#I snorted so hard it hurt
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i really don’t like you all that much sorry >_<
I’m not really sure what to say to this so…you’re welcome
#I’m somehow charmed by you#endeared#I snorted so hard it hurt#like baby I hope while you were going through the effort of looking me up you used that fancy block button
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#when I tell you I snorted so hard my sinuses hurt#qsmp sorta-liveblogging#I live in a state of watching 2 hours behind that is not quite hell but not quite heaven either#philza is also there I guess
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Found something interesting you might want to see
<https://youtube.com/shorts/3DSkcmAEjH4>
(it's not a jumpscare or a screamer)
DHDJXJXDJJ DAMN IT-
#zofi's answers#holy shit you got me shskznd#it still made me snort so hard I hurt my throat /pos#sadly I can't laugh bc it's-#*notices that it's 4:18 AM*#F U C K -#zofi rambles
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https://i.pinimg.com/originals/80/00/26/8000268cccfc0e1b8c87776a1c4dbe45.jpg
You're all clowning on this image but I guaranfuckingtee you that Marc's first sexual experience was jacking off to this pic.
.
#batshit asks#rider: mm93#rider: vr46#[note from the admin: FUCK OFF I SNORTED SO HARD TRYING NOT TO LAUGH MY NOSE HURTS NOW]
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(Plot twist) theres " punk" in ur url coz u a swiftie
you take that back riGHT NOW-
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Are you an Angel and a Demon running around in a panic because the Second Coming is an unmitigated disaster?
Are you having trouble (literally) finding Jesus?
Do you wish you had a way to send a strongly worded note to him about shirking his final duties?
~Introducing~
THE JESUS SPIRIT BOARD
Call up the Messiah anytime, anywhere! Contact guaranteed! He can't dodge your metaphysical phonecall!
Hey Jesus, stop running away from the Supreme Archangel! You have work to do!
[No refunds. The makers of the Ouija Spirit Board for Jesus are not responsible in the event of spontaneous combustion of board and planchette. Be suspicious of consistent poor spelling.]
#good omens#I snort-laughed so hard my face hurts#jesus h christ#supreme archangel aziraphale#second coming#seriously WTF hahaha#holy spirit activate
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your buddy yu narukami
#persona 4#p4#yu narukami#marie persona#// love it when im having a breakdown over lost memories and reverie starts playing and my best boy friend hands me a button#// i said i wouldnt watch the golden anime because i would cry and i did a lot of times but this part made me snort so hard my nose hurts
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reading a fic and a character just said, "Ahh, trying to pretend you don't have a praise kink like every other author," and i really did not appreciate being called out while trying to casually enjoy some queer romance. just because you’re right doesn’t mean i want to hear it. begrudgingly i will finish this fic. begrudgingly.
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You've heard of silly season, now get ready for anarchy age
The entire f1 community today be like
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bartender cabot is such an underrated character....
"My specialty is ale. Old Antivan recipe. The secret is... ale."
"What's the current mood?" "Scorn."
#im obsessed with him i snorted and started laughing so hard#inquisition Does something to my head that origins and 2 Do Not and im actually a little concerned about it#its like im having fun!!! times 3000#and it hurts#wytxt
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like curious george?? he doesn’t speak he is a little mokney
oh. tthats not
#i snorted so hard i hurt my nose. internallt#little mokney#but if he spoke his voice would be just like that maybe. hes fruity little mokney
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Every time I snort Wellbutrin I'm like, "This is gonna suck absolute ass." And then it does
#i snorted 75mg for the hell of it and now i'm fucked up dude#it's a disso it's just a disso. why do people call it poor man's coke it's simply a disso#i'm dissociating and like woozy and cotton-headed and it's not even GOOD. it's like a diet dxm trip if dxm was lame#i'd maybe have more fun with it if it didn't hurt your nose/throat like a gd motherfucker but it was nawt made to be insufflated#SAD. well there's other drugs#personal#drugs#drugs tw#drugs cw#tw drugs#cw drugs#drug tw#drug cw#writing my book rn but it's so hard to type and concentrate and comprehend language whoops#guess i'm testing out my post-antibiotic drug tolerance. the verdict is: still fucky i think
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Me, reading Lightlark: Oh no, she's doing the Edward Cullen thing. "'We really should stay away from each other.'"
B, suffering: All right bye.
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keyleth: we are seeking a set of armor, it was won in a game of cards
matt demon: a game of cards
keyleth: some also call it a... card game
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retired pornstar!Ghost who can't seem to ever keep his hands to himself whenever you're around, even when about to film.
f!reader, 18+ smut. unedited.
If you're standing at a table making coffee, he'll sneak up from behind and wrap his arms around you, his chin resting on the crown of your head.
Hi, Ghost.
G'mornin', love.
If you're walking out of Price's office with a script in hand, he's by your side in mere moments, throwing an arm over your shoulder.
"New script?"
"You should know, you're my co-star. Again."
"Lucky me, pet."
He's leading you toward his office, perches you on his desk and cups his hand over your core.
"Gonna let me eat this pretty pussy?"
"I dunno, Ghost. Gonna fuck me here too?" you smirk at him.
"Whatever you want from me," he breathes.
You stumble out hours later with swollen lips, love bites mottled over your neck and collarbone, and his warm spend trickling down your legs because Ghost pocketed your knickers.
The day of, he's texting you if you'd like a ride to the studio.
Sure thing. Get me in 15.
Yes ma'am.
He doesn't ask for your address, and you don't question why he knows where you live either. Ghost, forever the gentleman, opens the passenger door for you, and gently helps you get in. The entire drive over, his hand rested on your bare thigh, his small finger occasionally grazing your clothed cunt. By the time you arrive, your knickers are damp with your arousal.
"Somethin' wrong, love?"
You snort at his feigned innocence. "Cute. Is mercilessly teasing me fun to you?"
"Sorry 'bout tha.'" Ghost doesn't sound all that apologetic.
He brings you in tight, wrapping his arm around you firmly.
"Lemme make it up t'you in my dressin' room", he purrs.
You click your tongue. "Price'll have your head if he catches me in there, especially when we're about to make a vid."
"Be sure to keep quiet, then. Would absolutely hate to get caught."
With his smart fingers and expert tongue, you're brought to peak 3 times.
Price rolls his eyes when he spots you both walking in at the same time 15 minutes before the shoot.
"Always cheek by jowl, eh Simon?"
His piercing eyes cut to Price's. "Not a crime, last I checked."
Price lifts his hands up, palms outward in mock surrender. "Easy, Ghost. Only teasin'." He turns away, gesturing the crew to get in their places.
Ghost taps your chin with his pointer finger, drawing your attention. "Showtime, baby."
The wolfish grin on your face mirrors his.
"Showtime," you echo.
Ghost turns sex into art. He moves with discipline; every languid roll of his hips deliberate. Like a skilled painter, he transformed you into a living masterpiece, using each drag of his cock as a brush stroke on the canvas of your very being.
It's otherworldly.
He watches your face intently as he changes the angle, bites his bottom lip when he changes the pace, grunting into your ear as your walls begin to flutter— the telltale sign of 'his favorite part', as he loves to say.
"Gonna come f'me? Lemme hear that sweet, little voice of yours, pet." Almost as if following his command, you're digging your nails into his biceps, and closing your eyes in bliss as you climax. A loud, drawn-out moan escapes your lips as your cunt rhythmically pulses around Ghost's heavy length. Your soft thighs quiver around his broad waist as he works you through the aftershocks with slow, firm thrusts.
"Look at tha'. Came when I told ya to, like a good girl." Your mind is blank from your orgasm, tongue too heavy and thick in your mouth for you to even try to articulate a response.
"Creamed all over my cock, can ya hear it?" Hard not to when the wet sounds of your pussy squelching every time he bottoms out fills the room.
"You're so fuckin' tight. Cunt's squeezin' me like it doesn't want me to pull out."
His filthy words send a jolt straight to your throbbing core. "Felt tha'. What, you got a breedin' kink?"
Another jolt, so sharp it almost hurts.
"Want me to fill ya with my come? Is tha' it?" His husky voice dripping with desire. With want.
yes. yesyesyessss—
"Tell me you want me. Fuck, tell me you want me to come in you." The words fall from your spit-slick lips like a faucet.
"Come in me, oh my god, come in me. Fill my pussy up."
His thrusts lose some of their rhythm, but still not sloppy enough like when he's on the very brink.
Ghost's jaw in clenched, as if digging his heels in to hold off his climax. Well, that's simply unacceptable.
Your fingers tangle into his hair, giving him a slight tug to have his lips hover over yours.
"I want you come in me, Simon."
The change is instantaneous. His eyes widen a fraction before stealing your very breath with a searing kiss and fucks you. He puts his weight behind each snap of his hips. The tip of his cock pressing into the plug of your womb, making your eyes prickle with tears.
It's too much, he's too much, you think you've gone and bitten off more than you can chew with him when he mercifully stills with a groan you swallow— cock twitching as it pains your insides white.
He breaks away, gasping for air, sweat that beaded on his forehead dripping onto your heated skin.
Cut.
DaVinci and his muse.
Later, when he threads his fingers into your damp hair, you ask him why he doesn't record with others.
"'Cause I don't want to."
Oh?
"Besides, you and I have fantastic chemistry, dont'cha think?" He tugs on a lock of hair. "The fans love seeing us together, just as much as I love seeing my cock disappear into your sweet pussy."
He chuckles when he takes in your flustered expression. "Don't ask questions you aren't prepared to hear, then."
#call of duty#simon ghost riley#simon ghost riley x reader#cod mwii#cod mw2#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley smut#simon ghost riley x you#ghost smut#simon ghost riley x f reader#simon riley x you#ghost x reader
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sooo i read your "indulge me?" piece and that's why i wanted to ask for gojo simping for reader that doesn't really seem him as more as a friend and he's fine with it (lol he's not but he's need to keep the facade you know???) hope you write it at some point! btw loving you writing so far <333
11:34pm — gojo satoru
contents. highschool!gojo, fluff, he’s so in love bye, underage drinking, tokyo and kyoto students have a little get together!
“what’s wrong with him?” utahime watches her white haired underclassman down another can of beer. it was rare to see gojo drinking with the rest of the group, always opting for a soda instead.
shoko takes another swig out of her drink, unsurprised. “[name] is on a date.”
a pathetic groan leaves gojo’s lips and the upper half of his body is splayed over the kotatsu in shoko’s room, sunglasses long forgotten somewhere. he lets out an unapologetic burp. everyone at the table spares him a glance of pity.
utahime grimaces and mutters a quiet, “gross”.
“don’t provoke him,” geto scolds shoko, flicking some ash from his cigarette to the ashtray below. “she’s just dealing with clan matters. arranged marriages and whatnot.” he used his free hand to land a firm pat on gojo’s back. what kind of best friend would he be if he didn’t try to comfort satoru?
“poor thing. i can keep you company in the meantime,” mei mei’s smile is far from something with good intentions. gojo shakes his head to refuse, but with the way his forehead was pressed to the table, it looked comical. like a child throwing a tantrum.
the only thing that managed to get gojo satoru out of his drunken slump was a soft knock on the door. he could recognize that pattern anywhere. could it be–? the snow haired boy immediately perks up. his drunk dazed eyes brighten as he quickly makes his way to the door.
geto snorts at the way his best friend reacts. he thinks he can see an imaginary tail wagging, as if he were a dog.
“you’re late!” gojo accuses you when he opens the door. you blink.
“are you…okay?” your voice is laced with concern as gojo’s large frame towers over you. gojo preens.
“awww, is my [name] worried about me now? don’t worry, ‘m doing just fine!” there is a goofy grin painted on gojo’s face as he leans against the doorway. all conversation has stopped and every sorcerer was listening attentively to gojo's hopeless conversation with you. utahime can’t help but feel just a little compassion for the boy. he was pining so much it hurt.
“i wasn’t worried. it's just that your words are all slurred– don’t tell me you let shoko talk you into drinking with her again?” you sigh. it was hard to miss the smell of beer on him. gojo and alcohol never mixed well, and the last thing you needed tonight was another lecture from yaga.
from inside her room, shoko shouts, “it wasn’t me this time! the idiot decided to drown himself in beer after we warned him not to!” it was common knowledge that gojo couldn’t handle his alcohol.
the male in question pouts.
“can a man not grieve about the love of his life being married to another?” gojo deflates. on the other side of the threshold, you wrinkle your nose.
“who said anything about marriage? like hell i’m going to accept a proposal from naoya zen’in.” you grumble. it had been a long night. dealing with your family and naoya was enough to scare you into staying in jujutsu tech for good. you’d rather lose your sanity to gojo than your dignity to naoya.
“never mind that though, are mei mei and utahime still here? i was hoping to catch up with them!” you smile, crouching under his arm to make your way into the room. gojo doesn’t hesitate to trail right behind you.
“[name]!” utahime waves happily at you, her mood no longer sour after she sees you. your wave back is enthusiastic. mei mei acknowledges your presence.
“how was dinner with naoya?” suguru asks. your face pinches up. he laughs before handing you a cold can of soda which you accept graciously.
you hear gojo mutter to himself from behind you.
“what’s up with him?” you whisper to suguru.
“you know how he is when he drinks,” he sighs, ushering you to sit beside him. gojo seemed to have his own agenda though, forcefully squeezing himself between the two of you. you shoot him an annoyed look to which he responds with a grin on his face.
“‘m tired,” he whines, stretching his arms dramatically while letting out a loud yawn. you grunt when there’s a heavy weight on you; gojo has thrown his entire body on your side.
you don’t bother pushing him off. you’ve learned in the two years you’ve known gojo that he is like a baby when he gets drunk. it’s best if you let him have his way.
“go to sleep then, idiot,” you flick his forehead. he juts his bottom lip childishly, looking up at you with wide eyes. his eyes are captivating and you think you see nervousness through those azure orbs.
“will you come to bed with me too?” he rests his chin on your shoulder. you raise an eyebrow in surprise.
“eh? why would i?”
“because i’m cute.” gojo bats those long eyelashes of his innocently. you roll your eyes playfully before taking another sip out of your soda.
“you’re weird– that’s what you are.” your lips quirk upward, eyes twinkling with mirth. he sulks, chin still comfortably supported by your shoulder.
“‘m not that bad!” he protests, a frown forming on his lips. you look at him for a long moment. this was the first time you’ve ever gotten to look at gojo this closely.
his hair was getting longer, you note silently. with your free hand, you slowly move a strand of hair out of his face. gojo watches you earnestly. if his cheeks were not already flushed, they are now.
“can we stop it with the flirting? let us single folk live in peace.” shoko speaks up. you turn your attention hastily from gojo to the rest of your fellow peers.
“i feel like i’m intruding on something,” mei mei says scandalously. your eyes widen.
“we are not– no way!” you shake your head repeatedly. no one believes you. especially not while gojo is still resting on your shoulder, eyes watching you, full of love.
“stop giving him all your attention and talk to us! we’re much better company,” utahime scowls, pointing her beer disapprovingly at the white haired boy on you. you think you hear gojo grunt.
“alright, alright,” you concede.
“i hope you don’t mind me asking again, but do tell us how your night with the zen’in kid went,” suguru snickers. you groan exasperatedly.
“where do i even start?”
the rest of the night goes by pleasantly. you had been so engrossed with retelling your experience with dealing with your family that you had failed to notice what gojo was up to. by the time everyone left their respective dorms (or temporary dorms), you noticed the head of white hair sleeping soundly on your lap.
he mumbles something in his sleep, nuzzling himself closer into your stomach. cute. you giggle at how innocent he looks.
you don’t know what took over you, but you remember bending down and placing a soft kiss on his forehead. to your surprise, gojo reciprocates your kiss. to the best of his capabilities anyway. you watch as he puckers his lips in his sleep. oh my– how precious.
you suppose he isn't so bad.
notes. THANK U FOR BEING MY FIRST ANON ASK. ily!!! i saw somewhere that gege confirmed gojo would have drunken failures when he was a student haha this is my take on that. hes so bf
also thank you for all the support on my first post?!? you guys are too sweet im crying. i literally giggle and kick my feet reading your feedback ><
#kt.writes.·:*¨༺#gojo x reader#gojo fluff#satoru gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojou satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojou satoru x you#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#gojo x you#jjk x reader#remember spring days!au
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