#I think I'm done talking about this for now too | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

murdrdocs · 2 days

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spinnin' out waiting

description. you find TASHI DONALDSON at a hotel bar. you fall back into a version of your old self, a version that values tashi's opinion as much as you value the taste of her lips.

includes. SMUT 18+ MDNI, infidelity, 69ing, exes (again!), crazy amounts of longing, one mention of pegging, couple mentions of patrick and art, unnamed husband to r

wc. 4.2k+

a/n: art creds unknown. title from satellite by harry styles. barely edited as of 06/10

“Why'd you marry him?”

Tashi's words are soft, they’re inquisitive. They don’t seem accusatory, blending easily with the melody of the Bowie tune playing throughout the hotel lobby.

You hear her. You understand her over the clatter of glasses against table tops and shoes clicking against tile floors. You know exactly what she’s asking you. You have an answer, but beginning to act on the defense, you take your time formulating another one.

Here, at a hotel bar, you won't tell Tashi the real reason why you married your husband. You won't lay it all out for her to take, chew up, and spit right back at you.

You take a sip of your drink, ignoring how unfavored it is now that it's watered down, and you only speak once it's sitting back on the counter.

“Why did you?”

It's lame, nothing but a cop-out, but verbally, you aren't trying to impress Tashi right now. Right now, you're taking what you can, pathetically just trying to exist in her space for longer even if it means deflecting her words onto her.

Physically, you’re trying to draw her in, attempting to impress her. It’s obvious in the way you’re sitting—shoulders pushed far back until there’s a pinch between your shoulder blades, your legs crossed at the ankles and your thighs squeezed together. You’re the picture of perfection, even holding your face in a way that you think Tashi will admire.

Tashi takes the bait.

She shrugs, sighs, and dives into a calculated answer. “He's smart. Good at tennis.”

You think she means the words, or she had meant them at one time, but now they’re emotionless. They’re facts, not declarations of love. Her face doesn’t brighten like it should when talking about why you married your husband.

You nod your head, rocking a little in your seat on the stool. Tashi has always been strategic, you aren't shocked that she doesn't mention her love for her husband in her admission.

She looks at you, eyes briefly taking down your body in a gesture so quick that you aren’t sure if it was intentional or not. You watch her lips part.

“You were too.”

Your eyebrows furrow. “I was what?”

“Good at tennis.” Again, she says it so simply, so clear cut. To most, it would be. To most, it would be nothing but a fact, a compliment, even.

With Tashi, it's something different. There is an admission in itself woven in her words. One you’ve waited to hear for years, one you only heard once before years ago. If you were weaker, still playing for her attention, maybe, then you would’ve let the admission draw you back to your coach who declared there would always be a place for you. Now, you only dip your head, watching your fingernail tap against your glass.

“I'm out, Tashi. I'm done.”

The back and forth comes quickly. “You didn't have to be. You quit.”

“I retired.”

“You quit.”

You didn't expect the conversation to go this way, but you should have. You know Tashi. You may even know her better than you know your own husband. Perhaps she knows you better than your husband does. It's a thought you don't want to consider for longer than you need to.

You take your glass in your hand and finish your drink off. You don't bother ordering another. You won't be here for much longer.

You don't know how the exit will be, if you'll be alone, or if Tashi will be in tow. But you can sense its approach.

“Why did you marry him?" She asks you again.

This time, you give an answer. It comes quick and simple. "Safety." What you don’t say is because I couldn’t marry you.

You watch Tashi react. The corner of her lips lifts just a bit and she gets that look in her eye. The one that tells you that she has just found something out, a piece to add to the puzzle that makes up you.

She hums and you know she wants to say something. You want to hear it, but the words are likely to piss you off. They would ruin the small sense of harmony that exists in this space, and that's something you don't want.

So you let Tashi judge you. You sit there under her scrutinizing gaze and then when she's done, you watch her gaze soften.

“You had a few more in you."

It's tennis talk, but it's comforting.

“I watched your matches, you could've done a few more. A couple more years maybe. Wimbledon was always your strong suit I think you could've won it next year. Maybe Australia, too. France is a little rough on you, you move slower. But if yo—” You can't stand to hear it any longer.

You push your chair out from under you, standing over her. And for once, Tashi stops speaking. She's stunned, her dark eyes staring up at yours. Her lips stay parted, her unfinished words sitting stunted inside of her mouth. Her lips look so nice, and you try not to focus on that, but it seems like it's all you can focus on through the blurry sight.

Your eyes burn, your nose stings. You're about to cry, and for what? Because Tashi is telling you that you're better than you thought? Truthfully, it's words you've been hearing for a while. Everyone has told you as such. But hearing it from her is different. It's like the words from God himself.

It should be embarrassing, how joyous you feel to have her attention on you once more. How delighted you are that Tashi Duncan—Tashi Donaldson is finally giving you the time of day again. It should be embarrassing, and maybe it would be if you weren’t so intently focused on keeping your tears at bay.

Nearly a decade and a half later, you’re still worshiping at her altar.

Patrick all those years ago was right. You’re no better than Art. You don’t think you wanted to be.

You stand with intentions to leave. Grab your bag, you tell yourself. Go upstairs to your room and to your husband.

But Tashi is looking at you. She's looking at you with kindness beneath her lined eyes. On the surface, it's unnoticeable. Maybe it's not there at all and you're just deluding yourself. But you think that under there, buried down beneath everything she uses to keep herself strong and above everyone else, is kindness. Towards you. Towards the situation. Towards herself.

“St back down,” she tells you.

You stay standing.

Tashi's hand reaches for yours. Her left hand crosses her body, resting on your left hand. You glance down, noticing the way your respective rings glint in the moody lighting. When you blink, a tear falls. You try to wipe it away before Tashi can notice it.

"Sit back down," She speaks slowly this time and it seems like a plea. So you sit back down.

Your pants are touching the cushion of the bar stool for only a few seconds before Tashi leans forward. There isn't necessarily hesitance towards her movements, but she moves slowly. It's as if she's giving you an out.

But there's no way you could want an out for the thing you've wanted for years. Finally, she's giving you an in, even if the circumstances existing outside of this bubble make the situation inappropriate.

But when you close the gap, you don't feel guilty. Because you had her first. Before any of the boys came into your lives, it was you and Tashi.

And here, and now, it’s you and Tashi. Art, Patrick, and your husband don’t exist at this moment past the rings on your fingers and lingering chastising. Physically, in this space, it’s you and Tashi.

Her hand falls to your thigh. Your hand slides up to the side of her neck.

She scoots her stool closer to yours and your back arches as you push yourself closer into her. A blast of AC brings her perfume to your awareness. She smells the same as before, a gentle vanilla, but there’s a new maturity to it. The scent is stronger, without being overpowering. It’s aged, with a deeper heat to it.

It’s alluring.

When you pull away from her, you’re shocked to feel her lips chase yours. She kisses you, once, twice, and then she’s only stopped by your hands cupping her cheeks.

You stare at Tashi. She stares at you, big brown eyes lined with smudged makeup. She should look intimidating, like how she appears in the stands. But she looks innocent, almost.

“Tashi.”

Her eyebrows furrow. It’s nice to see worry on her face when it’s directed at you. You like it when she cares about you.

“What? What is it?”

“Tashi, we shouldn’t.”

Her eyebrows relax and her face morphs into something else. Disappointment? It’s a look that makes your throat sting.

You’re close to taking your warning back, but you instead let it suspend in the air. You lick your lips, your grip on Tashi’s cheeks relaxing as you prepare to retreat. Your purse sits on the counter, and in it is your keycard to your hotel room. It would be easy to grab your things and slip back into your room for a quick shower before sliding into bed. But that’s not what you want.

You want to see where this goes.

If she’ll let you.

You expect Tashi’s body to relax away from you, but it doesn’t.

She stands, her hands resting on your thighs as she stares down at you.

“Why shouldn’t we?”

You have answers, many of them. Two of them sit just a few floors above you both, waiting for either of you to crawl back into bed and resume the role of the loving, supportive wife.

You could give her reasons, but you don’t. Instead, you lamely stare up at Tashi, your best friend.

It’s a title she hasn’t been the owner of for years, but you still find it easy to give it to her now. You’ll extend it for her to forever hold, an honor she doesn’t have to want for you to bestow upon her.

You’ll let Tashi Donaldson be whatever she wants to be, so long as she’s in your life.

Maybe that’s why you don’t resist at all when she leans down and presses her lips to yours.

You kiss her with vigor you’ve never kissed your husband with. Vigor that could have never existed with him, because you’ve been burying it deep down inside just for her. It’s a build-up of all the times you cheered her on for a date. All the times you listened to her tell you about her endeavors and pushed down the images of you two in the described positions. The tears you hid with steamy showers and bottles of wine when you heard about her wedding from the tabloids and not an invitation.

It all comes together as slides of your lips against hers. Full-forced presses of your tongues together. Wandering hands roaming through expensive hairdos and along even more expensive clothing items.

You’re in public, sitting at a hotel bar, but you couldn’t care less. Even if it weren’t late at night, if the lobby were bustling with late check-outs and early check-ins, you don’t think you would care. Absolutely nothing could pull you from Tashi’s embrace. You convince yourself this when you stand to your full height, pressing your chest against Tashi’s.

She turns you until your lower back digs into the edge of the counter. One of her hands cups your face and you can feel the bracelet on her wrist dig into your arm as she rests the other on the counter behind you. You hold her close with two hands on her slender waist, pressing into the thick fabric of her cardigan.

You need to feel more of her. Her clothing is in the way. You need to feel her skin on yours in ways you had almost been privy to in college when tailored pants and overpriced sweaters were replaced by Victoria’s Secret pajama sets and Stanford sweatshirts.

You do what you can in this public space, lifting the hem of her cardigan and pressing your hands into her torso beneath it. She’s wearing a shirt, but it’s cropped just enough for you to feel her taut abdomen. She’s soft, just like you expected her to be.

You melt against her when you circle your hands around her back and feel even more of her skin.

Eventually, Tashi pulls away. She doesn’t go far, pecking your neck and clavicle even as she struggles to catch her breath. You’re about to ask her where. You can’t let Tashi fuck you in a hotel bar, even if you would’ve let it happen if it weren’t so morally wrong, and you’re about to ask her where she could fuck you.

The words are formed on your tongue, sitting right on the tip, waiting. And then the elevator dings. You don’t care immediately. You forget yourself. You forget that you’re in public, pressed against a hotel bar with onlookers just a few feet away. They might not be looking at you, but you’ve had an audience this entire time. You could have another member joining the audience, too, if that elevator ding is who you think it is.

You forgot that you’re married, and not to her.

But the sound of the elevator, followed by an excited squeal of his name and then your name, the one he gave you, quickly reminds you.

You pull yourself off of Tashi completely. The only way to do that is to shove her away from you and even though you try to do it as gently as possible, it still hurts both of you. But it does the job. Tashi stands in front of you instead of against you.

You try your best to collect yourself. Wiping over and around your mouth, fixing your top, righting the position of your ring on your finger, and doing the same for your necklaces. You clear your throat, awkwardly step around Tashi, and then you look at her.

You look at her, really look at her in case you won’t get the chance to again, and then you turn yourselves around, grab your purse, and just look at her.

You wait for him to come this way. You wait for the sound of his shoes against the laminate, the strong waft of his cologne, the deep rumble of his voice. You wait for him to pull you into his chest, press a kiss into your forehead, and sincerely tell you that he was looking for you. That he woke up to an empty bed and was worried sick. You wait for the guilt to settle in your gut like a rock. You wait for this energy to be disrupted for good.

When it doesn’t come, you don’t know what to do.

Tashi cocks her head, crosses her arms over her chest.

You can sense her wanting to ask you a question so you press your shoulders back and prepare yourself.

“Are you gonna go with him?”

You don’t answer. You lick your lips, flit through the array of bottles against the wall behind her, and listen for the sound of fans talking to your husband.

Tashi only continues. “He’ll only be distracted for so long before he comes looking for you, right? So, are you gonna go with him, or are you coming with me?”

You try to sit and consider it, juggling the thoughts in your head, but it’s nothing but a waste of time. Your decision has been made ever since she kissed you. It’s what you really want. But it’s what you cannot have.

So instead, you grab your purse, spare Tashi one final look, and walk away from her.

“What happened downstairs?”

You’re in the middle of brushing your teeth when he asks you. The action gives you time to consider. Consider the implications of his question. Consider the repercussions of the answer you’ll give him.

You’re done when you spit the first time, but you go back for another round of brushing to give yourself more time.

Your actions don’t deter your husband. He stands in the center of the entrance to the bathroom, blocking the exit with his hands in the pockets of his pants. You’d bought them for him for Christmas two years ago.

Eventually realizing you’re not escaping this, you spit, rinse, and wipe before turning to face your husband.

“Nothing happened.”

It’s true to you. You were in Tashi’s embrace last night, but nothing happened.

You look at your husband, watching him take your answer in. You’re preparing for further questioning, to be put under the white-hot light and spew out lie after lie in order to save your ass and your marriage. You don’t expect him to accept it so quickly.

“Okay.”

You can’t help but ask him, “Okay?”

He nods. “I’ll always believe you, you know that. Now come to bed before I start watching Scandal without you.”

You try to stay put in your room tonight. It’s empty, left alone while your husband attends an event you should’ve been at. But you were sick, riddled with sudden guilt that fostered in your body, creating stomach cramps, headaches, and heat flashes.

You needed to do something about it.

You tried to drink it away with warm tea. You tried to wash it away with a hot shower. You try to relax it away in the best ways you know how—room service and an old match of your husbands. But nothing you did helped. You still found yourself in an empty bed, tossing and turning and craving a companion that you shouldn’t crave.

You know the solution. She sits downstairs. You know she does. You don’t need visual confirmation.

But you get it anyway. Sitting in the same spot as yesterday, in the same cardigan as before. Her hair is pulled away from her face in a clip, but it’s still too short to stay pulled all the way back. Highlights frame her face, and short pieces of hair sit against the nape of her neck. Her head is down, staring straight at the bar where she has her hotel keycard in her hand, tapping the plastic edge against the marble.

She doesn’t have a drink. You figure she won’t stay for long.

When you approach her, she doesn’t look up. You don’t bother sitting.

“Come with me.”

When you say it, she doesn’t immediately respond. She doesn’t even acknowledge you until at least a minute later, but it could have easily been longer. She looks up at you and she looks like Tashi Duncan. With her hair framing her face messily, her eyes completely free of makeup and soft, she looks like your best friend. She also looks like she’s been crying, or maybe holding it off.

You want to ask her if she’s okay, but you know what her answer will be, so you save yourself time.

“Are you gonna leave me again?”

Her response punches you in the gut. It also riles you up.

You scoff and consider turning back around. You stand your ground long enough to say, “I guess we’re even then, right?”

Tashi doesn’t need further explanation. She backs down, you can see it happening physically. Her shoulders relax and her lips quirk down for a split second. It’s long enough for you to notice it happening, but then it’s gone. She’s stoic, neutral. It’s a practiced look. One she’s perfected by now.

“Are you coming?”

She takes a moment, she takes a breath, and then she stands.

You’re in your hotel room for long enough to hear the door click behind you, signaling that it’s locked, and then Tashi’s lips are on yours.

It’s unclear who moves first. Maybe you move in tandem, finally satisfied to be with each other in seclusion for the first time in years.

All that matters is that you’re leading Tashi towards the bedroom and your fallen clothing marks the trail. From the door to the bed lay her cardigan, tee shirt, pants, one of her shoes, your hoodie, your leggings, and both of your shoes.

You fall onto the bed and Tashi quickly follows you. She straddles you, long body curled up to hover over your form, reminiscent of a vulture.

She kisses you in the same manner as before, but there’s more haste to her lips this time.

She kisses you like she’s insatiable, taking more and more without taking a moment to see if what she already has is enough. You have a feeling that whatever she takes from you, whatever you give her, will never be enough.

It’s the same for you.

Finally getting to hear the sounds Tashi makes whenever you slip your hand between her thighs makes your head spin. It’s an addicting feeling similar to substances that produce the same effect, but this is much better. This is a version you’ll risk it all to have. The moans and gasps that Tashi releases when you press into her clit over the thin fabric of her panties are debilitating. It bruises you, only to build you right back up again.

You need more.

So you produce more.

You slip your hand beneath the waistband and let your fingertips meet Tashi’s bare cunt for the first time. She shudders, so sensitive, and she’s so fucking wet. The first touch flatters you. It comforts you to confirm that you’re having the same effect on her that she’s always had on you.

Even during times when you hadn’t seen her. During times when you relied on memory, getting yourself off in the shower. Or times when you caught a glimpse of her at a match that your husband was playing in, and you thought of her that night when your husband fucked you in honor of his win. Then, you’d been soaked beyond belief. Much like Tashi is now.

You don’t waste any more time, giving the suggestion to Tashi with a grin. Of course, she’s quick to accept.

You ask her if she’s been in this position since that time. She tells you she hasn’t, and she asks you the same. You say you haven’t, but you’ve been dreaming of it.

You end up face-to-face with Tashi’s cunt, and she is in the same position with yours. Both of you make quick work of the other, no longer in the mood for playing with your food, especially now since it’s sitting right in front of you.

You assume it’s been a while since Tashi’s been with a woman, but she hasn’t lost any of her skill at all. She devours you with enthusiasm, working her mouth in ways that have you momentarily distracted from your own task.

Until your competitive side kicks in. You refuse to let Tashi win, beginning to engage in a silent, but obvious, competition with her.

She quickly starts to become more verbal, even her moans sounding breathless. It’s an ego boost.

“Wish I … Wish I had the—” she breaks her words off to whine and it’s such a heavenly sound. “Wish I had the strap up here.”

You lay your head back away from her cunt to speak.

“You have it with you?” There’s humor to your words, and you break off into a laugh when Tashi responds.

“Art likes it.”

Tashi giggles with you, and as soon as the fit dies down, she lowers her head, you pull her hips closer to you, and you both get back to it.

The first time is over quicker than either of you anticipated. Tashi cums first, her back arching and her tongue stopping against your cunt. You, on the other hand, kept going. You licked and sucked and teased until Tashi was tapping against your thigh and begging that you stop. Then she continued, and it took barely anything to get you in the same position as her.

You both finished, but you weren’t done. It was hard to stay off of each other, and even when you did stop, you would take a break and find each other again. You hadn’t fucked that much since your honeymoon. In a way, you felt like you were on your honeymoon.

The clothes in the closet and the toiletries in the bathroom didn’t belong to Tashi, but you could pretend that they did. The ring on your finger wasn’t Tashi’s, but you pretended it was. You weren’t Tashi’s, but you pretended you were.

Up until your husband calls you.

The grogginess in your voice was real and he winced as he thought he woke you. He kept it brief, a quick warning that he was heading home and stopping by a place for food on the way. He sent you the menu, urging you to reply if you wanted something. And then he blew a kiss over the line and told you he loved you.

You repeated his actions without any hesitation.

When Tashi inevitably had to leave your hotel room, you kissed her cheek and told her you loved her without any hesitation.

#tashisworld!#tashi duncan x reader #tashi duncan x you #celeste writes challengers

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daenysx · 2 days

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Hurt/comfort, my favorite !!! How about aemond with a reader who gets angry when she gets overwhelmed, and him knowing exactly what she needs? Like a book and hot tea, knows not to touch her until she asks? Thank you sm bae and obvs you don't have to write this if you don't want to ! Ilysm and you're so talented, esp in hurt/comfort !!! 🩵🩵🩵

thank you so much for requesting and being so kind, i hope you enjoy!! <333 requests are open

modern!aemond targaryen x fem!reader, hurt/comfort

aemond keeps the distance between you and him on the couch and suddenly you hate it.

you turn to look at him through glossy eyes, smudged mascara runs on your cheeks. you didn't mean to be so stressed out but can you really control how you feel under pressure? work has been hectic lately, you don't know how to finish everything you think of doing. you don't know anything.

your boyfriend has been patient with your little tantrum even though all he wanted was to keep you in his arms, safe and secured. he didn't touch you other than leading you to the couch with invisible fingers on your shoulder. he still doesn't touch you to not overwhelm you further. you want to wrap your arms around his shoulders, you want him to hold you until you stop breathing.

"aemond?" you say slowly.

"yes?" he turns to look at you. his fingers itch to hold you but he knows not to touch you without you touching him first. you still shake with anger and stress.

"can you- can we-"

"it's okay." he says. "just tell me what you want."

his voice is so gentle, so soft. you want to cry in his arms.

"can you hold me?"

your voice is so small, aemond wants to protect you from everything.

"of course." he replies. "come here."

you settle down on his lap, his arms are strong around your body. your head is buried on his neck just like he wants, he kisses your hair. you keep crying for a few minutes, he rubs your back and dries your fresh tears with his thumb. he is warm, his chest becomes a pillow.

"i'm sorry." you say when you finally calm down.

"don't." he says. "you've got nothing to be sorry for."

you look at him. he cleans the mascara stains on your cheek with his thumb.

"i was angry because of work." you start with a low voice. "i don't know how to finish things. i didn't mean to- upset you with my problems."

aemond gives you a broken smile. you talk as if he's never done the same to you. most of the time he's stressed, under so much pressure in his family's company and what happens to him affects you too. you're the kindest person he's ever known, always comforting him with your sweet touches and gentle words. he tries to do the same for you, but he feels like a failure now that you keep crying.

he gives you a big kiss on your forehead. "it's okay, sweetheart." he says. "you can be angry, you can be upset. it's been too overwhelming for you lately and- reacting to it is not your fault."

you put your head on his shoulder. aemond has never been good with people who needs comforting by him, most of the time he freezes and does nothing except waiting. with you, it's different. he always feels the urge to protect you, keep you safe. even if it's your own mind and your feelings that are battling against you right now, he'd try to fight.

he counts down minutes, careful with his fingers as he touches you. his fingers are soothing. you breathe in his cologne, the smell of the shampoo he likes. closing your eyes, there's only him. he holds you until your breathing turns normal, until your cheeks dry. he gives you a nice kiss on the side of your head when you move.

"can i make you some tea?" he asks, the most gentle you've ever heard him.

you nod, how can you refuse when he speaks as if the tea he makes will heal everything? he tucks you under your favorite blue blanket before he leaves for kitchen.

he comes back five minutes later. your eyes are heavy from the tears but you keep them open to see aemond. you're almost certain you won't be able to finish your tea but that doesn't matter. he'll make you countless cups of it if you ask him to.

you drink slowly, the room gets darker each minute as the sun goes down. aemond keeps your hand in his, his fingertips shaping little circles on your palm. you fall asleep with the half finished, nearly cold tea in your other hand.

he kisses your forehead and gives you a silent promise to never let go of your hand.

#aemond targaryen #aemond targaryen x reader #house of the dragon #aemond x you #aemond x reader #modern!aemond #hotd #aemond one eye #aemond targaryen x you #aemond targaryen x female reader #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond targaryen imagine #aemond targaryen fanfiction #hotd aemond #modern!aemond targaryen #modern au #aemond x fem!reader

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whatdoeseverybodywant · 1 day

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Rebuild & Restore - Chapter 8

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site, even if you give me credit. DO NOT REPOST MY FICS

Reblogs, comments, likes, and feedback ALWAYS appreciated ❤

All OC Characters belong to me

Monday Morning

Kiyana walked into work that morning feeling like shit was going to hit the fan. Her date with Eli was… wonderful.. It took a while for her embarrassment to go away from Josh showing up and showing his ass but after getting over that they had a great time. If she was being honest, she could see herself settinging down again with him. She had a soft smile on her face as she walked over to the nurses station after checking in on a patient.

Kiyana jumped as Debra plopped down on the chair next to her. “Spill the tea, tell me everything.” Kiyana laughed at her use of slang that she definitely learned from one of her grandchildren. Kiyana smirked and contented to chart, laughing when Debra reached over and turned off the computer monitor.

“Debra!.” She chortled, turning her chair to she was facing Debra who flagged her off.

“It was only the monitor, your work is good.” Debra rolled her eyes. “Spill!” Kiyana rolled her eyes aswell before telling Debra all about her and Eli’s date, minus her ex-husband showing up, she did not want to relive that, at all.

Kiyana told Debra all about her evening with Elijah, how he took her to The Grand Marlin, how they took a nice stroll on the beach after dinner and when Kiyana told Debra that she and Elijah had gone back to his place, Debra’s eyes were as wide as saucers.

“Wait, stop” Debra whispered, leaning in closer to Kiyana so none of the other nurses could hear what they were saying. “You guys didn’t… you know.” Kiyana bit her lip before she responded to Debra.

“No, I mean we didn’t go all the way, if you know what I mean.” Debra’s eyes were still wide but there was now a smirk on her face.

“Oh, I'm catching what you’re throwing.” she responded, making Kiyana laugh. “Was it good, better yet, was it better than your ex-husband?”

“Oh my god, Debra!” Kiyana mutters as she placed her head in her hands, feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment. Debra stared at Kiyana as she awaited her answer. “Oh my god” Kiyana muttered again “it was good, but no, nowhere as close.”

“Sorry to interrupt ya’ll.” One of the new nurses Arin, spoke up as she hung up the phone. “But we have a new patient coming into room 302. EMT’s said her contractions are 8 minutes apart, but she still wants to be admitted.” Kiyana nodded and stood from her seat to go get the patient’s room ready.

“We’re not done talking Nurse Jackson.” Debra called out after her and Kiyana made a yeah-yeah motion with her hand before walking away. Just as Kiyana finished putting a new sheet on the patient’s bed, the expected mother-to-be was rolled into the room.

“Hi, I’m Kiyana. I'll be your nurse today.” She says as she walks over and helps the patient into the bed.

“Nice to meet you.” The patient says, wincing in pain as another contraction hits her. Kiyana offers her hand so the patient could squeeze it. “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.” Kiyana smiles, “I’ve been in your position four times, I know them contractions hurt. Can I get your name and date of birth?”

“Alexis Daniels.”

'What a small world, Daniels isn't really a common last name.' Kiyana thinks as she logs into the computer to chart Alexis’ vitals.

“December 15th 1989”

“Perfect, and what is baby boy's name?”

“Me and my husband still haven’t fully agreed on a name yet, but I like the name Carter.”

“That is such a cute name. It was my top choice for my youngest as well, but me and my - we went with Kairo.” Kiyana said, smiling at Alexis as she chided herself in her head for almost getting too personal with the patient, not everybody needed to know she was a divorced mother. “I can still put Carter in the chart or we can just call him baby Daniels until you and your husband come up with a name.”

“Baby Daniels, is perfect. This is our third child but first boy and he really wants to be a part of the naming decision.” Alexis breathed out as another contraction hit her, she then cursed and threw her phone down next to her. “Speaking of husband, can you do me a huge favor.?”

Kiyana stopped typing and turned her attention to Alexis. “Sure, anything you need.”

Alexis smiles. “My husband actually works in this hospital, he’s a surgeon on the trauma floor. Do you think you can page him for me? He’s not answering his phone.” Alexis says, holding up her phone and Kiyana felt her stomach twist at Alexis’ words. 'Just a coincidence,' Kiyana thought. 'Just because her last name is Daniels doesn’t mean shit.'

“Mmhm, keep telling yourself that.” That other voice called out, making Kiyana frown.

“Sure, I can.” She finally responded, plastering a smile on her face. “What’s his name?”

“Elijah Daniels.” Kiyana digs her fingernails into her thigh to stop herself from cursing. She was hurt. She felt sick to her stomach as she thought about what she and Eli did last night.

“Shit, you got such a pretty pussy ma’” Elijah breathed out as he used his index and middle finger to spread her lips and suck her clit into his mouth. Kiyana moaned, lifting her hand to his head before frowning when she realized there was nothing there for her to grab on to. That thought quickly leaves her head as he thrust two of his fingers in her

She felt betrayed and played. Then she started to feel sick to her stomach. ‘Oh my god,’ She thought ‘I'm no better than that woman Josh was sleeping with.’

“Kiyana, are you okay?” Kiyana snapped out of her flashback, her voice shaking with anger as she responded back to Alexis

“I’m fine. I’m gonna go page your husband for you.” Kiyana turns her back to Alexis and storms to the nurses station, snatching the phone off the hook she - as calmly as she could - pages Elijah to the labor & delivery floor.

“Dr. Elijah Daniels to labor & deliver, Dr. Elijah Daniels to labor & delivery.” Debra arches an eyebrow at Kiyana.

“You missed him that bad?” She jokes, laughing then stops as she feels the anger radiating off of Kiyana. “Sweetly what happened?”

“That asshole is married with children! His wife is the patient in 302.” Debra’s jaw dropped open. “I feel so freaking stupid.” She hissed out just as the elevator dinged and the doors opened, revealing a cheerful Elijah who was smiling brightly as he made his way towards Kiyana.

“I knew that was you, are you okay? Is everything good?.” He smiled, and Kiyana struggled to maintain her composure, because at that moment, all she wanted to do was to smack that smile off his damn face. The more she looked at him, the angrier she got.

“I don’t know, you tell me.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “Your wife is in room 302 waiting to deliver your third child.” She felt a sick satisfaction flow through her as the smile slowly left his face. Debra quickly decided to leave them alone, deciding it was time to go check on her patient.

“Wait, I can explain.” Kiyana held her hand up, cutting him off.

“I don’t wanna hear shit you have to say to me Elijah. Think about how your wife will feel once she finds -'' Elijah gripped her arm and pulled her down the hall, away from the nurses station.

“She aint finding shit out, Kiyana. What I do ain’t none of her damn business.” When she tried to pull her arm away, he gripped it tighter, “You don’t know what I'm capable of Kiyana. You’re gonna go back in that damn room and help my wife through her discomfort and when the time comes, help deliver our child okay?!” He sneered at her, when she didn’t respond he squeezed her arm until she cried out in pain.

“Ow! Stop. Okay! Okay!” She cried out in pain, feeling her tears sting her eyes. Elijah let go of her arm and straightened out his lab coat.

“I’m gonna go check on my wife. I’ll see you later.” He brushed past her, leaving her rubbing her arm, where she knew she would be bruised, pulling his wedding ring out of the pocket and sliding it onto his finger.

🙃🫣

i'm gonna go into hiding now

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trippinsorrows · 2 days

Text

with me + part twelve

authors note: you guys are seriously the nicest and most supportive. the comments always make me stupidly smile and laugh cause not a single one of ya'll is gonna let bdj die off. 😭 also, i know a couple of people have commented and asked about the backstory with joe and jadah, and i promise it'll be explored deeper. there's a subplot i'm working towards unveiling here, and it's nearing the reveal part, but we're not there yet! i promise, though, it's gonna be touched on!!!

i also had to chop this chapter in half, because it's honestly so much stuff, so the next update shouldn't take as long cause it's almost done.

the next two are gonna be so fun. maybe some shit will go down too. we shall see.

status: in progress // masterlist

warnings: fluff, language, some angst, suggestive themes

song inspo: with me by destiny’s child

words: 8k

taglist: @pixiedust4000 @yolobloggers @southerngirl41 @msbigredmachine @wanderingreigns

“So let me get this straight, in the time that I’ve been gone, you and Joe told Callie he’s her dad, you found out Amir and Mariah been fucking behind your back, and you had a semi mental breakdown after running into your father and, plot twist, long lost sister.” She counts each off with a finger, then asking. “Did I miss anything?”

Nodding, you take a scoop of your ice cream before adding, “Joe told me he loves me.”

In true Alexis fashion, she randomly arrived in town the night before, completely unaware of all that transpired in her absence. So, you take this time while Callie sleeps to catch her up.

“Did I miss anything that I didn’t already know?” You give her a look, and she rolls her eyes, also eating some of her Rocky Road. “Come on, Y/N. Ray Charles could see that man is in love with you. You’re the one being stupid by not reciprocating.” Before you can push back against her, even if she isn’t entirely wrong, she switches topics. “Now when are we gonna go beat Lieriah’s ass? I told you it was something about that girl. She’s a snake.”

Typically the one to defend your friends, it’s hard to find it in you to come to Mariah’s aid. Nevermind the fact that she knows the shitty things Amir has done to you over the years, it’s the fact that she’s supposed to be your best friend but is messing around with same ain't shit ex? You would never do something like that to her, but maybe your loyalty to her has always been stronger than hers to you.

“I’m not worried about him or her. They’re not worth it.” That’s partially true, but the sting of betrayal is slow to pass and even slower to heal. You’ve always had mid to low expectations for Amir, but Mariah? That’s a crushing blow. “I have more important things to figure out.”

She studies you, leaning back against the headboard. “Your sister.”

“Bianca,” you correct. It’s too uncomfortable referring to her as such, even if that’s exactly what she is.

In the weeks since the big fireworks show—both metaphorically and figuratively—you’ve tried to slowly return to your sense of normalcy. Focusing on Callie—who is an entirely different issue in and of itself that you really need to talk to your mom about—being more on top of things at work, and navigating your relationship with Joe.

He hasn’t been back to visit since Christmas, but you figured as such. Wrestlemania season has arrived, and you know better than anyone how crazy that time is, especially with him main eventing.

But the one thing you haven’t really allowed yourself to think too much about is Bianca. You’d sent her a vague apology text a few days after your mad dash and explained that you were dealing with some things and just needed time to sort through them. That you’d reach back out when you were ready.

That still hasn’t happened, and it’s entirely intentional.

“I remember you mentioned that you always wanted siblings?”

“Yeah, cause we have so much to bond over,” you mutter, bitterly.

“Well, you actually do have a lot in common. She’s a teacher, like you. She has a daughter, like you—”

“You know what we don’t have in common?” You interrupt, feeling the agitation growing again. It’s not directed toward Alexis, just the situation in general. “A father who loves us.”

You were done referring to that man as your father. A father shows up. Like Joe. That son of a bitch isn’t even in the same universe as Joe.

Her expression softens. You didn’t tell her everything, just enough for her to get the gist that he’s a piece of shit. And you definitely did not tell her about the time you went to see him. You’ve never told anyone that story. Joe is now the only one who knows, and you’d like to keep it that way. It’s just….it’s just too painful. “I had no idea that was the situation there…..I’m really sorry, girl.”

“It is what it is. I don’t need him.” And you’re not too sure if you need Bianca either. “I’m just trying to figure out if I should power through this for Callie’s sake. You should have seen how she and Taylor clicked. I would hate to take that away from her.”

“I get that,” she acknowledges. “You have to make the decision that’s best for the long run, not necessarily how you’re feeling right now.” That’s very easy to say and nearly impossible to do. “Even if you just allow the girls to interact while you keep some distance with Bianca.”

You’re partially intrigued, spooning some more cookie dough. “How would that work?”

“They don’t live here, right?” You nod. “Maybe the girls can talk on Facetime or even play some game on their tablets. That won’t cause you to interact much with mom outside of coordinating virtual playdates, and Callie still gets to spend time with her cousin, or, not cousin."

You sit on her words, not expecting to be as open to the idea as you are. It’s a pretty genius compromise. “You really do give some great advice sometimes, you know that?”

“That’s what I’m here for,” she smiles mischievously, and you just shake your head. “Now, who’s gonna knock this bitch Mariah over the head with a steel chair? Me or you? Or should we hit her with a bus, Regina George style?”

“Alexis!”

________

You clearly don’t love yourself because you decided to do both yours and Callie’s washday on the same damn day. A Sunday, at that. Meaning, you have no choice but to get it done because you have work the next day.

And Alexis being in town would be even more of a benefit than it already is if she actually knew how to do hair. Natural hair. She can lay any wig down better than Tae, but caring for coils and curls is another story. It’s why you declined her offer, and she lays knocked out in your bed, while Callie is fast asleep in hers.

Thankfully, you have an insanely generous and sweet man who’s offered to talk to you while you power through this debacle, noodle arms, sleep deprivation, and all.

“Oh, before I forget again.” You grab the bottle of leave-in to apply more to the next section of hair. Shingling may give you the most definition, but it also gives you the most discomfort. “Can you be here May 8th?” A smile falls on your face. “Our baby is graduating preschool, and I know she’d want you there. I do too.”

“Shit, they have preschool graduations?” He seems genuinely taken back before answering. “But, of course I’ll be there.”

“I know. I used to think they were stupid, but now it’s my kid, so it’s the best thing ever. Her cap and gown should come some time in March, so I’m gonna have one of my old teammates who’s a photographer take professional photos of her.” It’s literally just preschool, but that’s still something she’s accomplished, and you want to commend the occasion the best you can. It’s been years since you’ve had professional photos of her taken anyway. Not since she was first born. “And yes, I’ll get extra for you.”

“How much—”

“Anyways, let me show you the tattoo.” Joe has already done so much, the least you can do is cover the photo costs. Even though you know him well enough to know he’ll find some way to contribute. Thankfully, the side of your hair that still needs to be shingled is clipped at the top of your head, so all you have to do is turn around and push down the thin strap of your shirt to reveal your latest ink. “He did an amazing job.”

“Shit, he did.” Joe’s agreement and approval somehow makes you even more satisfied with the outcome. Your Christmas gift to yourself was finally getting that Moana tattoo Callie has wanted to see on you since you told her you were getting one damn near a year ago. It’s on the back of your left shoulder, a black manta ray, some blue ocean-like coloring with one of your favorite lyrics from the movie: I will carry you here in my heart. You remind me, that come what may, I know the way.

It’s one of Callie’s favorite songs but also feels like an ode to your grandma as well.

He then asks, “do you want more?”

Readjusting your shirt and turning back around, you answer, “of course. More Disney but also….” This discussion triggers something for you, something that seems a little out there, but also maybe not. “I saw this tattoo on Pinterest that I want to get for Callie.” You grab your phone. “Let me send it to you.” It’s saved in your favorites folder and thus an easy send. Placing the phone back on the counter, you wait for him to receive and see it.

“I like it.” It’s a baby’s footprint with the name written in cursive and date of birth in print right underneath it. You’ve always wanted Callie’s name on you but couldn’t settle on a design until you came across that one. Something about it just resonates with you.

Licking your lips, you suggest, “why don’t you get it with me?” Couples getting matching tattoos isn’t something you’re entirely against, you just don’t agree with it for people who are only dating and not married, if marriage is the goal. You remember when Amir once suggested you do so, and you literally laughed in his face. You’d soon rather get branded with a tramp stamp than have that man’s name permanently burned into your skin.

But, matching tattoos for the child you created together with the man you love. That is something you could get behind.

And apparently so can he.

“Let’s do it.”

“Really?” You’re not sure why, but the ease of his agreement shocks you. It’s not too far-fetched when you think about it. He loves his daughter, and you’ve always known Joe to only get tattoos that have meaning. He could give you a detailed explanation for every piece of ink on his body.

“Yeah.” There’s almost a sense of excitement in his voice, like he’s eager to have her name on him, to share this with you. “Same location?” At that, you make a face. He laughs. “Inner bicep does hurt, I’m not even gon’ lie to you.”

Yeah, you’ve definitely heard as such, and considering his entire right side is tatted, he’d know. “I don’t know. I have to think about it. I might need to squeeze your hand the whole time, or I’ll end up punching the tattooist.”

He laughs, “you can squeeze my hand.” Joe then asks, “when do you want to get em’ done?” You start to think about it logistically, as well as financially. Tattoos aren’t cheap. “Do you want to go to the Super Bowl?”

His question surprises you because it’s such a change in topics but also….what? “Yup. And Hawaii and Puerto Rico. And then maybe if we have time, stop by Alice in Wonderland.”

He’s too good at matching your sass, retorting, “I can make the first two happen easily. The last one may be a stretch.” Rolling your eyes, you grab for the gel. “I’m serious though. My tattoo artist is based out of Vegas. The game is in Vegas this year. It’ll let me see Callie too, cause I’m having a hard time finding a gap to visit.” As he continues to speak without laughing or chuckling, you realize he’s dead serious. “I’ve been meaning to ask you to go anyway but kept forgetting.”

You need extra clarification. “Like this year's Usher concert where there’s apparently a game too?”

He rolls his eyes, providing the guest list. “It’s me and the twins, their family, some other fam…..we have a whole section, cause you know it's a bunch of us.” It’s still hard to sit on the fact that this man really just invited you to the fucking Super Bowl like it’s dinner at Golden Coral. His eyes soften. “I wanna see her. I wanna see you.”

Joe’s closing statement, so true and vulnerable, is what breaks you from your temporary state of shock. You get the sense he misses ya’ll just as much as you miss him. “Of course, we’ll go. I’m sorry, I just—I wasn’t expecting that.” And it’s true, you weren’t. “How will we get fl—”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll take care of everything. I just need you to show up at the airport.”

That seems to be such a recurring theme with this man. He does everything he can to make things as easy for you as possible. It’s tremendously appreciated and doesn’t go without notice.

“This is the first time she’ll be meeting the twins,” you realize aloud. Hell, his family at all.

Joe nods, chuckling. “Yeah, they’ve been on my ass about that anyway. They want to meet her.”

Pinning down the section you just finished, you take down the next. A little over halfway done now. “Whoever you want her to meet is fine with me, Joe. I don’t even really have a say in that. She has every right to meet your family just as much as she’s had to meet mine.”

And it’s true. Unless it could present some harm to Callie, you don’t really feel like you have the right to object to things like that. You have zero desire to interfere with Joe and Callie anymore than you already have.

“I know. I just wanted to tell her the truth before introducing her to anyone else. Less lies.” Makes sense. Thinking about Callie meeting more family brings a small smile to your face. It’s what she deserves. Family members who actually want to be in her life.

The conversation brings something else to the forefront of your mind, partially due to Joe’s confession to you on Christmas but also a question you’ve wanted to ask him for much longer than you’d like to admit.

“So….” This shouldn’t be as nerve wracking as it is. “There’s something I want to ask you, but I don’t…..I don’t want to overstep.” If he were to tell you that he’d rather you not, that’d be fine with you, one less stressful thing on your plate. But, of course, he’s silent, meaning he’s not going to object. So….you decide to bite the bullet and go for it. “What happened between you and your wife?”

You’re certain he wasn’t expecting that to be what you asked, but to your surprise, he answers. “We were young and got married for the wrong reason. I was 22. She was 21.”

Unsure but taking a big risk regardless, you ask in a small voice. “What was the reason?”

His answer isn’t what you’re expecting either. “She was pregnant.”

It takes a second for you to process what he’s saying. Your stomach is suddenly in knots, chest feeling tight. There’s no way he’s kept something like that from you. No way in hell. “Wait, does Callie have—”

“No.”

And just like that, you know. He doesn’t need to explain. It’s painfully obvious, especially as he looks away from the camera. You have a feeling you've unlocked a painful memory he’d most likely kept tucked away.

“I’m sorry.” It feels so stupid and unhelpful to say. What does that do for him? It doesn’t take away that experience, that loss that you can’t even begin to imagine. But, it’s all you can offer. “Just—forget I asked, let’s change the subject.” Do you have more questions? Of course. Like, why was there such a gap between their loss and the divorce? But, this is understandably a difficult and sensitive subject, and the last thing you want to do is trigger him more than you already have.

You know better than anyone how awful that can be.

He agrees with the subject change, going along with the transition of topics, clearly grateful for your understanding. But, in the back of your mind, you can’t help but think about the fact that this man lost his firs child before he could even meet the them, and the child he had who did survive was kept a secret from him for nearly five years.

There’s a sudden sickness and disgust you feel. And it’s not towards anyone but yourself.

Joe had every goddamn right to be furious with you about your subterfuge.

He still does. ________

“Mama, something is up with Callie.”

You’re thankful Alexis agreed to keep Callie preoccupied in the living room while you have this conversation with your mom, because Callie had another incident just this morning, slamming her door when you told her she needed to pick up her toys.

She’s never done that.

But she has done other things in the past two weeks or so, rolling her eyes or pouting her mouth at you when you say something she doesn’t want to hear, beyond typical tantrums.

Your mom stops her stirring at the pot to turn around and look at you. “What do you mean? Is she sick?”

“No,” you answer and then realize you’re not entirely sure how to explain it. She’s not being bad, per se. Just….difficult. “She’s just been…..off.”

Genuinely intrigued, and partially concerned, you watch your mom turn the fire on low as she joins you at the kitchen table. “Tell me.”

Shaking your head, you explain. “I thought it was just me, that I was just being overprotective and hyper-vigilant, but when I picked her up from preschool yesterday, her teacher pulled me to the side and asked me if she’s been having sleep problems. I told her no and asked why, and she told me Callie has been irritable. With staff and other kids.”

“Callie?” Your mom seems just as taken back as you were hearing these words. “That doesn’t even sound like her.”

“I know, and that’s what I said at first, but then I thought about it, and she’s been crabby with me too. It’s not horrible, but it’s unlike her.”

A small part of you wonders if it has something to do with you running off on her on Christmas. It would make sense. She was doing absolutely fine before then, but it’s the timing that throws that theory off. You’ve noticed this change only in the past two weeks, well after Christmas day passed, so why the delay?

“What does Joe think it is?”

“I haven’t told him.” It’s not that you don’t want to. You’d just like to have a better grasp of what it is before doing so. Have more actual information to provide him.

“He hasn’t seen the behavior for himself?”

You shake your head. “She’s fine with him. Matter of fact, after his calls, she’s like a completely different child.” It’s watching your mom’s face settle into a look of realization that makes you ask, “what? What is it?”

“Honey” she starts with a soft chuckle. “She’s missing her daddy.”

Her answer catches you by surprise, painting your face with confusion. You’ve had a lot of theories, but that definitely wasn’t one of them. “What?”

Reaching across the table, she places her hand over yours. “Think about it. How would she react if you were gone as much as he is? She’d be a mess, cause you’re her mama, and she has a strong attachment to you. Look how easily she attached and connected with Joe. It’s always been there. Except she knows the truth now, so her attachment is even stronger.” You heed to her explanation, wise and sensible. You hadn’t even thought of it that way. “And isn’t this the longest he’s been gone without her seeing him? She’s acting out because she misses him and probably doesn’t know how to verbalize it, so it shows in her behavior.”

As relieved as you are to have an explanation that makes sense, it’s an explanation that makes you incredibly sad for your sweet child. You know how hard it is for Joe to get away right now, you understand it. It never crossed you that she wouldn’t.

Devastated, you ask, “what do I do?”

“Talk to her. Try to help her understand. It may not make a huge difference, but it’s something.”

You nod, so so grateful for her, for all that she does for you, for Callie. For all that she’s done. Reaching across the table, you hug her tightly. “thank you, mama.” As much as it devastated you to not have that man in your life, your mom made sure to go above and beyond to make sure you knew you were loved. She played both roles beautifully, and you’re not sure you’ll ever be able to make her understand what that meant to you.

You still haven’t really sat her down and explained everything that happened Christmas night, nor has she asked, but you know it’s because she’s trying to respect your space. It’s appreciated, but you also know you’re gonna have to eventually tell her.

Just not now.

Right now, you’ve gotta take care of your baby.

________

Even the energy in Callie’s playroom feels off.

You’re so used to walking in and finding her with that million dollar smile that makes your entire day better. Instead, you walk in and she doesn’t even acknowledge your presence. She just continues to color.

“Hey, baby….” Disappointed, but refusing to show as such, you welcome yourself in and approach her table. “Is it okay if I color with you?”

She still doesn’t say anything, just nods, and you do your best not to hide your sadness. You hate seeing her this down, it’s so unfamiliar, and you’ll do just about anything to fix it.

Sitting down in the uncomfortable seat, you take a couple of her pages and pull out a crayon. “I have an idea.” At that, she looks up, slightly intrigued. “Why don’t we draw how we’ve been feeling lately? I draw me, and you draw you.”

You scold yourself for not selling it to her better, for not telling her it’s something you sometimes do with your students. Some level of innocent peer pressure. However, she surprises you by agreeing with a simple “okay.”

It takes a second for you to register that it was really that simple. Step one is done. Now for step two.

Grabbing some crayons, you don’t really concern yourself with skin tone, just getting something out on paper. The two of you color in silence, and you start to offer to put on her favorite playlist but decide against it.

You want her to really think about what you’re asking.

It’s when you see that she’s placed down her crayon and is just staring at her picture that you ask, “you done?” She shakes her head, but her eyes are on the table in front of her. “Is it okay if mommy sees it? I’ll show you mine too.”

Handing you the page, you expect an influx of emotions, but actually seeing her literal representation of how she feels is simply heartbreaking.

She’s drawn herself, frowning, surrounded by broken hearts and a blue tear leaking from her eye. Callie did what you asked. You just wish it didn’t have you feeling so helpless.

“This means you’ve been feeling sad, huh?” You hate how your voice gives away your emotions. This is about her, not you, but it’s so difficult for you to not be impacted. No mother wants to see her child hurting, and Callie currently is. It kills you. “Callie….” Moving up from your chair, you move across to kneel in front of her, taking her hands in yours. “Have you been sad because you miss your dad?”

All you need to hear is one sniffle, and instantly, you’re reaching for her, holding and comforting her.

“It’s okay,” you soothe, kissing the top of her head. “It’s okay, baby.” She cries into your chest, and you have to hold back your own tears.

“Why doesn't he come back?” She asks in between tears, wiping her eyes. “He’s been gone a really long time.” It’s only then you realize that she’s not entirely exaggerating. Joe was last here for Christmas. It’s now the end of January. For a child like Callie, that must feel like an eternity.

“He would if he could, Callie. I promise you he would. Daddy just…he gets really busy with his job this time of the year, and he can’t leave or he’ll get in trouble.” It’s so difficult to explain this to her. WrestleMania season is inarguably chaotic and stupidly busy. Even back in the day, Joe’s trips to see you were most far and few in between during this time of year. And that was before he even had a title. You can’t even imagine how busy he must be as the literal fucking face of the company.

Enough to keep him from being able to come see you and Callie.

You’ve just gotten so used to the dynamics of him being away for periods at a time that it never occurred to you Callie hasn’t had the same experience. That at the end of the day she’s still a little kid who just wants to be with her dad.

It’s then that a thought crosses your mind.

“What if…..what if we went to see daddy?” For the first time since you stepped into the room, her eyes actually light up and you notice her tears lessening. “Instead of him coming to us, we go see him?”

“Really?” There’s the faintest smile on her face, and you know then that you’re going to make this happen. You don’t know how or in what way, but it will be a reality. No matter what it takes.

“Yeah,” you answer, brushing away some of her tears. “You can go see him at his show. He’d love that.” Not as much as she clearly loves the idea alone. “Now, we’d only be able to stay a day or maybe two but—”

“Please,” she interrupts, and you get the sense that she fears you’re going to find a way to say that you couldn’t or shouldn’t go. “I’ll be a good girl. I promise.”

“Baby, you’re already the best girl.” You push back some of her hair, resting your hand against her cheek. “Mama’s gonna make it happen, okay? I promise.”

If you have to sell one of your kidneys, then you’ll just be less one organ, because you’re getting your baby to that damn show. Matter of fact, you don’t say anything to her, but you’re wondering if you can make it to this week’s upcoming show. It’s only Sunday, and that gives you a couple of days to make arrangements and secure tickets. It’s doable, but you don’t want to get her hopes up, so just in case, you say nothing.

And yes, in the back of your mind, you know she’ll see Joe in a couple of weeks for the game, but that’s too long. Your child is hurting. You need to do something now. She can’t wait that long.

“Thank you, mommy!” She wraps her little arms around you, and just like that, you see the spark and joy that fills your days with light and laughter. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, baby.” Kissing her temple, you release her, realizing something else. “Now we can't tell your daddy because we’re gonna surprise him, okay? Can you do that for me?”

She nods, happily, unaware of the real reason. You know that you can’t tell Joe about this. Well, not now at least. This is not something to be discussed over the phone or even video chat. And if you tell him you want to take her to see him as soon as possible, he’ll know something is up.

So, you have to move in silence.

Coloring with Callie commences for a little longer as you value and cherish your time with her, but as soon as she’s down for her nap and before you wake Alexis from hers to tell her the news, you need to do something. It’s in that time bonding with her you realized how you’re going to make this happen.

You’re suddenly immensely grateful for that random conversation you’d had with Joe a while back regarding the fact that he and the twins have had the same phone number since they were in high school.

Pulling out your phone, you scroll through your contacts until you land on the one you need. You type, backspace, and type some more, only sending out the text once you’re fully pleased with it.

You: Hey, Jon. This is Y/N. Can you call me when you get a chance? Preferably sooner rather than later. I need your help with something. And please don’t tell Joe. It’s a surprise.

________

God clearly wants you to bring Callie to see Joe.

There’s just too many things that have lined up perfectly for that not to be the case. The discussion with your principal went well, though that wasn’t entirely surprising. You’ve always had a cordial relationship and know she respected your grandma. The whole school system in your town did. That was just her level of impact. But that respect has slid down to work in your favor as your principal told you to take as much time as you need.

“You’ll always have a job here.”

While not a huge concern, it’s reassuring and not entirely unsurprising. Again, your grandma’s impact definitely granted you a level of nepotism. You were slightly surprised when she actually encouraged you to take more time off, pointing out how in the almost nine years you’ve worked there, she could count on one hand how much PTO or vacation time you’ve used. And, it’s true. It was really only when Callie was sick and your mom couldn't help or you wanted to stay home and nurse her back to health that you called out. For the most part, you had damn near perfect attendance.

But, that’s certainly about to change, and you’re thankful you have a job that’s flexible enough to accommodate the change.

And then there’s the actual getting there. You should have known when Alexis was asking questions about when you and Callie were leaving that she was up to something. You naively chalked it up to her planning her flight out, as there was no way you expected her to wait around for ya’ll to get back. Instead, she was busy buying not just her ticket to come with ya’ll but yours and Callie’s as well.

You instantly felt bad when she forwarded you the itinerary information. You couldn’t see the cost, but you weren’t stupid either. Getting flights out with such short notice had to be expensive as all outdoors. You were just going to put the bill on your credit card and work to pay it off. And, of course, when you offered to pay her back, she nearly cussed you out. As if such an offer was insulting.

“What good is a trust fund if you can’t spend it on your college roomie and pretend godchild?”

So, while you still felt slightly uncomfortable, you were able to push it to the backburner for the sake of Callie. This is all for her, and you don’t care what it takes to make it happen. Even if it means sucking up your pride.

And deep down, you know if Alexis didn’t do what she did, Joe would somehow find a way to compensate you. The same way his ass somehow got his card on file at the hospital and covered all of Callie’s medical bills without ever even asking you if you needed help.

You still haven’t talked to him about that, not really having or finding the right time, but it also feels a bit bitchy and ungrateful to be upset with the man for covering his daughter’s medical expenses.

Then there’s the actual show itself. One thing you were initially concerned about was if Joe has a match lined up for this upcoming week’s show. You two have only had a couple of discussions about it but still enough for you to learn that he’s extremely hesitant to expose Callie to his wrestling persona.

“I don’t want her seeing me like that, thinking that’s who I am.”

And you understand him fully. Roman may be a fascinating character, but he’s equally narcissistic and ruthless as he is intriguing. The complete opposite of Joe and who he is.

Still, you’ve worked to help him understand that talking to Callie, explaining to her that he’s playing a “character” could help her understand better. You both are in agreement that she’s too young to watch actual matches, especially his as they tend to get brutal, but she can see certain promos. And she does. You let her watch a couple where the dialogue is safe enough to go over her head. And truth be told, she’s so focused on watching Joe that she's not really paying attention to what’s being said anyway.

Needless to say, you were massively relieved to hear from Jon that Joe doesn't have a match lined up and his promo is reportedly tame and safe enough for Callie’s eyes and ears. He didn’t give specifics, but from one parent to another parent, you trust his judgment.

And the most important thing of all is the fact that Callie has done a complete 180. She’s no longer as irritable, just the usual attitude when she’s sleepy or hungry. Just like her mama. And there’s that spark of joy in her eyes. She’s even started packing what she wants to bring with her. She knows you’ll only be there for one night, but even that can’t seem to dim her joy.

It makes your heart swell.

All of this brings you to your conclusion that you’re doing exactly what you should be doing.

“Ahhh, and here it is.” The old woman’s voice breaks you from your inner dialogue as she walks toward the counter, returning from the back. “Sorry about that sweetheart.”

“No worries, Mrs. Ella.” Your eyes light when you see the item in her hand, even if it’s covered by a cloth bag. The fact that it’s ready is more than enough to make you smile. “Thank you so much for agreeing to this.”

She waves off your concern, offering a warm smile. “Your grandma was one of my best friends. As far as I’m concerned, anything you need is a done deal.”

That warms your heart. Mrs. Ella has been the town seamstress for longer than you’ve been alive but doesn’t look a day over 50. She’s not lying either. Your grandma always cited her as one of her “life” sisters.

“Why don’t we take a look to make sure it’s alright?” She offers, removing the item from the garment bag. She takes the hoodie and turns it over so you can see the back.

In awe, you acknowledge, “it’s perfect.”

Among the many things Joe has gifted Callie, WWE apparel hasn’t really been included in that list. You’ve chalked it up to his hesitation about familiarizing her with his Roman persona. However, you know that girl loves her daddy and will support him in all the things, so you took it upon yourself to pick her up a few items over the holidays. One of those things being a black hoodie with Roman’s picture on the front with him wearing one of his head of the table shirts. Wanting to make it special and personal, you had the idea of customizing it. Thus, asking Mrs. Ella to add to the back, Acknowledge my daddy!, and she did a fabulous job. It looks like that was the original design.

Pulling out your wallet, you ask, “how much do I owe you?”

“It’s on the house.”

Your eyes snap to her. “Mrs. Ella, no, this was a rush—”

“Don’t argue with your elders, child,” she scolds, and you smile warmly. “Just show me a picture of her wearing it, and we’ll be even.”

Moved by her generosity, you offer your gratitude again. “Thank you, Mrs. Ella. Seriously. Thank you.”

Hand over yours, she just nods and then ushers you out the door, “well, you better get a move on child.”

With a small laugh and one more thank you, you leave out with the hoodie, excited to show Callie and even more, to see Joe’s reaction when he sees her wearing it.

“Y/N?”

Fuck. You’d know that voice anywhere, have known it since you were five years old.

That doesn’t mean you have to heed to it.

You keep walking.

A stupid decision, because the footsteps behind you become louder and faster as she asks, exasperated, “would you just talk to me?”

You spin around, suddenly pissed at her repeated question. “Why? Why should I talk to you?”

You’ve dodged and ignored her texts the same way she did yours, so what’s the issue now? Being on the receiving end must be one hell of an unpleasant experience for her. Not that you give two shits. Mariah is the last thing on your plate right now.

Mariah seems taken back, and that just pisses you off more. How can she not see her wrong in this situation? “You’re my best friend, Y/N. We’ve been friends since we were in kindergarten. Does that mean nothing to you?”

“Did it mean something to you when you were fucking Amir?”

Something you can’t identify flashes in her eyes followed by apparent hurt. “Are you serious right now? You’d really believe him over me.” It’s hard to tell how sincere her watery eyes are or if they’re performative. You’ve never known her to be fake, but then again, maybe you’ve never really known her at all. “That’s fucked up.”

Finding some level of compassion and understanding for the woman you called your best friend for almost your entire life, you try to offer her the benefit of the doubt. “Okay, let’s say you’re not fucking him. At the very least, you’ve been telling him my business while ignoring my texts and calls. Like, what the fuck, Mo?”

She shakes her head. “He came to me, worried about you—”

“He came to you nosy and upset because I cut it off with him, and you fell into his trap.” How she can possibly fall for Amir’s bullshit is beyond you. She knows how he is. Hell, she’s been right beside you, up until recent weeks/months, dealing with his bullshit. So, her excuse is just that—an excuse. “And even if he was, as my best friend, you should know that’s still girl code violation.”

It feels almost silly citing that, but the morals behind it still ring true. You would never talk to Caleb about things going on in her life when you know they’re not on good terms. And you damn sure would never fuck him.

“Girl code?That’s funny coming from you, because you didn’t seem to to care about girl code when you were fucking another woman’s husband and had a whole ass baby for him.”

Her words stop you dead in your tracks. Any facial expression you may have been showing is dropped and neutral. Even your voice is softer, less accusatory. “Excuse me?”

For her to say that to you, knowing how sensitive a subject that is truly takes you by surprise. Truly.

It doesn’t stop there though. “I mean, forreal, Y/N. You’re up in my face about Amir, but aren’t you still fucking Joe? Shit, how many niggas do you need?” It’s hard to believe the words coming out her mouth, so angry and hostile. But, even her volume rising has you stumped. It’s like she wants to draw an audience. “It’s not enough to be one man’s whore, but you still gotta have another on the side?”

Truly baffled, all you can ask is, “where is this coming from?”

She sucks her teeth, just as irritated, if not more by your question. “It’s always been this shit with you. You do whatever the fuck you want and don’t care who you hurt or betray in the process!”

And now you’re just straight up confused, because what have you ever done to her? Cause that’s what it sounds like she’s implying. Like you’ve done her wrong. Like you’ve been doing her wrong. “What are you even talking about?”

“You got Joe. You got Amir. Shit, when is enough enough for you?” She scoffs, and it’s hard for you to even look at her let alone listen to all the hurtful things she’s spewing. “Like damn, find a new hobby. Focus on raising your kid—”

And that…..that is the moment that you’re no longer confused, or hurt, or saddened to hear your best friend say such awful things. You’re pissed. Cause one thing no one can convince you you’re not, is a good mother. You’ve dedicated your entire life and being to taking care of Callie, making sure she’s straight. That’s always been your priority, and for her to suggest otherwise….those are really fighting words.

You step toward her, finding all of the will in the world not to shatter her jaw. “You and I have so much history. It is the only reason I’m not whooping your ass right now, but know this, Mariah. This was your freebie. Fuck with me again, speak on my child again, and I’ll bash your fucking head into the nearest wall.” It’s not a threat. It’s a promise. “Stay away from me, bitch.”

You don’t give her time to respond or even yourself the chance to lay her out, you instead rush to your car, locking the door and speeding out of the parking lot.

Your knuckles are nearly white with how tightly you’re gripping the steering wheel.

It’s been a while since you’ve been this hot. Years maybe. Amir would piss you off, sure, but never to the extent of your emotions in this moment. It truly took all resolve and imagining Callie’s disappointed face at not being able to see her dad because you got yourself locked up for aggravated assault to keep you from beating Mariah’s ass. She knows better than anyone that you don’t play about your daughter, so for her to include Callie in her mud slinging is not only repugnant but hurtful.

She’s supposed to be Callie’s godmother.

But beyond that, you’re having a hard time reconciling with the rest of the things she was saying. It didn’t feel like something that’s been building up over the past few months. No, this was different. Much…..deeper.

Regardless, you don’t have time to deal with this shit. You need to put your focus on preparing to bring your little girl to see her dad.

Mariah can fuck off.

She’s always been all bark and no bite anyway.

________

“Mommy.”

Callie doesn’t even have to say anything else for you to know a request is to follow.

“What's up, sis?”

She climbs on top of where you lay on the sofa, you and Alexis watching some random dating show she swears up and down is the best thing since Love is Blind. So far, you’re entirely unimpressed. Granted, reality shows of any kind have never been your cup of tea in the first place.

Your YouTube history is mostly crime documentaries and Bloodline videos.

She climbs on top of you, throwing her arms up and shouting, “dance party!”

Of all her typical requests, that’s one you haven’t heard in a while.

You’ve always raised Callie with music, even back when you were pregnant, you would take your Beats and place them on your belly. It’s seemingly worked because this child loves music, so much so that you two would have random “dance party’s” where you’d blast music and dance around, no care in the world, just the two of you.

You haven’t had one in a while, but seeing Callie so happy, a stark contrast from how she’s been is more than enough to get you up and on your feet. You look over at Alexis. “Come on, Lex, it’s dance party time.”

She feigns a gasp, looking at Callie for approval. “Do I get to come to this party?”

Callie giggles and jumps on the sofa. “Of course! Everyone can come to dance party!”

What’s also ironically funny is the fact that you and Alexis used to have dance parties all the time in your dorm, just often with much more explicit Travis Porter, Speaker Knockerz, type music and a lot of ass shaking.

“Well tonight, it’s just the three of us,” you laugh, grabbing your phone and opening your Spotify to figure out what will be your kickoff song. It’s when your eyes land on that one though, you know you’ve found it.

Connecting your phone to your Bluetooth, you confirm the connection and hit play.

We're a thousand miles from comfort, we have traveled land and sea

But as long as you are with me, there's no place I'd rather be

“My favorite white girl song ever!” Alexis shouts, starting to dance with Callie who’s just as excited about your selection. Together, the three of you dance and sing when the iconic chorus hits.

If you gave me a chance I would take it

It's a shot in the dark but I'll make it

Know with all of your heart, you can't shake me

When I am with you, there's no place I'd rather be

At some point, Alexis grabs your phone, recording and capturing the laughter and joy you experience dancing and being silly with your very, very best friend. Callie’s laughter could revive any soul, and it’s so genuine. Even more, you know a large chunk of it is her excitement to see her dad in a couple of days.

And that makes it all the more special.

Eventually needing a break and time to catch your breath, you laugh as the song ends and the next one starts. Lex and Callie immediately go at it for round two, spinning around and dancing to Dance the Night.

You take a second to check your phone, seeing that you have a Snapchat from Joe. Frowning, you open the message confused as to why he’s using that and not just text. He only has the damn app because you made him get it. He’s not very big on social media outside of occasional Instagram posts.

Swiping it open, you see why he was messaging you on there.

Because your wonderful best friend sent him the video she recorded of the three of you dancing.

Joe: How do I save this?

Joe: Fuck it. It’s too confusing. Just send it to me.

Laughing, you chew on your bottom lip and type out a reply.

You: You’re such an old man. 😩

You: But yes, I’ll send it, even if I didn’t know Alexis was recording to send it to you...

You: Callie loves “dance parties” lol

Joe: I love her laugh. She looks so happy…

You: I know. ❤️ She loves music. Def my kid.

You: Skillet is next on the queue, btw. 🙃

Joe: Don’t know what that is, but if I had to take a guess, it’s some rock shit.

You: You know me so well. 😊

Joe: Of course, baby.

Leaving his thread, you realize that if she sent it to Joe, she probably posted it to your private story as well, which is fine. You only have people on there you know and trust to keep the contents within that space.

But, it’s in checking the views that you see Mariah not only watched but screen recorded your story. It’s strange, normally you wouldn’t think twice about it. She’s always screenshotted and screen recorded stuff you posted, and you did the same with Micah.

But now…..

Now, it feels wrong to share these moments with her. She’s lost that privilege.

Moving to your contacts, you ignore her old Snapchat name she never uses anymore and instead just block her primary one from seeing your stories, and that includes close friends. And interestingly enough, when you check your texts, you see one from her muted thread that momentarily causes you to pause.

Mariah: Kinda stupid to ice out the one person who knows everything about you.

But the pause comes and goes, Mariah always says shit, and that’s where it stops, the saying. She’s always been the mouse of you two, and that shit ain’t changed.

Closing up the app, you switch back to Spotify and focus on what’s before you and not behind you.

You have all the people you need in your life.

Mariah can fuck off.

#roman reigns x black!oc #roman reigns x black!reader #roman reigns fic #roman reigns #arisnotebook

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shadow4-1 · 2 days

Note

Your hubby let u sleep with his friends ??? okkk girll i see you living the life we all want too (share ur secrets😣)

Oops I forgot I said that. Well...yes it's true. I've slept with a handful of my husband's friends (all of it was talked about beforehand, planned out, etc.)

Both my husband and I are bisexual. All of his friends he's had for years - since they were babies pretty much. They're all exceptionally close and they've experimented a lot together before I ever even came into the picture.

Besides my husband, none of them have girlfriends or wives (they're all in their late 20s now). I used to think it was a red flag but now I just realize they're all just tied to each other and fulfil their emotional needs that way. In fact, two of them are identical twins. They were suspicious when they met me at first (but after I witnessed a couple of them kissing my husband, let's just say they quickly came to realize I was definitely the girl for him).

(This picture is almost 10 years old. That's my husband in the blue jacket with half his friend group. We went out to a club, so all of us were piss drunk in the back of that taxi.)

Now, I'm not going to generalize Scottish men/people. I'm just going to give ya'll a rundown on what I've learned/observed over my multiple trips to Scotland. I've noticed that they tend to -

- Be chivalrous. Not a single guy I met (husband or otherwise) was rude or didn't use his manners the whole time I was there. And if they were amongst friends they had no issue with calling each other out for their bad behavior. Now that, that was nice to see. (So, yes, Soap's definitely has his manners and knows how to follow decorum well.)

- Be loud. Almost every man I met was boisterous and bright. Even the quiet ones (once I got them to talk) were animated. The culture over there is different than America (where I'm from), everyone seems to know everyone. So no one is seemingly scared of "strangers", they're usually pretty curious. (So, yes, Soap's talkative and interesting personality checks out.)

- Fight. Now, this one is because I spent a lot of time in bars. Again, unlike America, it's different. They don't carry guns (maybe a knife but even that's not the norm). Usually it's just a lot of posturing, yelling, and intimidation. But, if they actually decide to swing, usually the crowd will break it up and/or throw them outside. Fighting over there is kind of seen as a necessary evil. (So, yes, when they say Soap is a bit of a hot head and hops into fights I can definitely confirm it.)

- Welcome with open arms. I'm a plus size POC and most of the people you'll find in Scotland are Caucasian. You'd think there'd be some friction between me and the locals, but no. Not once was I ever treated unfairly by anyone. In fact, people loved to chat with me. I spent a lot of my time talking with strangers. (So, yes, Soap not batting an eye at Ghost and his ridiculous get up is on brand. He cares much more about getting to know the person underneath.)

I could go on. Maybe one day I'll be able to live my retirement years in Scotland. It's beautiful and green and walkable. Also they have Irn Bru, Jammie Dodgers, and my absolute favorite - Bairns Sausage Rolls. I'd immigrate just for those haha!

So yeah, I know a think or two, and Soap is a pretty great Scottish representation in my opinion. My husband is indifferent to him but maybe it's because he seems the similarities haha. If you want to hear more about my trysts I have no problem sharing! I've seen a lot and done alot in my short time here on Earth and trust me when I say I'm not stopping anytime soon! 😂

#call of duty #cod mwii #cod mwiii #john soap mactavish #shadow speaks

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velvetvexations · 2 days

Note

I just want to rant about my least favourite Julia Serano post/passage/concept, because as a transmasc nonbinary person this genuinely raises my blood pressure. Sorry about how long this is lmao

Link: https ://juliaserano.blogspot.com/2014/02/what-is-subversivism.html

It's her concept of "subversivism": bigotry that posits trans people as non-subversive, and compliant with the social order of patriarchy. Essentially, it's the impossible expectation that trans people should always be subversive to gender norms in everything they do. TERFs do this a lot, by claiming that the existence of trans people who happen to fit a gender stereotype (e.g. a trans woman w/ feminine interests, a nonbinary person that dresses androgynously) mean they support gender roles.

This is a really good concept! It's very useful for explaining how anti-trans activists, particularly TERFs, talk about trans people.

The only problem is that instead of talking about her own experiences with subversivism, or using some kind of source as an example of how subversivism works, she spends most of the post/chapter making harmful assertions with no basis in reality. Specifically, she asserts that transmasculine people are seen as more subversive than transfeminine people, and that genderqueer or GNC people benefit from subversivism. And she doesn't even attempt to have a source for it, because if she talked to a single transmasculine or nonbinary person about subversivism, they would tell her that they've experienced it too. Hell, even if she just looked at how TERFs talk about transmasculine and nonbinary people, she'd see that subversivism is a common tactic. So the piece is filled with bigoted bullshit.

In one part she notes that masculinity is associated with power/boldness, but femininity is associated with weakness/timidness. And she suggests that may be why transfeminine people are seen as non-subversive, which is true! But that's also the exact reason why transmasculine people are also seen as non-subversive: in a TERF's eyes, transmascs want to go from weak femininity to powerful masculinity, which is seen as the "easy way out" of misogyny. Later, she mentions transmasculine people being supposedly welcomed into queer and feminist spaces, but fails to consider that often this "acceptance" is often contingent on being misgendered and treated as a woman. (I think some of your more recent reblogs have also talked about this). In her more recent book, she even refers to subversivism as "compulsory genderqueerness". This is clearly meant as a nod to the concept of compulsory heterosexuality. But genderqueer is not in any way a privileged identity like heterosexuality, and it's extremely offensive to suggest that it is! Some studies even indicate that nonbinary/genderqueer people have worse mental health than binary trans people. (Unlike her, I have a source for that: https ://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s11930-017-0111-8).

And what's most frustrating to me is that she knows better! Like, it'd be one thing if this was just a tumblr post by a random trans person. But Julia Serano is a published academic, and very well respected in the trans community. She has done legitimately good work, too - her work on debunking AGP and ROGD is a genuinely good resource. So she knows full well that sweeping statements like the ones she makes in this piece need a source. In the blog post she magically remembers how to use sources when she talks about oppression of bi people, which makes it all the more frustrating. And the thing is, I'd also be fine with it if she didn't mention transmasculine or nonbinary people at all, and only talked about her own experiences. I'm not even asking to be included, just to be… not demonised, or gaslighted about my own experiences of transphobia!

Now, Whipping Girl was published over 15 years ago, and she might have changed her opinion since then. But she pretty clearly hasn't, since she was reposting her passage from Whipping Girl about it on Twitter a few months ago! That's how I found out about it in the first place. Honestly, it's a testament to how pervasive anti-transmasculinity and anti-nonbinary rhetoric are in the trans community that Whipping Girl is regarded as a core text for transfeminism, but I've barely seen anyone else talk about the blatant misinformation in it.

Anyway that's the end of my rant, sorry it's so long but I could write so much about this lmao

What is velvetvexations.tumblr.com if not a place to complain about Whipping Girl? You're valid, anon.

It's really not hard to tell why so many people who worship her do the same thing where they compulsively compare everything to how much better they very wrongly believe non-trans women have it. Even if she doesn't personally believe the exact same things her attitudes have bare minimum greatly influenced this bullshit and she needs to reign it in.

Like, is it bad to place responsibility on her like that? To say she needs to put in time and effort countering these things and educating herself where need be? I don't think so. She is, evidently, the Queen of Transfeminism, she, apparently, wrote the transfeminism Bible, as far as I'm concerned it's her job to climb back into the trenches when people start abusing her shit.

#whipping girl #julia serano #transmisogyny #transandro phobia

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aphrmoosun · 1 day

Text

{Noa and the Beast}

Nomae: One shot

• Sipnosis.

Noa is the new leader of the clan, his responsibility was to his own. But an Echo enters their lives and they decide to kill her due to the ancient writings that defined her as dangerous. But when Noa has her in front of him, his world changes completely...

• Pair.

Noa and Mae

• Movie.

Kingdom of the planet of the apes {Half AU}

• Tags.

Nomae, interspecies relationship, interspecies sex, interspecies romance, yes it is a ship fic, smut, romancing, Beauty and the Beast, Half AU, Noa hunt Mae, but the Noa falls in love with Mae, Long One Shot, Writer isn't English Native Speaker, etc

• Other nomae fanfics.

You and Me

No words

_________________________________

DO NOT COPY OR SHARE IT ELSEWHERE WITHOUT PERMISSION!

• Noa and the Beast [One Shot]

**First Act**

_________________________________

The day was coming to an end. Noa was returning home with a successful hunt. He and his friends had managed to catch a pair of rabbits and a adult deer, earning them a warm welcome.

The situation was difficult for the village. Since his father had died, he and his mother were the only hope for their survival. They had to lead the rest to survive, and that was his duty as the new leader of the village.

"Well done, son," his mother said.

Noa sat down beside his mother, hugging her and offering her a piece of food, which she refused.

Their happiness was interrupted by some apes who arrived running and shouting.

"It's an Echo! We've seen one near here!"

Noa managed to understand what one of them was saying.

"Calm down," Noa said, standing up and addressing them. "It's probably just passing through. Echos usually move when it starts to get cold."

"This one is different. We've heard it talk! It was settling near the village."

Another ape spoke up, frightened.

"Don't worry, it won't hurt us."

"You don't understand. Echos are evil, the farther away from us, the better."

"If that means underground, even better."

"Yes!"

Many of the apes supported the idea of killing the Echo.

"We can't act impulsively. We need to think with a clear head."

Noa defended the idea of reaching a consensus.

"You're our leader. You must defend our home from those things!"

The ape began to feel the pressure from his village. Everyone wanted to see how the new leader would handle a dangerous situation.

"Fine! I'll take care of it myself." Noa didn't like the idea, but he said, "Tomorrow, I'll go to where you saw it and bring back proof that the Echo is no longer a problem."

Noa received a big ovation, but he couldn't take his eyes off his mother, who disapproved of his attitude.

_________________________________

**Second Act**

_________________________________

Anaya and Soona, Noa's best friends, were already ready to go after the Echo. They were determined to accompany their leader, not just as friends, but as family.

The plan was to approach the Echo on foot, without horses, so as not to scare it, and kill it with the arrows they used for hunting. But Noa had taken something else from the village - a remedy that they took when they felt pain, in case he couldn't bear the scene, he would give it to the Echo himself.

It would have been just another Echo, but the idea of being able to hear one talk for the first time had haunted him all night. What if he could talk to it? What if it could defend itself by talking? What set them apart from animals if they couldn't talk?

But his village needed him. They had never encountered an Echo like this before, and it was a danger to his people. It was written that way.

When they were far enough from the village, Noa turned to his friends, stopping them.

"I have to go alone from here."

"What? No, we're not going to leave you." Soona approached him, grabbing his hands.

"Soona, I have to do this alone. I'm the leader now, and I have to be responsible for my words and my responsibilities towards our people. And one of those responsibilities is taking care of you too."

"I don't care about your position. We also want to take care of you."

Anaya joined the two, and they ended up in a three-way hug.

"I'm sure I can handle this. But I need to do it alone." He finally convinced them.

Anaya and Soona walked away, and he began to walk forward. He didn't look back, it would be easier to fulfill his responsibility alone and as the leader he had to be.

_________________________________

**Third Act**

_________________________________

He could observe her easily. She didn't seem to have seen him, and she continued with her life as usual. She walked back and forth, going to and from the river near the home she had built.

She was very resourceful. With the help of stones, branches, sticks, and leaves, she had built a kind of settlement near the river. She had everything she needed to survive just a few steps away.

Noa couldn't help but analyze her. From her physical features to her delicate movements. What she seemed to be doing was cooking with leaves and fruits he couldn't recognize.

They had warned him that this Echo was not normal. If she could talk, it was already very different from the ones he had encountered before, but he had never imagined what he had in front of him. If it weren't for her small body, little hair, small eyes, small hands, small waist, the bulge on her chest, and small feet, he could have sworn he was looking at an ape.

But he had to push those thoughts out of his mind. He had come to kill her, and he had already wasted too much time analyzing her.

He raised his bow and placed the arrow right at the Echo's heart direction. His hands were shaking. It was the first time they had shaken like that. He had to admit, this wasn't a normal hunt. He wasn't going to kill her out of necessity, nor did he need her skin or any part of her body. He was going to kill her because he feared her. Not just him, but his people. And that had to be his thought, his people were waiting for him to bring back proof of the event.

His vision became blurry as his heart began to beat strongly, he couldn't look. He released the arrow without being able to see well where it was headed.

"Ah!"

He heard the Echo's despairing cry.

_________________________________

**Fourth Act**

_________________________________

Noa found himself in front of the Echo. His blurry vision and sweaty hands hadn't allowed him to hit his target. His main objective was the Echo's heart, but due to his nerves, the arrow had ended up hitting one of her sides.

She looked at him with open, frightened eyes, trembling while she held her side. She had pulled out the arrow and was trying to stop the bleeding.

Noa could have stood there, watching her die from bleeding, but he couldn't help but approach her and offer her a piece of cloth from his own arm to stop the bleeding.

The human looked at him doubtfully, taking the cloth.

"Why?"

He didn't know what to answer. Why had he attacked her? Why was he helping her? Because his heart was in constant struggle over what was right against his mind.

Echos had to be kept away. They wouldn't approach them, and they wouldn't live with them. Beyond the Valley was forbidden to cross because Echos were there.

The elders of his clan described them as monsters that killed each other, creatures that took everything around them and massacred it. Wild animals that would kill their own siblings for power.

But in front of Noa, he saw a smaller creature than him, harmless, and not having harmed them, alone, and with no signs of damage to nature around her. Not even signs of fires or dead animals.

Noa crouched down beside the human and covered her wound, helping her stop the bleeding.

"I don't know why. Neither do I."

_________________________________

**Fifth Act**

_________________________________

Noa had decided to move the unconscious Echo to the nest of leaves covered by a roof of branches. At least there, she would be comfortable and covered in case the sun bothered her or it rained. But he had to go back to the village, he had to go back to Anaya and Soona, because if he took too long, he was sure they would come to see what had happened to him, and that wouldn't be good.

He had to do it quickly. Kill the nearest animal he could find, so he would have something to feed the Echo when she woke up, but also use a significant part of it to show in his village, her heart.

A hare had been the sacrifice for his plan, he didn't have time to go for a bigger animal, and with the hare's heart, he was sure his village would calm down.

He took long strides, quickly, so as not to take too long. Right where he had left them, Anaya and Soona were waiting for him. They ran to hug him and looked at what he was carrying.

"Did you do it?" Soona asked, stepping back from the hug.

"Yes."

He was lying. He was lying to his friends for an Echo. But he didn't have another choice.

In the village, they received him as the leader he was. With hugs and praise towards him. He couldn't bear the weight on his chest. He was lying to everyone.

"Son, are you okay?" His mother was the only one who could feel something in him, and she didn't take long to approach him and ask questions.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be? We've gotten rid of that Echo! Isn't that right?"

"Because it's the first time you're acting like the leader of the clan." His mother hugged him. "I know it's hard, going against your ideals to follow the clan's ideals. No one asks if you're okay when you come back, they just receive you as the leader."

"I'm fine, mom."

She was the only one who could discover everything if she noticed his strange behavior. So he had to act normally... how was he supposed to act normally after supposedly killing an Echo that hadn't done anything to them?

_________________________________

**Sixth Act**

_________________________________

That same morning, Noa had gone back to where the Echo was. He expected to find her where he had left her, but he was surprised to see her standing, trembling, by the riverbank.

"Hey, you shouldn't be there."

She jumped back, trying to get away from him.

"It's okay, I'm here to help you."

"You're the one who hurt me."

Well, he couldn't deny that.

"I'm sorry. Please, let me help you."

"H-how can you apologize for something like that?"

She had started to breathe with difficulty, holding her wound.

"Sh, it's okay. We'll talk when you're cured."

Noa held her wound again, seeing how it was still humid, and proceeded to clean it, forcing her to lie down on the nest.

The ape had brought new bandages in case he needed to change them, so he proceeded to change them.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to hurt you."

"It's hard to believe. Did you think I was livestock or something?"

"No, my village is scared of you, and they wanted me to kill you."

"And, why didn't you?"

Noa continued to change the bandages, unable to look her in the eye.

"I don't know. I didn't want to kill you personally, without knowing you. But it's my duty as the leader."

That information silenced the human. She grabbed his hand with the one he was using to clean her.

"Well, as the leader, stop. You've done your duty, you've tried to kill me, give them that information, and I'll run away from here. That way, you can say I escaped."

Noa shook his head, turning his hand to hold hers.

"No, you're already dead to them."

_________________________________

**Seventh Act**

_________________________________

Noa had been going back and forth from the village to where Mae, the Echo, was for a week.

During the day, he took care of his leader duties, and at dawn, he would return to the human's nest, where he would cure her, feed her, and take care of her. In those moments, they would talk, forgetting about the ape's attempt to assassinate her. Mae had opened up completely to him.

A human who had lost her family recently and was trying to survive away from the rest of humans who had hurt her. He didn't understand how they had hurt her if she didn't have that physical aspect, only the wound he had inflicted on her. But she explained that the wounds those humans had inflicted on her were not visible on her body, but in her heart.

Noa felt like seeking out those humans and defending the human to make her feel better. But she told him she was already learning to forget them.

"The wound is much better."

He didn't like how she was healing so quickly. Mae would have to leave when she was fully cured, that had been their agreement, but he wasn't ready to say goodbye so soon.

"Yes, I can do things on my own now. You should rest more at night and not come to see me."

"I don't need to rest. I want to come see you."

"Noa..."

"What?"

The ape continued making the meal, actually watching how the fire was made.

"You know I've forgiven you. You don't have to keep feeling guilty. Forgive yourself too."

"I-I can't. I failed my village. But I also failed you. If only I had shot higher, you would be dead and I wouldn't have met you."

"But you're a good ape and didn't do it. If it had happened this way or that, it wouldn't exist anymore. The reality is that we've met."

________________________________

**Eighth Act**

_________________________________

That day, his mother wouldn't leave his side. She observed him closely without speaking, but that made him even more nervous.

"What? What's going on?"

He stopped in front of her.

"Son, you can lie to the whole world, but not to your mother."

"What do you mean?"

"Your nighttime escapes, the lack of sales, your fatigue during the day. Tell me, son. Where do you escape to?"

"Nowhere, mom. Just... I go climbing alone to relax and sleep."

"Yesterday, you slept very late, the sun had already risen. And you started talking in your sleep."

Noa averted his gaze so she couldn't keep reading him like that.

"Your dreams mentioned Mae's name."

"Oh, nonsense. I don't know anyone by that name."

He turned around, trying to ignore his mother's comments so as not to get more nervous.

"Son, do you sneak out at night to see Mae? Is she the Echo you didn't kill?"

"Mother! I don't know what you're talking about!"

"I've known you since you came out of me. Small, hairy, and noisy. Since you were very young, you showed that you weren't like the rest of the apes. You were very analytical and more intelligent than most. Your father knew that you took twice as long to think things through, just like your grandfather."

"Mom..."

"That's why I knew when they asked you to fulfill this responsibility that you would take your time to think it through and not do it, because you're a fair son of mine."

"Mom, I couldn't kill her. She hadn't done anything to us and lived peacefully alone by the river. She didn't pose any danger like the elders make us believe."

"I know, son. I know you very well."

His mother hugged him, and he took refuge in her arms. Taking a weight off his shoulders since he wasn't the only one who knew about Mae's existence.

And not just the two of them anymore. One of the aoes in charge of the birds had overheard their conversation, hiding from mother and son.

_________________________________

**Ninth Act**

_________________________________

That morning, Noa found Mae packed and ready to leave, with her things in a backpack and the fire extinguished.

"Where are you going?"

"I have to leave now, Noa."

"What? No, why? You're still hurt. You can't leave yet."

"I'm not hurt anymore, Noa. You saved me."

"No, no, no, no."

Noa grabbed the girl's hands, trying to stop her.

"We knew this moment would come. I'm very grateful that you gave me the opportunity to meet you."

"No! It's the other way around. I tried to kill you and you forgave me, letting me into your life."

"That doesn't matter anymore, Noa."

"Yes, it does. I came here to kill you because I thought you were an animal, a monster, a beast. And I ended up realizing that the only beast here is me."

"Don't be so hard on yourself."

"I have to be. I can't forgive myself because if I do, I'll think I have a chance with you and it's not like that. I can't, n-no..."

Mae grabbed his cheeks, making him lean his forehead against hers, looking into his eyes.

"You're not a beast. You're my savior, but I have to leave so I don't cause you more problems."

Noa shook his head and leaned in to kiss the human, savoring the sweet taste of Mae's mouth.

They separated as they heard horses and apes cries.

________________________________

**Tenth Act**

_________________________________

Noa was startled. The only apes near the river were from his village. And it couldn't be, they didn't have any nighttime exploration planned.

"What's going on?"

"I don't know."

He turned to the human, grabbing her cheeks to make her look at him.

"Don't worry, you hide. I'll go see what's happening."

Mae looked towards something behind the ape's back, and he turned to see what had caught her attention, finding his friends.

"Noa."

The two apes ran to hug him.

"You don't know what's going on in the village. Maximo told them about the Echo and they're all coming to kill her."

Anaya explained quickly, without taking a breath.

"How did you know?"

"Why didn't you tell us?"

Soona responded with another question.

"I couldn't. She was in danger."

"We're your friends! We would have helped." -Soona raised her voice.-

"It's okay, guys. We'll discuss this later. Now we have to help the Echo." -Anaya turned to Mae.

"You have to distract them while I help her escape." -Noa grabbed Mae's hand.

"No!" -Soona refused.- "You're the clan leader, you have to give them explanations after what they found out. You have to be consistent."

The ape couldn't refuse. His friend was right.

"Mae." -he turned to her, grabbing her shoulders.- "You're going with Soona and Anaya, they'll help you."

"I'm staying with you." -Soona gave him her back as he said goodbye.-

He couldn't make her change her mind, as the apes were approaching.

"Echo. It's better if you get on my back and I'll run." -Anaya offered her back to Mae, and she got on without taking her eyes off Noa.-

________________________________

**Eleventh Act**

_________________________________

The group of apes arrived, finding Noa and Soona together. Both apes were standing side by side, bearing the gaze of the rest.

"Where is she?"

"We know, Noa. The Echo is still alive."

"We have to kill her before she attacks us."

"She's a demon."

Several apes spoke at once.

"Silence!" -Noa shouted, making them all quiet.- "She's not a demon! We're the ones who pursued her and tried to kill her without harming us."

"She'll do it, it's written."

"The elders say so."

"The elders are wrong!" -Noa shouted again.- "And the laws are wrong!"

"Noa, step aside!"

Several apes approached violently. He couldn't let his clan lose respect for their leader.

As the leader of the eagle clan and respectful of his clan's ancient tradition, he began to sing. He still hadn't joined with any bird. Due to his father's death, he had decided to wait out of respect for the previous leader. But now... it was the only solution he could think of to regain his clan's respect.

He continued singing, and no eagle came.

"It doesn't work like that!"

"What eagle would want to join you after you betrayed us?"

The apes' voices enraged him. His voice rose above theirs, and a large eagle with a strong presence landed on his arm.

When Noa looked up, he was surprised to see the eagle Sun, his father's eagle. Known as the strongestin its nest and stubborn like his father. Everyone feared and respected it.

_________________________________

**Twelfth Act**

_________________________________

Most of the apes kneeled before Noa, who stood proudly, looking at the eagle on his arm.

"It can't be, the eagle Sun has finally chosen its new master."

"It can't be, Noa, he's a traitor."

"Maximo, stop talking like that about the clan leader. He's already proven with actions that we should trust him."

One ape began to defend him, and most of them joined in. Noa knew he had regained his title as leader.

"We can't forgive his lie!"

That ape, Maximo, ran forward. Noa saw his intention to go after Noa and Anaya, so he stood in front of him, growling.

"You're not going to pass!" -he shouted, making Maximo take a few steps back.- "The Echo is my responsibility." -Noa began to address everyone.- "If anyone has a problem with her, they should come to me and I'll resolve it."

Maximo walked away with his head down.

The rest of the a apes roached to congratulate him on his union with Sol, and Soona stepped aside, observing him. In the end, it hadn't been necessary to help him; he was the clan leader, and she regretted having doubted it.

_________________________________

**Thirteenth Act**

_________________________________

The next morning, Noa met with Mae again. Anaya had told him the location where she had hidden her, in the cave where the three of them used to hide as children when they wanted to escape from their parents or play pranks.

Anaya had confided in Mae about the location, knowing how important it was to her friend Noa.

The ape and the human looked at each other intensely when they met. Mae was sitting on a rock, holding a piece of fruit, and had heard him enter. She was anxious to see him.

"Noa!" -she stood up, looking him up and down.- "Didn't they hurt you?"

"No, no, Mae." -Noa put his forehead against the human's, closing his eyes and breathing in her scent more closely.- "Y-you, are you okay?"

Mae let out a laugh.

"I'm fine. You faced your clan for... for me."

"Yes, for you. But I know that's not as scary as riding on Anaya's back and climbing up here with his rough scaling."

"Anaya took good care of me, you don't have to worry."

"I know."

Neither of them wanted to break the silence that followed. They hugged, feeling each other's skin so close. Mae's breath hit Noa's lips, and he couldn't resist anymore, leaning in to kiss her again, this time knowing every centimeter of her lips and mouth as he introduced his tongue.

"Noa."

Mae whispered the ape's name, and she pulled away, placing his lips on her cheek.

"You shouldn't kiss me like that. And I won't be able to leave if we keep doing this."

"Then don't leave. There's no need, no one wants you to leave. Come with me and live in my village, with my clan."

"No! Noa, I don't want to bring you more problems."

"You're not going to bring more problems." -Noa hugged her.- "Since I met you, you've brought nothing but joy and laughter and good thoughts to my life. You've made me happy, and I don't want to lose you."

"Okay."

Noa shouted happily, hugging the girl and lifting her up.

"You make me so happy, I love you!"

Mae looked into his eyes, unable to respond since she had lost her breath.

The human leaned in, kissing him again, this time with tenderness, and pulled away after a few seconds. As if her lips had given him strength and air to speak, she responded.

"I love you too."

_________________________________

**Final Act**

_________________________________

Mae moved in with them. The village had welcomed her with open arms when they saw her arrive with their leader.

Noa's mother received her literally in her arms, in a strong hug.

"Welcome."

The Echo, the beast everyone had feared, had found a place in everyone's heart. She had sought her place in the village and now fulfilled her responsibilities so that no one would ever have to take care of her again.

A certain leader wasn't very happy about it, since it meant they spent less time together, but he was happy seeing how everyone had learned to love her.

There was even a moment when he felt jealous of the attention she gave to the other apes.

Mae dedicated herself to healing and feeding the smaller or injured apes, or those who were lonely. This made her spend more time with others than with him. But he couldn't say anything, he had to fulfill his clan duties too.

At least he had the hope of ending the day and finding her in his nest again.

"Noa."

Mae sighed in his ear. Noa couldn't help but lie down next to the human and kiss her from her cheek to her neck. He had seen her sleeping already, but he missed her and needed to feel her in his arms.

He placed himself on top of her, lifting her clothes and pushing them aside. It wasn't the first time they had done it, but he had understood that those garments were important to cover the human's attributes. For the apes, it was rare to see those clothes, but Noa's ego grew when only he could see her like that.

Naked, trembling from his kisses and caresses, and so sensitive that she responded to every touch he gave her.

He introduced his virility, making her moan, making them both moan. His thrusts were quick and concise. That night, he needed to feel her with urgency. The desperation in his chest to make her reach climax and hear her scream his name.

"Noa!"

That scream and the contractions of the human's vagina around his penis made him come with a grunt.

"Mae, Mae."

He leaned on her, placing his elbows on both sides of Mae to avoid hurting her, and waited for his heart to calm down after coming.

"I love you."

He heard Mae.

"I love you too."

The ape responded before falling asleep next to her.

His life had taken a huge turn since the Echo, his Echo, had entered it. From believing he was going to kill a beast, to believing he had become one, to falling in love with an Echo. She had saved him from drowning in a life full of desperation and lies. She had entered his life to make the monsters that haunted him disappear. Mae was, is, and will be the love of his life forever.

________________________________

END.

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allwaswell16 · 3 days

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A fic rec of One Direction fics where one of the characters presents as their secondary gender in the fic as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis/Harry -

❤️ Black Raspberries and Butterscotch by MushroomMushroom28*

(E, 114k, friends to lovers) What happens when two best friends, late to present as their secondary genders, finally spend a summer together after four years apart?

❤️ harry, you little shit (series) by @juliusschmidt *

(E, 89k, canon) Harry’s an omega and he’s learning to like it. A lot.

❤️ lost in the sirens by akatomlinson

(E, 53k, uni) alphas and omegas can’t cohabitate as friends and harry ‘supposed-to-be-a-beta’ styles presents a few weeks before he and louis ‘hot/spicy-omega-bestie’ tomlinson are set to move into their new uni flat.

❤️ Who Would've Thought by whoknows

(E, 44k, canon) The idea doesn’t come to Louis until they’ve been at the bungalow for a couple of days. Harry has no idea that he’s going to pop a knot. He’s been living his life with the expectation that he’s going to be a beta, and Louis isn’t going to tell him otherwise.

❤️ Follow Your Arrow by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(T, 36k, canon) They said Louis playing alpha wouldn’t affect anything. It was the best thing for the band, so he doesn’t really regret it except deep in the dead of night, when he bites down on his knuckles to swap the echoing ache of depri for a sting of pain.

❤️ Too Young To Know by @2tiedships2

(M, 35k, exes) the one where Harry doesn’t present as an alpha… until he does.

❤️ you burn with the brightest flame by sarcasticfluentry

(E, 34k, canon) the X-Factor Era A/B/O fic.

❤️ you're an alpha, harry! by fondjumpedtheshark / @agape-28

(E, 32k, uni) Right before Harry goes to university, he presents as an alpha. Struggling with his newfound identity in a completely different environment, he seeks advice from the notorious Louis Tomlinson, an omega whose claim to fame is being the local campus sex expert. Sex Education AU.

❤️ Introduction to Dynamics by @juliusschmidt

(E, 29k, uni) Louis Tomlinson is the outspoken omega in the 'Introduction to Dynamics' course Harry wishes he didn't have to take. He's nearly certain to present as a beta, after all. Things will be simple for him.

❤️ Like a Timebomb Ticking in Your Head by decorationxx

(T, 26k, canon) the one where Louis makes a deal with management. He can tell the world he's actually an omega under two conditions. (1) Harry presents as an alpha (done!), and (2) Harry wants him as a mate (oops).

❤️ I'm Weaker Without You by The_Halcyonic_Lachesist / @chai-hat-tea *

(T, 20k, historical) Alpha Lord Louis Tomlinson is a rake who refuses to settle down. Will he settle down for the Society's most talked about Omega? What about the enticing scent that belongs to the Beta? How will he react to said Beta pursuing the Omega too?

❤️ wanna taste your heart, don't interfere by orphan_account *

(E, 16k, friends to lovers) harry presents as an omega, louis is his alpha best friend, and there are hidden feelings that just get harder to control

❤️ There Is No Fear Now, Let Go And Just Be Free by hilourry

(E, 11k, established relationship) Louis is an omega and dates Harry, who they think is a beta, but he turns out to be an alpha. They accidentally soul bond and Louis ends up pregnant.

❤️ Waiting by @allwaswell16

(E, 10k, friends to lovers) Louis Tomlinson was Harry’s omega, of this Harry had always been sure. Unfortunately for Harry, Louis seemed to think they were just best friends. The six weeks that Harry has to live with Louis were going to be rough.

❤️ And I Will Steady Your Hand by kiwikero / @icanhazzalou *

(E, 9k, uni) All first year university students who had not yet presented were strongly advised to join the Fire Away meetings, a support group for so-called 'late bloomers.'

❤️ Yours. Always. by savannah_blue

(T, 1k, canon) Harry and Louis have been inseparable since meeting on the X-Factor, waiting for Harry to present as an omega to take the next step in their relationship. Except Harry doesn’t present as an omega.

- Rare Pairs -

❤️ Rewrite the Stars (series) by bromanceorromance *

(E, 34k, ot5) "We can't just decide to be a pack when none of you have presented," Louis insists. "Why the hell not?" Niall demands. "What is presenting going to change?"

❤️ You Were Never On Your Own by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(T, 12k, ot5) The band is basically a pack anyway, Louis reasons, they just need Liam to buck up and make it official. Because Harry won't present alpha, and Louis is definitely going to be a beta. Well, he's right about one thing.

#weekly fic recs #ficrec #1dficvillage #1dsquad #hlcreators #hljournal

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soaps-mohawk · 1 day

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RORY I NEED OPINIONS (please)

Something popped up on my page and it was about Ghost.

The person who posted proceeded to say how they've had enough of the mischaracterization of him. And other people in the comments have said the same. How whenever they see Ghost written as a cold mean guy, they think, "oh you've never read the comics or played the games."

Now, I'm not here to bash anyone. I just wanna know what you think of people who write OOC {insert character}? Or what do you think about it in general?

Okay, this is one of the things that bothers me the most about the mainstreaming of fandom and fanfiction.

The whole point of fanfiction, is to write the characters however you want to write them. Fanfiction does not have to stick to how characters are presented in fandom. Some might choose to, others might not. Some might choose to in certain fics, and then not to in others. OOC exists as a term for a reason. It's okay. You can write/draw/headcanon/whatever any character however you want because that's your interpretation, or because it's how you want the character to be in whatever situation you're putting them in.

I know I said I was done talking about this, but this circles back around to the whole dark fic issue. "X character wouldn't do this" according to who? The fandom police? That's the whole point. The whole point of fandom and fanfiction is to present the characters however you want. That's always been its purpose. Fix it fics, OOC, crack ficks, dark fics, AUs exist for a reason. Not every character has to act exactly as they do in canon. If you want that, then just watch/read/play the canon media and stay out of the fanfiction side of fandom.

People that get all up in arms about FANFICTION not sticking to canon events and portrayals are ruining fandom. They are. People wonder why creators and fans are leaving fandom, it's because it's not fun anymore. You write a character how you want to write them and there's 50 people complaining in the comments about how "that's not how they are in canon." Yeah? And? That's the point. It's like whole ship thing with people being mad about fans shipping characters that aren't together in canon. News flash, people have been doing that for ages. Since the dawn of fanfiction. People ship characters that aren't even in the same movie or show or game. You gonna get mad about a crossover fic because it's "not canon?"

If you can't accept that FANDOM and FANFICTION aren't always canon compliant then you need to not be in these spaces. Leave us alone and stick to just watching the show/movie or reading the book or playing the game, whatever. You're ruining fandom spaces for everyone. Most of us creators have been in these spaces for a lot longer than the people ruining them. I've been involved in fandoms for 18 years now. Far longer than I should have been, and honestly, if I didn't love writing fanfiction and use it as an outlet for myself so I don't go crazy, I probably would have left too.

These pearl clutchers and mainstream people flooding into fandom that refuse to learn the "rules" and accept how things have been for literal decades are ruining fandom for the rest of us and killing people's passions for writing and creating. Us creators don't have to share. We do it because we want to and because we enjoy seeing others reactions and the interaction that comes from it. We are all very capable of just writing or drawing and keeping them to ourselves. Soon there won't be such a thing as fandom because all the joy will have been sucked out of it. Creators are already leaving in droves because interaction is down to nothing. Add on people getting mad about things that are normal in fandom and soon there won't be anything left. People will be complaining about there being no fandoms and no fanfiction and fanart and video edits and gifs, even though we've been screaming why from the high heavens for years.

#we need to make fandom cringe again #make the normies feel embarrassed for being into fandom and on tumblr #i'm begging you #also again this is not directed at you anon i'm using you in the general sense #even i feel it #sometimes i want to give up fandom #it's just not fun anymore #answered

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h50europe · 16 hours

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9-1-1 Buck/Tommy - Love me as I'm a morning with no alarm...

While Tommy is still fast asleep, Buck begins stowing away the remaining moving boxes in the attic, which Tommy had kindly offered him for storage space. As Buck rummages through the attic, he comes across a collage featuring Tommy's photos and is immediately smitten. He carefully brings it downstairs and settles on the sectional, gazing at it dreamily for several minutes.

Until his attention is drawn to the coffee table, where Jee's neatly arranged pens and some of her drawings are laid out. Among her drawings is one that depicts the three of them, with Buck on her right and Tommy on her left. Tommy's handwriting adorns the drawing, with the words "Me and my uncles" encircled by a pink heart.

Feeling inspired, Buck takes one of Jee's pink pens and, with his tongue sticking out from the corner of his mouth, adds his drawings and writings to the pictures. After he finishes, he looks at the result with a proud grin. Just as he's about to bask in his accomplishment, he's startled by Tommy's voice from behind, "That needs to be framed and put on the wall in my office at the station."

Buck blushes and responds, "So you consider this a masterpiece? But don't you think it might be a bit too much? I mean, what would your colleagues say?"

Tommy leans in from behind, planting gentle kisses on Buck's birthmark, temple, and cheek before taking a closer look at Jee's drawing. "Little Jee has such talent and is truly the best niece one could have," Tommy remarks proudly.

Buck's gaze shifts to the sheet in his hand and his smile wavers. "I suppose so," he says, his voice tinged with disappointment. He had hoped for a different reaction.

Just as he's about to resign to his thoughts, Tommy surprises him by plopping down on the sectional next to him, showing a genuine interest in the pictures and Buck's 'additions.'

"I find it adorable that you put a crown on my head, think I'm cool, and appear to have a total crush on me," Tommy says with a grin as he shows Buck what he's done.

"But I have something for you as well," Tommy says, smirking as he hands Buck a sheet with a photograph, doodles, and printed text. Buck reads the lines. Then, looks at Tommy and says, "You planned that all along? But how did you know…?"

"Evan Buckley you are an open book to me and I knew it was only a matter of time…"

"Tommy Kinard?"

"What?"

"Shut up and let me love you as you're a morning with no alarm."

Tommy doesn't even have the time to reply as Buck takes the lead and presses him down with his weight. They started making out like crazy until they lose their balance and drop to the floor, laughing, now with Tommy on top.

But not for long, as Buck flips him back on his back. They stare into each other's eyes, let their souls talk and start a dance to a song only they can hear…

#buck tommy #bucktommy #tommy kinard #evan buck buckley #bobby nash #athena grant #oliver stark #lou ferrigno jr.#tevan #kinkley #buck tommy ficlet

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paintbrushnebula · 2 days

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Random Spider-Verse Headcanons for funnsicles?? OKAY

✨ 🪩 🏄

(emojis are funnee)

When Gwen found out she was assigned to visit E-1610 to catch the Spot, in the days leading up to the mission, she would go up to Miguel with a list of prepared phrases and sentences to ask him how to say them in Spanish. Her excuse was that they were quips for her to say in an upcoming fight with a Rhino variant that spoke Spanish. Miguel had no idea who Gwen was actually planning on saying them to, but he was pretty sure it wasn't to a villain, since they were all for seemingly friendly conversation. But he complied and taught her the phrases in Spanish. When she went to 1610 as seen in ATSV, Gwen never ended up saying any to Miles because was too embarrassed or scared that she'd get the pronunciation wrong. She left 1610 regretting not using them.

Both Miles 1610 and Miles 42 are very good cooks. They learned from their moms because it was a fun bonding activity to talk about their day and open up about their feelings. They haven't done much cooking with mom since they were 13; that was when 1610 was bitten and 42 began training to be the Prowler. Both Mileses are good, but 42 is the better cook because he usually tries to help his mom by making dinner when Rio has a long night shift.

Sometimes Peni will just walk up to Gwen and stretch her arms out, to signal that she wants Gwen to deadlift carry her by her pits like she's a cat. When Gwen does it, Peni just lets her head hang back and her body go limp like she's dead or smth. Gwen just holds her out like that and goes about her day like normal for half an hour.

Gwen ends up moving out at 18. She rents an apartment in SoHo, Manhattan along with Glory and Betty as her roommates. Gwen and Betty are absolute WILD CRATS when they have the house to themselves. Betty is the instigator and Gwen just shrugs and decides to be complicit in her shenanigans. I'm talking All-Star playing at full blast on the speakers, Betty pulling out the Guitar Hero 10 minutes in, and then they switch ALL the furniture and wallpapers and belongings of each other's rooms around just to mess with Glory. So it's like, the interior design of the room is identical to what it was before, but it's now in an entirely different room of the apartment. What's worse is they'll try to gaslight Glory into thinking that their rooms were always like that. It never works obviously, but Glory is that mature mom friend who just puts up with her friends' antics. So Glory just settles for that being her room now. But then Gwen and Betty do the switch-around AGAIN only once Glory is finally used to her new room. The whole experience is loads of fun but like...dude. Glory can't leave them alone for 2 hours. They all love when E Jay comes over, sure, but Em Jay has a habit of visiting unannounced to present day plans or activities without taking their schedules into account. (I haven't read the Spider-Gwen comics in full so this headcanon is just what I interpret from Spiderverse).

Miles somehow thinks he's 6 feet tall. He doesn't have a specific number, just that he's at least over 6 ft. This is coming from how he drew himself after his growth spurt in ATSV's opening to be almost as tall as Peter B and a head taller than Gwen which is clearly not the case XD. So he basically assumes that everyone else he knows is just really really tall, because all the adults as well as Hobie are like a head taller than him at LEAST.

Gwen pirates/uses emulators for all her video games

there's this thing that keeps happening where whenever someone unfamiliar with the Spider-Band learns that Gwen is dating someone within the group, they never guess that it's Miles. They assume it's Hobie first, then Pav, then they'll just keep guessing everyone. They will think it's Spider-Ham before they think it's Miles. It's not that they think lowly of Miles or anything. It's just that no one ever thinks that he'd be Gwen's type because well, he's just so...*gestures to all of Miles* normal. Like people just assume that Gwen would date someone equally as wild and out-of-this-world as her, like...well, everyone else in the Spider-band. Of course, no one realizes that Miles' normalcy relative to everyone else in Gwen's life is partly why he's Gwen's type.

Back in her dimension, Gwen did this thing where she'd go on long drawling walks through suburban neighborhoods at dusk, staring at the populated houses and the golden windows lit warmly by the life happening inside. Sometimes she'd say aloud to herself, "that'd be nice."

Jess gifts Gwen her motorcycle for her 18th birthday.

Gwen has a green thumb. Miles gifts Gwen plants and they'll come up with names for them together. They take naming their plants very seriously.

One of Hobie's favorite couple nicknames for Miles and Gwen is Bonnie and Clyde, respectively.

Gwen had a BIG Y/N phase when she was a preteen. She had long since left it behind, but In between the events of ITSV and ATSV, while George was out on a late night shift, Gwen for whatever reason followed a strong sudden urge and wrote a new Y/N in one sitting. She immediately deleted it when she was done before George came home, but what she hadn't realized was that she wrote it in his account instead of hers. One day George was clearing out his Recently Deleted, he noticed that draft that he knew wasn't his. He opened it, and what he read was literally just the plot of Baby Driver with Gwen inserted as the main character. He was completely lost on that street artist character Gwen had replaced the waitress with until he met Miles.

Betty is obsessed with legos. That's it.

There's also this running gag where someone will show up with a very specific problem or be in need of something that they highly doubt anyone there can help with. Betty will be in the corner and just chirp that she possesses the exact skill to solve the problem, but she'll go completely unnoticed every time. And like it's not that people are being condescending to her or mean, everyone's just. completely oblivious to the fact that Betty's a polymath

Betty keeps a collection of fortune cookie papers. Every morning when she wakes up, she chooses a different one from the collection and keeps it in her left shoe.

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aye-jaye-2005 · 1 day

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alright, as promised, for the 50 notes on my post about being starved for mlm cod smut - here is my work. it's not very good most likely, so i apologize in advance

NAMES - König x M!Reader

Summary: König being a jealous bitch cause someone flirted with you. (the guy who flirted with you was being an ass anyway)

A/N: My boyfriend has read this once, this is unedited. I was always ahead in english classes so hopefully this won't be a load of hot garbage.

Content Warnings: Aggressive Flirting (character won't take no for an answer), Injury, Strong Language, Badly Written Medical Care (i don't know how to write injuries and medical stuff, i'm sorry 😭), Badly Translated German, Praise Kink, Size Difference(?), P-in-P Sex, Jealously-Sex. (i think that's everything, please tell me if i missed anything)

********************************************************

You were doing combat training with König and a crop of new recruits.

"Alright, split off into pairs and practice. Small injuries are mostly excusable but please don't break anything."

There was a low grumble of "Yessir"'s and the group began to split off into pairs.

A smaller man saunters over to you. "M'name is Theo. Who're you, handsome?" Theo held out his hand for you to shake.

"Y/N." You shake hands with him briskly and pull your hand away.

"Ah, strong and silent type, are we now? I can work with that too." Theo got closer to you, chests nearly touching.

"Excuse me." You back away a step. "I just know when to hold my tongue."

Theo raised an eyebrow at you. "Are you trying to imply something, handsome?"

You shrugged. "Now, spar me. Isn't that why you came over here?"

"Not the only reason..." Theo mumbled under his breath.

"Hm?"

"Nothing."

Before you'd joined the army, you'd done various martial arts. You were quite good and were able to pin Theo to the ground a few times. Theo, however, was small and surprisingly quick. He wasn't all that good at fighting and hand-to-hand combat, but he could avoid you quickly. He tired out quickly and you were able to finally pin him to the ground. You let him up and let your guard down to go get a sip of water, and Theo jumped you from behind and held you down. His foot was on your shoulder and he was holding your arm down at the wrist with his hands.

"Now I've got you right where I want you." Theo hissed in your ear.

You rolled your eyes at him. "Can I go get my water now?"

"No." he growled. "Now, I have something I want to ask you, handsome." His voice became sickly sweet as he increased the pressure on your shoulder.

"Could it have waited until-"

"No. Stop giving me that fucking attitude." He pulled back on your arm, making your shoulder crack.

"Ouch- You're gonna pull my arm out-" You started tapping out to try to signal that Theo needed to let you go. "Theo, I'm tapping out, this hurts."

"No, you are gonna listen to me." Theo pulled back harder on your arm, making it crack a few more times. You stifled a cry of pain. "You, Y/N, are gonna meet me, Theo, out back by the barns after training is over. We're gonna talk, and late tonight we're gonna meet up and have some fun."

"And what if I don't want to?"

"Then I'm gonna do this." Theo gave one last pull on your arm and pulled your arm out of socket with a loud *CRACK*. You cried out in alarm and pain.

"I was- I was tapping out- You bitch-" You could hardly talk. You had never dislocated a joint, not even a pinky finger, and this was hurting like hell.

König came running over, having heard you yell. He saw you on the ground and Theo standing over you. "Anyone care to explain to me what the hell is going on here?"

Theo was quick to whip up a story. "We were just sparring and I was holding him down and practicing a technique I'd heard about. He wouldn't tell me it was hurting, sir-"

"That's Colonel to you, Theo." König growled at him.

Theo seemed to shrink under König's threatening stance. "R-right, Colonel- Anyway, Y/N wouldn't tell me I was hurting him, he wasn't tapping out or anything."

König sighed and muttered in German under his breath. "Y/N, come with me to the medbay. Theo, find someone else to spar with." He then shouted across the field. "HORANGI!"

A smaller man perked his head up and came rushing over. "Yes, Colonel?"

"I have to take Y/N to medbay, keep an eye on these utter buffoons."

"Yes, Colonel."

Underneath all the conversations, you were lying on the ground, sweating from the pain. König gingerly hoisted you up off the ground and helped you half-walk, half-stumble to the medbay. The nurse was able to quickly pop your shoulder back in place.

"It might be sore for a day or two, so don't overwork it too much."

"Yes, ma'am." You were panting from the effort it took to not scream when she put your shoulder back in place.

"You should stay here until lights out, 2300, so I can make sure nothing else is happening underneath. Gotcha?"

"Yes ma'am."

König put a hand on your uninjured shoulder. "It's about 1900 right now, so you won't be stuck here for too long."

"Yessir."

***

Just an hour later, Theo walked into the medbay. His eye was swollen and his nose was bleeding.

"Colonel punched me. Did'n have my guard up." he grumbled bitterly. Upon seeing you also in the medbay, his face lit up. "Well, hey there sweetheart. Any reconsideration on my offer yet?"

"No."

"Aww, handsome can't handle a little fun? Might muss up your spotless record or something?"

"Man, just fuck off. I don't have a spotless record, but I don't want to fuck you."

"I'm just messing around, babycakes. Learn to take a joke, lighten up a little!" Theo winked at you and turned to the stone-faced nurse.

You turned your face away so you wouldn't have to look at him. Unfortunately, you could still hear his frankly pathetic attempts at asking the nurses to sleep with him. You finally drifted off into a nap, glad to get some rest after this whole ordeal.

***

A nurse gently shook you awake. "Y/N, it's 2230, you may head back to your quarters."

"Oh- Thank you."

"Of course. Come back if it's giving you any trouble."

"I will."

It was a short walk to your quarters that you shared with König. There was a gentle evening breeze and you stopped a moment outside the door to drink in the delicious wind. You sighed satisfactorily and went inside.

"There you are, Schatz." He pulled you in for a hug. "I was worried about you."

"I'm fine, Kö, don't worry. It was that bitchass Theo who caused this whole mess. He dislocated my shoulder after I refused to meet with him."

König bristled. "He did what?" he backed away from you and bent down to look you in the eyes. "Did he try to ask you out, Meine Liebe?"

"He just wanted a one-night, I think. He tried again when he saw me in medbay and had the audacity to wink at me and flirt with me. I mean, honestly Theo, you think I'm gonna be willing to fuck after you dislocated my damn shoulder?" You started to wander slowly into the kitchen.

"Theo? His name is Theo?"

"Yes... where are you going with-"

König pushed you up against the counter and started kissing you hard. It took a few moments before you pushed him back slightly.

"Well, what was all that about, Kö?"

Now there was a passion burning behind König's eyes. "Well, Mein Schatz-" he took his gloves off and placed them on the counter behind you. "The easy solution to this is that i fuck you until you can't remember his name. I'll show you just how much better than him I am." Now he was taking off his boots and he was already undoing his belt. "Sound fair, Schatz?"

You blushed "I-" You cleared your throat as you were already getting hard. "God-"

König smirked at you. "Does it sound fair or not, Liebling?" König walked over to you and pressed his body against your stiffening cock.

Your eyes rolled back a little before you met König's bright blue eyes. "Yep, sounds- Oh, god- sounds good to me-"

***

König had you cumming quickly. He was quick and aggressive, and knew just how to hit those spots that made you make all those pretty little noises for him.

"Your first reason that I'm better than him: I can make you cum much quicker."

"Oh, please do-"

"Reason number two:-" König continued talking as you shuddered and bit back a loud moan. "If you, Liebling, are a good boy for me, I'll praise you much better than he ever can."

"God, yes you do-"

"Reason number three:-" König pulled down the waistband of his boxers to reveal his large, meaty cock. "I am definitely bigger than him, and you know it. Don't you, Liebling?" He pulled down the elastic of your boxers to reveal your own hard dick.

"Yes- Yes I know-"

"Come on, Liebling, say it with your full chest for me." König cooed in your ear. He started teasing the tip of your erect cock with his thumb. "Say it, Schatz."

"I know- fuck- I know you have a bigger dick than him-" You inhaled sharply and let loose a breathy, high-pitched moan.

"Hmm? Who's 'him", Liebe?" König eyes were dark with desire.

"Theo- I know you have a bigger- ahh- a bigger dick than Theo-"

You were already weak at the knees from König's relentless teasing. You leaned back and braced your hands on the counter behind you and you shuddered as precum started leaking slowly out your hard dick. "Oh god-"

"Reason number four: I can and will kiss you so much better than he ever will." To prove his point, König pressed his lips hungrily on yours, all while teasing you with his thick, calloused fingers.

You threw your head back and whined. "Yes- oh god, yes- You're a much better kisser than Theo-"

"Good, good, you're learning." To reward your learning, he started slowly, slowly pushing his dick into yours.

"Please- Please go faster- fucking hell-"

"I will, Liebling, just you wait."

The anticipation made your dick throb. "Please-" you whined. To retaliate, König covered your mouth, which just turned you on more. You moaned loud and long into his large hand.

Finally, finally König was starting to go faster. His dick was so large and long that he was able to slam that sweet spot each time, which affectively turned you into a whining, moaning mess.

"Reason number five:-" he paused momentarily for another deep thrust. "I know all your dirty little secrets."

"You know- you know all my dirty little secrets-" Each of your quick breaths was ended with a short, sharp whine as König kept slamming that wonderful little spot deep in you.

"And who doesn't?"

You couldn't even get the words out. König smirked at you. "Go on, who doesn't, Meine Schatz?" He paused his thrusts for a moment to let you get a word or two out. You were panting hard and your cheeks were flushed bright red.

"Th-Theo-"

"Good, good boy." He continued his relentless beat of thrusting, and even when it seemed he couldn't he went faster and harder. The sounds of your squelching arousal were filling the small kitchen.

You could feel that knot deep inside you starting to move outward, closer to the tip as König kept thrusting in you.

"Oh god- Ohh god-! I'm gonna- Aah-" Your whole body shuddered. "I'm-" You couldn't even get all the words out.

"Go on, finish your sentence." König teased.

"I'm so close-!"

"Tell me how close, Liebling." König smiled mischievously."

"So close- Mmm-" Your back arched and you groaned. "Almost there-"

Your whole body shivered and your hips bucked forwards as the knot in you became dangerously close to your tip. Your dick pulsed and throbbed, and one final rough thrust from König forced the knot out of you.

Thick, creamy liquid leaked out of your tip and ran down your dick, some threatening to go down your pants or on the floor. König milked your dick dry before pulling out, dripping his own milky semen.

König bent down on his knees to clean up the mess he'd made of you while you caught your breath.

********************************************************

(i don't know how to properly write aftercare and also i have a migraine slowly building so i think i'm gonna call it here)

anyways, here my fellow gay men, be fed. idk 😭

#konig #konig cod #könig call of duty #cod #call of duty #könig smut #könig x reader #könig x male reader #könig fanfiction #aj writing

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