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lovelycleon · 3 years

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So I decided to make an analysis about the last scene of Infinite Darkness

But before I start with the fun part, I just want to tell you that my history with “angst ships”

I had a bad experience with another ship, soul mates full of angst tropes and true love, beautiful... and a really bad ending because the showrunner fought with the actors (I wasted years watching and I regret it).

Anyway, after suffering that kind of pain, no other ships and angst scenes can hit me hard enough. I'm numb or just got used to it. You choose.

So maybe the scene of Leon and Claire's argument wasn't that impactful for me because of that. But for all the fans who felt hurt, I understand and it's okay to feel that way, because the scene was meant to hurt. The scene exists because of that. And your feelings are valid.

So let's get to the fun part.

spoiler alert, it's not that fun, it actually hurts 😅

The scene starts with Leon going to meet Claire at the gates of the White House.

I don't think anyone denies the fact that, whatever Leon is doing, he just wants to protect Claire. And he doesn't want her involved because of it.

But this dialogue makes this even more evident if we analyze how it begins.

Nothing in a show or movie is by accident. Everything is handpicked for one reason or another. The meaning is not always that deep, but there is still a meaning behind it all.

So when – of all the ways a conversation can be started – they decide to make Claire joke that she sneaked out of the hospital, Leon takes it seriously and she has to clarify that it's a joke, there's a reason:

Show that Leon is taking what happened to her too serious, and Claire not that much.

When Claire makes a comment about when he's going to stop treating her like a kid and he says probably never. There's a reason:

Show that Leon wants to protect her (or being overprotective) and Claire doesn't like it.

Of course, some might argue that this specific line is capcom trying to show that their feelings aren't romantic and sink the ship completely. And, ok, people are free to think that.

But if they really wanted to sink cleon forever, they shouldn't have done the scene of Leon saving Claire the way they did. They did it because they knew it would tease a certain part of the fans... They knew exactly what they were doing...

And there's simply no reason to tease a ship you want to sink.

So no, I don't think that's it...

For me the scene means the classic and simple: "stop being worried about me🙄" "noooo🗣️"

Another way to intensify Leon being overprotective is Claire's broken arm. A reminder that she was injured following his plan. Just as she was hurt the last time they saw each other in Harvardville.

And yes, I know Degeneration made Claire hurt to take her out of the action. It is undeniable. But somehow I don't think the same situation and reason applies to Infinite darkness.

Because Claire was already out of combat, following Leon's plan and showing no intention of doing anything different. It's not like she's going to attack the monster that is several platforms higher than where she is. She couldn't fly around and there were no guns where she was anyway.

So why hurt her to get her out of combat if the story itself has already done that?

Again, you are free to think differently. Capcom made Claire dirty, she was underestimated and they wasted her potential. I won't argue with that, I'm also on the team Claire deserves better.

I just don't think it fits this specific situation.

The injured arm is there and a awkward conversation about Leon being overprotective starts because of it. I think it makes sense.

So moving on.

Claire mentions the chip and Leon looks disappointed for a moment and says he thought they were going to dinner.

This is to indicate that he didn't come to see her with the intention of breaking their friendship. Leon just wanted to spend a good time with her and nothing more. Some place a little more normal, maybe?👀

But Claire wants the chip and tells Leon her plan. The same plan that Shen May was killed trying to convince her partner to follow. Is there a parallel here?

The only difference is that Jason broke her neck while Leon decided to break Claire's heart.

Okay now I could show more parallels between them, but I won't because this is already too long and I know maybe I'm reading too much into this. Resident Evil isn't that deep most of the time 😂

Anyway, Claire asked for the chip and Leon said no.

And that's the point, right.

The climax of the conversation and the turning point in their relationship.

Note that Leon took a few seconds to say he couldn't. That was the moment when he made his decision...

He went to meet her for dinner, remember? He didn't expect to have this conversation or make a decision like that. But he had to.

Now, I'm not from the US and I don't trust politicians in general, fiction or not. But I admit this sounds realistic.

Just imagine if the president makes a speech about peace and prosperity and whatever and the next day the media reveals that members of the government are involved in BOW and planning an attack on another country.

At the very least, it won't look good.

In the worst case, it will be a catastrophe 😂

So... I don't agree with Leon, but I understand why he chose this.

It's an important decision, however. And how long it takes him to say something and how he's quiet after saying it shows he knows what's on the line. Not just the security of the country and “peace”, but also his relationship with Claire.

And despite everything... He didn't lie to her.

It would be much easier for Leon to simply say "the chip was destroyed in the fight" when she asked. Claire would never know about it and probably never doubt him. And they would still be fine with each other and having dinner.

But he didn't lie. Why?

Because their relationship is not based on lies. And it's not based on betrayals.

And while it may be hard to believe right now and it hurts to think about it, this relationship is still based on truth and trust in each other. And now their relationship is being tested.

It's easy to trust someone you're on good terms. How hard it must be to trust someone who has let you down.

There is a lot of room for development here.

Obviously Claire felt hurt in this moment. Maybe even betrayed. Heartbroken. I think we all feel that same way.

But Leon played fair there. He said he had the chip, showed it to her, and then said he wouldn't give it to her.

He was honest with her. And this act also shows respect.

They are two people with different points of view and that truth hurts.

There is silence as they look at each other. She never asked his reasons and he obviously never told them. The exchange of glances is enough for them to understand what was happening.

When Claire says “you do things your way and I do mine” it's almost like “do you know what that means? ”

Then Leon nods and another moment of silence. The time they need to accept that the relationship is broken.

Now that's angst

Interesting choice of camera angle. Showing her broken arm as a visual reminder of why he was pushing her away like that.

Claire leaves, but looks back and says again that his outfit doesn't suit him.

What's interesting here is that the director has done a few interviews over the past few weeks and he always said that the suit is a representation of Leon's position in government.

Claire commenting that it doesn't suit him is basically the writers/producers/directors admitting that this position doesn't look good.

And while all the characters praising Leon for his success, Claire is the one who sees this reality and who he truly is out of the suit (position)

And that's good angst.

Claire walks away and Leon with a sad look watching her leave and he has to say to himself "I will stop this".

Could it be just one of his one-lines? Yes.

Could it be a way for him to remind himself why he's doing this, even if it means sacrificing his relationship with Claire?

It's already done, now he has to make it worth it.

Whatever happens after that is a mystery.

I don't think Claire believes that Leon is going to cover up the government's involvement in things (their discussion would be much more intense if that were the case), she probably thinks he's going to resolve it internally without taking anything public, which is precisely what she wants to do.

I also don't think Leon believes Claire is going to give up on the investigation, he probably thinks it's going to take some time to her to get real evidence and he has time to carry out his plans.

But this is capcom... They are masters of forgetting plot points. So who knows.

Angst is only good if it has a good closure. I hope they keep that in mind.

In any other tv show that used this kind of angst trope and drama I would be completely fine...

I would expect a sequel to this plot. The characters find each other unexpectedly, having to work together and acting awkwardly because they don't know how to stick around each other after the argument. Then the story would develop and they would gradually mend their relationship.

That's the trope.

So that's all I can hope for.

#cleon #this just got too long and l didn't write half of my thought 😅#I only watch the show once but I've seen this scene a thousand times #I'll probably have more to say after rewatching everything again #leon kennedy #claire redfield #resident evil infinite darkness #leon x claire #claire x leon

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lovelywingsart · 3 years

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Hopeful Future

-- Karl Heisenberg X OC (AFAB, She/They) --

Something short and sweet... This was also one of my favorites to write <3 This is also one of many where you can tell my strong suit is dialogue. ouo'' Anyway, enjoy some more cuteness from them- you'll need it.

**Remember, check out the Masterlist for more! <3 **

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*Warning?: Some self doubt, comfort, cuddles, kisses, just being relatively sweet

Summary: The date is set, but Emelia is experiencing a pretty bad case of nerves. She won't say it, but Karl seems to notice, and gives his own form of comfort. The start of a hopeful future has begun, and they can only hope all goes to plan.

The outside building was... quiet, for once, even with the distant sound of machinery. These times were rare, especially recently. Emelia lay cuddled against Heisenberg on the mattress-like cushion kept on the second floor, relaxed enough to almost sleep as her fingers traced over the scars on his chest. His breaths came as low rumbles as he kept his arm under her, curled around her back to tap at her shoulder. She wore his shirt, as always, thoroughly enjoying his warmth and the calm that his 'purring' gave her. So much had gotten done... Planning, construction, even small bits of 'fun' thrown in for a sort of stress relief. Production had increased thanks to recent expansions since the big meeting, and their plan was set once the news of Miranda's discovery of a new vessel had come out. However, due to this, tension, Emelias tension specifically, had been high. She wouldn't admit she was nervous... Especially not to him. Talks of overthrowing or simply killing Miranda had been increasingly common, and the man seemed more ecstatic than usual. Even if he was dead tired, his mood had increased tenfold once he realized just how close they were. Somehow, the thought of that excitement disappearing because of her was something that she found... distasteful.

And so, she stayed silent, heavily preferring to be cuddled against him in what little calm and silence they had. But it still gnawed at the back of her mind, and she unintentionally let out a quiet huff. He took notice, moving his arm slightly under her to simply hold her shoulder. She glanced up at him as he shifted under her head, only to meet a curious gaze.

"Hm?" He hummed quietly, only giving a slight smile as she shook her head and looked away. She wanted to say something... She just didn't know what or how

There was silence for a moment before she quietly spoke up.

"... Karl...?"

He tilted his head, glancing at her once more. "Yes, Emmy?"

"What..." she started, faltering just slightly, "... What will we do? Once Miranda is dead, I mean..."

Her voice held a genuine, scared curiosity as she looked up at him fully. He couldn't help but raise his brows in the slightest bit of surprise. She kept her fingers moving along his chest as she felt him adjust his arm again so he could run his fingers through her currently loose hair. He chuckled.

"Well, we do what we want!" He replied happily, leaning his head back once more. "Once that bitch is dead, I-..." he paused quickly before grinning. "WE will be free. Free to live, free to thrive. We won't be under her thumb. We do whatever the hell we want to do, Emmy."

"Free to live..." she repeated, her fingers mindlessly drifting along his skin. She paused her movements once the words fully settled. Never once did she realize how close freedom was... Not once did she realize exactly what freedom MEANT. The had talked about it from the first few months of her arrival years ago, but the concept now was... odd. "We'll be free... That means..."

"That means you can live a normal life." Heisenberg chuckled, watching her reactions carefully. "It IS what you've wanted, yes?"

Emelia stared at his chest for a moment before suddenly pushing herself up into a sitting position, ignoring the uncomfortable grunt she received as she left the comfort of his arm. She was silent, lifting her right arm and staring at her hand. 'Normal'... Why did the word sound so... impossible now? Sure, her dream of normalcy had stayed with her. But did 'normal' even exist at this point? She was a fucking mutant, for god sakes... She had accepted it years ago, of course, but...

"I can't live 'normally' anymore..." she sighed finally, reaching to rub the back of her neck. There was a small flutter in her chest as if the parasite sensed her silent distress. She could feel Heisenbergs eyes nearly bore holes into her back, turning her head away as she felt him sit up with another grunt. He settled himself into a sitting position, resting an arm over his leg.

"As normally as you can, then." He offered, his voice taking on a lighter tone. He then rolled his eyes with a quiet sigh as she gave a snort of disbelief. She jumped as he reached forward, taking her jaw in his hand and making her face him. "Look at me, Emelia." He said quietly. "We're all a bunch of freaks thanks to that bitch, there's no use being ashamed of it now. But with her dead, the world is OURS! 'Normal' is whatever the hell you make it."

"But the others-"

"Fuck the others!" He laughed suddenly. "They wouldn't know what to do without her direction, they'll fall like useless pawns. And if they don't, they'll scatter like the cowards they are."

Emelia stared at him for a moment with a raised brow before falling back onto the cushion with a huff and closing her eye.

"So you want to rule by yourself, then?" She asked, the slightest bit of amusement in her voice. He looked back at her with a chuckle.

"Well, yes, but not necessarily. We both know what my plans are. But more importantly..." he suddenly twisted himself slightly, leaning over her with his hands on either side of her shoulders. He smirked as a light blush entered her cheeks once she looked up at him, clearly not expecting him to even move. "What do YOU want, Emmy?"

"... What...?" She managed, calming slightly as he tilted his head.

"You're worried about not being 'normal' enough to live that way, and even I know your mind is hard to change. What do you want, then?"

"I..." she started, somewhat stunned. Well, there were a lot of answers to that question... She just didn't expect him to even ask. What DID she want...? He was right... She knew he was. The only issue was, she didn't have an answer for the first time in years. She couldn't have the life she wanted... What the hell COULD she do? She finally sighed, turning her head to the side with her missing eye towards him. "... I don't know..."

"You don't know?"

"N-No, I..." she tried, moving her hand to brush against his just slightly to calm the nerves that had started to show themselves. "I don't have many options."

"And what are the ones you DO have?" He questioned. He shifted his hand for her, allowing her to hold it just slightly. She shrugged.

"Well, I certainly can't return to where I came from before this... If I even knew where to go, that is..." she mumbled, moving her head to look at the room around them. "I'll most definitely be killed if I tried... Or tested on more if caught, god forbid the company remembers me enough to care. Though, I COULD travel..." she said thoughtfully, but she couldn't help but frown slightly at the thought. "... But..."

Heisenberg drew back in interest, arching a brow as she spoke.

"'But'?" He asked, watching her carefully. She shook her head slightly before finally meeting his gaze with a sigh.

"This... This is my home..." she replied quietly, a near sadness in the gold of her eye. "It wouldn't feel right if I left... I'm safe here, and it's not... not lonely. Travelling can't guarantee that."

"I guess that would result in loneliness, wouldn't it?" He asked casually.

She was silent, but nodded. Lonely wasn't exactly what she wanted to be after spending time around others like her now, specifically him. She took a nervous breath and held it for a moment, choosing her next words as carefully as she could. May as well tell him the truth of her thoughts, right...?

"Given the chance, I think..." she started, her voice lowering. "I think I would... stay here." She looked up at him with a slight bit of confidence, meeting his now somewhat surprised expression. "... With you."

She was met with silence before he suddenly let out a genuine laugh, lowering himself onto his elbows for his face to be closer to hers.

"You'd really stay with me, Emmy?" He asked, an amused smile on his face as her face brightened in color. But she soon relaxed, her lips twitching into the smallest smile. She felt much better with this reaction... Much better than she thought she would.

"You're an ignorant twit, Heisenberg..." she joked before chuckling lightly. "But... yes. If... If I could."

She was met with a chuckle from him as he leaned down slightly, his nose brushing against hers.

"Well, of course you can!" He grinned, earning a small laugh. "Hell, if you stay with me, I'll help make life for you normal."

"As 'normal' as possible..." she snorted, though she couldn't keep the smile from her face. The sentiment was... oddly comforting. "You'd really do that for me, Metalhead?"

"Anything for my favorite worker."

"Am I really?"

"Always have been, Emmy."

"Hm... I feel like that's a lie..." she joked, tilting her head slightly. She was met with another chuckle.

"Would I lie to you?" He asked. She shrugged, starting to reach up.

"You hate liars, but that doesn't mean you aren't one..." she replied, her fingers drifting along the scratchy hair of his beard. She felt... calm. Oddly calm, at that... She couldn't have even begun to understand why, even as she stared into the bright pale yellow eyes that she had admittedly, secretly, come to admire. She held his jaw for a moment before tugging him down slightly. He smiled.

"To freedom from Miranda." He said simply, following her movements slowly with a now large grin. Her own smile widened ever so slightly as his lips brushed hers.

"To freedom." She replied, her voice nearly a whisper.

She was met with a surprisingly gentle kiss, letting it settle before fully wrapping her raised arm around his shoulders. She was so used to this... So used to the 'affection'. So used to the quiet and comfort he gave despite the machines around them and even his own personality at times. She felt him chuckle into the kiss as she reached her other arm around his shoulders, and in turn couldn't help herself from doing the same as he pulled away and eased himself into the hug she gave.

"And what was that for?" He asked, amusement in his voice as he moved to press a light kiss against her jaw. She shrugged, a relaxed smile on her face.

"I'm... not sure." She admitted, watching as he propped himself up over her on his elbows once more. "Perhaps that's my 'normal' now..."

"Hm. Well, I hope that counts as the start of a full 'normal' for you from now on..."

Emelia kept her arms around his shoulders, her fingers running along what skin they could reach and tracing over smaller scars.

"Maybe..."

"'Maybe'?"

"You heard me, Metalhead."

Heisenberg laughed again, finally moving to lay down next to her once more and shifting his arm to rest under her head.

"You're always the odd one, Emelia. But please, do me a favor."

She returned to her place on his chest as he shifted, tilting her head slightly.

"Yes, Karl?" She looked up at him, surprised as she was met with a calm smile.

"Never stop smiling." He said simply. While it caught her off guard, she couldn't help but do just that.

"Once this is over with, I won't." She replied.

"You promise?"

She gave a laughing huff, pressing her face to his shoulder.

"Yes."

"Good."

#resident evil #resident evil village #resident evil oc #resident evil village oc #re8 #re8oc #karl heisenberg #lord heisenberg #re8 heisenberg #heisenberg #heisenberg x oc #karl heisenberg x oc #heisenberg fanfiction #lovelywingsart #lovelywingsocs #Metalworks fanfiction #resident evil village fanfiction

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arethereanyoriginalusernames · 4 years

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ZP Fanfiction Review

Hellooo internet! Welcome to GAAAAAAYYY THEORY-

I am so sorry.

Anyway, welcome to what I can only call a test run for a series I've decided to start. For more info, I'd recommend reading my previous post. To give a brief explanation, I criticize written works done by others in order to help myself and others improve, and recently I've turned my attention to ZP fanfiction (as you do). This series is in no way meant to shame anyone or anything like that. I am simply stating my opinion, and anyone reading this can take whatever they want from it.

Now, while I do take requests, for the first few of these posts, I put the titles of random fics that I have read, and pulled one out at random. Since I admittedly haven't asked these writers for permission, if one of them contact me and wish for me to take a review down, I will. Do not send any negative bullshit to anyone whose fics I review.

With that said, I hope you enjoy, because today we're going to look at a fanfiction posted on Wattpad by a Tumblr user known as @thiccdemonlover69-blog. Now, something I want to make clear is that this was written back in 2017. This isn't representative of this user (who I will refer to as TDL) 's current writing abilities. The fic in question is this one here,

So, originally, I was going to do a full synopsis of the story, but I ultimately decided against it. Not only did it make the post longer than it needed to be, but knowing myself, I would undoubtedly leave something out by mistake. Therefore, I encourage you to read the story before continuing this review. I will be going through it chapter by chapter, and I will give my thoughts on each one.

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Chapter 1 "A Normal Day... or so Damian thought "

Not too much to say here since this is an introductory chapter and not much really happens in it. Because of this, however, I thought that I would take the opportunity to address what I already predict will be an elephant in the room.

Like most of us fans, TDL has their Headcanons and theories about the ZP characters. You'll notice in the story that Satan and Damian have a slightly different relationship than in the comic, as Satan is more present in his son's life here. This is just an example of what I'm talking about. Now, I actually don't have a problem with this by itself. I'm all for writers including their own unique ideas in fanfiction, however, I have a problem with some of the changes made by TDL to the characters and setting. There's nothing egregious here, but as we go on, I think you'll be able to understand what I mean.

One positive for this chapter is that it serves its' purpose as an intro very well. We get an idea of the upcoming conflict without it being spelt out.

Chapter 2 "At Hell No. 2 (School)"

Ok, so overall this chapter in itself isn't terrible considering how it introduces the relationships between various characters here and further sets up the upcoming conflict. However, I have to ask some questions about the characters. First, I've noticed that throughout the story, certain characters that you'd expect to make an appearance I guess just don't exist here. Sahara and Narissa (Dame's mum), for instance, have apparently been snapped by Thanos. Meanwhile, some characters have noticeably different personalities. Jack, for instance, is much less shy and passive and has more or less taken on Zill's personality. Also, I guess he and Dame are buds now. Kayla... is a whole topic that I will touch on later. Eli wasn't introduced in the comic, and the best we have is his character sheet, so I guess he's ok here? Addi is in character, Autumn barely exists, Zill... just kind of exists? Finally, Dame has had a few weird changes to him that I'll touch on in a bit.

Ch. 3 "A Not-So-Normal School day"

Ok, so let's talk about Kayla real quick, shall we?

A common sin committed by inexperienced writers is the tendency to villanize characters in order to push the narrative forward. In this story, Kayla is practically cartoonish in how awful she is. She's physically harmful, a bitch, a homophobe, and is overpossesive of Zill. I get the idea that TDL doesn't like Kayla, because to me it seems like she was turned into a bitchy Leeson. Now, Kayla in cannon can get frustrated and angry at times, but for the most part, she's a nice person. She's the type to defend others against bullying, and would never bully someone else. Not only that, but I don't buy this version of Kayla because canonically she's scared of Dame. His appearance alone is enough to make her yeet herself across the room. If she did something such as knocking something of his off his desk, she'd probably panic.

I can only imagine two reasons why she was changed in such a way. One, to have Damian not crush on her. Now, if this is the case, I don't think villainizing Kayla is necessary. You can just say that Damian outgrew his crush on her and be done with it. Two, is to create drama. If this is the case, is Kayla really the best candidate for the drama causer here? I wouldn't think so, and you could probably replace Kayla with someone who'd be more likely to bully someone, like Rusty or Baltimore or something.

Aside from Kayla, another problem I want to mention is that art class scene. Addi's mum getting a minor to pose nude in front of his class is actually kind of creepy, and I don't believe that it would be aloud.

Chapter 4. "The Second, more worst bully"

First of all, that title could use a rewrite.

This chapter mainly exists so the story can show how much of a bitch Kayla is now, and I've already spoken about that. I will mention some positives, however. Something I like in this story is whenever TDL adds in little details like characters having secret handshakes or characters eating dinosaur nuggets. I know this seems small, but this random little specifics give the story a cute, quirky charm that I am here for.

Chapter 5. "The Moment Damian has Been Waiting for "

Not too much goes on in this chapter. We get some funny bit of dialogue ("Ooh, is that drama I see" made me crack up) and a wierd scene where Dame is suddenly One Punch Man, and he cracks Jack's skull open by simply bonking him on the back of the head.

Since there's not much to say, I want to take the opportunity to talk about Damian in this story. First, again, I don't have an issue with writers adding in their ideas to their fics. The whole thing with him being a cross dresser? Cool. That's it. That is my entire thought on that.

There are some other changes that confuse me, however. For instance, the ADHD is integrated really weirdly. It gets brought up at really random times, nothing is really done with it, and overall it just seems to serve as a reason for Dame acting hyper. The story could have just had one line that said "Damian has ADHD " and nothing would have changed.

Another thing, and this isn't something exclusive to TDL, but apparently Damian is homosexual. Not bi, just gay. This is a change I actually see a lot of the time with Dame, and I don't know why. Like... is it so difficult to imagine him liking more than one gender? Do you think that he needs to be gay in order to be in a homosexual relationship? Because he doesn't. Bisexuals can do the same thing as gays. It's just such a random change that it just bugs me.

There's also the fact that Damian is apparently amazing at everything. He's an A plus student, a great actor, a great artist, etc. I'm not sure what TDL is going for with this angle. It's something else that just seems random, because the only thing that this does is make teachers confused about why Dame is sad and it makes other characters freak out about how brilliant Damian is.

Chapter 6. "The Date"

Ok, let's all just admit it. Damian going "RIBS RIBS RIBS RIBS..." is in one way or another a fucking mood for everyone. Don't you fucking lie to me.

The interactions between Eli and Dame are mostly cute, and we get some funny dialogue here too. The one issue I have is something not exclusive to this chapter, and it's how Damian is kind of treated like a child. Characters talk about him like his a little kid, and even the way Eli talks to him to calm him down in this chapter is (to me) reminiscent of a babysitter dealing with a hyperactive kid. I bring this up now because I want you all to remember this. It will get creepy later on...

Chapter 7. "The crazy household of Damian "

Easily my favorite chapter.

We still get bits where Dame is kind of treated like a child, but it's barely noticeable here. TDL is actually pretty good at writing wholesome scenes and scenes where a couple characters are just hanging out. This chapter actually reminded me of events that happened in my own life, so believe it or not, I actually got a nostalgia hit reading this. This chapter just put a smile on my face. Shame that it came right before the worst chapter. Buckle in kids.

Chapter "It's Time... and Absolutely Everything goes to shit"

What a fitting title!

First, let's talk about how not a lot in this chapter makes sense. Ok, so everyone knows that Kayla doesn't like Dame and shit could go down if they ever cross paths. And yet, they bring Damian to a party at Kayla's house, and act surprised when shit hits the fan. This happens again when Damian tries to talk to Kayla, and she spits in his drink. I don't know what any of these characters were expecting. There's a weird focus on food in this chapter. Kayla ironically becomes a badass because she decks someone and immediately follows that up by heading off to pop lock and drop it on the dance floor. Zill exists, and he's drunk. He makes out with Damian because.... Kayla's a homophobe? I think that's the reason? Jack literally gets into a fucking wrestling match with Kayla. Rusty is just here. Eli disappears for a while, and I guess Addi just teleported out of the party because the only contribution that he makes is that he messes up the time.

Ok, my favorite scene here is when Dame is like "oh I don't wanna dance bc I sad" and Rusty just shows up for some reason and remarks very loudly that Damian is good at ballet. This info is so shocking, the DJ, who somehow heard this over the music, turns off the tunes, there's awkward silence, and then everyone laughs at Damian. No. I don't get it either. Like... how did anyone hear Rusty, how fucking loud was Rusty talking, how did people know who Rusty was referring to, why is the concept that a dude does ballet so shocking, especially when you'd think that the fact that he's the antichrist is more shocking? Like... am I just having a fucking stroke right now?

Oh, and remember how I mentioned how Damian is treated like a child in this story? Remember how Damian is a teenager, and in other words, a minor? So, apparently, not only do we learn that Damian once got a boner but his father spanking him, but apparently Styx, an adult, has had sex with Damian on multiple occasions. And yes, this info is revealed in throwaway lines. If you listen closely, you can faintly make out the sound of someone screaming "FBI, OPEN UP!"

Granted, TDL was a teen at the time of writing this, so no big whoop on their part. Still doesn't make this any less creepy.

Oh yeah, and Damian fucking dies at the end except he doesn't because plot twist, bitch! We were reading a Steven Universe fanfiction the entire time! Ok, no, this is actually another Headcanon by TDL, but st this rate, between the Headcanons which anyone who doesn't know TDL would be confused by and the characters acting weirdly, I am honestly having trouble saying for sure if this fic takes place in the comic's setting, or in some type of AU.

For brevity's sake, I'll just go over the last two chapters. Tldr, Damian is fine, Lucifer gets Kayla expelled, Kayla get tortured, Lucifer is super happy with himself, and everyone lives happily ever after.

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If I had to sum up my feelings on this story, the first half for me is a mixed bag. It has its' glaring problems, but the humor and writing style make the fic endearing and enjoyable. If the story ended at "the Date ", I would have thoroughly enjoyed it. But then everything just kind of falls off the rails. Stuff happens because... well I guess just because. We get an unintentionally creepy ending to an otherwise wholesome trip, and the Headcanons included here are put in so randomly with no explanation that I can only imagine what someone who didn't have any context to them would say.

The thing is, I think that this fic actually gives a good example of a lot of problems beginners have. I'm certain that TDL nowadays could write a better story, and they certainly have potential. Hell, if one were to fix a few things in here, this fic would be a lot better.

Still, I hope that this review gives you at least a couple ideas of what to look for in some of your own stories. Also, feel free to tell me what you think.

I apologize for wasting your time.

- ATOUN

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nbstevonnie · 2 years

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these games were all finished before 2022 so it counts okay!

with some reshuffling (cheating) i've managed to get a few games on the card that otherwise were not going to make it on.

for subtitle: portal stories: mel

if you like portal 2 and you want more of it, this is easily a first stop for you. the game has its problems (my main one being that the intro is way WAY too long - it's basically a 20 minute walking simulator which i have to tilt my head and squint to even find any redeeming quality for it), but once it gets going, it is very good at playing in the sandbox of portal 2. it basically says: hey, you know all that stuff you learnt? let's see how far we can push it. it also comes with a story and voice acting, which i was very impressed at for a free fan-made game.

7/10

for realistic: portal reloaded

what portal reloaded lacks compared to portal stories: mel, it more than makes up for in the way it recreates the mind-bending feeling of working with portals for the first time. the gimmick here is that, as well as the normal two portals, you have a time (!) portal. this means you can hold up to FIVE portals at a time. (it takes some time to get your head around but two portals in the present + two portals in the future + time portal = five portals.) it seems clear to me that the creator thought A LOT about what rules this would need and how this would affect things and for the most part does an excellent job of teaching the player how these rules work in the same way portal/portal 2 did: slowly introducing one piece at a time and letting the player test things out for themselves.

9/10

for sacrifice: subsurface circular

i get the impression this is just one of those games that was not for me. it was fine - i enjoyed the experience, but the ending fell a little flat for me and made me realise that there wasn't much individual experience to the game, if that makes sense? it was sort of like the walking dead in that my choices didn't seem to impact the game much, but at least with the walking dead, even knowing that was the case, i still thought a lot about what my choices meant for the characters and who that made me. without that, being able to pick any old dialogue without much thought, i felt ultimately underwhelmed.

2/10

for one word: deltarune

do i even need to say much here? loved it, even replayed several hours of it right after i finished because i missed the secret boss :)

if i had one complaint, it would be not nearly enough lancer :(

on a strictly neutral note, loads of people seemed to like the spamtom boss more than/find it harder than jevil but i completed spamton i think on the second or third try? the worst thing about it was honestly the cups back up, the fight itself always felt very doable. jevil on the other hand? woof.

9/10

for transformation: yakuza 0

my reason for putting this one here is that this is the prequel to the yakuza series, and so i think it's all about how the characters of that series became the people they are today. (though I wouldn't know as this was my entry into the series.)

wow, this game blew me away. i spent literally 200+ hours on it and i am usually the sort of person to look at those kinds of numbers and think why would i ever spend that amount of time on something? but this game seriously hit my completionist side and love of emotional stories and also just the whole dorky attitude of it.

(also i fell in love with a video game character but let's not talk about that.)

my only complaint about this game is that the first chapter particularly was WAY too much cutscene. i think the first time i was able to save it told me i'd been playing for two hours and i was like.... bro i think i've had actual control of the character for 20 mins tops. anyway once i was let free on the city it was a lot better bc i was roughly in control of when the cutscenes would happen so while they could still be quite long (i mean, so long that the game literally paused because there had been no input to my controller for too long), it felt like i was getting a lot more bang for my buck.

i'll cut myself off here before i start going on about everything i loved about this game (which might take several paragraphs), but i'm definitely curious now about going into the main series. a lot of stuff in this game was references to things that were going to happen (e.g. "you get a strange feeling you'll see this guy again some day", the fortune teller who tells you you'll have, i think it was 7 children??), a lot of the specifics of which went over my head but I could see it was obviously a reference to the series as a whole. anyway, i'm looking forward to getting to uncover those gems in reverse (as in, for people familiar with the series playing yakuza 0, they get the 'hey, i see what you did there :)' kick playing yakuza 0, but i'll get the 'oh so that's what that was referencing :)' when playing the rest of the series).

9/10

#video game bingo #been debating about whether to put games i played with friends on here too e.g. human fall flat #still haven't decided #if it helps me get a bingo this year (last year) maybe i will ;)

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l3nsman · 7 years

Text

Where babies come from...

Wattpad Link

Rated: T+ (Mild Swearing and implied adult situations)

Word Count: 6.000

So, this is my entry for @narutofanfic “Bland Period Contest”. It’s actually an idea I had for the the fifth chapter of “My Right Hand” fanfic, but I decided to rework it into a one-shot for the contest. I will edit it and add it to “My Right Hand” when the time comes. @sasaki-nh, @entou and @commanderkurama I hope you will still enjoy it!

The story is inspired by a scene on a doujin made by PixIV artist Izumi which features “Amputee Naruto” bumping into Hinata carrying a child and get seriously confused about it. It’s a short cute scene and doesn’t actually get anywhere in the original doujin, but I wanted to do something more with it!

'Thought'

"Dialogue"

Kurama

A million thoughts per second were passing through Naruto's head as the shock of what he was observing turned into blind panic. How could this happen? Why did this happen? How come he never knew anything about this? How come he never noticed? How come he never heard?

Hinata has a child??!

He rubbed his eyes and readjusted them hoping that what he was looking at was some sort of optical illusion. A genjutsu applied to him by a cruel rival.

"Dispel!" he angrily said as his left hand performed the basic genjutsu dispelling hand-seal.

Nope. Not an illusion.

Hinata was still standing in front of him with a kid tied around her waist on a sling, carrying it and lovingly smiling at it as it hugged her and suckled on her neck. She was holding a couple of bags filled with groceries.

The image was incredibly cute on its own, but to Naruto it caused an insurmountable amount of pain.

He looked at the kid that Hinata was carrying. It was a little girl a bit older than two. Two and a half at most.

The gears inside Naruto's head started to move. Two and a half years old. This meant she met the child's father before the war. Maybe a little bit after Pein's invasion.

Around the time she told him she loved him.

Feelings of bitterness and betrayal started to surface. Sure he never answered her confession, and she probably didn't mean that she loved him in a romantic sort of way, but the mere thought that she had another man's child during that time...

Who was the father? How come he never heard anything about this, until now?

He had to get to the bottom of this!

He gritted his teeth and approached the white-eyed kunoichi as calmly as he could. He tried to appear as calm as possible considering the circumstances.

"H-hey Hinata!"

Dammit! He couldn't prevent his voice from stuttering. He meant to sound cheerful and confident, but seeing Hinata carrying another man's child...

Still, it was enough to attract Hinata's attention.

"Oh! Naruto-kun!"

Her face brightened up like the sun and smiled warmly as she dashed towards him, her bags still in her hands.

It only made Naruto more angry at her. How could she smile like this when she was carrying another man's child! Shouldn't she be embarrassed or something?

Okay, she shouldn't, she wasn't his girlfriend or his wife or anything.

It still hurt though.

"Imagine meeting you here."

"Yeah. Imagine that. Bumping into you like this..."

That was a bold-faced lie. When he was informed that Hinata had returned early to the village from her mission with Team Eight, he used his Sage mode to track her down. He really wanted to spend some time with her. Ever since she started taking care of him, helping him adjust to life with one arm (that damn prosthetic wouldn't be ready for a few more months at least) he had grown to be quite attached to her. She was becoming a part of him and he actively sought to spend as much time with her as he could.

He couldn't quite explain it. Being around her made him feel so much warmth and joy...

But warmth and joy was not what he was feeling right now.

'Hinata was carrying another man's child! How can this be happening!?'

"Naruto-kun, is something wrong?"

"No! No! Why are you asking that?"

"Your face is all... sad... did something happen?"

Naruto mentally chastised himself. Of course Hinata would notice something was wrong with him. All this time they were spending together, her training him and helping him deal living with one arm. She had learned to easily pick up his moods and read him like an open book.

The white-eyed kunoichi noticed Naruto eyeing the child that she was carrying.

"Oh, you two haven't met before, have you? Naruto, this is Mirai-chan."

"Mirai... chan...?"

"Yes, Kurenai-sensei's daughter! Her normal babysitter has a really nasty cold and Team Eight is covering for her until she recovers and is able to safely resume her duties."

Naruto looked at her trying to process the information he just received. His face was akin to that of a child that had just been given a lecture in quantum physics.

"Kurenai-sensei's... daughter...? Babysitter...? What? Huh?"

"She is the child of Kurenai and Asuma." Hinata said patiently "a babysitter was assigned to Kurenai-sensei to help her raise her."

Naruto scratched the back of his head in embarrassment. He had actually forgotten about Team Eight's Sensei.

It wasn't surprising really. He hadn't really interacted that much with Kurenai Yuhi before or after the war. The last time he saw her was when he saw her at the hospital with Shikamaru. He remembered making a comment about how she had gotten fat at which point Shikamaru explained to him that she was pregnant and that she was about to have a child.

Come to think of it, if Hinata had a child she would have gotten fat too, right?

It finally dawned on him.

'This isn't Hinata's child!'

His face brightened up and his mood immediately changed. It was as if a big weight had been lifted off his shoulders. A big wide grin formed once more on his lips and he was back to his usual cheerful self once more.

"How are you doing Mirai-chan?" He said as he cheerfully extended his arms towards the little girl "I am big-brother Naruto! Nice to meet you!"

The little girl got a fearful expression and hugged Hinata tighter turning her back on him. Naruto's face fell as he heard a small cry from Hinata's back.

Hinata put the bags down and softly put her arms around little Mirai engulfing the little girl in a warm embrace. She gave Naruto an understanding look and smiled at him softly.

"Naruto-kun, you shouldn't make such sudden moves in front of little Mirai-chan. She is at an age where she's still a little bit afraid of strangers."

The white-eyed kunoichi patted the little girl on the back and gently rocked her, causing her to calm down.

"There, there, Mirai-chan! Don't be afraid! Naruto-kun, is a good friend of mine. He just wants to be your friend too, See?"

For some reason the word "friend" caused a sharp pain on his chest. He took a few steps back trying to give the two some space.

"Yeah, Mirai-chan! I am not a bad guy! I just want to be your friend!"

The little girl lifted up her head and looked at her caretaker.

"Na-ta?'

"Yes, Mirai-chan?"

The little girl turned back to look at him. She was considerably calmed down, and she wasn't crying anymore, but she still eyed him suspiciously.

She eventually lifted her hand and pointed at him.

"Mo-ron!"

Naruto's face turned a whole new shade of pale.

"She... She thinks I'm a moron?"

Hinata smiled nervously at him.

"Well not necessarily. Kids that age are just learning to use words. There's a good chance she formed those words by mistake."

"Moron! Moron! Moron!"

"No! Mirai-chan! Naruto is NOT a moron. Okay?"

Hinata looked the little girl in the eye and gave her a stern look causing her to stop her chanting immediately.

"Not... moron?"

"Not moron!"

The girl pointed at Naruto once again and began smiling at him.

"Not moron! Not moron! Not moron!"

Naruto smiled back at the little girl and approached her more calmly this time. He slowly raised his pinkie and gently bought it close to her hand.

"Nice to finally meet you Mirai-chan!"

The little girl grabbed his finger and gently pulled it, smiling sweetly at him

"Not moron!"

The blonde Ninja smiled widely and accepted her gesture.

"Yes Mirai-chan! Not moron! But you can call me Naruto!"

"Na...Ruto?"

"Yes, Naruto!"

The little girl began twisting his finger shaking it up and down uncontrollably.

"Ruto! Ruto!"

"Ow! Ow!"

Naruto pulled back and rubbed his finger trying to make the pain subside.

He saw Hinata smiling warmly at him.

"I think she likes you, Naruto-kun!"

Hinata's words combined with her smile made his pain go away instantly.

He approached the two once more making extra sure to not extend any appendages towards the little girl.

"So... I get that you are looking after Mirai-chan, but what are you doing outside? I thought babysitting was something you do at a person's home."

"Well, Kurenai-sensei's babysitter is also supposed to help her with household chores and right now I am fetching some of her groceries."

"Need some help?"

"That won't be necessary Naruto-kun. I can handle this on my own."

She squatted trying to pick up the bags again. Naruto could see the strain on her face as she struggled to not lose her balance with Mirai tied around her.

"No, this won't do at all."

He gently pushed her back taking her place between the bags. He then formed a hand seal with his left hand summoning a shadow-clone to pick one of them up.

"Naruto, what do you think you..."

He picked up the other bag bringing his face close to hers. His bright smile made Hinata's heart skip several beats.

"You've been helping me out all this time. What sort of friend would I be if I didn't help you back?"

Hinata couldn't help but blush.

"Th- thank you, Naruto-kun..."

"You are more than welcome Hinata."

He started walking alongside his clone, trying to appear as cool as he could while "heroically" carrying the grocery bags.

"You just focus on taking care of Mirai-chan, okay? I'll handle the heavy-lifting stuff!"

"Okay... but... uh... Naruto-kun..."

"What is it Hinata?"

"Kurenai-sensei's house is in the opposite direction."

The little girl's face went blank as both Naruto and his clone embarrassingly crashed into each other while simultaneously trying to quickly turn the other way.

"Ruto... sure... not moron?"

The three of them eventually reached Kurenai's house. Hinata reached inside her pocket and took out a key in order to unlock the door. She stepped inside the house and took Mirai out of the baby sling placing her down on the floor.

The little girl started running around the house, quite excited to be able to stand on her two legs again after all this time of being carried around.

"Please be careful Mirai-chan!" she told the girl as she took off the baby sling and picked her up once more."You can get hurt really bad if you're not careful."

Naruto and his clone walked inside the house and left the grocery bags on the floor. The shadow-clone made a "thumbs up" sign and dispelled itself leaving the not-yet-couple alone with the kid.

"Oh come on! Mirai-chan is a smart girl. She won't get hurt that easily, right?"

"Maybe, but I still can't leave her to run around alone like this."

A light bulb went on inside Naruto's head.

"How about you leave her... with me?"

"With... you...?"

"Yeah, I will look after Mirai-chan for a while so you can take a breath or something."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

Naruto pouted.

"But I really want to..."

His eyes got wider and his face got a pleading look, akin to that of a puppy looking for a hug.

'Don't look at me like this! I can't say no to you when you look at me like this!'

"I'll... I'll be keeping an eye on you, OK?"

"Sure!"

The white-eyed kunoichi headed inside the kitchen to arrange the groceries in their proper place. Naruto stood in front of little Mirai and grinned at her.

"So, it's just you and me now, huh?"

The girl eyed him curiously.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

Mirai beckoned him to come closer. Naruto squatted in front of her bringing his face close to hers.

"What is it Mirai-chan?"

He felt a couple of baby hands rub his whiskers.

"Ruto... Kitty?"

"You saw my whiskers and you think I'm a cat?"

The little girl jumped at him and placed her tiny arms around his neck causing him to lose his balance and fall butt-first on the floor, with her still holding him.

"Ruto kiiittyyyyy!"

"Ow! Ow!"

"Ruto Kitty! Ruto Kitty!"

"Hey cut it out!"

He saw Mirai pull her arms back and look at him sadly as she sat on his chest.

"Ruto Kitty?" she pouted.

The little girl's expression made Naruto immediately regret his previous response. He smiled at her once more causing her to brighten up again.

"You actually like my whiskers?"

Little Mirai started rubbing his cheeks again.

"Ruto-Kitty!"

"Heheh! I like you too Mirai-chan!"

Her tiny arms moved on to his hair and started ruffling them vigorously. Naruto started laughing and rolling taking extra care to not accidentally crush the little girl under his weight.

"Ruto-Kitty! Ruto-Kitty!"

"Meow! Meow!"

Hinata walked in to find Naruto rolling on the floor and purring like some sort of housecat with little Mirai being on top of him, rubbing him and petting him.

The image automatically made Hinata bite her lips.

"C-cute!" she said under her breath "Naruto playing with Mirai-chan is too cute!"

Naruto caught her with the corner of his eye. He grinned slyly.

"Get over here!"

The blonde ninja and the little girl pounced on her and pinned her on the on house's wall.

"Ruto-kitty! Nata! Eat! Eat!"

"Wait! Naruto-kun! Don't!

"I'm sorry Nata! I'm a cat now! And my master is telling me to eat you!"

"Please no!"

Alas, her cries were in vain. Naruto started munching on top of her head jokingly putting her hair in his mouth and pretending to chew on them. At the same time little Mirai started tickling her waist sending her into fits of uncontrollable laughter.

"Haha! Stop it! Haha! You're making my hair all slimy!"

"Sorry, me and Mirai-chan are a team now! And we are taking you down!"

"Oh really!? 8-TRIGRAMS 64-PALMS!"

Hinata activated her byakugan and started rapidly poking Naruto and Mirai in several places sending them back laughing.

"Haha! Hinata! You're too good at this! Haha! Please!"

"Too late!"

The blonde and the little girl were both down on the floor rolling with fits of laughter.

"Haha! You've beaten us both! Your way of the gentle tickling fist is too strong!"

"Heheh! Nata strong! Nata strong!" the little girl said as she chuckled.

"You're right Mirai!" the blonde ninja said "But the fight is not over yet!"

He grabbed Hinata and pulled her down on the floor with him.

"I am holding her down Mirai! Now's your chance!"

Mirai started tickling Hinata on the neck, sending her into fits of even more uncontrollable laughter.

Naruto was enchanted by the sound of Hinata's laughter. He couldn't quite describe it. Normally, whenever he saw Hinata laugh, it was a soft and gentle chuckle, as if she was afraid that laughing out loud would offend somebody. But now, her laughter was wild, uncontrollable, bubbling!

It had occurred to Naruto that he had never heard Hinata laughing like this before.

I also occured to him that he loved seeing her like this!

He loved seeing her laugh! He loved seeing her happy!

Hinata on her part was having the time of her life. Normally, babysitting Mirai was a quiet and uneventful affair. As a Hyuga, Hinata never had any chance to engage into normal childish shenanigans. Whenever she wasn't training in the ways of the gentle fist, she was schooled into matters of proper manner and etiquette. She was raised to be prim and proper, traditional to the very core.

But right now, she was having so much fun!!! For the first time in what was a long time, she felt like a child again. Laughing and playfully fighting with both Mirai and Naruto, rolling down on the floor, trying to poke them back...

...being held down by Naruto's strong left arm...

...her cheeks in direct contact with his chest...

She abruptly stopped laughing as the realization of her position hit her like a brick on the head. Her face turned beet-red, something which wasn't unnoticed by little Mirai who stopped her tickling assault on her tracks as she observed the deep blush on her face.

"Nata... tomato?"

"Hinata... What's wrong?"

Her heart was beating so fast! She felt dizzy.

She couldn't faint now! Not when she was supposed to look after little Mirai!

She quickly pushed Naruto back, got up and headed back to the kitchen.

"I... I need to make something for Mirai-chan to eat. Her feeding time is in a few minutes."

Naruto watched sadly as Hinata closed the kitchen door behind her.

'I really shouldn't have been so... disgraceful... with her.'

He felt little Mirai softly rub his palm.

"Kitty... like... tomato?"

"Meow..." said Naruto sadly.

Mirai couldn't help but give him a tiny hug.

Hinata emerged from the kitchen a few minutes later holding a bowl of fruit cream. She took up Mirai and placed her on top of her feeding highchair. She then tied a bib around Mirai's neck and took out a spoon in order to feed her.

And like millions of kids before her, Mirai refused to open her mouth and eat her food.

"Come on Mirai-chan. It's your feeding time!"

Little Mirai turned her head quickly avoiding the intake of fruity-cream.

"Come on now Mirai! Don't be stubborn!"

Hinata sighed in exasperation. She knew that taking care of kids wasn't an easy task, and she had been through this many times before. It still didn't make the job of feeding little Mirai any less frustrating. The girl just plainly refused to eat when she was around her. She tried various tricks at various times to get her to properly ingest her food. They all worked... once...

...Little Mirai was a fast learner...

The little girl refused to take the bait with the "airplane trick" and slammed her hands on the highchair table, nearly knocking the bowl of fruit cream on the floor. Hinata could only barely save it.

This was so infuriating!

It was then she felt Naruto's arms on her shoulder.

"Let me try something..."

She saw Naruto grab another spoon and playfully took the bowl with the fruit-cream off of the highchair table. He then took the bowl and sat down on the kitchen table with Hinata and Mirai disbelievingly looking at him.

"Naruto... what are you..."

The blonde Ninja took a spoonful of cream and placed it on his mouth. A satisfied smile formed on his face.

"Mmmm! This stuff is so tasty! It's a good thing you don't want to eat this Mirai-chan! It means that I get to eat this!"

He got ready to place his spoon back in the bowl cream. Mirai started shaking in her highchair and yelling.

"Oh, you want to eat now? Too bad! The cream is mine!"

Before he could put the spoon back in the fruit-cream bowl Hinata grabbed it and took it away from him. She then placed it back on the highchair and took another spoonful from it.

Mirai opened her mouth quickly this time. She didn't want her cream to be taken again.

"Seriously Naruto-kun, don't ever..."

"She is eating now, right?"

Hinata calmed down as she noticed that Mirai was now eating her cream without any problems. She was obediently opening her mouth and taking in her fruit-cream, lapping it eagerly and hungrily.

"How did you know that she would eat it like this?"

"She kinda reminded me of Konohamaru in the way she reacted." Naruto said as a wide smile formed on his face "I figured a bit of teasing would work."

Hinata smiled softly as she gave little Mirai another spoonful of fruit cream.

"Well, she IS his cousin..."

"Oh yeah. Asuma was Konohamaru's uncle, wasn't he?"

"Yeah..."

The little girl finished up her cream and Hinata picked her up from her highchair to give her a little pat. The little girl belched and leaned her head on the Hyuga's shoulder. Hinata started humming and gently cradled the little girl with a warm loving smile on her face.

It was the most beautiful thing Naruto had ever seen. He could watch Hinata like this forever.

Sadly, it wasn't meant to last.

Hinata's face soured as something appeared to suddenly bother her.

She held little Mirai up and smelled her.

"Well, looks like it's time for a diaper change Mirai-chan!" Hinata said "Let's head to the bathroom to wash you."

Naruto and Hinata looked at little Mirai as she slept on her baby cradle, suckling on her thumb.

"She was running around so wildly just an hour ago and now she looks so..."

"Peaceful...?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, kids her age are energetic, but they burnt out fast. Don't worry though, she will be up and running again in about an hour or so."

Naruto turned his attention to his Hinata.

"You know a lot about kids, huh?"

"Well, Team Eight has done babysitting missions before. And it's not the first time we take care of little Mirai either."

"You will one day be a great mother Hinata."

The kunoichi blushed deeply. She placed her arms around his back, gently caressing the stump that used to be his right hand.

"I have no doubt that you will one day be a great father too Naruto-kun..."

"You think so?"

"I know so."

A strange feeling came over him as he heard Hinata's words. It felt fuzzy and it made his heart beat like crazy. A strange new desire started to form inside him.

He turned his attention back to the sleeping little girl.

"You know, I wonder... if I ever have a kid... what will it look like?"

Hinata leaned her head on Naruto's shoulder. Her voice was soft and sweet like honey.

"It will be strong and beautiful, like you. It will most likely be blonde with blue eyes. And it will probably have your whiskers."

Naruto's face darkened.

"I don't want my kid to get my whiskers..."

"Why not?"

Naruto looked at the Hyuga Heiress with a solemn look on his eyes.

"Back when I was a kid, my whiskers reminded me that I was different from all the other kids. Whenever I looked in the mirror, I believed that something was wrong with me. Before I found out the truth about my birth, I thought that they were the reason that most people in Konoha avoided me. So, I don't really like them very much."

He got startled as he felt a pair of soft lips gently kiss his cheeks.

They were almost... ethereal...

He turned to see Hinata smiling at him.

This time it was Naruto's turn to blush.

"Hinata, what are you..."

"I always thought that... your whiskers are beautiful Naruto-kun!"

"Even back when I was a kid?!"

"Even back when you were a kid. I thought that they were something wonderful that defined you, that made you unique!"

The blonde Ninja felt a strange feeling of warmth from Hinata's words and her uncharacteristically bold gesture. For some strange reason an image of his own mother flashed in the front of his mind.

"You know... I always say something to people who like my whiskers."

"What?"

He bought his face close to hers and smiled once more.

"I like you too!"

Hinata's face started sizzling as her face got redder than any tomato.

"You-you-you do!?" she stuttered.

"Yep! I told little Mirai-chan pretty much the same thing when she touched them!"

Hinata's face instantly went cold and deflated.

'Oh, THAT sort of "like".'

Naruto looked at the sleeping baby and closed his eyes.

An image of him holding his child formed on his mind.

He could actually picture it perfectly! Beautiful, blond, with blue eyes and whiskers on his cheeks...

...And Hinata was by his side, holding it with him!

"I guess... It wouldn't be too bad if my kid got my whiskers..."

"No, it wouldn't."

'I envy the person who gets to be the parent of your child.' they both thought at the same time.

They both looked at each other with a solemn look on their face.

'Too bad you will never see me that way.' their thought went immediately afterwards.

They looked at the sleeping baby once more and smiled bitterly.

'I hope you will still be happy! You deserve to be happy!'

They stayed like this for a little while. Hardly a word was spoken between them, but the atmosphere was intense. They couldn't bear it anymore.

Hinata decided to break the silence.

"Naruto, when I first saw you today, you seemed to be bothered by something. What was it?"

"Oh, it's nothing really. It was just a big shock seeing you with a two-year-old kid tied around your waist. For a moment, I thought Mirai was your child."

"You thought Mirai was my child?"

Naruto's face fell as he saw Hinata let out a small chuckle.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing! It's just... I've never been with anybody in my life! How could I have a child?"

The blonde ninja looked at her curiously.

"What do you mean been with anybody?"

His question came completely out of left field and left the kunoichi completely speechless.

"You know... when a man and a woman get together... Don't you know how kids are being made?"

Naruto scratched his head in embarrassment.

"Well, I used to think it was the whole 'birds and bees' thing, but then I saw Kurenai get fatter and Shikamaru explained to me that she was about to have a child, and I finally understood..."

"What did you understand?"

"Asuma must have fed her some extra special food and it got turned into a child, right?"

He watched in disbelief as Hinata exploded into full-blown belly laughter.

"Wait! It's not that either?!"

"Hahahah! No!Haha! It's not! Haha! Kids are definitely not made like that!"

Naruto had never felt as more of an idiot in his life before. Still... Because it was Hinata who was laughing, he didn't mind it very much. It was impossible for him to get offended by her laughter. It was so sweet! So soothing! So beautiful!

He waited until she finished laughing before he addressed her again.

"So... If it's not food... How are kids made?"

"Well... you know... when a man and a woman get to together... they..."

"They 'what'?" he inquired "Please tell me!"

He bought his face close to hers and looked her in the eyes. He wanted her to know that he was asking seriously.

"Let's say you and me want to have a child, right? What sort of thing do we have to do together in order to make it?"

"I... uh...we..."

Hinata could feel Naruto's breath on her lips. His face was so dangerously close!

His eyes! His beautiful eyes! Those cute whiskers on his cheeks! His golden blonde hair!

A scene from the future started playing inside her head.

An image of Naruto's bed flashed in the forefront of her mind. She pictured herself lying on it with Naruto on top of her. She pictured him kissing her, caressing her, taking her clothes off, touching her in her most intimate of places...

She pictured... She pictured... She pictured...

Kiba and Akamaru walked inside Kurenai's home in order to relieve Hinata of her babysitting duties for the day. He expected to find Mirai sleeping on the baby cradle and Hinata being already ready to leave.

What he found instead was Hinata lying on the living-room couch, frothing at her mouth while Naruto was putting cold-presses on her forehead, which sizzled with steam for some reason. Little Mirai was fully awake and waving a fan on her face.

"Ah! Kibamaru! Aka!" said the little girl as she approached the two.

"You confused our names!" the dog-nin replied "What the hell happened here Naruto?"

"I don't know! I swear!"

"You didn't try anything... funny... did you?"

The dog-nin crossed his arms and looked at the blonde ninja with dagger on his eyes.

"Heck no! All I did was ask her a question! I didn't know how babies are made so I asked her what sort of things me and her would have to do in order to make a child! What's so funny? Why are you and Akamaru rolling down on the floor laughing?"

AFTERSTORY: Where do babies come from?

A week later...

Team 7 was having a rest as they returned home from their last assignment.

It was a simple escort mission, and it went without a hitch. Their target stayed close and didn't stray from them, following Sakura's safety advice to the letter, while most bandits chose to stay away once they found out that it was the legendary genin Naruto and the renowned medical-nin Sakura who were part of the escort. Sai used his flying birds to root out any potential threats and map the safest route possible for the completion of the mission.

It all went smooth. Almost routine one could say.

Which was really good because Naruto couldn't put his mind into it, no matter how hard he tried.

The question was plaguing him. Haunting him.

'Where do babies come from?'

That bastard Kiba didn't tell him anything, he just kept laughing...

When Naruto did or say something stupid and Hinata laughed, it felt pleasant, it felt intoxicating as if she was laughing with him instead of at him. But when anybody else did it...

...It took all the willpower he had not to punch Kiba in the face.

Still he had to find out! Hinata seemed to know, and Kiba definitely seemed to know... He seemed to be the only member in his age group who didn't know.

And that was unacceptable in his book.

Shortly after what he now called "the babysitting incident" he went home and read some of Jiraya-sensei's novels hoping to find some clues on how babies are made. He found *one* instance where the heroine of the novel got pregnant in the end. He read the chapter where they get together trying to understand what the hell they were doing beforehand.

'The brave warrior took out his fleshy bulging sword and plunged it deep inside her wet sheath'

So a man needs to have a sword to make a child? What about those men who don't have swords? Asuma certainly didn't have a sword and he still got Kurenai-sensei pregnant.

He was sure he was missing something.

He shyly approached his pale-skinned teammate.

"Hey, Sai, you read lots of books, right?"

"Yes."

"Do you know how babies are made?"

Naruto's inquiry made Sai smile. It was the question he had been born to answer.

Naruto came out of the conversation more confused than ever. Sai was definitely enthusiastic in his response, but he never stopped to consider if Naruto was actually understanding what it was that he was supposed to be saying. He was certainly descriptive and thorough but he used words and terms that Naruto had never heard before in his life. It all sounded so complicated, so...

Medical...

Wait a second! Sakura-chan is a medical-nin isn't she? She has to know what those terms mean.

He shyly approached his other teammate and gave her a friendly poke.

"Hey, Sakura-chan, can I ask you a question?"

"What is it, Naruto? I am trying to rest here."

"Will you kindly explain to me how I'm supposed to..."

He closed his eyes trying to recollect the exact words that Sai used a few moments ago.

"... Insert my pe[CENSORED] inside a woman's va[CENSORED] and eja[CENSORED] inside her?"

Naruto woke up alone inside the hospital covered in bandages, staring at the blank ceiling. He attempted to move himself and get up. Sharp jolts of pain followed his every move.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!"

Naruto opened his eyes again and found himself inside his mindscape.

"What happened?"

Your team partner beat the crap out of you, and your other partner flew you urgently to the hospital. I put you back inside the mindscape because I need you to stand completely still for a couple of hours. I've got a lot of bone-mending to do.

"Thanks Kurama."

The fox-demon just scoffed at him.

I swear, brat! One of these days you're going to push your luck too far.

Naruto sat down on the mindscape and focused on his thoughts. So much pain, so much trouble and he was still nowhere near understanding how babies are made.

A sudden idea came to him. He addressed the nine-tailed fox once more.

"Hey, Kurama. Do you happen to know... How babies are made?"

Brat! I am a genderless fox-demon with a tendency for anger and destruction. I don't know and I don't care! Besides, why would you want to see the painful memory of your birth again? Wasn't seeing your parents get slaughtered *once* enough for you?

"I don't want to see the memory of my birth. I want to see the memory of my conception."

Cons... sep... tion? What does the word even mean brat?

"You are carrying various memories from previous Jinchuuriki inside you correct?"

Correct.

"Well... you must have a memory of me when I first came to be, right?"

Let me check.

Kurama stopped healing Naruto for a moment and retreated inside his mental lair in order to examine a bunch of memory orbs he was keeping. He finally found what he was looking for and laid it in front of Naruto's feet.

I think I found it. This is the memory of what happened when you first became a living entity inside Kushina's belly. Just touch the orb and the memory will start playing. Now if you excuse me, I still have a lot of work to do.

Naruto touched the orb. A bright light appeared and just like a movie inside a dark theatre the memory started playing. It featured Kushina and Minato as they returned home from a date. Kushina was wearing a traditional kimono while Minato was wearing a robe. They both headed inside the bedroom kissing and frisking each other like the youths in love they were. Kushina untied her kimono's sash and let it slide on the floor...

...what sort of underwear is she wearing under the kimono?! And did she really just take down my father's underwear with nothing but her teeth?

Naruto returned from the mindscape to find Team Eight standing by his side.

"Are you all right, Naruto-kun? You are looking awfully pale."

Naruto smiled faintly at Hinata. He squeezed her hand and took refuge in her soothing smile.

What was he supposed to tell her? That he had just witnessed his parents do things to each other that would make even the Pervy-Sage Jiraya blush?

He always had this sweet and romantic image of his parents. He knew they loved each other very much. He knew their tale. He knew their love-story...

...he didn't know they were such... such...

...such FREAKS!

'Harder Minato! Harder!' he recalled his mother screaming at the top of her lungs as she kept getting slammed by his father 'Show me the strength of the man I fell in love with!'

Is this what his parents went through to have a child?

Is this what his parents went through to make him?

Is this what it means to be a ninja?

Is this what it means to endure?

He took a look at the white-eyed kunoichi who was standing next to him.

Is this what he and Hinata would have to go through if they ever wanted to have a child?

Would she be able to take it?

Would she be able to endure it?

A scene from the future started playing inside his head.

An image of his apartment's bed flashed in the forefront of his mind. He pictured Hinata lying on his bed with him on top of her. He pictured himself kissing her, caressing her, taking her clothes off, touching her in her most intimate of places...

He pictured... He pictured... He pictured...

Hinata looked with horror as the man she was in love with started burning up and frothing at the mouth.

"Naruto-kun!” she screamed in agony “Please! Don't die Naruto-kun!"

She leaned on top of his bed and quickly pressed the "Nurse Button" in order for help to arrive. This gave Naruto an ample view of her chest which caused him to hallucinate even more.

'Harder Naruto-kun! Harder!' she cried inside his head 'Show me the strength of the man I fell in love with!'

He started bleeding from his nose profusely.

The nurses barely made it in time.

Meanwhile Kiba grabbed Shino and urged him to fall back and exit the room.

"I don't know what those two dorks are suffering from but from what I have gathered so far it's contagious."

It’s rather obvious in the manga that Naruto doesn’t have a clue about a woman’s pregnancy and that he hasn’t made the connection yet that sex is connected to baby-making. So I wanted to write a fanfic where he eventually figures it out and has a sexual awakening of sorts.

I also wanted to write a fanfic where Naruto and Hinata babysit Mirai. Mirai’s assigned babysitter makes an appearance in “Shikamaru’s Story” and is the one who normally helps Kurenai raise Mirai. In Konoha Hiden Mirai is quite well acquainted with Team Eight so it’s safe to assume that they help out too if something happens to her.

As I mentioned in the prologue this is going to be the fifth chapter of “My Right Hand” fanfic and it’s going to feature a few extras that will tie it in better with it. I hope you will read it then too!

Sigh... all five of you...

#naruhina #konoha hiden #fanfic #Hinata Hyuga #Naruto Uzumaki #Mirai #kiba inuzuka #shino aburame

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