"you know what they say! its hip to fuck bees" "NOBODY SAYS THAT"

sorry if this is a dumb question but what would you say even qualifies something as kink? i get the whole consent between two adults thing but some of the stuff you mention being in sbi fics is making me a bit confused. i can see what you mean with the fear play and stuff (as an aroace i’ve been exploring non-sexual kink in other fandoms lately so i have definitely looked back at some sbi fics and went hmmm) but where do you draw the line? what’s the difference between a praise kink and someone who likes to get approval from people they look up to? why are using pet names sometimes kink and sometimes not? for the torture stuff: i’ve only ever seen hurt/comfort after a character gets tortured, how is that kinky at all? idk im just so lost rn

This is not a dumb question! Yeah! Unfortunately this is a thing, however, where there is no hard and fast answer for a lot of it, it's mostly down to tone. It's mostly down to vibes. It's the kind of thing where you are messaging your own beta reader like "okay I went hard on [subplot] do I need to tag this" and then they stare at it for you. (And thank you to the group chat for helping me with examples for this post.)

I'd say if you really start squinting at it, for a lot you can spot it if you go, what is the point of this scene, what is the beat being hit? What is the narrative here for? And in cases where like, someone is getting eaten by a giant, it's pretty clear that the point there is vore, and that's a kink, baby. Or like you say, with ones where the character is being pursued through the wood, the point is that Tommy (or whoever) is terrified and thinks he's about to die when he's caught, and that's fearplay with a side of predator/prey. Or ones where Tommy is pinned down against his will and forced to be cuddled by his new family, the point there is the pushing at Tommy's personal boundaries and the fact that he *likes* it anyways, and that's consent play/dubcon (ocassionally noncon, depending on the fic).

Anything with altered states of conciousness, whether that's through drugs, or "instincts", or magical mind control, or anything else, that starts to read as something where you go "what is the point of this scene"— is the point that Tommy's out of it and so floppy and gets manhandled? (I don't know the term for it but there's def a kink about being drugged). Is the point that Techno grabs at the back of Tommy's neck and growls at him and that puts him back in his proper dynamic place as his sub runt (yeah that's D/S right there).

You can also start to kind of spot the kink when you go, okay, how far from canon dynamics have we diverged to make this scene happen? I think that's why the nickname discourse happened, because we know what Wilbur calls Tommy in canon, and so "sunshine" starts to read as a different or extended dynamic from canon, and why is that dynamic there? What's Wilbur getting out of this scene, what's Tommy getting out of this scene, what is the reader supposed to get out of it? If someone who is normally in canon called "brat" or "child" is called "sunshine" or "darling" or "baby" or "mine", what's the reader supposed to get out that? Is the reader supposed to feel gratified by this, loved and affirmed and having that mental itch scratched, is that why the scene exists?

Or like, how is something set up by the narrative? Does it feel like an earned exception to the canon dynamic or is the point of the scene something else?— Do you see a difference between Wilbur hugging Tommy and speaking reassurances to him in a moment of vulnerability after he's been really hurt or something, and both of them are feeling horrible in the situation but are hoping for comfort, vs Wilbur gently cradling Tommy and cooing praises at him just because, and this makes Tommy's brain go all melty?

Like, if you imagine your own siblings or parents in these scenes, would it feel a bit weird? If you stumbled across this scene on TV, what would your first read be? If you genderswapped it and moved the slider on the ages, would it feel out of place in a YA novel?

With the praise kink thing, that's an extremely fuzzy line, but pushed to it I'd say, is the point of the scene that someone completed [task] and trusted person is proud of them for [task], with the focus on task completion, or is the point that someone has someone they trust and they're proud of them, and the focus is on how proud the person is of them and how worthwhile and good the person now feels because they've been affirmed by their trusted person?

And as for how torture can be kinky, uh, there's an entire field of types of kinks based on types of pain being committed— impact play, wax play, spanking, flogging, biting— and again it comes down to how the narrative treats it. Is the narrative expecting the audience to be really into a) watching this guy suffer b) getting in the head of this guy suffering? It isn't necessarily sexual, but it can definately get kinky to just— are you getting gratified by this, how much weight in the narritive is on the pain/helplessness/submission/mind break?

And that's not even getting into guro, which is eroticized gore— some people find torture sexy! Some people write snuff fics! How much does the narrative dwell on the gore, and how does it do it? How much does the story expect you to get out of this guy dying, are you supposed to be crying or are you supposed to be a bit wound tighter now?

And like, I want to reiterate that I'm not judging any of these kinks. Fiction is a safe place to explore a bunch of stuff you would find problematic or just straight up Very Bad in real life, and brains are weird. If you have been wired so that you get the good chemicals when specific story beats happen— look, I have to take so many brain meds to get the good chemicals, if you can hack your brain and get good chemicals off of platonic dubcon, i am applauding you.

Just a) keep it away from the creators, b) even if it's platonic, not everybody is into the same story beats or kinks. Please tag your shit.

Please Don’t Leave Me

Sirius Black x Reader Fluff

Words:1641

Warnings: Panic attacks, sad boy hours, two swear words

A/N: Got some Sirius comfort for you, also (Y/p) means “Your Patronus“

After how long you and Sirius had been friends you’ve developed a special bond, you would stay up late and talk, he found it so easy to talk to you and be vulnerable with you. He loved that you wouldn’t push him, or bring it up the next day, you just helped him how and when he needed it.

And after your chats you’d go with him go up to the marauders dorm and kiss him on the forehead and say one last “You’re safe” and he’d be able to sleep. No matter what time it was you’d be there for him. And the next day he would go back to being his flirty, confident self.

One day he had gotten a really bad letter from Walburga (You refuse to call her ‘Sirius’s mother’ or ‘his mum’ she doesn't get that right after what she’s done to him)

It was just after the dinner feast and the ancient most noble house of assholes’s ‘Bitch bird’ had flown off after Sirius untied the letter from his so called family, ripping it open, he just looked at the page for a bit, only half reading it before getting up and running from the great hall with his hand over his mouth to stop himself from crying. Merlin, he hates crying. 

The group watched him leave, you and James looked at each other as if telepathically talking about who should go after him. The two of you knew the most about his trauma. You ended up going after him.

You knew exactly where he would be, on the 2nd floor in a little secret room that you and Sirius have practically claimed as yours. The marauders had found it while making the map, Sirius started to go there when he was overwhelmed with feelings, one day you had found him there, and you just sat together, and for the first time, he was ok with crying. That was the day he started to open up to you.

***

“Siri?” walking in you saw him in the back corner. His head was buried in his knees, holding his hair so tight it would definitely be pulling some out and he was crying, the kind of crying where you feel like your suffocating, where you swear you’ll become dehydrated from all the tears, where no matter how much time passes that day your eyes will still be red.

You sat crossed legged next to him, didn’t move to touch him or talk first, after doing this for how long you had, you’ve picked up on what helped him best.

The main being, let him move first. Not only did it give him a bit to collect his thoughts but it made him feel more in control in a safe space. Growing up in his household he had no control on anything in his life and he was told to never show emotion as it showed weakness, told to sit straight, keep your head down and do as you're told, or else. So giving him a chance to feel and think and register that it is ok to show emotion and that he does have control of things.

He slowly started to shuffle over to you. Taking his hands from his hair and holding yours in one, and wrapping the other around his knees, he was still curled into himself and crying but he could breath now. It was a start.

Ever so slowly he leant on your side, you just held his hand in both of yours. After around five minutes he had gone from sitting in the back corner to leaning on your side and holding your hand. A year ago, he would be sitting alone, crying and hating himself.

He fully curled into your side, his other hand going looping around your arm and basically hugging it and he buried his head into your chest. Kissing his forehead you slowly move one hand from his and into his hair, running your fingers through it, making him melt into you.

The two of you sat there for a while, just holding him and humming to yourself, he always liked the small vibration it made in your chest.

You both just sat there calmly, blocking out the world, you had no clue how much time had passed. In this room, you were in your own world. There were no obligations to be anything other than yourself, you didn’t have to worry about school work or ‘family’ or anything, you could just exist.

You’ve even brought pillows and blankets to the room so you could sleep there overnight, when leaving the room was too much for him.

Peter had asked why you guys didn’t just go to the room of requirements. The room of requirements isn’t just for you and Sirius, everyone could get into it, only you and the marauders knew about this room. It was hidden behind a statue in the back of a corner of a dead end hallway no one else really went to. Other than to snog for ten minutes before class.

Taking your hand from his hair, you grab your wand and look up to the roof for a moment before looking back at Sirius and smiling softly.

“Expecto Patronum”

A thin wisp of silver poured from your wand and hovered like mist before you before moving off around the room transforming into a (Y/p) and continuing to play around the room.

“Wha’d you think of?” Sirius mumbled watching the wispy animal dance around the room, since he mumbled it into your shoulder it sounded a bit more like ‘whadyoinkoff’ but you got the jist of it.

“When I met you” Putting your wand back in your robes, you rake your fingers through his hair again.

Sirius lightly scoffed “Don’t lie, surely that’s not one of your most happy memories that you can cast a corporeal patronus. We met because me and the boys pranked you and got you sent to the hospital”

“Trust me, I remember, and adore that day” 

“Why?”

“Well, for start I met you four, and for the two days I was in the hospital wing, a certain boy with majestic hair, perfect grey eyes, and bad jokes” you tilt your head slightly so you could see his face a bit better

“Hey! My jokes are amazing and you love them” he scrunched his nose up with a tiny smile 

“Yeah, yeah, anyway this amazing person sat with me until Poppy would kick him out, cause he felt bad”

“I like that memory too” he sighs, your patronus had vanished at that point, as you had stopped focusing on it, but it had done its job, it made him feel better. It always made him feel better. Which is why you were able to cast it.

Sirius had calmed way down to the point he was a puddle on your side. “You’re all melty” you smile resting your head on his and he hummed in agreement and a small head nod.

You stayed like this for a little longer but your arm started to fall asleep “Siri, I love you, but my arm is ‘bout to fall off. So why don’t we take these obnoxious capes off and cuddle with the blankets and pillows?”

He nodded again moving off you (rather reluctantly) before giving you a little smirk “Sounds like you just want me to take my clothes off” 

With a sigh, a smile, and a shake off your head you throw your cape to the other wall “Sirius, I will leave” You joke, before quickly realizing now was not the time for that kind of joke, you had just got a bit distracted as he was joking as he does when he’s feeling alright, before you can ‘fix’ what you said he grabbed your wrist a stressed look on his face.

“Please don’t leave me” 

“’s ok love, I’m not going anywhere” you give him a soft smile, moving over to the pile of blankets and pillows in the corner, grabbing some and making a nest like bed pulling one of the softest blankets up.

“Come here” you open your arm and pull the blanket back and he basically leaps next to you and attaches to your side like a koala.

You give a soft chuckle, shifting so you're comfortable, Sirius basically engulfs you, tangling his legs with yours, his head resting on your chest so he can hear your gentle heartbeat, while you wrap your arms around him holding him close, making him feel safe. Keeping him safe.

“You're not gonna leave, right?” he mumbles, eyes drooping  “I’m not going anywhere”

“You’ll keep me safe?” he yawns “I’ll always keep you safe”

“And you love me?” “I love you so much” “I love you too”

“Sleep now Siri, I’ll be here, keeping you safe, and I do so cause I love you” He slowly nods falling asleep in your arms.

You were finally about to doze off yourself when there was a soft knock and the door cracked open, James’s head popping around it “He ok?” he whispered  “He’s ok now, if you wake him up, I will hex you into the next millennium” you whisper back

James just nodded and slowly closed the door, he knew how much you loved his brother and didn’t want to disturb that. He left smiling with the picture of a calm, sleeping Sirius, with a small smile on his lips.

Bonus:

“Who 's that?” Sirius grumbled going to move, but you gently moved his head back to where it was. “Was just James” “Should I say bye to im’ tomorrow? For wakin’ me up?” “Yes,” you smile “now shh, go back to sleep, I’ve got you”

He just nodded and fell back asleep as you did shortly after.

Wait so.. link to this quodo fic you mentioned in your tags?? I’m intrigued :DD

its only an idea but i will HAPPILY ramble about it in detail under this read more because i never finish writing fics but i do love sharing my notes.

they get Pretty Extensive considering this clocked in at 2k words. so strap in.

tl;dr: karaoke night gone wild leads to garashir and quodo setting each other up for holodeck shenanigans

so basically quark has acquired a karaoke program. everyone on ds9 is going mad about it and it's keeping the holosuites booked out for weeks

the main squad decides to try it out and they just jam to a mix of human, klingon and bajoran music. but lets be real it's mostly human music because i have a mighty need to see captain benjamin sisko tear up the dancefloor to Earth Wind & Fire’s September. so sue me.

anyway everyone has to sing, even odo, even garak and they all have a blast. the only person who is notably absent is Quark because Quark has a bar to run and Quark can't indulge in mindless fun activities when he has money to make.

Unless… Odo challenges him and he has to prove that Odo is wrong.

so yeah quark checks on the gang to see how they like this “Hooman Kara-oke” and if he can sell them some drinks and everyone is like “hey you should sing. just one song. we won't even laugh about your bad ferengi singing! we promise!"

and quark is about to say "ferengi voices arent that bad. im still not gonna sing tho."

but odo is ahead of the game and insults his grating voice and how it could only be worse in song. and because this is quark he’s like “actually fuck you. now I WILL sing.”

so he snatches the mic from whoever was about to go next and fucking Crushes It. 

while odo starts Looking Respectfully everyone else is just going "woooooo! go quark!" which makes quark just get even more into it

Takes His Jacket Off, Drops It On The Floor, Dances With The Microphone Stand. The Works. and he's also enjoying himself like "haha! suck it odo! i'm a good performer, it's how I make money!"

until he actually looks at Odo and Odo is Looking Back and then he’s like “wait what the fuck why is he looking at me” and Promptly Messes Up A Step And Falls Off The Stage-

so now quark has a twisted ankle and julian has to take him to the infirmary, which bums out quite literally Everyone and the gathering disperses, leaving only Garak and Odo.

garak as we know is but a simple tailor, but he’s Observant and his little lizard eyes did spy odo looking at quark and making the soup-version of heart eyes. we also know he is the gayest bicth on this station so of course he’s going to poke and prod at odo to see how he reacts.

garak waits until everyone is out of the room and asks odo if he can walk the dear constable home to the ol’ bucket. because odo looked a little melty during quark’s performance, y’know. it’d be bad if he turned into soup on the promenade.

odo denies this, of course, so garak is like “oh great then we can have a Chat :)”

and odo goes "wait no i hate talking” but then they’re in garaks shop and drinking kanar and garak is getting drunk off his lizard ass and talking about Julian because, again, he IS THAT BITCH!

meanwhile in the infirmary, Julian is trying to take care of quark’s ankle, but since he’s nosy and kinda Knows that quark wouldn’t just mess up his steps for no reason he asks about that.

and quark loudly goes “NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS JUST FIX MY DAMN ANKLE-”

which of course turns the nosyness up to 11 and has julian going 👀

"no i mean uh- i was distracted" "distracted? by what?" "nothing" "distracted by nothing?" "FIX. MY. ANKLE."

so julian sits him down on a biobed and gets whatever medical thingie fixes ankles in the 24th century. and while he does that he offers quark some wine to loosen the tongue about what made him slip.

anyway one thing leads to another and before you know it quark and julian are wine-drunk sitting on the infirmary floor and talking about garak. which suits quark just fine because it means he doesn’t have to admit he fell because odo was looking at him like he just revealed all the secrets of the universe along with his bare arms when he took off his jacket.

so we have two sets of gay idiots getting drunk in two locations and the next morning two sets of gay idiots have hangovers. yes odo gets a hangover. being soup does not exempt him from it.

julian and odo do the right, logical thing and take some meds to go to work and be productive and garak shows up in the bar to fight fire with fire and finds quark Already Doing That. 

so they just sit next to each other, beating their hangovers with more alcohol, and they get to talking.

garak goes on about how he took odo home and pretty much only talked about julian all night and quark is like “wow what a coincidence, the doctor and i only talked about you all night.” 

and it's all downhill from there because basically quark and garak just figured out that the garashir pining is Mutual.

"wait, julian was looking at me???" "yes." "AND I WAS LOOKING AT JULIAN-" "Yes."

and then they hash out this elaborate scheme to trap julian and garak in one of the Spy holosuite programs until they make out. this is garak and quark planning. how could they NOT make an elaborate scheme involving holosuites.

anyway i promised quodo so i will keep the ‘garashir makes out in the holosuite’ section a lil more brief

so within the next two days these two gay bitches whip up a new “The Adventures Of Agent Bashir” program, but quark has ‘adjusted’ the program a little so that it only ends when the main characters kiss. fun stuff.

garak and julian go through the program, havin a blast being spies, but at the end garak’s character gets “shot”, and they are so immersed in the story that julian is Actually Concerned and garak Actually Acts like he's in pain.

they kiss, the program ends, and garak- not actually shot- goes “haha gotcha, you wanted to kiss me before i died” 

so they walk out the holosuite one hour after their time is already up with a lot of hickeys and untied bowties. hooray.

But That’s Not What We’re Here For.

after garak and julian come down from the high of getting together julian asks Just How and Why quark would agree to help with this. quark Never helps Unless he’s helping himself.

and they realised Quark Has Played Them Like Cheap Kazoos. he just wanted to take attention away from himself and the unanswered question of why he suddenly fell off the stage.

so they go "wait, if odo and quark were both lying and obscuring facts and being weird about this, doesn't that mean- ohhh"

and it boils down to them deciding to help those poor fuckers because they are apparently off even worse than they were in terms of mutual pining.

they also hash out an elaborate scheme. this time it involves odo’s never ending hard on for finding reasons to throw quark into jail.

since quark technically violated the holosuite rules by locking garak and julian in there garak goes over to odo to report the “Crime”

after some back and forth about Why In The World Garak, Friend And Tailor, would report a crime to odo that doesn’t affect anyone’s safety Odo heads to the bar to investigate the holosuites and if there really was criminal activity.

he doesn’t ask quark for permission, mostly because he’d never ask permission to snoop around in quark’s property but also because quark is actually not there at the moment. for Some Reason he’s being held up in the infirmary. Weird.

so odo is looking through the holosuite recordings of the last few days, and he runs through what garak said was the illegal activity of locking them in there and just goes "Ah, alright, i can throw him in a holding cell for that.” but then he sees a message left by garak.

it was apparently left there today so garak must have prepared this which means something is afoot. and the message just reads "the karaoke session was recorded and you might wanna check what Actually™ made quark trip :)"

to which odo reacts with "hmph. why should i care. maybe hes just messing with me and quark tripped over a cable." but Odo looks at it anyway. respectfully.

and he watches the whole performance up until the point where quark falls. Multiple Times. until he remembers that this is a criminal investigation and he finally looks at the part where he falls from quark’s perspective, which is the important one.

and he just. looks right at himself. looking at quark.

and holy shit. he looked at him like he was going to shove him against a wall, not to beat him up, but to make out with him. he straight up looked like he was going to mess him up but not with his fists.

so he stands right in front of quark and replays that moment to see quark’s reaction and analyse how he fell. and sure enough quark Saw Him and his knees gave out.

after that he really just wants to walk out and spend the next 30 hours as a houseplant to cleanse his mind of any quark-related thoughts but uh oh. when he opens the holosuite door Quark Is Right There.

and odo panics and just pulls him inside, accidentally re-initiating the spy program.

“But how did Quark happen to be there at just the right time?” i hear you ask well it was OUR MAN BASHIR

while garak was at odos place telling him to investigate quark’s wrongdoings, quark himself got called to the infirmary for a check-up on his twisted ankle.

and julian kept him there, examining his ankle over and over, until garak came in to Insinuate that Someone is snooping around in the holosuites.

so quark, yelling "NO COPS IN MY BAR", hurries over to the holosuites on his totally fine ankle and bada bing bada boom, here we are.

with two idiots stuck in a locked holosuite.

odo is like "QUARK WTF" meanwhile quark is like "ODO WTF"

"YOU LOCKED US IN A HOLOSUITE" "NO YOU LOCKED US IN A HOLOSUITE" ”well it was you who pulled me in here" "but it was you who designed it like this"

anyway to get out they have to go through the program somehow. quark and garak programmed this very carefully. unless they follow the general story, there’s no way out.

and at first quark says "listen, its okay, we just have to kiss" to which odo replies with that kinda look you’d get from someone if you told them to swallow a cactus whole, for fun.

"you heard me" "quark if this is a joke-" "its not. i made rom pull an all nighter to put in the new sensors." "you paid him for this???" "no." "right of course."

and after a very quick cheek kiss doesn’t end up doing the trick the two actually go through the program properly. except quark knows the script, cheats a little, takes shortcuts and totally doesnt impress odo by shooting a few hologram guards on the way.

so they get to the end, where they believe odo is supposed to get “shot”, but turns out they mixed up the roles and quark is the one who gets shot.

And Odo Doesn’t Know. The Safeties. Are. On.

so he tearfully goes "WAIT NO- QUARK!" and quark is like "odo...odo come closer..."

"yes, quark?"

"kiss me"

"quark please dont die i'll kiss you and we'll beam you straight to the infirmary and-" "ODO JUST KISS ME"

and then they kiss. the holosuite controls unlock and quark thinks ‘oh great, now we can leave-’ but odo doesnt stop kissing him

and he doesn’t Stop kissing him until quark actually speaks up and has to go "HEY IF THIS WERE REAL I’D BE DYING BY NOW-"

"what?" "the safeties are on. I didn’t get shot. you just had to kiss me to unlock the controls-"

and odo is like "QUARK"

and quark is like "ODO"

and then odo gets up and is very convinced that he Must Turn Into A Houseplant For A Ferengi Lifespan To Atone For His Sins.

but quark says “no, wait. can you do it again?”

"yelling at you?" "kissing me."

anyway odo finally gets to fulfill his fantasy of pushing quark against a wall and quark finally gets kissed by odo like hes dreamed of for like 15 years or however long ago it was that they were first on terok nor together during the cardassian occupation.

the end.

heyooo  guys  !    so ,   last four months were literal hell for most people worldwide,  me  &  my  family  included !    shit  sucked  balls ,  but  thankfully  i’m  proud to  announce  that  we’re  slowly  but  surely  getting  back on our feet .  a  lot  of  you  were  genuinely  concerned ,  &  i  received  a  ton  of  asks  inquiring  about  my  well-being &  sending  words of  encouragement /  hope  /  well wishes my  way ...   which  even  though  i  wasn’t  in  the  right  frame  of  mind  to  answer back then,  they  still warmed  my  heart  &  gave   me  some  much  needed  strength.   since ,  many  asks  are  asking  similar things,  i  thought  it  best  to  make  one  faq  sorta  post  rather than  answering  each  individually  and  clogging  people’s  dashboards.  

so,  basically  a  lotta  third  world   bullshit  happened,  food  stuff,  medical  stuff,  etc.  as  my  government  implemented a  very  strict  ( read :  brutal )  lockdown  that  lasted  more  than  three months.  i  don’t  want  to  get  into,  because  many  people  have had  troubling  times recently  &  i’d  rather  not  make anyone upset /  sad  or  even  trigger  them  in  any way.  Know  this  though, after  few  months  of  me  trying  to  just  survive  &  not  fucking  starve,   one  of  the  main  reasons  of my not being active or doing anything  was  my  laptop  constantly  breaking  down,   the  issue  with  it  being  very  simple, my  ram slot had  some  carbon  gunk  on  it, but  alas.  the  first  time  it  crashed in the beginning  of  may,  the call center got me doing some tests on the phone via keyboard keys ( because laptop wasn’t opening. )  &  they  diagnosed that  the  issue  was  that my  ram  needed to be replaced.  & since  i wasn’t an essential worker ( i.e government or hospital  worker ) they weren’t allowed to give me priority service or machine parts.  it took them a month for them to ship the ram to my cities service center & to get a guy to my house to put it in. &  when he did, the guy was either  so  overworked or stupid enough that he didn’t notice that there was some carbon gunk inside the ram slot & not just on the old ram chip. my laptop worked fine for some days, but crashed again. this time around, they once again put me on a waiting list, &  it took the guy almost three weeks to come back around.  this time though he finally fixed it, &  i was able to start working again.  so ,  yeah,  i’m  ok  now  guys,  mostly lol ...  but  it  really meant  a lot  to  me that  you  guys  cared  enough  to  ask !

no,  i’m  not  opening  commissions  right  away,  hopefully  by  the  end  of  this  month  though.   if  you  do  wanna  commission  me  though,  &  wanna  be  the  first  ones  I  inform  when  i  do  open,   SEND  ME  A  MESSAGE  ON  THIS  TEMPORARY  SIDEBLOG :  @vc-neworders .    please  mention  what  you  are  planning  to  order  &  for  which  character,  etc. 

yes,  even  though  my  laptop  was  fixed  at  the  end of  june,  &  i’ve  been  working  nonstop,  i’ve  only  been  able  to  finish  half  of  my  pending  orders.  this  is  partly  due  to  me  having  1500+  ims  about  stuff like  psd recommendation &  other  general  questions  that  people ask  commissioners  in  my  i.m. chat  box  that  have  accumulated  during  my  four  month  absence &  i’m  having  trouble  finding pending orders as  i  have to deal with each chat  one at a time & the shitty little chat box refreshes after every  message i send. & also partly because this weeks  of  monday  was  a  deadline  for  a  ton  of  term  end assignments  &  essays  that  i was supposed  to have done over the summer but couldn’t because  no  laptop.  IF YOU  HAVE  A  PENDING  ORDER  THOUGH,  PLEASE  SEND  ME  A  NEW  MESSAGE.  this  will help me find our  chat  &  subsequently  your  order  &  finish  it.  you  will also  be  gifted  various  freebies  from  my  side  as  an   apology for  the  huge  delay &  for  being  so  patient  &  understanding during  these  shitty  times.  

firstly,  let  me  say  how  touched  i  was  that  so  many  people  wanted  to  know  if  their  was  anyway  they  could  help  me,  it  made  me  all  melty  inside omg.   and  since  i  still won’t  be  able  to  open  commissions  for  a  bit,  it  is  a  very  good  question  lol....   so,  here’s  how  you  can  help  support  me  till  i’m  able   to  open  commissions  :  

BUY  PSDs ,  ETC.  FROM  MY  DEVIANTART  SHOP !    all  the  stuff  available  can  also  be  bought  via  PAYPAL ,  just  DM  me .     

ALSO ,  THESE  SALE  DISCOUNTS  ARE  STILL AVAILABLE  UNTIL  I  SAY  OTHERWISE !

BECOME  A PATREON !   this  month  i’m  offering  two  exclusive  psds  for  the  price  of  one,  to  celebrate  me  surviving  the  world  almost  ending.                THIS  MONTHS  PSD  PREVIEWS !  

BUY  ME  A  KO-FI !

ONCE  AGAIN ,   thank  you  so  much  for  bearing  with  me,  being  patient  with  me  &  for just  sending  me  some  love  when  i  needed  it  the  most !

OK WAIT VAMPIRE AU AND IM LIVING FOR IT i have a shit ton of headcanons so,,,

here’s a quick summary

Humans hunt vampires and they’re often outcased/killed, although there’s been more recently since they’re learning from a young age to disguise themselves and can now hide their teeth.

also there's a couple types of vampires: some who melt in sun but have wings and can eat normal diets and those who don’t melt in sun, don’t have wings and need a little bit of blood in their diets (but it can be from like,, animals. It doesn’t have to be humans)

the vampires who melt in the sun (ILL CALL EM MELTY BOYS) are super rare so unless stated otherwise, whenever i say “X is a vampire” i'm referring to the not melty ones with no wings

setting/time/almost everything is the same. They are just. Vampires. (THEY LOOK DIFFERENTS TOO SFBDJHG)

also ships include: adrinette/ladynoir, djwifi, julerose, kimax, myvan, nathaniel/marc (I FORGOT THEIR SHIP NAME) and chlolix (chloe/alix)

You can send me ask if you want more details on certain things but yeah

if that interest you there’s more stuff under the cut

here’s what everyone is because its easier

Marinette: vampire *MELTY BOY

Adrien: vampire *MELTY BOY

Nino: human

Alya: half vampire thing?? Idk it just feels right *the sun hurts her skin a little, and she has little wings*

Chloe: vampire

Sabrina: human

Alix: vampire

Kim: human

Max: human

Rose: human

Juleka: vampire *MELTY BOY

Nathaniel: human

Lila: human

Mylene: human

Ivan: vampire

Everyone else is a human except for marc, nathalie and adrien’s mom *MELTY BOY

- marinette feels rlly bad about being a vampire (ALSO she a melty one)

- “TIKKI IM A VAMPIRE BRO I CANT BE LADYBUG”

- can go in the sun for about a minutes before it begins to really hurt so being ladybug isn’t awful cause she can hide in the shade most of the time

- ALWAYS HAS A SUN CAP ON (when she’s marinette) she just wants to be in the sun bro

- some guys start a theory that ladybug’s a vampire and she’s SCREAMING LIKE BRO HOW DO THEY KNOW but it was a joke

- alya is like,, super weird about vampires cause she was taught her whole life to hate vampires by nora because she thinks they’re super dangerous

- at first alya’s like “yeah suck it vampires” and then she learns she’s actually half vampire and she’s kinda like

- “fuck”

- almost rejects the miraculous lb gave her cause she was like “no im kinda vampire”

- but lb just goes “yeah me too so what”

- ALYA FREAKS SHE’S LIKE FUCK YEAH VAMP GANG

- nino’s super chill with her being a vampire!! he finds it rlly cool lol

i feel like i could go into more detail about their relationship but That’s Another Story For Another Day

- adrien kinda hates being a vampire (esp a melty one) and hides it from everyone but plagg

- his dad would kill him for being a vampire because then his son wouldn’t be perfect and that’s not good enough

- felix figures out he’s a vampire but doesn’t tell anyone

- felix isn’t a fan of vampires but respects his cousin and keeps his secret

- hiding his wings is so annoying like??? He wraps them around his body and wears a cap all the time is the WORST

- also same thing as lb he can go in the sun for about a minute as chat noir before he begins to melt

- again i can go into more detail about chat noir/ladybug and marinette/adrien but im trying to keep this kinda short

- CHLOE OH GOD chloe is so scared

- don’t get me wrong she still is mean and petty but she’s really scared someone will find out shes a vampire

- and someone does

- BUT ITS ALIX AND SHES ALSO A VAMPIRE LMAO

- alix is super chill with chloe and is like “hey man i know ur a vampire but i am too”

- after this they both end up getting feeling for each other lol

- THEY BE DATING but that’s a secret

- chloe’s mom knows she’s a vampire because she saw her fangs when she was born which is part of the reason she doesn’t like chloe

- in this au audrey never warms up to chloe instead chloe learns to not give a shit about what her mom thinks (with the help of marinette and ladybug) and tells her off before her mom leaves for new york

- her mom still keeps the fact that chloe’s a vampire a secret from everyone tho

- cause outing someone as a vampire is actually so low that even thought like yeah,, not everyone likes vampires but like no one’s gonna like u either bc you outed them on something so personal and something they trusted you with

- sabrina doesn’t care if chloe’s a vampire she still really cares about her

- but sabrina wouldn’t like it if anyone else was a vampire

- also another thing about chloe she tends to act like she hates vampires to avoid detecting from the Vamp Police 

- ig the vamp police is like sabrina’s dad who really hates vampires and actively looks for them (which is part of the reason sabrina isn’t a big fan of vampires either.)

- they’re not called the vamp police it’s just the police but i like saying that

- like i said before alix is Vampire and basically learns who’s a vampire in the class super quickly

- she knows what to look for when someone’s hiding their identity and knows she’s not the only vampire in the class

- she also figures out everyone’s super hero identities (which is why she gets the rabbit miraculous)

- max knows from stats that it’s likely that there's a couple people in the class who are vampires

- KIM DIDN’T ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT A VAMPIRE WAS BECAUSE HIS FAMILY THOUGHT IT WOULD SCARE HIM SO THEY NEVER TOLD HIM LMAO

- max had to teach him (with the help of alix) what a vampire was but it took like an hour

- the only reason kim actually learned something is because his boyfriend told him that if he paid super close attention (after running through the whole presentation like 3 times) he would give him a smooch

- after that kim grew a big brain and learned everything

- both of their parents and ondine would be super accepting if they were vampires tho

- but they’re both human

- also a little more lore its not biological if you’re a vampire or not it’s purely chance

- Its kinda like being born lgbt ig

- ALSO EVERYONE IS SOME FORM OF LGBT but i have my own hc for that

- lgbt vampires are incredibly oppressed like they can’t go out into the street *pensive*

- ANYWAYS juleka is a melty vampire and rose is a human

- rose’s family is super into hunting vampires 

- rose invited her gf over for a family dinner and the whole time they talked about killing vampires

- juleka doesn’t hate being a vampire and thinks it’s really cool

- SO SHE DRESSES LIKE A VAMPIRE???

- rose had marinette design juleka a sun hat similar to hers because juleka kept forgetting she melts in the sun and went out in it more times then she should’ve

- juleka’s a little bit more outgoing in this au and drops hints that she’s a vampire because she thinks it’s Epic

- rose has to remind her that not everyone thinks it’s epic

- nathaniel is really passionate about vampires and wants to learn more about them

- HE POPPED OFF HARD WHEN HE LEARNED HIS BOYFRIEND’S A VAMPIRE

- nathaniel is so supportive of marc it’s rlly cute

- he has to stop himself from mentioning his bf’s a vampire bc he remembers not everyone thinks it’s as cool as he does

- marc loves that nathaniel is so supportive

- when he first saw nathaniel drawing the class of vampires he just went “fuck he’s the one”

- 100% nathaniel draws marc looking super vampire during class

- i’m just now thinking of akuma’s but like here’s kinda how it would work

- They’re basically the same as they were before (being all evil and shit,, basically the same powers) but i think there would be some story changes??

- lady wifi would be less concerned with lb’s identity and more with if she’s a vampire or not because the cause of her akuma would be her theorizing if lb’s a vamp or not

- causing chloe to make fun of her and say stuff like “cool people can’t be vampires they’re stupid and serve no purpose in life”

- lady wifi doesn’t manage to rip of either lb’s mask for her fake teeth because the costume change also adds fake human teeth to replace the real ones (and you can’t take them off like the mask)

- but lady wifi doesn’t know this so she assumes lb’s not a vampire which she’s disappointed with but alya doesn’t remember this

- BUT the media and chat noir think that she’s not a vampire

- reflekta’s design is a little different but that’s about it

- The change with lady wifi is the only akuma i can think about rn but if i do more headcanons about this i might go more into detail on stuff like that

- CHAT BLANC IS ALSO DIFFERENT

- the build up to the akumatisation is basically the same but adrien realises that lb is marinette and also a melty vampire cause he she’s her melt a little when she leaves the room

- after marinette breaks up with adrien he runs in and transforms 

- after the reveal of adrien’s mom and stuff adrien reveals his wings and tries to kill is dad

- gabriel is disgusted by his son and tells him how disappointed his mother would be

- then chat gets akumatized and stuff

- instead of hitting the moon he’d hit the sun so that he didn’t need to struggle with being a vampire anymore

- he sucks the life out of hawkmoth and claims that he and lb can be together now that there’s no daylight but she says she can live like this which is when he kills her and goes on a murder spree

- then he just sits atop the eiffel tower in complete darkness until past lb shows up with bunnyx and she fixes everything

- his motives are more about disappointing his mother this time and being ashamed about being a vampire

- and also that his wish would be to make it so nobody is a vampire so people wouldn't have to feel ashamed about their identity and hide it all the time

- lb teaches him to love himself and his identity as a vampire and how proud his mother would’ve been of him

- ok enough about chat blanc 

- lila is a human and she acts like she loves vampires 

- but she actually hates them

- she’s super touchy with adrien and he’s even more uncomfortable now cause he knows she’s lying and would hate him when she found his wings

- all the vampires have seen this act before and tell their s/o’s so basically everyone’s against lila except for like maybe sabrina

- no one thinks she’s cool because i hate her

- she still lies about going on rides with prince ali and other stuff 

- WOULD TOTALLY OUT SOMEONE AS A VAMPIRE

- absolute jerk

- her family is known for hunting vampires but she claims she’s different

- ok but ivan is just a sweet vampire trying to keep his identity a secret and mylene is just his support human gf who loves him just the way he is

- ivan doesn’t hate being a vampire but also doesn’t like it cause he’s worried that everyone will say stuff like “i bet you’re a vampire” “you’re a villain and you’re cruel, just like vampires” and other stupid stuff

- he is just a soft man

- MYLENE DEFENDS HIM WITH HER LIFE

- mylene thinks him being a vampire is super cool!!

- they kiss a lot and ivan is worried he’ll bite her but she’s ok with it

- sometimes ivan wishes he was a melty vampire so he could wrap his wings around mylene to cuddle her and stuff

- they are v cute valid couple

- gabriel knows nathalie is a vampire and she knows he knows but neither of them make comments on it

- nathalie does really like vampires and doesnt mind being one herself

- she knows adrien’s a vampire and helps him hide it

- his father likes to know everything about adrien so he tried leaving cups with blood in them in his room to see if he would drink them

- and if he did cause he didn’t know his father was testing him nathalie would just refill them

- she starts keeping blood around the house and gabriel assumes it’s just for her cause he isn’t educated and doesn’t know the difference between rare vamps and the common vamps

- but it’s for adrien

- ALSO LIKE LAST ONE BUT one time lb and chat went out at night to hunt for blood cause they were thirsty but they ran into each other and it was rlly awkward

- but they’re both rlly oblivious and convince each other that they were out for a nightly stroll cause they couldnt sleep

gigantitan liveblog

omg gorilla "loves his job,” according to gabriel himself, and was frustrated enough for an akuma to hit him, but lost all negative emotion the moment he saw adrien safe and sound. im love him I knew you wouldn’t betray my trust, large stronk man _( ´•̥̥̥ω•̥̥̥` 」∠)

[i still think nathalie does care— just stuck in an impossible situation and doing her best to protect adrien while being a sort of mole/double agent—but I felt so betrayed]

HAHA I WAS RIGHT PAPILLON CONTINUES TO GET OWNED BY HIS OWN AKUMA VICTIMS IM LIVING seriously though you keep choosing the worst targets?

a baby who hasn’t even mentally developed enough to say your name

a self aware robot that isn’t even an adroid or cyborg so it obviously wouldn’t have a nervous system (thus nullifying the ability to inflict pain which allows you to control your champions)

grandma “say the magic word”

nadja chamack who... actually was an amazingly competent and terrifying villain, but gave us mad ladynoir, so the audience was the real winner there

GORILLA UNFLINCHING IN GOING TO PROTECT ADRIEN AGAINST BIGASS AKUMA BABY

Important: Plagg wanted to eat brie, confirmed for liking other cheeses. It was light in colour too, meaning it isn’t black brie, and thus mild in flavour, not matured for long. Very different from camembert. Only significant thing in common I can think of is that both are melty, gooey goodness when baked? This has been your Plagg + cheese analysis corner.

MARINETTE PRAISING CHAT’S CLEVERNESS AND CALLING HIM CHATON AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

lol didn’t seem broken up about missing your contrived date with adrien in favour of fighting alongside chat, mari ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ~don’t have time to be dating~ just partners tho~

SHE CALLS HIM MINOU AS LADYBUG LIKE 3s LATER AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

they immediately start teasing each other omfg stop flirting you old married couple (don’t, I live for it)

fuk LB “cooing” sounds like an actual bird STOP ARGUING YOU’RE SO MARRIED LB YOUR HAPPY GIGGLE AT CHAT SAYING HE’LL SERENADE YOU SOME DAY STOPPPPP AND THEN AGAIN WITH THE CHATON

the girls are seriously #squad goals i love them ; -;

holy fuck lb focuses on chat’s bell when she’s formulating a plan (lol @ his goofy smile btw) is using parts of his suit for her plans going to be a thing because pls yes it’s hilarious

FUCKING LEG DROP TO BREAK THE BRACELET, PRO WRESTLER MARI SAGA CONTINUES

Chat standing respectfully with his hands behind his back, an Adrien mannerism, when facing a concerned mother is a nice touch.

The girls being so happy to see mari again and her calling them “my girls” ; u;

ENJOY YOUR COUSCOUS MARINERD

holy lmao alix MVP

huh okay so papillon does call the people I’ve been calling akuma victims “champions.”

(I know most people call them akuma and that’s generally accepted, but I’m a big pedantic nerd and akuma are the corrupted butterflies, damn it.)

(also, not even a pet peeve [okay maybe a tiny bit, but more of an fyi/trivia]: things aren’t pluralized in japanese, which is why I don’t pluralize “akuma.”)

14/8/18

Fucks sake.I’m currently engaged in mission ‘get all the way to Bristol and take my stuff out of the boys house to my house then get home again without anyone noticing’, and so far I’ve made a right cock up of the whole thing. Got to Egham station at an inconvenient time anyway because it was inbetween trains to Reading so I had to wait 20 minutes for one. Then somehow, I was so lost in my own stupid thought that when the train to Reading came I did t even notice, and by the time I’d realised and ran to it it was already pulling away.Serves me right I guess. It’s just another one of the blows karmas dealt me since I officially gave up on morality.Oh yeah, that’s right, you guessed it.I suppose this chapter of the story, which is kind of like chapter two of the Eric saga, commencing after the yearnful intermission, started last Friday. So this is the Friday that’s Friday fast approaching Saturday which would be the Saturday to mark 2 weeks since I officially broke things off with Eric. Had a god awful boring week last week where absolutely no one was around and absolutely nothing happened. Started going stir crazy. More than relieved when Michelle planned to have this little gath on Friday night.Anyway the whole thing turned out to be a bit of a cop out, because there wasn’t enough alcohol and it was a weird, Jamie Foster dominated crowd. The ‘main event’ was Molly’s new boyfriend Oscar, being trotted out and introduced for the first time. It was especially exciting because the word (corroborated by social media) was that he was really really peng. Anyway, it was funny because he turned out to be kind of a dweeb - he had a bit of a tragic man bun and he vaped and he tucked his tshirt into his jeans etc. Anyway, I got pretty drunk and ended up kinda passed out with Soph and Smell on the sofa, in self imposed exile of the general conversation which we only joined in to nag John to take us home. I don’t know if it’s cos it was kind of a shitty night or cos I felt kind of excluded, or if it was just a side effect of being drunk and free of inhibitions, but all of a sudden all I wanted to do was forget all this abstinence nonsense and hit up Eric. Maybe it was also something to do with how unbearably horny I’ve been all week - the predictable time of the month. Anyhow, I felt no pressure to follow through on Friday night only because I knew I was going out again the next day, and that that would provide a far better opportunity to hook up. In the morning I sort of told myself that the whole thing was rubbish, but I think that in my heart I kind of knew that there was no way I wasn’t messaging him on Saturday.Anyway. Saturday rolls around. Unbearably hungover. Meant to be going to Maddie’s to pre for this Artshouse festival thing in London. The whole day has been organised and sold as Maddie’s leaving party, and despite the fact I no longer like Maddy and didn’t really know anyone else going apart from Beth, I’d allowed myself to be convinced to go by Beth, who I felt guilty for leaving alone. I had apprehensions, but I sort of knew it would be fine - once you’re drunk things normally are - and besides, aren’t I supposed to thrive around new people when wasted? It’s true, I always manage to make some random friends. And I did. I can’t be bothered to describe the whole day because it’s not really the topic of chapter two, but yeah, it was fucking lit, i slammed way too much coke, was lucid for the most part but am missing a patch between dancing and being on the tube home with Beth, and, oh yeah, around 7 pm lost all inhibitions completely and hit Eric up with an ‘oi’.It was raining hard, we were drenched to the skin and being shunted around to the sound of tech. I wiped the water off my phone and checked it once every ten minutes or so - after forty minutes he still hadn’t responded. Imagine my sudden panic. Here I had been, assuming that Eric was on standby and would always be there when I fancied dipping my toe back into sin. What if he had in fact moved on? What if he was going to blank me - leave me on read? What if this was operation Lucas all over again?!!In a desperate bid to retain my dominance in the relationship, I sent an angry follow up: ‘don’t you dare ignore me Eric, you shit’.Anyway, long story short, he replied soon after that and we arranged to meet up that evening. My memory sort of melts away around this point, but I know from the messages that I was pretty forward and initiated quite a lot of the whole thing. I resurface from the blackout on the tube with Beth, and it’s at this mind fuck that we resurface.Riding the line with Beth. We’re having some melty, loud, drunk conversation, lying all over each other and the carriage. Then she has to get off at a stop and I’m left on my own, sliding away from the back of her blonde head and the platform and not knowing where the hell im going.Hit up Eric - ‘I’m in central’ (I think?)He comes back saying he’s wine drunk and tired and can’t be bothered coming to central, so I say I’ll come meet him in Uxbridge. Only problem is - how to get there.At this point i try to ascertain my location and find myself staring hard at the blue rectangle that says ‘Embankment’. Right. All I need to do is get onto that blue Piccadilly line, then I can slide all the way down to Uxbridge easy peasy.How I managed to get onto the Jubilee line I will never know - my navigational tactics were just sheer will power. At one point I got on a train, realised I was sliding in the wrong direction and had to do a rapid U-y at the next stop. Somehow, though, around 11 at night, I found myself gliding into Uxbridge station. By this point of course my phone had gone flat, but I haphazardly hoped this wouldn’t pose a problem, and it didn’t, because when I came through the barrier Eric was sitting, dark and broody, in the corner of the station.So he gave me his coat, a kind of quilted denim thing, because ow as wearing nothing but a crochet bralet, and we hooked arms and began ambling towards his. When we got there we continued drinking wine, and I think we did kiss quite a bit but nothing else, our clothes stayed very much on and I sat on his stomach and rattled off what I’d been doing all week and the conversation got deeper until (I don’t remember this) eventually I fell asleep on his chest.So here’s the thing - I fucking fancied him so much. It was like all the doubt and annoyance that had made me doubt whether I did before had evaporated, absense had done its fondening work on the heart, and we were head over heels, all over each other, all gazing eyes and thoughts like ‘I just can’t believe how handsome you are’ bouncing about in my brain. It was the same the next morning - we chattered and laughed with all the ease in the world, and lolopped on each other and I could barely tear myself away to go home.It’s wet and strange but I really just can’t get over how perfect he looks. So I’m not stupid, I know he’s not the best looking person in the world. But for me, for my personal taste, he just looks perfect - like he’s just perfect?! I could play with his hair and stuff for hours man. Hell.He made this stupid spoof film with his friend Janek, ‘the polish cinematographer’, which is on YouTube. In it they’re just sitting around smoking chatting shit trying not to crack up. Basically when I’m bored I just whack it on and I can’t stop watching it. It’s like back when I first met Charlie and I had those two videos of him impersonating Varys and saying ‘if you don’t have a croquet lawn you’re a fucking peasant’ that I couldn’t stop looking at. Except Eric just looks so much better. I don’t know if that’s the me of today talking or if the me of two years ago would agree. Either way - that’s how I feel now. This shifting sands of time and personality thing is impossible to keep up with. I guess you just have to surf the present ?I hope Eric feels the same way as me. I’m kind of concerned that he isn’t really capable of getting all giddy and in love and excited, because he’s been with with so many people and had so much of it. Even I can sort of sense how this time isn’t going to be as giddy and as romantic as it was with Charlie - the first time is always the best, salt in the glass of water that is your heart etc. There were a few things he said which sort of indicate that he really does like me. In the morning, wrapped in each other’s arms with some music humming in the background he said ‘this is what I missed. Just chilling. You are one chillllll motherfucker’. Does that equate to being someone with whom he feels himself falling mind body and soul infatuatedly in love with? Maybe...?​