I know it’s stupid but.

I’m sitting here crying because someone was so kind to me in this past year that I was able to get some really important dental work done, and a fake tooth flipper thing to help support the whole tooth alignment and look nice or whatever. And now it’s many months later and the follow up dental work I needed in November has been on hold because

1. I had a pet emergency that meant I had to cancel that appointment.

2. I went into massive debt so we could survive the winter and couldn’t afford more debt just to get fillings.

3. Between the weather and the fact that they just decided not to plow my road for half the winter I have not been able to travel safely to town, never mind 2 1/2 hours away.

4. Covid is extremely rampant here, no one is masked anywhere but especially in dental and medical settings, and the last booster didn’t seem to do shit for my immunocompromised ass. I can’t actually go to the dentist without genuinely risking my life.

So now the rest of my teeth are starting to get bad, and the really nice flipper that holds my teeth aligned and makes it so I can smile without feeling ashamed was a complete waste of time and money because other teeth in that area will probably need to be pulled out at this point. And I just… I don’t know how to apologize to the person who helped me. I wasted their money. I didn’t mean to, and I fully intended to complete the rest of the dental work I needed. But everything went wrong. Really wrong. And now I will have to wait until it’s so bad it could kill me to risk my life to have them all pulled out. While building up more debt because I can’t even afford to have them taken out. And I won’t be able to chew anymore at all. And… I just don’t know how to apologize for this.

👀

if we were to look at it through a racial lens, I do find it very interesting that Jupe’s wife is white. that the audience at Star Lasso are majorly white. that he’s basically robbing the Haywoods, a black family, of their horses to feed them to an alien creature for white people’s entertainment. that he was the token asian adoptee in sitcom as a child. the model minority. fitting himself back into a system that used and failed him as a child, so he can find some semblance of respect and power as an adult man, only to still be swallowed up whole.

beast will always mean SO much to me because of everything it tells us about atsushi and akutagawa. all the parallels between them. they were both victims of circumstance—akutagawa ended up on the side of “good” in beast and atsushi didn’t and at their core they were both just teenagers trying to find a way to survive with the hand that was dealt to them

Turtles of Time

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Okay okay OKAY I was rewatching the jackie death dream and the lottie mall scene because these seem to be to most hmmmm this really feels like a ghost realm scenes we have right?? (Cabin guy, like why would Jackie OR shauna imagine cabin guy, shauna being shown as waking from it, indicated dream share, laura lee shoving lottie back into reality etc are you with me?) So of course I’m reeling about the Alice in wonderland ism of Lottie’s scene BUT but Jackie is offered hot chocolate and she TAKES A SIP and when she looks back to the group after that our ghosts appear and she’s cemented in death!! Laura Lee offers lottie food and she’s watching lottie anxiously and she says WAIT when Lottie’s about to eat and lottie doesn’t get a bite and Laura Lee has a sudden change in tone and she stands and she pushes her and lottie DOESN’T EAT!!! Alice and eat me and Persephone and pomegranate seeds and DO YOU SEE WHAT IM SAYING HERE CAUSE I FEEL INSANE ABOUT THIS

just watched the video on reddit where someone turned down the music on the carriage scene and

and if I said that lots of mizu/akemi shippers are actually mizu/fem self-insert and mizu/fem oc shippers then what?

GUYS I JUST GOT BACK HOME FROM NEWSIES REHEARSAL AND IM STUCK IN THE VOICE WHAT DO I DO 😭

Self indulgent doodles (I would show mika, but I cannot figure out how to draw him)

nah i’m gonna say it. whenever we talk about pedophilia the answer most people give is “just kill em” and they seem pretty content to leave it at that. no further thought. and like i get that, it’s good that a child’s assault makes us angry. but it really only deals with people who have already irrevocably fucked someone up, and only the portion of those that get caught. genuinely there needs to be less stigma about seeking help for the issue. people who come forward to get help are given basically the same ostracism as people who have actually offended without remorse. like how the fuck on earth do we expect anyone to get better if to do it they have to deal with the disgust you’re (tbh, we’re) feeling right now? are we just cool with a certain amount of kids getting molested if it means we get to feel better by beating their ass after? yeah they should probably deal with the stigma anyway and get help for the greater good. but they don’t, at least not enough. if your plan is “bad people try harder not to be bad” it’s going nowhere. yeah it feels kind of shitty to give care or support to pedophiles. but can we maybe suck it up if it means less kids get traumatized?

w w w what if i wrote an alenoah wt fic, right? but neither of them win?? like, i’d get one of my silly baby blorbos and make them win instead and everyone goes ‘how the fuck did that happen’ ya know? and i don’t want that blorbo being carried either. that blorbo is the carrier while also being unassuming enough for the audience to hopefully never figure out who it is until we get to the final three??

would people read that orrrr???

What au has been running around your brain the most lately?

GLAD YOU ASKED YOURE GONNA REGRET IT.

I call it The au that I made up but have no creativity to make anything with it: subjecting soundwave to the horrors of the Lost Light; a coswave au

So basically I’m insane right? So what if I put Soundwave (and co) along with cosmos on the lost light (against their will) and force them to endure the tortures of captain rodimus prime and co-captain megatron absolutely fucking shit up in the universe (also ravage is still alive bc fuck you IDW give her back).

Soundwave and Cosmos get stuck on the Lost Light during a stop at the Sanctuary Station and now Rodimus and crew have to figure out how to get them back home (weird-science-dimension-hopping-probably-brainstorms-fault-shit idk just go with it). Soundwave hates this very much bc 1) he didn’t ask to be on this torture bus to hell, 2) now his station is left sorta unattended (hold down fort sky-byte!), and most importantly, 3) that bitch megatron >:((.

It’s not all THAT bad tho bc cosmos is here and he gets to be reunited with Ravage again (he misses ravage. So much). But still. Let me out let me OOUTTT

ANYWAYS. So thus the adventure begins—Cosmos is handling this like a champ bc he’s been on the LL before so he knows the drill. Cosmos and Soundwave get to share a hab, Cosmos actually get to meet Ravage in person (gets called an idiot multiple times), and Soundwave gets to learn how to socialize with other mechs properly (it goes just as well as you’d expect). Cosmos and Tailgate bond very fast bc they’re very similar and minibots gotta stick together ykno? while Soundwave is struggling bc everyone here is weird and loud and so… friendly (it’s actually Cyclonus who manages to break down Soundwave’s very carefully put up barriers first. Antisocial losers stick together 4ever).

Megatron is also struggling bc he feels guilty for how he left things with Soundwave, but Soundwave is very adamant on hating his stupid guts.

Gradually, our favorite fellas learn about Cosmos and Soundwave yearning for eachother but being stupidly oblivious to the other’s feelings, and are now determined to get them together (led by yours truly, the minibot gang).

Shenanigans ensue, Soundwave figures out how to express himself and his feelings, Cosmos learns to dance, Megatron gets engex thrown at his face, and Ravage is so exasperated she might start scruffing these idiots like newsparks since they wanna act immature.

I’m actually super insane about this patchwork au I came up with I think about it near constantly. THANK YOU FOR THE ASK HEHEEHEEE I LOVE RAMBLING ABOUT MY HALF BAKED THOUGHTS EEHEEHEH❤️❤️🛸🛸🛸🛸

Kudos to Taylor for releasing an album where one of the subjects is a terrible person, and she was in such a vulnerable state of being heartbroken and he took advantage of her in a way, and the ghosted her, and she was brave enough to tell us how she felt during that time about a man we all hate.

AND everyone is still shitting on TTPD, calling her out for writing about MH, Joe (and apparently his mental health? I didn’t notice that), Travis, and Kim K, saying she’s wrong for doing so? She’s voicing her feelings, and now you’re voicing yours. And if the case is she’s wrong for voicing her feelings, then you’re wrong for voicing yours. I can tell you something right now, I know for a damn fact that NONE of you would be able to release an album so vulnerable, so raw, so real. I’ve noticed how terrible some “swifties” are. I literally saw a comment from a “fan” that she should go back into hiding. Considering the context of why she did that, anyone who is saying this should be ashamed of yourself, because OBVIOUSLY you have no idea what it feels like to feel unwelcome somewhere you call home, and this goes out to the people who think she’s wrong for still writing about Kim K (which is ironic considering the songs whole message is “you thought that you could kill me, but all you did was make me feel properly again and rebuild myself back to me”).

I just wish you could all just go back and listen to TTPD again, without thinking of the subject matter, and just listen to the music. It literally took me until today to figure some of the subject matter. The album isn’t about what or who inspired it, it’s about Taylor being brave and giving us something she never even had to, but there was a time when everyone wanted the “Joe break up album”, and here you all are again, dissatisfied with what’s been given to you. It’s honestly so sad. I thought swifties supported her and each other, but obviously not, there’s only a few that actually do.

people are so quick to laugh at other people for taking extremely loaded and upsetting representation in media ~too seriously~, but also conflate the words of some of the most powerless marginalized people with censorship by the FUCKING US GOVERNMENT. it’s so disingenuous it’s so silencing it’s so fucking shitty

it also very much feels like the cultural moment we’re in right now, where bringing up issues rooted in deep irl power structures is automatically written off as oversensitive and reactionary. it’s just media, until it’s an example from real life—then it’s just not that serious, or it’s childish to draw those connections, or it’s censorship to bring it up in the first place. allusions to irl violence are chump change but irl violence is always an isolated incident. and no one cares that this attitude magically seems to exclusively benefit the extremely conservative worldview that holds power

like lmfao no i don’t think it’s your right or anyone’s right to cover your eyes to obviously shitty offensive media writing laden with cultural baggage…. so that you can ~just enjoy it~! does this say nothing about you when you jump to silence the critiques of folks who noticed the harmful shit that went over your head? hot take… media is actually made and consumed by human beings who live in a society

A pic of my human whirl design and holomatter avatar whirl hanging out together! Cuz I thought that’d be cute! And I was right… it is!