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the-art-in-arthesia-is-loud · 7 months

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here are the ref sheets i promised i'd post next! these designs.....are technically redesigns? lmaoooo

i'll explain it more under the cut, so do read it if you're interested/curious enough~ ^^

OKAY YES HI HELLO WELCOME TO Under The Cut™ ‼️‼️

these designs are essentially redesigns. these six goofy goobers get these designs after rgverse's main story (which reminds me i STILL haven't started working on the story summary yet. Bare with me pls)

i have a LOT to say about these designs heheheheeheheh

1. abstruse

• ok first of all. he has a crown!!!!!! :D his outfit also looks more interesting to me. i wanted to make these designs look interesting while still looking simplistic. i do hope i achieved that goal well lol

• he has a lil ponytail, bc i cannot stand men without ponytails /j

• he also looks more happier <33333333 look at the lil guy go. look at my son go 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

• as for whatever the fuck is on his thigh.....idk why i added it there honestly. i just needed some extra touches to him ig? lol

2. primeval texture

• ONE SUPER NOTICEABLE THING ABT HER DESIGN IS THAT HER HAIR NOW HAS A FADE!!!!!!!! YIPPEE

• she also has another accessory on her hair. it doesn't look like it bc i Can't draw it for the life of me but it's a feather lol

• her outfit is more...idk. idol-ish??? IDK WHAT TO CLASSIFY THIS STYLE LOL but i like it

• best girl (real)

3. technicolour

• darker bg for him bc god. some colors aren't noticeable enough with the usual bg color LMAO

• ANYWAYSSSS look!!!!! my other son!!!!!!!!!!!!

• he actually has head accessories now. ayeee

• paint splatters on him bc he got into painting and art after the rgverse story ended!

• bandages on him bc uhhh....reasons elaborated in story :}

• it's not noticeable enough but there's also bandages on his neck. reasoning? also elaborated in the story :3

4. logos

• what...is that cloak on her for? idk. just a random design choice

• side ponytail hairstyle for logos real

• as for the random splatters on her outfit and hair accessory, it's another random design choice lel

5. ego eimi

• her halo and wings are more lighter in terms of colors. reason? ALSO ELABORATED IN STORY. HA.

• flowers to make her look prettier <3

• more better clothing than her old design god bless

• bandages on her leg and right hand (unnoticeable) bc of....ummmm injuries aha

6. arghena

• NEW HAIR YAYAYAYYYYY :3333

• her hair looks a lil like teravolt's now. but hopefully it's different in some way

• TOP HAT. it's similar to chariot's honestly

• i don't have much to say abt her outfit lol

• random piece of clothing wrapped around her thigh bc that's her fucking choice actually. yea it's canon somewhat

• the 'bracelet' she's wearing on her left wrist isn't actually a bracelet. it's actually a watch. i just drew it like that bc of her goddamn hand position 😭

ok yea that's all lol. this was a pain in the ass to deal with but hey. it's worth it in the end :)

as for future plans, i'll work on more ref sheets. my main priority is make a post-rgverse main story design for unknown levels too, and then rework dawn a lil bc she's fine. except for her hair. yikes.

i'll also catch up on the characters who i haven't made ref sheets for yet. ad astra is next for that. thanks Spin The Wheel App

ok that's all ty for reading thru all of this nonsense <3

#(art)hesia #arthesias ocs #what an agonizingly long journey it has been: abstruse (oc)#a special kind of texture: primeval texture (oc)#like an ice cube: technicolour (oc)#to give law and order to the universe: logos (oc)#i exist: ego eimi (oc)#the embodiment of chaos and destruction herself: arghena (oc)#original character #original characters #oc #ocs #oc art #art #digital art #rgverse: artwork

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thursday-writes-fanfics · 3 years

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Choose, part 4. (Reader x Jack Sparrow or Will Turner. )

Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean, Will Turner, Jack Sparrow.

Warnings: None lmao

Words: 2.3 K

First - Former - Next

It's been a while since my last update, so here you go!

One year had passed since the faithed night in Tortuga, where Y/N left everything she once knew behind, to seek the truth she needed to find within. One eventful year where she had gone alone through more than most would in their lifetime. Travelling along with different crews, battling across the seas and polishing her hastily growing reputation as one of the most fearsome pirates the world has ever seen. None dared voice their annoyance with her being a woman, for she had allies all across the seven seas. She had seen so much of the world, her confidence grown and her heart set aflame with adventure. Y/N was an even finer pirate and woman than she had been ever before.

Other pirates either wished to be her or be with her, the secrets of many slipped into her ears. It amused the young woman, and the many who worked in the brothels along the coasts. When Y/N needed information, it was not other pirates or navy officials she sought out. No, it was the brothels’ gossip she tuned her ears to. For the women there knew far more of the world than any other. All news came to their homes and it was all available for the famous pirate.

She had earned an even better reputation with them as well, as she sought out the women there the first thing she did each time she came ashore. She treated them kindly, paid for their food and brought along gifts, treating them like friends. Her actions earned her a handsome reputation with the women, and in each town she could always find a loyal embrace to keep her safe. After all, the women of the brothels ruled the cities from the shadows. To anger one of them was to anger an underground nation.

Y/N’s locks had grown long since the night one year ago, her clothing expensive and proud on her frame. A treat she gave herself due to her wide success in both informal and formal businesses. She was a true pirate, yet could strike a bargain with the British navy without a problem. After all, they too were afraid of her.

The feather on her black hat curled down to her shoulder, its size another show of her wealth and power. The weaponry which clad her shape were the most efficient, on all the ships of the sea, not even the British army able to supply her better. Only the finest for herself, the woman had decided. Dual pistols she had strapped to each side of her chest, and upon both hips she held blades, one magnificent sabre and one deadly cutlass, all adorned with the most elaborate details. These were all weapons to show, the rest she had hidden in pockets and secret departments on her curves. Small explosives and hidden blades were better kept in subtle crevices than to be seen by the naked eye when one made deals. All about the fearsome pirate screamed confidence and to show respect, and that respect she had earned many times over.

“We’ll be docked in an hour, lass,” came the captain’s voice, the merry band she was travelling with now not as roughhousing as most of her fellow pirates. Mercenaries of the law they were during the day after all, and they weren’t too keen on going out during the night when there was ale to be drunk with stories to be told in old taverns. It was a life-altering change from how they had once been, when the captain and his crew had been young and adventurous. A smirk clad Y/N’s lips when she faced the man, her fingers fiddling with the sabre’s handle. “Aye, thought it was about time to dock, Captain Henry. And still I’m not sure if I will take my leave of you when we get there, or if I will meet the navy together with you in the morrow,” her deceptive nature made the captain laugh, for he knew just how little control anyone had over the young pirate. He joined her side with a few strides to the railing, gazing at the sea from the quarterdeck.

“Aye, ye do as ye wish, lassie,” mused the older man, finding his gaze once more sought out her face. “Yer not notorious for knowing every pirate for no reason. Can’t keep ye in place forever” he snickered, his mind on the many rumours he had heard over the past year of the pirate. He had seen it himself a few times too, how the famous Y/N had stepped off one ship only to board another in the same port. Her name was known by all, whether they liked her or not. Her presence on a ship could deter a dispute between two crews, for no one wanted her gone. And those who did were quick to find themselves cornered and silenced for good after voicing such atrocious thoughts aloud.

“Oh shut your gob, “ sneered the woman in reply, earning more laughter from the captain as his head fell back to let the thunderous noise wash over the ship. A simple “Never,” Henry retaliated, winning their argument as he strode to attend his crew and ensure the docking process would flow smoothly. Y/N watched the sea for a moment longer, trained on the horizon in an attempt to find a peculiar ship. One which carried black sails. Fingers carded through her hair as she thought about her old companions, but discarded the thoughts just as quickly. A turn of her heels and the woman came to face the incoming port, nothing she wished to see there either. A defeated smile curled her lips when she ventured to help her current crew, missing the hint of black that rounded a nearby island with a course for their port.

“ Alright, lads!” with easy leaps and muscles bunched for one last jump, Y/N climbed halfway up the crow's nest and gazed down at the many faces who all gave her their full attention.

“ I’m saying this just once because Henry doesn’t seem to be able to get it through your thick skulls. If we don’t get this cargo to the bay within the first few hours of us getting to port, the taverns will be full and the brothels closed,” the crew stared at the woman, most having just woken up from their midday nap. Too many faces were disinterested, the woman sneering maliciously as she knew exactly what would get them on their feet.

“Which means, no ale and no lovers!” Y/N roared, drawing enjoyment from the panic growing in the men’s eyes. They had been at sea for a month now, and the lot needed more than the icy waters could ever offer.

“So unless you wish to mope around the ship for the entire night, alone, get to it!” the crew leapt to their feet, their rushing steps and loud cries satisfying to Y/N’s ears. The pirate’s piercing eyes found the captain who let his chest heave with a sigh, not one to question the woman’s authority. She had gotten the crew off their asses with a single threat, when he had shouted at them all day to get ready. The ship groaned when they threw down the anchor, straining against it as it still wished to traverse further. A gangplank found its hold against the port, the cargo soon to cross over it. Both the captain and Alexandra oversaw the process, to ensure their goods would be gone by the hour.

“Ye know,” Captain Henry spoke after a long while, arms crossed over his broad chest. “Ye should consider becoming a captain one day,” Y/N snapped her head to face the man, eyes threatening to fall out. “Me? A captain?” she ridiculed, shocked by his words. The captain let a snicker pass his lips at her surprise, for being able to shock the immovable Y/N was quite amusing. Work roughened hand, tainted by the deep sea came to rest on his back, clasped together.

“Just sayin’. Ye’ve got the guts and respect for it,” with a smirk the captain passed his current crewmate, stepping onto the railing. “I will leave the rest to ye, for I am in need of a drink,” a wink was sent the woman’s way before Captain Henry made his way down the docks, disappearing without a trace. His back was followed by Y/N’s incredulous gaze.

“You fucking bastard,” Y/N shouted after him, her spiteful words only a show of affection to them both. With a shake of her head and a smirk on her lips growing when she heard the captain’s faraway laughter, the pirate got back to work. With an easy step, she leapt atop the railing, gazing at the crew working by her side.

“We’re making good time, lads! If you keep this up you’re probably going to be one of the first crews of the night to get to the pubs!” Y/N encouraged them. The merry men laughed and cheered whilst their work pace increased tenfold at the praise and promises of entertainment. Even the stand-in captain dared to laugh herself, unaware of how many eyes watched her joy from far out at sea.

It started with Ragetti looking through the captain’s spyglass, minding his own business as they had yet to start preparing to get docked. When turning his eye to the port city, he could tear his wandering gaze when it laid eyes on an extremely familiar figure. Too far away to make out entirely, yet the pirate was certain of who he saw. None he had ever encountered before looked and stood like their old acquaintance.

“Oh, would you look at that!” the pirate laughed, Pintel looking over at him with a raised brow. The spyglass fell from his eye, Ragetti free hand pointing to one of the largest ships docked in the nearing port.

“Y/N is aboard Henry the Savage’s boat!” the words he spoke carried over the deck, the silence that followed deafening, the group trying to comprehend what had just been said. A moment later and the crew rushed like a stampede for the two pirates who shrieked in fright at the threatening approach. The spyglass was taken from Ragetti’s hand and passed to them all to get a look for themselves.

“I can’t see ‘er!”

“Is it really Y/N the Courageous you saw?”

“Courageous? No! Her title is the Unbeatable!

“No, she’s Y/N the Ace of the Sea! The greatest pirate yet!”

The commotion on deck drew Will and Jack from the captain’s cabin, the crew’s loud and incoherent discussions about titles and names soon finding their ears. The former blacksmith was with the crew temporarily, as he had a job to be done with them before they ventured to Port Royal. Both captain and his companion froze in their steps when a well-known name echoed across the crew over and over. A shocked gaze was shared, but the two strode forth together for they could not believe in illusions just because a name was mentioned a few times.

“Right. What’s all this then?” came from the captain’s chest, the crew jumping at the sound of his voice. Jack Sparrow regarded them all with his hands propped on his hips, the loyal blacksmith at his side. Gibbs was the first to speak and took matters into hand, roughly pulling the spyglass from the nearest pirate’s. “It’s Y/N, Jack,” his words piqued further interest in the two newcomers, the two striding through the parting crew to the first mate.

“Y/N?” Will asked, unable to hide the hope that bubbled up in his voice at the mention of her name. The blue eyes grew clearer, not the wistful one’s the crew had come to be familiar with. Jack snatched the spyglass from Gibbs’ offered hand and turned to face the port. With his gaze, he followed the finger pointing at the supposedly familiar pirate. Jack froze upon seeing who they meant, eye narrowing when he stared her down. “No, it can’t be her,” the captain muttered, more to himself than anybody else.

“Far too curvy and longer hair. She didn’t look so cheerful to everyone all the time,” the jealousy and denial dripped from the captain’s tongue, the disbelief he held in his heart fading with each second.

“Can’t be her. No way, you’re all dreaming,” Jack continued before yelping as Will tore the spyglass from his hands, the force of it almost making the captain fall overboard. The blacksmith’s own gaze sought the port for the one they spoke of, his heart beating so quickly it drowned out all sound.

He too came to stand still once he found her form. She stood proud and tall upon Henry the Savage’s railing, her hand thrown out as she barked orders to the crewmates. And there on her lips was a grin, a grin that only the closest of her friends had seen before. Now as she shared it with the rest of the world, the former blacksmith’s blood boiled with jealousy.

“It’s her. There’s no way it’s not her,” Will snarled in reply to Jack’s incessant mumbling, handing the spyglass to Cotton. Will turned to the Black Pearl’s crew, and just like the woman on the other ship, began to bark orders. Where hers had been kind and joyous, he’s were angry and determined orders, none on the ship daring to stand in his way. The desperation in his anger was evident, and the fact that their own Captain Jack did nothing but mumble was a telltale sign that this was a serious matter. Otherwise, Will would have had a sword at his neck for even attempting to command the crew. Their efforts to hurry were doubled, when Jack regained his mind only to shout orders alongside his friend.

Oh, how oblivious the woman they had sought for was, for she heard none of the shouting on the nearing ship. For her well-beloved face was already being shown in one of her favourite taverns.

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sleepingcrisis · 3 years

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WIP for a western AU! I know literally nothing about westerns and I can't be bothered to give characters accents lmao. Not sure what I'll do with this but I think it is cute :)

***************************************************

"Cherry."

"Adam."

The two men looked at eachother. The pink haired man with his hair tied up in a messy bun and a red button up on tucked into his trousers. His belt held two rifles for when customers got out of hand. The blue haired man with his hair slicked back and a white suit on him stood at the bar as if disgusted by the stools that lined it. Cherry could have spat on him with the assumption that if Adam was avoid getting dirty then Cherry should fix that.

"I want to buy your property-"

"No."

"You haven't heard my deal yet Blossom!"

"I have heard it before and I am sure that I'll hear it again. This is my property and the last thing I want is for you to have your slimy hands all over it. Now order a drink and sit down or get out," Cherry snapped and pointed to the door.

Adam tsked and grit his teeth, "You can't hang on to the deed of this place forever!"

"You're right!" Cherry exclaimed and apparently Adam missed the sarcasm when he had the audacity to look hopeful for a moment. "When I'm six feet under then you can have it," Cherry elaborated and rolled his eyes.

"That'll be sooner than you think!" Adam called before leaving. He always had to get the last word. Cherry would nearly be concerned if the other could possibly settle on someone else speaking last.

"Is everything going to be alright?"

Cherry looked over at his newest crew member. A young man named Langa who had light blue hair and was currently cleaning off tables.

"Yeah he does that sometimes," Cherry explained with a shrug.

"And you aren't worried?" Langa asked, brow raised.

"Nope. I'd put a bullet between his eyes before I let that bastard scare me," Cherry decided with a grin. He heard Langa gulp and chuckled softly. Cherry didn't even know how the boy was still alive. He was what people far up north called a pacifist. He didn't carry a rifle and even when Cherry had offered he refused to learn how to shoot. This alone was a good enough reason for Cherry to decide not to get attached.

"You should dump out the spit buckets before the evening crowd comes in," Cherry mentioned. He realized he hadn't given the northerner that task before by the way Langa looked at him.

"The what?" Langa asked softly.

They ended up doing that together and Cherry rinsing them out before putting them back in the regular spots as people began to file in.

"Leave your rifles at the door. This is no place for a gun fight! If I catch any of you bringing something like that past the entrance I'll have two bullets in your chest before you can even draw it!" Cherry barked at one of his more 'problem' customers.

"Does that rule apply to me?" Came a familiar voice. Cherry already knew he was grinning before he even looked over to him.

"Especially you Joe," Cherry shot back easily.

"Is that any way to talk to your sheriff?" Joe asked as he sat down at the bar.

"In here? Yes. I don't need you trying to play the hero like last time," Cherry said. Neither of them seemed to want to talk about what had happened last time though.

"Oh hush, I am the sheriff-"

"And this is my tavern, if someone gets into a bar fight then it is my business unless I specifically call for you."

"He had a knife!"

"And?" Cherry didn't seem to see the issue. Instead he walked away from Joe in order to serve other people their alcohol. "Also, order something if you are gonna sit in here Joe- and tell your boy to stop distracting Langa."

Joe hadn't even noticed. The red head who often tailed him was currently talking with one of Cherry’s servers- a blue haired boy with his hair clipped back to keep it out of his face.

"Reki!" Joe called and nodded to the seat beside him. The red head seemed to say his goodbyes before moving to sit beside him. Reki was often covered in dirt and the same went for his clothes. His hair matted and wild- he needed a bath. Joe figured he would have to wait until later to mention that.

Joe himself wore a brown cowboy hat and a button up along with trousers and a vest. The small star remained pinned to his vest signifying his position and his belt held two rifles-

Until Cherry came over and plucked them out. "Sheriff. You know my rules," Cherry smirked. "Ask me for them when you leave," Joe found himself stuck on the end of a wink.

Service continued. Joe and Reki got their drinks. Eventually Cherry was closing up shop and was letting his employees off the hook which resulted in Langa taking off and not too long later Joe noticed Reki seemed to have vanished. Must be making friends.

"Adam dropped by again," Cherry mentioned as if it wasn't important. He filled up Joe’s glass with ale and a glass for himself before they both began to drink from their respective glasses.

"Is he still trying to buy this place?" Joe asked.

"Yep."

"Have you tried talking to the mayor?"

"Really? The mayor? And what will Mayor Tadashi do?"

"So that's a no on the mayor thing?" Joe asked and was met with Cherry taking a long swig from his glass.

"He recommended I consider Adam’s offer. Bastard," Cherry hissed.

"Are you going to?" Joe asked.

"Hell no! What do I look like to you?"

"Sorry you are right," Joe said and sighed softly. "Are you gonna need my help?"

"No. I can handle it myself Joe. Honestly you worry far too much. And you like to get involved," Cherry chuckled softly and rolled his eyes before taking another swig and went back to cleaning.

"So why did you tell me about Adam stopping by then?" Joe questioned and rested his chin on his palm.

"Because I think he is trying to buy out this town," Cherry stated.

"He has only ever shown interest in your property," Joe mentioned and rolled his eyes. Cherry’s theory was ridiculous.

"Yeah? Is that what you think? People talk to the one giving them alcohol more than you Joe. Ever since Tadashi became mayor he has bought several empty properties. Mine is the first he has taken interest in that already had something built on it. He owns a lot of land in this town Joe. He is trying to buy us out-"

"Us?"

"Do you listen to anything I say?" Cherry hissed and finished his drink before he began to clean the glass.

"Yes, yes, yes. I'm listening. Do you want me to do something?" Joe asked and tilted his head.

"What are you going to do? He ain't doing anything illegal," Kaoru muttered.

"I suppose you're right, but still. I'm loyal to you before the mayor," Joe reminded.

"Really? Well you better be ready for the shit show that is coming."

"I'm ready as I can be, someone has to protect you," Joe winked and grinned as he ignored the way Cherry scowled.

"Ew. Forget I said anything and just get out," Cherry rolled his eyes. He was only teasing but honestly it wasn't like he wanted Joe’s protection. Yes Cherry was slightly concerned about what Adam was doing, no he didn't need Joe to try and protect him. What he needed was for Joe to keep an eye on Adam and protect people who couldn't protect themselves.

#sk8 the infinity #sk8 #cherry blossom sk8 #matcha blossom #cherry blossom #joe #joecherry #nanjo kojiro #sakurayashiki kaoru #adam #reki kyan #langa hasegawa #renga #Western AU

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rupertgayesarchive · 3 years

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surgery anon again and YEA I remember all my questions. the big ones were... who sent him back. i was like hm cas died b4 Chuck died. Chuck possibly sent him back to save himself? OH ALSO did death send cas back to save himself (herself? is billie dead. the death sent him back theory is sponsored by a line in chapter 25 where dean is thinking about sending sam a postcard and an old man is staring at him being like send ur brother a post card before it’s too late. racked my brain for who r old men in supernatural who could do time travel and would be not evil but not making things easy either. and my sister was like ‘oh well death’) ALSO i went in for a long while about what cas would do when he got his memories back. i remember being like the fic is INSANELY in character so we should draw our conclusions from what already exists in canon, like 7.17. so cas would probably start worrying immediately about if they ended up defeating Chuck and probably assume that Chuck sent him back. also he’d probably worry that he like.. took advantage of dean or something because he’s insane. and then I was like he’d probably want to know if Chuck, assumed to be the one who sent him back, was in like current timeline heaven. also at this point my sister began giving input as well she became my sounding board lmaooo. we were like well he wouldn’t be able to go to heaven probably so he’d need to ask an angel.

also I was very jntersted in this because cas having positive relationships with some of his siblings is... very nice to see and the most underutilized part of spn. so I was like he’d probably wanna call or summon an angel to talk. but also a ton of angels that he personally killed would be alive again and I think he’d feel really guilty/overwhelmed so he wouldn’t wanna trap any of them? so I was trying to list off all the angels that cas canonically was friends with or implied to be close to prior to Lazarus Rising. and my list was like... ok samandriel, hester, balthazar. a bunch of others who im forgetting right now. but then my sister was like wouldn’t naomi simply have lobotomized them. and I was like oh true!! well... balthazar faked his own death prior to season 6. and he and cas were canonically very good friends before balthazar went to earth. BUT, balthazar stated that cas rebelling was the final reason that he decided to fake his death. BUT ALSO... I feel like.. the timeline works out like 2008 cas pulls dean out of hell. 2009-10 he rebels against heaven. there’s like a few months period where Balthazar could have faked his death and then around a year to fully embrace hedonism. so I feel like... even before cas rebelled he would’ve been like shirking his duties or something in an Aziraphale good omens type beat. this also accounts for naomi not paying attention to him. SO LIKE... also this is just an elaborate explanation for why balthazar, who I love, should be in ur fic. but I think for these reasons it makes sense that future cas, with this knowledge, would summon balthazar for help? questions? idk, I just liked cas having an angel who was friendly with him and he trusted. i mean your fic has given cas so many friends and I love it I’d be fine if you didn’t introduce any new characters at all! i just thought it’d be interesting to see and also be a good way to introduce like you know.., broader angels i suppose. if the time travel shenanigans are sticking to the s1-2 timeline angels couldn’t be super heavily involved, unless cas butterfly effect-ed it (which is mad interesting) anyway I think cas would be panicked about the future and last and would wanna ask about the state of heaven, if Chuck was there in the current timeline. and I think it’d make the most sense and least disturbance that he summon balthazar. because they were friends and also I don’t think balthazar would like.. tell anybody.

im literally SO sorry this is so long and I’m like hm. maybe i should send a second ask with more thoughts. anyways i hope you’re having a good night im feeling better already :)

i’m loving the ask box essays, truly we’ve never been more free when we’re allowed unlimited characters in our messages to other tumblr accounts.

i guess i shouldn’t be surprised that people wonder how cas got sent back, like that was one of the first things i knew about this fic, the who did it part, but in my mind it didn’t really matter/isn’t as interesting as what happens BECAUSE he’s sent back (you will get an answer to the ‘who’ btw. eventually. there are some hints in my fic as well as what some people have commented and things that are in my heard from your mother au tag on here...)

when cas gets his memories back, there are several things happening at once, so he may need to put his 12 years of trauma on the backburner for a bit lol.

angels will appear to some extent as well. i think it’s interesting that despite some of the higher-ups making remarks that cas has a ‘crack in his chassis’ and had to keep getting mind wiped, quite a few other angels seemed to like and respect him, at least earlier on in the show. he had enough, idk, charisma? to lead angel armies. more than once, too! that, combined with the fact that other angels besides him need to get sent to naomi imply (even if spn didn’t really do much w it bc, you know,) that a decent amount of angels may be more into humanity and free will than we’d think. i’m sure we don’t see so many of them later on bc, you know, most of them are dead, but at this point in the show? who’s to say. cas spends enough time reading about class consciousness that he starts an angel union against lobotomies lmao. they can’t take ‘em all, right?

i also think cas needs to end my fic by having twenty hand made friendship bracelets worn on both wrists at all times and ppl constantly blowing up his phone bc he’s that guy!! :)

#his favorite is the one dean makes him and dean wears one that cas made him in turn <3 #it's their unofficial 'going steady' accessory until 2015 #asks #heard from your mother au #glad you're feeling better!!#Anonymous

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qwertyfingers · 3 years

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Hi, I'm curious, could you elaborate on what things people in SPN fandom produce that you wouldn't have been able to filter out as a teen? I'm not really sure what you're referring to. Problematic porn? Bad takes? Wanky fan activity?

okay uh CSA, incest, and suicide trigger warnings for my answer here lol

first off i dont. really think you actually need me to explain this to you and the way this is worded really feels like either an attempt to minimise some truly atrocious shit or like, imply that i think highly of myself which is not true? i'm full of bad takes bro. i don’t care what people are posting as long as it’s not harmful. but there’s a few layers to the issues i was referring to yesterday

1) while it’s gotten a LOT better over the years, the defense of john’s parenting still happens fairly frequently, and as a kid who related extremely deeply to dean’s specific brand of Menhol Eelness that kind of defense of abuse would have really messed with my headspace! it’s messed up in and off itself to defend people who harm their kids - even unintentionally! - but the way that it specifically affects children who are still being abused is the worst of it. every kid with CPTSD who’s ever had to see someone defend behaviours they recognise from their own abusive family as done out of or as excusable because they had a good reason remembers that shit for the rest of their LIFE

there are echoes of what happened to me in dean, both in the abuse and trauma itself and the way it affects him in the aftermath. to see those things minimised by fans can be really re-traumatising for people. i’m very glad that my exposure to it comes at the end of several long stints in hospital and several years of intensive therapy. i don’t know that 18yo me who attempted suicide on a near weekly basis and hallucinated my abusive step father in my house all the time could have coped with takes like ‘its okay because john was drunk and alcoholism isn’t his fault’ or ‘john wasn’t abusiv he was just grieiving’ or ‘john didn’t abuse dean, everything he did was reasonable for their lifestyle’ without becoming deeply unwell.

2) we also all already know how much deeply fucked up incest content gets made and shared in spn circles. like, okay, have made peace with the existence of incest shipping. i blacklist that shit and i move on. most of it is avoidable and i can kind of forget about it if i’m being careful. but some of spn fandom is on another level. people write and draw some shit that is like, actively triggering on the ‘call my therapist and beg to be sectioned’ level. i had to renew my lorazepam prescription for the first time since lockdown started lmao. one of the fandom darling artists literally posted graphic dean/jack porn on their blog next to their really popular castiel art like. i’m not kidding when i say that would have made me hurt myself when i was younger

3) there are a LOT of really weird interactions btwn minors and adults in this fandom and while thats noit something that the corner of tumblr/discord i move through has any real problems with, i still see shit go down in other circles / servers, and the things i saw on the periphery when i was younger tell me it used to be wayyyyyyyyyyyy worse. adults actively encouraging like 13yos to read/write porn, children being pressured into incest content, 30yo+ people having intensely sexual interactions with minors like.

as someone who is generally of the belief that ‘minors n adults shouldnt interact online’ is the dumbest shit i’ve ever heard, supernatural fandom does sometimes make me think im wrong and wish i could set everyone under the age of 18 in a safe enclosure away from some of the insane people that go here like.

in general i think that teens having adult friends in fandom is good becuase it allows an avenue for discussing legitimate issues you have and they can be really helpful to help rpotect young people! I literally owe my adult fandom friends from my own childhood for giving me the lagnuage to talk about the abuse i faced and they were the first people who ever made me feel like i had a way out of my situation. without older online friends i might never have found out that the reason i had no interest in sex was because of trauma, or figured out that the reason reading fic about women or trans men upset me so much was because i was projecting my trauma onto them, and with cis mens bodies i didnt have that issue. i owe all of those things to adults who in the modern day might be chastised for being friends with me because i was young, but i needed them!

all this is to say that i think the breadth of inappropriate adult/minor interactions over the years have led to an environment where a generation of 20-somethings are now terrified of interacting with teenagers (for fear of becoming the adults who traumatised them), and a generation of teenagers who are largely terrified of talking to adults (for fear of being traumatised) and miss out on guiding hands that some of them really need. if the adults in your physical life harm you, and you cannot turn to adults on the internet, what do you do?

4) i’m so tired of people writing underage porn, bro. there are enough adults in this show, grow the fuck up

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hysteriium · 5 years

Text

Karma’s a Bitch; {1}

// Deal With the Devil //

Steady hands met with the flesh of a tense bicep. An arm you knew by now would never relax despite your genuine reassurances.

With one scarred, blind eye and the other distant, refusing to look at you, it was always difficult to tell if he was in the present moment; aware. Or, if the infamous man was miles away, thinking — perhaps about what he’d do to you now if you messed up.

Though, maybe that was your anxiety talking.

Michael definitely wasn’t the nicest patient, there had been plenty of incidents over the years. Fatal ones. Yet, much to doctor Sartain’s persistence, Michael remained in the facility. It wasn’t ethical, but hey, you needed to get paid and so you tried your best to please everyone. Do your job for your boss, Sartain, and take care of Michael, since you were the only nurse who he allowed near him.

You wouldn’t say Michael trusted you. You figured he was quite unacquainted with the notion, yet you knew that he at least tolerated you. Seeming as you hadn’t been slammed against the wall, your brains splattering and contrasting against the blinding whiteness that coated the entire facility, this was a clear fact. A morbid, gory masterpiece that would almost belong in a museum; its message loud and clear.

With a gentle hum, you wrapped the measuring instrument around his arm. It wasn’t a daily process, but one that had to be performed every so often. It was a strict regulation with patients, especially with precious Michael (as your boss would so kindly emphasise), to ensure each patient was fit and healthy.

As you sat across from him, your gentle humming signified your distance from present-tense, your mind flickering elsewhere — dangerous. As your movements went into automation, you were too dazed to notice Michael slowly moving his head towards you; expression vacant, with no evidence of a human being residing within the flesh. It was only after completing the small task of writing down Michael’s scores when you stopped. Michael’s comparatively larger hand had halted you, your pen falling to the ground in a series of taps. It was a firm grip; you could never envision the man being gentle. It was a hold that signified if you made it difficult, there’d be no hesitation in ending your pathetic, significantly weaker, life.

Steady heartbeats morphed into that of panic, a hammering stampede. Taking in the new bits of information, you looked down at the man sitting before you, his gaze spilling into your own with such intensity it was hard to keep your eyes from saccading away. It had the capacity to turn even the hardest men into stone, like that of the great gorgon, Medusa. A flame lay within those dead eyes, ones that harboured the burning desire to kill.

“M-Michael?” Your voice came out as a pained whimper, and if he hadn’t had any indication you were bat shit terrified before, (which you doubted), he sure as hell knew now.

He could smell fear from a mile away.

His grip tightened at the sound of your small voice, the pullback of his arm forcing you closer to him with your faces mere inches apart. The action forced your eyes shut, and you felt your face involuntarily scrunch up in fear as you waited for impending doom. The atmosphere was suffocating, your body hot and tingling with adrenaline as the laboured breathing of your former patient, and soon to be murderer, triumphed. Its flow tickled the base of your neck, strands of your hair softly swaying against his harsh respire.

When you mustered enough courage to look, with the seconds speedily turning into minutes, you opened one glassy eye, tears pricking at the corners and threatening to spill. You weren’t sure which was more horrifying; getting hurt — and perhaps murdered by Michael — or the absence of pain that virtually seemed impossible to associate with the infamous man.

Then, as unexpected as it was abrupt, his strong hand released you.

Curious beyond articulation as to what the fuck happened, you didn’t need to be assaulted twice to know when to scramble out of there. Speedily you exited. Shaking hands collected your equipment before locking his cell. With no interest to look behind you, into the small window his cell had, you failed to witness his gaze still upon you, remaining that way until you completely vanished from view.

But, although you couldn’t see it, you sure as hell felt it.

——————

It had been days, perhaps a couple of weeks, since the incident and you hadn’t been back to see Michael. Despite your bosses protests and his covert empty threats, he was unable to get you back to your regular routine. Treating regular, less murderous patients was now your daily experience, and to be honest, you were much happier.

Living was currently an attractive state of being to you, so you were trying your best to avoid anything that could potentially endanger that. With Michael being the angel of death, it was obvious you would avoid him at all costs.

As for Michael, ever since the incident, he had been attacking the new nurses sent to him (attacks that hadn’t resulted in deaths, yet), or remained as uncooperative as possible. You’d be on shift, minding your own business until the piercing shrieks and cries of Michael’s next victim filled your ears. After awhile it became routine, and you instantly knew where the source was. You’d often see nurses with bruisings on their body, arms, legs, cuts from where he dug in his nails — and most commonly, bruising around the neck. It was particularly heartbreaking, especially since you had been one of the lucky ones; to put up with Michael for such a long time and to be able to continue on your day without an incident was a luxury. You weren’t entirely sure why that was the case. Either way, it didn’t stop the injured nurses' filthy looks whenever another staff member was assaulted, as if you had something to do with it; as if you had some kind of hold over Michael.

No one could control Michael, he was his own person.

Perhaps the violence was his silent protest to get you to return, you weren’t sure and you didn’t want to know. What you did know, however, was that Michael’s poor behaviour only worked to exacerbate the doctor's desperate pleas to return to Michael. He didn’t want the state to get any ideas, and he wanted to keep Michael in his clutches for as long as he possibly could. It was his primary objective, as he had once so nicely conceptualised. Sartain, someone you’d describe as a borderline madman, was still convinced he’d get groundbreaking research from Michael.

Delusional.

You were in one of the equipment rooms, ready to attend to another patient when Sartain strode in, his long lab coat floating in behind him. He made his way to you in long strides, eyes hard and focused with determination, peering into your own like an owl on cocaine.

Without even hearing him speak, you knew what this was about.

“No—“

“Hear me out, (Y/n)!”

“I’m not doing it—“

“He’s attacked another one miss (L/n). They’re transporting him in a few days and I need to know this won’t end up in failure. I need you there.”

You froze, biting your lip in thought, the bitter, metallic taste of blood only seemed fitting as you crossed your arms, contemplating the pros and cons.

The doctor not receiving an answer, interpreted your silence as a small victory, choosing to elaborate.

“He’ll be incredibly secured, chained up and driven in one of our busses. Nothing will go wrong, I can assure you that.”

You definitely needed a chance to think about it. Were you really going to endanger the lives of others just for your own comfort? It was a difficult decision that needed careful thought.

“I’ll be raising your pay, and it’ll be the last time you get to see Michael.”

Nevermind.

“Resorted to bribing now, sir?” You finally spoke up, a small smile tugging at your lips.

He shot you a playful smile, “so I’ll take that as a yes?”

Releasing a sigh, you slowly nod your head, barely believing what you were agreeing too.

“Okay, yes. Only if you’re certain it’s safe.”

“Utterly, and completely.”

As his smirk widened, happy at his win, you couldn’t help but feel like you were making a deal with the devil. A deal you felt you’d totally, and wholey, regret.

If only you knew how right you were.

Hey guys! This is my first three-shot / miniseries? Idk what to call it lmao. But I hope you enjoy! I'm really happy with how some of it turned out, I hope my characterisation of Michael is somewhat realistic. I don't particularly believe the narrative that he's completely unfeeling and further, incapable of feeling. I certainly do think due to the environment he grew up in (in the sanitarium), he was unable to really express and develop said emotions. With the added mixture of Loomis, and his psychobabble (he really needs his licence revoked), I really don't think that helped him lmao and this obviously added to the myth of 'The Shape'. Although Michael's emotions would be hard to access and even draw out in the first place, I still think it's possible that he'd feel some sort of affections for someone? It'll be very hard though. I also believe if he were to start feeling things for someone, he'd definitely be very confused, and it would lead to a lot of emotional outbursts, particularly anger - rage even - because of how unfamiliar it is; also due to how anger and rage are so "normal" for lack of a better word, he'd try his hardest to regress/revert back to some sense of familiarity. Though like how it is for most, repression of emotions really doesn't work, and this would thereby manifest itself as intense bouts of possessiveness and jealousy. Idk that's just my opinion and my own interpretation, I could be really fucking wrong lmao but I guess that's the beauty of writing. Anyway, Jesus, I'm rambling, I'll be surprised if anyone even reads this lmao. Thank you for reading if you did, I love you and I hope you enjoy!

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illfoandillfie · 4 years

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Hi!! So I took a small class tonight about tarot cards and I’m SO EXCITED to start! Do you have any advice for somebody just starting out?

oh thats so cool, i’m excited for you! what sort of stuff did the class cover?

I’ve got 4 main points of advice but i’ve broken them down into smaller sections based on what i’ve used and what i’ve seen others talk about. Take what you feel works, ignore what you think won’t help or what sounds dumb or whatever. There are so many ways to approach tarot and what worked for me won’t necessarily work for you so test things out and play around with it. If you have any more questions about things i haven’t covered or if you want me to elaborate on anything or link some more resources please let me know!

Tip 1: Get a deck.

obvious place to start but having the cards is an easy first step lmao. there are also apps available if you can’t get a physical copy but being able to shuffle a physical decks will probably help you connect to it better.

I recommend something based on the Rider Waite Smith imagery because so much of the images inform the meanings of the cards and will help you learn - there are tonnes of different RWS decks out there, This one is quite bright, This one is a bit more muted in colour, This one has redone the art so it’s in the art nouveau style while keeping the RWS images, This one has modernised it so it’s not just white men on most of the cards

If you want some more suggestions for good decks for beginners I recommend watching THIS video or looking around youtube. Tarot readers/cardslingers/whatever you want to call them like showing off their collections. There are so many videos of people talking about which decks they own and showing off what the cards look like (even i made one lmao) so it’s a great way to get an idea of what a deck looks like and the size of the cards or even the weight of the cardstock they’re made with, even if you can’t physically touch them.

But the easiest way is to find a deck in your local bookstore and see how it feels for you. You want something you enjoy looking at, and that resonates for you because you’ll be able to connect with it easier

After that you can branch out if you want. Some readers only have one deck that they do everything with, others collect decks like people collect coins. Personally I like using different decks for different questions but a solid RWS deck will work for anything so if that’s all you feel you need then that’s cool too.

Tip 2: Start a Tarot Journal

this is what i did when i started. I bought a cheap notebook from the newsagency on my way to work and I dedicated 2 pages to every card. I titled them and then wrote down what the little white books that came with the decks i had said about each card as well as made notes on what imagery/symbolism was on each card. As I’ve learnt more I’ve added to these pages, observances i’ve made about when the cards are likely to appear, things i’ve seen other readers comment on (like someone i follow refers to the 5 of cups (i think) as the unrequited love card), relations to astrology, anything interesting i’ve read about the cards that i didn’t already have written down.

At the back end of the notebook I write down results for interviews i do with new decks

and i also have a section for particular spreads i like after all of the individual card pages but there are so many things you can write about in tarot journals.

i’ve seen some people do a daily card draw in the morning and write what the card could be referring to and then at the end of the day they write about what happened and how it related to the cards

I’ve seen others that try to relate song lyrics or movie quotes to each card to help them remember what the card means.

if you look for ideas on google or youtube i’m sure you’ll find examples of what people do with tarot journals.

Tip 3: Seek out info from other readers

One way to do this is books. There are so many book out there, especially for beginners, that talk about advice for reading cards, ways to help you learn the meanings, spreads that come in handy, etc. I read a book called Kitchen Table Tarot by Melissa Cynova when i was first learning and found it really helpful. But there are heaps of others out there too. Most bookstores will have a “new age” section so browse around and see if theres something you like the look of. Same goes for libraries. Or places like audible if you like audio books.

Podcasts are also a thing. I don’t have any specific recommendations but i’ve come across references to witchy podcasts so I’m sure there’d be something tarot specific out there.

Youtube is also brilliant. I love watching pick a card reading videos. It’s a really easy way to see how other readers interpret cards, what sort of systems they use. I like Siren Tarot and Charmed Intuition Tarot. They both read very differently. Siren uses multiple tarot decks in rows to figure out the story. Charmed is more likely to combine her tarot cards with oracle cards and she reads charms as well and sometimes uses a pendulum.

There’s also a witchy community on tumblr as well, so have a look around, maybe follow some people or lurk in tags.

Tip 4: Practice.

Read for yourself, asking different questions. Love life, career, friendship, family relationships, goals you have, whatever comes to mind. Do daily/weekly/monthly readings for yourself. Get a feel for how the cards operate. Start with one card, learn how to interpret it, what it might mean in relation to your question. Then add another couple of cards, see how the meaning gets clarified by what appears around it. Make notes as you go. This is where a journal comes in handy because if you write down what cards come up and what happens on those days you can start seeing patterns and that helps you understand the cards better next time they come up.

Read for others too. People you trust that you feel won’t make fun of you learning tarot or won’t talk shit about it. Close friends, family. Or, if you don’t have anyone irl, do what I did and let people ask for readings online. Start a specific blog for it if you want. It’s good if you know them irl because you can easily ask them how things turned out, see if you were on the money or if your interpretation was off then you can go back to what was drawn for them and see how it connects, if it does at all.

Don’t be afraid to read cards with the guidebook in your hand. That’s what they’re there for, to help you understand the cards. You can often get a sense of the card, if it’s positive or negative and what its meaning is, by looking at the imagery but use the books for as long as you need!

Create your own rituals around your cards. Some guides will tell you to sleep with your deck under your pillow or beside your bed so you can connect with it as you sleep, some will tell you to cleanse your deck in sunshine or moonlight or with smoke from a candle or by placing a specific type of crystal on top of it. Figure out what works for you. Cleansing can come in handy, especially if you do something that’s emotionally heavy, being able to clear that energy from your deck will give you better results in the next reading but if letting your deck sit in the moonlight sounds kinda crazy to you don’t do it. Personally, when i’m getting ready to do readings I light a candle and make a cup of tea or coffee. I’ll knock on the deck to wake it up and maybe pass it over the top of the candle if I feel like it. It’s about making a space you feel comfortable in.

Don’t read when you’re emotionally compromised. If you’re completely distressed and having the worst week of your life your results aren’t going to be as clear or accurate as if you’re in a more stable frame of mind. It’s why a lot of people like to meditate for a bit before they do readings. It lets them centre themselves and focus their energy on the cards.

Don’t be afraid of your intuition. If you draw a card and a phrase pops into your mind, include it in your reading. If you see something on the card, even if it’s a small image, and you feel like it’s important, mention it or note it down or whatever. It might seem like it comes from out of nowhere but it’s your intuition picking up on something small you might not even realise you’ve noticed.

#this got a little long oops #i just had a lot to say #and i've probably forgotten stuff lmao #i'm also going to start tagging this stuff as #tarot advice #so ya'll should be able to find it easily #if you ever want to #seriously tho #please feel free to come back and ask more questions or tell me if you try any of these and they work for you #i love the idea of helping baby tarot readers find their feet!#even if i'[d still class myself as a baby reader lmao #Anonymous

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vancilocs · 4 years

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Quina and gene and alix and anders?

chaos men and one sensible woman

1. Who said I love you first?

Quina, Gene is not very talkative. But saving someone from a dragon is quite a declaration of love when you could have just walked away

Anders, and Alix was like ayy lmao wanna sandwich

2. Who laughs and kisses their partner on the cheek while their partner isn’t happy about something trivial to try and make them feel better?

Gene doesn’t get from 0 to a 100 because he’s at like 60 constantly but if he’s fussy about a crab running away or something Quina gives him a kiss and he momentarily goes down to a 20

Anders’s mage worries are hardly trivial but Alix giving a kiss with a laugh is a nice distraction sometimes

3. Who cuddles up to the other after a long day at work, and this soon escalates to a playful pillow fight?

Gene would never hit Quina even with a pillow and softly but he will grapple her if she punts him over the head

Both are exhausted after a long day of work, just collapse after mending all the wounds Alix gets because he’s an idiot and Anders is a healer

4. What is something that they gave one another that has a lot of meaning?

The ring, but mainly it’s things they’ve done, like Gene whacking bullies away with a flaming stick and Quina then healing the bruises he got from getting rocks thrown at him (and his burned hands). Also keeping on healing him when he’s gone out to find trouble. He’s brought her lots of herbs for her healing needs as well, wrestles a goblin for the last sunbright flower

Actual gifts are the Tevinter chantry amulet Alix gave Anders, otherwise it’s Alix giving his full support and companionship and love to him through his crusade and Anders giving his love back (and healing the idiot)

5. How would one another describe their partner?

Quina just says Gene is so devoted and dedicated and calm and gentle and loving and everyone looks at her like she’s mad. Gene will just say that it’s her and refuse to elaborate and everyone kinda knows.

Alix admires Anders’s passion and devotion and his dramatics, Anders’ very dramatic ass (will drown the world in blood to keep Alix safe) would undoubtedly say something very overblown while Alix is just like :) babe

6. Who wraps their arms around their partner as they look them in the eyes and compliments them with a goofy smile?

Anyone else than Quina getting so close to Gene would get shoved away but with her he just takes her into an embrace and gets almost flustered by being complimented

Alix has compliments to say, and he’s goofy as fuck

7. Who loves saying ‘my wife’ or ‘my husband’ or ‘my spouse’?

Gene screams “that’s my WIFE” and atomic elbows a spider harassing her

They’re not really married but at some point after the game Alix will start calling Anders his husband (like “don’t talk about my husband like that” or “my husband’s so great” or when talking with the Inquisitor)

8. Who always talks about how amazing their partner is when their partner isn’t there and they just light up with genuine love and happiness?

Quina, Gene’s not talkative and doesn’t really hang out with anyone, she’s just watching him with their kid digging in the sand and says he’s so wonderful, isn’t he

Both, Varric is getting bored (Alix is considerate enough not to talk about Anders around Fenris bc he values their friendship) and Anders’s clinic buddies are tired about hearing the Champion

9. Who loves it when their partner kisses them good morning?

Gene goes out at dawn to look for critters on the beach but returns soon enough, kisses Quina awake and lays back down for a moment while she wakes up

Both enjoy their sleep but if they gotta be waken up in any way it’s by a kiss

10. Who shows the other how to balance a spoon on their nose?

If anyone then Quina who learned it from someone and Gene thinks it’s witchcraft

Alix

11. Who loves to pull pranks on the other? What type of pranks do they pull and do they pull their pranks off?

They don’t really do pranks

Alix might try something small, like taking scrap paper and drawing cat pawprints in ink on it and leaving it on Anders’s desk

12. What is something small that they would randomly pick up for one another?

Gene picks up anything, but mainly brings in flowers for Quina (she can pick what she needs for curatives and the rest can be decorative, Gene doesn’t know the difference and he eats anything anyways)

Alix picks up spell/potion ingredients when traipsing around the wilderness, picked up a chantry amulet at that one point, feathers!!! Picks any feather he sees

13. Who is the one who can’t stop laughing when trying to tell a joke?

Quina, Gene waits patiently.

Alix, a lil tipsy and remembering something funny that happened that day

14. Who would plan the other a surprise birthday party?

Nobody knows how old Gene is exactly and Quina accepts just spending time together for her birthday, he might pick up something (from the store, not the beach) for them both to eat that morning

Anders lets it slip his birthday is coming up/it was recently so Alix panics and arranges a party at his house (it’s just him, his mom, Bodahn and Sandal and copious amounts of wine). The gift is a new quill, more ink and more paper to write his manifestos with.

15. Who picks the other person up when hugging their partner?

Gene is stronk as fuck, doesn’t squeeze too hard but lifts up (not that he’s much taller than her so not super high)

Neither. They’re twink ass mages both of them

#quina prepares flowers to be used in potions and gene just eats the leaves and stems she cuts off #'beloved that is poisonous'#'yea i know'#'spit it out'#he goes out for the day and comes back covered in mud with a bag full of harspuds #long oc thing #it's oc x canon i guess?#alix brings a feather to anders and is like is this yours #nevermind his pauldrons are grey and the feather is obviously from a seagull #anders is just like yes my love thank you and sticks it into his pauldron

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aygstuff · 6 years

Text

Finally doing one of these tags

I’m so sorry for everyone tagging me over and over, I do see you. I just store them for later and then never get to it but I appreciate very much that people still remember me T_T #mood Thank you @funkypoacher

1. What is the favourite item of clothing you own?

I’ve recently bought tons of extremely cute winter-wear like cat-eared earmuffs but at the end of the day, the thing that I just wear constantly is going to be my plaid. It’s my snail shell, I’ll never let go

2. Tell me about the first time you watched your favourite movie?

I’m not a movie person :( I guess my favourite one is going to be Madoka Magica Rebellion ? The first time I watched it, it was a very not-legal camera rip-off from the japanese premiere. I couldn’t even see the whole screen but it was still very enjoyable™ (I’m 500% going to buy it don’t worry).

3. What was the last book you finished?

[thinking] [going to the library website] It was Géographie des homophobies (Geography of Homophobias), 2013. A bunch of geographic studies about queerphobias. The only fictions I still read are all fanfictions lol I just consume so many studies/articles every day.

4. What is the next book you want to read?

I *need* to pull it together and reborrow Voulons-nous vraiment l’égalité ? (Do we really want equality ?), 2015, because I stopped by the half of it and am extremely unsatisfied with this outcome. This book is going to be a huge part of my mental landscape but it’s my first political philosophy book ToT The sentences are so hard to figure out sometimes. (It’s a habit in french academics to use the most elaborate way to say very simple things)

5. When is your birthday, and what do you want for it this year? (If your birthday has already happened this year, did you get what you had your heart set on?)

Hopefully my girlfriend will be with me for an extended chunk of time this summer around July 31st ♥ I hope we can have a nice lil party with my 2 friends. I’ve had only 1 or 2 bd-parties in my entire lifetime.

6. If you were given one month and $10,000, where would you travel to?

It’s all going straight into the bank account. €8100 aint nothing to waste. The only place I ever want to be is “safe”

7. Cake or pie?

So I’ve just moved and I am finally able to experience live with an oven. I’ve baked 3 cakes in 3 weeks. CHOCO CAKE.

8. Name 3 things you think you’re really good at.

I wish someone could do this to help me figure out my strenghts tbh.

So far I’ve been good at handling paperwork to ensure mid-term safety, I can generalize this to be decent at planning stuff probably. I’ve become really good at drawing, I can pretty much draw anything by now. The Solas phase even got me drawing men lmao, unbelievable. And... Oh, yes, I’m extremely good at empathy which is as good as it can be a struggle.

9. Name 3 things you’d like to be better at.

Omg. I wish I could speak to people but without going throught the pain of trying and trying until my brain gives up and complies because it’s a nightmare. Of course I had to choose a path in social science and activism AKA the introvert-crushing course. I wish I could manage my anxieties in general, and I wish I could stick to something for longer than a month. :(

10. Name 3 far-fetched dreams you’d like to do someday.

Lol. I want to manage my own local organization for comforting people and teaching them self-care and self-compassion. Also I would like to... Complete some kind of education ? Because it feels so impossible tbh, as much as I am highly interested in my studies I put so much freaking pressure on myself I can’t make it throught. Aaaand... I want to find a meaningful way to go by my days. My far-fetched dreams are desperately basic but that’s how bad the disability is.

11. If you had to dye your hair, what colour would you dye it?

I TRIED SO HARD TO GET PiNK HAIR OMG I can’t bleach white enough and my favourite pink washes off into weird-orange in 2 weeks, while splatting dye all over my clothes and bed for days. It’s a nightmare. I gave up and redyed natural mid-brown the next year. Might try out green someday because I’ve become such an elf nerd. :)

I’m tagging @pakupiranha if you want to and haven’t done it yet but no pressure dw you’re busy

#ask tag #I'm supposed to send these to my secondary blog but #i kind of want to use it as a giant bookmark now #the struggle #cant spam my own trashblog lmao #so it goes to the art blog instead #this makes no sense

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