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red-moon-at-night · 11 months

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An Analysis of Haruka’s MVs: Distance and Disability

Hello! I’ve recently fallen down the rabbit hole that is Milgram and I have been itching to make some completely normal and sane analysis posts. My silly alternate title for this was gonna be “Things About Haruka’s MVs That Just Make Sense: A Hyperfixation-fuelled Analysis”, because honestly my autistic brain has been having a field day over here.

I am in awe with just about every single music video in this project; the animation is incredible and each one packs so much carefully laid out information. But I have been rotating Haruka’s in my head constantly since I first watched them, and I have a lot of Thoughts. Not about whether he’s guilty or innocent/forgiven or unforgiven. Not about whether or not I can justify his murders. Just some straight up imagery and symbolism analysis, through the lens of disability.

Haruka’s disability has not been specified, but I am confident we can at least say he is neurodivergent. I feel like the cultural differences in names for several things e.g. ‘learning disability’ vs ‘learning difficulty’ will just invite unnecessary drama, and is a little pedantic. What does matter here is that Haruka's experience as a disabled person is heavily intertwined within his story and his motives.

So, without further ado... let’s get into this!

Trigger warnings/TW: I will be discussing ableism, eugenics and harm towards disabled people. Everything else will be related to the music videos ‘Weakness’ and ‘All Knowing and All Agony’, so any triggering content within them may also be mentioned. Read at your own discretion and stay safe!

Disability: some brief (important) historical context

It is only within the last few decades that those who are disabled have been ‘seen’ for the first time. A modern society is (ideally) expected to be built to include and accommodate for disability, and to acknowledge disabled people’s existence. But for many countries (even the ones making steps outlined above) this is still not the case. For a very, very long time, globally, that has not been the case.

For most disabled people, society makes it very clear that they are a burden to it and are better off not existing.

I’m going to make this section as succinct as possible because...it’s heavy stuff. But it’s important, and I want you all to get the gist of what I’m saying. The weight of it.

Let’s highlight a piece of history regarding IQ and eugenics, surrounding the publication and subsequent worldwide reception of ‘The Kallikak Family: A Study in the Heredity of Feeble-mindedness’ by Henry Herbert Goddard in 1913:

“In 1927, it was used as evidence in the case of Buck v. Bell, which culminated in a Supreme Court ruling that the involuntary sterilization of ‘mentally defective’ persons was not unconstitutional in the United States. By 1938, thirty-three US states had passed laws allowing for the forced sterilization of women with learning disabilities and twenty-nine had made sterilization compulsory for people who were thought to have genetic conditions. Many European countries followed suit: Denmark in 1929, then Norway in 1934, and after that Sweden, Finland, Estonia, Iceland, Czechoslovakia, Yugoslavia, Latvia, Hungary and Turkey.”

— Limburg, J. (2021) Letters To My Weird Sisters: On Autism and Feminism, p. 126

This history of a ‘sterilization law’ includes Japan, who between 1948 and 1996 enacted the Eugenics Protection Law which “authorised the sterilization of people with intellectual disabilities, mental illnesses or hereditary disorders.” According to the government, about 25,000 were sterilized.

SO. It’s important to bring this up. To establish how much disabled people are not wanted, just from their governments. Let alone society. To this day, disabled people are hidden away from the public by families that are ashamed of their existence.

Japanese culture values collectivism, and maintaining the harmony of a group...to the extent of excluding those that don’t fit into the mould. That are different.

The question is: where do they go? The ones that are publicly rejected?

Haruka and The Curious Case of Distant Waters

Okay that’s enough of the heavy real-world stuff! Time to delve into some...*checks notes*...heavy fictional stuff. Fun!

Haruka’s MVs prominently display themes of distance and separation through the motif of water, specifically being submerged underwater.

The name Haruka reinforces this concept as the specific kanji used (遥) translates to ‘distant’, ‘remote’ or ‘far away’. As there are many, many kanji choices for the name (including but not limited to: ocean/sea, eternity/permeance, clear/distinct/obvious, and spring/growth/cherry blossom) it feels like a particularly cruel and intentional choice to go with that one.

Through the exploration of this motif, we can see the extent in which Otherness/the state of being ‘Other’ drives Haruka to great lengths to close the distance and escape it.

What I noticed throughout both MVs (particularly AK&AA but note the beginning scene of Weakness), is that whenever Haruka looks at himself in a reflective surface (e.g. the vanity mirror, the fish tank), water either begins to rise and overwhelms him, or is already there and he appears submerged:

I think this is the “All-Knowing” part of AK&AA. He knows he’s different, and he knows there’s a huge ocean between him and his peers, his family, everyone. A disconnect when trying to listen and understand, but also when trying to be understood by others and listened to himself.

You know when you submerge your head in water, and your hearing gets all muffled and incomprehensible? And have you ever tried speaking underwater? You can’t, because if you open your mouth you’ll drown. It’ll just come out as bubbles rising to the surface.

I also think the bubbles symbolise rising tension, between what he wants and what he currently has. Bubbles are everywhere in these MVs, even in places where they shouldn’t logically be? Such as this scene, following the line “don’t wipe me out, don’t wipe me out”:

Immediately pans up to Haruka gasping for breath, droplets of water rising from...somewhere. For about a split second, and they’re gone.

This boy is really going through it. I’m getting an ‘emerging from the ocean before I drown’ vibe from this one folks. When the line that follows this scene is “I can’t stop, I can’t stop”, what I’m REALLY hearing is “I can’t stop (killing) or I’ll drown”. This is his lifeboat, pulling him out from the depths of being neglected and hidden away, into the spotlight.

Some interesting images from Weakness in relation to that (of spotlights):

Anyways, onto the next point:

Blue to Orange: Water to...Nectar?

So, the orange liquid. It’s clearly representing blood, but I don’t think this is just a “danganronpa pink blood” situation of censoring/getting this video onto youtube without restrictions.

I think it’s most likely honey, specifically nectar.

The etymology of the word nectar shows its compounds translate to “death” and “overcoming”. Nectar is also called the drink of the gods, so it would make sense for it to be a ‘death-defeating’, immortalizing liquid.

For Haruka’s victims to contain nectar is very interesting. It reinforces that necessity to kill, to take the life of another, to sustain himself. To overcome the ‘living death’ he is experiencing by being hidden away from society.

This is his means of escape from drowning.

However, as we all know, things don’t turn out great for him. By the end of AK&AA Haruka is rejected once again by his mother, after which the door is shut (the light with it is gone too) and we’re met with this imagery:

The nectar floods the room, engulfing him much like the water from earlier.

There are many things we could take from this. One being that the nectar-gathering/killing-spree has clouded his vision; it’s so sweet, so sickly sweet and he’s addicted to the taste of attention, even if it’s very bad attention.

Who else has honey imagery in their MV again?

Oh, right.

Anyway, the nectar/honey situation could also be representing submerging into an even further level of distance. All that murder is gonna push people away, despite his motive being to close the gap between him and normal people. The 'ocean’ has lost clarity and become a maddening, delusional substance. After all, there is a type of honey literally called ‘mad honey’ known for its medicinal and hallucinogenic properties.

That’s enough about honey, though. Let’s move onto less unfortunate... oh, sorry, what was that? *checks notes*...Ah, yes. I meant to say, let’s move onto even more unfortunate symbolism:

The Necklace

So, this necklace. Haruka steals it from his mother’s belongings, and is his only material, physical connection to her. It is taken on the declaration of “making (her) love me again” and getting her attention once more, now he is no longer a child but a teenager closer to adulthood (at least, that’s what I consider the ‘shirt with a vest sweater and tie’ to represent. child him = the blue polo, teenager him = this one, adult him = an amalgamation of his teenager clothes).

I wasn’t sure if this was an opal or pearl/mother of pearl, but I’m leaning towards opal from the other depiction of it in Weakness:

Opals are fun because they can symbolise both good luck and bad luck, usually to do with whether it’s your birthstone. There’s something to be said of Haruka’s belief in his ‘misfortune’ and the superstition surrounding these gemstones.

But they are even more interesting for the powers they supposedly have; in medieval times the opal was considered the ‘patron of thieves’ for their ability to grant the wearer invisibility.

There is a deliciously sad irony to Haruka’s theft with that titbit of information.

Now, if this isn’t an opal, and it’s a pearl/mother of pearl there’s still some fun interpretation to be had! A little less sad, even. Pearls invoke strong imagery of the sea, of purity, and of a connection to the maternal. If this is the last thing he has relating to his mother, I can see this necklace representing a lifeline when he’s deep in the ocean. A reminder of why he’s doing all of this killing, and who it’s for.

His mother’s attention (or the idea of having a mother at all, any mother) is his driving force in life.

Speaking of that...

So We Really Need To Talk About That Fish Tank: AKA, Why Haruka’s Mom Wins ‘The Worst Parent of The Year’ Award

This fucking fish tank.

Okay, I’m gonna start by saying: I don’t think this is reading too far into things. When it takes an animation team months, sometimes years to create a 3-5 minute music video, and one as detailed as this...you don’t just wing it. There are storyboards, there are key frames and there are choices made down to the smallest of details.

From the sheer volume of animal/insect/fish décor that resides in the Sakurai household, you bet I’m gonna pay attention to what type of fish are in that fish tank.

For one thing, they live in saltwater. This is a marine tank, aka the harder choice of aquarium to have. I mean, way, WAY harder. For the experienced only.

These fish right here? One is a clownfish, and the other is a yellow boxfish.

Boxfish are a nightmare to keep alive. This article goes into more detail than I will, but all you need to know is: if there was ever a fish out of all the fish you could possibly want in your tank, this is the one to avoid like the plague.

They release deadly toxins when stressed, as a survival instinct. Boom. All your fish are dead. They need to eat a shit ton of food, but are notoriously clumsy swimmers and slow eaters. Boom. Starving, stressed out boxfish. Boxfish either dies from starvation or dies from stress and toxins.

For Haruka’s mom to have not just one of these fuckers, but a tank consisting ONLY OF MULTIPLE BOXFISH AND CLOWNFISH...

This is a high-maintenance tank. And it shows how much time and effort, how much care she puts into the things she loves.

How neglectful she is as a parent of a disabled child in contrast.

There’s something about the last scene between Haruka and his mother that reinforces this for me:

Haruka’s relationship with animals and himself: AKA, “why don’t I just become the damn fish tank?”

Let me backpedal a little bit. This subheading will make sense in a minute.

So, like I said earlier we have a lot of décor in this house relating to insects and fish. We also have a lot of pets. Both living and dead, taxidermized creatures in one household, proudly on display.

I think this may have created some confusion for Haruka regarding the value of animals being alive or dead, as in his perspective his mother values both equally. The fish in a tank may be full of alive creatures, but they’re still on display as if it’s artwork. Isn’t breaking the glass of a framed picture of a fish equal to breaking the glass of a tank with a ‘picture of living fish’?

(This isn’t to say Haruka is clueless to the impact of his actions, nor to justify any harm to animals. I just find the train of thought to be intriguing.)

So when considering these ‘objects’ are proud trophies of his work:

This is a carefully arranged display, which by the way, doesn’t contain a single fish. In fact the only piece of that moment visible here is the...large piece of driftwood? Okay. Keep that in mind.

We proceed into Haruka’s mother opening the door and seeing her son, for the first time in any of the MVs. Note the way they composed this shot:

I’m obsessed with this scene. The blue eye framing Haruka, with a literal fishbowl effect on him...

He is the goddamn fish in the aquarium now. His mother’s full attention is on him and him alone, with only the dead animals, the books, the lamp and the driftwood as window dressing to this wonderful display.

Doesn’t it just scream “Look at me! Look at what I did, mom!” to you?

That blue spotlight is on him once more. He is not just drifting deeper into an endless ocean, but contained in a vessel to be stared at.

One Last Observation

I didn’t know where to fit this in but I think the end feels appropriate.

His clothing here:

Is a frankenstein-esque mash up of clothes from his younger years. He wears this throughout AK&AA, and as I mentioned before it signifies him as an adult. However, I should clarify what I mean here as Haruka says “he thinks he’s 17″ and “doesn’t care about his age”. So... not an adult, but on the cusp of adulthood.

But I think he actually does care about his age, and quite a lot too.

This outfit feels symbolic of refusing to let go of the past, and of himself as a child. He’s literally grown out of his clothing, but he still clings onto it. He’s attached to the past because it not only contains his happiest moments, but the change from being loved to becoming neglected.

As a disabled person, you’re often treated with a lot more forgiveness when you’re younger. That is to say, some people don’t realise that children with disabilities grow up into adults with disabilities. There is a point where even support from medical and social services drops off like a cliff edge once you turn 18.

The ill-fitting clothing in this context becomes more than a reflection on Haruka’s feelings, and extends to reflecting society’s feelings on disabled adults ‘refusing to grow up’.

I don’t blame Haruka for holding onto his childhood like this. He’ll be even less publicly visible and seen once he is no longer a pitiful child, but a ‘weird’ adult in ill-fitting, children’s clothes.

#milgram #haruka sakurai #analysis #weakness #all-knowing and all-agony #symbolism #disability #*drops this onto the fandom like a ton of bricks* hi i'm new here pleasure to meet u #oh man I finally finished it... this is a very (and I mean a VERY) long post asdfghjkl #I'm pretty happy with how it turned out though! I got most of the things I wanted to say and point out down #believe it or not there was actually MORE I could've said but I think tumblr may have crashed on me if I did that lmao #particularly to do with Weakness as I focused more on AK&AA here. but anyways #I love how morally grey everyone is in this series! It makes for some really fun analysis!#it's so so nice seeing a disabled character in such a position too and not just 'is a cinnamon roll' or 'the devil reincarnate' yknow #I debated leaving in the real-world history stuff but I think it sets the tone of my analysis pretty well and shows the importance of--#--haruka's disability not as a justification of his actions but as a vital backdrop to his environment and struggles

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autisticredhood · 2 years

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jason showing off robin acrobatic moves

batman #410

batman: utrh

arkham knight annual #1

#me: oh he loves to do his flippys!!!#me: oh. no matter what universe or tragedy that happens to him the shadow of being robin will always live on inside him....#ok back to actually reading ak annual now. i couldnt resist making the comparison first #my very correct opinions #red hood #arkham knight jason #robin jason

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missr3n3 · 1 year

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what should we call these two? wretched duo? bad vibes duo? YouTuber (derogatory) duo? Darwin Award duo?

#the mandela catalogue #mandela catalogue fanart #tmc fanart #ak mystifying oracle #mystifying oracle #adam murray #tmc adam #joel hayes #joel mystifying oracle #eye strain tw #mandela catalyst spoilers #r3n3 art stuff #joel takes one look at this undying lil meow meow and goes 'oh cool now i can do all the rly dangerous challenge videos'#'adam come here and snort this nutmeg cmon do it for the vine'

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hypaalicious · 2 months

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#OH BITCH I KNOW THAT’S RIGHT #Jessica I was not familiar with your game #I thought all you did was cry #but now you grew up #and keeping your foot on ppl’s necks #I have no choice but to stan #AK is so good with these storylines holy shit #but unfortunately I just hate anything coming out of Columbia at this point LMAO #just capitalist vultures from Rhine Lab to Blacksteel #but hey I guess HG modeled Columbia after America so I suppose it tracks #come catastrophes or wakes of vultures #arknights #明日方舟

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pixel8 · 1 year

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Last session recap: AK casts command on the Kobold Queen and she just walks off her high throne and fucking dies instantly

#thus ak inherits the throne all hail the new kobold queen #video #animation #ak-4077 #kobold #kobold queen #dnd #c #art #pixel8 #pixel8_bee #killing her was not the intention I just wanted to make her easier to hit akfkakckwkdka #sudden and unexpected victory #oh ya and also ak is floating cause he was cursed to float like a helium balloon for the day

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intriq · 2 months

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chapter 1 of my fic;

I’m sorry I’m the one you love

i went w this title cus it fits how i perceive AK jason feels towards being loved (he feels unworthy of it ur honor)

keep in mind this fic is.. gonna be both fluff filled AND angst filled (did you think i’d ever let you and jason always be happy? lmao no. ur getting the same treatment my ocs do)

In the eyes of the world, you didn’t matter. You were nothing more than a pest, a filthy rat scurrying around Gotham City. Even if you haven’t lived here your whole life, you still became a part of it’s problem. Not like you had any choice, considering you were but a child. Long since abandoned by your parents in a city you’ve since skipped and left, you find surviving in Gotham just as hard. But it’s tolerable. You know how to defend yourself, with bruises and healing knuckles to match. Gotham wasn’t an easy place to survive, much less for someone who barely knew how the city worked. All you knew is that danger was constantly lurking, in every corner and every street. You had no wariness of who the streets belonged to, of the rules etched into its architecture. All you knew of was survival.

Scavenging whenever you could, stashing the little food you could. Of course, because of you being essentially new to Gotham you weren’t aware of the rules. Or the territories and who owned what. All you knew was to run and fight to survive. Perhaps thats why he took a pittance to you. Seeing you do your hardest to survive, like him. He’s a scrawny kid, like you are. You’re both doing what you need to, in order to survive. The first time he’d seen you scrambling to steal food in the section of Crime Alley that he’d gotten in exchange for selling out his parents, Jason felt like you and him would get along. Defending this strip of land was lonely, granted him few allies considering no one wanted to even attempt to challenge him.

The first time you two talk, you worry he’ll attempt to take your hard-earned spoils like anyone else had. You’d clutched them closer to yourself, almost glaring and poised to strike like a snarling dog. The only difference being the lack of bared teeth. At the time, you were more like a wounded, cornered animal. You’d been injured because of a previous fight, pain flaring in what felt like all over whenever you attempted to move. So moving around was futile, the headache that accompanied it being the source of most of your discomfort.

It was cold, as cold as the alley you called home was dirty. It smelled and was located right outside some bar that smelled absolutely horrid. A putrid stench that lingered and seeped into the clothes of whoever hung around it. The stench clung to both you and him, mixing with the smell of car exhaust, trash, gasoline, and the other smells that clung to Gotham about as well as it’s crime rate.

But that’s fine. Jason’s been sitting still, inching closer to you every few hours. You’ve been defensive, and Jason doesn’t quite get why he is bothering at all to get you to trust him.

The first week he meets you it’s all he seems to do. When he’s finding himself food he can’t help but let his thoughts drift back to you, the only other scrappy kid that has bothered to stay around in what is essentially his turf for longer than usual. Jason’s come to learn most of what makes you tick, for the most part. Like how you refuse to move when he’s present or even looking at you, how you refuse to eat when he’s present. Jason doesn’t even get why he still bothers with you.

And you?

You don’t get it either. You don’t get why this kid just keeps coming back. You don’t bother talking back to him, just sitting there and nursing what hurts. The alley smells enough to make your head pound and hiding behind the dumpster when more rowdy drunken folk stumble outside for a variety of things. But you make it work, you suppose. And you don’t mind how the free food that comes with his company. You don’t get him sometimes, though. Don’t get his tenacity. Why he still bothers.

But maybe it’s because you also don’t understand looking forward to his short, fleeting visits. But perhaps it’s the idea that the moment your stupidly painful bruises and whatever else is wrong are healed and you can move, that he’d up and disappear. The silence between you both is as equally unsettling as it is comforting. The faint chatter of drunken patrons from the bar you rest near is just loud enough to have the same faint buzz of insects. And the air is warm and putrid, filled with the hideously disgusting odors that every city such as Gotham brings. Just any other sensible Gotham kid would give you a wide berth, but yet here he is.

Here this random scrawny street kid is, insistent on getting you to trust him. He used to talk to you, or try to. His words were always met with silence on your end. But perhaps he only continues to try after the first time he heard what sounded like a faint breathy laugh underneath that sigh you’d made to cover it up. You can’t even remember what he’d said that had been funny, but he does. It was a stupid joke, something about how this disgusting alley was at least a little warmer and better than the colder, draftier parts of the city and that the warmth was the only thing that made it worth staying in. Truth be told you’d rather be anywhere but here, even back with your parents even if they just might barely give a damn. But it was warm and never smelled. Maybe that’s why you laughed, because there was places better than this shit-hole of a city you now called home.

Yeah, maybe that was it. Maybe that’s why he sticks around, you think. Jason thinks that’s why, too.

#dc universe #jason todd #may be non canon compliant #ak!jason todd x reader #ak!jason x reader #ak jason #arkham knight jason #arkhamverse #dc fanfic #arkhamverse fanfic #this is gonna be slowburn #prepare for shenanigans bc these guys r gonna ve #SO OBLIVIOUS #like so oblivious you and alfred will be standing there #going oh my god PLEASE #JUST CONFESS ALREADY #and its gonna be glorious #with angst!#intrique's dc things

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candlemouse · 2 months

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Meeting the Parents

Alex Cloudmill/Maya Dew

Ao3 Link <- Consider leaving comments/kudos here!

Butterflies brawled in Alex’s stomach, and she wiped her hands on her pants again. For like the fifth time in the past ten minutes.

No, it wasn’t Garnok rising or Sabine or Katja or—

“They’re going to love you, Alex.” Maya smiled and interlocked her fingers with Alex. “You have nothing to worry about.”

Alex shifted in the dining booth and nodded with false bravado. “I’m not nervous.”

“You don’t have to lie,” Maya said. “It’s okay to be nervous.”

Their booth in the Coffe Pot Café overlooked the Dundull bay and in the early morning, Alex could watch the fishermen set up their sails for the day.

“Okay,” Alex said. She smiled at Maya. Her warmth was so infectious, and Alex never wanted to be without it. “I’m nervous. But not as nervous as I was a few minutes ago.”

“Good,” Maya said. “Now, imagine how I felt when I had to meet the Mayor of one of the biggest and busiest cities in Jorvik because he was my girlfriend’s brother!”

It still made Alex giddy when she heard Maya call her her girlfriend. It was a novelty, okay? And even if it became habitual, Alex didn’t think her happiness at that name would fade, anyway.

“Technically, Mayor Peanut is Fort Pinta’s mayor. You just met his assistant.” Alex brought their entwined hands up and kissed Maya’s. “Besides, James is all bark and no bite.”

“To you! He immediately started quizzing me on every detail of my stay in Fort Pinta until he found another opportunity to make money.”

“He is nothing if not dedicated.”

“I think that runs in the family.”

Alex laughed.

“Maya!”

Alex straightened. Maya’s parents had arrived. They shared Maya’s green eyes, but not her red hair. As they exchanged hugs and hellos, Alex stood to the side glancing anywhere but at the family. She wasn’t used to such overt familial affection, and the brawling butterflies in her stomach had graduated to a full on fight ring.

“Ma, Pa.” Maya took Alex’s hand and smiled at her. “This is Alex.”

Alex inclined her head with an awkward smile. “Nice to meet you both.”

“Us too!” Mrs. Dew beamed.

They all sat down in the booth and continued their conversation.

“Your mother was so excited, I don’t think she spoke a single word about anything else the whole bus ride,” Mr. Dew complained.

“Well, Maya had told me so much about you, Alex, that it was hard to wait!” Her mother began to scan the menu. “Though, you must forgive me, but it’s slipped my mind what you do for a living.”

“Oh, well, I’m in druidic training at the moment,” Alex replied. She was sure it was not what her girlfriend’s parents wanted to hear—that she was joining a secretive religious sect, but there wasn’t much truth Alex was able to tell Maya’s parents. So, she was trying not to lie when she could. If everyone knew about the true danger and magic of the world…maybe it would be better. But, alas, Fripp would have her head. Not that he doesn’t already have a million reasons to be mad at her, anyway. “But, I help my brother out at Fort Pinta sometimes, too.”

“Druidic training?” Mr. Dew asked. “That’s…”

“Remember our blacksmith back in the day, honey? He was a druid.” Mrs. Dew pointed out.

“Alex is great at it, too, guys,” Maya said. “She’s even on this task force that helps out across Jorvik.”

“Oh! Didn’t you say you had picnics with…oh, what was their name? One of Alex’s colleagues.” Mrs. Dew said.

“Yeah, we have picnics with one of my, um, co-workers in the Forgotten Fields,” Alex said.

“That’s so darling,” Mrs. Dew said. “Do you like it in Jarlaheim?”

“Oh, Jarlaheim’s a beautiful city, but I don’t actually live there,” Alex said.

“Oh, I must have heard Maya wrong, then,” Mrs. Dew said. “Where do you live?”

“I have a house in Valedale, but I do often stay with Maya in the Harvest Counties. It’s easier that way.” Alex fiddled with the napkin in her lap. “Plus, I have a good friend in Jarlaheim that will let me crash if need be.”

“Oh good, good,” Mrs. Dew said.

The waitress came to take their drink orders and then was off.

“This Dundull weather is beautiful, isn’t it, Ma?”

“Oh, yes. I love the sea breeze,” Mrs. Dew said. She folded her napkin in her lap. “Alex, do you like Fort Pinta, Jarlaheim, or Valedale best?”

“There’s great things about all of Jorvik, of course. But, I do really like living in Jarlaheim. It reminds me of home. The music scene is really great.”

“What kind of music are you into?”

“Hip-hop. Some rock. What about you?”

“Ooh, I like Jazz,” Mrs. Dew said. “The blues.”

“She plays it non-stop,” Mr. Dew added. “Where did you say your hometown was?”

“Jorvik City.”

“We live there now! Which part?” Mrs. Dew asked.

“Governor’s Fall. I really did love it, but at some point, my family just couldn’t afford to live there anymore,” Alex said. It was bittersweet but Alex was glad for the memories she made there.

“You both will have to visit us next time in Jorvik City,” Mrs. Dew said.

“Ma, I don’t like the city. I can’t bring Elli with me.” Maya pouted. It was funny. Maya was completely at ease, as she should be with her parents, but Alex felt like she was currently acting the most professional and polite she ever has.

“I’m sure your horse will be okay for a few days alone.”

“No, she won’t.”

The conversation devolved into a light-hearted argument about Elli being able to handle some alone time that was interrupted by their waiter taking their drink orders. The dinner continued in a similar banter, and the tension that Alex had held slowly dissipated.

By the time they were exchanging goodbyes, Alex really felt close to them.

Once they were gone, Alex and Maya started walking to the Dundull stable.

“They really like you a lot, you know,” Maya said. She squeezed Alex’s hand.

Alex knew she had issues with parental figures. It was an obvious consequence of her childhood that manifested in both avoidance and over-attachment to her older mentors. Especially with Elizabeth gone, Alex felt like she had to re-confront all her mental struggles all over again.

She was glad to have Maya by her side, and a small part of her hoped that one day, just maybe, she could call Maya’s parents her own.

Ao3 Link <- Consider leaving comments/kudos here!

#Alex cloudmill #maya dew #ssoblr #sso #star stable online #star stable #fanfiction #sso fic #fanfic #OH MY GOD I FROGOT A LINE BREAK AT FIRST I AK SO SORRY

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