#I'm going to be bipolar soon | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

amarrymeinbostonwriter · 1 year

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Rules: Tag 10 people you want to get to know better

Tagged by @burningvelvet. Thank you for inviting me to the tag game! :)

Relationship Status: Currently single and I'm working on trying to build up my life so I can date.

Favorite Color: To wear is red though I also really like purple. I have more purple accessories but I wear most colors. I have many colorful outfits.

Song Stuck In My Head: Love by Lana Del Rey but there are others that can play on command in my head if I hear the title/the band.

ABBA, Meg & Dia, Emilie Autumn, Flyleaf, Avril Lavigne and Skillet are some artists that I have looping in my head often.

Last Song I Listened To: Cheater, Cheater by Joey and Rory (my spotify was on shuffle)

I like country probably more than people would expect but I am more of a pop/dance queen though. I have made Eurovision playlists in the past.

Three Favorite Foods: Pears, Potatoes (in many forms), and Greek salads or wraps. But I love most food in general. I'm not a super picky eater. I like to cook and make baked goods. I spend a lot of time in the kitchen.

Last Thing(s) I Googled: Pharmacy hours because I had to pick up more medication.

I also looked up an actor's age because my sister and I were trying to figure out how old he was (she was right or close- I thought he was younger- he's on one of my mom's shows). I'm usually the go to googler for my family, especially when they ask about actors or actresses in movies and tv shows we watch.

Links to my college's website, goodreads, storygraph, youtube and list challenges. I'm making more reading lists on list challenges (again).

Sorry it's nothing too interesting lately. My YouTube searches are probably more interesting but only marginally so. I'm not at school or working on any research projects currently so my searches are very basic right now.

Dream Trip: Japan. I'd like to go with close friends and/or family members though since it would be a big deal to go that far. I've been following a japan travel vlog by a woman who lives there. She shows all kinds of cafes and other fun places to go. You can watch/follow her vlog here: https://www.youtube.com/@its_time_to_travel

I'd love to be able to go to some of the places she's featured on her blog. It would be the trip of a lifetime! I'd be sure to try to learn some Japanese first too since I'm visiting their country and that seems polite to do. I know a few random words but can't read or write anything or even hold a conversation.

If I can't go to Japan, I'd love to go back to either Germany or England, but to the parts I didn't visit since there are tons of places in both those countries I've never been too. I really want to go to Haworth (The Bronte Sister's hometown), since I'm a Bronte fan and I've focused some of my grad studies on their works.

This is a tag post so I'm tagging:

@paperbackpropensity, @thatwritererinoriordan, @oh2e, @yeahwellshithappens, @autumnbell32, @writingf3, @windermerepoets13, @melusinah, @girlonedge and whoever else wants to do this! :)

#there's a lot of people I wanted to talk to on here to see if we'd be better friends but I usually don't want to bother people #feel free to answer if we're mutuals too #tags #tag game #recently (within the last six months) realized I'm probably a lesbian not bi so that happened still single AF though #still want to extend support to any and all of my bisexual friends since I believe in solidarity #being brutally honest not sure if I'd make anyone a good girlfriend yet since I have some personal stuff to sort out #BUT I was hoping to start dating before the end of the year- maybe in the summer or fall depending on how much I can do before then #red and purple #music #my music taste may be a little unexpected #pears #potatoes #greek salad #I'm sorry my searches are so boring lately #they're usually more literary and probably more interesting #lots of fact checking of various author's biographies and such #I meant what I said about Japan #but I might not be allowed to go there if my medicine is illegal there #I can't go to some countries because my medications for bipolar are illegal in some countries (though I'm switching medications soon)#the flight to Japan is almost a day from where I live too which is a lot but it would be worth it #so many of her travel videos are cool- there are so many cute cafes and fun little places to go in Japan that I saw on her vlog #if they don't allow my medicine I can't go but I know I'm allowed to travel to England so I'll just go back instead when I have money #I have so much saving up to do fr #I could talk about dream travel destinations forever tbh

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yardsards · 1 year

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#eliot posts #i do not have a tiktok account this is from a cousin lol #but. big fuckin mood.#there's Layers #sometimes the Sleepy prevents my brain from Thinking The Sad #second: my natural circadian rhythm says go to bed soon after sunrise #so i gotta fight biology every night to go to bed at a normal time #and then when i'm super low i try all the generic ''self care'' rules knowing full well they don't fuckin work on me bc i am just Desperate #oh also i'm a zesty lil bipolar bitch and barely sleep when i'm hypomanic

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apricote · 9 months

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all the girlies who are playing bg3 now should stfu /j

#i don't have enough space for it in my computer!!!!#or i do but i'd need to purge and a couple of other games and i don't wanna #it takes SO MUCH space #so i'm going to wait until i can buy an external hard drive for it :(#and i'm going on a vacation to london next week which is going to take all my money <3 #i have around 600 euros saved #my mom has that on her bank account bc this bitch is bipolar and would splurge that in no time #so i can maybe by one soon-ish depending how much money i'll be spending on my trip #but i rly think no one else should be having fun before i'm able to do it myself #💬

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death-rebirth-senshi · 8 months

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I don't remember if I reblogged it but I saw a post that was like "the placebo affect isn't something people manifest within themselves with the power of their brains it's just bad self-reporting" that concept has been driving me crazy it seems so obviously true when you say it and mostly I've been thinking about how fucking difficult it is to keep track of your health and moods and energy etc. and what a bitch it is to have to self report these thing to a doctor.

#I'm glad I was insistent on getting blood work done the other day. I was fully prepared to dismiss this as mental #but it's comforting to know there IS something physical going on with me.#but there's also mental shit there.#(yeah there isn't a clear cut difference. I don't think I'm bipolar but I DO have a fairly severe vitamin D deficiency)#and like. Figuring out why may be a whole process. Idk. I meet with my doctor soon enough.#I walk enough and get enough sunlight. I think.#I shouldn't be this severely deficient.#my skin is much lighter than my dad's. Darker skin can be a factor too. Sunlight absorption #diet has been shit.#sigh.

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nwndrlndn · 10 months

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Come Back

pairing : sam monroe x gn!reader | wc : 2.9k | 18+MINORS DNI

summary : No one's really there for him, except you. So after his night with one of Josh's clients, he looks for comfort in the way only you know how.

warnings : sam and user are in college, prostitution and drugs, internalized homophobia, toxic masculinity and slut shaming, hurt and comfort, smut, unhealthy coping skills, relationship is sort of toxic, sam is bipolar coded, oral ( m receiving ), degredation

a/n : sammy my beloved <3; tw for literally any of what was mentioned in the warnings.

You’re at your dorm room in bed with Sam, sat on his lap as he smokes a cigarette you stole from your step mom this morning. His eyes shut and his taps his foot along to the drums of the song playing on your stereo right now, one hand on the cigarette and the other on your waist, rubbing at you softly. You can hear one of your roommates banging at your door to try and get you to turn the music down but Sam just turns it up to drown her out.

You carefully outline his eyes with your eyeliner pencil and he’s perfectly pliant for you, letting you twist and turn his head without too much of a struggle. “Which band is this again?” You ask as you keep working.

Sam opens one of his eyes, and looks at you before grumbling, “A Perfect Circle.” He shifts his shoulders slightly and blows out his smoke before he talks again. “You almost done yet?”

“Yeah, just let me…” You murmur before you smear his eyeliner for him, when you're done, you lean in to kiss his forehead and his hands slide up to your chest.

“Thanks babe.” Sam whispers, kissing you quickly on the lips before letting his hands slip below the hem of you shirt, deepening the kiss as he pulls you to him. You drop your eyeliner to hold him to you by the back of his head. As your tongues dance, you taste the lingering smoke in his mouth and his hands grab at your belt loops, holding you to his hips. Slowly, he starts to grind up against you, making you moan. He holds back a groan by sucking a hickey on your chest, a smirk lining his face when you gasp in surprise.

After another minute, his phone rings and he checks the caller before he all but shoves you to the side and stands up to answer it. As he starts to speak in a hushed tone over the phone, you look up at him, feeling upset that he was starting something he wasn’t finishing. You listen in closely and you know what he’s doing, his whispers of “only once” and a frustrated groan of “either 300 bucks or the weed?”

So when you hear him start to say goodbye, you loop two fingers through the top of his shorts, smirking up at him. “Sam… finish what you started.” You whine and he rolls his eyes.

“Lay off of me, I got things to do.” He says, pushing you off of him. You were used to his mood swings and moodiness, so you reach out and hold onto the hem of his shirt, trying to keep him close. “Where are you going?”

Sam groans and pulls at your hands. When you let go, so does he, so he turns to stare at you, his face inches from yours. “You can't keep me here, you know.”

“Can’t I try?” You murmur, grazing your lips against his

“You're persistent, aren't you?” He says, shutting his eyes as he runs his hands through your hair, leaning in for a long kiss. As soon as you kiss back, his grip tightens on the back of your head, allowing him to take control of the kiss.

“Don’t go meet up with Josh” You whisper softly, resting your forehead on his. “I know you need something, but maybe we can find something else.”

“You're cute but naive. We can't afford weed or anything else.” He says, his voice flat and his tone serious. “Josh doesn't have money but he does have drugs. And since I'm out of them, I need to get more.” He lean in as he moves his lips to your neck.

“But hes gonna…” You start but he cuts you off.

“He’s gonna pimp me out to some guy. Just gotta be some guy's bitch for 2 hours and I’ll get enough weed for a week. Just once, just this one time.” He murmurs, licking at your neck before he pull away, staring down at you. “I don't have any other choice. If I want to get my fix, then I do it or I don't get anything. It's my only option.”

“Just, be careful.” You murmur softly, kissing him again. “Come back here after, I'll be here waiting for you.”

“I'll be back in a few.” He says, straightening up, putting on his jacket and walking to the door. Then he pulls it open, walks out of your dorm and to Josh’s car. You can see Josh’s smarmy face from your window and he recognizes you, waving at you with a smile. You give him the finger before you wait to see Sam get in and leave.

A few hours later, the sun has disappeared and the night sky is visible. A car passes the dorm, then stops. And Sam gets out and walks up to the door, getting all the way to your room and knocking. “Y/N, are you here?” I wait a few seconds before trying again. “Y/N!”

After a second, you make it to the door and open it up. You’re just in your pajamas and your roommates are in the common room, looking over. “Sam.” You whisper breathlessly, looking him over.

“Hey.” He murmurs as he stands outside the door, visibly exhausted after what he went through. “Thanks for waiting for me.” He looks down, ashamed, knowing you saw him come out of a man's car.

“C'mon” You whisper, taking his hand and leading him over to your room and he follows you, sitting on the bed as you start to look for an extra towel and clothes for him. After a few minutes of silence, but Sam breaks it. “Do you still think less of me for what I did earlier?”

“No.” You whisper, exasperated. You drop what you’re holding and move over to him, cradling his face and kissing his cheek softly. He smiles hesitatingly, placing his hands on your hips as he leans in, pressing his lips against yours. He pulls you tighter into his arms, kissing you deeply and passionately.

Sam’s mind is all over the place. He can feel the bag of weed in his jacket pocket but all he thinks about is the shame and the mans hands as they grabbed at him. When he shuts his eyes, its like he’s back in the car, feeling the old fuck’s thick fingers pawing at him. He had his own partner already, and they tried. They didn’t want him to go. Was some weed worth this?

As he sits, Sam starts to subconsciously tug at his clothes in discomfort. When you notice this, you get all of the supplies you gathered and sit next to him. “You should take a shower.” You say gently, before giving him another one last kiss and stand up to find a towel for him.

He gives a sad grin at you over his shoulder, taking the towel. Then he goes shower and lingers under the hot water, cleaning the stench of the other man off him and leaning against the cool tile to cry. No matter how he felt, he couldn’t cry in front of you. Then he would be proving his asshole stepdad right, he’d be some fucking sissy. He punches at the tiles to distract himself before he takes a breath and focuses on finishing up. When Sam’s done, he towels himself dry and heads back to your room, smiling when he spots you laying on your twin sized mattress listening to music with your eyes shut to bide the time until he gets back.

Be a man. Sam thinks to himself. Be a man. He watches you for a moment before getting dressed and laying down next to you with a sigh. Be a man. Be strong. She wont love you if you’re not tough. He scoots in behind you and softly kisses the back of your neck, laying his head next to yours. “Are you mad at me?” He places a hand on your hip, drawing your body closer to his.

When you realize that he’s back you pull of your headphones and toss them across the bed. “Why would I be mad at you?”

“Um…” He mutters, trying to remember what bullshit you told him about taking a breath and saying what you feel. “I have the feeling you think less of me for what I did today…” He whispers his lips lingering on the nape of your neck.

“I don’t.” You murmur, one of your hands brushing against his hand, causing him to nuzzle in closer to you. “I just don’t wanna push you do do anything you might not want to do. Sometimes… people need time before they feel comfortable being affectionate.”

“I’m not a bitch. If I wanna kiss you and touch you, I’ll fucking do it.” He growls against your neck, shutting his eyes as he leans his head into your neck, enjoying the warmth radiating off of you, his hands slide under the hem of your shirt, cool hands warming up as he rests them on your midriff. You let out a quiet hiss at his hands before you whisper.

“I care about you, Sam.” You whisper, letting him rest against you and staying still as he continues to readjust his body feeling out of place and wrong no matter how he rests against her. As he keeps moving, his frustration starts to bubble. Why wasn’t he able to just get comfortable, they had been dating for over a year, they’ve done this enough times for it to make sense. “Sammy?” You ask quietly.

“Shut your trap! Can’t you see I’m trying to get comfortable?” He shouts before he moves away from you, facing the wall and resting his head in his hands.

After a few moments of stunned silence, Sam sighs, rubbing his eyes. “I needed the money, and that was the only way I could get it. But I feel dirty. I feel ashamed. Like I cant even look at you.” He grumbles, tears in his eyes. “I don't want you to hate me…”

“I don’t hate you.” You whisper, sitting up and crawling to his side, lifting his head to yours and kissing him gently. Instantly, he runs his fingers through your hair, hugging you to him. He closes his eyes, laying his head against your chest.

“I'll be better. I promise I won't do any of this anymore... I just-” He sniffles, wiping his tears. “I just needed money. I didn't want to do it.”

“I know.” You say calmly, rubbing his back. “Do you feel like… emasculated?”

He stays quiet and takes a breath, trying to contain his emotions. “Yeah. I feel emasculated. I feel humiliated, disgusted with myself, dirty. It's just- I just feel so bad about myself.”

You stay silent for a moment, but slowly, he starts to turn to you. “I want to... I want to feel powerful again. I want to not feel like this anymore. I want to be in control.” He murmurs, tugging you to him again, his hands sliding up your pajama shirt as he tugs you on his lap. “Please?” He groans, leaning up to nibble on your collarbone, kissing his way up to the spot right under your ear, kissing you softly.

“Okay.” You murmur, reaching down to rub his shoulders gently. His eyes light up once you agree and he slowly kisses his way down your neck, gently biting you. His hands hold on your waist, pulling you tighter to him before he tugs your shirt off, throwing it across the room.

“Did ‘ya know you taste really fucking sweet?” He whispers before he pulls you into a kiss, his tongue shoving its way into your mouth, hands grabbing at your waist. When he pulls away, you're both panting and he goes in again, biting at your lip and tongue, relishing in the way you jump and squeak. “You taste like mint and- uh… mint and”

“Coconut?” You offer, grinding your hips onto his, gasping as you feel his hardening member hit your thigh.

“Did I ask you?” Sam grunts as he tugs your hair back to kiss at your neck, sucking in hickeys across the base of your neck. “But yeah, coconut. Thanks babe.”

You beam with pride as he smiles, before he pulls you forward again and whispers in your ear. “You wanna make me feel in control? Wanna help me feel better? Get on your fucking knees and open your whore mouth.”

With a light push at your shoulders you get up and sit betweens Sam’s legs at the edge of your bed. You watch wordlessly as he unzips his pants, and stands to let his baggy shorts drop to his ankles. Once they pool on the ground, he sits and guides your head to him and you take a breath as you look at the sheer size of him, your mouth watering. You move on your own, your hands moving to give him a few quick strokes and watching as his eyes narrow at you and his chin juts out.

“What, you scared? Need me to hold your hand? Tell you how its done? We both know you’ve done this before, slut. I bet I’m not even in the first 20, probably not even the first 40.” He hisses at you, before you lean in and lick his tip, your eyes still looking up at him. Slowly, you start to slide him in your mouth and that earns you a groan, one of his hands, covered in a bunch of bracelets rushes to your head, gently rubbing your head as you ease him into your mouth.

You want to smile at him, but you focus on letting your mouth adjust, your nose resting against his trimmed pubes and the end of his cock hitting the back of your throat. No matter how mean he got with his words, his actions showed how he felt. He never rushed you, he wanted to make sure you were okay. And for a moment, you shut your eyes, letting him rub your scalp before you start to pull back, hollowing your cheeks as you find your rhythm.

“Fuck.” Sam groans, his head falling back as he lets out a breath, only for his breathing to pick up. His eyes screw shut as he continues to rub your hair gently. “Perfect. Keep going.” He says breathlessly, and you watch him through half-lidded eyes. You hum and his hand grabs your hair tightly as his hips roll into your mouth on their own, set into motion by feeling of the vibrations on his cock. You keep moving, picking up speed as you listen to Sam’s groans and pants, and when you feel him start to tense up, you pull him out of his mouth. As you start stroking him until he cums on your face in thick ropes, you smile as you listen to his drawn out moans and gasps for air, giggling to yourself as the warm fluid hits your face and bare chest. Sam’s head is thrown back and you can see he’s smiling up at the ceiling, coming down from his high.

Once he’s drained, he lifts your chin and taps two of his fingers against your lips, smirking once you take them in your mouth. “Make sure you get them wet enough. Don’t need my little slut crying about how I didn't stretch them enough.”

#[ 🍒 ] — my works #[ 🎧 ] — sam #sam monroe x reader #sam monroe #sam monroe smut #sam monroe x you #sam monroe x y/n

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cinnamonest · 3 months

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Okay so! I appreciate all of the messages everyone has sent me, thank you for that <3

I just got back and have been looking at my notifications, I also got a lot of questions, some of which were recurring so I figured I can make one post addressing them:

>What happened

I'm fine, my guess is my working circumstances + short daylight hours triggered some kind of prolonged depressive phase. I am type II bipolar (I can't recall if I've ever mentioned that here or not), so I have regular manic and depressive phases, they're just not usually so intense. I'm seeing my psychiatrist in a month so I'm going to ask her for her thoughts on avoiding it reoccuring.

> Have I played fontaine arc

Unfortunately I'm not caught up, due to the aforementioned issues I also neglected hobbies/media consumption and haven't logged in in a while. I intend to get to this soon and then I can answer stuff about it!

> Did I finish HxH/am I going to make HxH content

Yes I did! I had a few eps left when I went into the depressive phase, so I just picked it back up and finished it while I was traveling this weekend.

I really enjoyed it, so I'd love to write content for it (if that's what The People™ want as well? Let me know)

> Have I played HSR

Unfortunately I can't play Star Rail because it's not on PS4 :( I hope to save up for a PS5 so when I can get one, I'll play it.

> What am I working on

There's a few things I'm either actively on or would like to do!

1) proofreading Diluc escape fic I've had sitting around forever (will post today or tomorrow)

2) another Hybrid post I started a while back (almost done)

3) I haven't checked on it in a while, so I was pleasantly surprised to learn Malebolge (the Morax failed escape fic) is by far the most popular thing I've ever written, a lot of people wanted a sequel so I've started the bare bones drafting of a sequel for it.

4) I might go back and finish the scara failed escape fic I mentioned all the way back in late 2022, I eventually got over the heel-turn dislike I developed (read: I have erased everything post 2.1 from my brain), I was already like 10k words into it so it feels like a waste to not do so. But I'm not sure, I'll just have to see how it goes

5) Sifting through old WIPs/drafts to maybe finish some, maybe start making hxh content etc

#I have a lot of 'started and never finished' writing projects #God decided being a bipolar autist wasnt enough to counteract my sins and triple nerfed me by adding ADHD

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msallurea · 9 months

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Things I'm manifesting

-Everything from my notes/Dream life (this just basically everything😭)

-Dream face

-Dream body

-Lighter prettier eyes

-Caramel brown skin (think goldenbih)

-Being 5'1 in a half + weighing 110lbs

-Smaller prettier feet, hands, toes, nails

-3b curls/perfect hair

-Lighter hair with caramel highlights

-Freckles + Beauty marks

-Natural makeup appearance

-Dream wardrobe/Fashion/Aesthetic

-Dream mansion + living in luxury city

-Being famous/celebrity/superstar/popstar

-Desired talents/talented at everything

-Being an it girl + sex symbol + muse + vixen (yall get it 😭)

-Being master manifestor + perfect pretty self concept (even tho technically I already am this its just like why not? Ya know😭)

-Dream parents/family + Being an only child (I'm sick of this sibling shit 😒) + radiate and embody hot older sister energy (just cuz I don't wanna be a older sister no more doesn't mean i dont still want the energy😭)

-Prettier handwriting +top notch writing skills/communication skills/over the top intelligence/stupidly high IQ(basically just the brainsy gyal)

-perfect 50/50 HD eye sight + looking hot asf in any pair of glasses (I wanna not be blind but still be fine)

-Prettier whiter teeth and pinker tongue and gums and just dental/mouth in general + OP top notch hygiene skills (I feel people who have bipolar depression understand this part)

-better mental health + no mental health issues + no anxiety/fearful etc

- balanced hormones + increased estrogen(as a girl I have wayy too much testosterone n I've been insecure about it for years)

-perfect coochani + OP coochanini skills (ummm so this is just self explanatory but honestly if yk yk 😭)

-Naturally smell like my desired scent (which is basically like a bakery n just so deliciously annoyingly sweet and seductive; but remember how I said I have too much testosterone gor my body to handle yea..ifykyk😭)

-No more sweating (I don't sweat excessive I just hate it period)

-top notch crystal clean health + no more constipation + no longer pooping n its healthy (ik somebody gon question me but those who suffer from severe constipation especially for me its been my whole life u understand where I'm coming from)

- desired voice + accent + unique lingo n slang etc

-Desired personality + persona + aura + vibe etc etc

-super flexibility skills

-unbearably photogenic videogenic audiogenic + always looking perfect naturally

-Desired school, friends, lover, etc + school it girl

-Speak/know already desired languages

-drivets license, car, motorcycle, etc etc

-Be intimidatingly wealthy (when I say wealthy I mean WEALTHYYYYY) + come from a family of aristocrats + wealthy generational family in general (yall know what I'm tryna say) + luxury etc etc

-Revised life and childhood

-Dream singing + rapping skills + song writing etc

-Good in all sports like frfr just good at everything (basically the perfect it girl)

-Be a Gazillion times better then Kokomi teruhashi (not tryna be self centered i promise🥲)

-Perfect life + graduation + live teenage fever dream

-Bald, completely hairless body and face (but keeping my brows, lashes and scalp hair)

It's more I just can't think of it rn but this is all I will be manifesting

How will I manifest all this?

So for me I'm not really tryna overcomplicate any more I'm just gonna go straight back to the basics n apply what I know which is choose what I desire, affirm/assume its done and persist. I already overconsumed so much and at this point it's a waste of time. I'm not really tryna do no challenges I'm just gonna focus strictly on trusting and having faith not just in myself but my imagination and subconscious thats its done n taken care of, I'll give yall updates on anything that happens soon! I love you guyssss💗💗💗

Affirmations I'll be using

-I have all of my desires from my notes

-I am living my dream life

-it is done

-I choose to live my new story, my old story no longer exist

#law of assumption #manifestation #manifesting #neville goddard #affirm and persist #affirmations #MsAllurea

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artofchira · 6 months

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As someone else who's in the process of burning out just surviving, and has lost sight of why I enjoyed art in the first place, would you be willing to share some of the things you've tried to get back on your feet? Super glad that you're doing so much better, btw.

First: It's actually become a job for me to help artists reconnect to their art through my mentorship workshop with everything I have learned, and I consider myself very good at it. I've been doing it for about 4 years now. If you or any other artist would like direct help with recovering from burn out please check out the service page of my website and testimonials from previous clients.

To answer your question:

A lot of my own personal stabilization just came as a result of wanting the experience of making art to be comfortable. It wasn't a choice anymore. After my father passed I relaxed for about 3 months -- longest I went without drawing in my life since I started freelancing -- and when I sat back at my desk I just couldn't make myself work under the same pressure. I'd try to force myself to draw and it made me want to cry instead. I quickly learned I could only create if I felt comfortable and drawing felt gentle, so I had to accept moving forward if I wanted to continue being as productive as before I needed to find a way of working that eliminated stress or using will power, which means working in a way that was renovated from the ground up. I couldn't go back. How I was making art was over. I needed it to be repaired. I had no idea what that looked like, so it was truly trial and error.

A fact about me is I have a very high sensory/pain threshold naturally (I also recently learned I was autistic over the pandemic, imagine that has something to do with it) so I've always been historically bad at ignoring my physical limitations because I rarely felt them unless my body broke down on me, and when it did I treated myself with annoyance and forced myself to work through it. I'm talking like no sleeping for 3-4 days straight, or coming home after a kidney stone to finish a comic page still shaky on pain and morphine and then feeling bad at myself for being lazy. To say my old work habits were highly self abusive is an understatement. So when I started addressing everything that was an inconvenience and uncomfortable, it ended up correcting everything I was ignoring or failed to consider a problem until it was past due.

To cut a long story short, a list of material changes to my life that improved my health:

I got medicated, finally. I'm extremely bipolar. Always have been. Drawing between periods of oscillating between feeling divinely invincible vs ideating suicide every waking moment vastly became easier to manage.

I got glasses. I'm farsighted, but it was never a problem for me since I could see fine -- ooor so I thought. Turns out when you're farsighted you're focusing constantly without even realizing it. Turns out getting glasses gave me 80% of my mental space back so I suddenly had more energy, generally more awake, and more focused. No one talks about farsightedness so I had absolutely no idea I was burning myself out physically just being able to see. Worth mentioning!

Started seeing a massage therapist and a chiropractor regularly. I always thought of those things as luxuries, not necessities. Which was extremely stupid. Maintaining my physical body through directly working out kinks in it became something like brushing my teeth or showering -- it's just something you do to make sure health and hygiene isn't making you dysfunctional and rotting you. My body no longer breaks down.

For the same reasons as above, maintained seeing my therapist regularly even if I felt fine or had no issues to work out. I realized I was always quick to end support as soon as I felt I didn't need it anymore (again treating it as a luxury) so making the space in my life for mental/emotional check ins kept my head organized. My therapist is bewildered by me and has no idea what to do with me because she feels she's not doing anything. I just tell her by me making the space for me to explain myself at all, even if all I was doing was describing how I was fine, was the help. She's great.

Got a cappuccino machine. May seem stupid but being able to make gourmet coffees from my kitchen every morning really genuinely improved my life and mind more than getting medicated.

Got a dog. He's amazing. I love him. Very warm and loving companion, and such a gentle soul. He keeps me out of my head and gets me prioritizing walks every day, so my vitamin D intake increased massively. I don't have the luxury of staying in bed for 3 days straight in my depressive episodes anymore. I have to make the effort to leave it at least twice a day to walk and feed him and play with him. Like most people, I'm terrible at prioritizing for myself but will move worlds for those I love no matter where I'm at.

For personal habits I just reflected a lot on why I felt I had to will myself to draw when drawing is something I love doing most. It made no sense to resent doing what you devote yourself to doing. I changed -- and still changing -- my mental framing in how I think of working on art for it to be something I'm eager to do, not obligated to.

Hope this was educational.

#ask box answers #Personal

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goredev · 17 days

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Gore is on hiatus. after 16 years active duty with4 deployments in the army, i'm retiring medically for my bipolar diagnosis, multiple TBIs, clavicle injury, etc. no idea where life will take me next, no idea when i'll be able to work on Gore again, but i'll miss you all.

life is a journey. i'm proud we got to go together in some small way on your journey through skyrim, and im proud of Gore. i'm proud of you, too.

this was so important to me. so many of you made me feel seen as i poured my heart out to you about my journey with war trauma, CSA, found family, learning to love life again. the tears ive shed seeing younger people heartbreakingly relate to him, the joy i felt making friends, lifelong ones, through this mod, it's unrivaled.

to the trans people out there fighting for your lives, know i will continue fighting with you until i fucking die. this mod was for you, it was for eden, who changed my life by simply being a part of it.

i love you all. see you, so soon, but be kind to each other in the meantime.

#gore skyrim #skyrim #skyrim cvfs #skyrim gore #skyrim modded followers

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 8 months

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AITA for lying to my friends due to a psychological disorder?

Ever since I (21F, american) was quite young (I would say around my 9 or 10 years) my mother noticed I had a tendency for lying, sometimes even for no reason at all. Some years after that I started going through therapy and psychiatric sessions and was diagnosed as bipolar and, more specifically, mythomania (compulsive/pathological lying, the diagnostic changed depending on which psychiatrist I went through). My manic episodes usually last longer than the depressive ones and, when those happen, I usually just lock myself from everyone in my bedroom (I rarely leave home even during manic episodes due to my own fear of anything bad that could happen outside)

And I'd say it's during those manic episodes that the bad things start to happen. Ever since my early 17s I started fabricating my own life to online friends since I have extreme difficulty making friends on real life. This ranged from stuff such as me saying that I'm disabled and that's why I don't leave my house (not true, I can do it when necessary but otherwise I am able bodied) and other simple, white lies to stuff like my relationship with my family and living condition.

It was in 2021 I think it started to go downhill. I still don't think I was in the wrong for it since, again, it is a mental disorder but I decided to come ask others too since the one friend I have that knows about it thinks I might be an asshole about this in specific.

Around 2021 I started playing a specific game with gacha mechanics. To this point, the image I had painted to most online friends (with the exception of that one friend) was of a girl on her 20s with a good relationship with her mother but a bad one with both her dad and brother (a lie, as our dad left us when we were children and I have a pretty good relationship with my brother), disabled and in bad living conditions. Because of that, it had been some time (since the beginning of the lockdown) since some of these friends started sending me money whenever I said I needed it for one reason or another (usually to buy food or necessities like hygiene products) and, since I didn't need it at all, I would just end up using it on stuff I enjoy like art supplies or makeup.

The moment I started playing that game though (which none of my friends knew about since they still thought I didn't have my own computer), I started spending all of that money on the game to pull for characters. It wasn't a constant thing but it got specifically bad on 2022, when a character I really enjoy was released.

I still think it's not that bad since none of them gave me a lot of money anyways, but after what I already had was spent on the game and I didn't have any money to buy the currency, I went to the discord servers venting channel and started writing by impulse stuff like how my dad had evicted me and me alone from the house after I stood up to him and now I was living in my cramped old car on the streets with no food, clothes etc. Some of those friends got extremely worried or something like that and ended up sending me more money than usual so I could 'pay for a hotel' until I had time to get government support etc (I don't really know how that works anyways, but I said I'd try and thanked them a lot for it and said that as soon as I was safe I'd draw something for them as payback but I never did because it wasn't really like it was a commission anyways) and I spent it on the game to get the character and I did!

I had to keep the lie about being homeless and then getting government support ever since and last month me and my "real life partner" (not real but i made it up a few months before this so i just used it as a excuse that he was working to get us both a place to stay) were finally in a safe apartment. However, one of those online friends knew about my condition and started to suspect about it all and got angry at me for no reason, saying that I was stealing from my friends and being unfair on even denying that to her. After that she blocked me but I was able to lie to the server that she had threatened me and implied I was lying about it all which wasn't true because that was my real living situation.

I still don't think I am in the wrong, they all did offer it to me on their own after all and I already spent it so there's nothing I can do. Am I the asshole for lying due to a mental health condition?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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amarrymeinbostonwriter · 1 year

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Not me having a mild panic attack at the grocery store when I realize how fucking expensive life is.

Not me also heavily fantasying about hot fictional and/or historical women. The. whole. damn. day.

Not me also stuffing fried chicken in my face.

Definitely not me saving about fifty articles about Radclyffe Hall for later browsing completely unrelated to my grad research (or is it???)

#a box of rice crispies should NOT be 7 dollars #the poor kid helping me at the store was like lady wtf is going on with you #I put back like a third of my groceries...that's not a fun feeling let me tell you #leaves pretty brain shitty never ended #girl help #The functioning on your local bipolar person may vary please #it has not been my semester lol #my professor must be so confused #she thought I was so smart when I turned in my thesis but then realized I'm only good at writing papers sometimes #and even then not always #boy howdy is it not fun when your brain decides to betray you #she was like wow you know who Radclyffe Hall is #yes I am gay professor #I swear I am the most clown town person in that class ugh #I want to be an academic but wow my brain needs to calm down #actually bipolar #unhinged gay grad student confessions #at least I get to see my friend tomorrow #and maybe I can catch up on my owed work tonight if I log off tumblr soon :/#and I have more ideas for memes...you already know where this is probably going to go #and I apologize in advance #my chatter

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locallixie · 11 months

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Hi if your request is open, can I request a top!sub! bang chan x dom!bot!male reader were the bang chan fails his art class yet his art teacher (reader) gave him a chance to pass his exam by inviting bang chan to paint him naked which lead to reader riding his student's cock.

extra credit — bang chan

> summary . art is the one subject he hated the most, and it shows through his falling grades. luckily the teacher was nice enough to let him do extra credit to pass.

> genre . smut, lowkey pwp, art teacher!reader, student!bang chan, sub-top!bang chan, dom-bot!reader, masc!reader.

> warnings . unprotected sex, blowjob, strong language, semi-public sex, cum eating.

(wc) > 2.1k

(taglist) > @jihanlovic

(sunny’s note) ✩ here’s my opinions on art through a bang chan smut, i don’t like modern art.

Art is subjective, and sometimes, it could even be absolutely senseless. There was no strict mold or form that art had, it was made to be a creativity exercise for the people participating. Yet, how did his own artistry failed him this badly? He was fairly good at every other subject, even chemistry! He was excellent at music, where his creative juice flowed the most. But how come it wasn’t the same for this god-forsaken subject?

“Chan, I need to talk to you after class.” You told right after handing him back his final exam’s piece.

He cussed under his breath, poorly scored with being below fifty percent which instantly meant that he failed. There was no way in hell he could explain this to his parents, this one subject really fucked him over. What did he signed up for art in the first place, it wasn't mandatory to have an additional elective?—Music was his original choice. Chan could not let one bad final grade to fuck up his reports completely, a mindset of a perfectionist. Definitely could not make any more mistakes during his senior year, he was nearing his graduation soon in about two or three months of school left.

Minho looked over, noticing the other's distressful state. "Bad score? Show me, what did that geezer give you?"

Chan sighed, silently sliding his final piece to Minho's space of the desk they shared together. "Minho, watch your mouth, what is with you and [Y/N]?"

Expressing disgust as he gazed at the bold red numbers on Chan's final piece, "I don't like [Y/N], he's such a bitch." Minho wasn't entirely sure why he hated you, more like conflicted as you were nice yet overly strict at points, that made him despised the bipolar behaviour of yours and you all together.

You were young, early-twenties it seemed, you have only been teaching for about two years which meant you were fairly new. Your students mainly comprised of juniors and seniors, but you had other freshmen and sophomores when operating after school club. In charge of standard level IB art, you weren't a big deal.

The bell rang loudly, signifying the end of fifth period. Chan stayed behind, waiting for everyone to leave the classroom so he could get this conversation over with. Minho wished him 'goodluck', before he was about to come face-to-face with the devil.

"Bang Chan, I think you're fully aware of why we are having this talk, right?" You leaned on your desk, resting your head on your hand as you focused your gaze upon him.

Without sugar-coating anything, "You're failing my class." You told sternly. "You know this is IB level art, correct? It's also your senior year, you can't turn back now."

Chan let out a dragged breath, "I...I'm not satisfied with this grade."

You simply nodded, a bit of deviousness in your tone of voice. "I figured, are you asking me for a second chance?"

He was crazy for going through with this, an IB diploma? He remembered now, he signed up for art was because of his goal of diversifying his profile for future academic opportunities. If his first and prioritized major didn't work out, he had multiple back-up plans with such a powerful diploma. But now here hopeless with his IB diploma jeopardized, all that hard work down the drain in less than a minute.

"Is there something I could do for extra credits? [Y/N], please." Everyone called you by your first name, despite being in the higher position of a teacher. In repay for letting your students get comfortable and dropping almost all formality, you would break them down even harder than the shape they used to be. If they failed with the same comfortability, you wouldn't come save them, too bad!

But Chan, Chan in particular piqued your interests. You caught on with the looks he gave you during class, he glanced and shyly waved when you two would passed by in the hallway. He had many potentials, you liked his ideas and perspective, however he lacked experiences and techniques.

"You come to my class after school, you'll do a gouache painting for me. How does that sound?" You suggested, even though you knew beforehand that he was going to accept nonetheless.

“When should I drop by?”

“Thursday, and I expect you to arrive on time.” Chan was usually late when class took place during sixth period—which is the last period of the day. Only late to your class, you heard from your colleague who taught global politics during sixth period that Chan has always been on-time except for some rare excused absences. Odd was it? As if he didn’t want to see you, or he dreaded attending your class almost. Students these days, gosh!

This week has been hectic, final projects from multiple different classes, a mock exam coming up soon on next Tuesday, and now he has to worry about fixing his damned grades. One more bad day and he was going to actually lose his mind. Prom was coming up as well, and if all of this wasn't resolve by next week, he might not be able to attend.

Thursday rolled around, after all the classes during the day, he came over to the art room on the south corridor—where your classroom was located. Chan was supposed to be tutoring Jisung on calculus today at the library, but now he has to reschedule with the younger. If he could get this stupid final piece over with, he might be able to make it to the tutoring session.

You were in the midst of setting up when he barged in, "Oh great, we'll get started right away! Just take a seat, I'll go get you a new spatula."

After placing a brand new spatula on the small stool in front of Chan, next to the five tubes of gouache paint, you went to lock the door. There were barely anyone at school at this hour, but just as an extra precaution.

"Well, your assigment is simple really. You'll do a painting with a nude model in roughly two hours time." You explained.

"So when is the model coming in?"

"They're already here, you'll be painting me." You smiled at the bewildered look on his face, his ears slowly getting redder by the second. So, this was really happening? Unbuttoning each and every button on your loosely-fitted shirt. A little bit of skin, then your entire shoulders, and then your bare torso on display before his eyes. Off with your dress pants, the rest being discarded along with it, until the cool air was your only article of clothing worn on yourself.

You sat on a couch in front of his station—one that was moved around often for other figure drawing excercises that you had for your students. Leaning back down at the cushion, you chose a pose that you would be comfortable in for the next few hours. Though the pose itself was quite normal, nothing too crazy. But the gaze you had on him made it all the more suggestive, almost like a sex invitation.

"Your time starts..." You glanced at the hanged clock above the blackboard, "Now."

Chan got into work right away, squeezing out paint from the small tubes onto the palette. Chan was a bit embarrassed to look at you, his teacher who he had been with for a whole year, was now naked from head to toes and sitting there with this look in his eyes. To come completely clean, he did thought about your naked body under the clothes you wore during your lectures from time to time, he was a bit surprised to be able to see the real thing.

Painting in the essential shapes as a quick base before he went in with the details a little later. His hands were shaking, his heart was bouncing around his chest like a mad man, he kept turning to his painting then at you and then again. He couldn't keep his eyes off you to save his life, and his pants felt a bit tight too! All he could think about was your bare self on display. Each inch of your skin, each strands of hair that fell on your face, each pinky shade of your cock.

"What's the matter? You look on edge." Asking with half legitimate concerns.

His Adam's apple moved up and down for a split second as he gulped down his saliva. God, he was having a massive boner, and he could not have you know about it. Using his mixing palette as a shield of sort, hopefully covering the tent that formed on his pants away from your knowledge.

"Is it me?" You smirked, your intentions clear on your inviting lips.

"Well...um..." He couldn't think of anything to say, the entire atmosphere between you two were all sexual tension. He wanted to fuck you, but it wasn't like he could say it out and proud.

You put on your robe, lazily drapping it over your nude body. Each step reaching towards him, he couldn't help but wanting to drop everything and take you then and there. You stood just inches away from him, grazing your fingers over his broad shoulders as if you were feeling expensive fur at the store.

Admiring his unfinished piece, "Wow, you're making quite the improvement." You commented.

The shading and the colours were all carefully made decisions, the brush strokes made things looked smoother and more polished in the earlier state. In a way, an artist's painting was their own perspective on the world surrounding them. With that philosophy, that was how Chan saw you through his own eyes. And damn was it also filled with his inner desires.

"You know," You began, "I like your pieces, they all have such a distinct personal touch." Keeping eye contacts, you held his hand and slowly guiding it down your bare chest under the silk robe. Holding up his chin slightly, you placed your lips on his. Out of the blue, yet, you both were expecting this to happen. As if manifested throughout time, every single time he thought about wanting to get freaky with you contributed to this moment.

Young people were bold, Chan was not an exception. He was quick to shove his tongue in your mouth, pump lips crying out for yours. Almost feeling like you were close to passing out with how aggressive he was, you had to pull away for air.

You brought him over to the couch, pushing him down as you got on your knees before him. Undoing his pants, immediately placing your wet and hot mouth over his throbbing cock. Chan's breath hitched, his rough hand grabbing your hair as he squirmed and twitched in his place.

"Oh my God, [Y/N], keep sucking me like that, you're amazing." Chan breathed heavily, hips slightly jerking up. Tongue flicking over his sensitive tip, sending shivers all over his body. Technically screaming for you with his little whimpers, breathy moans turning you on.

Your mouth felt full as he emptied his load, a few drops even leaked out the corners of your mouth. You swallowed the entirety down your throat like the dirty whore that you were for your student, an action that brazen made his face blushed like an after party.

Before he could unbutton his uniform shirt, you were already disrobed and stradling him. Your lips were back to kissing him, at the same time, you were lining up his cock for the next event. Steadily sitting yourself down on top of him, his hard cock stabbing slowly into you, your fleshy and warm walls wrapping over.

Chan placed his hands on your hips, securing you in place. The next minute, and you were bouncing, grinding on him as if none of this was wrong. His head tilting back, the fucked expression on his face was pleasing to the eyes. "Yeah, baby. Feels good to be inside of me, right? You wish you could just fuck me everyday."

Half-lidded eyes, hair sticking to his forehead, way too lost to reply. "If you're this fucking great, I guess I have to let you pass." You complimented, gripping a handful of his brown locks, slaming your lower body down on him. He came so much that you felt it dripping out onto the couch—that meant you would have to get it clean up, what a difficult story it would be to tell the cleaners.

After cleaning up the brushes and paint, you were officially finished for the day. You placed Chan's piece on the drying racks, you would never be able to look at this painting without being reminded of what went down today. Though, now you knew how vast his skills were.

You held his tie, flattening his shirt with your hand. "I'll see you in class next Monday, don't be late~"

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faiiryteethh · 2 months

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Trigger Warning: Rare Illness/Health Issues [wasn't sure if this need a tw but these topics make some ppl uncomfy so i wanted to be considerate anyway💜]

so a lot of ppl have been asking me why i don't post pics anymore or why i have barely been on social media compared to how i used to be. and the reason is i've been having severe health issues for a very long time. i can't even remember the last time i went more than a month without feeling nauseous, or actually throwing up, or just having headaches and stomach pain that are so bad i can barely tolerate them.

i've known for a while that i have gastritis, but my mom & my bf convinced me to go to a new doctor for a second opinion. after months & months of pure agony and feeling exhausted and sick to the point where i have no energy, i finally know why. i went to a specialist and discovered i have a rare illness called CVS (Cyclic vomiting syndrome). and i also am lactose intolerant which was amplifying my symptoms because i eat dairy products constantly.

i am going to be starting treatment for it and i really hope it improves my life and my ability to function because i am so tired of "living" like this. just existing has been exhausting and painful. i literally haven't been able to accomplish any of the goals i have because i can't go more than a few days without feeling horrible.

i already feel useless because i'm autistic and i have bipolar 1 and i'm waiting on disability payments to come through because i am unable to work with my disabilities. so my bf has been working and doing his best to take care of me and our kids. i just feel so horrible and guilty all the time. and i genuinely didn't know why i feel sick 24/7. all i want is to feel like myself again. and to do all the things i miss doing. i feel like i'm trapped by this illness.

i'm grateful to have answers and know what i'm dealing with finally. but after suffering like this almost every single day for so long its so hard to feel hopeful for the future at this point. i'm literally in tears as i type this. its just been really bad. i never do my makeup anymore or feel good about myself. i can barely move sometimes because the pain in my stomach is so bad or i get pain in my throat from vomiting for hours at a time, and then i get MORE pain from dry heaving due to not being able to hold down any food. and then i get random migraines and headaches that last all day as a result of all of that. its taking a huge toll on my body and my mental health. my depression gets worse during the winter season so when this started getting really bad it just made my mental health a million times worse. its literal hell.

but yeah thats why i haven't been online. real life is hard enough and i haven't been motivated to post because of the hell i'm going through or a lot of the time i physically CAN'T make content. but i'm going to keep trying. i'm going to do every fucking thing my doctors tell me to do because im so fed up with suffering. i promise that i will make content again and post the things i create and other stuff i used to post about before i stopped being able to function. as soon as i start to feel semi normal or at least well enough to do daily activities and complete even small goals, i will post about it. i'll keep u guys updated.

i appreciate every single person who follows me and my content, and all the ppl who keep checking up on me and wondering where the fuck i went. i love you guys so much💜 and i'm so sorry to all the ppl who haven't heard from me. if i can gain at least a little bit of my physical strength and health back, i will be so happy. i also am trying to get vitamins prescribed to me because im severely lacking nutrients but they are so expensive and i can't afford them out of pocket until i get my disability money. i'm also anemic and have to start taking iron supplements again. i'm just a giant ball of health issues😭 its actually ridiculous how bad my health has been. but i'm a mom and for that reason i will never stop trying. i will do whatever it takes to get better. i don't think my health could get much worse than it is currently. hopefully i didn't just jinx myself by saying that😭

sorry for the super long explanation, i just have sooo many messages in my inbox and questions that you guys send me that i haven't answered. i don't want to leave u in the dark. the connections i've made on this silly little blog mean the world to me. and everything i've been going through has been so hard to explain. but since i recently got a REAL answer as to why i'm suffering so much, i felt it was a good time to let you guys know what is going on with me. like i said, when i am able to feel somewhat normal again i will post consistently and re-open my shop too! it sucks so bad having a passion for creating but being too sick to even get out of bed other than to get sick in the bathroom. i've been to the emergency room more times this month than i have in the last 4 years. if i can overcome this awfulness i will not take it for granted. i will work harder than i ever have to create and share it with the world. but for now i just have to sit back and do whatever my doctors tell me to do and hope to god that it helps me 😞

#kh

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anexperimentallife · 6 months

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Help a disabled, neurodivergent, interracial family get back to the US for medical treatment

After three bouts of COVID and other medical issues over the past six years here in the Philippines, my health has deteriorated to the point at which I'm worried I won't get to watch my little girl grow up unless I can get back to where I can use my Medicare and VA benefits for various surgeries and treatments.

Unfortunately, even with all y'all's help, @thesurestthing and I are still in debt from the two-year ordeal of fixing our daughter's stateless status, so we can't do this on our own. My little sister started a fundraiser for us, and there are a couple of other ways to help, as well. If you can't help, please reblog. Thank you! (The PayPal link takes the lowest fees, but whatever works for you is best!)

If you want more details, they're under the cut:

Six years ago, while still grieving the deaths of my adult sons and a painful breakup, I moved from the US to the Philippines with just what I could carry, in large part because it's actually possible to survive here on the pittance US disability pays. I had kind of given up on life and figured I would sort of drift off eventually. I wasn't going to kick my own bucket, mind you; I just wasn't going to try very hard to keep living. And I figured I'd just pass away someplace beautiful.

Soon after I got here, though, @thesurestthing (also American) started messaging me from the states, told me she was going to come to the Philippines and be my girlfriend (even though I told her no at first), and eventually joined me here. We had a baby under lockdown, and got married.

So now I had something to live for. (And most of y'all know the drama with the error on El's birth certificate that left her stateless and took almost two years and a lot of money to get fixed.)

But I have had health scare after health scare over the past few years, including three bouts of COVID (some of you remember the month I spent hooked up to an oxygen machine), two bouts of pneumonia, a persistent two-year foot infection that took surgery to clear up (and is going to require another surgery to keep cleared up), damage to my heart and scarring in my lungs from long covid, a literal hole in my throat that is growing bigger, a spine injury, joint injuries, osteo and rheumatoid arthritis, a traumatic brain injury that affects my memory and concentration, adhd, bipolar disorder, autism, and other issues.

(Not even getting into the dental stuff--Hope to be able to get that done before we go back, here where it's cheaper, because Medicare doesn't cover that.)

I'm terrified that I won't be alive to watch my little girl grow up unless I can get someplace where I can use my Medicare and VA health benefits.

An old friend of mine is a social worker and on the school board in a small Minnesota city with its own VA clinic, and has offered to help us get settled in there, but we still have to find a place to live (suitable for a couple that includes a physically disabled adult, and who have a toddler), some basic household goods, some cheap used transportation, and need to survive for a couple of months while Zoey looks for work.

Given our situation in general and the fact that right now my disability is our only income, we're probably looking at having to pay at least six months (or possibly an entire year) of rent up front in order to get anyplace to lease to us.

We can't stay with friends because every single stateside friend we have with a spare room also has a cat--and I have an anaphylactic allergic reaction to cats, meaning that I will literally die if I'm around a cat for too long. I've had to go to the ER because I slept in a room that had a blanket in the corner that a cat had momentarily lain on. The only way I can be around cats is if I'm on massive doses of immunosuppressive drugs, which, well... The whole issue here is that I keep getting deathly ill, so suppressing my immune system even more is a non-starter. Oh, and Fel D 1, the protein secreted in cat dander, saliva, and waste, can stay even on hard surface for up to two years, and even longer on porous surfaces.

Again, if we weren't still in so much debt from El's birth certificate debacle, we might be able to do this at least mostly on our own. But as things stand, we can't do it on our own. We need your help.

If you read all of this, thank you very much. And again, if you can't give, please reblog.

For more medical details, check my Rob Gets Medical tag. For more details about Eleanor's birth certificate saga, check my Baby El tag.

#rob gets medical

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