#I thought her name was plural oops | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bakug0stw1nk · 3 years

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Hello, everyone! This is the LONGEST TEXT EVER! I was inspired by the various other "longest texts ever" on the internet, and I wanted to make my own. So here it is! This is going to be a WORLD RECORD! This is actually my third attempt at doing this. The first time, I didn't save it. The second time, the Neocities editor crashed. Now I'm writing this in Notepad, then copying it into the Neocities editor instead of typing it directly in the Neocities editor to avoid crashing. It sucks that my past two attempts are gone now. Those actually got pretty long. Not the longest, but still pretty long. I hope this one won't get lost somehow. Anyways, let's talk about WAFFLES! I like waffles. Waffles are cool. Waffles is a funny word. There's a Teen Titans Go episode called "Waffles" where the word "Waffles" is said a hundred-something times. It's pretty annoying. There's also a Teen Titans Go episode about Pig Latin. Don't know what Pig Latin is? It's a language where you take all the consonants before the first vowel, move them to the end, and add '-ay' to the end. If the word begins with a vowel, you just add '-way' to the end. For example, "Waffles" becomes "Afflesway". I've been speaking Pig Latin fluently since the fourth grade, so it surprised me when I saw the episode for the first time. I speak Pig Latin with my sister sometimes. It's pretty fun. I like speaking it in public so that everyone around us gets confused. That's never actually happened before, but if it ever does, 'twill be pretty funny. By the way, "'twill" is a word I invented recently, and it's a contraction of "it will". I really hope it gains popularity in the near future, because "'twill" is WAY more fun than saying "it'll". "It'll" is too boring. Nobody likes boring. This is nowhere near being the longest text ever, but eventually it will be! I might still be writing this a decade later, who knows? But right now, it's not very long. But I'll just keep writing until it is the longest! Have you ever heard the song "Dau Dau" by Awesome Scampis? It's an amazing song. Look it up on YouTube! I play that song all the time around my sister! It drives her crazy, and I love it. Another way I like driving my sister crazy is by speaking my own made up language to her. She hates the languages I make! The only language that we both speak besides English is Pig Latin. I think you already knew that. Whatever. I think I'm gonna go for now. Bye! Hi, I'm back now. I'm gonna contribute more to this soon-to-be giant wall of text. I just realised I have a giant stuffed frog on my bed. I forgot his name. I'm pretty sure it was something stupid though. I think it was "FROG" in Morse Code or something. Morse Code is cool. I know a bit of it, but I'm not very good at it. I'm also not very good at French. I barely know anything in French, and my pronunciation probably sucks. But I'm learning it, at least. I'm also learning Esperanto. It's this language that was made up by some guy a long time ago to be the "universal language". A lot of people speak it. I am such a language nerd. Half of this text is probably gonna be about languages. But hey, as long as it's long! Ha, get it? As LONG as it's LONG? I'm so funny, right? No, I'm not. I should probably get some sleep. Goodnight! Hello, I'm back again. I basically have only two interests nowadays: languages and furries. What? Oh, sorry, I thought you knew I was a furry. Haha, oops. Anyway, yeah, I'm a furry, but since I'm a young furry, I can't really do as much as I would like to do in the fandom. When I'm older, I would like to have a fursuit, go to furry conventions, all that stuff. But for now I can only dream of that. Sorry you had to deal with me talking about furries, but I'm honestly very desperate for this to be the longest text ever. Last night I was watching nothing but fursuit unboxings. I think I need help. This one time, me and my mom were going to go to a furry Christmas party, but we didn't end up going because of the fact that there was alcohol on the premises, and that she didn't wanna have to be a mom dragging her son through a crowd of furries. Both of those reasons were understandable. Okay, hopefully I won't have to talk about furries anymore. I don't care if you're a furry reading this right now, I just don't wanna have to torture everyone else. I will no longer say the F word throughout the rest of this entire text. Of course, by the F word, I mean the one that I just used six times, not the one that you're probably thinking of which I have not used throughout this entire text. I just realised that next year will be 2020. That's crazy! It just feels so futuristic! It's also crazy that the 2010s decade is almost over. That decade brought be a lot of memories. In fact, it brought be almost all of my memories. It'll be sad to see it go. I'm gonna work on a series of video lessons for Toki Pona. I'll expain what Toki Pona is after I come back. Bye! 'm back now, and I decided not to do it on Toki Pona, since many other people have done Toki Pona video lessons already. I decided to do it on Viesa, my English code. Now, I shall explain what Toki Pona is. Toki Pona is a minimalist constructed language that has only ~120 words! That means you can learn it very quickly. I reccomend you learn it! It's pretty fun and easy! Anyway, yeah, I might finish my video about Viesa later. But for now, I'm gonna add more to this giant wall of text, because I want it to be the longest! It would be pretty cool to have a world record for the longest text ever. Not sure how famous I'll get from it, but it'll be cool nonetheless. Nonetheless. That's an interesting word. It's a combination of three entire words. That's pretty neat. Also, remember when I said that I said the F word six times throughout this text? I actually messed up there. I actually said it ten times (including the plural form). I'm such a liar! I struggled to spell the word "liar" there. I tried spelling it "lyer", then "lier". Then I remembered that it's "liar". At least I'm better at spelling than my sister. She's younger than me, so I guess it's understandable. "Understandable" is a pretty long word. Hey, I wonder what the most common word I've used so far in this text is. I checked, and appearantly it's "I", with 59 uses! The word "I" makes up 5% of the words this text! I would've thought "the" would be the most common, but "the" is only the second most used word, with 43 uses. "It" is the third most common, followed by "a" and "to". Congrats to those five words! If you're wondering what the least common word is, well, it's actually a tie between a bunch of words that are only used once, and I don't wanna have to list them all here. Remember when I talked about waffles near the beginning of this text? Well, I just put some waffles in the toaster, and I got reminded of the very beginnings of this longest text ever. Okay, that was literally yesterday, but I don't care. You can't see me right now, but I'm typing with my nose! Okay, I was not able to type the exclamation point with just my nose. I had to use my finger. But still, I typed all of that sentence with my nose! I'm not typing with my nose right now, because it takes too long, and I wanna get this text as long as possible quickly. I'm gonna take a break for now! Bye! Hi, I'm back again. My sister is beside me, watching me write in this endless wall of text. My sister has a new thing where she just says the word "poop" nonstop. I don't really like it. She also eats her own boogers. I'm not joking. She's gross like that. Also, remember when I said I put waffles in the toaster? Well, I forgot about those and I only ate them just now. Now my sister is just saying random numbers. Now she's saying that they're not random, they're the numbers being displayed on the microwave. Still, I don't know why she's doing that. Now she's making annoying clicking noises. Now she's saying that she's gonna watch Friends on three different devices. Why!?!?! Hi its me his sister. I'd like to say that all of that is not true. Max wants to make his own video but i wont let him because i need my phone for my alarm.POOP POOP POOP POOP LOL IM FUNNY. kjnbhhisdnhidfhdfhjsdjksdnjhdfhdfghdfghdfbhdfbcbhnidjsduhchyduhyduhdhcduhduhdcdhcdhjdnjdnhjsdjxnj Hey, I'm back. Sorry about my sister. I had to seize control of the LTE from her because she was doing keymash. Keymash is just effortless. She just went back to school. She comes home from school for her lunch break. I think I'm gonna go again. Bye! Hello, I'm back. Let's compare LTE's. This one is only 8593 characters long so far. Kenneth Iman's LTE is 21425 characters long. The Flaming-Chicken LTE (the original) is a whopping 203941 characters long! I think I'll be able to surpass Kenneth Iman's not long from now. But my goal is to surpass the Flaming-Chicken LTE. Actually, I just figured out that there's an LTE longer than the Flaming-Chicken LTE. It's Hermnerps LTE, which is only slightly longer than the Flaming-Chicken LTE, at 230634 characters. My goal is to surpass THAT. Then I'll be the world record holder, I think. But I'll still be writing this even after I achieve the world record, of course. One time, I printed an entire copy of the Bee Movie script for no reason. I heard someone else say they had three copies of the Bee Movie script in their backpack, and I got inspired. But I only made one copy because I didn't want to waste THAT much paper. I still wasted quite a bit of paper, though. Now I wanna see how this LTE compares to the Bee Movie script. Okay, I checked, and the Bee Movie script is 50753 characters long. Not as long as some of the LTEs I mentioned, but still longer than mine and Kenneth Iman's combined. This LTE is getting close to 10000 characters! That means it'll be half the length of Kenneth Iman's LTE. That's pretty exciting. Also, going back to the topic of the Bee Movie Script, I tried to write the entire thing out by hand once. But I never finished it, especially since I'm focusing on this thing now. Maybe I should write this LTE out by hand. Nah, I don't think I will. Yay, we're at 10000 characters! Let's celebrate by talking about MUSIC! Music is cool. That concludes our celebratory discussion about music. Thank you, and have a good rest of your day. Hi, I'm back now, and I got a book! It's a dictionary for a language called Elefen. It's like Esperanto, but better. Now I can learn Elefen even without internet! That's pretty cool. I will now write something in Elefen. See if you can understand it! Here goes: Si tu pote leje esta, tu es merveliosa! Elefen es un lingua multe fresca! Did you understand that? Maybe you can't speak Elefen, but you still understood that because of your knowledge of other languages. Elefen is cool because it's an actual language, not an English code like Pig Latin or Viesa. Oh, I forgot to mention that my sister is back from school. She's blasting Rhett and Link songs right now. Have you seen that picture of Rhett and Link standing with a bunch of *******? Sorry, I almost said the F word there. That would've broken my rule of not saying the F word. I wrote something in Elefen, so I will also write something in Toki Pona. See if you can understand it now! sina sona e toki mi la sina pona mute a! I can speak Toki Pona fluently, by the way. It's also a pretty cool language. My sister is still playing annoying songs. It's hindering my focus right now. But it's fiiiiine. Okay, luckily she's run out of songs to play. At least for now. She's trying to think of another annoying song to play. Now she's playing a song by Green Day. Not NEARLY as bad as the other songs she just played. I should go for now. Goodbye! Hello, I'm back once again. I don't know why I feel obligated to say that every time I come back. But I'll keep doing it anyway. My sister stopped blasting annoying songs, so that's good. She's cooking something in the microwave. I'll go check to see what it is right now. Nevermind, it's already done cooking. Right, I remember! It's mac and cheese! Now she just started singing "I have a tongue, you don't, because I cut it off yesterday". I don't know what goes on in her mind when she does stuff like that. I've been messing around with my Elefen dictionary for a while, looking up whatever random words I can think of. By the way, the whole reason I'm doing this longest text ever is because of pointlesssites.com. That's how I found the Flaming-Chicken LTE, which inspired me to start writing this LTE. So thanks, pointlesssites.com! I check that website every day to see what new pointless websites they add. You know, I could double every letter I type so that this text would be twice as long as it normally would be. But nah, that's kinda cheating. So I won't. Also, SUBSCRIBE TO PEWDIEPIE! There, I did my part. Not that anyone will read this, but still. 'Twould be nice if you subscribed to PewDiePie. That's another word I invented. Actually, I looked it up, and I didn't invent it. Someone came up with it before I did. That's pretty sad. Also, LEARN VIESA TODAY! IT WILL CURE YOUR DEPRESSION! Seriously though, learn Viesa. It won't actually cure your depression, but I'm desperate for speakers. I only have one other person to speak it with. I should go now. Goodbye. Hi, I’m back. I just came up with an idea: SIMPLIFIED ENGLISH! Or, in Simplified Engish: Simifid Enis. It’s where every group of consonant letters is reduced to the first consonant in that group of consonants, and same goes with the vowels. If a word ends up being just a single consonant with no vowel, put ‘a’ at the end. So “I like eating my waffles” becomes “I like etin ma wafes”. Isn’t it the most amazing thing ever? Nah, it’s not quite as amazing as Viesa. Actually, Viesa isn’t a real language, so it’s less amazing then Elefen and Toki Pona, both of which are cool languages. I kinda figured that half of this text would be about languages. Oh well. I just really want this to be the longest text ever, without using copy and paste, keymash, etc. If you remember, my sister did a little bit of keymash in this text a while ago. I would’ve deleted it, but nah, I didn’t feel like it. And besides, it’s not like it took up half this text. I have an estimate for how long it’ll take me to be the world record holder: about one month. I think I can manage one month of writing this. You know what? I’m just gonna break my rule of not saying the word “furry”. There, I said it. Now I’m allowing myself to write “furry” whenever I want. So with that out of the way, let’s talk about how I first became a furry. For some reason, I have the exact date when I became a furry memorized. It’s May 4, 2018. At that time, I discovered that I was a furry by watching some furry YouTube videos. I knew about the existence of furries years before this, but I didn’t know much about it until this time. I said to myself, “You know what? I’m a furry now,” and that’s what started it all. And I’ve been slowly learning more about the fandom ever since. I would like to participate more in the fandom when I’m older, but I’m too young for most of it right now. Guess I’ll just have to wait. But in the meantime, I can write about it in this text. I should sleep now. Goodnight. Hello, I'm back once again. Happy Pi Day! I memorized a bunch of digits of Pi once, not sure how many I still remember... I have literally nothing to write about now. I've been trying to come up with something for the past 10 minutes, and I still have no idea. Literally nothing is happening right now. It's pretty boring. My sister is watching Friends, as usual. Okay, since there's nothing for me to write about, I should go now. Bye! Wow, it has been a while since I last added to this. It is now July 10, 2019. Last time I edited this page was Pi Day, which was March 14. Those 4 months of this thing being untouched end today! Wait... 4 months? That means I was supposed to get this past the world record three months ago. Oh well. I have put many things into this text. A lot of them were cringy, like how I keep mentioning furry-related things. You know, I should stop putting things in here when I know I'm gonna cringe at them later. I'll try not to do that from here on out. I just know I'll fail though. I'd hate to be aware of someone reading this entire thing... like, if I had to sit and watch a family member or something read this entire text, I would cringe so hard. I would not want that to happen. I am currently pasting the entirety of the FlamingChicken LTE onto a page on OurWorldOfText. The frustrating thing about pasting stuff there is that it pastes one letter at a time, so it takes forever to paste long text. And when the tab isn't open, I'm pretty sure it just stops pasting, so you have to keep the tab open if you want it to continue. Why am I even doing this? No idea. I might not even paste the whole thing. I probably won't. Hey, I just had a thought. What if, in the future, students are reading this for a class assignment? What if this LTE becomes part of the school curriculum? If so, hi future student! I hope you're enjoying reading my CRINGE. What is my life coming to? That's enough writing for now. Goodbye. Hey again. Might as well continue writing in here for a bit. Hey, have you ever heard of 3D Movie Maker? It's a program from the 90s (that still works on modern computers) where you can make 3D animated movies. It's pretty cool. I've made a few movies with it myself, and many other people use it to make interesting stuff. In case you want to try it for yourself, I'm sure if you google "3dmm download" or something like that, it will take you somewhere where you can download the program. It's kinda aimed at younger children, but hopefully that doesn't stop you from making absolute masterpieces with this program. I have a keyboard in my room (the musical kind, not the one you type words on), and I don't really know how to play it properly, but I do it anyways. I can play a few songs on the piano (albeit with weird fingering because like I just said, I have no idea what I'm doing), including HOME - Resonance and PilotRedSun - Bodybuilder. You might not know one or both of those songs. If you don't know one of them, why not google it? You will have discovered some new music, and it will all be because of me. Why are you reading this, anyways? How did you even find it? Were you like me, and you were browsing pointlesssites.com, eventually finding the FlamingChicken LTE and going down a rabbit hole of discovering random LTEs? Literally the only reason I'm writing this right now is because that happened. I just discovered a new LTE: the RainbowFluffySheep LTE. I'm gonna see how many characters long it is. 75,957 characters. Pretty long, but not as long as the top two LTEs (FlamingChicken and Hermnerps, both with around 200,000 characters). I wanna write as much as possible into this text today. I'm gonna see how much LTE-writing I can do in one day. Hopefully it's a lot, because I wanna hold a world record! Imagine having a world record. Well, would it really be a world record? Because I don't know of any world record books that have "Longest Text Ever" as a record. Oh well, I just hope this LTE passes exactly 230,634 characters. That's all my goal is. I'm not even a tenth of the way there yet, but give it a month and I'm sure I'll get there. Hey, remember last time I said it would only take a month? That was four months ago. I should just stop promising things all together at this point. Forget I said anything about that. Did you know my sister has an LTE? That's right! It's not very long, though, and you can't read it because it's on her phone. She made it while bored at the library. That library was where I used to have web design classes. Those were fun, but I don't do them anymore. Now all I do it sit at home and write stuff in here. Well, I'm exaggerating. I go to the convenience store with my sister sometimes. But that's pretty much it outside of being bored on a computer. I should be a less boring human being. One day, I should translate this entire LTE into Viesa. That would be a big waste of time, even bigger than writing the LTE itself. But I could still do it. I don't think I ever will. This text is simply too long, and it'll be even longer than that by the time I pass 230,634 characters. By the way, if you think I'm gonna stop writing this once I pass 230,634 characters, you're wrong! Because I'll keep writing this even after I pass that point. It'll feel nice to be way ahead the record. My sister's alarm clock has been going off for half an hour and I haven't turned it off. Why? Because LAZYNESS! Actually, I really should turn it off now. There, I turned it off. First when I tried to turn it off, it started playing the radio. Then I tried again, and it turned off completely. Then I hurt myself on the door while walking out. So that was quite the adventure. I'm gonna go sleep now. Goodnight! Hey, I'm back again. My computer BSOD'd while writing this, so I have to start this section over again. That's why you save your work, kids! Before I had to start over again, I was talking about languages. Yes, I decided to bring that topic back after a while. But I no longer want to talk about it. Why? Because it'll probably bore you to death. That is assuming you're reading this at all. Who knows, maybe absolutely zero people will read this within the span of the universe's existence. But I doubt that. There's gotta be someone who'll find this text and dedicate their time to reading it, even if it takes thousands of years for that to happen. What will happen to this LTE in a thousand years? Will the entire internet dissapear within that time? In that case, will this text dissapear with it? Or will it, along with the rest of what used to be the internet, be preserved somewhere? I'm thinking out loud right now. Well, not really "out loud" because I'm typing this, and you can't technically be loud through text. THE CLOSEST THING IS TYPING IN ALL CAPS. Imagine if I typed this entire text like that. That would be painful. I decided to actually save my work this time, in case of another crash. I already had my two past attempts at an LTE vanish from existance. I mean, most of this LTE is already stored on Neocities, so I probably won't need to worry about anything. I think I might change the LTE page a little. I want the actual text area to be larger. I'm gonna make it a very basic HTML page with just a header and text. Maybe with some CSS coloring. I don't know. Screw it, I'm gonna do it. There, now the text area is larger. It really does show how small this LTE is so far compared to FlamingChicken or Hermnerps. But at least I made the background a nice Alice Blue. That's the name of the CSS color I used. It's pretty light. We're getting pretty close to the 1/10 mark! That's the point where we're one tenth of the way to making this the longest text ever, meaning all I have to do is write the equivalent of everything I've already written so far nine more times! Not gonna make any promises, though. How come every time I try to type "though", it comes out as "thought"? Why do I always type the extra T? It's so annoying that I have to delete the T every time. Okay, only mildly annoying. Not as annoying as I previously described. I apologize for my exaggeration of the annoyance level of me typing "thought" instead of "though". I just realized that most of the games I play are games that I've been playing for at least six years. I started playing Garry's Mod in 2013, Minecraft in whatever year version 1.2.3 came out. Now I have to look that up. March 2, 2012. So I started playing Minecraft approximately during that time. Wow, seven years ago! Coincidentally, I was also seven years old then. I remember the days of 2012-13. That was when I still played Roblox and made terrible YouTube videos. I was called "Infinite Budgets" back then. I also remember the days of 2016. A lot of people thought that was a terrible year, but for me personally, it brings me a lot of nostalgia because I talked a lot with my online friend at the time, and I did livestreams on YouTube and stuff. It was fun. 2016 was also when I got the phone that I still have to this day. Yup, my phone is three years old. My life was completely different when I got this phone: I was 11 years old, my YouTube channel actually had activity, and I wasn’t writing this text. I’m currently writing this in the car. We are on out way to the dollar store. And since I’m writing this on my phone, I’m making a lot more typos than usual. Some of them might make it through, so be prepared for that. Anyways, we appear to be getting close to the dollar store. I have a gift card for that place. I think so anyways, it might be for a different store... Yup, this dollar store is different. Oh well. My sister has an obsession with sponges. I’m sure she’s gonna find the sponges and go crazy over them. Why does she like sponges so much? No idea. She just found a bag of tiny baby dolls, and she wants to put them in ice cubes and call it “Ice Ice Baby”. She is truly a strange human being. My sister also has an obsession with stuffies. She has such an addiction, that she’s banned from them. Now she found the wigs and she’s considering buying one. She’s been looking at them for quite a while now. We’re out of the dollar store, and now we’re going to the computer store. I have no idea why we’re here. I guess we just are. Now we’re going home. Welp, that was a fun adventure. Stay tuned for more fun adventures as you read through this LTE. I should go now. Bye! Hello again. I made a private world on OurWorldOfText for my sister and I, but she doesn't want to join it. She doesn't think it'll be fun. Now I'm just editing it alone. How sad. But oh well. Now I’m here adding more to this text. I once made a Discord server specifically for a language called “Bo”, where the only word is “bo”. I made it almost four months ago, and somehow, it’s still going. People are still spamming nothing but “bo” there. It’s great. I also once made a server where you’re not allowed to use any vowels. It was a very strange server. I deleted it after some time though, so all that insanity is no more. I also used to own a Pig Latin server, but it got inactive so I deleted that too. We had some good memories in that server though. Now there’s a new Pig Latin server, but it’s not owned by me. Dang, my YouTube channel has been dead for so long. I haven’t posted a video in a year. I want to revive it, but I don’t know what to post there. I’ll figure it out. I doubt my channel will ever go back to it’s 2016 legacy, but I’m sure I’ll post something eventually. Random fact of the day: there are thirty-nine question marks so far in this text. Am I about to make it forty? Yes, I just did. Now the fact I initially stated is no longer true. Or is it? Because I said “so far” in the fact, that implies that we’re talking about the moment that fact was said, disregarding any future events. Now I’m pretty sure that fact is still technically true. Welp, I guess I should just accept that I’m editing that world of text alone for the rest of my life. I originally put a bunch of complaining in there, but I deleted it all. The thing is, now that world will never be same without all of that complaining about my sister not being here. But that’s fine. Hey, I just had a cool realization. Basically, there’s this conlang (constructed language, for those not in the know) server where we have a Sentence of the Week activity. In this activity, someone posts a text with a maximum of nine sentences, then people translate it into their own conlangs. My realization is this: if we take nine sentences from this LTE every week, there would be a whole year of sentences for people to translate. There are approximantly 523 sentences in this LTE. Divide that by 9 sentences each week, and you get 58 weeks worth of sentences, which is approximantly the number of weeks in a year. Quick maths. I actually suck at math, but that’s besides the point. I should go now. Goodbye! Hello, I’m back again. I really need to come up with different hello and goodbye messages, because I’ve already said “Hello, I’m back again” once before. Same with the “I should go now. Goodbye!” I said at the end of the previous section. I was going to explain what a “section” is, but I’m terrible at explaining things, so I’m not going to anymore. I guess you’ll just have to figure it out yourself. It’s probably not very hard to figure out, anyways. I guess I can just say that a section starts with me saying hello, and ends with me saying goodbye. That should be enough explaination, now that I think about it. Hey, do you ever feel like you never have any idea what you’re talking about? That’s my entire life. I just summarized it all in one sentence. On an unrelated note, I feel like half this LTE is just me talking about the LTE itself. I mean, press CTRL+F on this webpage, then type “LTE”. Look at all the times I use it in this text! Not counting the ‘lte’ in the word ‘multe’, of course. Dang, now the search results will include that, too. Anyways, half of this text is just me talking about how I’m trying to get this text to be the longest. Well, the longest LTE, anyways. I still have a long way to go. I’m only 12.7% of the way there. I mean, minus the four month gap, my estimation is that I’ve only been writing this for not even two weeks. So it makes sense that this LTE isn’t very long yet. Whenever I look at this webpage, it looks long at first glance, but the longer I look at it, the more I realize how short it actually is. It’s something that I can’t explain. For real this time. I just realized that none of this is helping the fact that half this LTE is about the LTE itself. I should bring up a new topic, but I don’t feel comfortable talking about much else. Why? Because, like I said, I never have any idea what I’m talking about. Most of this LTE is just me talking about LTEs or languages. Sometimes furries, but I don’t wanna go back into that territory at this point. But it doesn’t matter, because I’m still gonna write this LTE for as long as possible, even if it means talking about the same things half the time. Also, LEARN VIESA! Haven’t said that in a while, so I might as well bring it back. The documentation for Viesa is on this very website, so go ahead and read it! You might need to know some linguistic knowledge to understand it, though. In fact, you probably won’t understand most of it unless you know some amount about lingusitics, so you have been warned. If Viesa is too much for you, Pig Latin will probably be better for you. If it's so easy that kids can learn it, you can too! It's a language you can learn in probably five minutes, so why not give it a try? You may also enjoy Ubbi Dubbi, where you place 'ub' before every vowel sound. It's also a very easy language to learn, although not quite as popular. The thing is, none of these are even real languages. They're just codes, and very simple codes at that. You could probably crask Pig Latin or Ubbi Dubbi rather easily. Viesa too, actually. But I still enjoy them occasionally, even if Pig Latin and Ubbi Dubbi are inefficient and easy to crack, and Viesa is easy to crack yet unneccesarily difficult. I do make real languages, but I never put in the effort to learn them to fluency. At least I make them at all. Here’s a fun game: I will open up a random page from a book, and tell you the first word I see. English. That’s the word. Stay tuned for more fun games as you read through this LTE. We’re back, and we’re gonna play the same game as before. Ready? Subject. Now we’re gonna do it again. Reading. And again. Itself. Constituent. Grammar. Colloquial. Black. Outline. Add. About four of those words were language related. You’ll never guess why! (Spoiler alert: it’s a conlanging book). I’m running out of ideas now. I’m just gonna generate a random word and try to talk about it. Forbid. That’s the opposite of “allow”, I’m pretty sure. I don’t really know what else to say. Well, I guess I failed at generating a topic I could talk about. You know what's weird? My favorite word hasn't been used once in this entire text. I'm about to change that forever. Epic. Yup, my favorite word is "epic". I use it on a regular basis. I say "That's epic" all the time. It's a word I can't live without. Hey, I've now written more of this text after the 4 month gap than before it! Just thought I'd share that fact. Also, I'm gonna try and write as much as possible in this LTE today. I've already written more today than the day I first said I was gonna write as much as possible, so that's a good sign. The thing is, I don't know what to write about. I need to write about something, otherwise I won't write at all and I won't accomplish my goal. Wait, what goal should I set? How many characters should I write today? I'm gonna try and get 10,000 characters. I've already written almost 5,000 today, so from here I just have to write the equivellant of everything I've already written today. I'm just gonna try it and see if I make it. Maybe sometime in the future I'll do a bigger goal, like 15,000 or even 20,000 in one day. Actually, I don't know if 20,000 would even be possible for me. It might be, but it sounds like somewhat of a stretch for me to write that much in a single day. We'll see how long 10,000 takes, though. I'm already doing a bad job at this. I haven't typed anything here in several minutes. I need a topic. Um, Vabungula, I guess? Basically, it's a conlang created by Bill Price in 1965. It amazes me how one can work on a single conlang for that long. Most of the conlangs I start making die after 15 minutes. Anyways, I really like it because... um, I don't know, actually. There's not really anything about it that's super interesting (other than how long it's existed), it's just his personal conlang. Maybe it's the amount of development that went into it. It has over 5,000 dictionary entries and several texts written in the language. I'm sure most people reading this don't care about my language related talk, but I gotta make this long. I'm desperate to reach my 10,000 character goal. I've got 4,000 to go. I just found a website that generates random art from a seed. I just put this entire text as the seed, and it generated something quite nice. I would put the picture here, but I want this LTE to be nothing but text, so I won't do that. I've been playing with this for a while now. Many of the seeds produce boring pictures, but some of them are nice. For example, I just used "e" as the seed and it produced a nice looking picture. "a" looks nice too, arguably nicer. I've been using nothing but the word "nice" to describe these pictures. Maybe it's time to get a bigger vocabulary? "b" looks, um, good? I don't have the right vocabulary for this. I also don't feel like doing every single letter, because the pictures take some time to generate. But if you want to do it for yourself, just go to random-art.org and try it out! By the way, this is another website I found through pointlesssites.com. You know, the same website that lead me to the FlamingChicken LTE, which lead me to begin writing this whole thing. But what made me discover pointlesssites.com? Vsauce mentioned it. But what made me discover Vsauce? YouTube Reccomendations, probably. But what made me discover YouTube? As far as I remember, my dad showed it to me when I was 6. So I would like to thank my dad for being the reason I started writing this. He's the one who showed me YouTube, which reccomended me Vsauce, which mentioned pointlesssites.com, which brought me to the FlamingChicken LTE, which inspired me to start my own LTE. If he had never shown me YouTube, I wouldn't be here writing this text, and you wouldn't be reading it. Well, that's probably not true, because I probably would have discovered YouTube by other means, thus leading me to Vsauce, leading me to Vsauce, leading me to pointlesssites.com, leading me to the FlamingChicken LTE, leading me to... okay, I really need to stop now. I've gone too far. But you know what I haven't gone too far with? This LTE. I don't think I even can go too far with writing this text. Unless this text gets so long that it surpasses the 1GB storage limit of Neocities. In which case, I'll need to upgrade to Supporter in order to get a 50GB storage limit. But what if the text gets so long that is surpasses that? I don't think I'll ever make it there. I mean, 50GB is about 50 trillion characters. So I think we're good. I still need to get to 10,000 by the end of today. I've got 1,500 to go. Currently watching a livestream. It's reminding me of when I used to livestream back in 2016. I still kinda miss those days. But at the same time, I was quite awkward and had zero social skills, so I'm not sure if I'd want to go back. At this point, everything I've written today is longer than what can fit on the screen at once. At least on my computer screen. It probably changes with different screen resolutions and devices. But anyways, it's pretty unusual for that much of the LTE to be written in a single day. I don't want to pressure myself into writing this much every day, though. Last time I forced myself to complete a certain amount of something every day, it was overwhelming and I ended up losing motivation, thus letting down all my fans who were anticipating the August 30th, 2016 release date. Okay, the amount of eager fans was probably a number you could count on one hand, but still. By the way, if you're wondering what this "something" was, it was GoAnimated Garbage: The Movie, which was supposed to be an hour long episode of a series I made to make fun of random GoAnimate videos. In case you're not the type of person who knows what GoAnimate is... hoo boy. Basically, it's a drag-and-drop animation website infamous for the "grounded videos" that people made with it, among other types of videos. It's this whole community that I neither can explain nor want to explain. But I had somewhat of an association with that community back in the day. On my YouTube channel, I used to make a genre of GoAnimate video known as the "OS video". Typically an OS video is where some sort of hated character within the GoAnimate community forcefully installs their operating system onto a user's computer, and the user has to deal with this OS until they eventually find a way to "destroy" it. I made five of these videos. In chronological order: Caillou OS, Boots OS, Franklin OS, Little Bill OS, and Crap OS X. Caillou OS is the most viewed video on my main channel, which is unsurprising since Caillou is pretty much THE character associated with the GoAnimate community. When I made that video, it was a big transition for my channel. The channel's name was changed from Infinite Budgets, which had been my name since 2013 when I made crappy Roblox videos, to Allisima. All of my old videos were deleted, with the exception of my "Barney Errors", which was yet another genre of GoAnimate video. Basically, a Barney error is when a user's computer/console/whatever session is interrupted by a "Barney Error", a message informing the user that Barney has been killed, and the device must not be turned off because it's an "important message". There's also a bomb that's placed in Barney's "lair", the timer for which is displayed in the error. The user gets some amount of "chances", and every time the device is turned off, the user looses a chance and the time until the bomb explodes decreases. Eventually, the user turns off the computer enough times that there are no more chances left, the bomb explodes, and some sort of punishment happens. These punishments can range from having to downgrade your operating system, to having your computer destroyed, and in extreme cases, even to death. I once made a whole channel for Barney Errors, where I made about twenty of them before quitting. After that, I eventually quit GoAnimate all together, but I still made Crap OS X, an OS video made with Powerpoint. I also made an interactive OS parody called Windows Poop Editon, again with Powerpoint. Before that, I also made one called "Atch OS" using my old Windows XP netbook. I just checked to see if my old Weebly website still exists, since there's an Atch OS download on there and I wanted to see if it dissapeared from existence or not. Appearantly it does! I'm getting so much nostalgia from this website. It's like a window into 2016, when I had fun making these videos on a regular basis. I'm way past my 10,000 character goal now. I'm kinda glad I set this goal, but again, I'm not gonna force myself to do it everyday. I think I'm gonna stop writing for today. Bye! Hey, I'm back. Yes, that hello wasn't original either, since I already said it once. Specifically, after my sister seized the LTE and started spamming. You remember that, right? I hope you read through this whole thing instead of just picking a random part (which just happened to be this part) and reading only a tiny bit. Nah, I'm just kidding. Read this text however you want to, it doesn't matter if you read this entire text from start to finish or not. I mean, I did put some cringy stuff in here, as I keep mentioning. But it's on the Internet, and since recently, on my homepage, so I know people are gonna read it. Really the only reason I'm making this is because I have a weird obsession for writing giant walls of text. Guess what? I just added translations of this LTE into various conlangs on my website! But they're all very incomplete, and I probably won't finish them ever... I mean, if I'm gonna finish any of them, 'twill probably be the Viesa translation since it's the easiest to do. Hey, 'twill's back! I remember the very beginnings of this LTE, when I first mentioned 'twill. That was 40,000 characters ago. Appearantly I'm measuring time with characters now. Hey, what's the average amount of text I write per day in this LTE? The four month gap probably significantly drops that amount. Let's see! The trouble is finding out when I started writing this LTE, because I don't know the exact date. I'm just gonna estimate that it was March 12, based on the amount of times I said goodnight before I said "Happy Pi Day". It's not a very accurate measurement, though, because sometimes I stop writing for the day without saying goodnight. But anyways, from March 12 to today, July 16, is 127 days. As of that previous sentence, there are 42,549 characters in this LTE. 42,549 characters divided by 127 days equals about 335 characters per day. That's not very much at all. To get an idea of how short that is, the first 335 characters of this LTE consist of about 64 words and 8 sentences. As I predicted, the four months of no activity had a big impact on this number. But what if we ignore the 4 month gap, which was from March 15 to July 9, I've only been working on this LTE for ten days. 42,549 characters divided by 10 days is about 4254 characters. That's much better. It might be that big because of the 12,600 characters I wrote yesterday. I said I wouldn't do it every day, but honestly, I'm feeling like doing a goal again today. I think I might even go a bit higher than yesterday. Let's do 15,000 characters! I have zero life outside of this LTE, anyways, so I think I'll make it. As long as I keep typing about random stuff for the entire day, I'll probably get past 15,000 easily. I think I'm insane. Literally all I do anymore is write this LTE. My mom is almost certainly concered for me, because I was in my room pretty much all of yesterday and my sister told her about how I'm trying to write the longest text ever. But enough about my descent into insanity for now. Let's get this LTE to over 55,000 characters today! This is probably the most meta LTE in existence. Like I've said, I talk about the LTE itself as much, if not more than anything else. By the way, if I were to write as much as I did yesterday every day, I would reach my goal in just 15 days. Now I'm tempted to do that, even though I said I wouldn't set a goal like that every day. I think I might end up doing it subconciously. I kinda wanna convince some other people I know online to start their own LTE. Wouldn't it be fun if we all had our own LTEs? They would probably all die within a day, but at least I wouldn't be the only one writing an LTE in 2019... The most recently updated LTE I've seen is the RainbowFluffySheep LTE, which I believe was last updated in late 2018. That wasn't really that long ago, but still, I don't think it's being updated anymore. Now let's do an LTE Timeline! The original FlamingChickens LTE was probably started sometime in 2004, and Hermnerps was started the same year. The FlamingChickens LTE stopped in 2005, while the Hermnerps LTE actually lived on until 2009, although edits after the end of 2004 were rather sparce. The Kenneth Iman LTE was started in 2013 and was last updated in 2015. The RainbowFluffySheep LTE both started and was last updated in March 2018. And of course, the WhileTrue LTE was started in March 2019 and is still being updated today. Wow, 15 years of LTEs! I think my LTE is the only one still being updated. It would be nice if someone else was writing their own LTE along with me. But 'twill be hard to convince other people to waste their lives writing a useless wall of text. You never know, maybe an LTE that stopped being edited years ago will come back from the dead. That seems kind of unlikely though. Very strange fact incoming. A certain word has not been used since the very beginning of this text. Ready to learn what it is? I shouldn't tell you, actually. Of course, that would ruin it. Unless you want me to ruin a really cool fact. Surely you wouldn't want that to happen. Okay, I'll just tell you, because I'm probably gonna end up using it again someday or another. The word is "various". If you search for "various" in this LTE, you'll only find it at the very beginning as well as here. And I was gonna keep this a secret, but just now I did this thing where if you take the first letter of each sentence, it spells out "VARIOUS". Kinda clever... I guess? Anyways, for those who are insane enough to be reading this entire thing from the start Wow, you have quite the dedication. My LTE isn't even the longest yet, but perhaps in the future, when it is the longest, people will be challenging themselves to read the entire thing. And maybe you're one of them! Perhaps you're reading this long after I've passed my goal, in which case you still have quite a bit to go. So I wish you luck on your Longest Text Ever reading adventure! I've been talking about LTEs all day. For the past 6,000 characters, in fact. I need to find something different to talk about. But first, I just had an idea pertaining LTEs. I should compare this LTE to the longest joke in the world! The longest joke in the world is 56,554 characters long, which is about how long I'm trying to get this LTE by the end of today. So if I reach my goal today, this text will be longer than the longest joke in the world! That's pretty cool. I would also be a quarter of the way to my goal. But let's get back to finding something different to talk about. I can't think of anything. My sister is singing a song about wanting Subway. I will never understand her. What goes through her brain that makes her decide "Yeah, I think it would be a good idea to sing about how I really want Subway"? I don't get how her brain works. She also likes eating paper. I asked her and appearantly she was perfectly okay with me writing that in here. She probably thinks nobody's ever gonna read this. But she's gonna be wrong! Eventually. Now she's asking me to write about how she likes yogurt. "Because I didn't used to", she says. She's eating mango yogurt, and she has water in a Gatorade bottle. Now I'm asking her what else I should put in this text. She says I should write about how there's wild sage where we live. Now she's having hot chocolate. She didn't ask me to write that, but I told her I was going to write it and she said okay. My sister might start her own Longest Text Ever, again. She says it will have only one word repeated throughout the entire text. But I told her that it defeats the purpose of an LTE. In the original FlamingChickens LTE, one of the very first things that is written is "I will just type, and type, and never, ever use copy and paste". Okay, I just made a webpage for her LTE (it's gonna be an actual LTE this time). Stay tuned for "The Best Longest Text Ever", as she calls it. I think it should have just been called "KKs Longest Text Ever" or something, but whatever. She types really slow, but I hope her LTE will be successful nonetheless. Warning: if you do go and read her LTE, she spoils Spiderman: Far From Home at the very beginning, so be careful about that. In fact, she's basically typing the entire plot of the movie. Well, that's one way to increase your LTE's length, I guess. My sister is listening to her terrible songs instead of writing her LTE. Well, she has her LTE page open, but she's not writing anything and is singing instead. Actually, she's writing stuff now, so ignore everything I said previously. She's still writing the entire plot. Her LTE is now 2,000 characters, which isn't very long, but she's only been working on it for an hour. Plus she's a slow typer. She types everything with one hand. It might take a while for her LTE to get to this level. But assuming she keeps writing it and doesn't forget about it after today, it'll get pretty long eventually. I still need to write 7,000 characters today. My sister is watching a cringy video made by our old elementary school. They became a French immersion school after I left. She found one of the videos I was in... oh god, I can't stand to look at that video. It hurts me to think about those days. My sister's LTE webpage has text now! Maybe I should create a page linking to all the LTEs I know about. I think I'll do that. Boom, it is done. I think I'm gonna also put a link to it on this page. There, that's done as well. Guys, I'm not sure if I'm gonna make it to 15,000. I still have 5,000 characters to go (I was completely off earlier, I don't have 7,000 left to go), and there's not much left of the day. In retrospect, it was probably a bad idea to make a goal for the day in the first place. After all, LTE writing is supposed to be fun! Sort of. There's zero need to make unneccesary deadlines. I think it just reduces the fun, as well as the part of my life that isn't just writing huge walls of text. From here on out, I declare character-per-day goals abolished. I will no longer make attempts to write a certain amount in a single day. I should have listened to my past self, who said not to do goals every day. But I didn't, and now I regret it. But anyways, here's a fun fact about this LTE: excluding my upcoming usage, the pronoun "he" is only used twice in this LTE, and they both refer to my dad. On the other hand, the pronoun "she" is used forty times! Almost all of these refer to my sister. Only one refers to my mom. I guess I just really like talking about the weird stuff my sister does. But not as much as being meta and talking about my own LTE. Here's another fun fact: "LTE" is the fourteenth most common word in this text! That's insane. It's more common than words you'd expect to be common, like "you", "I'm", "for", "be", "about", "was", and so on. I really need to talk about other things once in a while. But since I have zero creativity, I always resort to talking about the same topics. From what I've seen, most other LTEs are pretty diverse, but mine isn't at all. Honestly, this is likely the most boring LTE to read. But my absolute lack of creativity means it's probably gonna stay that way for a long time. I'm tired, so I'm gonna go to sleep. Maybe I'll be more creative by tomorrow. Probably not. Anyways, goodnight. Hey, I'm back, and I don't feel any more creative. But I did have a dream last night, so I'm gonna talk about that. Last night, I dreamt that I was in one of our old houses, and I saw that someone made a video roasting Viesa. They talked about how you shouldn't say "dog" in Viesa, because appearantly "deeg" is bad or something? I don't know. Then they said the rule where W becomes V is weird, but I don't remember the reason they said it. I didn't really care about how they roasted my language. Then I watched a Minecraft video for whatever reason, and then the dream ended. How do other LTE writers have so many topics to talk about? All I ever talk about is either LTEs themselves, or the fact that all I ever talk about is LTEs. There's no diversity. I very rarely talk about anything else. And when I do, it's usually about languages and lasts only a few sentences. There, I deleted it. Oh, you don't have any context. Basically I wrote a bunch of depressing stuff, then I decided to delete it all. I knew I was going to regret it later, in the same way I regret writing all that stuff about furries. Not that I think there's anything wrong with being a furry, it's just that it personally makes me uncomfortable looking back on it. I'm not even into that stuff as much anymore. I don't watch furry YouTube, and I don't talk about how much I want a fursuit/go to a convention. That's a part of me that's slowly disappearing. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking about that, because I literally just said how I regret talking about it in this text. You know, I've been feeling kind of down about this LTE lately, because as I just mentioned, all I ever talk about is this LTE itself, there's no diversity, blah blah blah. It's especially been like that ever since the four month gap. In fact, I barely talked about LTEs before that gap. It's like I lost all my creativity after four months. You know what? I'm officially gonna say this: If, for some reason, you are reading this before you decide you want to start reading this entire text, READ EVERYTHING FROM "WOW, IT HAS BEEN A WHILE" TO HERE AT YOUR OWN RISK, BECAUSE YOU WILL LIKELY DIE OF BOREDOM DUE TO THE MONOTONOUS TOPICS! There, now I'm gonna try and forget that half this LTE is the same exact boring topic. I will also try to avoid writing about the same exact boring topic for the rest of this text. Let's celebrate the End of Monotonous Topics (EMT) by talking about how we (my sister and I) had lunch and did various other things with our grandpa! So grandpa asked if we wanted to have lunch and spend an afternoon with him, and we said yes. Then he picked us up, and we went to a nearby town where we had lunch, went to a museum which was a house built in 1909 as well as the town's first hospital, and got ice cream from what is appearently one of the best ice cream places in the country, according to grandpa. So today was a fun day. I'm gonna go now. Bye! Hey, I'm back. That's the fifth time I've said that. I need to come up with more original... nah, whatever. Anyways, I had a dream last night which was basically a whole movie I don't remember most of. All I remember is playing a keyboard at the store for some reason, and that the dream ended with a random car horn. Oh, and there was Minecraft involved in the beginning, which I'm pretty sure is becoming a recurring theme in my dreams. I don't know why that happened, because I rarely play Minecraft anymore. Do any of y'all remember the DVD screensaver meme? That was one of my favorite memes. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, many DVD players had this screensaver where it was a DVD logo bouncing around the screen. The big moment that everyone anticipates is when the logo hits the corner of the screen perfectly, because, well, it's just so SATISFYING! I used to watch a livestream that was literally just this screensaver running endlessly. And when it hit the corner, it was a huge celebration for both me and everyone else watching. I got so excited when the logo hit the corner. My computer's screensaver is even still a DVD screensaver. But nowadays when I see it hit the corner, I don't have as much enthusiasm as I used to. I've just seen it too many times for it to be exciting anymore. Plus, the meme isn't even a thing anymore. I doubt that livestream is even still running. But you never know, so I'm gonna check to see if it's still going. Oh wow, it is! That was the last thing I expected to see in July 2019. But only four people are watching it, which makes sense. The title now says "DVD Logo Screensaver For 1 Year", even though it hasn't quite been going on for a year. But when it hits that point, perhaps that's when it will finally end? It should have ended months ago, if you ask me. Yup, I was right. There's a countdown on the livestream to when it ends, and it says 181 days, 9 hours, 12 minutes, and 3 seconds. Wow, the corner hit and wall hit numbers are much bigger now. The most corner hits I'd seen is around 1400 or so, but now it's at 4776! The wall hits used to be in the hundred-thousands, now it's at over two and a half million! Hello, I have returned. There, I came up with something original to say! Anyways, I just combined every single LTE I know of (including this one) and put it onto one single page on a Wikia wiki called "No Rules Wiki". That wiki exactly as you would expect from the title. I found it a while ago, and I thought it was about time I made a contribution, even if pasting over half a million characters into a single article is breaking some rule... I've been wanting to make Viesa an actual conlang for so long now. I think it's long overdue at this point. Hey, I'm back again. These sections are getting shorter and shorter each day. But oh well. I just discovered how much I like the word "number". I don't know why, but it's just so fun to say! I think I've liked that word ever since I was a toddler learning my numbers! I remember thinking it was a fun word even back then. At that time I had two little electronic toys: one was orange and for numbers, and one was purple and for letters. I'm pretty sure those were the colors. I also vaguely remember having a fan that lit up and displayed custom messages. I haven't seen anything like that since then. All I hear right now is Baby Shark being blasted upstairs. You know that song, right? I don't know who doesn't know it at this point. I can't think of a single person I've seen that doesn't know what that song is. Dang, ever since the EMT I haven't been writing as much in this text. Looks like LTEs were all I could talk about. Oh well. How many times have I said "oh well"? Probably a lot. About eight times, in fact. I'm back again. I went a full day without writing anything into this LTE yesterday! There were a lot of things happening that day, so I didn't feel like writing. I could've written at least a little bit, but I didn't. Time for me to use this LTE as my dream journal yet again! I had a dream where my domain was "exin" (or something like that) instead of "whiletrue", so that was a thing. I also had a dream where there was this game that I thought existed in the real world, but it didn't. Dreams do that sometimes. I don't remember much about the game, but it involved the Simpsons, I guess? Also, I was in a weird store where they had an... iCarly laptop? And a bunch of gift cards. That's all I remember. For now, at least. My sister does not like synthwave. She says "it's repetitive", "the sounds they use don't sound like music", and she doesn't like how it doesn't have lyrics. First of all, she's hypocritical because she always listens to the same songs on repeat. And why does it matter that it doesn't have words? Why does she think every single piece of music in existence has to have words? YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR OPINIONS THERE! (That was a reference to a cringy GoAnimator that no one reading this will get, unless you came to this website from my YouTube channel which you subscribed to during my OS video days). Anyways, synthwave is objectively the best genre of music. I remember hearing HOME - Resonance for the first time in a Discord voice chat, and it was magical. I wish I could listen to that song for the first time again. That was how I got into synthwave. You know what my favorite color combination is? Yellow text on a magenta background. Oh, and don't forget the Comic Sans. That is just pure beauty right there. In fact, it's used in the first frame (well, close enough) of "history of the entire world, i guess", which makes me love that video even more. We're at 60,000 characters, 1,000 sentences, and 12,000 words! Weird how all those counts hit such round numbers in one day, huh? I need to stick to the EMT, so I should stop talking about that. My sister is attempting to build a Lego city. Her goal is to have three buildings, since she doesn't have THAT much Lego. Have you noticed how quickly I've been switching topics in this text? That's because I can't talk about anything for a long time. That is, unless that thing is languages or LTEs. I am currently trying to revive a language my sister and I started making a while back. Sometimes my sister has days when she doesn't hate languages for some reason, then she ends up starting one. But of course, she regained her hate and abandoned it. Now I'm the only one working on the language. By the way, the language is called Lazay, which was the successor to Zula, the first language we made together which is now deleted. We started writing the language on paper, but then I started a Google Doc. I'm sure the papers are still here somewhere. I'm just too lazy to find them. I’m back again. I haven’t been ending these sections with goodbyes recently. But whatever. We’re on our way to IKEA to get a dresser for my room. We’re listening to Queens of the Stone Age right now, and I’m just waiting for “Fortress” to come on. I sing that song in Viesa, but I make up half of the lyrics. It goes: Ванавар јак фиртрас кува, ма башег ђара, ја сок. Try and translate that! The song is playing now. I like this song. We’re back from IKEA now. Actually, we’ve been home for hours now, and we’ve already built the dresser. My computer crashed (but don’t worry, I started writing this in Google Docs on my phone), and now Google Chrome won’t open. So I have to use Microsoft Edge for now. I’m gonna sleep now. Goodnight! Hello, I'm back. My sister is brushing my back with a hairbrush, and I don't know why. I asked her what I should write about (because I have zero creativity), and she said I should write about that. I'm gonna type whatever comes to my head now. Hi, I'm a boring human being who has zero creativity whatsoever and still happens to be writing an LTE. Isn't that insane? How could this be? Nobody knows, and nobody will ever know. It is a strange mystery that has yet to be solved. Hmm, I wonder if I should go and eat pancakes now? I'm so random right now. In fact, there's an entire subreddit for that: r/iamsorandom. You should check it out! I mean, you don't really have to, but it would be nice if you did. I use Reddit a lot, but I only use it for language-related stuff. Well, I make posts in language-related subreddits, but the non-language subs that I look at are ones that I don't post anything to, because I know nothing about literally anything that isn't languages. And heck, I don't even know much about languages! I only make English codes and call them "conlangs". Sort of. I usually don't actually call them conlangs, but I use them for such purposes. I speak Viesa as if it were a real language, but it simply is not. Why did I make Viesa in the first place? Well, you see, it all started out as a joke for April Fools' Day. I called it "the new universal language", despite it literally being a cipher of English. What!? A cipher of English being a universal language? How silly! What a funny joke, right? Maybe? Somewhat? Anyways, I then made a SECOND VERSION! DUN DUN DUN! This second version had CLICKY SOUNDS which, spoiler alert, dissapear in the next version of Viesa. Sad, right? RIP CLICKS 2018-2018 NEVER FORGET! I also added WACKY GRAMMAR STUFF and PRONOUNS! WOAH! How crazy! Then I made the next version: VERSION 3.0! This version added CYRILLIC! (you know, that alphabet the Russians use, as well as the Serbs, whose version of the Cyrillic alphabet I stole for Viesa. Hehehe!) And that's the entire history of Viesa, explained in a Zany way! Do you like how I capitalized "Zany" there? Aren't capital letters so cool? They let you YELL AND SCREAM AT THE TOP OF YOUR LUNGS! They add EXCITEMENT! And most of all, they let you capitalize words like This. lowercase letters are also cool. without them, we'd all be yelling and screaming all the time. That would be pretty tiring, wouldn't it? I see two water bottles. One is empty, while the other still has some water in it. The empty one is blue, and the one with the water is pink. I should also mention that the blue one is mine, while the pink one is my sister's. I got that water bottle because I lost my other one at school. But GUESS WHAT? I FOUND IT IN THE LOST AND FOUND! Wow! Now I had two water bottles. How Wacky and Crazy and Zany and Bizzare and all those adjectives that perfectly describe this epic moment! Wow, writing your mind is a great way to increase your LTEs length! Before I was actually THINKING about what I was writing. But now I barely do, and it's greatly improving my LTE! Except the overuse of capital letters might throw the reader off guard a little because of how sparingly I've used them in the past, but oh well. I could fix it, but I don't feel like it. I want to continue writing, but I need to sleep now. Goodnight! Hi, I'm back again. My computer crashed AGAIN, and I was ignorant enough to not save my work, so that means I have to start this part of the text all over again. That's quite unfortunate. But did I mention that my Google Chrome is working again? That's the good news. It's good news because Google Chrome has all my logins, websites, and stuff like that. Hopefully you know what I mean when I say that. Maybe you do, maybe you don't. I don't even know what I mean right now! I'm probably insane right now. Especially since I'm writing this right now, as I have been for about 18 days minus the four month gap... I think. I hope I did that right. As I've said before, I'm bad at math. My sister just read the entirety of what I've written today for some reason. My sister just sang "I want your computer to crash again because I'm evil". She IS evil if she wants my computer to crash. At least I'll have this section saved. In fact, right now I'm pressing Ctrl+S after every sentence! Including this one. And this one. Also this one. I think you get the point now. My sister keeps typing into this LTE without my consent, and I keep having to delete it all. It's pretty annoying. Hey, flashback to when I said that way at the beginning of this text! You know, the part where I talk about the Teen Titans Go episode called "Waffles" where the word "Waffles" is said a hundred-something times. You know what else is said a hundred something times (in this LTE)? The letter J. So far it's been used 115 times in this LTE. That's your Interesting LTE Fact of the Day! Well, not really "daily", but whatever. Here's a story: Once upon a time, people got tired of starting off their stories with "Once upon a time", so they stopped doing that. But one person decided not to stop using "Once upon a time", and used it at the beginning of this story. And that person is ME! The end. Wasn't that a lovely story? You're probably not thinking that. Again, I'm not creative in any way whatsoever. That's why I don't usually write stories and instead write giant walls of text full of meaningless information, like the one and only WhileTrue's Longest Text Ever that you're reading right now. Hopefully nobody died of boredom from reading between "Wow, it has been a while" and the EMT. That's the most boring part of the LTE! 90% of it is just me talking about LTEs themselves. How uninteresting is that? Very uninteresting. Penguins. What are they? I don't know. What am I even writing right now? I haven't a clue. Isn't it weird that I said "haven't a clue" like that? Normally "haven't" isn't used if it's alone as a verb, as in "I haven't my keys". Who says that? Nobody, that's who. And yet "I haven't a clue" is an actual thing I've heard people say. Anyways, AFRICA! That was random, but let's discuss it anyway. Africa is a well-known song by Toto. It's a good song. I can kinda sorta play it on piano? Maybe? I don't know. Another song I can play on the piano is All Star by Smash Mouth. You know, the Shrek song? Anyways, I once made a video called "All Star but it's played on a Sesame Street piano" and it got almost a million views. It's been stuck at 900,000 for what seems like forever now. I'm gonna check to see if it's at a million now. I doubt it, though. Nope, still at 926,000 views. And I doubt it's gonna get any more, to be honest. It had a good run though. My sister is chugging applesauce. She thinks she's epic because of it. I don't know anymore. I seem to keep saying that after everything I type at this point. It's strange. Hello, I have returned after yet another long absence. When was the last time I added to this? I think it was somewhere in July. So yeah, it’s been three months, as it is now October 17, 2019. The end of the decade is approaching fast. I’m a bit excited, because I’ll have significant memories from more than just one decade! My earliest significant memories started in Kindergarden, which was in 2010. This means that I only really remember one decade. But now that an entirely new decade is coming up, I’ll be able to remember another! Part of me feels like I shouldn’t be excited over this, since the boundaries between years is arbitrary, and a decade is 10 years only because we count in base 10, so if we counted in base 12 or something, a decade would be 12 years long. That was kind of a run-on sentence, but I don’t really feel like making this text perfect, anyway. Have you heard of the Library of Babel? libraryofbabel.info is a website containing every possible combination of the lowercase letters a-z, space, comma, and period. The library is divided into hexagonal chambers. Each hex contains four walls. Each wall contains three shelves. Each shelf contains 32 volumes. Each volume contains 410 pages of 3200 characters each. Everything you could ever say or write is on this website. Even this LTE! See for yourself: https://libraryofbabel.info/bookmark.cgi?lte. Okay, that’s only the first bit of it, but every other bit of this LTE is somewhere in the library! In fact, here’s the next bit: https://libraryofbabel.info/bookmark.cgi?lte:1. It’s split up into about 20 different pages. I don’t feel like putting links to all of them here. It also removes punctuation that the library doesn’t use, like the exclamation point, question mark, colon, and so on. But it’s pretty mind-blowing stuff, if you ask me. If you try and browse the library yourself though, you probably won’t find much more than total gibberish. It’s crazy to think that everything we could ever possibly say or write is massively outweighed by meaningless strings of letters and punctuation.

#Lol i tried also im not a furry ignore the furry part #nor am i young

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writeontimey · 3 years

Text

WoT - An ocean freeze pots a mind at ease. // Ep 1

Today we have, Beach Bashing, Plant Problems and Today's Poem.

BEACH BASHING

The episode begins by showing a beach. Out of nowhere, Philip, Chris and Joseph appear running along the boardwalk, each one is carrying their own ice cream cart.

PHILIP Ok, Joseph and Chris! Let's sell ice cream!

JOSEPH (sarcastically) Really, Philip? Well, I guess selling computers with ice cream carts would be pretty weird huh?

Philip and Chris look at Joseph, both annoyed.

PHILIP Hey, ignorant, I'm explaining it to the reader.

JOSEPH Oh, already recording? Oops, well, I don't think that was very "ice" of me right now.

Joseph runs to a drum set, plays "ba dum tss" and quickly returns.

JOSEPH Heh, heh!

CHRIS So, will you be making ice puns the whole episode?

JOSEPH Yep, why? Will you give me the "cold shoulder" if I don't stop?

Joseph runs to a drum set, plays "ba dum tss" and quickly returns.

JOSEPH HA!

Chris hands Joseph a giant ice sculpture of a shoulder.

JOSEPH (struggling to hold the ice) AAAAHHH!

He can't hold it and is crushed by the ice.

CHRIS Yep.

JOSEPH (crushed and bruised) Not "cool", dude.

PHILIP Continuing, whoever comes back here with more money wins! See you here at the same place at 5PM!

JOSEPH (already recovered) AND CHRIS Beauty!

PHILIP LET'S GO!

Philip, Chris and Joseph all run to different directions from the beach. The scene focuses on Philip, who is pushing his cart, he walks until he arrives at a man under a parasol. Philip stands in front of the man.

PHILIP Want an ice cream?

PARASOL MAN Why would I want ice cream?

PHILIP To eat it, DUH!

PARASOL MAN Yeah, makes sense, but no, I don't want any.

PHILIP What if there is a reward for buying one?

PARASOL MAN Hmmm, okay, then I'll buy it, is there a reward?

PHILIP No, crap, you're good at business!

PARASOL MAN Yes, I'm a businessman.

PHILIP You know what, I like you, yes I have a horrible taste. What if I make a discount, will you buy one?

PARASOL MAN Maybe.

PHILIP It's 1 dollar, but if you give me 99 cents and I'll accept it!

PARASOL MAN Of course not! Do you think I'm stupid?

PHILIP If I answer it, you won't want to buy it anymore.

PARASOL MAN Make a real discount already!

PHILIP Real? Isn't that brazilian currency? Hey, I only accept dollars here!

PARASOL MAN If you're not gonna make a discount you can leave.

PHILIP Okay, okay. 50 cents for the ice cream and 50 cents for the pot and you'll get the spoon for free!

PARASOL MAN Deal!

The man gives Philip two 50-cent coins, and Philip gives him a strawberry ice cream, Philip then runs off in search of his next client. After that the scene changes for Joseph, talking to a surfer.

JOSEPH Trust me, these ice creams are magical, they make you smarter if you eat them.

SURFER Really? How much is one?

JOSEPH 10 dollars.

SURFER 10 DOLLARS? What a rip-off.

JOSEPH It's inflation.

The surfer gives 10 dollars to Joseph, and the dollars start to float.

JOSEPH See, inflation!

SURFER Yeah, right.

Joseph grabs the floating money and gives the surfer a mint ice cream. The surfer eats some of the ice cream while he looks at the horizon, when looking, he sees Philip, selling ice cream to someone else. Philip's cart has a sign saying "Ice cream, 1 dollar."

SURFER Hey! That guy over there is selling the same ice cream for 1 dollar! I COULD BUY 10 POTS OF ICE CREAM WITH IT!

JOSEPH See? You're already getting smarter!

SURFER Grr, give me my money back!

JOSEPH No refunds!

SURFER Yes refunds!

The surfer takes Joseph's 10 dollars forcefully, and gives him 1 dollar.

SURFER THIS is the correct price.

The surfer leaves eating his ice cream.

JOSEPH (watching the surfer leave, teasing) No, "this" is a pronoun and a determiner!

Philip then arrives pushing his ice cream cart and stays close to Joseph.

PHILIP Well, well, well, trying to make money by lying to the people, how wrong!

JOSEPH It works in politics.

PHILIP Yeah, but only when the person CAN lie, like me!

JOSEPH I lie better.

Joseph grabs a bed and places it on the floor, he then jumps on it and lies down on the bed.

JOSEPH (lying in bed) "Sea"?

Joseph gets a mini drum set, puts it on the bed and plays a "ba dum tss", he then throws the mini drum kit away.

JOSEPH And also, I sell better than you.

PHILIP Is this part of the lie? 'Cuz I sell better.

JOSEPH SO IT'S A CHALLENGE?

PHILIP Challenge within challenge? Deal!

JOSEPH DEAL!

PHILIP DEAL!

JOSEPH DEAL!!

PHILIP DEAL!!

Out of nowhere, a random kid approaches Joseph's cart.

KID Can you give me a...

JOSEPH (looking at the kid) SHUT UP I'M BUSY! (he starts to look at Philip) DEAL! (he realizes what he did and looks at the kid again)

KID Oh, you're busy? Oops.

PHILIP (waving to the kid) Hey, I'm not busy!

KID (giving money to Philip) Cool! I want an ice cream!

JOSEPH N-n-no! I'm not busy! I'm open! I'M OPEN!

PHILIP (giving the kid a pot of ice cream) Hi Open, I'm Selling More Than You.

The kid then leaves with their ice cream. Philip gives Joseph a teasing smile, and Joseph looks at him angrily.

JOSEPH Fine! Now I'm mad.

PHILIP Really, I thought you were Open.

JOSEPH Let the games begin!

The two run each other in the opposite direction.

After that the scene changes to Chris, who arrives next to a man with an angry expression sitting in a chair under his parasol, a waitress approaches him and gives him a beer.

WAITRESS Here sir.

ANGRY MAN ABOUT TIME! WHY DID IT TAKE SO LONG?

WAITRESS What? I went there and came back in less than a minute.

ANGRY MAN ALL OF THAT FOR A MISERABLE BEER, YOU SHOULD HAVE COMMITMENT, AND YOU SHOULDN'T TAKE EVEN A SECOND TO GET A SIMPLE BEER, I BET YOU STOPPED TO TALK TO SOME STUPID FRIEND OF YOURS! AND YOU STILL HAVE THE AUDACITY TO ANSWER THE CUSTOMER LIKE THAT! WHAT KIND OF IRRESPONSIBLE IDIOT ARE YOU? GO AWAY!

The waitress gives the man one last angry look and leaves, angry and sad. After that, Chris, who was nearby and heard everything, looks at the camera.

CHRIS (to the camera only) This is gonna be a good challenge, but I'll give him a chance.

Chris then gently touches the man on his shoulder.

CHRIS Hello sir, would you like an ice cream to chill out?

ANGRY MAN NO! AND GO FIND A REAL JOB, WE ALREADY HAVE TOO MANY USELESS ICE CREAM SELLERS AROUND!

CHRIS (sarcastically) You're nice aren't ya?

ANGRY MAN ESPECIALLY WITH IDIOTS WHO TRY TO SELL ME THINGS I DON'T WANT! IF I WANTED IT I WOULD ASK FOR IT, MONEY ISN'T A PROBLEM! NOW GO AWAY OR I'LL MAKE YOU GO AWAY!

CHRIS Cool, how?

ANGRY MAN Ah, so you're another one that likes to answer customers rudely, aren't ya? LIKE THIS!

The man grabs Chris in one hand, her entire cart on one shoulder and throws both of them with all his strength into the water. The scene then shows Chris with her cart sinking.

CHRIS Okay, he lost the chance.

The scene changes to the man, laughing while standing up, looking at Chris and her cart in the water.

ANGRY MAN Hahaha, that's what you get when you mess up with me.

He then sits down in his chair again, drinks his beer and turns around to throw the empty bottle on the floor behind his back, as soon as he turns around Chris appears out of nowhere behind him, with her ice cream cart intact and dry.

ANGRY MAN AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!

The man gets scared and jumps so high that he hits his head on the ceiling of the parasol, after hitting his head he falls, sitting on his chair with a bump forming on his head, after that the empty beer bottle that was in his hand falls on his head and breaks, making the bump even bigger.

CHRIS There's a bump on your head.

ANGRY MAN (confused and hurt) dOEs It lOok LiKE A gOOsE?

CHRIS No, why it would look like a goose?

ANGRY MAN (confused and hurt) 'cUz tHEn it woULd bE a GooSE bUmP hAhaHAhaHaHAh

CHRIS (for the camera) He must be Aries.

Chris then pulls out a giant megaphone.

CHRIS (shouting into megaphone) HELLO, HELLO, HELLO!

The angry man gets scared again, hits his head on the parasol's ceiling again and falls on his chair… again. When he hit his head, his huge bump went back into his head and disappeared.

ANGRY MAN OOOOOWWWW!!! WAIT...? YOU...? BUT I...? HOW...? YOU WERE...?

CHRIS (jumping on the man's lap) Want an ice cream, buddy? Only 1 dolar.

ANGRY MAN (throwing Chris out and standing up to look intimidating) NO!!! YOU SCARED ME TWICE!!! LISTEN HERE BRAT, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?

CHRIS I like to think that I'm JungCook's wife. In fact, you kinda look like him... well... only uglier.

ANGRY MAN DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING TO?

CHRIS Doesn't look like Jimin or Yoongi so… don't care

ANGRY MAN I AM DICK JOHNSON! POLITICIAN, RICH, AND VERY FAMOUS FOR RUINING THE LIVES OF IRRITANT PEOPLE LIKE YOU, I ALREADY DESTROYED HUGE BUSINESSES, AND I WILL DESTROY YOUR DUMB LITTLE ICE CREAM BUSINESS IN A BLINK OF EYES!

The scene shows Chris, with a pillow, lying on the beach sand, sleeping and snoring very loudly, she suddenly wakes up..

CHRIS What? Did you say something?

ANGRY MAN Do you have a problem?

CHRIS I don't have "a problem", but I have "a strawberry", "a chocolate" and I even-

ANGRY MAN GET OUT! GET OUT!

CHRIS Get Out? Ok.

Chris whistles and a big rottweiler enters the scene, on the dog's collar has the name "Out".

CHRIS Here!

The dog starts attacking the man, who screams, after attacking him, the dog stops in front of Chris, who pets it and gives it a treat, the dog then leaves.

CHRIS (to the man, who is hurt on the ground) He's a cutie, isn't he?

ANGRY MAN Ouch…

CHRIS No, "Ouch" is the Pitbull, this one's OUT!

The dog, Out, comes back and starts attacking the man again, he then quickly leaves. The angry man then stands ups, bends down to talk to Chris and screams in her face.

ANGRY MAN (screaming in Chris' face) LEAVE!

CHRIS Uuh, plural of leaf?

ANGRY MAN JUST GO AWAY! THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!

Chris then pulls out a speech balloon and a Goku from behind her.

CHRIS But are you sayin' or super sayin'?

GOKU KAAAMEEEHAAAMEEEHAAAAA!

Goku uses a Kamehameha on the man, turning him to dust, the ashes that remains of the man falls on his chair.

ANGRY MAN (powder only) The heck?

CHRIS (throwing Goku away and popping the text balloon) You're all burned up, dude.

The man then gets up from his chair and stands trying to make an intimidating pose in front of Chris, who is smiling at him beside her ice cream cart.

CHRIS So, do you want an ice cream?

ANGRY MAN NO! NO! NO! I ALREADY SAID NO! ARE YOU AN IDIOT?

CHRIS Only on days that end with "y".

ANGRY MAN GRRRR... You know what? I'm gonna go to another chair, bye. I HOPE YOU DROWN, DEMON!

The man leaves looking for another chair.

ANGRY MAN HELLO, HELLO? ANYONE USEFUL IN THIS HELLISH BEACH TO HELP ME? I WANT A PARASOL AND A CHAIR RIGHT NOW! AND IT'S BETTER TO BE A COMFORTABLE ONE OR I'LL BREAK IT IN YOUR HEAD!

The scene shows Chris, making a face like she knows that the man won't escape so easily, Chris then looks at the camera.

CHRIS Time for Round 2, folks.

She grabs a ball with the number 2 on it, raises her eyebrows and throws the ball away. The scene then changes to Joseph, who is waiting for a client, finally, a kid approaches.

KID Do you have ice cream?

JOSEPH (sarcastically) No, the sign is a lie.

KID Oh, dang it, I wanted one, okay whatever bye.

The kid starts to run and move away from Joseph.

JOSEPH What? No, I was j... oh whatever, go away!

Out of nowhere a well dressed man approaches Joseph's cart.

MAGIC BEANS TRADER Good day, young man. I would like an ice cream.

JOSEPH Nice, 1 dollar!

MAGIC BEANS TRADER Well, how about something even more precious than money? Three magic beans!

JOSEPH Three magic beans? Do you think I'm stupid?

MAGIC BEANS TRADER Well… um… uuh.

JOSEPH At least give me some cornbread too.

MAGIC BEANS TRADER Deal!

Joseph gives the man a pot of pineapple ice cream, and the man gives him three beans and cornbread, and Joseph eats it right away, the man then goes away.

JOSEPH (looking at the screen) Ha, he thinks he can fool me, (licks his lips) dee-licious.

The scene changes to Chris, flying on the beach with her cart, she then suddenly stops.

CHRIS (paralyzed) Oh no… I just felt! (crying) SOMEONE IN THE TRIO EATING SOMETHING WITHOUT ME! Waaaah.

She starts to fly around with her cart crying, the scene then changes to Philip pushing his cart.

PHILIP ICE CREAM! ICE CREAM! COME GET YOUR ICE CREAM!

A volleyball player approaches him and his cart

VOLLEYBALL PLAYER Hey buddy, homemade?

PHILIP Me? Well, I was made on my home, but I won't get into details 'cuz this show is family friendly.

VOLLEYBALL PLAYER What? No, I'm talking about the ice cream!

PHILIP Well, ice cream is inanimate so I don't think it can have...

VOLLEYBALL PLAYER I AM ASKING IF THE ICE CREAM IS MADE AT HOME!

PHILIP Oh, no, it's made in a pot, there are also some that are made on a stick.

VOLLEYBALL PLAYER FORGET IT!

The volleyball player leaves furious, Philip just makes a confused expression. The scene changes to Joseph talking to another kid.

KID Give me a currant ice cream!

JOSEPH I don't have any currant one, do you want any other flavor?

KID Oh, sure, then gimme a chocolate one and a currant one!

JOSEPH (looks at the screen incredulous) There's no currant, dude.

KID Wow, alright, then gimme a mint one and a currant one.

JOSEPH THERE'S NO CURRANT ONE!

KID For God's sake, you don't have any ice cream do ya?

JOSEPH I DO, I JUST DON'T HAVE CURRANT!

KID ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! JUST GIMME A CURRANT ONE AND LEAVE!

Joseph looks at the screen and runs away, he goes to a currant bush, grabs some currants, and runs to an ice cream fabric, he then stays 3 seconds inside the fabric and runs back to the kid, holding a pot of currant ice cream.

JOSEPH (reaches out to give the kid the ice cream) Here.

KID YAAY!

Joseph throws the ice cream in the ground and smashes it with a giant hammer, the kid looks at it, scared.

JOSEPH SCRAM!

The kid runs away.

JOSEPH (calmer, looking at the camera) Kids nowadays… aren't they beeeautiful?

Joseph looks at the horizon and sees Philip talking to an elderly woman. The scene focuses on Philip and the woman.

ELDERLY WOMAN Son, what does the strawberry one taste like?

PHILIP (sarcastically) Mango.

The woman looks angrily at Philip, but quickly stops and starts laughing.

ELDERLY WOMAN Hahahahahahah, oh, I love some humorous people, alright give me one.

The woman gives 1 dollar to Philip, and he gives her a strawberry ice cream. The scene again focuses on Joseph, who is outraged by what he saw.

JOSEPH (looking at camera) WHAT? WHY WHEN HE'S RUDE IT STILL WORKS?

A young woman with sunglasses comes close to Joseph, when Joseph sees her his jaw drops.

SUNGLASSES WOMAN Hi, do you have mint?

JOSEPH (in love) Yeah! Do you have a boyfriend?

SUNGLASSES WOMAN Yes.

JOSEPH (excited) Want a second one?

SUNGLASSES WOMAN No.

Joseph, gets sad and grabs two pots of mint ice cream.

JOSEPH (holding two pots of ice cream) With or without chips?

SUNGLASSES WOMAN What kind of chips?

JOSEPH You know, The Titanic, SS Edmund Fitzgerald, S. S. Minnow.

SUNGLASSES WOMAN Oh. Uuuuh… ok, bye.

The woman gets weirded out and walks away.

JOSEPH (looking at camera) Well, guess the "ship" Joseph x Sunglasses Woman was a "wreck".

Joseph slaps his own knee.

JOSEPH I'M A COMEDY GENIUS!

Out of nowhere the screen freezes and a news intro plays. The scene then changes to William, sitting on a news scenary.

WILLIAM BREAKING NEWS! William here, thank you. We are interrupting your reading for a simple reminder. CHIP, with an C, and SHIP with an S, are two different things, don't eat ships or boats or anything similar, and don't put ships in your ice cream, it was just a little pun haha, and the pun is not even good. Don't worry, don't worry, your reading can continue now, just a quick reminder. Thanks.

The news ends and the same intro from the beginning plays. The scene changes to Chris, still flying and crying around with her cart.

CHRIS (crying) Waah, waaah, why didn't he wait to share it with me, why, why.

Chris suddenly stops crying when she sees the angry man from before, who finally found a good chair and parasol, next to him, an elderly man, the one who gave him the chair, the old man is holding a beer. The scene changes to Chris again, she quickly gasps.

CHRIS Why was I crying again?

The scene changes to the angry man sitting on his chair and the old man standing close to him.

ELDERLY MAN We have already went through 10 chairs, just decide it already!

ANGRY MAN WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING? I AM A CLIENT, YOU HAVE TO SMILE AND EVEN KISS MY FOOT IF I ASK FOR IT, I AM THE AUTHORITY HERE. THIS ONE IS GOOD, GIMME MY BEER AND SCRAM, BECAUSE YOU ANNOY ME, OLD MAN.

The elderly man gives the beer to the angry man and leaves, the man remains calm for a while, then Chris appears out of nowhere behind him and takes a megaphone.

CHRIS (speaking very fast and loudly on the megaphone, imitating a saleswoman) HELLO, HELLO, HELLO! I'm here to present you an amazing product! THE ICE CREAM! Only 1 dollar!

ANGRY MAN AAAAAAHHHHH!

The angry man jumps very high and almost hits his head again on the ceiling of the parasol, but when he is very close to hitting, Chris puts a pillow on the ceiling that cushions the hit. The man then falls sitting in his chair, still panting from the shock.

CHRIS That's the spirit, you know what they say (screaming in the megaphone) I SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!

ANGRY MAN GRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHH !!! YOU AGAIN!!!

CHRIS Ya' missed me, right?

ANGRY MAN NO!!! I HATE YOU!!!

Chris then calmly gets closer to the man.

CHRIS Now have a pot, and don't be mean. Would you like to buy ice cream?

ANGRY MAN (grabbing Chris and throwing her away) I do not want your dumb ice cream! Now go away or I will scream!

The man throws Chris away, but when he turns around she is just there as if nothing had happened.

CHRIS Would you like a chocolate one? There's also mint and bubblegum.

ANGRY MAN I would not like a chocolate one. And neither mint or bubblegum. I do not want your dumb ice cream! Now go away or I will scream!

CHRIS Would you like napolitan? While being run over by a van?

When Chris says this a van appears out of nowhere and runs over the angry man, leaving him on the ground, injured.

ANGRY MAN (ran over and hurt) I would not like napolitan. While being run over by a van. I do not want your dumb ice cream! Now go away or I will scream!

The man gets up, still pretty injured.

CHRIS Do you want some brown bread? With an anvil in your head?

ANGRY MAN AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!

An anvil then falls on the angry man's head, crushing him.

ANGRY MAN (crushed, below the anvil) I do not want some brown bread. With an anvil in my head. I do not want your dumb ice cream! Now go away or I will scream!

The man gets up and throws the anvil away.

CHRIS Would you, could you, honeycomb? While you hold a ticking bomb?

The man looks at his hands and sees a bomb, he tries to throw it away but it's glued to his hand, he just looks hopeless at the screen and the bomb explodes on him, making his face all black because it burned it.

ANGRY MAN (with his face all burned up, injured) I would not, could not, honeycomb. While I hold a ticking bomb. I do not want your dumb ice cream! Now go away or I will scream!

The man cleans his face and looks at Chris threateningly.

CHRIS Aw, come on, you're on the beach. Try vanilla, lemon, peach!

ANGRY MAN I don't care that I'm on the beach. I won't try vanilla, lemon or peach. I do not want your dumb ice cream! Now go away or I will scream! Seriously, give up, I will not buy it.

CHRIS Geez, you're though, come on, ya gotta try it.

ANGRY MAN NO, I WON'T, ALRIGHT THIS RHYMING IS ANNOYING, I HATE YOU SO MUCH!

CHRIS (crossing her arms) Well, I don't, (jumping on the man's arms) and I think we should stay in touch.

ANGRY MAN (throwing Chris in the sand) I HATE! I HATE! I HATE! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

CHRIS I understand that you're rude, you know what? Talk to the hand!

Chris makes the "talk to the hand" sign, and a giant hand falls from the sky and smashes the man.

ANGRY MAN (crushed) Ooouch…

CHRIS (excited) The Pitbull?

ANGRY MAN Ugh.

CHRIS Ok, I have a question.

The angry man gets up quickly, throwing the giant hand away.

ANGRY MAN Listen here, if you say "Do you want to buy an ice cream?" I will-

CHRIS Finally surrender and buy the ice cream?

ANGRY MAN NO!!! I DON'T WANT ICE CREAM!!!!!!!

CHRIS Why not?

ANGRY MAN BECAUSE NOT!!

CHRIS Why not?

ANGRY MAN BECAUSE NOT AND PERIOD!!!

CHRIS Why not?

ANGRY MAN BECAUSE I DON'T LIKE ICE CREAM AND I DON'T WANT TO SUPPORT YOUR USELESS BUSINESS!!!

CHRIS Why not?

ANGRY MAN B…well, uuuhhh.

CHRIS Tell me, why are you so rude with everyone? Did you go through the same?

ANGRY MAN Uhhhh...

CHRIS You can tell me.

Chris throws the man's chair away and puts in a therapy chair, the man lies down, she then takes a psychologist's chair and a notebook.

ANGRY MAN (lying down while Chris takes notes) Well, you know, in the past I was poor and had a small business too, I was poor but honest, I tried to stay cool. Until one day several richer people started to make fun of me, they said that I was going to die poor, I was insecure and stressed out, and I started working like crazy to try to be richer than them, I became a monster, I destroyed everyone smaller and took all their money for me, now that I’m rich, I don’t wanna go back to poverty anymore, I’m afraid of that, so I never trust anyone and I’m rude to everyone, to avoid bonding and having more betrayals. What do you think about that, doctor?

Chris stops writing in her notebook.

CHRIS That was...

Chris shows what she had written down, in fact the notebook was just a crossword puzzle.

CHRIS (laughing) ...HILARIOUS, hahahahahahahahaha! Oh poor guy, poor little thing, wah wah, cry cry!

The man jumps out of the therapy chair, insanely irritated, looking at Chris.

CHRIS But, anyways, do you want an ice cream?

The man's veins begin to pulse strongly, he becomes red, foaming with rage, from his ears and nostrils smoke comes out, he raises his hand to Chris. Tired, he calms down, lowers his head in defeat and gives Chris a dollar.

ANGRY MAN If I buy one will you leave?

CHRIS In a blink.

ANGRY MAN Ugh, ok, what do you have?

CHRIS Ice cream.

ANGRY MAN WHAT'S THE FLAVOR?

CHRIS Sweet.

ANGRY MAN GRRRRR!!! Ugh, give me a chocolate one.

CHRIS OK.

Chris opens her ice cream cart to get the man's ice cream, but stops halfway.

CHRIS Hey! Wait a second.

Chris grabs an ice cream pot, opens it and only sees fish, she opens another one and sees vegetables.

CHRIS (angry) Oh poo, I hate when I open the ice cream pot and there's frozen food in it.

She looks at the man.

CHRIS Yeah man, no ice cream today, take your dollar back.

The man takes the dollar and looks at Chris, then he starts to smile.

ANGRY MAN Hahaha, frozen food? HAHA HA! So you never had ice cream? HAHA, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

The man takes Chris's cart and jumps aways, driving the cart like crazy on the beach, doing somersaults and throwing frozen food at everyone.

ANGRY MAN (from a distance, jumping, moving further and further away) HAHAHAHA, FREE FOOD GUYS, TODAY WE HAVE FROZEN FISH, WHO WANTS SOME? HAHAHAHA BLUBLUBLU BUY FROZEN VEGETABLES TOO PEOPLE HAHA!

The scene shows Chris, a little weirded out, she looks at the camera confused and says.

CHRIS Actually, this guy must be Pisces.

A clock on a tower in the distance says it's 5PM, Chris sees the clock and decides to go flying to the boardwalk where the challenge started. The scene then changes to Philip, already on the boardwalk, talking to a girl in a hat and sunglasses.

PHILIP You know, I was thinking, if revenge is a dish best served cold, and revenge is sweet, does it mean that it is ice cream?

HAT WOMAN What? (being pushed) AAAAAHHHH !!!!

Joseph arrives irritated, running over and pushing the girl with his cart.

PHILIP Jeez, (pause) sold nothing, right Joe?

JOSEPH Shh.

Out of nowhere Chris arrives flying without her cart and lands next to Joseph and Philip.

PHILIP Chris, we didn't see you all morning.

JOSEPH Where's your cart?

CHRIS I lent it to a guy.

PHILIP Ok, people, how much did you get?

CHRIS AND JOSEPH 0 dollars.

JOSEPH 0 dollars… buuut, a three beans and cornbread lunch.

CHRIS (angry) SO IT WAS YOU! GRRRRR!

Chris starts to beat up Joseph inside a cartoon cloud fight!

JOSEPH (inside the fight cloud) AAAHHHH!

PHILIP I got 4 dollars. I win! And no, we really can't work as ice cream sellers.

The fight cloud suddenly stops, with Chris and Joseph making stupid poses.

JOSEPH Yeah, now "icy" how bad it is.

Joseph runs to a drum set, plays "ba dum tss" and quickly returns.

JOSEPH I'll lose my sanity, but not the pun.

Chris starts to beat up Joseph in the fight cloud again.

PHILIP But hey, this job may not be for us but I know someone who will like it.

Joseph and Chris stop fighting and go one to each side of Philip.

JOSEPH AND CHRIS What? Who?

PHILIP Leonard the Leaf!

Philip extends his arms off the screen, holds something and brings his arms to the screen again, revealing that he is holding Leonard the Leaf. Philip then throws Leonard on top of his cart.

LEONARD Hi.

JOSEPH The people will not understand this reference, his story hasn't started yet!

PHILIP (looking at camera) But it's the next one, so if you want to know who the heck this guy is, READ THE REST!

Philip, Joseph and Chris look at each other with tired and irritated looks, Leonard just sits in Philip's ice cream cart, looking at the trio with a neutral look.

PHILIP Now let's go home, I hated this beach.

JOSEPH AND CHRIS I agree.

The trio runs off the screen, leaving only Leonard on top of the carts, Leonard looks at the camera confused and the screen closes.

-------------------------------------------------- ------- PLANT PROBLEMS

The scene begins with Leonard in the garden of a house talking to a woman, the garden has huge grass.

HOUSE OWNER Okay, so, I want you to fix my garden. Can I really trust you?

LEONARD Of course, I've been a gardener since kindergarden.

HOUSE OWNER It's… kindergarTen.

LEONARD Whatever.

HOUSE OWNER But wait, aren't you a leaf? Isn't a leaf cutting other leaves a little strange?

LEONARD What? Are you saying that all the leaves are the same?

HOUSE OWNER No, it's just… um… nevermind, how long have you been a gardener to have so much experience?

LEONARD Who do you think planted the Garden of Eden?

HOUSE OWNER WAS IT YOU?

LEONARD Exactly.

HOUSE OWNER "Ezacly"? Who is it? A friend of yours?

Leonard looks at the camera a little surprised.

LEONARDO (sarcastically) Yes.

HOUSE OWNER Okay, so seriously, how long have you been a gardener?

LEONARD Since I saw the ad saying you needed one.

HOUSE OWNER Ugh, I feel like I'm making a mistake.

LEONARD Take it easy, the lawn will be beautiful like me.

HOUSE OWNER (concerned) Is… is that a threat?

Leonard looks at the camera with a sarcastic look.

LEONARD I can see how someone like you would think that.

HOUSE OWNER What do you mean by that?

LEONARD Exactly.

Leonard shoves the woman into her house.

HOUSE OWNER Huh? What does your friend has to do with anything?

Leonard then locks the door.

LEONARD Let's see, what can I do.

Leonard looks at the lawn mower, picks it up and starts mowing the lawn.

LEONARD HEY HEY HEY! What's that, narrator? Are you dumb? Do you think I'm going to do something as simple as that? YOU can be a simpleton like that, but I'm Leonard the Leaf, I can do better than that.

You said "that" four times.

LEONARD And is THAT your problem?

Whatever, Leonard starts to think, until he has an idea and a light bulb appears in his head.

LEONARD A light bulb? How cliché, I can do better than that!

The light bulb gets angry at Leonard and breaks itself in his head.

LEONARD Ow! HEY!

And an anvil falls on Leonard and crushes him.

LEONARD (crushed and hurt) NARRATOR!

And a ship also falls o-

LEONARD Ok, ok, I won't be mean anymore!

Alright then. A glowing mushroom appears in Leonard's head and he has an idea.

LEONARD Now that's more creative! And I have an idea, I'll get cleaning products and mix with herbicide, the mixture of the two things will kill the whole grass. Genius.

Leonard starts picking up various products without even looking, and when he goes to get the herbicide, he gets a liquid fertilizer by accident. Leonard then pours them all into a bowl and starts mixing everything with a wooden spoon.

LEONARD I am so smart.

Leonard takes the wooden spoon out of the bowl to put on the floor. The moment he was taking it out of the bowl, a small carnivorous plant bites his foot.

LEONARD OW! HEY!

Leonard kneels and gets closer to the carnivorous plant that bit him.

LEONARD (angry) Listen here! (pointing at the plant) You little wretch, how dare you bite the great Leonard the Leaf? I warn you, if you do it again, you will be the first one to die.

When Leonard finishes saying this, the carnivorous plant bites his index finger hardly.

LEONARD AAAAHHH! (sucking his finger) Okay!

Leonard takes the wooden spoon and dips the tip of it in the bowl, soaking it with the mixture. He then lets the mixture drip onto the carnivorous plant, which begins to melt.

LEONARD That's what you get for messing with LEONARD THE LEAF!

The melting carnivorous plant suddenly grows and becomes gigantic in front of Leonard.

CARNIVOROUS PLANT ROOAAR.

LEONARD (intimidated) Can we talk about that?

The carnivorous plant swallows Leonard, chews him, makes a disgusted face, and spits him out. After that the plant detaches from the ground and runs away. The scene then shows Leonard chewed and bruised on the side of the bowl.

LEONARD (bruised, with a bump on his head) aND tHeN tHEy ThiNk IT's wEiRd thAT i wAnT To kiLL pLaNTs

Leonard then gets up, enraged, looking at the bowl.

LEONARD The heck? Why didn't it work? Did I put something wrong?

Leonard looks at the chemicals and sees the liquid fertilizer can he accidentally put.

LEONARD Oh. So it was this! (shouting) GO AWAY STUPID THING!

Leonard throws the can of liquid fertilizer away, the can falls on top of the lawn mower, activating it. The mower starts to walk across the lawn, shaking and making the can drop liquid fertilizer all over the garden. Everywhere, carnivorous plants start to grow and look at Leonard.

LEONARD How the heck there are so many carnivorous plants here?

Leonard prepares to run away, but the lawn mower passes over him, cutting him all up. After that, all the giant carnivorous plants start attacking Leonard, who screams loudly, after a while, the plants come off the ground and run away, leaving Leonard completely butchered on the ground. Leonard gets up furious and in an impulsive action, without thinking, kicks the bowl with the mixture away.

LEONARD (sad and worried) I feel that this was a mistake.

The bowl falls on an apple tree, and makes it and its apples become giant.

LEONARD Woah!

Leonard comes closer to the giant apple tree, which has the bowl that Leonard kicked at the top.

LEONARD (looking up) That's all I needed! How am I going to get this stupid bowl from this dumb tree.

Leonard kicks the tree in anger.

LEONARD (with his foot hurting) MY FOOT!

Leonard begins to hold one of his feet in pain while he bounces in circles with the other, the bowl at the top of the tree then falls on him.

LEONARD (bruised under the bowl) My FoOt, hEaD, SHoUldERs, EarS, And EveRYthiNG eLsE…

One of the giant apples fell from the tree, crushing the bowl and Leonard.

LEONARD (bruised under the bowl and the giant apple) Ok, I wiLL TRy sOMetHinG siMpLe…

The screen closes and the scene changes to Leonard using the lawn mower to mow the lawn.

LEONARD (sarcastically) Oh really, narrator? You're so smart aren't you.

And then a ship-

LEONARD NONONONO! SORRY, SORRY!

Yeah, continuing. Leonard is mowing the lawn quietly, until an elderly neighbor appears at the garden fence.

NEIGHBOR Are you the new gardener?

LEONARD (mentally) Oh my tree, is everyone in here a Captain Obvious?

Leonard still walking with the lawn mower looks at the neighbor.

LEONARD (sarcastically) No, I'm a thief, but I only steal houses with nice gardens, so I'm fixing this one to steal it later.

The neighbor understands the sarcasm and makes an annoyed face.

NEIGHBOR Well, this garden is so badly cut that it ACTUALLY looks like you're vandalizing it. I mean, I bet you don't even know anything about plants.

Shocked, Leonard takes his hands off the lawn mower still on and goes in front of the neighbor.

LEONARD (angry and shocked) What? Are you looking at me? I AM a plant! AND I AM LEONARD THE LEAF, I understand everything and anything!

NEIGHBOR Okay, so tell me. (pointing to a random direction in the garden that Leonard is in) From what family that plant is?

LEONARD Is from the owner of this house's family, which by the way is called House Owner, weird name, right?

NEIGHBOR Well, my name is Neighbor so I don't judge. ANYWAYS, DO NOT CHANGE THE SUBJECT! (pointing in a random direction) What plant is that?

LEONARD Hmm. Well, I only know the scientific name, it's a Mammillaria?

Out of nowhere Philip, Joseph and Chris appear on Leonard's side.

PHILIP HEY!

LEONARD AND NEIGHBOR AAAAH!

PHILIP Leo! This show is supposed to be family friendly!

LEONARD W-what the heck are doing here? You already had a story!

PHILIP We are preventing you from contaminating readers' minds with foul words.

LEONARD These are plants names.

PHILIP Yeah, right, nice excuse.

Leonard looks at the camera annoyed, he then puts Philip, Chris and Joseph in a box and kicks the three away.

LEONARD (looking at the neighbor) So, I got the name of the plant right, are you convinced?

NEIGHBOR Hmm, okay, (pointing to a random direction) but, what's that one?

LEONARD Um… a Bifora testiculata!

Out of nowhere Philip, Joseph and Chris appear on Leonard's side again.

LEONARD AND NEIGHBOR AAAAHH!

LEONARD AGAIN?

PHILIP That's what the narrator said.

True.

CHRIS Leo, are you going to stop or not?

LEONARD (annoyed) THESE ARE PLANT NAMES!

Leonard takes a bucket, shoves the trio into the bucket, turns around and throws it away.

LEONARD (looking angrily to the neighbor) ARE YOU CONVINCED OR NOT? IDIOT!

NEIGHBOR Not yet.

LEONARD For the love of the tree, okay, gimme another question, THE LAST QUESTION.

NEIGHBOR Now say the name of (pointing to random direction), that one!

LEONARD A Pinus rigida.

Out of nowhere Philip, Joseph and Chris appear on Leonard's side again, this time, Joseph is holding a giant hammer.

LEONARD AND NEIGHBOR AAAHH!

LEONARD (furious) WHAT IS IT?

JOSEPH We warned you.

Joseph smashes Leonard with the giant hammer.

LEONARDO (crushed and bruised) $#&@

PHILIP (looking at Chris and Joseph) Sailor mouth, huh?

Joseph and Chris nod yes to Philip, after that, the trio leaves jumping away. Leonard gets up furiously and looks at the old neighbor.

LEONARD ANY OTHER QUESTIONS, SON OF A...

The lawn mower Leonard let go and left on before comes back and runs him over. Out of nowhere, Philip, Chris and Joseph appear on the side of Leonard, who is all cut up on the ground.

PHILIP Son of a what?

LEONARD (cut on the ground) Don't you dare.

NEIGHBOR No more questions, you really do know a lot about plants, huh?

LEONARD (cut on the floor) Of course, I'm the great Leonard the…

The lawn mower runs over Leonard again, making him even more cut up.

LEONARD LeAF.

The screen closes and the scene changes to Leonard on the side of another bowl, with the same chemicals as before.

LEONARD I knew I shouldn't have given up on the first idea just because of a silly mistake, I am a genius, I will never doubt myself again.

Leonard takes a can of herbicide.

LEONARD THIS TIME, I AM SURE THAT I PUT THE FREAKING RIGHT BOTTLE!

Leonard puts the herbicide in the cleaning product mix and mixes everything.

LEONARD (mixing) Yes, perfect, FINALLY.

Leonard starts to throw his mixture everywhere, and where he throws it, the grass dies. While he does this, the owner of the house leaves the house to check how everything is going.

HOUSE OWNER So, Leonard, I came to see how you are… MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?

The lady sees her lawn in a horrible state because of all the things that happened.

HOUSE OWNER (shocked) ARE YOU KILLING THE GRASS? I JUST WANTED YOU TO CUT IT! AND WHAT'S THAT GIANT APPLE DOING THERE? AND WHY SO MANY HOLES IN THE GROUND? AND WHY THERE'S A GIANT HAMMER HERE?

LEONARD Calm down, calm down, I can explain! I'm killing the grass because it's smarter than mowing it now and having to mow it again later, the giant apple is because I made a magic mixture that made things grow in size, the holes were made by giant carnivorous plants that came out of the ground and attacked me, and the giant hammer is from a boy who magically appeared here with his 2 friends and crushed me with it.

The woman looks at Leonard in disbelief.

LEONARD It's true.

The woman kicks Leonard off her lawn, and he flies away until falling into a trash can. He then takes a piece of paper and a pencil and erases "gardener" off a list of possible jobs.

LEONARD Meh, I was too good for gardener anyways.

Leo looks at the camera angrily, the screen closes and the episode ends.

-------------------------------------------------- ------- TODAY'S POEM

And now the curtains open, and it shows in the scene, Philip, Chris and Joseph, who are looking at the screen.

PHILIP It's time for today's poem, and now for your delight!

CHRIS We're gonna read a poem, DUH, kinda obvious, am I right?

Joseph takes a paper, with the poem of the day, and now we all wonder, what will this fool say?

JOSEPH HEY!!!

PHILIP Yo, come on Joe, no delay!

CHRIS Yeah, otherwise, boss won't pay.

Joseph calms down and with a look of concentration, he start to read it, with no hesitation.

JOSEPH Mary had a little lamb So she put it in a pan And ate it with jam I dunno why she would do this, man But if she can do it, you also can

CHRIS And that was today's poem.

PHILIP Now, SCRAM!

#episode #writing #comedy #humor

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ansgar-martinsson · 4 years

Text

The Best Intentions - Part 7

“You know, Joline, you remind me of someone,” Ansgar chuckled, lifting his fingers to wave languidly at the passing jogger. He laughed harder when said jogger did a double take and turned his head quickly away. “Someone I knew in America.”

“Really?” Joline replied. “I remind you of an American woman?”

He nodded. “You are very American in your demeanor, but in only the good ways.”

“In the good ways, huh?”

“Yes,” Ansgar bowed his head slightly. “In the good ways.”

“As opposed to like… the bad ways?”

Ansgar inhaled, his eyes widening. “Oh, there are many, many bad ways, believe me.”

“Like what?”

Ansgar snorted. “Like…,” he blinked, pulling down his lower lip in a slight cringe, “a bizarre obsession with American football and baseball, a love for tiger-piss beer, a craving for over processed foods, hyper-consumerism and and an overt label consciousness,” he frowned, still considering. “Not to mention a need to be considered independent paired with a constant demand to be pampered, kowtowed to, and fawned upon, and a tendency to be offended by the slightest thing and then post a crusade on Facebook about it. That sort of thing.”

She sucked air through her teeth. “Yeah, bad ways. I get it. So, who was she? This American in the good ways who I remind you of.”

“Her name is Kay. Kay Browntree. She’s in the construction business, a flooring contractor. Has her own business, very ambitious. But she has her boots on the ground for all of her work. Very hands-on. Grout under the fingernails and all that. I liked that about her.”

“A girlfriend?”

Ansgar sighed. “A potentiality that never came to fruition, I’m afraid. I was in Chicago on a project, she was one of my subcontractors. Unfortunately, I had to move on to another project across the country.”

“Why do I remind you of her?”

Ansgar lifted his eyes in thought. He crossed his legs as he twisted to face her, one arm draped languidly in his lap, the other remained perched atop the back of the bench. “Many reasons, I suppose. Kay makes me laugh – a rare thing indeed. She’s carefree. She gives zero shits about who I am, about my bank account or about appearances or personal hierarchies or societal proprieties. She speaks her mind, damn the consequences. She’s honest, transparent, hard-working, and driven. There’s nothing false about her. What I see is what I get. Much like you.”

In short, nothing like Faye. Nothing at all like Faye.

“Oh,” she intoned. “Tell me more.”

He laughed again, but his face softened. He reached toward her and brushed a lock of her dark hair away from her eye, drawing the soft strands gently between finger and thumb. “I see… I see a soft sophistication to you– a knowledge of art, a taste for luxury, an appreciation of the beauty in machinery and an admiration of the finer things. I see an innate grace in the way you move – in the way you shook out your hair when you took off your helmet, for example.” He shrugged. “She’s a lot like you in those ways as well.”

Her eyes widened, just that little bit, Ansgar noted, a microexpression of self-conscious surprise, a shiver at his touch. She shifted further on the bench, crossing one leg beneath the other, her booted foot dangling off the edge of the bench. She leaned against the back, her elbow hooked around the wood slat, her hand dangling just near her breast.

Ansgar couldn’t help but look.

And she caught him looking. She peered down at her own chest, and knowingly lifted her eyes back to him, her hand open in an indicative gesture. “Oh, I get it. Really, it’s just that she’s got great tits like mine.”

Ansgar choked, his eyes gone wide, his mouth formed into a hollow ‘o’. He recovered quickly, flipping a sardonic yet appreciative quirk of an eyebrow. “Noooo,” he crooned. “Yours are far better.”

It was her turn to choke. She sat bold upright, staring incredulously at him. “Excusemewhat?”

He formed his features into a comical ‘oops’ face, his eyebrows shot high, his lips puckered, his hand covering his mouth in a gesture of mock delicate prudishness. “Oh, did I say that out loud? Well. Hmmmmm.” His lips curled in a wicked half-grin. “That must mean that I find you sexy as well.”

“We’re doing brilliantly at keeping our partnership purely professional.” She dipped her head back to follow a bird in flight. “Nice alliteration.” “Thanks. It pops out sometimes.” She shifted on the bench, bending the knee under her to bring up to her chest. She tugged her foot as close to her bum, hugging her arms around it. Her other foot swung underneath the bench, her toes scraping an even tempo against the gravel. “Dad’s influence.” Ansgar saw her zealousness turn inward. The curse of loss taught him the same trick. He nearly opened his mouth to say something when she beat him to it. “He was American, you know,” she dropped in conversationally, without truly pausing to ask. “Got my guts, gumption, glory and grin from him.” A faux smile appeared, behind closed lips and a pensive look. “And my alliteration.” “But your surname… Lindberg, is Swedish, yes?” “My mother’s surname. My parents were… unconventional, never married, never lived in the same country. Scandalous!” She jazzhanded past that tidbit expecting outrage and judgement. When none came, she lifted her eyes to her companion. “Do you really want to hear all this? Or will you be reading the backs of your eyelids in sixty seconds?” Despite himself, Ansgar was intrigued by her. “Feel free to tell me as much or as little as you would like.” Jo’s eyes followed as a family of four chattered by, disrupting the atmosphere with all their ruckus. The baby cried, the toddler whined, the mother yelled and the father talked over all of them. “I’ll abbreviate. Dad worked for Zim International, that shipping company–” “I’m familiar with them. I held several contracts with them importing bamboo from Asia." "Oh, figures… all you executive types know each other.” He chuckled at the generalization, not at all offended by the stereotype. “I grew up here, near Gamla stan… until seventeen. I moved to America to go to uni, Norfolk it was, in Virginia. I stayed on there, graduated, worked, travelled…”

“And,” he flipped his hand, palm up in her direction, looking for another handout of information, “what made you move back here?”

Joline looked at him for a long moment, considering for as long as it took to make a decision on how much she should tell, how much was appropriate. She inhaled slowly, reciting the mantra on her arm over and over in her head.

Live life when you have it. Live life when you have it. Live life when you have it.

And so, she did. “I love my family; I needed them. I missed so much, my mother, my brother… He got married and had kids while I was away. I’d never met my sister-in-law. I didn’t meet my nephews until much later. My mother got sick. I missed so much. And then my marriage fell apart while I was living in Florida.”

“You’re married?”

“Was. Right out of uni. We were young and stupid and playing grown-ups, but we weren’t compatible. It was a mistake, one I’m glad to have made only so I don’t repeat it,” she sighed, playing at a rueful smile. “When there was no affection left in it, we went our separate ways. He went off to DC, and the offer for the Globe workshop fell in my lap. The Globe led me back here, put me in the running for the Opera House, and here I am.”

“I’m… I’m sorry,” he couldn’t find any other words to say. His thumb tucked in against his palm to follow that familiar track to the gold band on his ring finger. He didn’t spin it this time, only tapped it, reminding himself it was still there.

She smiled sadly, but there were no hard feelings of resentment or sadness in her features. “No need to apologize. Sometimes two people aren’t meant to be together. That’s not always tragic or the end of the world.” She stretched out her legs again, unraveling from the coil she’d put herself into. “I loved him once and I remember that. A part of me, my younger self, the overgrown teenager self, still loves Steven… always will. But she’s not all of me and I’m not quite her anymore. I don’t know if it happened suddenly or over time, but one day I just knew. I needed my family… and they needed me.”

Ansgar nodded. “Family, yes…,” he he paused for a moment in thought, his lips pursed. His eyes focused on nothing in particular… a boat in the distance… as the impact of Joline’s story washed over him.

He thought of his own losses. His own journey, the ways in which he’d shed skin after skin, identity over identity over the past few years. The way in which he’d, as Faye had put it, gone soft. Soft in Faye’s estimation, however, was still as prickly as The Iron Throne to the rest of the world. He thought of Magnus, of Rebecka, and of their child. Their children, now, plural. Thought of the way they had welcomed him back into their home, into their arms, into their world – no questions asked, no consternation about him being for all intents and purposes dead for a year and a half.

And to know Joline had lived that, or something like it as well gave him the sense of a kindred pull to her spirit. A knowledge. An understanding, and the weight of it, the warmth of it settled upon him like a blanket.

“Family is everything, isn’t it?” he finished his thought at last. “I mean, when you come down to it, no matter what sort of shit you get into, no matter how much you hurt them, no matter what pain you endure, no matter how long you’re… you’re gone, no matter how much you change, no matter how hard you try to disappear, it’s your family that… that….”

The sound of a screaming child from just to his right yanked him from his reverie. He shook his head, blinking hard, and gave a breathy chuckle, smiling ruefully up at Joline. He sighed. “Well,” he shrugged, “let’s just say it’s a good job you had your family to come home to.”

He pressed his hands to the bench and shifted forward to stand, but she stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Ansgar.”

“What!?” he snapped, but his eyes softened in almost immediate apology. Live life when you have it, right? “Look, Joline,” he sighed. I’m just going to come right out and say it. I think you’ve sussed by this point that I am rather… intrigued by you. Even more now that we’ve had this talk.”

“Yeah, I think I get that.” She smiled. “And I kind of want to jump your bones, too, so what’s the problem?”

“Complications,” he said, “albeit minor ones.” His lips curved in a melancholy smile. He stayed perched on the end of the bench, his knees spread wide, and he bent forward, elbows rest on his thighs. He clasped his hands together between, his thumbs working one against the other. “Things we should lay out on the table before we continue.”

“With our partnership? You’re not having second thoughts or…?”

“No! Of course not,” Ansgar sat upright. “That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“But,” she stood then and rest her hands on her hips. “What are you talking about, then? I mean… how can we even think of anything personal when we’re working together?”

“I’m very good at compartmentalizing,” Ansgar declared. “We simply need limits… understandings. I’ve done it before.”

She frowned, cocking her hip. “Done what before?”

“Worked closely with someone,” he took a long breath, his jaw jut forward. “Someone with whom I’d engaged in another sort of relationship.” He stood, then, and stepped nearer, peering down at her, his eyes hooded and intent. “I would like to know if you can do the same.”

She narrowed her eyes, tilting her head and matching his gaze with her own. “I can, I think,” she said slowly. “But, first, I need to know who.”

“Who? What do you mean, who?”

“Who was the someone you worked with? Who were you working with and fucking at the same time?”

He blinked, and his breath caught in his chest at the blunt force of her question. He kept his mask in place, however, his muscles barely moving, his eyes not wavering at all as he said slowly, evenly, “Faye Valentine-Martinsson. My former VP of Security. My wife.”

She lifted her chin, ever so slightly, and her right eye twitched. “Your… wife,” she intoned. She shook her head, her breath hissing from her flared nostrils. “Damn. That ring on your finger you keep playing with…. I should have known.”

“Joline…” Ansgar grasped her arm. “You don’t understand….”

She slapped his hand off, stepping quickly back. “You know, I thought for a minute that maybe you weren’t like that… how silly of me, how stupid! How…ah, fuck all of this… all of it!” She turned and ran, bolting down the gravel path, her boots kicking up small white rocks in her wake.

“Joline! Wait!” He pelted after her, quickly and easily catching up to her to run beside her. “Joline! Joline!”

…Joline… Joline! Please don’t take him just because you can.

“Leave me the hell alone!”

She increased her speed, but again, he matched, overtaking her. He passed her, cut her off, and quickly turned around, He caught her as she caromed into him, clutching her hard by both of her arms. “Stop,” he commanded. “For fuck’s sake, stop!”

“Let me go, Martinsson!” She writhed, grunting and growling against him, her leathers creaking against his.

“Hey!” He held her fast with an arm around her back. “Come on now! Listen!”

“You can’t…do this,” she seethed. “I won’t… I won’t be that… that woman!”

“What… oof! Ohhhh, fuck!” He groaned, bending over but keeping his grip on her. She’d turned in his arms and threw her elbow sharply backwards into his ribs. “Christ! What… what woman?”

“The other woman!” She gnarled, her teeth grit. “Won’t be your fucking mistress!” She kicked backwards, landing the heavy wooden heel of her boot squarely in the middle of his shin.

“Jesus fuck!” He howled and split his legs wide to avoid more blows. Likewise, he craned his neck to avoid her fists that flew at his face. “You… won’t be! You’re not…. ouch, damn you! Stop hitting me!”

“Fine! Then I’ll do this!” She lifted her foot and slammed it down hard upon his toes. “Fuck! Off!”

“Aargh! Stop that! That fucking hurts!” Ansgar released her, but swiftly whirled her back to face him. He grasped her by the head, one massive hand on either side, and he stilled her. First with a small shake, and then with his gaze, penetrating and sharp. Then with his voice, firm and commanding. “Joline! She left me! I. Am. Not. Married. Anymore!”

… and then, with a growl, he pulled roughly on her, drawing her firmly to him where he silenced her, at last, with his lips.

Joline grunted, her eyes slammed shut, not unexpectedly, but for the control she lost in the situation. All her fight instincts took flight, leaving her defenseless to Ansgar’s kiss. She opened to him, having lost her protestations, denials, angry outbursts of sexual frustration, and let his lips do the caressing, manipulating the last of her vigor.

His tongue swept across her parted lips, a brush against her lower lip, to test her, to make sure she wouldn’t bite as hard as she kicked. Instead she moaned as he tipped her head back to deepen the kiss. Boldly, encouraged by the heady auditory approval, Ansgar plundered her mouth with as much possessive greed as she had entered his office… and his life.

Joline hiked up on her booted toes to erase the last bit of distance between them, wanting for be consumed by the torrential heat blazing off of him. The tangle of tongues sent the sweetest torture of sensation straight to her core, her body heavy with need. One of his hands dug into her hair to hold her captive against his mouth, the other pressed into the small of her back, tipping her hips against his. Dull fingernails scraped along his scalp when she took hold of his curls.

Lust played an undeniable force around them like gravity held them to the Earth’s surface. Slaves to it, but masters of it within their sphere of two. Their friendly jogger, his sights on Ansgar, now making his fifth lap past them, cut his losses and kept going to beat off his own arousal at the picture the two made, a smash of leather, denim and desire.

Ansgar was the one to end the meld of lips and teeth and tongues, regrettably. He knew that if they went on as they were he’d tear her clothes from her body and take her right on the spot, the wandering curious gazes be damned.

Joline herself felt ready to jump into her arms, coil her long legs around him and search out the closest surface to fuck against. He tasted of coffee, sex, danger and she already felt the addictive streams pouring through her body, her pores itching for his fingers and mouth as a balm.

His breath panted against her lips, swollen and pink from the pressure of their passionate kiss and the burn of his goatee. But—Fuck! She was a vision! His influence on her for all to see, he was almost… enchanted by it. He dragged his thumb across her lip, “You’re delicious. I simply cannot wait to taste what other flavors you’re hiding.”

Joline kept her eyes closed, concentrating on the bursts of heated breath spreading over her abused lips and the vibrations from his lips to hers. “God-fucking-damn it, Martinsson!” Only her voice had dropped to a seductive purr instead of the angry tones from moments ago.

He dropped his mouth to her ear, his tongue rasped at the fleshy lobe just once before her murmured, “Search out other art on your skin.”

The five ink decorated skin spots hidden beneath her clothes tingled, sending out a honing signal for him to lock in on. Joline pried her eyes open as he lifted his face to peer into hers. The brassed off woman had been somewhat tamed by temptation, he could see it in the flush of arousal and the relaxed scowl. “If this is what ‘intrigued’gets me, I’m fucked if I ever pique your interest,” she quipped in a delayed response to his comment that led to the heated argument and equally as heated kiss.

The pride and arrogance displayed on him in the forming of a Cheshire grin. “You’re fucked either way, as soon as I get you alone,” he replied confidently.

“I was half hoping you’d be shit at the kissing bit,” she groused. Her hands and the rest of her trembled in her heightened arousal, her libido blaring red to near overload.

He smirked, his fingers playing in her hair once more, wondering at her natural color, “Should I apologize or thank you for the backhanded compliment?”

She sighed dejectedly, “Which drawer have you shoved me into then?” Her words adopted a combative tone but she was still pressed salaciously against him.

The slight didn’t faze him as it would anyone else. He recovered within the blink of an eye, “Joline, I didn’t mean you and you know that’s not what I meant by compartmentalizing.”

She pressed her shaking hands to his chest applying the slightest of pressure to extricate herself from his intoxicating embrace. It didn’t help, she wobbled like a newborn faun, her legs unsure after his seductive kiss. “I just need to know where I fit in your cupboard of playthings. One night stand? Fuckbuddy? Lover? Experiment? Trying me on to see if I fit? Mistress?” She hissed the last word.

Defensively, Ansgar grabbed her arms again, nailing her with his piercing gaze, rooting her to the spot. “I told you. My wife left me,” he ground out between clenched teeth. “You can’t be a mistress when there’s no spouse to cheat.”

She couldn’t explain her petulance. They’d only just met, she had no room to make demands on him. But she felt so strongly about being labeled… “I’m not a homewrecker. I don’t go after other women’s men. That’s not me. I’m not that woman! I won’t be!”

Exasperation colored his sigh of impatience as he dropped his chin to his chest. Women infuriated him at times, tested his limits and busted his balls. Getting laid shouldn’t be this difficult, especially when he reduced the woman to a quivering mess clearly affected by his kiss alone, as he’d done with Joline. “Christ, Joline, you’re not!”

“You’re wearing her ring… still. The one that you promised to love, honor, in sickness and all that rot, yes? It’s still on your finger where she placed it. So are you married or not?” She then crossed her arms under her breasts as if to shield herself from the truth or defend herself from crushing disappointment when he dismissed this thing as not worth the aggravation.

Ansgar’s eyes shifted back and forth between hers, assessing her stake in this. “Why is this so important to you?”

The traffic in the distance had faded, the boats on the water muted, the fragrant breeze that smelled of licorice stuck, even the humans in the ceased to exist. All of that stripped away to leave two souls trying to find common ground to explore their attraction for one another.

“Because when you take me to bed, Ansgar, I want you fucking me. I don’t want you fucking the memory of your wife or ex-wife or whoever she is. I don’t want agendas or schedules or any other person involved.” She stepped into his space again, tucked her forefinger into the belt buckle and tugged him against her until their bodies clashed together, breast to chest, stomach to abdomen, center to groin.

She purred, “Pleasure… adult animal magnetism… orgasms for hours.” Joline nuzzled her hips against his, not quite a graze but something akin to it, a promise of so much more. “Dirty, filthy, raw sex – between two people and we’re the only two people in that room. I want sweat. I want sticky heat. I want shortness of breath. I want my body clamped around your cock.” She bit his lower lip, raking her teeth over the sensitive flesh. “I want the neighbors needing a smoke when we’re sated and too blitzed to fuck again. You can have me when I can have you. You can fuck me when that ring isn’t on your finger.”

#the best intentions

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bobbiejelly · 4 years

Link

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25033117/chapters/60623164

Author's Note:

Welcome to Chapter 1 here, the story, the Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery College Library AU that nobody asked for.

Also, I've never been to Hanover, or Dartmouth, and I think it's nice, actually. It's just the self-deprecating sentiment that everyone feels about their own College that I'm expressing here. About my own College. But this is really not about me at all...

Enjoy!

bobbiejelly

@bobbiejelly

Meredith Grey/Addison Montgomery: A Learning Library

Libraries. Textbooks. Inappropriate flirting & sarcasms. Also, Meredith Grey sucks at studying, Addison Montgomery helps.

Chapter 1: Hanover Is Some High-Key Bullshit

Hanover is where Dartmouth College is, if you didn't catch that part and were gonna look it up like I did the first time.

Meredith Grey sucks at studying.

She knows she probably shouldn't, but she totally does and she hates it.

Meredith is THE ELLIS GREY'S DAUGHTER for chrissakes.

And she sucks at studying.

And she hates it.

Even though she really shouldn't.

So she's in the library now, the Dartmouth University library to be precise. She's doing her undergrad here or whatever and she's switching majors again because she sucks at studying again and she really shouldn't

Meredith knows she's a disappointment to her mother. And probably to her father even though she hasn't seen him (Thatcher Grey?) since she was five.

Meredith wishes she didn't have to have an imaginary question mark after her daddy's name like that but she's always sort-of wondered why Dr. Richard Webber's been over to her house more than her father has and she's had a sinking suspicion that he could have been actually her real dad.

So she has daddy issues. So she has mommy issues. So a lot of things...!

Ugh. Meredith Grey freaking hates studying.

She wants to be a doctor, but she's more interested in 'playing doctor,' (oops!), with every attractive person, guy or girl or otherwise, that seems to cross her path while she's shooting tequila at the campus bar.

Meredith Grey at 21-and-a-half feels strikingly liberated that she's allowed to drink legally now.

(I mean, not that she did before then. Jokes. She has since she was… Meredith doesn't want to admit that part even in her own head. Sorry, Ellis. Sorry, Thatcher. Sorry, Richard…).

So now Meredith is sitting in the library wishing she had some tequila or hot people or both even though this is a study hall and NOT a bar.

But she thinks that some people call College a place for 'experimentation,' and really now, Meredith likes experiments. Okay, she likes 'experimenting,'. With people. With her pants off. Not like, scientifically speaking.

Right.

Because Meredith sucks at Science, and sucks at Math, and sucks at English, and sucks at History, and doesn't speak French even though she sometimes pretends to.

(Mais non!).

And she's sort-of falling asleep on her textbook now because it's comfy and at least that parts good about this Gray's Anatomy textbook that literally costs more than her first month's rent here.

Bastards.

(The textbook companies, that is).

Meredith Grey might have had a really freakin' awesome nap, too.

She might have slept there so she could save up her energy for sleeping with people later that evening (people!? Yeah. people. Plural. Meredith Grey is the first person who might have called herself a whore, even if she'd never let other people call her that to her face. She has some standards, even if she'd jokingly say she's a slut and know she's not really being all that wrong).

"You can't sleep here," a voice deadpans.

But Meredith Grey, at 21, can't keep sleeping right freaking' here in the Dartmouth University Library in some high-key-bullshit Hanover because someone keeps waking her.

"You can't sleep here," a voice deadpans again.

And she's sort of upset about that until she looks up and she realizes she couldn't be at all more pleased…

"You can't sleep here," a voice deadpans for the third time.

This time, Meredith Grey acknowledges the super hot and tall and leggy and fabulous redheaded woman saying this to her sternly and she's as wide awake as she's ever been in her entire life.

"Sorry," Meredith mumbles, her head still resting on her pillow-erm-textbook.

"You don't have to apologize to me. I'm not working here. I just don't want you to get in trouble," says the voice. The very low and gravelly voice. The voice that makes Meredith's knees shake which she tries to hide under the table.

"Oh," says Meredith, suddenly confused as to why this enigmatic voice is now talking to her.

"They're really strict here about it. I've only been here for a month and I've been yelled at six times," says the voice. The very lusty voice. Which Meredith doesn't fail to notice (ever!).

"Wait, a month? It's November. Why are you only here in November?" Says Meredith.

"I'm on an exchange," the voice- well, the person with the nice voice- shrugs.

"Where are you from?" Meredith asks her.

"Connecticut," says the hot girl.

"Are you on an exchange from the University of Mansfield?" Asks Meredith.

"Oh, no. I go to Yale. I'm just here on exchange," says the person who is apparently from Connecticut but doesn't go to school in Connecticut.

"Why?" Meredith asks her, then realizes it's lame, then she can't take it back because the person starts answering her lame question.

"Because my brother goes there. And I didn't want to follow him. Because he's older and he never lets me forget that," says the woman who apparently is not an only-child like Meredith.

"I don't have any siblings," says Meredith. Then she realizes this is probably dismissive then she continues to cover herself up... "I get why you'd wanna go somewhere else though. So you can be the 'nice girl from somewhere else,' that's why I'm here at least. I'm following in my mother's shadow, so I'm running away from it. Or her. Or them?" Says Meredith with a quirk of her eyebrow at herself.

"Who's your mother?" The voice-person asks her and then takes it back.

"Who's your brother?" Meredith challenges her and the person backs down immediately.

"Are you gonna tell me about the six times you got yelled at in a library or are you not?" Meredith switches the subject.

"Are you gonna tell me why you're sleeping on Gray's Anatomy?" Asks the woman, pointing to her stupidly-expensive pillow/textbook.

"Depends," says Meredith.

"On what?" Says the pretty girl.

"On… A lot of things…" Meredith says cryptically.

"What? A lot of things?" Says the unknown person.

"Yeah, like don't you want to live your life not wishing you 'should have… a lot of things?' But that you didn't?" Says Meredith.

Meredith knows she's won when the woman drops her stern-looking facade and meets her own bright-blue eyes with her bright-green ones.

"Maybe?" She replies.

"Trust me. You wanna be a person who does and says 'a lot of things,' instead of regretting them," says Meredith.

"Trust you? Ha! I just met you!" Says the person who has really really really red lipstick Meredith just notices.

"Isn't College about learning a whole new lot of things?" Says Meredith, smirking without even taking her head off of her Gray's Anatomy.

"So you wanna teach me 'a whole lot of things,' and you're what? 23?" The mystery woman guesses.

"21. And a half. And besides, you look like you'd be the best sort of student," Meredith insinuates roughly because she doesn't reserve her flirtations for only the bar.

"You know I'm a TA right?" Says the random person who seems to be seductively biting her lips at her right now. She looks tempted. And that's more than enough for Meredith Grey to keep talking to her just like this.

"In what?" Asks Meredith sickly-sweetly.

"Biology," the person deadpans. "I want to research genetics," she says proudly.

"I can teach you about human anatomy," Meredith says with a very crooked smile.

"As you sleep on your Henry Gray textbook?" The person quips back with her own crooked smile that Meredith matches easily.

"What if I'd already memorized it?" Says Meredith boldly.

"Ha! You looked completely panicked ten minutes ago!" Says the person who now thinks that she's got the upper hand.

"Ha! You've been watching me since way longer than ten minutes ago!" Meredith smirks easily.

"You were falling asleep in a library and I just wanted to warn you about the bitter librarians. I was doing a public service announcement," says the woman who is clearly not new at all this.

"What do you care about me? You should hate me! I'm your rival university you know!" Says Meredith.

"I don't hate you," says the person who looks like she could actually like her more than she currently pretends to.

"You wanna show me just how much?" Meredith says forewardly.

"You do look like you could use a hand with that Chemistry lesson," says the person, now flirtatiously.

"Who are you?" Meredith finally questions.

"Dr. Montgomery," says the fiery-headed-woman.

"Are you already a Doctor?" Meredith smirks.

"Almost," says the Almost-Doctor Montgomery.

"I'm gonna be a doctor someday too," says Meredith, as she reaches out without moving up from her chair to feel the other woman's black fur coat.

"Are you now?" Says 'Dr. Montgomery.'

"Yeah-huh," says Meredith.

"Who are you then?" Maybe-soon-to-be-Dr. Montgomery asks her.

"If I tell you that I'm never going to sleep with you ever," Meredith deadpans.

"Never mind then," says the very attractive not-quite-a-doctor.

"That's what I thought," says Meredith with a sly grin.

"Do you wanna get out of here then or what, or I don't know?" Says Meredith's new hookup already secured for the night.

"I don't know. You say that librarians yell when people sleep on the tables. Do they care what they do in the pravate study rooms?" Meredith says evily.

"WE'RE NOT GOING TO DO IT IN A STUDY ROOM!?" Says the woman with a look of shock, alarm, and also interest (that she's trying rather unsuccessfully to hide from this stranger).

Meredith raises one eyebrow up and down with a glint in her eye as she moves for the first time since meeting Miss Montgomery as she leans into her ear to whisper:

"Shh. You can't be yelling here about shit like that. We're in a library you know…" Before pulling away before the woman can react or reply.

"B-but-?" The lady Montgomery stutters and tries to regain her composure but she's all but lost this whole battle and war.

"It's okay. If you don't wanna screw in public I get that. You can just take me home with you if it would help you sleep better at night," Meredith snarks as she shrugs her shoulders.

A billion emotions play across Montgomery's face as she studies Meredith's proposition and self-invitation in her mind over and over again in ten seconds.

"Are you ever going to tell me what your name is?" Asks the biology college TA, not from Hanover.

"As I said, not if you wanna be fucking me," says Meredith easily.

"Fine. But I'm calling you 'Gray,' because that's what your textbook says," says Montgomery.

Meredith laughs internally at the obvious irony of this person calling her by a homonym of her own name unknowingly but she doesn't show it so she doesn't give that away. Instead, she just turns up her Meredith-charm and dials it up to the maximum. She knows she's getting laid tonight. And she wants this girl to know that as well (not that she doesn't, but she wants to insist on it. Meredith likes to be persistent).

"You can call me whatever you want while you're screaming it out from the rooftops," says Meredith with a smug expression that the woman can't place right now.

"We're not doing it on my roof, either, I have neighbors," the lady deadpans.

"Oh, they're going to hear you scream out either way," says Meredith who is surprisingly confident at 21 about her abilities (being promiscuous can do that, she guesses).

"I am going to regret this in the morning?" The woman starts to state but then her voice perks upwards in a question.

"Not as much as you'll regret not doing this. I have a reputation around here. You're not my only option Montgomery. So take or leave it. Or leave me to my nap," Meredith says tauntingly.

Addison Montgomery considers her options for a moment, and then she finally smiles and places her hand on this so-far-nameless woman's shoulder. "I'm driving. We're leaving. Pack up all this stuff," she says as she licks her lips once more and swallows hard. She knows she's destined to do great things in her lifetime.

And this pretty blonde woman is most definitely one of them. Or at least, Addison will go to the grave convincing herself that. She doesn't want to have any regrets about her time on this brief inter-university exchange. Besides, it's Bizzy and The Captain's money anyway.

And now, with this probably wonderful girl, she's going to beat her brother, Archer, for who's gotten the greatest lay in an instant.

This was the alternate summary, but it has spoilers. So I'm showing it last.

In which Meredith Grey is still in undergrad, and Addison Montgomery is not her TA- but she is a Dartmouth University visiting college TA (because she's smart). And of course, Meredith Grey totally likes that- the TA part- (a whole lot!). OR: They already met in Hanover, before Derek, and before Mark.

Did you catch my parodies to two other classic MerAdd work summaries in my work summary? If so, please share the meddison love and tell me how clever you are in the comments :D.

***** END OF CHAPTER 1

Read the rest here, on Ao3:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/25033117/chapters/60623164

Thanks, from bobbiejelly !

See you in the comments :D

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clansayeed · 4 years

Text

Bound by Circumstance ― Chapter 17: The Show Must Go On

PAIRING: Nik Ryder x trans*M!MC (Taylor Hunter) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Circumstance ⥽

Taylor Hunter (MC) has made it good for himself in New Orleans; turns out moving to a new city fresh out of college to reinvent yourself isn’t as hard as people make it out to be. Things only start to get confusing when he finds himself the target of a malevolent wraith. Good thing someone’s looking out for him though — because without Nighthunter Nik Ryder as his bodyguard he definitely won’t survive long in the twisting darkness of the supernatural underworld he’s tripped into.

Bound by Circumstance and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the book Nightbound and the rest of the Bloodbound series. Find out more [HERE].

Note: Circumstance only loosely follows the events and plotline of Nightbound, and features a separate antagonist, different character motivations, and further worldbuilding.

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Circumstance/series tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

Because tomorrow is no longer guaranteed the gang decides to spend a night at the theatre. In which Cal despises Shakespeare, Garrus and Krom go on an unofficial first date, and Taylor confronts his father.

[READ IT ON AO3]

He’s honestly surprised the director even bothers reaching out to him.

“Given everything your cousin has told me about the problems you have going on right now, I’m sure this isn’t really a surprise. I’ve taken the liberty of filing a personal leave of absence for you.” And Taylor just knows that was the happiest day of Antoni’s life…

“Even though you can’t be in the show, though, you’re still welcome to come Sunday. Hoping that, obviously, things have cleared up on your end by then. Just text me your head count before noon day-of, okay?”

It’s the first real and true good thing to happen without immediate consequence so far. And of course he tries to blow it off, tries to tell everyone he has absolutely no plans to put anyone else at risk just for the selfish sake of seeing a play he’s worked on for months and doesn’t even get to be in.

Not that anyone lets him finish before they straight-up tell him he’s wrong, he’s going, and if all hell breaks loose then they’ll deal with it when it happens.

“But the wards —”

“The wards have proven themselves useless,” Garrus interrupts with no small level of frustration; accepting the vulnerability of his sanctuary hasn’t been easy on the man, “we’re just as exposed here as you would be there. And I refuse to cower in fear. If they were going to attack they would have by now — don’t stop living your life because of what might happen.”

Surprisingly, too, Katherine makes a good point; “We might actually be safer surrounded by all those mundanes. A high fatality rate isn’t what the Elders are after, that much is certain.”

It’s about the only thing any of them are certain of.

So there’s really no way around it.

Sunday morning he tries to take a head count. Doesn’t argue when Vera, despite the dark circles of exhaustion under her eyes, insists that of course she wants to come. She doesn’t say it but its obvious she could use time away from the hospital and her mother’s bedside.

Nik’s phone vibrates on the table and Taylor glances just because he’s nearby. On really good timing the man chooses then to wander out from the bedroom — rubbing his hair vigorously with his towel.

“Kathy said she and Cade are down if we don’t mind.” One look and Taylor regrets it so bad. He’s not certain, but there’s absolutely no way all of his shirts have miraculously shrunk, right?

He totally has to buy them just shy of too tight.

Not that Taylor’s complaining. Nope. No complaining here.

Ryder gives a noncommittal grunt and shrug as he passes. “Your shindig, your choice.”

“I mean they’re our friends, so…”

There’s a pause; a lag in the matrix if you will, between when Nik stops in front of the fridge and actually opens it. Keeps his back turned as he replies, “Then the more the merrier.”

He doesn’t need to be part fae to know what that’s about — but it doesn’t hurt.

The concept of friends is plural and consistent. And just as weird for him as it is for the loner Nik is accustomed to being.

Yesterday was hard and heavy.

Today is no better from a cosmic point of view.

But its softer around the edges; the difference between being stabbed with a wicked sharp dagger and being punched in the face.

Nik all but flops down on the couch beside him; pushes the open guide on reading and interpreting tarot that Taylor’s been pouring over away with a socked foot.

“I was reading that.”

“Oops.” The only unapologetic apology he’s getting, too, so he takes it.

Its been nearly twenty-four hours since his emotional breakdown and in that time he’s learned more about Ryder — and vice versa — than would have been shared on five, six dates tops. Things that wouldn’t come up without specific and out-of-left-field context, too.

Like the fact that Nik is a cheap-ass (this he knew) who has a serious case of the moonlight munchies — two things that mix about as well as oil and water. So it makes sense now why half of the fridge’s sparse contents are signature drink and cocktail add-ons.

Does it justify the fact that a fully grown man is sitting very close to him popping green olives like pieces of candy? Not in the fucking slightest.

But he knows what’s going to happen the second Nik sees his disgust — tries his best to turn away before he’s caught. Only he’s not quick enough and its too late.

“Want one?” Nik asks even though he knows the answer.

He doesn’t have time to deflect because the man picks one up and tosses it — doubles over in laughter when it bounces off Taylor’s cheek, falls to the floor, and rolls under the nearest chair to die alone.

“What are you,” he fake-gags and wipes his cheek angrily, “twelve years old?”

His glare very nearly breaks under the sheer audacity of Ryder’s pouting face. Only nearly because there’s no fucking way he’s kissing that offensive mouth no matter how closely the man leans in. “Aw c’mon Rook — jus’ one kiss!”

“Get away from me! Ew!”

“You know you like me~”

“Wrong! Incorrect! You disgust me!”

And of course they’re joking but he’s maybe a little too loud in his protests. Earns himself a haughty snort and a glare directed at his feet of all things.

“You walk around barefoot and I’m the disgusting one.”

“That’s what I said.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Uh, I do — so I win.”

Despite the fact that they had spent the previous hours getting to know not only (truly repulsive) snacking habits but also (much less repulsive, like the opposite of repulsive actually) one another’s mouths, Nik follows the same pattern each time. Roams his eyes over every inch of Taylor’s face like he’s gung-ho on taking the test in his sleep — drags a fingernail feather-light over the scruff on his jawline.

Their first time hadn’t been enough to ward him away and for that Taylor’s pretty fucking grateful. But it left a mark on him. No doubt its the reason why he always takes five whole agonizing seconds between the start and the follow-through.

Like he’s giving Taylor time to pull back; to reject him without consequence.

Maybe one day they’ll laugh about it. A silly habit no longer necessary. Because there’s always a breath hidden in the meeting of mouths that tastes of bitter relief.

Nik is relieved — not once, or twice, but every single time.

Which is more than a little tragic when he gives it a deep thought. He tries not to — really, he does.

Its easy not to think about anything at all when they’re kissing.

So that’s something.

Taylor knows that glamours serve a specific purpose; to disguise the average not-human supernatural person among the average yes-human person.

He’s even come to terms with how easily they fade into the background now. How he can scan a crowd and catch a glimpse of hooves in place of boots or a tail whipping its way behind someone trying to pass by. He considers his largest achievement to be not jumping ten feet in the air at the difficult-to-describe sight of ghosts possessing glamoured bodies.

But he can know and process all of these things and still be almost alarmingly paranoid about the trio of Krom, Garrus, and Ivy waiting in line behind them, right?

Nik grabs his head before he can look back for the umpteenth time; turns it back forward with a grunt. “The only one looking weird here is you, Rook. Everyone else sees regular folk.”

And he knows that, he does. But… “Do you ever stop worrying about it, like, slipping or something?”

“Not my problem if it does.”

“Well yeah, but…” The line shuffles forward and he trails off. Probably better not to give those particular anxieties a life of their own by voicing them aloud.

He doesn’t have to anyway, apparently. Since Taylor finds himself pulled against Nik’s side, feels warm breath tickle in his ear.

“Don’t worry. You still look completely human.”

“For now.”

The performer playing Puck stands in half-costume at the front of the line with a clipboard in hand. He has a whole two-point-five seconds to remember her name — Dana? Debbie? D-something. D-something… fuck there are too many D-something names! — before its their turn to enter the theatre.

Daphne! It comes to him like a holy revelation as she starts to go through the motions — only to notice the name and double-take in surprise.

“Hey Hunter, how’s it going?” Her small-talk is strained but polite. They’ve run lines together and he can vaguely recall being educated on her literal herd of mini dachshunds once, but whatever his ‘cousins’ gave by way of excuse for him pulling out of the show is enough to make her sheepish.

He makes a mental note to corner Garrus for the full story after the show. Especially since ‘cousin’ is a more-or-less accurate term these days.

“Uh, you know,” a one-shouldered shrug, “hanging in there. You excited?”

To her credit as an actress she checks off each body accompanying him, all eight of them, without batting an eye.

“Totally. I’m just glad the actual opening night ain’t until Mardi Gras is over, you know?”

“Director didn’t let you work the beads into your improv then I take it?”

They share a laugh. She waves them inside.

Only when they’re around a corner does Taylor let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.

Vera gives him a nudge. “You okay?”

“Yeah — was it just me or was that…”

Cal pokes his head in between them. “Awkward as hell? No—it wasn’t just you.”

“Cool. Thanks.”

In less than a week he’s forgotten how to, well, be human. Socialize with humans, talk casually with humans. Its unnerving — not only that but it serves to remind him by the way the Coven and their pet skeleton assassin are still out there.

None of this is even close to being over and he’s already forgotten small talk?

What else might be lost along the way?

“You look like you’re thinkin’ too much about something.”

Taylor’s smile is strained and not enough to ease Nik’s doubts. What did he expect though; that one soulful look from those fathomless eyes, or a touch that sends shivers down his spine, or one of those disarmingly sincere smiles is all it would take to make him forget his worries completely?

If only it were that simple. Not that he’s turning any of those things down — no no, he’s free to keep trying as many times as he’d like.

Its a half-full house on purpose; one full run in front of a crowd before a week of changes to make the final thing as smooth as possible.

And it was supposed to be Taylor’s time to shine; a performance of understudies. He’s told himself there will be other opportunities, that this is for the best given what’s going on. He wanted to come to support his fellow actors — to celebrate in all the work they’ve done over the last few months.

He didn’t think it would be that hard to watch. Then the space goes dark and silence falls in a warm velveteen hush.

The trio of Theseus, Hippolyta, and Philostrate take the stage — a different blocking than what they used at his last rehearsal.

The heels of his palms are pressed hard to stop his tears before Theseus even opens his mouth.

To his left Vera lets out a soft noise; both sad and comforting as her tentative hand on his shoulder turns into slow circular motions on his back. And he knows the heat-leeching palm behind him is Cal. Cal didn’t even want to come — had made it very clear there was once a school play, a bad batch of cafeteria vegetables, and a lifelong aversion to Shakespeare whose details would never again see the light of day. But there he is giving comfort where he can. He’s probably glad for something else to focus on than the stage but he knows Cal by now — knows he does nothing without meaning to do it.

Just when Taylor’s sure he’s going to have to make a mad dash for the doors, however, a familiar hand slides into his. Nik’s focus is still intent on the scene unfolding but he squeezes his fingers and doesn’t seem to care about the tears between their palms.

He’s supposed to be up on that stage. He’s supposed to be sweating under the heat of the lights and praying to the thespian gods that the tape on his mic holds fast. He’s supposed to be giving the performance of his life to an audience of friends and loved ones knowing Kristin was back in New York, that his mother couldn’t make it, and that there was no one watching that was there just for him.

Instead he’s here in the crowd. Instead he’s surrounded by friendship’s concern and holding the hand of the guy who seems to be making it a habit of standing in between him and certain death.

Instead he’s exactly where he’s supposed to be.

When the lights slide back on for intermission Cadence whirls around in his seat, arm thrown over the back, to practically barrage Krom with questions about artistic representation, choices made and things changed.

It feels a little bit like being back in a college classroom. Not the first time Cade has that effect on people.

“I — I really only helped with small stuff,” the stone troll stammers his protests, “heavy lifting or working on things normal people couldn’t reach.”

“But you’re a writer are you not?”

“An amateur at best…”

But the vampire isn’t having it. “Nonsense, I’ve caught snippets of your work. I only mean —”

“Ugh, just humor the man will you?” Katherine groans, rolls her head back on her own seat with a lighthearted glare between the two.

Nik pulls Taylor’s attention away from their talk with an arm around his shoulder. “How’s it so far? On the other side of the stage.”

“They changed a few things —” — more than a few, and more to do with Oberon than any other character so three guesses who made that call — “— but I honestly just keep counting their steps for the blocking.”

“Nerd,” scoffs the man, and Taylor isn’t exactly going to deny it.

Actually, since they have a second…

Last he knew, being borderline psychic was his thing, not Ryder’s. But Nik’s moved his legs before Taylor even stands and makes him backtrack real quick on that.

“I figured you’d wanna go say hey to them, or whatever,” and though that’s the spoken explanation Taylor can’t stop himself from feeling the real intention behind it.

He just cares.

He ducks his head to hide a flushed smile; murmurs “thanks” and lets his lips linger at the corner of Nik’s mouth as he shimmies into the aisle.

Only when he’s at the door does it occur to him that this thing between them is a recent one, and they’ve not mentioned things like public affection. But judging by the look he throws over his shoulder — catches Ivy hitting the man on the arm repeatedly and the bewildered grin on her undead face?

Its just another thing to tease him over.

Its standard stuff; the small lines by the bathrooms, crew members in their all-black ensembles bustling this and that around. All things he’s familiar with — that he doesn’t bat an eye at.

Then he spares a glance — less than that, actually, calling it a glance is somehow generous — down one of the hallways leading to further seating. The lights are off, the doors no doubt locked. Makes sense for an audience this size.

He doesn’t know why he does. Only knows both suddenly and all at once who he’ll see in the shadows beyond.

Taylor wants so badly to just ignore it. To reach out and knock on the doors to the maze of back rooms and do exactly what he planned on; congratulating his fellow performers.

But he doesn’t.

By now Taylor’s helped Garrus enough in the bottomless pit he calls a storage room to know that fae folk don’t ‘glow.’ They just always look like they do.

Elric, too, looks like he snatched a few moonbeams for himself on his way inside.

The shadows don’t retreat from him but they are withered by his presence; by the aura of him. Had he looked like that in Lamrian, as natural as light itself? Or was he witnessing yet another new facet to his senses brought on by interference of the man who really shouldn’t be here.

When Taylor opens his mouth to speak nothing comes out; a dozen questions all fighting to leap from the tip of his tongue and giving him pause.

Finally he settles on something more akin to an accusation.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

He doesn’t mean to wound the fae Lord — but also won’t deny that the recoil of remorse he gets in response isn’t a teeny bit satisfying.

“No, I should not.”

“Glad we agree.” Of course he wants to ask why are you here but he shouldn’t have to.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t. “I caught whispers of this event within your mind. Lines from a script, a dedication — a pride. I wished to see what it truly was. Living Memories are shaped by the person to whom the memories belong.”

And here he had thought he’d be spared of a headache tonight, of all nights.

“I — what I — there’s so much to unpack there,” and nothing amused in his dry laugh either, “so we’ll start with the fact that I didn’t do a—a Living Memory-thing. I don’t even know how.”

“To accept Memories is to offer up your own.”

“Gee, that would have been nice to know.”

“Do not blame yourself —”

“Oh, I’m not. No worries there.”

“I should have explained it to you. Not then; not in such dire times.”

“Then when?”

“Long before now.” Elric’s eyes are like diamonds; diamonds twisted into sharp, construction-grade drills trying to puncture holes straight through him. The intensity is unnerving if he’s being honest.

About as unnerving as getting what he’s pretty sure is a ‘More Proactive Parent’ apology from this guy he literally just met the other night. Not even a guy — a fae.

Elric reaches out as if to touch his hand. The movement is enough — breaks Taylor from his little trance so he can pull back. Pale fingers instead close around air and grieve their mistake.

“I did not like the way things were left in Lamrian, Taylor.”

Taylor — like he has any right to say the name he chose all on his own.

“That’s your problem. But yeah, I can see how refusing to help your own son to save yourself might leave a bad taste in your mouth.”

It’s a very nice burn, high five kind of moment right up until the shadows creep up onto the fae’s expression. “I have the safety of an entire community to put first. Forgive me for prioritizing my life’s work and the many lives under my care over the child who only seems to acknowledge our connection when it suits his insults.”

Damn… nice burn… high five…

“Are you, Taylor?”

He swallows the lump in his throat. “Am I what?”

“Are you acknowledging me as your…?” He leaves it hanging there, juicy bait in murky waters. And Taylor isn’t starving — not quite yet — but he’s definitely not full either.

He glances back to the theatre atrium.

The background noise is quieter down here but soon enough everyone will be heading back to their seats. No doubt the curtain won’t even be fully opened before Nik is bounding out the doors to find him.

“Look, Lord Elric…”

Who acts like the title brings him pain; “Please, call me —”

“— I’m not calling you Dad; or Pop, Father, or any variation thereof —”

“If you would listen as often as you speak. I would ask you to call me Elric.”

Even that feels like a boundary they shouldn’t cross. What good is to come of being friendly, getting to know one another — especially when he’s facing the very likely chance of being dead by Tuesday?

On the other hand, whispers a voice in the back of his head, what’s the harm in getting to know your actual father — especially facing the very likely chance of being dead by Tuesday?

First, how rude can you be? Second, nobody asked you, rude little voice.

But after several dragging moments of internal arguing the voice ends up winning. Still rude though.

“What do you want out of this, Elric? What did you hope to gain from coming here?”

He looks almost affronted. “I wished to… connect with you. You are… my child. A miracle I had not even believed let alone known of.”

My child. Two simple words that ring in his ears unpleasantly.

“My plate’s full enough. I don’t know if I have room for ‘connecting.’”

“Would it not be worth trying?”

Taylor throws his hands up in exasperation. “Maybe! Fuck — maybe… maybe if I wasn’t so scared of dying. Or if I thought I had the time. But whatever the Coven Elders are planning it’s —”

Elric’s eyes widen, but that isn’t what cuts him off. Every hair on his body stands up at the same time. Without a chill, without a touch. It’s a feeling; powerful and consuming and coming from the fae Lord.

“Oh right,” because Elric refused to help and they’d gone to the Elders and that was that, “you don’t know. Yeah, the Coven’s the one who summoned the wraith. It’s a whole thing — I don’t have the time to go into it and I kinda don’t even want to because tonight was supposed to be one last attempt at normal but joke’s on me I guess.”

“You will make the time.”

He’d consider going at him for trying to use what he probably thinks is a tone of fatherly authority on Taylor — if it wasn’t so strikingly familiar. Commanding the wisdom and strength of his years both gone and yet to come. It demands respect, to be heard and the weight of every word understood.

Its the Elric he’d met for the first time in the Beau-Keyes Garden, and its kind of a relief.

Would have been useful yesterday, though.

He sums the encounter up as best he can; keeps throwing looks back over his shoulder as a sort of passive-aggressive-meets-non-confrontational way of saying he’s being held up.

And yes, logically he should be happy Elric is changing his tune no matter the reason. But he’s petty and spiteful and hey, nobody’s perfect.

By the time Taylor finishes Elric is already deep in thought — strings of thought becoming ropes, knots; an intricate web displayed across his entire person with just a look.

Another one of those looks he’s seen in the mirror, actually.

But they’re just thoughts. Not actions. He doesn’t need to be a little psychic to know that.

“No doubt my breath would be a wasted one were I to ask you to return to Lamrian with me.”

Elric means well — but that doesn’t make it any better.

“What, like — leave my friends behind to die and abandon the entire community that doesn’t even know what’s coming for it?”

He doesn’t say anything; doesn’t have to. “And—And what would I do,” continues Taylor, “just hang out with you and your wife, maybe do something productive like learn the pan flute or whatever?”

“This is not a matter to make light of.”

“You’re damn right it isn’t!” Fuck it, he’s shouting and doesn’t care who hears now. “I can’t believe you. Cowering in safety alone is one thing but to try and drag me down with you? That’s messed up; you’re messed up.”

“You do not know of what you speak — of the centuries our kind spend trying to conceive.”

“I’m not one of you.”

“You are, denying it hurts only yourself. By all accounts you are a miracle, Taylor. But children among the fair folk are few and far between. So for you to stand there — to twist my words as though they mean nothing…”

It’s a little hard to keep his composure when Elric’s voice cracks. It doesn’t make any of it okay — not by a long shot — but there’s a wrongness to that tone normally even and cultured sounding choked with emotion.

He even tries to swallow it down. It doesn’t work. “I have seen the cost of bravery. And to see you so passionate — so determined to fight this battle that I am certain was never meant to be yours. It ensnares me in a way you cannot yet understand. Pride overtakes me, yet I am made immobile.

“I have seen enough in my life to know when fighting is parallel to dying. No matter how brief the battle or noble the purpose there are some forces that cannot be overcome.”

He takes Taylor’s hand. Clammy and cold and he tries to hide it but Taylor knows the effects of a panic attack from personal experience that no matter how refined the otherworldly creature is you can’t always hide the tremors in your fingertips.

Like before he feels a tug in his gut. Something hooking into his center of gravity and puling him, or his essence, closer.

Hears the fae clear in his mind; terrified, heartbroken, too much.

I could not bear the sight of you among the casualties. Do not ask it of me. I beg of you.

Over-thinking about the heartbreak in every word, about the things he can’t possibly understand that allow Elric to feel so much and so hard for a person he doesn’t know — it’s not a luxury Taylor can afford right now. And not just because the emotional depth it requires might very well bring him to tears again.

So he squeezes that pale grip tight, the only solidarity he allows himself to muster, then lets go.

“I can’t.”

“Taylor —”

“No, really Elric, I can’t.” He steps back; creates distance between them both physically and on a deeper level. “I wasn’t supposed to be a part of this — I wasn’t. I’m only being targeted because of you; because I’m your son. You know what the Elders called me? They called me an ‘unseen complication.’ And up until right now it’s really bugged me. By all accounts I’ve not made anything complicated except for the lives of my friends.

“But maybe I’m not done yet, you know? Maybe there’s more for me to do. Probably not, let’s be real, but I have to try. Nik— Nik is trying, and he’s never done that before. Kathy and Cade don’t have any stake in this but they keep trying because they’re good people. Cal wants to make this city safer for his brother and Vera… she could have run back to New York at any time but she hasn’t.

“I’m not gonna stand here and say I fully understand what’s going on. But that doesn’t mean I should cut and run. I think its because I don’t know jack-shit that I can do the most good. Or, you know, at least try to.”

He falters at the end; never one to finish strongly in situations like these. Would he like for Elric to stay, to try like the rest and do some good — of course.

But any part of him left hesitant about his involvement is gone now. So he can thank the fae for that at the very least.

Wow, is this what emotional growth feels like? That warm feeling in his chest spreading out to the tips of his fingers and toes, the pride in his actions, the sense of accomplishment however small?

Kristin is going to be so proud of him when she wakes up.

He doesn’t realize he’s waiting for Elric to respond until he inhales deeply. Looks Taylor over with those same eyes somehow changed. Like he’s really seeing him for the first time.

“You are brave — braver than most.”

“No I’m really not. But I’m scared enough to want to do something about it.”

“Very well. Whatever you wish to call it… the quality is an admirable one.”

“You should try it out sometime.”

“Perhaps you can show me how, one day.” But not this day.

That’s it then. The arguing, the impassioned speeches, all of it and Elric still plans on hiding.

Fine. He’s done trying to make the man see reason.

“I’m gonna get back to the show — my company’s worked hard for this and even though I’m not up there, I deserve the chance to see it through.”

Just as resigned as he had been in Lamrian, Elric closes himself off when he tucks his clasped hands in his sleeves. Beautiful embroidery becoming his wall against the world.

Against the terrible things about to happen.

“You will find no time has passed,” he says to Taylor’s surprise, “I had hoped you would return with me. The chance to say farewell to your companions was the least I could offer.”

Implications aside… “Thanks, I guess. I’ll see you around, Elric.”

“Nothing would bring me greater joy.”

He’s halfway down the hall when a definite something comes over him. Is there such a thing as too much emotional growth? It tastes a little bit like he’s downed a shot of vinegar.

It makes him turn back; it knows the other man is still there — watching.

“You risked your life coming here — in person.”

Elric nods. “Yes.”

“All the things you’re staying out of the fight for; your people, Thalissa — if the bloodwraith showed up…”

“I knew the risk.”

“But it’s temporary, so that makes it okay.”

“What it does it make it a risk worth taking.”

“There it is then…” and Taylor almost can’t believe he’s saying this, but — “Come on, there’s a few empty seats in front of us. You can take one of those.”

Maybe he’s spent enough time in the fae’s presence now to understand and see every emotion he expresses. Small flickers and ticks in facial features — and that’s being generous.

Confusion. Contemplation. Understanding. Surprise.

And more than a little heartbreak.

“The longer I stay here the greater the chance of discovery by the creature.”

“Yeah, well you’ve been here a pretty long time already. What’s an extra hour or two?”

“The difference between life and death.”

“A fair point. Counter— you wanted to spend time together, Pop.” He pops his lips on the word. And funnily enough that seems to be what does the job.

There was no reason to doubt Elric’s truthfulness but he’s still relieved when they walk back into the theatre and the curtains are still drawn.

It would be helpful if someone turned around to see them; if they warned the others. But unfortunately (for Garrus) it’s a complete surprise when they greet his return… with company.

“Look who I found at the concession stand.” Taylor throws his arm around Elric’s shoulder and squeezes for the humor of it. Shit he probably should have asked if the man had a glamour.

Well, no one’s staring or screaming yet, so probably a good sign.

The general aura of confusion is broken by Garrus who, impossibly enough, looks more pale than usual. Beside him Krom is halfway reaching out; as if to shield his unspoken crush from Elric’s unseen wrath.

“Hey there, Rook,” Nik’s look of ‘what the literal?’ doesn’t stray from the fae’s ethereal glow, “thought you were goin’ backstage.”

Because this was his fault? “Oh, I was. But then I got to thinking — it’s a friends and family viewing so, you know, why not call my estranged father Elrond?”

“Elric.”

Sigh. “I know. It’s a joke.”

Elric nods. “Ah, I see.” No he doesn’t, but that’s not the point. Actually that he doesn’t is what makes it a little bit funnier.

But Taylor realizes quickly that he’s made a mistake in just assuming this would be okay. Garrus has never been quiet for this long and it makes everyone a little on edge. What happens when the man who always has something to say falls silent?

“You look well, Gallus.”

Garrus flinches violently at the name; at Elric’s attempt to cut through the tension. “That isn’t my name and you know it.”

“It was once.”

“Not anymore.” Garrus looks to Krom in surprise. Its the most intimidating the gentle giant has ever sounded. Though rage literally flickers as flames in Ivy’s cursed eyes she manages to look at him with pride.

It seems Taylor isn’t the only one who’s grown as a person tonight, though. As the discomfort rises to an almost stifling level the Lord bows his head, speaks somber and its enough to make everyone take a breath.

“I wish not to intrude on your time, Garrus,” Garrus who reaches absently for something to ground him and finds it in Krom’s hand clasping his, “only to take what precious moments my child allows me to possess.”

Way to push the blame on Taylor.

Taylor who struggles for something to say; an apology, a get out of here, anything. “I didn’t — I mean I — Garrus if —”

He raises a hand and Taylor’s glad for the opportunity to bite his tongue. Finds relief in the fact that Garrus still manages a smile his way.

“You couldn’t know. And it doesn’t bother me, honestly —” — especially not when he has Krom’s hand to squeeze where the seats separate their thighs — “— as long as my old landlord respects his boundaries, and doesn’t have an ulterior motive.”

“I do not.”

“Pinky swear?”

Elric doesn’t understand and it shows; some kind of power move Garrus relishes in by grinning at the laughter that ripples through them and breaks the tension.

The room grows dark as the company prepares to resume. Taylor awkwardly (and if he’s honest, uncomfortably) ushers Elric into the seat parallel to his a row forward. Close enough to count as ‘spending time together’ while also glad to be a buffer between his fae father and Garrus.

Velvet curtains pull apart with a flourish. Just before the cast begins Taylor manages to lean back and give a real apology to his friend.

“I’m so sorry, I should’ve asked first.” He whispers.

Garrus places a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Really, darling, no big deal here.”

“Promise?”

“Pinky.”

He can’t remember the last time he made any promises so important as pinky promises. But he and Garrus link little fingers and exchange small smiles just in time for Titania to begin her lines.

With a deep breath of courage and only after finding Nik’s hand in the dark he leans again, forward this time, and directs Elric’s attention to the performance.

“Okay, so quick recap. There are four lovers, right, Helena who loves Demetrius, who loves Hermia, who loves Lysander, but the thing is…”

#nightbound #choices nb #playchoices fanfiction #nik ryder x mc #nik ryder #katherine nightbound #cal lowell #vera reimonenq #oc: cadence smith #garrus #ivy #krom #nightbound mc #mc: taylor hunter #oblv: bound by circumstance #oblv: new chapter #; my fics

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rogertaylors-lipgloss · 5 years

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American Girl, the Formerly Untitled Ben Hardy x Reader Chapter 4

As I said in my post earlier, this is kind of a filler chapter to get us from point A to point B. Taglist is open, enjoy!

Masterlist

Word Count: 4.5k+

Warnings: Tooth-rotting fluff, irreverence for Uber drivers, Slight Dom, Godless Smut. 18+, y’all.

Two Months Later

Filming was well underway and although most of the major costuming decisions had been made, you still had plenty of work to do on set, constantly mending and adjusting the boys’ wardrobe pieces. Ben was particularly bad about popping buttons, but after the sixth loose button in a handful of days you had finally realized that he was doing it on purpose.

When he walked up to where you and your sewing kit were set-up clutching a shirt in one fist and a small, unseen object in the other. You smirked. “Let me guess, another button?” You held your hand out expectantly and Ben sheepishly handed over the small object. He caught your eyes and flashed you a grin, knowing you were a sucker for that award-winning smile. “You know Ben, the other boys can manage to make it through days of filming without having a wardrobe malfunction. I’m beginning to wonder if you might have some nefarious ulterior motives in constantly destroying that shirt.”

He clutched the shirt to his chest in mock outrage. “Moi? Why Y/N, you wound me!” You giggled as he stepped around the desk you were sitting at and swooped down to place a kiss on your ear. “I can’t help it if this shirt is just a bit too small for my rippling muscles.” You snorted, and he pinched your side in retaliation. He peppered small kisses along your cheek and slipped his arms around your shoulders as you quickly reattached the button to his shirt.

“There, all better!” You pull your head away from his greedy lips and he scoffed in protest. “Now, get back to set before Roger Taylor decides you’re more trouble than you’re worth!” He chuckles and turns to wink at you before walking back over to the cameras.

Later that day

You had already completed your work for the day, but the boys were hanging around waiting for Rami and Lucy to finish one of their scenes. The whole group was supposed to be going out for drinks and karaoke tonight, so you cleaned up your desk and made your way to join them in waiting. You stopped in front of one of the doors, taped to it was a sheet of paper that read, “The Band,” and underneath someone had scribbled in “plus Lucy,” “plus Allen,” and “plus Y/n.” It had been Joe’s dressing room, and not even a week into filming the boys had taken the couch out of Gwil’s and finagled it into the space. The two couches sat opposite each other, centered around a large television that Rami had mounted to the wall. Opening the door, you were instantly greeted by Ben, Gwilym, Joe, and Allen.

“Y/N!” They collectively shouted, Ben winking at you from his spot on one of the couches. Allen and Gwil are sitting across from him, and Joe’s plopped down in the ratty bean bag you had begged him not to get on one of your most recent thrifting adventures.

“Hey, guys. What are you watching?” The four of them had their eyes glued to the television screen in front of them.

“We’re watching Undrafted, Joe here’s bloody brilliant,” Allen answered with a giggle. You’d lived in the UK for a few years now, but his Irish accent still made the corners of your mouth pull up into a grin.

You step gingerly around Joe, whose long legs take up almost the entire space, and walk towards Ben, who pats the seat next to his. Smiling, you fall onto the couch next to him and turn your attention to the screen. Joe had forced you to watch it the first week you’d met him, and at this point you’d seen it at least ten times. His character, Pat, had just struck out and was screaming and stomping around the outfield. It was your favorite part and it never failed to make you laugh every time. Joe beamed up at you as you struggled to contain your laughter.

God, how Ben loved the sound of your laugh. You pulled your feet up onto the couch and perched your legs across Ben’s lap. As the group of you watched the movie, Ben couldn’t resist running his fingers up and down your jean-clad legs.

By the time the movie was winding to an end, Rami and Lucy finally finished filming for the day and made their way into the dressing room. “Y/N!” Lucy shrieked, and you jumped up off of the couch (Ben wincing as you accidentally grazed one of his balls with your foot) and ran over to greet her. Over the past several weeks you and Lucy had grown inseparable and any minute she didn’t spend on set she spent distracting you in the costume department. “Boys, we’ll see you all later! Y/N and I are going to get ready and we’ll meet you at the karaoke place in a couple hours.” Rami pecked Lucy’s cheek goodbye before moving to take your vacated seat next to Ben, who winked at you as you waved bye to everyone.

“Wait, did they say hours? As in plural?!” You heard Joe complaining as the door shut behind the two of you, who both chuckled at the zealous redhead.

“Come on, we’re going to get ready at my place!” Lucy grabbed your hand and pulled you away with her.

---

A little while later, you found yourself standing in front of Lucy’s bathroom mirror as you curled her short, platinum hair loosely around the hot wand in your hand. You spritzed her locks with a bit of saltwater spray before gently tousling them with your fingers. “Ta-da!”

“Wow,” she exclaimed. “Tell me again why you aren’t working for hair and makeup on set?”

You rolled your eyes and smiled at her in the mirror. “I’m glad you like it, Luce.”

You’d helped her pair together light-wash boyfriend jeans with a white Rolling Stones tee, the sleeves rolled up and the hem twisted and tied so that it rested just above her belly button and matched the color of her lipstick to the that of the lips on her tee. She had decided to finish off the look with her favorite pair of black creepers before whirling around on you. “Alright, Y/N, it’s your turn now!”

She ignored your groans and protests, pushing you into the bedroom where you’d left your bag of clothing options. After several minutes of digging, Lucy emerged with an army green tank top that covered your chest to the neck, although the way it clung to your every curve left little to the imagination. She tossed it at you, along with the shortest pair of denim shorts you owned. “Hold on!” She rushed back through the bathroom and into her own closet, returning with a pair of solid black suede ankle boots and a black felt hat. She couldn’t stop smiling as she perched the hat atop your head and finally declared you “absolutely perfect!”

“Not bad, Luce!” You admired yourself in the floor-length mirror she had leaned against the wall of her bedroom. “Not bad at all.”

She pressed a kiss to your cheek, forgetting all about her lipstick and leaving you with a red imprint on your face. “Oops! Let me get that!” She carefully dabbed the red smudge off without ruining your makeup underneath, then the two of you set off for the small, hole-in-the-wall karaoke bar that Gwilym had vouched for.

---

Ben sat at a large table with Joe, Rami, Gwilym, and Allen, knee bouncing underneath table as he looked to the door, anxious for your impending arrival. When you and Lucy finally did arrive, his breath hitched in his throat at the sight of you in that skimpy little top. His mouth was practically salivating as he thought of that same top in a crumpled mess on his bedroom floor. This was going to be a very long night, he thought.

Ben and Rami had left two empty seats between them for you and Lucy to slip into. Ben pressed a kiss to your cheek, murmuring, “You look incredible tonight, love.” You blushed and returned his kiss. Settling into the table, you turned to Joe.

“So Joe, how many times have you put your name on the list already?” You asked, unaware of Ben’s lustful eyes still on you.

Joe scoffed playfully. “Only five!” The table laughed at his response, except for Ben. You turned to look at him and recognized that all-too-familiar look in his eyes. As everyone else returned to their own conversations, Ben scooted his chair closer to yours and placed his hand on your bare thigh. You met his gaze and smirked before leaning in to whisper in his ear. “Are you feeling alright, Ben?”

“If I say no, does that mean we can leave sooner?” You shook your head and giggled when he groaned out loud. “What can I say to get you to meet me in the bathroom then?” Ben leaned in and his breath on your neck (as well as his words) sent your pulse racing. His fingers traced their way up your thigh, closer and closer to the hem of your shorts. As his index finger started toying with the edge of the denim, he looked up at you with those big blue eyes, hoping (read: knowing) you wouldn’t be able to resist. But unlike Ben, you were hyperaware of your surroundings.

You lightly swatted his hand, glancing around to make sure no one had noticed. “Ben!” You chastised him playfully and he smirked at you, leaning back in to whisper in your ear, “Fine, but the second we get in the car, I am ravishing you in every way I know how.”

You gave him a small kiss on the lips. “Couldn’t we at least make it back to your place first?”

“Hey, I can hear you guys!” Joe cried out, fake disgust riddling his facial features.

“Oi, mom and dad are having a grown-up conversation!” Ben quipped back, the table erupting with laughter.

The boys already had their drinks, so you leaned over to Lucy and asked what she wanted before you headed over to the bar, leaving a whining, needy Ben alone at the table.

There were quite a few people crowded into the karaoke bar that night, but you didn’t mind sliding onto a barstool and waiting patiently for the bartender to take your order. You noticed Ben’s gaze still on you, as if he were hunter and you were Bambi’s mom. He couldn’t help but admire your ass in those shorts, feeling his own pants grow tighter as he watched. When the bartender was finally able to free up her attention long enough to pour you and Lucy some shots of tequila, you took the small tray from her and nodded in thanks as you carefully headed back to the table.

While you’d been gone, Joe’s name was called and he had begun his rendition of “Bennie and the Jets.” Laughing as he overemphasized every Bennie with an airy squeal, you and Lucy clinked your glasses together before downing one, two, and three shots each. Ben was engaged in conversation with Gwilym and Allen, but his hands never left your thigh as you and Lucy giggled at one of Rami’s stories. The night continued on this way. You and Lucy eventually got up and sang “Woman” by Kesha, Ben and Joe sang none other than Queen’s “You’re My Best Friend,” earning jealous pouts from both Rami and Gwilym as Allen laughed. It was absolutely terrible and as much as you liked Ben, you cringed slightly when he echoed Joe singing “happy at home.” Gwilym had been surprised when you recognized a song that he’d chosen by the Irish-rock band, The Pogues, that he’d pulled you up on-stage with him as the two of you belted out “Fairytale of New York.” It was a beautiful train wreck, and all of the boys got up to sing “Bohemian Rhapsody” as the ultimate big finish. You and Lucy sat back and cackled as the other patrons raised their eyebrows at the five very tipsy boys tripping around onstage as they attempted to head bang to the guitar-heavy rock section of the famous song.

After exchanging goodbyes, you and Ben climbed into an Uber and made your way back to his apartment. In the dark of the backseat, Ben was silent with his lips pressed to your collarbone as his hands attempted to explore your body. The driver glanced in the rearview mirror and cleared his throat, turning up the music slightly, and you giggled as an embarrassed Ben halted his attempts. He held on to your hand, however, drawing circles on your palm with his index finger. When the car finally came to a stop, your feet had barely touched the pavement outside before you were being swept off of your feet.

“Ben!” You shrieked as he bolted up the sidewalk and through the front door of his townhouse. Once inside, your feet once again only touched the floor for a moment before Ben had you pushed up against the same door he had only just slammed closed.

“Have I told you how much I love that you get along with my friends?” He asked, his chest pushed up against your own. His question was rhetorical, but before you could answer anyway (like the smartass you are), his lips crashed into yours with bruising force. His hands wandered up and down your body, torn between squeezing your ass and groping your chest. Your own hands hung useless at your sides, unsure of how to reciprocate Ben’s attack on your senses.

From deeper in the apartment, Frankie came strutting out to see the commotion, barking as she made her way. Ben ignored the pup, his hand sliding up one of your thighs to lift your leg and wrap it around his waist. You murmured his name in a weak protest. He groaned in acknowledgment but continued sucking at your collarbone and grinding his hips eagerly against your center. Your eyes darkened, but you were quickly pulled right back out of the trance when Frankie finally found the two of you and began barking in earnest. Ben finally gave up when Frankie put her two front paws on the back of his legs.

Sulking, he set you back on your feet and turned to lift the pup into his arms. “Frankie, we’ve talked about this…” he muttered as he disappeared with her, presumably to let her out into the yard. While he was busy, you bolted for his bedroom. Your overnight bag sat on the floor, Lucy having had her assistant deliver it from her place to Ben’s while you’d all been out. You heard the sliding door open and Ben and Frankie shuffle outside, and you knew you didn’t have much time. Quickly, you unzipped the bag and dug around until your hands brushed against the lace fabric you’d been searching for. You pulled out the black lace bodysuit, a more affordable echo of the expensive garments you’d seen in the window of Agent Provocateur while shopping in London. Luckily, not long after that, you found a small boutique that carried much more reasonably-priced lingerie. You’d never really worn actual lingerie before, aside from a pretty matching bra and panty set. As you rid yourself of your karaoke clothes, you realized that this was entirely new territory. You dashed into the bathroom and made sure to wipe down the key areas that you knew had collected sweat throughout the night and ran a brush through your hair to tame it. You admired yourself in the mirror, spritzing a small amount of your signature perfume on your neck as you heard the back door open once more.

Ben closed the door behind him and walked back into the main living area. Expecting to find you where he left you, his brows knit together in confusion until he walked down the hallway to see the door to his bedroom wide open. There you were, perched intentionally across the foot of his bed, gazing up at him with the most “come hither” eyes you could muster. His own eyes widened as he took in the sight of you scantily clad in black lace.

He stood there for a moment and you began to worry that he’d had a stroke. Standing up, you walked slowly over to where he stood, still frozen in the doorway. Your inner sex goddess took over as you stopped about an inch away from him. You looked up into his piercing green eyes, clouded with lust, and flicked your gaze down to his lips, still swollen from earlier. Your tongue darted across your lips as you slid a finger into the waistband of his jeans to pull him towards you, guiding him until you felt your legs hit the back of the bed. When you pulled him down onto the bed with you it was as if his trance had been broken. Suddenly, he was back on top of you with the same fervor he’d had when you’d first arrived home.

“Y/N, you minx,” he moaned, his hand running across the lace that covered your stomach. You reached between the two of you and began undoing his belt. Unbuttoning his jeans, your lips never leaving Ben’s, you managed to push them and his briefs down his hips far enough for his cock to spring out. Though this wasn’t the first time you’d seen it, a small gasp still escaped from your lips, Ben moaning as you took it in your hand. “Fuck,” he cursed.

A devilish smile played across your lips as you gently pushed him off of you and onto his back. You pressed a light kiss to his jaw, continuing to intermittently pepper kisses on his skin as you made your way tantalizingly slowly down his body. His hands found their way to tangle themselves in your hair, and when you halted just above his member to suck a mark on his pubic bone, he absentmindedly tightened his grip and tried to buck his hips into you.

You removed your lips from him, tutting. “Easy, Ben. Don’t you want to take this slow?”

He cried out as you allowed your tongue to just barely graze the head of his penis. “Y/N, love- please. Please, please, please.” You were slightly taken aback, you’d never had a man beg you. You were even more surprised to feel yourself growing wetter with each “please” he uttered. Ben whimpered as you pretended to think about it, tracing your fingers across his abs as you made another mark on his thigh. Looking down at his swollen, throbbing cock, leaking with precum, you suppressed a moan. Finally, you took him into your mouth, wrapping one of your hands around his base so that you wouldn’t choke on his enormous length. His cock twitched on your tongue and you hummed against him, causing him to cry out once more. You started to bob your head up and down on him, but Ben’s fingers tugged on your hair, pulling you off with a pop. Worried, you asked, “did I do something wrong?”

Ben’s eyes flared and softened, “no, no, no, baby. I just wanted to try a more, uh, mutually beneficial position.” When you looked confused, he sat up to pull you further up the bed. He kissed you softly on the lips, before uttering, “do you trust me, love?”

When you nodded, he helped you position yourself until you were straddled in a reverse cowgirl-esque position across his chest. He tapped your knees and it finally dawned on you what he was trying to do. That cheeky bastard wanted to sixty-nine. You repositioned yourself so that your knees rested on either side of his head, your lace-clad center hovering over his face. Before you could return your mouth to its earlier work, Ben moved the fabric of your bodysuit to the side so that you were on full display to him. After thoroughly coating them in his mouth, Ben carefully slid his index and middle fingers into your dripping core, eliciting a loud moan from you. His head moved and, much to your surprise, his tongue flicked across your clit several times before his lips attached to it, sucking relentlessly. You felt your knees buckle and his name fell from your lips, but you pushed through the pleasure and tilted your head to take his cock back into your mouth.

The two of you continued this way for a few moments before Ben curled his fingers inside of you to press against your sweet spot. You sputtered against his cock and it fell out of your mouth. As he picked up speed, you managed to croak out, “Ben, I need you.”

His fingers still continuing their relentless assault, Ben grinned. “M’right here love. I can feel how close you are my sweet girl. Fuck.”

Trying to keep yourself from coming, you were on the verge of tears. “Ben, stop. I want- I need your cock, baby. Please, Ben.” Satisfied that he had the upper hand, he removed his lips and fingers from your soaking pussy. You moaned at the lost sensation and carefully moved off of Ben. He knelt behind you and unzipped the back of your lingerie before sliding it off your shoulders and helping to pull down and off your legs. Once you had been freed, with your back still to Ben, you knelt on the bed on your hands and knees, wiggling your ass in the air to get his attention. You knew you had it when his hand came down on your ass with a hard smack, and you cried out at the impact.

“Naughty girl,” he chastised, his hand connecting with your rear once more as he lined himself up. Massage the sore spot with one hand, he brought his other down to rub his cock against your folds. “You’re so fucking wet, baby. Who did this to you?”

Eager to see more of this new, dominant side of Ben, you ground your ass into him as you teasingly said, “Gwilym.”

Another smack, then he gathered your hair in his hand and twisted it so that you were pulled back against him. His other hand came up to caress the side of your face, down your neck, and in the valley of your breasts, then moving to toy with one of your nipples. You squirmed, but he only pulled your hair tighter, pinching your nipple in response. Your center ached for him and you tried to rut your behind into him once more. Your hand snaked down to your clit and began rubbing circles in search of relief, but Ben grabbed your wrist in his hand. “I don’t think so, love. Liars don’t get to come.”

You swallowed, and wanting to see how far you could take this, you said, “Who says I was lying?”

A blistering heat rose in Ben. “Is that so?” Releasing you from his grasp, he pushed you down in front of him and grabbed your hips. You cried out in ecstasy as he forced himself into you and immediately started pounding you so hard that you swore your eyes rolled back into head. Tears spilled down your cheeks as the sound of skin slapping skin filled the room, interrupted only by your cries. You whimpered his name, over and over. Ben felt your walls tighten around him and his hand connected with the flesh of your ass once again. “Tell me, Y/N. Tell me or I won’t let you come.”

You stayed silent, sure that he was bluffing, but you sobbed when he suddenly pulled out and began stroking himself with his hand. “Say it, Y/N. Who made you this wet?” He asked once again, running the fingers of his free hand between your folds.

Mascara streaming down your face, you finally relented. “You. You did Ben.”

“Not Gwil?”

“No. Only you, baby.” You had barely gotten the words out of your mouth when he plunged back into you, reassuming the same brutal pace as before. This time, he wrapped his arm around your waist to reach between your legs, circling your clit to bring you closer to the edge. His own orgasm was quickly approaching and when you finally came, you clamped down on him so tightly that the sensation of his own release prolonged your orgasm. His movements stuttered and his hands tightened their grip on your hips as he held you in place, milking every last drop of cum from his erection.

You collapsed, bringing Ben toppling down on top of you. He rolled off of you and onto his side, and you flinched as his cock slipped out of you. Ben could sense how sore you were and pulled you closer to his chest. You focused on steadying your breathing and Ben brushed the hair from your face before nuzzling his face into the back of your head.

In your post-coital haze, you weren’t thinking clearly about the potential consequences as the words “I love you” fell from your lips. Only after the words had escaped and were already hanging in the air did you realize what you’d said. You froze, waiting for his response.

Ben shifted beside you, propping himself up on his elbow. “What did you say, Y/N?”

You winced and covered your face with your hand. This was it, the rejection. You were sure of it. But instead, Ben gently took hold of your wrists and pried your hands away. “Please, say it again.”

Your heart-rate picked up and you let out a deep breath before finally repeating yourself. “I said, ‘I love you,’ Ben.” You looked up into his eyes, unable to read the intention in his face, and for the shortest moment you braced yourself for the worst. After all, he was an actor. He was already recognized frequently for his role on Eastenders, and you knew that once Bohemian Rhapsody hit theaters those one or two girls who recognized him at the store would turn into hundreds. Why would he want to tie himself down to you of all people when soon he would have women tripping over themselves to get to him? Maybe your fears had been right, maybe this was just an on-set fling.

But then the corners of Ben’s mouth tugged into the widest smile, his eyes sparkling with adoration. “You love me?” He asked, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. You nodded.

“Do you love me?” You asked, and he blinked down at you incredulously.

“Do I love you?” Ben’s lips found yours, his hand that had been on your cheek moving slightly behind your ear. You leaned into his touch, but he broke the kiss. “Of course I love you, you looney!” You both giggled and he kissed your temple before settling his chin atop your head, holding you to his chest as you both drifted off to sleep.

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completeoveranalysis · 5 years

Text

TRC Translation Notes Volume 19 (Chapter 141 - 149)

We’re catching up now! Here are the translation notes for Volume 19 by @giniroangou.

Highlights Include: judgement from Kurogane, Lava Lamp’s vague goal, Kurogane’s love advice, Sakura is the full package!, future sight clarifications, setting Lava Lamp free, oops Eagle Vision is still a bit of a dick, interesting Fai choices, the changing future, and clarity on the power level thing!

Chapter 141

Cover page - The official translation is actually correct on this one. Perhaps “The Short-Lived Fugitive” would sound a little better?

p.9 - For some reason they translated it differently, but when Fai quotes Kurogane he is repeating the same line that we saw spoken previously. Funnily though, this was a sentence that Fai started himself, so while he ends up quoting Kurogane as having said, “Sakura-chan is wavering,” the first part of the line was actually his own contribution (hence “Sakura-chan” instead of “The Princess.”)

p.13 - I’d like to point out that the word translated as “wish” is not the same word we tend to see used during Yuuko’s deals. Yuuko grants wishes (“negai”/願い) but Sakura and Fai are talking about desires (“nozomi”/望み). The difference in nuance is subtle enough that “nozomi” can be translated as “wish,” but it doesn’t have as strong a connection to the many other wishes we’ve seen in this series.

p.14 - Mokona is back to saying “Syaoran” with quotation marks when she talks about Lava Lamp. She speculates that he’s fallen asleep right away because he has so many things to worry about. I would interpret her lines at the bottom of the page as a reference to Lava Lamp’s worries rather than Sakura’s, though of course they apply to the entire group.

p.15 - You can remove the “I guess” from Kurogane’s line here - there’s no uncertainty in anything he says on this page.

p.17 - As with all the previous instances regarding Lava Lamp and his goal of protection, there is no pronoun in his original line. He says he’ll protect, and from the context we can guess he’s talking about Sakura, but there’s no clue in the line itself as to who or what he’s talking about.

p.21 - In case you didn’t catch this, Kurogane’s line here is the same one he says back in Acid Tokyo when he’s commenting on Fai and Syaoran both lying. What he actually says in Japanese is “doitsumo koitsumo.” It’s a difficult sentiment to fully capture in English, but it basically indicates that you’re negatively judging a group of people.

Chapter 142

p.25 - The opponent on this page specifically uses the term “good luck” rather than “pure luck,” so Fai is repeating his direct words.

p.32 - Geo doesn’t describe Eagle as the chairman of the tournament, but rather the head of the family that sponsors the tournament. ...which ultimately may amount to the same thing of course.

p.33 - The sound effect beside Kurogane (“piku”/ピク) indicates a twitching movement, implying that he registers Sakura’s response as something surprising or suspicious. While we get twin reaction shots of his face and Fai’s, their reactions end up feeling notably different because of the inclusion of that sound effect.

P.35 - “Jerks” is a bit strong, I’d say. Kurogane says “yatsu,” a rough word usually (but not always) used by men to refer to men. Its tone varies depending on the context - it can be derogatory, neutral, or even affectionate. Here, Kurogane uses the singular form rather than the plural. You could translate his line to specifically relate to Syaoran and Sakura’s situation, as follows: “There’s no way she’s going to know the true feelings of a guy who never says anything no matter how much time passes.” Alternatively, you could translate it in a more general sense as, “There’s no way to know the true feelings of a guy who never says anything no matter how much time passes.”

p.36 - Kurogane continues to use rough language, but it’s not as openly hostile as it is in the translation. I feel like they just took all the subtext of these lines and pulled it out into the open. His original line is more like, “Don’t just assume that if you keep silent no one will know something’s going on.” This helps explain why Lava Lamp seems relatively unfazed, and also gives a different nuance to Fai’s reaction.

p.37 - Eagle tells Sakura, “Your manners are perfect too.” SHE IS THE FULL PACKAGE.

p.38 - That “piku” sound effect comes back on this page, this time for Sakura - again, it’s a way to show sudden increased attention or surprise without a major physical reaction. Here it’s in response to Eagle mentioning that Sakura comes from another dimension.

Chapter 143

p.43 - When Yuuko asks if Sakura is serious, it’s more of a confirmation than a question. Then what’s been translated as Sakura saying she wants to go alone was originally, “I’m going alone.”

p.45 - What Clow told Sakura was not about responsibility but about possibility - “You can choose your future,” or in a more general sense, “Futures can be chosen.”

p.46 - Again, Yuuko isn’t fully questioning here. It’s more like she’s saying, “So you had that power too.” You could go either way on whether this is new information to her or not, but if it is something she didn’t know, it doesn’t appear to be unexpected. She also doesn’t say anything about dreams in the original text - she just refers to Sakura’s ability as “the power to see the future.”

Sakura says that Yukito can see important events that will affect the future, not that he sees everything.

p.47 - Sakura’s last lines here were mistranslated. She says, “If it’s going to turn out like that future I caught a glimpse of, I’ll part from them.” (The last word on the page is “wakaremasu”/“to part from” not “wakarimasu”/“I know”)

p.48 - I interpreted Sakura’s line a bit differently, to be, “I’ll find him… and I’ll choose a different future than the one I saw back then.” It’s a question of whether “at that moment” refers to the future that she saw or to finding Syaoran, and its placement in the sentence could connect it to either, but she says “ano toki” rather than “sono toki” which distances it from the first part of the sentence so… I’m thinking this is what it’s supposed to be. Of course, this still implies that finding him is a key to choosing a different future, it’s just not necessarily the deciding key.

p.50 - This is a bit more clear in the Japanese wording, but Eagle is basically saying that he doesn’t need Sakura to tell him anything because it’s in the nature of secrets to leak out, so he assumes he’ll get the answer eventually anyway.

p.59 - This line is a lot more open to interpretation in its original form. You could read it as a full sentence, “From now on, be free…” or as the start of a sentence, “From now on, freely…” This could be a request for Lava Lamp to stop feeling bound to her or it could be a request that he allow Sakura her freedom. The context points heavily towards the former though.

Chapter 144

p.64 - Instead of just “From now on,” Sakura says, “This very moment, and from now on.” She wants to make sure Fai knows her request starts RIGHT NOW.

p.70 - This lines come off a bit weird in the translation, like Sakura is talking about Syaoran as someone Lava Lamp doesn’t know anything about, and then a second later treating him and Lava Lamp as the same person. This was not originally the case. I would change “one” in Sakura’s first line to “the one” or “the person,” and then when she says that she’s caused pain and hardship, she starts by saying, “For you too.”

This scene also marks the first time we see Sakura use casual language when speaking to Lava Lamp.

p.75 - Eagle’s lines are a little different here. They were originally, “Those weapons aren’t what you’ve always used, are they? Why don’t you fight with the weapon you’re most skilled at? I’ll permit you to use magic or whatever too.”

p.81 - “Automata” is written with the kanji for “mechanical human” (機械人間) but the reading is given in katakana as “automata.” I would actually interpret Eagle’s line as, “Didn’t you have any of these in your world?” I feel like it’s still meant to come off as kind of condescending though.

Chapter 145

p.99 - Yuuko tells Sakura the price would be too high for her to visit any world she’s been to before: “For example, Clow Kingdom or any of the worlds you’ve passed through.” Clow is the only one she names because it was Sakura’s starting point rather than a world she passed through, but it’s certainly not the only world with a steep return price.

p.101 - A little adjustment in nuance: Yuuko says that for Sakura who hasn’t yet retrieved all of her memories, her luck is practically the only weapon she has to defend herself, so if she offers that up as a price she will have nothing left to protect her in the next world.

p.102 - The difference between “alone” and “isolation” is expressed in the Japanese text through the kanji. Both times Yuuko uses the word “hitori” but the first time the kanji is 一人, representing “one person,” and the second time it’s 独り, meaning “alone.”

Chapter 146

p.106 - Yuuko’s use of “we” here was a weird translation thing. There are no pronouns in her sentence, but it can be assumed she’s just speaking for herself.

p.110 - I am mystified by the little movement(?) arrow in the bottom right panel - it’s definitely not in the version I have.

p.119 - A small correction to Fai’s lines - he’d thought it would be all right earlier, but now there’s no time left anymore.

p.120 - Fai’s original line wasn’t about staying in Celes, but about staying in the same world for too long in general: “If I keep staying in the same world and end up meeting the awoken Ashura-ou, I’ll…” He’s thinking about his impending potential fate rather than one he’s already avoided. With these adjustments to the last couple pages, I would guess that Fai was ready to start running again under his own power and Kurogane sensed it so he grabbed Fai’s arm to keep him there.

Chapter 148

p.144-145 - You can’t tell from the translated version, but Sakura and Lava Lamp are operating at totally different emotional levels here (at least outwardly.) Sakura’s lines don’t have any punctuation at all (no exclamation points!) and her first line starts with an ellipsis (“.... Let go”).

p.152 - Big correction to this page: “But one day, if someone appears before you who surpasses the reason why the two of you were restrained in separate places all this time, that enormous magical power, you will…”

p.153 - Ashura’s line could be interpreted as a reference to multiple worlds, but on a more human level it means, “I’ve come for you, because there’s more to the world than this place.”

Chapter 149

p.168 - I believe Yuuko is describing Chii and Freya as resonating with each other rather than the feathers. Yuuko then explains that the the two feathers together contain enough magical power to surpass Fai’s halved power.

p.169 - I would put Yuuko’s line here in present tense: “The chances are one in two.” It’s not over yet!

p.174-175 - Again, there are no exclamation points on any of Sakura’s lines on these pages (or on the last page of this chapter for that matter.) There’s emphasis using bold or larger text, but I feel like the nuance is quite different. Also, her final line is, “Don’t forget, from now on the future can be changed.” That “from now on” is “kore kara mo,” indicating that she’s already succeeded in changing the future, and it’s something they can continue to do.

#The feather portal finally makes sense!#This is a GIFT #giniroangou #who is the actual best #liveblogging the reservoir chronicle #tsubasa #vol 141 #vol 142 #vol 143 #vol 144 #vol 145 #vol 146 #vol 147 #vol 148 #vol 149

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ninatranslates · 7 years

Text

Just thoughts about some of the official NDRV3 translations.

I just wanna discuss a few of the things I’ve seen talked about here and there. As a couple of side notes, (1) these are just my opinions. You’re free to disagree, but don’t lose your mind over it.

(2) There is no one true way to translate a language. Give the same text to a bunch of different translators and they will all come back with different results. Therefore, there can be multiple “correct” translations of a single text. And in the end, fans are allowed to use whichever they like best.

(3) Literal meaning isn’t all that makes up a language. Keep in mind that translating is a balancing act between meaning, nuance, and feeling. Sometimes you need to choose one over the other. Translators will try their best to minimize this, but some things are bound to get lost in translation. This applies to any language.

And (4) what counts as an acceptable English equivalent for a fan translation may not be appropriate for an official localization, and vice-versa. This is because they target different audiences, and naturally, the same text is perceived differently by different people. NDRV3 fan translators will assume their audience is familiar with Japanese media, know a bit of the language and culture, and have played the past DR games. On the other hand, the official localization is targeting a general English-speaking audience to sell their game as much as possible. This includes those who are new to DR and Japanese media, and the localization team needs to take care not to alienate them, since they make up the bulk of the western audience.

Anyways, if you’re interested about my thoughts so far or are curious about a few of the localization choices, keep reading for more. But note that I’m not a professional or veteran translator, I’m a young Japanese-American who likes anime and translates for fun. Don’t take my opinions as the word of God.

There are no spoilers.

Here are some things about the localization that I agree and disagree with:

STRONGLY AGREE (I wish I thought of that):

Luminary of the Stars, Kaito Momota - This is great, they managed to make it sound both cool/epic and short/sweet, while capturing the nuances of his catchphrase 宇宙に轟く百田解斗, uchuu ni todoroku Momota Kaito “I am Kaito Momota, who will become well-known/famous throughout space”, but in a “they will speak of me in legends” or “my legends will spread throughout the galaxy” sort of way. I’m jealous.

Nyeeeeeh - Cute, funny, and lazy! Admittedly I have trouble translating unusual onomatopoeias, and Himiko’s habitual んなー was no exception. Literally spelled as nnaa, I tried to translate it as “uhnaa”, but I still wasn’t quite happy with it. “Nyeeeh” is so much better gaaaah.

AGREE

K1-B0/Keebo - Probably the most controversial, and I’m probably offending people by saying this, but there’s actually more to Kiibo’s name than you’d think. Before they released his name, I was wondering how they would translate it, since there are just so many elements in his name that a simple “Kiibo” or “Kibo” can’t carry over. I think this deserves a longer explanation, but basically, K1-B0 and nickname Keebo preserve most of the nuances and intentions that were in the original Japanese. From the obvious and stupid humor, to the cuteness, to emphasizing his robotness and humanness at the same time, to giving off the right first impressions, and to setting up some of the intended expectations... The only thing that’s missing is the “hope” wordplay. But hey, unless you can think of a feasible way to overlap “Kiibo” with “hope”, it’s just one of those things that’s gonna get lost in translation. Also, whether “K1-B0″ and “Keebo” will work still depends on the execution of the dialogue. However, both キーボ and K1-B0/Keebo gave me the same “wow that’s so stupid, I love it” reaction as both a Japanese and American fan, and I was just really impressed by how they were able to replicate it so perfectly. Anyways, I can still understand why people would hate it, since it is just such a jarring non-name. But as long as you don’t work for NISA, you’re still allowed to call him whatever you want. In case you haven’t noticed, the Japanese language doesn’t use alphabets, and there’s no one true way to romanize his name. So K1-B0, Keebo, Kiibo, Kibo, Ki-bo, and Kībo are all acceptable ways to spell キーボ. However, “Kibou” is incorrect, since that’s just “hope”. It’s the difference between キーボ and キボウ. But I won’t hunt you down for it, it’s not that big a deal.

Oma - Similar to Kiibo, except not nearly as complicated or as big a deal as fans make it out to be. Ouma, Oma, and Ōma are all acceptable ways to romanize 王馬. But since they already used the “Oma” method of spelling for every other character in every other game, making an exception just for “Ouma” for no real reason would be inconsistent and unprofessional. The “Oma” spelling is also the most common way to localize Japanese names (ex. Pikachu from ピカチュウ pikachuu and Goku from 悟空 gokuu). Even among real-life Japanese people living in America, they are more likely to spell their name the “Oma” way, though the “Ouma” way isn’t uncommon either. The fact “Oma” means “grandma” in another language is irrelevant, since last I checked, this is an English localization. As an example, did you know Japanese people find the French phrase “qu'est-ce que c'est” really funny? It’s cuz it sounds like ケツクセ... as in, “Your butt stinks”. But I’m not gonna tell the French to stop saying “What’s up?” because they��re implying someone farted in Japanese. Or hey, even my own first name means “newly-bloomed na flower” in Japanese (新菜 nina), but it basically means “fresh vegetable” (xīncài) in Chinese. Or an even better, real-life localization example would be Miyazaki’s Laputa: The Castle in the Sky. The fact that la puta means “the whore” in Spanish didn’t force the English localization to change the name of the castle, though they did understandably drop it from the title. “Laputa” is something the Spanish dub needs to worry about, which they did, they changed the name to “Lapuntu”. Anyways getting side-tracked. As you can see, a normal word in one language can mean something silly or inappropriate in another language. This literally happens all the time. And if you don’t like “Oma”, you’re still free to call him “Ouma”. Just because it’s unofficial, doesn’t mean it’s incorrect. Really. It just. Does not. Matter. Also here’s every other main series DR character who got the same treatment: Kyoko (Kyouko) Kirigiri, Mondo Owada (Oowada), Sakura Ogami (Oogami), Toko (Touko) Fukawa, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu (Kuzuryuu), Kazuichi Soda (Souda) Rantaro (Rantarou) Amami, Ryoma (Ryouma) Hoshi, Shuichi (Shuuichi) Saihara, Korekiyo Shinguji (Shinguuji), Kirumi Tojo (Toujou), Monotaro (Monotarou)

Piano freak - Not quite sure why people were upset about this other than excessive nitpicking. In Japanese, you could call nerds “(obsession) idiot” in the way that all they care and think about is their obsession and nothing else. But this isn’t how “idiot” is used in English, so the best equivalent is actually “(obsession) freak”. However, “idiot” is acceptable for a fan translation, since many anime fans are familiar with the meaning and connotations of バカ (baka).

Monokuma Kubs/MonoKubs - Pronounced Monokumaazu, the direct translation is “Monokumarz” or “Monokumaz”, which works just fine for a fan translation, but doesn’t quite carry over the connotations for a general English-speaking audience. It’s like the huge gap in feeling between “The Doraemons” in English and “The Doraemons” (ザ・ドラエモンズ) in Japanese. (How many of you are actually familiar with The Doraemons btw lmao.) Using “the”, the plural “s”, and “ers” (like workers and singers) is normal in English, but using them in Japanese gives off squad or team vibes with a dash of silly humor. “MonoKubs” does just that while sounding nice and simple. “MonoKubz” would’ve been great too, and fans can still use whatever they like best.

NEUTRAL

Voice recasting - One word. Budget.

Dub quality - I think the quality is pretty expected since the voice acting industry in America isn’t nearly as big as in Japan. But I also have zero interest in dubs, so I’m pretty biased on this one oops. My assumption is they’re doing the best they can. Also English speakers mispronouncing foreign names is nothing new. Even though I do find the memes funny, I don’t expect people who don’t speak Japanese to get it perfect, just like I don’t expect Japanese voice actors to get their English perfect.

Mastermind - The most literal translation of 首謀者 (shubousha) would’ve been “ringleader”, except “ringleader” doesn’t sound nearly as cool or memorable as “mastermind”. So they chose impact and rule-of-cool over literalness and subtlety. Which is understandable. Besides, if they wanted to be literal, they should’ve gone with “puppetmaster” (黒幕 kuromaku) in the first game. I think both “ringleader” and “mastermind” are acceptable here.

First-name basis/no honorifics - I personally prefer when translations preserve honorifics. It just says a lot about the character and their relationships. However, just like there are no perfect English equivalents for all the Japanese ways to say “I” and “you”, there’s just no exact English equivalent for all these honorifics, so using them risks alienating the general audience. Also, this is what they went with for the other two games, so it’d be a little bit awkward changing it now. This decision doesn’t match my personal preference, but it’s a completely understandable and common one.

DISAGREE

Male delinquents - Tenko uses the term 男死 (danshi) for men, which is a pun on “men” and “death” to show her disgust for them. However, there’s a big difference in meaning and implication between “I hate male delinquents” and “I hate males”. Also not as punny as “menace” (credit to @oumakokichi for the pun). I worry they did this to avoid offending guys... but there’s no way to know for sure. My opinion of "male delinquents” could also change depending on its execution.

Kiyo - I can understand that English-speakers might have trouble pronouncing Japanese names that are more than three syllables... but this feels like they’re dumbing down the audience a bit. Come on, let the boy keep his name!

STRONGLY DISAGREE (Just. Why.)

Gonta’s Tarzan speak - Gonta has the intellect of a child, and speaks like one, sure... But he doesn’t speak like a caveman. He’s perfectly fluent and literate in Japanese, so this seems like inappropriate stereotyping to me. My guess is someone really misinterpreted Gonta’s character and dialogue, or wanted to treat feral children “realistically”. Not a fan of this at all.

UNDECIDED

Atua - Honestly not sure what to think of this, since I know nothing of Polynesian mythology. I don’t know if naming Angie’s god after a real-life term for Polynesian gods and spirits is appropriate, since we don’t know if Angie’s god is actually an atua, and especially because her religion is depicted as shady and cultish. I think depicting her religion this way would’ve been (arguably borderline) acceptable as long as her god remained unspecific and made-up. And considering that most Japanese people are agnostic, possessing a general, unspecific belief in a god or infinite gods/spirits, I did assume this was the intent of the original context. But I just don’t know enough about Polynesian culture to form a concrete opinion. Like, does the Japanese text make references to Angie’s god being an atua? Are there any atua that fit the description? Or is it like Shinto where there are an infinite amount of all kinds of kami? How much care is being put into accuracy and respect for the culture in the English localization? My gut reaction is “strongly disagree”, but until I hear some thoughts from Polynesian DR fans, I’m going to remain undecided.

Anyways, just wanted to get my thoughts out there. In general it seems the localization is trying their best, but there are a few glaring decisions. Again, you’re welcome to disagree. Just remember your human decency and don’t be rude. Everyone lives a different life and perceives things differently, and just because something is imperfect or unpopular doesn’t mean you can’t like it or you have to hate it.

Thanks for reading, I welcome any friendly comments and additions!

#ndrv3 #new danganronpa v3 #drv3 #danganronpa #dr

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ghosty-schnibibit · 5 years

Text

first taz liveblog of 2019! woohoo! ^u^

i’ve missed taz so much omg, i’m very hyped for this lunar interlude. also i'm doing this liveblog without the use of my mouse because windows ten hates me and keeps doing this to me after system updates, so if any of the formatting is wonky that’s why :///

god i nearly forgot how much shit went down in the last arc, god i've gotta relisten to it at some point

ron "the white" tattersalad

that's so good omg

it's still so weird that they're still calling it lunar interlude since there's no moonbase, idk why but it feels off to me

that means the next hunt could potentially be near valentines... give me the wlw content griffin, blease

aww yikes, nearly forgot about that, poor old car :(

whistles the autoguy

duck's lies just have the power to grant life lol

clint ilu omg

"that's a pretty wack way to meet somebody" god bless you griffin

ned you're a worse liar than duck

it's jesus's car

is ned going to get a minivan???

griffin i know nothing about cars why must you do this to me

transformers: cryptids in disguise

WHAT THE FUCK NED

crepes by monica

clint's stealing justin's naming random kepler citizens steeze lol

god i love these boys

oh fuck that is so good

do you mean the pine guard clint?

that sounds sick as fuck

oooooh good move, that's good

termineder

wouldn't that counteract the surveillance though?

"his name's plural, right?" idk griffin, what's in your heart

“enchilada adventures” loving this

COMMIT GRIFFIN, COMMIT TO YOUR NEED FOR BRITISH MEN TO MURDER YOUR DAD

aww :(

griffin you slid from the kravitz voice into the klaarg voice, why

yes, describe how hot he is clint,

YES, I LOVE THE ACCENT, BRING IT BACK

jesus ned, jump right into it there, yikesa mikesa

"life has a funny way, as alanis would say" i love boyd already

who??? there are so many npcs in this game, i need a flowchart

... griffin is that sloane and hurley’s tree

that's a word for it lmao

OH MY GOD ITS MAMA, OH FUCKING SHIT

whoop, on to aubrey

i'm trying to remember what janelle looks like and i keep picturing the goat soothsayer from kung fu panda 2, idk why

oh dang, ned didn't have to roll at any point during his scene :0

aubrey is so sweet, i love her so much

oh no... oh no, this is going to make me cry i can already tell

"i'm fine with that" travis please, give me the girlfriends

aubrey my baby i love you whaaat

this is going a hell of a lot better than i thought it would

oh no, vincent's going to be upset :(

griffin how much of this season is based off atlantis: the lost empire, that was my favorite movie growing up and this is so similar

aubrey my precious baby

... who is the entity then?

"pine guard chronicler" wait, thacker???

well that's... not that reassuring

is aubrey the entity????? holy shit holy shit holy shit

more confirmation that aubrey's pendant is part of the crystal... that makes me wonder if the crystal barclay had in the first arc and the one indrid has are reclaimed pieces of it

jesus fuck this is extremely dark 0_0

okay wait one fucking minute... vincent was extremely adamant that aubrey not touch the crystal when the guard first came to sylvain, did he know something like this would happen? i have so many questions

"this is not your world to save" holy fuck i'm gonna cry

yeeee! can't wait to see my magic boy in graphic novel format!!! :D

the spooky violins are back

does this mean leo was the guitar dude? oh snap :0

duck what the hell

justin this is so good, bless you for this

this is so very good holy hell, god this is some good worldbuilding omg

GRIFFIN YOU DO NOT GET TO USE THE PHRASE "SHE'S JUST GONE" WHILE USING SUCH A BARRY-ADJACENT VOICE, I JUST BROKE OUT IN A COLD SWEAT WAITING FOR JUSTIN TO SAY "WHO"

i cannot wait to see this drawn omg

oh ewww, duck why :(

wait so is duck completely powerless now? is he not the chosen anymore??? holy shit how is this going to affect his class typing?????

if i were duck i'd be reassured knowing i wasn’t the only one tbh

holy fuck this is terrifying

good damn i love duck

holy fuck leo!!!

aww duck baby :(((

oh jeez, that's not great

"okay, we're fucked" aww, have faith in our boy leo :(

oh snap, this is amazing omg

... so duck is princess peach now basically

duck the helper boy! :D

he is going to get so much experience omg

oh my god what

this is so weird omg

... oh fuck, duck no longer has chosen resurrection plot armor, oh i'm so worried for my boy

yay, the heathcliff music!

awwww :3

travis is consistent at least lmao

WHAT, WHY

oh sweet :0

damn that's a good idea considering how fucked up ned got last arc

oh shit, that's cool as hell

oops lmao

duck just needs any help he can get

don’t be mean to heathcliff!!! :(

"at least i can wear that to work" mood

in conclusion: i am extremely worried for my no-longer-chosen son and have a ton of theories about stuff that are pretty dang dark! this is fine :)))

#taz #taz spoilers #taz amnesty #the adventure zone #ghosty liveblogs taz #can't wait for the new arc!#here's hoping duck doesn't die

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huntertales · 7 years

Text

Part Two: It’s Just a Scratch. (Abandon All Hope S05E10)

Useful Links: Last Part | All Episodes Word Count: 6,227. A/N: Oops, I made this part super long again. And while I would have gotten this out sooner...I guess I need to catch a little cold to help slow down the process. I hope this was worth the wait! Make sure to bring a box of tissues for the next part! :'(

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Today was the day: doomsday. You sat in the backseat with the brothers for the drive that took almost all morning with the Harvelle women riding behind you as Cas decided to hitch a ride with them. Nobody said much of anything, except to make sure you had everything you needed to face an impossible amount of demons and their creator; salt, shotguns, demon knife, and most importantly, the colt and the ammunition Crowley gave you. While you had just about every single weapon all of you had, along with a few spares from Bobby for safety, you weren't exactly sure what the outcome was going to be. Or what you should be even feeling right now.

You weren't scared to see what might unravel in the next upcoming hours. But you weren't restless with excitement at the thought of facing off with the devil, and watching as one of the Winchesters put a bullet in his head. You were just...handling the situation best as you could, trying the pessimistic at bay and the optimism of what might be from keeping your hopes up that this was all going to end with the devil being dead and the world would be safe. Getting revenge isn't that easy, you knew that first hand. Killing Azazel took years and the brutal killing of your parents, the Winchesters and Jess before Dean finally pulled the trigger. The past year and a half of getting to this point was the worse situation you had ever been in. You just hoped all of the fighting and sacrifice would be enough to stop this before it could get worse.

“Anti-God is Anti-American.”

You looked over your shoulder to see the progress of where Ellen’s truck was when you arrived into town just a few minutes ago, but your eyes lingered to a billboard just across the way. It was huge, no doubt the size was so people could see it right away in this small little town to convey the message this was a God fearing town. You sat back in your seat and looked straight ahead. This town was abandoned, but no thanks to the big man upstairs. He could save them from what evil was lurking in these abandoned streets, but you had a feeling God was long gone to care about what his son was doing.

Dean told you and his brother to see if there was any service around here after he couldn’t find any on his phone. Which wasn't a good sign for all of you. The result had been to roll down your window and try every which way to see if you could have at least find a single bar. But there was nothing. You sat back in your seat and shut your phone before it could get damaged from the drizzle of rain that was coming down.

"Great. It's like Croatoan and War all over again." You muttered underneath your breath, just quiet enough for you to only hear. You looked up from your phone and to the boys, who were trying themselves to see if you had any contact to the outside world. "Are you guys getting a signal?"

“No, nothin’.” Dean answered you. “Nice and spooky.”

Dean adjusted his handling of the phone so it was now placed back in his pocket, his free arm waved for the Harvelle women to pass through as he moved the Impala to the curb. You watched as Ellen drove a bit further until her truck was right next to the Impala. She seemed to have made the same discovery as you and the boys had. "Place seem a little empty to you?" She asked, you could hear the worry starting to settle in her voice.

“Sam and I are gonna go check out the PD.” Dean explained the situation to the women and CAs, who had been quietly sitting in the backseat for the entire car ride. You grabbed the duffel bag you had switched out from your clothes last night to everything you needed from ammunition rounds of salt and too much holy water. Before you opened up the backseat door to get out, you patted around in your pocket, wanting to make sure you felt the outline of the demon knife. The boys agreed on keeping the colt if you could take the knife if you had stumbled across an unfriendly visitor. “You and Y/N stay here—see if you can find anybody.”

You told the boys to be careful, a warning you always told them before they ventured out on their own. You let out a sigh as you walked to the sidewalk, allowing Ellen to park as the Impala drove off into the distance, and soon, disappearing from sight. You tightened your grip on the bag as you looked over at the car to see Ellen turned the key to shut off the engine as Jo wasted no time in getting herself out to join you. She looked around for a brief moment to see if she could find anyone herself, but her gaze spotted Cas, who was still patiently sitting in the backseat, and seeming not in a rush to get out. Jo looked over at you with a bit of a confused expression, you merely shrugged your shoulders, knowing that even after of knowing the angel for over a year and a half, he still did things that surprised you.

“Hey.” Jo leaned forward and tapped her knuckles against the backseat window to get the angel’s attention. “Ever heard of a door handle?”

"Of course I have." You turned your head away from the car to see that Cas was standing in front of you and the younger woman. You rolled your eyes from his ability to jump wherever he wanted, always managing to catch you off guard. You were about to make a remark about how he should learn to act like a human being, but you stopped yourself, finding something off about how Cas was looking around town as his eyes squinted slightly, almost as if he was picking up on something that you couldn’t. You asked him what was wrong out of concern. “This town’s not empty. Reapers.”

"'Reapers'?" You repeated after him. You didn't like hearing the mention of a reaper, but it was the plural of the word that made you feel even more uneasy. As if you could see what the angel could, you cautiously examined the empty streets, trying to find at least a reaper with the naked eye. "As in one than one?"

"They only gather like this at times of great catastrophe—Chicago fire, San Francisco quake...Pompeii." Cas explained to the three of you. You let out a slow breath, not needing to have a history lesson to figure out all of the tragedies could have been categorized with one thing in common. The death toll of human rates that reached from a few hundred casualties to an entire city being buried under volcanic ash and the debris of their once standing civilization. "Excuse me. I need to find out why they're here."

You weren't exactly on board with the idea of Cas running off on his own, especially with no way of contacting him with service being down. But you had a bit of faith in thinking that maybe he could figure out what was going on without getting himself into trouble. You watched as he began walking into the empty streets and stopping every few steps, as if he was trying to observe something before heading off. The angel wandered all the way across to an old movie theatre after spotting something in the window. You squinted your eyes to see there looked to be an older man dressed in a black trench coat and pale white eyes that were haunting Seeing him brought a sense of warning to you. Maybe you had a bit of an advantage here with your other half, but this particular reaper caused something to be set off in you, a warning flag. As you directed your gaze to Cas, you had the sudden urge to capture his attention, but when you looked down at the street, he was gone.

+ + +

You tore the place apart best as you could, but in the ten minutes since you arrived, there was not a single living soul in sight that you could find. You and the Harvelle’s decided it'd be best to head to the station to see how the boys were coming along. The entire car ride to the station had left you antsy, you were hoping that the brothers would have Cas at their side, but when they were waiting on the sidewalk with only themselves and the Impala parked, you could feel your stomach drop. Something bad was happening here, and your instincts were telling you the angel had landed himself in harm's way without even realizing it.

"Station's empty." Dean said, giving you a bit of information that was an obvious fact from the state of this town. You stuck your head out from the backseat window to hear him better.

“So is everything else. By the way,” You wrapped your fingers around the cold glass to ask them a very important question that wouldn’t leave your mind, you were now hoping they were going to give you the answer you wanted to hear. “Have you seen Cas?”

“What?” Sam asked you, his reaction wasn’t exactly helpful as it was nothing short of surprised at what he was hearing. “He was with you.”

Ellen shook her head, “Nope. He went after the reapers.”

“Reapers? He saw reapers?” Sam questioned all of you. You watched as his expression began to change into a serious one. Even he didn’t like the sound of how this situation was coming along for the five of you. “Where?”

“Well, kind of…” Jo tried to answer the younger man, but she couldn’t be specific as she paused for a moment before giving a rough estimate from how he reacted. “Everywhere.”

Everybody decided it'd be best if you started on this adventure on foot to save the precious gas you had just in case you needed to make a quick getaway. And this town wasn't that big. It wouldn't take too long to find out that there was nobody here. You followed behind the group with your bag still hanging over your shoulder, but with an added touch of a fully loaded shotgun in your hand, just in case an unwanted visitor came your way. You weren't sure what you to expect with abandoned towns, but you knew nothing good came from it. You'd seen people infected with a demonic virus you nicknamed it Croatoan that turned people from civil human beings to monsters that wanted nothing more than to rip your throat out. People got infected with the virus through blood. While you had to learn the hard way, it turns out, thanks to a nurse who got infected, you were immune.

The other situation that you had landed in not too long ago with Ellen had townsfolk attacking just about anyone after they were seeing black eyes. While you were lead to believe there was a mass demon possession, that wasn’t the case. You had met the first horseman—War. He decided to have a bit of fun and make people paranoid out of their minds. It was either kill or be killed, like the good old days. He was taken care of after you cut off his finger and stole his ring. You tried figuring out what was going on here, but you’d been here for less than a half an hour. All you knew was that people didn’t decide to skip town after they found out the devil was coming. It didn’t explain all the reapers, and where the hell Cas had wandered off to.

“Well, this is great.” Dean spoke up, breaking the silence that had fallen between the five of you. “We’ve been in town for twenty minutes and we’ve already lost the angel up our sleeve.”

“You think, uh,” You looked over at the younger Winchester when he decided to try and give a possible theory to what happened to the angel. You roughly bit the inside of your cheek when you began thinking of what danger Cas might be in. Sam lowered his tone slightly as he shifted closer to his brother so he could propose a theory that only the two of them could discuss without any of you starting to get cold feet for the big fight you were thinking was still hours away. “You think Lucifer got to him?”

“I don’t know what else to think.” Dean admitted underneath his breath.

You found yourself beginning to trail behind on the group, your thoughts blocking your concentration on the situation at hand, as the pessimistic attitude you'd been trying to push away since you left this morning were beginning to become too bearable to pin down. You tightened your grip on the shotgun you were holding as you slightly turned your head, just a natural reaction you had grown accustomed to for hunting. It never hurt to check your surroundings to see if there were any enemies trying to sneak through in your blind spot. You honestly thought this place was abandoned without a human soul here. While you were right about that, you might have forgotten about the ones with a soul black as their eyes.

You turned your head to the side when you saw her again, the black eyed bitch you kept sneaking away whenever you tried to pin her down and stick the knife into her chest, Meg. You weren’t ever happy to see her. Jo had met the demon awhile back when she first started hunting on her own. It was in the form of Sam after she decided to possess the poor man and take you on her little adventure of slaughtering hunters for the fun of it. But she wasn’t the reason why you stopped dead in your tracks and forgot how to properly move. Meg felt her smile grow even more at your precious reaction, but it seemed the rest of the group didn’t realize she was gracing her presence, so she decided to make it known by making a vocal announcement.

“There you are.” Meg said with a cheery voice. She wasn’t the least bit afraid when she saw four guns loaded with rock salt pointing her way. Sam was the first one to recognize the demon, as he spit out her name with a venomous tone. “You shouldn’t have come here, boys. But I have to say, you're my job a hell of a lot easier."

“Yeah?” Dean wasn’t afraid of the demon. He wasted not a single second to pull out the colt and pointed the barrel at the woman, his finger on the trigger. The man didn’t realize she here to chat and say hello. But she wasn’t dumb enough to come to a gunfight empty handed. “Well, I could say the same thing for you.”

"Didn't come here alone, Dean-o." Meg said. You didn't need to hear the spine-chilling growl to realize the demon had brought a weapon that was far superior to a little gun. You nervously swallowed as you watched one of the hounds closest to Meg put one paw out in front of him, everyone could only see an invisible force make a splash in a small puddle. You, however, saw every little detail of the beasts, from their sharp claws and teeth they showed off as they snarled at you. There was at least ten, far too many for any of you to fight off, even with the colt in your possession now. You didn't even know if the knife could work and shooting rock salt at the hounds would be like poking a stick at a bear. It would only cause it to get angrier. "Hell hounds. I know how much they're your favorite, Y/N."

"Eat dirt and die, bitch." You hissed at her.

"Come on, Y/N. Don't be like that." Meg said. She pretended to be hurt at your words as the hell hound far to the left snarled at you, his lips snarling upwards to show off his razor sharp teeth to you. You quickly looked away to keep from the vivid memories of the night you were dragged to Hell from flooding back to you. "Our father wants to see you."

“I think she’ll pass.” Sam said, jumping to your defense. “Thanks.”

"Your call. I'm just doing what I'm told. My father said he wanted Y/N alive. But he didn't say anything about getting a few scratches on that pretty face of hers. So, what is it gonna be?" Meg asked as her gaze lingered over to you to make the final decision. "You can make this easy on everyone. Or you can make it really, really hard."

You took a moment evaluate where they could be; one was still lingering next to Meg, your gaze followed another that was starting to get ready at pounce at you before going for Sam. You shifted your sight just quick enough to realize there was one for Ellen and Jo. Maybe, just maybe, if all of you were smart enough, you could get out of here without a scratch. And you had enough bullets in the colt to take down the hounds if you pointed them out to Dean. You had a feeling being half demon was starting to have an advantage in this fight. You slowly looked over at the man to see that he had been following your eye move. With the simple nod of the head, you thought it wouldn't hurt to take your chances at fighting them.

"When have you known us to ever make anything easy?"

Dean wasted not a single second when he drew the colt away from the demon to point it at the hound. You heard the shot go off, wounding the animal just enough for it to be taken down, but that still meant you had nine other of his friends nipping at your heels. All of you didn't waste a second before you were running for your life. You heard the vicious barking come from behind you, and it was getting closer than you wanted. Taking a second to inspect the situation, you noticed one of the hounds was going for the Harvelle women as another chased after Sam, the last one was dead set on you. As he reached up one of his claws to dig it into your skin, you aimed the shotgun and pulled the trigger, wounding the hound just enough for it to lag. You tried your hardest to start running faster, but it seemed in that moment, your mind decided to stroll down memory lane.

Your heart pounded inside your ears, it was loud enough to muffle the gunshots that were going off around you, but it wasn't enough to silence the agonizing screams of pain that seemed to have come out of nowhere.Suddenly you could see it all again; Dean lying on the floor as a hell hound hovered over him, the hound's claws viciously digging into his chest as he begged for the pain to stop. You couldn't scream or cry, Lilith had made you a prisoner in your own body as you watched the man you loved be torn to pieces. All you wanted to do was for it to stop. You suddenly could feel yourself on the brink of being sick at the memory, and just like that, your legs seemed to have forgotten how to work. You stumbled slightly in your footing, and just that little lag, was enough for a sharp pain to pierce your skin.

You felt the scream that had been building up in your throat suddenly come right now when you felt yourself being thrown to the ground by an invisible force that nobody could see except you. You landed face first on the pavement, your shotgun stumbling out of your hands after the hound had nicked your leg just enough to make you fall prey to him. Everyone had been heading for a sport's store that was just along the way, but your cry of pain had made them stop for just a second. You shouted at the top of your lungs for them to go on without you as you tried your hardest to fight off the hound before it was too late. You pulled the knife out from your pocket before the hell hound could sink his teeth into you and drag you away like a dead carcass to show it to his owner. Before either one of you could try and see who would win this fight, you heard a gunshot from the colt go off, wounding the hound.

Dean wasn't going to let you fall behind, while the rest of the group headed for safety, he took his chances at helping you. You quickly grabbed his awaiting hand and pulled yourself to your feet, you tried your hardest to ignore the stinging feeling in your ankle as you made it to the safe haven Sam and Ellen had found. But it seemed you weren’t out of trouble just yet. Jo had strayed away from the store when she spotted a hound coming for you, and while she tried to warn you, it was too late, so she decided to take action. She raced forward to the two of you, and at what she thought was a safe distance, she took her shot at the hound. You looked over your shoulder to see that the hound was wounded momentarily, but it decided that for right now you could slip away, for it had another target on its mind. Your eyes widened in fear as you screamed Jo's name on the top of her lungs to get back when you saw the animal coming for her. But it was too late.

You watched in horror as another hound came out from nowhere, and without a drop of remorse, he sunk his claw into the woman's hipbone, dragging his nails into her skin and sending her flying down to the ground. As she cried out in pain and tumbled to the pavement, you somehow realized how to function as a hunter again. You pushed Dean away from you and snatched your shotgun from the ground so you could take a shot at one of the hounds that was tempted to make a move on you as his friend was about to attack again. Ellen had witnessed everything happened. You could hear the woman shout her daughter’s name with horror as Dean raced over to help Jo. You tried your best to fight off the hounds as you took shot after shot to get them to back off. Your mind only focused on survival as you backed dangerously fast to the store, and avoiding the trail of blood that lead directly to the store as you took off your last shot before stumbling inside to freedom.

Neither you or Sam wasted a second when you slammed the door shut and pressed your back against it, keeping the hell hounds at bay for a second as the younger Winchester reached to grab a thick metal chain. You stepped away so Sam could wrap the chains around the handle of the door and give you all a bit of safety. But it wasn’t safe here. Chaos was rising between everyone as Dean tried to gently lay down Jo to the ground and propped her against the counter as Ellen was following close behind. She tended to her bleeding daughter as you found yourself rushing forward to see how bad the damage was. You dropped yourself to your knees and tried to see how Jo was doing, but all you could see was blood. It was covering the tiled floors and Ellen’s hands. You shrugged off your jacket and quickly gave it to the woman, hopeful that it might help at least keep the wounds from draining out anymore blood if you could help it.

"All right, okay, okay. Breathe, breathe, breathe." Ellen told her daughter as she pressed harder against the wound. Jo tried her hardest to tell the both of you she was fine, but she was far from it. She was starting to become dizzy from the blood loss as she was sweating, all of which weren't good signs. "Boys, need some help!"

But they were a little busy right now. You pressed harder against Jo's wound as the brothers grabbed whatever rock salt they could find, making sure to cover every single crack of this place, building a fortress that would keep out any possible threat. While you could hear the growling from outside slowly die down, their damage was still going strong in here. Ellen slowly moved your hand away, saying something about how she wanted to inspect the wound for just a second. The boys had raced straight forward when everything was done to see what was going on here. You swallowed and did what you were told, allowing your, now bloodied, hands to hover as Ellen slowly forced herself to lift her own to inspect the wound. You could feel yourself let out a sharp gasp of surprise at how deep the gashes were.

“Oh, God.” You accidentally muttered underneath your breath.

It was bad, worse than you had anticipated. Jo's wounds were deep enough for blood to keep gushing out when Ellen took the slightest pressure off as Jo let out a whimpering noise of pain. You could feel yourself instinctively pressing back down on the wound again before she could lose anymore fluids. At this moment you needed to be strong and level headed, but when you looked up at Jo, who knew how bad her wounds were, you gave her a wobbly smile, despite being on the brink of tears. You told her that everything was going to be all right. Maybe it was for her to think there was a chance at getting here alive...or for your guilty conscience for leading everyone here.

+ + +

You busied yourself over the past hour to help Ellen the best you could to help find all the supplies you would need for to cover her daughter's wounds so she wouldn't risk the chances of getting an infection or losing any more blood. Jo was stable now after you found some ace bandages and some clean towels that were soft enough to makeshift for medical attention she desperately needed. Despite being in tremendous pain, Jo didn't complain, she just laid against the counter with her legs outstretched as Ellen did everything she could to ease the suffering best to her ability. You hadn't moved from Jo's side since you had gotten here, and while your legs we're starting to cramp, you felt the obligation to stay by her side and tend to any need she might have. You kept her mind busy and forced her to stay awake by asking her how hunting had been with her mom and told a couple funny stories about Cas to help lighten the mood. Jo had gotten a kick at hearing about the angel's attempt of losing his v-card in a brothel to a prostitute named Chastity, but it seemed he wasn't smooth with the ladies. She tried to laugh when you told her about how the girl lost it when he brought up her buried daddy issues, yet the slightest shift in movement caused her to let out a wince of pain.

Sam had been around every once in a while to see how things were going and to check on the salt lines to make sure it was in check. Dean had kept to himself since all of you were put on lock down. He searched around the store until he found a portable radio and some batteries to make the thing work. You looked away from the women as Sam headed over to his brother so the both of them could have a private conversation about how seriously screwed all of you were. All of you were trapped like rats as Cas was probably in the same predicament, not to mention, the Devil himself was here. While it was good to know this plan might just work out, the concern right now was to get out of here before anyone else could get hurt.

You were pulled from your thoughts at the faint noise of squeaking coming from the radio Dean had been tinkering with over the past few minutes. Sam wandered over when Ellen called out for a pair of hands that weren't covered in blood. You glanced down to see that your clothes and hands were stained red, the sight of it made you feel another wave of nausea when you inhaled the deep rich copper smell. You pulled your attention away from the mess when you heard Dean speak, and even from your spot across the small store, you heard a voice that suddenly felt like music to your ears. "Bobby, it's Dean. We got problems." "It's okay, boy. That's why I'm here." Bobby comforted the older Winchester, knowing even with his voice strained as he tried to be hard, there was no denying the fear in Dean's voice. "Is everyone all right?" Dean paused for a moment when he heard the question. You watched as he looked over his shoulder to stare at the situation that had been slowly unfolding, he shifted his gaze to see that you and Ellen were doing everything you could to keep Jo in at least stable condition. While you had tried to remain optimistic that things were going to be fine for the woman, Dean had seen more of this lifestyle, and he knew a bad situation when he saw one. “No.” Dean answered as he looked backed to the other side of the store, turning his back again on the four of you. He tried keeping his voice hush when he spoke the devastating news. “Uh, i-it’s—it’s Jo. Bobby, it’s pretty bad.”

“Okay. Copy that.” Bobby replied after a second of silence of his own, needing to take some time to process the worst case scenario that was unraveling. “So now we figure out what we do next.”

“Bobby,” Dean muttered the hunter’s name as he tried his hardest to tell him what happened. He didn’t need to see her wounds to figure out this wasn’t going to end well. He had to pause again so he could force the words out of his mouth, but saying it would mean that this was actually happening. “Bobby, I don’t think she’s—”

But he couldn’t do it. Dean took his finger off the button and stopped himself. He stared across the room and focused on anything with his vision starting to grow the slightest bit blurry as he tried his hardest not to break down. He always forced himself to be the leader of the group, it was a role that came naturally to him. Dean would rather stay in charge so things could go his way. But with this situation, he couldn’t. He was pinned in place like the little fly trapped in the spider’s web. He was being forced to watch one of his closest friends suffer, and he couldn’t do anything to fix it.

“I said, ‘What do we do next,’ Dean.” Bobby said. His tone was serious as he forced the older Winchester to start focusing on the situation he was being dealt with. Dean let out a heavy breath as he bent his head down to rub his eyes from the stress. But like a good leader, the man sucked in his internal pain, and jumped back into the conversation. “Now...tell me what you got.” Dean told him the little progress that all of you had been making. The only lead you had was something about reapers Cas mentioned about wanting to talk to. But that had been what felt like an entire lifetime ago. “Before he went missing, did Cas say how many reapers?”

“I-I don’t know. He said a lot of things, I guess.” Dean muttered with a solemn tone. “I mean, does the number matter?”

You excused yourself from the little group when you tried to be of assistance for someone else when you heard Dean getting frustrated about how Bobby was focusing on something that seemed so little of importance, right now. But it was the devil in the details. You walked over to Dean and tapped the back of your hand against his arm, catching his attention. You nodded your head to the walkie-talkie to you could speak to the man. "Bobby, it's Y/N." You said. “The way he was looking, the number of places Cas’ eyes went, I’d say we’re talking over a dozen reapers—probably more.”

“I don’t like the sound of that.” Bobby said, you found yourself rolling your eyes at his response.

“Nobody like the sound of that, Bobby.” Dean told the man. “But what—what does that sound like?”

“It sounds like death, kids.” Bobby answered him. You furrowed your brow as you locked eyes with the man standing in front of you. Neither one of you would had a good feeling about this. “I think Satan’s in town to work a ritual. I think he’s planning to unleash Death.”

"You mean, like," Dean tried wrapping his head at what he was being told. "This dude and taxes are the only sure thing?"

"As in Death—the horseman, the pale rider in the flesh." Bobby said, being more specific.

You let out a quiet sigh from what you were hearing as you turned your head slightly to look at Jo from the corner of your eye. "'Unleash'? I mean, h-hasn't death been tromping all over the place?" Dean asked. "I mean, hell, Y/N and I've died several times ourselves."

"Not this guy. This is—this is the Angel of Death, big daddy reaper. They keep this guy chained in a box six hundred feet under. Last time they hauled him up, Noah was building a boat." Bobby explained the situation to you and Dean. You heard him pause for a moment, as if he was thinking to himself. It seemed that he figured out an answer to a problem that was so little compared to what you had going on here."That's why the place is crawling with reapers. They're waiting on the big boss to show up."

The Devil himself and the Angel of Death all in one town. As if things couldn't have gotten any worse. You placed the back of your hand against your forehead as you shifted around slightly in your spot, turning your back on everyone so you could wrap your mind around what the hell was going on. You tilted your head up slightly as your eyes slowly shifted upwards to the ceiling. This...this was beginning to become too much for you to handle. You inhaled a deep breath breath through your mouth, trying your hardest to compose yourself. Dean tried lifting up the mood by asking the other hunter if he had any good news to spare.

"Well, in a manner of speaking. I've been researching Carthage since you've been gone, trying to suss out what the Devil might want there. What you just said drops the last piece of the puzzle in place." Bobby explained to the both of you. You turned around in your spot to hear what the man had to say after you gotten your emotions under control for now. "The angel of death must be brought into this world at midnight through a place of awful carnage. Now, back during the civil war, there was a battle in Carthage—a battle so intense, the soldiers called it 'The Battle of the Hellhole.'"

"Where'd the massacre go down?" Dean asked, seeming intrigued at this new information.

"On the land of William Jasper's farm." Bobby said.

You and the older Winchester's locked eyes when you heard the exact location of where the Devil would be tonight. You shrugged your shoulders slightly as you forced yourself to give the tiniest bit of a smile, thinking this was the little fraction of optimism you needed to get through these next challenging hours. But you knew. You knew this wasn’t going to end the way you wanted.

This situation had reminded you of when you were about to go to hell, when you were trapped in your own body as Lilith took control, everything was about to get worse. You knew it was going to end. You found yourself starting to remember an old poem that Dante Alighieri had written about his character's journey through all nine circles of Hell.

Through me you pass into the city of woe: Through me you pass into eternal pain: Through me among the people lost for aye. Justice the founder of my fabric moved: To rear me was the task of Power divine, Supremest Wisdom, and primeval Love. Before me things create were none, save things Eternal, and eternal I endure. Abandon all hope, ye who enter here.

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