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write-as-reign · 5 months

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Desert Reign excerpt

Ahrid

Kacie had every right to be annoyed, angry even, with him. Just days after their ‘heart-to-heart’, he was actively avoiding her. While he was very busy catching up with work that he’d let slide some or had entirely put off the past couple of weeks, he wasn’t sure that he had her completely convinced.

First, he’d refused to allow her in on his and Cody’s meetings. He trusted her, as did her brother, but the information being shared between them was confidential for a reason. Then, if they happened to pass in the corridors on his way between appointments, he would start an important-sounding conversation with a baffled staff member, apologising profusely once she’d passed and bidding them to ignore whatever rambling he’d done or duck into a side room.

He’d already stumbled across a butler, recently divorced, kissing a chef behind the door of what should have been an empty guest suite in his haste to enter the room. He’d assured them that they weren’t going to get into any trouble but suggested that one of their personal rooms would be a more appropriate place to continue such activities. All the while he’d peeked out the cracked door to make sure that Cala and Kacie were well on their way before reemerging.

He had even started eating alone in his suite rather than in the royal dining hall. His excuse had been that he needed the extra time alone to concentrate on work. It wasn’t untrue but was a too-convenient truth.

He sat on his lounge that night, staring at a short food tray with his mostly-finished meal replaced on it. It was the third dinner he’d eaten alone. He’d never truly ever been alone. Erhim had always been there since he was a child, and since returning from Hanestria there had also been Cala. Before his passing, Takryn had insisted that at least he and the boys eat their evening meals together. Though not his blood, he had been the twins’ family.

It wasn’t the seclusion that bothered him, not really. In fact, considering how little privacy he was allowed, he may have enjoyed it more, were it not a continuation of his toying with Kacie. It had never been his intention – it still wasn’t – but Cody had made it very clear that he would only give his full cooperation if Ahrid left Kacie alone.

Truth be told, the emperor didn’t think that the lieutenant was necessarily ‘wrong’ for his request. Despite the feelings that he had developed for Kacie he’d always held that she was more than likely suffering from the trauma she’d endured, he’d put her through. He wasn’t a psychiatrist, but he was sure that her apparent affection toward him, her tolerance of him, was Hostage Syndrome at least.

Ahrid was pulled from his thoughts when a series of quiet knocks came at the door. The pattern told him that a guard had knocked, and he bid the steward to enter.

“The Northman is here to see you, Your Majesty.”

The Northman. The staff knew who Cala and Leon were, they’d become a part of the twins’, and by extension the Palace’s, family. They hadn’t been told much about Cody or Kacie other than their being guests of the emperor. Ahrid waved for the guard to allow Cody in and began clearing up the rest of his meal, pushing the cart out of the way.

“Have you been ignoring me?” Ahrid jumped at the sound of Kacie’s annoyed voice, his head snapping up from the cluttered coffee-table to look at her. Though his night clothes weren’t indecent he stood and rewrapped his robe around himself, feeling exposed.

“I’m sorry?” He felt his face warm as he knotted the tie at his waist. He could have walked through central Ramzandan in his night clothes, fully covered and decent, and he’d been comfortable with Cody seeing him in ‘such a state’, but when he took a moment to acknowledge his embarrassment – well – that was embarrassing in itself. Hopefully she hadn’t noticed.

She moved across the room toward him, her eyes almost seeming to glow and her jaw set. “You heard me.”

Ahrid shifted his weight to search the door behind her. Cody was nowhere to be seen, and the guard had closed the door. At least that was a relief. He forced a light chuckle. “Ignoring you? No, of course not. I’ve just been – busy. Very busy.”

She stood only a foot or so from him now and had to lift her chin in order to look him in the eye. Even so, he felt quite small under her hard stare. “I don’t see any work.” She broke eye-contact a moment to glance over the table and lounge, but Ahrid hadn’t been reading any papers or filling any forms.

“My secretary had just collected this evening’s reports,” Ahrid said, “and brought me my meal.” It wasn’t technically untrue. It had been about an hour since the secretary had come, but he had collected reports and informed Ahrid of his schedule for the following day.

“If you were done you could have come and eaten with the rest of us,” she said.

He nodded. “I just didn’t think I would have finished so early—”

“You’re avoiding me,” she snapped. He saw hurt mixed with anger in her eyes and tightening her face. “Why?”

Ahrid sighed and retook his seat. He really hated lying to her. “I’ve been avoiding you,” he admitted. She made an irritated sound and crossed her arms. “I – promised your brother that I would.” He dared to look up at her, not surprised to see her scowl deepen.

She scoffed, the scowl twisting into a strained, rueful ‘smile’ for a moment. “Cody asked you to avoid me?”

“To leave you alone,” Ahrid clarified. “We agreed that it would be best for you.”

Kacie advanced another step, her knees colliding painfully with his, but she didn’t retreat. She stood a few heads higher than where he sat now, and he leaned back in surprise. He half expected her to strike him like she had the day they’d abducted Cody, and he wouldn’t stop her if she tried, but she kept her arms tightly crossed.

“You both ‘agreed’ that you ‘avoiding’ me is what’s ‘best’ for me?” She didn’t allow Ahrid a chance to respond. “What gives you the right to make that decision?”

“Well, I—”

“I know. ‘You’re Ramza’ and this is ‘your Palace’. But I am not your subject and my brother is certainly not my keeper.”

“That isn’t what I was going to say,” Ahrid murmured. He couldn’t help but be a little amused by her anger and was impressed that she was brave enough to talk to him this way, as much as he deserved it. She relaxed a little, then, and waited for him to continue.

“I was going to say that ‘I don’t want any more harm coming to you’, Kacie. I can’t imagine how stressful – hurtful – and damaging everything I’ve put you through has been.

“I just thought it would be best if I distanced myself until you’re able to go home.”

Her anger didn’t subside. “You ‘can’t imagine’? You ‘just thought’? Did you ever consider asking me?”

He had but didn’t know if he could trust that she’d be able to tell if her thoughts and feelings were genuine – which wouldn’t be her fault.

“That’s what Cala figured,” she muttered, almost to herself.

Her sudden appearance made more sense, now. “You’ve been talking to Cala? About me?”

Kacie raised her eyebrows. “She’s the most familiar with you,” she gestured to him, and then herself, “and all of ‘this’.”

“What did she tell you?” he asked carefully. Cala’s story was hers to tell if she wanted to, to whomever she wanted, but he didn’t like the idea of Kacie knowing too much about what had happened in Hanestria.

“She wasn’t comfortable talking about the war specifically. She did say that you like to blame yourself for things—”

“This is my fault,” he argued.

“Look, I’m not damaged.” She crossed her arms again. “I’m annoyed – and a little confused – but not broken. And I don’t need you or my brother making decisions for me. I’m an adult.”

Ahrid grimaced. “Confused?”

She glared at him, working her jaw a moment. “I mean, I’m not sure what to feel.” She shifted her weight, raising a hand suddenly. “Like, I don’t know whether I should—”

Ahrid flinched, preparing for the blow and to call off his guards. He’d felt sore a day after the first time she’d hit him, and without a beard now hoped he wouldn’t have to try and hide any marks.

Her hand met his cheek, but it was gentle. Before he could open his eyes again, he felt her lips on his. There were tears in her eyes when she pulled away.

Ahrid reached up and put his fingers to his lips before catching her hand as she started to move away. “I’m sorry, Kacie, for—”

“Don’t you dare say ‘for everything’.”

The emperor closed his mouth.

“Stop doing things – or not doing things – because you’ve decided that it’s what you think is best for me, especially when you haven’t even consulted me.”

Ahrid nodded.

“And, if you’re just using my feelings as an excuse because you want to stay away from me, at least just have the balls to say that’s what you want.” She paused, searching his eyes. “Is that what you want?”

Ahrid could have laughed. “Of course not!”

Kacie gave him a sad smile and nodded once. “Okay.”

He stood to follow her as she continued to move away, saying, “I’ll let you get back to your ‘work’.”

“Are we – okay?” he still held onto her wrist, though he let her slip from his grasp enough that her hand was cradled in his.

She nodded and hummed in affirmation.

Ahrid frowned, thinking for a moment. “Then – where are you going?”

“To ‘talk’ to my brother.”

* * *

Warm lips brushed across his. He kept his eyes squeezed closed. He could hear the soft shifting of sand and the whisper of wind, but felt none of the oppressive desert heat. A hand pressed firm against his chest, fingers spread open across his shirt, before grasping the fabric and pulling him, stumbling, forward.

Though his heart raced from gripping anxiety – and something else, something he hadn’t felt in a very, very long time – he felt no danger. A hand caressed his face, and lips danced over his collarbones, and Ahrid dared to open his eyes.

It was night, but the desert was illuminated by the bright light of the two moons that hung in their sea of too-bright stars. A figure embraced him tightly about his waist, warm gold hair resting beneath his chin and against his chest. Her smell was familiar, and he ground his teeth as another understood – but long forgotten – feeling surged through him.

A voice he knew, in almost a whisper, said his name. Not the name she’d known him by for so long, but his real name, followed by a contented sigh. She pressed herself closer to him, and her hand started to work its way up beneath his shirt and across his bare chest. She made a comment about how smooth his skin was—

“Kacie—” Ahrid put a hand on her shoulder – it was bare, and he felt her warm, soft skin beneath his palm. The feeling, again, leapt in him, and Ahrid squeezed his eyes shut once again. He pushed her away, apologising, but his arm only found empty air.

His bed was fit for an emperor, and the specific dimensions of the mattress were even aptly named ‘emperor’. It took up the majority of the floorspace and could probably sleep five with room to spare. It was a bit excessive, in his opinion, but Erhim had shared his room until the boys reached maturity. No one else had ever been there, at least not in his reign, and Ahrid now lay in the centre of the expansive mattress, sweat beading on his brow and breathing heavily – alone.

He threw an arm over his eyes, willing himself to relax. Being in Hanestria, and surviving everything that he had there despite it having been many years in the past, had ruined him. Kacie was the first woman he’d ever kissed since returning all those years ago. He could probably count on one hand the number of women he’d allowed to touch him, even as innocently as a handshake, since then other than Cala.

Nausea built in him despite, or because of, his body’s reluctance to listen to his mind and relax.

He wasn’t evil or cruel, and he had no intention of acting on these unwelcome thoughts. But, based on how she had come to him earlier that day, it seemed that she had different ideas as to what the nature of their relationship should be.

Maybe they had the same desire for the nature of their relationship. In many ways, that seemed to be the case – but despite their conversation earlier that evening, he still had his reservations. His own feelings were selfish. He dared not consider how they may have been borne from some semblance of power –

Kacie’s, though – they hadn’t been cruel to her, but she had still done what she believed necessary to survive. She didn’t come to them willingly. Their relationship hadn’t been built on equal footing. And especially now that she knew who he really was, the imbalance between them had shifted immeasurably.

He didn’t want to, and never would, harm her intentionally, and he believed that she knew that. She didn’t have any cause to really fear him – though he was the most powerful man in the country, who was the target of her military for whatever menagerie of crimes they were accusing him of. At this point he couldn’t even keep up with all of the theories and speculation, and with Karynthia not being open with him, those were all he had.

Ahrid sat up and buried his face in his hands, propping his elbows on his crossed legs. Looking over at the clock on his bedside table he saw there were still over three hours to go before his day would have typically started. And, he hadn’t been sleeping well, so it would be in his best interest to lay down again, but he just couldn't.

His mind wandered as he paced out into the entry of his suite, his eyes squinting against the dim blue lights above the kitchenette turning on at his movement. If he went to Kacie then he had a feeling she wouldn’t send him away – and he hated that. If he believed she would, he may have gone. Maybe he wanted to go to infuriate Cody. He wanted Cody to be angry with him.

Ahrid shook his head, starting the machine to brew himself a cup of coffee. Usually in the morning he would poke his head outside and ask the guards if they wanted a drink, but he didn’t want to see anyone just then.

He could have laughed at himself. He wanted Kacie, and he wanted Cody to beat him to a pulp for it. He wanted someone to finally hold him responsible for his actions. Wouldn’t he deserve it?

Ahrid jumped when the machine gave a high-pitched beep, and took up the cup of coffee, carrying it across the space and sitting down at the dark, quiet lounge. Where he’d been sitting when Kacie had come. When she’d assured him that she was okay, that he hadn’t harmed her, and that she wanted to be near him – that she was angry for his avoidance and desire to protect her from himself.

Would he deserve it?

#oc #desert reign #original writing #ahrid #Ahrid Asien #kacie #Kacie Leron #Paratia

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