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soundofseventeen · 4 years

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Impulsive (Choi Seungcheol)

Hello! Long time no see eh? I meant to finish this a while ago but with the world I’ve had little motivation for things so. I finally finished tho! So here you are! 💛💚

You stood in front of the door, a mix of feelings in your heart. Part of you was thankful for the familiarity of this. The amount of times you stood outside of this door, feeling the butterflies and excitement as you knocked, even if those butterflies were different before. The other part of you kind of wanted to go throw up in the plants outside. What if he was still mad? What if he refused to see you? Still, you came all this way…

You took a deep breath, paused for a couple seconds to make sure you weren’t actually going to throw up, then knocked at on the door. Your heart started to pound as you heard movement on the other side, fighting every urge you had right now to run away. You even picked up your foot to start to go when the door opened, your eyes going to a pair of eyes you hadn’t seen in months.

Again, you were a mix of feelings. Disappointment that it wasn’t who you came for, but relief that it wasn’t him yet.

“Y-Y/N?!” Vernon said, blinking at you. He just stood frozen holding open the door, staring at you in shock. You couldn’t really blame him, it’s not like he or anyone had any idea you were coming. In fact, as of yesterday you didn’t even know you were doing this.

“...Hey.” You said, scratching the back of your head. Vernon kept staring, eventually shaking his head and stepping aside a bit.

“Uh, come in!” He said, letting out a strained laugh. You looked at him a second longer, Vernon shaking his head. “He’s not here, it’s just me and Seok and Chan. Everyone else went out today.” He explained, you nodding as you slowly walked into the apartment.

It looked exactly the same. There were new messes of course, but otherwise everything looked as it did when you were last here. That was again a comfort to you.

“I’m sorry I just… I wasn’t expecting you to be here.” Vernon said, shutting the door behind you as you walked in. “How… Uh, how are you?”

“I’m okay.” You said, looking around. “How-”

“Sol, who was at the door?” You heard, stopping as the two boys came down the hall, both freezing once they saw you. “Uh…”

“Y/N’s here.” Vernon said, the three boys communicating with their eyes, something you had actually gotten used to but it was weird to witness now.

“Wel-Welcome back!” Seokmin said, walking over to give you a hug. “When did you get to Seoul?” He asked as he stepped back, Chan also giving you a side hug.

“Uhm… About an hour ago.” You said, pulling on the sleeves of your hoodie. You were really starting to wish you had thought this through just a bit more.

“Where are you staying?” Chan asked, you blinking a bit. Man, you really should have thought this through more. You were never this impulsive.

“Oh uh… I was just going to see if one of my old friends had a couch for me to stay on.” You said, the boys nodding.

“We would offer but…”

“Yeah, I know.” You said, interrupting the boy.

“So, what brings you here?” Vernon asked, you looking at him.

“Uhm… I was… I was hoping to… I needed to… Honestly I’m not really sure.” You said, the boys exchanging looks again.

“Well here, come in. Do you want something to drink?” Vernon asked, leading you to the living area.

“Sol, are you sure that’s a good idea?” Chan asked quietly, Vernon shrugging.

“We have a few hours. They’re at the gym, remember?” Vernon whispered back, unfortunately loud enough that you still heard it.

“So, how was the comeback?” You asked, sitting on the couch, pulling your bag off and placing it on the floor. “You’ll have to forgive me, I uh… I haven’t listened to it yet.” You admitted, the boys nodding. That was partially a lie, you had started to watch the music video for the title track but had to stop because it hurt too much. You also had ordered a copy before all of this happened, which the universe seemed to punish you more as you got his photocard. You really hadn’t opened it since.

“It went well.” Seokmin said, nodding. “The vocal unit song will make you cry, but they always used to.” He grinned, you letting out a laugh.

“Can you blame me?” You said, patting his knee.

“You would also love the hip hop unit song! It’s very…” Seokmin trailed off, you nodding. Vernon just sighed, resting his chin on his hand.

“Look, Y/N, can you just tell us why-” Vernon started, freezing as the front door opened. The three boys all turned in the direction of the door, Chan quickly standing up and walking over to it.

“Shit.” He muttered, turning back to the room.

“Hello to you too.” You froze now, hearing his voice. “Chan, are you okay? What’s wrong?” He asked, you looking at Vernon panicked. The feeling of throwing up was coming back to you now.

“Nothing, n-nothing is wrong.” Chan said, leaning on the wall. “You’re back early?”

“My arm was hurting again, so I just did a half set today. My phone battery started to die so I just came home after that.” He explained, your panic growing as you heard footsteps being taken. “Seriously are you alright? You look sick.”

“I’m fine, really. Are you going to go take a shower? Like, right now?” Chan asked, you not hearing a response. “Good, okay.”

“...Why?”

“Uh… Nothing. I wanted to go out for dinner tonight. So if you shower now we can go sooner.” Chan said, chuckling a bit.

“...Okay. We can do that, I guess.” You heard, listening as the footsteps came again, but moving farther away. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine! Go shower! I’m just hungry.” Chan laughed, shooing him away. You listened as the footsteps faded away, eventually hearing a door open and shut and Chan exhaling.

“Y/N, I’m sorry but I think you need to go.” Vernon said, Chan and Seokmin nodding. You sighed, nodding your head.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. This was a terrible idea.” You muttered, standing up and walking towards Chan. Each of the boys gave you a quick hug, then ushered you to the door.

“Maybe while you’re here we can meet up to grab something to eat and catch up.” Seokmin offered, you nodding.

“That would be nice.” You said as Vernon opened the door again. “I don’t know how long I’ll be here but…” You stopped as you looked past Seokmin, seeing a new person standing there. The other boys looked back, freezing themselves. The five of you must have looked like sculptures.

“I… I thought you were taking a shower…” Chan said, a little scared to be the one to break the silence.

“My charger is out here.” Seungcheol said, eyes frozen on you.

“Cheol… We can explain…” Vernon started, only to be interrupted.

“What are you doing here.” He asked, you really wishing you had just thrown up in the plants out front before coming in.

“I… I…” You stuttered, losing every thought you had in your head before coming.

“You know what?” Vernon said, clapping his hands together. “I agree with Chan. I’m starving. Aren’t you Seok?” He asked Seokmin, who looked at him for a second before his eyes went wide and he nodded enthusiastically.

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m so hungry. I can’t wait any longer.” He said, Vernon nodding.

“Great, let’s go.” He said, grabbing Chan’s arm and pulling him out of the dorm, Seokmin following, mouthing a sorry to you before he shut the door, leaving you and Seungcheol alone. You both stood in silence for several seconds, and each second passing made you hate it more and more.

“Y/N, what are you doing here.” Seungcheol asked again, finally looking away from you. You looked down yourself, pulling on your sweatshirt sleeves again.

“I… I was hoping we could talk.” You said in a small voice, another thing you hated right now.

“You could have called.” He said, going to plug his phone into the wall.

“You wouldn’t have answered.” You countered, a small smile forming that quickly disappeared as Seungcheol’s expression didn’t change.

“You don’t know that.” You looked at him, a slight hope in your chest, but still no change of expression from him. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Um… You can go shower first.”

“Y/N.” He looked at you, you shaking your head.

“Really, I can wait. I’ll uh… I’ll just wait on the roof.”

“Y/N.” He said again, you shrugging.

“You’ll be more comfortable that way. I uh… I just wanna make sure the view is the same.” You joked, Seungcheol still staring at you.

“Fine.” He said, turning and walking down the hall, door shutting behind him as he entered his room. You sighed, smacking a hand to your head. You heard Seungcheol’s phone go off, seeing the screen light up on the counter. Another pang went through your heart as you saw his background, still a picture of you two at the beach, just shadows in the sunset linked together by your hands. You sighed, shaking your head before you walked towards the back door, quietly making your way to the roof.

You started to feel more at ease once you got a view of the city. This was always your favorite spot when you visited the boys. The sheer amount of hours you spent up here with them. With him. Your favorite was during the night, both of you curled up in a blanket, pointing out stars in the sky, bickering about whether one was actually a star or if it was just a plane. You suddenly regretted coming up here now, all the memories flooding back. Maybe things would have been different if you hadn’t gone home. If you had just stayed in Seoul…

You were lost enough in your thoughts that you didn’t notice when Seungcheol came up shortly later, leaning on the ledge with his hands in his hoodie pocket. You jumped lightly at the sudden person next to you, quickly recovering.

“I forgot how beautiful it was up here at sunset.” You commented, Seungcheol just sighing next to you.

“Y/N, why are you here.” He asked again, you sighing.

“To say I’m sorry.” Seungcheol looked at you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

“You bought a ticket to Seoul and flew all the way here to just say sorry?” Seungcheol asked, you nodding. “What are you sorry for, exactly?” He looked back out at the city, watching as the sun began to dip below the skyline.

“For how this ended.” Seungcheol stayed silent, looking out at the buildings. “When we ended things-”

“When you ended things.” He interrupted, you swallowing. He was still upset.

“...Right, when I ended things…” You said, chancing a glance at him, regretting your decision almost immediately. This was how you always liked to see him, fresh out of a shower. Not a trace of make up in sight, hair still slightly damp. Usually his gummy grin would appear, though you were positive you wouldn’t be graced with that tonight. You looked away before he could look back at you, pretty sure you wouldn’t stomach the hurt in his eyes, even if you were the person who put it there.

“When I ended things, I did it pretty abruptly. I didn’t really give you a chance to give your opinion and I just shut you out. I don’t even think I gave you a reason.” You muttered, Seungcheol taking a deep breath.

“You did not.” He said, scratching the back of his head.

“So I’m sorry.” You said. “I’m so sorry for doing that to you. I swear, this is not an attempt to win you back or get back together, I just… I needed you to know that I really didn’t mean to hurt you like this.”

“So you flew all the way here and I still don’t get to know what the hell I did wrong?” You looked at him now, stopping since he was already looking at you.

“You… You didn’t do anything wrong.” You said, Seungcheol just scoffing.

“Yeah, okay.”

“You didn’t!” You said, Seungcheol pushing off the ledge and walking away. “Seungcheol, you were the perfect boyfriend, I swear this isn’t because of you.”

“Then why, Y/N?” He turned to you. “I have been trying to figure this out since you hung up on me. I thought things were going great between us, and then you call me out of the blue and tell me that you want to break things off with me? What was I supposed to think?”

“That something was wrong with me!” You said, Seungcheol giving you a confused look.

“Why would I think that?” He asked, walking back towards you. “Y/N, you… Do you know how in love with you I was?” You felt your heart drop again. He said was. That means he definitely isn’t anymore. Which had to be good, since you weren’t here to win him back, but it still hurt.

“Seungcheol…”

“After that call, I was this close to getting on a plane and coming to see you to figure out what was going on.” He said, holding up his fingers for emphasis. “If it weren’t for my responsibilities here I would have. You had my heart and you broke it. And I want to know why.” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Was there someone else?”

“No, that wasn’t it!” You said, putting your head in your hands. “I swear, there wasn’t anyone else.”

“Did you just…” He started, looking down at the ground and taking a deep sigh. “Did you just fall out of love with me?”

“No.” You admitted, not able to look at him again.

“Then what the hell was it?”

“I was never going to be enough.” You whispered, Seungcheol looking at you again.

“What did you say?”

“I realized I was never going to be enough for you, okay?” You said, Seungcheol just blinking at you.

“What…” He took a step towards you, still stopping a decent distance away. “What do you mean?”

“Look, when I was here and we were together it was so perfect. Like it was a dream of a relationship. It was amazing. But we were in that bubble! That little bubble where everything is perfect and happy and you believe that maybe this will be the happily ever after.” You sighed, still looking at your feet. “But then I went home…”

“And the bubble burst.” He muttered.

“Yep. I know we talked about me coming back in a few months and getting a job here and whatnot, but once I got home… I realized how long that would be. How long we would have to be long distance. How… average I really was.” Seungcheol kept looking at you, you even snuck a glance to see his expression, but you couldn’t really read much from it. “I know it’s ridiculous now as I look back at it, but we don’t match at all. Did we seriously think that this was going to work long term? Eventually you would have realized it, so I just figured I’d beat you to the punch. So I’m sorry.” You said, wiping a small tear from your cheek. Great.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” Seungcheol eventually said, causing you to look up again. He wasn’t facing you anymore, now leaning on the railing again.

“I know.”

“I mean, you break my heart over a phone call, then you ghost me for 2 months, causing not only me but literally every other guy that lives here to worry about you. Now, you show up here out of the blue to say sorry?” He said, you sighing. “What were you expecting to happen here?”

“Nothing.” You replied, looking up in hopes of keeping the tears in your eyes there. “I was serious, this isn’t an attempt to get back together. That’s not fair to you. I just… I needed to say sorry.” Seungcheol put his hands over his eyes for a second, letting out another groan before turning around and facing you.

“How long are you in Seoul for.” He asked, you blinking at him.

“Uh…” You said, not prepared for that question. “I’m not… Sure yet. It was kind of a one way ticket.” Seungcheol furrowed his eyebrows at you, examining you. “The only round trip tickets weren’t for a couple days.”

“Where are you staying?” He asked, you looking down again.

“I was uh… I was gonna see if someone had a room for me, otherwise maybe a hostel or something.”

“You don’t have a place to stay?” Seungcheol asked, you shaking your head. “Well, where’s your stuff?”

You stared at him for a second, then down at the bag you had on. Seungcheol looked from you to the bag, then back at you. “That’s all you brought?”

“In a technical sense, yes.” You admitted, Seungcheol just blinking at you.

“You mean to tell me that you bought a one way ticket to Seoul, with no place to stay, none of your stuff, and no plan?”

“You always said I should be more impulsive.” You half joked as he put his face in his hands.

“Yeah, as in just buying a dessert instead of debating it for a half hour. Not flying across the world without thinking any of it through.” He sighed, looking back at you. “You didn’t even bring a toothbrush?”

“Oh!” You opened up your bag, pulling out the plastic container with the long brush inside. “That I brought.” Seungcheol stared at the toothbrush for a couple seconds, surprising you by letting out a laugh.

“You… You are so ridiculous. You know that, right? Absolutely ridiculous.” He said, shaking his head and looking back over the skyline. The sun was officially almost gone now, the lights only shining from the city itself. You put your toothbrush back, zipping your bag shut and walking over to lean with him. A couple feet away, but still doing it.

“Look, Cheol, I-”

“Do you know how much I missed you?” He said, you looking at him. “We both knew what we were getting into, knowing that eventually you had to go home. But it hurt. After you left, it hurt so much. The guys had to keep reminding me that I couldn’t invite you to come to practice or to hang out after or anything. Every time we talked, I got those first date butterflies. I really didn’t realize how bad it would be until you were actually gone.”

You blinked at Seungcheol, staring even as he refused to look at you.

“When you called that day, I was… So excited.” He said. “I had been looking forward to talking to you. You told me you needed to talk to me, and I literally cleared my plans for the evening so I could have enough time to talk to you about everything that had gone on since we last talked. Literally, the guys all went out to dinner that night so they didn’t have to see me talk to you.” He said, gesturing a hand back towards the dorm. “Then you called and it was over.”

“Cheol, I’m so sorry.”

“I didn’t tell them for a while.” He admitted, you looking at him again. “I couldn’t stay here alone so I went to the restaurant they were at. I just told them something came up and you couldn’t talk after all.”

“How…” You started to ask, wondering if you really want to know the answer. “How did they react?” Seungcheol sighed, leaning on his chin.

“Half and half.” He said. “Some were pissed about it. Some didn’t really say anything about it. Joshua said he called you but you weren’t answering for him either. I figured if you weren’t going to answer for him there was no way you would answer if I called.”

“I guessed that’s what he wanted to talk about.” You said, Seungcheol nodding.

“Yeah.” He said, taking another deep breath. “Look, I know-”

“S.Coups?!” You both heard, turning back to the dorm.

“I’m up here!” He called back, you looking back as you heard someone coming up.

“What are you doing up here? It’s starting to get cold… Oh, who’s…” You turned around as Mingyu came into view, stopping when he saw you.

“What’s up, Gyu?” Seungcheol asked as Mingyu looked between you two, confused.

“I uh… We’re back. I saw your phone but not you, so…” Mingyu said, looking at Seungcheol. Ah, more of that silent communication.

“Ah. Well, this is… This is kind of personal, so…?” Seungcheol said, nodding his head to the side.

“Right. Um. Okay. I’ll… See you later.” He gave you two one last look, heading back inside.

“He was one of the pissed ones, huh?” You said as Seungcheol leaned back on the railing, Seungcheol pursing his lips.

“Little bit.”

“Ah.” You said, nodding your head a bit. You pushed yourself off the railing, Seungcheol looking at you. “I uh… I should probably go. I think I’ve bothered you enough for one day.”

“You never bothered me, Y/N, you know that.” He muttered, you letting out a sigh.

“Still. It’s getting late. I should probably figure out my sleeping arrangements for the night.” You said, giving him a half smile. “Someone has to be in town, right?” You said, Seungcheol looking after you.

“Do you want me to give someone a call?” He asked, you raising an eyebrow. “They might believe it’s me calling rather than you right now.”

“Ah… That’s okay. I’ll just… send a few messages out quick.” You said, pulling out your phone, which had automatically connected to the wifi. You sent out a mass message to everyone you could in the area. You both waited in silence for a couple minutes before your phone started to ring, one of your friends calling you.

Once you explained the situation and hung up, you looked at Seungcheol.

“I uh… have a place to stay now.” You said, Seungcheol nodding.

“That’s good.” He said, looking at his feet kicking the ground.

“So… I’m going to head out.” You looking at him, nodding your head a bit. “Bye, then.” You turned to walk back into the dorm when Seungcheol was suddenly by you, a hand on your shoulder.

“Let me drive you there.”

“Cheol, you don’t-”

“Y/N, you have nothing, you’re severely jetlagged, and I’m willing to bet that you didn’t even think to exchange more money than it took to get here at the airport.” He said, raising his eyebrows at you. “Am I right?” You blinked at him, knowing damn well he was indeed right about that. You weren’t about to tell him that it happened to be the only money in your wallet though.

“I can find another way though, you don’t have to drive me.”

“Y/N, we both know it will be a lot faster if I do drive you. So come on.”

“Are you sure?” You asked, Seungcheol nodding.

“It’s either that or I’m leaving you here and going to dinner with the guys.” You both looked at each other for a couple seconds, then you let out a sigh.

“Fine.” You said, officially walking back into the dorm, Seungcheol following you.

You said a quick hello to the boys remaining in the dorm, all of which gave you similar reactions as the boys did when you arrived. You then went to wait in the hall while Seungcheol went to grab his keys, feeling awkward being around all of them. After a minute or two, Seungcheol opened the door, calling that he would be right back to the guys.

“Alright, let’s go.” He said, walking past you. You went to follow him, silently walking together to the car.

It was a mostly quiet ride to your friends house, you just looking around at the city as you drove. You really did miss being here. It felt nice to be back again. You glanced over at Seungcheol, who was silent as he drove.

“So how long do you think you’ll stay for?” He asked, noticing you looking at him.

“Uh… I’m not really sure. Probably at least a couple days. I guess I have to see when flights home are.” You replied, looking back out the window.

“Are uh…” Seungcheol cleared his throat, sighing. “Are you still thinking about possibly moving here?” You blinked a few times, not really expecting that.

“I… Haven’t really thought about it.” You admitted, Seungcheol nodding.

“I think you should.” You looked at him, confused. “I mean, you were really happy when you were here and you always got so excited when you talked about it.”

“Ah well… Things have changed since then.”

“Don’t use that as an excuse.” Seungcheol said. “If it’s still something you want to do, then you should do it, despite the bad decisions you have made.” You looked at him, seeing a small smile on his face.

“Maybe I’ll think about it.” You said, looking back out the window. “Maybe.”

“Good.” He said, letting out a sigh as he pulled in front of your friends building. He put the car in park and you both sat in silence for a bit.

“Uh. Thanks for the ride.” You finally said, looking at Seungcheol as he looked at you.

“No problem.”

“So… Bye, then.” You said, waving a hand and then opening the car door, getting out and shutting the door behind you. You let out another sigh, walking towards the building when you heard the door shutting again. You turned around and saw Seungcheol walking towards you, causing you to stop. “What’s-”

“Do you want to go get coffee or something?” You blinked at him a few times. “Not right now, but sometime this week maybe?”

“What?”

“Coffee. Or like, a bakery or something. Just to hang out and… Properly catch up.” He said, scratching the back of his head. He took a deep breath as you stared at him, looking at you. “As friends, at least. I don’t know, I just can’t end things like that.”

“Cheol, I don’t…” You started, Seungcheol putting up both hands.

“Just as friends. I swear. I think we can both agree for right now that would be better.” He grinned, you sighing.

“I guess I did say I would meet up with DK at some point while I was here so…” You said, giving him a small smile. To your surprise, Seungcheol gave you an actually grin.

“Then we can set it up.” He said, starting to walking backwards towards the car. “You’re… You’re not going to run away again, are you? Because I-”

“Cheol.” You said, causing him to pause. “I’m not going to do that to you again.”

“Are you sure?”

“I promise.” You said, Seungcheol nodding before pulling you into a tight hug. You quietly let your arms hug him back, you both standing there for a minute. Eventually, he let go of you, clearing his throat again.

“It’s getting late and I’m sure your friend is waiting for an explanation in there from you.”

“Yeah probably.” You said, waving a hand again as Seungcheol officially turned around, waving a hand.

“Y/N?” You looked at him again, Seungcheol giving you a small smile again. “It was… It was good to see you again.”

“Yeah, you too.” You replied, watching as he got in the car, waving one last time for you to go inside before driving off. You let out one last sigh, calling your friend to let them know you were there.

Maybe making impulsive choices weren’t too bad sometimes.

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sunny-flower-girl-01 · 4 years

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Ohana - A Hawaii-Five-0 fanfic Chapter One

Hey! So please let me know what you think! I have a plan for this story, but I'm not sure how frequent updates will be since school has started back and I won't have as much free time. Thank you so much!

I also have this published on Wattpad and AO3 if you’d like to check it out there! My wattpad has a small character description for both Thea and Nora that I will post later, but for now I will show you their faceclaims!

https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheUnknownSchuylerSister

https://www.wattpad.com/story/239804835-ohana

Thea Kenwood:

Nora Kenwood:

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Thea's POV-

I stared at the clock on the nightstand, watching 5:59 AM turn into 6:00 AM. I sighed as the alarm started blaring and sat up. I whacked the top of it to stop, almost knocking it completely off the nightstand. I caught it before it fell.

"Nice, Thea." I mumbled and walked into the bathroom to start my day. Normally, I would be ready to get up and get going but today wasn't going to be a typical day at the office. Today, I had to face a man I barely knew and tell him I'm pregnant with his child.

After a one night stand with a man that I met in a bar, who I later found out to be Steve McGarrett, the leader of the Five-0 Task Force that my best friend works with, 6 weeks later I learned that I was pregnant. And here I am at 12 weeks and I'm just now telling him. I took the whole day off from work to be able to meet up with him, go to the doctors, and run several more errands that have been neglected in the last month. I run through my mental checklist of the things I need to get done today as I started to brush my teeth.

'Breakfast with Steve, doctors appointment, grocery store, laundry, pay the bills, call Mindy, pharmacy-' A knock on the bathroom door interrupted my train of thought. I spit out my toothpaste and put my toothbrush back in its holder. I opened my bathroom door to see Nora, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in for a hug. I'm shocked she's up already, usually I have to go get her up. "Good morning baby. Did you sleep well?" I kissed the top of her head.

She nodded, burying her face in my small bump. She was over the moon about the baby. I had to come clean about the baby when I couldn't eat chicken because of the smell the whole first month of my pregnancy. Between that and the morning sickness, the 7-year-old was aware that something was up. Whenever it came to telling people I was pregnant, they would typically guess and ask me before I even had a chance to say anything. Mindy knew before I even knew. She went and bought me some tests and went to the doctor with me afterwards. She has been my biggest supporter through this whole thing. I just haven't told her who the father was yet. I felt like he needed to know before I tell anyone who knows him. When she asked me who the father was, I told her I would tell her after I told the father. She was skeptical but told me she understood my position and respected that I'd tell her when I was ready.

I ran my fingers through Nora's hair to get some of the knots out. "I'm sorry you have to get up this early, but I have an important meeting to get to. So, Aunt Mindy is going to take you to get some breakfast then drive you to school. Why don't you go get dressed and I'll braid your hair before we leave, okay?" She yawned and nodded again.

"Okay, mama." She mumbled and went back to her room. Nora was actually my sister, but after losing our mother when Nora was a baby and our father only popping in and out of my life- he hadn't been around at all since Nora was born- I became her legal guardian. I've been the only parent shes known her whole life, so somewhere in the last year she started calling me mama and I've never felt the need to correct her. I've never hidden the fact that I'm her sister from her. But she always tells me, "But you take care of me and love me like a mommy would." Our mother died when Nora was a few months old. I was 21, so the courts placed her in my custody after I proved I could provide for her. I was planning to start the adoption process soon but given my current situation that might have to be pushed back a little.

I quickly washed my face and put on a little bit of makeup. Once I finished that I ran my fingers through my hair to get the knots out. It was still curly from yesterday, so I didn't plan to waste the time it took to style it.

I threw on my clothes as Nora walked back into the room in her Sacred Heart school uniform. I was blessed with a smart girl who got a scholarship to Sacred Heart. Tuition was still a little out of my price range, but I wasn't about to deny her the education she would get there. I glanced at the clock as I brushed through her chocolate brown hair. 6:34 AM.

'26 minutes. You got this. You're not asking him for anything, you're just telling him you're pregnant with his child.'

"There. All done." I said as I tied off the end of the braid. "Alright, lets get our shoes on and hit the road."

It took fifteen minutes to drop Nora off at the diner with Mindy and get to the shrimp truck. When I finally called him yesterday and told him that it was urgent that we meet up, he sounded rushed. The only time he was able to meet was early this morning. Usually I'm just now getting up to get Nora and I ready for the day.

I went over to the truck and smiled at Kamekona. "Hey Kamekona."

"Hey lil Sista! What can I do for you and the little one this morning?" Kamekona picked up quick that I was pregnant when I came with Mindy for lunch three weeks ago. Three garlic plates all by myself. Now whenever I'm here, he packs me up an extra plate to take with me.

"Just a coconut water. I don't have much of an appetite this morning." I said, having him the money for my water.

After he handed me the bottle, I went and sat down at a table. I grew more and more nervous as the minutes passed. I glanced down at the watch I was wearing. 7:09. I figured he be late. His attitude over the phone yesterday told me that I was calling at a bad time. And the fact that the only time he could meet with me was 7 AM. I slowly sipped my water, trying to calm my stomach. After about 10 more minutes, I couldn't sit down anymore. I got up and paced around the dining area, kind of thankful that it wasn't too crowded yet.

"Woah lil Sista, what you burning a hole on my turf for?" Kame asked me, wiping down a table. I sighed.

"I'm just waiting for someone. I don't think they're going to show."

"Who you waiting on?"

I bit my lip. I know Kamekona is close with Five-0. At least that's what Mindy tells me. "Um, Steve McGarrett."

"McGarrett? Let me make a call, I'll have him here in no time." He started to walk back to the truck.

"No, no. Don't worry about it Kame, I'm sure he's just busy. I asked him to meet me here at the last minute. I'll catch him next time." I said, but I knew if I didn't tell him today, I probably wouldn't have the courage to tell him ever.

Kamekona didn't look too convinced, but he nodded. "At least let me get you a plate to take with you." He said. I laughed a little and nodded.

"That sounds great, thank you Kamekona." I said, going to sit back down.

"I'll bring it out when it's ready." He went back to the truck.

Not even 5 minutes later, the place was packed. Surfers coming before or after they're morning in the water. People stopping by before work.

"You said it was an emergency!" I heard a voice yell over the crowd and break me out of my train of thought. I looked up to find Kamekona, Steve, and Danny Williams standing in front of the truck. That's another thing that made me realize how small our world actually is. Danny is Grace's father, but I've only ever met Rachel.

'Oh god. Did he call him?'

"You got a young lady here waiting on you McGarrett." Kamekona said to him. "It ain't polite to make a lady wait."

"What? What do you mean someone is- Oh shit." He sighed and ran his hand over his face. He turned to look out into the crowd of people sitting and eating. I quickly turned my head, looking out into the water instead. But I could feel the eyes on me. I knew he spotted me.

'Get over it, you have to tell him. You have no choice.'

I sighed and sat up straight and turned my head to see him coming towards me. He looked angry. Great.

"Hi." I said softly as he sat down across from me.

"Sorry I'm late. I got held up at work." He said.

'You forgot.'

I shook my head. "No, it's fine. I called you at the last minute. I just really needed to see you in person."

He nodded, looking slightly confused still. "So, what's up?" He asked.

I was silent for a moment. I had ran through my head several times on how I was going to say this.

"First, I just want to say I'm not here to ask you for anything. You have a right to know so I just, uhh..." I was stumbling to find the words to say. Doing this in front of my mirror was a lot easier than doing this face to face. "I'm pregnant."

Steve was silent and just stared at me. I couldn't read the emotions in his face. Obviously he was shocked, but I couldn't tell if that was anger mixed in or not.

"You-You're what?" He stammered.

"I'm pregnant. And it's yours." I whispered, running my hand through my hair. I leaned my forehead into my palm. "I guess we both weren't thinking about protection when it happened."

"Are you sure it's mine?" He asked, running his hand over his face.

I was a little hurt that he would even ask me that, but we don't know each other. "Yes, I'm positive it's yours."

He just stared at me again. I opened my mouth to say something again about not asking him for anything.

"How long have you known? It's been a while since..." He trailed off. He had his elbows up on the table with his hands crossed. He leaned in closer to the table, probably attempting to make this conversation more private than it was out in the busy morning crowd.

I looked down at my own hands on the table. "About six weeks. I was already six weeks along so I'm at 12 weeks now."

"And you're just now telling me?" He looked disbelieved.

I shot a glare at him. "This is just as shocking for me as it is for you! So far this pregnancy has been nothing but miserable for me so I'm sorry if it took me some time to track you down and contact you."

He shot me a confused look. "Track me down?"

I scoffed and crossed my arms. "Well you didn't exactly tell me your name when you put me in the cab that night. I had to figure out who you were."

He was silent for a moment. "How did you figure out who I was?"

"Mindy. She showed me a picture of you and your team when you went to Side Streets one night. I recognized you instantly." I sighed and picked at a splinter of wood sticking up from the table. "I might have uh, gotten your personal cell number from her phone one night."

Steve shook his head. "Wait, you know Mindy Shaw? One of our medical examiner's?" I could see he was trying to connect the dots in his head.

I nodded. "Yeah, she's my best friend. We went to school together. Elementary through college. Small world, huh?" I laughed softly.

He smiled a little. "Yeah, no kidding."

"Kono and I also went to high school together. And your partners daughter and my sister are best friends." I leaned into the table and rubbed my eyes. "Jesus, this world is getting smaller and smaller."

"So, you know Danny?" He asked, looking back at his partner who was leaning up against the shrimp truck.

"No, we've never met. I've only met Rachel."

He nodded and it was silent between us again. He looked over to the water which gave me a moment to really look at him. He was attractive. Very attractive. Even more than I remember him being that night. But in my defense, a lot of tequila was involved. His dark hair and green eyes were absolutely gorgeous.

'Jesus Christ Thea.'

"Mindy doesn't know by the way." I finally spoke up. "I mean, she knows I'm pregnant, but she doesn't know who the father is. I told her I needed to tell him before I told anyone else. She doesn't know about that night either."

He nodded and looked over at me. "You said this pregnancy's been miserable for you so far. Is something wrong?" I could hear the concern in his voice. It made my heart flutter a little bit.

"No, no. Nothing wrong. The baby is completely fine. It's just, morning sickness for me is more like all day sickness." I smiled a little. "And the baby doesn't like most food right now but seems to already have an addiction to garlic shrimp." I laughed. As if on queue, Kamekona walked over with a to-go bag with two styrofoam containers in it.

"Here ya go sista!" He said and sat the bag down in front of me. I looked at the bag and then up at him.

"I thought we said just one plate, Kame?"

"You and the keiki need to eat! Gotta stay strong for the little ones." He said as he walked away.

Steve shook his head. "So Kamekona knows?" The frustration in his voice was clear. I rolled my eyes before I could stop myself. We were just having a good moment.

"He knows I'm pregnant, just not who the father is. He figured it out a few weeks ago when I was eating like I hadn't eaten in several days. Which wasn't completely untrue. For a while I couldn't keep much down."

Steve nodded. "I'm sorry, I'm just trying to wrap my head around it still." He ran his hand over his face again and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I probably don't need to ask you this but... You are planning on keeping it right?"

I just smiled softly at him. "Yeah... Yeah I am." I reached into my bag and pulled out the first ultrasound picture and a piece of paper that had my information written down, as well as the information for the doctors appointment that I had later today.

"Listen, like I said I'm not asking you for anything here. I just know what it's like to grow up without a father, so I thought you deserved to know." I slid the piece of paper and the picture across the table to him. "The choice is yours, but if you want to be involved, there's no coming in and out. You're either here or you aren't."

He picked up the two items and read the piece of paper. "You have an appointment today?"

I nodded, my hand going down to my bump as I thought about the ultrasound. "Yeah. If you're available you're more than welcome to be there. I know it's last minute and that this is all still a lot to take in so if you aren't ready then I understand. But again," I looked him in the eye. "There's no coming in and out. If you want to be there and be involved then do that. But popping in and out just when it's convenient for you is not going to happen. That's how I grew up and I won't allow our child to grow up like that either."

Steve went to say something but glanced down at the picture. I could tell by the look on his face he was speechless the same way I was when I first saw the picture up on the screen in the doctors office. He had a softer look on his face, something he hadn't had the whole time we've been sitting here.

"Crazy right? One picture and you feel like your heart might explode." I said.

Steve laughed a little and was interrupted by Danny calling his name.

"Steve! We gotta go, babe! We got a suspect!"

Steve looked back at his partner. "Alright!" He turned to me as he started to get up. "I'm sorry."

I shook my head and stood up too, grabbing my to-go bag. "It's fine. I have some errands to run before I head to my appointment. It's okay if you can't make it, really. I figure you guys are in the middle of a case."

He sighed. "Yeah... Yeah and it doesn't look like its ending soon either. Uh, I'm really going to try and make it. Even if I don't, can I call you later?"

I nodded and smiled at him. "Yeah, of course. You have my information so call or stop by anytime. There's still a lot we need to talk about." I said. I moved my hand over my bump, which Steve stared at the whole time.

"Steve!"

"Alright, Danny!" He shot back. But his eyes never left my stomach.

"You better get going." I laughed. I smiled at him again before I started to walk away. "I'll talk to you later."

Steve stood there and watched me walk back to my car.

"Hey, Neanderthal, we got a case!"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard you the first time."

#steve mcgarrett #Hawaii Five 0 #danny williams #danny danno williams #steve mcgarrett imagine #hawaii five o imagine #grace williams #chin ho kelly #kono kalakaua #rachel edwards #mindy shaw #hawaii #pregnancy

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johnismyreason · 4 years

Text

Play that little game // J Cody x Reader

First J Cody smut imagine ! This is pretty long, but I hope you’ll enjoy it.

Request from @enjoy-the-destruction : Can I request a hell smutty J Cody fic where he like finds the reader's vibrator (that he doesn't know about) and doesn't tell them until he's going down on them and decides to surprise them by using it on them.

Words: 3.9k (oops)

Warnings: SMUT, male masturbation, fem receiving, fingering, vibrator, dom kink (kinda). YOU MUST BE +18 TO READ IT.

Masterlist

Requests are still open and feed backs are always welcome ! :)

J and you have been together for a while now. Almost two years actually. Everything is going more than well. It’s the first that you feel this comfortable in a relationship. Your previous boyfriends were nice but, every time something was missing. Maybe you needed a little danger, like with J. You are so comfortable with him, you gave him the keys of your apartment. “It’s your home too now” you told him. J doesn’t show a lot his emotion usually, but this time you saw that he was truly happy. He kissed you again and again, more passionately each time. “Let the neighbors know daddy's home.” he joked, leading you to your bedroom as you laughed at his goofiness.

Today, J was out to clarify some business he has with his partners, and because Smurf asked him to fill some tasks. It’s around 4:30 in the afternoon when J drives back to your apartment to see you. He hasn’t seen you for a couple of days. He pulls to parking area at the bottom of your building, but doesn’t see your car. He takes the stairs to your flat and opens the door.

“Y/N ?” he calls, but the silence indicates him no one was home. J takes off his jacket and places it on the hanger next to the front door.

He started to wander in your apartment. It’s the first time he really pays attention to your decoration and how you arranged every room. It understands why he feels so much at home, it’s cozy, smells nice like you, and has a good light. Everything is tidy but without being too manic. He goes in the kitchen and sees a plate of your famous cookies. He grabs one and bites into it. He exhales a moan of pleasure, always surprised of how delicious your cookies are. He thanks you internally.

He continues his little trail in your apartment and arrives in your bedroom. His favourite room. The bed is made, nothing lies around, the air is fresh. J opens your dressing, and slides his fingers on your clothes. He takes a dress out that was hanging. You never wore this one. It was simple, but very pretty. Perfect for a date night. He imagines you wearing it and wonders why you never put it on, since you’d look absolutely stunning. Actually you could wear a plastic bag, and you will still be the most gorgeous woman he ever saw, he thought. J puts back your dress in your dressing, noticing himself to remind you to wear it on your next date.

J is about to close the doors when a box, hidden in the upper right corner catches his eyes. He places the cookie between his teeth to reach with both of his hands the intriguing box. It isn’t big or small and doesn’t have any description on it. He puts the box on your bed and bites on his cookie, before opening it. He gulps when he sees what’s in it.

“Holy shit” he mutters. J takes the object in his hand, dropping the cookie on the floor. It’s a clitorial vibrator. But not any vibrator. It’s the one every girl is talking about. He just didn’t know his girl would own one. “What a dirty little girl” he smirks. He imagines you spread on the bed, legs moving from the pleasure, moaning and eyes shut. He knows exactly the face you make when he makes you come, but wonders if you have the same when it’s the vibrator. He suddenly feels insecure. Why would you buy that ? Was he not enough ? Were you faking ? He shakes those ideas away. There is no chance you’re faking it. Not when you scream the way you do when your orgasm hits you. He actually knows why you bought it. It’s for all of the nights where he can’t be with you, when he has a job with his uncles. You must feel lonely and terribly nervous, so you need a little distraction. J wonders then if you moan his name when you use your little toy. All of those thoughts give him a semi.

J feels his phone buzz in his jeans back pocket removing him from his thoughts.

Y/N ❤️ is calling

J coughs a little laugh “speaking about the devil…” He mumbles before picking up the phone. “Hi, love”

“Hi, baby !” you respond with a cheerful voice. You’re always happy to hear or talk to him. “What are you doing ?”

“Oh just… chilling at your place” he answers analysing the vibrator in his hand.

“You’re at my place ?” you are surprised he’s there on his own. Usually you’re with him.

“Yeah, is that alright ?”

“Yeah, yeah sure ! I’m happy you spend time there on your own. Does it feel like home ?”

“It sure does !” he laughs a little. “Where are you baby ?”

“I just left the office” you say relieved your day was finally over.

“Great ! Do you want to go on a date with me tonight ?” J definitely has plans for you and that toy of yours, for tonight.

“Oh no tonight I can’t. Remember, I told you I’m out with the girls. Sam finally quit her lame ass job, we’re gonna celebrate !” you chuckle. “Tomorrow night ?”

“Oh yeah I forgot sorry. Yeah tomorrow night is perfect. I’ll stay at your place tonight, you’re okay with that ? Don’t feel forced to come home earlier, huh ?”

“Oh my god, yes please stay ! I’ll see you when I come home… a tiny bit drunk” you chuckle.

“Alright, baby. See you tonight then. Have fun with your friends and be safe.”

“I will ! I love you, bye !”. J just had time to tell you the same words before you hung up. He slides back his phone in his pocket before putting the box in its place.

He walks back in the living room and seats on the sofa to watch TV, but it feels weird without you cuddled up in his arms. He doesn’t really pay attention to what’s on the screen, still in shock of your dirty little secret. He starts to be hungry and decides to order a pizza. In the meantime, J decided to finish some homework for college. Only you knew he was attending classes. You were proud of him going to college because you know how smart J is, but also because you were the only one he truly trusts. He tries to focus on his papers but couldn’t find the energy. He’s picturing you playing with your pussy, fingers holding tight the sheets, your pretty mouth in the shape of an O escaping the prettiest sound he’s ever heard, your moans. Gosh, that dick won’t calm down, he thought. Thank god, the delivery guy knocked on the door. J pays for his pizza and went back on the sofa to watch TV. A double distraction should be enough to keep him from the naughty thought he’s having. It worked. Until he feels tired and goes to bed. He’s lying where you give yourself pleasure. The pillows smell like a mix of your shampoo and your perfume. He slides his hand under the pillows and his fingers meet your silk pajamas that smell like your body lotion. You’re everywhere. He turns again and again in the bed desperately trying to fall asleep, but he seems to never find a good position. He thinks of something, though. Something that could relax him.

He slowly moves his right hand south and palm his shaft through his shorts. Is he really going to do this ? If you do it on your own why can’t he ? So J slides his hand in and takes out his penis. He starts his motions slow to gradually go faster. His chest panting and his teeth biting his lower lips, the thought of you intoxicates him. Flashes of memories of sex session he has, pops under his eyelids help him to reach his peak of pleasure. How can you do this to him when you’re not even here ? He thrusts his hips and strokes his dick a few times more before finally cuming in a low grunt. Fuck, Y/N, he exhales, as if you were the one giving him a hand. He gets out of the bed to go clean himself in the bathroom. “I can’t wait to make you come, angel” he murmurs to himself when he comes back in the bed. Finally relaxed, J can sleep. He is so tired, he doesn’t hear you coming home at 2 in the morning. You already regret coming back so late, knowing that tomorrow will be so tiring at your job.

The next morning, J is up before you. You’re woken up by the smell of breakfast and a little hungover. You grunt trying to figure out on what planet you are. You finally manage to rise from the bed and drag you to the kitchen. J chuckles when he sees you arriving, hair all messed up.

“Hello sunshine” he says not too loud because he know your head must be bangging. He walks around the central islot, a pan with pancakes in his hand and a spatula in the other, and kissed you on the cheek.

“Is it Mars, here ? I think I travelled in space last night…” you scratch your head and try to rearrange your hair. J giggles and leads you to your seat. He then serves you the pancakes and hot coffee. “Here, eat and drink”

“No, no more drinking” you beg, your elbows on the table as your hands support your head.

“I swear this drink will do you good” he kissed the top of your head and sits next to you. You grunt and sip on your coffee. It does feel good. “So… I guess last night was good ?” he smiles.

“To good... “ you sigh “Gosh, I should have never drank so much…” you complain.

“You always say that, Y/N” he responds making fun of you.

“But it’s so much fun !” you laugh. “And you ? What did you do ?” you ask taking another sip.

“Me ?” he panics a little. “Oh uhm, nothing much. Ordered a pizza and watched TV.” And casually masturbate on your bed, he thinks for himself. “Is it still good for tonight ? You know, our date ?” he asks shyly, like it was the first time he asks you on a date. It makes you giggle. “Yeah of course ! What time ? I’ll leave from work earlier today.”

“Great, I’ll pick you up at 7, ok ?” You nod, excited to go out with your boyfriend. “I gotta go” he rises from his chair gobbling up the last remnants of his pancake. He kisses you tenderly while putting on his jacket. “See you tonight !” you say as he walks towards the exit, but stops before reaching the door.

“Oh” he turns around a finger on his lips “Wear the dress I put on your chair desk for tonight. Would you do that for me ?” he winks at you, sending you shivers. You nod without saying anything. “Thank you, doll” he smirks and leaves. When the door closes you run to your bedroom to see which dress he chose for you. It’s the first he asks you specifically to wear something. Usually you ask him which dress he prefers between two choices, or the color of your lipstick, your hair up or down,... So him choosing himself your dress is new. You love it, though. And you love it even more when you see his choice. It’s the dress you bought almost a year ago, at the end of summer. You never wore it because it was too cool outside. But since summer is slowly coming back and the weather warmer, you can finally wear it. You leave the dress on the chair and go to the bathroom to prepare yourself for your day. You take two pills to help you get over your hangover, and leave for work.

The day pass and you finally go home to get prepared for you night with J. You thought about it all day, not over the fact he chose your outfit. It’s a small gesture, but it meant a lot to you. You throw your shoes away when you enter your apartment and go directly to your bedroom. You play some music that matches your happy mood and get undressed to take a shower. Once cleaned and relaxed, you go back to your room to choose some nice lingerie. You know how those date nights end: you, back arched, moaning and screaming J’s name. You end up choosing a lacy red wine set. You admire your body in the mirror before slide in the dress. You keep your makeup simple and natural with a touch of color on your lips. Just when you finish fixing your hair you hear J entering your apartment calling your name.

“Y/N, I’m home !” gosh you love hearing this sentence.

“Bedroom !” you respond. He enters a few seconds later. You smooth the dress he chose and turn to him. He freezes, mesmerized by you. “So ? Do you like it ?” you smile, a little insecure.

“Why the fuck didn't you wear that dress earlier ? You look magnificent, love !” he gets closer to you while admiring you from top to bottom. He takes your face in his hands and kisses you lovingly. The heat rises between you two, and it takes all of J’s strength to back away from throwing you on the bed and start right now what has been in his mind since yesterday afternoon.

“Let’s go, baby. We’re gonna be late” he takes your hand in his and lead you outside to get in the car.

J doesn’t really like listen to the radio when you both are driving, or even when he’s alone. He likes listening to you telling how was your day, the last book you read or anything else, as long as he can hear your voice. Silences are comfortable. In these moments, J lays his hand on your thigh, caressing it with his thumb. Sometimes you take his hand in yours and place it on your mouth so you can smell it and feel his skin your lips. This time, he lets you talk about your night with your friends and how fucking hard it was to keep your eyes open at work.

You arrive at the restaurant. You never been here before.The inside is very romantic with soft lights and candles on tables. The waiter leads you to your table and J helps you sitting down.

“So first you choose my dress, then you bring me to this new restaurant, tell me what’s going on J Cody” you joke.

“Nothing, I just want to please my girl” he laughs. My girl. You always lose it when he calls you that, and he knows it. You’re his and he’s yours. You nod trying to hide your stupid smile. Dinner was delicious, now it was time to head back to your place. J teases you all the way home, squeezing and caressing your thigh, complimenting you “You look so fucking pretty, baby.” You giggle and blush, but you make sure to tease him back, by slipping your fingers on your collar bone, your chest and close to your already wet pussy. You barely pass your door and J immediately grabs you by the waist, pulling you closer to him so he can finally kiss you properly. His lips are moving fast, his hands all over your body. You let out a moan and he takes it as an opportunity to slip his tongue to play with yours. Your legs are already shaking from the pleasure J gives, you don’t know how you’re gonna last the whole night.

He leads you to your bedroom but nevers breaks the touches and kisses. He makes you two fall smoothly on the bed, that’s when he slides one of his hand underneath your dress to feel your demanding pussy. “So fucking wet already” you moan at his words and touch wanting more. “You’ve been driving me insane the whole night with your beauty and now I finally get to do whatever the fuck I want with you” you whimper some more arching your back as he pushes your panties to the side. However his doesn’t quite play with your clit. Instead he just ghosts it, making you pout and weep in despair. “J p-please…”

He chuckles mischievously “what do you want babygirl ?” you whimper and wriggle under his body so that your bodies connect even more. “use your words” he orders

“your fingers… on my pussy…” you manage to say between breaths. He executes you request, finally placing lighty his digit your pulsating clit. He slowly press it before drawing circles more and more faster. “Like that love ?” you nod ferociously “you like that mmh ? when I play with your clit with my expert fingers ?” he whispers in your ear and you moan loudly confirming his question. “You want them inside of you baby ?”

“Y-yes, please J, please” you begin to thrust your hips but he stops you forcing you to stay still with his other hand. “Don’t. Move.” he grunts. He stops touching your clit and removes his hand from your pussy.

“W-what are you doing ? I won’t move I-” he shushes you with a kiss

“Shhh… I know, I know baby. You’re a good girl. I have a surprise for you I need to grab it alright ? Close your eyes for me huh ?” he gets up and gets out of bed

“A surprise ?” you say excited like a child and confused as you do as he says. You lay back on the bed waiting for him to come back. Your heart is beating fast thinking of what J has in store for you. The man is so unpredictable, the surprise can be anything. He comes back at the bottom of the bed.

“Bend and spread your legs for me love” you do as he says even if your legs are shaking they can barely support themselves. WIthin a second you feel something vibrating on your clit earning from you a loud gasp, your eyes widening. You knew exactly what that vibration is. You rise on your elbows only to see J on his knee, holding your new clitorial vibrator and a machivielous smirk on his face.

“What the fuck, J ? Wh-where did you find that ?” you ask trying to sound serious and put together. It wasn’t an easy task since the vibrations of the toy were making you feel so good.

“I found it yesterday when I was exploring your apartment. I haven't stopped thinking about it since then and how you’d look when you use it to get you off. I wanted to see your face when your orgasm hits. So I’ve decided to play a little with all my toys: this one and you.” He accentuates the vibrations on the last word. You are caught in a spiral of embarrassment and pure pleasure. You hide your face in your hands.

“No, no, no babygirl…” he takes off your hands of your face and place a kiss in your palms “I want to see you. Don’t be embarrassed, love. It’s just me.” he trails kisses on your inner thigh until his lips are just millimeters above your hot core. You could feel his breath tickling your entrance. You moan leaving behind you any trace of shame. Yes, it’s just J.

“J I- fuck… I want your tongue” you cry.

“Yeah ? Where do you want it ? Here ?” he licks the zone just underneath the toy. “Or here ?” J fucks you with his tongue and you grab his hair. Both options are amazing but you prefer the first.

“Under the vibrator” you expire. He starts back his lickings, sucking on your skin. You can’t stop moaning and gasping profanities and his name, as if you were warding off a curse. Your free hand flies on your nipple to give an extra sensation.

“I think I’m gonna try something baby, tell me if it’s too much” he tells you before you feel two fingers entering you. You stop breathing and no sound can come out of your open mouth. It is too much. But fuck it feels so good. “You alright love ?” he worries, not hearing you anymore.

“Y-y-yeah… mmh J… fuck yes ! Don’t stop, please, fuck” you let out all the words that were previously stuck in your throat. He moans and chuckles against your pussy giving you an extra vibration.

“Do you like all of this honey ? mhm ? The toy, my fingers, my tongue” you whimper in affirmation. “You’re such a little slut. Fuck I love it.”

He works steadily on all the zones he’s giving you pleasure. He knows you by heart and that’s thank to you and him being vocal during sex. You always told each other what makes and doesn’t make you feel good. With time you both have learnt your lessons and attacked immediately each others different sensitive spots. When J masturbates you, he knows you like slow and steady at the beginning, and rough and fast by the end to reach your orgasm. He knows every reaction of your body, especially the one that tells him you’re close.

“J… I’m-” you still try to remind him

“I know, I know baby, I feel you” that’s when he starts to work his fingers faster and sets the vibrator on a higher level. You push his face even closer on your pussy and grind against it.

“Cum for me Y/N. Cum for me on my fingers, on my tongue and that little toy of yours. Show how much you love me. Cum. Now.” the wave of your orgasm hits you like a hurricane in which you drown. Your eyes roll to the back of your head and you try not to close your legs so you don’t crush his head. You scream again and again his name and curses as tears fill your eyes. He slowly stops everything to let you come to your senses. Your chest is panting fast like you just run a marathon. J leaves the toy on the side and checks on you to see if everything was okay. You open your eyes to see him suck the fingers he used on you. He then leans and trails a line of kisses from your tummy, to your sensitive nipple and your neck.

“How are you feeling ?” he whispers gently. How the hell does he do this ? Fucking you so hard you feel like you’re dying and then talking to you with the softest voice ever. “Was it too much ? Did I cross a line ?” he asks concerned. You take his face in your shaking hands, your fingers still clenched from holding the sheets so tight, and kiss him.

“I’m fine J. More than fine. I’m a little overwhelmed, but I’m alright. You didn’t cross a line.” you reassure him. He draws the sweetest smile and gives you back your kiss.

“Come on, let me clean you up”

“uh-uh” you stop him. “We’re not done yet” he frowns his brows with a wondering look. “Give me five minutes and we’re back at it.”

“But-” he tries to says something but you cut him.

“I still prefer your cock over this toy” you smirk. He smiles widely before kissing you.

“You’ll be the death of me Y/N”

#j cody #j cody x reader #animal kingdom #j cody smut #finn cole #michael gray #+18 #request #request smut #pope cody #deran cody #Craig cody #j cody imagine

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ukulelecal · 5 years

Text

Vlogger

In which you decide to make a little video for Calum while he’s on tour.

Warnings: just fluff my friends

Pairing: Calum Hood x Reader

Requested By: N/A

A/N: am i posting two imagines in one fucking night? wow who am i

Requests are OPEN!

*Gif not mine*

Continued

You wanted to do something special for Calum.

He had been on the road for almost two months, and you missed him like crazy. You texted, talked on the phone, and FaceTimed whenever you could, but it was hard considering time zone differences, him being incredibly busy all the time, and you having to go to work still.

You wracked your brain for ideas, wanting it to be the best possible thing you could create.

It came to you when you were out grocery shopping one day.

You could make him a little video. A day in the life type of thing, where you just filmed yourself going about your everyday life, making commentary. Kind of like those videos that YouTube vloggers make, just talking directly to Calum instead of a general audience. It was simple, just a little something to remind him of home. You knew he would love it.

So, a Saturday rolled around. You didn’t have work, or any plans for the day at all, really. You decided it would be a good day to film your video; you could just go with the flow and figure out your plans as you went.

You reached for your phone as soon as you woke up and opened the camera, flipping the screen towards you. Mentally channeling your inner vlogger, you started your video.

The day after you filmed, you turned to Google to learn how to edit videos. The task was a bit frustrating, trying to find the best parts to put in so it didn’t get too long or boring.

After it was all put together, you pasted the video into a new text to Calum, and hit send.

Calum was in an interview when he got the text. He checked his phone on the way back to the venue, which was a bit of a drive, and grinned to himself when he saw you sent him a video. Slipping his headphones from his bag, he plugged them in and put them over his ears, pressing play.

The first thing that came up was you, lying in bed. Your hair was a mess, face fresh, and Calum could tell you had just woken up. He also recognized the t-shirt you were wearing to be his, one you had hid from him before he left so he couldn’t take it on tour with him.

“Hey, Cal, it’s Y/N. I decided to make a little video for you, just going about my day and stuff, you know? Having tons of fun without you and all that. Just something for when you get homesick.”

The smile on Calum’s face was growing by the second, and he adjusted himself in the car seat so he was leaning his back between the end of the seat and the door.

The video cut to you rolling yourself out of bed, and then panned to Duke who was standing curiously by the bedroom door.

“Good morning, buddy,” you cooed, leaning down to pet him. “We’re making a video for Daddy today. Say hi to Daddy, Duke!”

The dog let out a bark, and you giggled, causing Calum’s heart to swell.

“How about some breakfast, yeah?”

You opened the bedroom door and Duke quickly scurried out, beating you down the stairs by a longshot. You met him there and opened up the fridge, camera showing all of the contents.

“I meant to get pancake mix at the store the other day. Totally forgot,” you commented, reaching for the carton of eggs. “An omelette will do.”

Cut to you attempting to balance your phone on the counter; you had a few glasses set up behind the device to keep it upright, and you carefully removed your hands. You pumped your fist in the air in victory, and Calum had to bite his lip to contain his smile. As you pulled out the pan to make your eggs in, you let out a yell.

“Alexa! Play 5 Seconds of Summer!”

Calum snorted as She Looks So Perfect started playing from the speakers, the boys all giving him confused looks. He ignored them, continuing to watch the video intently.

He wanted nothing more than to be with you; watching you sing and dance around in the kitchen wearing only a t-shirt while making breakfast, made him really ache for home. And he knew exactly what he would do if he was there. He would pick you up and spin you around until you squealed at him to put you down, and then he would kiss you, and you would lovingly card your fingers through his curls.

That sounded pretty fucking amazing.

“Youngblood! Say you want me, say you want me, out of your life!” You sang loudly as you transferred the completed omelette onto a plate, swaying your hips to the beat. The video then cut to you sitting at the island in the kitchen.

“Alright, I’m going to eat and get ready, and then figure what I’m going to do all day, I guess?” You quirked your eyebrow, shrugging to yourself. After a moment, you dramatically brought your hand to cover the camera, like the YouTubers do their fancy transitions, and then it cut back to you sitting in your car. You had a new outfit on, makeup and hair done.

“Okay, so I’m going to go to the mall for a while. I’m probably not going to buy anything, I just really want to go to Cinnabon,” you said, and Calum had to hold back a laugh. Every time you went to the mall together, you went to Cinnabon, without fail. It was a tradition.

You tried to set your phone up on the dashboard, succeeding for only a moment until it came tumbling down, a soft “god dammit” being heard from you as the device fell. You cut most of them out, but there were many failed attempts before you finally got it to stay balanced.

There were a few seconds of you driving, bobbing your head and doing little dances to whatever song was playing on the radio until you pulled into a parking spot at the mall.

“Here we are!”

The video cut to you inside the mall, starting to stroll around in front of all the stores. You eventually passed Victoria’s Secret, and Calum could hear you giggle.

“Look, it’s your favorite store.”

Calum took his bottom lip between his teeth. Whenever he’d go in there with you, he’d always complain that he was bored, but was secretly imagining you in all of the pretty lingerie. And, the best part, a trip to Victoria’s Secret usually lead to something even more fun at home.

You were suddenly inside the store, panning around all of the items. You stopped on a particularly beautiful set, and Calum could tell that it caught your eye. He knew you would like it just from looking at it himself. It was blood red lace with little black threads and embellishments.

You walked up to it, gently trailing your fingertips down the fabric.

“This is really pretty.”

You paused for a moment, as if thinking.

“Will I buy it? Find out when you get home.”

God, Calum really hoped you bought it.

The shot was now you walking into the food court, a soft grin on your face.

“I am so fucking excited for this Cinnabon, you don’t even know.”

Cut to you grabbing your food from the cashier, thanking them before turning away to find a table.

“It smells so good, I’m about to bust a nut.”

Calum had to hold back his laughter again as you took a seat at a table. The camera flipped so it was facing you, and you used your other hand to pop open the box.

“Oh damn, you are missing out, Hood.”

You showed the cinnamon roll that you bought, and Calum could practically taste it.

“Don’t know how I’m going to finish this. I usually split it with you.”

You paused a moment, your voice then getting softer.

“I really wish you were here so we could share.”

Calum wanted to cry, to fly his ass back to California so he could eat a damn cinnamon roll with you. You sighed softly, then sticking your fork in the food.

“Enough sap, I’m eating.”

The shot turned to you sticking a piece in your mouth, eyes fluttering shut in bliss.

“Good shit, I tell you.”

There was a few more seconds of you eating, making random comments, before you were suddenly back in your car.

“Alright, made a quick stop at the grocery store. Wanted pasta. As usual.”

Calum chuckled; of course. Pasta always seemed to be one of your go-to’s when you were deciding what to eat.

The video cut to you walking into yours and Calum’s house, the front door shutting behind you.

“Duke, Mommy’s home!”

The sound of little paws clicking against the floor sounded, and the little dog came into view. You bent over, scratching his head.

“Hey, want to go out, buddy?”

He yapped, immediately taking off towards the back door. You chuckled, dropping the grocery bag off in the kitchen before opening the door for Duke. He ran around, did his business, things that dogs do.

“Honestly, Cal? We have the best fucking dog ever.”

He smiled; his dog was his love, and it made it better that he got to share him with you.

You and Duke eventually went back inside, and one look at the clock made you realize it was about time you start making dinner.

“You’re probably sick of watching me cook and eat,” you mumbled as you again balanced your phone on the counter. “One more meal and I’m done.”

You yelled out for Alexa to play your playlist, specifically the one that you and Calum had playing in the house almost all of the time. The first song was Fallin’ All in You by Shawn Mendes, one of your personal favorites.

The video continued on; you made dinner and ate, played with Duke for a while, and the decided to call it an early night. You were now laying in bed, another one of Calum’s shirts adorning your body.

“Well, that was my little video for you,” you chuckled, smoothing the hair on top of your head. “It’s not much or anything, I just wanted to do something for you. And Cal, I really do miss you. Like, a lot. Today was a good day, but it would have been a million times better if you were here. I love you so much, bubba.”

Duke jumped into the shot, giving a lick to yourself, You giggled, pulling the dog closer to you.

“And Duke loves you too.”

You gave a wave to the camera, smiling sweetly.

“See you soon, Calum.”

With that, the video ended.

Calum was about to cry. It was an incredibly sweet gesture, and he was more than thankful to have you in his life.

He typed out a text to you.

Calum: You are amazing. I love you so much Y/N. So so much. I can’t wait to come back to you.

“What’s got you smiling like that, Cal?” Michael’s voice popped up, a smirk on his face. Calum shook his head, still looking at his phone.

“Just love my girl, that’s all.”

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hhunjins · 5 years

Text

Pairing: Jeongin x gender neutral reader (with best friend Jisung)

Genre: florist!au, fluff

Word Count: ~1,990

Warnings: none

Note: Happy Jeongin Day!! Late but better than never lmao

Summary: The first time you walked into the florist, you really did need flowers. The second, third, and forth times, however, were because you found something else more eye-catching than the plants you left with.

“Okay, okay, a bouquet of flowers. What kind?”

“Whatever looks nice. Hold on, I think she’s coming. I have to go–”

“How big should this bouquet be exactly?”

“Thanks, y/n, I’ll pay you back I promise!” Jisung whispers quickly into the phone.

“Wait–”

The line goes dead. You pull the phone from your ear and glare at the screen. Damn Jisung and his forgetful self. How do you even forget your one-year anniversary with your girlfriend? Only Jisung would.

You could be at home right now, eating chicken and catching up on your drama. Instead, you were out running errands for your best friend, who has to find a way to stall until you get to him with his girlfriend’s gifts. There’s a cake in your free hand, and you have to make sure that it doesn’t bump into anything as you weave through the streets to the florist shop on the corner.

There’s a bell that signals your entrance. The place doesn’t smell overwhelming, though it’s filled with a large assortment of flowers.

“Hello!”

You wander to the back, eyes never leaving all the different flowerpots that are set out on display. When you reach the register, you find yourself staring at something else instead. Or rather, someone.

“Hello, what can I arrange for you today?”

You can feel your jaw going slack at the way this guy smiles at you. He literally beams.

“Excuse me?” He tilts his head to the side, blinking confusedly. “Are you okay?”

“Oh! Yes, I need a bouquet of flowers.” You smile awkwardly, trying not to focus on how his head tilt is absolutely adorable.

“What’s the occasion?” he asks.

“An anniversary. I’m actually not so sure what he wants but it’s their first anniversary if that helps,” you say quickly.

He smiles, eyes crinkling at the corners. You really would have dropped the cake in your arms if you weren’t cradling it like a baby. “I’m Jeongin. I’ll be helping you today, if that’s alright. The owner’s out for lunch and I’m kind of a novice.”

“That’s fine,” you say.

“I’m guessing this is a last-minute gift?”

“Yeah, my best friend is really forgetful.”

Jeongin laughs. “I’ll try to be quick. I’m thinking of a mix of daisies, carnations, and roses.”

You nod at his words though nothing really sinks in. Instead, you’re struck by the way he hums to himself as he plucks the flowers out of their containers. He moves quickly, working surprisingly efficient for a novice, and within a few minutes, he’s wrapping them up for you.

It doesn’t even look like it’s been arranged by an amateur.

“That’ll be $25.”

You quickly pull out the money from your wallet. “Thank you, Jeongin.” You struggle to gather the bouquet into your arms and he smiles as he helps you with it.

“Come back again!” Jeongin waves, grinning from ear to ear.

Maybe you melted. Just a little.

“Thank you so much for saving me.” Jisung is clinging onto your arm and giving you cheeky smile as you walk down the streets. You want to smack it off his face because this was the same guy who complained about flowers being expensive after you told him the price. “They’re just going to die anyway!” he had complained, but after you said, “At least you still have a girlfriend,” he shut up. He’s lucky you’re in public.

“Are you going to pay me back now?” You hold out your hand and blink, stopping in your tracks. “$25 for the flowers, $20 for the cake, and $20 for effort.”

Jisung’s face scrunches up. “I’m already paying for lunch today. How about the great feeling of saving your best friend’s relationship as payment for effort?”

“Han Jisung, I will tell your girlfriend you forgot about your anniversary.”

Jisung’s mouth snaps shut. “Okay, fine.” His lower lip is jutted out in an indignant pout as he fishes through his pockets for his wallet. You’re waiting patiently, watching as his face morphs into one of confusion and then flushes red. “Umm. I may or may not have left my wallet at home?”

You don’t even know what to say so you bite the inside of your cheek and take a deep breath. “You were supposed to be treating me out,” you say.

“I’ll pay you back?” He flinches at your glare. “With interest?”

You let out a huff, pushing him away from you and continuing down the street to your original destination. You pass the bakery where you bought the cake for Jisung a few days ago and slow down to gauge the line before shaking your head when you see that there are only two people working and at least six people queuing up. Jisung’s trailing behind you like a lost puppy, trying to tug at your sleeve whenever he can but missing it every time.

You come to a complete halt, however, when you reach corner of the block and see Jeongin standing outside, fixing the display. Jisung bumps right into your back and peers over your shoulder to look at your face carefully when you don’t turn around to snap at him.

“Hello? Y/n?”

Jeongin glances over at Jisung’s loud voice and when he recognizes you, he breaks out in a smile, raising up a hand to wave. “Hi, are you back for more flowers?”

“No, sor–” Jisung begins to say but you step on his foot and he breaks off to let out a yelp instead.

You nod. “I want something for my living room. Could you arrange it for me again? His girlfriend loved the flowers.” You jerk your thumb at Jisung, who’s still hopping around while grabbing his toes. Jisung stops to look at you with a questioning gaze and you shoot him a glare.

Jeongin doesn’t seem to notice because he nods eagerly and wipes his hands on his apron. “Of course!”

Jisung looks completely done with you when you leave the florist with six yellow tulips in hand and a happy smile on your face. “You like him, don’t you?”

“Jeongin’s cute,” you say simply.

“There was no reason for you to buy flowers. You don’t even like flowers!”

“I like them now.” You’re still analyzing the petals and purposely not looking at him.

“Anyway, you two were totally flirting in there. Can you make yourself any more obvious?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you say flippantly but the blood rushing to your face and ears probably gives away your embarrassment. “We weren’t flirting.”

“He asked for your name and you nearly fell over,” Jisung deadpans. “Also, he looks at you with these weird eyes.”

“That doesn’t mean we were flirting though. And to reiterate, we weren’t.”

There’s a beat of silence as you walk slowly. “Are you really putting those in your living room?” Jisung asks.

“Where else would I put them?”

“Wow. You really just impulsively spent money on something you don’t even like to watch a dude put it together.”

“Han Jisung, you’re really getting on my nerves.”

“I don’t even think you can take care of flowers,” he continues.

“Jisung, I will seriously cut you off if you speak a word of this to anyone,” you hiss in reply.

It might have been the venom in your words or the fact that Jisung feared losing his best friend – it was probably the first – but Jisung mimes zipping his lips together and throwing away the key. “Not a word.”

You finally give him a smile. “Okay. Lunchtime.”

“But you like cute florist boy, don’t you?”

“Jisung!”

Jisung’s not right about many things, but he was right about the fact that you really couldn’t take care of flowers. The tulips died in about a week and the bright flowers that sat on the little coffee table in your tiny living room no longer lit up the place. So you were back at the florist, trying to convince yourself that you were there for flowers and totally not the cute guy who works there.

“You’re back again, y/n?”

You scratch at your hair sheepishly. “I’m really bad at taking care of flowers. Is there anything low maintenance that would still make my house not look so dead?”

Jeongin lets out a laugh, and you can feel your heart about to beat out of your chest. “Maybe we can try succulents. They’re easy to manage. Come, I’ll show you.”

Jisung’s not right about many things, but maybe he’s right about your affinity for cute florist boy.

You name the little succulent sitting on your desk “Innie.” It sits in a tiny pot shaped like a turtle. You totally didn’t name it after cute florist boy.

Like Jeongin said, they’re easy to manage, and it’s been a whole month since Innie came home and found its spot on your desk, right by the window. That means it’s been a month since you’ve seen Jeongin.

Okay, maybe it was a little weird to literally fall head over heels for cute florist boy whom you’ve seen less times than you can count on one hand, but that was beside the point. You really hope he doesn’t think you’re creepy, but if he did, would he wave goodbye with that adorable smile on his face and a call to come back soon? Probably not. But maybe you’re overthinking, wanting too much, and dreaming about things that really shouldn’t be thought.

There were a lot of “buts” in your train of thought, each one contradicting the last and leading nowhere.

“Oh! I was hoping you’d be back soon, but that would also mean the succulent didn’t work out.” Jeongin is grinning yet again, and your heart is doing somersaults in your chest. “Do you want to try a cactus?” he offers.

“Innie’s doing great. I’d like to check out a cactus though.”

“Innie?”

“Ah.” Your ears burn and you look away, choosing to stare at the rows of flowers instead. “The succulent.”

“You named the succulent after me?” Jeongin laughs. “I’m honored.”

“It wasn’t intentional, it was the first thing I thought of,” you mumble.

“Does that mean you were thinking of me, y/n?”

Jeongin’s voice sounds closer than it should, and you turn to find him standing in front of the counter instead of behind it like he usually is. He looks better up close, though it sounds really weird on a lot of levels. His eyes are brighter, smile a little wider, cheeks a little pinker. He looks soft and you want to reach out to pinch his cheeks, though that definitely sounds weird and will make him think you’re weird.

“Umm. You remember my name.” Your voice tilts upwards at the end, so it sounds more like a question than a statement. That was how flustered you felt. You clear your throat, not sure where to be looking now that he was holding eye contact with you with a smile so bright, he could put the sun out of business.

“Of course! You’re my favorite customer. Also, I’ll take that as a yes.” Jeongin gives you a cheeky wink. “Okay, to the cacti!”

That was how you ended up with Ji, named after Jisung for being a prickly, tiny thing, but you’d never tell him that. Jeongin is still smiling – you wonder how his facial muscles put up with it all – as he rings you up. But instead of simply ripping off the receipt and handing it to you, he disappears from view for a moment as he ducks under the counter to grab a pen. “It’s only if you want to. No pressure, alright?” Ignoring the questioning look you give him, Jeongin hands you the folded receipt and somehow smiles even wider. “Come back soon! Take care of Ji!”

When you leave the florist and open up the receipt to glance it over, you know the meaning behind his words.

“Lunch next week? Text me,” it reads.

#jeongin #yang jeongin #i.n.#stray kids jeongin #stray kids i.n.#jeongin scenarios #jeongin imagines #i.n. scenarios #i.n. imagines #stray kids imagine #stray kids scenarios #stray kids #fluff

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pug-bitch · 5 years

Text

That’s not why I’m going (7)

I’m naked and I’m far from home

Book: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Drake Walker x Amara Suarez

Rating: some foul language, some extremely suggestive, and, most importantly, an interrupted 30-diamond scene! :) This is not appropriate for people under 18.

Word count: 3,772 (I put a Read More after a couple of paragraphs because it was getting really long, if you can’t see the rest of the post, please let me know! I’m getting out of control, I feel like the chapters are gonna be longer and longer...)

Notes: This picks up right where we left off, with Amara’s POV. This chapter is longer than the others, so bear with me :)

*****

‘Hey Suarez!’

Amara couldn’t believe he had arrived so quickly. Sure, he was right next door, but she didn’t expect him to be at her disposal, either.

‘Come on in!’ She says with a smile.

‘So...I thought we’d mix it up and have some wine for once,’ Drake says while holding out a bottle of red and two glasses.

‘Wow, I didn’t know that you were into anything else than whiskey.’

‘I guess I’m full of surprises.’

She had closed the door behind them and was torn between hugging or kissing him hello. What would be the least weird? Damn, she was in her head.

‘Jeez Suarez, that’s a lot of candy.’

‘Yeah...Maxwell took me to a store and I went slightly overboard. I don’t have any formal plans tonight and didn’t want anything fancy to eat, but this may be a bit too much…’

‘Definitely is. Can we open the Swedish fish?’

Amara happily complies, and hands the bag to Drake. ‘Do you know Madeleine?’

‘Madeleine of Fydelia? Yeah, why?’

‘She joined the competition today. Here, let me open the wine.’

‘Wow, that’s insane. How do you feel about it?’

Shit, she thought. She didn’t want him to think she cares about the competition. She had just intended to gossip, and maybe find out more about Liam’s intentions towards Olivia and Hana, more so than towards herself.

‘I personally don’t have any feelings about it, y’know. Besides the fact that she called me ‘exotic’ today.’

Drake raises his eyebrows. ‘She’s a dick.’

‘Well yeah, that’s the feeling I have. I was actually quite comfortable with the other ladies, even though Kiara is still super cold to me. But now, I feel like the dynamics are gonna be weird.’

‘Honestly, probably. Madeleine is a sneaky person. She is not upfront like Olivia, whom you can see coming from a mile away. Madeleine is tricky, and I can’t imagine Liam being thrilled about her entering the competition.’

Amara nods, sipping on her wine. Drake bringing this bottle was a lovely gesture, but it wasn’t gonna do anything to help her budding alcohol problem.

‘Thanks for the wine, it’s delicious. I have to admit I’m already kinda drunk.’

Drake smiles softly. ‘Oh really? Did you go out?’

‘Yeah, Olivia, Hana, Maxwell and I went to a cocktail bar just outside the palace. It was nice to escape all the courtly duties, you know. I wish I could do that more often.’

‘You can. You just need the right people to show you around,’ Drake replies with a mischievous grin.

‘Oh, do I now?’

He just kept on smiling, without breaking eye contact. God, he was attractive. Something in her stomach flipped.

‘Oh, I bought chips, too. Let me get them--’

He didn’t give her time to get to the chips. He put his hand on her arm, turning her over to face him, and before she could realize what they were doing, their lips met. She had been thinking about kissing him all day, she had been daydreaming throughout the whole picnic, imagining his lips on hers, the way his tongue felt on her tongue.

They part ways, breathless. Drake’s hands are still on her waist, holding her. ‘I’ve been thinking about you all day. Sorry if that was abrupt.’

She chuckles. No, it wasn’t abrupt, it was perfect and also, fucking hot. ‘I’ve been thinking about you too.’

He smiles. ‘I’ve had the hardest time not texting you all day, but I figured I’d look too pathetic.’

‘Never. You can text as much as you want.’ She looks deep in his dark, kind eyes. ‘I’m glad you came.’

She kisses him again, deeper this time, so deep in fact that she has trouble remaining straight on her feet. He catches her lips between his, kissing her deeper, his hands roaming on her back and in her hair. God, she wants him.

She guides him to the bed, lips still captured in a kiss, but he surprises her by pushing her against the wall. He starts kissing her neck, and then lower and lower. She lets out a moan as his hands wander under her T-shirt. ‘Mmmm… don’t stop…’

Drake gently pulls her shirt over her head, and keeps leaving a trail of kisses between her mouth and her breasts. He expertly unhooks her bra. Wow, she thinks. How many men can do this without looking? Just thinking about what else his hands could do sends her into a trance. He grabs her as if she weighs nothing, and guides her to the bed. He gets on top of her and peels her bra off of her.

As Drake tends to her breasts, kissing, sucking, touching them, Amara starts stroking him through his pants. Damn, she thinks, he’s big. Her head spins. She hasn’t had sex in so long, over two years, that so much hotness all at once might make her brain and body malfunction. But still, she wants him.

She unzips his jeans and frees his rock hard cock from his boxers, as Drake lets out a deep groan. ‘Ohh, shit, Amara, this feels good…’ She takes his cock in her hand and strokes it slowly, watching his face twist with pleasure.

As he kisses her deeper, and presses his erect penis against her, she hears a knock.

‘Amara? Are you in here?’

They both stop dead in their tracks, still enmeshed in each other. ‘It’s Maxwell,’ Amara whispers.

‘Shit,’ Drake replies softly. ‘He’s not gonna leave until you open.’

‘Wait a minute, Max, I’m...naked!’ Amara shouts.

Well, she kinda was.

‘Oh, no problem, take your time!’ Maxwell replies.

She and Drake both fumble around to get their clothes back on, and Amara silently gestures for Drake to get inside the bathroom. He nods and complies.

‘Hey Max,’ says Amara while opening the door, still flush from the incredibly steamy situation her friend just interrupted.

‘Hey hun, you look super out of breath, are you ok?’

‘Oh yeah, I was just getting out of my formal dress and into these jeans. It’s a workout just to get them on, they’re really tight.’

Maxwell smiles, glancing over to the room behind her, probably wondering why she’s not letting him in. ‘I realized I held on to some of your candy by mistake! So, here it is!’ He hands a bag of mini Twix and one of Crunch.

‘Oh my God, I completely forgot you were holding my bag, thanks Maxwell!’

‘You’re welcome. Whatcha up to?’

‘Oh, nothing, just about to watch a movie. I was actually getting ready for bed.’

Maxwell stares at her jeans, realizing this is obviously not sleepwear. ‘It’s 8pm, are you sure you’re ok?’

‘Yeah, I just wanted some peace and quiet, you know. I know in a couple of days we’re heading to Olivia’s neck of the woods, and I want to be well rested.’

‘That’s wise. Well, if you need me, call, text, or...knock, ok?’

She nods, gives him a quick hug, which she instantly regrets, because she smells like Drake and unfulfilled sexual tension.

As soon as the door closes, Drake carefully peeks his head out of the bathroom.

‘Is it safe to come out?’ he whispers.

‘Yeah. I’m so sorry about that, Drake. It was--’

‘Hey,’ he interrupts, ‘don’t apologize. As much as I wanted to continue what we started, um…’ he runs a hand through his hair, visibly searching for words. ‘Maybe we can take it slow? I don’t mean we can’t...but maybe, you know, just for tonight, I can take you outside of the Capital and we can attempt at a normal evening out?’

She smiles earnestly. She, too, would have liked to continue what they had started. But Maxwell’s interruption had put a damper on things, and she didn’t want Drake to think that she was too casual about sex. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but she really wasn’t casual about it. It would have been the first time she had sex in over two years, and it was a big deal. Maybe he was right, tonight should be about hanging out, and the rest could come later.

‘That sounds great,’ she says. ‘Where are we going?’

*****

Drake knew how to sneak out of the palace, unseen. He had his ways. As he was driving Amara out of the Capital, he kept getting flashes of their interrupted moment. Glimpses of her lips, her smell, her perfect breasts, populated his head. He had felt stupid that afternoon, walking into the store to buy condoms, which he hadn’t done in a long time. What was the last time again? Right, that Italian tourist over a year ago. Was it Lucia? Luciana? Gianna? He didn’t like that he didn’t remember her name. He didn’t like that sex had become so meaningless to him in the past. But that was about to change.

He glanced over to the beautiful woman in the seat next to him. She looked back, they exchanged a smile. He felt compelled to put his hand on her knee. Was that too intimate? Oh, what the hell. He felt it, so why not.

She responded by grabbing his hand and squeezing it. This felt good. Just driving together, away from it all.

‘So, where are you taking me, Walker?’

‘You’ll see,’ he replies with a raised eyebrow.

‘So mysterious!’

‘You want me to tell you?’

‘No, I’m teasing. I trust you.’

That was nice to hear. He would probably never again hear this from Liam, who would never forgive him for hooking up with the woman he was interested in. He would worry about that later, because he was still pissed at Liam for assuming Amara would say yes to anything, just because he was Liam. He’d never seen Liam be so cocky before. Maybe it was because he never paid attention. Or maybe it was because Liam thought a waitress couldn’t pass up being with a Prince. Either way, it was fucked up.

Or...maybe he was so up in arms about it because it made him feel better about his betrayal.

No, no. Liam was not perfect. It’s time Drake realized that.

He suddenly feels bad about leading Amara somewhere without telling her where they’re going. She’s in a foreign country, and as well as she’s adapted, as many friends as she’s made --the woman was a friendship genius, if she could even tame Olivia fucking Nevrakis--, she deserved to have some control over her whereabouts.

‘I’m taking you to a bar, not too far from where I grew up, where my dad used to go with his colleagues. It’s basically a cop bar.’

He pauses, expecting a reply, whatever it may be. Nothing. He looks over to Amara, who suddenly has an expressionless look on her face. The color has drained from her cheeks. He feels like an idiot. Of course the thought of being in a bar with a bunch of cops and Royal Guards is not her definition of a perfect evening. He just wanted to take her somewhere remote, where people wouldn’t care who she is, and where she could get a good cocktail and chicken wings.

‘If that’s a problem, we can go somewhere else! It was just an idea.’

‘No, that’s perfectly fine,’ Amara replies, visibly unconvinced.

‘I’m sorry, I’ll turn around. I know another place.’

Amara puts her hand on his arm. ‘No, let’s go to the cop bar. I swear it’s fine.’

*****

Come on, Amara thought. What were the odds of that happening? She can’t stay silent forever, he’ll think she’s upset at him, which she absolutely isn’t. But now, what to say? Should she tell him the truth of why she got triggered, all of a sudden? Or should she just say she hates cops? No, that’s not an option. His dad, who she is pretty sure passed away, is or was on the force.

Part of her wants to blurt out everything. Her old life, the tragic incident that changed it.

But she’ll start with the start. Just a part of it is fine for now. The rest might come another time.

‘I used to be a cop.’

He turns to her, visibly shocked. ‘You...used to be a cop?’

‘Yeah. NYPD. In Brooklyn. Until about 2 years ago. I still have a hard time talking about it.’

‘Oh, you don’t have to--’

‘I will. Maybe not right now, but I’ll tell you. I just...it feels weird going back to a cop bar. That used to be my Friday nights, after leaving the precinct.’

He smiles, and holds out his hand. She takes it. ‘Look at you being a secretive badass. We can go somewhere else, Amara, if it brings up unpleasant memories.’

She offers him a sad smile. ‘No, let’s go there. I want to. With you.’

He squeezes his hand, opens his mouth, but no sound comes out. After a pause, he tries again. ‘My dad died while on the force. He died protecting the King.’

‘I’m so sorry…’ She puts a comforting hand on his arm.

He looks at her and smiles. ‘Thank you.’

*****

She had been instantly transported back to O’Donnells, the Irish pub that had harbored her entire precinct after hours, back in Brooklyn. Right from the moment she entered this Cordonian cop bar, she felt like she was home. Funny how it worked; she had expected it to hurt more, to be haunted by happy flashbacks of Sergio, but all she could think about was how comfortable she felt.

Drake had stuck to ginger ale; he was the designated driver. She felt bad about drinking without him, but he’d assured her that she needed it more than he did, and plus, they still had that bottle of wine back in her room. She smiled when he said that; she was happy he was counting on spending more time with her upon returning.

Everything was effortless: the conversation with Drake, the slight mingling with off-duty officers and Royal Guards, as if she’d done that all her life. People seemed to know Drake, called him by his last name and shook his hand, but did not pry or try to engage any deeper conversations. She was grateful for that.

‘This feels good, you have no idea,’ she says, taking another sip of her Maker’s Mark. ‘I needed to get out.’

‘Oh, I have a slight idea,’ Drake replies. ‘I know you and Maxwell get along super well, but he’s really on your case, and he doesn’t seem to give you much alone time. He must be anxious to--’ He stops himself from finishing his sentence, and Amara knows why. He was about to mention the competition, and how important it was for House Beaumont to win it.

She couldn’t really understand why, either. They seemed to be doing ok financially, but every time she caught Maxwell and Bertrand talking, it was always about how broke they were. Where was all their money going? She’d heard of the legendary Beaumont Bashes, but come on, that couldn’t be it. Being surrounded by cops again made her want to investigate, to go back to what she loved: solving cases, and being the good detective she used to be.

‘Yeah,’ she replies, ‘he gets a lot of pressure from Bertrand. But like you said, I love his company, it’s just that...when he’s anxious about me making a good impression, it makes me feel terrible. You know...about…’

He looks her in the eyes and nods. Of course he knows. He must feel terrible, too. He and Liam are like brothers. But this, this thing between them, it was not something to walk away from. She thinks back on the moment she told him she wouldn’t explain more tonight, about her past and all. The way he looked at her. What she saw in his eyes. That was more than understanding and compassion; that was recognition. He’d obviously gone through some shit, too, and wasn’t ready to tell her either. But they’d made progress tonight. She felt better, both for telling him about her old job, and for hearing about his dad. She was happy he trusted her that way.

She sees a couple of men clear off a stage and put a karaoke machine on it. She looks at Drake, a mischievous grin on her face. His eyes widen.

‘Nooooo, I forgot it was karaoke night. Don’t even think about it, Suarez.’

‘Come on!!! We have to.’

‘Reminder: I’m sober.’

She chuckles. ‘But I’m not! What’s your song?’

‘Do I look like I have a song?’

‘Everyone has a song.’

He holds eye contact for a really long time and says ‘My dad and I used to come here when I was a teenager and sometimes I’d make him go on stage with me. But, you know, I was a kid.’

‘YOU made him go on stage?’ She got a kick of imagining young Drake, excited about singing a song with his dad, and her heart got a little heavier. She wanted to see him excited again, carefree, like he must have been in his youth.

‘Yeah. But he refused to sing anything else than country songs, or…’

‘Or what? If you say Britney Spears I’ll lose my mind.’

‘Heh. No. He loved Queen. I mean we loved it. Listened to it in the car all the time.’

‘Oh my God. I fucking LOVE Queen. We HAVE to sing one, Drake. Please?’

He laughs heartily. ‘You, my friend, are drunk.’

‘Maybe a little.’ She pounds back the rest of her bourbon and orders another. ‘I’m your friend?’

‘Oh come on. You know what I mean.’ He looks at her longingly, and she feels a warmth within herself. She would love to bang his brains out right now, but she’s also happy they’re taking it slow. This is nice too, the longing, the expectation. The intimacy, even in a bar full of cops.

‘Yeah. I know what you mean.’ She pauses, before pursuing: ‘I’m gonna go see what they have. What’s your go-to? We are the champions? Don’t stop me now?’

‘Actually, yeah. Don’t stop me now is my go-to.’

She grins. ‘Knew it.’

She gets off her chair and goes to the man in charge of the songs.

*****

Why the hell is he so happy? He’s sober as fuck, their sexy makeout session got interrupted by Maxwell, and he’s betraying his best friend. But for some reason, this is the happiest night he’s had in a very long time. He looks at Amara, who’s talking to Louis over there to choose a song. He’s really not drunk enough to sing in front of this crowd, but it’s nice to see Amara like this. She looks so at peace, so different from the way she was last night, when he caught her crying and...nope, let’s not think about that. There was something going on with her past, with her family probably, given the picture of her niece that had triggered her tears. Maybe it was even why she changed jobs all of a sudden, two years ago. Whatever it was, it was serious, but Drake was prepared to hear it whenever she was ready, and comfort her when she needed. God, it felt good to be near her.

She approaches him, a wide grin on her face. ‘So, they don’t have Don’t stop me now, but I chose Save Me. Do you like it?’

‘Are you kidding? It’s the fucking best. But…’ he gestures at his sad ginger ale. ‘I don’t know if I can…’

‘Hey, I get it. For me, karaoke is a 5-drink minimum. I’ll do it!’

She downs her bourbon, gestures at Bruno at the bar for another. ‘Wow Suarez, are you sure? Even I think that’s a lot.’

‘Hey, no events in the morning, it’s still early….ish, and I have aspirin. No biggie.’

Still, he asks Bruno for some more water for her. Better safe than sorry.

They call her name, she just gave her last name for the song. Funny, he thinks. The way he instinctively called her was probably how she was known to her former coworkers.

Before hopping on stage, she plants a quick kiss on his lips. He would still feel this kiss all through the song.

‘Hi everyone,’ she slurs in front of the microphone. ‘This one goes out to my friend Drake Walker over here.’

She’d used air quotes around the word ‘friend’. Ok, point taken. Can’t say they’re just friends when her nipple was in his mouth just a couple of hours ago.

He watches her on stage, as she starts singing Save Me. That’s a great song, he thinks. And her voice is actually really nice. She’s a little too drunk to be exact with the rhythm, but she’s doing great. She makes clear eye contact with him as she sings:

The slates will soon be cleared -

I’ll erase the memories -

To start again with somebody new -

God, she’s beautiful. As cheesy as this is --a woman singing him a song called Save Me, so on the nose--, he feels completely bewitched by her, and everyone around just fades away. Soon enough, she concludes the song:

I’m naked and I’m far from home

She leaves the stage, in time for a huge cop about to sing Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5, and walks fast towards Drake. Her face is all smiles, and she kisses him deeply.

‘Wow Amara, that was...amazing. The song, and the kiss… But let’s keep a low profile, ok?’

‘I don’t care. No one cares, here, remember?’ She kisses him again. His jeans suddenly feel very tight around him. He wants her, really badly, but he’s sober and she’s really drunk. It would have to wait.

‘Suarez, you’re hammered. I won’t take advantage.’

She makes a disappointed face. ‘Ugh, I thought you were a bad boy.’

He laughs. ‘Bad boy, maybe, but not a bad guy. There’s a difference.’

She rolls her eyes playfully. ‘Alright… Do you want to go back to my place, finish the wine to catch up with me, and watch a movie?’

He flags Bruno to pick up the tab. ‘Deal.’

As they exit the bar, he locks eyes with someone he knows. Has he been sitting here all night? Did he see anything? Shit, this could be bad.

‘Hi, Drake,’ Liam’s bodyguard says.

‘Hi, Bastien.’

*****

Taglist:

@andy-loves-corgis , @drakewalkerwhipped , @drakxwalker , @drakewalkerrosenberg , @drakeswalkers , @drakelover78 , @silviasutton1989 , @jovialyouthmusic , @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria , @mariahschoices , @drakesensworld , @thequeenofcronuts , @notoriouscs , @drakewalkerisreal

Thank you for your encouragements, everyone! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :)

#that's not why i'm going #drake walker x amara suarez #drake walker x mc #drake walker #drake walker trr #the royal romance #choices trr #trr fanfic #trr drake

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tatooedlaura-blog · 7 years

Text

Darkened Night

the series read as follows:

Superman … Monday … Cheezy Pouffs … Bacon … Stumbling … Trail Mix … Punch … Friday … Preparation … Uncle Mudler … Normal … Backseat … Mudler-sense … The FBI … Unthinkable … Patience … Elephant Jokes … Cooking … Rickety Tables … Mr. Skimmer … Bert and Ernie … Midnight Confessions … The Moon … Bright Sunshine ... Graying Skies

@today-in-fic @fictober

_____________________

Hell existed in that room. The devil resided there, lingering in corners, filling crevices, cracks, shadowing air with evil, thick, heavy, palpable.

Mulder wanted to set the entire place on fire and walk away laughing.

Banging his head against the wall became secondary relief to arsonary evidence destruction. He wasn’t alone in the two-bedroom, unassuming apartment but he might as well have been, his mind buried so far in wanton annihilation that everything else disappeared. Skinner crossed his path every so often, leaving Mulder to stare at papers, journals – why the fuck did they always keep records of their rambling, Schizophrenic, fragmented psyche to taunt him – and that damn religious icon.

Cross, image, vestment, book, candle, verse … he may not believe in any god, be it little ‘g’ god or big ‘G’ God but he was damn certain that you didn’t show your love for your god/God by killing somebody else.

He seriously could have been a mousy professor in some dusty college who followed supernatural blogs and crawled into bed with his Scully every night, life unassuming, heart full, soul intact, ignorance bliss.

With a final bang to the dirty white walls, his forehead throbbed while he returned to shitty reality.

What the fuck was wrong with humanity?

&&&&&&&&&&

Scully showed up, Scully disappeared, Skinner passed, Collins talked, Scully reappeared, Mulder felt sunlight, squinted, fell asleep in the car. Hand cramped from writing, eyes blurry from reading, sirens loud, then quiet in his ears, Kevlar heavy, wind warm, gunfire earsplitting, blood red, skin soft, skin smooth.

“What day is it?”

“Saturday night.” Scully slid her hand across his back.

Harsh moments flooded his mind and sitting up, he began pawing at her, “are you okay? I remember blood. Are you hurt?” Moving his hands across her, he felt his own chest, face, shifted back to her, hands wrapping tightly around shoulders when he realized she wasn’t screaming in agony as he groped, “when did we find him?”

Her cool hand went to his forehead, heat calming with her touch, her other palm to his cheek, “you and Barton worked out two possible scenarios. The second was correct and there was gunfire but you’re fine. Barton and Collins took hits to the leg, shoulder and right flank but they’re alive and home. I bought you here Friday morning and you fell asleep.”

She hated his mind at times for doing this to him, overloading and overwhelming until he lost days but his next sentence still made her smile, “no wonder I have to pee so badly.” Twisting out of bed, he groaned and hunched, waiting until his muscles had enough control of his bladder to get moving without catastrophic consequences. Scully followed, to keep him upright if necessary but once he was standing in the bathroom, he shooed her away, “I don’t need shy bladder happening right now … I can taste the pee in the back of my throat.”

With a small chuckle she kept to herself, she rolled around the doorframe, out of sight but not out of sound. Once again, he passed the minute-mark like a champ, only stopping after a minute, 28. Quiet returned and Scully leaned around the jamb, “you completely destroyed your old record.”

He was standing at the sink now, head hanging, tired again, “yay me. I need some sleep.”

She came up beside him, rumpled but still breath-taking in his eyes, “go back to bed. I’ll go make you a sandwich. You haven’t had much since Monday.”

Taking her hand, he pulled her back to the bedroom, nearly running into the wall, mid-course correction bringing him within half an inch of plasterboard, “horizontal. Sleep. Company. You.”

“English. Useless. Food. Necessary. Five minutes. Max.”

“Blar. No mayo.”

Because sandwich making skills peaked at 11:17pm, she also whispered to Maggie, who had just gone to bed, that Mulder was awake before returning upstairs, roast beef sandwich in hand. “Eat.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

First bite made him ravenous, second and third bite finished it off, Scully watching in concerned awe. If he didn’t choke, it would be amazing.

He did not.

She’d figured he’d go back to sleep but his eyes remained open, staring at the ceiling, hand making lazy circles, ovals, lopsided ellipses, some kind of absent-minded geometric shapes across her thigh until she broke the silence, “penny for your thoughts.”

His finger hesitated for a fraction, then continued its repetitive path, “I’m just listening to the quiet.”

“Enjoying?”

Now he wrapped the hand around her thigh, heat seeping into fingers, “I’m not sure. My head’s been so loud for a week that I think I like it but I don’t know.”

Making sure she didn’t twist his wrist too much, she turned on her side, trapping his hand, “would you like to talk or just listen to me trying to breathe through my slightly stuffy nose?”

Kissing her forehead, he wiggled his fingers just for fun, “how about you sing to me?”

“Elvis or Guns ‘n’ Roses?”

“You trying to kill me over here?”

“Just trying to make you happy.”

Removing his hand from her warmth, he turned to face her, fingers finding skin stretched over her spine, “you already do.”

“Do I still have to sing then?”

Now he laughed, chuckling into her forehead, “nope but maybe you can open the window so we can listen to the rain.”

“It’s raining?” Lifting her head, she could just make out the sounds, then slithering from his grasp to do as asked. Ten seconds later, she was back and both were lulled to half-asleep dreams by the steady rain on the kitchen window tin roof overhang.

He roused her awhile later, just as the first rumblings of thunder ambled across the sky, whispering into the pillow, sound asleep, “don’t make me go back.”

Fighting the urge to shake him awake, she twisted, sitting up quickly, hand on his shoulder blade, stroking the peak, “I won’t. You don’t have to go back at all.”

She noticed his hands fisted beneath the pillow and deciding her singular touch wasn’t enough, she swung her leg over his thighs, settling on his butt, massaging shoulders and coercing tense muscles with practiced digits, trying to make out his mumblings, “I don’t want to go back.”

“Mulder, you don’t have to go back.”

Suddenly he turned over, nearly tossing her off the bed. She held her ground, however, letting him finish his rotating while she held onto the mattress, sheets tangling into a nightmarish wad near her knees. Once he was facing her again, his eyes open this time, “what?”

Seeing he had absolutely no recollection of what he said, she leaned onto him, his arms automatic around her waist, “you don’t have to go back. Wherever ‘there’ is, you don’t have to go back.”

And he remembered.

Eyes closing instantly, “yes, I do.”

“No, you don’t. You caught the men. They cleaned out the room. It’s finished.”

Never more honest in his life, he finally met her confusion, “I meant the Bureau.”

&&&&&&&&&&&

He’d dropped his statement on her at 3:18am, then disappeared out the front door, running in the rain, walking in the rain, eventually coming home to sit quietly in the rain on the damp front porch while ignoring the world around him.

Scully stared at the ceiling once she realized he’d left the house. He’d quietly tossed that bomb at her, then excused himself for a drink of water. When the front door shut, she didn’t move to go after him, scooting to his rapidly cooling side of the bed to wait it out, her mind running in the circles she imagined Mulder’s body was under the thundering sky.

He didn’t want to go back to the FBI.

But like the good Mulder he was, regardless of emotional turmoil or highly developed escapism techniques, he let her know when he got home, opening the front door of the house with its telltale squeak but not coming in. He knew she was awake. She would find him when she was ready.

Scully sensed he was home almost a minute before the door told her so and swinging her legs to the floor, she moved her bare feet across the rug, across the hardwood, down the stairs and out the door, quietly taking her place beside him.

He’d grabbed his bag of sunflower seeds from the cupholder of the Jeep and cracking one, he handed her another, “I ditched you but I came home. Does that count for something?”

Hugging her knees to her chest, she stared across the street, “that was not a ditch, Mulder. That was an intriguing tidbit followed by alone time to be continued with thunderstorms and nervous habits.”

Nearly feeling like smiling, an impressive feat given the amount of guilt he felt, “I’m not supposed to do that anymore, though. I’m supposed to stay with you and talk this shit out, not run around during a lightning storm and keep you awake because I’m an idiot.”

Her hand snaked under his arm and hand gripped knee, “do you really want to leave the FBI?”

What the hell, if he couldn’t tell Scully, then there really wasn’t any point breathing, “I want to stop losing hours and days in rooms like that.” Dropping his head forward, he spoke to her hand, which, with astonishing clarity, he realized did not yet have an engagement ring on it, “I don’t remember the last four days at all. The last truly clear thing I can think of is you making me drink a glass of milk and the rest is just a jumbled fucking mess of death and anger and destruction and,” standing up suddenly, he moved down the step to tower in the drizzle, looking at her in the hazy yellow shine of the porch light, “I don’t want that anymore. I may be good at it but I can’t handle it. It scares me how easily I forgot about you and Maggie and the kids and … and us … I lose myself in that room and what if one day I can’t find my way back out?”

Looking up at him, neck angled to full extension, eyes sympathetic, mouth tightened to the thin line of concern, “I love you and I will not let you get lost in that room. I promise.” His shifting, his restlessness, his skittering glance and unattainable eye contact made her heart ache, realizing once again just how much they coexisted in the universe, “Mulder, I won’t think any less of you if you stop profiling. I won’t think you gave up and I won’t judge you for it.” Finally shifting to stand, she watched him approach, eye level given the porch made her taller, “I am scared every second you’re lost in someone’s head. I watch you in there and you turn into someone else … someone I don’t recognize and to be blunt about it, I hate it. My stomach is in knots until you come back to me, plain and simple.” Reaching her arms out slightly, she wiggled her fingers in the universal ‘get over here’ gesture and once he was within reach, she ran her hands from his forehead, down his cheeks and stopped to cradle his chin, whispering as she begged his soul through dilated green eyes, “you need to do what you need to do and trust me when I say, I love you no matter what.”

Muscles relaxing into her, hugging her tight, “but I’m not supposed to trust anyone, Scully.”

“I have never been just anyone, Mulder.”

With a wet chuckle into her neck, “I will talk to Skinner tomorrow at dinner.”

“Would you like me to be there?”

“Yes, please.”

And they stood, immobile and immeasurable, one shadow, one couple, one perfect blip on an imperfect night.

#msr #the room #i don't want to go back #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #Life part 2 series #my writing

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