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watchmegetobsessed · 3 years

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TO LOVE AND BE LOVED - Part Six (Harry Styles)

a/n: LAST PART OMG!! im a little emotional this story has come to its end but it already ended up like twice as long as i planned it to be haha! thank you so much for reading and loving the story, it means so much to me and i loved seeing your reactions as the plot developped! i hope you guys will be happy with the ending our pair got and i can’t wait to read your thoughts about the series as a whole!!

pairing: CEO!Dad!Harry X Reader

warning: mentions of death, cheating and divorce, sexual content

word count: 14.8k

SERIES MASTERPOST masterlist

Waking up next to Harry is probably your most favorite thing in the entire world right now and you’ve been able to experience it every morning since you dropped Izzy off at Anne’s. You’re missing her like crazy and can’t wait to have her back, but part of you is desperate to stretch these days as long as possible, because you’re not sure if Harry will be comfortable with you sleeping in his room once his little one is back under the roof.

It’s always the same, yet you can’t get enough of it. Harry grumbles as he turns the alarm off, snuggles back to you for just a few minutes before he forces himself to take a shower. In the meantime you start breakfast and his coffee waits for him ready by the time he joins you in the kitchen. You eat together, sometimes talking, sometimes just silently enjoying each other’s presence and it’s the perfect way to start your days.

Then Harry is off to work and you go for whatever shooting you had planned for the day. Luckily, you’ve been keeping yourself busy. If your day ended early, you always found something else to do, you picked Trevor up another time and also managed to have lunch with Harry on Thursday which was such a nice change, even if it was just eating takeout in his office because you were in the neighborhood and he had some time to see you.

Now it’s Friday and you’re spending it with some editing and eventually packing, since you’re leaving to the countryside for Sarah and Mitch’s wedding when Harry comes home. You’ve been looking forward to this weekend all week, you had a few phone calls with Sarah and the two of you hit it off quite well, you can’t wait to finally attend the wedding. And also because Harry is coming with you, so it’ll be a kind of weekend getaway even though the two of you have been alone home all week.

Harry runs a little late from work so you leave about an hour later than you planned, but it’s all good, since nothing is planned for the evening, you just wanted to be at the location on time. It’s going to be a small wedding, nothing extra and it’s held in an inn near the beach, the perfect spot in your opinion, especially because even the weather seems to be celebration the occasion and it won’t be raining cats and dogs.

Heather: A double date? I don’t know, who’s the guy?

You’re texting Heather in the car and you finally bring up the possibility of going on a double date with Niall.

Y/N: Photo attachment

Y/N: He is a cool guy, I think you would like him!

Heather: He surely is hot! Alright, we’ll see. Anyway, have fun with your super hot and rich boyfriend this weekend! Tell me all about the wedding next week!

Y/N: Thanks!

Your eyes scan over the word boyfriend. You didn’t want to correct her and tell her that you are not boyfriend and girlfriend, just dating, because you kind of enjoy the thought of being an official item. It’s been just a few weeks since it all started and you know that Harry needs to take things in his own pace, but that doesn’t mean you don’t like to play with the thought.

You’re aching to finally call him your boyfriend or what’s better, hear him call you his girlfriend. The thought of calling this man yours is making you go nuts but you need to be patient with him. He has gone through so much change lately, you can’t let your silliness ruin it for the both of you.

It’s late by the time you arrive to the Inn and you both feel exhausted from the ride so you want nothing else than to get a good night sleep before the wedding tomorrow.

“I’m so glad you’re here!” Sarah greets the two of you when you walk into the Inn. She envelopes you in a warm hug before doing the same with Harry. IN the meanwhile, Mitch has also appeared and he greets you with a short hug as well before giving a brotherly hug to Harry. “Had a safe ride?”

“Yeah, everything went fine,” you nod smiling.

“Great. Well, here is your room key, made sure you two are getting one of the larger rooms,” Sara smiles slyly, but you’re taken aback by something else.

“We’re sharing a room?” you ask turning to Harry, who seems nervous about your question, though it wasn’t your intention to make him ashamed in any kind of way.

“Oh, yeah. I mean, Sarah asked me this week which room I want and I told her we would be sharing… Is that okay? We-we could ask for a room for you as well if y—“ “Harry,” you chuckles softly, giving his hand a squeeze. “I would love to share, I just wasn’t expecting you to want to do the same is all,” you tell him and you can see the relief in his eyes instantly.

You talk over a few things with Sarah before taking your stuff up to the room and calling it a night. Harry takes a shower first in the small bathroom that’s joined to your room and in the meantime you hang your dress up so it doesn’t get too wrinkly by the morning. Then you just get all your equipment done, making sure everything is full and loaded for the big day tomorrow. When Harry is done you take your turn and the hot shower feels nice, quite relaxing. Walking out you find Harry lying in bed, typing on his phone, he smiles up at you when you join him in bed.

“My mum sent me this. They went to the park today.” He turns the screen towards you and a photo of Izzy is shown with ice-cream all over her face, grinning happily into the camera.

“She could literally live on ice-cream,” you chuckle, making yourself comfortable under the sheets.

“And gummy bears,” Harry chuckles before locking his phone and putting it to the side table. He is quick to wrap his arms around you, pulling you against his side and you smile as you snuggle to him, enjoying the heat of his body. “Good night, love,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to the top of your head.

“Good night, H,” you softly reply before letting yourself drift to sleep within seconds.

You already have a lot of experience with weddings and no matter how big or small it is, the day is always a little bit chaotic, everyone is all over the place, there’s no time for just messing around, especially for you.

Following a nice breakfast with Harry on the tiny balcony that’s connected to your room, you are forced to part since Harry is supposed to be with all the other guys, getting ready in the room that’s reserved for Mitch, while you kind of need to be everywhere at the same time, but you obviously spend the most time with Sarah, wanting to capture all her best moments.

Sometime around noon you get about an hour off while everyone else is getting lunch and Harry texts you to join him on the mole down the beach that runs just below the inn. When you arrive he is already sitting on one of the old wood benches with a pizza box on his lap.

“Hey,” you smile softly and leaning down you peck his lips quickly before joining him on the bench.

“The boy ordered pizza and I got one for us too, hope it’s okay.”

“Of course, I didn’t even think about lunch until you texted,” you chuckle as he settles the box between the two of you and you both take a slice.

“So how are the photos coming up so far?”

“Good, I’ll have a ton of editing to do, but I think they will like the outcome.”

“Can I have a sneak peek of them?” he smirks playfully, but you shake your head.

“No, the first ones to see them will be Sarah and Mitch, sorry,” you chuckle as he pouts his lips at you, but goes back to his slice right after.

You both are just enjoying the quiet for a little, having had a busy day so far, exchanging very few words, but it’s still a nice time spent together. It is just the two of you until a guy approaches you on the mole.

“Hey guys! Mitch wondered where you went, H,” he smirks down at Harry before his eyes land on you. He is tall, but not as tall as Harry, rocking a noticeable beard and he is wearing the same outfit as Harry: maroon pants with a crispy white dress shirt. “Oh, you’re the photographer, right?” he smiles at you.

“Yeah, I’m Y/N,” you answer nicely, holding out a hand for him.

“I’m Landon, Mitch’s cousin,” he nods with a charming smile. “Sorry for interrupting your lunch guys. Just wanted to let you know that Mitch wants to do a round of shots when everyone’s back,” he chuckles.

“He is gonna be so hammered,” Harry chuckles shaking his head. “I’ll be back soon, thanks Landon.”

“No worries. I’ll see you around, Y/N,” he smiles at you before turning around and walking back to the inn. You catch Harry’s eyes for a moment and you have a guess what he is thinking about. Landon seemed to like you, with his flirty smiles and friendly introduction, he was surely thinking about shooting his shot, but he might not know that you’re dating Harry.

However he doesn’t say anything, just continues to eat his lunch in silence and quite frankly, you forget about Landon’s existence pretty fast.

After lunch it gets a bit hectic. The ceremony is starting at 3, so you don’t have much time left. You do the first look reveal thing and this time their son, James is included in it, which is honestly such a pure moment and capturing it feels like a privilege.

Soon enough the guests are starting to arrive and you quickly run up to the room to change into your dress. Most of the time you are not required to dress up for the job, but you like to blend into the crowd so you usually choose to wear a nice dress and you’re doing the same this time as well. You’ve brought a pastel yellow satin dress that teases a little cleavage, and you pair it with a cream colored cardigan, creating a simple but still elegant look for the rest of the day. You’re fixing your makeup in a hurry when the door opens and Harry walks in.

He immediately stops in his tracks upon seeing you in front of the mirror, his eyes traveling down the lengths of your body, a stunned expression adorning his handsome features.

“Sorry, I didn’t know you were… in here,” he mumbles and you can see the blush forming on his cheeks. “You look… You look beautiful.”

“Thank you,” you chuckle softly. He takes a few steps closer to you and reaching up he brushes a loose strand of hair behind your ear, his fingers leaving a trail of delicate touch on the side of your face.

Leaning down his lips hover over yours for a moment, as if he was giving you the chance to pull back, but who are you to deny anything from Harry Styles? So when you stay in place, he finally presses his lips to yours in a slow and tender kiss filled with passion. His hands cup your face in his and you bring yours up to wrap around his wrists as you kiss him back, already craving more than just a kiss.

But it feels like you are not the only one growing hungrier with the seconds, one of Harry’s hands wander down to your butt and you feel his palm’s warmth through the thin layer of your dress, though you wish there was nothing between his skin and yours. When he starts kissing down your jawline and neck, pushing you backwards you hate to break the moment, but there’s no time for any funny business. So painfully, but you pull back, already missing his lips on yours.

“I would really love to continue this, but I need to be with Sarah in about three minutes,” you chuckle softly.

“Yeah, I need to get back to Mitch too,” he sighs, pecking the corner of your mouth before his arms fall from around you.

“I’ll see you later, yeah?” you smile up at him, fixing the collar of his shirt.

“Yeah,” he smiles with a boyish smile before you part ways again.

All through the ceremony you are kind of all over the place, trying to get the best shots, you don’t have much time to spare. Sarah’s entrance with her dad and James walking down the aisle is so beautiful and you get some amazing shots of Mitch’s emotions upon seeing his future wife. They tell their vows, touching every guest with their sweet words to each other and then they finally say ‘I do’ and become husband and wife.

You snap a series of photos of that moment as well, but then you allow yourself to peek over at Harry who is already watching you with a soft smile. You can feel yourself blushing, his gaze is warm but also quite intimidating in this sentimental moment.

And then the party finally starts. You try to follow the newly weds around as much as possible, but you also get around the tent, shooting pictures of the guests as well. You only get to have a few moments with Harry, because either you need to rush off or sometimes someone finds him and wants to have a few words. He is quite popular among the guests, but it’s no surprise. You’d want to have the chance to talk to him too if you saw him.

“Have you even had a bite yet?” A male voice calls out for you when you’re trying to sneak from one point to the other. Glancing over your shoulder you see Landon with a drink in his hand.

“I’ll eat later. The dance is about to happen so I need to be ready for that,” you smile at him.

“Mitch told me they found a really good photographer, but he surely forgot to mention how devoted you are. I’m excited to see the photos.”

“Thanks, I’m trying my best,” you chuckle.

“Save me a dance later?”

“Oh, um, sure,” you nod with a nervous chuckle. “But I really gotta go now,” you excuse yourself before he could even get another word out.

As you slalom between the tables you spot Harry sitting at one of them and he is staring at Landon from across the room, a not too friendly look plastered across his face. You wonder if he has seen you talking to him and now he is feeling jealous or if you’re just seeing things. But you don’t have much time to ponder on it, work is calling you.

As the happy couple share their first dance, soon enough more and more guests join them and you’re standing at the side, snapping the cute dance partners slow dancing to the music with Sarah and Mitch in the middle. You’re adjusting the settings on your camera, when a tall figure appears in front of you.

“May I have a dance?” Harry asks, holding out a hand for you like a true gentleman.

“Oh, I should—“

“If you are about to say you should be taking pictures, the bride told me to ask you,” he tells you with a soft chuckle and as your eyes fall on Sarah, she is smiling in your way happily, nodding her approval to get off duty for just a little.

“Then, I would love to,” you smile shyly, taking Harry’s hand as he takes you to the dance floor. Placing his hands to your waist he pulls you close to him while you rest your arms around his neck, swaying to the rhythm very gently.

“I always get a little emotional at weddings,” he confesses with a small smile.

“Yeah? Why?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugs. “I just… love seeing people in love. Especially when they are my friends,” he adds chuckling.

“It really is a nice thing.”

Harry pulls you tighter against him, his cheek pressing against the side of your head and you let your eyes fall closed for a few seconds, enjoying this moment with him. He starts to softly him the song and his voice flows through your ears smoothly, you’re in awe how good his voice is. He never told you he is a good singer too above being an amazing producer.

When the song ends some couples stay, but some make their way off the dance floor and you have to get back to your job as well. Leaning back you squeeze Harry’s arm as his hands fall from your frame too.

“Save a slice from the cake for me,” you smile at him and he nods with a smirk.

“I will. I’ll have it ready for you at the table.”

You place a short kiss to his cheek before you disappear from his sight, leaving him alone again.

The night carries on as usual, sometime after dinner your phone dies so you leave it on the charger up in your room before running back down. The party starts to unfold as the time passes, more drinks are being consumed and this is kind of your secret favorite part, because the more people drink, the more they are willing to pose for funny pictures. This is the time that births the best group photos, in your opinion.

Though you are having an amazing time, you can feel yourself growing tired. When it’s finally cake time you take some time off to sit with Harry who saved you a slice, just as you asked him. It’s nice to have a breather, just enjoy the evening with him by your side again.

“Mm, didn’t know you could eat icing without getting it all over my face,” you tease him, referring back to the time you made such a mess out of the kitchen when you tried to make cupcakes for him.

“Very funny,” he narrows his eyes at you, before dipping his finger into the icing and wiping it onto your nose.

“Hey!” you pout at him, cleaning it up, but he just smirks at you playfully before pecking your lips shortly. It’s the first time he is kissing you in with so many people around and it surely makes you giddy, knowing that he is not trying to hide you in any way.

Weddings are a lot of fun, but they always stretch so long. The party can last till the morning sometimes and you can’t just decide to call it a night and stop doing your job, you need to be there until the DJ shuts the music off and all guests disappear. And it seems like this wedding won’t be any shorter either.

It’s already past midnight when you decide to sneak out for a short break. You’ve been on your feet for way too long and you stole some food too. You hesitated if you should sit back to your table, but you felt like you could use some quiet so you left the tent and found a bench nearby.

As you sit and eat the food you snatched from the buffet table, you hope the party won’t last until the Sun comes up. You get so into your own little world that you almost don’t even notice the approaching tall figure.

“Having a break, huh?” Landon calls out as the gravel crunches under his fancy dress shoes.

“Ah, yeah. I needed a few minutes away from the music,” you chuckle softly. Landon stops in front of you and hides his hands in his pockets as he blinks down at you with tired looking eyes. It might be from the long night, but you are guessing the drinks he’s been consuming don’t help his energy either.

“May I say that you look really pretty? I haven’t been to many weddings yet, but the photographers went for the more comfortable look since they are not on the photos, but you chose to glam yourself.”

“Thanks,” you chuckle softly. “I like to blend into the guests.”

“Well, you don’t blend in this way either, because you look prettier than most women in that tent,” he compliments you and you’re starting to feel awkward. It’s not that you don’t like it when someone is talking highly of you, but it’s obvious what Landon wants and you are definitely not on the same page.

“Um, thank you.”

“I’m sorry if I come off too brash or pushy, but I promised myself I would never miss a chance to compliment a pretty woman when I see one.”

“That’s nice, but I’m afraid I’m not the right person to spend your energy on,” you answer with a tight-lipped smile. Landon narrows his eyes at you, but keeps his playful manner.

“So you don’t find me good-looking, is that it?” he teases and you shake your head with a soft chuckle.

“That’s not what I was talking about.”

“Then you like to break hearts, right? You must enjoy making men fall for you,” he carries on with his little joke and just as you’re about to speak up to tell him you are seeing someone, Harry’s familiar deep voice interrupts the conversation.

“There you are, I’ve been calling you.” He is talking to you, but his eyes are clearly glued to the man standing in front of you.

“Oh, my phone is in the room, I had to charge it,” you tell him.

“What are you guys doing out here?” he asks, clearly not liking the situation, you and Landon alone outside with no one else around. Jealousy is dripping from his eyes that appear so much darker now in the dim lighting.

“I’ve been dumped by this amazing woman right here,” Landon sighs dramatically and Harry cocks an eyebrow at him before glancing over at you.

“Oh, is that so?”

“Yeah, she is clearly not interested in me, my charm didn’t work on her,” he laughs lightheartedly.

“I hope it didn’t because she is my girlfriend,” Harry answers simply and your lips part at what he just called you.

Landon stumbles back, his smile quickly vanishes from his face as he stares back at Harry. You feel like you’re watching some kind of documentary movie where male animals are trying to win over the female, only that Landon stands no chance in this situation, but you find it quite funny.

“Man, I-I’m sorry, I didn’t—I didn’t know!” he apologizes right away as he realizes why Harry has been kind of spicy around him. Landon then faces you. “Y/N, I didn’t mean to make it awkward and all that, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine,” you smile at him nicely. He mumbles something about checking up on Mitch before walking away, leaving you and Harry alone. He joins you on the bench, staring after Landon for a few moments before turning to face you. A much softer expression is showing on his face this time.

“So, you just called me your girlfriend,” you point out, trying your best to hold your growing smirk back.

“I, uhh—I did, didn’t I?” he chuckles nervously. “I’m sorry, it just slipped out, because I didn’t like how Landon was trying to chat you up all night…”

“So you didn’t…. You didn’t mean it?” you ask, furrowing your eyebrows, feeling yourself growing disappointed.

“Well, I… I mean, I didn’t mean to say it like that, without discussing it with you, but… I would love to call you my girlfriend,” he admits shyly and you can’t believe that this nervous man next to you is the same man who owns a record label and manages his million dollars business every day without a problem.

“I like the sound of that,” you smirk, leaning closer to him so your noses are almost touching.

“Yeah?” he smiles, a lot more relieved and playfully than he was a moment ago.

“Mhm,” you nod, biting your lip. You blindly put your plate to the side before cupping his face in both of your hands and pulling him in for a kiss, your first one as boyfriend and girlfriend. Part of you feels silly that it makes you so ecstatic, like you’re a high school girl, but in this moment you couldn’t care less.

What starts as a sweet and innocent kiss quickly turns into something more, something heated. When Harry’s hands find your bare thighs and they slightly slide under your dress you can’t help but yearn for more, pulling him closer as your tongues meet. Your fingers lace through his curls, tugging on them gently and you’re fighting the urge to throw a leg over him and just sit on his lap straddling him. When he starts kissing down your jawline and neck, you have to stop him for the second time today, not that you wanted to do it anytime, but the time and place hasn’t been right.

“We can’t…” you sigh, pulling back even though every fiber in your body is telling you otherwise. Harry lets out a long sigh, nodding his head.

“Yeah, I know.”

“But hopefully, the party will end soon and then we will be all alone in our room,” you smirk at him slyly and it brings back the shine into his eyes.

“I can’t wait,” he mumbles before kissing you one last time.

From that moment, Harry lingers around you at all times for the rest of the night. He is always either right by your side, or within a few feet away from you, keeping an eye on you, but not in an obsessive and intrusive kind of way. His eyes are filled with lust every time you share a look at each other and you can tell he can’t wait for the party to finally be over. Whenever he is next to you, he makes sure to touch you in any kind of way. Placing his palm to the small of your back, your arm or your hips, or when you sit next to each other he rests his hand on your thigh or knee without hesitation. And you are loving all the affection you are being showered with.

By the time the wedding officially ends and you can finally call it a night, you are both touch starved and hungry for each other. Harry pulls you against him on the stairs up to your room, not even giving a damn that you are still out in the public. His mouth attacks you hungrily, kissing you anywhere he can reach as the two of you stumble up your way to the room.

Pushing the door open you basically fall inside, giggling against Harry’s lips as he shuts the door closed and presses you up against it, making you gasp at the action. He is so much more demanding and confident than the last time you shared an intimate moment and though you’re not sure how far he is planning to go, you know you are ready to give him anything he desires.

“As much as I love this dress on you, it needs to go,” he playfully smirks as his hands bunch your dress up on your thigh before grabbing it and pulling it off your body, leaving you only in your underwear so fast.

Your lips find his as your fingers work fast on the buttons of his shirt while you inch further into the room towards the bed. You both kick your shoes off on the way and when you fall to the mattress Harry’s shirt is already gone. He climbs above you as you sink into the way too many pillows and you blindly throw a few off the bed to give you more space. Harry licks into your mouth one last time before he moves down your neck and collarbones, peppering your heated skin with his kisses, his hands already sliding under your back to unclasp your bra. Arching your back you give him space to do the task on hand and a few moments later you are lying under him with your chest completely bare. His name falls from your lips as a whimper when his mouth comes in contact with your left nipple, kissing, licking and sucking on it while his hand kneads your other breast before he switches, giving both sides the same amount of attention. Your fingers lace through his unruly curls as you enjoy his touch that’s burning and soothing at the same time.

When he kisses down your stomach and hips, he hooks his fingers into your lacy underwear, but stop before doing anything, looking up at you for reassurance. You give him the green light by nodding and he carefully pulls the fabric off your body, baring you in front of his eyes completely. His kisses pepper his way up your inner thighs until he finally reaches your dripping wet core.

“Harry!” you moan when his tongue and lips press against your clit, swirling and sucking on it just right, making you shiver under his touch. He curls his arms around your legs, keeping them in place as he keeps working his magic, making you a whimpering mess with each lick.

He does the same thing as last time, teases you with his finger dancing around your entrance until you are basically ready to beg him for more. Then he finally pushes two fingers inside you and starts pumping in a slow pace that drives you nuts, leaving you ache for more of him.

You pull him up before he could get you to the top, because that’s not how you want it now and you need to know if he is ready to take this step with you. He understands what you want from just a look as he hovers above you and you cup his face in your hands tenderly.

“I want it,” he breathes out and you could come just from those three words.

“Are you sure?” you ask, though you just want to jump right at it already. Still, you want to make sure he is completely fine with everything that’s about to happen.

“Yeah. I am,” he nods before leaning down he presses his lips against yours.

Your hands reach down and undo his pants, pushing them down along with his boxers before he does the rest of the job kicking them off. His erection presses up against your thigh as his hips fall down a bit and you moan with just the feeling of him on your skin. Wrapping your hands around his shaft you start pumping him while your kiss never breaks.

“Oh fuck,” he moans in sensation and you grin against his lips, enjoying the thought that you are the one making him feel this good.

“Do you have a condom?” you breathe out.”

“Shit, I don’t…”

“It’s alright, I have one.” You sneak out from under him and rush over to your bag to look for your toiletries, you know you have one somewhere in there. When you finally find the little package you quickly get back to the bed where Harry is now lying on his back. Kneeling next to him you give him a soft, reassuring look.

“Do you want me to…?” you imply, holding up the foil.

“Oh, um, yeah, sure,” he nods and you swear you see him blushing. Ripping the package open you lean closer and roll the condom down his hard length before throwing a leg over his lap and get back to kissing him. You take your time with him, running your hands up and down his toned, inked chest as his palms warm the skin on your waist while your lips move together in sync perfectly. You could tell he needed a moment to get settled and wrap his mind around what’s really about to happen.

“Everything alright?” you ask, a little out of breath as you hold yourself up above him. He nods shortly. “Do you want me on top or you want to switch?”

“C-can you stay on top for now?”

“Yeah,” you smile at him warmly, before capturing his lips in a sweet kiss while your right hand wanders down his body until you reach his hard cock. Harry whimpers against your lips when you wrap your hand around the base, lining him up with yourself.

“Tell me if you want to stop, alright?” you ask him and in any other situation you’d find it a little funny that it’s you asking him that, usually this request comes from the guy, but you just want to make sure he is comfortable with everything that’s happening. Harry nods again and as he gulps hard his Adam’s apple bops up and down. Leaning down you kiss him again as you slowly ease down yourself just enough so that the head of his cock slides inside you. You stop, giving both him and you the chance to get accustomed to the feeling. It’s been quite some time for you as well, and your fingers do not compare to Harry’s size, that’s for sure.

He keeps one hand on your hip while the other reaches up and cups the side of your head, panting against your lips from the feeling of finally being inside you. Once you’ve made sure you both adjusted to the feeling, you allow yourself to sink further down until his whole length disappears inside you. You stay still, shutting your eyes closed as you let your walls stretch around his erection, making that slight pain you feel go away. Adding the length and thickness of his cock to the long drought you’ve had in the field of sex is making it feel like you are having your first time again in a way. It’s not that awkward and definitely not that painful, but still, that’s what it reminds you of.

“Are you good?” he asks, squeezing your hip gently. Your eyes snap open and meet his green ones that are now clouded with a little bit of worry.

“Yeah, it’s just… You’re big, Harry,” you admit with a soft chuckle that brings a cocky grin to his lips as well. “Just give me a moment.”

He just nods again and both his hands start running up and down your sides reassuringly as you take a few seconds to yourself before you start moving your hips. You start off slowly, dragging your movements out, trying to see what feels the best and judging from Harry’s moans and grunts he is enjoying himself no matter what you do. Your hands sprawl out on his chest, fingers digging into his skin as you lean onto him while starting to move up and down his throbbing cock.

“Fuck, you feel so good!” he whimpers, almost as if he was in pain, but you can see the pleasure in his eyes.

Your thighs start to burn, but you keep moving yourself, not wanting to stop, because you’re feeling your orgasm building up inside you. When he starts thrusting up to meet your movements, you moan his name so loudly there’s a chance the people next door heard you, but you couldn’t care about that now.

Harry might have noticed that you’re starting to get tired, so pushing himself up he wraps his arms around you and turns you over until you’re the one lying on the bed and he holds himself up above you on his arms. Your legs circle around his waist as he starts moving in and out of you, the new position making you both moan and gasp at the sensation.

“Harry!” you whine as he keeps hitting that one spot inside you, pushing you closer to the edge dangerously fast.

“Am I making you feel good, baby? You like it?”

“You’re making me feel so good, please don’t stop!” you beg him as he buries his face in your neck, sucking on the soft skin, most definitely leaving a mark on you that you’ll wear proudly tomorrow. You would never want to hide the fact how good Harry fucked you, let the world know that your boyfriend made you feel so amazing!

“Oh my God, I’m getting close. Are you feeling it too? Are you gonna cum for me, baby?” he asks, his lips brushing against your earlobe. Grabbing his face you pull him into a kiss, pushing your tongue into his mouth mercilessly and the grunt he lets out is making your insides tremble. It’s animalistic, so passionate and sexual, you want to hear this every day for the rest of your life.

“I’m close, go a little harder, Harry!” you plead and he does as you asked without hesitation, his hips slamming harder against you, making you gasp for air as your head sinks into the pillow, your back arching in pleasure.

“Cum for me, Y/N. Let it go!”

“Harry!” you whine, as you can feel your orgasm threatening to burst inside you any moment.

“Say my name when you cum, I want to hear who’s making you feel so good, baby!”

Your fingers dig into his hair as you chant his name over and over again with each thrust he makes and then your release finally arrives. You moan and whimper, shaking under his naked, sweaty body, his name falling from your lips as an endless glorification. Your walls clench around his cock and it’s the last straw for him as well, his thrusts become sloppy and uncoordinated as he cries out your name, his hips slamming hard against you while he rides his orgasm out. Reaching down you drag your nails down his back until you reach his perfectly round ass, giving it a cheeky squeeze while he buries his head into the crook of your neck, thrusting into you a few more times before coming to a stop.

Turning your head you kiss his temple, running your hands up and down his back while you both try to catch your breath, coming off your high. Soon Harry pulls out and rolls off of you, his body smashing into the mattress beside you, his face glowing from that post sex euphoria. After a few moments of just panting and blinking into the void you finally feel yourself returning to reality and rolling to your side you cuddle to Harry’s body, his arm instantly coming to circle around you.

“Everything alright?” you softly ask, placing a tender kiss to his chest under one of his swallow tattoos. The last thing you want is to have him freak out now that the deed has been done, but when he gifts you with a tired but genuine smile, your worries vanish into thin air.

“Yeah. I’m all good. More than good,” he chuckles before lifting his head and placing a soft kiss to your forehead. His fingers are dancing up and down your naked back, following the line of your spine and your ribs, his smoothing touch already working as a lullaby on you, but you’re determined to stay awake just a little longer.

“Are you turned on by hearing your own name during sex?” you tease him with a sly smile as you think back to how much he enjoyed you scream his name over and over again.

“I might have a bit of a praise kink,” he admits truthfully with a smirk.

“Mm, interesting.”

“What’s yours?”

“What do you like during sex?”

“You, balls deep inside me,” you bluntly answer, making him laugh at your words. “And I like doggy,” you then add to actually answer his question.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, and maybe some hair pulling. Not in an extreme way, but I like a little.” “Alright, noted,” he hums nodding.

You both clean yourselves up in the bathroom, moving around each other naked without any shame. Harry then puts on a pair of clean boxers and you change into your night clothes, though the moment you make yourself comfortable in Harry’s arms in bed his hand sneaks up your back under the shirt, tugging the material up. You could have just stayed shirtless, but now you’re too tired to even move. His fingers are drawing little patterns over your skin as you listen to his steady breathing before drifting off to sleep.

Sunday feels like a day after a sleepover in high school, when you’re thinking about everything that has happened the day before, and you’re so happy it happened but you’re kind of tired and just want the comfort of your home already.

Sarah and Mitch leave for their honeymoon early in the morning. You say goodbye and Sarah just keeps thanking you for your work even though she hasn’t even seen the picture yet.

“But I’m sure they are amazing! Can’t wait to see them!” she beams at you when you try to tell her to just wait for the actual outcome.

You leave the inn a little before noon heading to Anne’s to pick Izzy up. You have lunch somewhere on the road and then you sing along to the music in the car, enjoying yet another roadtrip together, making the best out of your last minutes alone. You’re happy to see that Harry hasn’t seemed to spiral after what happened last night, he seems delighted and pleased, maybe even excited. Driving down the highway he keeps a hand on your thigh whenever he doesn’t need to use it on the shifting gear and every time he reaches for you, it turns you into a giddy little girl.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Izzy chants upon running into Harry’s arms the moment you park down on Anne’s driveway. Apparently, she’s been sitting by the window for an hour, waiting for her dad to finally arrive.

“Oh, I missed you so much, baby!” Harry cheers, catching the running girl and lifting her up into his arms, hugging her close. It’s such a sweet sight, seeing the two purest people you know be so happy to see each other after a week spent apart.

“I missed you too!” Izzy sighs, wrapping her short arms around Harry’s neck, nuzzling into her daddy’s embrace and your heart is fluttering in your chest for sure.

Anne invites the two of you inside for a tea, Harry helps Izzy pack all her stuff while she is nonstop blabbering about everything she did with her grandma during the week, and Harry listens to her intently, even though she already shared everything with him on the phone when he called every night.

“How did the wedding go?” Anne asks you cheerfully as you help her in the kitchen.

“Oh, it was amazing! Sarah looked so beautiful and everything went smoothly.”

“That’s great, they are such a cute couple!”

Anne is quick to ask you about photography, how long you’ve been doing it and you even show her a few of your works seeing how enthusiastic she is about the whole thing. You were a little nervous about meeting her, but she is just as sweet and kind as her son, making it so easy to treat her just as a friend, not as the mother of your boyfriend.

Before leaving Izzy insists on showing you all the paintings she made for Anne this week, she has them on the wall in her little home office. While you’re shown around in Izzy’s personal gallery, Harry joins his mother downstairs, finishing up his tea.

“I assume the weekend went well, you two are glowing,” she smiles slyly at him and Harry can’t hide his boyish smile.

“I uhh… I asked her to be my girlfriend,” he admits and Anne gasps happily, thrilled about the news.

“I’m so happy for you, Har. I think she is a really good match for you!” she beams, pulling him into a motherly hug, kissing his cheek as if he was just a little boy, not a grown man.

“Thanks, mum. I’m happy too.” “You deserve it. It’s so good to see you living your life again.” Soon enough, Harry loads the car with Izzy’s stuff and it’s time to say goodbye.

“Bye Anne, it was so nice to see you!” you smile hugging her.

“Come back soon, Darling! Nag this old man to visit me more often!” Anne jokes giving Harry a playful look who leaves her comment unnoticed, giving his mother a tight hug.

“Thank you for everything mum, love you, I’ll call you alright?”

“Drive safe!” she calls after you all as you get into the car and wave her goodbye leaving.

The drive home tired Izzy out, or maybe it’s just the change of settings again. Whatever it is, she can barely stay awake until dinner, so once her tummy is filled Harry decides to put her to sleep early.

Izzy asks Harry to lie in bed with her as he reads her a bedtime story, she is extra clingy now that she is back with her daddy, but Harry is enjoying having his little one back so he doesn’t mind it. Izzy snuggles to his side, playing with the ears of the bunny she chose to sleep with tonight as she listens to his steady, smooth voice talk her to sleep.

“Daddy?” she asks quietly, already half asleep.

“Yes, baby?”

“Are you going to marry Y/N?”

The question catches him off-guard, he was definitely not expecting it especially since Izzy hasn’t even seen the two of you kiss yet.

“Why are you asking?”

“My new friend, Loretta from the park told me that if a boy and a girl live together they are probably in love and want to get married.”

“Loretta seems to know a lot about adult stuff,” Harry chuckles softly. “Well, it doesn’t exactly work like that, Iz. But… would you be happy if I told you Y/N is now my girlfriend?” he asks, feeling a little nervous, as if Izzy’s word on the question could destroy any possible future between the two of you. She stays silent for a few seconds and Harry starts to think she has fallen asleep, but then she finally speaks up again.

“Did you kiss her?” she asks and Harry can’t push down a soft chuckle. Izzy’s idea of relationships probably doesn’t go further than kissing and holding hands so this is how she is trying to put the picture together in her head.

“I did, yes.”

“Oh!” she exclaims. “I like Y/N.”

“Well, I like her too.”

“She can be your girlfriend,” she then replies, giving her blessing. “Are you going to get married?”

“Um, not for a while, no. But… it could happen if things go right,” he chews on his bottom lip, he is definitely not in the phase of thinking about marriage yet, not just because you barely just became an official couple, but that would be a huge step in his way of processing the end of his last one.

“Okay,” Izzy simply nods and that brings the end of the discussion. Harry has been a little nervous to have this talk with Izzy, he was afraid she might get a little confused about the idea of him having a girlfriend and the thought of her mother, but she seemingly didn’t even bring Maggie into her train of thoughts. Luckily.

When Izzy is finally asleep he closes the door and makes his way downstairs where you’re lying on the couch, watching the rerun of the news. You smile up at him upon his arrival and as he joins you on the couch, he is quick to pull you into his arms, making you snuggle into his embrace.

“I just told Izzy that you are my girlfriend,” he confesses and you lift your head up, not even trying to hide your surprised expression.

“Really? And what did she say?”

“Well, she asked if we are getting married,” he tells you chuckling shortly. “I told her that we shouldn’t get that far ahead. But she basically gave her blessing. She said she likes you.”

“Well I was hoping she doesn’t hate my guts after spending almost every day with me,” you chuckle, making him smile too. “But I’m happy she likes the idea of us.”

“Yeah, me too,” Harry nods before pulling you closer for a sweet, innocent kiss.

You finally get around to have that double date with Heather and Niall one month into your relationship. Harry’s weekends have been a little busy these past weeks, he had to go into the office on a few Saturdays, but now he has finally finished a huge project he has been working on so he can actually take some time off.

Ruth comes over to look after Izzy that evening and she keeps looking at you and Harry like a proud grandparent whenever she sees the two of you interact as a couple. Little touches and kisses have been more regular around home ever since Harry told Izzy that you are together. So far, she’s been handling it really well, she doesn’t seem to be confused about you and her mother and it might be because Harry has had a talk with her recently about her mother and where she really is now. His therapist suggested to be open about it with her as early as possible, and though she doesn’t seem to completely understand the idea of life and death just yet, she has definitely started to put the picture together in her head.

You’ve been spending all your nights at Harry’s room, so by now your bedroom is more like an office space for you and a storage for all your stuff, a place where you can be alone whenever you have some editing to do or just simply need some time on your own. Luckily, Harry totally understands the feeling of needing some space, he has his own limits as well and the two of you have been trying your best to coordinate around these lines when it comes to your relationship. After all, it’s been a pretty unusual situation, you were already living together when you became a couple, jumping a few steps in the timeline of a regular relationship.

Just as you were expecting it, Niall and Heather hit it off quite fast upon meeting at the dinner. Niall is in awe of Heather’s confidence and raw sense of humor that matches perfectly with his, while Heather finds him entertaining and somewhat like a challenge, since you honestly told her about Niall’s reputation as a womanizer, but it’s not something that could scare her away.

“He is cute, desperately wants to prove how good he is doing on his own, but I think that’s just a façade,” Heather tells you when you ask her about her date in the restroom. She fixes up her lipstick, staring at herself in the floor to ceiling mirror.

“So you think you want to see him again?”

“I’m not gonna run after him, if he asks for my number I’ll give it to him. But if he doesn’t, I won’t let him see my disappointment.”

“And what if he asks you to go home with him tonight?” you ask, feeling like teenagers gossiping in the girls restroom between classes. Heather smirks at you through the mirror before turning to face you.

“Oh, I’m not going home with him. That would bruise his ego so badly he won’t be able to think about anything else.”

You stare back at her stunned from how big of a genius she is. You would have never schemed like this when it came to men, but yet again, you never really needed to. Before Harry you were busy with Keith and that relationship came so easily to you. There were never really games, it took you about three weeks to get together. But Heather is a player and a very good one, apparently.

“You two look cute, by the way,” she smiles at you quickly washing her hands before the two of you head out, back to the table.

“Thanks,” you blush, eyes finding the guys sitting right where you left them.

After dinner you decide to stay for a few drinks at the bar a corner away and it’s been so long since the last time you were out just having fun, enjoying some time with good friends. If someone told you a few months ago that you’d be sitting here, sipping on a cocktail with Harry who is now your boyfriend, you would have laughed hysterically.

When Harry reaches for you thigh under the table, resting his palm on it, giving it a gentle squeeze just as a sweet gesture, you glance at him and he smiles at you as his eyes meet your gaze. It’s the first time you actually feel like any other couples. Having a nice evening with your friends, touching each other, holding hands, simply living in the moment knowing well that going home he will probably sneak into Izzy’s room, pressing a kiss to her forehead before joining you in bed, falling asleep with his arms curled around your figure.

It’s no surprise when Niall invited Heather over his place for another drink at the end of the night and you can barely hold your smirk back when she refuses and his face completely falls, especially because he was so confident in himself, the evening went well and he was probably sure she would say yes. Instead, she grabs herself a taxi and heads home upon parting ways. Niall is shocked, but he is quick to ask for Heather’s number from you before you say goodbye and you happily give it to him.

On the way home you think about how weird it is that you are still basically working for him. It’s not that you mind being the one who is looking after Izzy, it doesn’t even feel like a job, she has grown so close to you. It’s about getting paid for it when you’re Harry’s girlfriend and even though you know how untraditional everything has been with the two of you, now might be the time to make a change.

Harry checks up on Izzy while you get ready to bed and he joins you under the covers soon. Your thoughts about your possible quitting keep racing in your head and you decide to bring it up, just to see how he sees the situation.

“H?” you softly ask while he is checking a few things on his phone, propped up against the headboard.

“Yeah?” he glances at you, letting you know he is listening.

“Don’t you think it’s weird I’m still working for you?”

He stops and locking his phone he puts it to the nightstand to fully focus on the conversation. He just stares at you for a few seconds before knitting his eyebrows together, that crease between them making an appearance and you fight the urge to smooth it out with your finger.

“You don’t like taking care of her anymore?” Your stomach drops at the way he interpreted your question, because it’s not at all the situation.

“Harry, I love taking care of her!” you smile at him softly and can see the relief in his eyes. “It’s just a little weird that you’re paying me to be with her. I would do it for free,” you explain, hoping he now gets the whole picture.

“Oh!”

“Are you… Are you planning for the long run? With us?”

“Of course,” he nods and now you’re the one relieved at how naturally the answer came to him.

“Then maybe we should look for a solution that doesn’t make me feel like I’m a kept house woman,” you chuckle softly and a small smile tugs on his lips as well.

“What were you thinking about?” Sighing you bite into your bottom lip, not sure what he’ll think about the idea that came to you.

“I’ve been getting a lot of requests for photoshoots. I thought that maybe I could take two more days out of the week to work on them and stay home with Izzy for the rest of them. We could look for a nanny for those days. They wouldn’t have to move in, because I would be home by three probably. I think… I think it could work pretty well.”

Harry takes a few moments to think it through and you know he has to be considerate, the only reason he was so quick to hire you was because Izzy already knew and loved you. Bringing a stranger into the picture is a big change and everyone has to be fine with it to make it work.

“Would that make you happy? Staying home for half of the week with Izzy? I wouldn’t want to ask you to sacrifice your time for her… for us, if it doesn’t benefit you.”

For a few moments you’re just processing his words, but then you finally understand what he meant by that. He is thinking you might take it as if he is using you to take care of his daughter and he doesn’t want you to take responsibility for her if it’s not what you really want. But you see being in Izzy’s life as a privilege, you haven’t truly processed it yourself, but you start to look at her as your own daughter. Having spent the majority of your days with her these past months, it was inevitable to grow so fond of her.

Scooting closer to him you cup his face in your hands as you smile down at him softly, his green irises filled with worry and doubts, probably thinking that he is doing something wrong again, but he is not. He needs to have more trust in himself.

“I would love it, Harry. I love spending time with her and… with you,” you admit and there’s one thing that you’re aching to add.

And I love you.

But you keep that one back, not sure if he is ready to hear it just yet. It’s still so early in your relationship, and it might feel like a bomb if you just dropped it on him. You need to be a little more patient before taking this next step.

Bringing his arms around you he pulls you to his chest, a deep but happy sigh leaving through his nose as he kisses into your hair. Nothing else is said, but no words are needed. It’s been settled that you both are planning for the long run together and you’ll start to alter your life to make it fit into the picture.

You don’t jump into it right away, but a few weeks after the discussion you had about hiring a new nanny, you take the first step. Ruth agrees to cover one day every week, Fridays, so you can have it off for your sessions. Summer brings a lot of events and occasions and your calendar has been getting busier as your circle of customers has been growing lately. Though Ruth is more than happy to spend some more time with Izzy, you all know she won’t be able to do it too long, you need to find someone at last by the end of the summer.

Harry would never admit, but he is very anxious about bringing a new person into Izzy’s life. He is not the toxic kind of parent who wouldn’t let anyone get near his daughter, but he surely is considerate about who he lets to take care of her and it’s understandable.

On an afternoon spent at the park you are chatting with Ava, Yara’s mom when she mentions a nanny agency they’ve tried out before and had a really good experience.

“They hire people with at least three years of experience and many of their nannies have a degree in some kind of field in connection with child care. We had a nice girl from Russia watch after Yara, she is a primary school teacher but she moved here with her boyfriend for a year. She was amazing, really. Yara loved her, Saige and I loved her, it was a good match.”

She gives you a phone number and later that day you look up the agency, presenting the idea to Harry, who seems interested, but a little hesitant.

“We could still have an interview with them, right? Or I would have to just choose someone from the website like from a catalogue?” he voices his concern as the two of you lie in bed with your laptop propped against your thighs.

“I’m sure we can have an interview,” you smile at him.

Harry just nods, ergo he doesn’t reject the idea, but you can tell he has quite a few doubts about it, but there’s not much you can do.

In the course of three weeks you and Harry have five interviews with nannies that the agency sent and at the end of the day, Harry finds something wrong with all of them, even though they are only minor things.

“You rule out people for the tiniest things, Harry,” you sigh after the fifth interview with a kind middle-aged woman, Kaitlyn. “Based on these interviews you wouldn’t have hired me back in the days,” you joke.

“You know it was different with you,” he points it out and you just nod. He has told you so many times how you were just the perfect fit which is very charming, but it doesn’t help the situation on hand right now.

That evening, when you’re lying in bed, reading, while Harry checks up on Izzy one last time, you see that something is on his chest when he walks in and as soon as he is under the covers next to you, but you don’t ask him, instead just wait for him to bring it up himself.

“Y/N, I’m sorry for being such a pain in the ass about the whole nanny thing,” he sighs tiredly. Closing your book you place it on the nightstand before turning to face him fully.

“You’re not a pain in the ass, just very careful and maybe a little picky,” you add with a soft chuckle.

“Do you think I should be the one staying home with her?”

“Most kids spend the majority of their days separated from their parents in daycare, kindergarten or preschool. It’s not a crime that you are not a stay at home dad, not many like to do that or even fit for that role,” you shrug and it’s your genuine opinion. Just because parents don’t devote one hundred percent of their life to their children, it doesn’t make them bad. Parents deserve to be selfish sometimes.

“I just… I can get so into my head about everything I do wrong,” he sighs, closing his eyes and he seem so tired all of a sudden, like he has been carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Brushing his hair out of his forehead you kiss him gently before his eyes open again.

“You’re not doing anything wrong, Harry. Believe me, Izzy is having the best childhood she could ever wish for. She is secure, loved and taken care of. Everything is going well.” He doesn’t answer, just nods as his arms wrap around you, pulling you to his chest and you gladly snuggle into his embrace.

That evening it felt like Harry was shifting in the right direction, but you can never know what really goes on in someone’s head and you couldn’t see what was coming.

A few days later another candidate comes for an interview, you, Harry and the young girl called Rachel sit outside at the terrace as Harry goes through the same questions he asked every other applicant while Izzy is playing around the swing set.

Rachel just finished her bachelor’s and is now taking a gap year before moving back to her hometown to work at her father’s law firm. She grew up with three younger sisters and took care of them most of the time to help her parents out who worked a lot. She is nice, very well educated and it’s clear she is great with children. Yet again, when you glance at Harry you don’t see him as satisfied as you are and you already know he is going to find something against her.

“Alright, so what is it this time?” you sigh once Rachel is gone and you can finally talk openly about her.

“She basically doesn’t have any official knowledge about kids, she just grew up with kids, that doesn’t qualify her as a professional.”

“Raising children is the best knowledge you can get, Harry,” you argue, feeling a little impatient this time. Rachel is perfect for the job, but any other applicants would have been fine too. You’re running out of time and Ruth won’t be able to help much longer.

“I would just be a lot more comfortable if it was a professional staying home with my daughter,” he answers, marching into the kitchen and you follow him.

“There were plenty of professionals between the previous ones as well. You are ruling everyone out!”

“I’m not ruling them out, I’m just trying to make the best decision for my child!”

“By being absolutely insatiable?!”

“Why is it so bad that I want the best choice?” he growls throwing his hands into the air.

“It’s not, but the best choice is not always one without any flaws, Harry,” you point it out, hoping he gets what you’re talking about.

“But I want this to be flawless!” he snaps and you can see that he has lost his patience at this point, but so did you. “I’m not settling for less than what I want, Y/N!”

“So then what? You lied when we talked about all of this? Because without a replacement, I can’t start working more!”

“I didn’t fucking lie, I’m just asking for more time!”

“Well it seems like you just want to push me into changing my mind about switching jobs and eventually say that I’m staying home, taking the blame off of you!”

“I’m not pushing you into anything, Y/N. We still have time until the end of summer, I just want to find the perfect person, give me some time!”

“Harry, there won’t be a perfect person!” you raise your voice, done with running the same circles at this point. “Any of the previous applicants would have taken good care of Izzy, why are you ignoring it?!”

“Stop telling me what to do when it comes to Izzy!” he then snaps, his voice beaming through the room, taking you by surprise. But what he says after this is what really hits you hard in the chest. “She is my daughter, not yours!”

Part of you knows he didn’t mean it the way it came out. Like you had absolutely no relations to Izzy, like you weren’t partially raising her way before you got together with Harry. You can see that it just slipped out in the heat of the moment, but your anger is making you selfish and not care about that anymore. His words hurt and you’ve stopped making excuses for him.

“Yeah, you’re right. Why am I still even here?” you calmly ask before simply turning around and heading out.

The calm but warning tone snaps him out and he is quick to realize he has crossed a line. He launches after you and almost catches you in the hallway when Izzy runs inside, calling out for him.

“Daddy! Daddy!”

Harry stops and turns around to see if she is alright and it gives you just enough time to escape. You rush out of the house and throw yourself into your car, igniting it and driving away as Harry shows up at the front door, calling after you, but you ignore it, making your way to your mom’s. You need a familiar place to calm yourself down at.

Harry tries to call you several times, and though the first few times it rings out, you send his calls to voicemail almost immediately after a while.

“Damn it,” he growls after another failed attempt to reach you. It’s been almost an hour since you stormed out and he is losing his mind, not knowing where you are, especially after what he said.

He regretted it the moment the words fell from his lips, but he knew it was too late. He let his anger bring the worst out of him and it all crashed down on you when you didn’t deserve any of it. Harry knows you’re right, he’s been trying to find something bad about every applicant because… part of him thinks that he is a bad father for not being the one taking care of Izzy all the time. If it wasn’t enough already, he’s been feeling like a failure for years… ever since he lost his wife because he wasn’t ready to commit more time for his family. He’s been dealing with the thought of being the worst father for so long, sometimes he convinces himself it’s the truth.

If I was ready for another baby, Maggie wouldn’t have had to die. If I put my family first, she would still be alive, he tells himself often when he is feeling the darkness clouding over his mind. Little does he know that it’s all just in his head. It doesn’t make him a bad father that he wanted to wait a little longer before having another baby. He never put his work above his family, he was always there when he was needed and made sure his loved ones are safe and taken care of. Never in his life did he ever put his work before Izzy or Maggie or anyone in his life he cared about.

But sometimes, your mind can play dirty tricks on you. And Harry fell for them.

As time is passing by he is growing more and more anxious when he doesn’t hear from you. No calls, no texts, he has no idea where you went or when you’re coming back. Sitting on the edge of the bed he stares out the window blankly before his eyes wander to the side where you usually sleep and it hits him hard when he realizes how eerily similar the situation is.

Following a fight his lover runs away, doesn’t answer his calls and he can’t get a hold of her. It’s like history is repeating itself all over again and as realization creeps up his spine, his throat tightens and he gasps, tears flooding into his eyes. With shaky hands he grabs his phone and dials Niall’s number, hoping he is not out somewhere at a bar, ignoring his phone.

“What’s up?” he answers the phone delightfully.

“Call Heather now and ask if she knows Y/N’s mom’s address,” he snaps immediately frantically.

“Woah, what happened?”

“Niall! Just do what I asked!” he barks and ends the call, giving his friend the chance to obey. Luckily, Niall feels the seriousness of the situation and does as Harry asked. A few minutes later a text arrives to Harry’s phone with the address.

Putting Izzy into the car he speeds down the streets to Gemma’s house who is shocked to see her brother in this state, but she doesn’t have the chance to ask anything as Harry drops Izzy off and asks her to watch her for the night.

“Okay, yeah, but—“

“Not now, Gemma!” he calls back, already running back to his car, heading to your mother’s house where you sought comfort following the fight.

“Not that I don’t like having you here, but you really should go home and talk it out.” Trevor joins you outside where you’ve been sitting on the steps of the terrace, staring out into the darkening sky. It’s been a few hours since you basically ran away from home and Harry has been blowing your phone up so you put it into airplane mode, sending all his calls to voicemail until you feel like dealing with him.

Trevor sits beside you, his long legs coming up closer to his chest as he sits the same way as you, his arms hug his knees.

“I know, I just… I’m a little tired,” you mumble.

“You don’t have to discuss it, but Harry would want you home for the night, don’t you think?”

“Yeah,” you nod breathing out. “Do you think I overreacted?” you ask him, feeling unsure about the way you acted. Was it too much? Did you have the right to do it? You’re not so sure about it anymore.

“Well, he didn’t lie about Izzy not being your daughter,” Trevor huffs. “Though he could have handled the situation better. I get it that he just wants what’s best for her, but you were right too.”

Sitting in silence Trevor doesn’t try to convince you to apologize or keep holding a grudge. He just lets you figure it out all by yourself.

Not long later you go back inside and grabbing your phone from the dining table you decide to turn it back on, missed calls and texts flooding the device, but for your biggest surprise, not just from Harry.

Heather: Niall just called me to get your mom’s address urgently, everything alright?!

“Oh shit,” you gasp, typing a quick reply to assure her that you’re fine and then you open Harry’s text seeing how frantic he grew over time and you realize what it must feel like to him. The situation is way too similar to the way he lost Maggie and though you didn’t mean to hurt him by putting him through it again, it’s already too late.

Just as you are about to call him to let him know you’re fine a car pulls up on the drive way and you know it’s him. You rush out the front door the moment he jumps out of the car, eyes wide, chest heaving as he finally lays his eyes on you.

“Oh my God!” he breaks down in tears as you smash against him, wrapping him in your arms, he does the same, his strong arms circling around your waist tightly as he sobs into your chest painfully.

“I’m fine, everything is alright. I’m fine. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for running away like that,” you mumble, kissing the side of his head, holding him for dear life.

“I was so scared it happened again!” he whimpers, his whole body shaking. You slowly start pulling him until you reach the little front porch where there is a small bench kept next to the front door. You sit and pull him with yourself, he doesn’t even loosens his hold around you, as if you would turn to dust if he lets go of you.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think it through,” you hum, fingers combing through his hair as you try to calm him down. He is still shaking, but his sobs are starting to die down finally, his hands still fisting your shirt at your waist.

“No, I’m sorry for being such a dick. I didn’t mean it. You are doing so much for Izzy and I, I don’t know what I would do without you!” he whimpers and when he finally lifts his head up, your heart breaks at the painful look in his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. You were right about everything! Please forgive me!”

“Oh Harry,” you breathe out, the tears already welling in your eyes as you brush his messy curls out of his forehead.

“I’m so sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to hurt you, what I said was bullshit! Please forgive me, I can’t… I don’t want to lose you, Y/N,” he stutters with one breath and then he adds: “I love you.”

Your lips part as you stare back at him in total awe at his sudden confession. Though it’s been an emotional ride, you weren’t expecting him to drop this bomb on you. A smile cracks on lips as you cup his face in your hands, feeling a hot tear rolling down your cheek.

“I love you too, Harry,” you answer, both of you letting out a relieved chuckle as he finally presses his lips to yours. His kiss tastes salty from both your tears, it’s needy and a little uncoordinated, but it means the world to you at this moment.

Sitting on the little bench you finally talk everything out once you both calm down enough to speak. Harry admits that he’s been so picky about the nannies because he is still struggling to be the best father he can and is reminded of being alone in this every time he faces a struggle. It constantly reminds him that he is supposed to have his partner with him, solving everything together, but now he is on his own and has to provide the best possible life for Izzy.

“Harry… you’re not alone,” you breathe out, heart aching for the man you love with everything in you. “And I’m not only talking about myself. Your mom, Gemma, Niall, even Saige, Ava and Linda are always happy to help you out with everything. If Maggie was still here, it wouldn’t be just the two of you. Raising a child needs a whole village,” you chuckle softly. “But if you want a partner in it… I’m here. And I really mean it. I see a future with you, I want to be part of your family, of course, only if you let me.” Reaching over your hand finds his on his lap and you squeeze it gently as he looks at you, his expression still a little torn, but it’s not as painful as it was when he arrived.

“I would love to have you be part of my family, Y/N.”

It’s like a rock is lifted off your chest upon hearing his reassuring words. This is all you ever wanted, have a partner in life who is willing to build a future together with you and Harry is offering you just that.

You stay on that old little bench for so long, you don’t even realize how late it has gotten, only when your mom shows up at the door, wearing her nightgown and a fluffy robe.

“Don’t want to bother, but do you want to spend the night? Just asking if I should get you some extra pillows and blankets…”

“Oh! Um, no. We are going home, but thank you mom,” you smile tiredly, noticing it’s nearing midnight now.

Harry stands from next to you and as he steps to your mother you realize they haven’t even met. Harry stands tall in front of your mom, but you notice the nervous flash in his eyes.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t even have the time to introduce myself,” he mumbles with a nervous chuckle. Your mom blushes, most likely finding your boyfriend quite handsome though you already showed pictures of him to her. “I’m Harry,” he says, holding out a hand.

“Oh, no worries! I’m Tina!” she smiles charmingly as they shake hands.

“Nice to meet you, Tina.”

“I know we should have probably had a better introduction, but we’ll come around some other time under better circumstances,” you chuckle softly as you stand up from the bench too.

You say goodbye to Trevor and your mom and finally head home. Harry tries to convince you to ride back in his car, but you don’t want to leave yours here, so you tell him it’s going to be fine. Both of you arrive in one piece and you only realize that Izzy is nowhere to be found when you walk into the house.

“Dropped her off at Gemma’s. I’ll have to explain a lot of things to my sister tomorrow, but it can wait,” he chuckles softly before his hands reach out to you, grabbing your waist gently as he pulls you closer to him. “I’m so sorry for tonight, Y/N.”

“Hey, we agreed that no more apologizing,” you remind him of the deal you made earlier. “It’s all in the past.”

Harry nods, huffing through his nose before leaning down he kisses you softly, as if you were some kind of fragile artwork that needs to be handled with so much care.

“I love you,” he whispers against your lips, his eyes barely open under his thick lashes.

“I love you too,” you smile back, your hands coming to rest at the base of his neck.

“I will never get tired of hearing that,” he chuckles lowly, making you laugh too.

“Good, because I’ll be saying it a lot.”

“Perfect.”

“Stop picking on your lip!” you warn Harry when you catch him fidgeting with his bottom lip. He wouldn’t admit, but he is surely nervous as the two of you are waiting for Izzy to join you downstairs. She just got home from the zoo with Gemma, they had an amazing day together, but it had a purpose. You needed her to be looked after while you went to the doctor. It was your first ultrasound since the time you went to see if you’re really pregnant or the tests just fooled you, but it was one hundred percent legit. You were indeed pregnant.

You and Harry got married a few weeks before Izzy turned six. She was the cutest little flower girl in the small ceremony held at the backyard of your own home. Both of you agreed that you don’t want anything big and flashy, just an intimate little wedding with your close family and friends. It’s been two months of being husband and wife and it’s almost completely sure the little baby growing now in your tummy was conceived on your wedding night…

You’ve been keeping it a secret, wanting to tell Izzy first before sharing the news with your friends and family.

“Do you want to talk first or do I do it?” Harry asks in a whisper, as if Izzy could hear anything from upstairs.

“I have a feeling you wouldn’t be able to get a word out so I’ll take the lead, if you don’t mind,” you chuckle softly and Harry doesn’t argue.

He has been such a nerve wreck thinking about telling Izzy that she is going to be a big sister. These past years she has dealt so well with processing everything about the situation with her mom, you and the idea of her dad having a new wife. You felt like she was a little confused at the beginning, but once you had an actual, mature talk with her, answered all her questions, you could see things shift to place in that cute little head of hers. Now she knows what it means that her mom passed and how you came into the picture. This is why you have no doubt she’ll take the news well, but Harry is still afraid she might flip.

Little feet tap against the floor somewhere upstairs and then Izzy runs down the stairs, joining you at the dining table.

“What’s the surprise?” she asks in excitement. You told her you have a surprise for her when she arrived and now she is pumped for whatever is coming.

“Izzy, you know how Zac has a little brother, right?” you ask, smoothly starting the discussion.

“Yes! His name is Jeremy!”

“Yeah. So Jeremy is a little younger than Zac, they are siblings. Zac’s parents wanted to have more than just one kids and so they decided to have Jeremy.”

“Mrs. Rumbald had him in her belly!” she explains cleverly. The topic of babies has already came up earlier, so now she has an idea of what really happens when a couple decides to have a baby.

“Exactly,” you nod smiling. “You know how your daddy and I are now married, right? We talked about what it meant.” Izzy nods, glancing at her father who is sitting beside you, sweating his balls off even though it’s going smoothly. “Married couples often decide to have babies. This is what your dad and I did too and now there is a baby in my belly too. That means that you’re going to have a little brother or sister soon.”

Izzy blinks a few times, processing your words before her face lights up with excitement as she gasps.

“Can I play with her?” she asks, making you and Harry laugh.

“Might be a boy, baby,” Harry chimes in.

“Okay, then can I play with him or her?” she corrects herself.

“Well, you have to be careful with newborn babies, but I’m sure she or he will love to play with you!”

“What’s it gonna be called?” she asks her next question.

“We don’t know that yet. But you can suggest names if you want to,” Harry offers.

“Can it be Elsa if it’s a girl?” she immediately suggests and you smile at her first thought. Of course she says Elsa, she is going through her mandatory Frozen obsession like every other kid at her age.

“We’ll put it on the list,” you tell her. “Do you want to see a picture of the baby?”

“You can take pictures of the inside of your belly?” she asks with a confused look.

“Well, not with a camera like the ones I use,” you explain as you place the black and white, messy picture of the tiny baby in front of her. She grabs it and starts inspecting it as if it was some kind of puzzle and you can tell she is having a hard time making out where the actual baby is. “That’s right there. It’s still tiny and has to grow a lot,” you tell her, pointing at the right splotch in the picture.

“Can I keep this picture?” she asks smiling up at you sweetly. “I want to put it to my wall!”

A while ago Harry has gotten her a huge frame right above her bed that has wires running across it with tiny clips attached. You’ve gifted her her favorite polaroids from your stack you’ve collected through the years, most of them featuring the three of you. It’s touching to know that she wants her little sibling there already.

“Of course!” you breathe out, touched by the idea.

You follow her up into her room and while she stands on the bed, you put the sonogram next to a photo that was taken of her and Harry on her sixth birthday.

“Can I tell my friends at school that I’m going to have a brother or sister?” she asks, still standing on the bed so now she is almost as tall as you are.

“Um…” glancing over at the door your eyes meet Harry’s who just shrugs, letting you know it’s up to you. “I guess you can, yes.”

“Thank you!” she beams, throwing her little arms around your neck as she hugs you tight and you return it gladly. “Can I watch some TV, please?” she asks with an angelic look she knows you can never resist.

“Yeah, but only for an hour,” you tell her as she jumps in victory before climbing off the bed. Running to the door she gives Harry a hug before disappearing down the hallway. Harry walks in, a proud and soft smile tugging on his lips as he steps to you, his hands finding your waist. He pulls you against his hard chest, pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead.

“This went well, right?” he asks.

“Yeah, you were such a big help, sitting there in silence,” you chuckle teasing him.

“But you handled it so good, baby. I didn’t want to interrupt,” he smirks and you just roll your eyes at him before circling your arms around his neck.

“Uh-huh, sure,” you smirk. “So… are you ready to be a daddy again?” you ask him with a shy smile.

“Technically, I never stopped being a daddy,” he points out. “The real question is, are you ready to become a mommy?” he asks turning it back to you.

“I’m… a little nervous, but very excited. I think I’m ready,” you nod smiling.

“Don’t worry, it’s gonna be alright,” he hums, kissing into your hair.

“Wow, when did you become the emotional support in this relationship?” you tease him and he just rolls his eyes.

“Learned from the best,” he nudges his nose against yours before kissing you softly. “I love you.”

“Love you too,” you smile against his lips, thinking about how long the two of you have become since you first met and you are happy you got to be the person who taught Harry how to love and be loved again.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

taglist

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#harry #styles #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fanfic #harry styles au #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x reader #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles smut #to love and be loved series

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illfoandillfie · 3 years

Note

Maybe a ben POV one? where bens off on a movie shoot and misses you and wants to fly you out to him but he’s worried it’s too much of a “romantic gesture” like in movies so he doesn’t want to weird you out but then on the phone you say how much you miss him too so he gathers the nerve to ask you and you’re like duh ofc I’ll come you dork (im envisioning this still kinda early in the qpr maybe right after platonically or smth)

Thank you so much babe!!

This is the second of the blurbs for my Platonically themed event! This one follows directly on from the one I posted yesterday so maybe read it first.

Words: 1,759

Warnings: just two idiots being dummies. Minor references to sex and probably some swearing but that's about it.

Reflecting on the situation, Ben had come to the conclusion that it was the perfect time to be in Greece. The run of beautiful weather they’d had over the course of the last month must have set some sort of record, he thought. Every day was blue skies, white fluffy clouds, and the sort of heat that was comfortable and not overly sticky. It made working a dream, especially when half the film seemed to take place on the beach. The sand was warm under his feet and the water clear and cool. They didn’t have much down time since the studio was pushing for it to be finished ASAP so they could release it at the optimal time, but the few days off they did get, Ben spent either fishing with some of the crew or else exploring the picturesque town they were in. There was just one downside. You weren’t with him.

Whenever the thought crossed his mind, whenever he really started to miss you, he’d remind himself that he loved his job, loved that it took him to exciting and beautiful places. And then he’d send you a quick message to check how everything was back home. He called too, mostly in the evenings after he got back to his hotel room. But the deeper into the project he got the more night shoots there were and the later he got back to his room. What brief conversations you had were good but not quite the same as if you’d been there with him. Of course, he’d try to remind himself that it wasn’t like he’d never been away from you before. But those times had all been before you got together, and the changed nature of the relationship made him feel your absence more. He never said that to you though. Mostly, when you could talk, Ben would ask how you were and talk about the exciting things he saw. He’d tell you about the beaches or the trinket shops and say how much you’d like them but he’d never tell you exactly how badly he wished you were with him. He didn’t want you to take it the wrong way and he didn’t trust himself to explain it properly. Whenever he tried to verbalise it (quietly, to his reflection or the dark hotel room he was staying in) he worried it came out too...well, romantic.

The truth was, he’d always been attached to you, since very early on in your relationship. You just got him. His sense of humour and his personality and the way he thought. It took him no time at all to start referring to you as one of his best friends and it was a title you’d held for years. But then he’d realised the way he liked you wasn’t strictly platonic, and it made him feel weird around you. More uncertain than he was used to. He found it hard to describe the relief he’d felt when you agreed to think about his QPR idea or how, when you’d accepted, it had alleviated the uncertainty and doubts that had been plaguing him. To you it would probably sound sappy and sentimental and tat all what you wanted to hear from him. Of course the QPR was really just an extension of your friendship. More or less the same, just a few new ways to show affection like kissing and getting you off (both things Ben greatly enjoyed), and a few new words that made it specific to the two of you. And maybe a new future too, depending on how things went. But again, while he might think those sorts of thoughts, he wouldn’t know how to begin saying any of them to you. Because he was starting to really want that future with you, and saying so might make it impossible to get there.

So Ben allowed himself to miss you quietly. Occasionally an idea of inviting you to join him would pop into his head. But he always let the thought go as quickly as it came. The weeks ticked by like that. Texting when you could between scenes and less and less frequent calls at night, which left Ben’s head swimming with lots of unsaid things. Progress was made on the movie too, most of the beach scenes wrapped and everyone moving to other parts of the script. Until everything came to a screeching halt. Ben wasn’t entirely sure what the problem was – something to do with scheduling conflicts or maybe special equipment that hadn’t arrived on time. All he was told was that things would be back up and running soon but it might take an extra few weeks to complete the project. He didn’t mind so much, it gave him a bit of extra free time after all, but it also meant he wouldn’t get to see you again for a while.

The possibility of flying you out to Greece to join him had been rattling around his brain since his third week on set. You could spend a couple of weeks, maybe a month, together. He could take you to that restaurant he’d sent you photos of and show you the handmade stationery shop he’d stumbled across that he knew you’d have fun exploring. And then there was the rest of the town, thin streets to get lost in together and beautiful views to look out over. Maybe you’d like to walk along the beach with him and collect seashells or rent a little dingy to take out on the waves. Once or twice he’d come close to actually asking you to join him but he always talked himself out of it, sure it would be crossing a line for you. Missing you was one thing but offering to buy you a plane ticket and whisk you off on a getaway to a gorgeous Greek island was surely too romantic. But the news of the delay made him consider it again.

That night he called you, smiling as soon as he heard your voice. At first the call was like any other. He listened to you talk about what had been going on since he last had a chance to call, getting caught up on your mutual friends and your work and whatever else came to mind. “But what about you?” you finally said, “You must be pretty busy since I haven’t had a call from you in a little while.” “Well I was busy except not so much right now,” “Oh?” “There’s some sort of delay, I don’t the details. But it looks like I’ll be here for another few weeks at least.” “Oh.” Ben was a little surprised by how disappointed you sounded. “I really miss you,” “I miss you too,” his voice got softer as he said it, “a lot.” “I really wish I could see you,” “Well,” he said sheepishly, hoping he wasn’t reading things wrong, “how would you feel about coming out here then? I can get you a plane ticket if you want.” “No shit! You can do that? You won’t like, get in trouble or anything?” Ben laughed, not quite understanding, “What are you talking about?” “I don’t know man, I’m not an actor. I just figured it’d be like a partner free zone. Like they wouldn’t want you getting distracted or whatever.” “You fucking dork,” his laughter threatened to obscure the words but he managed to make himself heard, “That’s not how it is at all. You being here wouldn’t be a problem, as long as I’m on set when they need me. Plus it looks like we’re about to have a whole lot of downtime anyway. So does that mean you wanna come?” “Ummm let me think abo- of course Ben!” “Well if I’d known you’d react like this I would have asked sooner,” The laughter had faded, leaving a grin on his face, though the embarrassment at his hesitancy was creeping up too. “Wish you had’ve. Why didn’t you?” “I just didn’t want you to take it the wrong way,” “And what way would that be?” “A romantic way? I don’t know! It’s just the sort of thing that’d happen in a romantic movie or whatever and I didn’t want to come across like that. It’s Greece man, it’s kind of a romantic place. Maybe not like Paris but it’s up there. Don’t laugh,” he groaned, “I’m just saying, white sands and clear seas and lots of pretty flowers in bloom, it’s definitely got romantic vibes.” “It didn’t even cross my mind that it might be that sort of thing. No offence to Greece, I’m sure it’s lovely.” Ben let himself chuckle at his idiocy, “I guess cause I’ve like, y’know, got feelings for you or whatever I saw the romantic side and assumed you would too. Feel silly for not just asking you but I’m glad we have that sorted now.” “I think it’s sweet, Ben. I love that you were conscious of how it might be perceived and I understand you didn’t want to hurt me. But yeah, dude, please get me that ticket, I miss you a stupid amount.” “Alright, I’m on it. When do you want to leave?”

Two days later and Ben was content, sitting and staring out at the waves on a quiet beach as you rubbed sunscreen into his back. He’d greeted you at the airport, feeling ridiculously excited to see you, squeezing you in a tight hug (which you later suggested had cracked one of your ribs). “Okay, all done, now let me do your front,” you shuffled around Ben on your knees, throwing a leg over his lap as he leaned back on his palms. “You’re such a perv,” Ben chuckled, subtly adjusting his posture to push his chest further towards you, “I bet you only suggested sunscreen so you could feel my boobs.” “Oh you caught me,” you squirted some more of the cream directly onto his chest, beginning to rub it in, “Definitely nothing to do with sun safety.” “No I get it, you don’t need to lie to me. You missed my pecks. It’s totally natural. But let me know when you’re done so I can show you the same courtesy.” "Think we might save that till we get back to the hotel, Benny,” Ben laughed at your exasperated expression, raising one arm to pull you toward him for a kiss, barely noticing the cool of the cream still on your palm as you cupped his cheek and kissed him back.

#my writing #my blurbs #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy imagine #platonically event #(lowkey have a headache rn so i hope this is alright kdjskdjsdk #i really tried to play up the ~not so good at communicating while separated~ thing #as well as a bffs sharing a braincell thing lmao)#(also please let me know if the formatting on this fuks up #i copied it from a word doc and idk if it's going to cooperate lmao)

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itsnsfwalways · 4 years

Text

Canyon Moon

FIC MASTERLIST

warnings for ch 3: mentions of drug use (weed), swearing, oral sex (m! and f! receiving), a hint of degradation if you squint

chapter 3: you’re so golden

The sun hitting your eyes was the first thing that woke you up, the warmth inviting, but also very bright. Scrunching you’re face up, you tug the blanket over your head, turning to the side and taking a deep breath in. You find giving your body a few minutes to wake up before you force yourself out of bed makes you feel so much more awake and in a good mood.

Stretching your back, you rub the sleep out of your eyes and roll out of bed, trudging to the bathroom to wash your face and brush your teeth.

Yawning as you walk into the kitchen, you make yourself an iced coffee before starting on breakfast. Putting on Rumours, you sing quietly to yourself while making a scramble with a bunch of veggies to get your greens in early.

Heading back to your room with hot sauce in hand, you light some incense and take a few bong rips before eating your breakfast quietly on the window sill. That was something you absolutely LOVED about your room, the edge of the window was just wide enough for you to sit (or lay down) and admire the view of palm trees and beautiful blue skies.

Opening up Misery, you finish a few chapters and mindlessly eat for a bit, listening to the birds chirp and the buzz of the city waking up. Once you finish your food, you go sit cross legged on your meditation pillow, facing the floor length mirror as you make sure your posture is straight. Putting on your favorite meditation music, which, at the moment, is 432hz Healing Tones, you take a deep breath in, clearing your mind and allowing the sun and healing vibrations to roll over you. You imagine yourself breathing in healing energy and nothing but love, and exhaling all of the stuck, negative energy, trying to ‘push’ it out with your breath. Sometimes it felt a bit silly, but if it made you feel loads better, why not do it?

About twenty minutes pass before you slowly blink open your eyes, yawning quietly before going into child’s pose, stretching your back and hips after sitting for so long.

Lying down on your back on the mat, you stare up at the ceiling, feeling an overall sense of being okay. Your body feels good, your mind feels good, your stomach’s full of butterflies that make you smile and blush at the thought of seeing Harry in a bit.

Pulling yourself up with a grunt, you throw on a swim suit and a random pair of shorts, not caring to bring a real top. After applying a bit of sunscreen on your face and shoulders, you slide into your flip flops and fill up a water bottle before heading out the door.

Unlocking Sunflower, you sit on the edge of the side door while sliding on your scuffed white rollerskates with obnoxiously bright blue wheels. They were your pride and joys, and made you feel as if you were in a different time, enjoying the breeze on your cheeks as you skate towards your spot. The journey only took about 15 minutes, with minimal stumbles, so it was already turning out to be a great day.

Finally pulling up to the small lot, you squat down to pull of your skates, putting them behind a rock along with your socks and shorts. You shook your head as you sprinted towards the ocean, leaping into the freezing water. It was the only way you were able to get in, you were never one to wade slowly in. Swimming about half a mile out, the waves crash over you coolly, soothing your quickly warming body. It was going to be a hot day today, good to know. Treading water, you look at the coast, everything looking so small. You made sure to breathe in, capturing this exact moment in memory. The feeling of salty water on your skin, wet hair stuck to your neck and the slight burn in your arms, but this was it. This was pure bliss.

But, you’re also not insane, so after a bit you swim back to shore, spending about ten minutes doing handstands and flips before getting out, wringing out your hair on your way up the beach. Climbing up the pile of large rocks next to cliff, you lay on top of a relatively flat one, allowing your body to dry off for a little bit and give you a few extra moments of sun.

You always hated dusting off your feet for forever before getting back in your socks and skates, but rather that than get sand in them.

“Fuck, I really am killing it today,” you pant to yourself, definitely feeling a burning in your thighs as you start heading home, desperately wanting a shower and some chocolate.

Throwing your skates in Sunflower, you slam the door closed and trudge up the steps to the apartment, practically falling over as you enter the door.

Laura looks up from her phone, perched on the countertop eating a bowl of cereal.

“Look at you, sexy girl, how was the water?” She teases, handing you a banana from the counter immediately because she knows you need it.

“Good,” you sigh, taking a bite and moaning, leaning against the wall for a minute in silence.

“When’s your date with Harry again?” She asks, glancing at the clock.

Oh fuck.

The clock read 10:30.

“Okay, that’s not bad, I just need to get my ass in gear,” you convince yourself, throwing the banana away and grabbing a spoonful of peanut butter. You didn’t have time to make yourself anything else, plus you were eating with Harry soon anyways.

“You got this. Do I get to meet him?” Laura encourages, raising her thumbs at you.

You laugh and nod. “Absolutely, just don’t ask about his exes or I’m going to look crazy.”

“Got it, no exes. Get in the shower, you’re dripping everywhere!”

You run upstairs, yelling back, “I’ll clean it up,” as you head into your room, turning on Currents by Tame Impala to pump you up as you shower, quickly washing your hair and body, shaving the itty bitty stubble just in case.

Running some curl cream through your hair, you try and scrunch and dry your hair as fast as possible, which doesn’t really work, but at least you tried.

A bathrobe envelopes you as you sit down at your small vanity, starting on a little bit of makeup. Dabbing a bit of concealer on your undereyes and small blemishes, you keep it semi-natural with just bronzer, blush, and highlighter, admittedly a ton, but who’s to say. Brushing your brows out and filling in the ends a little darker, all that goes on your eyes is a brown eyeshadow and a beautiful gold pigment, then comes drenching your eyelashes in mascara.

You turn your attention back to your hair, thank god you were having extremely good luck today, because it fell perfectly, the layers framing your face so elegantly that you had to smile at your reflection. Self-love is a journey, and you were glad to be in a good space.

Checking your phone finally, you find a text from Harry, sent 2 hours ago. Whoops.

Good morning, Y/N, just wanted to make sure we’re still on for 12. Hope you slept well.

Well, it’s confirmed, you’re a completely asshole. It’s 11:15 and you still haven’t responded to a text about a date happening at NOON.

AHH IM SO SORRY hi harry ! i don’t check my phone for a while in the mornings, i’m the worst, i know. we definitely are still on, haha, noon still work for you ?

You throw your phone on your bed while you stare at your closet, trying to find a good outfit for today.

Eventually coming to a pair of high waisted white shorts that you got from your mom, thankfully having the same waistline as her in high school, and a light blue silk tank top with gold straps. Planning on wearing your black boots with the gold detailing, because, hey, it seems you’ve got to up your fashion game dealing with Harry, you place them next to your bedroom door before checking your phone.

You scared me for a minute, I was about to go eat a very sad lunch by myself. I’m going to start heading over, that alright by you?

You giggle quietly at his response, typing out,

sounds great :) i’m planning on wearing a pair of boots, should i bring sandals or anything ?

Woah, trying to outdress me?

He sends the next one moments later.

Just teasing, boots will be fine. We’re going to this cafe I really like.

of course i’m going to out dress you, who do you think i am ? and awesome !! see you in a bit !!

You grab a small black bag, putting your sunglasses case, gum, keys, wallet, chapstick, lighter, your dab pen (you never know), and a small rollerball perfume inside. Sliding in some gold hoops and placing your rings back on your fingers, you wiggle them a bit. They always look a bit naked without them on.

Putting on your boots, you head into the bathroom to brush your teeth once more before Harry arrives. But nope, the doorbell, rings as soon as you start brushing your molars.

“Shit,” you gasp, heading over to the door, toothbrush in hand.

You swing open the door and rush out, “Hey, Harry, I’ll be out in two seconds, come on in.”

Taking in his appearance, you grin at the white sunglasses pushed in his hair. Wearing a white t shirt, it’s tucked into a pair of blue pants that matches your shirt to a goddamn T, which you can’t help but laugh at as you walk away. Passing Laura in the hallway, you give her a look as she walks over to him.

Their conversation travels through your open door as you finish brushing your teeth.

“You must be Laura,” Harry starts, and you can just see him reaching his hand out.

“I am, it’s great to meet you,” she says, her smile bleeding into her voice.

“You have a beautiful home, so close to the beach too,” Harry compliments.

“Thank you, yeah, Y/N found this place forever ago and we’ve been living here since we moved out. My dad knew the landlord and they gave us a ridiculously low price for it, but I am not complaining.”

“Oh that’s sick, I’ve been in Malibu for just a bit, always kind of changing my location around LA and England.”

“That was what we thought we were going to do, but I definitely am glad we stayed here. Living in the city is fun and all, but it’s a lot, you know? We need our peace and quiet at home.”

You walk back out, purse and phone in hand, taking in their positioning. Laura’s sitting on a stool, cup of coffee in hand as Harry stands across from her, eyes on you as soon as you walked out.

“I’ll see you later,” you grin at Laura, sneaking another glance at Harry as you give her a quick hug.

“Okay, bye! Nice meeting you, Harry!” she smiles, and of course he replies with the same.

You close the door behind the two of you and he looks you up and down again, meeting your eyes and smiling.

“Hi,” you breathe out, his eyes capturing you immediately.

“Hi,” he whispers back, squeezing your exposed side. “You look really good, Y/N.”

You bite your lip to hide your smile, placing your hands on his shoulders, feeling the fabric (but really just his muscles). His hands immediately go to cup your waist, not pulling you in, just holding you.

“So do you. Like the blue,” you grin, moving your hands down to his waistband.

“Proper matching, I’d say,” he cheekily smiles, thumbs feeling the edge of your shirt’s material along your ribs, your breath hitching slightly at his movement.

You’re the first to pull away, moving your hand to lace your fingers together, tugging him gently down the stairs. He follows after you, squeezing your hand with his and shaking his head, trying to mask his smile by twitching his nose.

That gorgeous being of a car is parked in front of your house, the color alone bringing a smile to your lips, but now the top was down, which was about to make this a lot more fun.

“God, Harry, I might have to steal this from you,” you sigh, arms crossed as you look up at him seriously.

He laughs loudly, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

“Maybe one day I’ll let you drive it,” He whispers, kissing the top of your head before pulling away and opening your door like nothing happened.

You stand there still for a moment before blinking and getting in, holding his hands on the door when he closes it. Turning your body, you lean out the door, placing your hands next to his as you whisper in his ear,

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

Sliding your lips along his cheek as you pull away, you plop back into the chair, putting on your sunglasses and messing with your hair a bit.

Harry clears his throat before walking around the car, sliding into the driver’s side and starting the car.

“Do you want to play music?” He slowly asks, his tone sending shivers down your legs.

You perk up at this, nodding quickly and taking the aux cord from him.

“I’d love to. Have you heard of Tash Sultana? They released an EP a few years ago, their voice is incredible. They make all their own loops and play every instrument by themselves.”

Harry gives you a side eye, grinning as he says,

“That’s some pretty new music for you, princess.”

Your lips part slightly and Harry watches closely as your cheeks flush, licking the side of his mouth with a grin.

“Have I found a nickname you like, Y/N?” His voice has raised slightly, obvious excitement in his expression.

“Only sometimes,” you shrug, trying to play that off as cool as possible. “And yeah, my ex actually introduced me to their music.”

Harry raises his eyes at this, bringing a finger to his lips to hold his laugh in.

“Why the fuck did I say that?” Your hands go up to your face as Harry finally laughs at you, turning the volume down just a little to listen to you.

Sighing for a second, you pull your hands away before blurting out,

“I don’t want you to think that I’m lying to you about not knowing your music or you, because I do listen to stuff released now, obviously. I’m not a music snob or one of those too cool for school people because I absolutely blast SZA when I’m drunk and I’m starting to overthink and-“

Harry cuts you off by taking your jaw in his hand, turning your face towards him. Perfect timing, as always, pulling up to a red light right when he needs it.

“Hey,” he whispers with a smile, stroking your cheek. “I don’t think that you’re lying to me, and I understand. I was kind of a dick for saying all that right away to be honest, but I get it. I listen to mostly oldies too, if I really think about it.”

You exhale, looking up at him.

“Okay. I’m still going to freak out about it and make sure you know.”

He squeezes your jaw slightly, scrunching his nose.

“No,” he cutely protests, and you can’t help but giggle.

He smiles in return and lets your jaw go, hands going back to grip the wheel a little bit tighter

The two of you drive for a little bit, not really saying anything. You can’t help but dance in your seat to the beat, silently mouthing the lyrics to yourself. Harry keeps glancing over at you, too, grinning at the way you blush when he notices you doing it.

“How was your morning so far?” You start, just wanting to hear him talk.

He has to talk a little bit louder over the wind, but he’s happy to get the conversation started.

“Quite good actually. I’m going to Cabo in a couple weeks and was just getting some early packing in. Don’t you hate when you go somewhere and realize you forgot something like a toothbrush at home?”

“It’s the worst, I always end up having to go to a corner store and get something. What’s in Cabo?” You ask, already so amazed at his lifestyle.

“Friend of mine is having a birthday, so we’re there for a bit celebrating, going to be an amazing trip. Happy to be here, though,” he adds, eyes flicking to yours as he says it.

“I’d be worried if you weren’t.”

“What about you? How was your morning?”

“Really good. Sorry about not texting you back for so long, by the way. I just have this thing about using technology right after I wake up, it gives me pretty bad headaches so I go as long as I can without it unless I hear it ring. But it was super productive, I got a good breakfast and read in, meditated a bit, skated to the beach and went for a swim, then got ready for this.”

“You put me to shame, Y/N, you really do.” Harry laughs, running a hand through his hair.

“I just woke up in a really good mood. I can definitely be grumpy in the morning, I’ll tell you that,” you try to explain, scared of feeling too pretentious.

“Yeah? I can see you throwing a fit if someone wakes you up before you’re ready,” Harry nonchalantly says, looking at the rings on his fingers before checking your reaction.

Cheeks hot, you feel almost scolded by him, thankful for the large sunglasses on your face.

“You’re not wrong,” you finally agree, crossing your legs smoothly.

That doesn’t go unnoticed by Harry, reaching a hand down to rest on your thigh almost immediately. His large hand wraps around your skin, thumb immediately starting to go in small circles.

“I started meditating a few years ago but I absolutely love it, I feel like it allows you to start the morning off right.”

Taking a deep breath before answering, you nod and say,

“Completely agree. It still can feel a bit weird doing it when I’m in a mood or anything, but whether you believe in it or not, having all that negative energy in you without doing anything about it isn’t good for you.”

“You’re quite cute when you talk about things you like. Light up like a little sun,” Harry smirks, pulling his sunglasses up to look at you, the piece of gum in his teeth allowing his jawline to be even more prominent. You do the same, placing them in your lap as you uncross your legs, his hand staying on your left thigh as it goes back towards the seat.

“Yeah?” You don’t stop looking at him, watching his eyes flit between you and the road.

Harry hums before adding, “I think you know that though.”

“That I’m quite arguably the epitome of all things golden? Of course, but it’s always nice to hear.”

You make a noise of protest as Harry removes his thigh to make a left, while simultaneously laughing at you.

“You are absolutely golden, love, don’t you forget it.”

He pauses for a moment before starting again.

“I’m going to warn you right now that there might be some photos taken of you when we go in or leave, or fans coming to take pictures. If that bothers you-“

Cutting him off quickly, you sit up, shaking your head.

“I dressed cute for a reason, if it happens it happens. I’m going to be pissed if someone comes for my outfit though.” You giggle at yourself and grab Harry’s hand, squeezing it gently. “I know what I’m signing up for. You’re good.”

Squeezing back, he looks down at his lap for a moment before glancing back at you, eyes so sincere your heart clenches a little.

“Thank you. Just... need a little reminder sometimes too.”

Unlacing your fingers, you stick your pinkie out, swearing, “I promise that I will always remind you that you’re not going to cause me any problems, and I’m not going to do the same. You promise to always remind me I’m golden?”

“‘Course, love. Was gonna do that anyways,” Harry chuckles, intertwining your fingers, heartbeat going just a little bit faster.

He couldn’t explain it, didn’t want to admit it to himself even, but your presence made his world just a little bit brighter. He couldn’t get you out of his mind, your smile, giggle, and sweet-smelling perfume was all he could think about since last night. His brain was trying to come up with reasons why this was a bad idea, how you could be using him, you were going to break his heart and leave without a second glance. But one look at your face, those eyes looking at him with so much wonder, made him hate the part of himself looking for excuses. These feelings felt way too much, too fast, but all he knew was he wanted to call you his girl. His sweet Y/N.

Parking his car next to some trees, he runs over to open your door, helping you step out and shutting the door behind you, placing the cover on the car quickly. The two of you walk into the cafe in silence, arms swaying next to each other. You figured he wasn’t comfortable holding hands in public on the first date.

The atmosphere of the Beachwood Cafe was everything you could want in a coffee shop. Absolutely stunning artwork covering the walls, a checkerboard floor, fun colors splattered all over. Your face must show how excited you were because you feel Harry bump you, grinning down at you. You hum, smile on your cheeks as he holds your face in his hands for a second.

“Like it?” You nod happily at his question, following the waitress to your table, one in the furthest corner from the door.

“Can I start you off with some drinks?” She asks, setting menus in front of the two of you. Harry gestures for you to go first and you quirk an eyebrow before turning.

“Can I please get a large iced coffee with some honey? Thank you so much,” you add, looking Angie, her nametag reads, in the eye.

“And for you?”

“A large iced americano would be wonderful, thank you, love.” Flashing that award-winning smile at her, she writes down his order and heads back to the front.

“This place is really cute, Harry,” you gush. “Thanks for bringing me here.”

His chest tightens at your cute face looking at him from across the table, the amount of gratitude coming from you at all times filling him with light.

“‘Course, honey. You don’t have to thank me,” He earnestly tells you, placing his chin in his hand.

“I know, but I feel like I need to,” you trail off, looking at one of the names of the scrambles on the menu. Snapping your eyes back up to him, Harry can tell where you’re going with this.

“Please don’t,” he half-laughs, half begs.

“But it’s so easy,” you pout, grinning when he sighs and waves his hand for you to continue.

“Should I ask how strong the Weid scramble is going to hit?”

Groaning into his palm, Harry tries his hardest not to laugh, but can’t help one escaping when you kick him under the table.

“Satisfied?”

“Very,” you nod, looking over the menu once more. “Have you had the Thai noodle salad? That looks hella good.”

“It is ‘hella’ good,” Harry teases, using quotation marks in the air.

“Right then, love, what’re you getting?” You respond in a British accent, folding up your menu.

“Probably the Brussels sprouts salad, it’s my usual here.”

You open your mouth to say something before your drinks are placed in front of you, Angie asking if the two of you are ready to order. Harry goes ahead and orders for the two of you, delicately grabbing the menu from your hands to hand it back to her with a charming smile on his face. Watching her walk away, you grab your drink, lifting it for a cheers.

“To living,” you simply state, Harry repeating it with a look in his eyes you can’t quite name.

“So,” you start, adjusting your position in your seat for a second. “You said you’re writing for your second album, right?”

Harry nods, licking his lips as he pulls away from his glass, catching the way your eyes wander to his mouth.

“Sort of. I want to, you know, take a break, try and just have some fun, rather than jump straight into writing and recording again. At the same time, I really fucking miss it. Writing and being in the studio and getting all that out just feels so good.”

The way his accent wraps around his words makes it hard for you to focus on what he’s saying all the way, realizing he’s waiting on you to respond.

“I definitely think you could use some down time. But that also doesn’t mean you have to stop making music. Write out your ideas when they come to you, and when you feel like you’re ready, start pumping them all out. I’m willing to bet $100 that you already have at least a few songs under your belt, though, am I wrong?” You grin at the headshake Harry gives you, catching the blush on his cheeks. “I knew it! We all do, it’s impossible to just not write, but don’t worry about timelines or due dates. You can’t rush art.”

“God, it’s just so good to hear out loud, I feel like you already know me,” Harry shakes his head, pushing his hair away from his face with one hand.

“I’m pretty good at reading people, I’d like to say,” your arm raising above you as you stretch a little, tilting your head from side to side.

Seeing your neck arch and the way your veins move slightly under your skin causes Harry to have to clear his throat a little, taking a sip of his drink as he feels his forehead start to sweat.

“What kind of artists do you normally write for?” He blurts out, trying to figure out how to get to know more about you in a roundabout way.

“If you’re offering me a job, I’m walking out right now,” you warm, raising your eyebrows. “Kidding. I don’t know, really, I write for a lot of my friends, like I said, when they need help on some of their own projects, or if I’m hanging out in the studio I get pulled around the rooms for a different set of ears. Working with Khalid was one of my favorite experiences, though, he was so fucking cool.”

Harry’s eyes sparkle at this, perking up.

“Love Khalid. He is so talented, and hilarious. I swear, my stomach was aching after being with him for a little while. I only asked because I think I’m trying to figure you out a bit. I just wanna get to know ya,” He shrugs, fingertips tapping on his glass.

“I wish you good luck on that task, Harry, I really do. The first step in recovering is admitting you need help,” you solemnly nod, bursting out laughing when he rolls his eyes and ATTEMPTS to hide his smile.

Your food is placed in front of you suddenly, and you jump, glaring at Harry for smirking at your reaction. He couldn’t help it, you were like a little puppy, overexcited and always jumping from place to place. Harry starts eating right away, sending you a quizzical look when you sit with your hands in your lap, almost like you’re waiting for something.

“You going to start eating, honey?” He gently presses, snapping you out of wherever you went.

“Sorry,” you blush, grabbing your fork and shaking your head a little. “I don’t know what the fuck that was about.”

Fuck, yes you did, and Harry knew that. You were waiting for his permission, and that thought alone sent you into a daze. Closing your eyes around the fork, you fought off the urge to moan and tried to push the fact that he already holds so much control over you out of your head. Snapping them open, you find Harry’s eyes on you, the look in them dangerous. Clearing your throat, you whisper, “It’s really good,” which Harry responds with a simple hum, leaning forward on his elbows towards you.

“You tell me if this is too forward or too much, yeah?”

Your lips part as you nod your head, not really ready for what’s about to cross his lips.

“I’ve been noticing certain... things that you do and, well, are you a sub, darling?”

Your throat dries, unable to break eye contact or even speak, only nodding when he squints his eyes a little at you. Fuck, this was not happening, you thought, reaching to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Like to hear that pretty voice of yours, yeah?” Harry urges you, hands fighting off the urge to hold your jaw in his fingertips.

“Yeah,” you sigh, taking a swig of coffee to think of something to say. “I’m going to assume you’re a dominant,” pausing to let Harry nod, jaw moving as he chews. You throw your hands up, leaning back in your seat.

“You are the complete package, Harry, shit.”

He laughs at this, covering his mouth quickly. “‘S’all you. A dream, really.”

Your heart flutters at this, shit, no, this is a FIRST date, you cannot be feeling like this. Taking a bite of your food, you are able to just sit back and look at him. Watch how he sticks his tongue out while he puts a bite in his mouth, something you’ve done since you were a kid for no reason. How his hands look almost sinful holding the white napkin to his lips.

“Staring at me, love,” he comments after a few minutes, his eyes looking at you sweetly, like he didn’t mind, but just needed to call you out.

“Merde, je veux te sucer,” you breathe out in French, banking on him not understanding you.

“Viliane,” Harry tuts, clicking his tongue at you. Before you’re able to answer, Harry is handing his card to the waitress who passed your table, asking for two boxes for your meals.

Your eyes snap to his, all the oxygen leaving your body as he brings your plate his side, getting ready to pack it up for you.

“W-Where?” Is all you manage, drinking the rest of your coffee, before setting it down on the table, a drop of honey falling down your lip. Harry can’t help but swipe it off with his thumb, slowly placing it in his mouth afterwards, not breaking eye contact, with you.

“I live nearby. That alright with you?”

Nodding slowly, you sit quietly in the booth as Angie comes back with the check and two boxes, legs bouncing excitedly as Harry packages the food up.

“Come on, lovely, let’s get out of here,” he tells you, holding you by your elbow as you walk outside, heading straight for the car. He doesn’t bother taking the top off, opening your door for you without a word and shutting it, almost sprinting to the driver’s side.

His hand finds your thigh immediately, rings shocking the delicate skin and making your muscles tense, his fingers quickly moving to massage out these aches.

“You wanna give me a safeword, pretty girl?” His voice drips with confidence, his hands moving closer to where you needed him most. His eyes keep flickering back to you while trying to focus on the road. His curls are a mess around his sunglasses, the brown hair swallowing up most of the eye ware. A pinch on your thigh reminds you that he expects an answer, shaking your body out slightly before answering.

“The stoplight system’s good. Green, I’m good, yellow, slow down or take a break, red, stop everything. What kind of dom are you, Harry?” You push, wanting to know what you’re getting yourself into. You had done a lot of kinky stuff in the past, and there were some things you weren’t a fan of.

“Mm, I’m relatively easy going. Not going to give you any rules, unless we’re playing and have a scene set up. But,” he pauses to exhale harshly, “I’m quite mean, love. I like to take control, pick you apart bit by bit until you’re just trembling under me, can’t say anything but my name. How does that sound, puppy? Tell me now how you like it.”

His voice sends shivers throughout your body and you moan quietly, biting your lip to try and stifle it. Harry’s words circle around your brain, your stomach tightening with need. All the air seems to escape you, but you know he wants an answer.

“G-good. I like it rough, dirty, just wanna please you,” you stutter out, chest rising and falling rapidly. You absent-mindedly rub your fingers against your neck, suddenly finding it difficult to breathe while thinking about what he’s saying.

“Good fuckin’ girl,” he moans, removing his hand from your thigh to place it behind your neck, squeezing it in his grasp. He knows what you want, even if he’s driving, he’s able to pick up on any little signals your body makes. Your back arches as you let out a breathy moan, eyes slipping closed.

“Tell me, princess,” he starts, squeezing the side of your throat to make you open your eyes and pay attention to him. “What do you want to happen when we get back to my house? Don’t want to go too far too soon.”

“Fuck, Harry, I just really want to suck you off, please, please, please,” you beg, a tear actually falling from your eye as you look at him. His pupils dilate at your words, Adam’s apple bobbing as he swallows harshly, mouth suddenly dry,

“Y/N,” he growls, reaching a hand to squeeze his growing bulge in his pants. His tanned hands and dark rings contrast the bright color, adding to your ever growing list of things that Harry does that turns you on.

The car pulls up to a gate and you sit there for a few seconds before Harry is buzzed in, probably driving way too fast back to his house. Parking in his driveway, he finally releases his hand from your neck and exits the car, making his way around to open your door. Holding your hand as you exit, he places his hand on your low back to guide you into the gorgeous home, the size of it taking your breath away. Harry gives you no time to admire it, shutting the door behind him with a slam before bringing his hand up your chest to rest on your throat, slamming you into the wall. He slips a leg in between yours and takes your hip in his free hand, guiding you to start grinding on his thigh. Your face flushes with heat as he tightens his grip.

“Know you wanna suck me off, but will you cum for me first? Don’t want this pretty cunt to go to waste.”

Your head rolls back and hits the wall, hips stuttering at his words, eliciting a chuckle from Harry as he leans in, breath hitting your lips before he envelopes them, encouraging you to start grinding faster. His tongue runs along your bottom lip, prying them open to lick into your mouth, your moans being instantly swallowed by him. Pulling away slowly, he maintains eye contact with you as he removes his hand from your throat to slip two fingers into your mouth. Feeling your wet mouth on him, sucking his fingers with such need, Harry groans lowly, removing his fingers to kiss you even harder, hands making quick work of removing your shorts.

“Such a naughty girl, can’t even wait to get to the bedroom, just has to have me feel you right here, hmm?” Harry scolds, removing his lips from yours to suck a mark into your neck, fingers moving to feel your wetness through the cloth underwear. Your hands wrap around his curls as you shakily inhale, resting your forehead on his to moan out lowly.

“Fuck, Harry,” you sigh, feeling him rub along your folds through the fabric, pushing it ever-so-slightly inside of you. His mouth pulls away from you with a pop, only to bite down on the red skin harshly, working his way up to your mouth once more. He bumps his nose against yours and opens his mouth to move his tongue past your lips. Your head is spinning, breath ragged as you suck his tongue with yours, feeling the vibrations in your mouth when he moans lowly, pulling a whimper from you.

Suddenly, he drops to his knees, pulling the thong down with him. You swallow at the change in pace and allow him to help you step out of them.

“Wanna take your boots off, sweet girl?” He checks, kissing your inner thigh softly as you lean fully against the wall. You think for a second, these were pretty comfortable, pretty solid grip, why not stay in them?

“‘S okay. Perfect height for you,” you breathe, bucking your hips up. He doesn’t even wait a second to smack your pussy, grabbing your thighs to spread you even wider.

“Filthy, you are,” he growls, licking a long stripe from your hole to your clit, a gasp immediately falling from your lips. He looks up at you and grins, licking long stripes through your folds, almost like he’s trying to remember how you feel. He takes his time catching your wetness slowly, despite the little gasps and moans coming from you. Flicking his tongue over your clit for a second, he pulls back to blow cool air on it, the motion causing your legs to falter for a second.

“Gotta stay still, okay? Can’t have you falling over,” he spits directly on your core as he says this, looking up at you with his jaw hanging slightly open, loving the way your hands go to your hair to find something to grab on. He smirks to himself, licking into you while his hands find your hips, pinching the delicate skin between his fingertips. He collects as much of you and his spit on his tongue as he can, swallowing around your clit after he sucks it into his mouth. The suction makes your hips fight to buck up into him, but you use all of your strength to stay still, causing your thighs to start quivering in his palms. Harry grins and scrapes his teeth along your clit, your loud moan going directly to his quickly hardening cock.

“Taste so fucking good, angel,” he groans, nose rubbing against your clit as he fucks his tongue into you, the soft muscle dragging along your walls and guiding your wetness into his mouth. The sounds coming from him are obscene, loud slurping, sucking, and spitting onto your trembling pussy.

“Fuck, Harry, I’m not going to last,” you cry out, feeling yourself start to clench around him. He grins around you, pulling away to thumb at your clit and look directly into your eyes.

“Mm, that’s not how good girls ask,” is all Harry gives you, slipping a finger inside and immediately curling it towards himself, finding your g-spot with ease. His lips wrap around your clit, sucking harshly while his tongue draws designs on the sensitive button.

“Please, Sir, can I come?”

This has Harry moaning against you, pinching your clit between his teeth as he slides another finger in, fucking into you faster. Your eyes roll back, one hand splayed against the wall, another in his hair to give you some sort of balance. He relentless massages and thrusts into your g-spot with his fingers, feeling you clench around them so tightly that his head starts to spin. “That’s it, puppy, ask me again,” he demands, the title you gave him sending shivers throughout his body. He sucks harder on your clit, somehow speeding up his fingers inside you. A moan vibrates against your center when you pull on his curls, your hips bucking up against his waiting hand.

“Sir, please please please can I come? I’ve been so good, haven’t moved,” you beg, gasping loudly when your legs start to shake noticeably. Harry pulls away, looking up at you and grunting out,

“You have been such a good girl, haven’t you? Go. Cum, now, right fucking now on my tongue.” A loud slapping noise is heard when Harry smacks your ass, the pain sending you over the edge. Your head hits the wall with a thud, but your moan drowns everything out, the guttural sound coming from your soul. Tilting your head back, you cum into his mouth, one leg slipping out from under you and Harry places it on his shoulder without a second thought, holding you up as you ride out your orgasm. The tightness in your stomach releases and your pussy trembles around his fingers, only encouraging him to continue the constant pressure on your g-spot.The strength of it knocks the wind out of you and sends electricity throughout your finger tips, your hips slowing down their rocking motion as Harry eases his fingers out of you. He continues to lick you clean before placing your shaky legs back on the ground together, trailing his hands up your body as he stands up.

“Thank you,” you breathe into his chest, holding on to his hips for balance. His chuckle vibrates against your cheek, and you feel him move your hair out of the way to kiss your shoulder.

“Of course, lovely. How you feeling?” He is all smiles, his voice gentle and caring as he breathes in your smell, leaving small kisses along your neck.

“G-good,” you stutter out, nudging his head to make eye contact with you. He pulls away after a second, one arm going around your waist when he notices how you’re practically falling over with how shaky your legs are. Smirking, he places his other hand on your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss. Tasting yourself on his tongue was too much for you, whining into his mouth before pulling away.

“Can I suck you off now?” You ask shyly, using your best puppy dog eyes. And, wow, do they work. Harry groans, biting your bottom lip harshly before pulling away, not wasting a second before pushing down on your shoulders. You topple to the ground easily, landing surprisingly softly (thanks to Harry’s expert hands), on the hardwood floor. After helping him remove your shirt, you place your hands behind your back immediately and tuck your chin down, grinning to yourself when you hear the moan Harry let’s out at your position.

“Spoiled little girl. Gets everything and more that she asks for, hmm, yes?” Harry demands, tugging your chin up by his hands. His eyes are pointed, staring directly into yours, pupils blown out and hair a mess behind him. You can see the pieces stuck to his forehead from sweat, but his chin glistens with something that has to be you.

“Yes, sir, so good to me. Wanna make you feel good, please,” you beg, leaning closer into him, the difference in clothing setting you into a daze, seeing him fully dressed while you’re waiting on your knees in front of him, naked, panting, and pleading to have his cock down your throat.

“Greedy,” he sighs, taking his hand away from your face to slide off his shirt, tossing it to the growing pile of clothes on the floor. He keeps his eyes trained on yours, daring you to avert them as he unzips his pants, stepping out of them. He looks away for a second to pull of his boots, and you take your time admiring his thighs, because, fuck. They were thick, muscled, tanned, and the little tattoos on them were asking to be bitten, you made a mental note to do that later.

“Got a bit of a staring problem, love.”

Harry’s voice snaps you out of your daydream, eyes flickering back up to him, mouth dropping open when he’s bare in front of you, slowly stroking himself. You involuntarily make a little noise in the back of your throat, sticking your tongue out for good measure. Seeing Harry’s hips thrust up into his hand and his neck vein pop was confirmation enough for you, but you waited for him to put himself in your mouth, absolute torture you must say.

Harry finally takes mercy on you, moaning out, “God, you’re such a little cockslut, just want something in that fucking mouth of yours. Bet I could leave my fingers in there all day and you wouldn’t complain once,” when he eases himself into your open mouth.

You flatten your tongue on the underside of him, not breaking eye contact as you slide off his cock to lick at his tip with feather light touches, drawing figure eights along the top. Suckling lightly on just the head, you feel a spurt of precum land on your tongue, licking it up happily. Tearing your eyes away from his, you open up your throat to begin taking him deeper, feeling his hand immediately come to your hair as you do this.

“Yes,” Harry draws out, allowing you to take control for a moment. You wanted to suck him off, so who is he to tell you how to do it? The view is what is killing him the most, though. Your tits bouncing as you slurp him down, spit falling onto your thighs, your little bit of stomach pudge falling over as you completely lose yourself in making him feel good. That is what gets him to buck into your mouth, closing his eyes and biting his bottom lip, breathing heavily as he begins to thrust into you. You pull away after a moment, jerking him off steadily as you swallow and look up at him.

“You can fuck my throat. Don’t have much of a gag reflex, anyways. Wanna see how you like it, Sir,” you pant, not giving him any time to think before you take him back into your mouth, placing your hand on the wrist that’s in your hair, giving him another okay.

“God, Y/N, you’re heavenly,” Harry breathes, testing out the waters by doing some shallow thrusts, only then beginning to actually throat-fuck you. He places his other hand around your neck, essentially pulling you into his throat and choking you from both ways. Your eyes roll into the back of your throat and you place your nose against his belly, breathing in deeply. Harry pulls himself out of you, rubbing his cock against your cheeks.

“Feel so good,” he draws out, easing himself back into your waiting mouth, rubbing the head on the ridges on the roof of your mouth. He moans through closed lips and tilts his head back, giving you the chance to admire his strong jawline from this angle, body sculpted by Michaelangelo himself. He had no room to call you all these beautiful names while he looked this fucking good getting his cock sucked.

You start speeding up your bobs, keeping him deep in your throat and only picking up a little, the change in pressure earning you a tug on your roots when Harry pulls you to look up at him.

“Mm, you want me to cum, don’t you, dirty girl,” he grunts, a lazy grin on his now flushed face. His thumbs make their way to press on either side of your cheek, moaning lowly when he feels himself through the tissue.

You hum around him, using your tongue along the vein you can feel, looking up at Harry with such need in your eyes. You pull off for a quick second, gasping loudly while saying,

“Want you to come in my mouth so bad, want to taste you and make you feel as good as you made me,” Taking him back in your mouth and sucking him off with a vice-like grip.

“Fuck,” Harry half-laughs, half-moans. “You’re incredible. Gonna make me come so fast, you’re taking me so fucking deep.”

Not even a minute later, you feel him begin to pulse in your mouth, pulling back to just suck on the head, using your tongue to dip into the hole, and Harry cums with a loud shout, burying his cock down your throat as he shoots ribbon after ribbon of come into you. You keep your eyes at his face, remembering how his mouth looks wide open, his eyes pinched closed, hair making a perfect halo around him. His throat makes you want to cry, the veins popping out and slightly red. He stays in your mouth for a while, allowing you to suck him dry and soften slightly, before pulling out of you with a pop.

“Thank you,” you croak out, swallowing what’s left in your mouth and leaning into his touch, quite spent if you were being honest.

Harry had to look away for a second, moving his hand to hold your head while he caught his breath. You were right about being golden, your skin shone, and you just radiated everything good in this world, right after he had his cock balls deep down your throat nonetheless.

“You’re too much, beauty. Thank you, did such a good job,” he gushes, kneeling down. He takes your chin inbetween his fingers and kisses you softly, just barely moving his lips. He leans his forehead against yours and wipes your lip with his thumb, allowing you to suck the bit of cum still on your face off with a blush tinting your cheeks.

“Reminds me of this morning, a bit,” he giggles, laughing louder as you hit him in the chest, grumbling ‘dumb’. He pushes your hair out of the way and holds your face in his two hands, effectively shutting you up as you breathe in deeply, feeling strangely comfortable being this vulnerable with him this fast.

“Do you wanna take a bath with me right now? Know you were on shaky legs and this hard floor for a while,” he pouts, kissing your forehead softly. You nod slowly and he smiles, nodding against you before pulling away to unzip your shoes, placing them next to the wall before he’s picking you up with way too much ease, pulling a shriek from you.

“‘Sorry, love, your poor legs okay?” he asks, holding you to his chest with one arm, using the other to hold your thigh. He receives another nod to the shoulder and he nuzzles you, trying to see what’s happening.

“I’m okay, just tired,” you sigh, and he murmurs an ‘okay’ kissing your temple before allowing you to sink back onto him, making a mental note to ask you about it once you’ve got your breath back.

“Why don’t you go turn on that shower and wash yourself real quick with some warm water and I’ll have the bath ready when I join you, that okay?” Harry whispers, sliding you down slowly. He pushes you toward the large glass door and you smile back at him, your heart bursting with appreciation.

This one is going to change you.

A/N: and that’s a wrap !! lemme know if you guys prefer this kind of phrasing (‘you said’), or if you like ‘she said’, or ‘i said’ better. this is my first time working with a full story using y/n and second/third person kind of view, so pls bear with me. also !! i know some people aren’t really cool with weed. im a ~stoner~ (such a weird thing to type out lmao) so i smoke a lot, but if y’all aren’t comfortabke with me mentioning it p much every other chapter, let me know !! (it can even be anonymously sent in) hope you liked it, and let me know if you have any other requests for future chapters or just one shots💗💗

- lana💔

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #dom harry styles #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfiction

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uwumessenger · 4 years

Note

Hey, could you do RFA and V reacting to MC who turns into a dog for one day? weird I know lol

yes!! and sorry for taking oh so long fjdjndnd if u see dis i hope u enjoy eht

let's assume u do understand english as a dog and dont think in dog language. also this is super silly haha i had a lot of fun with it while trying to make it realistic!

+ btw since some ppl asked, yes my requests are open ! im just going in order so feel free to continue sending them in !! i only have 5 requests in my inbox now as of 5/11/2020 so ill get around to yours soon :)

Yoosung

when he wakes up and cant find you he immediately panics

calls your name and lifts anything that can be lifted to find you

he even checks the fridge!! wink wonk

when he finally quiets down and hears your barking he goes into panic mode AGAIN

when he finally finds you (as a dog) his mind begins racing

wait...is it our anniversary?!?!!! what exact day did MC join RFA again? um um is it my birthday? is it MC's BIRTHDAY???

ignores you and does a group call with zen and seven, trying to figure out what is happening

seven verifies that it is not a day of any importance

poor yoosung is just SO CONFUSED

but how do u even tell someone u transformed into a dog

i dont think yoosung would ever find out you turned into a dog

everyone would help with searching for you, and of course panic again bc the way you met them was lit rally bc u walked into your own kidnapping

yoosung is the physical embodiment of panic

but he takes care of you normally (LUCKILY HE DOESNT TURN YOU INTO THE POUND OR SOMETHING–)

when u turn human after 24 hours you explain EVERYTHING

and now he feels better

Zen

a few nights ago, zen had a psychic dream that you turned into a dog so

he brushed it off as a nightmare and his symptoms appeared bc the AC was broken and it was extra hot that night

but when he woke up and opened his eyes to a whole ass dog next to him

he FREAKED OUT

at first he didnt know what was going on but then he remembered his dream

so he tells you to bark once for yes and twice for no

are you MC?

bark!!!

are you hungry?

bark!!!

this goes on for 25 more minutes until you stop cooperating and trot away

hes very glad that at least youre not a cat

he feeds you and allows you to go do your potty business outside by yourself then cleans up after ur finished

he doesnt want you to be alone with nothing to do while hes at rehearsals so he asks yoosung to watch you!

but doesnt tell yoosung it's you lol

when he comes back he just chills w/ u until ur back to your ol' human self :')

Jaehee

initially she'd be pretty calm, thinking that you had to leave early to go do something

but after checking her phone every 2 seconds and searching every nook and cranny yet not recieving a text/finding a note from you, she begins to panic

she calls all the others, wondering if they knew where you were or what you were up to

no one knew what was going on so everyone panics!!!!

tbh she forgot about dog MC until u start scratching her

eventually jaehee starts considering the idea of u turning into a dog....but....what are the odds...

after trying everything you could think of to tell her it's really you, you realize that she wont catch on

after shes done getting ready for work she starts to wonder how to care for you

eventually decides on just bringing you in to work and hiding you the whole day

luckily jumin had back to back meetings so he wouldnt have any time to check in on what jaehee was doing

she tries to feed you something you absolutely hate and when you refuse to eat it she says

wow, MC hates eating these too

you wag your tail, jump, can dogs nod? if so you nod your head, etc etc trying to tell her that IT IS ME IT IS MC!!!'sisj@;!/&:&82

wait...there's no way. am i crazy or did you turn into a dog?

jaehee decides to bring you home instead of turning you into a shelter just in case

when you turn human again you guys strategize a plan, should this ever happen to either of you again haha

Jumin

when he wakes up and sees you (as a dog) and elizabeth playing he thinks hes still sleeping

intense eye rubbing

he calls for you and you keep running to him

but he doesnt understand :c

similar to yoosung, he double checks to see if it was a significant date or anything

now he starts to panic

on the RFA panic scale, he is at the tippity top eue

calls off from work and calls for all the help he can get

you can communicate with elizabeth i guESS so she helps you communicate with jumin

jumin looks crazy as hell rn with a cat and dog on his bed, trying to talk to them

elizabeth points at you then points at your jacket on a chair 900 times and then jumin finally connects the dots!!!

oH SO MC TURNED INTO A DOG???

you and elizabeth are like ugh oh my gosh finally

jumin calls off all the emergency protocol stuff and simply chills with you and elizabeth until youre back to your human body

now you and elizabeth have a stronger bond...how beautiful.

707/Saeyoung

luckily seven has security cameras, so when he sees you in dog form, youre sitting at his computer

the cctv footage of you somehow transforming into a dog plays and hes like oh what how is that eVEN POSSIBLE?

downloads the cctv footage to save it forever

unfortunately no dog food or anything there so he feeds you whatever is in the fridge and okay for dogs to eat

he has his fun, taking photos of you and imitating paris hilton

when vanderwood walks in to check on him, seven cant stop laughing as he explains the situation

he shares all of his photos with the rfa chat and no one believes him

and then he stops and starts thinking

??? MC are you naked? like when we sleep and you transform back....are you gonna be naked?

oh my gOSH

unlike the others he doesnt stay up and goes to sleep with you

whatever u do, do not let seven make a birthday slideshow of u </3

V would freak out, but definitely try to communicate with you as a dog before doing the absolute most

checks for human you everywhere, and when he realizes youre nowhere, he begins to consider the fact that you may have turned into a dog

googles it

he questions you, like zen does, and begins to think hes going insane

he texts you, just in case human you did go out and forgot to tell him

but while texting he scrolled up and saw a text you sent him a day ago while you were shopping

"if i were a worm would you still love me"

he picks you up and sits with you on the couch

worm, dog, human...i love you regardless. but not in an immoral and weird way. :)

spends the rest of the day taking you out to do dog things

like walking at the park and taking cute photos of you

at the end of the day he actually showers you, and talks to you until you both fall asleep

when u guys wake up he says,

i didnt waste $17 on dog shampoo for nothing...why dont we go out and get a real dog now?

yES LETS DO THAT

#was this cute #mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanons #mystic messenger yoosung #mystic messenger zen #mystic messenger jaehee #mystic messenger jumin #mystic messenger 707 #mystic messenger V #elizabeth the 3rd #mystic messenger imagines

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shhh-no-ones-home · 4 years

Text

religious disbelief josh balz x reader

+++++++++ The end is a little darker than I meant it to be 😬

this is my first time ever writing for balz so if it sucks im sorry. also its broken into parts, the beginning is the beginning of the school year and the other two parts are after graduation.

im making a balz one with a similar concept and completely different outcome so if this one was bad or hard to read that one will be much more light hearted I promise.

Song: the reaper by as it is

tag list: @thisplace-ishaunted @ryansitkowskiswifey @alilpunkrock @theoneandonlykymberlee @svintsandghosts @cynic-spirit +++++++++

i walked down the sidewalk shoulder to shoulder with my best friend. josh and i had known each other for what felt like forever, only recently had it turned into something more than a friendship though. i laughed at what he had said to me.

"i told you once, ill tell you a thousand times. the day i decide to get on that two wheeled death machine is the day i decided you can take me away from this town."

i hated his motorcycle just as much as i hated the thought of moving away. i was kind of scared of both to be honest. everything i knew was here, especially him and i didnt want that to change. he nudged my arm with his.

"im telling you, youd be perfectly safe riding with me. but if your stakes are getting you out of this town i will gladly find every excuse."

i shook my head at him.

"you know i dont want to leave."

he sent me a look.

"come on y/n you cant really want to stay here all your life do you? i mean, whats holding you back, your parents? me? hell ill be gone in a year anyways."

i frowned at him.

"and you would just leave without me? given that we're still together at that point that is."

he looked a little offended.

"you planning on leaving me by graduation in the spring?"

i laughed with him.

"of course not silly, im just thinking ahead. if you leave, what am i gonna do? we all know itll take an act of god to get me outta here. even if i did decide to leave on my own my parents would never let me."

he smirked at me.

"true about the parents, but maybe we need an act from something a little darker than God."

he winked at me and i shook my head at him as we walked up the stairs to my house.

"yeah keep saying that and you wont be able to come over anymore. ever since my parents found out you listen to metal music theyve added you to the prayer list at our church."

we both laughed a little at that. he took my hand in his.

"oh come on, when are you gonna stop going? we both know you hate organized religion, and you listen to metal too."

i giggled a little bit.

"just imagine if my parents knew about my tattoo."

i said quietly. he hugged me to him and kissed me gently.

"i think theyd burn it off you, your dad would at least."

he smiled down at me, pushing my hair away from my face as the wind blew it around. i raised my brows.

"wouldnt that be something."

he kissed me again. then there was a knock on the living room window that made me jump. i turned around to see me mom knelt on the couch watching us. josh waved at her condescendingly, making me laugh.

"dont provoke her."

i turned back to him and he kissed my forehead.

"ill see you later. we've gotta work on that science project after all."

he winked at me as he turned and walked down the steps to my house. when he was almost to the sidewalk he turned around and walked backwards, waving goodbye to me.

"i love you."

he called to me and i smiled widely at him.

"i love you too!"

i watched him for a second before opening my front door and greeting my mom with a smile.

"how was work?"

i asked as i made my way to the stairs.

"work was fine, just tired, i wanted to wait for you to get home before i went to bed though. its nice being able to see you everyday now, not just on weekends."

i held onto the stair rail as i turned to her.

"well im glad i get to see you everyday now too, even if it is just for a little bit. ill probably start dinner about five thirty before dad gets home."

she nodded.

"okay sweetie."

°°°°°°°°°

i stood in front of my mirror and nervously shook my hands out. graduation was finally over and we had gone back to the house for me to change before the school led lock-in for the graduates. i wasnt nervous about the lock-in though, i was worried about my parents realizing that josh would be there too. they barely liked him at the beginning of the school year and as much time as we spent together since my parents were getting more and more infuriated with him. it also didnt help that he liked to take them to the edge on almost everything, arguing and getting on their nerves as much as he possibly could. i was shaken from my thoughts when my mom knocked on my bedroom door.

"you ready baby? you dont wanna be late."

i nodded and picked my bag up off the floor.

"yep, we can go."

i looked in my bag one last time to make sure i had everything, phone, playing cards, medication, water bottle, the likeness. when we hit the bottom of the stairs my dad looked up at me over the newspaper he was reading in the low light of our living room.

"where did you get that shirt?"

he asked and i looked down at it. shit. i had gotten it from josh.

"uh, a friend."

he raised a brow at me.

"have i met this friend? surely not i suppose if they are giving you clothing with satanic symbols on it."

he looked over at my mom who was now wearing a frown too.

"do you have time to change?"

he asked and i looked down at the time on my phone.

"no daddy, im already late."

i said in my best pouty voice. normally that worked, he couldnt resist the charms of his little girl. i watched him fold the newspaper up and set it on the couch next to him.

"fine but when we pick you up in the morning its going in the trash."

i walked to him and kissed him on the cheek.

"okay daddy."

i followed my mom to the door and out to the car. when we were buckled in she took off towards school. i looked down at my phone and opened a message to josh.

"what are you wearing?"

i hit send, a second later he texted me back.

"am i supposed to say nothing?"

i tried to suppress a laugh and just shook my head.

"no dork, im wearing one of your shirts and i need to change into something less 'metal'"

i hit send again and waited. then i got a new message.

"sorry babe, i dont think thats gonna happen."

then i got the picture of him in another shirt with the same band on it. i breathed deeply and sent him back an 'okay.' when i looked up we were already pulling into the schools parking lot.

"when are we supposed to be getting you again?"

my mom asked as i stood out of the car. i leaned down and looked at her.

"uh dont worry about it mom, its super early so im just gonna have someone else bring me home."

i looked across the car, through her window at joshs motorcycle. damn him. i turned my attention back to her.

"okay baby, well ill see you tomorrow then."

"thanks mom."

i said, closing the door and walking into the school. as i walked up to the table to get my bag checked i noticed josh standing in the back next to one of the vending machines. A second later my phone buzzed. it was a text from him asking where i was. i smiled to myself, thanking the counselor for giving my bag back and walked quickly to him.

"im right here."

i said making him jump and clutch at his chest.

"jesus y/n you scared the shit out of me!"

i laughed and took his hand in mine, kissing his cheek.

"i think thats a small price to pay for bringing your motorcycle."

he blushed and gave me his best sorry face.

"i forgot?"

he said trying to play it off. i just shook my head at him.

"its whatever, ill grill you tomorrow when we leave."

he smiled at me.

"okay."

i squeezed his hand in mine.

"come on, i wanna see what all they had planned, i heard there was supposed to be a magician."

he laughed as me as i dragged him down the hall towards the gym.

"sure babe."

°°°°°°°°°

i held onto josh tightly as he pulled up in front of my house. i knew my parents would probably be awake already, dad at least getting ready for work. the sound of the motorcycle wouldnt be any help though. i stood up off of it and took my helmet off, swinging my hair out. josh took his off too.

"you want me to wait a minute before leaving?"

i looked back at my house, the sun barely peaking over our fence, it was still so early. I looked back at him.

"i was gonna say no, but maybe."

he nodded.

"text me when its safe to leave."

he winked at me and i kissed him gently.

"thanks for bringing me home."

i pushed my helmet into his hands and walked up to my front door, pushing it open. i was surprised it wasnt locked. i looked around for a second, seeing no one and ascending the stairs. when i moved to go to my room i heard my parents door creak.

"shirt."

my dad demanded. i turned to look at him and sent him a nervous smile.

"daddy can i at least change first? i just walked in the door."

he looked kinda mad. i knew i shouldnt have let josh bring me home on the bike. he held his hand out.

"shirt."

i frowned at him.

"okay just give me a second."

i stepped into my room and went to close the door but he pushed it back open.

"give me that damn shirt before i have to rip it off of you."

"cant i change by myself?"

he went to grab for it but i pushed him away.

"you got it from that no good josh kid didnt you? thats the friend. You know how we feel about him."

he said sternly.

"daddy hes my boyfriend."

he tried to grab at me again, holding the shirt firmly by the collar.

"i told you to stop seeing him. hes no good for you, especially if hes pushing you further and further away from god."

he moved his other hand up to tear the shirt but i held his hands in place.

"what is so wrong with that?!"

i shouted, eyes closing tightly. he paused for a second and i only opened my eyes back up when he let me go.

"how dare you say that in this house! if you are going to live under my roof you are going to love and respect the lord that built it."

"the lord didnt build shit! and maybe i dont wanna stay in this house anymore!"

he was fuming now.

"fine! you wanna go to hell? then you can fuck your boyfriend right to the gates of it, tell the devil kiss my ass while youre at it!"

he shouted at me, turning on his heel and storming out of my room. i breathed heavily for a second before looking outside. josh was still sat on his motorcycle out front, looking between his phone and the house. then i got an idea. i grabbed a bag from under my bed and started shoving shit in it, anything i could find. my favorite shirts, socks, undergarments, pants, money, anything id need. when it was full i slung it over my head, shoved my phone charger into my purse/bag that i still had on from the lock-in and stormed out of my room too. when i hit the end of the stairs i was met with my father sat on the couch, angrily putting on his work boots.

"where do you think youre going?"

he said a little snarky. i gripped my bag tightly.

"if you dont want a non believer living under your roof then ill find somewhere else to live."

i walked quickly to the door and just as i opened it he grabbed me by the hair, pulling me back.

"or maybe you just need an attitude adjustment."

he pulled me back and i reached out.

"let go of me!"

i practically yelled. i could hear him breathing heavily.

"you will learn to love and respect the lord as well as the family he has put before us. if you wont do it willingly, then ill make you."

"is that really a good idea?"

i heard josh say and i looked over at him standing in the doorway. my dad pushed me away from him.

"look at what youve done! youve corrupted my little girl! she's a satanist because of you!"

i ran to josh and he held me tightly to his side, he looked down at me as tears fell from my eyes.

"sir, in all due respect she has never once praised the devil. i would know, im the only one she hangs out with when shes not at home."

my dad looked beyond mad.

"if anything id say you pushing the lord down her throat her whole life has made her denounce your religion. so maybe you should be looking at yourself, not me."

my dad started after us and i pushed josh out the door, slamming it behind me. it swung open as we ran down the sidewalk to joshs bike.

"get back here you little shit!"

Josh jumped on first, starting it up and handing me my helmet.

"drive!"

i shouted as my dad got closer. next thing i new we were booking it down the street. i just held myself tightly to josh, resting my head on his back as tears fell heavily from my eyes. when we were a few streets over he stopped. i sat up and took my helmet off.

"you okay?"

he asked, holding his own helmet against him and looked at me very concerned. i sniffled and wiped my face.

"i am now. but i wanna get as far away from here as possible."

he looked between my eyes.

"are you sure?"

i nodded quickly.

"please josh, just take me somewhere safe. somewhere i dont have to deal with this anymore. wherever its just me and you."

he kissed me gently, pulling away and resting his forehead against mine.

"ill take you wherever you wanna go."

i pulled away and nodded at him.

"I love you josh."

I leaned forward and hugged him to me, feeling him kiss the top of my head.

"I promise I'll keep you safe."

#wattpad #x reader #miw #josh blaz #balz #imagines #one shots #unedited #178

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sockablock · 6 years

Link

Something New for Me and You

• (start) (AO3) (prev) (next) •

Chapter 3: Winter Air in the Library

Today 3:27 AM

Molly Tealeaf: hey there! Molly Tealeaf: i got your number from the movie chat haha Molly Tealeaf: i just wanted to let you know how much fun I had tonight! Molly Tealeaf: you have an excellent singing voice Molly Tealeaf: and we should absolutely do this again ‘(~˘▾˘)’~ Molly Tealeaf: and maybe im being forward but if you ever want to talk about what happened w the electricity? Molly Tealeaf: also I still need to give you that jacket back, don’t i Molly Tealeaf: anyhow you’re probably asleep now so i’ll talk to you later Molly Tealeaf: good night mister caleb!

•

“My sneakers are still fine,” said Nott as Caleb chewed the end of his expo marker and drummed his fingers against the tabletop. “You can cross that one off the list.”

“Are you certain?” he pressed. “They are looking rather tattered, and if I sell the clothes Jester got me then we should be—”

“No way,” Nott frowned, shaking her head. “That was a present! You can’t sell it, what if she asks to see them? Or what if you need to go on another fancy date?”

Caleb scoffed. “I do not think I will be doing that anytime soon,” and then his expression softened. “But you are right. That would be rude to Jester. Fine,” he sighed, and drew a line through ‘new sneakers’ on the whiteboard. “We can see if there is enough money next month.”

“Hey, hey, what about the rings I stole, though?” Nott asked. “Maybe they’ll be worth something this time. Or, if we really need to, we can try running some cons.”

Caleb nodded slowly. “We can go see how the rings sell later, when Bibelots is open. As for trying old tricks, that might have to be a plan C, or even D. I do not really want any undue attention from the law. Better to steal from the shadows.”

She shrugged, and reached across the table to pull Frumpkin into her lap. “Whatever you say, Caleb.”

“Okay,” he said, and scribbled a final number at the bottom of the board. “This should work. If we are careful, in a month, we will have enough electricity to use the television and charge our belongings at home, for sure.”

“Really?” she asked, face brightening. “That’s great! Then we can host movie night, when it’s our turn!”

His triumphant expression turned slightly sheepish. “Yes, spatz, then we can. I take it you know what happened, last night?”

“Yep. I did want to check the TV to make sure, first, but I would’ve said something if Molly hadn’t interrupted—”

Caleb quickly shook his head. “Nein, no, I am…glad that you did not.”

She frowned. “How come?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, er,” he said, “I do not want the others to know that we are struggling, financially.”

“What? Why not?”

He felt wretched as he sighed and said, “I don’t want them to think down on us. We are poor, and they are not. Well, at least we know that Jester and Beau are not—”

“Their apartment was crazy.”

“—and if the Moondrop has such a reputation, I am sure that Fjord and Molly and Yasha are not either. But…but we are, and I am worried that if they found out, they would not want to spend time with us anymore.”

Nott was quiet for a moment. Then she blinked her huge yellow eyes and asked, “Is that why you worked so hard to clean up before, when they came over yesterday?”

He nodded miserably.

There were a few more beats of silence as Nott considered this. Then she nodded firmly and pressed a finger to her lips. “Alright then, Caleb. I won’t say anything. Goblin’s promise. Well, that doesn’t really mean much, I guess. Nott’s promise,” she amended with a faint grin.

He returned the smile and leaned over to ruffle her hair. “Thank you, Nott. I am glad you understand. And hopefully, if nothing goes wrong, we should be fine financially and will not have to worry too much next month.”

She grinned. “Great! And then maybe you could start using your phone too, and you can talk to that purple guy.”

“Maybe,” he muttered, and then stood up and reached for his satchel. “For now, though, we have other things to focus on. Like how it is almost time for work. Are you coming along, today?”

She shook her head. “I’m going to hang around the square and see if I can…help our money problems a bit more.”

“Alright,” he said, slinging his bag over his shoulder, “be safe. Stay hidden—”

“—and stay alert, yeah, yeah, I know. I’m a professional, remember?”

He chuckled. “How could I forget?”

She gave him a short, poorly-executed salute. “See you later, Caleb! Have fun at the library.”

He shrugged his old coat on, did the buttons up, and wrapped his scarf tightly around his neck. “See you later, spatz. Have fun in the Square. Come on, Frumpkin.”

And then, after the orange tabby slipped into the hall, he shut the door and headed off to work.

•

Today 10:26PM

Molly Tealeaf: good morning mister caleb! Molly Tealeaf: i hope you slept well, sorry about all those texts last night! Molly Tealeaf: i must’ve had a bit more to drink than i thought Molly Tealeaf: anyways, I just wanted to see if you were free anytime this weekend? Molly Tealeaf: there’s a lovely little coffee shop ive just been dying to try Molly Tealeaf: i think you’d like it

Today 12:14PM

Molly Tealeaf: so if that sounds good, shoot me a text? Molly Tealeaf: ive got a flexible schedule any time before 6 dear

Molly slipped his phone back into his pocket and sagged in the barstool until his forehead hit the countertop. Yasha pulled a cup down from the back shelf and poured him a glass of water.

“I don’t see why I needed to come in so early,” he mumbled, words muffled. “It’s not like I need to practice, really.”

“That’s not a good attitude,” Yasha chided, and slid the drink over. “Gustav made it clear that the 25th anniversary event was important to him, and there are only three days left.”

Molly sighed, and reached blindly for the glass. When his fingers finally made contact, he lifted his head, took a sip, and frowned.

“This isn’t vodka, dear.”

She nodded. “It’s water. It’s noon. You’re hungover.”

Molly scoffed, but took another sip. “I am not hungover,” he protested. “Beau was the only one who got that shitfaced last night.”

“That may be true,” Yasha agreed, “but you are still not in top shape. Desmond did not call a break because he was tired of playing, that is for sure. And the others can tell there is something on your mind. Me included.”

Molly shrugged. “Maybe there is, dear. Or, maybe, I’m just having a bad day.”

“You?” Yasha raised an eyebrow. “I did not know that was possible.”

Molly his tongue out at her. “It happens to the best of us. I would know, because I’m the best of us.”

Yasha sighed. “Is this about Caleb? Is that what this is?”

Molly had a brief flashback to staring at his phone screen at four in the morning, waiting to see if the other man would respond. He shook his head.

“Absolutely not. Not at all.”

Yasha, bless her heart, seemed convinced. “Is it your...abilities? Are they acting up again?”

Molly shook his head much faster this time. “No, no. It’s…it’s really nothing. I promise, I’m in tip-top shape—”

“Good!” grinned Bosun as his large green hand suddenly clapped Molly on the back. The half-orc leaned against the corner of the bar and beamed. “Break’s over now, friend. We’re going again from Toya’s solo. Sound good?”

Molly shot him a cheerful smile. “Sounds wonderful.”

And as they both stood up and walked past, Yasha gave Molly a meaningful, furrowed brow that conveyed just how much she didn’t believe him. He shrugged sheepishly, and followed Bosun back towards the stage with the twirl of an imaginary coat.

•

Nott slipped into a back-alley just on the fringes of the Pentamarket Square, and took a quick swig from her flask. There were plenty of folks out today, morning commuters and shoppers getting a head start on Winter’s Crest gifts. She rubbed her fingers together, and murmured a few quick arcane commands. A small, shimmering hand appeared before her, and then promptly turned invisible. She beamed, and then scaled the dumpster and pulled herself onto a nearby fire escape.

•

Caleb had his nose buried deep between the covers of a particularly promising summary of the history of magical breakthroughs in the Pre-Divergence Era, and almost didn’t notice when Jester dropped her heavy pink bookbag onto the floor and cheerfully plopped her elbows onto the counter, leaning her face annoyingly close to his. He didn’t even blink when she started singing his name and flicking the little metal bell in front of him, and he ignored her as she started insulting him and cursing out his cat, and didn’t even move until she clapped her hands together, muttered the incantation for Thaumaturgy, and made all the doors and windows slam open with a shuddering blast of hellish energy.

Chilly winter air flooded into the library. He looked up, met the raised eyebrow of Jester, and blinked.

“Oh. Good morning, Jester.”

She rolled her eyes, and draped her arms over the counter to try and smack the book out of Caleb’s hands. He pulled away in time, so she rolled onto her back and her upside-down face beamed at him without any hint of annoyance.

“It’s the afternoon, dummy,” she teased. “I finished my classes. I’m here to be tutored.”

Caleb blinked again, and shook his head slightly. “Scheiss, it is already two-thirty?”

She nodded, and flicked him in the nose. “Ah, I knew you were in there somewhere. I sent you like thirty texts, Caleb.”

He gave her an apologetic shrug. “Sorry, Jester. But you know I do not use my phone.”

She pouted, and shook her head. “Why not though, Caleb! It makes life sooo much easier, what’s even the point of having one if you don’t use it?”

“In case I am going somewhere dangerous, and I need to keep in contact with you all.”

Jester giggled. “Why would you be going somewhere dangerous, silly?” And before he could answer she held up her own phone and waved it around in the air. “Besides, I’m not offended, but how will you be able to talk to Molly now? How are you guys going to coordinate your dates?”

Caleb scowled, but mostly out of embarrassment. “Jester, we are barely friends. We aren’t going on dates. If he needs me, he can always contact Nott.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Does he know that? You guys are ‘barely friends,’ like you said. Does he know about the goblin messenger pigeon system you’ve got going on?”

Caleb opened his mouth, and then closed it again. He paused.

“Oh,” he said. “Er...I suppose not.”

Jester huffed dramatically, and tapped him lightly on the arm. “I’ll let Molly know,” she said magnanimously. “In the meantime! I need math help.” She leaned down and rummaged around in her bag until she pulled out a red binder, which she passed to Caleb. “I don’t know what the fuck a vector is,” she said, “but I need to by tomorrow.”

He sighed, and put his book down. “Alright, alright. I’m still technically on shift, though, so pull a chair up here. I can’t leave the front desk.”

As Jester retreated to the copy room—makeshift staff lounge—to fetch a stool, Caleb started rifling through her math notes. They were quite neat, though the margins were completely filled with various doodles, some sketches of her surroundings, and many caricatures of her teachers and fellow students. There were also quite a number of scrawled comments and arrows pointing to various drawings. He sighed again.

“Jester, are you using your math notes to talk to the Traveler?”

There was a pause, and then a thud, and then the sound of Jester harrumphing.

“So what if I am?” she called from the back. “So what? I’ve got to talk to him at some point, and numbers are soooo boring. It’s the only way I’ll even stay awake in class, Caleb.”

He rubbed at his eyes. “I understand that, spassvogel, but have you considered that if you did pay attention, you would not have to come ask me for help so often? Sieversii is an excellent institution, and I am sure if you just applied yourself you would do fine. ”

She came through the door, dragging a stool behind her, and shrugged as she brought it next to Caleb’s position at the counter.

“Maybe,” she said, “but then what would be my excuse to come bother you all the time? Besides, the college might be good but our teacher is shit. I don’t know who ever gave Professor Anders his license, but they should be arrested for mistreating children.”

“You are over twenty years old.”

“All the same,” Jester said, and gestured towards her binder. “Anyways, come on! Learning time! Why are there letters in the bracket, and what am I supposed to do with them?”

Caleb picked up a pencil. “These are indicators, that show magnitude and direction,” he explained, drawing a line across the page. “It means that the, the, say a particle, is moving this way…”

•

Nott, crouching behind the rusted iron railing thirty feet away, cast Minor Image over the necklace grasped in her Mage Hand. It immediately transformed into a pigeon with its wings outstretched, and she quickly yanked the Hand into the air and towards her, creating the illusion, more or less, of a bird taking flight. Nobody seemed to notice anything strange, and she grinned brightly when the hefty silver chain fell into her palm.

“I am the best,” she whispered delightedly to herself, and slipped the necklace into her pouch.

•

“No way,” Beau argued, waving her hands passionately through the air. “Kamordah was robbed. That ref had no idea what he was talking about.”

“Elbowing is a foul, Beau,” Fjord sighed, “and if he didn’t call Redleaf out Alfield would’ve stampeded.”

“Aw, bullshit. That was barely an elbow! And Alfield shouldn’t be talking, their record last year was a mess.”

“Yeah, sure, but you know Redleaf has a history—”

They continued arguing as they made they way down the sidewalk, city buildings towering above them and streets slowly coming alive as the evening crowd finished work and started filtering out for the night. The sky above them was just beginning to darken, and a winter chill swept across their red cheeks and damp hair--still dripping slightly from the gym showers. Eventually, they turned the corner and the metropolitan landscape opened up into a grand view of the harbor, where ships docked on the river and, a block away, the Fletching & Moondrop stood proudly beside the gleaming water.

“Is Jester coming by tonight?” Beau asked after they eventually just agreed to disagree and began making their way to the back staircase of the bar.

“I think so,” said Fjord as followed Beau up. “I’m pretty sure she has an exam soon, but she’s been pretty excited to see how the anniversary preparations are coming. I promised her a behind-the-scenes tour,” he added sheepishly.

“We work in Fletch, though,” Beau said as she rifled through her duffel bag for the keys.

“I know, I know, but Jester still wants to see it. I’ll sneak her into the back during break and besides, I think they like me enough.”

“Do you know what’s been planned?” Beau asked. “It sucks that we’ll be working while it’s all going on.”

Fjord shrugged again. “I know there’s some kind of big production, but that’s all Molly’s told me so far. He came home one night in a skintight dress and a feather boa, but that might just’ve been him.”

“I wish the performers would tell us more,” Beau groused. “They’re so cliquey.”

“They spend a lot of time together, I guess. And, honestly, I don’t know if I could handle that kind of life. Molly’s gone all hours of the day, I’m just glad he and Yasha bother to hang out with us.”

Beau pushed the door open and raised an eyebrow at Fjord. “Was that sarcasm?” she asked.

He grinned. “Maybe,” he said, and swung the door shut behind him.

•

“Oh, Mr. Widogast,” said Yorda, the head librarian, just as Caleb was zipping his satchel shut. “I was hoping to catch you before you left.”

Caleb glanced up, and gave her his signature, politely blank expression. “Hello, good afternoon. Is there something we need to discuss?”

She nodded, and Caleb caught the nervous expression in her eyes. His heart sank.

“Is this about my request for more hours?” he asked dejectedly. “I assume you cannot?”

She wrung her hands. “I’m sorry, dear, but I’m afraid it’s worse than that. Er...I’m going to have to cut you down to only three days a week.”

Caleb fumbled for his bag, and just managed to grab the strap before it hit the ground. His eyes were wide, and he could feel a number of emotions now wracking his brain. He tried to tamp them down.

“But...but...why?” he asked as calmly as he could. “Why? I am a good worker., I have the best record with correctly sorting books, I...I am a good worker, Miss—”

Yorda gave him a pained expression and shook her head. “I’m sorry dear, I’m sorry. It’s not you, understand? The whole library’s budget was cut, I promise this has nothing to do with your performance. I’d let you run the entire building all day if I could, we just can’t afford it, right now. Adelaine's getting a cut too, and I won’t tell you how my salary’s looking. I’m sorry, dear. I wish I could do something about it, but--”

After that, it was largely a blur. At some point, Caleb had eventually collected his things, excused himself, and walked out the front door. He barely remembered striding quickly through the city streets, barely remembered making it back to his building, must have avoided the creaking floorboards by the stairs so Kosh wouldn’t hear him on instinct, and only really awoke as he crept into his apartment and shut the door and slumped down onto the ground and closed his eyes. He could see the numbers dancing in front of him, dried-out expo marker scrawled on the whiteboard, his perfect calculations to ensuring their financial security now shattered.

He couldn’t be mad at Yorda; she was a nice enough woman seemed genuine about her sympathy. Libraries were never really on the city's radar anyways, that and the books were why he wanted to work there so badly in the first place. But now what? Now what was he supposed to do?

Somewhere in the fog of frustration, he felt Frumpkin crawl into his lap. He gratefully accepted the cat’s soothing purrs, and tried to think of what he could possibly do next.

•

Nott was on top of the world. She already had a jade bracelet and another necklace tucked away in her pouch, and was in the middle of the risky but enthralling process of trying to use two Mage Hands at once to carefully remove a woman’s shiny gold earrings. After that, she’d go home and show Caleb the haul she’d gotten today.

•

Today 7:43PM

Molly Tealeaf: actually now that i think about it i wont be free this saturday Molly Tealeaf: its the 25th of the bar! Molly Tealeaf: tomorrow would be best then i can tell you all about it!

Molly, sprawled across the sofa and glaring intently at his phone, almost didn’t notice as Jester danced into the Moondrop’s break room, followed by an exasperated-looking Fjord. But then she grinned delightedly, and threw herself onto the cushion next to Molly and started giggling.

“Mollymauk! How are you today?”

He looked over, took in the sheepish smile on Fjord’s face, and beamed. “I’m doing wonderfully, dear. What brings you here?”

“I need a full tour and breakdown of Saturday’s performance,” she said, instantly snapping in all-business mode. “Fjord doesn’t know shit.”

“Well, come on, I know some things—”

“Like what?” Molly asked, raising an eyebrow. “What could you possibly know?”

He floundered for a moment, and then looked down at the ground. “Drinks are 25% off downstairs,” he muttered. “There’s a new DJ.”

Molly laughed, and flung an arm around Jester’s shoulders. “Stick with me, dear. I’ll fill you in. But Fjord isn’t allowed to know. Not because he works downstairs,” Molly added quickly, “but because I just love seeing him like this.” Then he turned towards Fjord and winked. “Tell Beau she’s welcome up here any time, and I’m sure I could rope Yasha into showing her around.”

As the half-orc rolled his eyes, Jester giggled harder and nodded excitedly. “Ooh, I can’t wait! Oh, but first,” she said, quickly tapping Molly on the nose, “I have a message from Caleb. Well, more or less. Basically if you two are going to be friends, you need to know that he never uses his cell. If you need to talk to him, you gotta go through Nott.”

Molly had a brief flashback to the night before, when three feet of narrow-eyed, suspicious green protectiveness had glared up at him from behind scraggly bangs and a tattered brown hoodie. He thought about Caleb. He sighed.

“Alright, alright,” Molly conceded. “No pain no gain, I suppose. Now, a tour! Come on, I know just where to start.”

“Oh?”

“Oh yes. The costume room.”

•

“What’re you doing back down here so soon?” Beau asked, raising an eyebrow. “I thought you and Jester were going to go fuck in the back room?”

Fjord’s ears turned a deep, deep shade of green, and he dejectedly made his way around the bar. “First off all, we weren’t going to do that,” he muttered. “Secondly, Molly stole her. He’s showing her the decorations ‘n whatever now.”

Beau, leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, shrugged. “Hey, at least she’s happy, right?”

Fjord sighed, but this did seem to brighten his mood. “Yeah, I guess so,” he agreed, and then gave Beau a sly grin. “Yasha’s up there right now too, by the street level door. Molly says she might give you a tour if you asked nicely. AndI don’t think she goes on break for a while, so if you wanted to sneak up there…?”

Beau’s cheeks colored, and she quickly looked down at the ground. “I...er...nah. Nah, it’s alright. But um...was she wearing that sleeveless shirt?”

Fjord chuckled, and nodded.

“Fuck me running,” sighed Beau, and let her arms uncross. “Damn.”

•

“Caleb, why are you on the floor?” Nott asked as she climbed through the window. Living on the third floor never broke her habit of unconventional entry.

He looked up, and worry instantly spiked through her chest. That glassy-eyed expression usually was a signal that something was wrong. She quickly made her way over, and put a hand on his shoulder.

“Are you alright? Is...is there anything wrong?”

He nodded, and sighed. “Yorda spoke to me today.”

“...um...alright? What did she say?”

“She cut down my hours. We are now operating on two less days of salary.”

Nott was quiet for a moment. Then she carefully wiggled an arm between his back and the wall, and pulled him into a hug.

“It’s okay,” she muttered. “We...we’ll be fine. You’ll figure it out and oh, hey!”

She broke away, and yanked her pouch out. “Look at this! Look, I got a bunch of stuff today, and it might even be real! Maybe this will help.”

Caleb, who had untensed slightly after her embrace, managed a small smile. “That’s very good, spatz. I am sure they will help quite a bit, we can go see Oglen tomorrow.”

“Great!” beamed Nott with relief. “I can—”

Her phone buzzed. She frowned, and pulled it out.

Today 8:19PM

Molly Tealeaf: hello there Nott

She blinked, and rubbed at her eyes. Maybe the cold air of the apartment was messing with her vision. When she looked back down at the screen, she frowned. It was Molly.

Nott TB: what do you want

There was a brief pause, and the “...” icon let Nott know her response had the desired effect.

Molly Tealeaf: straight to the point i see alright Molly Tealeaf: i was told that if i need to contact caleb you are the person to go to Molly Tealeaf: actually apparently via phone you are the only person to go to

She smirked slightly at that. Next to her, Caleb peered over her shoulder at the tiny screen.

Nott TB: you are correct why do you need him

There was another pause.

Molly Tealeaf: id like to arrange a meeting with him Molly Tealeaf: i need to give that coat back Molly Tealeaf: and i want to treat him to coffee tomorrow to thank him for letting me borrow it

She rolled her eyes, and Caleb spoke.

“Who is that? What are they saying?”

Nott passed her cell over. “It’s Molly. He wants to meet up tomorrow and return your coat and buy you coffee.”

Caleb blinked. There was something stirring at the back of his mind, but he couldn’t entirely pinpoint what it was. “He wants to return my coat and buy me coffee?”

Nott shrugged. “I guess.” And then she brightened and said, “Hey, you should go! You need to relax, I bet, and you love coffee. And free things. And that coat was a present from Jester. She’d be sad if you didn’t get it.”

Caleb rubbed his chin. He glanced down at the phone, and handed it back to Nott. “Al...alright, I suppose. I guess I would not have had anything to do tomorrow anyway.”

“Great!” Nott said. “I’ll let him know.”

Caleb nodded. “Do that, please. I will...um...I will go sort out my closet, now. Excuse me.”

And then he got up, and walked into the bedroom. Nott heard the curtain that divided the room in two slide shut.

She looked back at her phone.

Molly Tealeaf: please tell me you aren’t ignoring me Molly Tealeaf: do you hate me Molly Tealeaf: nott please if anything just let me swing by and get the coat Molly Tealeaf: nott please

She sighed.

Nott TB: he’s in Nott TB: if the coffee place is far he’ll need a ride Nott TB: im watching you mister Molly Tealeaf: uh Molly Tealeaf: thank you Nott TB: dont mention it pick a time tomorrow bye

And before Molly could type out a response, she grinned smugly to herself, put the phone away, and skipped off to bed.

#critical role #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #caleb widogast #mollymauk tealeaf #nott #beauregard #fjord #jester #yasha #widomauk #beauyasha #fjorjester #text #jay writes #something new for me and you #modern au #magic exists

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pbandjesse · 6 years

Text

Im having a sleepy day. But i have the heat on and im on my flannel pjs and im drinking a milkshake out of my cactus cup and things are good.

Since it was the day after an overnight it's a 10 hour work day and a day off all in one. So tha2gs pretty nice. And i did sleep okay last night. I was just really tired so that helped. I stayed up and talked to Jordan for a bit but it was raining and cold and i was looking forwaed to getting some rest.

I keep losing my new chapstick. Last night somehow misplaced it and I spent almost a half an hour looking for it. I got in change so I thought maybe I dropped it there. I was in and out of the ship and Museum and I was everywhere. I couldn't find it. I eventually found it in the goat Locker where the lost and found is. Because I taken a hoodie that was in there. And then the box of Lost and Found stuff fell on top of me so it must have knocked my Chapstick under the ground at some point while I was in there cleaning it up. I was just glad to find it again.

It was a very cold last night. I was okay and my sleeping bag and extra flannelly blanket. But I still got woken up a few times because I was Tangled or my sock fell off. When I woke up at 2 a.m. to use the bathroom somebody's phone was going off and just making all this noise. So I had to go and find the person. And I ended up just pulling their phone out of their sweatshirt pocket that was hanging up on the wall and turning the phone off. And then at some point there was a big crash. It sounds like it came from above us and no one came down to see what was going on or tell us something that happened so Jordan.

I felt okay in the morning when my alarm went off. I went and got washed and fix myself up. I mostly just court all the clothes I brought so still very cold. And then I went to make the breakfast and Jordan went to wake everybody up. It was an okay morning. Cold still. Not as rainy. I did the gun drill and had the kids run the actual program themselves. Calling the commands and stuff. It's a one little girl was so small and have the softest voice. It was a very funny seeing her do all the commands. But she did a really good job. We're under the gun drilled 5 or 6 times and they got really fast by then. It was fun watching them do it. The mom was dropped one of the employment in the harbor but she didn't so it was all good.

Jordan to the firing. We had a misfire for the first one again probably just because of water in the barrel. And then I finish cleaning up. And everybody went home. Me and Jordan were there until about 9:30 finishing paperwork and helping Frank clean. It was a fine day. I somehow lost my Chapstick again. But I didn't end up finding it was all the way down on the ship. While I was walking around the ship I was looking for trash and just making sure everything was away and I was in the hold and I notice that there is a big piece of wood on the ribs. That I don't remember being there. I'm staring at it for a while and I'm like could that be what made the sound last night? And I just couldn't figure out if I remember it being there. But I decided I would just let Jordan know.

I go upstairs and I tell Jordan hey like I don't know did you hear that bang and he thought maybe it was the sign that's on the top deck which sometimes does get knocked over which make the sound. But he said he would go look. He was like that was not there. So I went down and take pictures of it which is what you see above. And we sent them to Amy and to the site manager and they were like well that's not good so yeah a big piece of consolation fell down last night. No idea what they'll do about that.

We headed back over to take me to drop everything off. During help me finish my quiz that I had to fix. And then I bite home. I looked crazy because I had my blanket wrapped around me. Because my jacket wasn't warm enough to keep the rain out. But I got home and I wasn't too Frozen or wet. I got a shower and I made an egg sandwich. And I got into bed. James had gone to go get his bike fixed but he was going to come see me right afterwards. And he got here around noon.

I have been home for over an hour at that point but I just wasn't able to fall asleep. I think because I knew he was coming and my brain was just like got to stay awake. Can't waste the day. Because I knew he had to go to an overnight at 4. So we weren't getting a lot of time today and tomorrow is going to be very similar. But he came and we laid in bed and talked. It was really nice to see him. I had a weird moment where I was so delirious and he didn't look like himself for a second. And it kind of threw me off. But it was really nice being with him. And eventually I was able to fall asleep.

We got out of bed around 2 and went to work at my studio. It's easier to keep that room warm in the daytime when I need to be doing work rather than sit in the living room. My bedroom is okay to heat but the living room is a little hard with having the big hole in the ground to leading to the basement. So we work down there and I work on necklaces while he took photographs of pieces that are going up on the app see. I worked on the fantasy hockey boys drawing. He helped me figure out which ones I needed to change. And it was fun looking at the actual photos with him compared to my interpretations. I got a big kick out of that. He says he's going to share it with the guys he's playing the league with. So I'm excited to hear that feedback as well. It's such a silly little project but I'm really enjoying doing it. I like thinking my pencil drawings. But I don't usually have much inspiration for drawing so having a solid project was nice.

James left here around 3 so he can get something to eat and I haven't up ordering take-out that I regretted. I mean it was fine I just don't really want to eat as much fried food as I have been. So I'm going to make an effort to not eat out as much this week or at least not fried things. Like soup and stuff will be okay, salads. But the last two things I've gotten eating out I felt bad about. I did get a big enough Pizza that I can have two more meals out of it so I don't feel as bad about how much it cost but I still am trying to not eat as much greasy food. Because she's making me feel bad. I'm going to go to the grocery store in the morning and get eggs and cheese. I'll probably try to get some like quick races as well and maybe some soup so I won't have to buy things outside of my apartment.

I spent basically the rest of the night in my studio. I worked on art for a while. And I painted a little. I cuddled with sweet pea a lot and I started reading. It was like the first day since what feels like the spring that I've had the brain power or attention span to actually read. So that was nice. I really hope that I can get that back because while I had a great summer it's been a little hard that I haven't been actually reading. Cuz I love reading. But yeah it was just a nice night and my studio. I came up here about an hour ago and I've been watching videos and I made a milkshake. I think I'm going to do my eyebrows and get ready for bed. Tomorrow I want to wake up early so I can go to the store and then come back here. James is going to come back here after his over night. And if all goes according to plan we're going to carve our pumpkins finally. Because Halloween is in two days 3 days? We really need to get that. It's nice having pumpkins around but I would really like to carve them. But I'm just hoping for a nice day with my favorite boy. And hopefully I won't be cold and I can be comfortable and make fun things and it will be a good day. I hope you all have a good night tonight. Sleep well. Stay warm. Have fun.

#ootd #weirddog #cat #ship #museum #satuday #day off

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summerrrluvvv · 4 years

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Chapter 6:

Don’t forget to stream Summer Luv soundtrack on Spotify!

https://summerrrluvvv.tumblr.com/post/620701629119922177/music-featured-in-this-chapters-summer-luv

Day 5 in Miami

Tye:

I woke up bright and early to cook breakfast for me and Samar. Last night was not at all what I had expected but I am happy it happened cause now Samar would know how I really feel and how I don’t regret shit. I had Sleepy Brown’s “I can’t wait” blasting softly throughout the kitchen. I was making us breakfast sandwiches with tater tots. I danced around the kitchen drinking a hard mimosa i made with vodka and orange juice, let’s just say my life was about to change. I made our plates and before I could go get Samar he was already slowly walking into the kitchen. “Can we talk?” He asked. I turned down the music and sat on the bar stool. He looked at the food and awkwardly smiled. “Thank you, for making breakfast this morning, Um I want to apologize for last night I was drunk as fuck, I didn’t mean to take advantage of you Tye” He said. I shook my head. “No Samar, its fine. I wanted it” I told him. He rubbed his hand through his face to the back of his head. “It shouldn’t have happened Tye, you like my sister. I feel like I fucked my family, and no matter how many times I try to think of it being okay, it not. We can’t go there Tye. It would fuck up our dynamic. Shit fucked my head up” My heart started racing. I felt embarrassed as fuck. “I um, yeah your right. I just cooked this breakfast for my brother who I fucked” I said angry. He sighed. “This is why it was a mistake, Tye you got feelings now” He said. I faked a laugh, “Sure Samar the sex was so phenomenal that I fell so deep in love overnight, like nah I get it shit can’t happen again that’s cool just eat this breakfast nigga” I said. He grabbed my arm. “We cool Tye Tye?” He asked. I forced a smile. “Nigga of course, you my bro for life”. I started rolling me a blunt or two because I was embarrassed that things did not go as planned. We were just chilling and vibe in when Samar doorbell rang. He went to the door to get it and in walked two thick bitches. I rolled my eyes. “Hey Sammie, did you forget our afternoon swim?” This bitch said. I started laughing to myself you got to be kidding me. “No, I didn’t Tiff baby, I’m just chilling with my homie” He said. The bitch “Tiff” looked me up and down she smirked at me. “Oh homie, I thought this was one of your girls, whew thank goodness” She said. Samar looked at me, knowing what the fuck was going to happen next if he ain’t move this bitch out my face. “What you say?” I asked her as I stepped up to her. She playfully shrugged. “It was a jokey joke honey” She said. I grabbed a fist of her hair, and her lace was peeling up. “Whoaaa” Samar said. “Sammie get this bitch off of me!” She screamed. Her friend tried to grab my hair, but Samar was in the way. I let go of her “wig”. “I know you wasn’t swimming with this box braid head ass wig sis” I said before leaving to go the room to grab my shit and go. “Sammie make her leave” Tiff said. “Yo just chill, you did come up in here on that ra-ra shit”. I heard as I walked back in the kitchen to grab my liquor and my weed. “You ain’t leaving shit for me?” He asked. I shook my head. “Oh no sir you not sharing my weed and my liq with these hoes” I told him. I grabbed the keys to the jeep and slammed the door.

Samar:

“Tyeeee!” I yelled as I ran outside. She was putting her stuff in the jeep. “Yes?” She asked with her hands on her hip. She was putting her wavy hair into a bun on top of her head. For some odd reason, the facial expression she was making was doing something to me. Got me having feelings in my heart and my dick. “I’m sorry about shorty” I said. She shrugged. “I mean she almost got killed so you probably should” She said with an attitude. I smiled at her. “You going to come to my party on Friday?” I asked her. She shrugged her shoulders again. “Depends is “Tiff” coming?” She asked. I shrugged. “Maybe” I said. She laughed. “Well then My girls and I will be wearing our mugshot best” She said putting on her shades cause the sun was blazing in her face. “Samar its hot as a witches coochie and I’m irky as hell” She stated. I nodded. “Aight fam, just hit my line, or Ima come by and see your spot” I said to her. “Cool beans go fuck your bitch” She said before hoping into the jeep, and literally backed up on high speed through my driveway. I walked back into the house and I see that Tiffany and her friend Amika, had got butt ass naked. Tiff had fixed her lace front. “So, you ready to have some fun” She asked. I hesitated because I was not expecting to smash these thots right away. I still had Tye on me from last night. “Ladies let me shower first and I will meet yall for some fun in the pool” I said. Tiff pulled out some whip cream. “Okay Sammie” I shook my head cause they not about to fuck up my Airbnb pool with some whip cream. “We can use it just not in the pool” I said. She frowned at me. “Okay baby”. She came over to me and kissed me, then Amika came over and kissed me. I honestly was not even interested in whatever they were trying to do but I was going to do just to say I did it. I went upstairs to my room turned on my music on the room speaker. “Nova cane” by Frank Ocean played again sending me flash backs of last night as I showered. If the girls kissing me aint make my dick happy, thoughts of last night did. “Fuck, no that’s like family” I told myself. I got out the shower, dried off and just walked downstairs naked cause why not. “Yall ready?” I asked. The girl’s eyes got big looking at me, and they both nodded. This was going to be a long afternoon.

Ariana:

“So, this what you look when you wake up?” Anthony said. I woke up looking around crazy. “Did we?” I asked. He shook his head laughing. “Nah, aint my steelo mami, you not that type of girl” He said. I sighed thankfully, only cause if we did have sex and it was bomb I wouldn’t remember. Sex with Marlon was okay, so I hoped the next time I would have sex I would be checking into the E.R happily. I grabbed my phone to see it was 2:17 p.m. in the afternoon. “Shit, I got to go home” I said stressed. I instantly thought about Melody. “Oh my gosh!” I panicked. Anthony got up looking at me crazy. “What’s up baby girl?” He asked confused. I rubbed my hands through my hair calling Mel but she aint answer. “What happened to Melody last night?” I asked. He shrugged. “She said she was leaving and that’s it” He said. I still had on my outfit from the barbeque and so all I needed to do was slip on my sneakers. “Anthony, I need to get home to find Mel” I said. “Ri-Ri chill did you check her location?” He asked. I quickly looked at her location and I sighed in relief that she was home, and Tye was on the way to the house, and Zion was on some Island. “Whew child I almost thought I was going to be interviewed by Crime Watch Daily being the last person to see my best friend, oh Thank you Lord Jesus” I praised. Anthony started laughing. “Im glad to be witnessing this cute little meltdown” He said. I playfully pushed him. “I love my friends okay” I said. He nodded. “I see, how about we go grab some food and I take you home aight?” He asked. I nodded.

Anthony:

“Where are we going? I don’t eat shit I aint never had Anthony!” Ariana stressed. She was a picky little something I could tell already. She wanted I hop but I knew a little spot by the beach she would love called Patsys. “Patsys?” She read as we pulled up. I laughed. “This better be bomb “she said. We could sit anywhere so we chose to sit outside. I ain’t going to lie I finesse alot of women. I get all the draws in Miami, but Ariana was a challenge. I never had much of a challenge. I was vulnerable with her so that I enjoyed. She be gone soon we go our separate ways, but we had something for a moment, and I wanted that. I wanted her if even it was only an hour of her just making me laugh. “What?” She asked looking at me. I shrugged. “I like you a lot Ariana” I said saying her name with a little accent. She blushed. “I like you to Antonio” She said smiling. “My partner told me about this pajama party popping off his weekend, I want you there” I told her. She acted like she was thinking. “Pajama parties lead to butt naked nasty nastiness” She said doing a dance. I smirked. “Yeah but we just going for the vibes” I told her. She nodded. “Aight Ima be there looking real Ariana Secretish” She said. I loved how silly she was. We ordered our food and I waited to see if she would like it. “Sooo?” I asked her. She closed her eyes. “Okay this better than Ihop and waffle house on a drunk night” She told me. I smiled. “Seeeee mami, be open” I told her. “Mmmhm you were just lucky this time” She said. “I had a goodtime last night. I enjoyed seeing your family and your abuletia, it was really nice” She said. It felt good to know she enjoyed her time. Not many girls me my Familia. “Now abuletia breakfast beats anyplace” I told her cheesing. “So, nigga why are we at Patty’s?” She asked. I laughed. “Patsy’s girl” I said. She rolled her eyes. “That’s what I said” She said smirking. After we ate, I drove her back home, and we sat in the car making out a little bit. I wanted to do soo much more, but I couldn’t do that unless she was ready, and if she wasn’t, I still be fine with that.

Isaac:

“Mel, I left this morning because I didn’t want you to wake up with regret, of last night. I do not regret any of it though. I would be lying if I aint say I do again. It has been so long since I held you, and I forgot how good you feel and smell, so do not think I just dipped on you. I love you”

I pressed send on my phone to the message I sent Melody. I sat in my car, after I left her house. Thinking about last night. She tasted and felt so good. I even thought about waking her up to it this morning but knew her liquor guilt would probably kick in or would it. I know she want me as bad I want her. If not, then I had a challenge to win her heart. “We going to hit that margarita shop on the way to the beach?” Freddie asked. “Nah nigga lets go catch some hoes then go to beach, Yo Izzy you good?” Trey said. Trey and Freddie were my A1s since day 1. We were out here for Trey birthday. “Yeah, just in my head” I said. “Nah nigga where were you last night, who the hoe that got you in your head?” Freddie asked. “Yall chill man, shawty aint no hoe. You remember I told you I ran into Mel?” I asked. They nodded. “Ahh shit, you hit Melody?” Trey asked. I just looked at him. “Yoooo Izz, for real?” He asked again. I nodded. “I mean it’s been 6 months man, I seen her out here looking good as hell man all these feelings hit me like bullets. Shawty looking right and she still tight and I still love her man. I want her back” I said. Freddie shook his head. “This was supposed to be our weekend to fuck all the bad hoes man, you out here trying to be like a Morris Chestnut romance movie” He stressed. I shrugged. I met a couple bad hoes out here, but Melody been on my mind more than any other female. I fucked up in letting her go. “Man Fred, let him get his shorty back. Long as you slide me that Blasian girl number Izz” He told me. I smirked and sent him the number. “Maybe she going to be at the pajama party” Freddie said. I shrugged. “Maybe but we can still get lit and shit, for now Ima fall back and let her come to me” I said. We went to Margarita spot and was choppin it up with some females. Freddie and Trey wanted to take them back to our spot, but I was not with that shit. I kept thinking about Melody. Fuck it, I thought. I grabbed my keys and I dipped.

Melody:

I woke up with a pounding headache, and dehydration. I stood up in my bed, realizing that what happened was not a dream. Isaac did come over and we had sex, and it was not bad flashbacks, I kept getting butterflies at the thought of it. Last time I had sex was with him right before our breakup. I got up to get in the shower and get myself together, when I got out, I seen I had messages from Isaac.

I stood by the counter reading the message repeatedly, biting my lip. I thought about texting him back, but I did not know what to say. I was embarrassed kind of. As soon as I was about to text Isaac back. I got a text from Malachi letting me know he wanted to come gets me and take me on a date. At first, I was thinking I am just blowing this off cause last night I had sex with another man, and then i am going out with another. I heard the front door shut clearing my thoughts. I got up and left my room and I see Tye come up the stairs mad as fuck. “You good?” I asked her. She rolled her eyes. “Girl no, Samar and I had sex last night” She said. My eyes got big as hell because I was shook. She then palmed her face. I followed her into her room and sat on the bed. I was lowkey happy and confused because Samar and Tye had been best friends since Highschool and she been crushing on him for a minute, so why would she be mad. “Umm okay, wow okay so how was it, I mean I see your mad so what happened?” I asked concerned. I had a lot to share to, but my tea could wait. “We got drunk and fucked in his Airbnb kitchen and then this morning he woke up acting brand new saying it was a mistake he would never have sex with me cause I’m like his sister and it just made me disgusted, I was mad at myself I let him fuck me then tell me it was a mistake and he was disgusted by it” She stressed. I shook my head. “Then this motherfucker had two ugly big bitches come over and this bitch named Tiff tried me, girl I bought beat this bitch ass, and then I left but he came outside talking about he having a pajama party, and the bitch might be there” She snapped. “Why Samar do you like that out of all people, see all Niggas aint shit, how he fuck you then act like it was mistake clearly the attraction was there it’s just the liquor heightened it” I told her. She nodded her head. “I said the same thing and this nigga going to say I might catch feelings, like boy I been in love with you stop playing” She rolled her eyes. “Tye fuck him, test that nigga and see if he got feelings, if he jealous then he has feelings. Shit should feel different now” I told her. She nodded agreeing with what I was saying. “You right, Ima do it at the pajama party, so we gone see then” She told me.

I sighed and took the opportunity to just say what happened to me. “Well I had drunk sex last night too” I told her. She looked at me. “Boat Owner Nigga?” She asked. I shook my head. “Girl now you know” I told her. I was different then my friends, they could sleep with someone with no strings, but I had attachment issues. Tye looked at me searching for an answer. “Who else?!” She asked. “Isaac” I told her. She almost fell off the bed. “What?!” She yelled. I nodded. “After the party with Ari and Anthony I got lit and left and Isaac hit me up so I hit him back and then he drove me home, we talked and then I got drunk again and called him back and shit went down” I said having flashbacks. She looked at my face and smirked. “You loved every bit of it” She said. I nodded. “Yeah, it was passionate, intimate you know like he missed me, he wanted me” I told her. “Sooo now what?” She asked. I shrugged. “I’m confused I don’t know Tye. I can’t just take him back off words and good dick” I stressed. She sucked her teeth at me. “He aint letting you go, he bout to be on you heavy this whole trip and when we get back” She said. I showed her the text he sent me. “Oooooh bitch, he wants that old thang back, he is coming back for good so let them niggas know it’s his” She sang. She gave my phone back and I showed her Malachi text. “Drama alert! So, what you going to go on a date after your pussy still recovering from getting your guts rearranged?” Tye asked. I slowly nodded. “I mean why should I limit myself? Plus, I do not know if Isaac is serious” I said. She nodded. “Do what you want Mel, but Isaac seems serious and we both know Isaac don’t play about you and he can get really jealous” She said. I rolled my eyes. “Isaac aint my man, I can do as I please” I told her. “Well okay Ms. Thang” She said. Maybe this would go smoothly, hopefully they do not hang around the same circles. I had Tye help me pick out some fits to wear on my date with Malachi. I honestly was not looking forward to this, but I am down to see where this goes.

I heard the doorbell ring. I calmly walked downstairs although I was nervous as fuck, cause we agreed to meet at the beach. I opened the door revealing Isaac instead of Malachi. “Ummm?” I asked. He gave me a rose. “You were heading somewhere?” He asked. “Kind of” I said. My heart was beating. “Well cancel” He said. I was hesitant. “Yeah she’s free” Tye said behind me. I turned to her. She smirked at me. “We can just cancel, no problem. We can just Reschedule” She said, implying for me to reschedule with Malachi. “Yeah sure”. Isaac smirked and looked his lips looking fine as fuck. “Cool” He simply said. “Hold on” Tye said she grabbed me into the kitchen. She snatched my phone from my hand and started texting someone she then handed me the phone. She sent a message to Malachi. “Hi, I’m so sorry to do this but my best friend just got super drunk, I need to help her. Can we reschedule?” He replied saying. “No Problem, I understand. Gives me more time to plan the perfect night 🤪” He said. “Now go see what Isaac has planned” She simply said. I went back into foyer. He was fiddling with his hands, he pulled out some roses for me. “You always talked about wanting flowers” He said smiling. I blushed at the thought. “Thank you” I said. He held his hand out for mine, he led me to his car, and opened the door for me. “Thank you” I smiled. I was nervous especially after last night. “What made you want to do this?” I asked him when he got in. “Woke up still thinking about you, I needed to see you. Freddie and Trey wanted to kick it with these hoes, but I wasn’t with that shit” He said. “Wow I’m second option?” I joked. He sighed. “Nah, I just wanted you” He simply said. He turned on the music, “Calm Down” by A boogie started playing. He turned it up singing the chorus, and I sang along.

“Can we calm down and make love?

Get it Poppin' in the back of your Bentley truck

That vroom-vroom, that ooh-ooh, let's make up

Don't know why I can't let you go wit' no one

Nah, no one

'Cause I don't wanna fuss and fight

Oh baby, I wanna go ride it all night”

“Who put you on A boogie?” He asked smirking. “You nigga duh” I said laughing.

The weather was cooling down and the breeze was feeling nice. “Where are you taking me Isaac?” I asked. He smiled. “You going to see” He said. We pulled up at this place that was lit called “El Tucan Miami”. We parked the car and went inside the restaurant where we were seated. They had a live band playing Hispanic music, people were dancing. We ordered us a Texas Margarita pitcher. “So, tell me how you been girl?” Isaac asked. I smiled. “Well I got my own cute little apartment by camp creek, and of course my new job and still taking college classes. I recently got me a dog names Yoda; I just been living” I told him. He kept smiling. “I knew you boss up on me” He said. “I’m proud of you, I seen Tamia tag you in post and I aint seen you post nothing in a minute, I see you got your body together and your shinning. Melly I’m soo happy for you” He said. It felt good to know he seen my growth, it was one of the reasons we broke up because he felt I wasn’t growing, and he had a problem with females. You miss me?” He asked. I rolled my eyed. “Isaac, I did at first but then I got on my shit” I said. He nodded. “I miss you like crazy. Thinking about if somebody got you. Who are you sharing that big ass heart with? I cannot say I regret it cause we both had to grow. I finally got that cheating shit out my system, I stopped smoking everything” He told me. “I just feel all this is a sign” He said looking at me. “For what?” I asked knowing what he was going to say. “Us, like damn Mel. Why you so hard on a nigga?” He said to me. I looked down and smiled. “I’m not, like you left me. I begged you to stay Isaac like I don’t know what you want from me, to be the old Melody and be all over you?” I asked. He shook his head. “No, but do you still feel the same?” He asked looking me dead in my eyes. I wanted to tell him no, get up and walk out but If I told him yes what good would that do, I give up my power right? The power I finally had where the ball was in my court. “I don’t know Isaac?” I said looking down. I looked up at him smirking at me. “Then Ima just win your heart again” He shrugged. “No problem” He simply said. I looked at him smiling. “Yeah no problem” I said mimicking him. Oh, nigga this was going to be a challenge.

Zion:

After the daycation with Kyrel, I felt kind of out of my element. “You good?” He asked as he drove me back to my Airbnb. “You been quiet” He said. I was looking outside the window. I slightly smiled. “Just tired, we had a longggg night” I told him. I was tired as fuck, Ky and I had sex all night long. This morning he brought me breakfast in bed, and he told me he might be falling for me. Instantly my get the fuck ASAP mode kicked in. Anytime a nigga caught feelings for me, it was time to Ghost, but I was scared causs for the first time in a long time I had felt the feeling I didn’t want to feel the most, and that I might be falling too fast, and I’m a boss, I don’t fall for these niggas, I give them to the streets but for Ky. I would just give him to girl that deserved him. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I feel I have no choice. This was just a fling; I have to remind myself no to get attached. We arrived back at my place, and before I got out the car quickly to get my emotions together, Kyrel grabbed my hand and pulled me in for a kiss and just stared at me. “Zion you really pulling at my heart man. A nigga is crazy about you. I don’t want this shit to end” He said. I wanted to grab my bag and run. I sighed a little. I leaned in to kiss him again. “Just appreciate the now” I told him before getting out. “I’m call you later” He said. I grabbed my stuff as he waited for me to go into the house. Tye was on the couch watching tv and drinking wine when I walked in. “How was the night?” She asked from the living room. I dropped my bag and threw myself on the couch. “Girl my kitty hurt, I’m exhausted, and I need to get rid of Kyrel fast” I said. She looked at me crazy. “Why? He’s so sweet and charming and he is fine and infatuated with you” She said. I nodded. “That’s the problem Tye, I hit and quit, this man wants to be married by this weekend” I stressed. She smirked. “You like that boy quit playing you just scared that’s it” She said. I groaned. “Yeah, I like him a lot too but I can’t get hurt, when I leave Tye I’m going to be hurt and heartbroken cause I know it ended and I don’t know if I will find this again and I have to prepare myself before I allow that to happen ever again” I wanted to puke. “Well do what you got to do Z” She told me. “How was movie night?” I asked. Tye palmed her face. “Girl I-“She cut herself off laughing to herself a little. “What Tye?” I asked interested, I got closer to her. She looked at me. “Girl I fucked Samar” She said. I almost fell off the couch. “You said you did what?” I asked making sure I heard right. She nodded. “I keep repeating it to myself too, uhhh it was the best and worst sex of my life, it was drunkingly spontaneous, but now he feels shit awkward, he called me his sis” She chugged her wine. “Girl, he gone want to hit again with no relations soon watch, cause it pussy he aint ever had to finesse to hit” I told her. She smirked. “I’ll take that L, but when Mel gets home let her tell u the Tea she got” She said. I looked at her suspiciously. “I aint spilling tea that aint mine” She said smirking. I laughed playfully pushing her. “Okayy sis” That night I took a good long shower, Kyrel texted me but I didnt reply. I would just text him in the morning.

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imsarabum · 7 years

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Responses to Part 13 I Won’t Stop You (M) // Jeon Jungkook, Vampire!AU asks~

Please ‘Keep Reading’ to find my response to your ask ^^ As always, I have copied and pasted all asks into this post in regards to last night’s chapter to avoid clogging up people’s dashboards and to avoid spoilers for those who may still wish to read the chapter. Thank you ^^

ALSO I have included asks I received to do with IWSY in the hours leading up to before I posted it because there was quite a few! So if you sent in an ask to do with IWSY and I didn’t post it - it will be in this post!

Anonymous said: When ''i wont stop you '' come out i really am inpatient?XD P.S i love you! YOU ARE THE BEST I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU i love you (now i told every thing whats on my mind!)(sorry my BAD English:(T.T )

Awww I love you too babe! I’m so happy that you get really excited :3 I really hope you enjoyed the chapter :D And your English is great! Don’t apologise ><

Anonymous said: i've had an awful day today but i know you are going to cheer me up today!!! especially with where the last chapter ended ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I’m sorry to hear you had an awful day :( But I really hope the chapter cheered you up! Thank you so much for reading :3

Anonymous said: TUESDAY IS THE ONLY DAY I LOOK FORWARD TO BUT TODAY WE HAVE A SNOW DAY AND I CAN READ YOUR NEW CHAPTER IN PEACE !!! LOVE YOUR WORK :)))) HAVE A GOOD DAY 💕

OMG YAY A SNOW DAY! I love playing in the snow c: I hope you’ll build lot’s of snowmen! I really hope you enjoyed the chapter love ^^ I hope you have a good day too!!

Anonymous said: It's 6:05 PM, i'm on my period, the cramps are driving me crazy, but I'm so excited that i will stay awake for IWSY bc it's the only series i like so much that i will drop everything to read it 😂❤ __loves the new anon (not really new anymore)

Owwww no :c Periods suck so bad...I will probably be getting mine in a bit because my back is starting to hurt as it always does :( I really hope you enjoyed reading the chapter dear! I hope it can ease your cramping pain a little >< heh, thank you so much my love!

Anonymous said: I'M SO EXCITED FOR IWSY!!!!🎉

I hope you enjoyed it! Yay!!

Anonymous said: So I live in China at the moment and I actually set my alarm for 5:30am just to wake up to the new chapter! Literally the only thing I look forward too during the week!

Ahh that’s so awesome that you live in China! I really want to visit so many places in China U_U And oh my god...I FEEL BAD BECAUSE YOU ARE MISSING OUT ON PRECIOUS SLEEP D: But I’m glad that you look forward to it >< Thank you so much and I hope you enjoyed the chapter!

@animeimmortal said I have an essay due tomorrow and i finished it early today just so i could wait for you to release the next part. i LovE THis FIc MoRE ThAn mY liFE P.S. my friend would like to know where did you get the idea for the fic from because the whole thing is bloody amazing

Oh my goodness haha well, I’m glad it was motivation for you to finish it early! You’ll do a good job on it ^^ Thank you so much and I hope you enjoyed this chapter! In regards to your friend’s question, I originally received as ask with a request for me to write Vampire smut. But, I had already been planning a Vampire series since the beginning of 2016. So I just added their request into my series to suit both things ^^

Anonymous said: ITS LIKE 1:30AM HERE AND I HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW BUT I CANT WAIT FOR YOU TO UPLOAD IWSY JDJSNCND

OH MY GOD GO TO SLEEP I WILL FIGHT YOU ASDFGHJK BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE CHAPTER IF YOU MANAGED TO STAY AWAKE D: SERIOUSLY LOL GO TO SLEEP YOU CHEEKY LITTLE

Anonymous said: its time for jungkook to make me feely his willy, im ready -daisy

Daisy, you are KILLING me with this penis jokes. I can’t *dies laughing*

@cupofcammiemile said: I'm actually so hype for the next part of I Won't Stop You and I'm waiting for it as patiently as I possibly can but I'm like fidgeting and coworkers are actually asking me what's wrong 😂 I hope you have a good night!!❤

Ahhh your co-workers are concerned for your well-being! lol~ I hope you enjoyed last night’s chapter my dear ^^ Thank you so much for reading *hugs*

@wang-banana said: IM SO EXITED FOR THE NEXT PART OF I WONT STOP YOU IVE BEEN MAITING SO DILIGENTLY OMG 😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

I know you meant ‘waiting so diligently’ but I literally SCREAMED AND CRIED BECAUSE I JUST HAD AN IMAGE OF JACKSON WITH A BANANA MATING VERY DILIGENTLY (BC OF YOUR USERNAME) AND I LITERALLY CAN’T BREATHE I’M A BAD PERSON OH MY GOD. Aside from that, I really hope you enjoyed the chapter babe c:

@mahirookumura said: I can literally hear a clock in my head 'cause I'm fcking EXCITED FOR IWSY!!!

I hope you enjoyed it my love c:

@coppertopging said: We're so close!!! My body is ready but i don't think my mind ever will be lol.

That just reminded me of ‘My mind’s telling no~ but my body’s tellin’ me yeeeees!” lol x) I hope you enjoyed the chapter sweetie ^^

Anonymous said: I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for what is to come in the next chapter of IWSY because I know that if I don't I will die of the feels

Ahhh I hope you enjoyed the chapter if you read it sweetie! I tried to make it as romantic and steamy as possible c:

Anonymous said: IM SO EXCITED FOR THE NEXT PART OF IWSY HUYGTFR your smut is always amazing ive never been sO excited to sINN -Mishy

Hello Mishy! I really hope you enjoyed the smut in this chapter my love ^^ Thank you so much for loving my smut! haha c:

@voguekate said: Whaha i am refreshing it bc i waited for this with excitement for this day

I hope it lived up to your expectations lovely! ^.^ I’m so glad you were excited for it!

Anonymous said: Part 13 of I Won't Stop You was so perfect!!! I'm fangirling omg so hard lol. Thank you for writing this series!

Ahhh thank you so much >< I’m so glad you liked it and thought it was perfect! You’re welcome, and thank you for reading it!

@loverofotome said: AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! AMAZING! I LOVE YOU NEVER STOP BEING INCREDIBLE! 😘

asdfghj I’m so glad you liked it :) I love you too sweetie! Thank you so much for reading it :3

Anonymous said: Okay I just arrived home after a 9 hour flight and the first thing I did was read the new chapter of "I Won't Stop You" and THANK YOU I'M IN LOVE AND SERIOUSLY YOU MAKE EACH AND EVERYONE OF MY TUESDAYS! Yeah, I think that's all I just wanted to say that I loved it. Can't wait for the next one ❤️❤️

Wow a 9 hour flight, you must be exhausted my love! Thank you for reading it and enjoying it. It really means a lot to me! I hope you get some rest after your flight. I can’t wait to post the next one! c:

@voguekate said: Omfg IWSY istg, this was so good omfg.... idk what to say

Thank you so much my love! (btw, I answered your other ask too~ I hope you could find it within this post!

Anonymous said: Bruh.. BRuh.. BRUh.... BRUHHHH..... i loved the chapter!!!! And I did not expect them confessing

Yes! Jungkook just feels the emotion so intensely that he knows he loves her with all his soul. Conversely, the reader is just so besotted by him and the fact he is the first person for her to ‘give herself to’ (for want of better words) as well. Thank you for reading the chapter my love! ^^

@doubletroublesince1994 said: OH. MY. LORD. THIS WAS PERFECT AND EXACTLY HOW I IMAGINE MY FIRST TIME. YOU JUST PUT MY FANTASIES INTO THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WORK OF ART. I LOVE YOU.

AHHH I’M SO GLAD I COULD DO THAT FOR YOU! To be honest, I really wish my first time could have been like this ahhh >< So I just write about how I wish it could have went! It’s pretty ideal, right? c: lol I love you more chick! I’m so happy that you liked it, and thank you so much for reading *hugs*

@animeimmortal said: First of all: I AM DEAD BRING ME BACK TO LIFE FOR THE NEXT PART second of all: I SAW THE TITLE BEING MENTIONED I SAW IT!!!! third of all: Beautiful ❤

*gets defibrillator* IT’S OKAY I GOT YOU. But...maybe next week...it will have the same effect? Possibly...hopefully...stronger? *winks* HEHE. AND YAY YOU PICKED UP ON THE TITLE THANK YOU :) lol thank you so much for reading my love (btw, I answered your other ask in this post too so I hope you didn’t have too much trouble finding it babe!)

@audreymv said: YES I LOVE THIS NEW CHAPTER SO MUCH. LIKE ME LEIKEY ALOT. You really are great at writing and let me tell you you did not disappoint. I love it so much

AHH THANK YOU SO MUCH! You are always filled with wonderful compliments for me and it makes me grin so much :) And! I hope you will like next weeks chapter, too ;) muhaha.

Anonymous said: OK I WAS SO PUMPED FOR THE VAMPIRE JUNGKOOK FIC AND THANK YOU SO MUCH IM LITERALLY DYING INSIDE 😭😭😭💕💕💕💕

I’m really happy you liked it my dear ^^ Thank you for reading it! :3

Anonymous said: Chapter 13 has got me GONE! I never read a fan fiction with such amazing vocabulary and grammar, I applaud you 👏💕

Ahhh sometimes there will be little grammar mistakes but I always try my best to proof-read everything! Just silly little, natural mistakes lol damn colloquialisms! Thank you so much for reading my love :)

@im-so-scared-aaaa said: Truthfully, I've never read something as beautifully writed as iwsy 🙉 I love you and your writing, keep going ! (Excuse my english, I'm french 🙊) Good night

Thank you so much my darling! Merci beaucoup mon chérie! (sorry for my French, I was never very good at it in school :c) hehe~ And your English is great so don’t worry at all! ^.^

@deangetoutofmyspleen said: SARAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA PART 13 IM DEAD AF WOWOWOWOWOWOW (side note, i read all twelve parts last week at like 4am so i've been WAITING FOR THIS) YOU NEVER CEASE TO AMAZE IM SCREECHING. MY FACE IS SO RED AND IM IN PUBLIC ASDFGJKGKGKTKGNGMHMMHKYK

YOU READ IT IN PUBLIC OH MY GOODNESS ASDFGHJK I’m so happy you enjoyed it c: And there’s more where that came from! :3 Thank you for reading it babe ^^ it means so much to me!

@mahirookumura said: THERE IT GOES ”I – I WON'T STOP YOU, PLEASE…”

Very cleverly spotted my love c:

Anonymous said: Ahh~ The new chapter of I Won't Stop You was just perfect... The wait was so worth it~ Gentle Jungkook was so sweet... Though I do hope the rough side comes out for a while hehehe. Anyways, the ending was really really cute and I'll happily await for the new chapter next Tuesday~ Can't wait to see the story's progress~ As always, stay healthy, don't stress and keep up the hard work!!

He was very gentle indeed! And don’t worry...perhaps, you will get to see his rough side next week? ;o Hmm?! ^^ Thank you so much for reading lovely. I will try to! I hope you have a brilliant week and do your best too! ^^

@cottonxiu said: Today I was learning for 7hours straight bcs I'm having an exam tomorrow and I'm pretty dead rn XD BUT I knew you were posting a new Ch. so when I read it.. It saved my day. Thanks ❤ And oh my lord a chapter full of his ringle dingle 😏 Bless you XD

Oh my god make sure to take a rest! 7 hours is a long time, I don’t want you getting sick or becoming over-tired! :( A chapter full of ringle dingle...I am dying at everyone’s penis jokes ya’ll are too much but it makes me laugh so much LORD lol Thank you so much for reading and I hope you will enjoy the next one too ^^

Anonymous said: NVH FHDUHDCN EANHV THEY SAID I LUV U NO OMG HOW COULD U DO THIS TO MY HEART CHAPTER THIRTEEN OF IWSY WAS SO 👌🏼 AND THE SMUT WAS LIKE DAMN (☝︎ ՞ਊ ՞)☝︎ ( ͡ ° ͜ ʖ ͡°)

Love is in the aiiiiirrrr~ heh~ Thank you so much for reading my love! I hope you will enjoy the next chapter too ;)

Anonymous said: OMG 'I won't stop you' just keeps getting better and better honestly I knew this was going to be good because I've read some of your other scenarios but Oh My Lord it's amazing, how many more chapters are you thinking of doing or is it just as many as it takes? ❤️

I’m so happy you think it keeps getting better and better c: I can’t wait for the plot to unfold more and see what you all think of it! Thank you so much babe :) And I’m honestly not sure how many chapters there will be, so I think - as you said, it will just be as many as it will take ^^ :D

Anonymous said: The day was shitty but we have DA SMUT. My day is still shitty, but bearable now thank you - wedding anon

I’m so sorry that you had a shitty day *hugs* you can always talk to me about it! What kind of wife would I be if I didn’t console my partner in their time of need? ^^ Heh~ Thank you for reading it babe ^^

Anonymous said: Why do I get the felling y/n is a vampire, or part vampire or something not human? 🤔 I kinda feel sorry for mugsy, the poor cat probably heard the whole ordeal go down in jungkook room! 😏😂anyhow, keep up the amazing work, Wednesday mornings are now my fav, waking up to a new update! - (new anon) 53669 💗

Ooooh you’ll just have to wait to find out! But I loved reading your analogy on it :3 It’s always so interesting for me to find out what people think is going to happen! And ikr...hopefully Mugsy was fast asleep and didn’t hear a thing...(lol). Thank you so much for reading new anon 53669! heh ^^

@from502to859 said: OH MY GOD, you really outdid yourself with the latest chapter of IWSY, it was absolutely worth the wait!!! That was... top-shelf smut!

Ahhh thank you so much my dear! Top-shelf smut wow ^^ That’s an achievement for me indeed hehe :) I hope you will think that next week’s is the same! ^^ Thank you for your wonderful compliment and for reading as well :3

Anonymous said: Okay so I usually don't read smut because I'm tryna stay innocent LOL but I really love your plot line and I skipped through most of this chapter bc yknow.. smut but I know it was well written of course BUT OMG HE SAID HE LOVES HER I'M CRYING

OOOOOH be careful! Because, in amongst that smut was some very important details about Vampire life~ You might feel a little lost or confused later on in the story if you missed those bits! But I’m glad you enjoyed it nonetheless despite not being a fan of smut ^^ Thank you my love!

Anonymous said: IT WAS SO GOOD FAM!! OH MY SWEEEEEET LORDIIIIIEEEE JEBUS!! IT WAS SO GOOD

Weeee thank you so much babe! I’m so happy you liked it c:

Anonymous said: WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I feel so bias wrecked right now! I'm always and will be loyal to V but that new chapter was just a guilty pleasure for me......

Uh oh, don’t tell Taehyung! lol don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret :3 Thank you so much for reading my love!

Anonymous said: brb have to go to church after that smut *fans self* - panda anon

Listen, if I went to church I would burst into flames as soon as I set foot inside LOL. I hope you enjoyed it, panda anon! Thank you for reading :3

Anonymous said: daMN IWSY IS SO GOOOOOOD!!!!!! I just read it all in one sitting and I read really slowly so it took me all day oops. Ur an amazing writer though, like, this whole series has me squealing any time anything happens. I also don't read much so I'm impressed that I'm finally hooked on a fanfic! I'll probably be yelling and also in a coffin waiting to be lowered into my grave until next week so see you then oops

Oh my goodness you read it all in one sitting >< I’m so impressed by that! Thank you for taking the time to do that and then tell me! :) Please don’t go in a coffin >< I’d be very sad! heh thank you for reading my dear and I hope you look forward to the future chapters ^^

Anonymous said: I AM FUCKING DEAD. I AM FUCKING DECEASED. MY BODY IS ROTTING IN THE GROUND AND IM TYPING THIS FROM MY GRAVE AS WE SPEAK. I WONT STOP YOU IS MY FAV FANFIC AND I LOVE YOUR WRITING. I CANT FUCKING WAIT TIL NEXT WEEK OH GOD THAT WAS TOO GOOD. BLESS. FUCK I WANNA CRY CUZ IT WAS THAT GOOD.

WAIT - SO THERE IS LIFE AFTER DEATH? ALRIGHT, COOL, LIT, DYING DOESN’T SEEM SO BAD NOW lol~ Ahghbsdkgs thank you so much my little flower ^^ I’m so happy you enjoyed it! And..I think you might enjoy next week’s chapter too then :3 hehe~

@suga-buns said: IWSY is breaking me Omg. And that sex scene was super well written Omg props to you. Can't wait until next week's chapter!

Thank you so much babe! I’m so happy that you thought it was well written ^^ I hope you’ll enjoy next weeks chapter too c:

@coppertopging said: I was wrong... i wasn't ready for any of that. Damn...

YOU WASN’T READDYYYY (sorry, vine will have forever ruined my life with that sentence) lmao but I hope it was enjoyable nonetheless my dear! Thank you for reading it :D

Anonymous said: The new "I Won’t Stop You" chapter was amazing! Wow!! I thought you would skip writing their special night together in detail because that's how the preview sounded in chapter 12's ending, but I'm so glad there's a entire chapter dedicated to it! ♥♥♥

Oh my goodness no! I’m evil but I’m not THAT evil~ I wouldn’t do that to you guys hehe ^^ I wanted to dedicate this entire chapter to really prove how Y/N has affected Jungkook in such a way that he is able to be so loving, caring and tender with her; as he was never able to so such things before. Thank you so much for reading lovely! ^^

Anonymous said: Oh my FucKiNG gOD sarA. Tht was literally gold. Omg 4.5k of pure gold omg I loved it I am dying for more. Omg. Fuck. Oh MY gOd I am at a loss for words.

You’re dying for more? Maybe your wish will be granted next week - and a little more....rough too? c; heheh~ Thank you so much for reading this chapter babe! :D

Anonymous said: i love the fact that jungkook wants to be agressive and go all rough on her but hes so considerate knowing its her first time lmao the smut was so sweet and nice i think im... inlove

Yes! Thank you for picking up on that! He just cares about her so much and he can’t explain how he is able to love because of her - but he wanted to show her he is capable of doing that, thanks to her ^^ Hehe, thank you so much for reading it and I’m glad you enjoyed this chapter too! :D

Anonymous said: so the smut scene is on part 13 COINCIDENCE???? I THINK NOT!!!!

*GASP* *SHOCK* ;o

Anonymous said: I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT PART I WONDER HOW IS IT GOING TO BE LIKE BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM WHEN THEY GO TO WORK THE NEXT DAY LMAO

Hmmm yes...I wonder what will happen the next morning...;) Thank you for reading my love! :D

Anonymous said: I WAS SO SCARED I THOUGHT JK WAS GONNA END UP BITING ME ... god now im wonderin if tht could actually happen 🤧🤧🤧

Oh my goodness yes c: Idk about anyone else but the thought of that actually makes me feel a little hot >< haha I’m possibly just very kinky whoOps~

@jynxy24 said: THE SMUT HAS ARRIVED!!!!!! @-@ Is it wrong that I grinned the whole time i was reading it? BTW THE CHAPTER WAS SO GREAT GAWDDDDDDD!! Stay awesome at writing and life, Sara. LOVE YA!♥♥

YES THE SMUT IS HERE FINALLY! No it’s not wrong at all, I’m happy to know that you grinned the entire time! :3 Thank you so much for your lovely compliments my dear :D And thank you for reading it as well! I love you more ^^

Anonymous said: I love I won't stop so muchh I can't wait for the next chapter!!

Thank you so much my dear! I hope you will enjoy the next chapter too :D

Anonymous said: "Not hung like a horse," AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh

LMAO I’m so sorry x)

Anonymous said: Hi Sara! So I was thinking, maybe y/n is the daughter of a vampire and a human, and that's why she's so special? And maybe that is the reason why Yoongi wants her, maybe she has some kind of powers idk. I love guessing things of this beautiful serie! ❤ ~mina

I won’t stay whether you are wrong or right because I would like it to be a surprise for everyone! But I love when people tell me what they think because it can say in my head ‘wrong’ or ‘right’ hehe ^^ Thank you so much for reading darling ^^

@deboracorrea25 said: I'm touched... I'm wordless... This chapter of "I won't stop you" was just perfect!!

Thank you so much for your kind words sweetie ^^ I’m so happy you liked it!

Anonymous said: The latest update of I Won't Stop You was so good I'm shook!! There was the perfect amount of smut and fluff, it could not have been better! You can be proud of yourself :))

Ah thank you so much for your kind and sweet words to me :) I’m so happy you enjoyed the chapter. Although, I hope I can evoke similar feelings next week - but...more roughness? ;) Thank you so much!

#I Won't Stop You #IWSY #Responses #Asks #imsarabum

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astraltraveller · 6 years

Text

not an end to all the endings.

so i guess the last time i made a post about this, it was late aug ish. early sept maybe. i remember being crushed after. i remember feeling used because rarely does a guy want to have sex with me and not want to date or try someting. especially when the guy seems like a good guy. and i remember so fondly of the hope that surged the night of. when i got that apology msg and actually felt like maybe there was something there. my heart lept. it surged. it was a rushing and hopeful feeling, the feeling I had rarely exdperieneced from my history of being with someone who didn’t nkow hwo to appreciate me or apologize for their mistakes. itw as such a breath of fresh air and deep down inside i had a feeling that he was going to do a 180. i din’t think he would ask me out to date me, but i knew it would be at least asking for a second chance. and a second chance it was. i remember not expecting to go to a nice place at all. i remember walking agood 15 min to a nice, hipster, refreshing, new start place. I wanted to say that iwanted to go back ot that time but i dont know if i really do. I dont know if anything will change.i rmember tryign ot put off the conversation because i knew what was coming and my heart was saying this is it and my head was saying this is too good to be true. And i had just finished being hurt, i didn’t think there would be a second call. I just didn’t want to deal. When it finally poured out what was really up, intnerally i was jumping for joy because it was even better than waking up from a bad dream. It was as if you turned back time and could change it all. Coming out of a bad dream means just that. It doesnèt affect what actually hpapens. Fror me on that day, something actually changed. Iwas happy. I was grateful. I never felt that way before about a guy being so forward with an apology. it felt so nice. it felt so mature. for a while i believed this was something different. it was like a fresh start. I felt hopeful, I felt liked. I felt like someone made a mistake and was trying to get me back. it was like with soumil but … more raw. without such a big long mistake. it was a short pinch, an injection with an old school vaccine. rough and hard but it’s so fast it really barely has time to make a lasting impression. it doesn’t leave longing. it leaves soreness that feels good, that feels like life experience.it was thrilling. i remember it was suhc a heart to heart. i was quite happy in that moment ot hear, even indirectly, that this person had in fact not meant what they said, that they actually would consider dating me, and that they made a grievous mistake, grievous enough to backtrack and fix it right away. to swallow one’s pride.

I did find it strange shortly after that there was some distance. there was chatting, but i recall it as not quite on the same wavelength. they didn’t show up often. it wasn’t reliable. i would later find out that it was a tooth infection, being sick, and being busy.

bad liars always lie.

I believed him though. i believed it because those things happened. i lamented to amit about it. hwo annoyed i was. how at the coffee shop he had suggested going for lunches and then going to drinks. (never dinner, oddly). to which i always said yes. was always thrilled. was on the defense and never offered first because i had jsut been hurt and was cautious. even initiating of messages was liek that. i was playing this weird game wherei would avoid talking last because i noticed he would always type a message after. i woud also rarely initiate, a what’s up, etc. pictures became less frequent.

a side note. i will talk about this more later but i actually spent most of my train ride today pondering why things ahd changed. wondered if is houd say something. not sure waht to say, so i scrollled through all the messages from the beginning. realize that he talked on an almost daily basis. lots of talking points. long messages. lots of pictures. i don’t know where that went. if anything, wouldn’t your interest be piqued and you feel more comfortale sending them later? iremember when i went to visit mill in canaidan thanksgiving. i remember awaiting messages. i even played the mute game because i ddint want to know. evenutally i got a reply ot a picture i sent pretty promptly but i didnt ralize til a day later. i was internally a little devastated because i remember that during my interview trip, he had messaged a lot, not only to check in on how i was, but also to send pictures. liek the blender bottle. and stuff from the cottage. and i don’t know why i epxected that to happen again. but even by then things had changed. this was after the coffee. i was thinking to myself, what did i do wrong? where is this clarity? i knew deep down my gut instinct to message him and send one of the few tumblr drafts i had just didn’t come off right. it evolved from

I don’t want to be saying this because you don’t owe me an explanation, but I think it should be noted that the way you’ve been treating me has really been

I didn’t want to say this, but I think it needs to be said because it’s just straight up not respectful.

did i say something wrong? I feel you’ve been quite shunning lately and I’d appreciate if you were more straightforward. i feel really confuse and it’s making me a little uncomfortable

did I say something wrong? I feel shunned and it’s confusing

it doesn’t feel straightforward

did i say or do something wrong? based on how conversational you’ve been, I don’t think I need to tell you why I’m asking

did I say or do something wrong?

I was looking relaly intnetly at the messages to see when mine had been seen. i knew something was up when i looked and saw that he was active and just didn’t view it. and then he saw it, almost an hour later. and that was 10 min after i opened to check. my heart sank. i messed up didn’t I? I said that I do’nt like excuses. but it was prefaced by omething he brought up. and i didn’t talk about his exucses lately. but what i really wanted to say was, care to explain? the day after the hotel, you saw i sent snapchats but didn’t open them for hours. finally oepened it to send a message. nice, but short. a couple of smileys. i then sent a text reply. unread for 4 hours but was active on fb. then i sent a video which got seen quickly. then a reply iwthin 10 min. then i knew by then that the shunning was on so i decided not to engage fully. no smileys, short. no furahter conversation.

with each iteration, I projected less and less blame. partially becuase it sounded caustic. partially because i didn’t think itw asrigiht. mainly because he’s leaving to the new office probably by next week. did i want to leave my last imrpession, with no smeblance of possibly hanging out, as an awkward, hanging-in-the-air immaturity, act of pointing fingers, blamingand blaming, the same way as i had done shortly after the coffee confession (when I said i went too easy on him) and after I scalded him for being a flake? was that the impressi on ireally wanted to leave? any possibility of spending time would be nill. and we’d never see each other by necessity.

i didn’t want to take a shower and give it a thoguht. i wanted to press enter and be done with it. i wanted to tell myself that maybe he would message. maybe he would fall asleep arleady and he just wouldnt see it and id have to stare my message in the face knowing that i couldnt change it. becuase he wouldn’t reply ot it right away. iknow this from experience.

but i did. i took a shower and really thought about it. it became, very quickly, “did i say or do something wrong?” because this was short, curt, a genuine question, not salty, not inflammatory, and not incendiary. it was a genuine short question.he would either answer yes or no.

and then it hit me while i thought about it. do i need to send this message? what will i learn from this that i don’t already know? nothing. i already know everything i need to know. i was just trying not to face it. hojin told me. and it makes perfect sense. if you like a girl, you don’t play gamees like that. and you certainly don’t backtrack 100% and go from snapchatting how im doing and dinners and food and leading to naughtier talk and quick responses to how im feeling, to not sending a single picture except a certificate. to taking 8 hours to open a snap. to open. messages. that takes a special kind of potential to use. it’s the kind where all you just want is to get laid. to satsify the curiosity that i probably had sown by sending my vibes. and a freaking snap story wit hthe blue one. i’ll awlays wonder if that woudl have happened if i had just not sent those. would there still be more of that excitement, that ambiguity? did i give it away too early?

I really enjoyed the time in the hotel. i really enjoyed that night. i was really, much like myself when i had the coffee that time. i was so thrilled that he wanted to have dinner with me and offered the whole takeout thing. it was relaly sweet. he was kind. and oh was he horny. i mean we ate for an hour and talked and … and oddly enough, after the sex iteslf it was so… almost relationship like. it was strange. it was … intimate? i remember things that i won’t say in detail, but esentially the fingering at the movies, the asian pr0n, wanting to fuck me since we really started talking,the kissing at the end as if he couldn’t get enough. and me, in a daze… “see you on monday”.

what was i really thinking? i was giddy. i did notice as well, there was no messaging when he got home or i did. not even a simple one. to ask if i had gotten home safe would be silly, i didn’t leave. but was that not his role? wouldn’t it have been strange of me and extra clingy and oxytocin-highed to ask if he was home safe?

perhaps it would have been. and perhaps i should be glad i didn’t. i was surprsied to see that i didn’t get any messages from him after my lsat. he didn’t owe me any. but i just didn’t expect that. i thought, surely if he was so intent on having dinner, snapchatting so often, messaging, heavliy flirting.. saying that he should have kissed me the time penney gilbert came by… all the while (not drunk)... surely.. a message? a good luck? a “i hope it’s going well”. nothing relatoinship-y. i mean, clearly i didnt need to say that because i was writing a test taht started well early in the moring, which is why i was in the hotel in the first place. and i didn’t finish till 1. at which point i promptly snapped a picture. and i walked with baited breath and worked half-aware, waiting for that vibrate. waiting that maybe there would be some interest in me, in my work, in my day, in hearing from me. but there was none. not till much, much later taht day. so late in fact, that it was 11pm on saturday night and i was pissed enough t odecide not to open it and wait till morning. i was pretty devastated. had it all crumbled so fast? what did i last tell him before i left? “how is this different from last time?” “because if i didnt have to go, i would stay”. oh really? says who?

I was hurt, yea. I didn’t think that i fell off the radar of being important so quickly. it went from me being “slow” replying in 15min, to him taking 5-8 hours while during awake hours and being clearly active elsewhere.

I chalked it up to being busy. I didn’t want to be insecure. but there was something inside of me that was realizing i was being shunned. it hurt. it was so drastic it was so.. fast. it was so soon. it was so ruthless. it was so deliberate. it was so uncalculated. it was done so easily, like it was clearly his only choice. “why would i do anything else?” it’s like the coffee conversation never happened. it was like the no-words version of “what are we?” “i’m not ready to date”. i thought things were different. not that i expected to date, no that i expected any dramatic proposal… but .. never did i think i’d be shunned. it’s like i got whipped around really quickly and was scrambling for the first explanation.

but when you’re in defense and cautious, you don’t think of pragmatic solutions. you think of comfortable solutions. you think back to the first time we went out after i mentioned how this was a shitty situation. we went to duke’s refresher and bar and it was a good time. we talked about everything, but specifically about christmas market. it was really nice. i had a great time. that’s what makes all this so jarring. i know this is the case because i messaged him first for the snapchat on sat, the vid on sun. and then the facebook link about russia being outted from peyonghcnag on tue,then wendesday about meetings on wednesday. it’s clear. i think i was in denial. and it really didn’t truly hit me until about an hour ago. it was when i raelized, that usuually after good sex and a good connection, i like to replay the situation in my head. i only had one chance to do that while still giddy and no semblance of a change was present. and taht was the 4am morning i woke up on the morning of lsat. i couldn’t sleep after and i rmeember lying between those king bed sheets and thinking that i was so lucky and happy. on the bus ride home, i was tired. i was sad. i didn’t get any messages back. they weren’t even opened, which somehow hurt even more. i didn’t masturbate since that night. I just don’t feel it. it doesn’t make me horny. it makes me sad. it makes me horny only when i feel that the enjoyment is reciprocated, that we’re both equally giddy and excited about what went down. i couldn’t do it though. I haven’t been feeling it. because i know that something didn’t sit right. it didnt’ feel like last week, or any week before that. conversations were short, blunt, cut off by other people without returning, and nothing was initiated.

i think this is the beginning of the end.

it make me sad because we went on proper dates. we went to the christmas market, which was a great time. it’s a romantic, couply place. i like looking at it on instagram, other peple posting pictures fromit, becuase it’s so sweet. Ifeel like part of me won’t be able to handle christmas markets the same. it feels like a sham. i felt something, i felt wanted, enjoyed, shown around, in a pretty romantic, couply, festive, really one of a kind environment. ther’s really nothing like it. the crowds suck but i had lots of laughs , like when i took some poor pictures for some people in front of the christmas tree. like when there was a light tunnel with a heart at the end of it that we were awkwardly dodging. like when we had mulled wine, hot choclate, cider. like when we had a nice walk there and back. and while i write this i just cant help but think, did i do something wrong?

the dinner, c’est what. it was nice. good chats and it turned a turn as usual. blew off other skype calls for me. it was nice one on one time. time just flew by. i really liked it. we chatted about everything. like always. i like talking to him. i like his humor. he said he liked me, and he still does. and i gave him a second chance. and i gave in. and we did it. and this is what i get? i really don’t feel like i deserve this. but what can i say?i don’t have to ask what it means. i know what it means. it’s just that up to an hour ago, i didn’t really want to admit it.

coudl i ahve not been salty about excuses? maybe. but i didnt say that to him. it was pretty benign. maybe he just really didn’t have anything to say. i mean, when he mentoined the coffee thing, i already said that that was really nice of him and i appreciated it. but i think it was a nice way of me mentioning that i know what’s up. he wan’st oblivious. i also could have done a “oh no questions, it was easy :D” and asked what he was up to… but let’s be honest. what did i just go over? i’ve been shunned. was i gonna play dumb and act like none of that ever happened? it bothered me. ti’s been bothering me since i looked at my phone on saturday… and was genuinely surprised. taken aback. didn’t expect that in a milloin years. nothing. and nothing on monday.

sometimes i get twinges of , “ should i have said something?” but i realize the only thing I’d be showing is that I can be petty, that i complain. actions speak louder than words. there is no explanation that would do his choice of actions justice. it’s self-explanatory. it’s not an accident what he chose to do. its clear that i knew what was going on. i was not oblivious. “I don’t like excuses”. in fact, to drive that home, I made the right decision to not say a thing. because im not interested in hearing what excuse there may be. i also don’t really need an explanation for whether or not i said or did something wrong. what would it tell me? maybe it’d tell me if I actually did somthing wrong (and the shunning was really self-inflicted), or if not, it was a change of heart on his end. but me wanting to hear from him was less of trying to get an answer to my question, but rather to get a response. to let him know that i know what’s up. but it’s already evident. I said I don’t like excuses. and really my actions in the next while will say more than i think. I won’t be as smiley, I’ll be friendly but guarded. I get it. he’s just not that into me. fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me.

I’ve been counting in my head, the presence or absence of him, by the days of the week so carefully in the back of my head, every week. especially those since starting in september.

my days became marked by whether or not i saw him. what we talked about. did he come visit? did we chat? not even just if we flirted, but if he dropped by. for how long? were we alone?

i feel like i’m mourning. i’m mourning because there’s a beautiful office down the hall that’s almost done, that’s almost able to be moved into, december 12. that’s next week. he said another thing , that it’d be nice to come and visit. im scared. i’m scared that after that, there’s no reason to catch up, there’s no reason to chat, there’s no reason to check me out or pass by each other, or to get coffee… there’s no reason. different rooms with keys that don’t work. down the hall but yet barred apart. ther’es just no reason. talking ot him now is like pulling teeth. granted, him asking me to drinks and things was done over messaging, but we’re going to become those sort of people… that sort of friendship where you check in once every 2.5 months to ask how life is. and that makes me sad. because that can happen as soon as 5 days from now.

we talked about something on the 11th. his mom’s going to costa rica. that was the plan, to go to his place, to essentially have sex. you know, wiht privacy and stuff. but that requires an invitation. and i was trying to warm up to it by initiating messages. even though he’d try to chat in person… it would quicly become something else. something...clinical. something that woudl be interrupted. my excuse comment would ahve just been maybe, something he just didnt have a response to. wouldnt’ be the same time. but if the week goes as it already has been since last saturday, there will be no meetup next week. which is ok. i am not really sure i want to have sex. im not in the mood as of now. I’m really not dying to. what i want more than anything is a chance to talk without talking about the possibiility of a relatoinship, just to talk about what has been. he did say we could hang out before then, but that was, of course, while he was horny.

and thisis minor, but him playing dumb at me reutrningthings at eaton center was a little jarring. he’s not an idiot. he knows what i was returning. and he acted like he didn’t want to say a single thing about it. or bring it up. it’s like it’s being suppressed already. and i dont get it. you don’t have to love me. i don’t love you. but are you sure you’re not using me? this hurts.

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