Childish Gambino is MY Taylor swift. I am NOT normal abt his music and I WILL defend it with my life

𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. 𝐰𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐚𝐭 𝐚 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐚 𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡. | delicate au, jack hughes

౨ৎ ─ summary | this takes place in late august of 2023, a little before the njd season started. jack hughes dm's the girl the whole internet thinks he's dating and invites her to a pre-season get-together at his house.

─ word count | 1.9k

─ warnings | anxiety, some flirting? nothing else!

─ taglist | @dancerbailey3 @valluvsu @daisysnhl @dasiysthings @iminlovewithtz11 @literatureluster @lvrzegras @lxvleyzoe @bowen-power @ru-kru @jackhughesily @hearts-for-luke

─ ev's notes | please lmk ur thoughts on this au so far! i, of course, always read ur guys feedback so anything would be very much appreciated.

Accept message request from jhughes (jackhughes)?

jhughes: have you seen twitter? we're trending 🤣 jhughes: looks like i'm your bf now 🤷🏻🤷🏻

libbytf: yeah um i don't even know how that happened😭 libbytf: they're crazy, that's not either of us?

jhughes: it does really look like us though haha 🤣 i don't blame them

libbytf: the more i look the photos the more i disagree lol, i hope they figure it out on their own 😭

jhughes: haha yeah [seen]

jhughes: me and luke are having a pre season party, you should come if ur free jhughes: oh and if leon wants you to hahaha😭

libbytf: when is it? i'll see if i can come and if i'm in town

jhughes: next saturday at our new place

libbytf: i'll let you know!

jhughes: k lmk ( 👍🏻 )

Libby stared down at her screen, trying to comprehend what had just happened. Did she just get asked out?

She received the message later that day and she was surprised that Jack Hughes had messaged her. She wasn't starstruck or anything but he didn't seem like the "dm" type, he looked more like the type to approach you in public.

She shook her head, she didn't even know if he was hitting on her. He probably wasn't even trying to come off that way, he probably just needed more people at his party. And the truth was, after the whole "Josh" thing, she didn't really have anything to do because everyone in the world was seemingly against her. The messy breakup with Josh had left her feeling exposed, as if every aspect of her personal life was now fair game for public scrutiny.

She had been under the spotlight for years now, long before she had even considered the idea of being a singer. Her sister and father were already apart of the "Hollywood" circle, she has seen this kind of stuff before. She's never been apart of the gossip, though - this was the first time she'd been in the spotlight for a bad reason.

Growing up in the shadow of her sister's and father's fame had accustomed her to the entertainment industry and all the drama that came with it. But now, as the fallout from her breakup with Josh engulfed her, Libby found herself thrust into uncharted territory. The barrage of rumors and gossip had stripped away the layers of privacy she had worked so hard to preserve, leaving her feeling vulnerable.

Libby couldn't even turn to her music anymore, she felt like it was no use because the whole internet (and their moms) hated her for no reason other than her relationship, or lack thereof.

She was pulled out of her thoughts as she felt her phone buzz on her bed. She reached for it lazily and opened it, reading the message.

leon 😛 are you down for something this weekend?

Libby typed out a quick response.

libs 🥸 depends

leon 😛 me and some of the team are gonna have a party this weekend to celebrate the start of the season, they told me to bring someone and ur all i have

leon 😛 unless u say no i'll ask someone else

libs 🥸 jack already asked me so sure :)

leon 😛 wait so ur his plus one?

libs 🥸 no bc he's the literal host, he just invited me😭😭

leon 😛 thats weird but okay, can u still be my plus one

libs 🥸 idk if that'll change anything but sure!!

She sighed at her brother's slight stupidity. It sounds like she was going to be going to the party this weekend. As she agreed, Libby couldn't help but feel a twinge of anxiety about attending Jack's party. The thought of facing a bunch of strangers, each with their own preconceived notions about who she was, made her stomach churn.

Before she could turn off her phone, her phone buzzed and she looked at the notification.

jhughes (jackhughes) started following you!

──

"Have you been on Twitter?" Leon spoke up as he drove, his eyes glancing toward Libby before focusing back on the road.

She shrugged, "Yeah. Why?"

"Everyone thinks you're dating Jack, it's kinda funny. Isn't this like, your first time meeting him?" Leon replied with a small laugh, shaking his head.

"It's pretty dumb, isn't it?" Libby replied, her voice tinged with amusement. "Well this is like my second or third time meeting him so it's not like we're strangers but still, we're far from strangers."

"Are you sure about that? He messaged you." Leon joked as he smirked at you as you rolled your eyes. She knew he was joking but a part of her thought that maybe he was flirting with her. But Libby could not even mention that to Leon because it'll make him go crazy, staying quiet was the better option.

"Shut up," Libby mumbled as Leon laughed. "The pictures aren't even us, you know?"

"The guy looks a lot like Jack but not you. It's so funny especially because everyone swears that they know you so well but they can't even tell the difference you and some other person." Leon grinned, clearly enjoying the absurdity of the situation. "Well, I guess the internet just loves drama. Can't blame them for trying to spice things up, it is fun."

"I just hope people figure it out soon," Libby sighed, glancing out of the car window at the passing city lights. "I mean, it's not like I need more rumors right now."

Leon shrugged. "Yeah, I get it. But you know what they say, any publicity is good publicity."

"Yeah at least I'll know my new album will get tons of new streams, thanks to Josh's fangirls."

"You mean dickriders? Jesus, have you seen the comments?" Leon scoffed, making a turn to Jack and Luke's home.

Libby sighed, her shoulders slumping as she leaned back against the car seat. "Yeah, I've seen them. It's like they're just waiting for the opportunity to tear me apart completely, I can't even go on Instagram anymore."

Leon's expression softened with empathy as he reached out to place a comforting hand on Libby's arm. "They're just fucking bored, that's all. They have to tear someone down to feel better. Don't let them get to you."

Libby nodded, grateful for her brother's words of encouragement. "I know, it's just hard sometimes, you know? Feels like I'm constantly under a microscope."

Leon nodded in understanding, his gaze unwavering in its support. "Yeah, I get it. But remember, those comments don't define you. You're so much more than what people say about you."

Libby managed a small smile as they reached Jack's home. The night air was crisp as Libby and Leon made their way towards Jack's home. The distant noise from the party spilled into the quiet neighborhood as they walked towards the entrance.

The home was pretty big but you weren't surprised, they were really good and popular hockey players so of course they had a big home. However, as you walked into their porch, you noticed how clean it was. Not many boys in their twenties kept their homes so clean and organized but Libby was pleasantly surprised at how clean their home was and she hadn't even been inside yet.

Leon gave the door a few knocks before the door opened to reveal Jack, a big grin on his face and a backwards cap on his head. "Leon! You made it!"

"Yeah, and I brought Libs!" Leon grinned back at Jack as his gaze finally fell on Libby, she felt his eyes scan her body before they landed on her eyes once again.

Libby felt a slight flush rise to her cheeks as she met Jack's gaze. His warm smile putting her at ease as she returned it, trying to ignore the flutter of nerves in her stomach.

"Awesome! Come on in, guys." Jack ushered them inside, the sounds of the party becoming more pronounced as they stepped inside.

"There's some chips in the kitchen and you guys can just help yourself to the drinks inside the fridge, just don't drink any of our protein smoothies." Jack side glanced to Leon playfully, in which he responded with a quick fine. "Everyone's in the living room playing pool."

"I'm gonna go get a beer, if y'all don't mind." Leon called out as he headed towards the kitchen, leaving Libby and Jack by the entrance.

As Leon left, Libby shifted her gaze to Jack with a warm smile. There was a brief awkward silence before Jack broke it, "I didn't know that you lived in Jersey."

"Well I don't but ever since Leon's moved here I've been spending every second at his place. I actually live in New York City but it gets a little hectic, I need a break sometimes from... everything." Libby explained as she recalled all the drama from the summer, from everything with Olivia to Josh, it was eventful.

Jack nodded, his expression sympathetic as he listened to Libby's explanation. "I get it. New York can be intense, especially with everything going on."

Libby sighed, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders as she spoke about the challenges she faced. "Yeah, it's been a lot to deal with lately. Sometimes, it's nice to escape to somewhere quieter, you know?"

Jack's gaze softened with understanding. "I get it. I'm sorry by the way, with the whole uh... thing." Jack didn't really want to specify but they both knew as Libby nodded.

Libby gave him a sweet smile but before she could respond, Luke came in wearing a Devils jersey. "Dude I've been looking everywhere for you, there's something wrong with the-" He cut himself as he noticed Libby.

"Hey Luke." Libby greeted the tall curly-head with a grin as he walked over to where Libby was and gave her a side hug as Jack observed.

"Libby! I haven't seen you in a while, how's everything?" Luke asked casually as he pulled back.

"Can't complain." You spoke with a small grin as you looked in between the boys. "You?"

"Very excited for the new season, I don't know if you could tell." Luke chuckled as he looked down at the jersey.

Libby couldn't help but chuckle at Luke's enthusiasm. Even though she's never formally met Jack, her and Luke have a pretty good friendship through Leon. As soon as they met they clicked and now they're practically tied at the hip. "Hmm... I couldn't tell. Go Rangers, right?"

"Hey, hey, hey!"

"Whoa, don't you dare step foot in our homes and disrespect us like that. That is a like a slur around here." Jack shook his head playfully as him and Luke exchanged looks before all three of you busted out laughing.

"Sorry, sorry won't happen again!"

"It better not or we're gonna have to kick you out." Luke threatened with a mock-serious expression. "But seriously Jack, the TV isn't working and everyone wants to play Fifa for some reason."

Jack shrugged as he motioned to Libby towards the living room, "I don't even know if we own Fifa..."

They all entered the spacious living room where everyone was. There were some teammates who she recognized and some people she'd never seen before. Jack and Luke ventured off toward the TV, leaving Libby to go stand by the couch. She'd enjoyed the night so far but as she stood there, anxiety began to creep into her stomach.

Everyone here knew somebody and right now the only people she was close with was her brother, Luke and Jack and they were all playing Fifa right now.

"Libs, get a controller we need one more player!" Jack shouted from the coach and waved at her to come over. Libby hesitated for a moment, feeling a familiar pang of anxiety at the thought of joining a group of people she didn't know well. But as she stared back at Jack, she swallowed all her fears and walked over, taking a controller.

As she settled in next to them, Libby felt a sense of normalcy wash over her. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she could just be herself, without the weight of everyone's expectations or the glare of being perceived.

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

BUNGA (FLOWER) | FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

gender neutral.

summary; you’re megumi’s dream person.

note; i wrote this bcs my birth name is actually a type of flower ugh the self indulgence also i like butterflies. also inspired by a song called bunga by masdo. i recommend listening to the song while reading. bunga means flower in malay!! also pls open the gif for better quality.

YOU REMIND MEGUMI OF A FLOWER. white orchids; they symbolize purity. and that’s exactly what you are to him.

fushiguro megumi remembers this one day when he and tsumiki had went to a flower garden together. he didn’t know why tsumiki suddenly felt like visiting a garden, but he followed anyway. he observed as his sister looked at the flowers around them, a smile never leaving her face and her eyes were practically sparkling. it felt nice to see his sister actually enjoy herself, especially after their parents got up and abandoned them, leaving tsumiki with all the house chores.

“look at all these flowers!”, tsumiki caressed the petals with her fingers, thumb gently gliding over the flowers, “they look so nice, don’t you think so megumi?”

megumi didn’t reply, he opted to stand beside his older sister. tsumiki explained the symbolisms of the flowers she knew of. the raven head looked stoic, as if he wasn’t listening to any of her words but the truth is, he was. he found the symbolism behind the white orchids particularly interesting. it suited the orchids’ physical appearance. white and innocence just made sense.

as the siblings chatted (though it technically was one sided on tsumiki’s part), a cat walked towards the duo. the ball of orange fur purred and nudged it’s head on tsumiki’s legs, immediately getting the teenage girl’s attention. she kneeled down, her previous smile growing wider.

petting the cat, she looked up at her younger brother, “aren’t cats so adorable?”.

“yeah,” megumi uttered. a lie. he wasn’t a big fan of cats, he found them annoying. dogs are better, that’s what he believed in but he didn’t have the heart to say that to his sister. not when she looks the happiest she had been in a while.

“and the weather’s really nice today!”, she added, eyes glancing up at the sky. the sun was glaring right into her eyes, so her pupils shrunk. she didn’t mind however, she had always loved sunny days. the sunlight shone right above their heads, and megumi didn’t like it. he could feel drops of sweat trickling down his back, causing his shirt to cling onto his skin. megumi much prefers when it’s cloudy, shades of grey in the sky, the perfect weather for staying at home and reading books.

even so, he just nodded, “mhm.”

shortly the sun started to set, spreading orange hues throughout the sky. flocks of birds returned to their nests, and so the fushiguro siblings made their way back to their abode. on their way tsumiki stole glances at her brother, letting out a dry chuckle everytime she notices the lack of expression on his face.

“you should smile more you know, megumi”, she ruffled his erratic hair, “you won’t get much friends if you keep on frowning like that”, she teased.

he grumbled, “i don’t care if i don’t have friends.”

megumi thought it was ridiculous. why would it matter, anyway? he’s fine being alone. people are bothersome; they’re too loud and they stress him out. especially the stupid punks in school who thinks they could do whatever they want. megumi simply shrugged and pushed his sister’s words out of his mind. scratch smiling and being likeable.

yet here he is, smiling at you. over no particular reason too.

currently, he’s walking along a beach with you. you; dressed up in a white sundress, a pair of sandals in your right hand. the sand burns under fushiguro’s feet but he couldn’t feel it over the fast thumping of his heart, he couldn’t feel the heat when his whole skin is tingling. he trolls behind you, walking over the footsteps you made. your sundress flows to the rhythm of your walk, flying slightly up when the wind blows your way, exposing the plush skin of your thighs. fushiguro looks away from your figure, his fair complexion tinted with blush.

you’re his best friend, he’s not supposed to look at you like that.

“it’s so nice here, megumi!”, you call out to him as you stand at the edge of the sea. waves crash, they trickle up to your toes. with a smile you hold up your hand for megumi to hold.

bashfully, megumi walks up to you and takes your hand in his. he’s reluctant, for he dislikes his hands. they’re cold and filled with callouses. so when you grip his hand as though you didn’t intend to let go, when your thumb rubs against his, he feels less insecure of his hands. the sensation of your hand in his is hot, it burns; however it feels nice.

megumi fushiguro hates warmth, but if it’s your warmth, he’d enjoy burning in heat.

the sand by the sea doesn’t feel hot on your feet. the waves get bigger and bigger; till they reach up to your ankles. you giggle because it tickled, the sound of your laughs reaching megumi’s ears. he turns to his side to see you crouching down, collecting the water in your hands.

that’s when megumi concluded, your whole existence screams purity.

a week later megumi meets you again. sometime at 11pm, by an oak tree—your usual meeting spot. the oak tree is large, it’s impossible to miss it. you stand under the oak tree, allowing dried leaves to fall onto your head, getting stuck in your hair. you know megumi would get all the leaves out of your hair. he does it everytime. he’ll pick out all the leaves out of your hair while lecturing you, though his words enter one ear then out from another. no matter how many times he says “i can’t do this all the time”, even he himself knows he would.

from afar megumi watches his best friend run around the flower field, chasing butterflies. your hair gets swept away by the wind as your hands stretch up to the sky, desperately trying to get a butterfly to land on your hand. you’re wearing a jumpsuit, the white color of the material truly brought out your skin tone. your complexion is glistening, and it makes megumi’s heart throb.

“they’re scared of you, y/n,” he finally says, putting both your hands down. the butterflies fly away from your sight, and you pout.

“but they’re so pretty,” you sigh, watching as the butterflies choose to fly anywhere but on your fingers. and then one lands on top of megumi’s shoulder.

your eyes widen, holding the sides of megumi’s figure to make him stay still. megumi could see sparks in your eyes when you admire the blue butterfly. soft is the expression you wear on your face. he likes it on you. that cute expression of yours makes megumi fall five times harder for you even when he knows he shouldn’t.

“you’re like a flower ‘gumi. it likes you.”

ridiculous, he thinks. you’re the flower. it’s obvious by the way your body moves under the moonlight, and how insanely beautiful you are.

fushiguro megumi doesn’t say anything in return, as always. he rarely does. if possible, he wants to avoid you from finding out just how in love he is with you.

after that day, you never show up under the oak tree, a few minutes distance from jujutsu high. he’ll wait for hours long only to be disappointed.

--at least not until his birthday comes, about a few months later. his face turns pale once he spotted you. you wait by the jujutsu high gate with a wide smile on his face, as if you didn’t ghost him for three months.

"glad to see you doing okay," the apple of your cheeks seem more prominent when you smile, megumi feels an urge to kiss them.

"i haven't seen you in so long," megumi mumbles, "happy to see you here today."

you grin and hold up your hand for him to take per usual, and didn’t mutter anymore words until the two of you reach a café in the outskirts of tokyo.

“nice café,” the raven comments , glancing at you. you’re wearing a puffy sleeved white blouse now—honestly, do you only own white clothes?

“found it on instagram”, you mutter, “i thought you’d like it. happy birthday, megumi.”

megumi smiles for the first time today. as a jazz song plays, he eats the birthday cake you purchased for him quietly. the cake tastes delicious (to be fair, anything you buy him is perfect) because it’s not too sweet. the fact that you remember his preference makes his smile grow a little wider.

you hum to the song and rest your head on his shoulder. it seems like the two of you are the only ones in the café—a much needed privacy. you’re usually touchy with him, and he prefers affection to be private. typically they make megumi blush, and he doesn’t want people to witness him all flustered.

“did you miss me, megumi?”, he replies to your question by nodding and placing his hand on top of yours.

serenity is this feeling, megumi thinks.

at the corner of the café stands an antique grandfather clock. it’s sounds are so loud, they resonate the whole environment. megumi suddenly becomes hyper aware of the sound, there’s a pounding in his head. the sound becomes louder and louder, to the point where megumi couldn’t feel your skin under his. he shuts his eyes close, an impossibly bright light glares his eyes.

“fushiguroooo!”, an annoying voice yells. itadori’s voice, megumi is certain.

the pounding in his head slows down. his sapphire eyes flutter open, and he realizes the light he saw was sunlight rays peeking through his blinds.

“seriously fushiguro, we’ve been calling you for an hour now. hurry up, we’re going out to eat in five. to celebrate your birthday”, megumi looks up to see nobara standing behind itadori. 

they’re both leaning against his door frame. itadori is dressed in a yellow hoodie, while nobara rocks a coat over a turtleneck. the female sorcerer holds her toy hammer tight in her grip, her eyes boring through megumi’s figure. by her posture, megumi guesses she was about to hit him with the squeaky hammer if only he didn’t wake up sooner.

fucking menaces, they could’ve left him to sleep for a little more. he hasn’t seen you in so long, he wanted to sleep in to spend time with you.

finally rubbing his eyes awake, the boy looks at the vase of orchids sitting on his nightstand. he sighs before standing up.

megumi will find you someday, he promises. if you’re a flower, he’ll gladly be the butterfly.

✉ taglist: @aliteama @dearsukuna @cybergoo @hanniemilk @ariasann @soulasdarkascoffee @okusetomura @eidotheiapriv @maat-the-prescriptive @etoilezone @elipres @scarednekozz @iridescentkitsune @crapimahuman @nectar0sw33t @hq149 @bluedelphinium @bokutos-babyowl @behan @tdntu0 @sunaluvs @guardianangelswings @fairywriter-oracle @inu-makki @erinisbadger

tagging; @candleohappiness , @haru-senji <333

long rant abt past few months. (pls don't reblog)

tw: e/ting disorder, d/pression, s/cide, racial issues, d/ath + grief

lately, i think on my blog i've been having a crisis with myself. i think it sounds dramatic but also i think that it has been a battle of taking it lightly and saying this is the internet and its just random people or oh wow, people are actually triggering me to starve and kill myself and maybe i should restart or quit.

i have never spoken about this but i have struggled with eating for more than a decade and i have had depression/anxiety since i was ten years old. i lost all of my grandparents during the pandemic and had to move back home in order to help and support my family in this time of grief and sadness. i already thought about ending my life numerous times and covid made that harder too. but, i didn't think that the weight of anonymous people telling me to k*ll myself would make me go back into this dark cloud of me and that i have to put on this face and act a certain way on the internet in order to be respect.

i have gone through periods of depression and starving myself as more of a punishment on myself than others. i dont think that i deserve to... be on a platform if all i focus on are the criticizes of my opinion or my writing. i question how i can be perfect and well-liked, and will i be able to do that and starving myself and ending my life seemed like an option because maybe if i somehow ended my life, then no one would have to care? sort of how i thought about it over the past few months. and it was over people i've never met.

i emphasize so much that this isnt a pity post. im not asking you to take my side in my opinion bc i had some major but effective events in my life and im not asking for anyone's (especially anons) pity but just want anyone to sort of understand that i am a human behind my screen and so are all the other people getting this unnecessary hate about something that doesn't involve any of us.

at first, i thought that it would die down and i mean at the end of the day (and to this day still as a tom fan), i dont really care about tom and zendaya's relationship being real. i mainly care that tom is happy, healthy and okay in general and not working himself ragged because he feels like he's not doing enough. thats my main purpose as a blog and omy posts have changed over the past few years.

but, i dont think its fair that because i dont hold as much of a candle or liking to zendaya as i used to that i get comments about how "ill never be her" which also compare my size to hers, how im ugly, how that makes me racist/anti-black and that ill never be at her level when those were never my intentions to begin with. i dont want to be zendaya nor be like her and ive never said i wanted to. i know that i am myself and who i am doesn't matter to her and who she is doesn't matter to me. but using tom as that main reasoning and saying that because he finds her attractive that it automatically makes me unattractive is an unfair and crazy statement.

i think she's a beautiful person, but i never changed that opinion (aka calling her ugly or stick thin) because i "didn't like their relationship". i just have seen enough on insider celebrity couples over the years and how they use PR to their advantage. it's not an uncommon idea in hollywood where your one goal is to maintain fame.

i did like her for a period of time, but she's not my fav anymore and when i said that, suddenly it's like i hated her and i wanted her to burn. i just don't like her anymore, and that's okay, but respect my mutuals that do like her and her content / her and tom's relationship (in a healthy way and not an obsessive way).

ik i made a long post as well differentiating racism from hating zendaya and obviously, some stans were very upset by it by thinking it was a hate speech within itself. i didn't state my own opinion, but facts and articles while also trying to get the point across of privacy. dating or not, it's always been about their privacy and keeping them safe and that's still what i want for both of them.

i mean, the backlash was intense. looking back, i regret speaking on it because it wasn't fully my place to speak on racist issues of a black person, but i was mainly trying to point out how saying you don't like someone isnt always the result of racism. but i never meant to make it seem i was cancelling out racism as a reason. some people can be incredibly racist / use micro-aggressions, but i know deep down that's not every single person's intentions. especially not because of a ship. i did a lot of research before posting this by looking up articles and watching other youtubers rants as well. i apologize to anyone who took thought that was my intent or that i was trying to have this huge savior complex.

people went as far as making fun of my hobbies, music, race and what i like, just taking any little thing about me. especially people who i thought were my mutuals then who went behind my back and talked shit about me without even telling me first about their opinion privately. then once i did @ them, one of my mutuals messaged me instantly and begged me to take the post down calling them out.... it was all about saving her over saving our friendship. then they went and blocked me. it felt like betrayal from left field.

is it fair or me to analyze a possibly staged picture? yes, because its up to anyone's opinions and we all obviously have different ones. but at the end of the day, i hope that tom and zendaya both feel safe and not actually overexposed and uncomfortable. god forbid there was ever a leak of addresses, phone numbers and even places they go to. all i'll say is, give them space, but have whatever opinion you want on them. it's fine.

im not hoping this post stops the anon hate either. ive gotten better at ignoring it since i realize its from this anonymous person who doesnt know me, follow me or care about me. they just care about my opinion and that opinion only which is just so weird to me. i mean, even people say im a white girl and that makes me worse, when i put that i am korean in my bio / on mycarrd.co as well. i think it says more about them than it does me.

at the end of the day, im here to write and talk to my mutuals over whatever we want. whether it's tom, marvel, spider-man, or dogs and cats. i just stay here when i know i have support from my friends and i can be myself and know that ill always be able to talk to them when problems arise like these.

i hope anyone who is struggling or going through a tough time that anon hate is so small, and that you will conquer the other problems around you bc they are priorities of your life and not the internet. if you ever need to talk, feel free to message me or ask for my discord. i really want my blog to remain a safe space and nothing something full of hate so, i really hope that if any anon who has sent me hate reads this and maybe just backs off a bit. just because i dont agree with you doesnt mean i hate you and your opinions, but we can both just look the other way and go on with our lives. its just that easy

Fandom Rant Time:

okay. So with all of the, frankly disgusting and terrible, things I have seen on here lately I couldn’t hold my tongue any longer. I’m probably gone lose followers over this but honestly I don’t care. If you unfollow me for this I don’t want you here anyways. block me. send hate. I literally do not give a single fuck anymore.

This fandom is fucking exhausting sometimes.

I sat here and silently watched as people spout (likely very very false) rumors about one of the seemingly most genuine and kind men out there. The speculate about his sex life, talk about personal information, give out information about where he is living/staying for periods of time, talk about his sexuality, talk about how he is in bed, talk about other disgusting and very personal things and I am TIRED of it.

I am tired of seeing these disgusting things on my dash. I am tired of seeing RPF fic sexualizing and fetishizing the fact that Pedro is Latino or sexualizing his Chilean culture/upbringing yet the same fucking people go and attack others for using Spanish in FICTIONAL characters fan fiction.

Now, before people come for me - I did at one point write RPF for Pedro when I got into this fandom. But I have since learned that it is very very distasteful and I have since removed those works from my masterlists. Just as I feel others should do but whatever. I just ignore/block/blacklist people that do post RPF. 

But jfc, I’m tired.

I’m tired of keeping my mouth shut. I’m tired of sitting in the back row and trying to keep my head down to avoid hate and controversy. I’m tired of watching on as people continue to make this Fandom a toxic and disgusting invasion of privacy of a man we all love and adore.

It’s okay to look at him and go “hey, he’s attractive, I’d tap that” or to even have sexual fantasies. we ALL do that with a lot of celebrities. But it is NOT okay to openly theorize about how he is in bed, or how well endowed he is, or Where he lives, or what his sexuality is. Do that with the characters he plays all day long bc they are FICTIONAL.

Pedro Pascal is a real, living, breathing, person who deserves respect and privacy even though he is famous.

If he wants us to know these things about him he will tell us. If he wants us to know his sexuality, he will tell us. Until then can we just please stop? Can we please stop with the rumors and the disgusting sexual comments? Because I know if it were a woman in his place a lot more of you all would be up and at em’ about this. I also know that most of you all would not want to read the stuff that has been discussed if it was about you either.

so yeah. I’m just done. and I’m tired.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk I guess.

✱  kim  doyeon.  she  /  her.  cis  female.  —  i  know  that  theodora  “  theo  ”  jung  is  one  of  the  roses.  which  makes  sense  because  the  twenty  year  old’s  parents  are  hollywood  royalty  known  for  producing  and  recording  multi-platinum  awarded  albums.  rumors  say  that  they  are  the  quixotic  of   the   group  ,  but  who  knows  if  that’s true.  +  plucking  petals  off  of  daisies  in  the  name  of  a  crush  ,  steeping  teabags  for  too  long  ,  the  scent  of  perfume  left  behind  on  a  pillowcase.

                   hello  !  im  xan  and  im  late  as  usual  but  alas  ...  😔  im  22  ,  from  the  est  timezone  (  even  though  my  sleeping  schedule  …  does  not  reflect  that  sjbdwjkbdjdw  )  &  i  go  by  she  /  her  pronouns  !  i  truly  ...  never  know  what  im  doing  with  intros  they  just  turn  out  long  &  messy  aha  ... are  u  ready  ?  *jungkook vc*  let’s  get  it  !  😋

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     QUICK STATS  !

full name: theodora marie jung.

nickname(s): theo, teddy, dora (  but only by bullies 😠 ).

zodiac: libra sun, aqua moon ( click ! ) 

sexuality: bisexual.

occupation: singer / songwriter, model. 

birthplace: los angeles, california.

current residence: wherever this rp is taking place aha x

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     BACKSTORY ! ( tw: sexual themes )

so her parent’s story was actually a pretty big scandal in the 90′s ! basically theo’s mom was the pretty famous front woman of a band ( think stevie nicks in fleetwood mac ) who was long engaged to the guitarist of that same band....until one day it was announced she was quitting the group and starting her solo career, leaving her fiance, and signing to a new label.....which was run by theo’s father, a young up & coming producer taking over the family business. not even three months later theo’s mom releases her first solo album, produced and co-written by theo’s father, basically detailing this years long affair the two had been having... in a series of really catchy, moving, and wildly successful songs. 

the public went crazy over the drama, especially when rumors started circulating ( through detailed analysis of the lyrics to all of theo’s mom’s solo songs ) that the well known band had actually been quite toxic. basically it was enough to convince media outlets and fans alike to forgive theo’s parents for being cheaters and breaking up the band JSDBWBDJWBD. by the time theo was born in the last year of the iconic decade that launched both her parents into stardom, everyone couldn’t be happier the two stars were getting the happy life they deserved <3

so here comes baby theo.....and the world kind of just immediately labels her as america’s sweetheart. her mom had some minor health issues which just meant it would be safer to not have anymore kids after theo, so not only was she this little angel to the public, she was also her parent’s little miracle baby ! lets just say she had some big shoes to fill bc of all the expectations ..

luckily no one had to worry abt her being a demon child JSBDJWDWJ because she turned out to be a very sweet kid ! she was a HUGE daydreamer since she spent a lot of time alone growing up </3 her mom had retired from singing and was now helping theo’s dad run the label, and the two of them were always busy looking for new talent to sign. she didn’t have any siblings and although she had a really attentive nanny it just .. wasn’t the same ?? so to #Cope JSBDWBSBDJW theo was always creating these super elaborate little fantasy worlds. it wasn’t uncommon for u to find her deeply engrossed playing barbies alone like she had scripts and everything 

by the time she was a preteen her parents were both really pressuring theo into thinking about a singing career, so wanting to please them ( and knowing that it was something she was kinda into anyway ) theo said ok sure ! and that’s where.....things start to take a turn. since she was so young she had this very very clean, innocent, cute image ( think disney stars ) & most of the music she was making was used for kids shows or movies. she didn’t really mind it so much but she noticed that her creative process wasn’t really valued ? or taken very seriously by her parents, because in their eyes like that’s their kid you know she’s still young, she’s always had her head in the clouds, they just really didn’t think it was a big deal if they took control. 

so theo put up with it, but the years kept going by, she kept getting older, and nothing was really changing. she still had a squeaky clean image, little say in the type of music she was making, but on the outside everything looked great. the public loved her, she was a role model for kids ( even though she was a teenager now ), it was all perfect.....until it wasn’t. when she was 16, she had a scandal akin to the vanessa hudgen’s nude photo leak, except it wasn’t as explicit ( not a nude, just a suggestive pic ) and it was way way worse considering theo was a minor. 

legal action was immediately taken by her parents, but once something’s out there you can’t really stop it from circulating, so the photos existed, just not on any official media sites. it was traumatizing for theo having her privacy breached like that, especially because instead of talking about how disgusting it was that someone would leak those photos when she was just a teen, gossip sites & fans alike were too busy talking about how her image was ruined. since she’d had such a clean, innocent reputation, people kinda forgot that... she was an actual person going through life growing up, and that she wasn’t perfect. 

theo, being the optimist she is, was like hey you know what? this is my chance to stop making music i dont love. after what was probably her first truly honest convo with her parents, they agreed she should be free to figure herself and her art out. so for the remainder of her teenage years theo fell off the face of the music world....

only to pop back up in the modeling one ! like most celebrities, social media had a big say in this. since reputation wasn’t something theo had going for her anymore, what she did have was a hell of a following still and two famous parents ( not to mention ... shes tall JSBDJWBDWJ ) she did maybe one runway show before deciding she hated that. tbh she hated any modeling that felt too constricting, which is why she never ended up doing anything for big names & mostly does stuff for foreign brands & magazines. 

she liked how much aesthetics had to do with modeling, and to some extent being a part of shoots satisfied that creative itch she had, but music was always her first love. theo really wanted to go back and revisit it, but she was scared the public’s reaction wouldn’t be what she hoped /: 

so following in her mother’s footsteps, theo’s re entrance into the music scene was an ep ( 100% written, produced, edited, you name it, by her ) she released on the eve of her 18th bday basically explaining everything she went through with art. it was only four songs + an interlude, which would become the most talked about part of the whole thing because it was snippets of various reporters talking about that photo leak.

the public had mixed feelings ! unlike with what happened with her parents, not everyone was ready to “forgive” theo. and since she hadn’t done any promo for her music, or for her career as an artist independent from her parent’s famous label, it wasn’t like she was making crazy money and getting all this recognition. but !! she was insanely insanely happy, and that’s when she realized making music wasn’t something she did for other people, just something she liked to share, so what did it really matter if she could be more famous if she was an artist under her parent’s label ? 

cue present day theo, model & singer, although the labels are pretty loose. although her music is getting way more recognition than it did three years ago, she’s still trying to do things independently from her parents, and she still has yet to become a chanel ambassador or anything crazy SDWBKWKFW. because of that she’s kind of garnered this new reputation for herself as one of those celebs that don’t really feel like celebs, like maybe she’s just like u except let’s be real she’s rich and her experiences are NOT universal even if her cute insta pic talking about ~her feelings~ in the caption makes u think they are

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     PERSONALITY + TIDBITS !

not even gonna lie to u guys....she is baby. i dont mean that in a uwu shes 20 but im gonna weirdly make her act like a child way im not a freak shes just baby ! like i mentioned earlier theo was a HUGE daydreamer growing up, and tbh she still is except now that’s she’s older her overactive imagination can kinda get her into trouble. a good example of that is the fact that since she’s so keen to see the silver linings in life and the bright sides, she can neglect the bad sides of people and situations so things still fit into her romanticized vision /: this was the cause for many heartbreaks in theo’s life, and she’s still guilty of doing this although she’s trying to work on it !

very much the kind of person to treat everyone like a friend ( that means strangers too ) until you prove you should be treated otherwise. it takes a lot for her to not fuck with you, so if she doesn’t like you then you probably did something to deserve it /: she’s always had a curious personality as well so it’s really easy for her to connect with people just because she’s constantly fascinated by what she doesn’t know about a person. sometimes it can make ppl uncomfortable just how casually she can have a deep convo, but she just never had that filter where she has to know you for 5 years before she opens up about her trauma </3 you know how when bp’s rose and red velvet’s joy had dinner for the first time rose made joy cry bc she was talking abt her family and stuff ? JSDBWBDW theo is rose ... she’s out there sharing trauma deepening that bond day 1 of knowing you baby !  🤧

despite all that she’s still kind of maintained this elusive air to her? it’s not like she does it on purpose, or like no one knows the real her, it’s more like just when you’ve learned one new thing about her you realize there’s that many more things you don’t know. it also doesn’t help the fact that she’s constantly romanticizing everything, most of all herself, so she’s really crafted this “dream girl” persona without fully realizing it. im not exaggerating when i say john green wants what she has </3 

a lot of times people see her as naive, not because she often sees the good in people or anything like that ( although she does ), but because she has this overwhelming sureness that everything works out in the end. to be fair though, for her, things usually do. call it good karma, luck, whatever you want, but the fact of the matter is even when it looks like there’s no way a situation can turn out well for her, somehow it does. it’s a healthy combination of money, privilege, and a charming personality but to theo it’s proof that she’s right.

naturally.....as an air sign JSBDJWBJWBD she’s a huge flirt ! the media’s always linking her to someone because she really makes it seem like she’s dating half of hollywood when the reality is she’s just being friendly. when she actually likes someone it kind of turns into a huge deal like she gets infatuated with her crushes, swears she’s in love — and then poof. one day she wakes up & realizes she’s kinda over it ... until the next person comes along of course <3

hates conflict and confrontation.....and i mean HATES it to the point where she doesn’t even confront stuff within herself ( i.e. “negative” feelings like sadness ) until one day it all bubbles over and she’s having a legit breakdown and dying her hair red. 

yes, that’s exactly what happened last year, although if you ask theo about it she’ll just be like aha what do you mean i just wanted red hair luv x 

pictures like these ( click ! ) of theo when she'd be walking around LA in her school uniform used to go viral on twitter. 

desperately wishes she was the type of singer ppl would throw their bras at on stage when the reality is she’s out there making some chill bedroom pop kind of stuff so rip that dream </33333 

knows how to play the piano and the guitar, but keeps joking one day she’s gonna make an album and only use her recorder as the instrumentals.

has a white british longhair kitty named zoe.

is 100% that bitch that can only drink sweet drinks & fruity cocktails and u know what she’s valid for it ! 

if she wasn’t famous she’d be making slime. legit running a slime making insta, those were her guilty pleasure & shes so mad they aren’t that popular anymore JSBDJWBDJW

u know that post that’s like “i hate making tea i always feel so bad about throwing away the tea bag i feel like i should just eat it” ? thats theo 

━  ˙ ˖  ☆     WANTED CONNECTIONS !

BEST FRIENDS: a power duo the public either loves or hates, ride or dies, that 1 person theo would drop everything for no matter what.....yeah 🥺 they’d be the person she’s closest to & vice versa !   

CHILDHOOD / FAMILY FRIENDS: their famous parents were friends, so it’s only natural they wanted their kids to be friends too. just imagine the stories ..... the memories .... maybe they got along really well and are still friends today ! or maybe theo pushed your muse off of the swings ( she claims it was an accident ) and your muse never forgot and to this day they’re sworn enemies.....</3 or less dramatic......they just drifted apart and now it’s like hey we used to be so close aha thats awkward let me just smile at you and walk away ....

LIKE SIBLINGS: someone who sees theo as a sister, and who theo considers her unofficial sibling. most likely she’s gonna bother the shit out of this person as siblings do but they really mean a lot to her because it’s the family she never had /: 

CONFIDANTS: the one person theo keeps finding herself talking about the things she usally keeps inside with. i think it’d be funny if both of them find it weird to do things like go out to lunch or shop together because that’s not what they’re used to !

ACQUAINTANCES: friends who are only really friends when both of them are wasted or friends who only comment heart eye emojis and fire sign emojis under each others insta posts but don’t actually talk much for whatever reason

FRIENDS THAT DATED: maybe things just ended amiably between them, or maybe it’s like an “everyone told us we should date so we tried it and boy was that the weirdest thing we ever did” situation. either way the outcome is they’e still friends <3

CAHOOTS: what is this u may ask ? someone theo can be in cahoots with. she has a dumb idea that no one else is likely to say yes to? she goes to ur muse. ur muse has an idea no one in their right mind would say yes to? they go to theo. these two are in cahoots !  

BAD INFLUENCE: although that america’s sweetheart reputation is gone, overall theo is still seen as a “good girl” by the public. she’s not one to be in a lot of scandals so i think it’d be really fun if your muse is corrupting that ( whether they’re doing it on purpose or not ) and whenever theo’s with them she just somehow always manages to end up in trouble. 

THE BIG EX: theo’s first real relationship, and first real heartbreak. everyone before them had been an infatuation, but your muse was the real deal. maybe the media ruined it, or they ruined it themselves by being too scared of their feelings to stick around, or maybe one of them was willing to try but the other wasn’t. either way it ended badly, and whether those feelings are resolved or not....thats a secret i’ll never tell x

SUMMER FLINGS: give me past & current ( or maybe even recurring ) summer flings where they both know it’s temporary but boy is it fun while it lasts. google their names together and you’ll find paparazzi snapshots on the backs of vespas, on million dollar yachts, holding hands in museums or sunbathing on the beach but by the time fall comes creeping in the romance is over. 

HOOKUPS: friends with benefits and it’s not awkward between them, friends with benefits and it’s super weird between them because they may be crossing over into real feeling territory, one night stands / hookups that were huge mistakes, one night stands or hookups that were or are being kept secret from the rest of the roses for whatever reason, someone who leads theo on but never gets serious about her, or someone she leads on but she never gets serious about, her go-to hookup on a night out when she’s partying, etc. 

WILL THEY WON’T THEY: a friendship that always teeters on the line of something romantic ! maybe they’re both oblivious to the chemistry / tension or maybe they’re aware of it because they get jealous when they hear about the other being with someone else… maybe they refuse to do anything about it because they don’t want to complicate things or maybe they purposefully cross lines when they feel that jealousy…..could be more angsty or it could be more wholesome depending on which way it goes 😈

ARTIST TO ARTIST: i don’t think .... we have any other singers / ppl in the music industry but i could for sure be wrong JSBDSJBDJWD but ! i still would love to have people theo’s worked with before. maybe if your muses has been acting since they were little, theo could have mingled with them back when she was doing music for kids shows & movies. maybe your muse is a model and theo and them have done shoots together before. maybe theo’s written a current song for a movie / tv show your muse was a part of. maybe your muse is a model and theo asked them to feature on the cover of one of her albums. maybe she hired your muse to act in the music video of one of her songs ! maybe your muse can also sing even though that’s not their main thing and theo’s asked them to feature on a song with her. there are soooo many possibilities that could be lots of fun <33

MISC: “we used to party together all the time until that one thing happen that neither of us talk about and now we don’t do that anymore”, someone who took care of drunk theo once and ever since then she’s taken that as an open invitation to knock on your muse’s door at 3 am completely wasted, “we tried to date but the paparazzi caught us on a date and we were too scared / sick of the public eye so we never got far”, flirty friends who say no i’d never sleep with you haha…unless you’re down?, your muse was theo’s first time OR theo was your muse’s first time, stereotypical happy go lucky and grumpy relationship where the grumpy muse pretends not to enjoy the other’s presence, enemies but it can’t be anything petty it would have to be pretty serious so if u want that drama.... 

that’s the end i promise it’s finally over 😭😭😭 i truly just ramble & ramble im really so sorry abt that JSDJWBDJWBDJWBDJW i tried to include as much info as possible to make plotting a little easier for all of us so lets pray this works </3 u can come message me on discord to plot @ seulgi ily ʕ´• ᴥ•̥`ʔ#8172 so give this a like if u wanna .... do that ahahahaha x 

(for context, i made a post asking if this anon would b comfy telling me if she was a part of the lgbt community because i would be able to answer more quickly & with more nuance if i knew! my response would’ve been very different for the first ask if it had come from a cis/het person)

hi b!!!!!!!! ty so much for sending me this ask! this is a conversation i’ve had with friends a number of times & i think it’s really good to talk about so i’m really glad to have the chance to talk about it on my blog!

(under the cut because this got long)

i really feel you on this entire situation, tbh- i really hate to assume people’s sexualities, especially people who i don't actually know, bc doing that enforces gender roles & stereotypes so much of the time. especially when it's straight people doing the assuming? like, straight people talking about having good "gaydar" for me feels like them talking about being good at stereotyping people based on mannerisms etc and it makes me so fucking uncomfortable!

i'm 100% of the opinion that unless someone has the agency in telling people they're lgbt (like, they get to come out on their own terms, or they're so comfortably out that you'd maybe hear them referred to with pronouns besides he/she or hear about a same-gender partner when hearing about them in conversation)? nobody should be making a definitive assumption or trying to find proof or support of any perspective on their sexuality. people should get to be as closeted or as out as they're comfortable being, bc more than anything all lgbt people deserve to feel safe.

that said? i feel like lgbt ppl have actual "gaydar" but that it's not the same thing straight people say "gaydar" is. i think that for lgbt people, it has as much to do with being able to identify homophobic or transphobic straight or cis people (bc there are transphobic lgb folx, why do people. DO that) and being able to identify what straight/cis people are safe to be around as it does being able to find other lgbt people. it's more of a survival mechanism than a way of identifying people who are different, the way it functions for straight people.

so like? idk. over the past few years my concept of whether it's okay to speculate about a celebrity's sexuality has shifted a little? when i was in high school & recently out of it, i was more firmly against the idea that someone could tell if xyz celebrity wasn't straight, and super firmly believed that the only way you could know was if they said as much in words.

so what changed?

i experienced the world more, and i've learned so much about the lgbt community and about myself.

one of the big turning points for me was kristen stewart; i was never a super huge fan of hers, but i saw posts fairly often speculating that she and alicia cargile were together. not posts by like, news outlets or anything, posts by other wlw who were saying 'i see the way that kstew is dressing and acting and what she & alicia cargile are sharing of their relationship with the public and news articles keep calling them live-in gal-pals etc but that's exactly how i dress and behave and how my relationship with my girlfriend looks and how people treat our relationship when they're refusing to acknowledge the fact that we're lgbt."

also at the time i started seeing a lot of posts that were saying that the speculation was shitty, and for a hot minute i felt awful for seeing and reblogging posts & hoping/believing that they were girlfriends. the next wave of discourse tho was about how it was okay to speculate and hope if you were just an individual who was also lgbt, and how it was only shitty when it was invasive paparazzi and tabloids who had a platform that could actually disrupt her life and put pressure on her to come out. it was about power; one lesbian or bi or pan girl who was hoping a celebrity they looked up to was like them vs a business that doesn't have any investment in this besides to gain money/readership off of a celebrity's potential identity that had every right to keep their silence and privacy? it's two entirely different things.

i also went back to college in 2016, and realized that like. yeah it's shitty when straight people stereotype and assume things about people, but a lot of lgbt people don't want to be perceived as straight and intentionally dress and behave in ways that signal the fact that the're lgbt. i'm not a scholar on any of this; this is all from my lived experience. but i think it might be called flagging? i've seen the word a few times & just googled it & it seems right, even though i haven't read any of the articles for sure.

essentially it's a way of signaling to other lgbt people "hey i'm here and i'm also lgbt" without really having to disclose that info to all the straight people around you as well. and like, heteronormativity is a hell of a drug, you know? a lot of straight people are almost unwilling to pick up on the signals that someone's lgbt.

an example i can think of is like, lgbt people using non-gendered terms to refer to their significant other or any exes around straight people; it's not lying, and it leaves the opportunity for any other lgbt people present to maybe connect with the person who's doing the pronouns dance at a later point in time in a one on one setting.

another example would be like, butch and gender nonconforming wlw making their identity clear in the way they dress and behave? the song ring of keys from the musical fun home is about a young girl seeing a butch lesbian for the first time and going !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! same!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! even without having the words. it's lgbt people broadcasting their identity for other lgbt people, not for straight people. it doesn't get seen or talked about as much because of that, but that doesn't make it any less real.

so how does this relate back to dnp?

i'm firmly of the opinion that the're like, doing this. they're living their lives without the complete self-censorship they used to have and because of that openness a lot of lgbt ppl see them, we see the ways in which dan and phil are quietly sharing the fact that they're not straight with us, and i think it's okay to accept that for what it is.

like? i genuinely am willing to argue that dan came out in his diss track. you look at that, and you look at him talk about labels in a liveshow (this video genuinely helped me a lot while i was going through the process of finding the right labels for myself) and you look at all of trying to live my truth or the fact that in dan's rebranding video part of the old branding that was going up in flames was gender rolls (i still have a screenshot of that on my phone). it's also in the countless ways he alludes to being attracted to men, and the ways he rejects a lot of the tenants of masculinity that society prescribes in the ways he dresses and presents himself to the world; that's not an inherently lgbt thing to do, but i think it's true that a majority of lgbt ppl experience gender more consciously than straight people do.​

i'm not going to lie and say i'm aware of as many specific details in regards to phil that indicate his sexuality-i do know less off the top of my head, but not because i don't love phil, just because dan means more to me personally in regards to my queerness and the ways i navigate my identities. phil also tends to share way less of himself with the internet than dan does? like, we know a lot of specifics about who dan is and who dan has been but despite knowing a lot of fluff about phil, we know less substantial information and that's super fucking valid and i love his double aquarius sagittarius rising enigmatic ass exactly as is. and i know i have things in my he likes boys tag about both of them, including (i think) at least one masterpost about phil.

which like, doesn't even bring us to the fact that i'm so sure they're together, too? it's not even like. things like the vd*y v*d, though that was still findable on tumblr when i joined the phandom in 2012.

i'm sure because i can look at dan and phil in the present, and the ways in which they function in eachother's lives, and the things they've said about their future together-the concept of a forever home, of getting a dog together,  the way that when either of them talks about a very old version of themself they talk about having kids & when you combine that with the idea of a forever home you kind of are left with only one implication- i look at all of those things and the ways they compare to my life, as a queer person in a long term committed relationship. and i know. i’m sure about them.

and i could go on. the thing that really gets me is how dan and phil, by all intents and purposes, hit all three sides of sternberg's triangle in his triangular theory of love; they've got the commitment of a shared life and they've talked about their shared future, they've got the intimacy of knowing and supporting each other for nine years and the close knowledge they have of each other is so great in volume that it's been the focus of what, two videos (the friendship test ones) and (spoilers, minorly) a section of ii? and in the way they look at each other, and in a lot of implications we've picked up on over the years, the passion is there, too.

they've fuckin got that good good consummate love, babeY.

they also constantly answer all of each other's bids, as per gottman's research/theories on successful relationships. i'm not gonna get too far into that, but it's what my like a sunflower tag is for.

and gosh, i've gotten rather off topic again. my apologies, b.

i guess the point is that like. as a queer person in a long term relationship, it's really easy for me to look at dan and phil and be sure that they're together. and i don't feel bad, anymore, thinking about that and speculating about it; i think it's ok for lgbt individuals to hope that the people they look up to are like them, and to talk about that hope.

and it would be nice, if dan and phil came out someday. stressful because of the fan reaction, i'm expecting a full meltdown if/when it happens (i'm leaning towards when, i think they want to get married someday).

but for me, i'm already sure. they've already given us so much and they don't owe us anything, we aren't entitled to them disclosing their identities, but i think they've already told us in subtle ways, a hundred times over. so my conscience is clear and my heart is sure, b. i hope yours can be too.

All 4 High School AU's

Stoner Lachlan: 

-Lives in his parents basement, because he wanted more privacy. -He smokes a lot and drinks a lot, but the idea of heavy drugs completely horrifies him. -Definitely has ‘parties’ (it’s just him and his buddies) where everyone gets high when his parents are out of town.

-Will not hesitate to do anything for his girl, she wants it, then she has it.

-Memorizes almost everything he finds out about her because he’s just that sweet.

-Super anxious about being in a relationship, because his only ex fucked him up REALLY bad.

-Always wants to hang out at home because it means you guys can do basically anything.

-He likes to think you guys will do the whole marriage thing one day, and if he gets his act together, maybe have kids.

Reader:

-Met Lachlan while trying to buy weed from him.

-She lives with her parents who are kind of helicopters, they’re not really fans of Lachlan but accept him because he makes her happy. -Wishes she could just run away sometimes, her parents fight a lot (dad cheated).

-Doesn’t know how she feels about love and struggles to believe Lachlan really wants forever with her.

-Always wants to hang out at Lachlan’s house and not her’s, because well, his parents love her and they’re super supportive (and let her stay the night)

-Wasn’t really in any big relationships before Lachlan, just a few short flings. -Hasn’t taken a love of pot the way Lachlan has, but definitely smokes when she’s with him from time to time.

What they do together, their songs, and some prompts that I think fit them:

-They usually just hang around in Lachlan’s basement smoking, drinking, or doing nothing. -She likes to watch him play video games, because it’s sort of an escape.

-Driving around (bonus feature: he has a stickshift car so his hand brushes her thighs when he drives)

-They like to go to parks and just walk around, it’s like a reminder the world’s still going on even if the moment might be rough.

Some songs for them: Fucked Up by Young Rising Sons, I Think I’m in Love by Kat Dahlia, and Weak When Ur Around by blackbear. Prompts for them: “You make me feel so damn gushy.” “I’m not gonna stop leaving marks ‘til I’m sure everyone will know you’re mine.”

“This is the strongest eggnog I’ve ever tasted.”

“You’ve been quiet lately.”

“You’ve shown me what love can feel like.”

“I wasn’t lying when I said that I loved you.”

Football Lachlan:

-Totally one of the jockiest men EVER.

-He only parties when the team wins a big game and he only ever drinks.

-When he does drink, he drunk texts A LOT.

-He loves seeing you at every single game because he swears you’re his good luck charm.

-VERY insecure with the relationship because you’re literally the best women in existence.

-He cares a lot about school and is hoping to get recruited by a college through football.

-Big ole softie for the reader.

-Makes sure to make time for you since both of you have a hectic schedule, though luckily both of you have your games together (Football and Cheerleading).

-Found you after a break-up with the quarterback, but everything’s okay after a few tense weeks of your relationship.

-His parents don’t really know how to feel about you because you seem too good to be true, but everyone at school loves you because you make the power couple.

Reader: -She’s cheerleading captain.

-Hates when people refer to her as ‘Lachlan’s girl’ because she feels like it’s viewing her as property rather than a person.

-Wishes she could convince Lachlan she loves his dorkiness so much, nobody else can compare to her hunk.

-Very supportive of everything Lachlan does and will not hesitate to be his designated driver if he needs her to be.

-Has snuck him into her bedroom on multiple occasions because her parents love him, but would kill her if they saw him in their house after 10pm.

-She’s on birth control and she makes Lachlan use a condom sometimes but they’ve had at least two pregnancy scares and she’s truly hoping to get better about this.

-Since she’s in good standings with the football coach, sometimes she sneaks onto their bus to motivate Lachlan pregame/ comfort him postgame.

What they do together, their songs, and some prompts that I think fit them:

-They go out to eat, a lot. Always celebrating with food.

-Make each other little playlists whenever they want to express how they feel.

-Hang out at one of the other player’s house for ‘team bonding’ (eating food and playing video games essentially while being dicks to each other)

-He loves driving her around but only if they’ve got somewhere to be.

-Try to bake sometimes but it never goes too well.

Some songs for them: Overwhelming by Jon Bellion, If I’m Lucky by State Champs, and All of Me by John Legend.

Prompts for them: “You’re so whipped.”

“You make me so happy.”

“I need one of those hugs that turns into sex.”

“They didn’t deserve you.”

“Lemme warm you up.” *Kissing in the snow*

“Would it be too cliche if we matched clothes a little?”

Fuckboy Lachlan:

-Honestly a party animal.

-Doesn’t give a shit about love and moreso just about having sex.

-His friends are all the same as him for the most part.

-He juuls and has no shame in the pods hidden around his room.

-Once you two are together, he makes sure to always have an offbrand watermelon pod on him, because he remembered it was your favorite.

-Also once you get together he literally changes his phone number because he doesn’t want his old girls to be trying to contact him.

-Definitely has some jealousy issues because he’s fucked over a bunch of girls, so he feels like karma will have you fuck him over.

-Hates his past decisions as soon as you walk into his life.

Reader:

-Doesn’t really care for juuling but sometimes if she’s trynna get Lachlan going she’ll take his juul.

-Has a really tightnit group of friends that almost all hate Lachlan bc of his reputation.

-Sometimes she has to defend her man to her friends.

-Definitely fights with Lachlan a good amount considering sometimes he unknowingly flirts with someone or he gets upset with her over something like a rumor/working with another guy on a school project.

-Forces Lachlan to do things she wants to do and he only follows through because he’s utterly whipped for her (and sometimes it leads to sexual favors).

-Always around Lachlan when she’s on her period because Lachlan’s warmth gets rid of her cramps.

-Needs constant reassurance that Lachlan isn’t gonna cheat on her.

What they do together, their songs, and some prompts that I think fit them:

-They watch (Y/N)’s tv shows at her house while cuddling because though Lachlan would never admit it, he doesn’t completely hate them.

-Make out a lot, it started as a friends with benefits thing and their relationship kind of has the same fundamentals except Lachlan doesn’t talk to other girls anymore.

-Go to sports games to make fun of the jock stereotypes.

-Lachlan and her have been on and off a lot, like it’s stupid and everyone knows they’ll get back together, but it happens.

-They go to the skatepark a lot because for some reason Lachlan’s friends hang there.

-Sometimes they go to the mall because Lachlan loves watching her try things on and he even lets her pick some things out for him.

Some songs for them:  Heaven’s Gate by Fall Out Boy, Ooh by Jon Bellion, and Cop Car by Sam Smith.

Prompts for them:

“Do you know that was the first time you ever told me you love me?”

“You deserve the best and that isn’t me.”

“So….. you wanna….hot chocolate and chill?” “If you ask me that one more time, I will dump hot chocolate on you.”

“So, are you guys dating or?”

“All the stores were sold out of condoms…”

“You mean this as a sex only thing, right? I don’t do relationships.”

Hockey Lachlan:

-Very obsessed with the sport and takes every play of every game seriously.

-Definitely gets possessive over you, especially at away games because he’s certain some other player is bound to hit on you at some point.

-Very open about his feelings, he’d rather talk about how he feels than deal with the silent treatment.

-Promised himself he’d never put a girl above hockey, but you’ve come damn near close to it (he convinces himself you’re at equal level, but deep down if it came down to it, he’d pick you).

-He realizes he’s in love with you when you skip one of his games during a fight and he finds himself heartbroken over it.

-Immediately after he goes to your house to bed for forgiveness.

-For some reason, his mom does not like you and it really upsets him because he just wants to spend a lot of time with you without having to fight his mom on it.

Reader:

-Hesitant to date Lachlan because you’re worried he doesn’t have time for a relationship, and you aren’t really a hockey fan.

-But you end up becoming obsessed with watching him play, though you may not know every rule by heart like some of the other fans.

-You wear his Jersey around all the time, whether it be to games or just around school, you love how it engulfs you.

-You’re never seen without this golden bracelet that has one single diamond heart on it, Lachlan got it for you for your one year anniversary.

-You keep cologne and men’s deodorant in your backpack because sometimes after a game or practice he just wants to go to your house/ his house before showering, so you make him put it on before letting him in your car.

-You get kind of bummed out whenever his games are away and you’re unable to make it, but you make sure to spam him your support through snaps of you with his jersey on.

What they do together, their songs, and some prompts that I think fit them:

-They gossip SO much. Not because of just (Y/N), Lachlan totally talks shit about some of his teammates.

-Go on coffee dates, and Lachlan sometimes brings her coffee to school because he knows how much she loves it.

-Since Lachlan always tries to be spontaneous, they do things like go to the aquarium or zoo, or even just go into the city to shop around for awhile (He always gets stuck carrying her bags).

-If either of their parents are out of town, they kind of just splurge in the amount of time they can spend together, overly excited about getting to cuddle all night long.

-Obviously they go to the hockey games together whenever (Y/N) can make it.

Some songs for them: Satellite by Mayday Parade, The Last of The Real Ones by Fall Out Boy, and Tear in My Heart by Twenty One Pilots.

Prompts for them: “Someday we will be able to go to bed together every night.”

“Why don’t you like ice skating?”

“Sorry for calling so late - I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“You’re my other half.”

“Cuddle?”

“Kiss the hell out of me. Please.”

tag game

Rules: tag 10 mutuals you want to know better.

@cloudedsunshines tagged me (ty!! lob ur blog)

Name: Em

Star Sign: sag sun but its bullshit fdsfh im a Taurus moon tho which is more accurate

Height: 5′4

Put your playlist on shuffle. What are the first four songs to come up?

these are from my july ‘18 playlist (i have manyyy playlists) ((also august was all kpop fdjkshg))

1. your shirt - chelsea cutler

2. beach bummer - no vacation

3. falling for u - peachy!, mxmtoon

4. talk is overrated - Jeremy zucker, blackbear

Ever had a song or poem written about you?

not that i remember,, i dated a girl who made a playlist for me and i try to not remember the time i dated a boy fjkdsg

When was the last time you played guitar?

last Friday! i miss it so much, i moved into my dorm yesterday and i don't have enough room/privacy for it here :(

also edit: as im finishing this my roommate (not in my room, but our rooms as connected thru our shared bathroom) started playing guitar and singing :( im so sad i cant have mine here)

Who is your celebrity crush?

i don't think i have anybody im like Obsessed with but i lov Zendaya plus some kpop idols butttttt

What’s a sound you love? What’s a sound you hate?

i rly love like any nature-y sounds,, plus any sound my dog makes, and the purring of my next door neighbor’s cat. she’s lovely. and my mom’s lil humming-singing she does in the car. i hate nails on chalkboard, foam rubbing together, that kind of thing

Do you believe in ghosts?

mayb idk. haven't thought abt it too much lol

How about aliens?

aliens for SURE ya. theyre out there. u kno. ya

Do you drive?

well i won’t too much anymore now that im at uni in the city. but ye, im decent but i only drive in the suburbs

What was the last book you read?

a long way gone, memoirs of a boy soldier by Ishmael beah (i think that's right) it was rly sad yet a good read but it was for the honors program at my school so i had to. before that i started reading fingersmith (i forget who its by) but i never got to finish it

Do you like the smell of gasoline?

ye

What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

i broke my leg when i was like 4 but last year i fractured my back bc im a dancer and it sucked so bad. its so much pain for such a long time and moving like at all would hurt. plus i had to wear a back brace that limited like all of my movement for the majority of my senior year and i had to sit out at dance for months. sucked.

Do you have any obsessions right now?

not rly but i guess like critical role right now. im trying to get caught up and im currently on ep 28 of the second campaign (no i haven't seen the first don't bully me, maybe someday). also loona. lov those talented gorls. other than that idk just whatever i rb at the time that isn't lesbian/girl stuff or humor stuff

Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

hmm not rly. theres some ppl who’ve done me wrong but i don't see them anymore. when i was in high school and had to see them i just ignored them.

In a relationship?

nop girls hmu im lonely :((

im tagging @curjous @elerryn @chaoticdyke @adoredpink @paintstainedgay @lyre-leaf @canheal @1999thot @lesbianfarmcore @liebstes if yall want to/haven't done it already

answer all the numbers

Yooran AU/scenario where yoosung has a popular gaming channel & streams his gameplay 

(under the read more)

yoosung is #2 in his server soooo... he’s probably well-known among other players?? 

(fuck idk how league of legends and world of warcraft work because ive never played either but. anyways.)

i dunno if its common for people with a really high ranking to be like mini-celebrities in the community but.. for the purposes of this whole shebang, yoosung is really well known 

and very popular especially because he goes out of his way to help out less experienced players even though he’s one of the big guys at the top, you know? very humble and very kind which only makes him stand out more

eventually people suggest that he try streaming on twitch (or “afreeca” which a lot of south korean gamers use i think?) and make a gaming channel. and he’s all for it!!!! 

yoosung’s channel gets popular pretty quickly?? he starts out at a solid point because his LOLOL buddies that he usually plays with and his guild members support his channel/streams a lot and spread the word (when they’re not playing w/ him while he streams ofc)... it doesn’t take long at all for it to rlly take off, and he gains a decently big following!!

he’s already been dating saeran for quite a while when he starts his channel but saeran is very shy so yoosung is careful to respect saeran’s privacy. when saeran is over while yoosung is streaming, he stays out of sight of the facecam and keeps quiet

yoosung’s LOLOL friends know him though bc he talks about his boyfriend every now and then in voice chat w/ them,  but also bc saeran is at his place a lot and they hear him in the background, or hear yoosung talking to him occasionally.

i guess at some point during one of his streams, his buddies casually ask where saeran is and they ask how he’s doing and all that... because he’s never in the streams at all and they haven’t heard from him in a while. 

yoosung’s like  “yeah he’s here! he’s doing alright! just hanging out watching tv.” 

and his fans who don’t know abt saeran are just like. “?????? who is saeran” yoosuung tells them that he’s a friend that hangs out his place a lot and that he’s just sort of shy (2 respect saeran’s privacy and also bc they haven’t decided if they wanna be so publicly out yet??)

and naturally, his viewers are kinda curious and it makes them more curious when yoosung and his friends bring him up briefly but saeran is Never seen or heard in any streams or videos. the boy is a goddamn Mystery to yoosung’s viewers.

tbh saeran probably like.. watches the streams a lot when he’s not at his boyfriend’s house but he uses some random fake name or some shit so no one in the chat can tell he’s there.

eventually like. he gets less shy, more comfortable and he can be heard in the background making a noise or smth. asking yoosung a question. that kind of thing.

the first time it’s an accident and everyone is like “!??! who is that???” and yoosung tells them and they get So Excited and respond with “!!! THERE HE IS!!!! the elusive saeran!!” yoosung and his friends just laugh bc its funny n cute?

but ye he steadily makes more casual background appearances and it pretty much becomes one big meme with yoosung’s friends and viewers. they say stuff like 

“new cryptid discovered”

and “he’s a legend.... a myth... no one has ever seen his face”  

(shitty harry potter quote) “it’s like trying to catch smoke... like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands.”

“some say he can wipe your memories so you forget that you ever met him”

its. so good... Every Time they hear the fridge closing or a voice in the background or they catch a lil flash of red hair behind yoosung on the face cam, the chat Explodes like “THERE HE IS!!! there he is! he really does exist!!”

they both find it rlly hilarious omg. saeran says it’s stupid and dumb at first but he obviously loves it... he laughs out loud a few times watching what people are saying abt him while he’s at yoosung’s and ppl hear it and are like “!!!! what is he laughing at??” 

yoosung: “ oh haha he’s lookin at the chat right now”

the chat: “omg he sees us!!!!” 

“saeran! reply if you’re real! we need proof!!!”

“there he is. the absolute madman”

“hi, saeran!” 

“you should sit by yoosung so we can see you!!” 

“saeran!! hello!! have you eaten?”

its so sweET and cute!! and i feel like maybe around this time as stuff like this continues happening.. a lot of viewers kinda assume or are starting to suspect that they’re dating? idk. 

maybe yoosung doesn’t outright say anything or confirm their relationship but there are a lot of clear signs like...yoosung moves away from his mic t talk to saeran more often (stuff like asking him what he wants for dinner, laughing abt some offhand comment he made)... the fact that saeran is at yoosung’s so often, too. it’s obvious that they’re very comfortable with each other and they seem close

and a biggest indicator is probably the way yoosung talks abt saeran when the chat notices he’s there in the bg? like:

“Aw, you guys, you’re making him embarrassed.”  or  “...Huh? Oh, don’t worry! He’s not replying because he’s really shy.”  or   “Haha, I think I can see him blushing!” 

this probably goes on for a pretty long time? a few months. gradually saeran appears more, comes over to comment on the game or how yoosung is playing, maybe cheer him on a little? while mostly staying out of sight... tho sometimes when he feels less anxious he’ll be directly behind or beside yoosung in the facecam feed. 

his viewers think he’s super cute when they see his face for the first time, and they say so in the chat. yoosung agrees w them like 

“Yeah. He really is, isn’t he?” 

and the chat Explodes again bc

that’s probably the first official confirmation in a stream that they’re in a relationship. saeran is embarrassed and flustered and annoyed but also kind of happy and he says “Shut the fuck up.” and covers his face w his hands and he’s Bright red but also smiling just a teeeny tiny bit behind his hands.

yoosung’s LOLOL friends are so relieved that they don’t have to keep it a secret anymore and they start teasing yoosung in streams almost as much they do when they’re just playin together casually

after that, ppl start suggesting/requesting that saeran and yoosung play games together on the stream!!!

 and at first theyre a lil hesitant for a few reasons? like, saeran still has a lot of issues and gets vvvvvery Anxious so it might be a bit stressful for him. and also that content would be so different than yoosung’s usual stuff.  

(also even tho they’re never that affectionate in streams bc saeran is iffy about pda, theyyyy... still worry a little about people bein’ dickbags bc its a mlm relationship and the internet can be a mean place... idk i also dont know how widely accepted same-gender couples are in south korea?? but ye) 

BUT a lot of ppl seem to want it!! 

so when saeran gains enough confidence, they do it!! they maybe make a separate channel for streaming that stuff. they just post recorded videos on his regular channel tho under a specific title and it’s its own little series.

and it turns out it’s almost as popular as his other content and does rlly well! 

occasionally they play LOLOL casually together but saeran isn’t rlly into it as much as yoosung is so mostly they play a bunch of different multiplayer games. they also play a lot single-player ones that are very story-driven or just. interesting in general.

a couple times they play horror games and those ones are really popular bc yoosung gets So Scared. he Hates horror games he’s so jumpy at everything and screams so loud. 

meanwhile saeran barely reacts. he might occasionally get surprised by a jump scare on his more anxious days but most of the time he’s like....... so.. calm. so unfazed by everything that viewers are like “what the fuck dude” “how is he so chill right now”

however... even tho the horror game streams/videos are rlly popular, they don’t do them that often bc yoosung gets legitimately scared often to a point where he doesn’t enjoy them lol ... its ok tho bc saeran snuggles him afterwords but. YyYYyeeah. yeah.

saeran and yoosung have a lot of fun and their viewers love them and it’s a very good fun pure thing n everyone is happy. 

the end

( really Unlikely but cute bonus for a few years later:  yoosung fucks up on the stream talkin w his buddies and accidentally mentions smth abt proposing to saeran before he actually does it and bc he’s streaming to a fuckton of ppl, it gets around so fast and saeran finds out right away. yoosung is so embarrassed and frustrated that he ruined the surprise )

.

god pleas e... talk to me about yooran. i need people to talk to about this ship so i can stop posting long things like this like a loser lol

do all 150 lilly do it do it do it

😒1. Who was the last person you held hands with? The loml Oliver2. Are you outgoing or shy? More outgoing but I can be shy sometimes3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? OLIVER4. Are you easy to get along with? I think so5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? He has6. What kind of people are you attracted to? I tend to gravitate toward people that are artistic, easy to talk to7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Already am so yeah8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? Gender isn't real 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? No10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Oliver 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? "I love you too"12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?Any song from cupcakke's new album13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Depends on who it is, also I don't like people tucking my hair behind my ears14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Yeah but also I'm skeptical15. What good thing happened this summer? Hasn't happened yet16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Of course 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Absolutely18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Nope19. Do you like bubble baths? Occasionally20. Do you like your neighbors? I've never talked to them so idk21. What are you bad habits? Losing things, picking at my skin, forgetting what I'm doing22. Where would you like to travel? Most of Europe, south America, Africa, New Zealand23. Do you have trust issues? Lmao yes24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Going tf to sleep25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? All of it26. What do you do when you wake up? Check my phone27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Neither 28. Who are you most comfortable around? Oliver, my best friends29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Lmao30. Do you ever want to get married? Yes31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yes but I hate ponytails in my hair32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Beyonce and rihanna33. Spell your name with your chin. Oh oot34. Do you play sports? What sports? No, I used to do tae kwon do if that counts35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV definitely36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes37. What do you say during awkward silences? Usually say I have to go38. Describe your dream girl/guy? Oliver lmao39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? Burlington bc it's cheap 40. What do you want to do after high school? Im already out of high school41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Depends on what they did42. If you're being extremely quiet what does it mean? I'm angry/upset/some kind of mentally ill43. Do you smile at strangers? Depends on the stranger44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? Outer space45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? Dogs, wanting to help people, the people I love46. What are you paranoid about? Losing the people I love, being alone47. Have you ever been high? Lmao48. Have you ever been drunk? LMAO49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? Probably but nothing comes to mind rn50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? Maroon and gray51. Ever wished you were someone else? Every day52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? My voice 53. Favourite makeup brand? I don't wear makeup54. Favourite store? Target tbh55. Favourite blog? Mine ✌56. Favourite colour? Purple57. Favourite food? Mac n cheese58. Last thing you ate? MAC N CHEESE59. First thing you ate this morning? Fruity Pebbles60. Ever won a competition? For what? Spelling bee, tae kwon do, a couple other things I can't remember61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? No62. Been arrested? For what? Nope63. Ever been in love? Yep 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? It was after prom and I was really fucking wasted65. Are you hungry right now? Always66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? No67. Facebook or Twitter? Facebook68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr69. Are you watching tv right now? No70. Names of your bestfriends? Alex, Temi, Janae, Thomas71. Craving something? What? Oliver to be back with me, also Reese's cups 72. What colour are your towels? Varying shades of blue and green 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 or 373. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? Yeah74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? Five probably75. Favourite animal? Dogs76. What colour is your underwear? Not wearing any77. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate78. Favourite ice cream flavour? Ben & Jerry's Half Baked79. What colour shirt are you wearing? Black and gray80. What colour pants? They have Eeyore on them81. Favourite tv show? The Office 82. Favourite movie? Get Out or Moana but it varies a lot83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? Mean Girls84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? Mean Girls85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? Damien86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? Dory87. First person you talked to today? Oliver88. Last person you talked to today? My mother89. Name a person you hate? ******90. Name a person you love? Oliver 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? Yes92. In a fight with someone? No93. How many sweatpants do you have? Probably 3 or 4 pairs94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? Too many it's like my entire wardrobe95. Last movie you watched? HSM96. Favourite actress? No idea97. Favourite actor? No idea98. Do you tan a lot? I don't tan99. Have any pets? Yes a dog and a cat100. How are you feeling? Sad bc oliver had to leave today101. Do you type fast? Yes102. Do you regret anything from your past? LMAO103. Can you spell well? Yeah 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? Sometimes105. Ever been to a bonfire party? Yes106. Ever broken someone’s heart? Probably not107. Have you ever been on a horse? Yeah I used to do dressage when I was 3108. What should you be doing? Laundry probably109. Is something irritating you right now? Myself110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? Yes111. Do you have trust issues? Already answered112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Oliver113. What was your childhood nickname? Boogaley(don't ask)114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? Yeah a bunch of times115. Do you play the Wii? Not anymore but I would if I still had one116. Are you listening to music right now? Nope117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? Yes118. Do you like Chinese food? Yes119. Favourite book? Brave New World120. Are you afraid of the dark? No121. Are you mean? Only occasionally122. Is cheating ever okay? Not really but in certain situations I could understand 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? Probably not124. Do you believe in love at first sight? No125. Do you believe in true love? Yes126. Are you currently bored? Very127. What makes you happy? Oliver, dogs, making other people happy128. Would you change your name? Maybe129. What your zodiac sign? Cancer130. Do you like subway? It's alright131. Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? Probably not care as long as he doesn't try to do anything132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Already answered133. Favourite lyrics right now? Not sure134. Can you count to one million? If I really wanted to 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? I've told a lot of dumb lies136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? Closed I need privacy137. How tall are you? 5'6138. Curly or Straight hair? Straight139. Brunette or Blonde? Blonde140. Summer or Winter? Winter141. Night or Day? Night142. Favourite month? October143. Are you a vegetarian? No144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? Milk145. Tea or Coffee? Coffee146. Was today a good day? No147. Mars or Snickers? Snickers148. What’s your favourite quote? "Do it or imma fist ya boy"149. Do you believe in ghosts? Yes actually150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? "She sighed." Relatable

Survey #46

honestly too lazy to muse over song lyrics so hey let’s get into it.

has anyone ever called you sexy? jason did the first time he saw me in a bikini and i blushed like a bitch. do you like raisins? NO what is your favorite bug? butterflies what is your opinion on abortion? lmao do you REALLY want me to get into that one? what is your opinion on gay marriage? it's fine. what is your opinion on gay adoption? also fine, so long as you don't raise said child to think being gay is "normal," like A LOT of people seem to think. now before i get blown up with notes about how "i'm calling being gay bad," NO. normal and bad are two very different things. being gay is a mutation, thus is not normal. but is it bad? no. it irks me when people think that being gay is normal, bc it's not, and a gullible child should not be told differently. do you take pictures of yourself on a daily basis? absolutely not. would you rather freeze or burn to death?  burn, only because freezing would be agonizingly slow you've just died, and you're given the choice of reincarnation, being a spirit, or going to heaven/hell, wherever you belong.  i wanna go to heaven. have peace. you're in prison. would you think about trying to escape and running away?  no. i'd get caught.  they always do in the end. you're getting married! where’s your honeymoon? idk tbh. aside from any current relationships, what was your closest relationship ever? me and jason do you give good massages?  well. jason has a terrible back so i used to give him massages a lot and they always ended with us making out so lol. when’s the last time you went against your eating habits or religion (ex. eating beef when you’re muslim)?  never even if you are not christian or never celebrated christmas, do you think you will raise your (possible future) children to believe in santa clause? why or why not? absolutely!! it's all in good fun and it stimulates the imagination. jason never believed in santa and when i found out, i remember i felt really sad for him. when you have nightmares, do they normally have the same theme (ex. always being killed) or do they just relate to something going on in your life at the moment/random? sigh. they're always about jason rejecting me in one way or another. what type of clothing do you hate to see on (other) women? what type of clothing do you hate to see on (other) men?  i do NOT like skanky clothes, ex. shorts that literally show off your ass or shirts with an immense amount of cleavage. i can't stand baggy pants on men. do you believe america should legalize drugs? if you think they should legalize only some drugs, which drugs do you think they should legalize?  ... no??? what the fuck's next, legalizing murder bc it would deter murderers??? would you vote a homosexual president into office? why or why not? yes, because why not? what's your most embarrassing sex (or sexual) story? if you haven't had sex, talk about an embarrassing sex story you heard. i've told this before in an old survey: that time i'm pretty damn sure i was about to orgasm but instead i had a panic attack because i didn't understand what i was feeling lmao besides pornography, what is a website you frequent and don't want anyone to know? first let it be known that i don't watch porn. it's disgusting. two, the meerkat role-play site i take part in because i find rp embarrassing to the public eye. would you support marijuana legalization if it were taxed and distributed in a way similar to alcohol? nope what do you most want to improve upon in yourself? not allow my happiness to be dependent on others if you were throwing your significant other / best friend a themed party, what would the theme be? elephants! she loves them! how often do you get fountain drinks from a gas station? like, once a month? who is your favorite character in your favorite movie? hmmm... i'm honestly tied between the mad hatter and the cheshire cat! what'​​s your curre​nt boy situa​tion?​​ i'm single, but i just joined a dating site like... yesterday so i guess you could say i'm looking. it's honestly embarrassing to me personally to be on a dating site, but after a month's worth of thought, i decided i think that's what's best for me. gave you ever donat​ed blood​?​​ yes. have you ever been to seawo​rld? yep. what video game should everybody play at least once?  "silent hill 2." NO, not because it's my favorite game, but that damn message. it shows that you cannot run from your past and regrets; you instead have to face up to them. what is impossible to understand until it happens to you? mental illnesses what’s a weird thing you are scared of? WHALE SHARKS what is the most enjoyable exercise? biking how much time do you spend putting on makeup daily? i usually don't wear makeup. but if i do, gimme like five minutes have you ever worn faux eyelashes? nope what color is your flash-drive? pink when’s the next time you’ll change your hairstyle and will you color it? hairstyle will remain the same, gotta get the layers trimmed tho. i'm getting galaxy hair after my red fades!! has anyone ever called you fake and do you agree with them? no. do you make an effort to talk to all of your facebook friends, or are there certain people that you talk to the most? nope. i mean i'll "like" some of their statuses and whatnot, but i don't talk to most of them anymore. do you hate your weight? very much so. what kind of mood are you in atm? is someone else responsible for that mood? i'm anxious to do something, and no. who was the last person that asked to hang out with you? tell me the story of how you met that person, everything you remember. colleen asked to hang out a couple days back, spent the night two days. :D i met her in girl scouts, but i barely remember back then. we really bonded in middle school. if you knew that one of your friends was considering suicide, what would you say to them? it really depends on their situation.0 have you ever worn colored mascara? if not, would you ever think about trying it? and if you have, what is / was your favorite color to wear? ohhh, i haven't, but that'd be cool! who was the last person to pay you a compliment? my dentist. she liked my hair. what color is your purse/wallet? my purse is maroon and black. my wallet is red, black, and white. it's got a harley quinn design on it. before facebook became popular, did you use any other social networking site, like bebo or myspace? i had myspace. which disney princess do you think is the most beautiful? why? uhhh... aesthetically... i guess belle, maybe? or jasmine? if i’m going to buy you a box of chocolates, which kind should I definitely NOT get? DO NOT GET ME THE KINDS WITH FILLING OTHER THAN CHOCOLATE ITSELF OMG if you met the celebrity that you most admire, what would be the first thing you’d say to him/her? "thank you for saving my life" when you’re going to be at home all day, do you bother to get out of your pajamas? nope. given the choice, would you rather drink juice or soda? soda. i'm aware that's terrible, lol. how many piercings do you have? are there any more that you want? i have two in each earlobe, my tragus, my cartilage, and my nose done. i want a labret lip piercing and the snake eyes tongue piercing, as well as more on my ears. do you play angry birds? no. i recently watched the movie with friends tho, and it's so cute! do you tend to get hungry late at night? YEAH has anyone ever cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend with you? yeah. we didn't actually date, but it was serious flirting, and i consider that cheating. do you blow dry your hair? NO NO NO YOU NEVER WANT TO BLOW DRY MY HAIR. it's thick af and will literally take you 10+ minutes to get completely dry. if you’ve ever had and quit a job, did you actually call in and quit or put in your two weeks notice or did you just stop showing up? at my first job, i talked face-to-face with the manager and didn't show up after i quit. at my second job, i texted my boss and didn't show up after that. do you tend to baby or take care of the people you date, or do you tend to date alpha types that take care of you? ehhh, both? like i think it's in MOST females' nature to be motherly, and i was like that with my ex, but my ex definitely cared for me, too. how would you feel if the person you were interested in refused to perform oral sex on you? i wouldn't mind. i find oral gross, anyway. when you get upset do you have any physical reactions, like prickles in your spine or your knees going weak? my head gets this weird tingling sensation. do you ever “facebook stalk” or go through facebook albums of attractive boys/girls that you have mutual friends with (but haven’t met in person)? do you ever add them? nope. hypothetically speaking, if you ever give birth to a son, would you have him circumcised? yes, in interest of his health. which of your facebook friends posts the most annoying/irritating/enraging facebook posts? what do they post? oh my GOSH, a friend i met at the hospital, whom i won't name for her privacy. she's BEYOND pro-choice, bashes EVERYONE who disagrees with her, posts a billion rants a day, and is just... very shallow in what she shares. is there something that a person can do and watching them do it makes you quite a bit attracted to them for it (e.g., watching someone play guitar, watching a someone work on a car, etc.)? many things, yeah, like the two you listed, but more. what accent do you find most difficult to understand? southern, but only when it's VERY heavy. what movie never fails to make you cry? "the notebook" do you like 3d movies? sure have you ever practiced kissing on a stuffed animal? nope do you let music move your body, or do you hold back? i always hold back why is your favorite store your favorite? i find their clothes aesthetically pleasing can you handle the stress of working in food/customer service? NONONONONO what kind of place would you want to raise your children? idk, the same state i was raised in, i guess. would you let your child have a pet? depends on their age, really. if i think they're mature enough to care for it themselves, yes. do you enjoy talking to people over webcam? NO CAN YOU SAY AWKWARD would you rather die or eat another human being? die. how would you react if a doctor told you that you were infertile? i'd be... pretty devastated. i want kids, but at the same time, i'm so scared to have another life under my supervision. idk. do you like meatball subs? sure. have you been baptized in any religious tradition? yep. what is your favorite meal of the day? breakfast what season were you born in? winter what’s your favorite breed of dog? idk, i like akita inus, chow-chows, beagles... do you use twitter? nope are you a good babysitter?   not particularly.  i'm awkward with kids. how old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?   sigh.  he'll be 23 in two days. what’s the relationship with you and the last person you kissed?   we're nothing but strangers now. has anyone ever told you they were in love with you?   he was apparently full of shit.