Many people suffer all their lives from this oppressive feeling of guilt, the sense of not having lived up to their parents' expectations. This feeling is stronger than any intellectual insight they might have, that it is not a child's task or duty to satisfy his parents needs. No argument can overcome these guilt feelings, for they have their beginnings in life's earliest periods, and from that they derive their intensity and obduracy.

Alice Miller, The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self

Some people care too much. I think it’s called love.

A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh (via books-n-quotes)

Sounds rather accurate.

PSYCHOLOGY FACT #570

People who suffer from anxiety, depression, loneliness and low self esteem have a limited ability to experience love.

Read more psychology facts Here

I’ve been accused my whole life of being ‘too sensitive’. This actually kind of pisses me off, but maybe that’s just because I’m too sensitive.

Sophia Dembling (via fyp-psychology)

English Language 2017 Exam

I'm rather excited for tomorrow's exam - let's hope it's good enough! My terminological explanations, using ambitious vocabulary and paragraph length is my biggest worry - even though I passed both mock exams. Please, Paige, get higher than a C - you've wanted higher than a C since the mock exam results. Good luck to yourself, Paige 👋🏼 Also, good luck to the thousands of other students also taking the exam - I hope it goes well for you all. I'm sure there will be a photo of my achievement on results day too! 🌸

I'm actually done with revision. I'm so, so done. I overdid revision for so many days on the bounce and made myself physically sick. My step dad punished me by taking my folders off me and going four days with NO revision. It almost killed me. I'm now stuck and my brain is utterly blank. There's 4 days until the exams. What the fuck am I supposed to do??

PSYCHOLOGY FACT #248

The human mind can only maintain complete trust once for each person. Once broken, it’s never the same.

Read more psychology facts Here

hey there gang! it’s jennie, a real life human with depression, here to tell you about all the ways that  i cope with my issues day to day.

1) try to stick to a sleep schedule

this one is literally one of the most important. you’ll notice that your whole world will seem to fall around you if your sleeping pattern is messed up. i keep to about 12am/9am but that can change to 11:30pm/8:30am if i have an early class. even if you don’t actually get out of bed, just being awake is sometimes enough.

2) organise your week (however works for you)

i usually use a planner alongside weekly hour by hour printables, but that because i work best when i have a pretty rigid structure. try out some different stuff and see what helps you the most. i also find that to do lists with deadlines freak me out enough to make me hop out of the funk i’m in and get at least some stuff done.

3) rewards

this one really helps me out. usually i try and complete a section of revision or an assignment and then spend the evening relaxing with my favourite show. it makes me more likely to do work if i know that i have something good to look forward to at the end of it. 

4) listen to your body and your mind

if really feel like your body is too exhausted and you can’t do much, then stay in bed a little longer, maybe listen to a podcast (my fave thing to do atm) and try and work yourself up to tackling a few tasks later on. don’t pressure yourself too much, but also try to push yourself when you know you need it. striking that balance is hard, but it can be done. 

5) make it to as many lectures as you can (and catch up with those you can’t)

i cannot stress this enough. even if you just go in trackies and put your phone on to record the lecture while you try and focus, it’s better than nothing. if you do have to miss something for whatever reason, make sure you catch up online, speak to your classmates or email your tutor.

6) don’t make excuses

speaking as someone who used to do this, saying, “no, i’m depressed, i have to stay in bed longer” “i can’t do it” etc etc isn’t healthy. you can do it, just maybe a bit slower and with a bit more effort, but you will get there. the negative mindset is part of the problem

7) ask for help when you need it

from your personal tutor, your gp, your university’s mental health service. people are there to support you and will try their hardest to do so. 

8) mentally condition yourself

sounds like a weird one, but it works for me. i have a lavender pillow spray, that i’ve conditioned myself to associate with sleep and relaxing, so now and can smell it and be asleep in minutes. i also have a reed diffuser and a candle on my desk that i’ve associated with being happy and productive (pink sands by yankee candle, if you’re wondering), and that made all the difference for me in the last year of college and this first year of uni. 

9) think about who/where you want to be

i know it’s super *eye roll* for people to say to you to ~think positive~ when your depressed, but it does sometimes make me feel a bit better to motivate myself by thinking about the person i want to be, and what i want to achieve and where i want to see myself in a few months/years. it might not work for you, but it can be a really good motivator.

10) when things get tough, keep going

try to find new things to make you feel better, maybe buy a little something nice, have a long shower, change your pyjamas, have some good food (food, food is so important. fruits and veggies make your brain function better) go for a fresh walk, talk to a friend about how you’re feeling, and then return to studying once you feel better.

hope this helps, i know it can be super difficult but it won’t stay this bad forever <3

Evening of revision and doing exam papers!

I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending that I don’t exist.

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone (2001), Dir. Chris Columbus (via wnq-movies)

PSYCHOLOGY FACT #585

Research uncovered that if a close friend is happy, it increases the likelihood that you’ll feel happier by 15%.

Read more psychology facts Here

Doing revision work and that's about it, I'd say! 🤷🏽‍♀️

I haven't done one piece of revision or homework this whole week. I actually feel quite bad: I am normally a freak for revision, homework and any work involving having to do writing. 😒

For years mental health professionals taught people that they could be psychologically healthy without social support, that ‘unless you love yourself, no one else will love you’ …The truth is, you cannot love yourself unless you have been loved and are loved. The capacity to love cannot be built in isolation.

Bruce D. Perry, The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog (via fyp-psychology)

I’m tired… I’m so tired. I thought I just needed a night’s sleep, but it’s more than that.

Inside Llewyn Davis. Dir. Joel Coen. (via wordsnquotes)

They don’t give up so easily nowadays

It was her favourite thing in the world to watch how days bled into nights, how the sky turned from blue or grey to orange, laced with shades of yellow and pink, changing into something entirely different if you stopped paying attention for a minute, until eventually the stars emerged from behind the clouds. If anything, nights were what made her feel alive. Nights were for the dreamers. It was the magical way everything seemed dimmer and quieter at night, yet more vibrant and louder. The edges and lines of the buildings blurred together, people’s features seemed softer in the weak light of the street lamps. Laughter echoed through the streets, faint and melodic. The reflections of the glaring neonlights burned in her irises, sharpening her senses and inviting her to burn, burn, burn - burn just a little bit brighter. She shouted words into the night, listening to how the city whispered them back, through tree branches and car exhausts and the faint music from bars and clubs. Every bone in her body hummed to the rhythm of her heart and the blood sang in her veins to join the song that marked the end of another day. At night she could pretend. Pretend that the moon watched her every step, pretend that the velvety night sky held all the possibilities the world could offer a girl like her. In a way, she’d always felt like one of the stars gleaming above her. Tiny, only a fraction of the bigger picture, too insignificant to matter. And yet. And yet she knew that it was where she belonged. Only a tiny pinprick of light, with enough courage and imagination to let herself dream of better days, stranded in a sea of people who didn’t see her. At night she could pretend that when the next day dawned, it would all be different, knowing very well that when the sun had set again, she would be out there again, head lifted to watch the stars, letting the lights guide her home.

dreamer / n.j. excerpt from a book i’ll never write (via ninasdrafts)