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Eighteen | All Summer Long

TW: Alcohol, Mentions of Binge Drinking

Chapter Song: Wonder - Shawn Mendes

≫ Everly - Monday, June 13, 2016 ≪

We were miserable. We were walking a very fine line between still drunk and hungover. Luckily, it wasn't just us, everyone gathered in the lobby waiting for the buses to take us to the airport looked to be in the same shape as Sid and I. Well, almost everyone.

"So," Beau began loudly, seemingly popping up out of nowhere. "What time should we be around tonight?" He asked, looking between Sidney and me.

I looked up to Sidney who wore dark sunglasses over his eyes, even as we stood in the hotel lobby. "I don't know, we won't even be back in Pittsburgh until," He looked down to the watch on his wrist. "after two o'clock."

Beau looked to me, clearly not happy with Sidney's inability to answer his question. "What tim-"

"Are you always this loud?" I asked, interrupting him. Beau's girlfriend, Georgeann, who looked to be as miserable as the rest of us, and Sidney both stifled their laughter. "How are you not miserably hungover like everyone else, anyway?"

Beau's head lulled to the side, looking at me as if I was an idiot for asking him such a question. "Olli, Justin, and I did shots when we got up this morning,"

Genius. I looked up to Sidney. "Why did we not think of that?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "We didn't have anything left to drink,"

"Lack of planning," Beau noted, pointing finger guns at us. "So, what time?"

I groaned. Since the beginning of the playoffs, I have been planning a massive pool party for the team and their partners to celebrate the cup win. Luckily, I did all of the planning, shopping, cleaning, and decorating before I left for San Jose, but right now, the last thing I want to do is throw a party. I haven't been this hungover since Sochi. "Um, let's just say 5:30. That'll give everyone to get home, relax for a while, and then come 'round for supper."

"You say relax, I say pregame,"

I tilted my head. "Beau, are you going to drink all day?"

"Evergreen," He began, calling me by one of his many nicknames for me. "I'm going to drink all summer."

Sidney and I flew separately, as did the rest of the team and their families. Of the two planes the Penguins chartered for the family of the team, I was fortunate enough to be on one with an abundance of alcohol. Maureen, Kuni's wife, popped open three bottles of champagne which we passed around the plane to those old enough to drink, not even worrying about individual glasses. When we touched down in Pittsburgh, nearly everyone on the jet was tipsy enough to have to hold onto both handrails of the jet's airstairs as we deplaned. However, it seemed as the passengers on the other jet enjoyed their time in the air as much as we did. Hell, even the coaches seemed to teeter off of the team's plane.

The team's jet was the last to arrive and deplane, leaving Sidney's family and me to wait for him on the tarmac. The concrete beneath us was quickly heating up and began to mix with the heat from the alcohol coursing through my body, causing me to begin to sweat. I smiled, the long, hot days of summer are only a few days away and today's temperature is a clear reminder of that. I was ready to celebrate this win all summer long.

"Ow! Ow!" I exclaimed as Sidney drew closer. Trina, Troy, and Taylor all began to clap and cheer loudly, causing Sidney to blush and the others around us to start laughing. "That's my MVP!"

He shook his head as he came to a stop in front of us. He hugged his parents and then his sister. "You're a mess," He spoke, teasingly, before leaning down to place a kiss on my lips.

I nodded, agreeing with him. I grabbed for the dress bag he had in his fingers, taking it from him and slinging it over my shoulder. "Ready?"

He nodded. "We'll see you tomorrow for dinner?" Sidney asked, looking to his parents for an answer.

"We'll be there!" Trina sang, pulling him in for one last hug. "Have fun tonight, you two,"

I hugged the three of them before we went our separate ways, them to their rental car to stay at my condo for the evening, and Sid and I to his car, to head back to his home in Sewickley.

The car ride felt exceptionally long, traffic from the airport was terrible, and we were itching to get home and get out of our airplane clothes and into our swimsuits to enjoy the evening by the pool with the team. Once we were finally home, we all but raced up the stairs to the same shower.

"Care to join?" Sidney asked, dropping his pants onto the floor, his belt clattering against the cool tile.

I laughed at him but began to strip down to nothing as well. I stepped in behind him, not hesitating to wrap my arms around his waist. He relaxed into me, his shoulders dropping the tension he had been carrying around since December.

"I've missed you," I mumbled into his damp skin.

He sighed contently. "I've missed you, Everly Grace,"

"It feels like I haven't seen you since May,"

Sidney spun around, now taking me into his arms. "I'm sorry, Ev. I just get tunnel vision during playoffs, you know? I just get so wrapped up in the need to win that I forget about what matters the most," He paused to grab my face in his wet hands, directing my eyes up to his. "You."

I swatted his hands away from my face so that I could wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him into me. "Hey," I began softly. "Don't apologize for the schedule that you had no control over. You're here now and you're a two time Stanley Cup champion. That's what's matters. All of that work paid off, you have something to show for it."

He smiled before leaning down to kiss me. "Wouldn't have been possible without you,"

I laughed, pulling away from him and stepping into the warm water, grabbing my loofah from it's resting place. "Me?"

"Yeah, you,"

I hesitated, watching Sidney as he grabbed the pink loofah from my hand and began to run it down my arms and then across my chest. "What did I do?" I questioned, closing my eyes and relaxing into his touch. He seemed to be washing away the stress that I had been unknowingly carrying around, likely as long as he had.

"You were in my corner," He spoke softly.

"Hmm," I hummed. "It's the least I can do,"

"You took care of the house, entertained my family while I was out of town or busy, all while working on stuff for the foundation, and still carrying on with your own life. You've taken a lot off of my plate and put it on your own, no questions asked." I tilted my head back, soaking my hair.

"As I said, it's the leas-"

"Thank you," I opened my eyes to reach for my bottle of shampoo.

"I'll always be in your corner, Sid," I assured him after a few moments of silence.

"That's why I'm marrying you,"

"Still trying to figure out my motive," I teased, before gazing down. "Nevermind, I figured it out."

He threw his head back, laughing loudly as he jokingly attempted to cover himself. "Quit objectifying me!" He teased, pushing the bottle of conditioner into my hand. "And finish washing your hair before the water runs cold,"

I watched as he scrambled out of the shower, laughing when he nearly fell. "Hate to see you go, but love to watch you leave, Sid!"

"Don't start anything. I'm still tired from last night," He replied, speaking loudly to be heard over the running water and the rustles of him dropping his towel and pulling on his underwear.

I washed the conditioner out of my hair and turned the water off before stepping out of the shower and taking the white towel from Sidney's outstretched hand. "You were on your game last night,"

"I know," He boasted. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Settle down," I teased, walking out of the bathroom to get dressed, leaving him to shave away his playoff beard that I had come to love. "You know, I don't hate the beard," I confessed as I shimmied into my bathing suit, threw a pair of shorts and a t-shirt on, and walked back into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

"You could have told me that before I shaved half my face,"

I giggled. "Sorry, bub,"

I finished brushing my teeth and collected both of our discarded towels from the bathroom floor, depositing them into the laundry basket hidden in Sidney's closet. I popped my head back into the bathroom to see Sidney still messing with his hair, having yet to put his swimming trunks on.

"C'mon, pretty boy," I began, using the nickname that my sister and Mel had given him, one that both Sidney and I had only recently come to learn about, causing Sidney to roll his eyes. "Olli will be here any minute with the ice and we still have to get all of this food on the grill,"

Sidney groaned loudly as he ran his hands through his hair, spiking it up in about 14 different directions. "This is as good as it's gonna get, I'm afraid." He laughed, flicking the bathroom light off and walking toward the dresser to retrieve his swimming trunks.

"You look handsome as ever," I complimented mindlessly before heading toward the bedroom door to head downstairs to begin preparing dinner.

"Ev?" Sid called out to me, stopping me in the doorframe. I turned to look at him. He had the top drawer of the dresser open, one hand hidden in the pile of socks, and a look I hadn't seen before written across his flushed face.

"They're not in that drawer, they're in the bottom draw-"

"I know where my trunks are," He interjected, turning now to face me directly. However, as he pulled his hand from the sock drawer, a blue object that not previously been in his hand caught my eye.

"What's that?" I asked, pointing to the blue box in his hand.

Without answering my question, he stepped toward me, clad only in his boxer-briefs, and grabbed my left hand in his right. "Everly Grace,"

I gasped, throwing my right hand over my mouth, now catching onto what he was doing. Tears sprung to my eyes almost immediately. And as I looked into his eyes, I noticed that his eyes looked a bit glassy too.

"When I met you, I knew I had met my match. You've challenged me, and encouraged me, and lit a fire within me, one that I hadn't known existed. You are the strongest, smartest, funniest, most beautiful, most caring, most loving woman I have ever met, and even that is the tip of the iceberg." I giggled lightly, squeezing his hand tightly in my own. "I know, in my heart, even after this short time together, that you are the person I am supposed to spend the rest of my life with. I've known since day one. So," Without ever letting go of my hand, Sidney bent down onto one knee and with his other hand, he held the box out to me, flicking it open with his fingers with ease, as if he had been practicing the action for weeks. "Everly Grace Cassius, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Breathlessly, I answered. "Yes, of course! A thousand times, yes," Without once looking at the ring in his hand, I tackled Sidney in a hug, causing both of us to fall onto the carpeted floor.

"Ow!"

"I love you," I beamed, taking his face into my hands before kissing him.

Sidney laughed as we kissed, causing our teeth to clank against one another's. "I love you more, Evy,"

I shook my head, hitting him in the face with the hair that had fallen loose from my bun when I tackled him. "Impossible,"

"Where do you want these?" Olli asked, shuffling across the threshold with three bags of ice in his arms.

I stepped out of his way, leading the way to the kitchen. "Just set them down on the counter," I replied, taking one bag of ice from him and setting it down on the marble. "Thank you for getting the ice, Ols, it totally slipped my mind,"

Olli shook his head as he set the other bags down. "Don't worry about it,"

"Olli!" Sidney cheered, standing up from where he was squatting on the floor, filling up the empty coolers with beer. They embraced in a quick hug, patting each other on the back. "How are you?"

"I'm fine," He replied, cooly, as he reached up to his face to take off his sunglasses and set them on top of his head. "Are you guys okay?"

I eyed him oddly. "Of course, what are you on about?"

"You look like you've been crying. The both of you," He spoke, matter-of-factly, catching me off guard. While Olli was very observant, he was not confrontational by any stretch of the imagination, he was the type of person to notice something was off, but to wait to pull you aside by yourself to ask you about it.

"Oh," I replied, blushing. "It's nothing, no worries!"

Olli scoffed, crossing his arms over his chest as he leaned back against the counter. "C'mon, did someone die?"

I looked at Sid, who only smiled knowingly back at me. "I have to tell him, he thinks someone died!"

"We haven't told our families yet," Sidney reminded, keeping his voice low, but still wearing a smile on his face.

I grinned. "Olli is family," I replied, quickly, setting a hand onto Olli's arm. "He won't tell anyone, right?" I asked, looking up to Olli who glanced between Sidney and me, completely lost. His eyebrows a clear indicator of his confusion.

"Right?" He squeaked out, barely loud enough for me to hear him.

Sidney laughed and then threw his hands into the air as if to say 'What the hell, why not?'. "Go on, then,"

Without saying anything else, I reached down into the front pocket of my jean shorts and pulled out the diamond ring that Sidney had presented to me only ten minutes prior, and slid it onto my left ring finger. "We're getting married!" I squealed, shoving my hand into Olli's face, all the while dancing.

Olli gasped before pulling Sidney and me into a hug. "Congratulations!"

"But," I remarked, stepping out of the hug. "You can't tell anyone! Our families don't know yet,"

Olli shook his head profusely, his expensive sunglasses nearly going flying as he did. "Your secret is safe with me,"

"Good," I turned on my heel, grabbing two plates stacked with raw hamburgers ready to be grilled, and then spun back around to hand them to Olli. "Now you two get to cookin'," Sidney grabbed the pan full of hotdogs from the island and made his way out to the back patio where he had already lit the grill with Olli hot on his heels.

Before I could do anything else, I glanced down at the Tiffany ring on my left hand. It wasn't absurdly large. Sidney wasn't a flashy man nor was I a flashy woman. But, it was beautiful, nonetheless, too beautiful to have to hide for the evening, but too important to tell the team about before we told our families. It was also too beautiful to separate myself from completely, hence the reason I was hiding it in my pocket as opposed to the iconic blue box that set empty on top of Sidney's dresser. It was too new, too electrifying to simply place back into the box etched with my soon-to-be-initials across the top.

Carefully, I slipped the ring from my finger and returned it to its temporary hiding place in my short's tiny pocket. The weight of the ring against my thigh brought me an odd sense of comfort. Symbolically, of course, the ring tied Sidney and me together forever, but the weight of the ring felt as though it physically tethered us together too. I couldn't wait to bear the weight of the ring on my finger for longer than ten minutes. I couldn't wait to wear it forever. To spend forever connected to the man who I knew was my husband the day I met him.

I turned to the ice on the counter in front of me, noticing that the bags had begun to sweat and drip onto the hardwood floor of the kitchen. I sighed before picking a bag up to dump into the cooler full of warm beer. I proceeded to empty the other bags into the multiple coolers lining Sidney's kitchen, hoping that we had bought enough alcohol to hold the team and their others over for the night.

I began to open bags of chips and dump them into bowls when I heard the front door open and subsequently fall shut.

"Hello? Sid?" A heavy Russian accent rolled through the house.

I popped my head out of the kitchen to see Geno, Anna, Flower, and Vero standing in the entry-way, lingering awkwardly.

"Hi!" I stepped out of the kitchen fully now, making myself know. "Come in, come in,"

Anna smiled, coming toward me quickly. She wrapped me into a hug, holding onto me tightly with one arm, keeping the platter in her opposite hand between the two of us.

"Didn't want you hosting without sweets," She spoke softly, placing the plate full of brownies into my hands now.

"You didn't have to do that, thank you," She smiled softly and then stepped aside, allowing Vero to hug me quickly.

"Where's the cup?" Flower asked, pulling me into his side for a hug as soon as his wife let go of me.

"Uh," I began, turning back toward the kitchen to set Anna's brownies down and finish what I was doing before they all walked in the door. "I think Coach Sullivan has it, he's the last person I saw with it at the jet port." I dumped another bag of chips into a bowl and set it on the island among the other bowls and various plates of burger and hot dog toppings. "Okay," I dusted my hands off before setting them on my hips. "Drinks are in these coolers, there's bottled water, soda, beer, wine coolers," I listed off on my fingers. "Um, there's liquor outside at the bar by the pool, serve yourself,"

Without saying a word, Geno and Flower shared a quick look before darting toward the back door and disappearing outside, on the hunt for a stiff drink.

"What do you need help with, Everly? You look overwhelmed," Vero asked, running a comforting hand up and down my arm.

"This is just a much bigger affair than I had anticipated," I admitted sheepishly, turning away from the women in front of me to the fridge to pull the fruit out to cut it up and toss it all together to make a fruit salad.

Anna took the plastic containers from my hands and started over to a small section of empty counter space. I handed her a cutting board and knife and thanked her profusely as she began slicing.

"You're going to be just fine, Ev! As long as you have food and drinks, everyone will be happy," Vero glanced around the kitchen. "And by the looks of it, you have more than enough to get us through the night,"

"I just want to make a good impression on everyone, you know?"

"You already have,"

I smiled softly at her. She had been a great friend to me throughout the season, all the girls had, but Vero went the extra mile. She was always the first to reach out to me to invite me to a girl's night or to come over to watch The Bachelor or to call just to catch up. She was my rock this season, becoming my uncertified therapist to help me cope with the loneliness of Sid being away and the helplessness I felt from not being able to skate.

"Thank you, Vero," I offered sincerely.

"Anything for you, Ev. Now, get yourself a drink, you've earne-" The doorbell rang loudly startling the three of us. "Get a drink and then get the door, I've got the rest from here,"

Ignoring the coolers, I scrambled to the front door before whoever was on the other side could ring the bell again. I swung the door open, to see Mario, Coach Sullivan, their respective wives, and the keeper of the cup, Philip, whom I had yet to officially meet, but knew by name. His presence meant one thing: the Stanley Cup was in the Crosby house tonight.

"Everly! Good to see you again!" Mario chimed, leading the group into the house. He paused to kick his shoes off at the front door and then pulled me into a hug. Mario and Nathalie lived only a few streets over and were frequent fliers around here. Mario and Sidney often sat on the couch for hours on end, watching hockey games, and discussing anything and everything while Nathalie brought over homemade desserts, winning her way into my heart almost immediately.

"Ev," Nathalie spoke, hugging me with one arm over my shoulders. I hugged her back tightly. "I brought a cake, I hope you don't mind,"

I laughed. "Of course not! I will never complain about you bringing food over," She smiled warmly and then headed in the direction of the kitchen with Mario on his heels.

Coach Sullivan stepped farther into the house, discarding his shoes at the door just as Mario and Nathalie and his wife did before him. It was odd, to see him dressed down, I mean. On the few occasions that I had been around Coach Sullivan, he was always dressed to the nines, as if he was perpetually ready for a business meeting to occur at any given time.

"Everly, lovely to see you," Coach Sullivan pulled me into a side-hug and then released me quickly, but not without a squeeze to the shoulder. "This is my wife, Kate, I don't know that you two have met,"

I nearly went to offer a hand out to her, but instead just pulled her into a quick hug, surprising her. "Everly Cassius," I introduced, stepping back from her now. "I'm, uh, Sidney's fi-," I stopped myself quickly. "Girlfriend,"

"It's so nice to finally meet you, Everly."

"You as well, Kate," I gushed before giving the married couple the details on when dinner would be ready, where to find drinks, the bathroom, and Sidney, and then watched as they headed in completely different directions.

I turned to the blonde man still standing in the foyer, a small smile on his face. "Philip, right?" He nodded, letting go of the handle of the large black case behind him and offering a hand out to me. I introduced myself to him and him to me, insisting that I call him Phil. "Well, Phil, I'm glad that you're here," I told him, beginning to lead him toward the back door, watching as he towed the beat-up black trunk behind him and navigated it with ease through the house and out onto the patio.

"I'm just here to drop this beauty off," I looked at him in surprise as he put on his white gloves and popped open the black case.

"You don't have to stay with the cup?" I asked, watching as he lifted the cup with ease and set it on one of the tables I set up outside.

He chuckled. "Nope, I can just drop it off and leave it, as long as I know where it is, of course."

I hummed, crossing my arms over my chest. "I just always assumed you have to stay with it," He shook his head as he turned away from the cup and toward me. "Well, do you want to? Stay, I mean,"

He hesitated for a minute, pulling his white gloves off by the fingers. "I, uh, wel-"

"You don't have to say yes, I ju-"

"I'd love to stay, if that's okay with you and Sidney, of course,"

I grinned, before turning to Sidney who still stood over the grill with Olli at his side. "Sid," I called out to him, catching his attention. "You don't mind if Phil stays, right?"

Sidney smiled and shook his head. "Of course not! Get him a drink, Ev,"

I laughed before looking back to Phil. "What's your poison?" I asked, causing a grin to break out across his face.

I got Phil a beer at his request and then gave him the same spiel that I gave to everyone who came in before him; telling him where to locate drinks and the bathroom, to make himself at home, and to find Sid or me if he needed anything at all. He graciously thanked me and then wandered around to the opposite side of the pool and sat in one of the chairs facing the house. I watched on as he relaxed into the chair and twisted the top off of his beer bottle and took a long pull from the bottle.

"Careful, that big heart of yours is on your sleeve," Sidney whispered in my ear, startling me with his sudden presence.

I smiled softly at him, only to see that he was looking at Phil across the pool. "Didn't feel right for him to come to drop the cup by and then have to leave, likely to go back to an empty hotel room with shitty room service, when he knew we were having this big party. We have plenty of food, plenty to drink, what's one more?" I explained, looking back to Phil who now sat with Mario next to him, the two of them chatting away.

Sidney smiled before dipping his head down to press a kiss to my temple. "Good woman,"

"Hmm?"

"Just another reason I'm marrying you,"

As the night hours winded into the late night, everyone began to grow rowdier. Sid's backyard was beginning to look like a frat party at The University of Alabama on homecoming weekend. Even Coach Sullivan, or Sully, as he insisted I call him in his drunken stupor, was beginning to slur his words. Though people were drinking almost as soon as they hit the door, the drinks really began to flow after dinner was finished and plates were cleared. In the blink of an eye, the Stanley Cup was filled to the brim with Dom Pérignon and was being lifted to the lips of anyone who merely looked in the direction of the coveted trophy.

"Who hasn't had a sip?" Sidney called out, catching mostly everyone's attention, including mine. I glanced over to him, shamelessly checking him out as he stood in the pool next to Geno with the cup sitting on the ground between the two of them. However, I was still very much engaged in the conversation I was having with a few of the girls, even though I took my eyes off of them for a few seconds. But before I could even turn my head back around to return my gaze to them, Maureen Kunitz, who I had come to learn was a blast in a glass, was pulling me up from my seat, and pushing me toward Sid.

"Everly hasn't! In fact, I haven't seen her have a drink since I got here. She needs to loosen up,"

My eyes grew wide. "Maureen!" I exclaimed laughing, now noticing that everyone's attention was on me as she all but pushed me across the pool deck.

"Everly Grace!" Sidney taunted loudly, causing me to blush. "I can't believe you managed to fly under my radar,"

"Sidney," I whined playfully, dragging out the last syllable of his name.

"Oh no, don't Sidney me, baby. It's tradition, c'mon," He patted the concrete of the pool deck in front of him.

I shook my head, laughing, but walked toward him and squatted down in front of him, facing the cup, just as everyone before me had. Slowly, he and Geno lifted the cup and I wrapped my hands around the bowl to help them steady it and took a long sip of the warm champagne. I pulled away and wiped at my mouth with the back of my hand, catching the alcohol before it had the opportunity to run down my chin. Sidney and Geno set the cup back down on the concrete carefully, all the while laughing.

"How do you feel?" Sidney asked, looking up at me.

I laughed, nodding my head. "Like I just had a once-in-a-lifetime experience,"

He shook his head with a bright smile on his face. "Hopefully not," His hand reached out and wrapped around the back of my neck and pulled me to him, pressing a quick kiss to my lips. Sidney was not a man too keen on PDA, but I suppose with the amount of alcohol coursing through his system, he couldn't have cared less who saw the two of us.

"Get a room," Beau chirped from behind Sidney in the pool.

"I have the whole house, asshole," Sidney replied quickly, causing everyone within earshot to laugh.

The night went on, everyone getting more and more drunk as the sky above us shifted from blue to pitch black. The pool was full of people to where the bottom of the pool couldn't even be seen from the pool deck. At one point, Mario jumped in the pool fully clothed, causing everyone to cheer loudly, surely annoying the neighbors, who hopefully understood. Not long after Mario jumped in, the cup was thrown in and began to crowd surf among the team. It was a quarter past midnight and the party was far from over.

Maureen was right, however, I did need to loosen up. Wanting to throw a great party and making a good impression on everyone had me tense. After taking a drink from the cup, I headed over to the bar, where Kris has taken it upon himself to bartend and asked him to make me something, anything, with vodka in it. Three sweet concoctions later, I began to feel a little more than a buzz.

In the middle of my fourth drink, I felt someone wrap a warm, wet, arm around my waist, soaking my shirt in the process, and pull me into their chest.

"Sid," I spoke, never looking over my shoulder to confirm that's who had a hold of me. I knew already.

"Ev," I turned to face him now, drink still in hand. I wrapped my arms around his neck, my drink glass still in hand. "You just dumped that down my back, you know?"

I gasped, lifting my glass to see that it was indeed, empty. I laughed, hiding my face in his bare chest. "Sorry, Sid. Little tipsy,"

Sidney laughed, tossing his head back. The back of his head hit the lip of the glass in my hand, subsequently knocking it out of my hand and to the ground, where it shattered against the concrete. "Little drunk," He corrected with a laugh. He stepped forward, pushing me back into the granite bar.

"Okay, maybe a little drunk," I agreed with him. He smiled before dropping his lips down to mine and kissing me sweetly.

"I just want to do a toast and then we can start winding down for the night,"

I untangled myself from him, and he reached out for my hand, pulling me behind him toward the waterfall at the opposite end of the pool. He stepped up onto the concrete wall and pulled me up with him, tucking me into his side and throwing his arm around my shoulders. I watched as he placed two fingers from his opposite hand in his mouth and whistled loudly, capturing everyone's attention and drawing their eyes to us.

"All right everyone, I'm going to keep it short and sweet. First, thank you all for coming tonight. Second, I just want to tell you all that your hard work and sacrifices have not gone unnoticed this season. They are not lost on me. That goes for the wives and girlfriends too." Sidney squeezed my shoulder as he said this. "Everyone dedicated themselves to winning this season and now we have this beautiful cup to show for it," The crowd cheered loudly, causing me to laugh. "Okay, okay! That's all really, I just wanted to say thank you before we started losing more people," Sidney nodded his head in the direction of the lawn chairs, where Justin Schultz was passed out, one leg hanging off of the chair. "If you can't drive, please feel free to crash here. Everly's sister was kind enough to come over this morning and blow up a bunch of air mattresses. All four guest rooms have four or five, there are two in the office by the front door, and the couches are open too. There are blankets and pillows in every room, but if you need more there are some in the hall closet, right across from the bathroom."

"Thank you, guys!" I added once Sidney was finished speaking.

Before Sidney and I could step down from the concrete base of the waterfall, Olli's voice boomed over the group loudly, causing everyone to look at him as he stood on the opposite side of the pool.

"And a special thank you to the future Mr. and Mrs. Crosby for hosting us this evening!" Olli raised his drink in the air as if he was making a toast, however, no one else followed suit. Instead, everyone turned their attention back to Sidney and me, wide smiles on all of their faces.

"What is he talking about?"

"Yeah! Are you guys getting married?"

"Olli!" Sidney and I hissed in unison, though I slapped my hand against my forehead in disbelief at his admission.

"It slipped!"

A loud gasp emitted from the crowd as they realized that what Olli just let slip was in fact, true. They began cheering loudly, louder than they have all night.

"Congratulations!"

"This is so exciting!"

"When's the wedding?"

Sidney and I laughed at the variety of comments and congratulations and took a minute to soak it all in. Sidney cleared his throat before speaking over the group again. "Okay, alright! Yes, I asked Everly to marry me and she said yes!" Sidney pumped one fist in the air, earning hoops and hollers from the boys and awes from the girls. "But, we have to keep it a secret, at least until tomorrow,"

I nodded. "We haven't told our families yet! We only told Olli because he caught us with red crying eyes and he thought someone died, and I couldn't let him think someone had!" The group laughed and I watched as Patric Hornqvist elbowed Olli in the ribs.

"We'll keep it a secret if you show us the ring!" A voice shouted out from next to me.

"Yeah! Show us the ring!"

Without a second hesitation, I pulled the ring out of my front pocket and placed it on my finger, and then threw my hand out to my left. The girls squealed, all attempting to get a closer look at the diamond, however, in their excitement, they accidentally pushed Sidney and me from the waterfall, into the pool.

Sidney and I were both laughing when we resurfaced. I grabbed onto him first, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck. I kissed him, tasting chlorine more than anything else. But, in my opinion, it was the best kiss we had shared yet.

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partybusrentalpittsburgh10 · 1 month

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Charter Bus Rental Pittsburgh

Experience seamless travel arrangements with our premier Charter Bus Rental service in Pittsburgh. At Party Bus Rental Pittsburgh, we prioritize your comfort and safety, offering top-of-the-line vehicles equipped with modern amenities. Whether it’s a corporate event, wedding, or group outing, our reliable fleet and professional drivers ensure a smooth journey. With a commitment to excellence, we…

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pittsburghlimoblackcarservice · 9 months

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Advantages of Opting for a Pittsburgh Charter Bus Rental

There are many reasons, but what matters most is choosing the right one. For small groups traveling together, a charter bus rental in Pittsburgh may not seem like a reasonable option. After all, if there are seven, 10, or 15 people all traveling together, such as a family or group of friends, why would they even consider a coach bus in Pittsburgh? It may seem more reasonable to have people drive themselves to or from their destination. After all, wouldn’t that save money?

It might seem as though driving four or five vehicles, or possibly just two or three, is a lot more affordable than booking a Charter Bus Pittsburgh. However, people need to consider not just the wear and tear on their vehicle, but fuel, tolls, depending on the roads the travel, and parking.

Parking in Pittsburgh, as in most other metropolitan areas across the United States, has become incredibly expensive. It can cost $35 for every single vehicle to Park. When you calculate in five, that’s already $175, without taking into account fuel, tolls, and all those other incidental expenses.

For the best Party Bus Rental Pittsburgh has to offer, the best place to go is with Pittsburgh Car Services. Their 24/7 phone number is 727.737.8057. There one of the only charter bus companies that not just offers 24/7 customer service and support, but has one of largest fleets of available limos and buses from which to choose.

A coach bus, one that might see approximate 40 people, may not be practical for small groups, but a minibus or even an executive minibus could be the ideal solution. For people looking for an exceptional time, something like a VIP experience, they might want to consider party bus instead. For groups who live and work around Pittsburgh, they might discover some incredible places they’ve never even thought about, off from their highly knowledgeable driver. For people who are visiting the Pittsburgh area, our Pittsburgh Limo Service Company offer a coach bus in Pittsburgh can be a great way to do some sightseeing and experienced all this incredible Steel City has to offer.

About Pittsburgh Car Services:

Pittsburgh Car Services has been providing transportation for clients for more than two decades. Since 1993 this company has been involved in the transportation industry, building their fleet, providing the safest and most reliable transportation, and offer some of the most affordable rates in the industry. They also provide complementary bottled water and mints for all of their limo passengers and complementary bottled water for all bus guests, upon request. For more information or to see some of the vehicles in their fleet, visit Pittsburgh Car Services website at www.pittsburghlimoservice.com.

Source: https://pittsburghlimoblackcarservice.blogspot.com/2023/08/Advantages-of-Opting-for-a-Pittsburgh-Charter-Bus-Rental.html

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nationwidecar201 · 1 year

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When You Are Looking for A Party Bus in Pittsburgh, There Is No Better Choice Than Our Luxury Rides to Explore the Best Restaurants in Pittsburgh

According to most foodies and culinary experts, Pittsburgh is set to be the next hottest town for foodies. If you think that taking Charter Bus Pittsburgh was getting old, this amazing foodie tour in bus rentals in Pittsburgh will blow your mind. Pittsburgh: A Dream City for Foodies Not only is the food great, but the city has actively embraced the izakaya-inspired cuisines, with options like…

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the-bottom-of-the-abyss · 3 years

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A Playlist on Paradoxical Love

This is a true story about the abuse I suffered from a past relationship that I wrote for a college class. I feel that sharing may help me but also others in identifying abuse and/or helping others heal.

I have no idea if anyone will ever read this but it was so, so hard to write but in the end, getting my feelings out in one place seemed to help

HUGE TRIGGER WARNINGS: nongraphic sexual assault, mentions of rape, mentions of suicide, emotional abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, coercion, self deprecation

The Night We Met

The Night We Met by Lord Huron; This was our song, one that we thought was of love and fortune, but turned out to be of love and regret. The lyrics rang truer the longer we were together.

It was a warm and sunny day when she first met him. He was a new student from California, coming to her small town in West Virginia and happened to be in the percussion section with her in band. His voice caused butterflies to make a home in her young heart, igniting a spark she had not felt in the fifteen years she had been alive. He made her feel like she was something to want, always listening when others would not.

The week she met him other members of the band were going to a Drum Corps International show in Pittsburgh. Seeing it as an opportunity to get to know one another, the girl volunteered her mother to drive the girl and boy.

Her mother obliged, picking them up from the school parking lot and listened to the conversation being had in the backseat. The boy told the girl of a family full of abuse and an absence of love. The young girl felt her heart grow heavier with each story he recounted. He told her about his stepmother clawing his face, leaving the scar beneath his left eye. She wanted nothing but to heal the pain he held in his heart, to absorb all the hurt he felt.

By the end of the night, he had asked her to be his girlfriend to her delight. After dropping the boy off at his house, her mother turned to look at her with knowing eyes. She didn’t want her daughter hanging out with the boy; he was only trouble. The girl did not listen, deciding that her mother didn’t understand him. She wasn’t there when he made her laugh or looked at her like she hung the stars.

Her adamancy to be with him only grew. As a gift celebrating one month of being together, he gave her a box of things that reminded him of her. Inside, there were the type of mechanical pencils she liked with the thin lead she insisted on using. He picked out colored pens, knowing her obsession with collecting them and also put in scented hand sanitizer, knowing that she was running out of the bottle attached to her purse. To top it off there was a king size Kit-Kat bar, her favorite candy. The girl had never received a gift so thoughtful from anyone. No one had ever spent the time to curate something just for her.

He swept her off her feet and she couldn’t have been more infatuated.

***

Sometimes I look back to that girl and wonder how she didn’t see the danger. I was naïve then, so young and unafraid of the world. Other times I know her naivety wasn’t her fault. How was I supposed to know that the person that told me they loved me would become a monster?

His words were like honey, always promising to give me the world and more, appealing to my doe-eyed view of his love. He would listen to my ramblings and musings about life that most people I knew avoided for the sake of saving time. His touches were soft and gentle in a way I could have only dreamed of. I couldn’t have known that those sweet words would turn to phrases that felt like poison, subtle when spoken but deadly when left to linger. I couldn’t have known that the same ears that listened to me would become the same that ignored my pleas for him to hear what I was saying and not twist my words. I couldn’t have known that those hands that held mine would become the same that forced me to please him after I told him no.

My mother was right and in typical teenager fashion, I ignored her advice.

Tennessee Whiskey

Tennessee Whiskey by Chris Stapleton; We went to Tennessee but in addition to that, the lyrics of the song spoke to how warm and cared for he made me feel.

The sun-kissed days of summer gently rolled into the cool, crisp season of fall. While the breeze strengthened day by day, so did their relationship. She swore she had never been so happy, standing tall by his side, feeling like a goddess in his cornflower blue gaze. When it was announced the band would be traveling to Nashville, she excitedly waited for the day for the charter buses to arrive in the cracked parking lot of her school.

October had granted them a clear day for departure, and she sat in the seat next to him, watching mountains she grew up in turn to flat plains of the Midwest. The bus was loud, filled with gleeful voices of their peers, but talking to him made it fade into the background.

She suggested taking a small nap, to help pass the hours of driving straight ahead. He declined, explaining he was an insomniac, and told her to rest without him. The girl convinced him to lay on her lap and decided to sing softly to him, as he did tell her once she had the voice of an angel. Somber tones of “The A Team” by Ed Sheeran floated from her to him for an hour before his breathing evened out.

The first day in Athens of the South flew by, taken up by the bone-tired exhaustion of the long trip and unpacking. On their second day, she dressed in her jazz band uniform, preparing for their recording in Studio B. The boy complimented her red blouse and dress pants as she stepped out of the hotel elevator, making her blush. She thought the uniform was unflattering and too formal to be worthy of his praise.

After the recording, the boy hugged her and told her how good she did and how proud he was. Proud. Someone was proud of her, of her performance. People had told her that she had talent and extended their compliments but none of it meant as much as his.

When the trip ended, she was woeful wishing for more time to escape any commitments back in her hometown. She reminded herself that there was always the Friday night lights that graced their football field and the memories it would bring. The girl was so excited to spend those nights on the field with the boy. The band would dive into the halftime show and afterwards, she could show him what a pepperoni roll was.

*** I sometimes look at pictures I still have from the trip to Nashville. I looked so happy and sure of myself. I thought of myself as a true grown-up back then, not knowing what the future would bring. He was so good to me, and even though there were signs here and there, nothing stood out as dangerous. There was no blaring siren, screeching to evacuate before the ship went down. We had only been dating a few months then, but he told me he felt like he knew my soul from a past life. He knocked on the door to my heart, and I opened it without a second thought, believing every promise he made.

I’m Your Puppet

I’m Your Puppet by Gregory and The Hawk; the lyrics “and I’ll undress, if you need it. But please don’t need it” is an accurate way to tell how fucked up my psyche was after this.

They were on the way home from a friend’s graduation party; it was exuberant, a great celebration of their mutual friend. The boy asked the girl if she wanted to pull over somewhere and fool around. It wasn’t even close to being the first time they had been together like that; they were actually each other’s first times. She was a little reluctant, hesitating to do anything that may land her in trouble. He told her that everything would be fine, so she relented, and the car pulled behind a small row of storage containers.

They both climbed in the backseat. A kiss was shared between the two, only lasting a few seconds before the boy pulled away from the girl’s shining lips.

“Can you give me a blowjob?” He asked her, looking with pleading eyes. “I don’t really want to,” she said, evading his piercing gaze, “I’m not really feeling it.” His face twisted, showing his disapproval at her response. “Come on, you never want to.

What happened to the girl who said she’d always be down to do stuff like this?” “No,” she told him, “I don’t want to.” The girl only had done it a few times, but she had almost thrown up once, and she didn’t want a repeat of that. She hoped that refusing again would make him stop asking.

He rolled his eyes and scoffed, “This is what you do when you’re in a relationship.” The girl went to object but didn’t get the chance. He opened the door and got out of the car, pulling her with him so they were standing in the gravel.

“I don’t want to,” the girl said, feeling panic rise, “let’s just have sex instead.”

“It won’t take very long,” he urged with a forceful edge that made her insides twist. With that, he put pressure on her shoulder to have her sink to her knees.

He said it wouldn’t take very long but it felt like eons to her. The rocks in the gravel pushed into the skin on her knees and that’s what she focused on. If she focused only on the pain, maybe everything else would cease to exist. She knew the boy saw tears rolling down her cheeks and heard the small, muffled sobs that escaped her. He only looked at her with lust, not giving a damn about how she was terrified, how he was making her feel.

After he finished, he pulled her up off the rocks, and helped her back in the car. Only once she felt the leather below her did she begin to full out sob. Instead of the harsh figure from moments before, she was met with the boy she knew, the one who loved her.

He pulled the girl into his lap and rocked her as she cried. “Shh,” he cooed. “I’m so sorry, I never should have done that. Please forgive me.” The girl nodded and buried her face in the crook of his neck, letting herself be calmed by his soothing voice. “We don’t have to do anything else,” he said.

To prove to him that she forgave him, she shook her head. “No, it’s fine,” she sniffled, “I’m fine.”

Once it was over, they drove home in complete silence.

***

That day still haunts me. It wasn’t the first time he had coerced me into something. It was far from the last, but it was the one time he legitimately forced me to do something I didn’t want to do and acknowledge it.

I blocked it out for a long time, trying to go on with life as normal. I only realized how wrong it was when I talked to a friend of mine who went through something similar. Even then, I brushed it off and told myself he didn’t mean it. It took even longer for me to see it as sexual assault. I still only remember the overview of what happened, the rest is somewhere in my mind, somewhere that it can’t hurt me. The one thing I remember is the gravel on my knees. The indents I saw when I got home that afternoon were the only things showing that it had truly happened.

This point marked when he knew he could manipulate me. I was so scared of doing something wrong, of disappointing people, disappointing him. At the notion I was beginning to become something he didn’t like, I tried my hardest to become what he said he needed.

If I think about what happened too much, I feel sick, like I need to take a scalding shower and scrub the memory out of existence.

Poison

Poison by Sofia Mills; This song brought me back to the hazy feeling of being high out of my mind and believing my person was the one pushing the drugs into my hands.

She had never gotten high before. The boy once told her he would never touch a drug, but that statement faded into explanations about how he wanted to live life. She was wary, weed was very different from the nicotine they both let swirl in their lungs. He told her for two months about how great it was until she agreed to try. She lied to her parents; the couple had been dating for a little over a year, but the girl’s parents still tried to limit their time together. Instead, she told them it would be a few of her friends from band sleeping over and that the boy wouldn’t be there.

The smoke burned in her chest; it left a distinct aftertaste she wouldn’t forget. Everything was fine until her body started to reject the hazy feeling trying to overtake her. She got sick, a feeling she absolutely loathed. Her friends gave her water and she sat curled in a ball on a chair outside, shivering as the high feeling started to crescendo. The boy stayed outside and told her she’d be okay. He grabbed a wet washcloth and dabbed her clothes before cleaning the hair framing her face. It was in that moment that she only thought of him.

No one else would ever do this for me, she thought. He loves me more than anyone ever has. I am so lucky.

*** That wasn’t the last time I got high. We would smoke at our friend’s house every weekend, spending lazy evenings in each other’s’ arms. That night in particular, I felt so special that someone other than my own mother would clean me up after getting sick and later help me feebly crawl up the stairs.

Wrong Direction

Wrong Direction by Hailee Steinfield; the lyrics “Every time you burn me down, don’t know how, for a moment, it felt like heaven” kind of explains what it was like when looking back on abusive relationships. Back then, the moment of the apology felt like a huge act of love, but now it’s obvious it was just an empty promise.

She had just gotten off a shift at work and got into his car, the clock showing a time around ten at night. The girl already told him that she felt too tired to do anything, but she would be alright for just cuddling before he drove her home. He nodded and drove across the street to the abandoned K-Mart and parked in the middle of the barren lot.

They got in the backseat and she leaned her head on his shoulder and told him about a tough customer she had to deal with. The boy listened to her and waited until her rant flickered into silence.

“Are you sure you don’t want to do anything?”

“Yeah,” she replied, “I’m so exhausted, I’ve been on my feet all day and worked an eight- hour shift.”

“Come on,” he urged, “we never do anything anymore.” She felt exhaustion seeping into her bones, and for the first time, didn’t give in, “No, I am too tired, I want to go home and sleep.”

Instead of agreeing she should get some sleep, he shrugged her head off his shoulder. She tried to reach for his arm, but he yanked it away from her and harshly rolled his eyes. “Babe?” She asked, not fully understanding what was happening.

The boy ignored her concerned gaze and opened the backseat door, loudly slamming it shut before getting into the driver’s seat. The girl took it as her cue to get into the passenger’s side. As he started the car, she once again reached for his hand that rested on the gear shift. Without looking in her direction, he moved his hand to the steering wheel, so quickly that it seemed as though her touch burned him. A permanent scowl took resident on his face and she tried again to talk to him.

“Babe? Please talk to me,” she pleaded, feeling the dread crawl into her throat. With no response, tears started to fall. The road to her house felt so much longer, filled with continuous pleas for him to talk to her, to say anything.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed, “I was just really tired. I’m really sorry, please forgive me.” There was no mistaking the sorrow in her voice, the boy knew she was crying, even if he refused to look.

He pulled into her driveway, looking straight ahead as she gathered her coat and purse. Before getting out she tried to lean over to kiss him, but he leaned away.

“I’m sorry,” she repeated before getting out, “I love you.” To her surprise, he didn’t respond. When she shut the door, he immediately backed out, leaving her tear-stained and feeling helpless.

When the boy apologized to her the next day, she forgave him immediately.

***

I have read that emotional abusers utilize the silent treatment because of how effective it is. After refusing him, the stonewalling struck me at my core, my worst fear coming true: becoming something he didn’t want anymore. I never stood my ground again after that. When he would want sex after that night, it would go one of two ways. I would still say no about ten times before he pulled a line that made me so full of guilt that I did what he wanted, or I promised “next time.”

In My Veins

In My Veins by Andrew Belle; This song really emphasizes the pain of the hole that is left when someone with such a stable place in your life. It feels like all that is left is their ghost.

“I don’t think we should be together anymore, Emily.” “What? What are you even talking about?” “I just need to find myself.” “What the fuck does that even mean? How can you just leave? I love you, please, we can work it out.”

“I’m sorry, I just think it’s for the best.”

*** The first time we broke up was over the phone while I was on a weekend vacation. It came after I kept pushing him to apply to college since he was going to be graduating later that year. I calculated what it would cost for him to live off minimum wage while paying rent and he got so angry. He broke up with me because he was getting annoyed with my insistence on going to college or a technical school. He hated when I got on him to not skip school or to stop smoking so much weed. He made me feel like I was so awful for trying to help him succeed. No one has ever made me feel like a burden in the way he did.

A week after, he came to my house and told me that he didn’t realize what he had until it was gone and I ultimately took him back, truly believing he would change.

Terrible Love

Terrible Love by The National; this point really marked the realization that I was in a toxic cycle of what I thought was love.

It was about thirty minutes before the girl was to perform with the jazz band for a Christmas concert. She had asked the boy to come, but he said he had plans already. This wasn’t surprising considering he left early from school on her birthday to get high. The girl settled for texting him instead.

She asked him what he was up to and he replied that he didn’t want to tell her, as she would get upset. Immediately, the girl felt worry build. Thousands of possibilities fleeted across her consciousness of he was indulging in. After pleading for him to tell her, for her own sanity, he relented and told her that he was going to be doing MDMA for the first time with a mutual friend he lived with. The girl felt irritation mixed with desperation bubble up inside her. He swore he would never do anything besides smoke weed but once again, he trampled over any promises ever made.

She texted him a long paragraph about how irresponsible it was and that he could get into so much trouble. He told her how uptight she was and how she was keeping him from living his life. The girl was fed up and told him not to text her for the rest of the night. It was a justified reaction, but her anxiety only told her she was a shitty partner for not indulging him.

She was so upset, so anxious about what he was doing and how in the recent months had been throwing his life away. He had recently began insisting that he would be fine living off of her in the future until he figured out what to do. The night went on with her panic staying at a fever pitch.

The next day the girl texted her best friend, the same one he was with, and ranted about the situation, hoping that the friend would see why she was so torn up. They had the following exchange:

The girl: He even said I wasn’t going to like what you guys were going to do. Because he knew I’d be super against it. But he said it was fine and it wasn’t a big deal and that I was overreacting. I don’t think I am. I just needed someone to talk to last night because I cried and just went over in my head what the hell I could do to help him. It’s not just this. It’s all of it. He doesn’t do his homework, skips school, or leaves because he feels like it, has no motivation and no desire to do the things he needs to. When you love someone so much all you want to do is see them succeed. Idk maybe I’m just an uptight bitch and a shit person but I do know I want the best for him.

Friend: You act like I want to see him fail. I don’t, Emily. I want him to succeed just as much as you do but I also want him to live his life to the fullest. Everyone needs to have quality of life or it isn’t worth living.

The girl: I never said you wanted to. I know you want to see him succeed just as much as I do. But I know for a fact if he doesn’t get himself together, there’s not much of a life to live. It sucks but life is hard and it’s not easy. No matter who you are, it’s never going to be easy. If he doesn’t graduate high school, there’s not much he can do. Even fast-food places can only pay minimum wage without a high school diploma and to be a manager you need a high school diploma. I’m looking for his future, not the next few months. If he wants to live in an apartment, he needs money. His dad isn’t always going to give him that. To get money, a decent job is required. Minimum wage won’t be enough. And he just doesn’t care. I try to make up for it and I try and try to push him to do his homework, to study, to make good grades. But it never works.

Friend: I’m upset rn so I’m not going to respond atm. I will text you later and we can talk about it then, okay?

The girl: Okay be safe. Please don’t show him all this unless you think necessary. I don’t want him to be mad at me because it makes me feel like the shittiest person on earth when people are mad at how I feel and like I shouldn’t tell people how I feel anymore.

*** It is hard to explain the way I felt when he told me he was going to do MDMA. My reaction wasn’t due to the drug itself, but more about the stereotypical, lazy deadbeat he had become. He once tried to impress me by telling me he brought up an 8% to a 32% in an easy class.

I felt responsible for the way he was. I thought I could fix him, that I would be able to pull him out of the headspace he was in and bring him back to who he used to be. Back then, I didn’t realize he had always been that way, only getting more obvious because I never called him out on it, save for a few times.

I recently found those texts while drafting out this paper. Reading them teleports me into the headspace I once held. Back then, I believed that I needed to help him along with the small voice that told me he was right, that I was overreacting. Now I know that my reaction was justified, I should’ve held him accountable by breaking up with him on the spot. But like many times before, I didn’t. I clung on to the hope that not all was lost, there was still time.

Honey and Milk

Honey and Milk by Flower Face; there are some lyrics in this song that really frame how the end of such a toxic relationship felt like. “And the love you made me fight for was never love at all. The red light shines through the window and I’ve got a black eye for every bed you’ve made. The honey and milk on my fingertips was never enough to make you stay.”

It was mid-April, spring out in full force when she couldn’t get ahold of him. Most days, she would have chalked it up to him deciding he wasn’t in the mood to go to school, but the day before, he swore he’d be there.

Halfway through the day, she saw him approaching in the hallway. The relief that filled her didn’t last long, though.

“We got busted last night,” he told her. “What?” “Yeah, we got caught with weed in the car and I got a drug charge.” The girl shouldn’t have been so shocked, but she was. Even worse, she shouldn’t have felt relief that he was handing her a reason to leave him on a silver platter. She finally had enough of the coercion in the bedroom, his confidence that she would never leave, and feeling like a burden.

“I can’t believe this,” she stated, shaking her head. “I’ll talk to you later; I need to think.”

The girl called him later, knowing that if she saw his face, she wouldn’t go through with it. She told him that she was done. He cried for the first time over her and told her that he wanted to take his own life. He went on for hours about how he was going to kill himself without her. The girl felt guilt settle in the forefront of her mind. She told the boy it was going to be alright and comforted him, trying to keep him calm, truly believing that he would leave his blood staining her hands.

She cried for hours after hanging up the phone. But she wasn’t crying for him, she was crying for the girl she used to be. It was almost two years that he had her in his clutches, two years of playing into his twisted games.

While she did feel used and irrevocably damaged, she could finally breathe. She was free.

*** I never went back to him, but not for a lack of him trying. I got myself as far away as possible and it was the best decision I ever made.

New Person, Old Place

New Person, Old Place by Madi Diaz; I struggled for a long time for a song that captured at least something close to my real feelings. This song captures the sadness, the trauma, and the moving on. I think that it really adds to the feelings of realization of how much I sacrificed for him: “I used to take all of your shit and carry it on my back. I’d leave what I needed behind to make room for whatever you had. I believed that I had to be strong just for you, so you wouldn’t crack”

I have thought again and again what I was going to end my story with. The optimistic and empathetic part of me yearns for a happy ending. I want people to know it gets better and feel hopeful. But the much larger, aching side of me wants to tear down the mended façade I have built and scream out all the hurt.

Most days I feel that I’m made up of an alphabet soup of emotions I couldn’t even begin to decipher. In one moment, I feel okay again and understand that I didn’t deserve what happened, but it is over. The next is filled with visceral recollections of all the worst parts that reignites every antagonistic thought. It truly feels like my psyche is in a never-ending pendulum, swinging between healing and absolute and total self-destruction.

While my thoughts on the matter are contradictory from one day to another, I think I have come to a few conclusions. I know that I am not okay, and I probably won’t be for a while. I cannot lie to myself by saying the shaking in my hands that accompanies thinking back is due to the cold instead of a physical reaction to trauma. I also have come to realize that I am so fucking angry, and I am allowed to be. A lot of people say that forgiveness is the way to healing but I think that is bullshit. I will never forgive him for what he did to me. He stole my naivety from underneath me and forced me to thank him. How can you forgive something like that?

Many don’t understand why survivors stay in abusive relationships if it is so awful. The problem is that it wasn’t always bad. There were times that I felt like I was on top of the world and others where he yanked me down to hell. I believed I deserved what he did, that I wasn’t worth anything more. He made me believe he was the only one that would love me.

It’s funny how trauma works. While he assaulted my body and tortured my mind, I mislabeled it as love, as flaws that I needed to accept since he loved mine. I didn’t start to notice the way he changed me until months later. Even now, almost two years since the day I left, I’m still tormented by the aftereffects. Over the course of writing about my ordeal, I tremble for hours, physically reacting to reliving the experiences, no matter how healing it is.

Suffering from abuse at such a formative age, fifteen to seventeen, left its mark on my psyche, etched deep inside. Because of this, I want others to know how to escape and that no one is responsible for the actions of others. Even if he was abused himself, he chose to continue the cycle and use me as a scapegoat for all his problems in life. I am grateful for one thing though; I will never, ever let myself be treated like that again. I would rather be alone than suffer the way that I did.

I’ve come to terms with the fact that most stories don’t have a happy ending; instead, most end in a nameless limbo between good and bad. My story falls into that majority. Many bad things happened, and they continue to come back again and again, like a stray that only found shelter in my mind. There is still so much that haunts me daily, but I also know that it is not all bad.

My soul is still covered with the ominous clouds his presence brought but every day, more slivers of sunlight poke through, causing flowers to bloom where it was once barren. One day, a full garden will grow and take over the parts of me that he singlehandedly ripped apart. One day, I will not feel so empty about the ordeal.

One day, I will be okay again.

#Trigger warning #tw #tw abuse #tw r*pe #tw sex assault #abuse #emotional abuse #trauma #intimate partner violence #domestic abuse #gaslighting #toxic relationship #abusive relationship #actuallytraumatized #coercion

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cheaplimoservicenearme · 3 years

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Why Would Anyone Consider a Black Car Service Pittsburgh PA?

It’s not only more affordable than many people realize, it’s also a safe and wild option to consider.

It’s been a long time since you spend quality time with friends. Maybe it’s been 10 years since college graduation and your friends are all planning to get together once more to have a night out on the town. This can be exciting, but why would anyone consider a car service Pittsburgh, PA for these special functions?

First, No One Would Have to Drive.

Whether your friends all drive regularly or take public transportation, when you rely on a party bus, no one has to worry about the hassle of getting behind the wheel. They don’t have to worry about tolls, parking, paying for parking, or anything else like that.

You Can All Meet at One Designation.

You can all agree to meet at your house or somebody else’s and wait for the party bus to pick you up. As long as you choose a quality, dependable company like Party Bus Pittsburgh, you won’t have to worry about what time they will actually get there to pick you up. You will know that if you said 7:30 PM, the company will be there on time.

You will be able to enjoy a true, genuine party bus if you hire this company as well. Maybe you have more than just a few friends. In that case, Car service near me is a great option to consider. When you have charter buses, you can choose from executive minibuses, minibuses, party buses, and coach buses.

It may not seem practical, but when you spread the cost around among all those people who will be traveling together, it’s often more affordable than everyone driving themselves and paying for parking independently.

Party Bus Pittsburgh is available to speak to somebody 24 hours a day, seven days a week at 888.308.3767. People can also make reservations through their website by visiting www.partybusrentalpittsburgh.com. For the best timeout with friends, don’t underestimate just how valuable transportation can be. Call us Now at (724) 737-8057

Source: https://pittsburghlimoservice.blogspot.com/2021/10/why-would-anyone-consider-black-car.html

#PITAirportCarService #BlackCarServiceburgh #CarServicePittsburgh #LimoServicePittsburgh #LimoServiceNearMe #LimoServicesPittsburgh #PartyBusRentalNearMe

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pittsburghlimoservice · 5 years

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Pittsburgh Party Buses: Ensuring No One Gets Left Behind!

Bus rentals in Pittsburgh are becoming everyone’s preferred choice of transportation means be it taking it to a wedding, renting them to tour the state or trips with employees on a business seminar out of town. Party Bus Pittsburgh, in particular are best to take to the weddings and we are presenting you with some genuinely good reasons why.

You Won’t Have To Worry About Finding A Parking Spot:

Traffic in Pittsburgh can get pretty bad. Knowing if all your guests reach the wedding venue before the start of the ceremony is a hard one to guess. Even if they do reach, they have to spend a good amount of time finding the perfect parking spot. However, had the couple’s family decided to book bus rentals in Pittsburgh, this wouldn’t have been a problem?

Will Give Out-Of-Town Guests A Means Of Transportation:

Secondly, all guests will get to attend your big day, especially those who are traveling from out of town for you. Since they didn’t drive here, arranging for suitable transportation for them is the family’s responsibility. This is where renting Pittsburgh charter buses come in. they ensure that everyone attends the wedding without being concerned about the ride.

A Safe Drive Back Home:

Not everyone is in a condition to drive back home safely after having more than a few drinks at the reception. To ensure their safety, renting Limo service Near Me is your best option. Your guests won’t even have to worry about leaving early to avoid traffic.

Posted by Pittsburgh Limo Service

Please visit to our website and go through our reservation/ quote page, if you also have the query like the following or Call us now - (724) 737-8057

How Much Does It Cost for Charter Service?

How Much Is A Bus Rental Per Hour?

How Much Does It Cost to Rent A Charter Bus For 3 Days?

How Much Does It Cost to Charter A Bus For 4 Days?

How Much Does It Cost to Rent A Party Bus For 5 Hours?

How Much Does It Cost to Rent A Party Bus Near Me?

Source: https://pittsburghlimoservice.blogspot.com/2019/07/pittsburgh-party-buses-ensuring-no-one.html

#Pittsburgh Party Buses #Limo Service Near Me #Party Bus Pittsburgh #Bus Rentals in Pittsburgh #Pittsburgh Charter Buses

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papermoonloveslucy · 4 years

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HOLLYWOOD BOND CAVALCADE

September 4, 1943

On September 4, 1943, the Hollywood Bond Cavalcade departed to raise money for America’s Third War Loan. It began in Washington DC and went through 16 American cities before ending in San Francisco 21 days later. Millions of Americans flocked to these events buying war bonds as their tickets, with seat prices ranging from $18.75 to $1 million. After crossing 10,091 miles, the campaign raised a total of $40,110,000 and pushed America’s War Loan over the $2 billion mark.

The Hollywood Victory Committee was an organization founded on December 10, 1941 during World War II to provide a means for stage, screen, television and radio performers that were not in military service to contribute to the war effort through bond drives and improving morale for troops. It was associated with the Screen Actors Guild. The Committee organized events between January 1942 until August 1945. Its first chairman was Clark Gable.

This was not the first such event. In 1942, Desi Arnaz participated in the Hollywood Victory Caravan. He was joined by stars Joan Bennett, Joan Blondell, Charles Boyer, James Cagney, Claudette Colbert, Jerry Colonna, Bing Crosby, Olivia de Havilland, Cary Grant, Charlotte Greenwood, Bob Hope, Frances Langford, Laurel and Hardy, Bert Lahr, Groucho Marx, Frank McHugh, Ray Middleton, Merle Oberon, Pat O'Brien, Eleanor Powell, and Risë Stevens. The Caravan show played in 12 cities and netted over $700,000 for Army and Navy relief funds. [Note that in the above Minneapolis welcome sign, Desi’s surname is mis-spelled!]

Along with Lucille Ball, some of the celebrities involved included:

James Cagney ~ had just opened his film Johnny Come Lately on September 3, 1943.

Judy Garland ~ won a 1940 special Oscar for her contributions to film. In September 1943, she released Thousands Cheer (co-starring Lucille Ball) and two months later, Girl Crazy with Mickey Rooney.

Mickey Rooney ~ was also in Thousands Cheer with Garland and Ball, as well as premiering Girl Crazy with Judy Garland in November 1943. Rooney won Oscars in 1939 and 1940. In 1966 he played himself on an episode of “The Lucy Show.”

Kay Kyser ~ was a bandleader who made his film debut with Lucille Ball in That’s Right - You’re Wrong. He made four films in 1943, including Thousands Cheer.

Paul Henreid ~ was most known for playing Victor Laszlo in Casablanca (1942). His name was mentioned on “I Love Lucy” in “The Adagio” (ILL S1;E12) when Ricky lights two cigarettes at once, just a Paul Henreid did for Bette Davis in 1942′s Now Voyager.

Greer Garson ~ won Oscars in 1940, 1942, and 1943, for Mrs. Miniver, her most recent success at the time. She had a film in release called The Youngest Profession and was about to debut another hit, Madame Curie.

Betty Hutton ~ was an actress and singer who was seen that summer of ‘43 in Let’s Face It, starring Bob Hope.

Kathryn Grayson ~ was yet another Cavalcade member starring in Thousands Cheer.

Harpo Marx ~ is best known for the act he developed with his brothers that was a hit on Broadway and screen. He was a silent clown in an over-sized raincoat and fright wig. Lucy and Harpo had appeared together in Room Service in 1938. In 1955, he guest-starred on “I Love Lucy” (S4;E28) as himself.

Fred Astaire ~ was one of Hollywood’s most legendary dancers. In July 1943 he released The Sky’s The Limit with Joan Leslie. In 1943, he had already done three musical films with Lucille Ball, and was about to film a fourth - Ziegfeld Follies. His name was mentioned on two episodes of “I Love Lucy.”

Olivia DeHavilland ~ was a two-time Oscar nominee at the time of the Cavalcade. She memorably played Melanie Wilkes in Gone With The Wind in 1939.

Martha Scott ~ was a 1940 Oscar nominee for the screen version of Our Town. Her film Hi Diddle Diddle was in release during the summer of 1943.

Dick Powell ~ was preparing to premiere Riding High with Dorothy Lamour in November 1943. He was about to start filming Meet the People with Lucille Ball, which opened in 1944.

The stars participated upon behest of the US Treasury Department.

A special 11-car Union Pacific Railroad train carried the stars from Los Angeles, to Washington DC for the kick-off.

Union Pacific Railroad provided access to their new Domeliner for location and second unit footage on “I Love Lucy” during “The Great Train Robbery” (S5;E5).

Tour Schedule:

Sept 4 - Depart Los Angeles

Sept 8 – Washington, DC

Sept 9 – Philadelphia

Sept 10 – Boston

Sept 11 – New York

Sept 12 – Pittsburgh

Sept 13 – Cleveland

Sept 14 – Detroit

Sept 15 – Cincinnati

Sept 16 – Chicago

Sept 17 – Minneapolis

Sept 18 – St Louis

Sept 20 – New Orleans

Sept 21 – Dallas

Sept 22 – San Antonio

Sept 25 – San Francisco

Sept 26 & 27 – Los Angeles

A Typical Cavalcade Performance (depending on celebrity availability)

Kay Kyser served as master of ceremonies and started the show with his band's theme "Thinking Of You". James Cagney came on to read a poem - "What Do We Do When We Buy A Bond" - and did two numbers and a dance from Yankee Doodle Dandy, for which he had recently won the Academy Award. Dick Powell then crooned some of his hits: "Don't Give Up The Ship," "Let's Get Lost," "In My Arms," and "Happy Go Lucky".

Harpo Marx would intermittently chase a blonde across the stage. He eventually settled down to play two harp solos, bang on the piano, wheeze on the harmonica, and finally played a pantomime poker game with Lucille Ball, who had appeared with Harpo in Room Service in 1938 and learned physical comedy at his knee. Harpo ended the game by cutting the cards with an ax!

After Fred Astaire danced, Kyser brought down the house with a burlesque imitation of his style. Mickey Rooney did imitations of Franklin Roosevelt, Eleanor Roosevelt, Herbert Hoover, Wendell Wilkie, and then played the drums.

Betty Hutton performed some hot boogie-woogie. Judy Garland sang "The Man I Love," "Embraceable You," and "Blow, Gabriel, Blow."

Greer Garson urged continued bond purchases, saying, "If we relax, if we don't back the attack, the war will go on indefinitely."

Upon arrival in Washington DC on September 8, Lucille Ball and the stars paraded through the streets in military jeeps, waving to the assembled crowds on their way to the Washington Monument. A similar parade was held in most all subsequent cities.

After departing DC, the stars embarked on a 15 city ‘barn-storming’ tour of American cities.

September 9 ~ the Cavalcade played Philadelphia's Convention Hall...

...and moved to play Boston on September 10.

September 11 ~ at Madison Square Garden in New York City. It was here that Betty Hutton announced her engagement to camera manufacturer Ted Briskin. They tied the knot in 1945 but the marriage ended in divorce in 1951.

September 12 ~ Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. The newspapers promoted its arrival with this photo from their Los Angeles departure.

September 13 ~ the Cavalcade rolled through Cleveland, Ohio the stars spoke to an assembly of Defense Workers. That night, at the Civic Auditorium, Kay Kyser auctioned off an American flag for $10,000,000 and two pounds of butter and a three pound steak for $100,000 each!

September 14 ~ Detroit, Michigan

September 15 ~ Cincinnati, Ohio. Stars rode into town on chartered Cincinnati Street Railway buses kicked off at Union Station. Lucille Ball is 8th from the right, next to Harpo Marx.

September 16 in Chicago’s Soldier Field.

September 17 in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

September 18 in St. Louis, Missouri at the Kiel Auditorium. Most of the stars lodged at the Hotel Jefferson, where police had to chase 300 autograph hounds out of the lobby. They also had to drag a high school girl out from beneath Fred Astaire's bed. In another incident, surging fans shattered a plate glass window, which tore Judy Garland's dress to shreds.

September 19 was left as an ‘open’ day in New Orleans, Louisiana, before their official performances on September 20 at the Tad Gormley Stadium. Variety reported the crowd at 50,000, The States stated it was between 65,000 and 75,000, while The Item claimed 100,000 showed up, despite the actual venue only seating 35,000!

September 21 in Dallas, Texas at the Cotton Bowl...

...and in San Antonio, Texas on September 22.

September 25 in San Francisco to perform...

...and on September 26 went home to Los Angeles to conclude the 10,000 mile tour. A crowd of 6,000 greeted them at the station in Glendale as the Navy Band played "California, Here I Come."

The song would memorably be sung on “I Love Lucy” to launch the Hollywood episodes in 1955.

Lucille Ball helped sell bonds throughout her career. Click here for a look at Lucy and US Savings Bonds!

#Lucille Ball #War Bonds #1943 #Hollywood Bond Cavalcade #Tour #USA #World War II

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