#I'm not a body guard.
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Jim Rockford, True Man of Action
Man of many passions: Justice, Women, Fishing, Tacos...
He's also an avid fan of hamburgers, hotdogs, and of course, cooking fish on an open flame, such as a barbecue.
He's even known to be distracted from important conversation by a missing condiment, like mustard. He often spills coffee on himself in the course of the most ordinary functions of his trade.
#hello this is Jim Rockford. Leave your name an number and I'll get back to you. 'Hey Jim- this is...'#tacos#hamburger#hotdogs#Dennis becker#the Rockford Files#Elizabeth Davenport#Angel Martin - coward cheat coward cheat coward moron and coward.#the lieutenant who's an asshole- whatever his name was#action hero#private investigator#Malibu#I'm not a body guard.#I don't do domestic cases.#I don't take open police cases.#two hundred a day plus expenses.#gold firebird#could I have my pants please?#if you ever wanted a character who combines James Bond with Sherlock Holmes- and a con artist schlub- well here ya go.
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area Durge willing to experience potentially unrequited love as long as they get to try brand new things such as TouchTM
#bg3#bg3 tav#bg3 art#durge#dark urge#look man i just have a lot of feelings about Guy Raised In MurderDeathSadism Cult-#falling in love with.... Guy In Vampire MurderDeathSadism Cult#and both of them being like yeah this relationship is probably fake but i'm willing to use my body to keep it going bc-#how else do you get people to care about you except for providing ServicesTM#BUT ALSO i get very BARKWOOF over guard dog and guy who should not be a moral compass dynamics so u kno#my ocs#tav: darias#weatherdraws
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get early access or leave a tip!
rare pairs for your consideration 6/50 - twilight x night glider
#my litte pony#mlp#twilight sparkle#night glider#twiglider#love the night themes between these two and their colors go so well together#even if it is just diet twiluna lmao#im picturing night here as part of twi's royal guard so we've got a body guard au i think#not the last time i'll do a body guard concept in this series tbh its really fun to do with the princesses#ive decided I'm gonna try and do 50 of these guys#rare pair challenge I guess#I'll add more if I find the challenge fun
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Aang, to someone being mean to him: it's okay, I forgive you
Zuko and Katara: Aang maybe forgive you but I don't
#venus rambling#Sorry had a very zutaraang brainrot lately#I FINALLY FOUND THEIR SHIP NAME BTW I'M SO LATE BUT WHATEVER#Zutaraang#Both zuko and katara is aang body guards even tho the avatar don't need one and y'all cannot change my mind#THE DYNAMIC AND THEIR PARALLEL IS KILLING ME#Anyways.#atla#aang#zuko#katara#incorrect quotes#Maybe idk I made it up based of meme
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if you'd like a good adult cartoon still piping hot and fresh and worth every minute of your time and every frame it inhabits then go watch scavenger's reign
#sporadic warbling#i dont overtly recc things often but definitely check that out#(if you can handle body horror. though i'm guessing if you follow me ad my art you can stomach it)#although there is one death that is like. so fucking brutal and out of nowhere towards the end even i was taken off guard#understand how bad a character has to get it for me to cover my mouth while watching and go DUDE--!#i'll go in depth about SR later bc i really did like it A Lot it is VERY me-core but with a much warmer color palette#watched Pluto recently too that was also p good
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Continuing on the Fox and other posts. There was this one post somewhere (maybe on reddit?) about someone having a cold and deciding to just pop in a nyquil/dayquil and go to their uni lesson, while drinking a can of redbul or something (please don't do this) and ending up completely blacking out for the rest of the day and just going through the motions while having no idea what's going on.
Fox wakes up one day at 4 am (because he has so much work he has started to wake up an hour early so he can get an early start), his head is pounding, he's tired and achy and sore and cold. He doesn't have the time (or privilege) to stay in bed so he goes and takes the cold medicine he has stashed in his office for days like these. He's still tired after that, and he doesn't have the energy to go get a cup of caf, even if a hot drink sounds good, so he just decides to also pop in a stim (his CMO has banned energy drinks after the mixing episode that gave Fox a resting heart rate of over a hundred) just to get the day started.
Except. Fox sits down on his desk, opens up a datapad, and the next thing he knows is that his lying on a bed in the medbay and there is an absolute chaos around him. He's feeling sore and achy again and he really needs to sneeze, so he tugs a junior medic that was passing by at the sleeve and asks for a tissue.
This just causes more chaos, because now he's awake and that is somehow a huge deal. His CMO comes to him running and asks what drugs Fox has taken. Fox doesn't understand the question. His CMO is losing his mind. He says that it's almost 8 pm and this is the first time Fox has said anything during the whole day and now Fox is losing his mind as well. He was just at his office, ready to start his day, what do you mean it's 8 pm already?
Little by little, Fox gets the story. He had, apparently, been found at the Senate Dome in the late afternoon (Fox has absolutely no memory of this) by a very kind Senator (Fox doesn't even need to ask who it was, he knows and he knows he will be hearing about this later), and that he was absolutely unresponsive, even though he was walking around. The very kind Senator had flagged down the other Commanders (Fox is definitely going to be hearing about this later), who had brought him back to the HQ. Fox had, apparently, looked absolutely high out of his mind under his helmet, and had just been lying in the bed after being pushed down on it while the medics had tried to figure out what the fuck he had got in his system.
Fox is just about to explain that all that was in him was one (1) cold medicine and one (1) stim tablet, when some poor trooper comes running in, gasping for breath, and barely gets out that the Chancellor has been found dead. In his office. Estimated time of death somewhere late afternoon that day.
The medbay falls silent. His CMO turns slowly to look at Fox. Fox stares back. Fox gets a feeling. That feeling that only blackout drunks, or people who have blacked out for estimated fifteen hours recently for others reasons, can get.
His CMO slowly pulls a blanket over Fox, turns to others and says that it's a good thing that the Commander has been here the whole day because he has a cold and couldn't risk the Chancellor's health, since, as you know, the older you get, the frailer your immune system becomes. Everyone nods. Fox kinda wants to argue about it but his CMO glares at him, and, Fox is achy and sore and tired and his head hurts, so he decides that it's maybe for the best if he just goes back to sleep. After all, this is the first time no one is going to tell him to go back to work while sick, because, well. There isn't anyone to do that anymore, is there.
(He's never really sure what happened or if it even was him, but he can't really complain. And no one else does, either, after they find some really interesting things in the Chancellor's office while investigating the crime scene)
#Palpatine is dead because he wouldn't give Fox a sick day and Fox's body decided that it was going to get one#one way or another#star wars#sw#the clone wars#commander fox#coruscant guard#Bail sends Fox a card and some nice tea#I'm also sick so this is really topical lmao
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#i'm sure this has been done before#but here it is again#jamie mccrimmon#boyfriend/body guard#twojamie#second doctor#doctor who#classic who
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"Where did you get that gun, anyway?"
He's a sorcerer, Sam.
#doctor mordrid#poor sam is given VERY little time to process#'magic is real/i'm a centuries-old sorcerer from another dimension/an evil childhood friend of mine is going to destroy the universe.'#'hey guard my body while i astral project myself into a dinosaur skeleton fight ok? bye'#jeffrey combs#flashing lights
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Goro needs V as a lightning rod because if they aren’t around then all of this shit is only happening to him, and it sucks.
Like, that man has a temper, but he is so carefully polite in that diner conversation. Even though he has every reason to resent V, he seems to have entirely let it go. He's very pragmatic about his ridiculous plan for vengeance and that makes him so compelling. You can even goad him into saying FUCK YOU outright and after a little while he apologizes. Not the sort of behavior you expect from an elite Arasaka soldier who just went through such a devastating loss and is primed for revenge.
I don't know- it's just fascinating to see that he's determined to do whatever it takes to take Yorinobu out at the knees. Up to and including being polite and almost friendly to the idiot thief he pulled out of a dump. Unexpectedly subtle for an old guard dog.
#cyberpunk 2077#goro takemura#it’s interesting to compare his overall goal with johnny’s#one last big fuck you and an iron obsessive will to get there#just gonna drop that in the tags i guess#could you imagine what damage johnny could have done if he could have managed not to be such a raging asshole 24/7#alternatively could you imagine what goro might accomplish if he ever really did turn against arasaka?#he's got charisma. got the will. got the skills. got the cyberware. knows plenty of dirty secrets i'm sure#yorinobu playing on the fears of every wealthy board member with 'loyal' body guards while he's got smasher stomping around behind him lol
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DID YA THINK I'M DEAD?
beCAUSE HELL YEAH I AM
quick and messy sketch of clown the pierce, because i am a fan, i must say!
#clownpierce#clownpierce fanart#lifesteal smp#lifesteal fanart#NEW KABOODLE'S VIDEO IS BANGERS MAN#i LOVED IT#and her ans clown's dynamic? man#i wish i had a best friend who would be my body guard and an assassin who workd for me :v#well anyway#I'm always having SO MUCH FUN while watching kaboodle!! she's amazing
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plug!eren sneak peek in honor of me dropping it later today
“You sure you don’t want me to walk you up?” Eren murmurs, mouthing at your jaw. The sound of his voice grounds you a little, and you giggle breathlessly as he brushes over a particularly ticklish spot.
“Told you I’m a big girl,” you whisper, “what do I need you for?”
Eren smirks, dark and dangerous. “Might need me to protect you. Who knows? There’s all sorts of awful guys who would love to take advantage of a pretty little thing like you.”
“Is that so?”
“Mhm,” Eren’s half-hooded eyes flick up down to your chest and back up to your eyes...
don't mind me popping in to throw this on the counter. eat it up besties- plug!eren officially coming in hot on the dash today
@philliam-writes i specifically need u to see this man when i share him because i need someone to commiserate in his fictional nature with me
#i'm so excited to throw this out u guys have no idea#feels like my dirty little secret#also historia is so cute in this fic i want her to be my best friend and lesbian body guard forever#cheers to rage's first official series!#rage.rambles#preview#eren#plug!eren
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I think one of the main reasons I don't want to be famous is the lack of privacy. Like people suddenly feel entitled to your life. The explosion of influencers and online public figures has really warped our sense of respect and boundaries. I don't need to know my favourite internet person's daily routine or their what their private instagram full of people they've known since elementary school follow.
Like yeah, the person that sits in their dark house, with no lights and never opens the blinds is a little creepy but, the person standing at their window, yelling at them to open them, is terrifying.
"If you have done nothing to wrong, then there's nothing to hide."
And what authority do you have to look?
#shitpost#shitposting#this isn't me defending people who have done awful actions in the past and therefore reflect their future#it like people asking iron mouse for photos of her walker and her saying no because she uses it publicly#actually just asking or demanding face reveals from people counts too#like everyone thinks everyone wants to be an influencer and have legions of fans swarming them#like when they tried to dox Corpse#or when they find KPOP idols just trying to enjoy a meal#maybe its just because I'm old and listened TOO hard on the DARE program but I think needing access to public figures#especially those that aren't A-list celebrities that can afford on call body guards#is the kind of entitlement we desperately need addressed#let people be people and enjoy life
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#I'm sorry#destined with you spoilers#ep 14#Oh you finally hired body guards#maybe you should have already done that#and CHANGED YOU DOOR CODE#destined with you
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#Life update that no one asked for but I feel like i haven't been present for so long#chronic pain right? i kind of have it#it's jaw related apparently seems like I have lockjaw out whatever and it's uneven and a side of it has to work a lot harder#to close my mouth so my muscles on the right side of my body are just having none of it#a mouth guard had helped reduce the frequency of episodes but it will take a long time for them to go away#if they do#I'm down to one serious full blown episode a month and a lot of smaller negligible instances of pain#a lot of stuff in my chest seizes up in the middle of my sleep cause i clench my jaw really hard apparently#clenching also potentially the cause of my light and poor quality sleep#it's getting better slowly 💪#i Just needed to vent my hopes and fears to the ether i guess#no art unfortunately just d&d in my life right now#i did do maps but I'm jealous of them
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So This Was A Little More Angsty Than I Recalled...
We’re probably both going to be bruised black and blue by the time this is over, Ezra thinks, blocking a hard swing and throwing it right back. The sun was setting when they started, and it’s nearly dark now.
Sabine’s eyes glow too gold for comfort in the dusky night. Just like he has every day for the last month, he bites his tongue and holds back his questions.
Hera and Zeb won’t tell him about whatever happened to Sabine on Malachor, Kanan and Okadiah are as lost as Ezra is, and if Ahsoka knows anything, she’s not telling. When Ezra brought it up to Mom and Dad, they just told him to be there for Sabine.
He’s been trying.
Sabine has not been cooperating.
So after a month of being there with no success, Ezra gave up and decided that it was time for some non-optional friendship bonding time, but even his best efforts at finding a so-bad-it’s-good holofilm like they used to watch together, even after making some really good movie snacks, all for her, she sulked and complained the whole time, being so—so—infuriating that before he knew it, they were yelling in each others’ faces about tropes.
Ezra stopped yelling, stopped the film, took her by the arm, dragged her outside into the Atollon landscape, and said that they were going to beat the crap out of each other.
(For Mandalorians, sparring is training, recreation, and even courtship. He figured… maybe it would work as therapy, too?)
He doesn’t feel bad about throwing the first punch, because she hit back twice as hard. Ezra thinks his lip is split from a hard hit to the front of his helmet, and Sabine’s knuckles are scraped raw and bloody. They circle each other, slower now than when they started. Her hair has blown out of her braid and sticks to her face in the heat.
It’s a little bit pretty, but now definitely isn’t the right time to think about that.
Sabine rolls one shoulder—he thinks it’s where he landed a decent punch.
“Had enough, tin can?” she demands, but the tension has started to drain from her body and she sounds a little closer to playful than he thought she could ever be again.
“Not if you’ve still got that attitude, wizard girl.”
“You’re gonna regret that,” Sabine warns. She settles into a stance, rocking a little, coiled like a spring.
“Probably,” Ezra agrees.
She draws a breath, and Ezra must have blinked or something, because in the space of an instant, she’s flown at him. He can barely see her in the dark and even the night vision in his helmet doesn’t help.
But he has a split second of advantage. In pure chance, she overextends, and he slams into her, sending them both tumbling through the Atollon dust.
She’s up on her feet again right away—or at least she would be, but Ezra snags her wrist, and drags her back down, flipping over so she’s neatly pinned beneath him.
All he needs is a knife to hold to her throat and it would be a near-perfect replica of the scene in the holofilm that started their stupid fight in the first place.
Sabine doesn’t say anything. She just lies on her back in the dust, looking up at him with the eyes that always seemed to see through his mask, but now they don’t look like they’re seeing anything. He hopes she’s processing her emotions and not disassociating.
Ezra is about to move off of her when something catches his eye, and he brushes some of her hair away from her face. It clings—not with sweat, but with blood. There’s a cut on her cheek.
“Did I hurt you?” he breathes, not sure what he’s even saying, and he draws away.
Flying up, her hand seizes his wrist, gripping painfully tight, even as her sharpening gaze fixes right where his eyes would be.
Ezra swallows dryly. The look she gives him is making him feel a thousand things that he doesn’t really want to sort out, now or ever.
“Sabine?” he asks. “What…”
He trails off. Her thumb slides to the little space between his glove and his sleeve, pulling the cloth back. Never looking away from his face, she pulls his arm up and softly kisses the pulse of his wrist.
“You’re dangerous, Ezra,” she smiles, breath on his skin.
Then, like the Spectre she is, Sabine is gone.
#ezra and sabine: this is a perfectly normal way to handle our traumas and requited but unacknowledged feelings for each other!#yeah so Sabine still has trauma but it's DIFFERENT trauma so she's slightly better at admitting she has feelings#ezra on the other hand...#'don't be ridiculous i have no feelings whatsoever for sabine. sure i would die for her. that doesn't mean anything.'#(he's secretly afraid that his adoptive buire are still alive and will be not-mad-just-disappointed that he's crushing on a jedi)#but sabine isn't entirely emotionally healthy either and due to her Specific Trauma she tends to swing back and forth#between shutting down/completely ignoring him and basically saying to his face#that the only reason she hasn't pinned him to the wall ripped his helmet off and kissed him senseless is that she respects his creed#which; as you can imagine; is a little confusing for ezra! but it's okay he doesn't need answers this is fine he hAS NO FEELINGS#and okadiah (the only Emotionally Competent person on the Ghost) is watching them like#'i'm no therapist but if i may offer some advice—'#FUN FACT I FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHO TO SWAP ZEB WITH#so he's a jedi and Fulcrum! and Ahsoka was a royal guard to the queen of Shili!#and chopper died instead of okadiah BUT he's a droid so they installed his memory in the Ghost and now he lives in the ceiling#until they can find him a new droid body#twin blades and beskar au#lifeswap au#sabezra
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Minor sadge
I wish I did stuff this week but I think my ass still recovering from being a witness to something utterly horrifying at the beginning of the week 🥲 just when I think I'm gucci something happen and I am kind of not gucci
So gg Courtship and other aeious maybe this weekend I will get to you because my mind currently no thoughts head empty
#cw trauma#cw body horror#cw injury#I'm bad at religion but I know I prayed to all the gods I do and don't believe in after that#I think some of the old guard even said that was one of the most horrifying things they saw#Me going gesus fucking krist
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