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whirlwindimagines · 9 months

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Can you do a plant/flower shop au vash x reader where he's in charge of the shop and the reader is a customer and becomes a regular and they finally start dating?

I love this! Like can you imagine Vash owning a little flower shop so cute! I’m also a massive sucker for flower language lol but I apologize if it's not super accurate. Also, it's babygirl’s birthday, and well since we saw how his last birthday went! Here is some fluff <3 So happy birthday to my favorite man! Also, requests are open for anything, please send some in! (warning corny af writing below this is like 2700 words of fluff)

‘I was enchanted to meet you’

Vash x Reader (Modern AU)

It starts with an impulse, you were having a terrible day, honestly, you were on the verge of tears and you just needed a little pick me up. Just to add insult to injury you had been caught out in the rain, you were soaking wet and miserable when you passed the little flower shop, you decided screw it! you deserved some nice flowers… and to get out of this weather.

So, without a second thought, you enter the small shop, a bell overhead going off as you do so. It's a charming little shop really, lots of different types of flowers and everything looks so green and fresh. You only feel a little bad about getting the floor all wet, but like plants need water, right? So, it was okay…surly.

“Hi! Can I help you?” a kind voice calls out, and it makes you jump you were so lost in thought that you weren't even thinking of anyone else being here. Turning around surprised to catch the very blue eyes of a guy who gives you a sheepish look, he's a cute, tall blonde, with large circle glasses sitting on his face and he’s wearing an apron, ah he must work here…duh! “Oh sorry, you caught me a little off guard.” You say with a soft laugh, Gee way to embarrass yourself in front of a cute guy!

He doesn’t seem to notice your embarrassment or at least he kindly doesn’t point it out. He also doesn’t point out the puddle under you, he seems a little taken aback by your presence. He was probably shocked that anyone had been out in this weather, wait… he asked you a question. “Oh um, I was just…” you trail off like an idiot, a little lost in the blue of his eyes

“Wanting some flowers?” he says with an easy smile, God you must look like an idiot. Why else would you be in here? Today was just not your day, and this guy was being so nice to you! That was probably his job, but you were just one minor inconvenience from losing it. Your eyes drift to the name tag on his apron, Vash…

When you don't answer, Vash looks you over and notices well just how sad you look. “Here, wait by the counter, I’ll be right back!” he calls out, not giving you a second to reply as he disappeared down the aisle of bright flowers. With a sigh, you follow his instructions leaning against the counter, you’ve already made such a fool of yourself, maybe you should just leave.

But you don't, maybe you are a little curious, and well it is still raining. Vash returns shortly after he told you to wait, he's holding a group of flowers together, they were pretty yellows, pinks, and whites some you recognized like the very obvious Sunflower. It was still very pretty, but now you are just a little confused you didn’t even get a chance to look at the flowers in the store.

He gives you another sheepish look, as he wraps the flowers into a bouquet and hands it to you. “Sorry… it's just you didn't seem to know what you want so I picked these out for you!” You can see just the hint of pink on his cheeks, the flowers are lovely. “What are they? I mean the flowers what are they called,” you ask, finding the gesture really… nice.

And the way his face lights up when you ask, well it was worth coming in here alright. “Oh! Well, these are Sunflowers, and then these are daisies and Snapdragons with some filler greenery.” As he talks, he points to each flower excitedly telling you a little fact about them, his voice is really nice and he clearly knows his stuff. He looks embarrassed after a while to be rambling on so much, he rubs the back of his head “Sorry… I didn't mean to ramble. I’m Vash I own the shop!”

Giving him a kind smile, you take the bouquet from him, it's lovely and simply just filled with life the opposite of the dreary attitude outside and the mood you were in when you first walked in, you tell him your own name before continuing to speak “I don’t mind, you really know a lot! How much do I owe you for these.” how could you not accept them, when he went through all the trouble, to select them just for you!

“They’re on the house.” He says kindly, and you can only look at him blankly, because why? “I can pay! I want to pay these are so nice and you went through all the trouble of picking them out!” You start to ramble a little flustered by the whole ordeal. Yeah, it was his job to provide flowers, but when was the last time a cute person had gifted your flowers?

Vash just laughs softly; it’s a nice sound and he is clearly not mocking you or anything it’s just a friendly chuckle as he puts his hands up in defense. “Really have them! They made you smile and that’s enough payment for me” Vash goes red at his words and at how cheesy they sound he starts stuttering an apology and backtracking, but now it’s your turn to laugh.

“Alright, thank you.” It really is a sweet gesture and honestly, it did make you smile after the day you had. You’ll have to come back and actually buy some flowers. The two of you continue to chat for a bit as the rain continues outside, he must notice your reluctance to leave back into the rain.

To your surprise again, Vash hands you an umbrella telling you that you’ll just have to bring it back the next time you visit, he says this with such a sweet smile you can’t refuse. Accepting the umbrella with a thank you and a shy smile, you leave flowers in hand promising you’ll be back. During your walk home, you can’t get rid of the smile on your face.

You do come back, giving it a week or so to return the umbrella to Vash and to pick out some flowers. But it’s a little overwhelming, so many choices. “Need some help?” You don’t know how he manages to sneak up on you so easily, “actually yeah, I’m a little clueless when it comes to this… do you think you could pick some out for me? And I’m paying this time!” You add on quickly at the end, as Vash laughs.

“Okay give me a second” and with one last look, he heads off in search of the perfect flowers for you, as you wait excitedly by the counter. You certainly could pick out flowers for yourself, but the bouquet he picked for you last time was so lovely that you just knew he would do a better job than you ever could.

Vash returns with a colorful bouquet in hand, your eyes light up at the display eagerly asking about each flower, he points out the calla lilies, a white camellia, and some yellow tulips. Vash goes over each flower telling you about them, it’s nice you like listening to him ramble. The flowers as always are beautiful.

“You know each flower is supposed to have a special meaning attached to it,” Vash says offhandedly as he puts the bouquet together for you, and that makes you even more interested, but before you can ask what the flowers, he picked for you mean you realize the time and you have to leave. You make sure to pay for the flowers, tell him goodbye, and thank you before you are off.

After this you become a bit of a regular to the small flower shop, at this point the moment Vash sees you he knows to just pick out some flowers for you. And you love it, the special care he takes in selecting each flower, how pretty the bouquet looks, and the shy smile he gives you each time he hands it over.

You also love to listen to talk about flowers, you ask more questions now instead of it just being a one-sided conversation and Vash is more than happy to answer any questions you have. Maybe you're going too often, but you like talking to Vash he’s so cute and nice! And it’s probably just his job to be nice to you. But you are starting to develop a crush, and it's embarrassing! It must be so obvious; you're probably making things awkward. Again, it's his job to be nice to you! You are just looking into things too deeply…unless you're not? You’ve seen Vash help other customers he's friendly of course! That’s just who he is, but it's not the same. Ugh, maybe you are looking into this too deeply.

As you continue to visit the shop, you notice some more slight changes, maybe you are being bolder more obvious, and Vash seems to be flirting with you. It makes your heart race every time. The familiar bell dings overhead again as you enter, Vash is behind the counter helping another customer he looks up and gives you a smile before continuing to help the other person. Returning his smile, you browse the flowers. Reading the little note cards by each flower makes you remember something Vash said about flowers having meanings, maybe you’ll look up some later.

A gentle call of your name makes you turn with a smile, Vash looks a little tired, his hair messier than usual he looks like he even has some dirt on his cheek, but he’s got that big smile on his face that he seems to reserve just for you. “You couldn't come at a better time! I just got a fresh shipment. Let me put something together for you!” you can’t refuse that, “Thanks Vash, I know whatever you pick out will be as wonderful as always.” the praise makes his eyes light up.

Instead of waiting at the counter, you follow Vash watching him pick out each flower with care and telling you the name of each one, but you notice he never tells you what they mean. A couple of pink roses, light red carnations, a bundle of colored peonies, and even some lovely irises. You want to ask what they mean, but for some reason, you don't. Not wanting to break the spell that you too seem to be under. “Peonies are pretty rare, but they are in season and I thought you might like them,” Vash says softly.

Impulsively you reach out toward his face as he turns towards you, cupping his cheek and using your thumb to brush the dirt off his face. His face turns bright red, and you are sure you look just as flustered. Quickly retracting your hand, “Um sorry! The flowers are really nice, let me buy them right!” you manage to say this without stuttering as you turn and make your way towards the counter, God you are an idiot

Waiting at the counter and trying not to die from embarrassment, Vash eventually joins you still looking a little flustered. The two of you stand there quietly as Vash rings up the flowers for you, thanking him softly and hoping not to come off as too awkward you say your goodbyes and head home. The whole walk you can’t help but clutch the flowers to your chest, hoping you didn't ruin everything.

It's late and you should be asleep, but your mind is still racing. With a sigh, you head into the kitchen for a drink when you see the bouquet sitting on the table. It makes you feel warm, and slightly curious Vash had seemed so excited about putting this set together for you… pulling out your phone you begin to search for what each flower means. And each search makes you blush more and more.

Pink roses can mean blossoming romantic feelings

Light red carnations can mean admiration and adoration

Peonies can mean romance and shyness

And lastly, irises can mean courage

You have to sit down for a second, you hope you're not giving this more meaning than it actually has. But Vash is the expert why would he purposely put this together for you if he had not meant…this? Did he return your feelings, looking at the flowers you feel determined and come up with a plan, you are either going to look like an idiot and you can never show Vash your face again… or the better outcome is you’ll get a date with the cutest guy you’ve ever seen!

No longer tired, you spend the rest of the night researching flowers. You just hope you don't mess this up…

You couldn't wait a day longer when you enter the store again, maybe you should have waited a couple of days, but you are scared that if you don't act now, you never will. Vash is busy with another customer; he looks up a little surprised but gives you that easy smile. It seems like he’ll be busy for a while, the customer seems very demanding. Perfect it’ll give you time to gather the flowers you need.

You think you have what you need, holing the flowers carefully in your hands you head to the counter. Vash looks a little surprised, “I know you like to… pick the flowers out for me but I really needed these ones today!” you tell him quickly as his look of surprise turns to amusement, “Sure here let me see them.” You pass them to him, and for a second you see him frown as he looks over each flower. Before his face becomes neutral, and he begins to ring them up for you.

Delphiniums, Gladiolus, some Stock flowers, and lastly some Lavender roses. You doubt it's a pretty selection of flowers, but they express what you want to say to him. Opening your heart, sincerity, affection, and enchantment. “This is quite a selection you picked out…” Vash says quietly, and when he hands them to you. You hand them right back.

“These are actually for you.”

Vash looks at you wide eye as he takes the flowers from your hands, he stares at you and you start to lose your courage here, “I looked up the meaning of the flowers you gave me yesterday and maybe I'm reading too into this… but I spent the whole night researching flowers on how to return those feelings if that’s what you even meant.” You ramble painfully, as Vash continues to just not say anything at all, oh you really done it now!

He laughs and makes you tense up. He looks at the flowers with a bright smile and continues to laugh he sees the look on your face and reaches out taking your hand in his. “I'm not laughing at you, it's just… I've never been gifted flowers before!” You stare at him blankly… and then blush you literally just bought flowers from his shop and gave them to him to confess. Of course, he’s never got gifted flowers before! He owns a flower shop; you are so dumb.

“Don’t worry it's really sweet, I love them! And what they mean…” Vash says kindly squeezing your hand, “Um but yeah, the flowers yesterday were a confession of sorts… I was just too much of a coward to actually tell you.” Vash says with a slight laugh and a blush high on his cheeks. It makes you feel better, that Vash is just as nervous about the whole thing as you, it makes you smile and squeeze his hand back.

“Well, I like you too…and I was hoping, we could go on a date? Start seeing each other more?” You tell him, he smiles letting go of your hand to take one of the lavender roses out of the bouquet and leaning forward to tuck it behind your ear. “That would be really nice, and I was enchanted to meet you too by the way,” Vash says pointing to the lavender rose, he gives you a cheeky smile as you blush. It was so worth it to stop into this little flower shop, you knew you managed to walk out with more than just flowers.

#Why yes you get a taylor swift reference in the story #this like 2700 words of FLUFF and flower language that's probs wrong lol #trigun stampede #vash #vash x reader #vash the stampede x reader #vash imagines #vash x you #vash x y/n #trigun stampde #trigun stampede headcanons #trigun stampede x reader #trigun fic #trigun x reader #trigun stampede x you #vash the stampede x y/n #vash the stampede x you #vash the stampede

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fruitsoxs · 10 months

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Hi, socks! i've read your Vash and Wolfwood as roommate. But, hear me out! They as reader's bodyguard😳 Feel free if it is prince/ss or Idol reader!

Thank you, and i love your fanfic!

Went noble reader because i’m a sucker for knight/guard x noble lol

pairings; vash x (GN)reader, Woflwood x (GN) reader warnings; suggestive themes in wolfwood's but no nsfw, hint at attempted sa/abuse in wolfwoods(nothing graphic), mention of starvation as a punishment in wolfwood's, notes; hope this is okay! if you cant tell vash's is very cute and wolfwoods..is too i promise

Vash

When he gets assigned as your guard you’re pretty sure you’re going to melt

He’s very sweet, and super cute

He seems a little nervous around you at first though. He keeps stuttering and messing up proper etiquette (which is adorable)

You warm up to him pretty fast

He’s nonviolent, but also somehow one of the best fighters anyone has ever seen???

He’s vowed not to kill anyone, but he’ll beat someone’s ass to keep you safe.

The first time he has to beat someone up is during an assassination attempt on your life. Some crazed man runs through your gardens wielding a knife- and You’ve never seen Vash move so fast before. The man is down in seconds, out cold. Vash just smiles at you. You basically fall for him there and then

You like to sneak sweets to him that are meant for you. You get yelled at for it, but the look on his face is worth it

Sometimes the two of you will sneak into the kitchens late at night and ransack the place to make each other little treats

He also likes to take you out for horse rides, and walks. He like show happy you seem when you get away from your home, and get a chance to just run around and be yourself

He hates watching you force yourself into the stuffy standards of being a noble. He knows it makes you unhappy

So he does everything in his power to make you smile

After the two of you get really close, he’ll start sneaking up to your room to hang out at night. Sometimes you’ll sneak out to find him, and the two of you will go stargazing and talk

One of those nights you learn how he lost his arm, and the two of you fall asleep with your head on his chest

The next morning you have to rush home. Luckily your maids are cool and hide that you were ever gone

Falling in love with him is scary, because the two of you could be separated if anyone ever finds out

Somehow the both of you just know you are in love though

You don’t have to say anything. You just start holding hands when nobody is looking…and those late nights together get a bit more intimate

The first time you kiss it’s in the kitchens. He’s trying to make some silly little recipe one of the cooks gave him, and he ends up getting flour all over his face. You start wiping it off and he just kisses you.

That’s when you know that this is the man you will love forever.

Sadly, your family has other plans

Plans that Vash refuses to let happen.

One night after finding out you are to be wed, he climbs up onto your balcony and starts asking you to pack whatever stuff you want

It turns out he has a few friends that are willing to help the two of you run away together

You garb the few things you want, and leave with your arms wrapped around him as the two of you ride off into the darkness

You get a cute little house in a random village

You finally are free

He gives you a ring on top of that little tart recipe that he was trying to make the first time you kissed

Wolfwood

Wolfwood is a menace from the start

Your family decides to hire a personal guard to watch over you after there’s a few death threats sent their way

The decide to hire the most expensive, and experienced merc they can find

They have no idea that this merc HATES rich people

The moment you meet Wolfwood calls you things like “brat” or “prince/ss” in the most demeaning ways

He’s rude, and you’re pretty sure you hate him

But also he’s so hot-

I imagine he’s all rough, with callused hands and scars all over his hands and arms.

He also flirts with you because he’s shameless

The first time he saves you is also the first time you see the kind side he likes to hide away

You’re out on the town, doing a bit of shopping in the market when the two of you get separated somehow.

While looking for him, you get cornered by two guys who do not have the best intentions with you

Right as they grab you to hall you off, Wolfwood appears.

He doesn’t even need a weapon. He takes both of the men out with his fists without breaking a sweat

After the men are knocked out, Wolfwood pulls you away and starts asking if you’re alright. When he sees the bruise on your wrist from how hard the man grabbed you he tries to run back to the men muttering “i’ll kill em”

You stop him and tell him it’s okay, you just want to go home. He takes you home right away

That night you clean and dress the wounds on his knuckles and he falls in love with you

After that he still calls you names, but you can sense something other than hate behind his words. They become terms of endearment instead

He still hates all your friends, and family

Your first kiss is heated. You’re practicing piano, and he’s sitting next to you

You teach him how to play a few notes of a song, directing his fingers

After he plays it successfully you kiss his cheek and he responds by slamming his lips against yours, forcing his tongue into your mouth

That piano is then used for…other things…

After that you two constantly sneak in kisses and ahem quickies whenever you can

He also notices that your family doesn’t really treat you well pretty fast

He sees the way they take away your meals when you’ve done something they think is bad

He gets progressively more angry until he finally snaps and just takes you away from that life

You leave in the middle of the day, and Wolfwood threatens to kill anyone that tries to come after you

You move into a cute little cottage where you can finally live your dream

Away from that horrible life, and happy with Wolfwood

#wolfwood x reader #vash x reader #nicholas d wolfwood x reader #vash the stampede x reader #wolfwood headcanons #vash headcanons

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chris-continues · 1 year

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It’s suffocating,

A Vash/reader (or my self insert but name isn’t mentioned) that deviates from my canon. Unrequited love.

It’s when I can barely handle his smile that I know it’s a lot.

It always has been, I mean, he’s far too kind and wonderful and sweet-

He’s too perfect.

And now he’s casted away and I’m grateful to be acquainted with him- his unwarranted unwanted reputation doesn’t suit him.

It’s when I feel my head and heart sink. That’s when I know it’s wrong. He smiles at Meryl, she teases and laughs all the while and I feel sick.

How could I get my hopes up? He doesn’t owe me anything, what did I expect?

“..It’s them, isn’t it?”

“Who?”

“Them.” Wolfwood gestures out the van window to them sitting at the campfire. There’s no need to explain it.

“Yeah.” My voice pathetically squeaks and he looks at me with.. pity? Empathy? Something. “I get that.”

I feel suffocated, seeing them together.

Quite literally, that’s when the first petal comes up. I walk with Wolfwood, Vash and Meryl teasing each other a few feet ahead.

It’s a few bloody petals.

A week later and it’s small buds, I cough behind the van while Wolfwood offers me water.

5 days after that and it’s whole, beautiful flowers. I can feel them leaving my throat and making me strangely pretty. I have to bury them in the sand once everyone goes to bed.

Only Wolfwood knows, along with Roberto, who had walked in once when he heard me coughing. I feel like shit.

I gag and cough and cry, throat tight and dry and I’m nauseous and lightheaded. I’ve barely eaten in the past few weeks.

“Jesus..” he pinches the bridge of his nose, “you’ve gotta eat.”

… “eat.” He insists, shoving a small portion of rations in my chest. “Thank me later.”

“I’ll just thank you now. I appreciate your help.”

A week ago I’d discovered what it was once I’d asked around a tavern curiously. Well, not really asked around. A barmaid was kind enough to inform me and listen once they’d caught my weary eyes on Vash. Who was laughing with Meryl.

“He’s a cutie, huh?”

“Yeah. He really is.” She turns, offering me a free drink. “It’s on the house, no need.” I nod, “Thank y-“ before I can begin, I hack and cough. Her towel helps to catch the blooms and now prickly vines that I feel poke my throat painfully.

“Hanahaki, huh?”

“Hm?”

“You cough up flowers thanks to unrequited love. It’s unknown why it happens.. but I’d recommend you enjoy your last few days.”

“What?”

“It’s fatal,” they explain. “I’m sorry.”

“..thanks for the free drink.”

I head up to my room early that night, and Roberto is kind enough to check on me. I cry, really cry as much as my tired throat lets me sob. Crying is even a privilege.

“And you’re still not mad at him?”

Even though it’s fatal?

“How could I be?”

Ever since we met it was always about making him happy. I left Jenora Rock to travel with him. I listened to him.

I was..

Just a really good friend. He needed that from me, nothing more.

“He doesn’t owe me anything. I can’t be mad at him for liking Meryl.”

Meryl was smart, and educated and older.

I was just.. me.

Roberto and Wolfwood make us stay in the tavern a few extra days. I’m laying on the bed again, I’ve barely left my room the past few days. One of the guys is kind enough to offer me food, but one day Vash greets me at my door.

“Wolfwood told me that you were sick. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s not your fault, uh..” I silently take the food from him. “Thank you.”

“Of course!” And he smiles. That beautiful, heartwarming grin. “If you need any help let me know, I’m just a room or two over.”

“I will.” That’s a lie.

I think it’s a slap in the face that very night that I get another coughing fit. I wish I could call him for help to rub my back, gently move the hair out of my face and hug me. But I know that wouldn’t help me at all.

Just saying hi to him pains me.

And so do the petals that grow, the vines that encase me beautifully, tearing my heart open and leaving me gorgeous.

I hope she looks at him the same way I did.

#hanahaki #unrequited love #vash our beloved #vash the stampede #vash x reader #vash x you #angst no happy ending #angst no comfort #drabble #Chris writes #trigun #tristamp #trigun stampede

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softsoaps · 11 months

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Symphony for a Spider Plant

Hi there! I don’t usually post fanfic, but I’m really happy with how this one is turning out, so if you’re 18+(there will be nsfw later, even if it’s not written yet) I’d love it if you’d check out my new vashwood modern AU fic,

Symphony For A Spider Plant

I’m going to be exploring many different things in this fic (vash and knives attempting to fix their bond as brothers or vash’s canonly shitty mental health for example) but the summary is:

‘“So…” Wolfwood starts, looking down at the drink in front of him, mostly because making eye contact with this guy feels kind of like making eye contact with a swan. Wolfwood half expects him to start hissing like one, despite the fact that he invited Wolfwood and had bought the drinks sitting between them, which are largely untouched. How considerate. “Let me get this straight.”

“Your brother needs a roommate.” He starts, and the man nods. The man’s name is Knives, which Wolfwood had initially assumed to be an online nickname and nothing more, but apparently not. Wolfwood points his napkin at him in place of his finger, raising an eyebrow. “And you want a spy?”

Or: A modern AU where Wolfwood and Vash are roommates, Knives is trying(and kind of failing) to be a good brother, and Vash isn't having a very good time mentally. Things turn out pretty okay for everyone.’

remember to check the tags, as I do plan on getting pretty heavy with this, and thank you for your interest if you end up reading!

#mine #fanfic #trigun #trigun maximum #trigun stampede #trimax #tristamp #vashwood #wolfwood #nicholas d wolfwood #vash the stampede #vash #vash trigun #wolfwood trigun

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king0fcrows · 1 year

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I am NOT happy with the changes they made in Trigun Stampede.

I was worried I wouldn’t like the art—but then it turns out the art was fine (actually quite pretty!) and it’s writing I’m so disappointed with!

They’ve super changed Meryl’s character to be way flightier and clueless—not the serious, uptight but self possessed character I liked for the original story—and where the fuck is Milly?!!!! Where is my beloved big girl?! If they seriously are replacing her with this Roberto guy, I can’t fucking even deal.

(And I actually like the kind of character type Roberto is implied to be—I want to like him even after the little I’ve seen—but I don’t want them axe a beloved character to bring him in!)

Also—It seems they merged Jenora Rock with the city of Inepril—the town where they need a new plant and the town is encouraged to turn Vash over for the bounty?

However, instead of having the town turn on Vash (important because the fact they betray him and he still helps them is the entire fucking *point* of Trigun), the military police *forces* them to turn him over at gun point—and then he and the captain fight a weird pointless duel that endangers the town for no reason?

It’s not because Vash escapes and people chase for him for the bounty which escalates into shenanigans—which is results in the people chasing Vash to blame him for the damage *they* cause, AGAIN a core theme of the original show and manga—but just because the kooky captain thinks that’s a good idea even though Vash is already in his custody?

And again—this is not a sadistic gang leader who is set up to revel in destruction. Nor is it set up as a “I’ve been hunting you for years and now I just want you dead” kind of vibe. NOR is it because the captain is secretly won over by Vash and wants to find a way to let him win while saving face (like with the Bad Lad Gang in the original) but just because ???????

They don’t seem to understand the hijinks aspect of the original show weren’t just there for laughs but were always to tie it back around into a serious theme later—to have heft during an emotional bait and switch, to slide from comedy to tragedy, and highlight the fragility of humanity/how fast tables can turn.

And they make this shallow show of Vash kind of trying to save the townspeople—but there’s no real sense of urgency or connection to his character?

Meryl meets him and then…he barely speaks to anyone, except in a background scene and some passing comments about the plant? There’s no soft poignant moment where you see Meryl observing Vash in his interactions with the towns people to realize “oh he really cares about them!”—which was ALWAYS present and felt in the original series. Likely because they didn’t even give Meryl and this Roberto guy time to get a feel for who is Vash before the introduced all these other elements that didn’t feel cohesive?

Also, during the battle, they shallowly kind of have him cry—but there doesn’t seem to be any sincerity to it? It almost is like the silly play crying he does when playing a fool over food or donuts or flirting in the original series—but instead it’s being done in a serious moment and just totally ruins the scene? There’s no camera focus on Vash’s inner realization that “oh god, this idiot just set off bombs and endangered people and once again it’s my fault!” and him tearing up. It’s just him awkwardly crying and flapping around like a headless chicken.

Like seriously, what the hell did I just watch?! Where was the fear and sincerity and emotional weight?!

Where’s the willingness to have a still moment to build tension and let the characters build emotional depth? That was ALWAYS something that made original show handled so brilliantly and made me LOVE it.

(Also, where the FUCK are my weird alien half beauty half body horror plant women? I know they didn’t show them much in the shot—but if they really changed them to just be these vaguely humanoid beings made of light, and not fleshy multi-limbed creature with feathered wings growing smaller bodies from their back, I’m gonna riot.)

#trigun stampede

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medea10 · 3 years

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My Review of Trigun

How did I get into this anime? Let’s just say this was one of those animes that used to air on Saturday nights back in the day that I would every now and then come across while waiting for either Full Metal Alchemist, InuYasha, or Cowboy Bebop to air. But I never did watch a full episode or know a damn thing about this anime. So I’m just jumping into this anime blindfolded. All I know is that this was Johnny Yong Bosch’s first anime role.

Who is Vash the Stampede?

A frequent question that comes up throughout the series! Rumor has it that he wears a long, red trench coat and sports a Mohawk hairstyle. Some say he’s a notorious lecher. Many recount him shooting up their villages to a pile of rubble just for the heck of it. He has quite the reputation as he has a $$60,000,000,000 bounty on his head and is often known as the “Humanoid Typhoon”.

In reality, Vash the Stampede is…a bit of a dingus. He just happens to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and things kinda get out of hand. But that doesn’t stop two insurance agents (Milly Thompson and Meryl Stryfe) from following him around to confirm Vash’s identity and keep his actions to a minimum. At first, it’s hard to tell if he’s a stupid-genius or just flighty and gets lucky one too many times. But when shit goes down, don’t be surprised when you see this doofus get serious.

BETWEEN THE SUB AND THE DUB: Okay, what sad company did this use to belong to, Geneon, Bandai, or ADV Films? Oh, Geneon! That means good voice actors from L.A. put in really shitty roles. On the contrary, this was a fairly decent English dub. And on a severely positive note, this was indeed Johnny Yong Bosch’s very first anime role (and a main role at that). This was like fresh off his time as a Power Ranger! And I gotta give props for giving this guy a chance at voice acting. This role was the launching point to what has been a very successful career for Bosch. As for the sub, let’s just say I’m happy any time I get to hear Hiromi Tsuru in something besides Dragon Ball. Here’s what you might recognize these folks from.

JAPANESE CAST: *Vash is played by Masaya Onosaka (known for Bill on Pokemon, Isaac on Baccano, Jadeite on Sailor Moon, Kero on Cardcaptor Sakura, Leeron on Gurren Lagann, France on Hetalia, and Spandam on One Piece)

*Meryl is played by Hiromi Tsuru (known for Bulma on DBZ, Ukyo on Ranma ½, Yubel on YGO GX, and Mika on Gravitation) [R.I.P.]

*Milly is played by Satsuki Yukino (known for Kagome on InuYasha, Mion/Shion on Higurashi, Tae on Gintama, Amakata on Free!, Hiiragi on Natsume Yuujinchou, Mutsumi on Love Hina, and Yoruichi on Bleach)

ENGLISH CAST: *Vash is played by Johnny Yong Bosch (known for Ichigo on Bleach, Lelouch on Code Geass, Makoto on Free!, Izaya on Durarara, Artemis on Sailor Moon redub, Koizumi on Haruhi Suzumiya, and Yukio on Blue Exorcist)

*Meryl is played by Dorothy Elias-Fahn (known for Kaoru on Rurouni Kenshin, Naru on Love Hina, Tomoe on Rozen Maiden, Hakuei on Magi, Houki on Fushigi Yugi, and Amane on Tenchi Muyo GXP)

*Milly is played by Lia Sargent (known for Dorothy on The Big O and Judy on Cowboy Bebop)

FAVORITE CHARACTER: Milly! I don’t need a reason, it’s Milly!

SHIPPING: I didn’t really start thinking about shipping until more than halfway into this series. I thought there might be something between Vash and Meryl, but then again maybe not! Then I saw the backstory of Vash’s “younger days” and falling for the one woman who showed him compassion.

Yes, this is the same woman we consistently see in Vash’s flashbacks, Rem. Ooh boy, it’s one of those stories! So yeah, never mind my thinking with Vash x Meryl ever happening. I feel like Vash will mourn Rem’s death for a long time that I don’t think the whole thing with Meryl will ever work.

And as for Wolfwood x Milly…

FUUUUUUUCK! WHY DID YOU RUIN THIS CUTE COUPLE?!

MILLY WAS HEART-BROKEN!

…At least she got to have one night of passion with Wolfy-boy before the unthinkable happened.

THAT DARN CAT: If you watched this series, you might have noticed a little black cat spotted in nearly every episode. It’s there in the opening theme. It’s there in random places throughout the series. It’s there in the ending theme. What’s up with this cat? Well, there are a lot of theories surrounding this particular cat (or Kuroneko). Some say it’s really Rem inside that cat since you see it in literally every episode around Vash. Others say it’s because the creator of Trigun wanted to just mess with your minds with the kitty walking around in random places and towns. Seriously, it will always appear in every new town Vash and the gang comes across! As an avid cat enthusiast, I’m fine with whatever the result. Just as long as no harm comes to the little Kuroneko.

HALFWAY POINT: Halfway into the series we notice something more when it comes to Mr. Vash the Stampede. First of all, those horrifying scars all over his body! Second, that mysterious girl he often thinks about. I mean, we see flashes of her in the opening sequence. And third, the reason why he never kills. Vash has the ability of causing so much damage when pushed to a breaking point. One of the many reasons why he’s known as the “humanoid typhoon”! And that was perfectly shown when Vash chases the residents out of a town (so there would be no casualties), totally demolished the town during a fight, and made an indent on the moon!

But the story takes a sharp-left turn into WTF territory when we learn about WHAT exactly Vash is. Vash is a plant. Vash also has a brother named Knives. And while Vash has a mentality that all beings have a right to live, Knives has a “kill them all and let God sort them out” point of view. Now the existence of Vash and Knives came with a lot of controversy, especially in the ship that they were on. But that girl who Vash cares for, Rem cared for them regardless of what they were. Rem had high hopes for a peaceful world with coexistence. Too bad Knives had other motives and killed her.

ENDING TO TV SERIES: Vash has tried so hard to keep Milly, Meryl, and Wolfwood out of harm’s way. He knows there are some pretty bad people after him, including his polar-opposite brother, Knives. Vash hates death and wants to save as many people as humanly possible. He doesn’t want to see any more needless death. Probably from his flashbacks and losing Rem! Unfortunately, this doesn’t go so well.

I can see how iconic this death was now after witnessing it. Wolfwood, the priest who would hook up with Vash every now and then when they’re up against some ruffians, now finds himself in a crucial decision. He gets orders that he must eliminate Vash. And Wolfwood ends up dying instead in a very dramatic death scene. God-damn! And just that scene where Milly is sobbing freakin’ eats you up inside.

At least she had one night of passion before the unfortunate happened!

Vash hates the thought of having to kill anyone. But he might not have a choice if Knives is coming after him and even hires a powerful foe from a previous episode and the guy that killed Wolfwood to take you out. Once Vash met up with Knives, he winds up having some pretty sick flashbacks of Knives. But our homeboy was able to take out Knives, the desert area gets water, and…

I’m gonna have to read the fucking manga for more, right?

Tap dancing fuck!

BADLANDS RUMBLE: 12 years after the series ended, Japan decides to release a side-story in the form of a movie, bringing back our favorite characters like Vash, Wolfwood, Milly, and Meryl. And yes, reuniting the cast…in Japan.

By 2010, Geneon was as good as dead and FUNimation licensed Trigun. In short, they managed to get Johnny Young Bosch to reprise his role as Vash the Stampede. But everyone else was replaced. And surprisingly, the people they got to do Wolfwood and Milly were pretty freakin’ close to their original voices. Meryl’s voice, come on I know Luci Christian any-damn-where! Vash helps a young lady take out a big-bad guy (who turns out to be his father). And it has the feel of the original series where it’s set in a western town with lots of booze and shoot-em-ups! It’s an interesting side-story to the Trigun trilogy.

Trigun was a pretty good anime. I mean, not one of my favorites, but I can definitely see a lot of people sticking by this classic. Maybe you can chalk up my blah attitude to the fact that I’m not fond of westerns and I kinda took it out on Trigun. Or the fact that there was so much more that the anime could have covered before the end and the ending kinda felt off to me! Like I thought I was expecting more. But I suppose that’s what mangas are for. To be honest, the stories that really grabbed my attention were the back-stories with Vash and Knives and Wolfwood’s final episode.

*sniffles* At least Milly got one night of passion before he died!

If you would like to check out Trigun, all the episodes are available through FUNimation and Hulu (in both Japanese and English). And if you really like the anime, why not purchase the hard copies? Both the series and movie are available for home video.

Okay, that took me a while, but I’m glad to finish Trigun. What’s next on the FUNimation list?

EEHHHHHEEEHHHE

Fuck is that supposed to mean? What is that? Is that even in English?

YOU WILL BE HORRIBLY MUTILATED: The Isekai

Do you mean Re:Zero? That’s great…but that review’s not ready yet. And it probably won’t be until after April 2021! So let’s cast caution to the wind and pick another FUNimation licensed anime.

You’re watching Sarazanmai next. It’s best if you don’t ask questions.

Sarazanmai? The fuck does that even mean?!

OH. MY. GOD.

#trigun #vash the stampede #meryl stryfe #milly thompson #nicholas d wolfwood #knives millions #anime review

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calliecat93 · 3 years

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ST: TNG S6 Watchthrough Episodes 6-9

True Q: After a complete absence last season, Q is back! So why’s he there this time? A young woman named Amanda is on the ship... and it turns out that she has the same powers that the Q Continuum has. Q is there (no meniton of where Vash is though…) to take her to the Continuum, but Amanda doesn’t want to go. She’s happy with her life and she doesn’t want it or her future plans to be taken away from her. It feels like they decided to do a remake of Hide and Q, the one where Q gave Riker Q-like powers. While it is one of S1’s better episodes, I don’t particularly care for that one for a few reasons. This one I felt was an improvement. Amanda’s a really nice girl, I mean her intro has her summon up puppies! She’s struggling with her powers especially when Q makes her realize the extent of it and how she can do literally anything. Under Q’s guidance, she begins to actually enjoy it… but Q is really trying to push her away from being human. She comes close to crossing the line when she tries to make Riker fall in love with her, even using mind-control… but realizes how bad it feels and decides that she doesn’t like being an all-powerful being who forces herself on others. I love how aghast Q is that a Q can have human feelings and want to use their powers to do actual good for others. Honestly I’m confused on why they don’t bring up Amanda using her power to just make herself. We know that the Q’s can do so form Deja Q, so how come that possibility enver comes up. I think I’d have liked that better than Amanda finally agreeing to go at the end. Though to be fair she does so after realizing the greater good that she can do with her power after saving a dying planet and has clearly not at all lost her humanity/compassion. She’s gonna give the Continumm one Hell of a time, huh? But yeah, it was good. It’s not Q’s best appearance, certainly one of his more serious protrayals and kind of reminds me why I hate him. But also why I love him cause he’s just so freakin’ fun, John de Lancie is utterly fantastic in the role, and his amorality really adds so much more depth to the show. When he shows up, you know that you’re gonna get something interesting. After not having him at all last season, this was very much welcomed~ 4/5.

Rascals: We have a de-aged episode folks! Picard, Ro, Guinan, and Keiko have all been turned into young children. They’re not happy about it. Picard cause it undermines his captaincy, Ro because her childhood was traumatic to put it lightly, Keiko because it major complicates things with her husband and child, and Guinan… no actually, Guinan just has fun with it XD Now de-aging episodes can either be really fun or really annoying depending on how it’s done. My favorite one is the one in Justice League Unlimited, which did a good balance between having fun with the concept and still telling a good coherent story with a major heartbreaking line at the end that shows that being a kid again wasn’t fun for everyone. How did TNG do? Honestly IDK why they included Keiko in this. Don’t get me wrong I like Keiko… but it feels like they only included her to do some really cringy humor on how a grown woman got de-aged and is now married to an adult man. Thankfully O'Brien is a good man who’s as uncomfortable with it as I am and doesn’t do anything that he shouldn’t, but still, the show was it really necessary? Aside from that, it was fine. I feel like they’re trying to tell a serious story as per usual… and I think that was the wrong approach. That JLU episode I mentioned did play parts of it seriously, but it also recognized how absurd the whole premise was and rolled with it. There are entertaining bits, like a kid!Picard acting like… well Picard is pretty dang funny, but I just don’t feel like they struck a good balance between the seriousness and just having fun with it. It outright makes the adults all getting overtaken by the Ferengi outright embarrassing, not funny or scary. Like I said though it does have fun moments. I like how Guinan just wanted to have fun while a kid again and manage to get Ro to finally give in and have some form of a happy childhood that she didn’t get to have before. A bunch of children, including the non-de-aged ones like Alexander, outwitting a bunch of Ferengi was also hilarious, especially Picard faking being Riker’s son. Riker’s face when Picard hugged him was amazing. The kid actors were also really good, especially Guinan’s actress. But otherwise, it just kinda feels like they couldn’t decide on a tone and as such while it has its entertaining bits, it feels confused on what kind of episode it wants to be. It’s harmless and another one of those episodes that I’d say adult fans can watch with their kids, but it’s certainly not one of their best efforts. 2/5.

A Fistful of Datas: We got us a Western episode! Hooray~! The crew has some time off and Worf gets forced to agrees to undergo a Wild West Holodeck program with Alexander with Troi also joining in. Too bad that they chose that day to link Data to the ship’s computers and a power surge causes a malfunction n both Data and the computers! Oops. So yeah, the ship/Data is having issues while our trio is trapped in the Holodeck with Data’s image replacing the characters. You know how I just complained that the last episode couldn’t decide between seriousness or comedic and thus they clashed? Not an issue this time! This one was just complete and utter fun~! Even when it gets serious this was just great! The Western heme, Troi being a Western fangirl, them making Brent Spiner play a billion roles again, it is just a blast! Heck just having Worf in this role where he’s clearly dreading everything, then has fun with it (at least until Alexander gets kidnapped/the Data thing) I'm just so nice haha! I can’t think of much else to say but another fun Holodeck episode! Now if only they could stop malfunctioning every time they use it… 4/5.

The Quality of Life: So we have a scientist and these cute little robots called Exocoms. They are made to make repairs but one unexpectedly shuts down just before the terminal explodes. Upon investigating, Data begins to believe and later decides that the Exocoms have gained sentience, and are therefore living beings. This is the closest thing that we’ve gotten since The Measure of a Man, and I really like it! I loved Data here... I mean I always love Data but he was so freakin’ good here. He chooses to advocate for the Exocoms, even when it reaches a point where Picard and Geordi’s lives are in danger, and sacrificing the Exocoms is the only available option. While he knows that he’s accepting of letting them die and very much doesn’t want to, how can he sacrifice one species of life for another? Lifeforms who are very much like him, machines made by humans but unlike him who has people like Picard to advocate for his rights, they had no one. The episode doesn’t ignore the moral questions here and really raises some good questions about life, what counts as being alive, and where we draw the line when deciding between lives. I also loved Data and Crusher’s interactions in this one and him going to her when questioning how to define life. While Indo believes that Pulaski wasn’t as bad as others, her interactions with Data were just bad but Crusher comes off as so much more compassionate and understanding towards him. It just really shows why Crusher is the CMO that this show needed, sorry Pulaski. The Exocoms are really cute and while I won’t give away the ending, they truly are heroes. This was the kind of Data episode that the show needed, and they delivered pretty dang well I’d say~! 4.5/5.

#st watchthrough

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renegade-skywalker · 4 years

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Out of the Abyss, Chapter 19

Chapter 1 / Chapter 2 / Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9 / Chapter 10 / Chapter 11 / Chapter 12 / Chapter 13 / Chapter 14 / Chapter 15 / Chapter 16 / Chapter 17 / Chapter 18 / Chapter 19: Missing Pieces

After years in exile, ex-Jedi General, Eden Valen (now going by Vale) continues to clean up after Revan and Malak’s mess of a war, only to find herself forever cursed with their unfinished business. As an ill-fated lead brings her to Tatooine, Eden finds that Revan’s mysterious plans go beyond the Republic, beyond the Outer Rim, and into the utter unknown. (A novelization of The Sith Lords and beyond)

Chapter Summary: Erebus unwillingly catches up with his former Jedi Master as Atris’ plans slowly fall into place.

Also found on AO3 | fanfiction.net

3951 BBY, Hyperspace Erebus

Mical's eyes shuddered, moving rapidly beneath his closed lids as his fingers brushed the surface of the onyx pyramid that Eden left for Erebus. Not that she knew her brother by that name, at least not yet.

Erebus watched on intermittently, his gaze flickering between Mical and the sketches he had pinned to his workstation, sketches that roughly resembled the object before them all, granting the Republic officer with whatever visions it deemed worthy. Lonna Vash watched on unblinking, arms crossed over her chest, guarded yet somehow unfazed, as if none of this was news to her.

Before Mical could properly react, or even catch a breath, Erebus sighed with indignation and turned to Vash, his expression one of pure impatience.

"Now that we've completed your little pet project, will you finally tell us what this all means, pretty please?"

Vash met his gaze with an unwavering stare, her dark eyes deep and unyielding.

"I see nothing has changed," she answered curtly, her movements in contrast with her expression as she reached for Mical in what Erebus could only assume was meant to be an empathetic embrace. "What is it you saw?"

This last part she directed at Mical, whose gaze was middling, his eyes darting about Erebus' cargo hold yet focusing on nothing, as if reliving his visions once more before committing them to words.

"An empty hall on Coruscant, an unfinished data entry left unattended, forgotten… And then a desert stretching into the distance, endless, and it was somehow both night and day. I don't know how but I know that I was seeing the same desert over centuries, time passing… and then a flash and I was in the corps again, on the front lines at Jaga's Cluster, tending to the wounded when I heard that the Republic fleet commander was dead, that Cassus Fett had fled into deep space after severing his head… and then I was looking out over a deep chasm on Malachor, though I've only read reports, I-I've never actually been there. I don't know how I know it was Malachor, but something tells me that's exactly what I saw."

Erebus winced.

"What did you see in that chasm?" he heard himself say, regretting it the moment he said it, "Describe the sky."

Mical blinked at him, his gaze still unsettled, unready to focus just yet.

"A blinding green light. Fluorescent green, sickly. From the chasm, I mean. Unearthly, almost. The sky was… stormy. Lots of lightning. I could feel the thunder in my bones."

Erebus nodded, his eyes firm on Mical's, bright and blue, knowing his own eyes mirrored the scene on Malachor - pale green, bright, and venomous, no longer the once-soothing sage of his youth.

"Sounds like Malachor to me."

Lonna turned on him now, an arm still cradled around Mical's arms, firm but unwanted judging by the body language Erebus witnessed beneath her hand.

"I would ask what you saw but I have a feeling I already know," she said to Erebus darkly.

"Of course you do, but why don't you ask me anyway?" Erebus said, plastering a sickeningly sweet smile across his face, the sarcasm dripping from his every pore. Lonna afforded him a glance but said nothing as she released Mical from her grip and let the boy sit down. "Or better yet, why don't you tell me what I saw? All this talk of visions and you've yet to tell us what it is you already know, and why you're putting up with me."

"I know that's why you're making this difficult," Vash sighed, "I get it, I really do. After all these years, the Force begins to...wear on you. It's mysterious ways, it's indignation to divulge further details, failing to tell you what possible futures will come to pass and which ones are already dead in your wake."

Erebus wanted to retort but found that he couldn't, suddenly in odd agreement with Vash. He felt like a child again, playing the brat to counter his own frustration than anything else, not quite making it hard on those around him with the intention to be difficult but to feel less alone in his vexation. Not that it made his behavior any better…

"You're right though, I should explain myself."

Vash lowered herself onto the same crate she had claimed as a seat earlier, easing the weight off her leg as she did then, too. She watched Erebus' gaze as he surveyed her, nodding as she continued.

"I know, I know, there's a lot to explain and that will come into it, too," Vash glanced at her leg and winced, as if acknowledging it made the pain flare up.

"Old injury?" Mical asked, noticing as well. "I was a medic for many years. Many veterans develop the same sort of difficulty, even once the leg has healed it's-"

Vash held up a hand to silence him, smiling despite Mical's efforts as she silently indicated that he need not speak further.

"I'm well aware, but I'm afraid not. In fact, there is no injury."

Mical cocked his head, much like a curious gizka.

"I guess I'll start there," Vash laughed, her voice hollow, "The reason I mentioned your sister earlier, Aiden, is because I never stopped thinking about her. But there was more than just what the record showed of her trial. We on the Council never admitted to what we truly sensed from her, at least not in writing. You know we were cautious of her uncanny ability to create Force bonds, no?"

At this, Mical paled, though Erebus was unsure as to why. Part of him wanted to pry into his mind again, either out of his insatiable curiosity or the odd sense of territorialism he felt at seeing a stranger react to news about his sister. Instead, he only nodded, eager for Vash to continue and for any of this to start making sense.

"Force bonds in general are not wholly unusual. They can often develop after shared traumatic events, or even occur between siblings."

Vash paused, watching Erebus for a reaction. Their eyes met, understanding flowing in their gaze, but Vash did not elaborate further. Erebus' own connection with his sister was not seen as unorthodox when they were children, in fact it was almost expected of them, especially being twins. But once the nature of his sister's abilities became clear, where Erebus had no such affinity for bonds outside of the one he shared with his twin, the Council's attention soured.

"As you may very well know, our most recent war hero had a special affinity for such a talent."

Erebus scoffed.

"Are you talking about Revan and her famous fever dreams or the Jedi pawn Bastila's Battle Meditation?"

Vash's eyes widened but Erebus only waved a hand at her, swatting away her surprise.

"I knew Revan's redemption was oft contested but I wasn't the aware the details had reached even the Si-"

"Word gets around," Erebus cut in before Vash could insult him further. "Jedi aren't as good at keeping secrets as they'd like to believe."

"I would argue, but…. You're right. And not only that, but there are plenty of things that the Jedi unfortunately keep from each other," Vash sighed with resignation. "Which will unfortunately play it's own part in this tale, eventually. And I have a feeling you have some idea of what I'm talking about."

Vash nodded towards Mical, looking meek as always, unsure of whether he should speak. The man didn't seem bashful, more respectful than anything, and Erebus wasn't sure if that made him more annoyed or if it made him respect the man more.

"Aye, Master Vash. I know I was meant to convene with you at the Temple though nothing quite went as planned. I am happy to finally make your acquaintance, but not like this. No offense."

"None taken," Vash laughed, the light returning to her eyes for a moment before flickering out and making way for what Erebus assumed was her now-usual weariness. "Though I am curious as to why a Republic recruit with a relatively clean record would sign up for such a job."

"Job?"

"Your senses failed to tell you?" Vash replied sardonically, "Mical here was hired by one of our old colleagues. You may remember a certain Lucien Draay? Some would call him a heretic, but others might be familiar with his Jedi Covenant, a covert operation that tried to prevent Revan's rise to Sith power but unfortunately only made way for Darth Malak."

Erebus paled though he tried to hide it, hoping that his normal pallor would mask whatever winded him.

"Ah," was all he managed to say, instantly brought back to Atris' archive chambers, hard at work with little sleep trying to track down lost Jedi artifacts to win her favor. "I'm quite familiar."

"I'm not surprised, really," Master Vash said, her tone changing now as she glanced about the cargo hold, her eyes flickering over his sketches, stacks of notes and datapads, her gaze lingering on each item as if she knew exactly what moment of his childhood predated his current obsessions. And in a way Erebus would not be surprised if she did. Master Vash was the instructor he had during his most formative years, at least before the tumultuously formative ones he spent studying under Atris and struggling to make her see why she had chosen him as an apprentice, initially. "This all must strike a chord for you."

"Oh, you think?" Erebus tried not to balk, but the truth of what was happening was as clear to Vash as it was to him. Mical watched, his eyes volleying between each of them as they stewed in their thoughts, waiting for one of them to respond.

"I'm afraid I owe you an apology," Erebus found himself saying after a few tense moments, standing now and looking Mical square in the face, "From one historian to another, I knew what you sought to recover from the temple. In fact, I saw before I'd barely landed on that moon. In a vision, granted by that thing, over there."

Erebus pointed to the artifact, demure and docile on his workbench, yet sinister in its silence, its all-swallowing blackness, a surface so smooth that it should shine but instead soaked in all light as if it sought to snuff it out entirely. A blackhole in miniature. How quaint.

"Why are you telling me this?" Mical looked to Vash as if for an answer, despite not trusting either of them it was clear the boy was more inclined to ask the Jedi for guidance.

"Because it's why we're all here, isn't it?" Erebus said, spreading his arms wide, as if to show off his stores. But his crates were sealed - Mical and Vash could not see their contents. Though he had a feeling Vash already knew what was inside each and every one of the boxes stacked within the room.

"I guess it's my turn to monologue?" Erebus asked cheekily.

"I was hardly finished, but please, do go ahead."

A ghost of a smile spirited over Master Vash's lips and Erebus almost wanted to smile back, if not sardonically. How often he'd hoped to impress her as a child, or Atris, only to come up empty. As if the Force wasn't already hard at work making him bask in his own regret, it was now adding irony to the pot as well.

"I have a feeling this is all connected, but you already know that."

Master Vash's eyes softened as she surveyed him, soaking in the sight of him for a minute before nodding sagely. Yes, you're finally getting it now.

"You may have noticed that I have sketches of the very same object all over this workstation," Erebus started, pointing towards the desk. Mical's eyes followed, as if just noticing the pictures displayed there, though Erebus knew he'd taken stock of them the moment he stepped foot on his ship. "I've been searching for objects of import, particularly Sith in origin, that can extend one's life. Perhaps, unnaturally."

He glanced at Vash, who only raised her eyebrows, obviously displeased with his choice of words but otherwise keen enough for him to continue.

"On the behalf of my… benefactor."

"I take it your benefactor is a proper Sith Lord," Mical mumbled, his eyes still fixed on the sketches pinned to the wall beside the desk with interest, though Erebus could hear the honesty in his voice.

"Proper?!"

"Just, go on - please," Vash cut in, eyes flashing despite the polite expression plastered to her face, "Aiden."

Still feeling the child, Erebus obliged, though the edge remained in his voice as he continued.

"After years of research into an ancient cult there's little evidence of ever having existed, I was brought to Tatooine, believing it to have once been an outpost of sorts. There were several others but nothing remained. All reports were the same, detailing an outlying village with no ties to any major cities, sustained mysteriously with limited trade, though their one export was that."

Erebus motioned towards the pyramid, still sinister in its silence upon his desk.

"That makes sense," Mical mused, examining the sketches again, but this time his gaze danced from the paper to the object in question, as if he were cross-referencing it now. "Tatooine was likely home to a thousand cultures over the eons, each one eventually swallowed up by sand and fast forgotten. Even outposts as recent as sixty years ago have sunk beneath the dunes, never to be heard from again. But that's sort of the nature of the Outer Rim, isn't it? Once a resource dries up, you just move on. Onto the next, without another thought. Because there's no room for anything other than survival. But sand can be a preservative, there's probably a thousand lost civilizations beneath the Dune Sea."

Erebus wanted to say something biting and smart in return but found that he came up empty. The man was absolutely right, even if he didn't have to go on at length just to prove a point.

"No better place to hide a secret Sith cult, no?" Erebus joked instead, though his demeanor was nothing but serious as he continued. "At least, I'm not sure the cult knew necessarily that the objects they worshipped were Sith in origin. Much like you said, this town popped up out of nowhere some eighty years ago and disappeared just as quickly. No one batted an eye. I checked the records from the Tatooine spaceports, and honestly? They could care less who lives and who dies beyond Anchorhead, or any of the other major ports. There was hardly any record of the place alongside a thousand other settlements that had mysteriously either moved in anticipation of an oncoming storm or disappeared entirely."

He stopped, realizing he needed to take a breath. He looked from Mical to Master Vash, surprised to find them both at rapt attention. His throat dry, he attempted to swallow and continue, his voice a rasp husk of what it usually was as he went on.

"I'd been studying this place for some time, unsure of where it was on the planet exactly, and yet when I arrived in Anchorhead…"

I found Eden again, he almost said, the discovery dawning on him as if for the first time, the hair on the back of his neck standing on end. It wasn't so much a surprise as much as it was validation. He'd been irrevocably connected to Eden since their birth, their connection through the Force the first thing he'd truly felt coming into this world and the only thing that remained a constant in his life - until Malachor. But it was because of this tether that he knew - he knew - that if Eden had perished that he would have felt it, that he would feel that tether wrenched from him as she left this plane of existence. He would know.

"I waited. A disturbance in the Force held me back. I quickly learned that my twin sister was living in the city, but she was out of town on a job. I waited around, hoping to… well, I'm not sure exactly what I hoped, but when she returned she was only keen on leaving Anchorhead and Tatooine altogether. And with good reason."

"I take it this is about the bounty posted by the Exchange?" Vash peppered into Erebus' offered pause. He nodded.

"Precisely, which is another coincidence I don't believe to be quite the happy accident it seems, though I haven't figured that one out yet."

"Wasn't there already a bounty on Jedi?" Mical chimed in, clearly confused now as he pushed away from Erebus' desk and began to pace the small space shared between them.

"Oh, you may not have heard, being held hostage and all," Erebus said with a casual air despite his growing discomfort at Mical's growing ease to peruse his ship as he wished, crossing his arms as he leaned against the cargo hold door with a careful nonchalance painted heavily with passive aggression, "The Exchange posted a bounty on all Jedi, yes, but General Eden Valen's records and most recent whereabouts and aliases were posted to the holonet boasting a handsome fifty million credits if she was found alive."

"Found alive? And what, brought to the Exchange?" Mical asked, almost outraged at the news.

"Presumably."

"But for what purpose?"

"Who knows?" Erebus countered, exasperated, "At this point I'd like not to care, but I'm honestly probably just as afraid as you are at the idea. There were rumors during the Mandalorian Wars of a rogue doctor testing Jedi, though I don't know what ever happened to him or if he was ever brought to justice. But somehow, whatever it was Eden was doing out there when I arrived at Anchorhead, she ended up coming back with that." Erebus pointed at the black pyramid again as if they needed any reminding, almost jarred by how serenely it sat there despite everything. "I won't get into the boring details of how we managed to leave the city and end up on Space City, but she found the outpost I had been searching for somehow. I'm not sure how or what else she took from there, but she left one piece. For me. Perhaps she saw the drawings and left it as a peace offering, I really don't know. But when I touched that thing? I saw the Temple, but more specifically, I saw Exar Kun. He led me there. To you."

"Exar Kun?" Mical repeated, inching toward Erebus with a furrowed brow, "In the flesh?"

"No, no, the mural of him.The one that graces the city walls leading to the Temple like a warning."

"A warning of what The Great Sith War might wrought if the true threat was not destroyed," Mical mused, still pacing.

"I take it this is where you fit into all of this?" Erebus asked, this time actively trying to wring his voice of all bitterness, in an attempt to play nice.

Mical paused and locked eyes with Vash, who only nodded before dropping her gaze to the floor, losing herself in thought before Mical elaborated.

"I may be a Republic Scout but I have a history with the Jedi. I served with the Corps during Revan's war, made a few friends. There's a theory about some things they found during the Dxun campaign, as well as a few others, though Dxun being the most notorious. As you may know, Dxun and its history with the orbiting Onderon factor heavily in Exar Kun's fall to the… Dark Side." Mical said, his voice straying over the last two words as if he didn't mean to offend, perhaps not out of fear but out of confusion for just what their allegiances meant in close quarters like this, not quite enemies but still far from allies. "What with Revan's sudden change of heart and history repeating itself all over again, I don't think there's any coincidence about it. And the fact that there were skirmishes out on Tatooine, skirmishes that Revan herself fought in, not far from where you found that thing-"

"I didn't find it, Eden did," Erebus corrected, though his voice was almost whispersoft, afraid of growing accustomed to saying his sister's name out loud again - Eden, Ede - as if doing so might either summon or banish her, and he wasn't yet sure which was worse.

"Which is even more peculiar, I think," Mical continued, picking up his stride again despite the small space, "Considering there are reports of General Valen finding similar objects to this one on Dxun. Different in shape, yes, but with similar properties, similar makeup. Objects which were conveniently lost in transit. Revan, General Valen, the myth of Exar Kun, the Sith - it's all connected somehow. But, what I'm wondering is… why now? Exar Kun fell to the Dark Side and turned almost fifty years ago. But now the Jedi are vanishing, and Revan went missing earlier this standard year, the exiled General Valen suddenly re-emerges…" Mical shook his head, trying to make sense of it all. "There's something larger at work here."

Erebus looked at Mical square in the eye now, keen on making another smart remark about the Force and coincidences, but when their eyes met he found that he couldn't. Mical's bright eyes bore into his, almost pleading, and though it was in the spirit of making his case, Erebus felt as if he owed the man an apology - but for reasons unknown to him. If Erebus had not so easily succumbed to anger all those years ago, would he be anything like the man standing before him? Square jaw and sweeping blonde hair aside -

"Wait," Erebus said, the hair on his neck truly standing on end now as a memory took form in his mind's eye as he spoke, an image of the man before him morphing into something similar yet different - smaller in stature perhaps, and younger. Oh, so much younger. "I know you."

Though Erebus' eyes never left Mical's, he could see Lonna Vash smirk in his peripheral vision, though she remained quiet, watching.

"You came to the Archives, on Coruscant. You wanted to study under Atris, with-"

"With Eden Valen, yes."

The moment solidified as Mical confirmed it - a young boy of about twelve wandering into the Archives, bothering Erebus (Aiden, then) for an audience with the Master Historian, claiming to have a long-standing appointment, and Erebus arguing with him that it could not be the case because he knew every minutiae of the Historian's schedule down to the precise moment, only to find himself terribly wrong once Atris swept into the room to sweep the boy right back into her office without as much as a backward glance, much less an apology. Mical had been exceedingly polite then and almost as much now, circumstances willing, but back then he'd been Atris' attempt to keep Eden with the Order, a consolation prize meant to spur her onto Knighthood.

"You were meant to be her apprentice, her Padawan…"

I won't be bribed, Eden had said, If they wanted to make me a Knight they would have done it already, they would have assigned me to a proper Master and given me the same courtesy they did you. You didn't see what Revan showed me out there, Aiden, she'd pleaded, You have to believe me, it's worse than anything you could imagine.

All roads lead to Eden, he thought, laughing darkly.

"You knew this already, didn't you?" Erebus said, tearing his eyes away from Mical's equally surprised gaze, the words finding purchase as he looked Vash in the eye. "I think it's time you finish that origin story of yours."

Master Vash only looked back at him, the smirk she wore earlier fading slightly into something more serious. She brushed a strand of greying black hair behind her ear and reached into her robe, producing another black pyramid, this one smaller than the first, slight enough to comfortably hide in a closed fist.

"I was there when the Jedi found her," she began, her dark eyes fixed on the pyramid as she held it up to examine more closely. Mical's face paled.

"General Valen?"

Vash shook her head.

"No, Revan."

Neither Mical nor Erebus spoke, glancing at one another before awaiting Vash's response, a new kinship kindled between them in unknowing, the mystery unfolding before them both despite their past or their current affiliations. The Force would see to it that they were in this together, now, whether they liked it or not.

"We found her wandering the desert."

She didn't have to say which planet. Erebus already knew.

"She didn't carry anything with her. Only this."

Vash tossed the pyramid gently into the air, catching it gingerly in her palm, feeling the weight of it before she leaned over and set it on the desk beside its matching piece, the one Eden left behind.

"We brought her to Nespis, just as you had been, Aiden. I'm surprised this thing was still there."

"I take it the Jedi never discovered its true properties?" Erebus ventured. Vash shook her head.

"My Master back then saw a vision as well, when she first touched the artifact, though she never told me what she saw, nor did she let me touch it myself. Nothing indicated that she saw anything dark or disturbing. If anything, it validated her decision to bring Revan to the Jedi, to train as one of us."

Vash sighed, her eyes still fixed on the pyramids, now a pair.

"Your Master?" Erebus probed, uncertain whether Master Vash had ever mentioned any of the Jedi Masters that had trained her in their time together as teacher and student.

"Master Arren Kae."

A shiver ran down Erebus' spine at the name. Disgrace, he instantly recalled Atris saying, A traitor if there ever was one.

Master Arren Kae had not only gone on to train Revan but had also followed her to war, a grievous offense in Atris' book. She is the antithesis of everything it means to be a Jedi, a devout follower of the Light. Not only had she trained the next Exar Kun, but there were also rumors of Kae and an Echani General, whose name escaped Erebus despite how much it bothered him to forget something - regardless of how trivial.

Echani. Like the young women at the temple...

"My apprentice and I were scouring the old Temples for anything that could lead us to the new Sith threat, anything we could pass along to the Republic." Vash continued, interrupting his thoughts, "Lucien Draay had headed the effort years ago, but after what happened at Katarr, someone needed to take over where he left off. This pyramid was still sitting in the archives on Space City, unmarked, along with the cache you recovered, Mical, as well. I couldn't get to it once the Echani started watching the perimeter, much less when the Golden Company moved in."

The hair on the back of Erebus' neck stood on end as he followed Vash's gaze from the desk to the satchel Mical had brought aboard from the Temple. The cache so prized it was one of few objects set apart from the rest of the Archive's contents, let alone from any potential Dark Side users that might attempt to steal it - someone such as himself. But he'd glimpsed its contents when he had peered into Mical's mind, the mounting coincidences still not lost on him.

"Exar Kun's lightsaber," he breathed, almost reverent. Erebus almost expected Mical or Vash to make a face (A Sith? Fawning over the Dark Jedi Exar Kun? How cliché... ) but neither one reacted. It was the stuff of legend, but for Erebus is was both the dream and the nightmare. The famed object he'd coveted as a child yet feared all the same.

"I should have sensed the path you might take, Aiden," Vash said, her voice rasp with remembering, "You modeled your first lightsaber after this one, no?"

Erebus nodded, his eyes still fixed on the unopened satchel.

"What did you think of a Padawan fashioning his lightsaber after the weapon of a turncoat? Back then, I mean?"

He hadn't expected to ask, though he felt as if the question had been there all along, so much of his past coming to light that unearthing any more of it seemed only natural.

"I thought it was a coping mechanism," Vash admitted, "So many children were afraid, back then especially, but you most of all. The other Masters told me what happened when they first brought you to Space City, what you said about the mural. And despite whatever it is that brought you to where you are now, I suspect some of that still holds true."

"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate. You know the rest." Erebus wanted to laugh, though his voice was far more somber than intended in his sarcasm. Vash smiled and glanced down into her lap.

"Something like that."

"I don't mean to interrupt this meaningful catch-up or anything, but-" Mical interrupted, polite as ever, his face painted with pure concern, "But you said you were at the Temple with your apprentice? As in… your current apprentice? Just hours ago?"

Vash looked at Mical and nodded, the weight of her unspoken answer clear on her face and obvious in her apprentice's absence.

"I'm... so sorry," Mical said, shaking his head as he crossed his arms. "If there's anything I can do-"

Vash put up a hand, pleading "Please, I appreciate it but I think the best thing we can do is consider our next steps."

"Our?" Erebus butt in, "And is this when you tell us where your injury comes from, finally?"

She nodded, inhaling a bracing breath before regaling her audience with an answer.

"I've yet to figure that out, to be honest," Vash winced again followed by a sharp intake of breath, "Though it's worth noting that my apprentice, Korath-"

She paused, a lump forming in her throat as she continued, her eyes welling up..

"Korath was taken down in a rain of blasterfire when the Golden Company arrived, completely severing his right leg."

She swallowed the rasp in her voice away, or at least attempted to, looking at neither man as she continued.

"He'd been touching the artifact when they materialized, the visions likely overwhelming his Force sense."

"And where were you?" Erebus said, at least trying not to sound accusatory, though his voice betrayed him despite it.

"I was in the library when they attacked him, watching you."

The Jedi he'd sensed in the Archive, of course, Erebus had figured as much. "But that still doesn't explain how you know-"

"I saw it," she said, interrupting him, "In my mind's eye, through the Force. It was as if… as if I was seeing it through his eyes. As if Korath wanted me to see. To perhaps help him, I…" she trailed off, shaking her head a shaking hand reached up to massage the back of her neck. "I don't know."

She looked down, her hands having descended from her neck to now wring together in her lap. "But I felt it, too. The pain in my leg. It was as if I was being shot at as well, bleeding out on the floor. You can see why your sister plays a part in this, and I don't think it's a coincidence that half the galaxy's now on her tail, either. Especially after all these years."

Erebus shook his head, though in sage agreement, knowing there was more to why Eden was of particular interest to Darth Nihilus and could not explain, and knowing that he had so many questions for what Vash sensed from Eden the day she was exiled, understanding why the woman would be wary to deign him an earnest answer.

"Korath was still holding the artifact when I found him, his fist closed tight." Vash mimicked the movement, her knuckles turning white. "And that's when I saw it. All of this, the Temple collapse, this ship, you… and Dantooine."

"So that's how you knew to find us here?" Erebus confirmed, Vash nodding solemnly as their eyes met briefly across the room.

"And what awaits us there? On Dantooine?" Mical asked, his voice soft but soothing in the seething quiet that followed Vash's vision.

"The next piece of this puzzle, I imagine," Vash said, sighing, "I think it's worth noting that an unaffiliated group of otherwise unknown Echani as well as the most notorious mercenary group in this sector were interested in what was kept in that Temple is a start. And like I said, I don't think it's a coincidence that these objects link to Revan and Exar Kun both."

Vash and Mical, as if on cue, both turned to Erebus, watching him for a reaction.

"Oh, I imagine this is where you suspect I come in, then?" he asked, clutching his chest dramatically to show his offense, since their imposing presence on his ship wasn't proof enough.

Vash shrugged meekly as Mical crossed his arms, his expression unchanging, neither one of them elaborating on their stance, though their opinions seemed set in stone.

"Ah, I see," Erebus said, sucking in a breath through gritted teeth, "Not only have I studied these objects, but I'm now supposed to be your stand-in for traitorous Jedi? Since it seems neither Revan nor Exar Kun could make it. Busy schedules and all, being either missing or dead. Okay, sure, I'll play along…"

Erebus stood up straight, pushing his out his chest as he clasped his hands behind his back, his fingertips already tingling with electricity. Calming himself with a measured breath, he continued, making sure to look both of them square in the eye, one after the other and back again, as he spoke.

"I will warn you, though I assure you I don't have to," he began, his voice a chilling monotone, soft enough that both Vash and Mical were forced to lean towards him in order to catch his every word, "That my Master is likely on our tail if he's not already on Eden's. He knows we crossed paths, I can feel it. And if he sees fit to catch up with us - with me - and demand answers? I cannot protect you, even if I wanted to."

"And your Master… is he- erm, are they-?" Mical started, though the words died on his throat before he could finish.

"Oh trust me," Erebus interrupted, his voice harsh and unrelenting, and not because he wished to instill fear in his unwilling companions but because the most he could do for them as well as himself was tell the truth, "You don't want to know. And if you did, you'd wish you didn't."

If you even want to refer to Nihilus as anything that might make him seem human, Erebus thought, thinking it best if he not elaborate - at least not out loud - thinking on the horror that was his Master. But for Erebus, it was the horror that fascinated him most - the horror and the awe, the utterly unfathomable thing that he was, something and somewhere between being and nonbeing, hunger without end. Vash's eyes were steady on him, her expression unwavering, as if she knew that Nihilus was the one responsible for Katarr. Erebus could only hold her gaze, regardless of what conclusion she came to, before breaking away and making his exit.

"We have three days before we reach Dantooine," Erebus finally said, breaking the silence, though his voice was just as severe, just as sinister, "I suggest you get some rest. I can't imagine we'll get much in the eons to come."

And with that, Erebus left Vash and Mical in his cargo bay - along with his notes, his life's work, and a slew of other things he'd prefer to keep from prying eyes - and closed the door so he was finally alone in the cockpit with only the white-blue of hyperspace for company. As soon as the thing shut, his fingers exploded with static energy at his sides, muffled only by the fabric of his robes.

Seething still, Erebus steadied himself with a few deep breaths, trying not to reach out with the Force to watch as Vash and Mical undoubtedly proceeded to peruse his things or talk behind his back. Instead, he sunk into his pilot's chair and, propping his boots up on the console, figured it best he take his own advice, and sleep.

------

3951 BBY, Telos Atris

"We should be arriving within a standard day, Mistress," Orenna spoke into the transponder, her holo-visage a ghostly blue in Atris' chambers, "We managed to retrieve some objects of import mentioned in your manifest, but overall we were unable to recover everything before the mercenaries moved in. Would you like for us to pursue?"

Orenna, like the others, was so serene, so calm. A pool of water waiting in a glen, stirring only with a ripple at the mere hint of the breeze. Concentric circles forming one from another, an echo in endless chorus until… nothing. Stillness, again. Calm.

There is no passion, there is serenity.

"Not for the moment, no," Atris said, matching her voice to the Echani's timbre. She wanted them to pursue, yes, but she needed to study what they found first, her thirst for knowledge as insatiable as ever. The logs she'd retrieved years ago divulged most of Nespis VIII's stores, but it was different seeing the objects in person. It was different seeing an object through the Force - raw and rending, like tearing flesh straight from bone. Pure and untainted.

There is no chaos, there is harmony.

"We will re-evaluate the situation once you return," Atris elaborated, "We still have the Exile to consider."

"Understood, Mistress," Orenna nodded, reverent.

"And how is your sister?" Atris asked, her voice brimming with unknowing as she spoke, though she did her best to conceal it.

There is no ignorance, there is knowledge.

"She is stable, for now," Orenna responded, looking over her shoulder as if checking on Brianna herself, though they were clearly separated by the walls of the ship, "I don't believe she is in any state to report, however."

"There is no need, at least not for the moment." Atris smiled, her expression tranquil as the gesture scarcely graced her features, "We will speak when you return."

Orenna nodded, a similar smile overcoming her face. Echani took after the physical appearance of the parent whose gender they matched, and though Atris had never met the sisters' mother she could still sense a bit of Yusanis' regality in the girls, in the way they carried themselves and the way they spoke, even if they did not resemble him physically. It was what had drawn her to the sisters from the moment she met them, tasked with divulging the news of their father's passing on behalf of the Jedi at the end of the war. But Atris had met Brianna's mother once, the bastard sister bearing another woman's face… but she could no longer recall her name, nor what she looked like, Brianna's face now a similar blur in her memory. And Atris did not know why.

"Mistress-?" Orenna interrupted, her expression growing concerned, "Is there anything I can-?"

There is no emotion, there is peace.

"No, no," Atris laughed genially, an inner calm falling over her like fresh snow, "Just alert me when you have arrived."

"And of the ship we saw dock at Nespis?" Orenna asked again, this time uncertain.

Release her records, the woman had said. The Sith will follow.

"We shall devise a plan upon your arrival."

Orenna hesitated a moment before nodding in affirmation, signing off. Business as usual.

Everything was falling into place. But now… Atris would wait.

She would retreat to her study until the sisters returned, meditate on what she knew to be true and what she willed to be so, trusting the Force to set things right and avenge the Jedi that sacrificed their lives for the secret she now knew to be true.

There is no death, there is the Force.

The future of the Jedi rested on her shoulders alone, now. And she would shoulder the burden, no matter the cost.

#kotor 2 #atris #fan fiction #star wars #mical the disciple #my writing #idk how to tag this anymore #brianna the handmaiden #also I have not updated this since august so... ta dahhhh #my ocs

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severalspoons · 4 years

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Liveblog: Rewatching Trigun, Episode 17, Part 1

Episode 17 frustrates me immensely. All the most important facts are stated clearly. But a lot of the meaning and implications are at best found in brief hints. And while there’s a lot of symbolism, discussed in an interesting way here, it’s not enough to explain why Knives decided it was right to kill everyone except themselves and perhaps Rem. I would even argue, that’s never explained.

Get ready for a long post, because I’m going to overthink everything.

-- “I think that planet is going to be our new home!”

-- Rem is excited to create their new home, the Captain has a scientific bent, and Steve is a drunk, sexually harrassing pig. There is also a lady whose name I didn’t catch who seems to exist to be harrassed by Steve in the anime. Edit: There is also a lady named Mary who doesn’t seem to have any purpose until later.

-- Who does make the decision where they’ll land? Especially if almost everyone on the fleet except a small skeleton crew is in cold sleep.

-- Why are the twins in a separate room from the crew?

-- Knives is quietly watching the screen. Vash is wearing a party hat and a fake mustache and generally messing around. Wonder how well he understands what’s going on?

-- “Are there flowers on this planet?” Rem, you’re literally all seeing this planet for the first time and all the readings are about large-scale things like atmosphere and habitability. How would anyone know?

-- Also, is it just me or is Rem’s voice just high pitched enough to be really annoying? (Sorry). Also...is she drunk?

-- Rem, suppose there are no red flowers. Would that be a dealbreaker for you?

-- “Why don’t they wake up?” Wait. Does Vash seriously not know what cold sleep is and that these people are in cold sleep???

-- “It’s so quiet. There’s only 7 people.” I get it, it’s a big ship to be occupied by so few people, but let’s just say I’m not surprised how much time he spends in crowded bars years later.

-- Vash doesn’t know what’s written on the outside of the ship? I’d think if there were no windows from which he could view the writing, there’d be information in the ship’s computers. Does he just sit around waiting to be told about the world?

-- “If there’s a God...He must be laughing right now. Our pitiful struggle for immortality must seem like an impossible quest to Him.. “the desperate human will to survive, to carry on our species.” Even Rem, the dreamer, calls the whole thing “pitiful” and “impossible.” No wonder Knives comes to see it that way.

Rem is agnostic?

-- “We’re the caretakers...it’s our job to let them sleep in peace.” “is there anything we can do to help you?” Aww. <3

Um, she did say “our” job, Vash. That includes you. Or is this how he communicates he doesn’t see himself as part of the crew, but would still like to help? Honestly, if it was typical how they kept him and Knives in a separate room even when celebrating the discovery of a potential new home, I can see why.

-- “Oh, THAT’s where you are.” Knives sounds like he got bored with the area and moved on a long time ago. His voice sounds harsher than Vash’s from the beginning.

-- The conversation between Knives and Rem in the rec room is weird. Like Knives is judging Rem, or Rem at least feels that way. “You really like that song.” Kids would normally ask a question, like “why do you sing that song so much?” or “what is that song?”

“It pops into my head whenever I feel happy. Do you think it’s strange?” Who asks their 8 year old adopted kid if they think your everyday habits are strange?

“No, it’s a nice song,” which is a judgment even though it’s a positive one.

After hearing Knives’ voice sound like that it’s weird to see his cute wide eyes. The crew member behind him looks uncomfortable.

-- “It’s weird. Nothing moved since we’ve been here, but everything seems different for some reason.” “That’s because it’s alive!” That’s actually a profound point about the difference between something made, like a computer, and something that grows, like a person. You always know what a program is going to do because you wrote it that way, and your furniture is always going to stay in the same place unless someone moves it. But a flower or an insect or a person is constantly changing, and you can’t always predict how.

-- “Hmm?” That doesn’t make intuitive sense to Knives, I guess. Vash is smiling behind Rem. IDK if that’s because it makes sense to him, or because he just enjoys listening to what Rem says.

-- “It has its own rhythm. You can actually feel the living heartbeat of the plants.” I think Knives is thinking of a different kind of plant than you are, Rem.

-- “So this is the world you and the crew keep talking about.”

-- “We’re not just going to see it, we’re going to create it.” Vash and Knives seem to agree on that. They just will end up with very different ideas of what that Eden looks like. :(

-- “There will be nothing but peaceful days,” “with no war,” “and no stealing,” “an Eden where people can live in freedom and harmony, right?” (That’s got to be Vash at the end, asking for confirmation or approval).

Aww, those sweet little babies and their impossible dream, finishing each other’s sentences! I am crying all the tears right now.

Although, even Vash isn’t as naive as you’d think from how he talks. They know what war and stealing are. They know that freedom and harmony aren’t guaranteed. They’ve probably studied at least some of Earth’s history.

-- Here we are at the moment of no return! In the briefing room, Rem, the Captain, and the twins are sitting around a table looking at a hologram of Earth. Vash and Knives are told that Project SEEDS started because “the state of our home, Earth, was so desperate that...mankind could no longer survive there.”

-- “Judging from the data, mankind is responsible for damaging the planet,” Knives says. “Right, Captain?” He’s being objective, he’s looking at the data, he’s asking the Captain rather than Rem for help. But I bet he’s hoping it isn’t true.

-- Why SEEDS? Rem: “the need to survive.” Seems morally neutral enough.

The Captain: “the behavior of clinging to life until the verge of death is intrinsic to all organisms. Survival instincts take over, dismissing shame in order to live.” The Captain seems to be ashamed not only of humans destroying the Earth, but of their trying to survive. Knives seems to get that message loud and clear.

What Vash seemed to pick up is the idea that people should be ashamed of what they do to survive, and maybe that it’s right to hang onto that as much as you can while still living. Maybe that’s what the scars are for?

-- “But is it right to live if it means such sacrifices?” That’s...a cold way of putting it, Knives.

-- “We make the smallest sacrifice we can think of at the time.”

One could say Knives picked up this idea, but I don’t think so. He’s going to make some pretty big “sacrifices,” and I don’t think he tries to keep them small for very long.

-- Two different (and actually compatible) answers to Knives’ question:

“Unlike other organisms on this planet, we possess logic, the knowledge to minimize the sacrifice.”

“Also, as human beings, we have the ability to right our wrongs. Hopefully we can learn from our mistakes and start over again in a new home.” Hopefully. Even Rem knows there’s no guarantee.

-- After the meeting, the Captain realizes (surprisingly, before Rem does), that it didn’t go well. He believes he doesn’t know how to be an educator and he’s not cut out to be a father. He downplays his knowledge of computers and reasoning, and says what really matters is what Rem does: teach them about emotions, being kind to others, and the value of the future.

Rem, in turn, says she has no idea how to raise kids either, and what she does is no big deal, she just plays with them.

“I guess we just have a different way of looking at things,” the Captain says. And they continue respecting each other’s perspective and working together peacefully.

It’s too bad Vash and Knives weren’t present to see them model getting along with different strengths and beliefs (although they must have seen other examples). This is what the twins should have become.

***

Oh look, it’s the dichotomy between Thinking + STEM (modeled by the Captain, emulated by Knives) and Feeling + Social Intelligence (modeled by Rem, followed by Vash). This is one of my least favorite tropes. When I was a kid, I overthought like Knives while wearing my heart on my sleeve like Vash, and if this blog is any indication, not much has changed.

Humans were never going to be sufficient intellectual role models for the plant kids, so I understand why Rem and the Captain focused on their social and emotional development. But they, especially Knives, needed someone to listen to their thoughts and worries and take them seriously. Vash needed someone to model the process of looking for answers, instead of just waiting for someone to tell him what he wanted to hear. Knives needed someone to help him deal with the more disturbing implications of what he learned. The Captain sold himself short here. He could have done a good job with this.

Rem’s style was to talk about feelings and memories, and to talk as little as possible about unpleasant truths, like the reason for the SEEDS mission. She waited to talk to Vash about it until he asked, and even then her answers were incomplete and...oversimplified, to say the least. That worked for her and Vash. Knives, however, seemed to want to understand things for himself. He didn’t just need what he would’ve seen as empty words of reassurance. He needed someone to engage with what he knew.

I think Rem missed his attempts to talk about what was bothering him, because they were couched in factual rather than feeling terms. He talked about the thoughts that made him feel the way he did, not directly about the feelings themselves. For example, when he asked about humans destroying the Earth, he was horrified and seriously wondering what good humans were. The Captain addressed these implications, and realized the conversation did not go well. Rem just shared her beliefs.

Neither of them helped him feel secure or loved. Neither of them helped him deal with his feelings about not being human, his horror that humans had destroyed Earth, and his fears that they might do the same with their new home. I don’t know if either of them knew much of what was on his mind. I think Knives spent a lot of time stewing alone. He already had the angry voice of a future villain, and neither empathetic Rem nor his own twin seemed to notice. For that matter, no one seemed to know that Steve was bullying him, or at least no one was doing anything about it. Does that seem strange to anyone else?

Knives chose to become a genocidal maniac. This is the context in which he made his choices.

Instead of a single person getting split into Thinking and Feeling sides, the siblings were split into a Feeling Twin and a Thinking Twin, to the detriment of both. As they chose different beliefs, role models, and ways of life, they continued farther and farther along these polarized tracks their elders set for them.

Yet, IMO, Rem and the Captain were both right. Rem was right about good and evil, how to hope, and what to live for. The captain was right about how to make decisions in an imperfect world, and the need to accept unpleasant truths.

One thing I appreciate about the anime ending is Vash and Knives have an opportunity come to some sort of compromise, or at least a working balance. I actually like that it’s left to us to imagine how.

***

Hypothesis: In the Myers-Briggs system, Vash = ENFP and Knives = INTJ. What do you think?

#I could easily be wrong with Knives

#intj is the one n type I don’t know much about

#trigun #trigun anime #liveblog #liveblogging #rem saverem #vash the stampede #knives millions #millions knives #tropes #choices #feels #gifted kid problems #gifted problems #philosophy #good and evil #writing techniques

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ylizam · 5 years

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femslash exchange creator letter [currently a placeholder, soon to be real]

Hi, Hello, Hey. First of all–thank you! This is my standard you offered to write one of my fandoms, so you’re obviously a perfect paragon of humanity and all that jazz opening spiel, full of generals likes and dislikes, I’m sure you know the drill. I’ll make sure the fandom specific stuff is up by the time assignments go out. (That said, if you already have an idea about how you want to write about the fandom we match on—wow, I’m jealous! tell me your secrets!—just skip over the fandom stuff and go forth with your bad self.)

Things I like include, but are in no way limited to: fun with POV, fun with linear vs. non-linear storytelling, fun with tone, fun with writing. I really dig character studies, stories that really get into what makes a character tick (and something porny that can get at that is wonderful too), and I like relationships that are hard and prickly and worth fighting for. I like happy endings that don’t feel tacked on or forced. I like doubt, and hope, and theology; I like actors, and directors, and I like the random deity. I like fairy tales. I like (love) romance tropes. Forced to share a bed, marriages of convenience, fake dating, friends-to-lovers, idiots-to-lovers, enemies-to-lovers: it’s all like unto catnip. I like interesting turns of phrase, I like the perfect line, I like any story written just for me. If you have any questions about my taste (or lack thereof), feel free to ask @summervillen who probably knows my fannish tastes better than I do.

Things that I would prefer you not include—especially gratuitously; there are obviously ways to engage with problematic actions/thoughts/etc. in fiction, but there’s such a fine line there—are as follows: noncon, necrophilia, pedophilia, incest, non-character driven racism/sexism/[all]isms. I also have a pretty big embarrassment squick. A/B/O doesn’t do anything for me. And I’m not really interested in AUs for any of these fandoms: canon divergence is fine, but not-related-to-canon alternate universes really aren’t my preference here.

Babylon 5 Delenn/Susan Ivanova I just ship them post-canon so hard. Later in life chances at love are sort of a thing of mine, and add to that two of my favorite characters ever, well, it’s like this pairing is made for me. That said, if you can find a way to write them during canon (maybe John doesn’t return from Z'ha'dum, maybe Delenn and John just never get together at all, maybe you can think of something I can’t) I’d love that too. Delenn/Shaal Mayan I’d love a story about them that’s really Minbari–that understands that neither of them is human. Something set when they were young and just figuring themselves out (and first love is rarely forever but it feels like it must be) or something set when Mayan visits Babylon 5 in season one or, heck, something set after the series ends. (I have a thing for writing on skin, so if you can find a way to fit that in more power to you.)

ER Jeanie Boulet/Kerry Weaver Elizabeth Corday/Kerry Weaver

Oh, the women of ER, how I love them. While I don’t want a never a medical professional AU, I’m fine with playing loose with canon events for these. (That said, I love that Jeanie can be HIV+ and fall in love, have sex, be happy, so while you don’t have to go deep on that I’d rather you didn’t change it.) I love the idea of post-series Jeanie/Kerry, but would also love something that takes place earlier (does Kerry realizing she’s attracted to Jeanie make her admit she’s a lesbian? do arguments over staffing lead to heated makeouts in the break room?). As for Elizabeth/Kerry, just think of all the sparks. All. Of. Them. I’m not a huge Mark fan, so I’d rather he not be front and center, but I’m fine with you including him as part of Elizabeth’s past if you want to go that route. I’m also fine with ignore canon relationships all together. Go wild, basically.

Doctor Who Donna Noble/Thirteenth Doctor Donna Noble/River Song

Donna. Deserved. Better. Which is to say: ignore what happened to her, fix what happened to her, however you want to go about it, but make it better. I mean, imagine a world where Donna just shows up and has fun times with whatever Doctor is Doctoring at the time, and when it’s Thirteen they have to pretend to be married for some reason or other and, oh, kissing feels good! Or maybe River meets her during one of those times, and they spend so much time rolling their eyes about the Doctor that they end up in bed! (Or, um, feel free to go a threesome route with Thirteen, Donna, and River. If you want.) I just really do not want a story that is all about how much Donna loses or that ends with her without her memories again or any of that—if you fix it but keep what happened as story-canon, go ahead and have her deal with the fallout if if you want, but I can’t really cope with that being the (eventual or in-story) ending.

Star Trek: Classic Timeline Beverly Crusher/Vash Kimara Cretak/Kira Nerys

First of all, I don’t know book canon, so include it, don’t include, whatever floats your proverbial boat. Second of all, I am more than happy with “this character lives” stories here. Which is to say, feel free to have Cretak escape/live/etc. Feel free to ignore anything that happens to Bev or Vash or Nerys. I basically think there should be reams and reams of fic about both of these pairings, and yet there is not. For Kira/Cretak I’d especially love something that recognizes that neither of them is human; play around with what we know of their cultures, about how those cultures might clash or unexpectedly mesh, how that can affect a relationship both positively and negatively. And just have fun with Beverly and Vash (and feel free to bring Picard in if you want, either as a friend or a third romantic partner or whatever). And of course I love the crews of the Enterprise and Deep Space Nine, so their reactions and relationships with everyone involved are more than welcome additions (although, again, not necessary).

Game of Thrones Brienne of Tarth/Sansa Stark

Look, the show did everyone dirty. The show did their relationship dirty. The show did writing dirty. Feel free to fix things, either by using the canon ending as a jumping board—maybe it turns out that an all-seeing-knowing-etc. being doesn’t make for a good king and revolt happens! maybe Bran and Sansa meet up for some sort of political thing or another and Brienne’s there as Lord Commander and things happen!—or by going AU (in the for want of a sense, not the everyone’s in space sense). Oh, and this is definitely a pairing where I would dig service kink if you are interested in writing such a thing. Look, it’s right there.

This is also the only pairing I requested a vid for; I’d love anything that builds on their relationship, maybe plays around with service and fealty and honor and the way different women fight. (I’m sorry; my ability to write about vidding is limited, but know that I’d love anything. I love all sorts of music. I love all sorts of vids.)

#femslashex #dear author letter #long post #(i used a read more #which as we all know is less than helpful in places)#babylon 5 #star trek: ds9 #star trek: the next generation #er #game of thrones #doctor who

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worldcakecakecake · 5 years

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Good Luck Friedrich

A series of video diaries by Isabella Beilschmidt for her baby brother, Friedrich, where she details and explains the lives of their hectic family.

I just noticed the last chapter for this story was posted...last year. I...am so sorry! As always, many things and I apologize once again. Please know I write on this story when I can and I shall continue to update...it just might take...several months. Never the less, I hope you enjoy this chapter!

Video 5.3

Feliciano’s pregnancies were now routine. In fact, Ludwig used what was Isabella’s pregnancy scheduling for this new baby. Sure, the usual horrible cravings, vomiting, pains and difficulties, but other beauties that made Feliciano shine as he usually did when he carried a new child.

It was with spring ending, Feliciano’s bump beginning to be shown more clearly, did they gather the children in the living room and told them the news. Heinrich and Alessandro were indifferent, in fact, they just gazed to their parents like they had just told them to go up and clean their room and continued on with their handheld video games. Analise and Isabella on the other hand, jumped and celebrated, hugging Feliciano so tightly, caressing and always asking for a touch and feel of his bump. For this pregnancy, they tried what they could to spend time with Feliciano, helping him in harsh circumstances, with millions and millions of questions about their new coming sibling. They constantly asked for a sister, already imagining and plotting all the games they could play and all the things they could dress her up in. Although in their throws Ludwig had asked for a boy, he really did not mind the gender and would be just as excited and proud for a girl. Sadly, for Analiese and Isabella, Feliciano returned one day from his sonogram showing an alpha male. The girls had pouted and had even been angry, making the elder twin brothers laugh, clapping their hands in celebration for another boy in the family. Feliciano promised them that they would still be able to do all the fun things they had planned.

Upon finding out its gender, came the time to think of fitting names, to which Feliciano had been insisting on calling it either Ludwig or even Ludovico.

“No,” Ludwig was reluctant.

“Why not?” Feliciano pouted.

“I don’t want my name to be repeated in the household. Ludovico sounds too old fashioned and it doesn’t ring as a perfect name. Also…I don’t like the idea of you calling someone else ‘Luddy’”

“Mio dio, Ludwig, this is your son were talking about.”

“Still…I’m the only you should call Luddy.”

Feliciano laughed against his chest, wrapping his arms more strongly around him. “No one can replace you, amore,” Feliciano assured.

“Actually, yes, my children are perfectly capable of replacing me.”

Feliciano rolled his eyes, landing a playful hit on his shoulder. “I love you all equally but differently, as this baby.” He rubbed his stomach as for emphasis.

“I hope he doesn’t end up dethroning me.”

“Dethroning you?”

“I think I’m still in Analiese’s game.”

“Our daughter is pretending to dethrone people?”

“Things get pretty intense in her tea parties.”

“When I’m playing, all we ever do is talk about peace and treaties.”

“…I do solve things by just waging another war.”

“There’s your problem then,” Feliciano laughed.

Silence then settled, just wanting to relax, staring to the ceiling, waiting for sleep to take and get them to rest.

“I really want to name him Ludwig,” Feliciano was still sure.

Ludwig sighed, slowly having to accept, wanting anything to please his mate. “I don’t know but…I guess…we still have some time left before he’s scheduled to come.” And suddenly Ludwig was pensive, his mind surely on worries, Feliciano had learn to tell.

“Do you have a name in mind?” He wondered.

“Aldrich,” Ludwig readily said, bringing Feliciano to a tense, his caresses stopping, nervous and fretting.

“I knew you wouldn’t want to.”

“No, no, no, I think it’s a very pretty name and having a son with it would be very lovely…it’s just that…”

“The person it reminds you of…I know,” he sighed.

“Well…Isabella is Isabella Augusta…I think it’s fair…but…can I ask why?” Feliciano truly wondered. He looked up to his mate expecting, but Ludwig remained still as if he hadn’t heard the question. “Ludwig…” he poked him playfully on the cheek, but Ludwig continued as reluctant. Feliciano sighed, “it’s about what’s going on back in Germany…isn’t it?” He guessed as much.

Ludwig had recently gotten a lot of calls from his brother and the rest of his cousins, always something that had Ludwig tired and deflected, taking sitting and not standing for several minutes until one of his kids asked for help in homework or just wanted him to join a pretend game.

“Ludwig…despite everything…you know you can tell me,” he soothingly let his fingers traverse across his stomach, laying sweetly against his chest, looking up to him, showing that very trust that Ludwig had so long ago placed entirely on.

He sighed, defeated then on saying it. “Opa…he’s…not doing well.” There was already an unmistakable hurt on his tone, his own soothing touches faltering.

“How…how so?” Feliciano made sure to thread carefully, not wanting to upset or hurt him much.

“Lowering defenses, his body is not accepting the medicine they’re giving him, so there’s nothing stopping the deteriorating of his body.” Feliciano felt him grip his hands underneath their hold.

“He’s dying, Feliciano…he’s dying…” was a harshness that he had to admit, had to release, a shivering in his tone that was rare for Feliciano to hear.

“The doctors are saying that they give him only a couple of months…he might be gone by November…around the time that this baby will be born.” Eyes watered, eyes gazing to the ceiling, trying hard to not let himself so much pain, but Feliciano welcomed it, running his hands gently over him, still willing to continue to listen and let Ludwig this outing.

“He’ll never get to meet him…he’ll never get to see any of our kids, he will never see this house that I worked so hard on, he won’t see what an amazing mate you have been, he won’t see how I grew…I won’t see him…I won’t be able to go to Germany, I can’t be with my family for this and all because I…because I…” the tears by now were shed well across his face, Feliciano leaning more into him, now with soothing hums and continuing the gentle caress that was enough for Ludwig to not fret the more.

“I was supposed to be the heir, I was the symbol of the next generation of Beilschmidts. Opa held me so high and I…ended up doing what I did,” he let himself sob, his grip now tighter, leaning more into Feliciano for that sooth.

“…I’m sorry…” Feliciano whispered, the same tears now arising in his eyes, always a destroy to see his mate like this. “I know…I know it was because you ended up choosing me and now…I’m so sorry…I’m so sorry that I’m making you feel like this, I’m so sorry that you had to miss your last years with your grandfather and that you lost…so, so, so much…”

They held each other tight, so much Ludwig wanted to say against, but in his given to this sorrow, he couldn’t even manage speaking properly in that instant.

“I love you, I love you. I’ve told you many times I would choose you even knowing this outcome…I just wish…he would have been more accepting to our family…and we didn’t have to hurt each other this way now.” By now Ludwig had fully turned to Feliciano, wrapping himself around him, his anchor, his relief and happiness never the less. “…I just wanted him to accept us…”

Ludwig ran out of words, the sorrow making him too tired to speak or give out more emotion. Feliciano understood, finally letting him that silence, simply laying his arms around him, soothing, starting the hum of a melody under his breath. Every now and then he would place gentle kisses, just the right magic to bring him into rest, if even the dried tears on his cheeks that Feliciano remained awake for, as if guarding they wouldn’t come back.

The baby was born a cold November 9, in the midst of the trees taking beautiful oranges and brown, everyone cozy in their autumn wear and this new baby was no exception. Feliciano held him tight, giving his own warmth to him, not having stopped laying kisses on his little head, covered in a beautiful puppy beanie, an orange blanket wrapped around him, calming him as to not fret, cry, resting, knowing it was safe in its omega father’s arms.

“He looks exactly like Ludwig did as a baby. I’m going to cry when I get to hold him. I’ll visit sometime next month!” Gilbert told them over the phone from Germany after Ludwig had sent some pictures.

Ludwig smiled, of course not leaving Feliciano’s side, taking constant and proud glances to his new son, so like him and already as dear as the rest of his children. They were currently back at home with Vash and Lili, Ludwig getting constant calls from them, mostly the kids wanting to know when they could come see their new brother, agitated, excited and begging.

“Have you decided on a name yet?” The nurse had come and each time, Ludwig and Feliciano were unsure, always asking for more time that they were respectful to give.

Upon the next morning, as soon as Feliciano had the baby returned, Ludwig had received a rather odd message:

‘Can you send me some new pics of the baby and some of the others too’ Gilbert had texted.

‘Why?’ Ludwig texted back.

‘Opa wants to see them.’

Ludwig had faltered, had weakened, the surreal so strong he thought he was going to let his phone fall.

‘Sure.’ He simply texted back.

“Lieben, do you have any pics of the kids in your phone?” He suddenly asked him, Feliciano playing with the baby boy, awake, curiously looking about the room and whatever games Feliciano presented.

“Oh! Yes! I have several! My phone is in the pink bag. How come?”

“Um…Gilbert wants some to…show Opa.”

There was a large glow of surprise in Feliciano’s eyes, yet quick, before he smiled in acceptance. “Send all you want, and don’t be afraid to take new ones of our little prince,” Feliciano coed as he brought the baby closer, Ludwig smiling as he went to get the phone.

He did so hurriedly, getting together a large file of pictures, ranging from some as Alessandro and Heinrich as babies, Analiese starting kindergarten, Isabella making some arts and craft, and of course, simple ones of this new nameless addition, cuddled, sleeping, only slight movement added as it seemed to reach for more of its omega father.

‘Dammit, Lud! My phone shut off!’ Gilbert had texted back at such a large amount of pictures, but afterwards, there was no reply, the thread in silence no matter how many times Ludwig checked. When he wasn’t on his phone, he was watching over his mate and new child, sometimes holding the infant himself while he chatted with Feliciano, other times joining in the coos and games, resting his head on Feliciano’s shoulder, even kissing him from time to time.

Many hours later, the late evening about to reach them, Ludwig received a call from Gilbert. He stood and took it at the other side of the room. For a long moment there was only but silence, Gilbert heavily breathing, clearly hurt and broken.

“He’s gone,” he finally admitted, a large inhale and surely a hand coming up to dry whatever tears dared fall.

Ludwig turned rigid, in its process like a cracking, something that Feliciano noticed even from afar.

“Just a…couple of minutes ago actually. I, with oma, mutti, onkel Marcellus, onkel Karl, and Roderich were with him…he asked about you, I…told him how you were doing, showed him all the pics you sent me…he…wanted me to talk about them, and I did, Roderich helped me out as well. We told him about how Alessandro plays football and Heinrich plays music, that they annoy each other like Roderich and I used to do as kids,” he stopped for a moment to laugh. “I told him about Analiese’s tea parties, how she likes to dress up and her crazy story ideas. I told him that Isabella is really smart, that she started walking and talking earlier than other kids, how she fixes things and packs a strong punch,” he laughed again, rubbing his arm as if he could still feel her little attack the last time he saw her…all because he said he was leaving without giving her a hug.

“Over our…new cutie,” Gilbert still could manage a smile, “we really couldn’t say much, of course, but I showed him all the pictures you sent.”

Longing silence as Gilbert still found it hard to speak, still needing time to gather words.

“He didn’t stop smiling the entire time we told him about how you guys were doing. I told him about the house, how you live in this beautiful Swiss valley and how you’re still madly in love with Feliciano and Feliciano with you…he said he could tell with all the kids you’re having.”

Even Ludwig had to chuckle, trying to find a holding that wouldn’t let him fall in utter melancholy.

“He told me the cutie looked a lot like you did…that he’s beautiful, that they’re all beautiful…that it would have been an honor to have met them…and that he’s sorry.”

Ludwig had to try hard to grip himself, to not sob in this call when it was important that he listened.

“He said…he should have learn to accept your decision long ago, that he shouldn’t have been blinded by pride and left you to deal with everything by yourself…that he should have been there to help, to see his great grandkids and give his blessings to your mate…I just wish he could have told this to you in person, and that you could still be allowed back in Germany…I still don’t think it’s fair enough.”

“It is to me,” Ludwig broke, in a rare sob that tumbled his tall build, shaking and reddened. Gilbert didn’t know what words to answer, but only hummed and soothed like in their childhood, caressing enough for Ludwig, who understood the distance currently. Even if all Gilbert heard were sobs and breaths, he remained to listen to it all and give whatever comforting word he could.

Feliciano stood, the baby boy being held well in his arms, being able to push his IVs with one hand occupied, sitting down beside Ludwig, cuddling, letting their new son lay between them, Ludwig, in between all, managing a strong hold to join Feliciano’s.

“Luddy, I’m sorry, but I have to go now. The doctors are asking for stuff. I’ll call you back in a moment. I’ll be here, I’ll be here. Stay with Feliciano and your son.” And the call was over, Ludwig letting the phone fall uselessly to the ground.

Feliciano wrapped around him, kissing his head and letting him show his emotions as freely as he wanted, letting him the complete hold of the infant, so small in his big strong arms, yet protected, belonging, his little light in this moment of darkness. Ludwig showed his gratitude by rocking him, kissing him constantly, Feliciano managing to smile.

A nurse had entered, clipboard in her hand which signified to both parents what she was coming for. “Oh…” she noticed Ludwig’s broken state. “I…came to ask if you had decided on a name yet, but I’ll head out and you can call us when you are decided.”

“Aldrich,” Feliciano declared despite.

It was surprising to both the nurse and Ludwig, the blond raising his head, for a singular moment the tears stopping and relaxation clear.

“Aldrich Ludwig Beilschmidt, please, if you can,” Feliciano insisted

“Of course!” The nurse smiled, writing it in the documents and officiating. She showed it to both the parents to make sure it was written correctly, and once she had their approval, she nodded and headed off to pass it to where it was necessary.

The parents were once again alone, still together, the baby still resting peacefully, but this time, as the tears continued, a smile managed to shine strong on Ludwig’s mouth, one Feliciano swooned at, kissing and caressing it.

“Aldrich,” Feliciano repeated in earnest, kissing the little boy’s head now as if to truly bless him with the name. Ludwig did his own by holding him ever tighter.

Despite not being so excited the first time they were told the news, Alessandro and Heinrich looked completely ecstatic in the picture of the day they came to pick up Aldrich. Analiese and Isabella were just as excited, the four of them holding together the baby right in front of the hospital. There was another picture taken of Aldrich around the time he was one year old, dressed like an angel in a professional setting, a confused expression on his face, surely wondering his surroundings at the time. Isabella had remembered how proud Feliciano had been to send that picture to their uncles and aunts for that Christmas, along with one of Alessandro and Heinrich dressed elegantly in star theme suits, Analiese as one of the three kings, and then Isabella…who had decided on being a stable animal, a donkey more specifically. At the time she had been so excited and had even fought her papa to do so, but now looking back…perhaps it wasn’t the best choice. She did look cute though.

“See, it wouldn’t be that difficult for us. We can all go!” Isabella switched the camera to Aldrich just as he had finished, all the books and articles he had printed from a kids’ site spread across the table, all having been used well in his explanation to his alpha father, sitting in the chair alongside him, covering his mouth to hide how he wanted to burst with loud laughter at the childishness but beauty of it all.

Ludwig had to really swallow it before he could remove his hands, his head coming to a conclusion with easy logic. “So, you really think it can take all nine of us?”

“Mhm! There’s space in the boats, planes and tents we have to stay in.”

“So do you think they can also fit our bags? The strollers? Snacks? Toys?”

“We don’t need to bring our toys!”

“So will you finally leave Bastian behind?”

One of Aldrich’s adored dog dolls, that still at nine years old was difficult for him to go anywhere without. There was a clear hesitation, silence as he thought it, going through the files as if they could give him an answer that could approve his plush friend’s coming.

“Those zoo cookies you really like are only available in Switzerland, and knowing you all, you’ll finish whatever bags we’ll bring in the first few days before we even arrive to Russia. Your papa won’t be able to make you stracciatella. We’ll have to get you all new coats-”

“It won’t be that cold! We’ve lived in the Swiss alps for years and can deal with it.”

“Aldrich, this is Russia, really north Russia. It get’s colder than our own blizzards.”

Aldrich already shivered, but a part of him continued to be strong, continued to believe.

“We’ll have to leave the dogs behind with a caretake. No, we won’t be able to bring any of them with us. You fight every time Isabella or Giovanna go into your room. In these tents, you’ll have to share an entire space with all of us. If Friedrich starts crying, you’ll hear it clearly for the entire night and there will be a lot of it. There’s a great chance the walruses won’t even be there, so we could be wasting hard days of travel.”

It was starting to seem hopeless, Aldrich falling more into his chair with each word.

“Aldrich, they have walruses in the Zurich zoo. We can plan a weekend to go there and even invite Alisa to come with us. I promise you it would be much easier and enjoyable for all of us,” Ludwig tried to persuade, but Aldrich yet remained sunken in his chair.

“I wanted to see…in their natural habitat,” his tone became much more tragic, a welling of tears.

“Aldrich, I already tried explaining, it-” The little boy was wailing by now, hands gripping, then smashing his head against the table. His cries began a crescendo each minute, Ludwig plainly sitting, nodding, letting Aldrich release what he needed to. After seven kids, he had learned well to deal with this. He was prepared to sit there until Aldrich stopped, gazing forward to Isabella with the camera hoping for some sort of aid.

The last shot was of Isabella running off before he could word out anything.

< Video 5.2

video 6 >

#Good Luck Friedrich #gerita #gerita fanfiction #gerita fanfic #gerita omegaverse #gerita fic

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proserpine-in-phases · 6 years

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@nachttour tagged me in a writing question thing!

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

uh yeah there’s like, several. some of them are better developed than other but a lot of the reason I’ve been holding off on writing them just comes down to feeling inadequate due to my own limited experience with relationships and feelings of complete inadequacy. it’s hard to write an epic romancu when I’m aromantic as fuck and have a hard time conceptualizing what those feelings might be like to experience, for example, or like, I want the story to be funny but I feel like I’m not actually a very funny person?

also I always feel like I need to do more research. I get stuck on the research phase about 85% of the time haha

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

man I am embarrassed by MYSELF existing, so idk probably all of it when you get right down to it

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

it seems to vary a bit. sometimes I just power through start to finish, but sometimes I need to write the ending first to remind myself of what I’m shooting for. sometimes I just gotta write some random scenes in the middle before I forget what they are and have to figure out where they’ll go later.

considering the longest thing I’ve managed to finish comes in at about 12 k I don’t know if I have enough data to really come up with a firm answer for this one though. from what I can tell, it really does seem like I start at the beginning and go for a bit, write the end, and try to connect the two with occasional random middle bits getting written out of order and a general feeling of “I’ll fix it in post” carrying me through

4) favorite character you’ve written

probably Samantha Traynor. she’s such a fucking nerd and I love her. it was surprisingly easy to write for her once I got started. at least I THINK I did a good job writing her, I have no actual idea haha

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

I’ve written TWO mass effect fics featuring Samara as a main character and I have no idea how this happened or why because she’s about in the middle when it comes to my most to least favorite mass effect characters list

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

there’s a couple of fics I wrote for fic exchanges that I kinda wish I could take back and turn into something else because I love the concept but feel guilty about idk, using as a springboard because the original is a gift, or something. it feels ehhhhhhhhh disingenuous to continue them when the gift is supposed to be a singular and self contained unit

for example, oh man I would love to take that vrisrezi space pirates au someplace, but I don’t know if I should because the fic itself is a gift, complete, and so forth.

plus I hate the way I run out of steam about 4 chapters into everything. I would like to not run out of motivation please

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

considering my output is so low I barely consider myself a writer at all tbh.

but yes, embarrassed. I hope to god the three people I know irl who follow me just like. never see those posts haha

8) favorite genre to write

space adventure! and lately? mysteries even though I have no FUCKING idea why or even how to write them, which is why I have at least three projects stalled out on me haha

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

I read a lot, mostly. sometimes I stare at a wall. or play minesweeper.

also when I’m doing something fairly mindless sometimes my mind wanders and I hit something.

oh and music. music is great

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

I usually need music, mood music preferable, instrumental so the lyrics don’t distract me. generally I prefer to not be around people when I write, though a public setting is also fun to write in. I’m too distractable to actually get any done though, so I usually end up just looking like a tool with their notebook out if I try to write in a coffee shop or whatever tho, haha

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

I think writing fanfic has really helped me figure out what it means to write in character. also I think I’m starting to get better at balancing dialogue versus narration? at least a little bit

12) your weaknesses as an author

the inability to actually finish shit.

unwillingness to approach emotions that make me feel uncomfortable.

the fact that I often approach writing a character with the thought of what I would do in a situation rather than what the character would do (which is why writing fanfiction is helping me with that haha)

coming up with plots that lend themselves well to longer stuff

13) your strengths as an author

pretty good at dialogue

when it comes to my own shit, pretty good at coming up with interesting fantasy worlds (I think they’re interesting at least)

I’ve got a pretty firm grasp overall just the nuts and bolts of writing: I mean I tutored English in college for fuck’s sake I know how to write a grammatically correct run on sentence when I want to

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

not really

15) why did you start writing?

I wanted to know what happened next

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

not really? I mean, there are specific character TYPES that’ll get me every time, though, like the happy go lucky person who has to learn what pain is but still come out the other side a LOT worse for wear but not completely broken (think Tasslehoff Burrfoot, or perhaps less obscure Vash the Stampede) but I wouldn’t say they haunt me, per say

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

don’t be afraid to be self indulgent. you’ll enjoy it more and who the fuck cares, anyway? people who’ll make fun of you for doing what you love are ass holes

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

If I’m honest I can’t really say what influences my writing style, if I even have one. Mostly all I can do is list off my favorite authors because I’m pretty sure they all have something to do with it.

so let’s just do that I guess. when I was a teenager I tended to find a single author and just read through all their works before moving on, and these are the big ones that stand out:

Connie Willis, Anne McCaffrey, Steven Brust and Ursula K. Le Guin. Connie Willis for the humor she includes in almost all her writing, Anne McCaffrey because I STILL spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about Pern. She had a real skill for coming up with both great characters and great settings, even if what she did with them, and also her inability to keep continuity were less good. Steven Brust introduced me to the idea of relating to morally reprehensible characters at an alarmingly young age. Ursula K. Le Guin, I just love her. No idea if it’s actually done anything GOOD to my writing but she gives me something to aspire to.

I read just. a ridiculous amount of fantasy and science fiction as a kid, the genres as a whole without a doubt influence the type of shit I end up writing. also in seventh grade I mainlined dragonlance, just the whole damn thing

later in college I got really into Margaret Atwood. her focus on female characters and narrative just is really great.

then I went through a depressive phase in my late 20s and just exclusively read Julia Quinn, Joanna Lindsey, Sabrina Jeffreys and Eloisa James, and that was IT. so I’m pretty sure my foray into the romance genre is what makes me honestly prefer povs limited to two or three characters hey, reading romance novels also lead me to the realization that I’m aromantic so \o/ I guess

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

I outline and then give up lol

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

little spurts until something grabs me and makes me marathon. usually that’s a deadline, but sometimes it’s also inspiration

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

mostly just holy shit I can’t believe I wrote this! sometimes that’s bad, sometimes it’s good. I can’t really tell if I’m good at divorcing myself from my writing enough to give me perspective on it, to tell the truth, because for a good lot of it, I still think it’s pretty good so ???

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

it’s hard for me to let a character be embarrassed by the dumb shit they do. I don’t want them to do dumb shit because of it, which makes it hard for the character to have shit to grow and learn from.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

I’m pretty sure my own issues with having and experiencing some emotions makes its way into the stuff I choose to write about, especially when it comes to the original stuff (I have. at LEAST three different plot outlines that involve characters literally losing the ability to experience emotions and having to find a way to heal or gain it back haha)

also the fic I wrote about the box ghost is literally just about what it’s like to work in a factory haha

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

listen.

yes.

I fucking. LOVE. research.

honestly this is the stage where I most often get lost in the weeds, distracted by my own need to know more

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

“He was not the knight Casey taught him to be, but he was close enough for government work“ remains the single best pun I’ve ever written

tagging: @anthropwashere @inktail @manicpixiesdreamdragon if you guys are up for it!

#meme #writing meme #questions about writing

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twsted-princess · 6 years

Text

Dreams Really Do Come True

(This a redo of my old one that I’m really proud of and I want to give it some love)

Another Princess of Hearts fanfic! Based off the wonderful post done by my dear friend @asa-de-ouro.

It was supposed to be another Saturday morning. I mean, it started normally. I woke up, brushed my teeth, checked my notifications on phone, went to my kitchen to make some tea. No one else besides my sister is up, just another day. That’s when it changed. As I went to the study my eyes focused on a oddly placed red button by the front door. There was something written by the button “Those whom you ship yourself with become real and are happy to see you , This includes those whom you shipped yourself with in the past”. Reading the note, my heart swelled at the thought, the idea of those who I adore with all of the heart being here in the world of reality, being with me and loving me unconditionally. My hand was hovering over the button, but my mind was racing. Maybe this is just some prank bro put out for. “But if that’s true, how does he know that I have fictional crushes? This could only be a sick joke.” My thoughts fought with each-other for a while until I finally decided. “If this is really a joke, let’s put to the test” I say to myself as I press the button.

Nothing happen….figures. I shouldn’t have gotten my hopes, it was my own wishful thinking. Disappointed with myself, I’m about to sit down at the seats in the kitchen when the doorbell ring. “It’s probably the mailman or something”, raising to get it, the teapot warming up the water is the background noise. I peek through the glass on the door connecting the porch to the outside, there’s what I can assume a head of grey hair and a brilliant pair of teal eyes. “No, that can’t be….” my body wanting to open the door while my brain tried to process the events. I opened the door and standing only a few steps away is Philip. His eyes met mine and he gave me a smile seeing only love and accomplishment, like I’m an oasis made by the gods. He kneels before me, placing a closed hand against his heart, I’m taken back and from his mouth “It’s been too long my princess” comes out.

“Is this really happening?” is all I’m thinking as he rises. We stand there for some time until he coughs, “So can I come it?” he speaks, his smile not leaving. Snapping at the trace, blushing at the fact that I standing there like a idiot “O-Of course.” comes out. I lead him to the living room where he sits in on the sofa. There’s an awkward silence on my part when the teapot signals it’s ready, “Uh…D-Do you want something to eat, or drink, or something?” I say nervous as all hell. “Not really.” he replies, his eyes not leaving mine for a second “W-Well, If you don’t mind I-I’m going to make some tea”. Speed-walking to the kitchen my mind is racing for answers “This has to be a joke. Yeah, that’s right. He’s just a professional cosplayer that paid to do this. He would never actually fall in love. I’m not pretty, or smart or anything worth loving. I’m annoying and stupid and AGH!”. As I’m pouring the tea and loathing myself for falling for the prank that my brother is probably laughing his ass over, I noticed that Philip is staring at something on the wall. Following his line of sight my eyes are now noticing that there’s a clock that was never there before. It’s counting down the time, 133:55, that’s weird. He sees that I’m focused on the clock when he chuckles, again snapping me out of my foolishness. “Don’t worry about the clock, I’m just waiting for the rest of the gang to show up” he turns to look me still in that adoring stare. “Wait! There’s more comin-” I can’t get the rest of the words out when the doorbell rings agains. “This is a dream” I say repeatedly to myself as I head to the door, opening it, my eyes laid more figures that I know more then anything. Kiyomasa Senji (Deadman Wonderland), Vash (Trigun), S-Sha (Hyperdimension Neptunia), Theodore (Persona 3) and tower above them was Blue Diamond (Steven Universe).

My brain is almost ready to explode when Philip comes up behind me, “Hey, guys! Nice to meet you finally!”. Vash two-finger salutes him, Blue Diamond waves while the others nod. They see me and they all smile with the same simile of love. “Well, don’t just stand there! Come on it, there’s tea if anyone wants some.” He said heading inside. They follow, passing by me, Diamond transforming herself into a smaller but still tall enough height. “It’s good to finally meet you” Senji spoke while passing me patting my head. The once fictional characters entering my house while I stand still trying to make out if this is real or fantasy. “I have to be dreaming, there’s literally no way this is actually happening...” going back inside I see that everyone has settled in and are now chatting. Gaining some confidence I clear my throat “Can anyone please explain to me what’s going on here?” everyone heads turn to face me “Am I just the willing participant in a elaborate joke?”. The questions hang in the air for a bit, “You can admit it, I know you’re doing this just to get a laugh…I don’t mind. You’re all just cosplaying those characters to get a reaction out of me about how stupid I am, aren’t you?” I added.“What are you talking about? We’re here cause you called us, isn’t that right?” Satan spoke up. “But, that’s impossible...you guys aren’t real.” I tried to explain as S-Sha walked up to me taking the hold on my hand. “We’re here to be with you, it’s that simple.” her voice was true and sounded genuine. She guided my hand to her sliver hair allowing me to feel. It’s was so soft, and I couldn’t feel and wig cap underneath. Again the doorbell rang.

“I’ll go get it.” Senji said as he rose from the seat. S-Sha sat me down and Blue Diamond got me my tea that I ignored. I took notice on the strange clock again it now reading 100:09. The door swung open and another bunch of the people I love walked into the living room. This time a group of ten. Their faces all too familiar to me as everyone greeted each other. The group would then come over to me, with hellos and how much they missed me like I’m a loved one they haven’t seen in a long time. My heart is beating so fast and I felt like I was going to pass out from all the attention. “Maybe this isn’t a dream after all.” I ponder the thought as I get up to make the new guests more comfortable. Making some tea and coffee, I offer the refreshments to them. Some take the offer while some recline. There’s chatter with laughter as stories are being told along with some lighthearted arguing, I stand against the wall enjoying the scene. Another ring from the door, rushing to get it, the clock changes to read 100:00. The next group of ten enters as I’m now greeted with hugs, head pats, even kisses on the hand and/or cheek. Some of them even brought gifts of flowers and even a small crown to me. The living room and kitchen are almost full so I direct the party to the garden outback the conversations continued outside. Soon enough, my parents and my older brother walk downstairs to witness the party at hand. All three of them are stumped speechless at the size of the group. “Oh! Morning you guys! I’ll explain everything later!” My simile is now slightly hurting but I couldn’t care less. This is a dream come true and I don’t want to wake up. My twin sister has now joined the party, having almost the amount of excitement as me. My parents don’t want to question the fact that we’re having the time of lives so my dad started to breakfest while my mom talks to guests. I pulled my brother to the side “Okay, so was this your plan for a joke or something?” I asked in all seriousness. “No! I have literally have no idea what’s going on!’ he said in total honestness. My eyes was against fall in the clock as another group invites themselves in. The time reads 80:15, the dots connect in my head. It’s counting down every single character I’ve had a crush on. I giggle at my own forgetfulness as i rejoins the party.

Everything is going smoothly as more of the people I love come through the door. Everyone is having a grand time. My parents are getting along with the guest, my sister looks like she’s going pass out from seeing fictional characters in real life while my brother is confused as fuck but is going along with her. The talking is pleasant and the food is almost done. I’ve talked to the loves of my life. Seeing them so happy and even loosen up a bit fills my heart with joy. I smile at the crowd, not wanting this moment to end. There’s a knock at the door “Coming!” I shout as my feet rush to the door. On my way to the door I see that wonderful clock counting down. 7, 6, 5… my steps matched the timing as my hand grip the knob 4, 3, 2… I open to the door and stare at Roronoa Zoro, my very first fictional crush. “It’s been forever, Melanie” are the only words he gets out as I leap into his arms. Hugging him with every fiber in my body I feel tears beginning to fell. He hugs back as the group see that the final guest is here at last. “This really isn’t a dream, is it?” I asked looking up at his face, our eyes locking. “Not at all” a warm grin spread across his lips. It’s just like the stories, dreams really do come true.

#my work #otp: Princess of Hearts #Please give this attention!!#It would really be appreciated!!!

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torisfeather · 7 years

Link

Also on AO3

It was in the middle of the morning. Kiku had gone out for some fresh air and, true to himself, had settled on a bench in the playground, in the shade of a tree, to read. Except…

"Kiku-chan!" Kiku looked up. Alfred smiled at him, a coke can in his hand. The Japanese boy couldn't open his mouth before he sat down next to him. "Wait… A biology book?!" the American exclaimed when he saw the cover. "Kiku-chan, it's Sunday, we've had like a week of lessons and you're already studying? Aren't you a little crazy?"

Kiku seemed a little uneasy and looked away. "I'm used to… starting early," he said hesitatingly.

"What the fuck…" Alfred said. "Well, whatever floats your boat. "He finished his coke and threw the empty can into the nearest trashcan, yelling "GOAL!" when it successfully disappeared into the black plastic bag. "So?"

"So what, Alfred?"

"Tell me! What did you do yesterday? Did you find yourself a club?"

Kiku stayed focused on his book and kept silent for a moment. "I joined the journalism club."

"… That's all?"

"Yes, why?"

Alfred breathed a sigh. Kiku couldn't tell if he looked rather disappointed or relieved. "How many are you? Two?"

"We're three."

Alfred snickered.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing, it's just a pretty ridiculous number of people for a club!"

"It's completely fine!" the Japanese said, slightly offended, before speaking up again. "How many are you in your student help club?"

"Six."

"That's not a lot either."

"It's more than three!"

Kiku let go of the issue. He wouldn't fight about such futile things. That a club had three or six members was about as important at the percentage of snow in August on the Mississippi River. He glanced at his friend, still laughing a little with that genuinely happy smile on his face. "You look happy that my club has so little people."

"Huh? Why would you think that?"

"A feeling."

Alfred scratched his head. "It doesn't really make me happy… I mean, it's not a real journal team, they only publish a few pages a month and there aren't even sexy pictures. Plus, they never tell about my HERO exploits, they just talk about things nobody cares about, it's not fair!"

"Oh, so it's grudge…"

"Wha…" Alfred seemed about to choke, his eyes exaggeratedly wide, wiggling without visible intent. "Absolutely not! A HERO never holds a grudge, unless there's a good reason!" He was so ridiculous Kiku let out a tiny laugh that he tried to hide behind his hand. Too late. Alfred noticed and gave him a large smile. "I knew you could actually laugh! You should try to do it more!"

"Huh…" Kiku hesitated for a while and then eventually chose not to answer.

"But about what we were saying… Journal club isn't the best to make friends."

"Hum? Why? Ludwig-san and Feliciano-kun are both quite friendly."

Alfred laughed again. "Ludwig? Friendly? Are you serious?"

Kiku thought for a moment and had to refrain from giggling again. "I have to admit it isn't exactly the best adjective to define him."

"No kidding? Plus two friends can't be enough."

"You know, Alfred, I believe it's better to have few solid friendships rather than many hazardous acquaintances."

Alfred looked at him like he was reflecting on his words. "Come again in English?"

Kiku had to refrain himself from face palming. "Quality is better than quantity."

"Oh, okay, you couldn't said that earlier!" The American started to laugh and Kiku just smiled. Alfred's good mood was contagious. Silence fell again between the two of them and Kiku went back to reading, thinking they were done. "So it's my HERO duty to help you in your quest for friendship!"

The black-haired boy sighed. "I assure you there is no need for this now, Alfred. I believe I can fit in just fine."

"But… You don't have a lot of friends and…"

"And I like it that way, thank you," Kiku interrupted a little sharply.

Alfred went quiet and looked at him with a sad little pout. "So you don't need me anymore?"

Kiku gave him a surprised look and smiled before his puppy eyes. They were probably about the same age but Alfred acted so much like a kid… "Why would you say that, Alfred? You are the one who told me we were friend, aren't you? It doesn't matter if you are helping me or not!"

The American's eyes sparkled and, without warning, Kiku was prisoner of a pair of arms seemingly trying to crush him. The Japanese felt his face go white, then red, started shaking, reflexively struggled, tried to calm down, observed the situation, put things in perspective and, finally, dared to put his own arms around Alfred's waist after making a lot of efforts to see this as normal for occidental culture. Give him a big hand, it was difficult but he finally managed to hug someone back!

He realized far too late that he had dropped his book. When Alfred let him go, he was too fast for him and grabbed the book instead of Kiku. But instead of giving it back, he looked at the page the Japanese boy was reading. "What's so interesting in th…?"

He stopped. His expression went from curiosity to surprise to amusement in a couple seconds. Kiku shrunk back into his seat, mortified. There, between the biology book's pages, he had slipped a doujinshi to use the studies as an excuse to read it. Alfred smirked at him. "So you know that technique too! I'd rather do that to read comics in class but hey, you do you…" He laughed loudly and turned the manga's pages. Kiku was as red as a poppy, trying to disappear into his own shirt. Alfred suddenly stopped laughing, squinting his eyes to take a closer look at the manga. "Kiku?"

"Y-yes, Alfred?"

"What is that guy doing with the… Wait, what is that thing? Is that a skewer?"

Kiku looked at the page he was talking about and blushed even more. He really didn't think he'd ever read this kind of stuff with someone else… Alfred was looking at him insistently, waiting for an answer. Kiku took a deep breath and whispered an explanation in his ear. Alfred blushed as well and winced but didn't seem too disgusted, much to the Japanese boy's relief.

"You read very weird stuff, dude," he commented as he took a look at the rest of the manga. He laughed several times, avoided a few pages that looked too "weird" for him and asked plenty of questions Kiku did not want to answer. After a couple minutes, he looked up and gave Kiku a look that was way too serious for his character. "Kiku… Don't tell me you're in the crazy-yaoists club?"

"Um… Let's not change the subject, Alfred…"

At the very beginning of PCD, that Monday morning, Luna had taken a few minutes to announce that their yearly September Ball would be held on next Saturday. She had watched as the students' eyes sparkled, as the girls started chirping about the kind of dress they absolutely had to wear, as the boys started talking about who they'd invite. She smiled fondly. Then the lesson began, like the week before, with an intensive tiring session. But as their last strengths left the kids, her mobile phone rang and she left the room to pick up. When she came back, she looked perturbed. Like divided between annoyance and worry. To the point where she actually didn't realize the students had all taken advantage of her being gone to take some rest. She started to give her instructions for the lesson, like nothing happened.

Everything went smoothly. Those who knew their powers gladly worked on them and the others, which meant Vash, Lily and Mei, spent the session watching horror movies, since the teacher was obviously too shaken to surprise them like last time When the bell rang the end of the lesson, Feliciano innocently asked Luna what was on her mind but she sent him off a little dryly, which didn't comfort the Italian boy.

Thankfully, the next day, she seemed to be back to her usual mood, so the problem might not have been that bad.

The first journalism club session was quite short as Ludwig had declared that the first week would be dedicated to finding interesting topics for the school newspaper. Since he was taking the small number of members and their inexperience into account, he had put the publishing date at the end of October so that they could produce quality articles. To make it short, the journal was composed of a front page article on which they had to cooperate, as well as several smaller topics they could manage separately. Ludwig was taking care, ever since he had joined the club, of the "practical advice" page, focusing on studying methods and health. Kiku had inherited the "criticism" page, which was actually to his liking. Lastly, Feliciano was in charge of the "school info" page. He just had to report whatever was happening in the school, which was akin to a simple rumor page.

Ludwig had then started a brainstorming to find a topic for the front page of their October edition. But with a pasta-obsessed boy and an otaku who would only submit very Japanese topics, the research was not going well. Because no, "pasta popularity by country" and "the ten best places to celebrate the hanami" were not suitable topics. He decided they would simply think about interesting topics for the rest of the week and pick one at random the next Monday.

Then Feliciano woke up and they had a snack while talking about September Ball.

On Wednesday afternoon, during free time, Gilbert put his plan to execution.

He had to do without any accomplices this time. Antonio had been kidnapped by Bella and Francis was in detention for "exhibitionism". Granted it wasn't socially accepted to go skinny dipping in the school's swimming pool during swimming practice but a detention for that… It's not like it was the first time, they should be used to it by now.

He was carefully walking through the empty corridors, making sure he was as silent as possible. Mostly because he didn't want to get caught, but also because, if he listened carefully, he could hear the discreet sound of footsteps following him since noon. He smirked as his destination came into view: the kitchen. Francis had told him it was completely empty between two and four in the afternoon. Cooking club didn't start until then, and the cleaning staff was long gone already. Gilbert stepped into the room, tip-toed further in, as if checking no one was there. Then came back and closed the door.

Now came the work part. The albino boy walked up to one of the many numbered cupboards in the room and started checking them, one by one. He found numerous interesting things, such as bags of ingredients with unpronounceable names or diversely shaped cake pans, until he found what he had been looking for: a bag of flour.

He walked back to the door with his loot but, instead of leaving, he just opened the bag and started spreading its content all over the kitchen floor, making sure he didn't leave a single clean space. For good measure, he threw the rest of it across the room, and watched the results unfold.

At first, nothing happened for several minutes. Gilbert was waiting, standing in a corner, but his idea seemed to have failed… Pfft, as if! He was awesome, all his ideas were consequently awesome, and thus had to work! Thankfully for the albino's ego, after a while, two footprints suddenly appeared. They quickly made their way towards the door. The mysterious stalker was running away once more. Gilbert had an impatient grin. The hunt had started.

He teleported in front of the wooden door. The footprints in the flour stopped suddenly and tried to take a few steps back to run in the opposite direction. Except whoever this invisible person was, they had forgotten a crucial detail: flour makes tiles very slippery.

A large white cloud raised in the air when the invisible person fell onto the ground. Gilbert jumped on the hole that fall had created in the white powder and kind of managed to restrain the spy by sitting on them. He felt them struggle but not manage to shake him off, which made him smile even more.

"Behold the way you were tricked by the awesome me!" An annoyed growl answered him as his prisoner slowly calmed down. It was almost like they were sulking, which made the albino laugh. "So, won't you show me your face, Birdie?"

A long moment of silence followed his question. Gilbert wondered if he had heard him well and wanted to repeat himself when, finally, his stalker slowly appeared. He could first see their blue student jacket form some sort of transparent veil above the tiles. Then their beige vest appeared underneath, then their white shirt. Their brown tie took a while to show up at his collar. Then he could see a pinkish neck, pretty blond locks, and the lines of a slightly chubby face, like a child's. His ruby-colored eyes traced their large, round jaw, their full lips and straight nose, and ended up diving deep into huge blue purplish eyes. He drew back a bit, taking in their half-annoyed half-sheepish face and decided, after taking a good look, that this boy was the cutest stalker he had ever seen.

He was very disappointed when the boy ended up not turning completely visible. He was staying in a transparent state which, although allowing to see his face, made it difficult to make out clearly his silhouette; he looked like a ghost. A very cute ghost.

After a while, he turned completely invisible again and Gilbert whined.

"I can't stay invisible for very long, it takes a lot of focus," the ghost explained in a voice as transparent as he was.

"What's your name, Birdy?" Gilbert asked.

"Matthew."

"Why are you following me?" Gilbert was determined to get the truth out of him.

Matthew hesitated for a few moment before answering. "I… I spy on problematic kids on the principles' behalf. I might have to tell them about what you did here."

Gilbert gave him, or at least looked at the spot where his head was before, a doubtful look. He was awesome enough to know a lie when he heard one, and Matthew had hesitated too much to be sincere. "And the real reason is?"

Matthew went quiet for a minute. "I'm looking for confidence," he finally said. Gilbert did not move, waiting for him to keep going. Matthew sighed and explained. "As you can see, it's pretty hard to notice me," he said. "I have a hard time being visible and everything I touch, from my clothes to Kumayolo…"

"Who?"

"Over there." Gilbert turned and noticed, further away, a white teddy bear sniffing the flour and sneezing quietly. Matthew had probably let go of it when he fell. "Anyway, everything I touch goes invisible too, so it doesn't help. Most people in the school don't know I exist, or forgot from not seeing me. S-so I try to get others to notice me but…" You could feel from his tone of voice that he was blushing. "I can't, I'm too silent," he said like it was a secret. He then stopped for a moment. Gilbert tilted his head, not getting where he was going. "So I followed you to try and understand how I could be noticed. I mean, you're one of the most famous kids in the school. The Bad Touch Trio, all that stuff. Everyone know your name, even if it isn't to say nice things about you. So I thought that, by observing you, I could learn to be the same. It's stupid, I know."

Gilbert gave him and incredulous look. Then dropped to his side, freeing the blond boy, and started laughing nervously. Matthew didn't move. The albino was guessing he hadn't told him the entire truth but he'd make do with his explanation for now. "So that's why you've been following me for weeks?!" he exclaimed, shaken by his uncontrolled laughter.

"Y-yeah?"

"Dude you should've just asked me right away, Birdie! You need awesome advice to become awesome!"

"Wha… Oh, ok, sorry…"

"Don't apologize! It just took longer than it should have, that's all!" Gilbert stood and reach out towards the space where he thought Matthew was. He felt his hand in his and pulled to help him up. He himself stayed visible, which meant Matthew's ability only affected objects. Kuma-what's-his-name was a teddy bear so, even if it moved, it still counted. "So, Birdie, in my awesome generosity, I will teach you everything you need to know to become almost as awesome as me! Kesese…"

"Um… Really, Gilbert, you don't have to bother…"

"Don't worry, Birdy! I was bored anyway!"

"Why are you calling me Birdy?"

Gilbert stopped and thought. "It's a nickname I used for you… I guess it stuck because… You're hard to catch, and you fly away as soon as I find you, like a little bird." Matthew didn't answer, Gilbert assumed that meant he liked the nickname. "Well, then. Lesson number 1, Birdy! When an awesome dude makes an awesome mess, he proudly faces the consequences. So we're going to leave the flour here and go before someone sees us…"

"Um… Aren't contradicting yourself right now?"

"No, why?"

"We could at least sweep the floor, there are people working here that have better to do than cleaning…"

"Yeah, but we also have better to do."

"But…"

"Second lesson, Birdy!"

"But…"

"Wanna go to September Ball with me?"

"But… What? What does this have to do with anything?"

"Well that's rule number 2! An awesome guy never goes to a party alone! So, Birdy? What do you say?"

"…"

"Birdy?"

"…"

"That's when you say 'Oh Gil'! I'd love to go to the party with you! When are you picking me up?' and you fall into my arms crying happy tears."

"Wh… Y…C… Y-y-you really think anyone'd do that?"

"You say that like it's a bad thing!"

There was another silence. One could almost hear the gears turning in the blond boy's head. "Ok, fine," he eventually said. "I'll go with you…"

"Yeah! That's cool, Birdy!"

"On one condition." Gilbert stopped. Matthew walked to a closet, opened it, took two brooms out and threw it to the albino. "We're going to sweep the kitchen."

Gilbert scratched his chin and pretended to think. "Blackmail, huh? Cool, I didn't even have to teach you lesson number 3!" He felt a light hit on his arm and laughed. "Feisty, aren't you, Birdy?" he said before starting to sweep the flour-covered floor.

The invisible blond boy was intriguing. He couldn't remember the last time someone had managed to make him clean up one of his shenanigans. But hey, it wasn't such a heavy price to finally have someone entering the party with him. Even someone invisible.

"The time is up, you can all stop."

Francis sat his pen down and checked the list of feelings he had detected among the students. Arthur let go of Carwin's hand and hurriedly put his gloves back on as the older boy kept talking with his Shadows. Yao blew off the tea light candle he was training with and was finally allowed away from the fire extinguishers. Eduar closed his laptop before Young Soo and Hyung Soo's attentive gazes. Gilbert went back to his human form after going through all the animals he could think of all morning. Antonio stopped playing with his force fields and Bella lowered herself as delicately as she could to the ground.

Luna was noting her observations on a notebook that she always had with her, as she watched from the corner of her eyes the fourth year students preparing to leave. She had a small smile as she noticed the progress some had made during the summer. Bella, for example, had been levitating for a whole hour without batting an eye, a new record. Unfortunately, others seemed still unable to progress…

Francis handed her his list and she let him go with a little "good job".

"For those with two powers, we'll work on them next week," she announced as she read. "Carwin, excellent work but remember to make sure you have control before summoning more. Eduar, good work, you can leave. Yong Soo, Hyung Soo, you'll do what you've seen next time, try working it during the week-end…" The students she called would listen what she had to say to them and then leave immediately with their stuff. That was how Luna's classes usually ended. "Bella, very good, I'm glad you practiced. We'll work on precision together. Antonio, Gilbert, you did well but stop playing during the class, you're here to work. Yao, Arthur, you both stay."

The two boys shared a look, slightly anxious. It also was common for her to keep one or two students to speak to them, but it wasn't usually to congratulate them… The rest of the class left the room, leaving the two students alone with the teacher. She went and sat at one of the tables that had been pushed against the wall and gestured at them to do the same. They complied, nervously.

"Who wants to start?" she asked with a firm voice that said yes, you are being scolded. The two boys shared another look and Arthur pointed at himself. Luna nodded and told Yao to go and wait in the projection room. He obeyed without a word, which only added to the heavy atmosphere that had settled. The English boy waited, uneasy, for her to start. "So? You still can't control it?" she asked with a troubled face.

"No, still can't."

"Still as powerful?"

"Yes, I believe it's even growing stronger…" She looked at him in the eyes, waiting for him to continue. "I made sure not to touch anyone outside of my family, don't worry. Although it's hard with that damn frog who uses all his time to spoil mine and keeps harassing me and…" Luna cleared her throat and Arthur realized he was rambling. "Yes, so, as I was saying, even with touching anybody, I feel like it's getting stronger. I can't explain it it's like… I don't know, drugs getting stronger without a change of dosage."

"It must be growth," she said almost to herself. "And you still can't calm the effects?"

"No, impossible," Arthur grumbled, pulling on his gloves and bringing the teacher's attention on them. "Are they new?" she asked.

"Um… yes, I lost last year's ones…"

"And you're wearing them already?"

Arthur didn't answer and blushed. Luna smiled and wanted to ruffle his hair, but remembered he didn't want to be touched. She stopped herself just in time, which the English boy was thankful for. "Don't worry, I know why you're wearing them. You know it's a permanent capacity, like Matthew's…"

"Sorry, who?"

"A second year student. You know, the invisible little guy? Alfred's brother?"

"Alfred has a brother?"

"Oh, whatever. So I was saying… yes, permanent capacity, so it's hard to control, but I am sure you'll manage in a few years. You just have to keep working on it."

"Yes, miss…"

She gave him a blinding smile and nodded at him to leave. She watched maliciously as he gathered his stuff. "One last thing!" she said before he could disappear though the PCD room's door. "I'm certain this power will be useful to you, so you might want to test it? Your little 'frog' seems rather receptive…"

Arthur almost choked as he glared at his teacher who burst into shimmering laughter and shooed him away, taking note of the redness that had appeared unexpectedly over his cheeks. Oh how she loved teasing the students about this!

She got up and went to open the projection room's door. It was Yao's turn to sit in front of her, as he obviously tried very hard to control himself. He probably thought she was going to scold him about his non-existent progress. He wasn't exactly wrong, but she didn't want him to have a new fit. She had to weight her words and to be tactful, while still telling him the truth. She took a few moments to think as the Chinese boy grew impatient. "Yao," she eventually said. "Don't worry, you work well, even if you are not progressing very fast. This is what I want to talk about."

She dangled the list Francis had written in front of his eyes. Next to his name, Yao could read Very tense since the beginning of the session, but that's not usual. Anxious and defensive. All of this has to do with his power + being confused about his feelings. Personal note: needs a hot bath with lavender oil and relaxing music. "Can't he mind his own business, aru…"

"He still needs to practice. If I'm correct, it was almost the same thing last year. And the one before that." Luna sat the paper down and gave him a beautiful smile. "Would you talk to me about this?"

"No, ma'am, sorry…" Yao looked away and bit his lip awkwardly.

"I already told you that, if you wanted to control yourself, you had to make peace with your emotions. I didn't tell you to force them away."

"I know, aru…"

"You need to understand, Yao, as long as you won't be calm during the exercises, you won't be able to progress and everything will stay erratic and unexpected. I know it's something difficult to do for someone with a past like yours, but we need to avoid putting others in danger. If you fight it, your power will fight you too, do you understand?"

"Yes, aru…"

"If you have trouble controlling them, it simply means you are not accepting your powers as a part of you. After three years of training, you should already be able to manipulate candle flame away from the fire extinguishers, you know? Same thing for…"

"Miss!" Luna stopped. Yao's face was red and his eyes glistening with tears. He couldn't listen, as always… "Miss…" he repeated, in a lower voice, trying very hard not to snap at her. "When I found out about this capacity you say is "part of me", I set my former school on fire, aru. Kids almost dies because of me, aru. And when I got here, I had to find out about some other curse that I had to live with, aru. So don't tell me these… things are part of me. I don't want to be a freak!"

"Yao. Calm down." Yao ignored her and started gathering his stuff. He did not want to talk about this, not now, not ever. He felt his pulse raise and was clever enough to sit back down and breathe, so he wouldn't illustrate what he had just explained. "Yao, rejecting your capacities won't make them less dangerous."

"I know, aru! Put I still can't accept them, aru!"

"Then you're in a dead-end."

He stood without answering and headed for the exit. He tried to think about something else, kittens, plush toys, flowers… Something cute and peaceful that could calm his thumping heart. He needed to get those problems out of his head.

Ivan was waiting at the door. Tâ mâ de!

He was alone. Which meant he had left his friends/scapegoats/servants/others to stay with him a while. Double tâ mâ de!

Yao could always pretend he didn't see him but it was pretty hard to say that to an almost seven feet tall guy standing right next to the door. Especially when the playground was empty because everyone was having lunch.

He could also try to dig a hole and bury himself alive so he would have to endure the Russian's presence and the very unpleasant his body tended to have in his presence. Right now, it seemed like the most enticing option. Unfortunately, there were material limits so he would have to choose another option…

"Yao-Yao~!" The Russian boy's playful voice interrupted him in the middle of his thoughts. Yao felt his large hands cover his shoulders and shivered. His heart started beating harder. He already wasn't very calm, but now the situation had gone from bothersome to dangerous. He started power walking towards the cafeteria like nothing was wrong, making sure he was breathing evenly. Ivan followed him.

"Sorry, Ivan, but I'm really not in the mood for anyone's company right now, aru," he said with a blank voice.

"Eh? Even though I waited for you all this time?"

Yao checked his watch. Classes really did end fifteen minutes ago. "You didn't have to, aru."

"But I wanted to be with my little Yao-Yao!"

The shivers increased. Bad omen. "Well I don't and that's it, aru! And stop it with the nickname!"

As only answer, Ivan caught up to him and closed his arms around him, slowing him down. He held him tight. "But Yao-Yao want to be with me too, da?"

Yao couldn't react immediately. He could feel the Russian boy's warm breath on his neck, the sweet scent of his scarf, the strange exchange of temperature between their bodies, through their uniforms, a surprising side-effect of their respective powers. Part of him wanted to hold onto that large back and accept the embrace. But the rest of him was freaking out at his heart going crazy, at the shivers increasing again, and at the ball of heat blossoming in the depths of his chest. He only hesitated for a second. He kicked the Russian in the legs, freeing himself, and ran as fast as he could to the closest bathroom. Once more, Ivan didn't chase after him. He just watched him go with a bitter eye, sighed and walked to the cafeteria. By himself. He'd have his chance anyway. He knew it when he saw him the first time. Yao would be his. But not like his friends. The Chinese boy would be completely and entirely his. Someday.

Locked in one of the stalls, curled on the toilet seat, Yao wanted to cry. He was breathing as deeply as he could, gripping the fabric of his pants to try and steady himself. Why? Why did he have to hide such a shameful thing? Why was this happening so often these days? Why couldn't he just have that kind of affection from Ivan? He knew he could be cruel when something wasn't to his liking. He knew he was probably a little mad. But he also knew how frighteningly nice he could be with him. With this sort of kind dominance that made his head spin all the time. He had been hiding for three years and controlling himself was getting more and more difficult every time his roommate tried to get close to him. Until when would he be able to keep it a secret?

All these questions weren't helping at all. His blood was boiling, the heat had claimed his entire body. His muscles and bones were a little sore, as always. There was nothing to do. He had to wait. Wait for his body to stop being a jerk.

He startled when he hear the bathroom door open. Slow and silent steps walked on the tiles and a pair of black flats stopped right in front of his booth. He heard three knocks on the panel but didn't move. "Occupied," he said with the most normal voice he could manage.

"I know, Yao. Let me in."

It was a woman's voice, low and calm. Yao recognized it immediately. He stood, trembling, and unlocked the door.

It was a woman in her forties. She was slender, and a little hunched but you could feel she had once been very tall. Her skin was dark and her hair was blond, a darker blond than her sister's. The long blue dress she wore was hardly hiding the weakness of her body. However her almond-shaped eyes were filled with colors, shimmering like stars.

Gaia came in, closed the door and held him close. No word was spoken. Yao let her, thankful. He even let a tear roll onto her shoulder. She just held him silently. She knew. She always seemed to know. "You don't have to be ashamed, you know…" she whispered.

Yao didn't answer. He knew that, if he was to open his mouth, he would start sobbing.

"I know you don't want anyone to know but nobody will judge you for being different. Because everyone is different here."

He shook his head. Her words felt so right and yet…

"You don't want to accept it. I know. The problem isn't about others. It's about yourself. Unfortunately, you'll soon have to accept yourself."

"When?"

"Soon." He wouldn't hear more. She probably didn't know about the details either. Little by little, he felt the heat leave his body. His heart had calmed down. Feeling this, Gaia stood back a little and looked at him straight in the eyes. She gave him a wonderful smile and played with his brown hair for a moment. "Better?" she asked.

He nodded. Without another word, she left the booth and started walking slowly towards the exit. "You don't leave your office very often," Yao commented.

"That's true," she said, still walking slowly. "But I cannot let my sister take care of everything by herself. And I've had more than enough of all the paper work."

"Do you need help to go back?"

She stopped and looked at him with a sad smile. "I can still go by myself, thank you. I am sick but not disabled yet."

He watched her leave. He felt a little lighter. Gaia was great at cheering her students up. She was always at the right place at the right moment and always knew what to say. With an appeased sigh, he headed back towards the cafeteria.

#my work #fanfiction #hetalia #ameripan #prucan #Crazy School #we get to meet the other co principle #gaia chrones

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