#OC: Varda | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lamemaster · 3 months

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I Dropped College to Become a Dark Lord

Genre: Crack, Modern guy in Middle Earth

Pairing: tbh

Summary: At first look, Melkor’s form seemed to be devoid of any sort of essence. A chill ran through the Valar as they considered the possibility of his escape. Tulkas and Orome had almost packed up for their adventure to Middle Earth. But then they had felt it. A sudden surge of life.

AN: I think I am kinda funny. Nothing more.

PART 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

“So, am I the bad guy?” Derek asked. They had somehow managed to reign in the emotions that ran wild in everyone’s mind. Introductions had been made and Derek got to know that Melkor is the name of the body he currently finds himself in.

“Yeah, no shit Melko- “

“Mandos!” the sky bluish light, who he had come to know as Manwe exclaimed.

Much to Derek’s dismay both the Vala switched back to the horrid Valarin. For beings who were the very source of music, one would expect a language calming, soothing, and sweeter than any other. Valarin…was horrendous. It stung in his ears like the noise of thousand nails scratching a blackboard.

He could understand it but trust him it was not worth it. It was the worst culture shock…worse than finding out his body’s origin.

Melkor, the body he entered, is none other than the ultimate bad boy of this world. A criminal who just barely got his parole on nepotism basis at that. Too bad he isn’t here to rejoice or anything. Derek wondered if the dark lord died or the worse possibility, Melkor switched bodies with him.

It was an amusing thought to imagine the dark lord as an engineering student. If there was anything worse than the endless void, it had to be the dark alleys of STEM. Well, he was glad that the report due the next day was not his problem now.

A distant, saner, part of Derek’s mind was still in the midst of processing the fact that he might indeed be dead in his world. His parents, his siblings, or roommates would find out and they would grieve for him. Or if they would delight in the chance of meeting his dark lord version.

The name Illuvatar had remained in Melkor’s memories, the only name that remained. All else was gone with him and so Derek tried it. ‘Umm…excuse me…Illuvatar are you there?’ Derek tried to talk to the possible god and his creator in this world. He had to be the one who must have had any idea of the stupid situation. ‘Am I still Derek? Or am I truly Melkor with an identity crisis or wait am I future Melkor and I time traveled back here. I mean it would be quiet a fall for Melkor to end up as an engineering student but hey it is a possibility.’ he tried asking, only to ramble and sound stupid in his inner monologue. None replied. Head empty no thoughts.

Well damn. This one’s got to have some daddy issues for sure. Derek wondered as he telepathically tried leaving a message for Illuvatar (don’t ask him how. He’s new to the whole thing. Trust the process).

‘ To Illuvatar, I do not know if this is you or not, but I must tell you I am not Melkor. Like I am in his body and it’s super weird. I don’t know if your feral son is dead (if he can die…) or not. I am just kind of in his body. I hope you can like tell me something about this all.’ P.S.- it's kinda urgent.

Hanging up the metaphorical phone Derek became aware of the quiet room. Manwe was staring at him again. It was the same look. Those puppy dog eyes just screamed of younger sibling energy. The look that siblings got seconds before they burst into tears. A precarious look for any older sibling ever.

Manwe was…bright. It was difficult to imagine how he was related to Melkor. Long white hair, glimmering blue eyes, and blue robes to maintain the angelic aesthetic. Manwe was pure innocence and uncorrupted power at the same time.

Melkor on the other hand. Well… Derek kinda could see himself without a mirror or anything. It was a Valar thing. A perk some would say. Just closing his eyes and he could see his form. He had almost screeched at his own reflection.

Melkor was…handsome. Sexy in the ‘I’ll be your fall from grace’ way. Dark black hair, the darkest there could be. Eyes bright like Manwe’s yet, there were glowing golden with the fervor of molten lava buried in the depth of the Earth. And contrasting such stark features was the palest skin ever. It was unlike Manwe’s healthy and flush tan. No Melkor was the supreme edge lord.

“Brother can you still not hear it?” Manwe asked. Derek, who had zoned out, realized that the focus from the previous quarrel had shifted back on him.

“Hear what?” Derek questioned. Was he supposed to hear something? Oh shit! Did someone call Melkor? It was hard remembering to respond to people when they called someone else’s name. Plus, he wasn’t that keen on the idea of discussing this weird possession with the guy who quite literally was a major simp for his brother. The idea of Manwe finding out his brother’s soul was gone was something scarier than Valarin.

With a barely concealed wince, Manwe replied “Do you not hear the music? The song of Arda? What about Illuvatar can you sense him?” Yikes, am I supposed to Derek wondered? To say or not to say, that is the question.

“I think don’t he can Manwe.” Another one of the Vala spoke instead of Melkor. If Derek remembered correctly, he was Ulmo. The Vala of seas, oceans, and rivers was visible in every facet of his personality and looks. Dark blue hair in the very predictably wavy in the fashion of waves, not that Derek disapproved of it. His first impression of Ulmo was that of the quiet kid who actually turns out to be really smart. The quiet kid you should not mess with. ‘Poseidon, Aquaman,’ Derek’s brain unhelpfully listed.

By the looks of it, Ulmo’s words did not sit well with Manwe. “I mean it is not difficult to see Manwe.” Mandos, the Vala who hated Melkor the most, added in support of Ulmo. It was surprising that even Derek felt the heavy animosity. And Derek was nothing if not dense.

Manwe continued to ignore Mandos and Ulmo collectively. “Can you truly not hear it Melkor?” he asked with an uncomfortably consistent eye contact. From his peripheral vision, Derek could see Varda take a step towards them.

“No,” Derek replied. “I cannot hear music or the song you speak of,” and the air in the room stilled. Everything fell silent as Manwe nodded in acceptance. However, Derek was not done. It was time to rip the bandage.

“I don’t remember anyone. I don’t know you or as matter of fact myse- “

“YOU MORON! WHERE IS MY MAIA?” before Derek could have completed his sentence he interrupted and was then promptly strangled by an unseen force. He truly had not seen it coming.

Put back the bandage he distantly wondered.

The room erupted in Chaos as Varda jumped in to save Manwe, who jumped in to save Melkor, who was attacked by Aule who was simultaneously being pulled away by Yavanna.

Chaos came to Valinor. Yet not the chaos that rained destruction but the chaos that mingled with the order to retain the world.

“He…he has returned.”

In the darkest canopy of unvisited forests, a voice whispered with a trace of hysterical joy. The sole existence of those woods. A shadow that lamented in unlit lands.

Once glazed eyes caught the first reflection of the light they once held. Ashen gray hair ignited as if a fire rekindled. Hair that now changed into the blistered red shade of flames. Gone was the lament and mourning.

Mairon had come to life.

“Master Melkor returned,” the silent trees of bleak woods shivered with fear as the fire captured them in its grasp.

With a crazed smile, Mairon wondered if it was time to go get his master back to their lands. Utumno would be rebuilt, and order would be restored.

So, it began as Mairon started making his way to Valinor.

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cyaneworks · 2 months

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Commish for King_Daihatsu Big boss Daihatsu chilling at the end of another day~

🚬🦊

🎨Commissions🎨

🌳 Link tree 🌳

Support my Ko-Fi or Patreon so I can keep working on comics! >3< thanks a bunch!

#anthro #daihatsu #fanart #furry #oc #art #bunny #fox #mushroom #pinupgirl #rabbit #varda #xilote

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urwendii · 2 months

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Written for Femslash February

Sequel of this drabble by @cilil

Rating: T Pairing: Varda x Nilmírëa (oc) x Ilmarë

The loss of the Trees had plunged Valinor in great chaos, deprived of the Hallowed Light, a Noldor Rebellion, an unsuccessful chase for their fallen and depraved kin, Varda could not feel any less disheartened if her heartbreak was not a swirling tempest of hatred.

Twice, they had asked Fëanáro for his help, but the arrogant fool was spewing the poison Melkor had so cleverly fed him, even convincing the Noldo that his folly of rebellion came from his own mind. Varda could only imagine what futile endeavour their so-called Cry for Freedom would result in. Her husband had cried for peace and negotiation, but even his seemingly endless patience had limits in the wake of so much carnage.

The Doom takes them then! Varda feared not the dark, Queen of the stars she was, but the vast expanse of the cosmos was her canvas. She climbed the circular stairs, leading to the upper rooms of her observatory, a complex of cosy rooms made for enjoying a rest or pursuing scholarly avenues in a calmer setting.

However, when she let herself in one of the rooms, adjacent to the Library, she found two of her maidens giggling, sprawled half dressed on the plush carpets.

Raising an eyebrow, she surveyed the scene with nonplussed amusement.

"May I know what this is about?"

Ilmarë was the first one to let out a startled squeaky sound as she stumbled back to her feet. Her eyes were wide and unfocused, the pupils dilated and tried as she might to appear contrite, there was the ghost of a laughter bubbling behind closed lips. Nilmírëa was tying back her robes and tried to stand up too, only to dramatically fail in her task. The laughter that erupted from both Maiar was a little wild, a little too carefree, a little too-

Varda's eyes fell on the empty discarded box of chocolates, a glittery pink ribbon a better explanation than any of the half slurred, half giggled words the other two women babbled about.

"How many times have I told people to not accept any food or beverage that comes from Irmo?" She sighed with only half felt exasperation. Truth to be told, seeing Ilmarë and Nilmírëa in such a giddy state - even one born out of intoxicating chocolates - made Varda feel a little better. So much darkness outside and so much unknown, but for now, she thought with a sudden idea, she could indulge in a little distraction.

"Well, my two lovely Maiar, a Queen shall too be offered some fun."

Strolling with purpose to the chair standing the closest, Varda let herself fall gracefully, readjusting her raiment into a more solid shape that would serve her purpose.

“Come my darlings and let your Queen appraise you.”

Nilmírëa was blushing so prettily Varda thought with a sudden appetite, crooking one finger she ordered the Maia closer until Nilmírëa stood directly in front of her. Her silver robes had been hastily tied, leaving a shoulder exposed. Varda licked her lips in anticipation.

“Sit on my lap, Nilmírëa, you have always been so good to me.”

The Maia fell without her usual grace, all languid limbs, giggling when Varda wrapped one arm around her waist.

“Ilmarë.”

Her most trusty Maia nodded, head bobbing up and down, the rosy pout of her lips enhanced by the candlelight.

“Mistress,” she whined as she moved to kneel by Varda's feet, nuzzling her face in the Queen's dress. “‘Am sorry.”

Varda gently carded her fingers through her hair, humming a soft song. “No need to apologise, my little star. Here let me give you a kiss.” Varda tilted the pretty Maia's face upward and rewarded her lips with a soft kiss of her own. Ilmarë made a tiny sound, a little breathy thing, fingers clutching at Varda's dress with renewed insistence.

As cold and dark as the world might be outside, there was only warmth and heat between the three of them until Varda was once more called back to duties as Queen leaving two languid Maiar in her wake.

#prompt: tolkien lgdrm #varda #ilmarë #oc: nilmírëa #femslash february

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edensrose · 1 year

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ꒰❀꒱ 𝒗𝒂𝒎𝒑𝒊𝒓𝒆! 𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒖𝒓 𝒂𝒖 ❜࿔

─────── .°୭̥ ✿ˎˊ˗ “ 2k followers event ’

( ❀ ) ˙ ˖ ainur⠀〳 reader⠀ ៸៸ vampire themes ៸៸ blood mention ៸៸ biting, so much biting ៸៸ some violent themes ៸៸ dark fantasy ៸៸ royal aspects ៸៸ victorian esque ៸៸ various other tags to be listed as the au ensues ❜࿔

· ⊰ synopsis. a world where mysterious, terrible creatures of the night rule over the land from the shadows. mere myth to most yet reality to others, it seems that the latter might become more apparent as there is an uproar in the vampire royal court. this victorian esque story follows the lives of the vampire court, the internal divide between kings, the struggle of scientists fighting for humanity. . . and the war between creatures of twilight and the divine hunters that vow to eradicate them.

꒰❀꒱ please ensure that you have read the vampire legendarium and the character sheet before proceeding

꒰❀꒱ queue / masterlist.

in celebration of reaching 2k followers, I have decided to run an event that the majority of you voted for in a poll. I would like to first take this opportunity to thank each and every one of you who have supported me. I have been in the tolkien fandom for over a year and I am so happy with how far I have come. I appreciate all of you and I can only hope for smooth sailings along with greater things to come! I would also like to give a huge thanks to my darling friend @cilil , for she was the one who helpled me massively with this au! at this point, it's our au lol. love you babes<3 anyway ~

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· ⊰ notes

꒰❀꒱ the following event will work on a request system. you can request as many times as you like, however, there are only fifteen slots. depending on my mood, I might open up more slots in the future ( 21 requests — closed! )

꒰❀꒱ anyone can participate, as long as you take my rules into consideration

꒰❀꒱ requests are reader-insert based, you may request for a total of three characters in one fic

꒰❀꒱ you may request calamórë ( manwë x námo ) as well

꒰❀꒱ please send in a prompt from below and a character. you do not have to provide plot but you can if you so wish

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· ⊰ prompts

( ❀ ) ˙ ˖ dialogue

"don't vampires live forever? that's a long time. . ." "you make me sick."

"for a so-called 'expert', your strategies are kind of weak."

"you're everything I ever wanted..."

"you can run, but you cannot hide. "

"holy water. how original. "

"if you bite me, will I die?"

"please don't be afraid of me."

"your blood is intoxicating. if I start, I don’t think I could ever stop." "I trust you."

"I want you to turn me."

"what are you?"

“you’re hurting me!”

"you are/are not a monster."

"don't come any closer!"

"I don't want to hurt you."

"if you’re going to sit there bleeding, at least have the decency to offer me some to drink."

"please, just give me a chance!"

"what happens if two vampires drink from each other?" "would you like to find out?"

"you're not just the friendly gentleman/lady, are you?"

"scared, darling?"

"hold still and this won't hurt as much."

“don’t you dare lie to me!”

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( ❀ ) ˙ ˖ scenarios

ʚ A and B knew each other in the past, and A is heartbroken and betrayed seeing that B is a vampire Hunter now. B has to now try to regain this trust.

ʚ B finally finds A, but after taking one glance at their terrified form, they can't bare to finish carrying out their mission.

ʚ A and B are in a forbidden romance, as they are either a vampire or vampire hunter

ʚ A is a hunter and thinks that they are misleading B, a vampire. little do they know that B already knows what they are and is playing them as well

ʚ A is a human and in a relationship with B, a vampire who is trying to keep them safe from other vampires

ʚ A and B are on opposite sides, A ends up defending B in a fight when their kin clash

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( ❀ ) ˙ ˖ action prompts

( angel. ) reader is tricked by the beauty of vampire and is thus lured into a dangerous sutuation.

( accident. ) vampire/vampire hunter accidentally hurts reader.

( authority. ) vampire / vampire hunter shows their authority over reader.

( awaken. ) reader awakes as a vampire with the one who turned them at their side.

( battle. ) reader and vampire / vampire hunter are on opposite sides, they find themselves in a battle.

( betrayal. ) vampire / vampire hunter betrays reader ( or vice versa ).

( bite. ) vampire bites the reader on their ( neck / wrist / thigh / body part ) to drink their blood.

( bloodlust. ) vampire has gone too long without feeding, base instincts taking over, the reader finds them.

( capture. ) reader is captured by vampire / vampire hunter ( or vice versa ).

( chase. ) reader runs from either a vampire / vampire hunter.

( control. ) vampire has to control themselves from draining the reader dry.

( dance. ) reader and vampire / vampire hunter share a tense or intimate dance.

( discover. ) reader discovers what the other actually is, a vampire / vampire hunter.

( duty. ) vampire hunter has to decide whether to choose duty over love when they discover what the reader truly is.

( gift. ) human reader gifts vampire roses without knowledge of its effects.

( gold. ) reader sees vampire hunter's golden wounds.

( intentional. ) vampire / vampire hunter intentionally hurts reader either out of spite or to obtain information from them.

( interrogation. ) vampire / vampire hunter interrogates reader.

( protective. ) vampire / vampire hunter expresses protectiveness over reader.

( rescue. ) vampire hunter / vampire saves reader.

( reveal. ) vampire / vampire hunter reveals to reader what they really are.

( sacrifice. ) vampire / vampire hunter sacrifices themselves for reader.

( sadistic. ) reader finds themselves in a situation with a sadistic-driven vampire / vampire hunter.

( stake. ) after finding out the other is a vampire, the reader tries to stake them.

( temptation. ) vampire tempts reader with immortality or the idea of staying by their side for all eternity.

( trapped. ) reader finds themselves trapped in the vampire royal castle / the hunters' domain

( turn. ) vampire turns the reader into one of them.

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vampiric-dolly-draws · 1 year

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Ambrosia outfits!! her main one and her aerial hoop attire!!

#local vampire does an art more @ 11 #secrets of atheria #oc #original character #character design #vampire #vampire oc #outfit design #digital art #illustration #reference sheet #oc shit: ambrosia varda #artist on tumblr

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sniperct · 1 year

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2022 in fanfiction

2022 was a pretty good year for me writing wise! Here are the fics I wrote and/or finished in 2022! There are 28 of them so I'll put it under a read more. Titles are links!

Kindred Spirits 5813 words (E)

(Frozen/Assassin's Creed) | Elsa/Kassandra (Assassin's Creed)

It has been six years since Elsa last saw Kassandra. A lot can change in six years, especially after a great deal of self-discovery and solid ground under foot.

But she's going to get some answers this time. About who Kass really is and just how mutual their emotions really are.

Assuming she can think straight long enough to get those answers.

Your Better Self 36175 words (M)

(Frozen/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventures) | Elsa/Cassandra (Tangled)

Handmaiden, fighter, friend, villain. Cass has been all of these things and more, but she still doesn't know who she's supposed to be, or who she even wants to be. Somewhere, there has to be the answer. She didn't expect to find it buried in the snow, but she'd let her happiness be guided by orbiting someone else before and that's the last thing she wants to do again.

Elsa has her family, her friends. She has her duty and her purpose. She knows what it's like to long for something unknown and maybe, just maybe, she can help Cassandra find hers.

The Laws of Motion 28659 words (M)

(Frozen) | Elsa/Honeymaren

When disaster strikes during her Olympic long program, Elsa finds her hopes and dreams shattered. Recovery is a long and frustrating road, but Honeymaren and Anna are determined to make sure she doesn't have to go through it alone.

The Perils of Paint 2238 words (E)

(Frozen) | Elsa/Honeymaren

Elsa's latest cosplay requires a bit of body paint. As in nearly her full body. Honeymaren of course volunteers to help, and the view is far too nice to resist.

Working the Tension Out 2543 words (E)

(Frozen/World of Warcraft) | Elsa/Jaina Proudmoore

In which Elsa seduces her own wife into getting laid on her throne. It didn't really take much effort.

A Thousand Ways to Love a Woman 7723 words (T)

(Legend of Korra) | Korrasami

There are a thousand ways to love a woman. A thousand languages that a body could speak. A series of fics all about little moments between the Avatar and the Inventor.

Worth the Wait 2597 words (E)

(Final Fantasy VII Remake) | Aerith/Tifa

Forty-five days. Aerith had waited forty-five days since her first kiss with Tifa on New Years for the promised time alone on Valentine's Day. And Tifa was determined to make sure it was worth the wait.

Harmony 2739 words (E)

(Frozen) | Elsa/Honeymaren

Though the Forest is no longer trapped, a foggy night can still bring back a claustrophobic feeling. Elsa finds Honeymaren in need of comfort, and one thing leads to another…

Parlay 2596 words (T)

(Frozen) | Elsa/Red

Eight months after the events of Polar Nights: Cast Into Darkness, Captain Red has finally sailed her way back to northern waters. The Snow Queen pays the ship a visit, just to say hello.

And to steal her hat. And probably her heart.

Wild Things 693 words (T)

(Frozen) General

Sometimes, Anna worries about what her sister is becoming. There’s a wild look in Elsa’s eyes, and she isn’t always fully there. And the more and more she becomes lost in the memories of the past, the farther and farther away she seems. It feels like some ancient myth, or something otherworldly and Fae.

Scars and Memories

(Frozen) | Elsa/Red 2175 words (E)

Below decks, in the privacy of her cabin, Red and Elsa bare themselves in more ways than one. Red has scars from a life at sea, and like water, scars are memories.

Unfamiliar Skies

(Frozen/Final Fantasy XIV) | Elsa/Y'shtola Rhul 3121 words (T)

Y’shtola refused to accept that life was as rare as she’d been told. That the universe would end in cold emptiness, no light left to cast shadow. That Etherius was the only star with life upon it. There were other stars out there, untouched by the song of Oblivion. So, a first step, that first bridge, and here she was standing beneath an unfamiliar sky.

Gal Pals

(Legend of Korra) | Korrasami 2069 words (T)

Asami has always been in love with Korra, but when she agrees to be her girlfriend for a night to help get some guy off Korra's back, she gets much more than she bargained for.

Sleeping Giants

(Tomb Raider/Godzilla) Lara Croft/Samantha Nishimura

1965 words (T)

Monarch had been the only ones to believe Lara and Sam after their ordeal on Yamatai, and the reasons for that became clear in the wake of San Francisco. Now, Lara and Sam have returned to the island they barely survived, to dig deeper into the mystery of what lies beneath. Something slumbers, and there may be a connection to the Sun Queen and Yamatai's history.

A Bit Nippy

(Frozen/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventures) | Elsa/Cassandra

1479 words (T)

It's late at night at Corona Pizzeria, and the woman of Cass's dreams just walked through the door.

Killer Queen

(World of Warcraft) | Jaina Proudmoore/Sylvanas Windrunner

10173 words (E)

A mysterious singer, men turning up dead, and Jaina piecing together the common thread in the people they'd hurt.

The woman's voice rattling in her head, cutting her to the quick, asking her if justice is ever truly served.

“Surely there are better ways to ensure men like that get what they deserve?"

Lights Dancing in the Sky

(Frozen/World of Warcraft) | Elsa/Jaina Proudmoore

1068 words

It's the first Polar Nights festival since Jaina married Elsa, and the two take a chance to gaze at the emerald lights while their friends gather around a nearby campfire. Jaina reflects on where she's come from and where she is now.

Selfish Love

(Final Fantasy XIV) | Minfilia Warde/Warrior of Light (female)

7190 words (T)

Though the last of Hydaelyn's power had been used to send her champions to face the end of all things, a small, tiny spark remained. And with that spark she gave form and life to her favored soul.

And with the beginning of a new era, the Warrior of Light finds herself once again returning to the Waking Sands, drawn by a familiar feeling and the anticipation of second chances.

Keeping Faith

(The Silmarillion/Rings of Power) | Galadriel/Tar-Miriel

9538 words (E)

Long has Tar-Míriel worn a mask to hide her true allegiances, but the arrival of a Noldor in her court threatens to upend that balance. And yet, she cannot help herself. A discussion of Shadows, a relieving of tension, and a keeping of the faith.

When the Numbers Run Together

(Bioshock Infinite/Frozen/World of Warcraft) | Elizabeth/Elsa/Jaina Proudmoore

555 words (T)

Jaina, Elsa and Elizabeth have been working on a theoretical project but the solution apparently involves flirting and cuddling.

Rising Stars

(The Silmarillion) | Tar-Miriel/Varda 1468 words (T)

On Númenor's last night before its Doom, the Queen seeks respite with old statues in dead gardens, and receives a visitor glittering with the light of the stars. Through the Star-Kindler, perhaps she can find some sort of salvation.

springtime in the rain

(Frozen/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventures) | Elsa/Cassandra

436 words

Cassandra's heart is hard. She's had to be, after everything, after the way her life has fallen apart.

But it is springtime in the rain and she sees the woman dancing there in the glade, the way she sparkles and shimmers as the water falls all about her and a crack begins to form in the thick, charred layer on the surface of her heart.

The Oatmeal Treason

(Frozen) | Kristanna and Elsamaren 842 words (T)

After many weeks of heavy work, Anna has been looking forward to a nice breakfast treat in the form of apple oatmeal. But someone has absconded with her breakfast and Queen Anna is on the case!

Big Sky

(Frozen/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventures) | Elsa/Cassandra

15269 words (M)

A bandit. A kidnapping. A cross-country ride. Or, that time Cassandra was hired to kidnap a horse-rancher's wife and get her safely to San Francisco. Falling in love was not supposed to be in the cards.

A Monster Like Me

(Frozen/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventures) | Elsa/Cassandra

946 words (T)

Elsa fled to the North Mountain. Anna never came for her. Isolation and solitude turn out to not be what she'd wanted. Cursed with the form of a wolf, Cassandra has ran wild and free for years, until she stumbles upon an Ice Queen and her castle. Two cursed beings and the walls that crumble between them.

Nuclear Fusion

(Frozen/Rapunzel's Tangled Adventures/World of Warcraft) | Elsa/Jaina Proudmoore & Rapunzel/Sylvanas Windrunner. Bonus Kristanna

4702 words (M)

Elsa has learned over the past four years that it was important to make a good impression, especially with a new advanced physics professor. But the professor is very hot, Elsa is very gay, and things just got a lot more complicated all around.

Yearning

(Frozen) | Elsa/Original Female Character 27459 words (M)

With Elsa pulling further and further away from the people who love her, Queen Iduna acts on a hunch, bringing in a maidservant for Elsa in the hopes that someone near her age might help her come out of her shell.

Unsure if she'll even succeed, Céleste works bit by bit to help Elsa help herself and to open back up to Anna. And Elsa begins to remember that there are good, warm things in the world, if she'll only let herself have them.

But falling in love is simply not allowed, so they must only dance around each other, yearning for that which they cannot have.

Handfuls of Dust

(World of Warcraft) | Jaina Proudmoore/Sylvanas Windrunner, Thalyssra/Tyrande Whisperwind, Alleria Windrunner/Liadrin/Valeera Sanguinar

103552 words (E)

An old threat looms in the north and yet another rises to the surface…

The Compact has stood for fifteen years. In that time, Jaina and Sylvanas’s relationship has transformed them from bitter enemies to stalwart lovers and the Horde and Alliance have closely followed suit.

And yet, a shadowy conspiracy, a few well-timed assassinations, and a rising tide of war threatens to tear the world apart.

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ccthewriter · 1 year

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CC’s Top 10 New Watch Ranking - March 2023

Every month on Letterboxd, I make a list of the 10 best films I’ve seen for the first time. It’s a fun way to compare movies separated in time, genre, and country of origin, and helps me keep track of what I’m watching! This is a breakdown of those films.

March! A month of frost and defiant sunlight; mud and budding flowers. As winter is besieged by a burgeoning spring, I stay inside watching movies until the predominant weather isn’t Wet. This month is always defined by Blank Check’s March Madness poll, and the accompanying community tradition of March Sadness. We watch one movie from each director as they’re knocked out of the competition. I didn’t fully complete my Sadness this year, but those that I did see have soared to the top of the list. I adore this podcast and its community - it really is the reason I’m a movie fan in the first place. The accidental theme that emerged from my Sadness picks are Futures We Did Not Imagine. Each film features characters whose visions of their lives have changed. Some find themselves in better worlds than they could have imagined; others are left in the cold wake of their dreams.

Click below to read the breakdown! Click HERE for the list on Letterboxd!

10. Perfect Blue

1997 - Satoshi Kon

I remember watching Paranoia Agent on Toonami when I was a kid. It was one of the first weeks I had a TV in my room. A little 10” screen that sat four feet away from my bed, so I’d have to strain my eyes in the dark to see the image. I didn’t understand why Cartoon Network changed at night. It felt haunted. It felt like living creepypasta. This movie returns me to that feeling. There’s an immense sense of dread as Mima’s life begins to spin apart in delusion horror. She’s a popstar turned actress whose support staff keep getting murdered. As the film goes on, she questions whether she’s done something to cause these death, perhaps killing them herself in a psychotic break. Though I did not find this quite as insightful or visually impressive as Paprika or Millennium Actress, it’s still one of the best anime movies ever made. It captures an incredible spirit of thrill and horror.

9. La Ciénaga

2001 - Lucrecia Martel

A slow and horrifying film that embodies the lazy, muggy, sodden days of summer. Not the invigorating heat of a vacation from school: these are the endless bored days stuck under a parent’s thumb, where they are trying to ignore you from existence and maintain a Malibu buzz. Brought to mind certain Florida vacations with my family. Martel has created a very specific familial web that feels lived in and real. The adults want nothing to do with their kids, but demand their constant attention. The kids fight to create their own fun, and are allowed to play with rifles. Their upper-middle class airs makes them feel possessive over their hired help. Class struggles, incest, and bored cruelty all intermingle in an Argentine villa. I enjoyed it for the breadth of wonderful performances, which seems to reach hyperreal levels of embodiment through unshowy moments. The way these characters don’t look at each at dinner says so much about what their relationships are like.

8. No

2012 - Pablo Larraín

Few films I have seen so embody the feeling of a specific moment of history. This is achieved by this movie’s main attraction - it is shot entirely using equipment that existed in the year of the film’s setting, 1988. There’s a VHS, television incandescence to every frame. All the shots are slightly fuzzy, rainbow-tinted. This reinforces perfectly the rainbow logo at the center of the film. The Pinochet regime has been forced to hold a popular vote to see if YES, the dictatorship should continue, or NO, the country should democratize. A young advertising exec is hired by the NO campaign to sell their message. Gael García Bernal aces this performance, embodying someone who believes in the cause, but believes in their own talent more. He’s so jaded, so disbelieving in any sort of grand victory. And yet he wakes up and finds himself living it. The advertising dream he sold is real. I adored this for the visual style, that performance, but also the underlying message about the nature of dictatorships. It’s a self-defeating impulse. People crave freedom in the deepest part of their soul, and will strive to achieve it no matter what. Fascism always contains the seeds of its own destruction. Happiness, joy, life itself are gravitational forces that will draw the public towards freedom.

7. Sunshine

2007 - Danny Boyle

From my Letterboxd review:

“Humanity pushed to the brink. Some find peace in the little things, some focus on what has to be done, some discover they are avenging angels who need to enact the whims of a bloodthirsty god. Others sit in peace and tend their gardens.

I don't think I would have liked this so much if I had seen it before the pandemic. I know what people are like when facing an uncertain oblivion now. The visual styling is *incredible.* The way Boyle uses overlapping reflections and nonsensical, out-of-focus shapes is just immaculate. He's inspired me to pick up my old digital camera and use it for all its worth! If nothing else, watch this for some truly remarkable transitions between shots. Love the crunchiness of the sci-fi, love the leaps of fancy, *love* all the performances. Just an incredible treat through and through.”

6. An Cailín Ciúin

2022 - Colm Bairéad

An Irish film!! I would feel legally obligated to celebrate a work as Gaeilge no matter what, but I can proudly say that this is a brilliant film worthy of attention regardless. Cáit is the titular child, bullied and neglected by her poor family. They send her off to her mother’s better-off cousin for the summer. She slowly opens up under their care, experiencing the joys of a small farm house in scenes that reminded me of My Neighbor Totoro, in terms of their pastoral beauty. She discovers tragedy among her new caretakers, too, and fragments of cruelty among her neighbors. Though she must ultimately return to her unhappy home, she holds on to the lessons of this summer forever, having found strength to voice her worries and stand up for her own joy. I mean, that sounds fucking brilliant, doesn’t it? This is beautiful and precious and painted in gorgeous colors. I’m really honing in on this live-action Miyazaki quality. It’s a small film of a young girl’s journey closer to adulthood. It’s simply so beautiful to witness.

5. Mississippi Masala

1991- Mira Nair

I wanted to watch this because I heard it was one of the most romantic, sexy movies of all time. It certainly contains that, but its reputation overshadows the intense drama and other types of love shown in the film. Mina is a child living in Uganda, who is forced to leave her home after the new political regime threatens the Indian minority population. Twenty years later, she’s living in Mississippi at the motel her family runs, without peers or dreams. All that changes when Demetrius, played by Denzel Washington, arrives in her life. He inspires her to find a new path in life. Her family holds a lot of baggage around their romance, painted by their experience in Uganda and good old fashioned American racism. But ultimately, they embrace that they can’t keep controlling her future. If they want her to be happy, they have to let her go. It’s a sweeping narrative that focuses on an interesting intersection of history and identity that I haven’t seen spoken of anywhere else. I adore this central romance, which seems so genuine and spontaneous. I adore the complex web of characters that shape Mina’s life. It’s a beautiful demonstration that no romance happens in a vacuum, that we all carry the expectations of the people around us and the history we have lived through. It makes the ending so triumphant.

4. Le Bonheur

1965 - Agnès Varda

I know Wes Anderson fucking loves this film. The colors, the brilliant staging, the reinforcement of every character through a very specific visual theme. It is brilliant. You can tell Varda helped make The Young Girls of Rochefort. They share a perfection in imagemaking. This film tells the story of a young family over the course of a few seasons. They start in brilliant, shining, happy Summer, like a family in a postcard, and pass towards the cooler weeks of Autumn. François, the husband, develops an affair with a woman at the post office. The title of the film means Happiness, and as it goes on you realize that the happiness they’re focusing on is his. He gets everything he wants - a beautiful home, a great job, adorable kids, and a self-sacrificing wife who would do anything for him. The meandering aesthetic joy of the film turns sharp when he reveals he’s having an affair, and asks his wife to be ok with it. It’s her duty to protect his happiness, after all. It makes him a better husband. She agrees - and then takes her own life a few moments later. Even in the wake of her death, we see his happiness become paramount. His mistress becomes the new mother to his children, and all their other family members seem perfectly happy with this arrangement. The brilliant feminist thinking that goes into this film demonstrates this period of history where the entire world really was built around men’s happiness. Reality seems to contort itself so that he never, for a moment, has to feel too guilty, too responsible. The technicolor joy continues. By the end of the film, we suspect that the vivid, beautiful colors may be achieved with lead-based paint. There’s a little arsenic in that palette.

3. Metropolis

1927 - Fritz Lang

From Letterboxd: “Capital G Great film, even if it is an exhausting watch that ends in a lame both-sidesy message. Pleased to see that critics for decades have pointed out the stupidly simple moral center. Still, incredible to think such a massive, visually inventive work is nearly a century old. Contains every big budget narrative that can be: sci-fi, fantasy, disaster, thriller, spy, horror... simply immense.”

I enjoyed this as a historical artifact more than an actual movie, if that makes sense. It really is impressive to see how grand these sets and costumes were. In terms of actual flow, it felt like work to get through. But I feel richer for having completed it. I finally understand why that dang poster is so iconic! Having had some time to reflect on this, I think the most powerful thing within the movie is its reflection of Weimar Republic thinking. The two forces, the oppressed underclass and the all-powerful dictator shake hands at the end of this film. THE HEAD AND THE HANDS MUST BE MEDIATED BY THE HEART, the film loudly proclaims. That Heart is the church. These people really thought that their society could be balanced through this little arrangement… but barely a decade later, Germany would see how wrong they were. This overwhelming liberal idea that the two sides just need to talk it out, or be mediated by some mystical third force, is a false fantasy. There is no reason the underclass shouldn’t have just fucking murdered this dictator who engineered their oppression! Whose only redeeming act was, at the very last minute, realizing he had fucked up. I hope people watching this film in the present day embrace the warning surrounding this film, rather than the message the film itself wants to send. If our world is going to survive, we are going to need a much stronger sense of justice than can be found here. We have to hold the architects of these global, fascistic systems responsible for the terror they have bred.

2. Alphaville

1965 - Jean-Luc Godard

From Letterboxd: “Finally, a Godard that I'm crazy about. A film that speaks to this moment of history where the AI question looms on the horizon. Is it technology that should be nuked out of existence? Something to quarantine and ignore? To surrender to? I can't deny that I, too, view the people who give their lives up to this fad as mutants. I despise how willing some people are to surrender to it, who salivate at the idea of their own obsolesce.

"Yes, Machine Alpha, think for me. Make my art. I will close my eyes and consume what you wish. I will walk the path you lay out for me. Your thinking must be perfect, because I do not understand it. The man in the white coat doesn't understand, either, and that must be good too. I'm so afraid of anything I can know - make my future opaque."

These folks will stumble around like blind ants, too, when life forces them to confront the messy realities of human existence that machines can't predict. The loose craft of this film reinforces that idea. This is a near-future made of things Godard found lying around, shot with on-the-fly impulsivity. Its messy edges are the point. You have to strive to understand it. You have to communicate with the filmmaker - you have to connect with a human being.

It's all about love, folks. Everything in your life, past, present, and future: it just comes down to love.”

1. Platform

2000 - Jia Zhangke

From Letterboxd: “There are days when you look out at your life and realize everything has changed. The vision you once held for the future is now impossible. How did it happen? Slowly. So slowly. A thousand small decisions made every day, plus ordinances passed down from echelons of power you'll never touch. At least you're alive. That's alright. Maybe the next generation will find the dreams you left behind. Maybe they'll even live them.

Phenomenally slow-burning slice of life, admittedly a bit inaccessible if you're not familiar with this part of history. But the small changes that suddenly become global shifts are *fascinating* to track. Everyone's being towed around on a hacked tractor, then you blink and everyone has a car. It's amazing to see these idealistic kids quietly give up on their dreams. They put them away on the shelf, waiting for the time to be right, and a few decades pass before they realize the moment never came. The train flew past the platform, and it's never coming round again.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! If you liked any of these thoughts feel free to follow me on Letterboxd, where I post reviews and keep meticulous track of every movie I watch. Look forward to more posts like these next month!

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the-broken-monster · 2 years

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Whats this?

Non chimeras?

#my art #oc art #kolbold #Varda and Jaspy

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astraldrake · 8 months

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revisiting an old armor design and experimenting with text

#my art #astraldrake's art #destiny 2 #OC: Varda #destiny the game #i miss gambit prime (<- never did reckoning enough to get a full set of anything)#post preview freakin' GUNCHED her so if she looks crusty just click on her and it should get better #got this idea while working on the malfesance catalyst #this was originally part of a set of two so if i ever finish the other one ill post em' both

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a-world-of-whimsy-5 · 1 year

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Plot bunnies scheduled for release

✴ Námo hated his brother then. "Let me go!" he pleaded. Tears streaked down his cheeks, blinding him. "I beg of you! Let me go to her! Please just let me go to her! I need to save her! Let me save her!"

The Doomsman’s wrath - Námo x OC, 1/5/2023

✴ Uinen rose to her feet with a start. "Your grace," she said, dusting her skirts and fixing her hair. Then she remembered her manners and dropped into a deep curtsy. "My pardons. I did not know you were here."

By the light of the stars - Varda x Uinen, 4/5/2023

#The valar #The ainur #the silmarillion #Námo #Varda #Uinen #OC

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deadwolfonfire · 7 months

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Day 4: books

OC Leone Varda

#traditional art #original character #hyggetober #inktober #inktober 2023 #taur

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lamemaster · 1 year

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Love That Writes My Doom

Wordcount: 6.3 k

Genre: tragic romance

Pairing: Eonwe x OC

Summary: While most Valar had tangible elements there were some who held abstract domains. Nienna shed her tears that carried sympathy for all, Nessa danced with youth, and Irmo provided healing, so it was not surprising but why would there be a Maia for lust?

Note: sorry this is kinda long but I did not want to split into chapters because this was word building practice for me.

It had been a long time since the trees of Telperion and Laurelin had been withered by the hands of Melkor. Since then, Anar and Ithil had emerged to grace the skies of Elbereth. Even though the passage of time had been a vague concept to the Ainur, it had not gone unnoticed. Months, years, decades, ages grated on their sense of restlessness.

Even the surreal gardens of Lórien did little to quench the yearning for the halls they had once been mere thoughts of Illuvatar. Nevertheless, silver lakes and trees that lulled everyone present into a peaceful mood were a source of healing to many.

Long ago these gardens had hosted the roots of Telperion. Dimly lit halls of Irmo were surrounded by trees that were nurtured by the dew of Telperion during its wake. Enchanted by gifts of Aule’s mist and Yavanna’s poppies, Lórien brought joy to aggrieved hearts.

Ulmo, who was seldom found outside of his seas and oceans, too cherished the gardens that were devoid of noise that lingered throughout Arda. The Vala of water visited Irmo to find solace when the burdens of Arda grew heavy on his shoulders.

Nightingales sang a mellow tune, in a tone that rang of acceptance of the past and hope for the future. Such songs were loved by Quendi who came here after the Halls of Mandos.

However, all the peace and quiet was lost to Eönwë. He wandered the gardens aimlessly. These songs were a reminder of the past that he had to forget and let go of.

The Valar had gathered for the festival of spring. Maiar from all over the Valinor had come over to witness Yavanna’s blessings. Some came in their chosen hroa whereas others drifted formlessly. The Valar rested by the shimmering fountains as they reminisced about their days of creation.

Eönwë had been dismissed by his Vala. He had been trailing after Manwe and Varda when his Vala had turned to face him and urged him to relax while enjoying the sights Lórien offered. He had bowed his head and accepted it. He had already made a choice and the choice had been his Vala. He would stand by it no matter what it cost him.

But now as he roamed alone, he could help but be mournful. His anticipation had worn off long ago. It was clear that she would not be coming. The gardens of Lórien were brimming were Ainur yet, the one he desired the most was nowhere to be found. He had never experienced such solitude before.

Coming to existence was a blur even to Eönwë. He had felt the warmth of Illuvatar’s conscience in the first few moments of his coming to life. Then in the next instant he had for the first time met Manwe. The purpose of his being came to him in those few minutes. He was the herald of the Valar and the Chief of the Maiar. Great deeds of valor were written in his song, and he had embraced it from the very beginning.

For ages, he served his Vala, Manwe. Next to his master, he had witnessed joy, peace, contentment, and sorrow. He experienced love, anger, care, and most of all the fulfillment of his purpose. Manwe and Elbereth had been kind to him. In Arda, where the music shaped everything, he had found solace in the rulers of the entire world. Estrangement from Illuvatar was made easier by all the affection the King and Queen of Arda had showered on him.

But as he walked Irmo’s halls he could help but ponder about the only one who had evaded the feast. Isolated and aggrieved, would her heart be swayed by the same dark that had clutched Melkor’s essence? She had every right to resent the Blessed Realm that was a solace to many. A resentment well earned by the entire kingdom.

An abrupt fear grappled Eönwë’s mind. Had not everyone in Valinor expected that of her already? It would prove everyone correct. Most of all his Vala. A cruel song that did not waver from its path. Was her fall part of the song etched into Arda’s fate in the first place? She had evaded it once but how long would she hold the weight of everyone’s scrutiny? If so, then that fall would drag him with her. End of him and her…it would be fitting.

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Years ago, they had met for the first time. It was miraculous that despite existing thoughts of the same being they had been ignorant of each other. At least he had been. He had not seen her before that day. In fact, he had assumed her to be one of the newer Ainur.

It had been a gathering in Vana’s fields. The quendi had all come for Oromë’s hunts whereas the Valar had met to witness the merriment of their subjects. He had accompanied Manwe, Varda, and Ilmarë. It was pleasant to forget the wounds left behind by the marring of Arda.

Unlike most feasts and banquets of Valinor, the gatherings hosted by Vana and Oromë were quite… tempestuous to say the least. Away from Aule’s creations and marbled halls of Taniquetil, Vana hosted a celebration in valleys of flowers that bloomed with Yavanna’s powers.

Luminescent moss covered the ground to form the softest carpet. Trees rejuvenated and huddled together to make a thick canopy that shielded from cold winds but left Varda’s sky viewable during the night. During such celebrations, even the Valar indulged in food and drinks well-loved the Quendi.

Oromë’s horn could be heard throughout the woods as the game of hunt was initiated. While quendi and some Maiar competed in the hunt, the rest stayed back in Vana’s company.

Music flowed freely and it would be a task of utmost depravity to look away from Nessa’s dance that blessed the land. The strain of ages vanished when Vana and Nessa danced. Nessa’s powers gave life and revitalized anyone who bore witness to her dance. The dance, which soon was joined by her Maia, then some quendi ventured in, and soon even ever mellow Nienna had a slight smile on her face. Maybe at that moment, her tears were of joy.

All this Eönwë watched from a distance. He had been accompanied by Ilmarë who had just been dragged into dancing by one of the Maia of Yavanna. He was watching them all dance and for a moment it was easy to imagine that they had all played their part in the song, Arda’s music had been finished and they were back in The Timeless Hall of their father.

His eyes had lost focus and somehow, he found himself plopped on the ground with his back resting by a tree. All the voices and sounds had dulled into nothingness and the dark sky was all he could see. Dancing Maiar were blobs of color his eyes refused to focus on. It was not fatigue but the nothingness of the moment that made him so calm. Everything dulled and he wondered if he could feel Illuvatar, the way Manwe did. Maybe if he tried harder, he could catch a glimpse of the music that made up the One.

His unfocused eyes were stilling when they landed on a figure. A Maia. The music…sudden jolt back into Arda pulled him from his daze. He had first seen her just when he thought he had felt a whisp of the One.

Cascading long black hair that blending into the dark sky. Glimmering silver eyes that were different from the gray stormy eyes of the Noldor. They were brighter, sharper, and ancient. If he had focused more at the moment, he would have noticed the way the crowd parted around her, singling her out as if something untouchable and despicable marred her being.

However, at that moment he did not care for anything else. His world had narrowed to her. She, who smiled despite the sly looks thrown her way. Swaying like tall blades of grass dancing to the song of the wind, she moved with an aura of carelessness and freedom. Her arms swung around idly, uncaring of all who cringed from coming in contact with her.

Surrounded by envious glares but undivided attention she twirled ignoring all who pierced her with hawk-like stares. One of those gazes was Eönwë’s. He could not help but stare. He had never seen her before. Dressed in black with a sea full of Ainur and Quendi dressed in pale blue and green robes, it was difficult not to notice.

The air surrounding them had shifted. If Eönwë had been more aware of his surroundings he would have noticed the sudden quiet of the Valar who had earlier been humming to Vana’s tune. Even the nightingales who followed Irmo had silenced their song.

This effect had not gone unnoticed by the source of it. She had known of it even before stepping into the celebration. Yet, she had dared. She had dared to come and test the residents of the blessed realm. She had scoffed at the obvious contempt and scorn thrown her way. It was all expected…

But then their eyes met. Eönwë, the herald of Maiar was staring at her. Unlike the rest, his gaze held none of the judgment that other’s eyes had carried. It was innocent and full of curiosity. His eyes were glazed with a dazed look and for a moment she wondered if he truly had been looking at her.

Mailë, she had whispered her name in his mind and that had broken Eönwë’s reverie. Then as if with a snap of fingers that music started again, and noise filled the quiet from minutes ago. Mailë…Eönwë said the name out loud in his mind and then as if hearing her name being said the Maia smiled towards his way.

Her smile was sharp just like her gaze. Everything revolving around seemed to carry biting edges. Some would call it cunning or scheming but it did not feel malicious. Eönwë had witnessed the viciousness of Morgoth and his spawns. They carried within them a sense of brutality that she did not have. There was no malintent there, he knew that.

He wanted to know…he wanted to find out more about her who seemed to live indifferent to the world around her. Despite the voice of caution, he wanted to dive right into the hidden fea behind eyes that mirrored Telperion.

“Don’t go near her,” his step flattered as he felt a tug on his arm. It was Andate, a Maia under his wing. Andate had been younger, it hadn’t been long since he had honed a hroa. Eönwë and Ilmarë had found themselves quite taken by the curiosity of the Maia who had once been a dove in the ponds of Taniquetil.

Before Eönwë could caution him to speak carefully. It was quite rude to speak- “she’s the Maia of lust,” Andate had whispered much quieter than his last words.

Lust… Eönwë had not known of it. He had heard of Melkor succumbing to it, Mairon falling for it, but he had not known of its existence.

While most Valar had tangible elements there were some who held abstract domains. Nienna shed her tears that carried sympathy for all, Nessa danced with youth, and Irmo provided healing, so it was not surprising but why would there be a Maia for lust?

Nothing good came out of it. Many had fallen blinded by it. So, what was the reason for its song’s existence?

“I’ve heard she serves no Valar,” Andate now communicated telepathically as they walked around the woods. Eönwë had lost sight of Mailë when he had been distracted by the fluttering dove by his side.

“Some say she served Melkor but even he failed to overpower her. Stay away from her Eönwë. It is said that she can influence anyone to fall under her spell,” it seemed unlikely that Mailë would care enough to lay spells on anyone, but Eönwë let Andate talk his mind.

He had nodded in assent and found a very pleased Andate. The prospect of saving his senior from the scheming Maia seemed to have puffed the dove’s feathers.

Eönwë had thought that to be the end of the topic yet, it had not been it. He had been caressing the tired nightingales and sparrows when he met her again. With one nightingale in his hands, one each on both his shoulders and one on his head he had stumbled upon Mailë who turned around just in time to witness the party of birds heading her way.

“Pfft-” she barely held in her laugh, “tucking in your dear fellows?” Some impression the herald of the Valar had made on her. Looking at the startled birds and Eönwë with equally wide-open eyes she struggled to maintain her suave smile. The sight in front of her eyes threatened to crack her unmoved façade.

From what she could see one of the birds on Eönwë’s head had tugged his hair quite painfully in its claw.

“Here…let me just,” she tried to pull away the still bird who held Eönwë’s hair without letting it go. All five of the birds, including Eönwë, stilled, unmoving as she extracted the one who ended to rip Eönwë’s scalp off. Ripping the stubborn bird off she had tried, to the best of her abilities, to fix Eönwë’s messed up braids.

Eönwë could not believe that he had walked in front of the Maia of lust in the silliest possible way. Now that he looked at Ólsónd, who now sat frozen in Mailë hands, he believed it served the bird right for trying to uproot all his hair and almost making him screech in front of another Ainur.

“Are you seeing them off to their nest?” Mailë asked again and Eönwë realized how awkwardly quiet he had been. Well for his part he was trying not to yank the stupid bird in her hands. For some weird reason, Ólsónd let out the shrillest chirps as the other Maia pet its feathers. He could feel the wandering eyes of the other birds who were very much staying on him.

“Ah! Yes,” seeing the approaching nests Eönwë rashly put the bird in his hands in its nest. “Here we are,” he turned to Ólsónd, “his nest is here.” He took a reluctant Ólsónd from Mailë and put him in his nest. One second more of him and Eönwë would have physically closed its beak.

“Rest well,” it was good that Mailë could not see Eönwë’s gleeful expression in return for Ólsónd’s offended squeak. Then with equal enthusiasm, he tucked the rest of his companions.

“What do you-”

“I’ll leave-”

Eönwë cut off his sentence as he saw Mailë do that as well. He did not want her to leave. Not yet. So, he tried again.

“You can-”

“Go ahead-”

They both paused. The quiet making things even more embarrassing between them. It was a scary possibility that they would end up speaking at the same time again. Before any one of them could take the step to speak up an indignant squeak from Ólsónd the sparrow interrupted them.

“Hah,” Mailë gently covered her mouth as her shoulders shook with slight tremors. Giving up on whatever semblance she held on to, she let go of her hand and felt waves of laughter rock her body. It had been long…so long since she had laughed.

The laugh he heard was different from the smug smile in the clearing. Her eyes no longer carried the challenging look that scared many. As if a veil had been lifted to reveal a totally different painting than what she had painted for others.

Eönwë was fascinated. Lust as it seemed was not all that unfeeling after all. Soon he found himself joining in with his own giggles growing wilder. And no later than 5 minutes he found himself laughing manically with a Maia he had never met before that night. Whenever one of them tried to reel in their laugh watching the other one sent them into another fit.

What was this gleeful sense of joy? Why did it feel so freeing to laugh with someone who had not existed in his world a few hours ago? He had always been a herald, a chief, reliable, dependable, clear-headed but never was he just Eönwë.

Being with Mailë, who was just Mailë and nothing less or nothing more, he felt he could be just Eönwë for those few moments. Weight of Arda, the loud of music around them, duties, and expectations dulled into background noise.

That night no one noticed Eönwë’s absence from the clearing. None would have cared for Mailë anyway. The world went on without them and for once they were grateful. It was liberating to not be a part of it for some stolen instances.

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“What is lust?” Eönwë tilted his head mirroring his interest. “Tell me what is it? Evil or good? Or a grey area in the middle of both?”

“Hmm,” no one had asked her that before. Holding a conversation with someone was new. Someone who did not aim to belittle her or use precious words to express their disgust. It should have scared her to talk to someone like the Maia next to her, but it didn’t. What scared her more was the impending silence that waited after he left.

“When I first gained conscience, I had felt others like me around. Maiar who had sung darker songs. Though they were all gone with Melkor. I have not heard of them since then.” Maybe she was resented by others because she resisted the fall she was supposed to experience. It made sense the blessed lands were not supposed to house the likes of her, she wondered. “As you know Arda in its primal form is destined to be marred. For its song to come to fruition the Children of Illuvatar must go through their trials. We formed those trials. Others who fell have come to play their part… and I too have done whatever fate had in store for me.”

“So, to answer your questions. I do not know if my song is good or evil. What I know is that it is needed for this world to function. Lust is not just sexual attraction between hroa. It is an all-consuming want that has often been the originator of most wild things. The Valar lusted for a world of their creation, and it was that lust that aided their efforts to make a world designed by Illuvatar, though Melkor failed to wield it and got devoured by its fervor.” A slight frown on Eönwë’s forehead made it clear that he had not found the talk of Valar pleasing in the conversation.

Uncaring Mailë continued, “Silmarils, the Lamps, the Trees, dwarves, even the languages spoken by us are the result of this unquenchable thirst that lives in our very fea. We were made to look for more, to desire, and to learn. But it is how we chose to get our wants, how we learn to not be slaves to our instincts and not succumb to the ease of this passion.”

A distant voice in her heart scoffed at her high and mighty words. ‘Trying to manipulate your morality to conquer him?’ It mocked her relentlessly. Had she truly made up all her feelings and words for the sake of Eönwë’s company or was this her truth?

She had been giddy. An unnatural feeling to her. The prospect of meeting Eönwë did that to her. A chance to sit and talk for hours. Those hours where silence was filled with joyful chatter. Was it friendship? Love? Or just the convenience of a void filled? She did not know. She had not received any of them prior to this.

Despair from all those years of resisting her fall had vanished when Eönwë walked in. It scared her how endearing he had become to her. So, she tried her best to make him stay. The idea of him leaving…she would lose herself. That would be her fall.

It was unfair to burden Eönwë with such things, but she would shield him from her darkness. Never…he would never be the one to pay the prince of their friendship. If her doom was by his hands, then so be it. It would be better than any of her long-lost kin.

One day when the songs and music would cease, that day she would be free of the labels the world had put on her. Maybe then she would be worthy of such company…

Until then she would bear this everything. She would put on an unabashed face of an abomination and attend every feast, festival, or celebration. She would end her exile for him for as long as he would allow her to come. Chat with him and treasure it. Until then she would let herself be fooled.

And when it becomes too much for him. That day she would return to her penance.

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He had waited for a week before sending the briefest note.

He wanted to show his disinterest. Make a point of his callousness. Not that he needed to. He had done enough to hurt her. Yet, he had waited to show how little it mattered to him. To disguise the note as an afterthought.

A single line written with haste. He had made sure to make it seem an effortless afterthought.

I don’t need you.

He didn’t write the paragraphs of hurtful things he had thought of throughout the week. He couldn’t bring himself to do that. What would hurt more than what he had done? He rolled the small parchment and attached it to Ólsónd’s leg. He found find her and then they would no longer be bound by anything.

He imagined how his message would find her. Her tucked away cottage or some lake deep in unvisited woods. Would she be eager for his word or had rage settled in her heart already? He had promised to meet her… by the gardens of Lórien.

He had left her waiting and then with a heart made of stone spent the rest of the week without doing anything else. She must have waited for him. Stood up by the one she had given her faith to.

Would she write him back an equally spiteful message? He hoped for her rage-filled words…those maybe could dull the pain that seared through him. He would summon Ólsónd for a last glimpse of her. If Illuvatar willed perhaps he would catch a fleeting glance of her. Something to remember the wrong he had committed against her. He would carry that as a brand for the rest of eternity that stretched beyond them.

It was only fair that he carried this burden when he had made the choice of his own convention. He had chosen his Vala and his purpose. Mailë did not matter. He tried to rationalize by repeating in his mind. He would never betray Manwe. Not after his lord had already suffered such fate at the hands of his brother.

He had found a home in Lord Manwe’s halls. He had found mercy, forgiveness, and acceptance. He and many others had found this for all, leave for one.

His Vala spared no love for the one he had loved. Lord Manwe resented lust; one thing that had doomed his brother, Melkor. It was the reason behind Arda’s marring. There were others before, but they had followed Melkor as their master. Greed, wrath, gluttony had fallen with the darkened Vala.

All leave for her. His Lord grappled with the unjust fate that dragged his brother to the pits of the void but spared the one who he thought to be the core of chaos.

So, he chose to stand by his Vala. He decided to resent her. He would force his fea, his hroa, and his heart to not crave for her. Erase her side of pleas that she had offered as an explanation, he too would despise her. He had to.

Maybe in the distant future, during the quiet hours of the night when the quendi would be busy admiring Varda’s skies and men asleep, in those hours when the world quieted down…then he might dare remember. Whisper her name to himself and reminisce the eyes with Telperion’s shine.

Until then, he would let himself burn. Let the guilt and regret hollow his heart so he would find some peace.

For weeks he tried to summon Ólsónd, the one he had sent as his messenger. He sought to contact the sparrow, but he failed every time. It was gone. It was fair… he did not deserve any mercy after what he had done. Why should he be given a last glance? He did not need it. He needed to stand true to his words. He repeated in his mind.

Then a month later he found the sparrow seated by his window. The message from its leg was gone. The finality of his actions settled in his mind like a heavy rock on the undisturbed seabed. Ripples of anxiety flooded him as he approached the silent bird.

“Show me…please…” he whispered. The sparrow stared back at him. An empty stare that held judgment. “Please,” he asked again.

Before he could beg the quiet bird, he was struck by a scene. Silver trees, gleaming lakes, and an army of red poppies that stood out from the dull and peaceful scenery. Not the isolated cottage or dense woods he had imagined to find her by. No…she had been there by the gardens. ‘Waiting for you,’ a voice whispered. A voice he tried to shun these days.

For the first time ever since his existence, he felt his legs stumble. He had never found his hroa to be this heavy before. Why had she not left? It must have been weeks when Ólsónd found her after looking for so long. What had she waited for…his words? Those words that offered no comfort for her patience.

He saw her crouched next to a tree. Her hair still dark, her robes deep violet. He saw her head snap towards the flutter of Ólsónd’s wings. The bird landed on her hand as it had when they had first met. A slight jitter of her hand betrayed the otherwise calm-faced Maia.

The twitch of her brown and almost unnoticeable tremble of her eyelash were the signs that most would not notice. But he did even as he looked through another being’s memory. He wanted to snatch away the piece of parchment from her. Take it away and never let those words go to her.

He wanted to stop. He did not want to see how he had broken the hope in her eyes. But he continued. This was small, so small compared to her pain. He deserved it.

Taking the letter Mailë, smiled. A vulnerable smile with the barest lift of her lips. Nothing like the liberal laugh he had come to love. She clutched the message in her palm and caressed the bird.

“Go,” was all he heard as his room at Taniquetil came back to view. Ólsónd’s memory ended.

Silver eyes, black hair, suave smile, warm hands, he tried to recall but all he could muster to remember was that faint smile. A knowing acceptance.

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I don’t need you

‘You should have seen it coming. It’s the truth after all. What could you offer? Nothing.’

It was the truth, but the honesty of his brief message did little to ease the pain. Some part of her tried to come up with ways, some way that she could prove her use. Her purpose…anything for him to keep her by his side. She wanted to acquire him or for him to possess her. It was her nature to want yet, she had nothing.

The silence that had been circling around her during the weeks at Lórien now gripped her mind. She had been walking for so long, but she couldn’t find him. 'Eönwë,' she wanted to call out but couldn't. He would hate her. Despise her weakness more than he already did. If she figured out any advantage, any use of having her maybe then he would come.

I don’t need you

She read it repeatedly. Stared at the words expecting them to change and say something else. An explanation for his delay or a promise of another meeting. Anything but this.

Was this what the One wanted all along? Were her sins too heavy for her to suffer? Was this the path to darkness the rest of her kin had faced? This immeasurable pain that dulled everything. Would her fall satisfy the cruel writer of the song? Did Illuvatar truly want this?

Why must she suffer scorn from others when none other had to? Even Melkor was given multiple chances. She…she wasn’t even considered.

‘Come to me.’ She felt a pull. A tug from her hroa.

‘I’ll take it away.’ The voice whispered in her mind. ‘Come.’ It said again.

Her eyes darkened. She could see her kin from the past. Greed, gluttony, and wrath before they had become Thuringwethil, Ungoliant, or Gothmog- the lord of Balrogs and many others. She had known them before the world had turned against them. Before they had trusted their father to love them as he had for the rest of his creations. It was a betrayal of their faith.

Were they all not sacred thoughts of Illuvatar? Then why did her kin have to bear the judgment of their own people?

‘Leave them,’ the insistent voice made its presence known again. ‘Join me and show them your true power. Let them see the might of the ones they have mocked.’

Yes, she could prove her worth. Then the entire world would know of her abilities and powers. Then…Eönwë would realize her merit. He would come back to her and if he didn’t then she would have him anyway. A snap of her finger would be enough to bend his will to her wish. For all the majesty of Valinor and its residents, they had yet to see her true form.

‘Yes. Show them who you are. Do it. Embrace your strength.’

Her thoughts spiraled as the voice cackled. She had heard this voice. Long ago before the fall of her kind she had heard it. The same mocking tone that had ensnared the rest of them. Promises and hateful words it was the same. She felt her steps speed up as the voice rang out in her mind.

She saw a grand hall. Dimly lit with floating shadows. She saw Maiar, Quendi, and Men all lost to her powers. Depraved and uncaring of modesty, clinging to each other. Pleasuring and being pleasured. Their eyes rolled back with ecstasy. Broken moans and whimpers rang out loud. She saw herself as well, untouched by the chaos around her and dressed immaculately in her black gown. A prideful smile on her face.

‘More! More! More!’ The screams filled the hall. She laughed. More they would get.

‘They would worship you like this,’ the voice now had a form, but she could not decipher it. It was as if the form was covered by mist. ‘How great would be a world where nothing existed leave for pleasure? Your pleasure.’ Yes, she agreed with the voice. She wanted to be worshipped and praised. Revered like the rest of her kin or perhaps even more than them.

She saw herself snap her fingers in the dream and the crowd grew louder. Many cried with completion while others grunted. A withering lady cried at her dream self’s feet. Just as she bent down to stroke her tear-stained face, she saw him.

His righteous shine unharmed from her powers. Eönwë, the herald of Valar stood unmoving and sane. Golden eyes, gleaming armor, hair that she remembered playing with. The voice shrieked in her ears, and she flinched, but it mattered little. He had come at last. Eönwë, she wanted to call out, but her words died in the loud hall.

‘Eönwë,’ she called again but he went away. The hall vanished into the darkness, and the voice left. She tried to look for the misty figure, but it was nowhere to be found. She felt wetness on her face and the awareness of her hroa came back to her.

“-dy…wa…p,” an unknown force shook her body. “Lady Mailë,” A childish voice echoed. So different from the one from her dream. She forced open her eyes and saw a shadow looming over her.

A child or more specifically a young Maia hugged her as he cried in a mournful tune. He was familiar with his golden eyes and clingy nature. Before she could ask him his name, someone spoke.

A much larger figure. She craned her neck to face them.

“I congratulate you on resisting your fall for a second time Maia Mailë,” a gentle yet quiet tone. Long silvery cloak and white hair that reached the speaker’s knees. A grieving face but not devoid of hope. It was the face she had seen in her dream. It was the one she had seen crying by her feet. Nienna, the name came to her.

Barren landscape with a gray sky. Next to her was the edge that held the void. One step away from her doom. The voice in her head had dragged her here. She had been close, so close to succumbing. It had been harder than the last time. Her will, non-existent. Still, she had made it.

Desolate Halls of Nienna stood next to her, the Valier, and the child who she had yet to remember. It was far from the grandiose of her dream, but it was better than any power. Eönwë, as it seemed, was her doom and redemption at the same time. His four words were potent enough to challenge her existence and his mere sight was greater than any illusion.

She would grieve the loss of her love but one thing that her near-fall had taught her was that whatever she felt was far greater than the entire world’s worth of pleasure or pain. She had made that choice on the edge of the world. She would choose him and pine for him over anything anyone could offer.

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In the gloomy, isolated Halls of Nienna lives a Maia. A Maia who serves no Vala not even Nienna, whose halls she resides in. It is said that the tearful Valier who takes no servants and lives alone is sometimes accompanied by a companion. One gazes into the void with sorrow and hope, and the other stares towards the looming peak of Taniquetils. Both yearning but not doomed.

It is also said that another lives in the Halls of Nienna. A Maia barely of age. They call him Ólsónd. He flutters around bringing life to the quiet. He flickers around, sings, and dances to his own songs. A close confidante of the mysterious Maia by Nienna’s side.

There also lives another Maia. A newer addition. They call him Olorin. He too does not serve Lady Nienna, instead, he learns from her the art of sympathy and empathy. With each passing day, he finds himself growing fonder of the mismatched company.

The halls of Nienna are no longer hauntingly solitary. Instead, they carry small proofs of a budding acceptance. On serene evenings, the company gathers and talks with a drum of wine snuck in from one of the cities.

Halls of Nienna where laws and etiquette of the world hold little weight.

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Eönwë waits. He obeys commands and fulfills his duties. In hope of one day meeting her again. One day when the One would unbind him from his purpose, and he would be free to love her. That day loving her would not come with the bargain of hurting Manwe,

He lives and awaits.

#the silmarillion #ainur #eonwe #Eonwe x OC #Maiar #Maia #Manwe #Varda #Nienna #OC Maia #Hurt #ansgt #sad ending #long fic #ao3fic

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