & hit it off immediately.
Jan 21st 2023, my phone broke & I had no way of contacting him. we were supposed to hang out on this day, so I went to the bar in person to wait for him. our best friend, "JJ"wrote his number down on my receipt for me, which I still have & carry with me in my purse wherever I go. The entire thing is faded except for his number & the date on the bottom.
Jan 29th 2023, we went for a walk in the cold winter & bonded over loving the movie "March of the Wooden Soldiers". We shared our first kiss, & my silly friends witnessed the whole thing. It was hysterical & wonderful at the same time.
Feb 2023, I gave him a special keychain of a plane that has meaning for us. Months later, he gave me a little blue pin with a plane on it, too.
Fast Forward >>> to Now 💫
We're pretty much inseparable. Sure, we've had our ups & downs, stupid fights & misunderstandings. No one said this would be easy or perfect. But I feel like we are it for each other & I wouldn't have it any other way.
Jan 2024, he's my best friend, the love of my life. I feel like the universe led us to one another when we needed each other more than ever.
❄️💙
#falling for b 💌#pxk late night things#sky lady talks#personal#feel free to ignore#probably will delete this
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I don't really miss him, but I haven't received a single message today, so I'm just trying to convince myself that I matter. I mean, a message that asked/cared about me. Fuck, who I am trying to fool? I received 2 messages today. 3 sentences lol. So yeah, I say I miss him because if he knew I exist he wouldn't let me feel this way, at least I hope he wouldn't. He wouldn't, would he? I would matter, wouldn't I? Would I matter? I have to keep lying to myself about these because then maybe I can contribute living, just so I don't hurt those who again today haven't asked how I am, haven't sent me anything, not even a hello. But yes, if I didn’t wake up the next day they would cry and I would be the bad guy who gave up, who had everything; friends and whatnot, but did I even have anything when at the end of the day I didn't get a single sentence about me and/or my well being?
#i think i’m having an episode rn#bpd shit#his smile still comforts me#min yoongi#bpd fp#bpd vent#mysugabubu#might delete later#probably will delete this
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Listen, Haim posting a Karma tiktok.... after hanging with Taylor... either I have had to much wine or Little Joey done cheated.
I'm sorry Joe was present and there for her during the media/Kimye spun villian arc.... but so we're these bishes. I think they might be a little protective of someone hurting her again. Just my thoughts, back to wine.
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Do you ever feel yourself become your friends’ cautionary tale. Like they all hit the same mile markers at the same time and you just…didn’t. And like going out has even become sad cuz your trauma has made you feel like you don’t count as a person anymore, damaging your ability to really, deeply connect with people in the way that you need to not feel lonely. And you pass all these warm, inviting houses as you’re driving and all these smiling people and know that they love and are loved and have done great things with their lives and their existence has meaning and you don’t know if you’ll ever get there.
#shitpost#in my feels#probably will delete this#cptsd#just cptsd things#living with cptsd#lymphoma#fuck cancer
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My toxic trait is I can't settle in to write fics until after sundown, when the whole house is quiet and I can snuggle down in bed with no distractions. 1 idea, 100 ideas!! Should it be my character, or reader's pov? Ohh, I should research that one, insignificant detail I had in mind! Oh, there's an article, ohh a YouTube series for accuracy! Wait, where was I? Oh, right, is this period accurate slang... oh, wait, I fell asleep for 22 hours and now it's too 'people-y' to focus.
...so, anyway.
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My toxic trait is that I'm not going to be able to sit through the super fan trivia because I know inside that I am better™ and righter™ than all of them. They may get all the questions correct, but I will get them more correct. They may love the show, but I will love it more. You ship Byler? How cute. I ship it better. I am the best, biggest, super fan and I accept nothing else.
I should be the one up there, flexing my knowledge, and I am too bitter and resentful to accept the fact that other people might also know stuff about Stranger Things. I will always know the most. Stranger Things is a niche underground show that needs to be gatekept from everyone except me and my mutuals (who will never understand it like me) and I will not accept anything else.
#this is so evil i dont mean it#im just bitter#probably will delete this#byler#stranger things#stranger things day
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Maybe one of these days, I’ll get up the courage to message you and ask for your address to write you or your phone number to call you. Maybe one day, before it’s too late, when something drags me 600 miles and we’re in the same city again, I’ll bring myself to ask if you want to meet up. So I can look you in the eye for the first time in 20 years and finally ask: why? Why did you do it? Of all the things you could have done sooner had it not been for me, why did you put yourself through all that? More importantly, do you still think I was worth it? Are you proud of who I am? Do you want to know me as much as I’m starting to want to know you? And if you do, are you just going to end up disappointed?
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Okay. I am just going to put this out there. Full disclosure: I have had some drinks.
In this turbulent time, when women are under attack, our rights are discarded, our wants and needs made irrelevant by LAW, we need, more than ever, a source of joy.
We need…
A figure who loves and celebrates women. Who lives for a woman’s pleasure. Who supports a woman’s decisions. Who willingly subjects themselves to objectification purely for female enjoyment.
We need Gambit back.
Immediately.
To rob us of of his presence is simply…anti-feminist.
Do you hear me, Ms. Howard? I am calling on you to restore justice. If your goal is to bring Gambit back changed, it better be with a fucking eight-pack and a bare ass.
The ONLY benefit to being a woman is the ability to shamelessly and joyfully and playfully objectify men. Oh, boohoo, men don’t get to scream “show me dem tiddies!” in public and women can! Whaaaagh! SO UNFAIR.
Yes, it is a double standard. Men cannot openly objectify women in a socially acceptable way (right now, anyway). Women can gawp at male bodies and totally get away with it (for now).
If you object to this, I will gladly give up my ability to scream: “whooooo zaddy yeah take it off!” at any man. In exchange I would like full rights to my body, medical decisions, and equal pay.
Also BRING BACK GAMBIT NOW HOT DAMMIT!!!
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Do y’all ever just do things and think like
“Jam [name] don’t do that” or something like that but it’s like a different person in your brain saying it but like it’s still you?
Like logic person and emotions (?) I guess person- like it’s all me but like thinking about how my brain works confuses my brain
I know it’s probably just my concince or something but tbh I’m very sleep deprived rn haha so asking silly questions to the void of tumblr
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lately, i’ve had such a love/hate relationship with nancy wheeler and it’s taken me a hot minute to figure out why that is.
originally, i absolutely adored her in season one. she was the embodiment of the “final girl syndrome.” but she was also sweet and kind and even a little bit naive. she wanted to be popular and go to parties, even if her best friend felt uncomfortable. but she also cared about her grades and when it came down to it, she never backed down from doing the right thing. even if that meant telling the cops about the beer they’d drank the night barb went missing.
in the first season, she had her own complete character arc. sure, she had love interests, but her main focus was on getting barb back and finding will. however, in season two is when i started to have a hard time with her character. i’ve seen a lot of people say that she became cold and jaded, though i don’t really think that’s the case. nancy’s main character arc in season two is learning to accept herself and dealing with grief. honestly, what i wasn’t a fan of, was how the narrative treated her like something to be won over. because this season is when her story starts to blend in with jonathan’s. and don’t get me wrong, i actually really like how they did jancy at first. but that issue doesn’t really start until season three. though for the remainder of this season, nancy is treated as somewhat of a “bad guy.” and the reason for that is because the writers want us to see steve in a good light. they want him to change and have good development and he did, his arc is one of my favorites i’ve ever seen play out. but this causes the narrative and essentially the way we view nancy to change, as it begins to favor the males around her.
this is extremely obvious in season three. where nancy is insensitive to jonathan about their class differences and at times, borderline ungrateful for what she has. it’s a mix between the writers trying to have her come off across as headstrong and accidentally making her seem like an unfeeling, privileged, “girlboss” so to say. and therein lies almost all the problems, the duffers have said themselves that they had intended to end the show after season one. and because of this, they had to add onto finished storylines. and the characters became less genuine because of this. making them seem two dimensional or even flat. during season three is when they all begin to have unshakable roles assigned to them. and nancy’s becomes the problem solver and the stubborn, always right, feminist, “girlboss.” and the thing that a lot of people have a hard time with, is realizing that women can be strong and badass and also still be wrong and fragile. it’s a common trend in a lot of media these days, though it’s gotten better.
and thinking back on how she was in season one compared to season four, i’ve figured out why i didn’t seem to care about her as much as i did max and robin. and that’s because the story allows them to breathe. it allows them to be messy and uncertain and to fuck up. it allows them to be something other than what the audience perceives them as. whereas, the duffers can’t seem to throw anything else at nancy other than relationship problems or her trauma and guilt over barb. instead of letting her have funny one liners and interact with her family. the best part about having her away from jonathan this season was her friendship with robin. but without that, honestly, her part in season four had gotten boring. and that is the root of my problem with her. it has nothing to do with her actual character traits and everything to do with the inconsistent writing.
this might be somewhat controversial. but i’ve read a lot of things about people hating nancy lately and it’s making me kind of sad.
#nancy wheeler#stranger things#jonathan byers#steve harrington#barbara holland#robin buckley#max mayfield#mike wheeler#karen wheeler#holly wheeler#i love her don’t get me wrong#i just miss season one nancy#this is a mess of a post#my first and only hot take#lmao#probably will delete this
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Feeling insecure about my writing again :///
#[ out of cats : ]#I literally hate it and it makes me just question my value as a role player cries#probably will delete this
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ok i know why this happens but being trans/gnc and being the only person in a room to be publicly asked my pronouns. Kinda sucks? Like I get they have good intentions and why they only ask me but idk. being put on the spot and forced to either out myself to a room full of strangers or be misgendered sucks.
#idk. i get people arent being malicious but like#being othered for being visibly queer doesnt fucking help me. lol.#jupiter rambles#probably will delete this
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I'm gonna go on a little bit of an off-ish topic rant about So Weird for a second and do my best to keep this mostly positive (this blog is about old DCOMs so I'm going to say this is still on-topic, feel free to filter the tag "so weird" if this is outside realms of interest). I will also offer the caveat that I only watched the first two seasons and only ever intend to do so
One thing I actually enjoyed about this series (besides the fact that it was willing to engage with actual grieving and long-term effects of that on family dynamics) is that it was super casual about showing physical platonic affection
The main characters are all kind of a big family (I pitched it to my friend as "the X Files but instead of feds it's a 90s alt rock sort-of-throuple dealing with their blended teenager sibling group's shenanigans"
For the record I use the term "throuple" mostly for humorous brevity - I don't read Molly as having any actual romantic or sexual subtext with the Bells, but I would say they all kind of co-parent together to some extent or another
Platonic affection isn't presented as an uncommon thing between parents and kids, or between siblings/pseudo-siblings, and is casually shown in the series (I think it was the first or second episode that had Clu sleeping on the bus's couch, head on his mom's lap with her just stroking his hair, and this character's like 17 or 18)
I would even say that if you had to pick a single character relationship that the series is About, it's Jack and Fi's sibling bond and navigating that through the lens of having different responses to their father's death (the Mulder/Scully dynamic they have is sort of a whimsical translation of that). I think there's a reason that perhaps the scariest moment in the series is where the Will o' the Wisp is threatening to turn their relationship against them to trap Jack's soul forever, and the way he's defeated is essentially because he doesn't understand the love they have for each other even (or especially) under the ways they conflict with each other
Just in general siblings/parents hugging or casually sitting cuddled together is pretty regular. Maybe the characters are supposed to be just super comfortable being close with each other from sharing enclosed space so much, as 6 mostly adult-sized people literally living on a tour bus together, but it's nice to see
Which leads me to the topic of Carey's relationship with Molly once he replaces Clu in season 2 - I have seen some fans want to read some sort of subtext in there but honestly I find that incredibly uncomfortable. If anything he's just kind of reaching out to a close adult family friend he can come to about his struggles/music aspirations/etc outside his biological parents, and yeah because he's a hot guy in his 20s it reads a little differently than the younger teens, but I don't personally see any plus into reading that as having some kind of romantic/sexual tension
like we see expressly in the flashback scenes that Molly has been kind of a third parent-figure (and I use that intentionally openly; locking parental roles into a strict binary of "the mom" and "the dad" isn't what we're about here) in his life growing up, so shipping or semi-shipping that is extremely unpleasant and strange in my opinion
Same with shipping Clu with either Jack or Fi, or (I have seen it and it's rather repulsive) Jack and Fi together, it feels like a fundamental misunderstanding of the character dynamic
going to comment on fandom in general though, I notice sibling incest ships tend to arise in situations where actors have a lot of chemistry, and writers are channeling that into their family dynamic but it means that love interests feel kind of flat by comparison - it's sort of another side of the same fandom-discourse dodecahedron which posits m/m ships get popular because male characters tend to be written with more dimension than female ones, which gives fans more to be interested in and read into and simply enjoy as narrative devices. You engage more easily with a story and its parts when there's simply more to work with
Shipping as a primary means to engage with media is a thing, I get that, so like do what you want, thought crime isn't a thing and characters aren't real people etc etc etc. However, reading a positive portrayal of (often interestingly non-traditional) family affection as somehow sexual I think fundamentally misses key points of the whole story. The fact that there aren't really any obviously shippable characters in the main cast isn't a bad thing
mumbled aside about the moderate amount of frustration I have with the other fandom I write for where for some reason people feel the need to pair up the entire cast in some combination or another but not going to get into that here
Anyway I am not trying to start fandom discourse in a microscopic old fandom like this; I more meant this to positively comment on how open the series is with letting family members show affection and to give my two cents to the void on the Carey & Molly subtext interpretations
#so weird#disney channel#don't mind me I'm expressing Opinions on the internet#probably will delete this#incest mention
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Transcribing audio where people keep saying rhinoceros instead of renaissance. It’s gonna be a loooooooong day 😶
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