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youllallriseintheink · 3 years

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Prison Cell, chapter 2

This is a story taking place in an AU where the studio became the sketch dimension before most of the sacrifices were made. While this AU will have an emphasis on horror, especially in the later chapters, I also want to show the resilience of some of these characters.

---

"Can I be the one to go down there?" Susie asked.

"No," Abby answered firmly. "First we need to decide what we're going down there for. And I'm sorry, but I don't think it's going to be a rescue mission. I don't trust you not to turn it into one. Beyond that, though, whoever it is, it has to be someone at least somewhat nondescript. So, not you- you're pretty well-known, and your size alone is pretty distinctive. And not me, either- there are no other black women in this studio, so there definitely aren't any who are loyalists. And not Henry- he's a wanted man. Any volunteers?"

In the end, Jack was chosen for the first mission. He was fairly forgettable in appearance, and the one of the two people down there who knew him well wouldn't be one to call him out. Of course, the other was Joey Drew, but he was nonetheless the best candidate.

After Jack had been assigned, there was a brief discussion about where to hide Henry, they found someone to replace Norman as the projectionist, and a circuit of people were chosen to keep watch of the elevator at night so that no one would be attacked.

---

The next day, Jack put on the loyalist robes, traded his hat for a mask, and headed down in the elevator. The first lower floor that the elevator stopped at was at the old breakroom. Two men were there, playing pool in uniforms but no masks. It was strange how normal it looked. Jack figured that the masks must have only been for specific uses, including any visits to the upper floors. Hopefully he didn't stick out like a sore thumb.

"Hey," he said to them, trying to disguise his voice somewhat, "I have to check on the prisoners. I'm covering for a buddy. But he forgot to tell me where they are. Can you help me?"

One of the men gave him a funny look. There were a thousand things that could have given him away. Maybe all loyalists already knew where the prisoners were kept. "Floor 3B. Take two lefts. You can't miss it."

Jack thanked them and left.

Floor 3B was the second-to-last one, and it opened in a nondescript hallway. Once he’d followed the directions, he got to what looked like an unremarkable row of office doors. They looked like that, but Jack could hear someone crying within them, and could smell human waste. This was, undeniably, the place. Jack tried a few doors and found them to be locked. So, after checking to make sure that there was no one else nearby, he tried talking to the people within them. There were six prisoners in total. One of them was Emma LaMonte. Four of them had been a part of a small insurrection early on. Their stories broke Jack’s heart. One of them, Lacie, had been left with a broken leg that they had done nothing to treat. It had set incorrectly and was now a permeant cause of pain and poor mobility. Another of them, Shawn, had been fed ink. The final prisoner was also a surprise.

“Allison? I thought you were a loyalist.”

“I was, but I wasn’t very good at following the rules. Tom caught me breaking a pretty big one. He doesn’t want me to end up dead. So, he dragged me in here, and told the others that I’d done something less severe. Something that would get me locked up a long time, but not killed. I get treated better than the other prisoners, and Tom comes to visit me and take me around most nights like I’m a free person, but he still doesn’t trust me not to get myself killed. I know it’s only temporary, though.”

“Temporary?”

“Well, Tom says that Joey is working on a way out for all of us. I hope that’s true. But I’ve been in the dark pretty much since the beginning.”

Jack nodded. “I’m real sorry this has happened to you. Can I ask what you were doing? Oh- and do you know where there might be more prisoners?”

“I don’t know about other prisoners. But as for what I was doing- I was visiting the outside without permission. I actually did it several times before I got caught. If you want to do it, the portal is on floor 2B.”

“Okay. Thanks again,” Jack said before leaving.

The portal was not hard to find. A door like any other on floor 2B was in fact marked with the word, “portal.” Someone had left their keys in the door. Jack pocketed the keys and went in.

The inside of the room had, in addition to many typical janitorial supplies, a rack of small vials of dark, nearly-black liquid, a set of post-it notes, and a set of instructions. The instructions read,

Step 1: write where you want to go on a note and stick it to a door.

Step 2: pour a vial of blood at the base of the door.

Curious as to how specific one had to be and how far the door’s powers extended, Jack wrote “China” on a note and poured out a vial. He opened the door, and on the other side was wilderness. Perhaps this was the very center of China. After being stunned for a moment at being able to see greenery and smell fresh air for the first time in months, Jack realized that, since the portal worked, there was a much better way he could be using it. Giddy, he wrote down his old address and repeated the ritual. The door opened to a closet in his own house. He could hear his dog barking and the voice of one of his kids, and for a moment he considered abandoning the studio and everyone in it.

Then the door shut, and opened again. Jack was roughly pulled through it, back into the supply closet.

“What were you doing!?” a woman yelled at him. Then, her voice dropped to a whisper. “Okay, give me back my keys and don’t tell anyone I forgot them, and I won’t tell anyone that you snuck a trip through the portal. Got it?” she was clearly just as frightened as he was.

“I won’t tell anyone. But could you please just let me have this? Just for ten minutes. Please?”

The woman appeared to mull this over. “Sure. But seriously- you can’t go through there dressed like that. Here, I’ll hold your mask...” the woman reached for his mask.

Jack backed up against the wall. “Actually, I changed my mind. But don’t worry, I still won’t tell anyone.”

“Wait... you seem familiar...”

Jack opened the door and scrambled to the elevator, not looking back to see if she followed.

---

“Okay, so the good news is that we know that the insurrectionists are alive,” Abby began after Jack had returned back and composed himself enough to report his findings. “And now we know about the portal. That’s very interesting. The bad news is that the prisoners are being kept in awful conditions, and they’re probably going to suspect anyone who’s wearing the mask in public places from now on. I guess the best thing to do is use someone who looks specifically like someone from down there. So, try to remember how the people down there looked. And thank you, Jack. That was very brave of you.”

Jack nodded and left Abby to her work. Planning an insurrection was difficult, and especially so on top of directing the art department. Shortly after Jack left, there was a knock on her door. It was Susie.

“Susie! Hi! did you get that list I asked for?”

Susie smiled. “Yep. Went to every department. There’s a good dozen or so people who are ready to hit the demon with an ax!”

Abby smiled back. Susie had been a big help to her. “Great! I’ll assign them floors.” hopefully the gambit would pay off. Hopefully they weren’t just throwing good fighters away. The forced blood extraction might have been frightening and violating to the people who received it, of whom there were more than a couple, but who knew when the insurrectionists might need their best fighters? If the demon just dragged them away anyhow, then this wasn’t the best use for them. Of course, being a leader in these times meant making a thousand decisions like that with limited information and hoping that things turned out for the better.

---

Days wore on. The guard system on the elevators had lasted all of a single night. The demon, finding a guard on each floor, had taken to eviscerating one of them. By the time the other guards arrived, the demon was standing over a corpse that appeared nearly inside-out. The demon scurried back to the elevator, and left before anything could be done to him.

The missions went poorly as well. Security had increased after Jack had nearly been found out. While the insurrectionists had managed to map out the lower floors (save for the very basement, which was sealed off), and found out that a great many of the loyalists were sick of a mysterious disease that caused blackened, shiny skin, they were unable to steal keys, free the prisoners, or access the portal again. After two weeks of no progress and three deaths, two of which had been killed after having been found out, Abby called the rebellion off. She felt it was what was best for everyone’s welfare, and since the loyalists had banned wearing masks on the lower floors, going undercover had become immensely more dangerous..

Susie continued to bring people together for meetings. She was not organized and dominant as Abby had been, and her meetings tended to be chaotic. The people were angry and had been emboldened. One night, a man stole a uniform and snuck down to the lowest levels. He killed a man with a knife and injured another before being imprisoned. The next day, Sammy came to the music department and escorted Susie to the basement.

"Where are you taking me?” Susie asked as Sammy clicked the elevator button to bring her to the lower floors.

“Don’t worry. No harm is going to come to you yet. This is something that Joey Drew is explicitly allowing. He knows that he needs to stop this rebellion, so he’s going to use sticks and carrots. And, well, this is the carrot.” Sammy’s face was unreadable.

They went into the room labelled “portal.”

“The first thing that I’ve been asked to do is tell you why all of this is necessary. Susie, your blood can open the portals to the outside. There were only six people in the entire studio with the right blood properties to do that, and your rebellion killed one of them last night.”

Susie nodded. “What I’ve never understood is why you don’t just let everyone out. I mean, you have a portal.”

Sammy took off his shirt, revealing a black growth that had spread across his chest, stomach, and shoulders. “If I spend more than a day or two out there, I will get sick and die. The same is true of everyone who was in the room when the ink machine exploded. Some of us are too deformed to even be allowed through the portal anymore. Joey is looking for a way to cure us so that everyone can be free. And until then, he needs your blood.”

“That doesn’t explain why he’s keeping everyone else.”

Sammy cringed. “That’s probably his own selfishness- wanting to maintain his studio the best he can. He’s not exactly as sane as he used to be. But... you’ll find out about that soon enough. For now, Susie, I’m supposed to give you your carrot. We have some money to spend, and I’ve been given permission to take you anywhere in the world you want for the day and send you back with an offering of gifts.”

Susie thought on this. “What if I told you that I wanted my gift to be Norman?”

“You’ll find out about him tonight. He’s a part of the bargaining.”

Susie’s face lit up. “Okay, wonderful!”

The two of them spent a day in Paris together. Afterwards, Sammy sent her back with two first-aid kits. One of them was fully stocked and then some, as it contained much of the contents that had been in the other one. The other they had emptied. Anything from it they couldn’t pack into the first box had been abandoned on the street, and they had filled the box with knives.

“Please promise me that you won’t use these unless absolutely necessary. Joey doesn’t want it to come to war, but if it does, there is a lot he could use against you. The loyalists could poison you with ink, or they could refuse you access to any resources and starve you into compliance. And thankfully, we don’t have guns, but if things ever escalated, we could get them, and you couldn’t. So, please, for own safety, only use these for self-defense.”

“I won’t let anyone know about these. But I'm not sure I can control them. Angry people that feel like they have nothing to lose are... really hard to lead.”

Sammy went quiet.

“Something wrong, Sammy?”

“Well, I told you that we were planning on using sticks and carrots, right? Well, Joey- if I can still call that thing “Joey”- is about to give you your stick. He wants to crush the rebellion with shock and awe. And I’m scared that he’s just going to make everyone angrier.”

Susie didn’t know what to say to that. “It’ll be okay, Sammy.”

“I sure hope so,” he replied, starting to cry.

Finding the portal again was easy- it was right where it had been at the beginning of the day, in some supply closet in some department store. A loyalist checked over what Susie had brought back, but Sammy had made sure that the person to do so would be another sympathizer, so they were let go. They stepped onto the elevator again. “Alright. Time for the stick. I’m supposed to deliver you to the very basement. I’m sorry.”

#Bendy and the Ink Machine #susie campbell #sammy lawrence #abby lambert #Jack Fain #Story: prison cell #my fanfiction

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ericsonclan · 4 years

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Haunted

Summary: Louis comes across something in the woods that shakes him to his very core.

Read on A03:

“…And that’s the story of why I hate cantaloupe,” Louis finished with a flourish, throwing Chairles back over his shoulder.

“Fascinating. Certainly not what I expected,” Prisha had her own weapon sheathed at her side, the metal tapping against her thigh as they walked amongst the traps. “You know, I’ve never been much of a picky eater myself. My parents would never listen if I did complain about a certain meal, and I guess the years on the road beat out whatever peculiarities I had toward food in the first place,”

“Yeah, Clem’s the same way. Put literally anything edible in front of her and she will demolish it,” Louis shook his head with a smile.

Prisha watched Louis in amusement. It was sweet how proud Louis got over every little thing Clementine did, turning mundane facts into full-on accomplishments. Clementine seemed to appreciate the attention as well, though sometimes the praise got to be a bit much even for her. She’d compensate by throwing compliments right back at Louis which the poor boy couldn’t handle at all, quickly devolving into a flustered mess. It was the strangest form of competition Prisha had ever seen.

“Hey, did Violet ever tell you about the time she ate a horse eyeball?”

“What?”

“Yep! To think you’ve been kissing lips that have eaten that,” Louis winked playfully before protesting as Prisha socked him in the arm. “Ow! You two certainly are a match,”

Prisha looked away, not wanting to share the smile tugging at her own lips. It had only been a couple of weeks since she and Violet had made things official and told the rest of the group they were dating. Everyone had been ecstatic for them, especially Louis. Of course, he tried to claim credit for the entire thing, saying that he was the one who dragged Violet down to the trading camp to begin with. Prisha knew Louis was partially right, but neither she nor Violet wanted to give him the satisfaction of admitting it.

A growl came from Prisha’s right side. Her eyes shot up, her good hand immediately resting upon the hilt of her axe. Louis had Chairles ready in hand, his eyes scanning the clearing. They hadn’t seen James in several weeks which likely meant he’d migrated further south for a while. With him gone, some herds had begun to make their way into Ericson territory. It looked like there were several flanking both sides. Best to clear them out than risk being cornered worse during a retreat.

Louis was the first to attack. Swinging out, he bashed a walker’s head in before it could reach either of them. Prisha whipped her axe to the right, impaling another walker’s skull before pulling her weapon out with a sickening squelch. They were both melee fighters. That meant their aim had to be true and their coordination sharp to avoid mistiming an attack and ending up trapped in a walker’s grasp.

“Come on, buddy. Over here,” Louis teased, egging one of the walkers on to separate it from the others. As it approached, he caught it on the upswing, knocking its jaw clean off. With another hit it was dead.

Prisha kicked out a walker’s knee, taking a page from Clementine’s book and buying herself more time as she took a defensive stance against the nearest walker. Her blow hit near one of the eyes, pulling it out as she drew her weapon back.

This wasn’t too bad. There were less than a half dozen walkers left and they were spaced out far enough to leave options for attacks. Louis swiped out at another walker. Chairles became embedded in the side of the walker’s skull, but not deep enough to kill it. Improvising, Louis swung again, pinning the walker to a tree and smashing its head between the trunk and Chairles. In some strange way, its death reminded him of the first day he’d gone hunting with Clementine and invited her to play walker piñata. Those days were behind him though.

A low moan behind him reminded Louis that his work still wasn’t done. Pivoting backwards, he struck the walker with all his might. It immediately slumped lifelessly to the ground. That was when Louis got his first clear view of its face, or what remained of it. Immediately he felt sick. He’d seen hundreds of walkers at this point, maybe thousands. Killed countless ones over the years. But he’d never seen one with a face that reminded him so much of his past. The jaw, the receding hairline, the shape of its nose… even amidst all the decay, Louis felt as if he was looking into the dead face of his father.

“Louis, get over here! We’ve still got three more!” Prisha turned to see what was taking him so long. Louis stood with his back to her, hunched over, his hands on his knees. What was going on? “Louis?”

No response.

She’d have to handle them herself. Turning back to the walkers, Prisha internally cursed her bad luck, wishing she still had two good arms for the millionth time before circling to the side of the walkers and striking one against the side of the head. The walker immediately dropped dead. The fusion of the parietal and sphenoid still remains the weakest point on the skull, Prisha thought to herself. She always ended up rotating through random trivia when she got nervous. Sometimes the points came in handy.

The second walker lurched forward with surprising speed, latching onto Prisha’s bum arm. With an angry cry Prisha began to hack away at its arm. On the third strike she’d torn through enough of the muscle and was able to break free, surging forward to nail the culprit right between the eyes. Throwing the lifeless corpse on top of the final walker, Prisha strode forward, smashing its face under her boot until a bloody, indistinguishable mess lay where its head once was. She then turned to check on Louis.

Things had gotten worse. Louis had collapsed against a tree now. His face was obscured by his dreadlocks, but Prisha could tell by the rise and fall of his shoulders that he was breathing heavily. She hurried over, sheathing her weapon so she could place her hand upon his shoulder. “Louis, stay with me. What’s going on? Are you bit?” Her eyes scanned his body for bite marks but couldn’t find any. Pushing back his hair, Prisha looked into her friend’s eyes. They were glassy with tears. “Can you stand up, Louis? I’m taking you home. We’ll send someone else out to check the traps,” Louis didn’t acknowledge that he’d heard her. He seemed to be trapped within his thoughts, his eyes darting back and forth but not focusing on anything in front of him. Prisha slid her arm behind Louis, slipping it underneath his own arms to try and hoist him to his feet. “I need you to try to stand, Louis. Can you do that for me?”

Her words seemed to break through this time, at least enough for Louis to put effort into rising to his feet. After a few seconds he was up, though still leaning against the tree for support.

“Alright, I have my weapon. Do you have yours?”

Louis wouldn’t look up. “Over there,” he murmured, weakly gesturing to his right.

Prisha spotted the weapon buried deep within a walker’s skull. Approaching it hesitantly, Prisha grabbed the base of the chair leg and pulled it out with a firm yank. She observed the walker with a morbid curiosity. Was this what had caused such a visceral reaction in Louis? From the age of the walker, it didn’t look like it could have been one of the students in its past life before it turned. Perhaps one of the teachers? Were there walkers the Ericson kids would still recognize wandering round these woods? There was no time to figure this out now. She had to get Louis home. Prisha looked at Louis’ chair leg in her hand. Could she carry it and support him at the same time?

“I can take it,” Louis’ voice wavered. “Chairles. I can carry him- it,”

“Alright then,” Prisha handed the weapon over to Louis. She was surprised at the strength of his grasp upon it. Coming over to his left side, Prisha placed her arm around his shoulder. “We’re going to take things slow. I’ll keep an eye out for danger. You just focus on walking, OK?”

Louis nodded, gulping roughly before he took a shaky breath. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,”

“It’s fine, Louis. Let’s just get home. We can talk once we’re behind the walls,”

---

It was a little ways home. They’d expanded the traps to a new area of the forest in order to avoid thinning out the rabbit population in any one region too much. It had seemed like a wise decision at the time, but now Prisha was wishing they’d waited to make the change. She could tell that Louis’ strength was faltering. Whatever adrenaline he had summoned to help get the two of them home might not last till they reached the gates.

“Just a little further, Louis. Focus on putting one foot in front of the other,” She could feel his weight increasing against her arm. If he fell, she wasn’t sure if she could lift him back up. She certainly couldn’t leave him in this state, not even to run and get help. We’ll cross that bridge if we come to it,Prisha decided, setting her jaw and pressing onward.

As soon as they were within eyesight of the gates, Willy spotted them. Immediately his eyes widened. “Clem, Aasim, something’s wrong! Prisha and Louis are back early!” He leapt down from the watchtower to help, throwing open the gate and running forward to take Louis’ other side.

Prisha offered him a weak smile. “Thanks, squirt,”

“What’s wrong? Is he bit?”

“I don’t think so. He saw something out there that shook him up. I think if we get him inside to rest for a while, he’ll be fine,” They made their way through the gate together.

Omar immediately closed it behind them. “What can I do?”

“Get Ruby. Also some cold water if we have any,” Prisha instructed.

Omar nodded, running off.

Clementine emerged from the admin building, her eyes wide. “Louis!” She rushed down the stairs, mistiming her steps. Her prosthetic crumpled beneath her, sending her tumbling to the ground. Aasim rushed up behind her, trying to help her to her feet. She swatted his hands away, pushing herself back up and striding forward. As Prisha sat Louis down at the nearest picnic bench, Clementine reached them. “What happened?”

“We ran into a pack of walkers and Louis froze. I don’t think he’s bit. It must be something else,”

Clementine cupped Louis’ face, turning it from side to side, checking him for bites. “Louis?”

Louis was lucid, but seemed ashamed, his eyes lowered.

Clementine peeled off his coat, checking his arms for bites before moving to his legs. When she was sure he was clean, she turned back to Prisha. “What the hell happened out there?”

“I… I honestly don’t know,” Prisha answered, eyes helpless. “He was right beside me joking one second and the next he was slumped on the ground against a tree. I think, maybe… perhaps it had something to do with the last walker he fought,”

An ugly sob escaped Louis’ throat. Bending forward, his head fell into his hands as weeping shook his frame. His hands curled into his dreadlocks, gripping them fiercely.

“Louis,” Clementine sat down beside him, an arm going round his shoulders. “You’re safe, OK? You’re home. I’m right here,”

A.J. had appeared beside Prisha, a confused expression upon his face. “What’s wrong with Louis?”

Aasim put a hand upon his shoulder. “We’re not sure yet. Let’s just give him some space for now, OK?”

The pounding of feet came from the direction of the dorms. Prisha looked up to see Violet barreling towards them. She stopped just short of collision, her breathing shaky. “Willy said there was an accident. What happened? Where’s-”

“I’m here, Vi,” Prisha said, reaching out to take her girlfriend’s hand.

Violet grasped onto her like a vice. “Prisha! Are you… did…”

“I’m not bit,” Prisha’s thumb rubbed circles against Violet’s hand. “I’m OK,” She could feel Violet’s hand trembling slightly beneath her. She hated seeing her so frightened.

Violet relaxed for a moment before stiffening again. “Louis. Is he-”

“He’s here too,” Willy piped in. “Prisha said he’s not bit either,”

Violet’s expression was still somber. Though she couldn’t see her friend clearly, Prisha knew she could hear the sobbing. None of them were sure what to do.

“Clear out, everybody!” Ruby ordered, marching through the group to reach Louis. She observed him for a second before turning to Prisha. “No bites?”

“No bites. We’ve checked multiple times,”

Ruby shook her head, her lips pursed. “This ain’t normal behavior for a bite victim anyway. This looks like trauma. What went down out there?”

“It seemed like a normal herd to me. We were about halfway through when Louis just fell apart,” Prisha sighed, lowering her eyes. “I wish I knew more,”

Ruby turned back to look at Louis. “Give him a few minutes. Everyone but Clem clear out. We can talk as soon as he’s gotten it all out,”

It seemed an odd treatment, doing nothing, but no one dared defy Ruby. They each returned to their respective tasks, Ruby staying nearby and helping Omar with his dinner prep. Clementine stayed by Louis’ side, an arm around his shoulders, gently rubbing his back as she waited for the tears to subside. She hated feeling so helpless. Louis was always so happy amid everything. To see him like this was heartbreaking. She never wanted him to feel such pain. But all she could do was wait and hope that her presence and calming words did some good.

Eventually the tears subsided. Louis looked up wearily, his eyes rid-rimmed and wet. “Clem…” his throat was hoarse. “I’m sorry I scared you. Are you OK?”

“Me? Louis, don’t worry about me,” Clementine placed a hand on Louis’ cheek, wiping away some of the tears. “Are you OK?”

“I-” Louis gulped harshly, the emotions rising within him again. “I can’t talk about it. Not right now,”

“That’s fine,” Clementine brushed a dreadlock out of his eyes. “Let’s get you inside. I think you could use some rest,” They got to their feet together, rather shaky at first but slowly making their way to the dorms.

Ruby bustled behind them. “Will somebody who’s not 4’9” or using a prosthetic leg come over and help?”

Aasim hurried over, taking Louis’ other side. Prisha met them on the walkway, taking Clementine’s place as they led Louis upstairs. Louis didn’t seem as woozy now; he was simply exhausted. His feet dragged underneath him as they made their way through the hallway, approaching the room he shared with Clementine and A.J.

Violet was waiting by the door. She opened it for them, remaining silent as they shuffled inside and lay Louis upon the bed. Once everyone had filed out except Clementine, Violet stepped inside, walking over to where Clem sat on the bed gently running her fingers through Louis’ hair. “I can stay with him if you need me to. I know you were working on something important today,”

Clementine considered the offer for a second. She had been working with Aasim on a strategy with which to approach a group they’d spotted along the riverbank. They hadn’t seen them in person yet but had come across their campsites in their patrols. This wasn’t something that could be set aside indefinitely. “Thanks. I won’t be long,”

Violet nodded. “I’ll let you know if anything happens,”

Clementine looked down at Louis. His eyes were closed, fluttering eyelashes showing he wasn’t yet asleep. His cheeks were still wet with tears, his face reddened from exertion. She couldn’t imagine what had traumatized him so deeply. She hoped he’d tell her later, but only if it would help. Right now he needed to sleep. “I’ll be back soon, OK, Lou?”

He weakly nodded.

Clementine placed a gentle kiss against his cheek before rising to her feet. Unsure what else to say, she left the room.

---

The meeting with Aasim didn’t last much longer. Both of them knew whatever plan they came up with would be thrown out the window once actual interaction with the group complicated manners. After attempting to plan for several contingencies, they decided to call it a night. Aasim and Prisha would head out tomorrow to meet with the travelers if all went well. With that done, the two of them headed outside to grab dinner.

Everyone at the table was curious to know how Louis was doing. Ruby had gone up to check on him, bringing some food and water up with her. She reported that Louis appeared physically healthy. She expected him to fully recover but couldn’t give them an estimate on how long that would take. She was also adamant that the matter of what traumatized Louis must be laid to rest, only brought up by him if he wished to discuss it. She glared pointedly at A.J. and Willy at that part of the conversation, making it clear that they were the ones she was addressing first and foremost.

Clementine gulped down her food quickly, not really tasting anything as her thoughts were still with Louis.

A.J. watched her worriedly. He’d eaten even faster than her, as usual. “I can sleep in Willy’s room tonight if that’s better for Louis,”

“That’s a great idea, kiddo. It’ll probably be better to visit tomorrow. I bet Louis will be happy to see you then,”

A.J.’s eyes lit up with excitement. “I know! Willy and I will make Louis a get-well card! He’ll love that! Just like when we made one for Omar when he caught a cold!”

“That was very considerate,” Omar noted, a warm smile on his face as he watched the two boys. “If you want, you two can head out now. I’ll handle the dishes,”

“Woohoo!” Willy cheered, jumping up from the table. “Race you to the dorms, A.J.!” With that he was off like a shot.

“Quiet walking, boys,” Ruby called after them, but it was too late. They were long gone.

“Well, I’m going to head up too,” Clementine rose to her feet, grabbing her bowl to clear her spot. “I’ll see you all tomorrow,” With a series of murmured goodbyes following her, she was off. It didn’t take long to reach the door of her room. It was quiet inside. Clementine slowly cracked open the door, peeking inside.

Violet was sitting upon the edge of the bed where Louis’ lay, holding a card close up to her face. “Ah, this fucker. I remember last time I drew this one. You dared me to burp the ABCs. A week and a half into dating Prisha too. Jerk,” She picked up another card, a smile crossing her face this time. “Now this one was the card you drew in the last round you lost. How’d it feel when Aasim made you tell Clem about those three months when your voice couldn’t decide whether to crack or not and everything you said came out all squeaky? Never mind, don’t tell me. I can imagine it just fine,”

Louis lay beside Violet, his eyes open now. One of his hands held Violet’s, leaving her with only one free hand to look at his cards. He was still silent, but seemed at peace now, at least externally.

Both of them looked up at Clementine as she stepped into the room.

“Sorry to interrupt,”

“Nah, I was just telling Louis about some stupid shit to help pass the time. I can head out if you want,”

“Or you can stay,” Clementine looked to Louis, but it was impossible to get a read on his emotions.

“I’ll head out for now,” Violet gently slipped her hand out of Louis’. “See you tomorrow, Lou,”

“Prisha’s still outside if you’re looking for her,” Clementine offered.

“Thanks,” Violet slipped out quickly, shutting the door behind her. Clementine knew she’d been worried about Prisha ever since she and Louis had returned to the school. She appreciated her willingness to keep watch over Louis in spite of that. At the same time, seeing Louis like this had probably troubled Violet deeply as well. It wasn’t easy being torn two ways.

Clementine sat down on the bed, removing her boots and setting aside her prosthetic before crawling up beside Louis and slipping her arms around him. She placed a soft kiss against the back of his neck, sighing as she rested her head against him. They were silent together, the only sound in the room the buzzing of the cicadas outside. Clementine could feel Louis’ heartbeat, slow, steady. He would be alright. She had to believe that.

“I saw my dad today,” Louis’ voice came out dry, cracked. “Or at least I thought I did,”

Clementine wasn’t sure what to make of that. Of all the things she’d worried might have happened to Louis, seeing a parent wasn’t one of them. She remained silent, wondering if Louis would say more.

“It was that walker, the one Prisha mentioned. I took it out and then, its face-” Louis choked, the emotions becoming too much for him to handle once more.

Gently, Clementine turned him over so he could sob against her shoulder, his body shaking as she held him as tightly as she could. Softly she hummed to him, the same tune she used when A.J. was young.

It took a few minutes for Louis to still once more. He pulled away slightly, his eyes still watery. “I don’t know if it was him. It probably wasn’t. Just somebody who looked like him. It was an old walker too, all dried up. I’m surprised it looked like anything at all,”

Clementine played with one of Louis’ dreads as he spoke, curling and uncurling it round her finger. He hadn’t talked much about his parents, only a few times in passing since that hootenanny the night before they stormed the Delta. From what he’d said, she didn’t think Louis father had been a very kind man. But that didn’t mean he wouldn’t mourn him. The feeling he was recounting was all too real to her. Her right hand tightened round his waist.

Louis was still trapped within his own thoughts. “I used to wonder if they’d come for me, my mom and dad. They had the money and resources to pull it off, either one of them. Still, with the whole word going up in flames at once I guess money didn’t count for shit then. They probably died long ago a thousand miles away from here,”

“It hurts not knowing,” Clementine murmured. “I remember when everything started and my parents were gone, I used to carry around this old walkie talkie at all times. Even though I knew it wouldn’t work that way, I used to use it to talk to them, pretend that Lee and I were going to find them. And when we did…” Her voice trailed off.

Louis’ eyes widened. He’d heard this story before. “Clem, I- shit. Your parents. That’s exactly what happened. You saw them and here I am crying about some stranger in the woods and bringing it all back for you,” He shifted as if to move away.

“No, Louis,” Clementine gripped his shoulders, keeping him in place. “What happened with my parents was a long time ago. This happened today. You don’t have to worry about me. I can handle it,”

Louis looked so unsure. His hand reached out, a thumb running along Clementine’s cheek.

“I can handle it, I promise,” Clementine could feel her heart pounding in her ears. She’d buried that day so deep within her heart. She never let herself dwell on it, never even dared touch it. “I can handle it, I can,” Louis’ hand was warm against her skin, his fingers curled within her hair. She needed a haircut. Clementine felt tears stinging her own eyes. “I-I…”

Now she was the one crying. Louis’ arms were tight against her back, holding Clementine close. She could feel her shoulders shaking but she couldn’t stop them. She didn’t want to be back there in that moment. All the terror, the shame, the despair she felt that day, how could she still feel that pain? Why could it never go away? Her hair felt wet. Louis was still crying too. They were just two kids again, lonely, abandoned, helpless. Clinging to each other.

Clementine wasn’t sure how long it took before she felt herself drifting free of the crippling pain. She reached up blindly, shifting so she could see Louis’ face once more. The depths of fear and love within his eyes centered her. He needed her. And he was here for her. Resting her head upon his chest, Clementine let out a shaky sight. “We’re both fucking messes, aren’t we?”

“I suppose so,” Louis’ fingers travelled down her spin, mapping out each vertebra. “I’m sorry I brought that all back for you,”

“It’s never fully gone. It would have come out sooner or later. I’m glad it was with you,”

“I’m glad you’re here with me,” Louis murmured. “I guess what scared me the most about seeing that walker was wondering which reality I wanted to be true: that my dad is holed up in some underground bunker alive and well or that he died on his way to rescue me,” He was silent for a moment, thoughtful. “Can I ask a question, even if it might be awful?”

Clementine simply nodded.

“Does knowing that they’re dead help?”

There wasn’t an easy answer for that. “Maybe sometimes. I know for sure I don’t have anything or anybody waiting for me outside these walls. Then again, some days I wish I could just believe that they’re alive and happy, not wandering the streets of Savannah like that,” She looked up at Louis. “Wherever your parents are, I know they’d want you to be happy and safe too, no matter what happened between you. They’re your parents,”

Louis’ eyes were turned away, his jaw tense. “If either of them looked for me after all, if that happened to them because of me-”

“Louis,” Clementine held his face in her hands, turning it downwards to look at him. “You’re worth saving. You always have been,”

That’s when she saw it. The same shock and confusion on Louis’ face that had been there when she told him he was too important to lose. Deep down he was still that scared little boy abandoned at the gates of Ericson just like she was a terrified little girl trying to escape the streets of Savannah.

But then his expression shifted. Louis closed his eyes, bringing his forehead to rest against Clementine’s. “You always believe in me, no matter what,”

“You’ve never given me reason not to,”

Louis’ hand drifted over to Clementine’s. They rose together, the pads of their fingers barely touching. “I’m never going to get any answers. Not about my dad or my mom. I’ll be OK though, because I have you,” His eyes caught hers, a small light shining within them. “You and all the others,”

He was going to be alright. Clementine felt a tension loosen within her at his words. “Are you feeling better now?”

Louis was silent before looking back at her. “Is it alright if I’m not? Not yet at least. Not completely,”

Clementine nodded. “Take your time. However long you need,” She pressed her lips to his in a soft kiss. “I’ll be right here with you,”

“I love you, Clementine,” Louis murmured, burying his head in the crook of her neck.

“I love you too,”

The room had darkened as they’d spoken, night creeping upon them. Clementine felt her eyelids flutter shut, the exhaustion of the day seeping out from her very bones. Louis’ breathing was steady and soft beside her. That was all she could ask for. They’d make it through this, just like they had with everything else. They’d continue – together.

#clouis #fanfic #angst #twdg louis #twdg clementine #twdg privet

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storytime-hoe · 5 years

Text

Tough Love Ch.1

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x O/C

Summary: Story picks up during season three as the group goes into Woodbury to rescue Glenn and Maggie from the Governor. However, they pick up another prisoner of Woodbury, Emma (O/C). She is a thief who fears friendships after her hard losses. She stays on the move, studying communities from afar and then robbing them blind. She has stayed alive this way for a while until the Governor catches her in the act. Now she finds herself with the group from the prison in a mission to kill the Governor for what he has done to her. She plans on stealing supplies from the prison group after the Governor is killed, but she might be growing a little too close to the groups members, especially one man in particular: Daryl Dixon.

Warnings: Slow burn, language, usual twd violence, mentions of abuse/rape

Authors Note: This is my very first fan fiction so please don't be too mean about it. I'm trying… sort of. I am a little rusty so sorry if this sucks. But like this chapter is a slow start but it will get better I promise. Leave some feed back because I would like to improve my writings. Thank you for reading!

I never thought I would reach a breaking point. I always had something to fuel me, to keep me going. Even when my mom died I got through it because I just knew that I had to. Back then it didn't matter how much pain I was in or how tired I was or how depressed I felt, I kept going fucking no matter what. There was a purpose to keep going back then though, someone I was responsible for: my little brother. I would've done anything for him. But when the time for him to go did come, all I did was nothing.

Once my brother was gone I felt a curtain of darkness consume me. For a while I teetered on the line between giving up and seeing how much I could take. But the second I laid eyes on the Governor I think I tumbled head over heels towards giving up.

I held out against the abuse I was put through in Woodbury for as long as I could. I spent weeks shivering in the small shit room he kept me in. The damn Governor used to come in everyday. I became trained to hear his heavy footsteps entering my room. The moment he came in I could anticipate what he intended to do with me that day. Sometimes he just got his anger out on me through beatings. Other times he liked to grope me or make me take off my clothes, letting himself run his slimy hands over every fucking part of me. The day he did more than just run his hands over me was the day I felt myself become drained of my worth. I felt like I was nothing.

I prayed for the end. I wanted more than anything to be taken away from under the control of the Governor, no matter how my freedom would come about. He had broken me, as much as I hate to admit it. But, I had been through hell and hell changes you. It changes who you are and who you would've been. I would never be the girl I once was. I was torn apart from the inside out. I didn't trust anyone anymore; he made me the cold hearted bitch I am today.

I felt like a pitiful animal, huddled up in the empty room, holding onto myself as if that could protect me. My body shook and muscles spasmed from time to time. Blood was starting to crust over and dry onto my lip from my nose. However, the last beating I had taken was not from the Governor. He had ordered his henchman, Merle, to try and get information about that fucking prison from me. The thing was, I didn't have any.

The Governor always suspected that I knew more than I let on. I was a damn snake, that was for sure, and I knew everything about Woodbury before they even knew about me. It made sense that he would assume I know about his rivals at the prison too, but I hadn't gotten to them yet. Woodbury had enough valuable things for me to take at the time.

That's what I do. I stop by communities that people have built up and I scope out everything about them. I learn the ins and outs; I memorize everything about the place from the faces of the people to the sewage systems underground to the amount of provisions they have. When I find an opportunity, I strike. I come in secretly and take what I need to survive. However, I never take more than I need or too much so that they won't pull through from the loss. I pat myself on the back for that. It's nice of me to be thinking of others. It made me feel like I wasn't a total asshole.

I went on thousands of looting missions and had never been caught before, or if I had I was always able to slip away or talk myself out of any real trouble. I was sly as a fox back then. But the day I hit Woodbury, the precious Governor was supposed to be out. I had everything planned perfectly. He was to go out at sunrise with his men to inspect the pits they kept of Walkers. He had a schedule to keep to and he always did, but not that day.

I should've accounted for his whore. I never should've let it slip up. But he stayed in with her passed time to go on his run. He was still in Woodbury and I had no idea. When he found me in the pantry I was too in shock. I tried to shake the bewilderment that he was there. He looked pissed, but he locked away his angry demeanor and quickly talked to me like I was a wild horse that he was trying to tame. The thing is that I was too stubborn to be tamed.

I attacked him with the only weapon I had, a small knife. He knocked it from me after I put up a hell of a fight. I was proud that his nose was gushing blood by the time he had me restrained. His buddies came in after hearing our ruckus and I was knocked out cold. I must've been captive in Woodbury for weeks. I barely had anything to eat anymore. My muscles, which were at one time toned and impressive, were weakening.

The Governor hadn't come to me in a few days. Merle would come in and give me a small tray of molded food, but that was it. He used to stay and talk with me sometimes, just to get some stuff off of his chest. He would talk about his little brother and how they got separated a while back. I felt bad for him at first, but when he came in one day and told me how his brother was seen in the area, I ridiculed him endlessly for being too big of a coward to go after him. Merle liked his happy little life in Woodbury; he had it all here. So when I called him out for his bullshit he got mad and eventually our little chats came to an end. I wasn't surprised, slightly disappointed, but not surprised. I could almost be content with life when Merle would sit around with me and talk about how much his life has sucked. Even if I did hate his guts, anything was better than being stuck alone with my own thoughts to haunt me.

I held the thin shirt I had to me. My pants and shoes had holes worn into them. My hair was so tatted and dirty that I probably looked like a wild animal at a glance. I hadn't cleaned off in a month probably, maybe more.

I was sniffling in the corner, waiting for it all to end, when I heard the gunshots. They were close. Too close. There had to be a fight in Woodbury. My mind immediately thought of the group at the prison that the Governor was so desperate to get information about. They were here, attacking. Everything in me hoped they would put an end to the Governor, but another part of me hoped they didn't. I wanted to kill him for myself.

Multiple shouts echoed outside of my door followed by a spray of gunshots. I flinched before ducking my head down between my legs and hunkering with my hands over my head for protection as dust and pieces of the cheap room I was in rained down on me.

I thought about calling out to them, thinking they might help me, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't trust them, even if these people were against the Governor, they might come in and treat me worse than he has. I couldn't risk facing another person like the Governor, or someone who might be worse. I hated myself for being afraid and I hated the Governor for making me think this way now. He made me an untrustworthy monster and I hated the power he had over me, how he had snuffed out any fire in me, how he had caged my soul and thrown away the key.

Just then the door of my room was kicked open with a terrifying force. My heart hammered in my chest. I shook in the corner, staring at the ground and not at whoever was entering, afraid of what I might see. I heard the movement and clicks of their weapons. I knew what was probably going to happen, I just wanted it to happen already. I was ready to go. I couldn't fight anymore. I was done and ready to join those I left behind. I was ready to join my family again.

"Another one of his hostages." The gruff voice was full of disappointment and had a long southern drawl to it.

I still refused to look at the people who were in front of me, but I could feel that there were only two of them present. The figures inspected be from behind their weapons.

"Where's Maggie and Glenn?"

"Do you know where they keep any other prisoners?"

I didn't answer. I didn't know the answers. Just shoot me. Please shoot me.

One of them grabbed my shoulders roughly, attempting to shake me from my vacant state. I looked up into his face for the first time. He wasn't like the Governor, I could tell instantly. He didn't fake anything like the Governor does. He wore no mask of who he really was. He wasn't a bad person, though his actions would say otherwise. He wanted answers; he was eager to find his people. His soft eyes pleaded with me almost, as if they could will the answers from me.

I opened my mouth, but no words came out, only strangled sounds of my dry throat. I shook my head to get the message across that I had no idea where his friends were.

A look of grief and anger washed over him. He released my arms and stormed away, back towards the other man in the room.

"We jus' gonna leave 'er?" The other man asked, his crossbow still pointed at me cautiously.

The first guy stopped in the doorway and ran a hand over his curled hair, thinking about what my fate should be. "Bring her. She might know a few things about this place. Anything can help."

My stomach lurched at the command. They only wanted me for information just like the Governor did and I was willing to bet they would take the same actions against me to get it. I was being used one after the other. I would've cried if I had any tears left in me.

The guy with the crossbow looked at me through his scope. Shoot me.

His fingers twitched around the trigger that would release the arrow into my skull. Kill me.

He lowered the weapon slightly and looked at me with an understanding. I felt the pull of his gaze like a magnet. I couldn't stop myself from looking him in the face. His squinted blue eyes bore into me as I silently pleaded for him to save me from this shit-show. I didn't want to walk out of Woodbury, I wanted to be put out of my misery right here and now. He could tell what I was asking for. I was miserable and he knew that. That's why my heart broke when he grumbled for me to get up.

My brain screamed to sit still. But my legs found the strength to work and I was following him out of the door in seconds. I wanted to sit in my room, refuse to go, then maybe he would've killed me, but I was not risking staying around to chat with the Governor in the aftermath. I had to choose what I thought was the lesser of two evils.

The stranger with the crossbow led me out into the smoke and chaos that now filled the hall. The first man I spoke to was running for the exit with an injured guy hanging from his shoulder. A young girl followed quickly behind them. Looks like they found their friends, Glenn and Maggie.

I followed after them into the streets, having no other choice. We rushed inside a building where Glenn was dropped to the ground. Each breath he took looked to put him in pain. He didn't have a shirt on, and he held his arm cradled against him. Not to mention the blood that covered injuries on his swollen and badly bruised face. I knew who did this to him without a second thought, and Glenn confirmed it too.

"Daryl," he breathed out in pain as his little girlfriend Maggie wrapped a shirt onto him. "This was Merle."

The guy with the crossbow–Daryl–looked at him in almost disbelief.

"He threw a Walker at me. He was going to execute us," Glenn continued, his face a scrunched up picture of agony.

"My brother's the Governor?" Daryl growled out and took a few aggressive steps closer, visibly hungry for more information.

My eyes widened at the statement. Brother. This was Merle's brother that he had talked so much about? Are you fucking kidding me? I almost couldn't believe it. The thought actually almost made me laugh. Merle was a douchebag through and through, but this guy didn't seem too bad at all. Sure he gave off the usual strong headed vibe like Merle, but he wasn't the creep that checked out every pair of tits that passed him. And when he first looked at me in that room, I felt a sense of calmness. The only thing I felt towards Merle was disgust, and occasionally a bitter hatred.

"He's not the Governor," I offered, my voice a croaking mess from not being used in so long, and they all turned to me, making me shift uncomfortably. It was the first time I had spoken in days and I barely recognized my own voice as I did. "Merle's his right hand man. The Governor's an even worse piece of shit then him, believe it or not."

Daryl seemed torn as he paced around, his mind whirling with mixed thoughts and emotions. "Does he know I'm with this group still?"

"He does now," Maggie said, the venom dripping from her words. Looks like she hated Merle almost as much as I did.

"Rick, we told him where the prison was. We couldn't hold out." Glenn's face twisted with pain again.

"Don't be sorry," Rick said and got up to glance out the windows, his eyes flicking around wildly, surveying the area. "Can you walk?"

Glenn nodded as he was helped to his feet by Maggie.

Daryl swallowed hard and stepped towards the door, ready to take off into the streets again. "If Merle is 'ere I need to see 'em." The eagerness in his voice was unmistakable. My heart lurched out for him. I knew that if the brothers' positions were switched, Merle would be sprinting out of here without a second thought for Daryl.

Rick put a hand on the door to stop Daryl from leaving without thinking clearly. "We need to get out. We are in hostile territory."

"Maybe I can talk to 'em. Work somethin' out."

I shook my head. There was no way Merle loved Daryl like he claimed to if he stayed back in Woodbury all this time knowing his brother was a few miles out in the prison. I felt obligated to tell Daryl that, to help him out and make him realize that Merle was not who he wanted him to be. Daryl was the first person to look at me like I wasn't scum on the bottom of their shoes. When he found me, his gaze might've been filled with sympathy for me, but now our positions were switched. My heart broke at the sight of him distraught over his brother, someone he loved so much, when Merle would never feel the same.

Good thing was that I didn't have to be the one to talk him out of it. Rick did the job for me. "You're not thinking straight. They are hurt and we need to get them back. If we run into Walkers or if the Governor catches up to us? I need you. Are you with me?"

It was strange how much Rick looked to care about Daryl. He was the kind of brother that Daryl deserved, not Merle. I hoped he could see that. I don't know why I cared so much about people I didn't know. Maybe I was feeling that my own brother could have, or should have, found someone better than me? If my brother found someone like Rick to take care of him maybe he would still be alive.

Daryl gnawed on his bottom lip with hesitation. I could see him debating in his mind what his next move would be. He glanced at the floor and back up at Rick. I stood behind Rick's shoulder silently. When his eyes flicked over to mine it was almost as if he were reading my mind again. It was a mistake to go after Merle right now and we all knew that. I was relieved to hear him mumble an agreement to Rick as he looked back down at the ground.

Rick nodded back at him and turned to me sharply, pressing a bowie knife in my hand with a cold look of warning to stay in line. I stared back at him blankly, not letting him read my emotions. Daryl tossed out a smoke bomb and the streets of Woodbury became a sight of chaos and gunfire in the matter of seconds.

People were dropping dead from gunshots that looked to have come out of nowhere. The rush of being out in a fight and danger again coursed through my veins. With each breath I felt a part of me returning; it gave me hope. I felt almost okay again. Maybe the Governor hadn't shattered me completely.

Despite how weak my muscles felt from the amount of time I sat dormant in a cell, I was overtaken with an urge to get revenge. My skin flushed with the anger I felt towards the Governor and, even though I didn't know everyone in Woodbury, I hated them all too. Walkers were flashing across my sight of vision in the clear patches in the smoke. I stood still and watched it all happening around me, drinking in the screams of the falling.

A Walker spotted me from within the smoke and he was slowly coming for me. My sweating fingertips felt around the handle of my knife. Part of me wanted to let the Walker eat me, but I was too stubborn to go down this easy anymore. I refused to be taken down by a Walker. I stared it in the face, daring it to come closer. It did, inching towards me and snapping its teeth in my direction.

It was close enough for me to reach out and touch it when its head exploded all over me. I didn't even flinch as the blood and rotting insides of the creature coated the front of me and the blood ran down my face from my hair. My eyes focused on who was behind the Walker that had killed it. I was shocked to see Rick, who had been so harsh to me earlier, had gone out of his way to save me, not that I needed saving. He held out a colt python in which were his means of killing the Walker. He had a crazed look in his eyes. His head tilted ever so slightly and I found myself looking away from him and for Daryl to save me from his mad friend. However, the archer was nowhere to be seen in the midst of chaos.

"Rick!" Glenn yelled from on top of a truck just before he jumped down to the other side of the wall.

Rick turned his attention away from me for only a second so he could respond to them. Soon enough he was glower at me again. The look he gave me told me this was not someone I wanted to mess with. His crazed eyes were message enough that he would do anything to protect the ones he loved. I understood that. There was a time when I had the same look and feelings as he did. That was a long time ago, back when I still had people to care for and vice versa.

"We have to go. You're coming with us."

Everything about him made me want to run, but I found myself nodding at him. He said before he would need me if I could tell him all I knew about Woodbury. If I could help take Woodbury down I would, even if it meant working with a fucking maniac.

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cromulentbookreview · 5 years

Text

Orange Whip!

Who wants an Orange Whip?

Orange Whip?

Three Orange Whips!

The world misses you, John Candy.

And by that, I mean: The Priory of the Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon!

A world divided.

A queendom without an heir.

An ancient enemy awakens.

An orange with an impossibly soft rind.

Ok, so I added that last one. Only, the oranges in the world of The Priory of the Orange Tree seem to have these easy-to-chew-through rinds. Like, characters just take a bite right out of them, no problem. I mean, I can imagine doing that with a clementine, but with an orange? Like, an actual, gigantic and delicious navel orange? Not sure if I could do it. I mean, orange rind is not only tough, it’s really not that tasty. It’s all bitter and weird. You’ve got to candy orange peel before you eat it. Or, you know, just peel your orange and use the rind for zest like a regular person. Don’t get flavedo stuck in your teeth.

None of that really had anything to do with Samantha Shannon’s book. Sorry. I just really like oranges. And citrus fruit in general.

So, The Priory of the Orange Tree!

At well over 800 pages, the book is a figurative doorstop. And, if you’re in a pinch, a literal one, too.

I kid, I have an actual doorstop. Don’t use a book for a doorstop.

Anyway, if you’re not big into long reads, and you’re perfect novel is roughly 250-300 pages long, uh...you might have a hard time here. But if you’re willing to give it a go, there’s something oh-so-satisfying about a self-contained, one-volume fantasy epic. There’s a beginning, a middle, and an end. There’s no Game of Thrones-esque situation where you’re endlessly waiting for the next book which may or may not be over 1000 pages. The whole story is there, in one big volume, no waiting for sequels. I didn’t realize just how sequel-fatigued I’ve been until I sat down and made my way through this book. No mentally steeling myself for a cliffhanger followed by a two-year-wait. I haven’t felt this way about an epic fantasy novel since Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. Who knew you can have an entire world confined to one volume! Hurray!

As a slow reader, it took me forever to make it through Priory (uh...like three weeks...) but holy crap was it worth it. It’s difficult to describe the plot, because, well, 800+ pages, four main POV characters spread throughout the world...the plot goes tons of different directions before coming together in the end. But the novel takes place in a world inspired by medieval Europe, Asia and Africa. Shannon’s East, like Japan until the 1850s when Commodore Perry waltzed in, guns blazing, is closed off to the nations of the West, mainly out of fear of the draconic plague, aka the “red sickness.” Foreigners are not welcome in the East and that’s the way it’s been for a good long while, to the point where there’s a huge gap in the understanding of Western dragons (similar to Western European portrayals of dragons, i.e. winged firebreathing murderous hellbeasts) and the dragons of the East (wingless, more serpent-like, think Haku from Spirited Away).

In the East, dragons are revered and considered gods. In the West, well, winged murderous firebreathing hellbeasts. The worst of these firebreathing hellbeasts is a massive dragon known as the Nameless One, who wreaked havoc a thousand years ago, before being wounded and left dormant under the sea. The way in which the Nameless One was bound up in the Abyss is the basis for an entire religion in the Western nation of Inys, and the backbone of the monarchy - Queen Sabran IX of Inys is said to be the direct descendant of the knight who defeated and bound the Nameless One, and so long as Sabran produces a daughter, Inys will be protected from the Nameless One. So Sabran needs to get married and have a kid, like, immediately.

Sounds great, but what do you do when it starts looking like that might not be true? What if Sabran’s existence has nothing to do with the return of the Nameless One? How do you keep the Nameless One at bay then?

That’s the main plot of Priory of the Orange Tree put very, very briefly. The story is told from four different perspectives, so...let’s meet our POV characters!

Tané: a young orphan from Seiiki who has spent her life training in hopes of becoming a dragon rider in the High Sea Guard. It is her actions that spark the events of the rest of the book.

Niclays Roos: an alchemist in exile in the East. He was banished from the West by Queen Sabran IX after failing to produce an elixir of life. He now lives in the teeny tiny Western trading post of Orisima in Seiiki.

Eadaz du Zala uq-Nara aka Ead Duryan: A Southern mage and initiate of the Priory of the Orange Tree currently embedded in the court of Queen Sabran IX, posing as a lady-in-waiting. Her mission is to protect Sabran, but she must keep her true identity hidden, as magic is super-duper forbidden in Inys.

Arteloth “Loth” Beck: A close friend of Queen Sabran IX and a member of Inys’s (Inys’?) nobility. He and his best friend Kit are forcibly exiled from court after Loth’s closeness to Sabran is viewed as an impediment to her marriage prospects.

The novel itself begins with Tané, hanging out on a beach in the East when, gasp! A foreigner shows up. By all rights, Tané should just kill him and be done with it, but, fearing that a dead foreigner might put a damper on her chances at being a dragon rider, what with all the questions and plague checks she’d have to go through, she decides to hide the foreigner instead. She recruits a friend to smuggle the foreigner over to Orisima, the only Western trading post in the East, to the home of one Niclays Roos, an embittered doctor/alchemist who once worked for Sabran. The foreigner, a kid from Inys called Triam Sulyard, has some crazy notions: East and West should unite because the Nameless One is coming back, whether or not Queen Sabran has a kid. Niclays, of course, is far more concerned with being caught with an unauthorized foreigner in his house.

Meanwhile, over in Inys, Ead Duryan witnesses first hand the pressure Queen Sabran is under from all sides to get married and pump out a daughter ASAP because she’s, gasp, 28 and still hasn’t had that kid yet. Ead is in a precarious position at Court as she’s a foreigner and a (supposed) convert to Inys’s religion, which worships the knight who bound the Nameless One. And she’s secretly a mage and Inys is super backward about that sort of thing. Ead just wants to stick to her mission - protect Sabran - and then hightail it back to the Priory of the Orange Tree. Only some chance encounters with Sabran herself lead to Ead being promoted into the Queen’s household, and next thing she knows, she and Sabran are forming a connection that’s causing Ead to question her loyalty to the Priory.

Meanwhile, Sabran’s childhood friend, Loth, has been banished because men and women can’t be friends without people starting to imply things. Loth and Sabran’s relationship is 100% platonic, but no one cares, least of all the Queen’s spymaster, who rounds Loth up in the middle of the night and ships him off to the nation of Yscalin, which has, very recently, turned to the dark side and began worshiping the Nameless One. It’s one of those “diplomatic missions” that is almost guaranteed to end in death.

And while all this is happening, both Tané and Niclays experience the blow back of letting a foreigner into the closed East.

Also, I should mention: yeah, the Nameless One is totally starting to wake up again. In fact, his buddies are starting to go around and wreak havoc. Better have that kid quick, Sabran!

So that is the basic plot of The Priory of the Orange Tree, in a nutshell. I really, really, really do not do it justice, but to do the plot some actual justice takes an 800 page novel. Priory is nothing less than epic. In one book, Shannon manages to create an entire world, complete with over a thousand years of history, various conflicting religions, generations upon generations of royalty, dozens of nations, and a sea full of pirates. Pirates! There is pirate action in this book! Are you not convinced? I mean, there’s dragons - and not just one sort of dragon, either. Also, did I mention the whole book has a very, very strong feminist bent to it? How much more convincing do you need? If you like dragons, if you like epics, if you can make it through 800 pages, then you need to read Priory of the Orange Tree.

Funny thing is, I was over 700 pages into the book when I realized that I’d mixed up East and West. See, right-left confusion is something that legit happens to people and definitely doesn’t mean that they’re dumb or anything - it happens more often in the left-handed and women, both of which I happen to be. I’m really good at reading maps, but when it comes to actually being in place and telling one direction from the other...uh...it doesn’t often end well. I’ve had people tell me to turn left and, without thinking, I turned right, thinking that I was definitely turning left. Yeah, it’s a thing. So, throughout Priory, which is divided into chapters characterized by East, West and South, South I was able to get pretty easily. South is easy. But I was roughly 80% into this book when I realized that I’d inverted the whole map of the book’s world - I’d pegged Inys in the East, and Seikii in the West. The whole time I was envisioning people heading East, I actually had them heading West. Derp. Derp. Derp.

It also doesn’t help that advanced copies don’t come with finished artwork, so I’ll have to wait til the book is actually out to see if there’s an actual map of the world of Priory. Having a map makes things much easier. I can refer back to a map to confirm which direction is which.

Fun fact: most of the time I can really only tell East from West based on whether or not I can see Mt. Hood. For me, it’s always been Mt. Hood = East, the Coast = West. One of the perks to living on the West Coast. I’ve had a hell of a time establishing East from West (and North from South) when I’ve traveled to places that don’t have a Mt. Hood to keep myself anchored, direction-wise. Sometimes I just had to pick a place and determine the directions.

How is it that Samantha Shannon is a year younger than me and has already written a series and an 800+ page fantasy epic? Meanwhile, I’m a year older than her, have finished no story I’ve actually started and have generally failed at everything I’ve ever attempted. Well, I did make some pretty good overnight oats. But it’s really hard to fail at making anything that contains both Nutella and peanut butter.

Bah, I says. Bah.

I need an Orange Whip.

Mmm...I should go get myself an orange.

Anyhoo! Priory of the Orange Tree. It’s good. You should read it.

RECOMMENDED FOR: Fans of one-volume feminist epic fantasies featuring more than one type of dragon. Also, there’s pirates!

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR: Anyone with no time or attention span. Or who dislike feminist fantasy for some reason.

RATING: 4.5/5 (half a point off for being 800 pages, also for some George R.R. Martin-esque descriptions of food which were not the best thing to read while recovering from a severe bout of food poisoning).

RELEASE DATE: February 26, 2019

DRAGON RATING:

#the priory of the orange tree #samantha shannon #dragons #here be dragons #fantasy #feminist fantasy #book review #2019 books #recommended books #oranges

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ibelieveinahappilyeverafter · 6 years

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Phanniemay 2018 - Day 3

Yes, yes, I know Phanniemay is over, but I wanted to at least post the prompts I did get through. I had this grand plan to finish and post them all the last week of May, but then things got crazy, I needed major eye surgery, and I’m only just now being able to stare at my screen long enough to be able to proofread and edit my things. It’s been a long few days, y’all. Still, I hope you enjoy what I do have!

Prompt: Ghost Tech

Alternate Universe: Post show, no Phantom Planet, Trio age ~17

Rating: G+

Author Notes: It’s so fun playing with Tucker’s point of view, honestly. I love it.

Summary: Tucker knows that he isn’t the best and brightest out there, but he’s starting to understand just how big a gap there is between where he is and where he needs to be. There’s only one person that can help him, but man, it couldn’t be anyone else?

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Click here to see the other stories I’ve done for Phanniemay this month.

“Yes, Danny, those are all the notes you need for the final tomorrow. I told you, I recorded the lectures, too. Although you probably won’t listen to them.”

“No one ever listens to the recorded lectures!” Letting Danny’s complaints wash over him, Tucker sighed softly and managed a bit of a smile. He’d take a complaining Danny over an unmoving one any day. “I miss three days of school and suddenly they think I’m going to go from C’s and B’s to A’s.”

“I think Lancer just wants you to pass, if it helps. He gave me about twenty sheets of notes to give to you when I told him I was collecting your homework.” Three days. Three days of Danny holed up at home and his parents just as unsure as them because they weren’t- They were scientists and Tucker and Sam were kids. None of them were doctors. “How are you doing?”

“Same as when you asked ten minutes ago, buddy. I’m fine, honestly. I think the last of it is finally clearing up.” The Fentons had figured it was some ghost version of the flu virus, but Tucker was going to bet it was something else considering how Danny had been throwing up ectoplasm at some points and he was burning up- He had ice powers and his fever had been out of control. “Where are you, anyways? The wind is going crazy on your end.”

“Just walking to that parts store to fix up the thermos again,” Tucker lied easily, trying to push the memories away. He never wanted to think on that time again - him, Danny, and Sam all curled up in a freezing cold shower, Danny shaking to pieces between them and sobbing roughly. “I wanted to fiddle with my PDA a bit more, too. Sam’s coming by later-”

“Ugh, yes, she’ll be here in half an hour.” Even through the groaning, Tucker could tell Danny was grinning. “And you need to chill out on all that tech stuff. It wasn’t your fault and you know it.”

“Sam should have her own notes if mine aren’t making sense. I’ll call you after I’m done, okay?” Not his fault. Yeah, right. He was supposed to be- When his tech failed, then what good was he?

“Yeah, okay. And that ghost getting out wasn’t your fault, Tuck. Me getting sick wasn’t your fault, either. Honestly, and you two call me hero-complexed.”

“Later, buddy,” Tucker laughed, hanging up the phone and letting his smile dropped as he stopped in front of the gates that blocked the path up to a ridiculously huge mansion. “Right. Now or never then, huh?”

Swallowing down his fear, which was pretty damn great, Tucker pressed the call button and nervously cleared his throat when he was asked to identify himself. “Uh, hi, Mr. Masters Plasmius sir? I, um- You probably don’t know me, but I’m a friend of Danny’s. Tucker Foley?”

There was a sharp, loud buzz before the gates opened rather dramatically, Tucker staring before making a face. “I had hoped we could just exchange phone numbers or something.” The gates started to close and Tucker swore before quickly running through them, near losing his shirt in the process. “Okay! Thank you! For, uh, seeing me, I guess?”

Nothing was coming up out of the ground and shooting at him, at least, and Plasmius wasn’t appearing to break his and Danny’s new truce and kidnap Tucker and use him as a bargaining chip, so that was good! That- That was very good.

Getting to the front door after a walk up a drive that was long enough to make Tucker regret every single choice in his life, he swallowed all of his fear and pride and gave a light, quiet knock. The door opened near at once.

“Ah, Mr. Foley. To what do I owe the pleasure of conversing with one of Daniel’s idiosyncratic acquaintances?” Okay, Tucker understood all of those words separately. Maybe.

“Hey, Mr. Masters Plasmius sir.” Being polite never hurt, right? At least Tucker wasn’t calling him Fruitloop. Danny would have found it great, but Danny wasn’t here to protect him from being killed. “I, uh, I had a question I kind of wanted to ask you?”

“How unfortunate for you that I seem to be all out of answers. Do make sure the gates shut on your way out.” Seeing the door start to close, Tucker took a page from Danny’s book and impulsively jumped forward to slip inside before it fully shut, flashing Plasmius a weak grin. “Would you rather the police escort you out?”

“Please, we both know I have at least three things on me that could revert you back to your ghost form.” Okay, Tucker, just breathe in and out and don’t think about the fact that he was threatening Plasmius.

“Daniel and his friends,” Plasmius muttered dryly, door shutting with a snap. “Speak quickly. I might be in a truce with Daniel, but that does not meant I am here to play mentor to his little friends.”

“Right.” Tucker was starting to see what Danny meant about punching Plasmius when spending longer than ten seconds around him. “I want to ask if you would teach me more about building and using ghost hunting technology.”

“Excuse me.” Yeah, wow, no, that was not a good look Tucker was getting right then. Okay. Right. Deep breath. Doing this for Danny. Danny who would do the same thing if their situations were reversed - and probably more. Ugh. Okay. Right.

“Please teach me more about building and using ghost weapons. Everything you’d be willing to teach me.” Yeah, wow, no, the look got worse. “This isn’t a joke or a ploy to get more information, I swear. It’s just- I need to know.”

“And just why, Mr. Foley, do you need to know these things? As far as I was aware you do not have any ghost powers to worry about. Your family is not in the business of hunting or detaining ghosts. You have no part in this world-”

“Fuck you.” The words slipped out before he could stop them, Tucker horrified when Plasmius’ eyes flashed red.

“Excuse me.” Okay, right, here was where he begged for forgiveness.

“I said fuck. You.” Except he had been spending too much time around his outspoken friends and this was… He couldn’t back down from this. “You can’t say this isn’t my world when I haven’t been out there every night since I was fourteen helping my best friend defend the town from monsters.”

“If you truly think ghosts are monsters-” Tucker didn’t even let him finish, just talking louder and bolder.

“They are when they attack my town and everyone in it just for fun! I was pulled into this fight and maybe I didn’t have to join it, but I sure as hell can’t leave it. I need to learn more about this technology and how to use it. I can’t just stand by and pretend this is all some game or afterschool activity when my friend could die any day!”

“He’s already dead.” It felt like the air had been sucked out of the room and it took everything Tucker had to not shake himself to pieces. “Whatever life Daniel had ended the moment he stepped through that portal. He may not be completely dead, but who he was certainly died.”

“Bullshit.” The red eyes weren’t so scary anymore. Not when he remembered what had just almost happened because he - because Tucker - wasn’t good enough. “And if it is true, then my life ended with his and I’m just as big a part of this as he is.”

“Are you really?” Drawing himself up, Tucker nodded as strong as he could. He wasn’t scared. Not when he knew that this might be the only way to get stronger.

“I can’t fight. I can’t do what Danny does, but I will run myself to the ground helping him as best I can. Danny’s not just my best friend. He’s- He’s my brother. We’ve been by each other’s sides since we were five. I’m not leaving him now. I can’t fight, but I can do other things. I’m good with tech, but I’m not good enough. I need to get better.”

“So you come to me. Why not go to Daniel’s parents? They have the technology as well - in fact, I rather believe that’s where you’ve been getting your own equipment these days.”

“Used to. I build everything myself now.” If Tucker was any crazier, then he might have admitted that he saw pride in Plasmius’ eyes. “I need to get better. Danny’s strong, but there are stronger things out there. You wouldn’t have made a truce with him if there wasn’t.”

“Mm.” Plasmius stared at him for a second more before turning and walking away, Tucker feeling every ounce of hope jerked out of him. “You could have merely studied their blueprints.”

“I did. I need to get better and you know how ghosts work. They don’t, yet.” Tucker watched Plasmius not even stop as he glanced back to him.

“Well? I’ll only waste so much of my time with this venture, Mr. Foley.” Wait- That was- Oh, holy shit.

“Yes sir, Mr. Masters Plasmius sir.” Tucker was running after him at once and while he still had the feeling he was about to be stabbed in the back, he at least knew he would learn something while he was there. Maybe this was what interns felt like for supervillains. Hm. That actually seemed rather accurate. “I can handle whatever you throw at me.”

“We’ll see.” Yes, he would.

#danny phantom #phanniemay18 #pm18d3 #tucker #tucker foley #everafterphanniemay18

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bibiko0838 · 7 years

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BARELY LEGAL (Chapter 10)

(KRIS’s POV)

Years ago, I wanted to spread my wings so I went to school in a different country. Away from my controlling father. Away from my overprotective and neurotic mother. I came later in their lives, way after they had given up on each other, and divorce was a paperwork and division of assets they never wanted to deal with. My father wanted to mold me in his image. I just wanted to be free from unhappiness that envelopes that house.

But I am my father’s son. The corporations we own and the people who depend on us for their jobs and livelihood mean a lot to my family. I will be the fifth generation owner of our business. Without meaning to, I found myself interested in the tiny nuances that make the business tick. A rather hostile attempt at a take over when I was fifteen made me interested in corporate law.

Xiumin was a classmate throughout our university years and until law school. We had known each other and were friendly. I like teasing him. We are roughly the same age but whereas I am an extrovert, he was the opposite. I loved talking to people, getting to know them and finding what makes them tick. Xiumin is the type to quietly observe and sit in one corner of the room brooding.

I like to be involved in group studies and hang out in coffee shops with strong wi-if signals. Xiumin disappears into the library. Or somewhere. On our final year in law school we somehow ended up as partners for a project. I followed him to his hang out because I was willing to break away from the monotony of school.

Eun Ji smiled at me shyly the first time we met. Then spilled coffee all over me. I didn’t even mind. I fell in love with her that instant. I flirted with her shamelessly and pursued her relentlessly. The first time I kissed her, I thought I saw stars. How can one tiny slip of a girl set my heart racing?

We were sitting on the warm sand on the beach, looking at the colorful sunset, she was leaning back on my chest when it finally dawned on me that I want this feeling of happiness to last forever. She made me smile again. Not the fake boisterous laughter I show the world to hide my loneliness. Not the practiced smile I give to my family’s business associates. Not the smile I give to my so called friends. But a real smile that shows the light she put in my heart. Seeing her smile, making her happy, these are the reasons I finally understood that happiness comes from within. Happiness comes from loving someone greater than you love yourself.

It was then that I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with Eun Ji. I want to marry her. However, she had only recently graduated and had already told me wants to work before settling down to married life. I would never be a hindrance to her dreams. So I quietly went around looking for a place where she can start working.

By chance, Jongdae mentioned that they needed a personal assistant with a paralegal or law background since work was starting to pile up. Xiumin was becoming well known in his field and is amassing a lot of work for their practice. Jongdae was not too far behind in his success and their fledgling practice is quickly making a name for itself.

“Hey Chen!” I need to stop blurting things out so and try to look cool.

“Wae? I’m busy.” Chen replied distractedly to me.

“Are you done hiring for that Personal Assistant job you were talking about last week?” I hope I sounded nonchalant. Eun Ji is perfect for this job but she has no work experience or personal connections in this industry save for me.

“Oh man! Do I wish! Xiumin and I are both too swamped to even post the job. And frankly I need help right now.” I can heard Chen sighing in frustration while papers were crumpling and shuffling on the background.

“Hey, my girlfriend is looking for a job. She just graduated last month. Background in paralegal too. Could you take her in for an interview?” Smooth Kris. Smooth.

“Yeah sure! But if you are just displacing one of your ex on us I swear I will kill you.” Jongdae cursed as he dropped yet another file.

“Nope. Xiumin actually probably knows her. She used to work in that diner Xiumin frequents when we were all still in school.” I was so giddy in my relief that I didn’t notice the sudden silence on the other end.

“You mean Eun Ji?” Chen asked tentatively.

“Yeah! You know my girlfriend too?” I was relieved to know that they both know her so she will not be too uncomfortable with the people she will work with.

“Not really, but she came up once or twice when Xiumin and I are drinking after work.” Like every time Xiumin-buddy is too drunk to control his thoughts and kept talking about “the one that got away”. It was obvious to Chen that Xiumin was in love with the girl long before Kris came into the picture.

“Great! Should I tell her to come in for an interview?” I was rushing I know, but I need to make sure before Chen and Xiumin hires somebody else.

“Sure. Xiumin is in court all day today so it’s probably best to have her come in tomorrow morning.” Jongdae replied and cut off the call quickly saying he’s got a client on the other line.

I called Eun Ji and gave her the good news. I thought I was doing something good. I didn’t realize that I started the ball rolling for Eun Ji and Xiumin to end up together. I want to hit them back with all the pain I felt at their betrayal. But to what end? She’s never going to love me the way she obviously loves him. As painful as this is for me. I have to let her go. I have to let my pain and anger go.

Because loving her means that I want her happiness. Even if her happiness lies in the arms of another man. Fuck! When did I start being the bigger man? With a deep sigh I dialed her phone.

“Eun Ji? I think we are overdue for a talk. Pick a time and place. I will be there.” I hope I sounded calm and neutral. My heart breaking once again shouldn’t be obvious this time. She picked a garden cafe halfway between my office and hers. I left to meet her an hour later.

“Kris.” Eun Ji nodded warily.

“Sit down. Shouldn’t pregnant women be sitting or something?” I was worried without meaning to. She looked pale and tense.

“I’m okay. What do you want from me?” She spoke softly. She always speaks like a soft breeze caressing you in the night. I miss that.

“Closure. Forgiveness. Love?” I smiled bittersweet. I threw the last one in just for the heck of it.

“Kris....” she hesitated and took a few minutes to continue. “I am sorry things turned out this way. I didn’t mean to betray you. I honestly thought I would be with you forever. I guess I could lie to everyone including myself but my heart just couldn’t keep the lie. I love Xiumin. Then. Now. Always. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Forgive us. I would like atonement for my mistakes, but I don’t know how.”

“Eun Ji,I’m sorry too for being such a jerk when I came back. It’s hard for me to accept that you and I are over. I loved you so much you know that right?” I held her hand and squeezed it lightly.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

I see her crying once again. Why is it that all I managed to do lately is make the woman I love cry all the time?

“I forgive you. Now stop crying or Xiumin will punch me again and frankly it is hard to explain a bruise on your face in court.” I gathered her in my arms one last time and kissed the top of her head like I used to do. She gave me a watery smile and a hiccup. I felt my eyes burning with unshed tears.

“Hey Xiumin. You can come out now. I think it’s your turn to say sorry.” My voice was thick with tears. I let Eun Ji go and felt the emptiness immediately. It’s taking all of my self control not to yank her back into my arms.

“Kris” my friend, Xiumin stood in front of me looking at me straight in the eye, sincere contrition bleeding from every pore in his body. I expected him to give me a formal bow. I didn’t expect him to kneel at my feet.

“I am very sorry for betraying your trust.” The tears I held at bay finally started rolling down my cheeks. It was warm, salty and cleansing.

“Get up.” I pulled him up to stand again. I looked at him eye to eye wondering what am I supposed to say to the man who stole the woman I love and betrayed my trust.

“Idiot!” I muttered before I hugged him. I felt his shoulders shaking as sobs racked his smaller frame.

“I forgive you too. But it’s not going to be easy to forget so pardon me if I prefer not to stay around the two of you for a while. But do me a favor. Don’t ever betray her. I don’t want her to go through the pain I felt.” I pushed him back to Eun Ji and I nodded at her. As quickly as I can, I left and went to my place to start packing.

There’s nothing left here for me. I have to find my own happiness now.

#exo #exo fanfic #exo romance #exo angst #exo xiumin #exo kris #exo kim minseok #kim minseok #goodbye my love

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lubdubsworld · 7 years

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The unfaithful Wife

Chapter 4

Jiminstayed perfectly still while the car pulled up in front of the daycare and I bit my lips, trying to think of a way to make this work without upsetting Jin Soo. Jimin looked stubborn and angry and somehow, I was being pushed into becoming the guilty party. I didn't know why it hurt so much. But for now, I had to think about Jin Soo.

"It would help if I had just a minute with him.." I tried again and Jimin gave me an impatient look.

"I'm not going to barge in and demand attention and love from him. I know kids need time. I'm not a complete idiot, so don't talk to me like that." He snapped.

I sighed and nodded. He got out of the car and came around to hold the door open for me . When we went in, Jin Soo was the only kid there and Jimin's eyes softened naturally.

"Hey buddy..." He said softly.

"Hi uncle." Jin Soo said brightly, remembering him from yesterday.

Jimin stiffened again. But then he smiled.

"Jin Soo... Do you like toys? Trucks? Guns?" He smiled. Jin Soo's eyes went wide.

"Yes." He breathed, stunned to hear his favorite things in one sentence.

Jimin turned and gave his chauffeur a quick nod who promptly went out.

"Would you like to have a ... Daddy?" He smiled, before sinking down to his knees till he was almost eye level with Jin Soo.

I fidgeted, nervous.

"My Daddy lives in a castle and someday he'll come to meet me." Jin Soo said promptly with a proud smile.

Jimin's breath hitched. He turned to look at me and I looked away. Suddenly his fingers reached out and gently touched mine. I pulled away, scalded. And then realized that he was probably playacting for Jin Soo's benefit.

"I expected that you would have told him he didn't have a father or something.." He whispered, face oddly blank. I stared at him, suddenly feeling very lonely. And hurt.

"Of course not. I wouldn't have kept him hidden forever. I would have told you... someday." I said, realizing as I said it , that it was true.

"Well, I'm from a castle. And i want to be your daddy.... Can I?" He said, turning to Jin Soo like he hadn't heard my response. Jin Soo looked alarmed, looking at me for reassurance. I'd never felt so torn in my entire life.

"It's... alright... He'll be a nice daddy.." I choked out.

There it was done.

Now no one could undo it.

I felt like i was sinking into a quagmire of regrets already.

Suddenly the chauffeur reappeared, carrying what looked an entire shopping mall worth of wrapped gifts. Jin Soo's eyes went even wider if that was possible.

"I know Daddy hasn't been there for a long time, so i thought I'd make up for it. " He said, reaching out and ruffling Jin Soo's hair before gathering him into his arms. My breath caught in my throat. Resentment rose like a living thing, choking off my airway.

"You can't buy his affection..." I hissed before I could stop myself.

"You have a five year headstart... I deserve this much..." He snapped back.

And it was working, i thought in disbelief watching the way jin Soo's face lit up with excitement as he saw all the packages.

"We can't do this here though. Would you like to come to Daddy's castle?" Jimin said with a bright smile. I felt my breath catch at the sight of it. He still had the most beautiful smile on the planet , I thought miserably. I was doomed. I then kicked myself mentally. Granted it had been five years, but had I forgotten everything he had put me through?? He had wrecked my life.

Feeling a bit more stable, I watched Jimin as he carried Jin Soo out of the daycare while I followed limply, already feeling like the third wheel. Jin Soo was mine, I thought despondently. I'd raised him all by myself. Carried him myself, through a nightmare pregnancy that had nearly killed me. I didn't want to share his love with anyone. Least of all the man who had thrown me away without a second thought. I stared at jimin and tried to understand what was going through his head and failed. It was obvious he wanted to be with his son, seemed to actually care for him but ... he could have another one. With a woman he loved.

I climbed into the car behind him, watched him as he spoke easily with his son, now together, they looked breathtakingly alike and similar. The same lovely wide smile, enough to make anyone's heart skip a beat and half-moon eyes that sparkled. Jin Soo looked like he belonged with Jimin. Like he'd always belonged with him and i could feel panic build up inside me. I felt like the intruder all of a sudden. Like i was the pnly thing wrong with the picture perfect happiness .

When the car pulled up to the huge Park Mansion, smack-dab in the middle of Seoul. I felt something very much like nausea creep up my thorat. i had the best and the worst memories of my life here and i'd never once thought I'd be coming back.

Suddenly, Jimin reached out and took my hand in his.

"I've got a different home now. We won't be living here." He said, as though he could read my mind.

I nodded numbly.

Living.

We were going to be living together.

It made no sense.

He hated me. I was supposed to hate him and well, really the entire thing was supposed to be over before it ever began.

"I don't think..." He gave me a look of warning, nodding at Jin Soo and I swallowed my own words. I couldn't talk in front of my perceptive son.

The car drove past the huge Manor and then further into the estate, past rolling meadow, artificial woods and lakes with fauna and flora to rival the world's best . After nearly twenty minutes , we pulled up in front of a modest two-story house, set at the end of the lane.

"You'll have drivers on call at all times. There will be staff to take care of jin Soo and you can drive to your bakery from here." He said briskly, carrying Jin Soo out and directing the chauffeur to bring all the packages in. I hesitated, still feeling like I'd stepped into some sort of an alternate reality. I watched him move and then slowly followed, legs feeling like lead in my shoes.

When I stepped in, the last person I expected to see was Jimin's sister, Jin Hee. I stopped short, heat flooding my face as she stared at me, a mixture of awkward sympathy and concern on her face.

"Min Hee... It's nice to see you.." She said hesitantly and I felt like death. The last time I'd seen her, I'd been branded a prostitute by her mother and kicked out of the house. Bile rose in my throat and humiliation threatened to choke me. Resentment for my husband came in waves. Why on earth was he doing this to me??..

"Please.. don't look so stricken. What's in the past is in the past.... I'd love for us to move on. We were friends back then, weren't we?" She said desperately and I tried not to pull away as she wrapped me in a hug, her arms easily going around me.

"You've become so thin.. Min Hee.." She said disapprovingly and I couldn't trust myself to speak. Suddenly the sound of pattering feet made me lookup and I found myself staring at adorable twin boys, maybe a bit smaller than Jin Soo. Jin Soo too was looking at the newcomers with great interest.

"They're my children. Their father.... well, he isn't in the picture anymore. i stay here with Jimin, i hope you don't mind." She said nervously and I shook my head.

"Of course not.. I.. I won't be here for long anyway..." I stopped when Jimin shot me a glare that could kill.

"She means that we may be going on a honey moon for a few weeks at least. Start fresh." He said loudly.

I tried not to clench my teeth. Honeymoon? Over my dead body...

"That's a wonderful idea. I think you guys .. I mean I've always thought you're meant to be together and well, everyone makes mistakes. What's important is that you love each other and your son, enough to want to move on."

Jin Hee made both of us sound like saints.

I wanted to burst into tears and tell her the truth. That her precious brother had blackmailed me into this.

"We do. By the way, did the designer come?" Jimin asked, standing up and shrugging out of his jacket. I felt my eyes widen as I took in the increased breadth and width of his shoulders and chest, the soft fabric stretching taut against his muscled frame. i didn't have to touch him to know he was probably hard as a rock in all the right places. Even now, he looked every inch the rich, sophisticated CEO that he was. I felt shabbier than ever considering my own stick thin figure and lank hair.

"Yes. He's left a lot of dresses in the fitting room. Min Hee can try them on..." She smiled brightly.

I frowned.

Try them on?

"I'll take the kids to the play room.." She said brightly and Jin Soo waved cheerfully before rushing away with his new friends, Min Ho and Ji Hoo.

I waited till she was out of earshot before turning to Jimin.

"I don't want you to buy me clothes.." I said automatically and he rolled his eyes.

"They're just some cocktail gown for when we go out in public. "

Public?

"I'm not going to be your trophy wife.." I said angrily .

" If I wanted a trophy wife, I could damn well do better... " He snapped.

I recoiled in disbelief. His sharp tongue had hurt me often during our marriage. Clearly he hadn't changed.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't even mean it.. fuck.. you're beautiful and you don't need me to tell you that anyway." He ran an impatient hand through his hair. " What i meant was that, once we get married some public appearances are mandatory. You'll need nice clothes. I'll try to keep you as far from the public eye as possible but ... sometimes it may be impossible to avoid." He said.

i looked away, tired. I hadn't slept in a long time and the days exhaustion was slowly beginning to creep in. My eyes fell on the unwrapped packages of toys on the floor and i bit my lips.

"you're right. You can give him a lot more than I ever can.." I said quietly, staring at the expensive toys which probably cost more than what I'd make in a year.

Jimin made a noise of impatience and stepped closer, grabbing my shoulders suddenly and forcing me to look up at him.

"I didn't mean it that way... " He said roughly, giving me a little shake.

"I can't compete if you throw your money around.." I said softly.

"It's not a competition... I.. i mean if you look that way, he loves you way more than he would ever love me. i cannot compete with the bond you have with him.. But it isn't a competition... Minnie.. I meant what I said. I want to move on from this and trust me it's difficult for me too. But I just.. it's not about whether we can give him more love or more money ...i just want him to have both. His parents love, a comfortable life and a complete family. He deserves it, don't you think?" He said softly , fingers gently massaging my shoulders. The touch was oddly familiar , soothing and normal. While my mind hadn't agreed my bodily was already getting used to being touched, i thought miserably.

"I didn't sleep with Tae Min." I said without thinking.

Jimin stiffened, hands falling off my shoulders.

"Minnie... "

"I swear I didn't.. I never cheated on you..."

"Enough." His voice was low. Furious. " Don't ever mention his name again. Like I said, I'll forget it, for our son's sake. I won't bring it up ever again. Only if you promise not to either. We can't move on if you keep clinging to that ridiculous story... " He snapped.

I sighed in defeat.

"Minnie... listen to me. This doesn't have to be bad. We can make this work. I swear.. I'm.. I'm sorry about the way I handled things back then. I was upset. I was...hurt. I was young and immature. i should have.. i should have been there for you. I looked for you... For a long time.. But i didn't know you changed your surname. "

"I had to ... to get away from the reporters..." I mumbled.

"I didn't know you were pregnant. didn't even consider it. If I had.. God. .. I swear to God I wouldn't have left you alone. But.. But what's done is done. I can't undo it. Neither can you. So we'll just have to agree to put it all behind us. Start something new, together, We don't have to fall in love again but we can respect each other and like each other enough to do the right thing for our son... can't we?" Jimin appealed.

"Okay." I said finally. Too tired to say anything else. There was just too much baggage between us, for it to ever truly work, i thought miserably. But he was right.

It wasn't really about us was it?

Jin Soo would grow up someday and it would be better if he had a complete family. And it's ridiculous how much a mother can be willing to give up for her son. I felt tears sting. I'd been through hell and back, nearly died , giving birth to him.

I'd go through it all over again if it meant giving him the life he deserved.

Even if it meant staying with a husband who believed the worst of me.

"It's getting late. I should be going home." I said nervously glancing at the darkening sky.

"About that. Would you like to stay here the night? We have a press conference in the morning and.."

"No.." I said panicking.

Jimin rolled his eyes.

"There's a guest bedroom .. I'm not going to force myself on you..." He said impatiently.

I stared at him.

"I have to open the bakery at seven." I said softly. He shrugged.

"I'll drive you down there. You look like you're going to collapse any second. Jin Soo's already asleep with his cousins.."

cousins. '

Family. My son had a family now. The one thing that I'd always felt so incapable of giving him.

"Will you... wake me up at seven then?" I said nervously.

My phone was out of charge. usually my body clock was enough to wake me up but I couldn't rely on it when I was so tired and in a different place.

"I'd have to sleep with you then..." He said casually.

The air between us shifted and I felt my breath catch.

Silence.

"Would it be so bad? To sleep with me again?" He said gently and I looked at him in disbelief. He had changed into a grey shirt that hung loose around his collarbones and I noticed that he still had that little dip over his chest to the left of his shoulder, deep enough to hold water. I'd traced, my fingers, lips, and tongue over that cleft a million times.

"I think it would be the worst mistake of my life." I said , voice trembling.

He sighed.

"We were so good together. At least in the bedroom. I remember that." His voice was husky and I felt my thighs clench involuntarily. He noticed.

Suddenly he moved towards me, quickly, and he was close, so close, nearly touching as he reached out, wrapped one arm around my waist, around me but not touching me at all and I froze in shock. I couldn't throw his arm off because he wasn't touching me. Even though it felt like he was.

"You'll have to do it. Eventually When we marry. To make the marriage legal. " He hummed , bending low till his breath hit the side of my face. He still wasn't touching me but he was all around me. He was everywhere and the scent of clean male skin and shampoo , the sight of his wet hair so close was driving my inhibitions down, but simultaneously driving my terror up.

"Jimin... don't." I choked out.

"It will be hard. to live here together in the same house...under the same roof. Knowing how good we can be together. Knowing how fucking fantastic we can be together..." He said, voice husky and dripping with promise . i shut my eyes.

"Get away from me. Or I'm calling a cab and getting out of here. " I said voice surprisingly steady. He looked like he'd been slapped.

Silence.

"Fine. I'll back off tonight. But in two days we're getting married. And you're coming back into my life. And my bed. Even if i have you to drag you there. " He said angrily, Then he turned around and stalked off.

I swallowed.

It was better this way. I was better at dealing with angry Jimin , rather than the one who wanted to start fresh.

The one who reminded me too much of the man I'd fallen in love with once.

#bts park jimin #'bts fanfics #park jimin #drama #bts scenarios #bts imagine

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everythinginslowmotion · 7 years

Text

Fixing Blue

This is a second part to my story Seeing Red (found |x| for ao3 and |x| on my blog)

Healing must be one of the hardest things for the human race to endure through. Some are able to push through to the end easily, others struggle to make it all the way to the finish. And a handful, well, sometimes that healing process takes too much and pushes out the light before they even come close to the exit of the tunnel. Although everyone wishes that healing was an instant occurrence, it just isn’t and god knows if it ever will be. Even an ancient alien civilization far more advanced in technology than humanity wasn’t even able to perfect the seemingly impossible task.

For Lance, healing always seemed like it would be apart of his life. On his 5th birthday he had to heal for the first time after he fell off of the back of his sisters bike and fractured his arm, it took 4 weeks. The next time was 2 months after his arm was healed when he fell from the tree and twisted his ankle from landing wrong, that time is took only 8 days. The most recent major healing he had to endure before his departure to save the universe happened the week before being promoted to fighter class in the garrison. The day he found out Keith had been booted from the program started out being the best day of his life, but the moment he called home to tell his family he had a chance at moving up to what he came here to do, it turned sour. His abuelo died the next day, and Lance didn’t even get the chance to tell the person who believed in his dreams the most the news. That healing, will never be complete.

It only took a week for his arm to heal with the weird Altean cast on.

````````````````````

Moving was hard for him. It sounds stupid, but it's the truth.

Getting out of bed that first day ended up being too difficult a task after Keith’s “I need you” moment and Lance’s realization of how broken he had truly let himself become. So he didn’t proceed with the trying task and rather just stared up at the ceiling like he had done many a night, too drained to cry and too empty to feel or think anything else for the rest of the day. Night. Whatever it had ended up being before he finally closed his eyes and fell into a restless dozing. Hunk entered his room a couple of times after Keith left. The first time, he opened the door and brought in a bowl of the green slime they liked to call food.

“Hey buddy, you awake?” He whispered though he could clearly see that Lance’s eyes were in fact open. He made his way over to Lance’s bed and set the tray down on the floor next to the bed. “Oh no, shit Lance what happened?”

Lance didn’t respond.

Leave it to Hunk to recognize him in this state. Hunk had been the one to comfort Lance those difficult nights in their room at the garrison when he couldn’t sleep because of his loss. Hunk saw the mask fade away once Lance shut the door for the night and just sat there on the blue sheets of his bed telling him about all of the things he wishes he could have done and said but would never get to do. Hunk never tried to get Lance to sneak out like they had done before. He never pushed him to stay up late to play stupid games that Lance would come up with during the middle of a class when he finally stopped paying attention to what the teacher was trying to say. Hunk had complained about all of those things before, “Lance, come on we need to sleep”, “Lance we have a huge test tomorrow, neither of can afford to fail this one”, “Dude, Iverson is literally going to kill us if we get caught leaving our room this late”. But he never really meant them, and during those few days he wanted them to return more than anything else in his life, but he didn’t push. They would find their way back into his life after almost a week, not because Lance had gotten over what had happened, but because he realized that wasting his life was the exact opposite of what his abuelo wanted for his life, which is why we applied for the garrison in the first place, and slowly went back to living his life as he had been. But occasionally Lance would go back into those habits, and this was one of those times.

“You know I’m not gonna force you to tell me anything, but you know I’m here for you when you need me man. I’m always here”.

He didn’t want for Hunk to leave his room, but he also didn’t do anything to stop the exit. He just sat there in silence, listening to the sound of his own breathing and the harsh tone of his thoughts, wrestling around the inside of his mind.

Not much more happened that day. Pidge came in with Shiro to check on him, and she invited him to go watch her play their game that they had bought back at the space mall. She knew how much he loved to watch her play it, not in a creepy way though, when Pidge played it reminded him of when he would babysit and his younger brothers and sister would fight over the controllers and play the videogames on the small television in their little house. He didn’t take her up on her offer though, not today. Shiro just wanted to make sure his arm wasn’t hurting too bad, and honestly he had almost forgotten entirely about his arm if it hadn’t been for the restraint movement that he had when trying to bend it. Coran also came by to check on his arm and spent the first part asking questions but quickly realized that Lance was not in a chatting mode and switched it over to a story about when Allura had to wear one of these devices in her childhood. He was always good in that way, seeming to always pick up emotional cues and adjusting his ways to fit the needs. Sometimes he wondered if it was an Altean thing and then would remember that Allura never seemed to notice when he was feeling this way, but he really couldn’t blame her, she had much more important things to worry about and frankly probably didn’t care all that much on the kind of day Lance was having unless it directly affected team Voltron.

The last visit he got that day was another one from Hunk in which Lance spent the entire duration holding [and failing to] back tears as they sat on the floor leaning against his bed.

“Hunk, I fucked everything up. Why do I always fuck everything up.” There was a scratchiness to his voice that was unnatural and made him cringe with every syllable that left his lips. He sounded so broken and it just made him break a little more with every word.

“I talked with Keith earlier Lance, he feels horrible you know. You didn’t mess everything up.”

“Not with Keith. Well yes, with Keith. I fucking told him I loved him, Hunk! How is that not fucking it up? Not only that but I then proceed to punch a wall and break my hand. Who the hell punches walls? Fucking dumbasses, Hunk that’s who. Now Keith knows everything, and god knows everyone else probably does too, I don’t even know if I can pilot at the moment but I still promised Allura I would, and I’m just bits now Hunk. Ever since we got here I’ve been blaming everything on Keith but it was never his fault. This entire time I’ve been slowly unraveling and I was so sure it was his fault but it's not Hunk. It’s all me, I broke myself and I don’t know how to fucking fix it because all I ever am capable of is breaking”.

“Lance- that’s not…”

“Don’t tell me it’s not true Hunk! At this point I don’t even remember who I was before this, all I know is that I’m stuck here now and I just- I just need to go home”.

“I know, buddy. We all need to go home.”

`````````````

He came out of his room the next day.

Today was going to be the day Lance went back to being Lance. No one would look at him as a broken toy. No one would sit in a slightly uncomfortable silence around him in an effort to comfort. He wasn’t going to let them. Today was going to be normal.

The dark room around him slowly started to illuminate as the castle started powering on the lights for the day, starting a stinging sensation in his eyes that forced him to half squint in order to see. Without allowing time for regret, he achingly pulled back the covers exposing his uncasted arm to the cool air of the metal building. The floor sent chills up his legs as he grudgingly shuffled across the floor to grab his clothes from the closet like panel on the opposite side of the room. He really needed to ask Allura if they had any other clothes, because his blue and white baseball tee and jeans were starting to get a little too redundant to wear. His brothers jacket, however, that thing he would wear until the day he died.

The bathroom across the hallway was one that he and Keith shared since their rooms were right next to one another. Lance slowly made his way over to the door, knowing that Keith wouldn’t be using it at the moment. Keith always woke up unnecessarily early, like 2 vargas earlier than when the lights turned on. And luckily for Lance, that meant that he had also finished up in the bathroom way before Lance even was close to needing it, meaning that he could avoid at least one awkward encounter for now.

Lance tried to make everything like it had been before. Like it had been when they first arrived at the castle. When his efforts weren’t difficult and when he could look into the mirror and see hope and adventure rather than emptiness and disappointment. He tried. But no matter what he did, the water in the shower seemed just a little colder, the food goo mask seemed a little clumpier, and his face seemed a little more paler than it previously had seen. It seemed as though the color and comfort was draining away from the world; and it was taking him with it.

It took 3 tries for him to finally go to the kitchen. The first was after he left the bathroom. Once the door closed behind him, it closed up his lungs as well. He caught himself on the wall as the tried to breathe but wasn’t succeeding. Eventually he made it back to his room where he was able to calm down long enough breathe again. The second time was roughly 10 minutes later, after pacing around the room repeating “You can do this. Just fucking go McClain” and then proceeding to promptly open the door and then close it immediately after. The 3rd time was more or less what someone would call a success depending on who was being asked. As soon as the door closed, he reopened it and took a shaking step outside.

The lights in the hallway were spread further apart than the ones in his room making it appear slightly dimmer. It was also colder out here as the air ran through the hallways causing his nervous shaking to get slightly worse. He pulled his jacket around his tighter and took a step out. The walk down the hallway and towards the kitchen area never seemed as long as it had now. Every step hurt and felt like his legs were about to give out on him. His body and mind were weak from the last couple of days and he felt as if he could fall over and just lay there for hours until somebody came and found him, but he kept on going. Pushing through to a normal day.

“Well someone has to bring him food! Why can’t it be me?”

“Keith, you know why. We all already agreed…” Shiro’s voice traveled through the thin metal door leading into the dining area allowing Lance to hear it with ease.

Lance stood behind the entry way, breathing in one last breath before putting on a smile and pressing the button. Shiro paused with the woosh of the door and everyone's eyes were on Lance. The scene before him was not one that he was expecting. They were all sitting around the long table but not actually eating anything. In fact most of the food looked untouched. Keith was halfway between the table and the door with a bowl of food goo in his hand and with an exasperated looking Shiro standing next to his chair. Everyone was dead silent as Lance took a step through the door and for just a moment he thought his facade might fade away revealing his nervousness and uncertainty, but it didn’t. Rather, he took on his usual stride and made his way over to the table, keeping his arm near to him at all times.

“Well guys I know I’m strikingly handsome, but I didn’t think it was enough to leave a whole room speechless,” he managed to get out as he sat down. He heard Pidge and Allura sigh. He gave Allura a look and winked at her like he usually would after making a comment as such, and like clockwork she rolled her eyes back at him, but with that he noticed a small smile forming in the corners of her mouth.

“Well it’s good to see that you are feeling better, Lance”

“Of course Princess. I told you I would be fine, it takes a lot to knock me off of my feet.” Lance noticed that worried glance he got from Hunk after that statement but decided to ignore it. “Anyway, where did my food go?”

Everybody turned their heads back towards Keith. His face got a deep shade of red and he looked down. Lance saw Shiro sit back down out of the corner of his eye. Keith started shuffling his way back towards his seat next to Lance.

“Oh so now you’re trying to steal my food too? This rivalry is getting serious if we are messing with each others food now too”. He tried to control his voice, and it semi worked.

“I-uh, I was going to bring it to you… but I guess that isn’t necessary.” He eventually made it back over to his chair and set the food down in front of him. Despite Lance’s efforts to try and play off what had happened over the past couple of days, he could sense everyone was worried about the future relationship between the two paladins and what it meant for the future of Voltron. The tension in the room was becoming unbearable and the silence of the crowd wasn’t helping.

Lance tried to eat the goo as quickly as he could with his left hand, and though his efforts were snail like and the time dragged on for much longer than what seemed possible, he still managed to be the first person finished with their food.

“Well, if you guys would excuse me, I have some bonding to catch up on with Blue.”

“Don’t forget about the training later, Lance.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world Princess.”

He could finally breathe again as the door closed behind him.

----------------

“Hey there beautiful, did you miss me?” He asked while walking up to the ginormous metal paw that stood in front of him. In response, a purr like sound came from her as her head lowered allowing Lance to step inside the all too familiar area. The blue lights powered on around him and he closed his eyes allowing for him and Blue to become closer. Blue could read his thoughts, just as he could feel hers. He knew that she was worried about him and worried about him piloting with a broken arm and she knew that he was tired and scared for what was going to happen next. But they were able to take comfort in each other as always.

He doesn’t know how much time he had spent in the hangar with Blue but he didn’t care because it was the most relaxed he had felt in a long time. It wasn’t until he heard Allura’s voice coming over the castle coms telling him to report to the training deck that he finally opened his eyes.

Blue let him out and he took one final look at her before turning and running towards his room to change into the blue armour that he now called his.

He made his was towards the familiar area of the training deck but this time it was different. This time it wasn’t just memories of training or late night walks that would flood his mind upon entering the room. There would be the added image of Keiths face as he was screaming at him. Keith screaming at him back. His hand crumpling against the impact of the wall. All things he would rather not see. But he could do it. He did it for every other day before that and he can do it now. Maybe.

Hopefully.

The room didn’t suck the sound out when he entered this time. Allura and Coran were up in the control room and his fellow team members were gathered in a circle in the middle of the room talking amongst themselves. They probably wouldn’t have even noticed him if it weren’t for Alluras announcement.

“Oh good, you’re here. Okay paladins, since we can’t exactly do any team sparring exercises today we are going back to one of the easier team building exercises of the invisible maze.” Everyone collectively groaned at the memories of how painful the maze could be. “No complaining. We could all use a little team bonding and this is one of the easier ones. And, whichever team gets through the maze the fastest with the fewest mistakes gets to leave training early.”

“How is that promoting bonding, isn’t that just creating competition?”

“Precisely number four! You can’t have a team work well together if they can’t even have a safe and friendly competition every once in awhile.”

“And after the past few days, I believe we could all use a little fun.”

Lance already knew this wouldn’t be fun however. His bonding exercise partner was Keith and he had a feeling Allura and Shiro weren’t going to let him switch for today's competition. In fact, they were probably hoping that a competition would bring the two of them closer together. Lance didn’t blame them though, he understood that the events that unfolded in this very room only 2 nights before could have severe consequences and better try and stop them now before it hurts the team. Lance didn’t want to hurt the team anymore than he had.

He took one final deep breath in before glancing at Hunk, mouthing to him ‘I’ll be okay’ then striding on over to where Keith and Shiro were talking.

“Ready Mullet?” He asked the red paladin. Keith just gave him a slight smile before nodding at Shiro and replying “Sure thing partner.”

Pidge and Hunks maze went extraordinarily well as it always did. Hunk got a little nervous when giving directions like he always does, but it seemed more controlled than usual. Probably because he wanted to get back to trying to figure out how to create better food from food goo. Allura went with Shiro, but she only directed him rather than switching to be directed later. They always worked the best together, which was expected with them being the leaders and all.

It wasn’t until it was time for him and Keith to go that things started to go wrong. Lance could feel the anxiety starting to build up in him as he stepped into the maze. They always failed the maze. Never once have both of them successfully gotten through it without screaming at each other or purposefully running the other into the wall. Lance kept waiting for the shock that came whenever he ran into the wall but it never appeared.

“What the quiznack? Did Lance just go through the maze without touching the wall once?” He heard Pidge call from the control room over their coms.

“Wait I’m finished?”

“Yeah, congratulations boys. Now if you can do that again and maybe a little faster with Keith then looks like you two will be done with training for the day.” Allura replied.

“No but seriously. How did you two do that? You guys always bomb the maze?”

“I guess we just make a good team, Hunk.” He heard Keith let out. Lance could hear the amusement in his voice as he said it. Lance soaked that feeling in letting himself temporarily forget about the last few days and go along with the moment.

“Hell yeah we do!” He yelled back turning and smiling towards the room where everybody was standing watching him as he fist bumped the air.

Well, like everything else in Lance’s life, this started to fall apart as well. Lance got up into the control room and scanned over the map trying to find the best and quickest way out of there. That was the part he was good at, it was the speaking directions part that always got him. Ever since he was a kid things like directions took slightly more time to process than things like numbers and physical images did. He could feel the brief moment of happiness slipping away from him and feel the pull of anxiety and failure starting to take control again.

“Um, take two steps to your right and then head straight for another five steps. Small ones. Make sure they are small. Wait! Actually those were too big so stop.” The rest of the maze came out in hesitant statements and shaking words, but regardless Keith still stepped and turned as directed. Then he ran into the wall.

“Shit! Ow, come on Lance!”

“Oh God. Sorry, I- I meant left.”

“Ok, calm down Lance. It’s fine. Just think about it before you say things or we are going to lose points for aim rather than time.”

He hit the wall a total of 6 times. Which, is better than the usual count that is closer to 20 for each of them. Lance sighed in relief as Keith exited the maze rubbing the arm that took most of the shocks. ‘Shit that's his sword arm. Shit, great. Fuck he’s probably going to be mad.’

He felt Shiro pat him on the back but he didn’t respond. Words were being said to him but it was too much.

“Lan- Lance! Are you okay buddy?” He looked up at Hunk who was now holding onto his good arm supporting him so he wouldn’t fall.

‘So much for a normal day…’

“Lance I think you should spend your extra time off from training resting,” Shiro told him. He was giving him an extremely concerned look.

“Guys, what’s going on up there?” Keith asked from the floor of the training deck.

“Keith, could you help take Lance back to his room?”

“No! I’m fine. I can handle it, I have a broken arm not broken legs. I don’t need Keith to escort me, he already did that enough today.”

“Calm down Lance. You are really pale right now and… “

“Just shut up Pidge! I’m not a broken toy in need of fixing,” LIES. “I don’t need you guys treating me like a stupid child just because of a broken arm! You guys didn’t need to set up a competition to try and get me out of training early! I don’t need…”

“That is enough Lance,” He looked up into the hurt eyes of Pidge, the surprised eyes of Hunk and Shiro and the angry ones of Allura.

“I’m- oh God. No, sorry, I…” he didn’t finish the sentence, instead he just left the control area as fast as he could and walked back to the one place he knew would help him.

-------------

He could hear them talking about him over the comms as he walked towards the Bridge.

“There is something wrong with him besides just his arm.”

“Maybe he is more homesick than usual?”

“I think the other night just really messed him up.”

“Do you think he will be okay?”

When he got to his chair on the bridge he removed his helmet and pulled up the star map. The room around him grew dim and surrounding him were little spots of light representing every star, planet or sun that is around them. The star map always amazed him. How something so large could be contained to such a small area and even then it only showed was was nearby. There were just so many different things out there and none of them Lance had even known about when he left Earth. Oddly enough, the feeling of being so insignificant and small to such a large scheme of things did the exact opposite of what most people would think. Rather than make him more anxious it helped calm him and helped him focus in on what the real problems that mattered were.

He put in the coordinates for Earth and sat there while the image of it popped up in front of him. Small and blue just like a lot of the planets that were around him.

If he couldn’t go home, then why not at least look at it to give yourself a little motivation of what to fight for.

His mind became lost to him again, so much so that he wasn’t even aware of the person that had come in and sat down next to him. They sat there in silence for a long time just looking out at the various stars and the galaxies that were placed out in arm's reach of them. Neither one acknowledging the fact that the other was there. Just the two of them sitting amongst each other, small in comparison to where they were.

“Lance I…”

“I heard what you said.”

“What?”

“Yesterday. When you came into my room after arguing with Shiro. I was awake. And I heard you.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“Well I meant it.”

“I know you do. I could hear it in your words.”

“I don’t hate you.”

“I know.”

“I like you Lance… I actually really like you.” Lance could feel his heartbeat speed up as those words left Keith’s mouth. “And I was a coward for pretending this whole time like I didn’t. And for yelling back at you the other night when I could see that you needed help.” Lance felt warm as he became aware of Keith’s hand slowly covering his own in between them.

“I’m so sorry Lance. I’m so sorry I broke you.” Lance finally looked up at him while completely intertwining their hands together.

“It wasn’t you Keith. I was already a mess. Ever since we got here I’ve been a mess. It just became too much, I kept on piling on different things like you and our rivalry and not disappointing Shiro and trying to keep all of you alive and it just was so hard to do all of those things. And I broke. I spent so many nights awake trying to blame you for all of my issues and thinking that if it wasn’t for you then all of my problems would be solved but it wasn’t true. You didn’t break me Keith, that was all on me. Everything. From going off on you, to blaming you, everything was all me. All you did was play along with this stupid competition I created and looked great while doing it. If anything I should be sorry. Sorry that I hurt you, and the team and myself.”

“Lance, you didn’t hurt the team. Obviously. We were the ones most affected by the other night and look what we did today! We kicked Pidge and Hunks assses in the maze. If the team was affected, I think it would have shown today. If anything we are stronger than before.” He squeezed Lance’s hand as a way of reassurance and Lance squeezed back. “Oh my God look at us,” He said as he brought their hands up into the air so they could both see them. “It’s like our bonding moment that you don’t remember all over again.”

“Not exactly, this time you don’t have to cradle me as you carry my half dead body to the cyropods.” He said giving Keith a slight smirk getting an offended look out of Keith and a newly freed hand.

“I can’t believe I fell for you of all people,” Lance felt his face kind of drop at the statement. “It’s not like you made it hard or anything with your selflessness and stupid good looks.”

Lance didn’t know how to respond to that. He wasn’t used to getting compliments from people, especially Keith. So instead he just looked at Keith, smiled and leaned his head on his shoulder rather than taking his hand again.

“So what now,” he asked as Keith draped his arm around him carefully so that he wouldn’t bother Lance’s broken arm.

“Well now we try to fix you.”

“Keith, you do realize that I am extremely gone and that you alone won’t be able to do much.”

“Yeah, I know. But that doesn’t mean we can’t try.”

it hasn’t been edited but I know some people have been waiting a couple of weeks for this new part so I decided to go ahead and post it!

#lance (voltron)#keith (voltron)#klance #voltron #langst #klangst #voltron fic #allura (voltron)#shiro (voltron)#hunk garrett #pidge gunderson #keith kogane #lance mcclain #my writing #fandom textpost

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