#IM THINKING ABOUT THIS AGAIN cant believe i never posted it(i dont think??)
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WELCOME TO PHIO'S EXTREMELY SELF INDULGENT AU HOUR!!!
"Oh, FINALLY, another visitor! It's so quiet in here, it's unnerving..."
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This AU was meant to be posted on halloween but eh.... Happy Thanksgiving? HAHAHHA
still dont have a name for it, but basically, back in october i was suddenly hit with the need to have a halloween au, so now we have ghost-ified prismo and vampire/witch-ified scarab :D ( although didnt finish the scarab reference spread in time because uh, school and i lost motivation unfortunately )
au synopsis and rambling below the cut!!
the premise of this au is simple : scarab is a real estate agent whos known for his manners ( never barges in, always waits to be invited! though it is a little weird how he keeps asking to be let inside even if they already agreed that he was going to come over... ) and efficiency at his job - that is, convincing people to buy high-end housing for a good price. although his social skills need some... work, his ability to persuade people isnt something to be laughed at.
unfortunately for him, persuading the higher-ups is a completely different story - which he learned the hard way after flunking something big for the company. they dont choose to fire him, no. instead, they put him through a trial, assigning him to sell their most unprofitable property : the mansion in a small town locally known for being haunted by an "evil spirit". if scarab manages to sell it (for good profit) within six months, he is excused and is able to go on with his job. if not... well, best not to think about it, yes? after all, he'll succeed with ease - all he has to do is dispel any worries about some fake "ghost" that only exists as a result of filthy rumors. maybe clean up the place. not too hard, right?
meanwhile, stuck inside said mansion is an extremely bored prismo. hes been hangin around this place for like... how many years now? forty? a hundred? meh, all the same, lately the place has been quieter than usual. i mean- of course people dont just walk into a creepy mansion every day, but there would usually be at least a few bold kids or vloggers coming in now and then for him to entertain but even then they wouldn't stay long ( for obvious reasons ). and now, just some unbound spirits or dumb animals would pass by and thats about it. a guy can only entertain himself for so long, yknow?
that is, until today. when some posh-looking business man entered the premises and started snooping around ( whats the deal with that, by the way?? ). must be prismo's lucky day!! this is the perfect chance to pull out all the stops and play the FUNNIEST prank ever! hah!
... oh. looks like things've gotten a little out of hand.
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WOOT WOOT WOOTTTTTTTTTTT!!! im so so happy to finish this because ohhhhh my god this has taken ages for no reason other than the fact that ive been really dragging myself to make presentable art JSNDJSJXNSJX.... i realize that i have never worked in real estate ( or at all ) which means i have probably fucked something up but uhh um ill deal with the backlash later :"D im also realizing how many odd unanswered bits and bobs this au is going to have in the future, which... i am ignoring for the most part for now, but there are SOME things that i DO have figured out like ghost lore... but thats for another time, for now i leave you with this >:)
#again i do apologize for not including scarabs reference SOB it was taking so looooong and if i didnt finish it by now i wouldve just never#posted it at ALL so im glad im able to get this out now#again still dont have a name... but would love suggestions if people have any :D#ive been thinking so hard about the name and havent landed on aaaanything dude#creepy crawlies? tell-tale?? witching hour?? GAHH THERES SO MANY OPTIONS AND I DONT KNOW WHETHER I WANT TO GO WITH SYMBOLISM OR SILLY SIMPL#but anyways time for real tags#prohibitedwish#prismo the wishmaster#scarab the god auditor#uhh idk what else to put HAHAHHA#dont wanna tag fionna and cake cause i feel like thats just a lie idk#ACKKK I CANT BELIEVE IM FINALLY POSTING THIS I AM. SO NERVOUS MY HANDS ARE SO SWEATY YOU DOTN EVEN KNOW#okay okay. sending post now oh god
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(Wolverine 1988, issue #128)
"single thing which is most precious" and apparently for wolverine thats living a domestic life in the mountains with sabretooth....you wanna elaborate on that🤨
#sabrevine#sabretooth#wolverine#victor creed#logan howlett#IM THINKING ABOUT THIS AGAIN cant believe i never posted it(i dont think??)#'the way it was always meant to be' im gonna eat this comic
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unrelated to that rb but im thinking about it and i dont think piper liking jason was ever a forced heteronormativity thing i think she genuinely liked him
#like i relate to her so much cuz like i also like guys and even though at this point in my life im more attracted to girls ive never#considered my guy crushes as 'not knowing i was queer' i think i genuinely liked them#but also the concept of piper not dealing with her internalized amatonormativity hits sooooo hard like i didnt even think of it like that#the fact she moved on from jason so quick too. not that she needs to always feel sad for him but it had to have been like at max 4 months#which isnt to say people cant move on its just for your ex bf dying that seems so quick to me#her turning to romance again to help her problems because its just what shes always been led to believe#especially as a daughter of aphrodite.... wow many thoughts. want to put her in the microwave#in other news i totally admit as cute as her and shel are it was definitely forced as a way to 'show' she was queer#but she didnt need a girl to show she was queer she could hvae just told it honestly. not everyone who finds out theyre queer is immediatel#in a relationship and you dont always need a relationship to realize youre queer#sorry that post got me thinking about other things lol#piper mclean#riordanverse
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#me? about to use tumblr as a diary again? in 2024? unfortunately:/#but here have a waterfall i saw on a hike last week as payment#i am sO tired and exhausted emotionally after dating#there's this guy that i fr thought was going to last and be around for a long time. we spent like every moment together that we could for 2#months straight and if we werent physicaly together we were texting or calling or on ft . just every part of our day had the other in it#not once did i ever feel unwanted undesired or uncared for. not once did i feel that i wasnt sure of his intentions. i felt safer with him#in those 2 months than i ever did with any one else i could think to compare to.#until one day he just didnt think it important to communicate any more. after 3 days of nearly nothing .. hardly any talking . i asked if#he was ok if we were ok. what was going on in his head. he said some ive just been with my buddies and family and havent been on my phone#and just. immediately thats heartbreak yanno. thats :// thats what they say when theres a new girl. but there'd never been a reason to think#there was another girl so i was like ok we're gonna trust bc this dude has been So good in every way. so i said imy but i understand. enjoy#your time with your buddies and with your fam -- i cant wait to hear about it (and hold you)#and i havent heard from him in the 3 weeks since. just randomly#so last night#i send the dreaded 'i miss you' text.#i dont expect to hear back and i accept the hurt that will come with that and the confusion that i've felt settles deeper into my heart#until this afternoon i hop on ig and see a hard launch that was posted an hour after my text was sent#that shit kinda hurt different. but also sent me into a bit of a delirious state where all i could do is laugh bc are you for fucking real#did she see my message? i know it. bc i know him and i know that he wouldnt hide anything from the person he's giving his heart#and his softness to. i can almost imagine how he showed her and promised her theres nothing to worry about#and there really isnt anything to worry about because he genuinely is the type to give his all to the relationship he's in#which feels silly to say after what happened w us. like no there wasnt a title ever#it sucks to call it a situationship because a month ago we were laughing in bed together about how we could never bc we were all in.#just the timing of the hard launch makes me giggle. did my text push them to have a conversation about what they are. was she really the#reason that he went away on me.#im trying not to blame myself . trying not to think about the phone calls i didnt answer. about what i could have done differently. trying#not to think about where we would be if i didnt let my anxieties hold me back. if i wasnt scared about what he'd think of the parts of me#that i keep hidden just a little bit longer than the rest.#and at the same time im trying not to put him on a pedestal. but that pedestal is just where i wholeheartedly believe he belongs#he set the bar for me. he set the standard. i was never too much. i was never too little. he made me feel perfect just as i am
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me crawling out of bed to type this and disappear back to my cocoon right after but-specifically looking at the hewitts since granted i know more on the remakes than the others but,
the hewitts only got vague, limited police action looking into them in '03 after erin chops thomas' arm off and gets away. and even though theres' coverage of it and everything, that literally ONLY happens after 4-5 straight years of the hewitts doing what they do, from 69-73 in terms of solely the remake timeline.
that's still a shitton of time to be ACTIVELY killing people to y'know. not fucking die yourselves. then combine that with the sawyers - their additional family members, their own trails of ruthlessness added into the mix, and this entire combined family unit likely has kill counts all around in the hundreds if not even way past that.
but even with the police involvement in the remakes?
its all SO SLOPPY, its hardly conducted with any real CARE about their own well-beings. like??? ya'll went into that house while THOMAS was STILL THERE... didnt even SECURE THE HOUSE.....
and even with the found footage? no arrests, presumably. the remaining hewitts are still at large, thomas is still at large. like... all ya'll did was corral them to their fucking confusing ass tunnel system and made luda (if we count the comics) far more involved and ruthless in the actual killings than she was in the movies lol
and yes technically speaking with charlie's death that could sever the stronghold they've got on the police and sheriffs' around them - but at the same time - how bad would it look of them to SUDDENLY flip a switch and try to unpack the years worth of missing persons, cold cases, murders, kidnappings, break-ins, assaults, etc etc that they swept under the rug? that's WAY too much man power, esp for back then. no one is gonna do that shit.
so. i truly dont think they have much to worry about even in the event of charlie dying - because the fear and influence they've instilled stands for law enforcement to continue to do fuck all - to save and cover their own asses.
#its incredibly tragic because like. its so OBVIOUS something GOD AWFUL happened to this group of kids? theyre literally needing some rough#medical attention yknow. its so fucking clear they went through something BAD. and yet? crickets. theyre shrugged off. dismissed.#given the cold shoulder. told their friend(s) simply ran away. told they mustve been high or on something and cant recall clearly.#even between maria going missing to pre-basement brawl its like. NO ONES taking them seriously. everyone in towns they search in dismiss#them. no ones seen or heard anything. LEO's are just. useless and rude and telling them not to interfere. telling to go home. telling them#to let them handle things when it becomes VERY obvious they just dont give a shit - that theyre avoiding certain locations#like yes i moved maria's timeline of being missing up but like - even while the searches were still considered active? there was barely any#movement or care or concern or manpower that the depts were gathering or investigating. like. how does someone vanish into thin air?#like they tried to imply maria must've - at some point? they were so out of their league so roadblocked so dismissed every step of the way.#like. maria and lee and danny etc in their dire aus its all just... its so tragic.#maria with the attempt of a search and youre nearly found!!!....and then youre told your friends all left...and they never came remotely#close to where youre kept to find you. lee with sacrificing himself hoping it gives the rest of them a chance to get away - that someone#lives in order to rain down hell on the family in the sense of justice and yet. not a word is said over broadcasts about him - at least pos#nothing substantial. no search. no missing persons report. nothing. and then danny? my dan the man? the guy with little family ties?#my guy with a strained relationship with his father? whose only friends are again in the situation of 'no one believes us'?#you think theres even a PEEP about him whatsoever? in any capacity? my guy would be lost to the ether - literally. NO ONE but the#friends would ever give a shit if he went missing.#does this make any sense idk im half asleep still but yknow-#i see kels' post and my brain short-circuited on this- BFKHD#[ 𝟎𝟎 ] ── * 𝐎𝐎𝐂. { renee. }
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Was it really leading you on if I also let you down? Or do you really just hate the idea of me being happy without you? /not at you
#im getting angery about things from almost two years ago again haha oops#but honestly. you cant just fucking traumatize me and expect me not to be pissed???#just tell me I'm a monster and you hate everything I am.#like. do you know how hard it is to be going through someone sexualizing you constantly no matter how much you ask them to stop#and have your best fucking friend yelling at you because you're such a monster who's going to ruin this poor boy#and have her tell you she tied her self worth to your capacity to like men??#like. cool. okay. fuck you I guess.#its so bullshit#like. I'll admit I didnt treat her great. i let her believe she had a chance with dating me#when ultimately that was probably never going to happen again#but also like. I just like having close friends I flirt with. thats how I do relationships. and I made that clear.#and I even toned it down and we talked about it all the time#so maybe actually I didnt??? idk#point is its still fucked up that she would honestly tell me how much I suck as a hostile way of attacking me for not dating her#and THEN a few months later managed to get mad at me again for.... being triggered by something she said#so anyway uh. when you have someone in your life and you know how mean they can be#dont tell yourself its okay because they arent hostile to you. they could just as easily be hurting you the moment their rose glasses fall#if you dont want to be on their bad side. do you really want to be on their good side?#sad posting#<- not really but its personal and I'm scatterbrain thinking#soz if it doesnt make a lot of sense I'm. strugglebus#I might try to explain better later because those moments have really lodged their way in my brain and it sucks
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the way everyone acts about That gives me the most incredible mind reading paranoid you can imagine. Like uh. my brain is quite sure sometimes in a deep, deep, overwhelming subconscious way that everybody can communicate their emotions to each other like theyre genuinely connecting in a way im not and they all have a species wide fucking agreement not to talk about it unless someone brings it up first. bc its so powerful that once youve experienced it you understand why bringing it up to someone who doesnt know just isnt ok. the rule just is obvious and self explanatory once youre there.
#this is hard to post bc i believe it on such a deep level<3#like mentally? dont belive it#this is not part of my worldview#but my heart. who also thinks the universe hates him personally. who things god is watching with disgust and hate and disdain. cant let go#and sometimes it gets Bad#its gets worse when i think about it bc the 'nobody would Tell you' gets overwhelming#bc they wouldnt#you wouldnt#no matter how many times i posted this#this doesnt count u have to ask with your mind<3#you have to figure it out first#this is what im posting instead of frantically trying to get ppl to tell me That is real again lol#i couldnt handle it rn#nobody answering#nobody ever does#bc. youre not supposed to? bc you dont want to deal with me being crazy? you dont want to feel responsible if it upsets me?#or if i do something crazy#i wont#i have a feeling i couldnt. theres nothing that would matter#tell me if im crazy tell me if im crazy god fucking please christ above its been three years and ive never looked someone in the eyes and#had them tell me im not fucking crazy#it feels so bad. the core of the world is not real and it feels so sickening i dont have words#nobody knows what im talking about bc nobody has ever been as stupid and traumatized as i am. is the current working theory
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dunno if this is the popular interpretation but i like to think the hunters dream is the doll's dream and her physical form in the abandoned workshop is sleeping hence her finger moving. so flora gave the doll life in part to have a place to put gehrman and give hunters assistance when they dream
#wheeltext#also i think everything is a dream. like all of yharnam is a dream from the moment you start the game after the opening cutscene to#the yharnam sunrise ending#so when the doll says she hopes you find your worth in the waking world shes rooting for you to eventually leave the dream#but she still mourns you or just likes to remember you when she hangs around your grave in ng+ bc she misses the hunters who pass through#...#im never sure how much of my initial interpretation is what everyone else got from the game and how much is just things i accepted as fact#anyway thats the cycle basically from ng to ng+ the endless hunt starts you go about your business and kill bby mergo and bc great ones#cant actually die it starts again#so all the pillars in the hunters dream are infinite dreams from infinite dolls who are helping other yous and other hunters and other#versions of those hunters#if theres like actual proof im wrong id love to hear it bc thinking ab that for too long gives me a headache lok#*lol#it does mean that every ng cycle is basically you hunting down queen yharnams baby to give it a few moments of peace before it starts again#i know since youre in micolash's nightmare when you go to burger lecture hall the notes are probably all his but i like to think of them as#notes micolash read and remembers from several characters#also somone plz remind me to draw my ludwig sometime hes very cute and deserves to be seen#again if there contradicting information in the game id love to hear it i love bb a lot and i dont mind being wrong if i get to talk ab it#example me saying amelia sealed cathedral ward in my melia hc post contradicts that cw was sealed right when old yharnam burned which i#believe is laurences fault#at the very least she didnt unseal it so. haha#oh right sorry back to the whole the night of the hunt is a dream from the start thing mr big hat from the opening cutscene says#easy with a bit o yharnam blood of yer own#so the night of the hunt is a mass dream shared by all yharnamites and you get into the dream by being injected with yharno blood#sorry i almost dropped out of school today and i love bloodborne a normal amount
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sometimes i get so frustrated about how many transmisogynistic users get reblogged despite their reliable-to-the-point-of-predictability episodes of vitriolic hostility against transfems or absolute lack of care in spreading hearsay about us that i think of making a big blocklist or callout, but its a foolish idea because callouts are only for making a spectacle and Other of someone in order to reinforce norms in the in group. transmisogyny callouts never spread to a large audience for this reason; as a rhetorical tool, they are not for enacting justice.
and even if they could, i stop myself, because they're a stupid way of trying to stop bigotry in the first place. we should be striving to be able to recognize bigoted rhetoric and challenge it ourselves, to stand with the marginalized in our communities, rather than making the victims have to point out The Bad Ones over and over since you can't see. and clearly, you can't see! because i cant hardly scroll this website and see an acquaintance reblog a post without recognizing op as either an open transmisogynistic themself, or a useful idiot for transmisogynists and spreading their callouts. (many of which included private pictures and nudes for "evidence" towards their evil kinks; to make this clear, revenge porn with a coat of progressive paint.)
but time and time again, nobody sees the problem when it happens to trans women. its all a pretense to voice preconceptions of disgust to trans women. they dont really believe that making shitty posts is equivalent to actual sexual abuse, just like they dont actually believe that wearing thigh highs is pedophile-coded, its all just excuses to hate trans women like they want to. for them, its just finding excuses to put in the keywords that turn peoples brains off and play into their bias. oh, sure, i cyberstalked literal years into her private nsfw blog to dig up that nude and match it with a selfie from her main and i put both in the callout im spreading around, but why would that be bad? dont you know she calls her girlfriend mommy in private sometimes? look, i did mental gymnastics to equate this consensual roleplay to real world harm, its totally pedo-incest coded! look, i said shes into raceplay apropos of nothing just to get people pissed at her, but you're not gonna check, right? why would spreading that and her nudes- sorry i mean evidence of her crimes to more strangers and exposing her to transphobes be bad? how can it be sexual harassment when the woman person really really deserves it i promise?
#ok to rb#sasha speaks#transmisogyny#&i remember every time i see one of them because i have to. if trans women dont keep track of the people who'd backstab us then no one woul#if i dont then im at the very least im allowing useful idiots to look at my blog and stalk it. which is a real concern that i have to have!
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i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.
ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?
its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?
im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.
This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.
I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.
This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.
My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.
With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.
Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.
(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)
But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.
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(you)r sp and you ♡
i have already made a post about how you should love yourself and your sp will love you almost as much (bc they actually are you!) but lets go into more detail
a lot of you guys, including me, wanted to get into a relationship. and with that, youve discovered the law of assumption. the basics start off with whatever you assume will be. but after months of arguing, harassment, and bullying on twitter, you’re probably confused and too scared to ask.
FUCK THAT. let me be the one to tell you that none of it matters. you very much can and WILL manifest your sp. others false opinions (false because theyre not real) mean nothing. this isnt a loass post though im talking about non dualism (which is not the same).
“but wait… i want my sp and non dualism isnt about getting so why would i-“ because your sp shouldnt be someone that brings you happiness. they should be someone who adds to your quality of life. why does that sound like loass vs non dualism? because it is.
people use the law of assumption to manifest desires for their physical world. theres nothing wrong with that! that is how i manifested my current relationship. however, when we speak about non dualism, it goes beyond trying to get anything. youre just being. and “getting” into a relationship can very much help or make your false sense of self feel better. you as consciousness know relationships themselves dont exist because it is you but your ego, the false sense of self doesnt know that. it wants to experience love as part of the human condition. but youre still not getting anything. lemme explain.
you were trying to “get” something that was never outside of you TO make you happy. that doesnt make sense when not only are they you, but they are apart of you. everything your awareness is on “reflects” how you feel about yourself because all there is is you.
lets go back to non dualism’s basics. everything is consciousness = you creation is brought on by your awareness = you. “but back when x happened-“ the past and the future do not exist. the only thing that exist is now. you cant “apply” this way of thinking to something that doesnt exist. that makes no sense. youre just going to confuse yourself. i am telling you RIGHT NOW the only truly real thing is YOU. that is all there is and will ever be. you can control your awareness through observations meaning youre in total control. read that again.
so when it comes to your sp, romantic or not, they are never not yours. they were never not you or not a part of you. every thought, feeling, affirmation, or word you wrote down, they have received. because its you. think about it. are you ever aware of anything youre unaware of? (no). because things only exist the moment youre aware of them!
and remember, if something can come to our awareness like a relationship and leave our awareness it is not real. but you, as consciousness are infinite and are always here and always consciousness. so you are real!
after discovering non dualism i have thought about the feelings my boyfriend has presented to me and how they currently match the feelings i have for myself. i have always loved myself and will always love myself. if i didnt, how could i expect my creation, which is a projection of my own self image, to have different feelings than me? your sp isnt a separate person. Your relationships will always show how you feel about yourself, romantic or platonic. they’re not real because they come and go through your awareness but your ego as the false self believes they are. and thats okay. thats its job. let it be and observe them as consciousness.
nothing can happen outside of your awareness because the moment you are aware/conscious of something, it exist instantly. so if your sp is treating you the way you dont want to be treated then reflect on your own feelings about yourself. this DOES NOT necessarily mean work on your self concept. ask yourself if “you” think youre worthy of what it is your ego desires. a lot of my blockage came from that. i had to fall in love with myself so my ego could comprehend how i could be loved. because its still me.
lets talk about “free will”.
“free will” doesn’t exist. lemme tell you why. the idea of free will is a person outside of you having a say in their own life. the basic principle of non dualism means theres only one being, consciousness (you). so tell me how can “another person” “outside” of you have a say in their “own lives” when none of that exist in the first place?
your sp having or not having free will shouldn’t effect how you feel about them unless you see them as a separate entity outside of you. they’re not an “object” you control theyre your creation and another form of consciousness so of course you have control over your creations you have control over EVERYTHING.
your sp feels the same way you feel about yourself. always. if you dont feel good about yourself then i do suggest working on your self concept. not to “get” anything but for YOURSELF! why not love yourself? why cart that responsibility off to your creation?
at the end of the day, itll just be you surrounded by your creations. you can pick and choose what they are specifically BUT THE ONLY REAL THING IS YOU
© itgomyway
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not sure if i have talked about this before but i also really hate how gorons are treated in totk
they are one of my fav and i know they are unpopular and were always kinda slot into the "big fat stupid rock people" role, but i do think totk is one of or the worst case yet; all regions get some life threatening event (ignoring how stupid it is to put the issues you need to solve in the exact same spots as in botw with most changes being also reversible so the actual changes to the environment of the map are largely some small rocks sprinkled about) and they get .. drugs (haha)
like i dont wanna downplay anything but their problem being that they are obsessed with eating (>_>) some drugged rock that makes them mean and lazy (even if the reason is fine ... if i remember right and didnt make up that they had to dig elsewhere for food bc of death mountain losing its lava flow, the execution is my problem -like the vast majority of this game is a ok to great idea with passable to horrible execution of it) and arent even a danger to you (which i thought at first when you approach goronia the normal path and two gorons start to walk towards you if you come near saying creepy shit- i thought they are gonna attack me or lure me into a trap but again .. only to find them wanting me to pay to be let through (i think??) and all other drugged ones are largely just ... eating or lying around ........
like it would have been cool if that drugged rock stuff made them actually agressive, like the friendly easy going rock people being turned into something akin to a starved animal after eating poison bc they were at risk of starving sounds alot more .. impactful and scary (even if it would still be about food, which idk about you but the only kind of fatter npcs, even if non human, being made all about food is .. hm, aside from other possibly bad implications from this, but im trying to roll with the idea of it)
and then poor yuno being put in a stupid (stereotypical?) wrestler outfit and hes LITERALLY being mindcontrolled is so ...... ugh (again, idea is ok but- you get it) and then him being told by two CHILDREN that that obviously not zelda might not be zelda and it not only being the only time that idea is openly said until its "revealed" that hhhwhat?? it was a fake one?? in the mid battle of the "story" and he doesnt even believe it (both bc haha hes stupid and cant understand such a thing and also link not being able to tell anyone ... even his friends ....... ) is just so disrespectful, its ok not to be the smartest guy in the room (tho in totk pretty much anyone is made so much dumber for no reason...) but it being so clearly the gorons that get treated like this just annoys me so much, you know no one of the other races would be treated like that
(not to reach a little but it also plays into how koga is portrayed, like i love him to death and there are things that largely the gameplay only implies of him not being that incompetent, but hes clearly meant to be laughing material, the boss of the band of 'evil' assassins being lazy, incompetent and 'childish' is funny right?? and although i hc that the either super thin or super beefed up appearance of yiga members are just an appearance like their disguises of normal people to seem more unified and less indentifyable- that is still only a hc and then koga being the only character that is visibly fatter (aside from ... the gorons and .. king dorephan??) it puts a pebble more onto the pile of pebbles of little annoyances)
also yuno saying, post mid "story" battle, that no one actually knows anything about ganondorf aside from him being evil and it going complete ingored and never mentioned again feels like the type of thing a games does when they are critized for soemthing and instead of changing it they put a line in the game essentially saying "yeah we know but we are not gonna do aynthing about it lol"
(like thinking of the line ashe from league of legends, whos design has been critized alot bc shes running around in a stupid tiny dress in the snow lands of their world, got when her dialog was updated that made her say sth like "yes im wearing a little dress in the forever winter land, deal with it lol" which perhaps was supposed to be a joke but it just feels like a "lol we know, fuck you")
#ganondoodles talks#zelda#totk#ganondoodles rants#also may i say that i dont like that they made yuno be the boss of a company now??#idk i already didnt like how weirldy overtaking dumsda (hudson) thing got#and him suddendly beign the boss instead of landa (...the dance guy that you buy the house from in botw idk his engl name)#whos now chilling in angelstedt (lurelin?) like hes a shunned king in exile#idk feels off#and no im not saying everything about everything is bad#again I LOVE KOGA AND YUNO#and i dont mean they both have to be the coolest smartest guy around#i find the trend of only their types of design to be the ones made to look stupid and lazy troublesome#THAT is my problem#and yes theres lots to read into koga especially but still#at least it felt like to me that the game realyl wanted you to think of koga being a modern tingle
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hi
under the cut i want to talk a little bit, maybe overshare as well. ill try to keep it short (rereading nat here. i didnt). its a sad post, might make some of you angry but not for the reasons you think
i was staying away on purpose, but a few people asked about me so i wanted to let you know that hey, im lurking, im waiting to see what happens. maybe some things will change in the future but im putting it out here so its all in one place
i think i want to start with saying thank you again for sticking around, supporting my art and my thoughts and having discussions with me. i really opened up about myself and what I created here. im very anxious person and it influences my life on every level, so being heard, seeing people laughing at my jokes, loving my art has been so so important to me
about the situation, the gogcident if you will, i logged out as soon as i saw things going down and been getting updates though different source. and while situation is still on going and i dont know where it will go, as how it ends, theres two or three things im firm on that will always be true for me:
i really hate how believe all victims turns into believe everyone who speaks first, no matter what they say, no matter context, no matter proof. the first statement made in this case was untrue in a lot of important details and while i dont think caitis feeling are wrong or invalid i think her first statement made this situation into something it isnt. i think every victim should be heard but attacking everyone who was accused right away is not a solution
i do believe that everyone who was accused of anything has every right to defend themselves. the way its constantly taken away from dteam is not lost on me and its insane and upsetting
you can be traumatized by the events that werent in its core meant to be traumatizing. sometimes people act shitty and leave scars on you and sometimes you can do the same to other people
edited note bc i want this to be here as well: guilty until proven innocent is a crazy mindset and i cannot imagine situation that i would allow it. some idiots dont even realise how dangerous rhetoric that is. including accusers not being obligated to provide any proof of their claims
twt is the worst thing to deal with any discourse, misunderstanding or any delicate situation. i think no ones there cares for any victims period. i wish that place the worst
okay so what now. i havent decided yet. georges and dreams moves so far confirmed for me that no matter what happened it wasnt with malicious intentions. ill wait to see how this plays out and then ill decide about my next steps. one think i did for sure is i uninstalled twt from my phone (and that already bit my ass the moment dream started his space…) that part of fandom, both people who like (liked?) and hate dream is so damn self-destructive, toxic, manipulative and performative it wasnt worth it anymore. for here, i dont know yet. i dont hate dteam, i think this is very unfortunate and sad and complicated situation that left people very deeply hurt. and i wish it wasnt this way and im pretty sure dteam also wish that. but they cant change it and i cant change it even more
now this is something i dont really know how to tell you but let me try. i never mentioned this bc when i had those realizations, it was too late, everyone moved on and i felt stupid for dwelling on this. i feel stupid now, typing this. the thing is, drituation left me quite traumatized. fucking pathetic, i know. the sudden explosion of fandom left me really badly hurt. i lost a lot of people i genuinely believed to be friends with, and i miss them dearly. i felt, fuck it, still feel deeply betrayed by some of them. i dont want people guess who is who thats not the point, those people moved on long time ago. but that hurt has been really difficult to deal with, especially since realistically i know its quite stupid. crying over some people who were following me back for a few months? but i tried to let myself heal and grow love for this community again and i thought we will be okay. drituation felt like the end of the world but we got through it and I thought we are smarter. and well. im not trying to blame anyone or even a whole community, idk maybe i want to blame the universe for putting me here or society for working this way i dont know. but im hurting and i need to find a better way to deal with things going the wrong way. and it deeply upsets me but im afraid that i have to learn how to love you all less. and i honestly dont know yet what that means, how moving forward will look like. i dont have to make this decision now so i let myself stay away from social media for a while still and then go with presented situation the best i can. i dont try to make anyone responsible for my wellbeing i want to make this clear. im just trying to share my feelings and give you context for whatever happen in the nearest future. no matter what i need more healthy relationship not even with ccs but with community itself (and if you see me rebloging hazbin hotel fanarts. spare me...)
in this place i do want to state that no matter what i dont think dteam are bad people. im not closing myself at possibility of participating in the fandom, probably less though things i mentioned earlier. but if any of those things make you uncomfortable in any way, feel free to unfollow/softblock
im leaving my askbox open if anyone has anything to say, add, or idk, scream at me. not sure if i answer any tho. also if i delete this post in the next 10 minutes out of embarrassment then well, haha
on the final note i want once again thank you all for supporting me when i needed help for my cat. you all did something amazing, something i will never forget and i wish to hug everyone of you in person. thank you
see you around. one day. maybe tomorrow maybe in 10 days. idk
and if you are moving on in different direction, if we ever meet again, dont be a stranger
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MY MOOTIES !!
(in no specific order i love all of you i promise)
@sona1800: literally my long lost twin 🥺 you mean everything to me bby 🫶 i love talking to you and spending time with you bc you’ve helped me so much in the past month you have no idea… so grateful for you love 💕
@kai-lee08: MY PRETTY BABY OH MY GOSH 🤭💕 YOU MEAN SO SO SO MUCH TO ME MY LOVE AUGH YOURE SO CUTE I CANT (Æ Æ Æ ‼️)
@skzoologist: you are actually so perfect i will cry bc it’s hard to believe someone as amazing as you actually exists 😭 (your accent actually has me in a chokehold)
@writingforstraykids: i love talking to you so much you actually make me so happy and AUGHHH I LOVE YOU NAT WEUIGFYU 💕💕💕
@yangbbokari: MUMUUUU OH MY GOD I ACTUALLY LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOURE SO AMAZING AND SO SO TALENTED >.<
@jinnie-ret: you're literally so cute and tiny (even tho youre older than me) and youre so perfect and OMG i love you <3
@cheesemonky: OMG LEISEL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH (even tho youre old) YOURE ACTUALLY SUCH A CUTIE PIE AND UGH YOUR ACCENT IS EVERYTHNNG I LIVE FOR 😍
@cinnamostar: i still remember the first time we interacted and how i literally exploded when i read your league of legends felix fic (still not over that) thank you for showing me how to use discord youre literally an angel 🥰
@hearts4leeknow: RIN RIN RIN YOU CUTIE OH MY GOSH YOU ARE SUCH AN AMAZING AND TALENTED AND PERFECT WRITER YOU HAVE MY HEART AND YOUR ANGST OH MY GOSH 🤭
@miuracha: miu... MIU... WHEN I TELL YOU IVE BEEN LISTENING TO YOUR AUDIOS AND READING YOUR FICS FOR MONTHS IM NOT EVEN JOKING I THINK I ACTUALLY DIED WHEN YOU FOLLOWED ME BACK (i was so excited you have no idea...) 😱
@arafilez: us becoming moots was actually something i didnt expect at all bc i didnt expect you to notice me BUT YOU DID bc your acc died (still mad abt that btw) AND IM LITERALLY SO HAPPY WE INTERACT NOW 😊
@oddinarylani: we dont interact much on tumblr but you have no idea how many times ive gone back to your page to read your angst... always gives me a good cry omfg. love you bby 🥺
@xpeachesncream: your drunk texting series has me on my KNEEEES lord it was so good ily sm <3 🤭
@mnwrld: i remember seeing you first following me one day and i literally binged every single one of your fics... THEY ARE ACTUALLY SO YUM I CANT (you write single parents so accurately too?!) 🤯
@hanstarrs: ive actually yet to talk with you but you are SUCH a big inspo to me. reading your works always gets me so giggly and AUGH youre amazing 😩
@2miniverses: i... i- YOUR SUB!SEUNGMIN DRABBLE?! OH LORD HAVE MERCY PLEASE I ACTUALLY COULD NOT BREATHE AFTER THAT 🫣
@vixialuvs: OMOGMOGMOOMGOM YOUR SMUT PLEASE YOURE ACTUALLY SO AMAZNIG AT WRITING IT AND YOUR BEOMGYU FIC IS WRITTEN IN SUCH A PERFECT WAY ITS ACTUALLY ADDICTING 🫠
@slvt4felix: i recently read your little hyunjin meet-cute fic and let me tell you... its actually PHENOMENAL like i love it so much you have NO IDEA AUGHHH 🤗
@chqnverse: even tho we dont interact much on tumblr i LOVE your fics especially the angst 🤭
@wegc: DO I EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU??? I THINK ABOUT YOUR POSTS ON THE DAILY. MWWWAH YOURE DOING GODS WORK 🫶💕
@michelle4eve: as im writing this it has literally been a couple of hours since we became moots and i can see you liking all my posts youre such a sweetheart ily 🥺
@gayforfelix: im actually not sure if you write bc ive never seen your fics but ive seen you interact with my blog and you are just soooo cute ily bby <3
@hyewka: i... i- GOD I FEEL LIKE IM GONNA PASS OUT EVERY TIME I TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR BLOG BC I READ THE SUB!HYBRID PUPPY GYU THOUGHT LIKE EVERY WEEK OH LORD 😩
@bangchansgirlsblog: your ANGST i cant BREATHE its actually PERFECT in EVERY WHICH WAY and reading it gets me in such a sad mood and so motivated to write angst again (thats a compliment btw) 😊
@maximumkillshot: you are actually such a cutie pie, and though i only read your kpop fics throughout your blog, they are SO SO SO good and im so glad i stumbled upon your page that one day ilysm <3
@linos-kitten: your smut... your FLUFF... YOUR ANGST?! GOD YOU ARE SUCH A TALENTED WRITER IM ACTUALLY ON MY KNEES JESUS CHRIST 🧎♀️
@ivyisnotokay: idk if you write fics bc ive never seen them before (sorry) BUT I LITERALLY SEE YOUR REBLOGS ALL THE TIME AND OH GOD YOU ARE SOOOOOO SWEET ILY DARLING <3
@babybreadddd: ive only ever seen one of your fics (i dont remember seeing any more on your masterlist) and let me tell you... i am already HOOKED !!! ily so much bby keep up the amazing work 🥺
@astraysimp: YOUR FICS ARE SO CUTTTTTTTTE LIKE THEY ACTUALLY MAKE MY HEART FLUTTER I CANT EVEN DEAL WITH THE FLUFF YOU WRITE ITS TOO ADORABLE 🫠
@leaneverleaves2: i think ive only read your ditto fic but oh my god its so cute and comforting :((( youre such a talented writer my love <3
@skzstannie: your angst... YOUR ANGST?! HOLY FUCK NUTS ITS SO AMAZING AND IT MAKES ME WANT TO BAWL MY EYES OUT (thats such a big compliment btw dw) 😭
@noyurcapri: i think youre actually one of my first moots ever and i love you so much bc youre always interacting and supporting me <3 I LOVE YOUUU MWAH >//<
@laylasbunbunny: OH MY GOSHHH I LITERALLY SEE YOU REBLOGGING EVERYTHING AND I REMEMBER OUR FIRST INTERACTION WHEN YOU ASKED FOR A PT 3 OF THE FELIX FIC ILY SO MUCHHHH <3
@youfoundme-not: oh my gosh... i could literally never forget you. i remember when you just sent general feedback in my inbox and i literally started SOBBING bc it was the first thing ive ever gotten there. i love you baby <3 💕
@number1jeonginstan: idk how to explain it but your fluff is SO FLUFFY and its like in the most adorable way its so sweet like candy and OMGGGGG MWAH <3 🥺
@chansdoll: your hard thoughts... ouhhh baby let me tell you... you have SUCH an amazing mind and SUCH an amazing way of writing it out I LOVE YOUR WORKS 🫣
@jazziwritesthings: OMG YOU LITTLE CUTIE I LOVE YOU JAZZI ESPECIALLY YOUR 'missing you' FIC OH LORRDDDD 🫠
@linocvp1d: idk if youre a writer but i literally always see you interacting with peoples posts and it has me so giggly bc youre SO SUPPORTIVE AUGHHH ILY <3
@gyustarzzi: bby i love your little ateez headcannons theyre SOOOOOOO cute and your blog is so aesthetic and adorable too?! i cant w you youre so cutie pie omg... 🫶
@cutieleeknow: OH MY GOD THE ‘how they announce your pregnancy’ SERIES WAS LITERALLY SO CUTE YOURE SO AMAZING AND ILY
@viviworkshere: i know you’re like a new writer and all but i CANNOT get over the seungmin fic you wrote… cried to it this morning and probably will continue to cry over it every time i read it 🥺
@soullostinspaceandtime: don’t know much about you (hopefully we can get to know each other) but all ik is that you ATE w those tags. as you should 😌
@vanillacupcakefrosting: i think we literally only started talking recently but im soooo glad to be moots! i can wait to start talking to you more :))) you seem so sweet and AUGH 🥺💕
lmk if i missed any of you <3 love all of you so so sooooooo much :))
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list of songs hyunjin has played on his lives/recommended:
note: im probably missing some & i couldn’t put links to all of them cause apparently tumblr has a link limit 🤨
lauv: julia, lonely eyes, invisible things, paris in the rain, never not, im so tired, the story never ends, i like me better
offonff: photograph, cigarette (ft. miso & tablo), dance, bath
beyoncé: crazy in love (remix)
billie eilish: i love you, &burn, idontwannabeyouanymore, ocean eyes, before i go, tv
honne: day1, la la la that’s how it goes
christina perri: a thousand years
shawn mendes: mercy, treat you better, in my blood
dvwn: phobia
dpr live: jam & butterfly
jehwi: dear moon
leehi: rose
bts: dna, waste it on me, make it right
colde: where love begins, string (ft. sunwoojunga), the museum, wa-r-r, your dog loves you (ft. crush), control me, a song nobody knows, im in love
got7: miracle, hard carry
justin bieber: lonely
josef salvat: call on me
taemin: criminal
night off: sleep
sam kim: make up (ft. crush), like a fool, sunny days summer nights
niki: lowkey
iu: the visitor, lullaby, knees, love poem, give you my heart, my sea
cha ni: starlight
sia: snowman
akmu: happening
sunwoojunga: run with me
the black skirts: everything
korea cracker: ocean (ft. hoyeon kim)
cosmic boy: can i love?
penomeco: no.5 (ft. crush)
yerin baek: blooming memories, limit
10cm: so…., however
day6: i’ll try, love me or leave me, when you love someone, you were beautiful, congratulations, zombie, days gone by, afraid
dean: d (half moon), instagram, what 2 do, bonnie & clyde
exo: first snow, the eve, love shot
sam fischer: this city
jukjae: do you want to walk with me?, lullaby
ph-1: nerdy love (ft. yerin baek), as i told you
baekhyun: love again, un village
amine: blackjack
young k: come as you are, guard you
flume: say it (ft. tove lo)
twice: dance the night away, fancy
ariana grande: thank u, next
hajin: we all lie
about: it has to be you
caroline says: winter is cold
h.e.r: u, wait for it
bol4: to my youth
monday kiz: winter is as i wished
paul kim: the road, additional
sweden laundry: the winter
jung seung hwan: in that winter
chungha: gotta go
zion.t: no make up, snow
airman: gloomy star, i’ll be your spring (ft. j_ust)
motte: dont run away
seventeen: a-teen, super
khalid: location
lukas graham: 7 years
imagine dragons: believer
bo kyung kim: dont think you are alone
jung ilhoon: spoiler (ft. babylon)
davichi: falling in love, 이 사랑
coldplay: everglow, viva la vida
lyn: my destiny
jus2: focus on me, long black, senses (jpn version)
crush: beautiful, you and i
ed sheeran: lego house, perfect, photograph, beautiful people
croosh: why
20 years of age: x
tori kelly: paper hearts
seulgi: always
luna: do you love me? (ft. george)
wisue: someone’s shining
epik high: eternal sunshine
jp saxe: if the world was ending
seori: fairy tale
bruno mars: marry you
the weeknd: earned it, die for you
jung seunghwan: its raining, an ordinary day, dear
sam tinnesz: play with fire
post malone: motley crew
jihyo: stardust love song
kim feel: your voice
sung sikyung: solar system, heejae
younha: stardust
wonpil: a journey
taeyeon: invu, some nights, toddler, drawing our moments
nct dream: boom
ha hyunsang: 3108
huhgak: memory of your scent
se so neon: nan chun, a long dream, midnight train, stranger
umi: remember me
tvxq!: mirotic
johnny balik: honey
red velvet: psycho
new jeans: hype boy
christian kuria: losing you
cigarettes after sex: k.
dpr ian: nerves, no blueberries, 1 shot
samm henshaw: broke
woodz: drowning
kelly clarkson: underneath the tree
kimmuseum: to you who cant sleep
taylor swift: betty
lana del rey: young and beautiful
harry styles: watermelon sugar, she
pink sweat$: honesty
masego: tadow
olivia rodrigo: vampire
troye sivan: youth, for him
kai: mmmh
2pm: my house
oasis - wonderwall
oasis - hey now
mac miller - that’s on me
mac miller - everybody
nothing but thieves - amsterdam
bren joy - sweet
back number - i love you
puma blue - already falling
mac ayres - roses
mac ayres - next to you
bruno major - old soul
#hyunjin song recommendations#<- so i can find it later for updates#i spent like 3 hours writing this and putting the links shdjdndb#maybe anon from yesterday finds this helpful!
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