I just vividly remembered the time my brother refused to get up (after like 3pm late) so I threatened to give him a Sternum Rub (he got up pretty fast after that)

For those of you who dont know. A Sternum Rub (when done correctly) is a very painful but not harmful technique done by EMS to try and get a patient responsive.

ANYWAYS- long story short, I thought to myself "God thats so batfam coded" and now I have to create a scenerio so I can add this in my fic ASAP.

also if I don’t see one million billion pieces of fanart of Scar looking evil and sexy saying “Fine. They want me to be a villain? I’ll be a villain” I think we as a fandom have failed

my Mishima goods have LANDED

Thank you so much @middaymoon!! 🥹💘

3am lads does anyone have advice for sleeping when you are so so stressed

Been thinking about you hon, missed seeing you around. Glad to have you pop up in my feed again ❤️

oh boy have i had a productive day:

got out of bed immediately

emptied the dishwasher

filled the dishwasher (i usually only do one part of it, rarely both)

had breakfast downstairs

sent an email i had been putting off since the day i got it (friday)

finished a oneshot that i’ve been working on since the 1st

and made a good start on the colouring of a drawing i want to finish asap

AND i’ve only been awake for like seven hours, so fingers crossed i can keep this momentum going and do more

Applying for social housing is so humiliating, hate that for myself 🤡

Alright, speed drawing time

im rewatching some starscream-centric s2 episodes and... i am kind of shaken up over the fact im gonna meet the voice behind this character in just a few days. starscream’s had such a huge, huge positive impact on my life these last 2 years + other main f/os he’s voiced.

i dont know what im gonna say. ive run it through my head millions of times when it’s dead at work and i daydream random shit, but i never actually thought i’d get the chance to actually say anything bc i never imagined he’d come to my state, let alone that i’d really get the courage to go to one!! im very excited but also nervous that i’ll say something stupid or worse, if i mention im someone who requested so many cameos he’d be like “oh great. did you know i’ve always hated you :)”

idk how cons work so i am guessing i will have 15 seconds to give him my envelope full of pressed flowers and art, i dont know if i can even like, speak or if it’s just an incredibly rushed thing. he’ll probably say “ok cool” or maybe he won’t look at me at all. honestly i dont expect anything to really come out of this experience except the satisfaction that i’d finally be able to give him something to really, properly thank him. idk if he’ll actually open the envelope or if he’s gonna throw it away without even reading it, idk if he’s going to keep the charms or put them in a box and shove it into the dumpster. i dont know. but at least i can tell myself that i’d done it. 

ok so i said that i rly like the newest lovejoy album that jason introduced me to. but he's currently playing wilbur soot's (lovejoy lead singer) your city gave me asthma album forbme and. it's hitting the spot right now.

I need to cut my hair and I need to change my entire appearance and I need to leave the country and I need to get a lobotomy and I need to be unable to feel negative emotions and I need to have everyone in my life forget me and I need to fucking die

last bit of paper mache finished off, teacher emailed while i was working on it :') aaaaa

So, my dumb ass...

TW: Talk about weight

So, recently, my weight has plateaued, and as you guys know, that's hella fucking infuriating. So, I decided to start excersising more, and since my thighs are a problem area for me, I decided to do leg exercises. Well, my dumb ass over did it, and now it's been a few days and it's hard to walk.

Fml...

reading daylighters rn and am stuck between getting through it fast so I can move on to obsessing over something else asap and dragging it out as much as I can bc I don't want it to end

also the feeling after a morganville reread always suuuucks like it makes me feel like actual shit and I never know what to do with myself so I'm not looking forward to that

ok maybe I'm a little late to this BUT I'm gonna do a to-do list motivation thingy because I've had the worst two weeks since I started college :)

SO these I should start on asap:

50 I make the snack I really want but I haven't had the motivation to make

100 I clean my dorm. another thing I've been meaning to do for a week

150 I do the presentation about mid-victorian fashion I've been putting off (due Monday)

200 I start memorizing the monologue that was due a week ago (now due Tuesday)

these can wait longer:

300 I spend time outside. It's so nice but I'm getting stuck scrolling because I feel like shit. vicious cycle ect

500 I start setting a better weekend routine (aka getting up before noon)

1k I start working out again. I was doing a routine to get more masc and build muscle and I liked it but life hit me like Crowley driving the Bentley and I've missed like 3 weeks

2k I buy my first binder. I've been coping with sports bras for almost a year now and I haven't been able to justify spending $50+ on a binder even though I know I'd love it and use it everyday.

Do I tag people? I don't know but I'm going to. @the-globe-theatre-maggot @weirdly-specific-but-ok @howmanyholesinswisscheese

here's just some context if you want to read, feel free to skip. some of this I've talked about in the maggot server, some I haven't, but I really just need a place for this to go that's out of my head. tw homophobia, transphobia, car crash(??)

How I Have Been Run Over By The Bentley Going 90 In Central London What Feels Like 50 Times In The Last Two Weeks

I'm going to college about 4 hours away from my parents, and it's been really nice. They.. suck, to say the least. transphobic/homophobic ect, super traditional conservative catholic, racist, all of it. so i tried to move somewhere where I wouldn't have to think about them and I could be myself and do what I can to be happy. March 1st was the start of my spring break, which meant going home because the dorms close. I was already not excited, but I was prepared. the problem with being away from home is I forget just how bad they are. My optimism gets the better of me and I think maybe this time they'll be better. so I decided to not hide my septum piercing.

that was a mistake. it starts a whole fight where they say we know you're trans, you're actually a girl and you always will be, we have the bones argument, they think I'm being influenced by demons or something (if only they knew about crowley) because I want to change my name, and they tell me that going on t will completely ruin my body and give me cancer and other things. They're also mad about my dyed hair, septum, and general style, and say I'm setting a terrible example for my (5) younger siblings and make it a point to tell me just how much of a disappointment I am. I think I'm pretty cute and fun but y'know, whatever. very fun time. I lie so much, don't give them any more details about my identity, and say I'm not planning to go on t to save my ass. which is all on instinct which makes me feel worse because if I'm really trans I should be able to stand up for that, right? maybe I'm faking the dysphoria.

the next morning I wake up really sick, and spend the rest of the week sick and feeling like shit because I'm home and back in the same place and situation I was a year ago that I thought I escaped. at one point I pretty much lose my voice but also kind of get gender euphoria from it. it's weird.

On Friday it's time for me to drive back 4 hours to school, and I make it about 3/4 of the way when google maps takes me on a random gravel road and I crash my car, really crash my car, like sideways-in-a-ditch-windows-broken-crawling-up-out-the-door crash it in the middle of nowhere. (I was fully paying attention to the road, it was raining and super slick) I call my parents because I have no one else to call and I sit in a Subway for 3 hours while they drive to get my car. when they get there they're (understandably) really mad, and they tell me that I'm not mature enough to be going to school so far away and I need to get my shit together and stop depending on them. which. is probably true. but made me feel even more stupid about the fact that I crashed my car. I get back to school and I'm still Very Sick with no energy or motivation to do anything. So I've spent the last week trying to get better and honestly to do anything. it hasn't really worked. I'm a lot better health-wise (Not emotionally), still sick but I have a lot of work due, so I really need a push to get started

OH MY FUCKING GOD I AM. very happy. my speech i had to give that i crammed on bcs i was really anxious about even just thinking it and i had to deliver it memorized and in front of the whole class for the first time in years? i only got. minus 1.25