#I’m a bad adult
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Bkdk plot bunnies pt. 4
- Katsuki is a great fucking adult, the best even
- he does his taxes, hell he even does the whole Bakusquad’s because he doesn’t “want them to go to fucking jail for tax evasion”
- So imagine his surprise when in the mail he receives a letter from the tax agency because he overpaid his taxes
- Now of course it’s a matter of pride, Katsuki goes over his calculations again, sure he made no mistake
- He calls the tax agency to asure them he NEVER makes mistakes
- “Oh yes, I see here you got married a year ago congratulations! That means you get a tax discount, that’s why it appears you overpaid this year sir.” Says the costumer service agent
- “I’m not married! You guys fucked up.” Katsuki says vindicated in that he didn’t make any mistakes.
- “Your name is Katsuki Bakugou, right? I can see here your marriage certificate, and you indeed got married about a year ago”
- “I think I’d remember if I had a fucking wedding” katsuki said starting to get angry
- “…Sir, I can see in public records that on 17/07/XXXX you married Midoriya Izuku now Bakugou Izuku, if you had a divorce maybe it hasn’t gon-“
- “D-did you just say Midoriya Izuku?” Katsuki stuttered
- “…yes…?”
- Katsuki hangs up.
- He pulls up public records himself and sure enough there is his marriage certificate where Izuku took his last name (bc in Japan you can only keep one surname per couple)
- “Motherfucker.” Of course bullshit like this follows Katsuki when Deku is concerned.
- He runs to Izuku’s apartment taking it a step further and going through his mail
- “Bakugou Izuku, Bakugou Izuku, this fucking idiot…” Katsuki muses as he flips through the mail.
- “Dekuuuu!!!” Katsuki pounds on the apartment’s door roughly.
- “I’m coming, I’m coming!” Izuku’s voice is heard from inside. “Kacchan w-“
- “Apparently a year ago we got fucking married” Katsuki shows the marriage certificate on his phone to Deku
- “What?!”
- Katsuki explained everything. “…and just now I looked through your mail and it’s all addressed to Bakugou Izuku, how the fuck did you miss that for over a year?!”
- “Oh my god, so we’re legally married?!”
- “Somehow!!”
- “W-when did this even happen?!”
- They look at the date and try to figure out if someone forged their signatures
- They remember that day a big sting operation in Yumeshima island (the Vegas of Japan according to google lol) had just ended and a few of their friends were there, they had just missed Izuku’s 20th birthday because of the operation so they decided to celebrate there
- And everyone got really really drunk, both Izuku and Katsuki themselves blacked out
- “So we got married then?” Izuku asks
- “It appears so.” Katsuki said
- “How did we not know until now? I mean at least one of our friends has to have remembered.”
- Katsuki got angry “if one of those fuckers hid it from us I’m going to explode them.”
- They call Uraraka first; “Sorry Deku-kun! I can’t remember anything from that night either.” She apologized
- Then Kirishima; “What? Those weddings aren’t fake?! They had Michael Jackson officiating, that can’t be legal!!!”
- Todoroki; “Wait, so you guys aren’t together? I thought you just decided to get married, that’s why I bought you that blender you wanted Bakugou.”
- Shinsou; “oh yeah, I just thought it was the funniest shit ever. I even kept the original certificate.”
- “So you’ve been sitting on this for a year?!” Deku said.
- “Yeah,” Shinso confirmed. “I mean, I didn’t think you would take this long to realize, Midoriya, or should I say Bakugou?”
- “IM GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU!!!” Katsuki bellowed at the phone.
- “Come on Bakugou, let’s not fight, I wouldn’t want to leave Izuku a widow”
- “MOTHERFU-“
- “Besides, just get a divorce, you haven’t been married long so you won’t have to legally separate your things or anything” as much things new heroes two years out of high school could have
- They decide to sort the legal shit on their next day off
- Or they would have if the news didn’t leak to the press just a day later
- ‘Pro hero Deku and Pro hero Dynamight MARRIED FOR OVER A YEAR?!’
- The PR of the agency begs them to stay married until it blows over
- “Izuku baby, why didn’t you tell me you got married to Katsuki-kun! You didn’t even invite me to your wedding!” Inko cries as Deku tries to console her
- “You fucking brat, you didn’t have the fucking decency to invite your own mother to your wedding to Izuku-kun, do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this?!”
- “Fuck you hag, this is exactly why I didn’t fucking invite you!” Katsuki replies
- The media starts getting suspicious because they don’t live together and don’t do PDA
- In an interview Bakugou panics and says they live apart because they are saving up for a house which everyone thinks is so cute
- PR makes them do a little PDA
- So slowly they settle into a relationship and just never divorce
-later, two years or so after they have a proper wedding and live happily ever after
Pt 1| pt 2 | pt 2.5| pt 3| pt 5 | pt 6 |
#izuku x bakugo#katsudeku#katsuki x izuku#decchan#bakudeku#dekubaku#bakudeku au#bakugo x deku#bakudeku fan fiction#bkdk#dkbk#i don’t ac know how taxes work#I’m a bad adult
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Don’t mind me drawing ship art of two one-off characters, anyway who else thought they’d kiss after saying how alone they both felt
#smiling friends#troglor#gwimbly#adult swim#I neglect my tumblr account so bad guys I’m sorry#this episode JUST came out too HAHA
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“I can’t believe Tom Cruise of all people would stand up for his agent, a Muslim Libyan-American woman, who was being publicly blacklisted for her support of Palestine and calling out the ongoing genocide, including making a rare in-person appearance to CAA headquarters in LA to express his support for her. What a strange person who can ever guess what opinions he will have.”
Look. I’ve studied Tom Cruise a lot. One could even call me a Cruisologist. (Not to be confused with. Well.) And, it’s actually really easy to predict Tom Cruise’s opinion on something. The tricky part is whether it will be made public in a timely manner or not and, if it’s made public at all, will it be a lede buried in favor of pushing a narrative sold on background by a studio exec he pissed off because he didn’t roll over and take their bullshit.
#can’t wait for someone to yell at me for this post so let’s get some things over with:#I know more than you. I don’t care.#but for the record: this post isn’t ‘tom cruise: perfect human who’s never done anything wrong’#it’s ‘tom cruise: complicated person who has lived his entire adult life under an intense microscope and as a result is incredibly private#and tends to not share anything good or bad which has allowed tabloids to fill gaps as they please for clicks.’#I wouldn’t say he’s a Good Person. I’m just saying he’s a Person.
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The Bad Batch Finale Spoilers
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It’s now CONFIRMED THAT ECHO TAUGHT OMEGA HER SABATOGE TRICKS ajshdiajdrbd
*Hears Zillo escaped*
Echo: (in awe) Omega
Emerie: how do you know?
Echo: because that’s exactly what I would do
Sjshdbajddjdbd
Wrecker, Cross, Hunter seeing Zillo erupt from Tantiss
Crosshair: is that Echo’s handy work or omega’s?
Long pause
Wrecker and Hunter: Omega’s
LIKE MOTHER LIKE DAUGHTER IM ACTUALLY CRYING
#star wars#the bad batch#sag’s stuff#the bad bad spoilers#the bad batch season 3#arc trooper echo#tbh omega#I’m actually sobbing#they all lived#and Adult Omega and Old Hunter had me sobbing#FUCK
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“This Is A Bad Idea”
“I Don’t Care”
Uhh HAPPY VALENTINES DAY *throws guys kissing at you and runs away*
If you wanna see more of them I have a LOT on my Patreon. Uhhhh yeah bYE —
#I’m so tired of being afraid of sharing simple smooching#what’s some making out between two dudes in their mid 20’s?#they are down bad#*shakes them in a jar full of marbles*#kissing#smooching#make out#idk how else to tag this#leoichi#LeoSagi#they ARE ADULTS OKAY#(hate feeling like I need to defend myself before posting anything but it’s my art and my au and I can do what I want)#I hope ppl like this#I just really love how the arm and hand on Leo came out#I LOVE THEM SO MUCH NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ME
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dunmeshi modern labru au where Kabru wants to try fromsoft games to understand why they’re so popular.
he gives elden ring a shot and surprise he gets fucking rolled. can’t get past tree sentinel, tries to fight Margit at level 15, put all his stats in intelligence and not enough dex, hasn’t even found a proper staff, picked warrior as his starting class.
he’s ready to uninstall but he paid full price for this game, he’s at least gonna defeat one boss goddammit. so he tries summoning players for aid and just his luck, he summons cooperator WolfChimeraWyvern.
and this cooperator is SO GOOD, he solos Margit without getting hit, and Kabru is just. in awe. so he adds him as a friend.
and that’s how he meets Laios, expert on all things fromsoft (has literally read every item description, knows the most obscure lore by heart, don’t ask him how many hours he’s played, he has all the platinums)
#drops to my knees from cringe#i’m … so Laois in this au#i have the elden ring and bloodborne platinum ):#the only reason i don’t have the platinum for the other games is that i am an adult with a job and i simply do not have time#but consider that Kabru would be too busy at the club#he’d be so bad at these games#he wouldn’t like that he’s bad at something tho so he’d try and try and keep failing lol#and Laios fromsoft boss expert has absolutely no trouble reading the gameplay#he helps other players by soloing Malenia for fun#welcome to my insane mind palace#wasabi rambles#labru#laios touden#kabru of utaya#the funny thing about all of this is that i told a friend a few months ago ‘idk i’m just not that into fantasy’#🤡#one thing about me#i will lie about gameplay hours 😭#elden ring#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#omg … Laios you would love Blaidd’s armour set
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the reason why white liberals are often more frustrating than white conservatives when it comes to race is that the first group finds ways to convince themselves that once they know not to say slurs, their work is done
trying to explain, for example, the racism behind writing a nonwhite character as dirty and in need of white guidance, is like talking to a brick wall. sometimes POC can be messy! sometimes they have white friends who help them! you’re hurting my feelings by assuming ill intent!
i suppose when you live in a world that allows you the luxury of individuality and the privilege of never thinking about your own race, none of this makes sense to you. but if someone points out that something you did is racist, and you throw a tantrum about it or wring your hands and insist that you didn’t mean it that way — i’m so sorry, but you’re being a coward. you’re putting your own feelings ahead of someone else’s, because you’ve been taught that discomfort is worse than the actual harm you’ve caused
yeah, you didn’t mean to step on my foot. but you still did it, and it’s VERY weird if you demand i apologize for bringing up that it hurt
you’re a grown ass adult with access to the internet and countless books on this topic. the solution to that discomfort is not to bury your head in the sand and run to your white friends for comfort. the solution is to arm yourself with knowledge and unlearn everything you’ve been taught about how racism actually works
there is no quick fix. there is no youtube video you can watch that will make sure you’re never racist again. there is no class you can take or fee you can pay that will grant you Racism Immunity. sorry. you’re going to have to put the hard work in
“but what if someone says something is racist and it’s not actually!” you know, if you actually did the work and gained the knowledge, you’d know what to do in that situation
you have absolutely no idea how loud the cosmic background radiation of racism has to get before we start calling it out. if you can be angry and frustrated about trying to explain the same shit over and over again, why can’t we?
#scarrlet rambles#this is about fandom but it’s also not#like how many times do i have to explain basic shapes to adults before they get it#something about whiteness grants a false idea of innocence doesn’t it#like it’s okay if you’re 40 years old and don’t know what a stereotype looks like#bc that’s not something a white person needs to know#that’s a problem the silly little brown people are making up to make you feel bad and gain power over you#idk man. i’m tired
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I am also looking forward to Other demon game!
(*´∀｀*)
#I’m an ADULT!!!!!#art#oc ivory#obey me leviathan#om! mc#obey me mc#whb leviathan#what in hell is bad#WHB leviathan can absolutely get this ass I stg#my art
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disliking specific real life trans people for their abusive or hateful behavior isn’t transphobia or transmisogyny lol
#I keep seeing posts about how it’s unfair and transmisogynist if a trans man isn’t unconditionally supportive of all trans women he knows#and I’m like…. lmao. this kind of shit is why domestic violence is such a bad problem in this community#you think individuals owe you because you’re systemically marginalized and that’s just not true people are allowed to leave you and say no#- to you. it’s called we’re all adults with autonomy
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Hey
Do you all think the Fallen hero died as a kid, or right after he became an adult?
#asking for completely innocent reasons I assure you#it works better for this is he’s a teenager-adult but I guess kid could work#I’d feel more bad about what I’m gonna do if he’s a kid tho#course he’s sort of a kid no matter what I do so#well#anyway#what do you all think gimme thoughts#rambles from the floor#legend of Zelda#ocarina of time#and#linkeduniverse#linked universe#kind of#it’s lu related
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Idk I want my pro wrestling built on mutual respect and love for the storytelling, not backwards old school toxic “I’m the toughest guy in the room” bs cause like…as a fan I am here for the stories. It’s fake fighting, I am here for the stories.
Some of y’all are weird to not want wrestling companies to be healthy working environments just as much as any other job
#‘that’s the industry that’s the way it’s always been’#oh the industry that abuses women and has historically caused men to die young ?#that industry ?#I’m so sorry for wanting everyone to get along and be paid and have a good time at work#so sorry I want adults to like be nice and communicate in healthy ways#my bad y’all I’m asking too much of grown ass men and their fans#aew
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i love the fact that after the fnaf trailer dropped, everyone just agreed that bonnie and freddy were high as hell
#it’s so funny#i want to see that move so bad#the fnaf movie is what’s encouraging me to go get my driver’s license#i do not want to ask my parents to give me a ride to the fnaf movie#i’m a grown ass adult#and i want to laugh at the frightened children whose parents thought the movie was a cracked up care bears#cosmic’s word vom#fnaf#fnaf movie
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I haven’t watched it in a while but Zuko and Toph actually should’ve had the life-changing field trip because I really needed her to find out that his biggest problem is a father that demanded his children be the best benders around and kind of envy that, and then I needed him to find out that her biggest problem is parents that believed her to be helpless and wanted to love and protect her anyway and just totally flip out.
#I always felt bad for them. If I found out that my 12-year-old (blind or not) was living a dangerous double life I would also lose my mind#We didn’t really get to see them at their best#They kind of had the “okay you’re grounded FOREVER” moment that a lot of parents would have under those circumstances#and then she hit the road before the knowledge could sink in#I mean I’m sure she had reason to think that they’d still be overprotective if they knew how self-sufficient she was#but that theory was never actually tested#It doesn’t bug me the show’s about dumb kids acting like dumb kids so of course she takes it for granted they’ll never get her and runs off#with people who do#but then you have a whole adult audience watching it and acting like they’re as bad as Ozai pardon me what#Anyway. Missed opportunity! HUGE
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i feel like it’s kinda dumb but i’ve ALWAYS been weird about touch even when i want it…there’s always been some aspect of exchanging touch casually / familiarly that has never really “clicked” for me. like, i remember being young and seeing people/friends casually lean on or touch each other’s arms or pull each other close and it always felt like a language i couldn’t speak or learn. i think a lot of this had to do with being a closeted / kinda repressed kid / teen but it felt & sometimes feels frustrating. i felt very monstrous for a long time. i think there are years that have passed in my life where the time spent touching or being touched could be condensed into a handful of hours, if not less. much less the case now because i’ve got to a point where i’ll crawl around on franklin for fun & i get friends to roughhouse sometime. anyway, this problem exists to a much lesser extent today but i still notice & feel it but last night during a song a bar friend who i’ve known for, hell, five years peered over my shoulder and we leaned our heads against each other and sang and it, like, did something to me. also hugs are easy but i got kind of a long one from a new friend!
anyway, i am maybe not entirely made of spikes and fire
#exception to this was in middle school we’d punch each other playfully and it kinda became the only way i would do this and#i still do this#it catches people off guard sometimes and i’ve had people be like “ow? hello?’’#i’ve gotten good at doing it Way Less hahaha#the first time i did it to someone outside of my middle school friend group someone got kinda upset with me i felt bad#exception in adult life is mosh pits lol#omg wait i remember a couple years ago when i was getting my first covid shot my housemate held my hand and it was such a massively#impactful way to be cared for bc i’d come to feel like my body was an uncrossable barrier (outside of like. sex really)#anyway#i am happy and excited this morning! it’s been a hard week i’m happy to feel this way today#and i’m thankful for yesterday and the way it played out
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Taking the Stinky Bastard to work for Enrichment ✨
#He sits in my bad and gives me seratonin#Yeah I’m an adult taking my Dollie to work#whatever makes you keep living#Postal Dude#Postal Dude Plush#Postal Dude Doll#idk what the fandom calls hin#Dude Plush
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aau rework version of the overload/boss fight where it actually has consequences and bearing on the character dynamics save me,, save me aau rework,,,,
#Ily greif Stricken mj ily trust issues hattie ily pissed snatcher etc#The overload actually being a big deal also works out better bc youknow snatch doessss elude to it with mjs contract that shit will go down#So It fits better to me theyll all get a dynamic shift#ESP with the thought of mj finally starting to bond w snatcher a bit beforehand too fuckkkk#Undid all that progress#AND HAT that fucks me upppp like the one adult person you meet that you trust that hasn’t tried to kill you or backstab you doing just that#That will FUCK HER UPPPPP#THE SECOND IT HIT ME THE REASON I STRUGGLED WRITING HER WAS BC SHE WAS BORING WAS EARTH SHATTERING#BC THEN I WAS INSTANTLY LIKE “ok she comes to befriend mj wayyyy too fast I gotta inflict trust issues upon her later”#Bc I mentioned it like she jokes that mj is the only person on earth that didn’t try to kill her but never played on that fact#So boom the overload is my opportunity#Like they can’t get into a found family THAT EASILY. THESE GUYS ARE FIGHTING TOOTH AND NAIL FOR IT !!#a!au#amnesia!moonjumper au#ahit au#ahit a!au#Also if if ur wondering I drew snatch like that bc I like the idea he’s in between forms bc he’s weakened <mj uses the blue strings on him#Hence why he doesn’t do anything during the fight bc he’s kinda sorta been restrained oops lol#Watching ur forest and subjects get fucked up by a weirdo fucked up you cannot be fun#No one wins in overload arc. Everyone is having a bad time. Lol.#Ok I’m done yapping#Everyone loves Raymond OUT everyone hates mj IN
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