#NO ONE FUCKING JUDGE ME I AM VERY UPSET RIGHT NOW
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Antidepressants are used to treat headaches and migraines because low serotonin contributes to both headaches and depression.
Anyway I found out ginger can work with serotonin levels in a similar way that some triptan class medicine does. Which means it may help relieve a headache or migraine. It has been proven in study. But there are also not a lot of studies. It also naturally helps with nausea so at the very least there's that.
#{domino talks}#NO ONE FUCKING JUDGE ME I AM VERY UPSET RIGHT NOW#context: i have had heaches for roughly two thirds of my life and i am just now understanding this#i'm sure at SOME POINT this was explained to me#probably in middle school when i first talked to my doctor about them#because i knew that most headache treatments were just lower doses of antidepressants#but FINALLY understanding this is like#MAN this sucks#but honestly depression probably isn't a big contributing factor for me since i very rarely experience the symptoms anymore#my two main possibilities of why i have head pain everyday all the time are#that it's hereditary or/and because i have a fucking uterus and estrogen and shit#and on one hand i hope it's the latter because my mom's headaches got SIGNIFICANTLY better after menopause#and then on the other hand HER bio mom can only get relief via liquid morphine and... uh... no..#even if i was okay with that it would never be an option ╮(╯_╰)╭#but uh yeah... that's a rant I didn't know i needed
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UNLIKELY CLASH !
— rulebreaker!hobie brown x perfectionist!gn!reader
— enemies to lovers, swearing (more than last and fuck too), mutual pining, making out, small bit of harassment, rebellious teens, confused feelings, getting together
— hobie brown was everything you weren’t, so maybe that’s what attracted the two of you together so well (pt. 2)
— here part two gang! honestly i have an idea for part three in mind but if that’s something u honestly want pls lmk asap
— part 1 | part 2 (here) | part 3
The next couple of weeks were.. odd between you and Hobie.
Even after a heartfelt confession about the pressure you felt, you still had a reputation to uphold. You kept treating him the way you normally did; ignoring him and pretending he didn’t exist.
At first, this didn't really bother Hobie. He was used to chasing after you, messing with you and poking fun at the student council president. But he was getting bored. The small bits of making you late to class or taking up your time were amusing, but he wanted more of a reaction from you.
When he started interacting less and less, you grew confused. As much as you hated to admit it, you liked the attention and small interactions.
Though it was small, being late and skipping class (very rarely at this point), made you excited. It made you feel.. alive in a way.
But all that was dissipating. And you were upset about it.
You sat in your room after a long school day, mindlessly scrolling through your computer. Your parents had asked that you try and find a prom outfit, but that became boring really quick. You could never wear something truly exciting; just some fancy outfit plain coloured with fancy hair.
A knock on your window startled you from your thoughts. Glancing out, you see Hobie looking in, motioning for you to open the window. You walk over confused, deciding to open the window.
"Brown? It's.." You glance back at your alarm clock. "..10 pm. What are you doing here?"
"Awe, come on sweetheart. After such a confession, shouldn't we be on a first name basis?" He says, inviting himself into your room.
You scoff. "One, no, as you don't use my first name. And two, you can't be here! My parents are right down the hall!"
Hobie shrugged as he looked around your room, analyzing the decor. He noticed the clean desk you had, along with a neat bookshelf of many scientific books and knick-knacks. It suited you, every detail down to the way your game console sat neatly on your TV stand, not a speck of dust in sight.
"Did you show up just to judge my room?"
Hobie shook his head. "Nah, came t' ask ya somethin'." He said, sitting on your desk chair. "Up for an adventure?"
"Excuse me?" You question, taking a seat across from him on your bed. "When?"
"Now."
You know Hobie was.. absolutely crazy in some ways. But this? Going on a random adventure on a Friday night, and asking the person he wants to go with by entering their room via window was.. not the kind of crazy you would categorize him as.
You raise your eyebrows, crossing your arms. "You serious right now?"
"As serious as I always am." He responds with a shrug. "'s up to you. We'll be gone 'till tomorrow. Either 'u're up for a challenge or not."
A challenge he says? Hobie knew that you could be riled up from being challenged to do something. Perfectionists always had to win in his eyes.
And he was right.
"Give me five minutes."
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Next thing you knew, you were on a train from your isolated little town to Brooklyn itself. Hobie blindly led you onto a train, told you to not worry about tickets, then let the train take you both to the destination in mind.
Of course Hobie remembered what you said at the tree. He had been holding onto it for a while now. He knew you wanted to go to a city, do whatever you wanted, just for a little bit. And he was going to be the one to give that to you. Why? Well, that's a question he couldn't answer for himself.
"Brooklyn?" You questioned, looking out of the train window. "Why Brooklyn?"
"You said it under the tree. Ya wanted to go to the city, no?"
You nodded slowly, looking back out the window with a small smile. Of course you were flattered that he remembered your words. At least, you were hoping he did, you practically poured your feelings out.
Once the train stopped, you both stepped out of the station to admire the tall buildings towering over you. Hobie couldn’t help but be amused at the way your eyes shined at the new scenery. He practically came here everyday.
But he couldn’t tell you that. Not without plausible answers to the inevitable questions.
“So..” You turn to look at him, eyes still bright. “What do we do?”
He shrugs, hands in his vest pockets. “Whatever ya want. ‘s ‘ur day, no?”
"But I don't know where to go. I've never been to the city before."
Hobie's eyes widened for a moment, shocked at your words. You were really so sheltered you hadn't been to the city right beside your town? The thought alone was crazy to Hobie. He never understood why adults were so.. controlling.
He sighs, walking ahead. "Follow me then. I'll show ya ‘round."
And so you did just that. You followed Hobie around the city, taking in the sights he's showing you. All around the city, passing and weaving through people, making sure you had a nice time.
There was something you noticed. Before Hobie took you somewhere, he provided you with options on where to go. He didn't force you to go one place with him. He didn't strictly follow an itinerary. He always asked what you wanted to do, giving you full control of the day.
It was.. refreshing. This sense of freedom was exactly what you needed. To feel the fresh air of the city without worrying about impressing anyone. Hobie wasn't judging you, and you certainly weren't judging yourself.
The end of the day came quicker than your liking, and the two of you were on the rooftop of an apartment complex. The sun was setting behind the tall buildings, and Hobie brought the two of you some noodles to eat (he definitely didn't steal them).
You take a bite, setting the cup down with a sigh. "Today was.. actually really nice. I don't think I ever felt that, free before, if that makes sense?"
"Don't worry, you can say it." Hobie said, nudging your arm.
You roll your eyes with a small smile. "Mm.. guess I can. Thanks, Brown."
"Y'know, you can call me 'obie, swee'heart." He responded, shrugging. "'s better than m' last name, I think."
"I can't give you that satisfaction. Not yet."
Hobie raised an eyebrow, a shit-eating smirk crossing his face. "Yet?"
You're ready to correct yourself, but the words die in your throat. You couldn't help but like the sound of "yet". It meant more time with Hobie.. and you enjoyed that. Hobie's company was something you were starting to crave. Almost like a drug.
Hobie glanced over at you. "Gotta admit, didn't expect ya t' come with me. Considerin' 'ur parents don't know ya snuck out."
“Yeah well..” You sigh, looking out onto the building with a soft smile. “Maybe I just needed something different.” You finish, looking over at Hobie.
You’re suddenly very aware of how close the two of you are to each other. Hobie’s eyes flicker; your eyes, your mouth, and back a couple times. It’s almost like.. he was asking you for something. The longer you both stared, the more tempted he became, and you honestly couldn’t blame him.
So why did you pull away?
As soon as he started leaning in, you pulled back, clearing your throat. His eyes widen before narrowing, scoffing gently. Guess he misread the situation.
You really couldn’t tell him he didn’t.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
The next weeks Hobie Brown didn’t show up to school.
You had a feeling you were the cause. Brushing him off like that was such a dick move on your part. You knew that. You wanted nothing more than to find him and run to him, kissing him like there was no tomorrow.
But you couldn’t. You had an image to maintain. A reputation. All the trust you worked so hard to accumulate would go down the drain in an instant.
Of course.. Hobie may be worth that.
Hobie to you is worth that risk. All his rule breaking and crazed adventures are just what you need in your life. Something that gives you the freedom you longed for.
But you had to go and screw it up. And now here you were, three weeks after the incident, at your locker with a guy trying to talk you up.
“C’mon, [Name], just one night! It’ll change your life!”
You groan, slamming the locker shut. “Dude, I said no. Can you stop?”
“Why? I gotta know why!” He persisted, grabbing your wrist as you tried walking away.
You yank your arm away, trying to escape. “I don’t owe you that! Let me go.”
“Not until you-”
“Hey.”
You turn at the sudden voice, shocked at who it belonged to. There stood Hobie Brown, eyes filled with anger.
“They said, let go.” He said, grabbing the guy’s arm and yanking it away. “Learn t’ take a hint, aye?”
The guy’s eyes narrowed. “And who do you think you are, Brown? Their boyfriend?”
“As a matter of fac’-”
Then, Hobie turns you to him, bringing your lips to his. No warning, no asking, nothing. Just does what he’s been craving after three weeks of disappearance.
Everyone in the hallway around you two watched with shocked faces. Nobody could have seen this coming, not even you.
A thousand thoughts rushed through your head as Hobie kissed you, but one screamed to push away. So you did, giving him a shocked look before grabbing his arm and pulling him away from the scene. You drag him to a storage closet, shutting the door.
“Brown, what the hell was that?!” You immediately ask, eyes narrowed. “What, do you disappear for three weeks then kiss every person you were hanging out with? What the hell?”
Hobie sighed, leaning against a shelf behind him. “Guy needed t’ be taught a lesson. Made sure he won’t bother ya.”
“I can do that on my own!” You respond, shoving an accusing finger in his chest. “Where have you been?!”
“Thinkin’.” Is all he responds with.
You groan. “For three weeks? Shit Hobie, I..” You words fall short. You want to say it.. squeeze it out. “I.. missed you.”
Hobie’s eyes widened as he takes in your words. You.. missed him? He never would have seen this coming; a confession from the president in a dingy storage closet? Not on his bucket list.
Your eyes watch Hobie, doing that same pattern he did on the rooftop; eyes, mouth, eyes. You wanted to kiss him again.. feel those lips again on yours. No.. you needed it.
You know what? Fuck this perfect image.
You grab onto Hobie's vest, pulling him in to connect your lips. Your rough with your movements at first, closing your eyes tightly and latching onto him with a white-knuckle grip. Hobie's eyes widened for a moment before they showed a more prideful look, kissing you back with just as much emotion.
His hands find placement on your lower back, pulling you into him as the kiss escalates from one to many. Hobie was like a starved man, slotting his leg in between yours to support you, pushing you back against the shelf and knocking over some cleaning supplies.
That could be fixed later.
Your original intention of one passionate kiss to show him how you felt turned into many heated kisses. The bell for class was drowned out by how into the moment you both were.
“Fuck.. Hobie..” You whisper, diving back in for another kiss.
Hobie groaned in turn, pulling you impossibly closer. “Shit sweetheart.. can’t say m’ name like that.”
“Hmm.. why’s that..?”
“‘s gonna drive me crazy..”
Suddenly, the doorknob to the closet rattles, causing you both to pull away. Your eyes go wide as Hobie grabs it from where he stands, bringing one finger to his lips to make you stay quiet.
The person on the other side tries to open the door, but ultimately fails. They groan and mumble something before walking away. Hobie looks over at your expression, a small laugh escaping his lips.
“Let’s get out of here, yeah?” He whispers, planting a kiss to your jaw. “Or are ya gonna keep pretendin’ you’re too good for it?”
You sigh, rolling your eyes as you take his hand. "Nah, not this time. Come on."
some ppl who wanted to be tagged (🫶): @serenn08 | @rksses | @youronlyauthor | @dotheyevenknowmars | @xoxobabe
#NEW ARTICLE || OUT NOW !!#hobie brown x reader#hobie x reader#hobie brown#across the spiderverse#spider man: across the spider verse#atsv x reader#atsv#atsv hobie#hobie brown x you#spiderman#hobie spiderverse#spider man atsv
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I’ve read a few of the umpteen thousand upset comments about the paid Watcher service, and I’ve read comments angry about the upset comments. There’s one thing I want to point out, and it’s that this isn’t, or shouldn’t be, “You’re saying people don’t deserve to earn money for their work.”
The Watcher guys do deserve to earn money. I already give them money. I give them $5 a month on Patreon, not because I think they do or don’t give me $5 worth of media, but because I want to support them. I canceled Netflix for pissing me off with its price hike/ad tier, but I give Watcher Entertainment money.
They’re saying now that the Patreon will be solely about the podcasts, and they understand if people leave. I’m perfectly happy to switch the support I can afford to the streaming service. With the early adopter 30% discount, I’d actually save money. In fact, I tried to subscribe, but the site didn’t work.
Watcher wanting to profit from their shows isn’t the problem. It’s that they’re now discovering that their fanbase is young and broke in a terrible economy, judging by tens of thousands of comments on multiple platforms. I can throw them $5/month, so I do. But the Patreon only has (checks notes) 5874 paying followers, and there’s a reason for that. $60/year upfront would not be “accessible.” Patreon is literally patronage from the people who can afford it.
If the guys had said up front, “ONLY new shows and episodes will be exclusive to the service,” I think we’d be having a different conversation right now. But at first they did say, “We’re pulling all our content from YouTube,” to the point where Variety had to issue an update. Like, that’s in print and I’m pretty sure it was on video. Now they’ve backtracked to ONLY new etc.—but most people haven’t heard, and they feel crushed. And the trust is probably gone regardless.
So now four years of back catalogue will stay public. And now, you’re paying $6.99 a month for one episode, maybe two, of something a week, and now, not an exclusive back catalogue. I would pay for Watcher shows before I’d pay for anyone else, but I just don’t think the company is big enough yet for a SVOD at that price. They’re not Dropout size. They needed to build more programming and get a higher follower count first, or at the very least, charge less.
The international price/exchange rate situation is a nightmare and I don’t know what it is they’re not doing to make it… not… be like that.
I don’t know what they should have done instead of a full streaming service, but surely there were alternatives? I’ve seen comments from people suggesting they GET a Patreon. Lean on that more! Do the shows exclusive for a month and then let them roll onto YouTube! I don’t know! Anything but One More Fucking Streaming Service, which enraged me, and I was willing to move my support to it!
And I shouldn’t say this, but I will. In the “Goodbye YouTube” video the guys posted, they say that setting up the streaming service has allowed Steven to do a remake of Worth It where he and his cohosts travel the world and eat expensive food. This is the first new show they announce. Not “We have always been committed to diversity and we’re now able to bring on new creator(s) to expand our programming.” No, a redo of an old show that by definition has got to be expensive. Commenters are saying they can’t pay for the streaming service because they can’t make ends meet in this economy. The optics are terrible. I genuinely question what the thought process even was here.
I love the guys and I still watch their shows. I want to see Watcher succeed. I started watching Buzzfeed Unsolved in 2018 while recovering from surgery—as with a lot of people, their shows got me through a tough time. I’m as attached as anyone. If I can continue to afford monthly support—this is not a certainty—I’ll give it to them. I’m not a ~hater who doesn’t want Watcher to make money. But I am absolutely BAFFLED by every single decision here. I want them to figure out how to turn this around and go in a better direction, because right now, this ain’t it.
#long post#I hope nobody hates me for this but like#this is someone supporting you#this is the best I can do#and that should tell you something#watcher
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AITA for coming out as bi to my girlfriend and voicing my concerns to her
I (18M) have been dating my girlfriend, L (20F) for three years now. our relationship has been great so far, we were attracted to each other from the start. she has always been very flirty and tbh that's how she won me over at first, because teenage hormones are gonna teenage hormones y'know, but when I got to know her better as a person I realized my feelings for her weren't just sexual - she is kind, gentle, overall really sweet. I was, and still am, attracted to her in every way. L is also openly bisexual, fully out, and idk I've always felt so safe around her because she doesn't judge others, I think she's so beautiful inside and out. she has been my first girlfriend ever so I always do my best to be supportive and make her feel loved.
a few months ago I realized I'm bi. I thought, hey, since she always speaks about her own bisexuality I think I can tell her I'm bi as well. she was, as usual, very non-judgemental but she said something that I didn't like, something like "you see how much I love and trust you? someone else would've been like OMG YOU'RE PROBABLY JUST GAY AND YOU WANT TO CHEAT ON ME WITH A GUY". I was,, confused bc 1. I think supporting your partner when they come out is the bare minimum, 2. she is bisexual herself and I don't think shes gonna cheat on me with a girl, I never acted like I was great for supporting her and 3. I know I'm not gay because L can do whatever she wants with me so I dunno what that comment was for. I've enjoyed my intimate encounters with her too much to be gay and she knows this.
I was a bit annoyed but still grateful that she was supportive. I noticed our sexual activities increased after that and a part of me wondered if she was trying to make sure I'm not gay. which made her look like a bit of a hypocrite because she never had to "prove" to me that she's not gay. not complaining tho - I just found it odd? I think it's a weird double standard, but then again I know women are always putting up with double standards so I feel like I can't tell her abt how strange her comment was. I just don't want L to think I'm not attracted to her and I started feeling like an asshole for telling her I'm bi.
but she got actually upset over something else that has nothing to do with us being bi - when we first started talking, she was dating another guy. I knew this, so I was respectful, I thought that L being flirty with me was some kind of joke until she told me she was serious and she couldn't stop thinking about me. L didn't cheat on him, she broke up with him before she started dating me, and recently I told her "hey... I won't be that guy one day, right? I trust you and I know you won't cheat on me, but I remembered how our friendship first started and if you ever stop loving me I would like to know before you feel ignored enough to start flirting with other guys". she got very visibly upset, she said I was right, said she felt cheap and like a whore and ???? NOT AT ALL WHAT I FUCKING MEANT. I was trying to tell her I want us to have communication, because I love her and I want our relationship to work out.
I feel like a shitty person and boyfriend, first for telling her I'm bi even though it wouldn't have an impact on our relationship, then for trying to voice my concerns and accidentally making her feel that way.
I've apologized a few times and we're good now but she introduced me to her best friend and,, this girl just started talking abt how she will guide me so I can properly take care of L? it made me feel really stupid. I felt like a child tbh. we are bi but not poly (I respect those who are, just giving you context) so idk why she felt she had to insert her friend into our relationship. am I really so bad that my girlfriend has to ask her friend to teach me how to be good to her? I would understand this if L had some sort of disability but her friend just talks to me about BDSM and doms/subs and like ??? I feel like L being a sub has fuck all to do with our argument, but I still feel terrible. pls help me make sense of these things. I want to know if I am the asshole.
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Dethklok's reaction to knowing they're gonna die
So here I am on my bullshit once again. Just wanted to talk about that one scene from AOTD 'cause it's been haunting me lately.
First things first, the way Nathan's expression contorts with fear upon realizing that he might have fucked up, and now they're all gonna die.
Immediately Pickles' breath hitches up as he tries to confirm the information. Nathan is not any more optimistic the second time.
Then this: Pickles tries to hug Toki, who barely reacts, standing very still instead. Now this one stuck with me, why? Because Pickles is very obviously trying to keep up his 'motherly' role be there for the youngest one. Because of Toki's attitude towards Skwisgaar during AOTD, Pickles can only have concluded that the little guy wants to be physically comforted. So, that's what he does. He goes in for the hug, because Toki must be really scared of death, right?
Now I don't doubt Pickles' good intentions, but I think he's also projecting a little. He's the one having the most visceral reaction to what Nathan said. He's upset, he's terrified, he wants out. He wants to be comforted but how can he be when he's the one supporting everyone? He can't break down, he's been the backbone this whole time. So he clings to Toki, and feigns a protective role when really all he wants is to be protected right now.
Then you have these two. Skwisgaar is hunched, head hanging low, barely showing emotion. Just like Toki, he is shocked.
Murderface is avoiding sadness as ever, venting instead with his favorite projection device: Planet Piss. He's not sad about dying, oh no, he's mad he never finished Planet Piss! And he's gonna be a loser for it and that sucks! But he's not sad, he's just angry, obviously.
Skwisgaar doesn't even try to be a smartass or sarcastic. He's just defeated, it's not just them that are gonna die, everyone will. Everyone will die and nothing will matter. Nothing will have mattered at all because they will all be gone. Definitely think it's interesting that the guy with the biggest ego in Dethklok is the one thinking about how it's not just them that will meet their end, but the rest of humanity as well.
Murderface then is less mad, and more like relieved. He won't be a loser and he won't be seen as a loser because no one will be around to judge him. Speaks a lot about his fear of rejection and constant attempts to fit in. There's no one to fit in with if they're all dead.
And then we get to this, this. The callback to the infamous 'Sees you in Vallhaska' scene. This little thing right here drives me insane because, I can't believe they referenced to that scene, and because, god, the context is so much more different now.
Back then it was just the two of them, about to be slashed by MMA. And that's when Skwisgaar turns to Toki and tells him he'll see him in Valhalla. But it was just the two of them. (Important to note, though: in the season 2 finale Skwisgaar and Pickles are stuck in a similar situation but Skwisgaar doesn't initiate any interaction, and it's Pickles instead who does it, wanting to confess he managed to suck himself off before dying.)
But here is the whole band, the whole band is about to die. Scratch that, humanity as a whole is gonna vanish.
And Toki, right after Pickles tried to comfort him and he didn't react, Toki walks to Skwisgaar. He walks to Skwisgaar and only addresses him. And he says that he'll see him in the afterlife. He doesn't tell this to Dethklok, he doesn't even tell this to Pickles who just tried to support him. He doesn't even say it to Murderface who was talking to Skwisgaar just a few seconds ago. No, he says it to Skwisgaar only.
Toki tells Skwisgaar that they'll hang out everyday for eternity. And there's most likely at attempt at cheering Skwisgaar up, or even cheer himself up, or both, really. But he doesn't look thrilled about it either, he doesn't want things to end up like this. So it ends up coming as a (death) sentence, rather than comfort. And that's what Skwisgaar senses too, he knows Toki is reluctant and so is he because, fuck, is it really gonna end like this? And he's mad but so helpless too that he asks if Toki's implying they're going to hell.
And it's such a cold thing to say for sure but let's be honest the way Toki worded it didn't sound great. Not that he can be blamed really, their situation is so fucked up anyway.
But the most glaring thing about it all for me is the acknowledgment Toki has of their bond. Rather than wanting or wishing to stay with Skwisgaar forever, it's more like he knows, he feels in his heart that that's what's going to happen to them. And maybe it's not the best situation but at least they'll have each other. And that's just incredible to me.
Because back then, Skwisgaar spoke to Toki when it was just the two of them about to meet their end. Here, Toki is choosing to address Skwisgaar only when they're all about to kiss their lives goodbye. It wasn't just circumstance back then, nor is it a coincidence now, these two are tied in some way that goes beyond regular life and death, and they know it. And in a way, it's not really their choosing. It's just the way things are.
#metalocalypse#army of the doomstar#dethklok#toki wartooth#skwisgaar skwigelf#pickles the drummer#william murderface#nathan explosion#basu post#analysis#hope you guys arent tired of me doing this shit#this shit: reposting screenshots and going hogwild over analyzing every fucking sentence and expression shown by these guys djhsahjdskhsa#ive had this on my drafts for over a week already its time to post it
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So. Let's talk about virginity, sex, the pressure to both have sex and not have sex and what it means and what it doesn't mean and what desirability can mean to people.
Now, the first note on this is that this is gonna come from (my best version of) a tempered Western perspective. I am full on American and I do not know the details or in and outs of Thailand's relationship with virginity versus sex, particularly in the queer landscape. I, frankly, barely know that in Western terms. So this analysis is just me doing my best to use what the show has given me in order to discuss the idea of Mew's virginity in the series, why it matters to so many people and why it is honestly shaping a lot of the conflicts in this series.
Because literally the first scene we from the entire friend group is Boston claiming he was trying to help Mew get sex and Mew exasperatedly asking him to stop caring about that.
But it's obvious that everyone cares. And we see that again and again. Everyone seems to care that Mew is a virgin and wants that to change for him more than Mew himself down. And this is just... often, frankly, true. There is no one more bothered by someone else's virginity than someone who doesn't have theirs.
It's Boston who calls him a sweet virgin as a deterrent while To takes it as a challenge but the focus is still on that virginity and the mean of that virginity. That it means he won't be a know it all or pushy and he won't be 'like the others' (in this case like Boston) and that Top wants that as a change of pace.
But Boston is sitting right there talking to someone he fucked and hearing that from him is not what he wants to hear. Boston is very pleased to be a slut and I actually think that Top basically saying 'you're boring because you have lots of sex' is the worst insult Boston can hear and might have really started a lot of his upset we see between him and Top.
It's because Top took a part of their identity that they share, part of the reason that Boston pulled him into the group in the first place, and turned it into an insult.
And that goes back to virginity versus promiscuity that adds weight. Top is interested in Mew because he's a virgin, he's sweet, he's not going to be fierce, he's not going to be like Boston who is fierce and knows what he wants and is exceedingly comfortable with his own sexuality and specifically sex.
Because as we see, Mew is also comfortable with his sexuality. He just expresses it differently than Boston and Top do. And that's also just so important to me. Honestly,
Mew owns his sexuality and his virginity. He is not set on changing anything until he knows it is exactly what he wants and doesn't want. Top said he was going to be sweet and, frankly, he turned out just as fierce just in a different way.
(The comparison to Boston, though, the instant connection between the friends and how much they are going to hurt each other because they are constantly being compared by the world and by themselves because they have placed importance on these things and just Oh Man. The weight of Mew's virginity on everyone else and how Boston sleeps with everyone but discourages Top from going after Mew too seriously and how Ray's sex habit is obviously part of his own struggles with feeling like a burden while Boston seems to just like sex and how there's absolutely nothing wrong with any of these approaches in their own way... Ray might be fucked up but it's not because he's fucking.)
A change of pace can be something welcome you never expected and that's why Top is going to be destroyed by Mew. Because Mew, and his virginity, represent something new to him. Something different. Something he doesn't know how to handle or how to see.
I think that a big part of Boston's issue here is feeling like he is being judged based on Mew's virginity and Top's interest in that. Boston craves the feeling of desirability and thrives off it (as we've seen and continue to see) and having Top, someone he has fucked and enjoyed, express that a virgin is more desirable than he is was a blow to him and his ego and his comfort and his own view of himself.
Because when virginity is upheld rather than just something to lose (which is all Boston wants it to be, something that Mew loses) it becomes a virtue rather than something to be changed.
Yes, Top still wants to sleep with Mew. But suddenly he's looking for more.
Boston's relationship with Mew's virginity is fascinating to me. Because he is truly obsessed with Mew losing it but also with this idea that it can't be a good thing. Boston is so focused on Mew losing his virginity that when faced with the idea that Top is interested in more... he loses it a bit. Boston values himself for being sexually desirable and desired. He wants to fuck and be fucked. And to be told that Top, who is supposed to be liked him, wants something different?
It's a threat.
Boston is trying to act like he knows Top better than Top knows himself and he is pushing this idea because his own identity is deeply wrapped in casual sex for the sake of casual sex and not being interested in dating and seeing Top not just express interested in Mew specifically because he's a virgin but then to also start talking about dating him? That is a direct threat to that part of how Boston values himself, of how Boston finds his own worth.
If being good at sex is less desirable than being a virgin than what happens to Boston? If the people having the same casual sex as him are starting to think about dating, what does that say about him when he isn't?
Top is doing what he's doing because he wants to do it but, to Boston, it is a judgement against him.
I am actually very interested in this because while it is at least partially jealousy, I think there's more to this.
It's about virginity and promiscuity and how both get judged depending on who's judging and what matters to that person and Boston is suddenly seeing himself being judged in a place where he's always been comfortable.
Boston's safe and comfortable place is this club and the people he sleeps with and Top's interest in Mew is a blow not just to his ego but also a sudden change to his own self-image. He is not the desirable one despite the fact that he has shaped himself to be desirable.
Okay, I don't even know where this went.
But anyway I love how the show gave us a virgin who knows exactly what he wants (which ain't it yet) and different aspects to relying on your sexuality and I didn't talk about Ray much in this because he didn't have a lot to say directly about Mew's virginity or Top's desire of it which was my focus but Ray is using sex as an alternative to therapy and it ain't working out so hot so far for him but that's just another story.
... Anyway. Only Friends is definitely interesting and I am absolutely wondering where it goes from here because I can already see how much Boston will hurt Nick because a relationship just absolutely is not even on his radar at this point and, in fact, is entirely off his radar because it goes against all the aspects of himself he currently finds value in.
#only friends#only friends series#only friends the series#topmew#topboston#top x mew#top x boston#thai bl#thai bl meta#bl series#thai drama#thai series#thaibl#asianlgbtqdramas#asian lgbtq dramas#thai bl series#thai bl drama#bl drama#thai boys love#gmmtv#gmmtv drama#gmmtv series#gmmtv bl#ofts#ofgmm#ofgmmtv#i have a lot of thoughts on this okay?
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The Lonely Hearts Club: Part One
Summary: You decide to press pause on your relationship with Andrew Barber. Too bad your hotshot attorney of an ex-boyfriend doesn't understand the meaning of the word. Takes place directly after the events in Photo Shoot Faux Pas. Read Part Two!
Warnings: Angst, Break-ups, Cursing, Andy Being a Menace, Insecure Reader, Eventual Smut, Manhandling, Punishments, Minors DNI
A/N: Happy Valentine's Day! This multi-part fic will feature a combination of requests from the likes of @writer84, @lexivass, @moejdaw, as well as several other anonymous readers. Part of my ongoing Growing Pains Series. All mistakes are my own. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
___
“Come on, girl. You can do this.”
“Yeah, but maybe…” You trail off as you approach Andy’s front door. Fishing the key out of your pocket, you insert it into the lock. Thanks to your shaking hands, it actually takes a few seconds longer than it probably should. “Maybe I oughta wait.”
“Babe.” Your friend blows out a breath, the noise coming across the other line like static. “We’ve been over this like a dozen times already. Today is just another day; it’s no different from any other.”
Your friends had been quick to remind you that Valentine’s Day didn’t really matter. At its core, it was nothing more than a cheap gimmick big corporations used to upsell mediocre chocolate and subpar rom-coms. Right?
“I know, I know.” There really wasn’t much more you could say beyond that. Not after the two of you had painstakingly broken down every detail of this very scenario just last night. During which time you also managed to consume several bottles of wine.
You’d been all up in your feelings from the moment you’d arrived at your best friend’s house. And Sara had spent a good hour sitting with you on her living room floor, gently rocking you back and forth while you quietly sobbed into her sweater.
Andy hated it when you cried. But when you did, he was always so good at using his big body to comfort you – to calm you down. He’d been the one that you’d really wanted last night. You’d been so tempted to call him, even before the alcohol had started flowing.
However, all your girls had said “no”. And when they couldn’t get you to listen to reason, they’d instructed Sara to remove the temptation by swiping your phone and hiding it away. At the time you’d been highly upset. But now you were grateful for their interference. Because this was something you had to do.
Provided that you could make yourself stick with the fucking plan.
“Are you in yet?” Sara asks, her voice briefly snapping you back into the present.
“I am. I–I’m just gonna leave it on the table. Along with the muffins.” Squeezing your eyes shut, you brace for the sound you’re pretty sure is about to viciously assault your eardrums in three…two…one…
Here it comes.
“YOU BOUGHT HIM FUCKING MUFFINS?!” She screeches, her tone rife with stunned exasperation. “Are you being serious right now?!”
Yes, you did that. It didn’t seem right to just drop the note and run. At least not without leaving a little something else to go with it, apparently in the form of cinnamon spice crunch.
“Don’t judge me, bitch. This shit is hard enough as it is.” You growl into the receiver, setting the box of delicious smelling baked goods onto his kitchen counter. “I just wanna make sure he has something to tide him over until we – until we, um…” Gripping the edge of a chair, you force yourself to take a series of deep breaths.
“Shit, Y/N, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby.” Your friend immediately backpedals. But it doesn’t matter. It’s not like you can hear her anyway over the sound of the distant roaring in your ears. “I know this is hard, honey. But you’ve got to pull it together.”
This whole thing was making you feel ill.
Fuck! Like it or not, she was right. The last thing you wanted to do was start crying again. Because you knew if you allowed yourself to break down here, it would be impossible to stop. And that’s exactly where you could not afford to let Andrew Stephen Barber to find you right now.
Standing in the middle of his kitchen, openly crying. Desperately wanting to be held by the one man who had the power to shatter you into a million glittering pieces with nothing more than a simple touch.
And while that might seem a bit dramatic, it also didn’t make it any less true. Which meant that you needed to get out there, fast. You couldn’t allow yourself to forget that you really did have somewhere else to be. Standing up straight, you tuck Andy’s house key into the folded up piece of paper and then place it on top of the muffins.
Time to go.
Turning on your heel, you make a beeline for the exit. Hopefully you’d feel better once you were on the road. As you leave, you make a mental note to worry about everything else later. Until then, you just had to focus on the now.
“Fuck!” You hiss as the door slams closed behind you.
“What? Is Andy home? Did he –” You cut her off, feeling frustrated even as the sickly-sweet taste of regret threatens to claw its way up your throat.
“No. I just forgot to grab that stupid fucking album is all.” With a huff, you jog over to your car. “And it’s not like I can go back in for it or anything since I left him his key. Fuuuuck!” You close the driver’s side door before turning on your vehicle and putting it in gear.
“Girl, who gives a shit!” Sara snorts, clearly relieved that your activities weren’t interrupted. “Look at it this way, whether you like it or not, you just gave that ungrateful bastard something to remember you by.”
Good point, Sara. That’s exactly why she had been designated as your emotional support person for this entire emotionally draining escape.
“True.” Time to focus on the road. If traffic cooperated, you had just enough time to get yourself to your next destination without risking getting a ticket.
Not that that mattered much anymore. The days of anyone giving a shit about your potentially reckless activities were most likely a thing of the past. Oh well. You looked forward to no longer having to stock up on aloe. Yeah, the price of that stock was about to go way down.
A tiny giggle bubbles up, escaping before you can stop it.
“Are you okay, Y/N? I know that was rough back there, but I really think you did the right thing. Plus, I’ve been updating everyone on the group chat, and they all agree.” You resolve to check the thread later so that you can provide everyone with an update.
See that Andy Bear? This whole damned thing had been workshopped from start to finish. You can’t possibly accuse me of being impulsive now. You let out another burst of laughter, this one sounding a touch more hysterical than the last.
“Also, Rhea really wants to know where you got those friggin’ muffins…”
“Tell her I’ll message her with the name of the bakery later.” You merge onto the highway as you head towards downtown. “Thanks for all your help today, Sara. Couldn’t have done it without you girls.”
“Hey boo – you know we love Andy’s fine ass. We just happen to love your ass a hell of a lot more. Now drive safe and text us when you land.” You know she’s telling the truth. All of your girls were pretty darn fond of your man, but you were their girl first. And their loyalty was to you.
Something for which you were exceedingly grateful.
“You got it – talk soon.”
You end the call before settling in for the remainder of the drive. Not wanting to be alone with your thoughts, you quickly decide to turn on the radio – only to be surprised when Mariah Carey’s “We Belong Together” begins playing over the speakers.
“Wow.” You whisper with a shake of your head. “That is so not fair.”
Sometimes the gods possessed a real fucked up sense of humor.
Your bottom lip quivers as the lyrics hit home, hot tears blurring your vision. You let out an audible sniffle before dashing at them with your sleeve. But you don’t change the station. And you no longer try to stem the flow. Instead you finally give yourself over to the pain that was your heart breaking – piece by piece.
You’d talk to Andy in a couple of weeks. He’d give you space. He’d give you time. And if he didn’t want to work things out when it was all said and done…then you would have to find a way to live without him. And you would find a way.
But first, you had a plane to catch. And then you were gonna get yourself a margarita and – no – scratch that.
Make that a bottle of tequila.
___
Five hours later…
Andy shoulders his way into his house from the garage, absentmindedly toeing off his shoes as he sorts through his mail.
Bill. Bill. Junk. A Postcard from his Dentist. Another bill. And more junk.
With a grunt, he tosses the stack of unwanted papers onto the table. And then he spies the pink box resting on the counter. A smile curves its way across his handsome lips when he realizes that you must’ve stopped by at some point during the day.
But he does find it rather odd that you wouldn’t have let him know. Sure, it was Valentine’s Day, but the two of you weren’t supposed to get together until this weekend.
Still smiling, Andy makes his way over to the box of treats, humming a little tune as he goes. While he had a feeling something was going on with you lately, he’d simply chalked it up to stress. But he also knew that once he got you in his bed and settled himself between those gorgeous thighs, it was only a matter of time before he’d have you speaking in tongues…
Which would hopefully lead to you spilling your pretty little guts. So that he could finally try to fix whatever it was that kept making you seem so sad.
He picks up the note, his head tilting to the side as he tries to make sense of the meaning behind your interesting dessert choice. Confused, he decides to read your message. With a sigh, he unfolds the piece of paper. Only to be caught off guard when a key falls out and onto the surface below, the sharp clatter making him jump.
“What the fuck?” He snarls as his eyes quickly scan the tear-stained piece of paper. “No. Oh no, baby girl…fuck no…”
He could not fucking believe what he was reading.
Andrew grips the edge of the counter as his legs threaten to give out underneath him. However, it’s not until the fourth reread that it all finally clicks into place.
You'd just tried to break-up with him. On fucking Valentine’s Day of all fucking days. But if you thought that leaving him a “Dear John” letter and a box of muffins before running off to god-knows-where was going to be the end of it, then well…the joke was on you. Because there was no way in hell he was ready to let you go. At least not without one hell of fight.
"Alright." A dark chuckle escapes as he crumples the note in fist. Part of him wished that he still carried a lighter so that he could go outside and burn your fucking letter. “But make no mistake, sweetness, we’re not done here.”
However, Andrew Barber could be patient until he saw you again. He’d give you a couple days to get your mind right. But when he found you – and he would – he wasn’t going to stop until he had you back in his life and in his bed, right where you fucking belonged.
You could count on that shit.
END
#cevansbrat0007 asks#chris evans imagines#andy barber imagines#chris evans smut#andy barber smut#chris evans fanfiction#andy barber fanfiction#chris evans x you#andy barber x you#chris evans x reader#andy barber x reader#chris evans x black!reader#andy barber x black!reader#chris evans x woc!reader#andy barber x woc!reader#chris evans x poc!reader#andy barber x poc!reader#chris evans x girlfriend!reader#andy barber x girlfriend!reader#chris evans x female!reader#andy barber x female!reader#cevansbrat0007growing pains series#chris evans x yn#andy barber x yn#chris evans x y/n#andy barber x y/n#chris evans x fem!reader#andy barber x fem!reader#chris evans angst#andy barber angst
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okay so i’m gonna talk about the build thing.
I’m not going to get into the whole thing and what I think tho. Like, I have a lot of thoughts. But the thing is that I don’t KNOW anything. I don’t know these people. I can’t speak to them in any way.
We have literally ZERO facts. There is not a single fact that we, the public, have received that has any evidence behind it. We have a bunch of one-sided claims and... some messages? And some faked photo “evidence” from pinterest.
We don’t have any basis for making a judgement on anything solid whatsoever. The only people who can do that are first of all police and legal proceedings, which I very much doubt are going to actually come to pass, and if they did would take absolutely forever to shuffle out.
And secondly BOC as an employer. Which is where we can expect some kind of eventual decision, whatever it may be.
But what has truly upset me since this broke, besides just the natural grief of the situation, is the fandom response. It’s been truly horrendous.
The reaction which I expect from a fandom to this kind of news is shock, upset, grief, confusion, bargaining, etc. And support of each other as we wait for the full fallout.
Instead I’ve seen celebration, I-told-you-so’s, endless attacks on people who refuse to immediately renounce their support of build, or who are at all measured or hesitant in their response. Calls to reject not only the actor but the ship, the fandom, the production company. Comparisons to other actors to highlight how their fave could never. Finger pointing in every possible direction.
In other words, the fandom eating itself alive. And is it maybe a small minority of people being toxic and most people being silent? Yeah, it always is. But it’s so fucking painful to me and to the fandom as a whole.
Callout culture has reached a point where when anything happens the only performatively pure action to take is to immediately and loudly cut yourself off publicly from anyone at all likely to be tainted in accusation. Which is exactly why people with bad motives can use accusations to inflict harm on people they want to hurt.
I’ve seen over and over people being angry and upset that things aren’t moving faster with this situation, that there hasn’t been more statements and official shit done and like, it’s been less than two days? On a weekend? Do you really want the official procedures of ANY employer to work so fast that someone is fired within hours of anyone saying something bad about them, because that’s what people are literally calling for.
I know it sounds like I’m taking one side here, but honestly I’m not. No I don’t want the accusations to be true, because NO ONE should want them to be true. But I can’t speak to their truth at all, because I have no basis to do so. Except that what has been produced so far has been show NOT to be true (the photographs). But there’s plenty of toxicity to go around in this situation.
What I want is for the actual truth to be known and acted on appropriately. That doesn’t need to involve dragging facts out onto twitter or into the public eye, either. The fandom isn’t judge and jury. Victims shouldn’t be paraded through the virtual town square to be ripped apart.
People are mourning right now. What I’m mourning is the loss of a fandom that wasn’t as divisive and at each other’s throats as my last two. Where I could just go to enjoy stuff without constant infighting. Well, guess that’s fucking over.
People are reliving their own abuse. I know I am.
STOP ATTACKING FELLOW FANS. STOP ATTACKING PEOPLE MOURNING.
How individual fans respond to this isn’t any of your fucking business. People are allowed to wait to see what happens before making judgments. People are allowed time and space to process. Shut the fuck up already.
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Ok here are a few thots from my very long list for brat tamer!JJ cuz it’s horny hour for me rn:
Deciding to go brat mode and get on his nerves around the Pogues with a subtlety that is easily mistaken for normal teasing but JJ picks up on the subtext and the sharp warning glare he sends you🥵 he’s like “do that again I dare you”
JJ’s main methods of shutting you up real quick are mocking and humiliation during fun times iykwim
oh yeah and degradation kink goes crazy especially if you got him particularly moody
you trying to ahem tease him once and later than night he’s edging you for hoursss it’s pure torture
now he doesn’t rlly spend too much time on spanking like he doesn’t rlly do it as a separate session much but he does do it during yk with his RINGS on
Another kegger party and you’re seating on JJ’s lap as usual but you’re purposefully shifting around to get him hard and pissed off and so he grabs your jaw, tilting your head to the side and starts whispering in your ear and to everybody else around it looks like you guys are just being an overly affectionate couple but really he’s threatening you with the things he’s gonna do to you if you don’t sit still like a good girl
ok don’t judge me for this but…face slapping. Like not very hard to the point where you’re actually injured and in lots of pain, it’s like in between but holy shiiiii
CHOKING CHOKING CHOKING CHOKING
yeah and dacryphilia kink but obviously not when you’re actually upset
ok but…face fucking
ALSO ALL CONSENSUAL OFC!! I FEEL LIKE HE’D BE VERY HESITANT TO ROUGH YOU UP AT FIRST BUT AFTER MANY MANY DAYS OF ASSURANCE HE GETS MORE COMFY WITH IT
ALSO SAFE WORDS AND AFTERCARE ARE A MUST NO MATTER WHAT
HELP THIS IS PEAK WHORE BEHAVIOR WHAT AM I DOING
I AGREE WITH ALL OF THE ABOVE HOLY SHIT ANON HOLD ON YOU'RE GETTING A FULL RESPONSE IDC
do that again I dare you - sir?? challenge fuckin' accepted you're pushing his buttons aaalllll night until he can get you away
"is it too big baby? are you sure you can take it?" MY BRAIN IS MUSH RN he for sure knows that the quickest way to stop you from running your mouth when he's rocking your shit is to just mock tf outta you LORD -
he doesn't taking teasing lightly you're sO RIGHT! if you even try to rile him up by being a little too close to Pope or JB he's not going to let you cum until he damn well says so
PLEASE SPANKING WITH THE RINGS?? DURING DOGGY!!?!?! HE'S AN ANIMAL AND YOU LOVE THE STING OF THE METAL... He gets a couple of good smacks in before he refocuses on turning you into a boneless mess beneath him
IF YOU DON'T SIT STILL LIKE A GOOD GIRL YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SIT AT ALL (see point above) he'd make sure you know you fucked up
No judgement here anon whatever floats your boat, but you're definitely right he wouldn't do it overly hard or a lot, but a couple of quick love-taps on the face when you're pinned beneath him really just takes it all up a notch -
HEAVY ON THE CHOKING ARE YOU KIDDING ME??! I feel like that one started as a joke but you both realised you were into it so it gets incorporated quite a lot into your... Sessions ;) bonus points for rings too (the rings stay on during sex ssshhh)
God just picturing the satisfaction on his face seeing you start to get all teary and overwhelmed and overstimulated, barely able to tell him how good you feel, just letting the tears free fall and ruin your makeup. motherfucker would probably lick the tears off your cheek once or twice -
AND YOU'RE SO RIGHT HE WANTS TO BE SURE THAT YOU'RE SURE YOU WANT IT BEFORE HE GOES ROUGHING YOU UP AND FEELS BAD ABOUT IT!!! JJ is all about the pleasure, but he 100% is a king afterwards too, getting you water, helping you clean up, telling you how good you did for him - I'll show myself out
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Omg maknae line for the polaroid reaction pls i love it AND YOUR WRITING
hyung line
seokmin: seokmin is mortified when seungcheol tells him that he'd accidentally posted something inappropriate on his close friends story, and he's even more mortified when he realizes it's a nude of you. luckily, his leader had caught it early, and not many people had viewed the story (not that he had many people on his close friends list to begin with), but seokmin is still burning with embarrassment as he texts you to explain. it was a genuine mistake, something he'd missed in the background when he took a picture of his desk setup, but he still feels awful. thankfully, you're not upset with him over it.
mingyu: he has the photo in one hand, his cock in the other, and he's right about to cum all over his stomach when joshua barges into his room, causing him to throw the polaroid in his direction. joshua only catches a glimpse, but he's judging hardcore. "seriously, man? you know they made facetime for this exact reason., right? i mean, at the very least you could sext her."
minghao: jihoon looks entirely too happy for six am, and minghao is suspicious before he even gets in the car. "this is for you," jihoon says and holds out a polaroid picture for him to take. it's a picture of you in nothing but a bra and panties and minghao has no idea how his member got a hold of it. "your girlfriend asked me to deliver it," he explained before minghao had the chance to strangle him. he curses under his breath and tucks the photo into his pocket, muttering a quick "thanks" to the man in the passenger seat. what the fuck were you trying to pull? you couldn't have at least put the picture in an envelope? clearly, you wanted jihoon to see the picture. and you wanted to minghao to know jihoon had seen it. whatever it was, you'd pay for it later.
seungkwan: late as always, seungkwan is the last to slip into the conference room with his iced americano for their group meeting. in a rush to be seated, he drops all of his things on the table at once, not noticing something fly out of his notebook. mingyu slides it back across the table a moment later, lips pursed. seungkwan's quick to shove it back into the journal, but not before shooting a death glare at poor mingyu who had just been trying to help.
vernon: he'd told jun that he could borrow a pen from his backpack, but a pen is not what jun finds. instead, he comes across one of those film pictures taken on a really old polaroid... it's a picture of you, of course, jun had seen several like these before... except you were naked in this one. which was different. and something he was not supposed to see. he tries shoving the polaroid back into the backpack before vernon catches him, but he's too late. vernon snatches the entire bag from his hands and tosses him a pen himself. it was an accident. vernon can't even be mad, though he wants to be. "next time, remind me to grab whatever it is you need for you."
chan: who the fuck leaves nude pictures hanging on their fridge?? lee chan, that's who... apparently. to be fair, minghao hadn't told him he was coming over to your apartment beforehand, but really? your ass on display for anyone in the kitchen to see? there was a little note that chan had scrawled on the bottom too that minghao wishes he could erase from his memory. clearly, chan had stayed the night and left you (and unfortunately minghao) a surprise for when you woke up to remind you of your antics from the night before. all minghao had wanted was an egg or two for the cake he was trying to bake and now he had to navigate this awkward situation. chan doesn't even panic when he sees hao standing in the middle of your apartment. he knows you two are friends, he knows you gave hao the code to the front door. but then he sees minghao glancing at the refrigerator as if he's trying to tell him something and it dawns on him. "fuck." minghao just nods. "please pretend you didn't see that." "i wish i hadn't. you're an idiot." "tell me something i don't know."
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im gonna talk about non-bily things for just a second before i start responding but- obviously I am usually the most sympathetic and understanding person when it comes to mental health, like i really fucking am- i think i have a pretty good handle on understanding it with most people- but my cousins girlfriend is getting a little ridiculous with the accommodations she's asking for and im starting to get suspect of her in a serious way.
Yesterday every single time i suggested something, even simple stuff like going on a walk, she was too /anxious/ for it. And like you know- i get it, i am also anxious. i also have ptsd and agoraphobia. But as the day went on everything i suggested got shot down like immediately. and everything she wanted to do was like /the biggest priority/.
I am totally willing to accommodate people for mental health issues, like always. But if you have say, a phobia of fish that is going to make you have a panic attack, you wouldn’t follow your boyfriend on a fishing trip? right?
She kept whining about her medication and not taking it and i'm like dude- i am all for finding what works for you and learning how to self soothe, but at the same time if you are someone who /needs/ to be medicated to take a boat ride- then you need to take that medication. it's kinda like getting sick and not wanting to take antibiotics, it's not like negotiable. You have tools available to you, use them.
At this point i feel like she's not taking it just to kinda keep my cousin waiting on her by hand and foot because it feels like every time we're just like- hanging out about to do something fun- she's like "nooooooo it's toooo much, i'm anxious about that." i don't know i think if i was in her position (and i have been in her position) you just say "hey i'm gonna go self soothe for a second you guys do your thing" like that would be the normal reaction, not to control him.
i'm over it at this point. i have suffered my entire life through the same issues and yet i do believe there is a line between letting it affect you and letting it affect a virtual stranger. i have met her like twice before this trip. i just wanna hang out with my fucking cousin without her controlling everything for two seconds.
last night my cousin walked me home cuz it was late and dark and the woods gets really fucking scary at night, this is very usual for us he's walked me home every night we've hung out since i was like 7, and she got all upset that we were gonna go without her, it was like 11. like we were all gonna go to bed and she could have easily just stayed back it was gonna take 10 minutes max for him to walk me. but of course she had to come, Only to make him turn around when we were 1/4 of the way home because she got anxious. At this point i'm extremely suspicious that it's just a jealousy thing, because West is honestly like one of my og besties, like we have great hang outs and i think she feels threatened by that and stops us and re-directs his focus back to her whenever he forgets she's there.
And now she doesn't even want to go for a hike today when that was the whole reason why he like fucking visited cuz i was gonna show him a fossil hunting spot before they move to hawaii and ugh. i am usually very very against judging people based off of their mental health struggles and how it affects them but at this point....i'm judging her a little. This has been more than a little frustrating.
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Deliciously dark!Aemond x oc (SnowFalls) CHAPTER 3:SNOW DRIFTS
CONCEPT: You have become Aemonds spoils of war and his wife after he killed everyone at your home. Now he will try to gain more allies for his brother's cause, and one of your eldest enemies returns.
WARNINGS: Dubcon, non-con, graphic descriptions of sex, violence, smut, rough sex, dom/sub themes, humilation, spankings, torture, abuse, mentions of cheating, heartbreak and other tragedies.
You slept but barely. The nightmares haunted you all night. The biggest nightmare is already gone when you awake in a room that is not yours. You turn on your belly and feel a rough kick between your legs. Your muscles hurt. You groan and quickly look and there is dried blood on the spots where you were sleeping.
No wonder he left.
You get out of bed and try to put on your ripped clothes. It doesn't fit anymore. Only your wedding cloak does. You wrap it around you, shielding your body.
You walk through the door and into the next area where your brother used to receive guests. There is a stern-looking woman sitting on the couch. She eyes you and your cloak. You understand right away Aemond put her there. She gets up perfectly still and moves over. Judging you.
You don't like her right away.
'So you're the new princess. I am lady Maeridth.' You don't care. You were hurt by your husband, spanked and fucked sore and your family is dead. Who cares about this lady?
Yet you introduce yourself. Very softly. 'Willa WyldeWoods.' She shakes her head and clicks her tongue.
'Willa Targaryen. You have taken your husband's name. As is custom.' You would never have taken it voluntarily. You were forced to become his wife.
You feel insulted and hurt that she makes it sound like you choose it. 'I didn't take anything.'
She ignores your outburst. 'Shall we go back inside the room? I'm afraid there are some unpleasant measures I need to do.'
You follow her uneasily to go back to the room. You see her inspect the linen. 'Very good. That is a sign of a wonderfully consummated marriage.' She is delighted at your bloody spot.
You want to hit her. She turns to you. 'Show me your body.'
You freeze clutching the cloak tighter. 'W-what?'
She sighs. 'I need to see if I need some poppy milk for you or if you'll do fine without it. You are limping and in pain. Show me how bad it is.' You drop your cloak.
She inspects your nipples and your neck. There are some fresh bite marks here and there. You didn't even notice he bit you. She spreads your legs and it hurts before she even has touched you. She gently feels the irritated sensitive and tired-out skin.
You confess to her.
'He kept going. He didn't care I was crying. He didn't care I was tired.' You recall it that way.
She laughs at that. You come close to hitting her. 'If he won't care now, he won't care in the future. See this as a victory. You know who he is now.' A beast. An animal and a raper. He didn't care you were a maiden. It didn't matter at all.
'A monster.' You groan.
She gives you a warning glare.
'You can never say such things if anyone is with us. You are a princess now but you'll never be a Targaryen. You are disposable and they already have what they needed from you. Only Aemond saved you.' You realise that.
The door is opened and your husband enters. The lady bows for him and you minick her. You want to run away and hide. He just smiles at you. It's enough to make you want to curl up somewhere and cry. You should've fought more. You should've fought harder. You feel shame and disgust.
The cloak still covers your body.
'My beautiful wife. Finally awake? You slept deeply.' You want to make a mean comment but keep silent.
The lady scurries off like a rat in the Harbor. You keep ignoring him. 'Oh. I see. Someone is a little upset. Don't even try to blame me, you were wet and enjoying yourself too.' He grits out.
You do blame him. He rips the cloak from your body. You shiver. 'Please, husband. I am cold. Give me my cloak.' You beg. The North is unforgiven. Even he is dressed for the cold.
He walks away from you. He goes to what remains of your dress. 'Do you still have dresses here? You can't walk around with just a cloak covering up that body. That would be too tempting for my guards to resist.' You think of the two guards. How they raped that girl. And dozens of others.
You hope he is trying to scare you. 'Surely they are loyal enough-' he raises his hand and it's all he needs to do to get you quiet as a mouse.
He continues where he left off. 'They are killers and men. Never assume we won't take easy prey. We will.' You shiver at those words.
You defend yourself. You feel insulted. You are not meek. You are not weak. You are strong.'I am not easy prey.'
He laughs. 'You were an easy little conquest for me. I put more effort into putting my eye in. You are only alive because I allow you to be. Don't forget that the next time you're supposed to be pleasing me.' He remarks coldly and you feel your smile vanish and make place for terror and fear.
You quickly begin to apologise. You are ashamed that he thinks you did your job poorly. You didn't know much. 'I was just a maiden I didn't know-' you try.
He leans in and shushes you. 'That sounds like a you problem. Get educated. It won't be long before I want that Northen savage cunt again.' You never liked people calling you that.
You growl but still stutter.
'I-im not a savage. I don't fuck my family or ride a dragon.' You bite out.
He chuckles dangerously.
'Take it off or I'll rip it off.' He warns when getting closer.
He waits before deciding to get rid of your cloak himself. He grabs your wrists and pins you to the side of the bed and sighs deeply when humming and getting his belt off.
You scream and cry like a pig that's being slaughtered. You shake your head at him, instantly regretting it. Especially when he turns you and touches your behind. You whimper. 'No! No..' You softly beg.
He grins before kissing your neck. Sucking it.'I take it you've never been fucked in your ass before? It's very common under savages.' You can't tell if he's joking.
You try to save what can be saved.
'Y-you are not a savage. I am. My family was worthless and you are so good for me please don't...' the rest is just you wailing and crying.
He listens to it, pleased. He roughly rubs your folds and old blood sticks to his fingers.
'I am, aren't I? I'm such a good husband to you. I fuck your pretty pussy. I gift you nice things and I let you rest after fucking you into sleep yesterday. It is not unheard of that a wife gets woken up or that she is even hit if she falls asleep on the job.' You look anywhere but his eye.
You remind him kindly that you don't do punishment. 'I do not respond well to physical punishment. Daddy didn't spank me. Mommy didn't either and-'
He smiles.
'O, I have faith you'll pick it up eventually. I'm patient.' You try to speak sense into him.
'I don't want to become scared. You are supposed to be my husband and my protector. I-'
'Hush. I want your ass in a gown and I want you downstairs in the hall shortly. Am I clear?' You give up and nod.
'Yes...'
He pets your head.
'Good girl. Put on something pretty hm? I liked the gown you wore the other day.' He says before getting up and marching out of the room.
---
Servants clean the blood away. Bodies are carried downstairs and sometimes heads roll through the hall when someone drops them.
Your husband waits in the hall with his mother, brother and grandfather. You don't give them the satisfaction of a glance.
Aemond kisses your cheek and you avoid eye contact with any other Targaryen. Two guards are busy putting heads on the gates and you watch the heads get smashed in so they can properly put the stake in it.
You think of the Starks. Maybe they will save you. But they need to be quick. 'Edric Duskwoods wrote us.' You heard of the DuskWoods. They are friends of the Stark and helped fight the Boltons. You wonder what Edric wants.
'Who?' Aemond asks, tilting his head a bit. He almost looks cute when doing it.
Otto Hightower glares at you. You don't like it. You didn't do anything. You nervously touch your hair.
'Her betrothed.' The former queen says. Your eyes widen as you glance between her, Otto and finally back to Aemond.
Your mouth opens and closes uttering words but no sound comes out. You are betrothed. You didn't know.
Aemond sighs.
'You didn't tell me you were engaged.' He says, and you hear some jealousy in his voice.
You are quick to blurt out.
'B-because I wasn't! Mommy or daddy must have had a hand in it. The word must have reached The Willowswood that they died.' They somehow send the DuskWoods a raven. Somehow.
You realise that was not possible. Someone else did it for you. Someone else in this castle.
Aegon grins. 'Bring the cunt in. Let's see what he wants and what he brings. Maybe he wants to offer me a Northern bitch as Well.'
The doors are opened and you stop pulling your nails. Edric enters and he is even more handsome than you remembered. He is 21 summers you are 20.
Edric doesn't bow. He struts in and walks to the Hightowers. Aemond pushes you behind him, keeping his hand firmly on your shoulder.
'Dragonstealer and One-eyed Kinslayer. Shall we add wife-stealer to the list of your nicknames?' Edric asks, and you admire his courage.
Aemond doesn't even blink. Come to think of it; He does that rarely anyway. 'Why not. I quite like that one.' His brother laughs and the two of them advance on Edric.
You whimper softly. 'What are you doing here?' You ask him. 'It's dangerous here.'
He smiles sweetly at you. You feel a blush creep up and quickly hide it. Aemond notices it and pushes you even closer to him, glaring at you.
Edric presents a beautiful handwoven necklace to you. 'Lady Wyldewoods. I'm so sorry we didn't get a chance to meet earlier. This could all be prevented. I'm sorry that monster took your innocence-' You don't agree but you surely don't disagree.
'This monster was being encouraged and begged to fuck your little lady. She fucked me back.' Aemond says. He doesn't care how embarrassed you'll get or how much shame you feel.
Edric scoffs. 'Like she had much of a choice. I want back my wife, you thief. Hand her or lose your other eye.'
Aemond reaches for his sword. Edric does the same. 'Stop! Edric. We can be allies. Surely you can find a way to support your new king?' Otto asks.
Edric frowns like he just got hit by a pan. 'You want me to support the man that stole my wife?' He asks. 'Things work differently in the North. Not all our loyalty can be bought.'
Edric shakes his head and walks out of the castle. Leaving you behind. Aemond chuckles victoriously and forces his lips on your ear. He gently sucks your lobe and you sniffle in his arms.
Another visitor enters. Unannounced. You notice the black burning raven banner and nearly piss yourself. You clamp to Aemond and quickly whisper. 'That house is our biggest enemy. What are the Warths doing here?'
Aemond smiles at you 'I invited them. We need their support too.' He says. You feel nervous and uneasy. You follow your husband around like a puppy, scared he'll leave you and you'll be defenceless.
Dorren greets Aemond before he smiles at you like he can peck your eyes out one by one. You force yourself to make a little curtsy and want to disappear again. Aemond grabs your arm and drags you like a conquest to his side.
Dorren's dark blue eyes go over your body approvingly before he looks at the king. He bows before Aegon. 'My king. How may I, a humble servant, serve you?' He asks lowly and mockingly.
Aegon seems amused by that and laughs before helping him up. The two of them do a side hug and Aegon demands your servants to bring in the good wine. 'Have you met my wife yet? Lady Willa Targaryen. She grew up within these walls.' Aemond tries to steal back the attention by a desperate attempt at starting an argument or drama.
Dorren gasps dramatically. 'Willa,' He says like he is Tasting your name. 'That can't possibly be the little WyldeWoods bitch they kept hidden in here?' He put down the cup Aegon handed in and takes you properly, even walking a circle around you.
You follow him, anxious he will pull out a dagger or another weapon. When he is done he grins scoffing. 'Well, I know a WyldeWoods bitch when I see one. Good luck with her, my Prince. WyldeWoods women are .. intense.'
Aemond smiles and strokes your cheek gently. 'They sure fuck that way.'
They both laugh and you turn your head away, playing with a ribbon on your dress.'Can I go back to my rooms?' You ask your husband.
Aemond shakes his head. 'No, come. I need someone to keep our wine coming.' He says when Dorren and Aegon sit down in the seating area that was once your father's.
You don't even want to go near Dorren when he is sober let alone drunk. 'There are servants for that.' You grit out.
Aemond's eyebrows raise at your challenge and you feel fear and something unknown take over. Dorren smirks. 'Oh, so entitled too. You are so spoiled.' He says delightedly.
He continues fantasying. 'If you were mine, you'd be whipped by now, little brat.' You gulp.
'I'm Aemonds. Not yours. Thank the old gods and the new for that.' You bit out.
You are grabbed roughly and your husband forces your chin up so he glare at you properly. 'Don't make me bare your ass and spank you here in public, little fox. Fill our cups, your remarks are not needed.' You obey, taking the cups and fill them with wine.
Dorren laughs subtly when you fill his cup as well, obeying your husband loyally and faithfully. Aemond doesn't even thank you. He just grins and snaps his fingers, pointing to his chair. You come over and prepare yourself to sit on his lap.
'Tell me, my king. My Prince. Is the North to your liking?' You already hate his slimy way of talking with Aegon and Aemond.
Aemond crosses his legs so you can't sit down on him and gives a subtle. You stand, next to him like a house servant. You never felt more shame and himulation. Tears threaten to fall but you keep strong. 'It's very beautiful and the scenery is quite complex and diverse-' Aemonds description is roughly interrupted.
'It's a frozen shithole wasteland, there are barely any good women here to fuck and most of them have covers of clothing you need to rip off first.' Aegon finishes.
Dorren ignores that comment.
'The women are...rare. Most of the houses are traditional and centuries old. They are wary of Targaryens. Most of the kingdom forgets...But the North? It remembers.' You stand a long time and soon your legs start to hurt.
You whisper to Aemond.
'May I sit, or be excused? My knees hurt.'
He just grins.
'What's stopping you from sitting on the ground?' The Cold ground. The floor. Like his pet, sitting by his side and being vulnerable to him.
'M-my dignity.' You whisper.
Aemond chuckles and you already know you won't like his answer.
'My sweet; you were fucked brutally by a man you'd only known for a few hours. You were wet and encouraging me to fuck you, every servant heard your cries when I made you come. What dignity are you speaking of? You have none.' He finishes brutally.
You feel tears fall and you bow your head. He takes your hand.
'On your knees, for me.' You obey, sinking to your knees.
He is not pleased and roughly spanks you. You cry out much to Dorrens delight. Aemond sighs before playing with your braided hair. 'No; silly girl. On all fours. Like when I fuck you. Surely you remember that?' He asks. 'Or do you need a quick reminder?' You whimper.
You swallow your pride, and kneel fully. Aemond grins. 'Just how I like them. Broken.'
Dorren is a little too invested in you. He likes to hear your soft whimpers and likes the sight of you crying. You just know he loves you being miserable. 'Does she behave in the bedroom? Or is she a naughty brat there too?' He is a little too interested.
Aemond grins, he doesn't seen to mind these personally questions.
'She is very submissive to me. She knows when she has met her match. She sometimes fights a bit but its nothing I can't handle.'
You are sometimes touched or petted briefly. You feel hollow and empty like a bottle without liquid. You are just his toy.
Most of the conversation goes by without you even noticing it. You are busy keeping your head up; despite it being lowered. You are busy fighting the urge to scream and to cry and to just crawl away in a corner.
At some point, Aegon takes Dorren to see his dragon. You and Aemond remain. You are grabbed by your hand and pulled to him. He places your chin on his knee and pets your hair. 'Were you paying any attention to our negotiations?' You shake your head, at loss for words.
'I-i didn't realise it was requested of me.' You'll be in trouble now. You didn't even remember half of what they talked about. Was it about the armies that he wants to know? Or maybe he'd like to know about how long the alliance will take? It won't matter anyway because you don't have the correct answer and that means that you are getting hurt. Again.
He scoffs softly tracing his fingers over the pattern that your tears left on your cheeks. 'It wasn't. I do have a few favours to ask. Come.' He stands up and you follow his example.
'Yes?' You ask.
He sighs and curses. You tense up and look for help. But the loyal guards are all gone. And the new ones won't ever help you. 'You know close I am to just taking you right here?'
You freeze up. There are still servants. There are still guards. People that used to look up to you.
'And no one would bat an eye at it. I am your husband. I can fuck you wherever I damn well please. If that means in the living room, in front of our guests and servants: so be it.' He says coldly.
He looks at the paintings on the walls. Your entire history is there. 'Your ancestors would understand. I am the conqueror, you are my conquest.'
Aegon and Dorren return, looking close as thieves. Friends forever and all that. You feel worried before they even returned.
Aegon smacks his hands together and grins .' We made a wonderful agreement. He agreed to let us have about half his armies and some of the Boltons.'
Aemonds eyebrows raise and there is approval but also something else. Jealously.
'How did you manage that?'
Aegon leans in and whispers something in his brothers ear. Aemond pales but nods. 'My lady wife is not in the mood for it. There is blood everywhere on her body. She is a bit messy.' You start to catch on.
Your heart drops and shatters. Your legs are ready to run. Your breath is fast and you look around panicking.
Dorren shrugs with a smile. 'I am used to my bitches bleeding when I fuck them.' Them. You. He wants you. You were promised in exchange for troops.
You stutter.
'N-no. I can't. He is my enemy.'
Aegon gives you a warning glare.
'You'll survive this. We want our armies, little girl. You already are a whore what's the problem?' Something snaps and before you have realised what you've done you've hit the king across his stupid face.
'I am not a whore!' You scream.
Aemond stalks up very fast behind you and before you can act he has grabbed you and smacks you so hard across your face that it leaves a red mark and causes you to fall to your knees.
You sob. You don't want this. You are scared.
Aemond stands in front of you, kicking you with his feet to get you to look up. 'Never speak that way to my brother again, wife. Go prepare yourself. You reek of Cum and blood. He will want a proper toy.'
---
You are wearing another revealing gown. Aemond and Aegon are not far from you and escort you to the bedroom you were previously sleeping in.
'I will never forgive you this.' You promise Aemond. He doesn't speak. He just ignores you.
Aegon turns you before whispering in your ear.
'Get in there and fuck him good. We want his armies.' He smacks your behind.
You are so scared.
'I am your wife!' You cry out. 'I thought I meant something to you! Is this why I obeyed you blindly?!'
He tenses up. He shrugs.
'I can always get a new one. You don't matter to me. You're just a quick fuck to kill my time with. Get in there, whore.' You are pushed and stumble into the room.
The second you are in, they lock the door leaving you alone with Dorren.
Dorren smiles when he sees your gown. You sink to the floors, clutching your knees and start to cry. 'I haven't even touched you yet. That Targaryen didn't please you, did he?' He sinks to his knees and touches your face gently.
'You know what I think, little Willa?' He adds.
'N-no?' You mutter.
He lifts your chin.
'That he doesn't appreciate what he has. That he doesn't love you the way I would love you. That annoying silver-haired cunt doesn't know shit about your needs as a Northern woman.' Your needs. Some things you'd enjoy but if you could just get Aemond to pleasure you differently it would help. Make it tolerable.
'What are my needs?' You whisper.
'Have you ever been held down?' He suggests. You think back to your first time.
'I ...I was forced to kneel.' You still feel his grip on your legs pushing and pulling you on his body.
'And to...to lick his...'
He sighs.
'You are my enemy. A WyldeWoods.'
He adds before removing his hand. 'But you are also just a girl. You could've been my sister. I wouldn't want this happening to my sister. Or any girl.'
You don't understand.
'Yet you are fine with accepting me as your price. To do the same thing he did.' You remark coldly.
He sits.
'I came to warn you. We are supposed to stay far away from the flames of Valyria as Northern folk. You included.' He says.
'You don't know what your actions can inflict in the future.' You whisper
You don't trust him. You think it's a trap to get your guard down. So you keep aware and keep your distance. Even when the Targaryens are let in.
Aemond and Aegon enter. They see you sit still untouched with your hair pretty and your gown on. You see the veins in Aegons neck nearly snap.
Aegon eyes you a little more collected than Aemond but his temper is far worse.
'You little whore-' You scream and whimper when he grabs you. 'You think yourself too good for this, hm?' He asks, and even picks a dagger from his belt. You whimper as the cold metal touches your skin.
Dorren sighs. 'Let her be!
'She didn't resist. I am not in the mood that's all. You'll get your armies. Don't worry about that.' He promises quickly. 'Let the girl be. She did nothing wrong.' Aegon walks off with Dorren, still discussing the new arrangement.
You feel your hair stand up and cower when you are once again alone with Aemond in the same room you consummated your marriage in. 'You regretted sending me here, didn't you?' You ask.
He doesn't say anything but does come closer. 'You're right. I regretted it the moment I sent you away.' He says and touches your face lovingly. You feel very loved and special at that moment.
Until he grins and laughs at you. You lower your head and understand he was being sarcastic. Your gown is pulled up, exposing your behind.
You are pushed onto the bed. You feel his warm hands touch your behind, and you feel a soft teasing squeeze.
Part of you has already figured out you are about to be touched.
'W-what is happening?' You ask confused.
Aemonds lips curl into a smirk as he touches your naked back, unhooking your dress so it falls down, baring you naked. You feel vulnerable. 'If Dorren won't enjoy you, I will.' Your head is pushed down gently, and he grabs a spare pillow so your head can rest a bit.
He is busy taking off his clothing. You turn around to face him. You watch him take off his coat and his leather vest. Beneath it all is an impressive chest with muscles that still look healthy to you. You realise you are watching him strip and quickly turn your head away.
'Dorren said something.' You start this conversation with sweating hands and little confidence.
'Hm.' Is his response.
He is not very talkative. Sadly, you are. Especially when you are nervous like now. 'He said that I as a northen woman have needs you as a southern man might not understand.' You try to guess his reaction, but his face remains expressionless. He only blinks sometimes and takes off his belt.
'Hm.' He says again before dropping his pants to the floor, kicking them off his feet. You watch. You fear him, but your curiosity is much stronger than whatever fear you feel. He stalks over to you, naked.
You are gently pushed to lay again, your head and body away from his face. You know its now ot never. 'And he also suggested something. I want to try it, if I have your consent and permission.' You blurt out too quickly. He just glares at you before removing his eyepatch. You gawk at the giant scar and politely turn your gaze away from it.
He laughs, scoffing, and forces your chin up. 'You talk a lot. Don't tell me I need to invest in some gags?'
You feel your courage die off again and are pushed onto the bed. His hands enter your body, and you are stimulated again. He won't take you dry. That's something, at least.
You try to picture things that make you happy and feel safe, but all you can think about is his body and how it will slam inside you soon. Your muscles around your pussy tighten and you feel a familiar wetness grow alongside a too familiar hunger.
Aemond doesn't say anything but stops pleasuring you. Your hands are grabbed, and you are forced to please your husband with your hand. You don't mind it but won't look at it. He wants to shove it in you again.
You roll on your back, facing him. He grabs your arm and forces you to kneel again. You break free of his grip and try to get him to understand you. He has no respect for that, however. 'No, bad girl.' He scolds, and eventually, he wins. He is much stronger, and you are forced to comply.
'Wait... I want you to be on top of me.' You admit. His good eye narrows. 'I'd like that very much.' You add with a whisper. 'As if we are regular man and wife.'
'Just us making love.' You finish.
Something changes. He leans in and touches your face gently. You pout your lips ready for his kiss...
Instead, you feel two strong hands wrap around your throat, nearly choking the life out of you. You try to get him off you.
You cry out when he releases you. 'You're funny. You are mine, little fox. I will have you how I want. Will you get into position, or do you need a spanking?' You obey, kneeling when tears stream down your face and sobs rock your body.
He rubs your back, trying to calm you down. He adds softly whispering. 'And I don't make love, I fuck. I sure as hell don't love you. Am I understood?' You feel stupid for thinking this would be different.
You hide another soft sob.
'Yes, my Prince.'
He seems that as your consent and forces you down with your head into the pillow. You feel him climb the bed and hear it cracking. You softly whisper your ritualistic prayer and pray to the old golds and the new gods.
''Are you praying?' He asks, still not inside you. He sounds surprised.
'I am.' You admit. You don't know why. You won't be saved.
He laughs.
'Like your old tree gods can help you now. If you'd like to pray, pray to me. I am your God now.' He shoves himself inside with a grunt, and you are stuffed up.
'Please be gentle.' You beg.
There is a smack on your behind, and you do not like the pain.
'You wouldn't like it gentle. You like it rough and dirty. You are a filthy little whore.' You don't like his harsh words and his insults.
'I would appreciate a softer approach.' You tell him hoping he understands it.
He just laughs.
'You have little to appreciate and even less to want.'
The fucking intensifies when you shut up. Sometimes you moan or whimper in pain out loud. Once you notice you are doing it, you instantly stop.
There is a sharp pain as he goes even deeper roughly scratching you out and impaling you.
You groan. 'Argh.'
You force yourself silent for the other trusts. 'Don't be silent, little wife. Keep your grunts and moans coming.' He likes hearing it.
You moan on purpose, but it sounds very fake.
'Don't overdo it.' Is his cold remark. You feel ashamed.
'Yes, my Prince.' You mutter.
You groan and tighten your grip as his body slams against yours roughly claiming you on the spot. You feel your whole body shake on the cracking bed. He uses your hair to control and steer you.
He takes you so hard and brutally that you are worried about permanent damage. With a grunt, he injects himself in you. You relax, knowing the worst has passed. Unlike last time, there is no pleasure for you.
He gets up and walks to the bathroom, leaving you to gather your thoughts.
You roll your hips to your fingers, pretending it's Edric fucking you. But soon your mind wanders and it's Aemond who fucks you in your daydream. Not Edric. You try to force him out but it doesn't work. You imagine him spanking you roughly, pushing you under him and pinning you down when you beg him for more. He is rough and your needs only raise and raise.
You feel like you've hit a limit and softly rub yourself a bit harder.
There is a harsh smack on your exposed legs and you scream opening your eyes. Your husband eyes you.
He leans in close.
'Come here then, little greedy fox.'
You obey and are grabbed and shoved on your back again. This time you get it even more painful. Black spots dominate your vision as you try to keep from moaning but it's no use. It is too good. You finish much faster than he did.
You seek comfort in his arms. You snuggle up to him and happy smile. 'What are you doing?' He asks, confused.
You smile but your smile dies when you notice his glare.
'I cuddle with you-' You are interrupted and pushed off.
'I don't want cuddles.' He groans out.
'O,' you say like a silly goose.
'I-I see..' You hope that is the end of it but its not. He lectures you on his boundaries and you feel horrible for breaking them. You just wanted some affection and kindness from him.
He even sits up to do so. 'We are not in a romantic or social relationship. Our marriage is convenient. Nothing more. I don't want cuddles. I want heirs.' He says clearly.
'O-of course. I didn't see it any different.' You lie to yourself and to him. You don't want to admit that you did think a loveable marriage was possible. One filled with love and joy.
He scoffs.
'Lying is your worst skill. You suck at it.'
You don't take effort to respond.
'Will I be allowed to find happiness elsewhere?'
He freezes before tensing up.
'Are you asking me if you can fuck other men?' You know it's not unheard of.
You nod weakly.
'I-i mean...Eventually. I want someone to love me, eventually. After I've known him for a while and he has your approval as well as mine I might share the bed with him.' You explain your plan and it sounds very reasonable in your head.
Until Aemond groans and grabs a handful of your hair, pulling you to him. You cry out confused and scared and are pushed over his legs. You already know what's next and whimper before he has hit you.
'Ow! Ow stop! Stop it!' You cry out as he smacks your ass. You break down in tears. 'I'm sorry!'
He grins feeling your breasts pinching your nipples. 'Such a little slut. You are lucky I fucked you two times tonight. But maybe my wife needs one final fucking to make sure she understands it fully.' You shake your head but it's already too late. He sinks in deeply.
#house of the dragon#aemond targaryen#dark aemond targaryen#house of the dragon fanfiction#dark aemond targaryen x oc#Aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen smut#Dark Aemond Targaryen smut#Aemond one eye fanfiction#SnowFallsAtWyldeCrest#dark!#head the warnings#dubcon#possible triggering content#She/her reader#AFAB Reader#DarkFantasy#Possible noncon#Possible gore#Old work
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Jk has been pushing the heterosexual fuck boy narrative since chapter 2 started. He's been seen out with women or possibly just 1 particular woman in his personal time since last year. People tried to write it off as a staff member but he wouldn't be with staff in his personal time when he's not working which he obviously wasn't. Jk didn't start working until bh sent him to the states after Like Crazy charted #1 on hot100 bc they wanted that for him and not jm. I wonder will jk use this video to his advantage to further push the heterosexual fuck boy narrative or will he do some grand gesture towards jm to try to soothe things over. If they were broken up at the time it wouldn't be cheating but it's only natural for jm to get upset about the situation if he is. Jm had to deal with the exact situation with jk and the tattoo artist back in 2019 and I would assume he's not happy about dealing with it yet again.
Let's not assume too much, dear. Neither of us are Jimin nor JK. We don't know if they ever were together, let alone at the time of 2019 issue, moreover right now. Jimin is a strong, smart individual and I trust he knows what he's doing. If he supports JK going forward , just as he's always done, and assume always will, then your theory goes to to the bin.
I don't think JK being possibly filmed in his home is a PR move and I seriously doubt it will be used as one if it wasn't, because JK really hates his privacy being invaded. I don't know who he's been seen with in his private time, since, well it's his private time and I don't follow sasaengs, and I suggest you stop doing too. Other than the main reason that stalking someone is illegal and immoral, they are also very often very unreliable and complete liars, sometimes craving attention and other times wanting to "punish" the people they stalk. Even if JK was filmed with girls, it isn't a crime to have people from the opposite genger in your life. For sure, JM has women in his life too , we just don't know it. Context matters. And if JK had girlfriends in the least year, so be it. He said he's a grown man and he is. Even if some people don't like it, he doesn't care.
Lastly, yeah he did start working after JM's promotion ended. Both of his singles were offered to him and he took them, that's no secret. I do believe the company wanted him to the most successful member of BTS , hence why they maybe rushed his release and the extensive promotions, but I think he also wants to be super famous and as big as possible, as well, so their goals align.
As I said, I have some mixed feelings about JK right now, mainly the direction he's taking his career in and the means he uses. It seems to me his main focus right now is to be "a global pop star" (which he already is being a part of BTS, but I guess he wants his OWN name to be as known as possible). More than global, it looks like the company and Scooter are focused on making him the next "American pop star" which JK seems to want as well. He's always admired JB and the likes, so it's no surprise if you've been paying attention to what JK's been saying all those years.
Another aspect in JK's career so far is his desire to be more "mature". The whole fuckboy thing is partly him trying to break the mold of the Maknae, the company using the oldest trick for creating pop stars (using sex) and maybe his own life experiences, who knows. I'm not sure why he automatically equates maturity to just having lots of sex, when maturity is so much more, but let's just wait for his album and see. As of right now, he isn't trying to make meaningful art , he's just doing songs that he feels like in the moment and trying to become as famous as possible. That's all there really all is to his solo music so far, but there's still time for me to be wrong.
His whole approach to the solo career is definitely different than what I thought, but who am I to judge. He doesn't really care for people disliking his music, so clearly there's no point in mulling over it. Strangely, I thought Chapter 2 will be about getting to know the members better and becoming closer to them, yet for me it's been the opposite when it comes to him.
#jungkook#he doesnt really care about negative opions so is there any point in this post#jimin#jikook#kookmin
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DIABOLIK LOVERS DARK FATE Vol.2 Chapter of the First Quarter [TRACK 1]
Original title: 狼の影
Source: Diabolik Lovers DARK FATE Vol. 1 Chapter of the First Quarter
Audio: Here
Seiyuu: Toriumi Kousuke, Katsuyuki Konishi, Midorikawa Hikaru, Kaji Yuki, Hirakawa Daisuke & Takashi Kondou
→ LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!
Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4
Track 1: The Shadow of a Wolf
Laito: ( Night falls per usual, while time ticks away as nothing of significance happens. Every day is a repeat of that same scenarioーー )
Reiji: ( With an eternity of time on our hands, us Vampires constantly find ourselves stuck in a gap in between boredom and idleness, until we eventually lose our perception of time, simply eagerly awaiting for the day when it will finally all endーー )
Shuu: ( Since we do not die a natural death, one’s passing is considered a joyous occasion. We wish for someone to kill us, no matter who. So we can at last be freed from this never-ending flow of timeーー )
Ayato: ( However, back then, we all came to the realization. ‘If we had to be killed, it should not be by just anyone.’ーー )
Wolves are running through the woods.
*Grooooowl*
They continue running.
*HOOOOWL*
You tell Ayato about the wolves.
Ayato: …Aah!? Wolves, you say!?
You nod.
Ayato: Chichinashi…Are you still half asleep? …And everyone’s talking ‘bout it? Che! What would a bunch of wolves be doin’ runnin’ ‘round this human city? Idiot!
You frown.
Ayato: I’m sure someone mistook a pack of wild dogs for wolves? Ridiculous! Anyway, you don’t need to come and tell me every time you hear ‘bout some stupid horror story!
*Rustle*
You shriek.
Ayato: It hurts…? I bet. I pinched you hard just now after all. I made sure to make it hurt good so you won’t spout such bullcrap again! I have to go this far or else you just don’t listen, right? In that case…
*Rustle rustle*
Ayato: I wouldn’t mind hurtin’ you even more? Well, in your case…
Ayato pins you down.
*Thud*
Ayato: I guess this would be more effective?
*Rustle rustle*
Laito: One second, Ayato-kun~
Ayato: Aah!? What’s your problem, Laito!? Don’t get in my way!
Laito: Oh, I never meant to disrupt. I only wanted to warn you since I believe that there’d be no point in trying to ‘punish’ Bitch-chan with your fangs…~
Ayato: Aah!?
Laito: I mean…Bitch-chan is the world champion at perceiving pain as pleasure! So that won’t do, right? A punishment should be so painful, it has to make the person realize that they never want to go through it again. Nfu~
Ayato: Aah, fuck off! Why are you tryin’ to ruin my fun!?
Laito: Once again, that was never my intention!
Ayato: God, I was just in the mood for her blood as well, but now I’m just pissed off. …Ugh. Laito. You’re tryin’ to upset me on purpose, aren’t you!? That’s your intention, isn’t it!?
Laito: Nfu~ I mean, maybe? After all, it’s not like Bitch-chan is officially yours or anything, right? Her blood happens to be my favorite meal as well! Anyone would step in when they see someone else about to indulge in their delicious snack, no?
Ayato: Cut the crap!
*Rustle*
Ayato: She belongs to me!
Laito: Oh~? And when was that decided?
Reiji walks up to them.
Reiji: Okay, time out.
*Clap clap*
Reiji: Please cut out this pointless argument. Good grief…I do not understand how you lot never get bored of getting into stupid fights every five seconds.
Ayato: Haah…!? I mean, you start complainin’ whenever you see Mr. Lazy Guy as well, don’t you!? You’re in no position to judge us!
Rejii: Hmph! …Even if that good-for-nothing was a little more aggressive and would actually react to my provocations, I would still have better things to do than to argue with him all day.
Laito: Which means…So you’ve been calling him a ‘good-for-nothing’ or a ‘waste of air and space’ knowing very well that he won’t bother to retaliate anyway?
Reiji: I never called him a waste of air and space, did I?
Laito: I mean, don’t sweat the details~
Reiji: Despite what you may believe, I am a pacifist at heart. I do not find enjoyment in twisted games such as deliberately causing conflict and getting a kick out of it. Unlike you lot, that is.
Ayato: Aah…!? Just get to the damn point! I’ve got no clue what you’re tryn’ to say!
Reiji: If you cannot comprehend, so be it. …Well then, you spacing out over there, snap out of it as well. I shall pour you a cup of tea, okay?
You fix your posture.
Reiji: Right, right. Now straighten your back and please pay attention to the etiquette of the traditional Japanese tea ceremony as you accept the cup of tea.
*Psssh*
Reiji: Here you go. Ayato, Laito, the two of you should have some as well.
Ayato: Che…Buzz off. I don’t like that smug look on your face after you resolve a conflict.
Laito: Right? I don’t like that look of accomplishment one bit either.
Reiji: That is fine. Never once in my life have I felt the need to earn approval from you people.
*Cling*
Reiji: More importantly…I heard you mention something about wolves earlier.
You raise your head.
Reiji: Did you also spot a wolf?
You nod.
Ayato: Aah…? Chichinashi, you actually did?
You explain.
Reiji: I see. While you did not see one yourself, you are worried about the rumors.
Laito: …I mean, I guess that makes sense. Nfu~ I mean, just remember the story of Little Red Riding Hood? After the Big Bad Wolf gobbles up her grandmother, Little Red does all sorts…of naughty things with him, right~? So I’m sure that’s why Bitch-chan is so curious about this wolf too!
Ayato: Did the story really go like that?
Reiji: Ayato. Just pretend you didn’t hear it. Do not take it seriously.
Ayato: S-Sure…?
Laito: Eeh~? Aren’t you being a little mean?
Reiji: Either way, putting aside debate on whether or not wolves have actually shown up…Well, even outside of the world of Little Red Riding Hood, those with a strong thirst for blood are a threat to humans either way. As a result, the wolf has been a popular candidate to be the villain in various fictional works. Either to evoke fear, or in other cases, to be respected and honored. Therefore, I believe it is only natural for humans to instinctively express fear when they hear that such creatures have shown up in the middle of a city.
Ayato: The fuck, Chichinashi? So those wolves actually do make your instincts kick in, huh? Shouldn’t I be the strongest and scariest of all…!?
Laito: Exactly~! We’re ‘scaaaaary’ Vampires, remember? We suck your blood and corrupt both your heart and soul. Nfu~ Fufufu…~
Reiji: Haah…You really love picking on her whenever you’re given the chance, don’t you? Do you not believe that we have more important matters at hand right now?
Ayato: And what would that be?
Reiji: The word ‘wolves’ should ring a bell with you both, no?
Laito: Hmー Ring a bell? For me, nothing else but Little Red Riding Hood comes to mind though…?
Ayato: Did somethin’ happen which involved Wolves?
Reiji: Good grief…This is what you get when Vampires start living in the human world. …They exist in the Demon World, remember? The Wolf Clan.
Laito: Ah, now that you mention it!
Ayato: I completely forgot ‘bout those guys up until now! …Then could it be that the Wolves which were spotted in town are actually people from the Wolf Clan?
Subaru: …Nah, not a chance.
Laito: Subaru-kun! When did you get here?
*THUD*
Subaru: Fuck off! I’ve been here this whole time.
Ayato: You have so little presence, I didn’t even realize at all! My bad!
Subaru: Haah? In other words, you’ve become nothin’ but a little housepet who has lost all natural instincts, right?
Ayato: Aah!? A housepet, you say!? You bastard…You’ve sure got some nerve talkin’ to your older brother like that!
Subaru: Tsk…Says the guy who didn’t even remember the Wolf Clan exists. Do you even have the right to call yourself a Vampire still? You don’t deserve better than to be called a pet. Seems like you’ve even forgotten ‘bout the fact that the Wolf Clan is known for being extremely territorial and therefore rarely ventures beyond their area of land.
Laito: Nfu~ I mean, I never felt particularly ‘prideful’ to be a Vampire and you can hardly blame us for forgetting about the Wolf Clan when we live in a place where they’re of no concern, right? …I don’t think that warrants calling us ‘pets’, won’t you agree?
Subaru: You’re basically proving my point. You’re always quick to shame her, but in reality, it’s you guys who are slaves to her blood, aren’t you?
Reiji: Subaru, lay it off. …Why are you so on edge?
Subaru: ‘Cause you bastards keep on spoutin’ a load of bullcrap!
Laito: Subaru-kun, is it ‘that time of the month’ perhaps~? Nfu~
Subaru: …Fuck off! Do you want me to send you flyin’, huh!?
You try to stop Subaru.
Subaru: …Hah!? Why are you tellin’ me to stop!? You’re to blame here as well. Don’t be hangin’ out with these bastards! …Tsk. You people seriously piss me off!
*Thud*
Reiji: Good grief…I suppose that is why Subaru has been so irritable.
Subaru: Haah!?
Reiji: Oh no, simply talking to myself. …Well then, let us return to the previous topic. Just like Subaru stated earlier, the Wolf Clan is known for rarely leaving its territory, even within the Demon World.
*Rustle*
Reiji: So it would be even more unusual for them to come here.
Laito: Well, I can believe that. I went into their territory once and had one hell of a rough time.
Subaru: Ah? You did that?
Laito: There’s girls like Bitch-chan amongst all species, you see~
Ayato: You’ll really take anyone you can get, huh?
Laito: Nfu~ I wish you’d instead say that I don’t discriminate.
Ayato: …Well, anyway. Even if there’s some wolves wanderin’ ‘round somewhere, I’ll make quick work of them, so rest assured!
*Rustle*
Ayato: Chichinashi…I won’t let you get devoured by some stupid Wolves. Hehe…
Reiji: Oh dear. Seems like it is time to leave for school already.
*Clap clap*
Reiji: Well then, everyone. Let us get ready and be on our way.
*Rustle*
Reiji: I shall not allow you to skip classes.
Laito: Geez, guess I’ll go get ready then.
*TIMESKIP*
Subaru enters your room.
Subaru: ー Oi, are you ready to leave?
You tell him that you need a few more minutes.
Subaru: Haah…!? What’s takin’ you so long?
You explain.
Subaru: You’re lookin’ for something? Che…What is it you need?
You answer.
Subaru: Your hair pin!? You’ll be fine without it, right!? …Hah. Why do chicks have to waste time on that sorta crap? I just don’t understand. …Haah, god. Where have you searched already?
You explain.
Subaru: Hm? Then you still have to check here, right?
*Rustle rustle*
Subaru: …
*Rustle rustle*
Subaru: Haah…Not here. …Haah. What a drag. ーー Oi, have you looked underneath here?
You shake your head.
*Rustle*
Subaru: Ah…It fell on the floor.
*Rustle*
Subaru: Haah…God.
He walks up to you.
Subaru: Here you go.
You reach for it.
Subaru: Ah, hold up. You put this in your hair, right? I’ll do it. It’d be annoyin’ to have to fix it a million times while lookin’ in the mirror. I don’t have the patience for that.
*Rustle rustle*
Subaru: If I recall correctly…You always put it ‘round here…Like this?
*Thud*
Subaru: There. That should do. It looks good.
You grow flustered.
Subaru: Hm? Why…are your cheeks red?
You explain.
Subaru: Hah? Why are you embarrassed? …! This wasn’t…really… ー Ugh! Fuck this…You know, I was…a little on edge earlier so…I felt a lil’ bad for how I acted and well…Ah! No! That isn’t it!
You tilt your head to the side.
Subaru: …Aah! What a pain in the ass! …Right.
*Rustle*
Subaru: I just wanted your blood, that’s all. By leanin’ in this close, I can easily sneak in a couple of sips, right?
*Rustle*
Subaru: Come on, keep still…
Subaru bites you.
*Gulp gulp*
Subaru: ー Hah. Haah…Nn…
*Gulp*
Subaru: Mm…Haah. Do you understand now? This is why I approached you. Haahn…
*Gulp*
Subaru: Mm…Nn…Hah…Delicious…Haahn…
*Rustle*
Subaru: Your blood belongs to me…
*Rustle rustle*
Subaru: Don’t you dare…let any of the guys feed off you, ‘kay?
Laito: Bitch-chan~! Subaru-kun~! The limousine’s going to leave!
*Rustle*
Subaru: Che…Guess we have no other choice. Let’s go. Come on.
He grabs hold of your hand.
Subaru: Come. …Just hurry!
You look at your connected hands.
Subaru: Your hand? It’s ‘cause you’re such a damn slowpoke! Now quit whining and lemme hold it!
He drags you out of the room.
ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー
#diabolik lovers#dialovers#shuu sakamaki#reiji sakamaki#ayato sakamaki#kanato sakamaki#laito sakamaki#subaru sakamaki#diabolik lovers translation#diabolik lovers drama cd
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Run, Rabbit, Run
dark!joel miller x f!reader
summary: joel is curious about you, until he finds you undressed in the woods.
a/n: id make this longer if i had any idea how to continue it lmao
warnings: slight noncon ref, dubcon, dark joel like really dark, fem reader, choking, FILTHY talk, mean mean joel, slight dacryphilia, ass-play
1.1k words (will finish if requested)
Like just imagine bumping into miller during the apocalypse
“The hell?” he says like he aint ever seen something like you before.
“I-I am so sorry” he just groans and leaves before you can tell him how starving you are. After that small interaction you think that’d be the last time but to your surprise, he passes by your little rut few times in the week. He never talks to you but he definitely stares, probably due to how you look. You arent the prettiest in the bunch due to your appearance, making you want to sob, youve always been easy to upset. He must think you’re disgusting. Your cries are silent at first as he passes by following some route, you tend to find some nearby water source nearly vomiting at your own mind’s thoughts about you.
Undressing from the torn but still the only piece of clothing you had left, and well had memories attached to it. Youre on display for anyone to see, cleaning yourself desperately trying to scrub off something that was never there in the beginning. A tut can be heard behind you as your eyes shoot open, covering yourself with your hands, almost falling in the rush of adrenaline tensing your muscles. There he was, that strange man that stared and left you here and now again, you felt a scream trying to claw out of your throat but you decided it would be better to not be found by infected due to your cry. However, tears were falling unbeknownst to you as you look pitfully at the larger man.
Your hands gripping onto your skin and covering where it mattered most you shake as your small voice comes out, “Please, dont hurt me.”
He could only hold back a small bit of his chuckle before bursting out, holding his head with his hand as he looks at you with the most sincere eyes, but clearly malice behind them. Like he had done things, horrible things to people, like he had a darkness. Goosebumps vober your body as you squeeze your thighs together, his laugh was like none else.
You liked that he stared just as he did before, but you could tell with your body clean he didnt look at you with a judging stare, more like hungry. You would be lying if you could say you never looked at him like that, mostly because you really were starving but there was another pool of hunger in your stomach that seemed to grow under his gaze everytime.
“Such a pretty lil thing out here on her lonesome, dont ya think I should take ya with me, girlie?” You never wanted to scream yes so loud before, but obviously you realized the meaning behind his words.
To be used in trade for sustenance, of course he needed a flaw, a very fucking horrible one. You stumble as you try to get away, if you went any faster he could hurt you or worse, take what he wanted right now. You grab the worn sun dress, almost tearing as you rushed to put it on, you needed to get out of here now.
“Th-Thank you for the offer, I’d just be a burden, haha…” You pleaded to whatever higher power that would be merciful to you, you started speeding away with the adrenaline pumping making you slightly trip. You nearly scream as you take a look behind you realizing he’s gaining on you, ‘just fuck off’ you cry. He snares his teeth at your harsh words, understanding that you probably didnt pick the best words to throw at the much stronger looking man.
“You tryna run from me, sweet thing? How dumb can you possibly be? You really want to be punished huh, sweetheart” You accidentally let out a groan you wanted to suppress, his words hit you deep, he said all the right things however he was chasing you and you didn’t exactly find yourself in a situation where you wanted to be used in order to not starve to death.
He chuckes darkly at your groan as you fall onto the ground due to not paying attention in front of you, you fall like a clumsy slut your legs spread and your chest against the damp forest floor. You feel tears streaming down your cheeks as you try your hardest to get up as fast as you can but to your dismay you feel large fingers wrap around your ankle as you're pulled back.
“N-Nononono..NO PLEASE!” You shout, he instantly covers your mouth with one firm grip of his other hand, he growls filling you with heat “You tryna get us fucking killed, stupid bitch?!” His punishing hand lands on your exposed skin, the curve of your ass as you feel your body jolt in excitement but you begin sobbing in his hand, falling against him as if he were going to comfort you.
Huge tears falling from your puffy eyes and your lips feeling as though they were drawing in the scent of him, his hand rough and calloused your thoughts run wild as you act without reason. Relaxed but sobbing into him you have the sudden urge to lick the calloused skin, he groans and ruts his hips against your back. You muffle a small ‘sorry’ hoping he would take pity on you, it only fuels him more, the sound of your cries making his pulsing cock unbelievably hard as he controls himself from just splitting you apart on his fat cock.
He imagines the types of wails and cries you’d let out as he fucks into you, he feels your hands reach up onto his forearms, laughing at the way your small hands barley fit around his arms shaking against him. Your sun dress brought up on your ass as you try to squirm away only making the male let out muted moans, you were practically grinding against him like a typical slut. Tears fall down your cheeks again, you begin pleading even though the heat between your legs grows as you feel the outline of his cock bump against your ass.
“P-Pleasee..L-Let me..go” You manage to muffle out as he lays another slap on the flesh of your bare ass, crying out as bouncing against his aching cock. “Fuck, such a fuckin’ slut ‘s right, bounce on my fuckin’ cock.” You whimper, not being able to think straight as you cant even think before speaking. “Stop!” You cry one final time before he grips your throat and squeezes, you feel your breathing slow and you become limp in his arms.
“Weak, pathetic little girl.”
#joel the last of us#joel miller#joel smut#joel x reader#joel x female reader#joel tlou#the last of us#pedro pascal#pedrito#tlou#tlou fic#tlou smut#joel hbo#pedro pascal joel miller
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20 Question Fic Writer Game
Thank you for @needle-noggins for tagging me! Using my limited energy right now to respond, because otherwise I never will, oops.
How many works do you have on AO3? 65. One of them is a collection of prompts with 14 different chapters so, technically, 78 fics total.
What is your AO3 word count? 169,932. Nice. (Almost half of them are written in last 7 months for Trigun.)
What fandoms do you write for? Currently, only Trigun, but there are chances I might drop a fic or two in JJK fandom for Chosoyuki and then disappear. I would also like to finish some WIPs for Braime from GOT, but I don't know if my brain will let me. Never say never, though.
What are your top five fics by kudos?
What can I give that is all for you? These arms are all I have (But I hold you like I do love you) (396, Trigun, Mashwood)
Everything about you is on the tip of my tongue (312, Trigun, Mashwood, my first finished proper multichapter and explicit monsterfucking)
You hold me for a little (Curtains closed to the end of the world) (260, Trigun, Mashwood)
If I'm gonna (lose) love someone, (don't) let it be you (258, GOT, Braime)
this fucking fic that took me a week instead of day or two to write, ENJOY FUCKERS (or don't, I'm not a cop) (234, Trigun, Mashwood, Explicit monsterfucking)
Really fascinating to see how much kudos my Trigun fics used to get when I now often only get 30-50 at best. But, alas. Such is the ups and downs of fandom and I hope it's not reflection of my writing quality vaning as well.
Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Yes, I do. When I first started using to AO3, a writer I admired had the stance that it inflates the comment number and is 'cheating' when it comes to the statistics, but I realized that, at least for me, comments aren't any parameters I search fics by and also I really wanted to feel community and connect with my readers and writers, so I wholly threw myself in responding later on.
What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Oh, that's a good question. Several WIPs come to mind, but as for actual published ones...
I suppose Before you leave, Remember I was with you (You must know you are beloved) could count because it follows canon ending of the Rogue One which means all of the characters die. But it is more of a bittersweet one. In similar vein, If this is communication, I disconnect (I need you, you want me, but I don't know how to connect)
I think You taught me the courage of stars before you left (How light carries on endlessly even after death) overall might win, because it ends on open wound of grief, though it is also canonical death.
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I don't think there is a singular one that is more happy than others. There are so many shades and nuances of happiness, who am I to judge which one is the most valid, the biggest?
Do you get hate on fics? I once joked in author notes that maybe the fic did contain traces of early polyam if you squint and someone was very upset about it, though in text it was just close mutual friendship and some teasing and only the tagged main couple was openly romantically involved. I've gotten some weird comments overall through the years, but thankfully nothing more hateful than that.
Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Much to my own horror, yes, I do now. And apparently mostly the monsterfucking kind. I don't know what else might be meant by 'kind'.
Do you write crossovers? No, that's not something that really comes to my mind. I am too engrossed in exploring every nook and cranny of the canon and characters that are my focus at the time.
Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not fic, as far as I know, but I have had my poetry and RP stories and plots stolen by people I trusted, such as my teacher and close friends at the time.
Have you ever had a fic translated? No, but I've had one podficced!
Have you ever cowritten a fic before? No, but I'd really like to give it a try, I and @bienchanter have a lovely Rancher/Western Mashwood AU we'd like to cowrite, we just can't quite figure how to go about it.
I've also had the pleasure of having them write a companion piece to my fic (theirs and mine) and had the joy of writing companion pieces to @needle-noggins and @frappeflamingo stories.
What's your all-time favourite ship? I am a person who cannot pick just one. I'd say some of the most Rainy defining ones have been Han x Leia, Braime and Mashwood.
What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will? So, so many Braime ones. Especially the ones that are multichapter for fic exchanges. Their recipients deserve better.
What are your writing strengths? Emotions, evocative descriptions.
What are your writing weaknesses? Everything else. Okay, okay, before I get bonked from every direction - I struggle with dialogues and action descriptions and easily get overwhelmed when tackling larger, tightly packed plot.
Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I think it is perfectly valid and even good for characters that would actually mix the languages naturally. I've definitely thrown in some Brazilian words for my Wolfwood, for this reason.
First fandom you wrote for? The Labyrinth on ff.net in 2008 or about there.
Favourite fic you've ever written? I don't have a singular favorite, there is something that I love, something unique that makes me appreciate it in almost all of my bigger stories, even if it's just a joke that was made in conversations with my friends.
Whew, this was long, but fun. Tagging @bienchanter @it-may-be-dull-but-im-determined @firesign23 @sdwolfpup @chickiefoo and @tardisready as well as anyone else who might just want to. But no pressure to, on anyone.
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Inside Out 2 HYPE!!!
metamorcy
Run Away
thegrimadventuresofme
Cat City, Bitch.
simulatedlag
reblogging ts2 cc while pooping
peng5
Untitled