Some camp role headcanons because I'm one of those bloggers now.

We all know Gale is the cook, and that's what he does best. Also Keeper of Arcane Secrets (organizes the book stash and relevant documents, gets really upset when someone doesn't follow this week's order (it's alphabetical by author, not title) or forgets to put stuff back where they found it).

Lae'zel keeps everybody's weapons sharp and oiled and ready. This is not innuendo, she's fucking dead serious about always keeping your blades in top condition. If you can't kill well, you'll be well killed. Or some shit. Idk, give that sword here, bitch.

Astarion doesn't want to have an official camp role aside from "prettyboy nuisance," but one day he offers to patch up the embroidery on Tav's sleeve, and it's all over. People come to him to mend their clothes and armor. He's good at it, because he's been forced to keep whatever he has in functional and presentable shape for decades.

Wyll, with his high charisma and noble background, keeps the camp's guests happy, particularly those who stay temporarily, and mediates minor conflicts. He's in charge whenever Tav isn't around, and tries to keep people content but also moving on quickly, so there's no pressure on the rest of the team.

Karlach is in charge of the inventory, mostly the mundane stuff. Keeps the camp stocked on food, but also sorts loot by stuff to sell and stuff to keep, so they're not lugging around pointless crap. Can't always tell if one enchanted blade is better than the other, but if Tav hasn't given it to someone by now, into the sell pile it goes.

Shadowheart is the medic, but very reluctantly. She won't offer you any gentle words or affirmations, and will probably just call you an idiot for stepping into a pool of acid that reduced your toes to goo. She'll grow them back, but also make fun of you relentlessly, and gossip about it later. She will NOT touch the weird rash WHERE?

I'm not really feeling like myself today so I'm gonna indulge myself a little.

I don't remember the last time I talked about anal on here but more specifically, I'm imagining Lee and his little innocent wife again (I know you've all missed Lee as much as I have 🥵)

I think anal would be something she wouldn't often ask for because I always imagine she's quite shy about asking for what she wants but anal becomes one of their mutual favourites very quickly.

The way Lee would dote on you before anal just makes me melt. He's not nearly as reckless and rough. It's all gentle praises and soft kisses, trailing his thick fingers against your soaked sex until they're well enough coated in your arousal that he can slide two into your ass.

He'd be so mesmerised by the way you enjoy it; watching the sweet, innocent woman he married begin to explore her own sexuality and slowly start to indulge in fantasies she'd never admitted to anyone else just does it for him.

Lee's not a stranger to toys in the bedroom but nothing makes him hard like the memory of the first evening he came home from work to his wife, a couple of days after he'd got you a cute little princess plug.

He's usually greeted with a brief kiss when he comes in the door but that night, you couldn't tear your mouth off his if you tried. He tastes faintly of the toffees he keeps in the car but his mouth is so warm and distinctly his, it's addictive.

"What's gotten into you, sweetie?" You've pressed yourself flush against his body, standing on your tiptoes to kiss him while your fingers hook his belt loops, pulling him closer.

" 'm sorry. I need you." You've been worked up all day, imagining how your husband will touch you when he gets home and now he's here, you don't want to wait. The dinner can burn for all you care.

You notice how warm his hands are as they shift from your waist, reaching down to squeeze your ass and when you whimper against his mouth, it all clicks for him.

"Livin' room, sweetheart." That's exactly where he wants to be right now, instead of cramped in your tiny little hallway and when you don't make a move, he scoops you up and carries you there before sitting down in his armchair.

"Turn around. Bend over." They're clear instructions. Your feet are planted between his as you follow his lead. He pulls the skirt of your dress up and your underwear down your legs.

"God, do y'have any idea how wet you are?" The sparkling end of the plug sits neatly between the cheeks of your ass but it's hard to miss the way your slick arousal seems to almost glisten on your skin in the dim lighting.

Your breath catches in your throat feeling your husband trail his thick fingers from your neglected clit, back to tease your soaked entrance. Your body resists him pressing into you though. Having one hole filled at a time is more than enough for you for now.

"Thought I'd try it this mornin'. Slipped it in before I started the cleaning." You might feel embarrassed at how exposed you are if you weren't so turned on. "Couldn't even think straight by noon."

"Such a good girl for me. Shoulda called, honey. I'd have come straight home" He taps the base of the plug rhythmically and even that's enough to make you squirm. With his other hand, he's palming his own cock through his work trousers but that's not his main focus in that moment.

"Let me take the edge off for you. I'll take real good care of you after dinner, how does that sound?" His fingers circle your clit with the kind of ease that only comes with practice while he taps the base of the plug with the fingers of his other hand. Your body flutters around the metal inside you, offering a pleasant reminder of how full you feel and you're quite sure nothing will compare to the evening you have ahead of you.

i really like giving ocs similar hobbies (?) but in the sense of it being due to proximity to each other... idk if wyatt or al knew to play guitar first but one of em taught each other. al's guitar is There so why wouldn't talon pick it up ykwim

AHHHHHHHYYHH

YES I LOVE MY RED PIKMAN!!!! HE LOVES SWIMMBING!! :DD

I know Kalim is extremely privilege and spoiled, and I know there are times when he uses said privilege to his advantage, and I know there are time when he can be selfish, but I think taking his character at face value is really a disservice to not only his character, but Jamil's as well. Not to mention the fandom's other interpretation of him just being a dumb and silly clown who's an idiot who can't do anything without help or outside interference is wrong as well. I think Kalim as a character is complex and extremely lonely in the sense that the only people he was arround for the longest time was his family and servants, and we've seen time and time again that many people in his family have tried to assassinate him, and he's finally had to come to terms that his actions do have real life consequences against the people around him. But he's not the only reason why Jamil overblotted. And he's definitely one of Jamil's biggest supporters, and he still trusts and loves him as a friend even though Jamil has given him every reason to do the exact opposite. Kalim is a loving and optimistic character, he's can be dense at times sure, but he's not stupid. The reason why Jamil got to stay vice house warden was Kalim's interference and him trusting that Jamil won't try to put other in danger because of his complex relationship with Kalim. He also still views Jamil as a friend and want to be equals with him. Hell him getting jealous that Jamil got chosen over him in chapter five shows that he knows that Jamil is extremely talented and that he was holding him back, to the point where he wants to improve himself so he can say on his own he can be better that Jamil without Jamil having to handicapping everything he does to appease not only Kalim, but his parents(I think people often forget that Jamil at a very young age was told by his family that he had to be worse than Kalim and how mentally damaging that must have been to him, Kalim isn't fully at fault, be he still was complacent). Not to mention, intelligence wise? If his family trust that he can host a huge ass festival, for idk his country, I think people need to give him more credit. Yes he would no doubt have help with events like this, but he's been shown to be an excellent host, being resourceful, and he no doubt had some of the best private tutors could buy. Kalim is rich, and he's sheltered, but that doesn't mean he's not willing to learn from his mistakes and actions.

Idk, I just thought I'd ramble because I think more people should like Kalim and how he's a fun and complex character, and not only how interesting his relationship with Jamil is, but with other characters are. I'd like to talk about his relationship with other characters later though since this post is getting long tbh.

no but genuinely where are yall hiding. where are the mtalocalypse discord servers. i have nothing good to contribute but im kind of funny sometimes (i am batting my eyelashes at you) ((yall are all so cool let me be friends with you))

I cannot stop thinking about a few weeks ago when I was visiting my friend up north and we were talking about secondhand clothing and I said how i struggle to find pants long enough and they were like “oh I didn’t realize most pants are just way too short on you, I always thought you just liked to rock the capri vibe for some reason” :-(

since seeing jonny with his Frat Harem™ i desperately want a fic about rookie!jonny, who had been out as bi at UND and happily hooking up with anyone he wanted, coming to chicago.

he's a smart kid, and he's been media trained for years, but instead of making him cautious, it's given him insight that some players wouldn't have. the season hasn't even started yet, and he's already sat through countless hours of PR "strategy sessions" and "vision boards" that showcase him and patrick as the new superstars. he's watched clips of their nearly empty arena and seen his face printed on the tickets for the home opener, and he knows.. this team needs him much more than he needs them.

so he decides that while he's not going to flaunt it, he's not going to hide being bi, either. he's just as likely to pick up a guy as he is a girl when he's out, and sometimes guys are just easier. they know their way around a dick better than any girl ever has, and they're a lot more willing to get off and get out, which is something he has come to value as his rookie season has only gotten more exhausting as it goes on.

the guys give him shit, but more about being kind of a slut than the "picking up guys" thing. he finds condoms in his locker and laughs when sharpy jokes that he just wanted to make sure jonny didn't run out. jonny jokes back, but throws them in his bag, because hey, never hurts to be extra prepared. sharpy also signs himself up for some website called twitter, where strangers apparently post pictures of him stumbling out of bars in boystown, two guys with popped collars and backwards baseball caps trailing behind him on the way to the cab stand.

he can't even be mad when sharpy prints those pictures out and tapes them up all over the locker room. that had been a good night, and he can't help but feel his cheeks heating when he remembers it.

seabs catches the look on his face, and the room is immediately filled with cheers and groans, and people debating whether a threesome "counts" if it's "three dicks, no chicks." jonny takes it with good grace, mainly because one of those guys had a mouth like a fucking hoover, and he's already made plans to meet back up with him tonight, so it's he in too good a mood to spoil.

pat is quiet through all the joking and ribbing. he's never said anything, good or bad, about jonny's reputation, and jonny's never pushed him. he knows pat is pretty catholic, even if he doesn't talk about it much, and he's been afraid to ask what pat thinks about his open door policy. he tries to respect pat, doesn't bring anyone back to the room on roadtrips, and pat doesn't either.

in fact, pat rarely goes out on the road, is always tucked into bed like a good boy when jonny gets back from whatever bar the vets have snuck him into. he tries to be quiet, but he usually needs a shower and a drink of cold water before bed, so he sometimes trips over the water bottles that he left on the floor. pat's pretty chill about it, most of the time.

their mutual silence on jonny's sex life comes to an end one night in edmonton, snowed in and drunk on the contents of their hotel mini bar.

I’m gonna get cancelled for this but someone has to say it…. i have beef with the way sapphic senate fans give chrissy so many headcanons and ships when she really only had 2 minutes of screentime

Barbara Holland is right there

I’m about to revive #JusticeForBarb fr because why are y’all ignoring an actually gay coded plus size girl that was there since season 1 😕

spreading my Kali Prasad agenda as well, seeing as i’m a day 1 robali champion… come on guys put some respect on my girl’s name

.

Plenty of arranged marriage fics of Naoya where the reader is from a less powerful clan and she’s at his mercy, but I am thinking of an Uno Reverse. Sorcerers aren’t as abundant outside Japan, but imagine there is a clan of non-Japanese sorcerers that are well-known for their power. They offer to give the Zenin even more of a political sway by forming bonds and contracts with one another - on one condition.

And that singular condition is painfully obvious, as the only daughter & heiress of said clan has just the biggest doe eyes for Naoya. It’s an offer they’d be stupid to refuse, but said heiress matches none of Naoya’s misogynistic standards for women, and what’s worse, her tongue is twice as sharp as his, too!

I got a massage bar at the start of the week and honestly, I didn't expect it to fill my head with thoughts of using it on a really submissive dad's best friend Bucky 🙈

Because I imagine he doesn't really relax very often. His life gets busy, things are overwhelming sometimes and he rarely takes the chance to let himself decompress. There would be some small self-care wins though and the day he does his first face mask with you probably stands out in his head as one of his favourite days ever.

But I love to imagine him fresh out of the shower with his hair still slightly damp while his body is dry. He's laid on his front on the bed, wearing just his underwear, scrolling on his phone and you know it's been a long week for him.

He seems content now though, not that you can really see his face. The gentle arch of his back is so inviting, your brain reminding you of how it feels to trail kisses down his spine while he lies like this.

He's been so tense all week, you hardly know where to start. Breaking off a little piece of the massage bar and letting the fragment soften in your hands gives you some time to decide a course of action. Do you begin with those broad, tense shoulders and work from there down or do you want to start on the small of his back and work your way towards his neck?

As the solid butters melt with your body heat, filling the room with the scent of patchouli and vanilla, you decide to work from his shoulders down. You know you've made the right decision when you hear his content sigh at the gentle kisses you litter across the bare skin of the back of his neck.

"What are you doing?" The hint of a smile on his face carries in his voice while you settle on top of him.

"Nothing. Relax." The shea and cocoa butters in the bar have melted into a much slicker consistency, allowing your hands to glide over the broad expanse of his strong shoulders with very little resistance. You touch him gently to begin with, spreading the oils over the top half of his back before pressing heavier to work them into his skin.

His shoulders are as tense as you expected them to be but it doesn't take much to relax them. Your fingertips sink in to the soft flesh where his neck curves into his shoulders, rubbing in small, concentrated circles.

"That's nice." He hums, sounding truly relaxed. There's no rush with this. It can take as long as he likes. You've got all night to appreciate the man in front of you and you could happily spend every second just touching him.

It's fun to play around with the pressure of your touch. With one palm planted on each side of his spine, your firm, languid strokes up the length of his back drag soft gasps from his parted lips. Your fingertips moving in gentle circles however, draw a contented hum from his throat. The kind of hum that makes you want to cradle his head to your chest. He thrives off affection like no one else and it only makes you want to give him every ounce you can muster.

The most delightful sounds he makes come when your fingernails dig in while you trail the length of his back. He's always enjoyed the soothing feeling of a gentle back scratch but with each scratch, you notice how he subtly grinds against the mattress with a quiet moan.

He's forgotten all about his bad week at work, that much is clear.

"Baby, please." It's barely more than a whisper but you couldn't have missed it. He's done with the back rub and that's more than fine. You take take the spot on the bed beside him while he turns to lie on his back, noticeably hard beneath the underwear that you quickly discard.

Precum leaks from his tip and he appreciates that your hands are still slick more than you could ever know. One firm pump of your hand, rolling your palm over the tip is enough to make him gasp. He's neglected his own need for far too long.

"F-fuck." He groans, beginning to thrust in time with your hand movements, fucking himself into your fist. It's erratic and needy and the light blush to his cheeks gives away that he's embarrassed about his lack of self-restraint. Not embarrassed enough to stop though.

"God, you're pathetic." You tease, lost in the way the degradation makes him tense up. He gets off on this and so do you. "I bet you couldn't last if you were inside me right now."

His breath catches in his throat because he knows you're right. Hell, he's struggling to last right now. There's no expectation for him to last forever this time around though. You know he'll be able to offer you a whole lot more once he gets this out of his system.

"N-no. I couldn't. I couldn't last." He's so beautiful and he doesn't even know it. You notice that he's even more beautiful with streams of his cum rolling down over your fingers, desperate sobs tumbling from his lips and his over pleasured groans hanging in the humid bedroom air.

Afterwards, the man seems boneless. He's content, melting into the bed and once you've had a chance to clean up, he pulls you in for the softest kisses.

👁👁

I touched on it last night, but I gotta share my thots cause I haven't stopped thinking about her at all. But I'm sure everyone has heard about how Hitoshi (Kuze's actor) got head from a trans girl that was so good it made him into a trans ally. IDK how true that is, but he did direct a film about a trans woman with an actual trans lead in it. Which led me down the idea that Kuze's also a trans ally which then led me to the idea of him actually having a wife who is trans.

So the idea was that his wife use to be his kyodai and they definitely had some homoerotic shit going on, with Kuze having his gay crisis over it while the other was going through a gender crisis. The conclusion in @thomasjopsons words

Anyways they get together and it's all fun and games. Kuze helps her come up with a name which is Hiromi (kanji being 優美 meaning superior beauty) and they live happily ever after. Till he gets thrown into prison for 11 years but that's okay! He gets out and they retire.

There's also other stuff, like her interacting with other gokudo wives and Kuze beating the shit out of anyone who says anything. They got two dogs.

watched dune2 and I rate it 9/10 I liked it

Dale Jennings got internalized homophobia so strong he didn't realize that a guy known to everyone as Gay Tim a) is into him b) is even gay at all. more bisexual rep like this please