#I'm still here. i haven't left
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Idk what it says about me but the prison eps if andor were by far my fave
#I'm still here. i haven't left#when sol & i write cintavel we'll be at our most powerful#they were also more grounded i think#they really pulled 0 punches and for that i am ahhh#ooc.#tbd.#yes I'm still ignoring people. i have another half concert tonight bc we're only going for the two openers#and then tomorrow i am getting my hair cut but have to be at the office for hours#so maybe ill answer messages then#so sorry to everyone waiting it has been BUSY
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HAYDEN CHRISTENSEN
Star Wars Celebration Anaheim 2022 | Obi-Wan Kenobi: A Jedi’s Return (2022)
#hayden christensen#hchristensenedit#haydenchristensenedit#swedit#swcastedit#star wars#kenobi#a jedi's return#obi wan kenobi: a jedi's return#sw cast#sw celebration#kenobi press#starwarsblr#*mine#*2022#*gifs#1k#literally 🥺#mentally I'm still here I haven't left may-june 2022
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Hi Mei :)
#pmatga#my art#pmatga oc#mei lián#“I have been drawing Mei.”#“What?”#“I have done nothing but draw Mei for 3 days.”#well- it's when she was in her 30s^^;;#also when she and Betrayus were first interacting! Betrayus initially did not like her!#he wasn't used to someone actively trying to seek out and get to know him. so he was just his usual#“grr I don't like talking to new people and I'm always grumpy blah blah blah” <- paraphrasing#I really need to just. write everything I can about her down and then just slap it here because I feel like I haven't conveyed who#she really is and how she acts as a character. I feel like she's still too empty on a surface level in my drawings#but in my head she's /way/ more fleshed out#like she's an engineer. she has 3 younger siblings. she's a hard worker (to the point where even betrayus tells her to take breaks).#she's the person who makes betrayus open up and see the world in a better light! she had such a huge influence on him and helped him grow!#I just don't want her to be 'this is betrayus's wife! and that's it!' you know? I /need/ there to be more#but alas. it is hard for me to write u_u#uuuoohh I forgot I have to draw her motorcycle too..... uwwahhh...#also notes: I didn't draw her shoes on the full-body on the left. and I didn't actually 'color' her clothing on the full-body on the right#I grey-scaled it. but never went through with coloring it
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Hello Rassilon. Apologies for the deception but I rather wanted to make sure you started reading, so I thought it best not to announce myself. I'm assuming you're alone; you always did prefer to read your Asks in private. I wouldn't try too hard to stop reading, there's every likelihood you'll just hurt yourself. So just listen.
Anon ask of Omega (Your Ex) regarding Rassilon's current partners. Ask begins.
I hope you'll forgive me the self-indulgence, but I have worked so very hard for this moment, a culmination of two centuries of work. It's rare that you get the chance to monologue through another, and you can't tell me you're not curious.
Why does an ex seek to talk about their former partner's lovers?
It's a simple enough answer: for satisfying one's curiosity. Uninspired, perhaps, but my god. The discovery, not simply of the variety of partners you take interest in, but that you would quite willingly date the teacher of one of Gallifrey's most infamous children.
It's a strange thing to know about an ex, but the fascination, Rassilon, the fascination of it all. I have dedicated my afterlife to handing myself knowledge of these partners, and I feel nothing but satisfaction in this choice.
I believe there are far more people in this world that would catch your eye than you would ever guess. And I have preceeded all of them.
Of course, their desires did not manifest overnight. When Tumblr first gathered your romantic intereste – Borusa, Banthony, and the rest – to discuss and hypothesize on the nature of their love for you, I felt what I believe we all felt: jealousy, and anger.
But as attention on Tumblr increased in number and discussion on the greatest partner for you emerged, I began to develop a very specific concern. Banthony was so obsessed with his ideas on you and his marriage, even as our fellows began to flirt and confess our love to you ourselves.
I began to worry that if Banthony successfully attempted to catch your gaze, then I would be as much a victim as any, trapped in the nightmare landscape of a twisted world without your love.
At first, I attempted prevention, but the cause seemed hopeless. The only way to ensure I did not suffer the tribulations of what I believed to be an inevitable confession of love was to stop my own feelings of love. So what began as an experiment soon became a race. I would make you fall in love with Banthony before professing your love to anyone else, therefore eliminating what myself or Borusa's feelings may be.
And there, I think, we are brought just about up to date. I have enjoyed our little trip down memory lane, but past here lies only a happy future for you and Banthony.
Goodbye, Rassilon
- Omega xoxo
I- I don't know what to say.
Omega, if this is really you, if you somehow, by every twist and turn of fate imaginable, survived this long in some form... My love for you has always been the greatest of any I have felt. Never have I loved another in the way I loved you.
But that is in the past. I have to stop letting you hold me back. I made my decision that fateful day; I did what I had to do to reach the top, to shape this society- our society, our dream- in the way that it must be shaped. Gallifrey could never have had two rulers. You knew this going in. And, best of all, dearest love, you knew that I would not be able to stand a threat to my power and my control. So, as much as I loved you, Omega, my sweet Ohm, my darling Peylix, I had to let you go. For us, for our home, for our people, for our dream. For Gallifrey. We would both be dead and gone by now if I had not, but now, you live on in your beautous creations, and in our shared society. Look at our children. At what we have created. This must be enough.
Oh, but my darling, you never could be so easily satisfied.
That is why I loved you. And that is why I had to let you go.
If this really were you, I would say, dearest Ohm, that I am glad you are able to let me go. I know that must be exceedingly difficult. But, I am happy with Borusa, and I do not love Banthony. If I did not have Borusa to think of, perhaps things would be different, and I would honour your wishes. Perhaps, then, you may finally find peace.
I am truly sorry that I must leave you trapped in your death, but you will never be in a world without my love. My love for you transcends the grave- and yes, I know, it must be your grave, my darling, for you cannot have survived beyond. I know, in my hearts, that you are gone and that this cannot be from you, not really, for you are lost to all but my memory.
Goodbye, my love. For whatever isn't left of you, for whatever could have been- my love for you persists even now, across regenerations and across death and across time.
#sorry it took me so long to get here#this is truly the most incredible ask I have ever received#ask#omega#of rassilon#answer#banthony#borusa#also. a little obsessed with the idea of a once-enraged ex lover returning to being obsessed with the guy who LITERALLY MURDERED HIM only t#end up wanting the best for him and trying to match make him. And instead of choosing to encourage the love of a fellow obsessive sub who#is clearly in an unhealthy relationship with Rassy (Borusa)#ergo mirroring his own lost relaitonship#he chooses to encourage the love of a FICTIONAL CHARACTER who was basically a MEME brought to life only to annoy Rassy#idk what you call it... character development?? BUt this is certainly wonderful and intriguing and hilarious#seriously. you are brilliant#also I think it's important to mention that the mian reason this took me so long to get to was because the first time I read it I opened it#at school and burst out laughing in front of everyone#and I haven't been able to answer this without laughing uproariously for so so long#and then I took the break and then I left town for a bit#but I'm back and I'm still laughing so so much and yet here we are#I did it!!!#also I hope Borusa sees this and gets mad and finally leaves this bitch (rassy)#he deserves better#find later#omega omega omega
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anime resale stores here always have absolute mountains of love live figures from every iteration of the franchise with every character and costume you could imagine...except i've never been a figure girlie so i always just look over the shelf in awe because i can't really see myself buying anything. except, that is, for the early love live sunshine aqours figures with no legs. that, i would buy
#were these the first aqours figures ever?? they can't be right?#either way i remember just how early into lls this was#it's really burned into my memory i have no idea what they were made for though#i just always remember them. and their lack of legs#those shops always have the nice boxed up figures and then the ones that were brought to them without a box#left to sit forever in plastic bags on hooks on the store walls (until someone buys them)#some of those come in multiple pieces? like maybe stands or removable parts...?#but i always think it's gonna be one of these and i'm always so disappointed#cmon rashinban sell me one of the ugliest and most baffling love live figures of all time#personal#honestly it's not just figures i'm just really not much of a merch girlie#living in japan is slowly curing me of that though just because of how normalized it is for everyone to have character merch#i bought a really cute kanan keychain a while ago but then it fell off of my bag when i was out :( i still have no idea where i lost it#the normalization of it really helps though honestly#if you'd told me 2 years ago that i'd be buying little nitotan plushes of my fav characters to hold up to scenery while traveling and#take pictures of i definitely wouldn't have believed it#but that's just like a thing that anime girlies do here. i think it's really cute actually#i still haven't gotten around to actually bringing any of those plushes on trips because i forgot 3 times in a row#and then the next trip i took after that was with my family#nooooot a chance. oh my god there's no way i could've explained that and had them been like oh okay
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Man, just saw a post about it, but renewed my frustration over work nonsense yesterday
Being like, oh, cool! It's disability pride month! We get to switch the displays in the store! I wanna make a really cool display right up front!!
Getting a cart to go start selecting books from our wide array of children's books, picture books, YA novels, adult fiction, nonfiction, etc that I know feature disabled characters and people and that I've seen sitting on the shelves for a while, our previous book buyer was always suuuuuper vocal about finding books w disabled characters, after all, representation just MATTERED SO MUCH to her,
And then being absolutely dumbfounded when we BARELY HAVE ANYTHING outside of characters w ADHD/Autism. MAYBE anxiety. PERHAPS a character has cancer. THE FAINTEST SUGGESTION of a wheelchair in one book. Huntington's? Question mark? In another? Conditions resulting in disfigurement/amputation? The concept could possibly exist in this book, uhh.. maybe...... anything else? Ha! Not on these shelves I fucking guess?!
Like.... we have a ton of books w queer rep! Different body types! Different skin tones! Teach your toddler about social justice! Transgender characters! Nonbinary characters! The alphabet but we're making it gay! At least one book, I think, with asexual characters! But no, we don't have our self-empowerment books anymore or the little guide to sexuality and disability, we have Buddhist monk advice for anxious people, but nooooo we DON'T have that cool book that talked about disability activism anymore, and definitely not in time for July!
I know she and I were at odds before she left, and I know my specifically putting "National month of..." prompts up on my desk calendar after she expressed it was "so difficult to find out what each month is the month of!" probably really irritated her, but I'm like. Appalled that she hadn't been ordering to restock for disability pride month since she always made such a big deal about having books like that in the store.
#venting#work stuff#she quit at the end of june#two of my coworkers and I are sorta filling in for her role while a replacement is searched for and all that#i know she put in a ton of orders before she left so I'm hoping things start to trickle in#i haven't gone thru the order submissions in detail yet to see what we're expecting#but i'll be doing that later this week#as it is today was dealing with a mess of half unpacked shipments#and correcting little mistakes here and there and leaving instructions for coworkers tomorrow#gotta say i was so... disappointed hunting for those books#i looked at the sad selection of nonfiction and self help stuff I'd found and was like. yeah i think I'd be offended#if i saw these titles all grouped together for the pride display. it just felt bad#i made a halfway decent arrangement for the children's section but it took a lot of title research#and even then like half the titles i saw in recommendation lists looked so cool and i would think#surely we should have THIS one bc it looks like the sorta thing Buyer would have ordered and it seems neat as hell!#but. uh. we would have no order history for it.#hhhrrhhrhrhrgh if i see absolutely nothing in the orders we will be expecting#I'm gonna order a bunch of books#and try to plan out the next couple of monthly themes#hmph! even if I'm not the books person I'm still gonna put in SOME effort!!
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I absolutely adore how you draw rito and especially Revali! I still can’t get enough of him no matter how much time has passed. I know it’s been a while since you last posted—be it because of life or art block, or both—but I still will offer you my sincerest gratification for the artwork you have deemed worthy enough for us to see! I hope the Rito in Tears of the Kingdom provide us with the same kind of “inspiration” (brain-rot) as in BotW. Even if Revali probably doesn’t make a big appearance; and possibly even Harth as well 😩
this was 😭 so nice to come back to HWUEUFHEJEEHEB THANK YOU 🥹 revali may not be in totk but hey at least harth is ‼️‼️ I have. bigger issues with another particular rito that isn't in totk though 😒
sorry all I could provide was a messy sketch ‼️ idk it probably has to do with reagan 🤥
#totk#where are you kass... WHERE AR EYOU#I'm not dead guys !! I accidentally logged onto here last night and nearly died when I saw people were STILL sending me anons#😭 I'M SORRY I LEFT YOU GUYS FOR SO LONG I LOST INTEREST and although totk may be fun... it is not the same 😔#ay I still haven't finished though ☝️‼️ so u never know !!#actually I do know my favorite character so far is rauru 😮💨 I see a man with long hair n fold bro I'M SORRY IT'S JUST THE WAY IT IS#also . I seem to make new social media accounts for different interests I have so there is more art by me in other corners of the internet!#you'll just never know it was by me specifically❤️! BWIDJFJD sorry !#I THIINK I may come back to post some totk art here though ... not sure about that yet though#I said though twice there that was excessive smh but that's too much to retype I think I'll just die#n e way if anyone sees this hi 👋 ‼️#old habits die hard I cannot stop typing here for the lfie of me bro#OK I'M DONE
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(hi this is aroaceleovaldez it's a sideblog so i cant send asks from it hrg) a.) always love seeing your tags on my posts lol you have very good opinions [handshake emoji] b.) i'll be honest i wasn't even thinking about the awful pjo wwii stuff when i made that post i was thinking about the new, *different* antisemitism from TOA. of which there is. even more somehow. 😬
also fun fact Rick saying Reyna is allo-ace-coded on twitter might have actually semi been directly because of me, because he said that within like 2 hours and 2 tweets of replying to an open letter i wrote where i literally said that the way he wrote Reyna in Tyrant's Tomb falls into aphobic tropes and Isn't Great. despite replying to it i dont think he actually read it, lol. he then almost immediately left twitter for like 4 years and he also has since deleted his reply. fascinating stuff, truly.
anyways please excuse me digging through your hazel tag cause i am constantly dying trying to find hazel-focused fanart and you have one of the few good hazel tags i've been able to find. picture me scurrying away like some sort of small creature here.
hi thank u!! i appreciate your posts abt disabilities/ableism especially bc it's such an integral part of the story and a lens that gets lost despite that
i'll be honest, i haven't read toa (only short snippets when i want to see a specific scene), so i just read this article abt it, and it's frustrating that almost every example of diversity rick includes is riddled w harmful stereotypes. like, google is right there to help you avoid at least some! (psa to anyone else reading this, google "harmful [x] stereotypes" before making a character you're unfamiliar with!) the wwii stuff...rereading the series again like two years ago shocked me bc i had completely erased the entire plotline from my memory as a kid. some of these choices have me questioning the editors at the time, bc there were definitely things an editor should've pointed out if they were reading the full text.
your power! lmao but that behavior is exactly what makes it so difficult to give rick real feedback. i know some fans claim the older fandom is too cynical, but if we've been trying to give the same advice for years it's going to get old fast. every good change is accompanied by something else (especially noticeable in how percy is treated), so it always feels double-edged. but i'm glad you said this actually bc i didn't know he specified allo-ace! i had assumed he said aro-ace, but that actually makes the way ppl behave abt lesbians identifying w reyna more alarming...regardless i'm glad he's including ace rep bc it's rare, but the way reyna and the hunters were handled is...confusing at best.
please enjoy! i love hazel sm and i recently just went thru someone else's blog and queued a bunch of posts in a very similar fashion lol
#yeah i'm a fraud i haven't finished boo and the only thing past boo i've read is cotg#and that's bc it's short and i got it for free thank u elías :3#also i didn't know rick left twitter for four years that is so funny LMAO#i can't imagine being on twitter as someone famous tho i get stressed enough w this blog#anyway it is very frustrating when aro/ace identities get erased in favor of shipping so i definitely understand why ppl are#so defensive over reyna/the hunters but. still not a great situation here#ending this now bc i'm rambling#rr crit#answered
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I re-watched band of brothers again for the first time in 2 years and It made me miss when this blog was mostly hbo war. Also made me kinda sad because I used to have so many friends/mutuals in the fandom that I would talk to but a lot of them have left and now I don't interact with many people anymore
anyway I need more hbo war blogs to follow , so please recommend some or interact with this post if you're an hbo war blog 💕
#hbo war#band of brothers#the fandoms different now there are so many new people#which is great!#but it's still relatively small and I feel like everyone knows each other#since I haven't been as active it just means I don't know as many people anymore#I haven't left the fandom I'm still here !#just been posting about other stuff#this blog will always be a multi fandom mess#but I want to post more hbo war content again#forgot how much I love the show#I need to re watch the pacific again soon too#insert *i abandoned my boy* gif here#sarabel speaks#saras personal posts
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Some of my 1st/2nd/3rd/4th gen sims that I aged up and/or updated in the save I've been playing for 2 years (I think its that amount of time....the point is this is my main save for a long time). This is 27 out of 207 sims! And then there's another version of my simself in the last row (middle). 3 sims included here were made not born.
If you see this why don't you share the save you're currently doing with some of your favourite (or otherwise) born sims. I'm tagging you viewer!
#at this point my norms dont really match uk other norms but what can i say#they were all mixed up by the time i got here#i actually never really play with my simself in in this save but just She's hella nosey#when i tell you there were so many times that I've see sim me around at important parts of other (related) sim's lives#its crazy#the best part of having my simself in here is knowing that we're finally twinning with the hair cause i did my hair two days ago!#so FINALLY I got what I wanted (the hair is smaller and shorter though)#this was actually a speed run through the sims i have cause i mostly play with aging on pause so i haven't been able to add make up/accs to#most of my sim but that'll happen when i actually start playing their household ig#when i tell you its like 50+ but i think i only ever played 5/6 in the two year that i had this save#i'm about to fast track all the lives of the sims rn cause i wanna put my aging back on soon#i guess you could see the connections between some of these sims#i still got 21 sims left to update before I update my game 😭
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apparently i'm already halfway done my musicology degree??
#i wanna talk about me#between the course i did in undergrad and the frankly ridiculous number of courses i'm taking this semester#apparently i'm over halfway done already#i know the musicology portion is a smaller load than the library science portion but like#man it was weird walking into my advisor's office and him looking me in the eye and saying like 'oh you're almost done'#three courses is all i have left for a master's. Man#well i'm gonna spread those out over the next year and a half...and probably pick up an extra elective here or there while i can#cause idk man i like studying music history...even if i don't Have to i like taking the classes and learning#(esp if it's gonna be paid for by my fellowship as long as i'm still here)#well i need to figure out. how the hell to get in touch with a library science advisor now.#i emailed yesterday and haven't heard back#but i don't know what i'm doing for that degree going forward rn#other than. i guess taking 552. but i KNOW there's other specialty and elective courses i'll need to take too#and i want to take stock of what shit i'll have to take in summers too cause i know some of the courses are only offered in summer#(need to find out if any of my fellowship scholarship can go towards summer courses. i'm guessing not...)#weird. it's weird. i don't know what i'm doing here#anyway#meeting with my advisor went okay i at least know what i'm doing now re: the music stuff#didn't cry which is good but man i hate how my voice started to break more and more the longer i was in there#and when i talked about how i put too much on my plate this semester and am struggling to keep up with all the work#and he asked me if i've been reaching out to anyone for support. or if i had people to reach out to#and i just had to sit there like. uh#define. support?#i have a couple friends at least that i chat with about stuff like that sometimes but not always cause i don't want to bother them too much#but like. it's not like i can ask someone else to write a research paper For me#or it's not like i can control when my coworkers get sick and i have to cover their time in the office#and this didn't come up at all (and i'm glad for it) but jeez it's not like i can control global political conflicts!!#it's hard for me to focus on getting enough work done in small chunks of time in the best of times#let alone when my fucking hamster brain is on high alert for getting hate crimed in public if my necklace is too visible or something#idk. it's a lot man. i bit off more than i could chew this semester even before the world fell apart
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undergoing self-immolation from stress
#left dnd feeling kind of shitty and overall upset at myself for screwing up my character in the first session#anniversary artwork is taking forever to finish but i needed it to be done Tonight™ to make it in time for tuesday#which normally i'd say ugh whatever i'll just get it up by the 25th#but the stress of trying to get it done quickly has just made me sick of it#to the point that i want to be rid of it as quickly as possible#stressed about document renewal deadlines#stressed about car repairs i haven't even been able to think about because i'm acting as a chauffeur 9 days out of the week#stressed about needing to buy clothes for my internship soon (expensive and dysphoria abound surely)#stressed about needing to petition for my degree#stressed about poorly scheduled doctor's appointments tomorrow where they'll probably tell me my health is still garbage#and that they didn't order the right blood panel so i'll need to be stabbed another four times#ug hg ; ; ; ;#i feel like crying honestly ; ; ; ;#and all this isn't even counting voicebank things or other vocal synth work ; ; ;#how do i keep ending up here ; ; ; ; ; ;
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I want a drawing tablet with a screen so bad right now AAGH
#I have a srawing tablet that my parents bought me that's really fucking inconvenient to use#I'm left handed so I have ti fucking like configure shit because the default is fucking right handed and it kinda sucks ass on phones#maybe it's judt me IDK#it's rlly inconvenient to use on my phone or tablet personally I think a hugw factor is because we have no tABLES IN THIS DAMN HOUSE AAAGH!!#and using it on pc is a whole nother thing because I can only use ibis paint there for 1 hour and I haven't figured out how to use krita#my parents keep guilt tripping me when they see me not uding it like OK!!!#this is your fault I did not ask for this specific tablet it fucking sucks I'm sorry you spent money on it but you bought it for me so I-#-can draw digital art conveniently but tHIS IS ANYTHING BUT CONVENIENT!!!!#DRAEING WITH MY FUCLING FINGER IS BETTER!!#AND EVEN THEN THAT'S INCONVENIENT!!!#FUCK#I have an old laptop I need to go see if that'll work bUT STILL#I literally have not drawn a full piece with this tablet#it's soo damn inconvenient to me UGH#here's to hoping the laptop won't suck I guesw#otherwise I'll have to continue drawing with my finger like always
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college is kicking my ass like
why can't I be silly talking about cubitos and heart wrenching lore on a minecraft server and instead have to study and do loads of homework ☹️☹️
#live kai reaction#I'm just complaining because I still haven't finished philza's vod from yesterday#I just wanna know what tallulah left for him and the sugarduo crumbs 😭😭#qsmp#this place is a SCAM gET ME OUTTA HERE
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lmfao i send my dog to daycare so he can have some time around other dogs and of course NOW i get smacked with bitterness about shit from four fucking years ago
#jay speaks#you fucking said he was mine if we split. MULTIPLE FUCKING TIMES.#and then you refused me#and you don't even post pictures of him anymore#I'm being good I haven't fucking messaged you since I took Saoirse back#I've left you alone! I've moved on!#I just want pictures of the noodle boy :c#watch he's probably dead of something I could have paid to have treated or some shit#i'm sorry hesper i wish you were here living out your retirement years with me#okay moving on now I promise#at least for today anyway#ballister is a wildly different dog but he's cute and smart and i love him too#I just. I'm just salty. I think I will be salty for a long time#like jeez I've been fully over the breakup for years now#but I'm still mad about the dog?#why am I like this#anyway if it wasn't obvious this is about my ex not any of you#and if my ex is seeing this for some fucking reason#uh. hi if you see this evidently we both snoop on each other occasionally#that's fine I genuinely don't care#I just.... could you post about hesper sometimes#i miss him.
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.
#update for my friends here#(and then I gotta go read aristotle lol)#I'm doing ok. I think maybe I've made some friends here. particularly a couple of girls on my hall who have been very kind to me.#wish my emotions would come back and be normal#and by 'normal' I mean not just random crying whenever I try to sit still and think for a few minutes.#there's so much happening. my heart is pulled so many ways. I'm not sure how to resolve any of it.#and I'm aching for resolution.#but I think God is trying to show me how much more I still haven't done or experienced#even though a lot of times I feel like I've lived all of life there is to live and there's nothing left anymore.#I wish I had more trustworthy people in my life who are older than me and can help speak into this experience.#I need to call my parents and siblings back home. I miss them.#I keep questioning my decision to come here. maybe I should've stayed home.#I don't know. maybe it's all an exercise in trust.#I'm still afraid most of the time I think. I wish I could put that fear to death. I wish I could just lean back and trust.#everything just moves so fast.#if any of my post-college (undergrad at least) friends would like to give me tips for slowing down and being intentional with life#and relationships and stuff#during this phase of life--I am extremely open to hearing about them!#love you all <3
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