Ok I'll bite. Should I watch Dungeon Meshi?

Hope your family is better soon !! Glad you've been taking a step back. If you ever feel like it I'd be interested in hearing any thoughts you have on yoshiden as a ship cause I've unfortunately only ever seen some questionable content but I wanna know what others see there and with your interpretations of the characters I'm really curious. Sorry I feel like that was an unnecessarily long sentence. (Also this is only if you want to!!)

Why Yoshiden has become a problem when it's such a lovable ship

it's not an analysis, it's really a question of personal taste, so if the question of ships gets on your nerves, or bores you, don't read this post! I'm a multi-shipper, so don't go to war either!

It's quite simple really, why fans have trouble with this ship, whether it's a problem of personal taste (ships are first and foremost a matter of taste), the way Denji's character is interpreted and his relationship with men (seeing him only as a hetero character), or the way Yoshida is interpreted.

Yoshida poses problems in general, and as I've said several times here, because he's a character that's hard to get to grips with. Not because he's badly written, but because he's brilliantly written; I like to describe him as an ink blot disturbing the reader. Above all, Yoshida is a character who plays a role, not only with the reader by leading him down false paths, but also with regard to his own adolescence, behaving like an adult given the milieu in which he works and the obvious incompatibility between youth and public hunters.

Yoshida rejects his adolescence, school is just a cover or the exercise ground for his mission, his uniform, something temporary that he will take off when he has accomplished his mission. Remember when he was supposed to team up with Asa and Yuko? Yoshida has completely disappeared, even though he should have been part of the mission, bonding with the two teenagers.

Yoshida disappeared to do what he was really there to do, not to bond with the others, but just to keep an eye on Denji. His black eyes are an indescribable black hole, in which we understand neither the intention of his actions nor the personality behind them. They are there only to reflect the darkness of a system to which a teenager has agreed to bow.

Denji is the opposite of this black hole: he doesn't blend into the background, he's noisy, extremely expressive, finds it hard to lie and has no trouble revealing all his thoughts, even those we might hide for fear of social rejection. Unlike Yoshida, who has joined the system, Denji has been rejected by it, and is completely outside it, even though he wanted to be part of it. Asa is a third case: she belonged to the system but now rejects it.

So I like to interpret and I like to imagine Denji influencing Yoshida in a positive way. One envies his good looks, the way he's able to please people naturally, and the other envies the other's candid, inexhaustible and almost wandering sincerity. One sees the other as an enemy, a rival, someone who can't be identified or trusted; the other hopes to get away with denigrating the other, as something rejected by the system but manipulable.

Because Yoshiden has become problematic because the roles played by Denji and Yoshida and the way each sees the other have been interpreted as truths. As a stupid little thing who can be tormented with Denji, which is Yoshida's vision of Denji. And as a shady guy, a dangerous and sadistic rock with Yoshida, which is Denji's vision of Yoshida.

Instead of imagining a ship, some great stories, where they get to know each other and get out of this cycle of mistrust, some ships are based on this fear of the other and this mutual mistrust. Toxicity is even claimed in some cases, and the resulting non-consent established as a golden rule.

Obviously, I don't share this vision. I personally like to imagine Denji (like Asa) as bisexual. Because the question of gender is a theme of CSM, Denji is also a prisoner of a version of masculinity, of reproductive functions, of the obligation to bond with girls in order to achieve personal fulfilment.

Yoshida rejects all this unnaturally, because the slightest relationship is an obstacle for him. Above all, it's wrong to say that Denji has a problem with men and not with girls. His blind trust is a problem, as he demonstrated with Fumiko.

Denji's distrust of men is obviously the result of his own experience, and is problematic because of the way he distances himself from boys his own age. Chapter 139, in which Denji finds himself totally submissive to Fumiko and rejecting Miri's proposals, shows just how problematic Denji's relationship with gender can be.

This dual problem requires a solution, and I like to imagine Denji finding answers to it in his relationship with Asa and also with Yoshida. It's not so much polyamory that interests me as seeing how characters can find answers in each other, and I like imagining the possibilities so much that I'm often multishipper to see that I can love pairs.

Because even though I know that it can be surprising and that it's a fairly rare ship, seeing Asa and Yoshida also bond whether in terms of strict friendship or love (these two possibilities also apply to Yoshiden). Yoshida and Asa have the same rejection mechanisms and deal with their loneliness differently. Yoshida denies himself through his loneliness, relying on the system, while Asa sees herself as her only pillar, relying on herself.

I know that Yoshiden is just as interesting whether it's a story of friendship or love. But I'm a bit of a stickler for seeing it as a ship based on healthy love. Firstly because I like to imagine how Yoshida can fall in love. But also because I think that seeing Denji as a queer character now represents something unlikely for some fans, which worries others given the way the ship is portrayed in a problematic way. I also want to see Denji having healthy relationships with men. And because I love Asa so much, I want to find a place for her even when I envisage Denji with someone else lol.

Of course, I also want to see Denji loved twice as much as he deserves.

How to get away from antiship spaces (mostly)

Warnings: Long post, antis mention, mentions of pedophilia, rape, self harm and gore (none show, not descriptive)

Have you recently learned that you align yourself with the proship label? Would you like to get away from antis as safely as you can? Here's what I've learned, as an ex anti:

1. It may be hard, but try to get rid of/abandon your accounts where you used to interact with antis.

This is one of the hardest steps because having a lot of followers can be discouraging, but it's the safest approach in this situation, because if antis see you following or interacting with proshippers they WILL question you about it and depending on how you tackle their asks they'll throw you to the wolves and publicly "warn" people about you so people can mass report your account/harass you

This applies to anything; Tumblr blogs, Twitter profiles, Discord servers, if you've interacted with antis block them and delete your account if you decide to adopt the proship label

Antis constantly claim that they don't harass people but as soon as someone drops the anti label they dogpile them and call them "traitors" as well as their usual buzzwords to catch people's attention, it's better to pull the plug directly than just rebrand your account

1.5. If you REALLY want to keep your account because you've used it for a long time or because it works as a portfolio, please create a different account to post about proship content

If you make a new account remember to block your anti mutuals/followers from your main account before you start posting, art styles can be very unique and easy to spot similarities in, as well as typing patterns and reoccurring emojis/symbols

If there's the option to, keep your profile private until you've built a steady environment for yourself, if you prefer to keep your profile private permanently that's also a good option!

Remember, your safety matters more than numbers on a screen!

2. This one should go without saying but, please don't share much of your trauma/mental health issues/triggers with people online in general, but especially not with antis

I used to talk about my struggles and vent publicly a lot, antis would stalk my accounts and send me all types of fucked up content.

I've had people send me rape videos and threats, people telling me I deserved the abuse I went through, people would send me gore and self harm images, as well as suicide tutorials.

They can and will use all of it to their advantage, they're restless and will dig up even decade old posts if they feel it'll be useful for them. It can and will take a toll on your mental health, so please save yourself the trouble and only open up with people you genuinely trust and feel safe talking to!

You're not alone, but please don't let dangerous people take advantage of you when you're at a bad spot

3. Keep an eye on your followers, especially if your profiles are public. There are always some things to look out for to make sure your followers aren't antis pretending to be proshippers

According to my personal experience, here's some red flags to look out for:

A.Antis think that the word proship means problematic ship, so they'll refer to pairings as "a proship"

Most proshippers dislike this terminology because it comes from an incorrect definition and usually avoid it

B. TikTok antis specifically come up and use a lot of emoji combos, creating meanings for them and usually adding one or two combos that are actually known to proshippers, along with some never seen before

A lot of the time they use it to identify themselves, a sign that means "I'm not actually a proshipper, just baiting"

I've also seen antis use the clover emoji in combos, inspired by the "clovergender/cloversexual" scam that 4channers came up with, to make it seem like the LGBTQ+ community was welcoming to offending pedophiles. Antis do this because they assimilate the proship label with problematic ships, mostly age gaps/underage content

C. Their account is brand new but they already follow a lot of proshippers. This is usually because they'll follow proshippers who've been posted on a blocklist, usually in the exact order that they've been listed too

If they're on Tumblr, they'll usually keep the people they follow public, so that other antis can find and harass those proshippers

D. Keep an eye on their follow list. Like stated above, they'll usually keep it public and 9 times out of 10 there will be an out of place antiship account, it's most likely their main profile/account/blog

E. They'll use their usual buzzwords on their own posts

For example, if they're trying to mimic a proselfship account they'll post pictures of underage characters and caption it things like "omg i'm such a pedo" and tag their post with proship related tags

Of course this doesn't apply to everyone, so it's always important to take context into consideration, as well as how many of these red flags may apply.

And lastly, please remember that the block button is your friend.

If someone's interacting with you and something about them seems/feels off, block and move on

pal30 AND pal31. a package deal. i actually just forgot this post in my drafts last week & there's a lot of related stuff here anyways

30

A lot of people have talked about it and Number of the Beast is very scary to me. I've already seen people do math about the probability but even without that just listening I was like.... isn't that way too likely??! The wording of it too is so. Like it's cool flavor but it's also really awful... "If you ever roll 3 sixes you are killed in a spectacular fashion and are claimed by whatever terrible power most interested in your soul [...]" Hm. I'm frankly not sure how I feel about it. I guess, like always, it would depend on the framing it's given but just on paper it feels bad to think about Clem getting them after they finally managed to break free. I'm not even a Figure-head like some of my mutuals but I really really want to see them continue on this path (pal31 note: I love the new "Using this new lease on life on violence would be a waste" hook. It reminds me of Valence.) ... Also. Well. Still thinking about Austin being like wow finally I have someone onscreen for Perennial to communicate to (that isn't Clem). I want that too...

I'm not 100% on Armour Astir rules still but does the Investigator as a support playbook not have a mech? They don't, right? (I do HAVE the book, but I haven't closely read it, mostly skimmed over moves.) Of course a class like this has different advantages and I'm loving the Investigator so far but I WILL just miss Keith mech combat. He's so good at making really effective characters, but I guess Phrygian was kind of a high point for that (one-shot kills, baby!!!!! god. Phrygian ruled).

Speaking of Keith characters. The bit to get in the bathroom felt so much like being stuck in a point & click adventure game and you look around and talk to the person there & try like 3 things that don't work & then you go oh RIGHT I have this tool I forgot about because I never used it before! So that was fun to me. God I just enjoy Eclectic so so much.

And I really loved Keith losing it at the fact that the first thing he did was stalk a guy & follow him into a bath room. On a whim. It's sooooooooo funny I love you Eclectic it makes perfect sense to me Leap would be like yeah I trust this guy to handle this & send him. It just paints a picture that I like looking at. A lot (pal31 note: And he IS competent he does his job he's just also a weirdo. Just like Leap...)

I'm a bit. Hm. Connadine? I guess I should wait to see how that develops but it's kind of like... I guess don't want Jack's cool guy to be no-sold (?). I don't even think that's something I need to worry about, because Austin just wouldn't do that, but it was a thought/feeling I had and I want to catalogue it at the very least.

Other than that. Oh what great scene. I was cackling. "Bro's out here cruising" "Look, a clue's a clue"

EDIT: I don't think I took any notes on this but godddd the intro!!!! Who does it like Friends at the Table!!! Incredible work. I imagine it might've worked even better for ppl who hear that voice reguarly (I don't have tiktok & only watch ones on my dash basically). I also am... just kinda interested in the production/making of that tbh. I don't know how the tiktok thing works, but I know that with other voices like that it matters a lot how you type text because it can change intonation. And if it was put in as one text vs singular sentences, and if that changes anything? I mean it was edited for timing obviously, but I just wonder how much vs the initial input. Interesting to me.

31

Let's start with the Connadine business since that's what I ended on. It was good. I looooved the conversation on the rooftop. Eclectic's cracked face. Connadine's risk of "curious", Austin saying something like "it would be easier for him to not be curious about this person interrogating him". Likeeeee. OK. There was an energy. To me. There was. Which is just funny because it's never ever coming from Keith but his weirdguys are just so compelling to people around them aren't they... A SHORT ASIDE: read this good fanfic recently. grey to black by tenworms. And I already thought about ways synthetic beings can show intimacy or perform pleasure(...strange way to phrase it but it's what I've got rn) recently because I had Leap/Figure A on the brain for 4 days straight, just stuck up there (and it's a bit different there again because Leap is Equiaxed, right. And also I've developed specific opinions on their relationship or how they express it but anyways). All that to say idk what's up in that regard with Delegates, it may similar, it may even be a little weirder again because they're part Divine and maybe sometimes a little magic, but you know. At the very least. He COULD have fingered that old man ASIDE FINISHED Nevermind all that I read @/swallowtaileds post saying Eclectic should start a Gravity Clock with him and I would really love that! Great idea. He's got free spots anyways. Hopefully ensuring Connadine to show up again? Then again, he did sound like he thought it'd be best to get off-planet... Which doesn't necessarily mean /he/ plans to, but I would guess that was the case. I wouldn't want to see my replacement come in, but yknow. Hm!!!! Jack!!!!! (This is the second time in the past week a FatT episode has made me go "Jack!!!" in an incredulous tone. The first time was the introduction of the hole in Grandpa's Farm. Which is so concerning to me.)

It does feel kind of weird that the Paint Shop is just felled this uncerimonsoul unceremoniously (edit: I cant believe I forgot to fix that. This word has entirely too many vowels). Eclectic just did that... On his first mission out... and it wasn't even the mission he was on (!). And like, it makes sense for it to be that easy because it was literally planned and aided By the head of the Paint Shop. And I think this is something that will have the most interesting repercussions for the next faction game, and I have no doubt something really sick will come about with it. So while I don't really care for it now (funny factor aside. Love this for u Eclectic.) I'm taking it as a "wait and see" thing. Also like. What is Eclectic doing now. Like in this sortie? I guess he could keep investigating but he did already get some info.? And I don't know, but it doesn't extremely seem like the other side is gonna wrap up super quickly. I did just remember he still has like, all of his B-Plot points or whatever, so he should probably use those to help the rest of the crew, but also. I don't know it's like whatever happens he Already Basically Felled A Pillar (and Jade Kill most likely will do the actual felling, but come on).

Quick Gur mention: I cheered YES! out loud when Dre failed that roll (sorryyy) and then went Noooo..!!! a few minutes later when they rerolled and succeeded. Very funny for Gur to just pop in going "You can't simply leap into holes!!!" I love him soooo much. I'm back to hoping for Figure to fail rolls, and honestly it's bad for them to roll too well anyways, so really. Who's to say if that's bad or good.

And just bc of my recent Integrity post I have got to mention this: a scepter huh!!! A scepter! Just after losing(?) Dahlia, a ruler twice-over. Something to be held, or wielded. Something no longer in connection with its pilot! This Integrity does not demand intimacy. Or it won't have it, not from these people (reading @/madetolooklikeus' posts earlier)... I still have my thoughts on what I think is interesting to happen to/with Integrity but they have shifted substantially. I am sitting and stapling my fingers like that one guy and having thoughts...! HM!

EDIT: OH RIGHT actual plot stuff on the other side: Nideo huh. Well I'm suspecting STEREOMA I guess? Bad to hear about what Nideo has been up to on the moon though. Horrible in fact. Oh I really don't want that second clock to take something that isn't theirs to finish... Chimeric Cadent.... : (

New hooks and gravity clocks are over both these episodes so I'll just put it here. I already mentioned Figure's new hook above, and I really like it. And not to just repeat myself, but it DOES remind me of Valence. This would be an outlook they had. They could've said something like that. It is also just a direction many Dre characters go to, I think, but of course Valence stands out with the direct connection to this season via the last, and also of course to Brnine. (I know people always go on about character haunting a narrative and sometimes it's like nah that guy just died but Valence Truly For Real IS.) Speaking of Brnine. "I'm living on borrowed time, keep up their fight." is crazyyyyyy Brnineeeeee with the survivors guilt!!! Oh it's yummy. To me. It was a bit funny to me when they were like oh is that a plural they? and had a little hehe about it because I straight-up had not thought that it wasn't. ...It's of course very fun and tragic and sexy for it to be about just Valence but I WOULD like it to be about Phrygian and S.I. and other people they've had to leave behind too. I think that can both be true though too with the way Brnine avoids to even think of them(Valence). God. Living on borrowed time... I forget who said it, Dre or Ali, but it really does play nicely with Figures new hook. OH and then with the new Thisbe clock for Brnine!!!! Augh!!! "Brnine is capable but brittle. Their success and survival is the only way forward." Oh... and I wonder how Ali will word Brnines new clock for Thisbe on the other side. It's so interesting in the way she talked about it, how that relationship might differ now. I need it I want it to turn around in my head. God these two are truly just so. I will never ever forget about "Operant Broun lies to me because they believe I am a person." Janine is just so good at this.

I Do, Do I?

If you follow my regular blog that I rarely post on, you'll know that my heterosexual roomie proposed to me. The thing is, we're both hetero females that decided that instead of getting married by 50 at the rate we're going, we may as well. The amount of benefits married couples get while they're still in college is ridiculous. We have friends that live a town away that are both married since they graduated high school and the amount of money they were able to save landed them a cozy four-bedroom house. Sounds too good to be true, and believe me I wish it were. I am still attending my local university myself trying to double major, as is my roommate. We both have multiple jobs to support our apartment but with expenses, we're borderline broke. There's enough to get by, that being said when classes start is where the trouble begins. Marriage is looking pretty tempting right now. Is it really all it's cracked out to be? Here are the details I've heard so far; You get generous financial aid meaning starving is less likely, Married life is less expensive which is less cost of living in an apartment or house, Mutual motivation from your spouse (depends but mine's fine), and it prepares you for what marriage is actually like.

In Short, my maybe wife and I will pay less for college, less for housing, have that emotional support most people lack, and get a taste of what being married to a man is like (sort of). The bargain is that if we actually go through with this, we'll still date men as we please and if we're in an actual relationship and the guy proposes we get a divorce. Imagine your maid of honor is your ex-wife? There's more humor to it. He picks you up for a date and she's watching tv. Before you go, "Bye Honey!", or she gets the door for you and introduces herself as your actual married wife. The situation is so complex that I'm actually near writing a book about it. Here's where I advertise my Finding Mr. Darcy book trilogy that's in the works. If there's one thing I know about, it's being single. I'm the Carrie Bradshaw of singles instead of sex, that is if I can even claim that title. I asked my friend if he thought being married had all the perks and he said this; "It's a pipedream trying to trap singles into thinking life is better with someone else. True as that last statement maybe, the rest is not. The idea is that after marriage it's time to settle down. You move into a cottage in the plains, wide-open spaces where all the little kids can run around. Your husband comes back from work and the two of you snuggle in bed without a care, it's bullshit. Girls and I mean girls are too high maintenance now that you've got to give them everything they want or it's no deal. Hell, you're even lucky to find a woman who actually wants to care for you as much as herself. Total pipedream, and waste in this century."

That was the first time I had ever heard him speak so hopelessly about love. I expected an answer like "No, true love is out there somewhere." as he often said, but this was not the case at all. Either he was in a really bad mood that day, or I don't know my best friend like I thought I did. The next day, I decided to take a look at married couples in the workplace, by workplace, I mean my job in digital services. From what I was seeing was a lot of arguing. Either the man would be on the computer and the woman was nagging on him the whole time or the woman was on the computer and the man was making her feel like she was stupid. If both parties were separate, the wife would call every ten minutes to ask meaningless questions, or the wife was present with two or more hyper kids. It was hard for them to get anything done with or without their spouse present. I also decided to take a look at single parents and the closest one was my sister. In 2019, she got pregnant with my nephew by her boyfriend Will. She had him in march of 2020, so he's about a year old and beginning to get used to his legs. When she's home, she's stressed from being home from work, and on her off days, she's stressed with her son's rambunctious behavior. Our mother watches him when she's working her ten-hour shifts and leaves the rest to her when she gets back. Pretty soon it'll just be my sister and her kid when mom moves down south of the US. Both can verify that he's quite the handful and with my experience, he is. That doesn't mean I love him any less, but my share of babysitting isn't any easier.

The situation is mutual whether you're married or not with kids. Stress with a side of stress and exhaustion. Putting kids aside, I've seen couples without kids like my maybe wife's other best friend. Things seem all prim and proper when they come to visit, but according to her, they still manage to argue almost on a daily. My coworkers feel the same way about marriage life even when I had explained my situation. They continued to urge me to take things into careful consideration before jumping head into marriage. I kept getting negative answers from people despite my search to find some hope for the situation. Then the question crossed my mind; despite the fairytale images given to us in childhood, is it really worth the trouble of getting married?

Julie: "It always ends in tears. Someone leaves, someone dies, or you get a divorce."

Varsha: "So long as they compliment you. You need support from both parties for it to work."

Denny: "It depends. You don't need a man or woman to support you all the way, you can do fine just being single. My wife and I are great, but I'd be just as fine alone."

Enzo: "No. All odds are against you in the long run. The woman finds someone else to bug and takes half of everything."

Annie: "It's more of a want than a need. The best thing is not to be pressured into it if you're not 100% into it."

Vinny: "Only if you're ready and trust each other all the way."

Marcus: "The question you should be asking is if friendship is worth it. That's what it really comes down to."

Lori: "It can be fulfilling despite the fear of failure."

The answers kept leading me in circles and in the end, I wound up back where I started. It was a total toss-up of whether you got heads or tails, but I wasn't about to give in that easily. I decided to take my venture to a baseball game on Friday and what I saw there nearly startled me. A couple of 65 years renewed their vows at the stadium. I started to think that maybe all it did take was a bit of compromise and despite half the negativity from my interview and friends there really is someone for everyone. Perhaps the divorced people just haven't found the right person just yet. Like my grandmother on my mother's side, she married four men before she met my grandfather and they've been together almost fifty years. I guess you could say it was a task of trial and error, but it worked out in the long run. Neither of them has ever had a reason to want to divorce. Before I leave questions unanswered, yes my grandfather too also had his share of divorces. The numbers don't seem to matter, only the fact that there really could be someone out there for everyone. A glimmer of hope to end this rather late and brief update. I wonder if there really is hope, is there still time for we singles of every shade and orientation. Is there truly that soulmate we all long for somewhere besides where we are? Until next time and Much Love Your Way Darlings!