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fantasies-fairytales-n-fics · 10 months

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Code Blue Ch. 32- Heartbeat

Summary: Lee refuses to give up. Jo and Megan clash, ending in a shocking twist. More shock ensues as Jo has another unpleasant encounter. Craig and Josie have another long talk over more wine. A trusting bond and friendship is created. Lee gets the wrong idea.

*Warnings* language, angst

Stories Stories Stories Masterlist

Chapter characters: Lee, Josie, Ethan, Megan, Craig, Cyrus,

Salem, Massachusetts

March 7, 2023

The Lake House

"Hey, Jo, it's me again. I wish you'd at least talk to me. It's been a week. I see your things here in the guest room that you left and....everyday...I...I stare at the note you wrote. Your presence is everywhere, especially in my heart where no one else will ever be...I mean that baby. It's only you, it's only ever been you. Did you find my letter yet? I put it in your purse the morning after we had first made love. I...I need you to read that. I meant every word. Please, call me back. Let me explain things like I know I should have long ago. I'm ready now because...I can't lose you. I won't. I love you so much miss Massachusetts. Forever....and god...I miss you." Lee softly whispered as he closed his watery eyes.

Just as Lee hung up, the phone rang. He picked it up so fast, thinking it was you that he forgot to check the caller ID.

"Jo baby!?"

"No, Sorry Lee, it's Britt."

"Oh....hey, have you talked to her? Is she alright? I..." Lee hopefully blurted out.

"Lee, no, that's not why I am calling...and of course she's not alright, but I a not going to talk to you about her. The conference has been set for the negligence case. It's next week."

"So, the results of Henrietta's autopsy are back? What did it say???"

"I cannot tell you that Lee, you know that."

"Jesus Britt, just tell me if she died because of something I did. You know how long I have been waiting for this. I need to know."

"I'm sorry, I can't. Just a head's up, Mr. Carpenter will be attending, which that was to be expected. It's at 10am on Monday the 13th."

"The 13th...great." he said sarcastically. "Well at least it's not a Friday. Alright...I will be there."

All because of you, Lee had become superstitious about things when he never used to be, for he had witnessed way too many things to not believe, such as all the crazy relevant signs regarding you and him and also the thing pertaining to his parents and Jacob.

"Hey, can you at least tell Jo? I really need her there...I..I understand if she declines but...could you at least tell her? She won't call me back and I don't know if she's even listening to my voicemails or reading my texts and she hasn't even been online."

"If I see her. I'm not going to just text her about it. This is all between you and Josie. A word of advice though, as I've told you before. Get your shit together Lee. She's the best thing that's ever happened to you and you definitely do not deserve her. I gotta go."

"Yeah I know she is. You don't have to remin.....hello?"

Britt had hung up which only pissed Lee off. He was still angry with her for blabbing her drunken mouth to you at his dad's funeral reception about his one night with her many years ago and also telling you about seeing him with Ethan and Jason once upon a time.

"Fucking Britch!" he shouted, slamming down the receiver. Lee owned an old corded land line phone and there was nothing quite like the satisfaction of hearing the ringing bang it made upon impact.

Lee sent you another text, then got dressed and headed out, for there was something special he wanted to do for you.

"I had you. Last night I had a dream that felt like a memory. A glimpse of what could have been. Crossed signals from another life, where instead of all of this, I had you....and life was exquisitely simple and we were desperately happy. It was no dream. It was real. We had all that. I had you....and it's all I still want. Tell me it's not too late."

You had stopped at your mom's to gather the rest of your things, realizing that some of the items you wanted were at Lee's lake house after listening to his most recent of many voicemails and he was the most valuable one there. Were your things that important to risk seeing him? It would completely derail your out of sight, out of mind tactic which you already knew would eventually fail because you just weren't strong enough to stay away from him. Every minute of everyday was pure hell and there was no way you could just get your things and go. You didn't even know how you had managed to make it an entire week. You weren't sleeping, you weren't eating, you weren't talking to anyone except Britt and your dreams were consumed of Lee's face in the few moments you actually able to drift off. Dreams that were just like the text he had just sent you and now...now he said he's ready to talk...but were you? If what he had to tell you scared him this bad, then honestly, you were also scared to death to know the truth that you so desperately wished for. Well, isn't that what Daughtry crammed into your head at least fifty times this week at random times? the song 'It's Not Over'. Be careful what you wish for cause you just might get it all... and then some you don't want....

You sat on your bed and began digging through your purse to find this letter he said he put in there. How did you not see it? You soon understood after rummaging through your pile of junk and finding it on the bottom. You swear you had everything but the kitchen sink in there. You had to roll your eyes and lightly smile in wondering how the hell he ever thought you would find it. Why didn't he just give it to you? Maybe it was intentional? Maybe he wanted you to find it at a time you needed it the most...like now.

As you reluctantly opened it, knowing how bad it was going to hurt, you could smell Lee's cologne which hurt the most of all. You brought it to your nose and inhaled him in deeply, then began reading..

"My Dearest Jo,

One day our eyes met and you smiled at me and I had to pause for a moment because I felt safe, and I had not recognized that feeling. It was as if I just knew you would be standing there when I looked up again, and you were, literally in my house. I don't even have the right words to describe this to you, but I just knew, somehow. Despite all of the odds that have worked so cruelly against me, I knew in my heart that I had finally found the one. I truly feel that you and I love with a love that is more than love. The first time I realized I was in love with you, it was a night I couldn't fall asleep, because I knew that my new and strange reality was better than my dreams. Our tight hugs, our late night conversations, our almost kisses, I remember it all, and sometimes...a tear falls while doing so. You gave me something that no one ever had before. You gave me peace. Like a river that had been rushing, pulled by the current for too long, you made my waters still. I found rest in your arms.

I love you to the moon and back and beyond all the stars in the sky."

Forever,

Lee

Now you were just ugly crying as you clutched the letter against your pounding chest. This man was for real and he had been all yours. No one had ever spoken such beautiful and heartfelt words to you. No one had ever touched you or looked at you the way he had. No one could ever ease your anxiety, no matter what they did and how hard they tried, but it all seemed to have disappeared when he was with you, for his arms made it all go away, just like on the elevator. This was where you were supposed to be. He was home to you. Was it too late like he asked? Could he truly forgive you for selfishly walking out on him?

You needed to try and be rational this time because your irrational decisions are what got you in this mess in the first place, so you decided to go take the things you had back to your apartment and think it all over with out the presence of your sinister sibling in your orbit. Down the stairs you went, trying to ignore Megan who sat in the kitchen, talking on the phone and smoking a cigarette. That part, you could not ignore.

"Put that out! Mom will have a shit fit and I don't need to worry about you burning the house down with her in it."

"I gotta go babe. See you soon." she told the anonymous person on the line, then hung up and turned to you.

"You don't get to tell me what to do. You don't live here." she cockily smiled and took another hit, audaciously blowing the smoke right at you as you angrily stood over her.

Every ounce of rage you had pent up inside of you as you ripped it from her hand and ran it under the kitchen faucet.

"What the fuck! That was my last one!"

"Damn right it was! Go outside and smoke, preferably down on the street corner, doing what you do best, where you could earn some money to buy more instead of mooching off mom!"

"Oh that's just great Josie, coming from the beloved daughter who has all of Daddy's and Jason's money and don't have to work!"

"Gee Megan, do you ever wonder why that is??? You've been gone for years and then just pop in here when Jason dies. Did you really think he would leave you anything after all you have done?? And Dad's money is controlled by mom per his wishes. And I DO work, remember?? Or did you forget the family businesses I help with that you abandoned??? I guess you'll have to keep whoring it up."

"You entitled little bitch! So special aren't you?? And mom has control over your precious little boat too that by the way, she's selling!"

"I am special Megan, because I don't use my family or do shitty things to them! The only reason you're even here is because of mom allowing it since you're her daughter but she still knows what you are. A fucking freeloader....and mom would never sell Jason's boat. She would have told me first of all so you can stop lying just to piss me off."

"Ohhh no no no! No lies, you'll see. She wants no ties to his lifestyle and so you know, I do have a man now and he's quite rich thank you. A sugar daddy per se. How's that area going for you sis??"

Megan's grin was telling, as if she already knew about you and Lee's split and it distracted you from what she just said about the Haunted Star.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean??"

"Oh nothing. Just an observation. You just can't seem to keep a man's interest solely on you can you? First Gerry, now Lee. At least Gerry though, didn't screw you over for a guy."

"You need to shut your mouth before I shut it for you." you snarled though clenched teeth. "You don't know what the hell you are talking about!"

"Oh yes I do, and much more."

Just then, the rumble of a motorcycle pulled up and stupidly made you think for one second it was Jason until it began obnoxiously beeping.

"Gotta run! Ta Ta.." Megan jested and trotted out the door.

Out of sheer curiosity, you walked outside to see who the mystery man was and you soon wished you hadn't. There was Ethan on a Harley, black tee, no helmet, just like your brother would do.

He revved it up and smiled wide as you gaped at him.

"Ooooh she looks porangi." you heard him tell Megan who laughed hysterically and hopped on behind him, then off they went as Ethan winked at you.

After you collected your dropped jaw, you raced inside and called your mom, for she needed to be warned about Ethan. Even if she knew about him, she surely didn't know who he was.

"Mom! Call me back asap! You need to kick Megan out. Did you know about the guy she is hanging around??? He's bad news mom and I also need to talk to you about something she told me which better not be true. Call me! Love you."

You gathered your stuff and headed back to your apartment, completely mind blown over what you had just witnessed, so much so that you were trembling all over. Megan was a real tool and now it made sense pertaining to her not so subtle hints and knowing about Lee's sexuality. Ethan's been telling her things and surely, he was just using her to get to you and Lee, not that you cared about her one bit, for she deserved everything she would get by keeping company like Ethan.

"Stupid girl!!!" you shouted, wiping tears of anger from your eyes. You wanted to call Lee so bad, but first, you were going to go and calm down, then go from there.

In your frenzy of racing up the stairs of the apartment complex, you turned the corner and did what you did best, clumsily tripped over your own two feet and dropped your box of stuff, spilling it all over the hallway floor.

There, by the elevator gate stood Craig with some much older man that you had never seen before, sporting a pony tail of long silver hair, a matching goatee and a suit and tie. He looked at you, then Craig and back at you with surprise, then stepped forward.

Craig immediately rushed in front of him to help you pick up the scattered stuff.

"Hey there Jo, are you alright?"

"Uh...y...yeah.." you stuttered through your embarrassment as you knelt down to assist.

Craig looked up at you a few times, then quietly spoke. "Are you sure? You...you've been crying..."

"Oh, that. No. Bad allergies, that's all." you quickly responded, keeping your head lowered while piling the stuff back in the box.

"I hope I didn't startle you there miss...Jo is it?" the stranger asked with an attempt to know your name.

You stood up and Craig handed you the box. "No, no...I...I was just in a hurry and not paying attention....and...it's...just Josie."

Craig nervously chuckled, offering a cute smile. "Ahhh yes, that's right. Just Josie."

"Where are your manners Craig? Aren't you going to introduce me to your beautiful friend here?" the man smelling of old spice asked, gazing at you in a way that creeped you the fuck out.

Something in Craig's eyes and sudden change of demeanor told you that he did not want to and it was becoming clear to you that you had caught them both off guard. There were also these tiny beads of sweat forming on Craig's forehead.

"Uh...yeah. Sorry um, Josie, this is....my father...Cyrus."

Cyrus. Why did that name sound familiar? It certainly wasn't common....but somewhere, you've heard it.

He stretched his arm out, desiring you to shake his hand in which you reluctantly took, for bad vibes is all you got from him. His hand was large and clammy, pretty much how he looked in general.

"It's...n...nice to meet you." you softly said and quickly retracted your hand, cringing inside.

"Oh the pleasure is all mine...Josie. Do you...have a last name...just Josie?"

You glanced at Craig, who's eyes refrained from yours and rested on the box you were holding as his perspiring was becoming a bit more profuse. This man, his father, apparently made Craig feel the way you did...but why?

"Uh...it's....March."

Craig's hands went inside his pockets and his head lowered even more as Cyrus's eyes slightly widened, then swayed over to his son.

"Well...Miss March, again, it was a pleasure. I must be on my way now. I will speak with you later...Craig."

The tone of how he said your last name and the way he once again looked at Craig, had your skin crawling.

Cyrus then left, leaving an anxious Craig to try and avoid you.

"Well, I am sorry to have kept you. You said you were in a hurry so I will let you get back to whatever it was you were doing." he rambled out and attempted to quickly walk away.

"Hey, wait." you called to him, causing him to freeze at his door and slowly turn around.

"Maybe I should be asking if you are the one who is alright?" you then asked.

"Who me?"

You giggled. "Well, you are the only one out here aren't you?"

Craig's head dropped as he chuckled. "Yeahhh, I guess I am. No, I'm fine. Really."

Liar, you thought. "Well, ok...hey I um...well, you asked me once before if we could talk again and share some wine. Would you like to?"

His hands went to his hips as a befuddled look graced his face. "You mean...now?"

"No time like the present. I really could use a glass or two after the day I've had and try to relax a bit. Seems you could...too?"

"I uh, thought you were busy?"

"Yes, well, I was, to try and gather my thoughts and all. If you can't or don't wan to, it's alri.."

"No, no. Sure. Come on in."

Craig politely opened the door, allowing you to enter first and bee-lined straight for the wine.

"Make yourself at home. Red wine good for you?"

"Yes, that's fine, thank you."

You sat the box down and then walked over to him.

"Once again, where are my manners. Here, have a seat."

Craig handed you your wine and pulled a chair over for you, then he plopped down upon a stool, seemingly still very nervous as he drank down his glass in two gulps and poured another from the bottle he brought with him.

"Craig...are...you sure you're ok?"

"Huh? Oh...yep." he simply said as he nodded with a smile, also seemingly very distracted.

"Enough about me. How about you? Do you want to tell me why you lied about having allergies?"

"When you tell me why you're lying about being fine."

"Oooh. Touche'. Alright then. But ladies first. I insist."

"Ok fine. You're right. I had been crying. Seems to be all I do anymore. I don't know. It's a long story that would bore you to death."

"You hardly bore me. In fact, not even a little bit. I actually find you quite intriguing and I'd like to get to know you, so here's the deal. You tell me what you want to. No pressure, no judgment, just a set of ears and any advice if you ask for it."

Craig's face was sincere and patient, especially his kind and soft sky blue eyes that studied your pained deep gold ones, trying to figure you out. Amber, he thought, was the best description he could think of as he became a bit lost in them....and for some reason unbeknownst to you, you felt you could trust the man you'd only spoken to less than a handful of times.

"Well...I guess I could start with my sister, which I despise even calling her that. Mickey and Mallory would be a better fit since that's pretty much what I witnessed today as she took off with a complete psycho. A match made in hell."

"Ahhh, Natural Born Killers. Good flick. She's that bad eh?"

"Yeah, and much more. She's done so many terrible things to me and to people I care about and this creep, who's also caused me and those I love nothing but trouble, is suddenly in her life, well, probably has been for awhile and I know it's intentional, just to get to me and Lee."

"Lee...your boyfriend right?"

Your eyes drifted away in sadness, not knowing how to answer that now.

"Well....no, I mean, yes...or he was...oh my god, I don't even know right now." you stammered as your eyes began to sting. No way, you weren't going to cry in front of him. Nope. The more you told yourself that, the harder it became to stop it until you just broke down, immediately throwing your palms over your face.

Craig's expression instantly turned sympathetic and he quietly got up to get you a tissue, then he sweetly kneeled before you.

"Here sweetheart."

You couldn't move. Mostly because of humiliation.

"I..I never do this!" you loudly muttered through your hands in frustration. "I never cry in front of complete strangers."

His soft fingers, sprinkled with a rainbow of paint, gently took your wrist and coaxed you out of hiding.

"I'm not exactly a complete stranger and as I said, there's no judgment here. Your secret is safe with me. I won't tell if you don't." Craig assured you as he offered you the tissue with a warm comforting smile.

He actually managed to bring a light smile to your lips and you humbly took the tissue, then quickly wiped your mascara streaked tears away.

"I..I am so sorry. This is so embarrassing."

"Hey, no. Don't do that. Don't apologize for being human. A person can only take so much and sometimes, a good cry is needed, or even hurling a smurf against the wall in a bout of rage and watching it splatter can also suffice."

You hadn't laughed so hard all week as you remembered him throwing the can of blue paint against the wall and telling him it looked like he murdered a smurf. In fact, you hadn't even laughed at all, or even smiled, yet Craig managed to bring both out of you in a matter of 2 minutes.

"There...there we go." he chuckled. "That's better. We can stop talking if you want."

"Oh no, you're not getting out of it that easy mister." you giggled. "But...to finish up, this asshat my twisted sister is hanging around, he's the entire reason my relationship is in shambles. He's a manipulator, a liar and he's dangerous. He put his own brother in the hospital and got away with it because everyone is scared of him, rightfully so of course, but yeah, he uh, he is jealous of me and wants Lee all to himself, but Lee...he don't want anything to do with him...or at least he claims he don't..."

"But you...don't believe him?"

"I want to...I...I don't know Craig. What I do know is Ethan will stop at nothing to get what he wants."

"E..Ethan?" he asked, seemingly stunned.

"Yeah, do...you know who I am talking about?"

"He wouldn't happen to have long dark hair, usually in one of those man bun things, British accent?"

"Jesus...yeah that would be him. How...how do you know him??"

Craig stood up and went to get more wine. He knew him alright, because of Jason.

"You're right Josie...he's very bad news. Have you ever heard of the Zacchara's?"

"Well yeah, my uh, my brother knew them, Johnny in particular and I know Ethan hung around him...but...how do you know this?"

Craig gulped down his wine, then nonchalantly turned with a forced smile.

"Most do. Massachusetts is crawling with mafia. So, is this Ethan terrorizing you as well?" he asked, swirling the wine around in his glass, almost as if he were becoming angered.

"I suppose that would be an appropriate term. I mean, he definitely harasses me and Lee. As I said, he had the audacity to show up today at my own mother's house to get Megan."

"Well...if he comes around here or bothers you again, let me know. I'll handle him."

"That's...very kind of you, but really, you don't want to get involved with this dude and I really don't want you to be...I mean...he stabbed his own brother..."

"His kind don't scare me, but thank you, for...caring. Don't get much of that in my life."

Craig went and poured another glass, then sat down, looking a bit glum.

"Here Jo...or just Josie I mean, have another glass yourself." he offered, holding the bottle out to you with his arm a bit wobbly, clearly feeling the effects of the red vintage he had been drinking rather quickly.

"Thank you. Soooo....are you speaking about your...father possibly? You just...seem a little nervous around him and even a little anxious."

"Well, I guess that's my cue to talk now." he chuckled. "But, I'd rather not speak about him if that's alright. I didn't even expect to see him here today. Just like the other dude, he just showed up after being...away...for a few years and well...he's also...kind of an asshole." he said with a grin.

"Oh, well of course you don't have to to talk about him or anything you don't want, just as you told me. May I ask then...about your little girl? Have you seen her yet?"

"Blaise...no. She's my heart. I seemed to have lost all inspiration in my art since she's been gone. I know there's a possibility she's not even mine, but it doesn't change how I feel about her." he said as he took out his phone, looking so defeated that it broke your heart.

"Of course it doesn't change how you feel. She'll always be your little girl, even if she possibly don't share your blood. I know someone who is going through that and he loves his son just the same. I look around here at all your work and honestly, I think it's amazing. You're very talented Craig. Much better than my artwork." you chuckled. "Maybe...I don't know, what if you put everything that you're feeling about your daughter into your work, you know, do it for her?"

"Pretty words." he softly said as he picked up his glass. "But...thank you. I appreciate you trying to cheer me up. You're sweet, you know that?"

"So you're an artist too huh?" Craig continued, seemingly not wanting to talk about Blaise anymore.

"I wouldn't exactly call it that. You...you're an artist. Me? not so much. My work is nowhere as good as all this."

"Well, I'll tell you what. How about if I come over to your apartment tomorrow and I'll take a look at it...I mean, if that's is alright with you?"

"You...want to see my work? Really? Uh, well, ok. But just don't laugh because...I warned you." you giggled again.

"Yes, I really want to see it. And...if you ever want to use my studio, just ask. I don't have a problem with that. Also, so you know, I would never laugh at you. You're far too beautiful, especially on the inside. You're a rare gem just Josie."

"I uh..."

Your phone beeped, saving you from the words you couldn't find. It was Lee, which made your butterflies go flutter happy.

"Hey...I am sorry to keep texting and calling but...can I please see you? I...I have something for you and I just...I just really want to see your face. I am down at the pay and park garage by your place. I'll wait for about an hour. Jo...I love you so much. Please come."

Craig observed your reaction as you read the text and could tell you were going to leave when you quickly drank down your wine.

"Saved by the bell...again." he softly laughed.

Not really, you thought as your anxiety jumped into high gear knowing Lee was just down the block. You weren't prepared to see him and hear the dreadful truth he said he was ready to tell you. The truth that you knew would back up Ethan's claims. If Lee felt nothing for him, then why did he hide it from you?

Releasing a heavy sigh, you clutched your chest and closed your eyes, attempting to breathe in through your nose and out your mouth, for if you didn't try to control it, Craig was about to witness a full on panic attack.

"Whoa hey there sweetheart, what's happening?" he asked and swiftly came right to you, cupping your face in his hands.

You don't know what happened at that moment as you found yourself pressing your body against his, your cheek against his chest and wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. Craig's heartbeat was what you were in need of, the soothing sound of something steady and stable, just like you did with Lee.

After the initial shock wore off, Craig's gaping mouth closed, then he slowly and hesitantly let his arms embrace your tiny trembling body. He didn't know what else to do, so he quietly stood still, keeping you in your safe zone until you were ready to release him.

Craig's body was firm and muscular, but the way he held you was as if you were a fragile flower. He reminded you somewhat of Jason. Not in how he acted or in his looks, although he also had blue eyes like your brother, but in his height, build and clothing of the typical black tee and jeans. And what in the world was the cologne you were inhaling?? It was heavenly and intoxicating...possibly Dolce Gabbana? Whatever it was, it was calming, just as the thumping of his heart was and it took your shakes away.

"You ok?" Craig softly whispered, afraid to move as his chin rested lightly on your head while listening carefully to your breaths that were now beginning to relax.

Once you came out of your state of panic, you panicked again at what you had done and flew back out of his arms.

"Oh god, Craig, I...I am SOOO sorry. I...I...I...I sometimes...get these attacks....anxiety and all and...and....heartbeats...I go for heartbeats...they're peaceful and soothing and...and...."

"Heyyyy, try to relax so you don't have another one." he calmly said, placing his hand on your cheek. "I don't know what happened, but...you're safe here, I'll make sure of that. As far as heartbeats, well, you did listen to your mother's for nine months so it makes sense why you would subconsciously seek that out."

Or maybe it was just him that you found peaceful and soothing.

"Yeah, I suppose that makes sense...I just feel so ridiculous, jumping on you like that. I can only imagine what you must be thinking of me, some hot mess that you now regret befriending."

"Well, I won't lie, you're definitely hot, but I don't see you as some mess. I am actually thinking, what could have happened to this sweet girl to cause her defenses to come out in such a way? and also, you...think of me as a friend now?"

Was he for real? Like, a good real? He seemed to say and do all the right things and to genuinely care. Maybe it was because he had been through what you had, being cheated on and made to feel worthless....and having to question how someone feels about you.

"Yeah, uh, I guess I do. You've been so kind to me, which a lot of people just aren't anymore. Annnd, you didn't freak out on me when I freaked out, which I've had my share of that over the years from people who were closest to me. So..yeah, I'd like to call you my friend. I...I trust you and that says a lot in itself, cause that certainly don't come easy for me."

Craig looked quite befuddled and even a bit bashful as he smiled and lowered his head before bringing his baby blues back to you.

"Well now, it would seem I was correct about you being a rare gem. I totally get everything you just said and well, I didn't freak out because you needed comfort, not panic. Thank you Josie. I am honored to be called your friend and to BE your friend.

"Alright, it is settled then...friend." you smiled. "But..."

"Ohh, there's the but.." he chuckled.

"No." you laughed. "Seriously though, I hate to do this, sorry....BUT...I gotta go. I will see you tomorrow then?"

"Sure. Just shoot me a text when you want me to stop by. Thank you Josie...for spending time with me. It was really nice to have someone to talk to."

"Thank you as well, for what you did for me. It was nice to see you and talk to you again. Try to have a good rest of your day ok? You can always text me if you need anything, I don't mind."

Craig then walked you out like a gentleman, checking all of your surroundings. "I'll do that. See you later little lady."

Your heart was racing again as you walked into the car garage, which was full of cars but you didn't see Lee's or him as you walked around. Surely he wouldn't have left already?

Quickly, you texted him, simply stating you were there. The beep of his phone had you spinning around to see him approaching you with a humble smile.

"Jo...you came..." he said, slightly out of breath from hurrying to get to you.

"I...yeah...where's your car?"

"I drove my dad's old truck today."

"Oh...well, why did you park here instead of at my place?"

"I came to see Gordon, he works upstairs. Hoping to come to some arrangement with him over the farm."

"I see, well, how's that going?"

"I don't know, he's out right now, so I figured I'd just wait around and....are we really going to share small talk here like we are old friends catching up Jo?"

"I uh, well I don't know what you want me to say?"

"Maybe that you miss me and still love me? That you want to try and work this out, because I know I sure do."

"Do you? Really?"

"Jo please. Baby you know I do."

"Honestly Lee, I don't know anything, which became quite clear last week."

"Yes, last week when you just....left me, not giving me the chance to explain. You won't even talk to me."

"I gave you every chance to explain for how long now Lee, and you didn't and that alone tells me all I need to know."

Lee stepped up to you with his hands in his pockets and sad eyes.

"What you need to know is I love you, only you. Did you get my letter? Did you read it?"

"Yes, I did. It was very beautiful. Said all the right things."

"So you don't believe any of it? Jo, my god. I wrote that to you after we first made love. I wrote that from my heart Jo."

"Lee, I know you did. I'm not saying that you don't feel something for me, I'm..."

"FEEL something? You really don't believe I love you do you? Ethan wins again and you're letting him."

"No, YOU'RE letting him...and speaking of Ethan, he was at my mom's fucking house today, picking up Megan."

"What???"

"Yeah...you heard that right. He was on a motorcycle and gave me the smuggest look when they left, and why? because he can. He can do whatever the hell he wants because NO one will stand up to him and now he's using my naive idiot sister to get under my skin even more."

"Jo...I am so sorry. I know, it's all my fault and.."

"You think??"

"Can we...go inside and talk about this...please?"

"Lead the way." you softly snapped and followed him up the stairs.

Lee took you into a small office room and closed the door, then he somewhat sat upon the desk and gazed at you with his sparkling sapphires. A gaze that made you just want to run into his arms and madly make out with him

"Jo...I really am truly so sorry, for everything that I have put you through and still am. I never meant for any of this to happen. Please tell me you believe that at least?"

His pleading eyes made you soften towards him. "Of course I know you never meant for any of this to happen...but...it did. Why Lee, why couldn't you just tell me the truth, ALL of it? That's what gets to me the most. It makes me feel, no, it makes me believe that you have unresolved feelings for Ethan and I can't do it Lee...be second choice again or some stand in until you get bored. I need your heart to beat only for me."

"God no Jo, that is not what you are, nor have you ever been. Can't you see it? Can't you even try to? I'm here Jo. I've always been here...for you. Not him. I'm here, begging you to believe me. Why would I do this if my heart did not beat only for you? Sometimes, I swear it's going to stop without you by my side. An entire week Jo, you've been gone and it felt like a year and...my heartbeat right now...it's racing, it's alive again because you're here, feel it..."

Lee reached out and took your hand, pulling you to him and placing your palm on his chest as he held his hand over yours, gazing up at you with eyes of a lost little boy.

He was right, his heartbeat was rapid and strong and god, so was yours in that moment, being that close to him, feeling him, smelling him. Every ounce of control that you had possessed for that entire week was now gone as your hands went to his face, pulling him into a passionate kiss.

His supple lips, his tantalizing taste of mint gum and Drakkar aftershave rocked your core and if you culd have made love to him right there on that desk, you would have....but he suddenly stopped the kiss as he stood up, pulling your hands away.

"No, Jo, I can't do this."

"What? Why?" you asked in disbelief as you studied the look upon his face. A look of confusion in which you then sarcastically laughed. "Oh...it's him, that's why. Just as I thought."

"What? No Jo...it's another man's cologne that I smell all over you."

That just threw you for a loop as you had forgotten you were innocently just in Craig's arms.

"Oh god no Lee, I can explain that..."

"No, it's ok. I get it now. That's why you haven't spoken to me all week. So who is it? Gerry I assume since he follows you around like a damn police dog."

"Lee no, god no, stop it. There is no man, only you and you know it. The cologne, it's my landlord's and..."

"Your landlord's??? Wow, well that's a new one. So here you are, thinking I want someone else when it appears that you are the one who does. Is that it?"

"Oh my god, Lee stop. We were only talking and..."

"Talking? Over wine too? I thought I tasted it on your breath."

"For fuck's sake, if you would just let me talk. That's not how it was. Yes, I had some wine. I was having a bad day after seeing Ethan and reading your letter and I ran into him. I just needed someone to talk to and he was there. That was all Lee."

"I was there Jo! I'm here, always have been. You could have talked to me! But instead, you chose your landlord that you barely know to speak to about your personal problems?? Was I part of that conversation too?"

"Briefly yes, but I didn't tell him anything personal about us, just about Ethan. I wouldn't do that Lee."

"Sounds pretty personal to me, especially when his cologne is embedded in your clothes. How do explain that one Jo?"

"Because, after you texted, telling me you were here, everything snuck up on me, you know, like when it did to you at your lake house? I had a panic attack and I...I hugged him, just to try and work through it. If I hadn't, I probably would have passed out as it progressed. That's all it was Lee. I swear it."

"So...I caused you to have an attack is pretty much what you're saying. You could called me Jo, right when you felt it start and I would have raced down there, but you chose a man who don't even know you instead."

"Lee! Craig was right there and he's not a stranger. He's very kind and understanding."

"Which is exactly what you need huh, because I don't give that to you right?...and Craig huh. You're on a first name basis with him too. Well, don't let me keep you. I'm going to go see if Gordon is back."

"That's it?? Seriously?? Running away again. Imagine that. I thought you had something for me and were going to tell me everything???"

"Yeah that, well...my hearing is next Monday at 10, but you don't need to worry about that or anything else now because it don't even matter. It never did. Maybe I'll see ya around."

"Lee wait! Come on. Don't do this!"

"Do what Jo? Walk away like you did?" he calmly said and then did just that, walked away.

@redeemer46

youtube

#lee pace #lee pace fanfiction #code blue #doctors #love stories #dark stories #dark fiction #angst #ethan lovett #cyrus renault #jeff kober #nathan parsons #craig parker #mob fiction #Youtube

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blizziedoodles · 7 months

Text

I'm again posting drama here instead of twitter because my brother doesn't follow me here and won't blab to the family.

I'm not happy in my day to day life. I am NOT doing okay. I had to go off my ADHD meds because of a national shortage which made it so I can't afford what my pharmacy can offer.

My mom got herself a puppy that she gave up on less than two days into having her and pushed her on me and I love her, but she's a full time fucking job. She gives me AT MOST 4 hours a day to get everything done, and I can only take advantage of those 4 hours on Monday. I have shit to do every other day during the time she's tired. I feel so bad because I just CAN'T give her all of my attention. I can't give her the life I feel like she deserves. I know what I can do for her is hella better than what my mom would do, but I feel like such a shitty dog mom and I physically can't do anything about it. I'm ALWAYS IN PAIN.

I was pressured into getting a part time job to cover basic bills, which seems like a great idea on paper, but apparently the job I snagged is convinced that I can offer every hour of my goddamn life to them when I honestly can't. You hired me on for 25 hours a week; that's what I can give you. (Legit, as I was typing this I got an email for my work that I absolutely had to answer. I am not supposed to be working on Mondays.) Not only that, but I'm basically doing two jobs for the pay of one. I'm supposed to be a librarian, but I'm mostly a babysitter. I don't mind, I love being there for the kids. What I hate is having to juggle my "important library tasks" with taking care of the kids, and also the adults because honestly the adults are way more annoying and shitty than the kids.

Now my roommate is talking about moving out to live closer to his parents because his mom offered out a trailer for him to rent near her, which is great. He's also in the process of getting a better job, so I'm happy for him, but...This whole time it was framed as him getting a better job to be less stressed about bills and rent here. Now it's...he's moving out, getting a better job, and ...we can't handle the rent on our own here. I'm genuinely terrified, but I can't tell him because he apparently waited months to tell me because he didn't want to stress me out. I don't know what to do!!!!!!

My sister is trying to get a better job, which is great. But the job she's really going for is going to require us to move. 3 hours away from my mom, which honestly scares me. Because even though my mom has done some stupid shit and put me in some really frustrating situations recently, she's still someone I can turn to and I've never lived more than 20 minutes away from her. It's SCARY. I HATE change. All of this stuff is just piling on and piling up and I'm...possibly at my breaking point. I don't know if I will...mentally make it to next year.

#and obviously on top of all of this personal close to home shit #is all of the terrible stuff happening in the outside world #there's so much negativity and violence and just...despicable things happening #even that would be enough to send me into a spiral #none of the outside world stuff is about me and i'm aware of it #i just...i don't have the ability to do anything right now #i'm struggling just to get through a day without crying the whole time

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5amanthus · 11 months

Note

For the ask game :) 😈🎶🎯

Ask game

😈 Has there been a point in a story where you did something just to be playfully mean to your readers?

I don't know if I've ever been playfully mean to readers 😂 I'm either genuine, or just mean (i.e hurting blorbos, added angst, killing characters).

It's not really playful, but probably the closest example I have is this one person was obsessed with Purple/Xander, literally the biggest bigot/not-in-the-fun-way asshole™️/just downright awful character I had in the earlier part of my series and they shit all over my massively diverse/queer/disabled/neurodivergent cast of characters because I refused to give him a redemption arc, so later on I ended up taking some of their direct quotes and putting it in some of his dialogue while he was being an idiot and then I got rid of him a few chapters later.

"Perhaps you can give me some valuable insight then. Tell me about the crew."

He paused upon realizing the other man was actually trying to talk to him, "Where do I even start? Cyan is an absolute snake, don't trust that one. 'They' will backstab you. Lime is gross and has made 'gay' his whole personality. Black is creepy and a dad. Red is really fucking weird. I thought Pumpkin would be cool, but I hate her too. Yellow is okay, I guess. The Captain doesn't take anything seriously and he should have been fired ages ago. Pink is the nervous one. Uuh, honestly everyone is so forgettable. It's so hard to keep up with everyone, they might as well just be a bunch of colours with vague personality traits."

🎶 Do you listen to music while you write? What song have you been playing on loop lately?

I'm always listening to music and I absolutely do while I write! I've got over 100 playlists and pretty well all of my characters have at least 1 song if not more.

youtube

These are two I've had on repeat a lot because this band is great for just a specific vibe I need for a current original WIP about a trans woman going into a cabin in the woods to discover herself and she ends up coming out with a trans monster girlfriend 😄

youtube

Also been listening to this one a bunch because it fits a possible WIP I have about two characters who love each other trying to find the other again and again even as their ripped apart while their realities constantly change around them, but I won't say more because it's going to be a big project that I'm still trying to figure out a format for. (Brain says show, but I don't really have access to those kinds of resources, so I might write it but I think it's going to be difficult to capture in a story.)

youtube

This one is always on repeat cause it's a major Fuchsia and Dijon song and I have so many feelings about them, but they're not showing up again for a while. I have a whole scene planned for this one though, and some art too.

youtube

And I've got a whole playlist for the Spot/Venom fanfic thing I'm working on, but these two songs I've been listening to a lot out of the whole playlist. I should probably slap the playlist down, maybe in the fic when its done.

🎯 Have any of your readers accurately guessed major plot points? Care to share which?

I don't really have readers that comment their guesses usually? Also I'm terrible for just blabbing about stuff instead of writing it, so people either know what's going to happen, or they comment that they were surprised by things! Like this comment, I love it a lot :D

"This has to be my fav fic in your Crews series yet. For context, I have binge read up to this chapter over the last two days.

Cyan having an altered imposter parasite was a fall-off-my-seat plot twist. Whoa! That explained what they were freaking out about when they had to get scanned and I thought they couldn't get their gloves off, but they weren't able to temporarily get the parasite to leave their body (because it was protecting them from the spawn of Chartreuse, but Cyan didn't know at the time). I want to go into more, but this paragraph alone is too long already."

Or I did have someone really accurately read a scene/the hints I left, which was great!

"When she flinched away from his hand the first time he went to touch her, I wonder whether he thought he'd partly reverted back to impostor form and that was what scared her? It must've been confusing for him to see her flinch away from a normal hand and realise it had nothing to do with his nature as an Impostor.

When Fuchsia comes during the night shift, it becomes clear Dijon is bad at hiding not only his strangeness, but even his ability to see in the dark; I wonder whether Orchid knows he's an Impostor. If so, mentioning she'd kill Pantone if she had a chance might've been an indirect approval for Dijon to get rid of him."

And the only other closest one would probably be people accurately calling Black and Red as impostors in V-Crew, but I wasn't really trying to hide that one 😂

#Ask Game #Writing #Pyroweasel #Thank you for the ask! 😄

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b0ynumber2 · 3 years

Text

"i hope we kiss goodnight"

Pairing: Noah Marshall x Dan Pierce

Rating: T

Word Count: 6.1k Summary: Halloween Night is famous for the spooky stories and violent ends, but what if a romance blossomed instead?

Author's Note: First of all, happy halloween to anyone who celebrates it! These past few weeks I've been busy brainstorming ideas for this, and managed to finish it for tonight. This fic takes place in an AU where the ILITW gang never met Redfield, so Jane's alive and everyone's a little more stable, but there is still some mild angst thrown in. The characters may seem a little OOC, so I apologise if it seems that way to you. English isn't my first language, so there might be a few screw ups. I hope you enjoy reading this, reblogs and feedback are heavily appreciated!

Halloween night was a lively night for Westchester, with all the spooky stuff Oregon’s got, it would be a shame if the small town missed out on them.

But it wasn’t the prime hour for trick or treating, partying or marathoning horror movies just yet. It was six in the afternoon, and a pair of siblings were in a room. The younger one, Jane, sat on a desk chair that has seen better years, and the older one, Noah, was laying down on the bed, seemingly blabbing on about something.

“.. He said he was matching with the football team again this year, as like a goodbye gift or something. Knowing him though, he’s gonna look like such a dork--” “Noah,” Jane interrupted.

“Hm?”

“You’ve been rambling about Dan for the past hour.”

Noah sat up, face now in shock, “Shit.. Have I?”. Jane nodded, having a small smirk on her face. It wasn’t the first time Noah’s done this, going on and on about Dan, but he’s been doing this for literal years, even before he admitted to having a massive crush on him to Jane back in sophomore year.. They were now seniors. Jane would be lying if she said she wasn’t tired of Noah’s obvious pining.

Who even was Dan? He was formerly known as Westchester’s High “Star Quarterback”, but he recently dropped football to focus on his dream career. He’s been Noah’s best friend since kindergarten, watching Noah go through the stupidest phases of his life such as his emo phase, still staying by his side to this day. Obviously, he’s got good ties with his other friends: Stacy, Lily, Ava, Andy, Lucas, Devon and Jane, but everyone in that group would agree that Dan and Noah had a really close, genuine bond. They brought out the best of each other, respecting the other’s boundaries yet occasionally going a little out of their comfort zone, like when Noah dragged Dan to roller coasters and haunted house attractions, or when Dan taught Noah how to catch frogs and bugs, they never left the other’s side during those events, and it wasn’t like they were planning to anyways.

Noah liked a lot about Dan. From his looks to his personality, but he understood Dan had flaws too, he was stubborn and too empathetic for his own good, and Noah was hot tempered and impatient, it was only natural for them to fight here and there. Even then, their banter never got extreme, and they were able to talk it out. That’s one of the many things Noah liked about Dan, that he doesn’t test Noah’s patience, that when Noah’s mad he gives him space, handing him small things he could distract himself with to divert from his anger, and they worked.

Noah didn’t see himself as someone that was super likeable. He liked to think he was bearable, but that’s about it. He never saw himself being Dan’s boyfriend in real life, he already got shittalked over his appearance and behaviour by the cheerleaders, he’d rather not deal with a bunch of homophobes like Ben and Cody. But he didn’t have to be open of course, but Dan was probably not even that into him.

“Heellloooo? Earth to Noah? What’s goin’ on in that brain of yours now, hm?” Intervened Jan once more. Noah blinked at her, brushing her off. “S’none of your business. Don’t you need to get into your costume?”

“Oh shit, you’re right-- We’ve gotta get ready super early since we’re walking all the way to Stacy’s place.” “Yeah, and half of the group already snagged Lucas’ car.” “.. Well, maybe there are other options?”

Noah tilted his head, raising a brow. Jane snickered lightly. “Well, y’know.. Dan got his driver’s license like.. almost a year ago, soo..”

“No.” Noah shook his head, his cheeks reddening lightly. “He’s busy, and probably driving his former teammates over.” “You don’t know that until you ask him, you stubborn wuss!” Jane argued, lightly nudging her brother’s arm. He avoided eye contact, huffing. “C’mon, literally everyone knows Dan has the biggest soft spot for you, if he does reject your offer he’ll do it nicely..”

“That sure makes me feel a million times better, thanks Jane.” Noah remarked sarcastically, rolling his eyes. Jane pouted, getting up from her seat.

“Look, just ask, okay? If you don’t, then I will do it for you--” “Do not.” “Then ask Dan already! It’s not like you’re asking him on a date yet, jeez!” Jane got out of Noah’s room, leaving her brother sitting on his bed. He grabbed his phone, opening his messages.

Just ask.. He can do that. He’s done it before, so why is he so nervous now? He’s been in Dan’s car like.. once before, no big deal. Noah nodded, typing away his question.

‘hey was wondering if youre able to give me and jane a ride to stacys place?’

And the message was sent! Noah stared blankly at his phone screen for a bit, to see if Dan would respond immediately, to which.. He didn’t. Noah didn’t want to ponder on it for too long, so he put his phone down, getting up and heading to his closet, rummaging through it to find the same halloween costume he’s worn since sophomore year: a white bloody shirt with some baggy ripped jeans and a worn out jacket that is still oversized for him for whatever reason.

As he changed into the bloody shirt, his phone pinged from across the room. He decided to ignore it for a bit until after he got changed, out of convenience. He changed his pair of pants and grabbed the worn out jacket, plopping it onto the bed. Once he was finished, he finally snatched his phone, checking the notification.

‘oh im up for that, dont worry. devs coming along, is that alright?’

A sigh of relief escaped Noah.

‘yeah thats cool. sorry if it was sudden’

‘it wasnt lol we’ve still got like 2 hours’

‘well i already got ready if that tells you anything’

‘lol excited?’

‘you bet’

He was back with his obvious sarcasm, his friends’ are long used to it, so it wasn’t new, especially for Dan. He wasn’t one for parties, but being in a shitty place with his friends was better than being on his own. He didn’t like being alone much, but it’s a feeling he’s grown used to when he’s at home.

Ugh, why was Noah feeling sappy right now? He’s going to a party, he shouldn’t bring his own mood down, he was just.. nervous. He’s done this lots of times, hanging out with Dan, why is it that he’s getting nervous now?

He checked his phone, seeing nothing new, and shut it off once more. Maybe he’ll make himself something before he leaves.. Yeah, sounds good.

...

Noah headed down the kitchen, getting out ingredients for a grilled cheese sandwich. He turned on his stove, plopping a piece of bread onto a butter covered pan. He stood there, deadpan, as the bread was being lightly toasted.

“Noaaahh..” A voice called out from upstairs. Noah looked over, getting greeted with a familiar face.

Jane stood up the staircase with a grin, wearing a ripoff ghostbusters costume they got for like.. 10 bucks at a small store nearby.

“Nice costume. Matching with Devon again?” “Yep, Lily’s matching with us too. Whatcha making over there?” Jane said, walking down the steps. “Grilled cheese.” Noah responded, flipping over the lightly toasted piece of bread, planting a slice of cheese on top of it.

“Ah, the classic.. You know who’d enjoy it though?”

“Pfft, who? Pretty sure Mom’s lactose intolerant.”

Jane snorted, “I was gonna say mee..!” She arrived at the kitchen, leaning against the counter. “Gimme a bite-”

“Tch, no way- This sandwich is mine, make your own.” “You’re so mean, I can’t even cook that well.” “... Oh right, forgot that you and Devon somehow set off the smoke alarm making pasta.” “It was a one time thing, Noah. Besides, it happened…”

“4 months ago.” “4 months ago?!” Jane seemed bewildered, Noah chuckled, flipping the second piece of toast and planting it on top of the piece of bread with cheese. Jane’s bewildered expression turned into one of curiosity as she looked at Noah.

“So.. Did you ask him?”

“Hm?”

“Ask Dan to take us to Stace’s place, silly.” Jane lightly grinned. Noah blushed a little, lightly nodding. “Well, what did he say?”

“He said he can, Devon’s coming along with us too.” Jane gasped, now grinning widely, “Excited to see them again?”

“Uh, duh? They’ve been sick for like two weeks and I miss hanging out with them..”

“Knowing you two, you guys are just gonna play pranks on me.” “We’re playing cupid right now, Noah. Pranks can wait.” Jane winked, to which her brother blushed in response. Noah preferred not having anyone getting involved with his love life, and Jane respected that, though she does give Noah a nudge forward here and there when he’s being too stubborn for his own good.

On other news, Noah put his grilled cheese sandwich on a plate. The smell was one of nostalgia, as he made these years ago when their parents weren’t home. He still remembered the happiness in Jane’s eyes back when he made these, Noah likes to think she still expresses the same joy.

He cut the sandwich into two triangular halves, silently offering Jane the other half. Jane’s smile softened as she accepted it, Noah never liked hoarding his food for himself, and she’s grown used to that. It was a nice gesture, his food was amazing.

They ate the sandwiches together in the kitchen, enjoying the peace and quiet…

“Reminds me of when you were just a young boy.. Look at you now, Bob the Builder.” “Pfft, mom.. It’s not bad.” “I know, darling, I think it looks great on you.” The lady adjusted the young man’s plastic hat. “Go tell Picard your goodbyes before picking your friends up, m’kay?” A cat approached the young man, gently nudging his leg. He knelt down, petting his cat, soft smile on his face.

“See you later, buddy, I’ll miss you.”

“Don’t be back too late, Dan.” The lady let out. “I won’t.”

“And if Noah made something, do send it back here.”

“Not if I down it first.” Dan chuckled, getting up, adjusting his suspenders. He waved his mom and Picard another goodbye before exiting his house, getting into his car.

Getting in, he let out a deep breath. Dan was a little nervous, he’ll admit, but he refuses to accept why he was even nervous in the first place.

Who was Noah? Westchester High never seemed to care about him much, but Noah Marshall was considered a pretty quiet guy. Once you got to know him, he’d reveal himself as a passionate guy who was a sweetheart really, yet his sarcasm was strong, but he never meant any hard feelings. He’s got dreams, and Dan wants to see him succeed. Him and Noah were super close, he considered himself closer to Noah than Devon, which was a bit of a deal.

Noah’s dealt with Dan through his dumbest and lowest moments, like that one time he decided to get drunk because he couldn’t handle his exam stress only to have Noah sitting beside him in the bathroom as he threw up, or when Dan was really into superheroes as a kid and dragged Noah along to every movie premiere.

Despite all the good things about Noah, like his personality and some of his physical features, he had his flaws too. Dan tries his best to deal with them calmly, but he was stubborn, and Noah was impatient. Fights break out, but Dan never breaks Noah’s patience, he lets the other take time for himself, even if he’s equally as mad.

He shook his head, fastening his seatbelt and starting his car. He got onto the road, driving off to Devon’s place. He had the radio on, but the stuff in it was never that good. He usually just listened to video game soundtracks or the occasional alternative, sometimes he’d check out what Noah liked, and he’d like it too..

Dan sighed. Despite how he looks, he could never see himself being Noah's partner. He’s been hopelessly pining for him for years, he doubted anything would change anytime soon. He was likeable, Noah liked him, but definitely not in that way. But part of Dan still had that little hope that maybe his feelings were mutual.

.. Gosh, was the car getting hot, or was Dan’s face just awfully warm? He knew the answer, but no way was he going to fully accept it.

In other news, he was already in the woods, it was just a matter of time before he reached Devon’s place. He sometimes wondered why they lived all the way in the woods, which seemed a little inconvenient, but at least Dan got to entertain himself a bunch as a kid.

Talking about Devon’s place, he already got to the small neighbourhood it resided in. He parked himself, checking his surroundings before getting out of the car. As he took a few steps forward, he suddenly got greeted with loud barking from a nearby house.

“Cool it, girl-” A man’s voice called, possibly talking to the dog. Dan shrugged, scanning the area once more.

“Dan?” A familiar voice let out.

“Devon? Is that you?” “Oh my god.. Pfft.” Devon came into Dan’s view, wearing a ghostbusters’ outfit that seemed straight out of the package. It was clear they were holding in their laughter when they saw Dan’s costume. Dan simply stood still, a slightly awkward smile on his face.

“Can’t wait to see the rest of the team, you look so dorky.” Devon approached Dan, nudging his shoulder, “Where’s our ride?”

“Oh, right over there-” Dan pointed at his car only a few steps away, Devon simply nodded in response, heading towards the car, “Hold on, I’ve got the keys!”

Dan unlocked the car, approaching it as Devon got in the passenger’s seat. Eventually Dan got in as well, shutting the door beside him and fastening his seatbelt once more.

“Man, this party’s gonna rock, I know it.” “.. Yeah, I think it’ll be nice. You’re matching with someone too, right?” “Yep, Jane and Lily, I was gonna drag Ava in too but she was against it and decided to be a dead witch. Andy said he’d offer to be the ghost from ghostbusters, and I don’t know if he’s joking or not..”

Dan shrugged, smiling, “Guess we’ll see?”. Devon nodded, smiling back. Dan started the car once more, driving off the neighbourhood and into the woods once more.

“I know Stacy’s place is far, but you came to pick me up a bit early. What’s up with that?” Devon asked, glancing over at Dan. Dan’s face flushed a little.

“Ah well, actually- I’m picking someone else up. The decision was a little last minute, but I didn’t mind so-” “Oh? Who?”

Dan gulped, definitely aware he was never living this down, “... Noah. And Jane too, obviously--”

Devon laughed, nudging Dan lightly, “You’re such a softie for Noah, man. Did you offer a ride or something?” “He was the one that asked, actually.” “Oh my god, you’re the biggest softies for each other.” “Lucas is picking up like tons of people, I’m sure I was just a last resort-”

Devon sighed, rolling their eyes as Dan took a turn.

“Noah never sees you as a last resort, we both know that.”

“Well, maybe not a lot, but- Uhm-” Dan huffed, “Okay, I’ve got nothing.” “At least you’re honest, Daniel.” “Please don’t throw my full name in casually, it’s like you’re gonna lecture me.” “Pfft, chill dude. I’m just stating facts. Look..” As Devon started, Dan took another turn that led to a small suburban neighbourhood.

“I won’t pressure you, but you sure you don’t want to shoot your shot soon?” “Hm?” Dan raised a brow.

“You’ve been crushing on Noah for as long as I can remember. I’m not saying that you should do it tonight, but maybe ask him out at.. Some point?”

Dan went silent, most likely in thought, as he parked his car near one of the houses in the small neighbourhood. “I’ll.. maybe consider.” Devon smiled, “I’ll take that. Also, speak of the devil-” Devon pointed at the two familiar faces approaching the car. Dan unlocked his car as he watched along with Devon. Suddenly, the sound of two of the car doors clicking, along with two people rummaging in.

“Dev! It’s been like, forever! Your roots are showing too, y’know.” The redhead let out, leaning towards Devon’s seat. “It hasn’t been that long, Jane. As for the roots thing, I’m getting that worked on..” As Devon and Jane chatted amongst themselves the quieter one of the two guests looked over at Dan, silent for a moment.

“.. You clean up pretty nice.” The quiet one said, a small smirk forming on their face. Dan looked away basfully, chuckling.

“Thanks.” “Tsk, what are you even building anyways?” “Maybe a diner of some sort, who knows..” It was the other’s turn to look away bashfully, blushing, but a small smile formed on their face. Dan returned the smile, “Hit a nerve there, Noah?” “Like you’ll know. Start the car already..” Despite Noah’s words, he still had a small smile on his face as he leaned back to his seat, fastening his seatbelt. Jane did the same, still chatting with Devon. Dan started the car once more, driving off from the small neighbourhood.

“Ooh! I love this song! Can you turn it up?” Jane let out, leaning forward again as Devon turned up the volume, bobbing their head to the rhythm of the song. Dan and Noah sat idly, giving each other a look of mutual disinterest.

They did that sometimes, these little habits of giving each other a look or doing a small gesture, it was stuff like that that proved their closeness outside of their interactions. They were both pretty quiet around the group, so most of their interactions happened when it was just the two of them, it was comforting in a way. They could be vulnerable around each other without being judged. Obviously, they were comfortable enough to be vulnerable around some of the others, but Dan was definitely the most comfortable around Noah, as he felt like Noah.. related to him the most in a sense? Even Devon thought the two were pretty similar overall, so it definitely wasn’t just a him only thing.

Dan finally managed to get to Stacy’s place in a short span of time, Jane and Devon seemed to be having in the car ride, he’d like to think Noah also had his fair share of fun, even if he was quiet for most of the ride.

He parked the car in a safe place, only a few hundred metres from Stacy’s house, nothing the four of them couldn’t handle. He stopped the car, unfastening his seatbelt and getting off. By the time everyone got off, Devon and Jane already were way ahead of him, leaving him and Noah alone.

“They’re certainly in a good mood, huh?” “You know how they are, some things never change.”

“Pfft, true. Wanna go in together?” Noah asked nonchalantly, standing beside Dan. Dan nodded, smiling, “Sure. Would be pointless not to, we’re already next to each other.” He took a few steps forward, Noah managed to catch up quickly.

They walked together in silence, Noah having his hands in his pockets as Dan adjusted and dusted off his costume. In no time, they already arrived at Stacy’s front door.

“Not it.” Noah said, glancing over at Dan.

“You’re acting as if you’re in trouble.. You’re fine, man. Here, I’ll go first.” Dan responded, taking a few steps forward, motioning to Noah to follow behind him, to which he did. Dan knocked on the door, getting an almost immediate response.

“I was wondering when you two were gonna show up! I thought Jane and Devon were lying about you coming along, geez..” said a feminine voice, letting the two boys in.

“Sorry about that, Stace. They were already steps ahead of us by the time I parked the car.” “It’s okay, I figured.. Oh yeah, Jack and Carlos are over there if you wanna meet up with them.” Stacy pointed at two guys standing near the stairs. Dan nodded, waving Stacy and Noah a goodbye as he approached the two.

…

Noah waved back, glancing at Dan as he chatted among his teammates before taking a few steps inside.

“There’s some snacks and drinks in the kitchen, unless you plan on staring at Dan the whole time.”

“Shut up.” Noah responded, furrowing his brows. He didn’t want to be teased by Stacy for long, so he walked away before she could talk back to him. Stacy rolled her eyes, going back to welcoming in more guests.

Luckily for Noah, there were quite a ton of snacks and drinks he could choose from. He got himself a cup, pouring himself some coke, afterwards munching on some of the candy in the candy bowl. He finally had a moment to himself, not having to worry about being made fun of to death just for a few minutes.

Unfortunately, his eyes decided to subconsciously glance at Dan once more, noticing one of his teammates ruffling his hair as he grinned, blushing lightly. Noah’s eyes widened for a second before looking away, munching on the candy in his mouth a bit more slowly.

It’s not unusual for Dan’s teammates to be affectionate through actions, he’s seen them do these types of things to him every now and then back when Dan was still in the team. It always kind of bothered him though, but he didn’t want to be mean about it. Dan seemed to not mind it so he shouldn’t mind it either, right? Noah wished that was the case.

He scoffed, a look of annoyance forming on his face. Noah shouldn’t feel like this, he’s happy Dan has people he enjoys being with, but sometimes he just.. Gets jealous. It’s natural, but it doesn’t mean it’s good. He took a sip of his drink, wanting to think about literally anything but that interaction. Like.. How fancy looking the lamp next to the couch is. Yeah, that’ll do it.

Footsteps neared his direction, but he brushed it off as someone trying to get the snacks as well. Eventually, a figure stood next to him. He ignored it, staring at his drink, frustrated expression still on his face.

“You okay?” The figure spoke.

“Swell.” Noah’s voice was hoarse, it was obvious he was annoyed at this rate.

“Well whatever happened between you and that drink did not end well. Noah, look at me.” The voice responded, and Noah looked up, shoulders slightly jolting once he made eye-contact with Devon. “Something ruined your mood, I noticed from across the room.”

“Nothing happened, Dev. Shouldn’t you be with Jane?” “She’s with Ava and Lily. Seriously dude, what’s bothering you? You don’t need to tell me, but maybe letting out will make you feel better.”

Noah sighed, rolling his eyes. He swirled his drink around for a bit before taking another swig of it. Devon stood idly, waiting for a response.

“I’m uh.. Tch, forget it.” “Noah..” Devon frowned, crossing their arms, but still willing to be patient with Noah.

“I just.. Maybe I’m a bit jealous.” The last word came out a lot quieter than the rest. Devon simply patted Noah’s shoulder. He didn’t shoo them away.

“Noah, it’s okay to feel jealous. Happens to the best of us. But Dan does put you on a really high priority, y’know.” “Yeah, but that doesn’t erase the fact that his teammates just bother me sometimes. Seriously, I don’t get why they’re so touchy feely with him-!” “Hey, chill for a second. Everyone expresses affection differently, and it’s not like they have much time left with Dan. Trust me, they won’t snag him for themselves.”

Noah huffed. “.. Dan seems to like it. I’m happy he does, but..” “You don’t feel like Dan’s as happy when he’s with you?”

Noah slowly nodded, taking a small swig of his drink. Devon let out a lighthearted chuckle, “You’re sometimes just as stubborn as he is, geez.” “The hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means you’re wrong. You should hear all the stuff Dan says about, he could talk about you for hours.” Devon said, smiling, “He cares about you a lot, more than his teammates. And I know the feeling’s mutual.” Noah’s frustrated expression softened, now curious if anything, “What does he say about me?” “Too many things, we’d be here all day. They’re all nice, though, if that’s what you’re worried about.” Noah blushed, taking the last sip of his drink and putting his cup down. Devon kept a smile on their face, munching on some of the candy.

“You’ve got all these chances to maybe.. ask him out. Maybe not tonight, but you should definitely tell him how you feel soon.” Devon shrugged.

“I.. might consider. Not sure how I’ll do it, though.” “I’m sure you’ll be a pro at it.”

Noah scoffed, but smirked ever so slightly. “You’re a bad liar.” Devon simply giggled, pouring themself a drink. He headed towards the backdoor, one hand in his pockets and the other reaching the door handle.

“Where are you off to?” asked Devon, perking up. Noah glanced back at Devon, shrugging, “Getting some fresh air. It’s already starting to get a bit lively.” He pointed at what seemed to be a dance battle happening between the cheerleaders and jocks, to which Devon snorted at. They simply nodded, giving Noah a wave as he opened the backdoor.

Dan’s teammates were long gone now, busy challenging the cheerleaders to a dance battle. He was glad he was stuck in the sidelines, because the battle was.. certainly going. He fiddled around with his hat now in his hands, since it was a bit of a hassle to keep it on.

“Bleuhghh, Danieelll..” A voice called out from the steps. Confused, Dan turned around, immediately getting jumpscared by whatever green monstrosity he just laid eyes upon. Whoever was underneath the costume of the ‘green monstrosity’ snickered.

“Gotcha! Happy Halloween, Bob the Builder. Do you like my costume?” said the voice, revealing itself to be Andy. He set his costume prop down, now actually showing his face and body. He was wearing a plain black shirt along with dark green pants, to sort of match with his costume instead of wearing neon green leggings.

“It’s terribly perfect for Halloween, Andy.” “I know right! Scared the crap out of Jane earlier, so much for being a ghostbuster, huh?” Both of the boys chuckled, grinning.

Dan observed the room once more, noticing Noah and Devon talking from afar. Or at least, telling each other goodbye before Noah opened the backdoor, leaving Devon to watch the battle happening not too far from them.

“Oh right..” Andy mumbled, a look of realisation on his face. Dan glanced at Andy, raising a brow.

“How’s the crush thing going?” Andy asked, tilting his head as he looked back at Dan. Dan simply shrugged in response, scratching the back of his neck.

“Not sure.. I’m working on it.” “Ogling at Noah isn’t really doing anything.”

Dan blushed in response, looking away. “I’m not staring at him, geez..” “You just were though?” Andy replied, a confused expression forming on his face. Dan let out a sigh, crossing his arms, one hand still holding his hat.

“Okay, maybe I happened to steal a glance at him.. That’s it, though.” He was being honest, he wasn’t staring at Noah for that long, he just happened to catch him leaving the party, that’s all. Andy nodded very slowly in response, squinting at Dan.

“Well, anyways.. Did you see Lucas’ costume? He actually dressed up for Halloween!”

“Wait, seriously?” “Yeah! Hold on, let me find him..” Andy scanned the area. It took him a bit but eventually he pointed at something, face lightening up. “There’s the man of the hour! LUCAS!”

Andy grabbed Dan’s hand and approached the person who was seemingly dressed up as a.. Pirate?

“What was the inspiration?” Dan blurted out, slightly surprised over Lucas’ costume choice. He quickly covered his mouth, embarrassed over the sudden question he just asked. Lucas turned around, facing Dan, simply chuckling in response.

“Since it will be my last year attending high school, I thought I should go all out. Of course, I didn’t want to do anything bizarre, so I went with an outfit that’d be the most.. ‘unexpected’ of me to wear?”

“So you went with a pirate?” Andy responded.

“Yep, the Theatre Club inspired me.” Lucas replied, smiling proudly. Dan and Andy glanced at each other, then back at Lucas, shrugging.

“Both of you have pretty good outfits too. I saw Andy’s earlier while picking him up, I’d definitely give it a prize of some kind. You and the football team put in a lot of effort too, Dan.” Lucas continued, taking a small sip of his drink.

“Dude, I’d give you like.. Solid third place. Just because of how unexpected you actually dressing up is.” Andy said, eating up some of the candy next to Lucas. Lucas and Andy kept talking, but Dan stopped paying attention for a bit now, occasionally glancing at the backdoor nearby. Eventually, after a few more minutes passed by, Dan decided to take his leave.

“I’ll go take a breather.” He let out, taking a few steps towards the backdoor.

“We’ll see you in a few?” asked Lucas, slightly tilting his head, to which Dan nodded in response. He headed, getting greeted with the fresh breeze of the autumn night.

…

Dan looked around the small outdoor patio, noticing not one single person outside, excluding a lone figure sitting on the far right on one of the seats. It was a bit dark out, so Dan couldn’t see their face well, but he instantly knew who it was already.

“Noah?” He called out, facing the figure. He heard a small shuffle before he finally got a response, “Yeah?”

He smiled, approaching the far right until he finally saw Noah’s face looking at him. He sat down next to him. Noah softly smiled back, still sharing a glance with Dan.

“Needed some fresh air?” Dan asked, to which Noah nodded in response. He nodded along with him in understanding.

“It’s a bit better out here anyways, don’t have to deal with the loud jocks pissing me off or getting dragged into dance battles or.. Something like that.” Noah added on, letting out a lighthearted chuckle. Dan understood what he meant, being in parties was overwhelming. It was nice when it was nice and quiet, just the two of them..

“Hey,” Noah started off, “Remember when we’d always swim around in Ava’s pool during the summer? Always jumping in together, having water fights.. Her dad would get mad over us staying there for too long.”

“Oh yeah..! Those times were great..” Dan replied, “Or when we’d always hide together in hide and seek and never get caught 90 percent of the time? We used to always hide in this one spot in the woods, and everyone took forever to find it!”

“Literally. Looking back on it, it wasn’t even a hard spot to find.” Noah added on, snickering. Dan laughed along with him, grinning. “You’re right though, it really wasn’t, but we were like.. Eight. Eight year olds are kinda dumb sometimes.” Noah nodded in response, still chuckling.

“Man, I just remembered.. Your mom used to give me the weirdest looks during my emo phase, and I could never understand why until now.”

“Pfft, haha! My mom just wasn’t used to that type of fashion sense, but she never found you weird to the point of making me not to be your friend. She knew I’d never do it anyway, I care about you too much.”

Dan looked over at Noah, who seemed to be.. blushing? Wait, no, it’s definitely his mind just screwing with him, Noah wasn’t that easy to fluster. He brushed it off as his mind playing tricks on him, ignoring it.

“Man, my mom always liked you, so she always lets me chill at your place whenever, as long as I don’t do crime and stuff.” Noah went on, soft smile on his face.

“Mine always liked you too. I used to drag you along to everything.. You’re practically like a second son to her too.”

“Oh huh, that’s.. Nice.” Noah went quiet for a moment, still having a soft smile on his face. “And what do you see me as?”

Dan was a little surprised by the sudden question, he couldn’t help but blush. He saw Noah as so much more than just a friend, but he couldn’t just confess to him out of the blue, but saying he was a friend felt.. weird. Weirder than he wanted it to.

“My best friend.” Dan responded with, slightly flustered. “And you? What do you see me as?”

“My.. best friend too.” Noah replied, nodding. But despite the solid reply, there was a tinge of hesitation in Noah’s voice. Did he.. think of Dan as someone inferior? Perhaps just an item? Or maybe.. Something more? That might be a little far-fetched, but Dan was far from opposed to having his feelings be mutual, but he could never tell if that was the case.

“Are you being honest with me?” Dan blurted out. “Huh?”

“I- Sorry, I just.. noticed your tone of voice being off. Is that your honest answer? You can tell me the truth, Noah, it’s just the two of us.” Dan gave Noah a reassuring smile, reaching out for the other’s hand. Noah stayed quiet for a moment, in thought, holding Dan’s hand. Noah’s hand was warm, it was nice to hold, especially with autumn having rather cold evenings.

“.. Maybe I wasn’t being honest, what would you do then?” Noah said, the first half coming out in a whisper. “I’d ask for your actual answer then.” Dan came back with, “Take your time, I don’t expect an immediate answer.”

Noah nodded, taking a deep breath. “Okay, cool.. Could you put your hat down somewhere? You’ve been holding onto it for a while.”

Dan’s stern yet reassuring expression from before turned into a small grin as he snickered, “Inappropriate timing, Noah, but you’re not wrong..” He plopped his hat down on the empty seat next to him, his other hand still holding Noah’s. “Well? What now?”

Noah held onto Dan’s hand a bit tighter, “Is it alright if I do something I’ll regret for years on end?” Dan raised a brow, “Depends on what you’re gonna do. If it isn’t anything illegal, then you can go ahead.”

The other male nodded, gulping nervously. His other hand gently cupped Dan’s cheek, which instantly made him blush like crazy. He didn’t want to assume so quickly, but with Noah leaning towards him so suddenly, he kind of got the gist of what was going on.

Before he could comment on what was happening, Noah’s lips pressed against his. He could feel the tip of his ears burning as the kiss lingered for a bit longer, but eventually, it had to come to a halt. Noah let go, face bright red.

“Fuck.” He let out, “Ah god, I screwed everything up, didn’t I? I shouldn’t have done this tonight, I shouldn’t have ever thought about this ever, I--”

“Noah.” Dan said, voice hushed, “Do that again.” “Huh?” “.. Kissing me. Do it again.”

“Wait, but that means-- M-mmn-”

Dan’s lips pressed against Noah’s, this time more desperately than their first. It wasn’t desperate enough to the point of a makeout, but Dan’s tongue traced Noah’s lips a few times, just to lightly tease him, causing the other to let out an unprompted groan. They let go once more, catching their breath.

“..A-as I was saying,” Noah started off, voice a little hoarse, “I guess you.. Like me back?” “God yes. I’ve liked you for years, Noah. I’ve been waiting to kiss you for a really long time.”

“Me too. God, me fucking too.”

They chuckled amongst themselves, still trying to process what happened in the last five minutes. Dan held onto Noah’s hand a bit tighter, smiling and laughing.

“I love you so much, Noah.” He said in a whisper, “Can we stay like this for a little longer?”

Noah smiled back, nodding, “Yes we can..” he answered, leaning towards Dan once more.

“I love you too.” He whispered to the other, running his thumb on the other’s hand.

#choices #playchoices #choices stories you play #ilitw #it lives in the woods #noah marshall #dan pierce #ilitw noah #ilitw dan #it lives #it lives series #ilitw mc #andy kang #jane marshall #lucas thomas #noah x dan #it lives anthology

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justanotherlifeff · 4 years

Text

Levi Ackerman × reader

Genre: Angst, Hurt/comfort, Fluff, matured themes, slowburn

Warning: There's mentions and descriptions of underage rape and suicidal themes and self harm.

Your POV

The 57th expedition is two days from now and to make things worse, Hanji came over. She declared that as it is our only titan shifter's first expedition, we will be drinking tonight to celebrate. Although her motive was to experiment if Eren can get drunk, heichou strictly denied her requests since Eren is underage. I personally didn't want to drink because those men from when I was 5 were always drunk. "Drunk people are bad and dangerous" was a thought that was stuck into my head. Hence, I was planning to avoid their little party at all costs. It was morning at the moment and we were supposed to have breakfast. I made tea for everyone since I woke up before everyone else. I had already memorised how everyone had their tea, 2 spoons of sugar and milk in Oluo, Gunther and Petra's, 1 spoon sugar without any milk in Eld's, 3 spoons in mine and sugarless for Levi heichou. Eren didn't like tea. I had it all memorised because I tend to wake up before everyone else and thus, I always get the breakfast duty. I made pancakes for everyone and when I was done, I poured my tea in a cup and started reading the book. Every day, Levi would wake up early and sit with his own book and tea too. We would discuss the contents of the books when I go to clean his room. We would also share some of our personal issues to eachother and while I don't know how much it helps him, but it helped me ease up quite a but. Just as I was thinking these, he entered the dining hall as usual and took his cup which I had already filled with tea just the way he liked it. Eventually everyone else came around thus making it impossible to read because of the commotion. Hanji started blabbing about her experiments. Yes, she arrived yesterday and stayed the night in a spare room.

After breakfast, it was time for training. Levi heichou was giving me intensive 3DMG training recently since I already passed his strength trainings. We sparred more later, to test how much I had improved my strength and he won most of them due to his immense stamina which was impossible to match but I gave him a hard time though. In case of 3DMG, he decided that I wasn't making enough use of my agility and that I should be able to match his speed and accuracy. I was still learning his spinning move as I couldn't get a hang of that anyway. Today, we were supposed to have our last practice session as most of us will have hangovers the next day. Not me though. I'll just lock myself in mine and Petra's room. I've noticed by time that Petra tried to impress Levi heichou a lot. It kinda pissed me off because who even looks for emotional attachment when they might die anytime? And it's not like heichou was interested in her anyway. That's another thing I liked about him. He was serious about his career. I had always respected determination and I felt like there couldn't be a better mentor than him. However, something about it was bothering me. Levi heichou was making me feel things that I never felt before. It started with the way he looks during our training sessions, no, all the time honestly. I started having these urges to touch those muscles beneath his shirt, that showed slightly when he was sweaty after training, his clean shaven and extremely smooth looking cheeks and that extremely soft and silky looking hair. God knows how it would feel to run my fingers in there... Yes, that's exactly the problem. I shouldn't be thinking these. Things escalated when he convinced me to stop cutting myself, something even my parents couldn't do. It happened a week back.

One week ago

I was cleaning the floor in Levi's room while he was getting his paperwork done. "So, the protagonist is in a situation where he couldn't blame the antagonist as the antagonist had reasons to justify what they did too. It kinda resembles our world doesn’t it? I mean, titans don't have minds so, they can't really control what they are doing..." I was talking to heichou about the book I recently finished. "Hmm. However, one has to do what one needs right? The protagonist killed the antagonist at the end. It didn't matter if the antagonist had justification for what he did. It depends on who wins at the end. If the antagonist did, then the he would've been portrayed as the protagonist." heichou answered, not looking up from his paperworks. "Yeah. It's the weak who always loses." I muttered. "Not always. One can start off as weak but get stronger. That's what smart people who want to live do." Levi answered to that, before stopping for a moment and asking, "You mentioned that you want to live to make things right didn't you? What is the 'right' for you?". " I don't know, happiness? That's my goal." I answered. "Well, that's what we all want. Anyway, what's your plan to achieve that?" he asked. "I don't know, it started with getting strong enough to take care of myself but I don't really have an aim anymore." I answered, acknowledging it for the first time. "If you want happiness so much, why do you cut yourself? As much as I can recall, you told me, you did that to remind yourself that you're alive. If you don't have a plan, why remain alive at all?" he asked me, looking up from his paper works at me, raising an eyebrow. "Well, that's true... I don't know what I'm doing to be honest... Being alive honestly is pointless." I muttered as an answer. It was the truth. I had no reason to live.

"Oi brat, take my advice on this, you're an extremely skilled soldier. You think I am itching to be alive? I have a goal to be happy too and the fastest way towards it is a bullet in my fucking head. But, there's also another way, that is using my strength to do something for humanity, getting this war over for good and opening up a tea shop. My plan in this case is to stay alive and keep fighting. I suggest you to have the same plan. When this war is over if you are still alive, these people you saved will make a way for you. And trust me, cutting yourself won't help you at all because that only limits your agility as, trust me, I've got into enough fights to know how much every single cut hurts. It may not affect your performance by a lot but a mimimum percentage of performance issues can get you killed in expeditions. So I suggest you to stop with that shit and get your priorities straight." heichou advised me with a straight face. "So, you suggest me to try my best to survive? If I can get through this war, then the people will help me make a way?" I asked before pausing for a moment and stating, "I honestly didn't join the survey corps to make some dead people proud of me. I just wanted to die I guess..."."Well then, you're at an advantage both ways. If you die, you get to your goal. If you live, you get to your goal in long term too." he answered.

"Heichou, why did you join the survey corps?" I asked him out of curiosity. "Well, Erwin blackmailed me into it at the begining but later, I decided that my life was meaningless too and decided to do exactly what I advised you to do." he answered. He was right. If I survive, after the war with titans are over and the survey corps are disbanded, I'm sure they will give us all a way to live. However, will I always be alone? What's the point of living like that? No, wait, Uncle Erwin will be there... He's as good as family, so I'll be fine. Atleast as long as he lives. Maybe I'll even consider marriage... There are so many possibilities... Heichou was right. I had to survive or die in combat. Its good both ways. "(Y/N), if you really want to remember that you're alive at times, instead of cutting yourself, remember your interactions with your comrades. I'm sure you made an impact on a lot of them and you wouldn't be able to do that if you weren't alive." Levi ended his statement with that as I was leaving his room after cleaning. "Yes heichou. Thank you for the advice" I answered before leaving. An affect on my comrades, did he mean the way I intimidated them? But doesn't that mean that I'm an emotionless piece of shit? Or was he talking about my conversations with him? Did... Did I make him feel alive? Because, even if I hated to admit it, he made me feel alive. I felt like I didn’t have to hurt myself anymore.

Present day

Levi heichou beat me this time as well after we sparred for 30 minutes. No one lasts that long against him. During the 3DMG session, everything was going well until suddenly captain Levi attacked me. He came out of nowhere and tried to cut me but I instinctively dodged and tried to escape him. I was shocked as I didn't expect something like that. He was as fast as I am in 3DMG and with his special techniques, he was faster. He slashed his blade against me again and to block it I used my own blade but the blade broke. I was scared that he might kill me and that's when he told me that he was testing how well I'd do in unexpected situations and he definitely wasn't satisfied with my skills.

Levi POV

She was pretty good at running away but she used one blade at the wrong angle when I slashed my blade at her. Ofcourse she didnt learn about what angle to use because Shadis didn't know some of the tricks I learnt underground. However I expected her to use two blades. That's just common sense and the fact that she panicked in a situation like this is unacceptable for someone as skilled as her. She has a lot if potential but stupid decisions like that will get her killed. "Do you have a brain of the size of a pea brat? Anyone with common sense would use two blades. Are you trying to get killed in any unexpected circumstance? " I shouted at her. She kept a straight face but I could see the embarrassment in her eyes. Serves her right. "Sorry heichou. It won't happen again" she said with determination. I'm not usually too hard on her because she doesn't disappoint me often so I let it go. I taught her the angles she should use. It would make her blades last longer. She practiced with complete determination but failed to get the spinning move done. Honestly, no one I trained was able to do that, so, I didn’t judge her. However, she wasn't the one to give up. I respected that about her as a mentor. It was time for lunch and Petra already cooked stew. We had lunch and I saw her head upstairs and come down with her 3DMG and blades. "Oi where are you going?" I asked her. "To practice the blade angle and the movements you taught me. I want to be able to get the spinning move perfected." she answered, saluted and left. I didn't expect her to be able to do it.

I went to my office to complete some paperwork and after about 2 hours, I heard the sound of her falling down with a thump and occasionally, frustrated cursing. I went to the window and saw (Y/N) falling on her face every time she tried but getting up to do the same nonetheless. "Damn, this girl will kill herself at this rate." I thought and felt a bit proud about being her mentor. I looked at her graceful moves through the air, which turned into a complete disaster whenever she tried to use the spinning move on the titan dummy. "There must be some problem with her balancing" I thought. I found her beautiful the day I first saw her. "Just another pretty face that's gonna be titan food" I thought. After she sparred with me and sat on my face, I think I blushed for the first time ever in my entire life. I didn't let anyone see though because it's inappropriate. Now that I see her potential and determination, she seems to be more than just another pretty face. She is what I'd call beautiful. I knew she deserved a normal life and yet she chose this uncertain life where death my come and where its impossible to have a family. She is a very brave person. I know some stuff about her past. How she was rescued from a brothel before being sold off in the underground. How she killed a Garrison member but was let out because she was a minor. I was curious about her given that I was from the underground too. As these thoughts plagued my mind, I suddenly understood exactly what was causing the problems with the balancing.

"Oi brat. Get down here." I called (Y/N) out, who was sitting on a tree, about to do the spinning move again. When she got down, I noticed that she got some minor cuts on her face. Atleast her instincts were good enough to make her use her hands to prevent her face from getting hit. "Yes heichou?" she asked, confused. "I have a fair idea about why you can't get that move done. Your body proportions are what's causing this." I told her with a calm voice even if talking about it made me uncomfortable. "I don't understand..." she muttered, clearly confused. "Your breasts are what's causing the issues. My body structure allows me to distribute all my weight at the correct points but as your body structure is different, the distribution gets disoriented as your breasts are the weights that make you slouch forward easily." I explained as calmly as possible. This was awkward. I saw a blush slowly creep upon (Y/N)'s cheeks as she muttered, "But they aren't too big...". " Well, the simplest errors can make it impossible to master this move. I'm not sure if you can do it but try using bandages to bind you chest and make the surface as flat as possible." I answered with a stoic expression, which was very hard to bring given that I have never talked to cadets about their breasts, and the fact that this particular cadet made me want to rip her clothes off didn't help at all. "Hai!" (Y/N) answered before running off towards the castle.

She actually did it. It didn't take any effort at all. I was right about the problems with body proportions. You came back after a while with an almost flat chest. It didn't look comfortable at all because she looked like someone punched her on the face. I, however, was impressed by her determination. And, the fact that she was able to get the spinning move done at one try. Ofcourse, it wasn't perfect, it had many flaws, but, it was an amazing feat as no one else was able to get this done. However, I knew that this wouldn't work well with her because being uncomfortable on an expedition isn't an option. "Oi, get down" I commaded her as she got down from the tree, pleased with herself. "Yes heichou?" she asked. "You won't be using this move. You're not feeling comfortable in bandages and that's as obvious as it can get. Just make use of the speed training we went through." I advised her. "Yes heichou!" she answered and as she was going off towards the castle, I spoke up, "Oi (Y/N)! You did well.". "Thank you heichou" she answered, giving me a rare smile. She really should smile more often.

Your POV

I came back being pleased with myself after getting a rare compliment from Levi heichou. After some very intense and not to mention, painful training for 2 hours 30 minutes that compliment probably was the best gift anyone could possibly ask for. I went back to Petra and my room to find Petra sleeping. I took a shower and went to take a nap. I was asleep but I was woken by feeling someone drag me out of the bed. I woke up and saw Hanji dragging me out. I tried to get out of her grab but Petra and Eren also held me firmly. I could've gotten away from Hanji easily but I couldn't fight with three people grabbing onto me. They brought me downstairs and Levi heichou was there too with a glass of alcohol in his hand. I was shocked to find him here and looked at Hanji and she explained that she dragged heichou out here so that he won't drink alone in his room, in Hanji's words, like a sad excuse of a human. Apparently he drank alone before expeditions. No matter how hard I tried to avoid drinking, Hanji was relentless. I had to drink a few sips of alcohol. As the alcohol started kicking in, Hanji convinced heichou to have a drinking contest. I had to admit that the alcohol made me feel light headed and more confident. I liked the feeling despite the horrible taste which is why I drank a bit more than I planned to. Then I remembered that my body weight was not enough to take it all but my head started spinning by then and I was slipping on and off my consciousness.

Levi POV

Hanji thought that she would win because she was taller but she didn't know about my high alcohol tolerance. After an entire bottle, Hanji was done. It seemed that she had lower alcohol tolerance than I imagined. I had one more glass and I won naturally. I was pretty drunk and thought it's best to go to bed. Before I got up, (Y/N) puked. Everyone was a bit surprised as they didn't notice her taking on two glasses like an idiot. Since no one was sober enough to get her up to her room, I knew I had to do it "Tch! They had to get wasted now." Eren was already sleeping as he wasn't allowed to drink. "Ofcourse she puked. She didn't come down for dinner" I remembered. "Petra, get Eren to clean this mess up. I'm taking her upstairs and you're coming with me to clean her up" I stated with authority to a tipsy Petra. I took her to the bathroom in their room and made her sit on the floor. She was barely conscious. I waited outside for Petra to be done washing and dressing her so that I can pick her and put her to bed. Petra called me when she was done. I picked (Y/N) up and put her to bed while Petra was washing her clothes.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Your past will be explained now. It includes rape and underage sexual acts and, well, some seriously nasty stuff so don't read if it bothers you. Skip to the next chapter in that case.

"Heichou?" she called out weakly before I left. "What brat?" I asked keeping my usual bored face. "The first day we met, didn't you call me a privileged brat? How does it feel to know that the only thing your prostitute mother told you is that you're born to do exactly what she does? How does it feel when those men do things to your mother and all you can do is sit in the room and read a book to pretend nothing is happening? How does it feel when those drunk men touch you, do things that they did to your mother and hurt you like your body is splitting? How does it feel to know that your mother left you to these people and that you'll never see her again? How does it feel to be hit and cut by these men? How does it feel not being given water unless you drink the semen of those people? How does it feel when you gladly do it because you are so thirsty? You don't know anything about the life I had, heichou. When they told me I'm safe after taking me out of that horrible place, I believed them and I regret it because that man I killed wanted to do the same things I went through in that hell. He told me that I shouldn't mind because he assumed I enjoyed these back then. I enjoyed slitting his throat and gauging his eyes out. You knew nothing heichou " she said, her voice cracking as tears left her eyes. I looked at her, shocked by her sudden confession. I had no idea that she still remembered what I told her that day. I had no idea it hurted her feelings to that extent. Besides, as much as I knew, she never said anything about herself to the court or to anyone. As much as I knew, she didn't talk in her court case about murdering that man. She only did it for self defense. I looked at the weeping girl. She was a brave soldier and seeing her break down like that made me feel things I didn’t quite understand. It made me do something that I never did for anyone before. I sat on the edge of her bed, took her hand and said "Now you know how to fight. No one can hurt you now. You can trust yourself and if you want, you can trust me. I'm sorry about my behaviour that day. I shouldn't have judged you without taking a closer look." She gave me a shocked look after I said that. I gave her a small smile, and left the room. This was the first time I smiled after years.

To be continued

Taglist: @kingtamakimurder, @realityisoftendisapointing

#levi aot #levi heichou #levi ackerman #levi x fem!reader #levi×reader #captain levi #aot x reader #aot anime #aot fanfiction #aot #levi ackerman × reader

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naturallysuperbullshit · 4 years

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S2 E10: Hunted

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Oooh more psychic kids at last

Okay normally I like the soundtrack but I do hate "White Rabbit" by the Jefferson Airplanes, mainly bc I heard the worst fucking cover of it live every Saturday at a former job for way too long and that ruined the original for me.

Fucking rip Scotty, we barely knew ya

Thank god they actually finished Sam and Dean's conversation and didn't just leave it at the fade to black

John told Dean that he had to save Sam, possibly by killing him, and Dean said "got it. Die for Sam." John "that's not what I -" Dean, making a deal "Too late, I'm dying for Sammy"

Snrk this isn't strictly relevant to the episode but I paused the episode just as Dean made a great face and I wanted to share

Sammy isnt the only one who can do a good bitchface lmao

Wait where did Sam get this address. We're missing a scene here, guys. Hello????

OH GOOD GOD RIGHT OKAY I FORGOT THAT THIS IS SOMEONE ELSE'S VISION

God honestly forget the Winchesters I want a show about Ellen, okay, I love her so much

...is that "Supermassive Black Hole" playing in the background??? What the fuck - I know it wasn't specifically written for Twilight but it's so synonymous with that movie now that it is REALLY throwing me for a loop

Why does Scotty's bookshelf have the same spread as my grandfather's tho

Yeah that collage in the closet is fucking terrifying thanks

AVA!! man Ava is so cute. Shame what happens to her in the season finale, she deserved better.

Jdhsjjsjs don't be so quick to dismiss Sam as nuts for having visions when you were JUST trying to convince him you weren't nuts for having visions make up your mind Ava lmao

JDBSBDHDBHDHD SAM YOU ARE NOT INCONSPICUOUS PLAYING SPIDERMAN IN BROAD FUCKING DAYLIGHT

What was even the point of that stunt, honestly

Dean why are you basically trying to be a peeping tom on your brother

Oh fucking Gordon goddamnit. I still don't like that he's still the only non-white hunter on this show and he's an asshole, that's so skeevy on so many levels.

FINALLY. FINALLY IMPLEMENTING SOME GODDAMN CODE WORDS. I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS SINCE LIKE EPISODE 6 GODDAMN -

Why does Gordon assume the psychics aren't human like... thus far we have no proof that it's not just a latent ability in humans, they haven't found out about the demon blood yet

I thought Ellen didn't like Gordon so how did he find out about Sam's visions - 'cause you know she would string Ash up by his toes if he blabbed, especially to someone she didn't trust

Oh fuck off, John wishes he was a tenth of the man Dean is. Dean's an ass sometimes but he's not a coward, outright abusive, or just a fucking awful POS like John.

Nice cello line going as Sam makes his way into the house, very reminiscent of Jaws and Hall of the Mountain King

The smoking boot is a nice touch lmao

Jfc Sam fight back a little

Yeah like that

On the one hand the smart move would have been to take out Gordon. On the other hand, I'm glad he didn't bc that would add a whole 'nother level to the skeeviness.

Could they at least have pretended to untie some knots instead of Jensen Ackles literally flipping the rope off his wrist bc it was just laid overtop

...yeeaaahhhhhh calling the cops on Gordon, a black man, with two guns in his hands.... that's as good as a death sentence, Sam. You're a prick. And the only reason he isn't shot on sight by them is because this is a TV show. Like I know we're supposed to be happy about Gordon getting arrested but this is a very bad look considering the relationship between the police and black people IRL. And not just now in 2020 - since the beginning of police forces.

Wow so Sam's face instantly healed and they're not gonna mention that huh

Amsterdam is a bold choice considering you hate flying, Dean

"The only thing we get is bad luck" pffft isn't the 'cursed with bad luck' episode coming up soon, too

"I don't believe in that destiny crap" also a good tagline for this show

I'll be honest i was expecting Ava's fiance to be on the ceiling, I forgot that he was just fucking... Slasher'd in bed

"Hunted" final thoughts: I'm not going to reiterate what I already said about Gordon because I feel it's redundant.

I like that they're trying to push the psychic kids plot forward more, but this overarching plot remains badly paced and often comes across like the writers forget about it for several episodes in a row and then suddenly go "oh wait shit right, Sam has visions! Let's play with that again!"

#s2e10 #hunted #spn s2 #supernatural #supernatural notes

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kaz3313 · 5 years

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Meeting with the Opposition

Chapter Two; Chapter One is below (previous link wasn't working) Chapter 3 is in the makings

@artthingymabob is who inspired me!

@dystopianinterstellar @azirafuck (also ask if youd like to be on the tag list!)

I honestly thought this would be a one off thing but oopsie daisy I got inspiration big time! Hope everyone enjoys 😊 Reblogs super appreciated

[[MORE]]

Azriphale doesn't mean to be late yet here he is running through a crowded sidewalk people giving him nasty sideways glances. He isn't technically late but he isn't early; everyone in Heaven is slightly early as the term "fashionably late" was made by a demon and no angel wants to be associated with one of those. Well besides two; one of which is dubbed a traitor and the other is desperately weaving through crowds and could be considered a hypocrite if anyone is to find out why.

The reason he is running late is because of Heaven; an angel gone off the deep end. They created quite a ruckus- shouting threats at everyone, causing damage to walls, and pulling up several plants from a garden. It was a fit not tolerated in Heaven and so it ended with them being locked in a room until further notice. He being the one to find an unoccupied room as well as having to catch them. Aziraphale is almost positive they'd have to put them through a trial (and he'd have to organize it) but when is still in the unforeseeable future. Even if he does calm down in that time period they is no possible way of getting out of a punishment.

The angel arrives just on time but his face falls at the sight of the demon, Crowely, has already nabbed a table. An odd feeling, that isn't embarrassing, arises in him at the thought of the demon sitting at the table, awaiting his arrival. An odd tingly half familiar feeling he shoves down while approaching the demon in wait.

"I would usually apologize for being late but l, since you are a demon and I don't dare say sorry to your kind, I won't," Azriphale states sitting down not daring to make eye contact with the other.

"You aren't late, really you're perfectly on time. But our kind don't take well to apologies anyhow; anyone who tries we throw into the hell hound pit and bet on how long they will last," Crowely says and Azriphale looks up; the most horrific look plastered on his face. "I'm joking! I'm joking! Thought a being from Heaven could take a joke!" He lets out a hearty chuckle and Azriphale gives a forced smile in return.

Crowely is only half-way being truthful in this, as he is with most things, as demons tend to throw each other in hell hound cages all the time. The difference being from what he said is that apologies don't cause such a reaction; it really is just a sporadic action done whenever something mildly inconvenient but thoroughly irritating happens. He doesn't explain the logistics though as he can clearly see the angel is troubled.

Why he cares is a completely different story that Crowley will rather not want to think about. If he did try to explain though the conversation that followed would contain lots of half truths, hissing, stuttering, made up words (which if you mention that they are made up he will snarkily reply with "well all languages are made up) and end with someone getting stabbed in a major artery. So it's best to leave him be with his unusual consideration.

"I suppose we should get right on to business since the jokes have ceased?" 'And proven to be unfunny' but Azriphale only adds that on in silence. He doesn't want to push any buttons he doesn't have to today.

"Thinking 'bout ordering drinks first; Hell has been a bitch like usual and I've needed something to take my mind off it. So drinks first, work talk after,"

"Drinks don't sound half bad," He momentarily massages his temples before picking up the drink menu "With no war I'm assuming Hell's been rowdy?"

"Rowdy is a group of bratty teens whose equally bratty parents are going out for a month. Hell is a barnyard that has no food,drink, or cages and several exotic animals. Everyone is ravenous. Demons are thirsting for bloodshed so much we've had to bust several groups trying to form secret strikes to Heaven that would not only fail miserably but be embarrassing to see play out. One guy thought he could do a solo mission- and I have little respect for your army but I'm also not stupid and would send a single low ranking demon against God's army," Crowley rants and if not for the waitress' arrival he would've gone on a tangent. He orders the drinks flatly and expects Azriphale to follow suit immediately.

The angel however is smiling at him which led to a flick of rage ignite. What had he to smile about? That hell was hellish and chaotic? He should know that just because everything is a shit-show they were not to be reckoned with.

"Same wine as his, dear," Azriphale addresses to the waitress and she smiles politely before heading back to the kitchen. "I find it amusing; the angels above are getting antsy themselves. Today actually one of them was found flinging a sword around wildly yelling about how they would deliver "divine justice" to anyone in their path. Of course angels aren't as cruel as demons but...the war not happening has thrown everyone off course. Even the most mild mannered".

That's why he was smiling- a light weight lifts off Crowley's shoulders. "This is exactly why the two traitors need to be dealt with soon- I feel it would bring ease to everyone. Including, the eventual, second Armageddon," The waitress returns a smile of ignorance on her face. She didn't understand how weeks ago she should've perished nor does she know what these "fine" gentlemen are discussing. All she knows is what wine and food they order and all she hopes is that they give her a significant tip.

"No doubt; those trouble makers will be given proper justice," Azriphale says picking up his glass of Chardonnay.

"And no mercy," Crowely adds on, raising his own glass "Toast for the second Armageddon that-is-hopefully-soon-to-come, Angel?"

"To a successful second apocalypse!" The two clink glasses both wearing uncharacteristic smiles and having found a new sense of determination.

"Ssso you're ssaying?" Crowely slurs out, its blurred whether alcohol or his snake side were responsible for his long s'. Many drinks are shared between the two and many more were to come. Business is attempting to be addressed but as neither has the gull, or maybe the relaxation is a tad addictive, to sober up halfway thought up plans were being discovered.

"I say that- well I think anyway. Why not just, we'll just watch the two! Eventually they'll bl-blab out something of importance! How they- how they gone- they gone to go be naive,"

"Native, you ssstupid Angel,"

"Oh, same difference! It doesn't matter exact terminology. All that matters is...well is the- the plan," Azriphale waves his hands around before returning to his empty glass. Instead of flagging down the waitress, they had the poor girl running back and forth like mad, he flicks his fingers and both glasses fill up. Crowley opens his mouth to say something but thinks better of it and sips the wine. "Whether its the Great Plan or Ineffable Plan or might as well be Plan B, I really don't care. We just need a plan,"

"We have our plan," Crowley says with a slight huff.

"Our plan?" The words our, referring to him and Crowely feel so foreign, scandalous even, but fit on his tongue like a well tailored outfit.

"Yeah- Watch Gabriel and Beelzebub until they fuck up again. Y'know feel too safe let some information slip. Maybe we'll learn a weakness or two-whatever. And once we know all the right sstuff we crush them!" Crowley slams his fist on the table to reiterate his point.

"Our plan," Azriphale still echoes quietly as if it is a secret to keep. Which in a way it is; if the other Archangels knew what he's up too, even under the sake of serving retribution, he could get in big trouble. Consorting with Demons led to well... he looks up at Crowley whom he's had two meetings with so far and more to come...apparently it led to professionals getting involved to track you down to find your weaknesses.

Sure maybe the other Angels wouldn't understand and take what he's doing a completely wrong way but he is doing what is good! Surely if he wasn't God would punish him, right?

"I'd say let's get dessssert before we head out our separate ways, eh?" Crowely says bringing the fretting Angel out of his worries (or at least creating a temporary distraction from them).

"Dessert sounds lovely. I heard the creme brulee is to die for,".

#ineffable husbands #good omens #good omens au #azriphale #crowely #swap au #long post #tw drinking #yes i made parallels that is my job #ask to tag

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