#I must be having a stroke wtf | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dreamauri · 2 months

Text

♪ — 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘𝗥𝗦 𝗥𝗢𝗖𝗞 - part three max verstappen x fem! driver! reader (fluff) “. . . this is what they call: puppy love.”

( fic master list | general master list ) ( requests ) ( previous | next )

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

yn.halimi

liked by landonorris maxverstappen1 and 21.6k others y.ln p4 on first our race, not where we wanted to be but we'll get there!! round one, check ✅ imola next, can't wait 👋

landonorris Y/NNN ⤷ yn.halimi LANDOO

username good luck

ferrarihypercar you did an amazing job out there! ⤷ yn.halimi forza ragazzi ❤️

username Wtf Porsche dominated like Red Bull in f1. A lot of work to do for Ferrari. But forza Ferrari

carlossainz55 Ojalá hubiera podido venir a mirar [wish i could have come and watched] ⤷ yn.halimi La próxima vez! Acabo de recibir noticias sobre tu p3, va a ser una gran temporada👍[next time. i just received news about your p3, it's going to be a great season] ⤷ carlossainz55 cuándo será la próxima vez? imola? [when will be the next time? imola?] ⤷ yn.halimi sí, Imola en abril. eso es hasta ahora [yea, imola in april] ⤷ landonorris soy lago ⤷ yn.halimi dora the explorer did not teach you well

username Consider Qatar 1812 a race about discovery, of finding out a lot about the car 🏎️🐎

maxverstappen1 thumbs up ⤷ landonorris soy lago ⤷ landonorris i think max is having a stroke? ⤷ yn.halimi soy lago? you trying to show off your spanish skills?😂

username I see the F1 ferrari energy slowly transferring to WEC

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

thumbs up. you couldn't hold in the smile that curled on your lips as you re-read the comment. exiting your profile and going to dms, you didn't scroll far to reach the desired contact.

'saw you asked for me the other night' you typed, turning you phone off after so you could slip in your bed and shut your eyes for the night. it had been a long day for you and now that you were finally back in your hotel you couldn't wait for some proper rest.

but maybe you could stay up a little longer. Once your phone buzzed from on the nightstand you'd snatched it and unlocked it. 'we were playing fifa and i wanted to beat you' you couldn't feel the wide smile that stuck on your face. 'fifa you say? i might not have my console with me but i have some free time and my soccer shoes' you typed back quickly seeing he was still online and in the chat.

'what do you have in mind?' if your smile could have gotten any bigger, it would've. you sat up looking around your room. after a few seconds of thinking you looked back down at your phone. 'see you in jeddah?'

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The weather didn't bother you that much. you barely ever wear revealing clothes so wearing modest clothes didn't feel odd. you were too busy dribbling the football to be bothered by something irrelevant as clothes anyways, especially since max was chasing you and trying to steal the ball away.

Unlike the dutch who didn't waste any of his time going over to jeddah, you arrived during the evening, sometime after four. it was only at 5:30 did the two of you decide to actually go through with the plan of having a small football match together.

You were very surprised that the dutchman had accommodated for your time together at his hotel, somehow managing to book the tennis courts and take out the nets so you could makeshift a football field. It was a single goalie match, your shoes that you never got to wear making where the goal was.

"That's cheating." You huff-laughed, pushing him back with your shoulder. You must not have been in race mode because Max's reaction time skills were still on. in your moment of weakness he was able to steal the ball and take his shot to the bake shift goal. "Yea!" He cheered throwing his hands up, dabbing.

Crouched down on your knees, you tried to hold in a laugh at max. "That doesn't cpunt! You cheated!" You accused, getting back up on your feet. the time was sometime in early 6 and the sky had taken a nice gold and orange colour. "Contact!" Max fiend hurt as you you pushed your side into his sending him a couple of steps to regain his balance. "a 5-second time penalty for ms. L/N." "A fine for mr. verstappen." "A fine?" max put a hand on his chest making a shocked face. "Oh dear, go easy my bank account."

"Hmm" you put your hands on your hips, pretending to think. "I'm sorry mr. verstappen, but it's pretty big fine." "oh no. How much?" he played along, pretending to be worried and shocked.

★ ☆ ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"It's bad they don't serve wine here, I'd be getting two gorgeous bottles of 1945 Domaine de la Romanee-Conti." You hummed, whispering about the wine once the waiter severed your table and left. "1945 what?" Max chuckled as took a sip of his drink ( which was actually just redbull in a fancy glass ) before picking up his fork to begin with the mini feast you ordered.

"Expensive french stuff." you shrugged, starting to eat from your own plate. "How expensive." He asked, chewing and looking at you. You gave another shrug, drinking your own drink (which was also just redbull in a fancy glass) to help swallow. "about 558k?" Max chocked on his food momentarily and you laughed at his reaction.

348 notes · View notes

livelaughlovesubs · 16 days

Note

I need to vent amongus Boothill hngg 😩 I've been down bad since the leaks like seven plus months ago hnggg please plEASe 😩

I'm a slut for cowboy characters hnggg I love his drawl literally told my partner before his voice was released if he didn't have an accent then what was the point

Please he's so pretty and shdbdhdh he makes me giggle and kick my feet I know he'd be the Roger Rabbit to his lover (or like Hosier when he tweeted "my girlfriend is made at me I want to die") he's such a devoted hunk of man 😤 listen he's the lock in kinda hoe ya know when he's in a fully committed relationship he's the biggest sluttiest sub, he doesn't half ass his relationships ok

I know a lot of people debate on if he can feel or not with his body but I raise: we literally have VR sensors to detect touch IRL rn so I'd say with some effort absolutely but typically if he's working it's probably best they're not as active

Country boy, I love youuuuuu 😘😘😘😘

I don't care what biology or society says I'm gonna make him my bride and impregnate him even if I have to get Ruan Mei's help (she'd absolutely do it out of curiosity fr fr).

-🐇

Pls, when I first saw leaks of him I thought he was very ugly 💀 I DONT KNOW WHY, I LOOKED AT THOSE LEASK AND WAS LIKE: WTF IS THIS MAN? And all the comments were simping over him, while I sat there thinking, ‘damn, ya’ll simping over such a random ass cowboy? Why.’

Now I’m such a whore for him on god, I came back to the game just for him and have 200 tickets prepared for him 😭😭 mind you before I came back I had zero (cuz I took a break after losing on balde’s banner again) prefarmed all his shit and got artefacts ready for him too. Also build my other characters, grinded till I got to 300 tickets to get an exclusive bronya for him etc etc. How twisted fate is uff.

Anyway, boothill as a slut/ whore is such a hot thought. Him being a teasing bottom, who almost seems like a power bottom would be so sexy. But after I saw his ‘shy’ expression I must say, an inexperienced, all talk no bite and shy boothill is >>>>

HIS BLUSHING FACE IS SOOO CUTE I ALMOST DIED ON THE SPOT, I ALMOST CRIED.

Just imagine him being cheeky, until you touch him, praise him and stroke his hair. How his eyes widen and his lips tremble due to the embarrassment. His body must be overheating again, otherwise he doesn’t have a plausible explanation as to why he feels so hot. Avoiding your gaze at all cost as he put on big airs again, only to squeak and whine when you kiss him so tenderly <33

#nini!rant #🐇 anon #hsr #Honkai star rail #sub hsr #sub honkai star rail #sub boothill #boothill headcanons #boothill x you #honkai boothill #boothill star rail #boothill honkai star rail #boothill x reader #hsr boothill #boothill hsr #boothill

149 notes · View notes

starl3ght · 1 year

Text

141 + more with a reader that sleeps a lot

A/N: I’m back from the dead, haha Melanie Martinez kinnie. I have a cousin that sleeps till 3 in the afternoon like wtf😨 I live for these men. They’re fine as fuckkkkkkk I loved making this

Requests are open and follow for more <333

-

Simon “Ghost” Riley

• He won’t be worried that much about you

• Maybe you’re just tired so he lets you do your own thing

• He respects you and what you just do around the house so he allows it

• But notices how you nap like every 3 hours a day and he gets concerned

• You just drop wherever. The couch, the living room floor, he found you outside in the grass one time.

• He throws a blanket over you each time and rubs his temple wondering what he’s gonna do with you

• “Love, you know this isn’t healthy right?”

• You had just woken up from your 4th nap.

• You look at him with your puppy eyes

• “But I’m tired”

• Don’t melt his heart, it makes him weak.

• “Trust me you’re gonna regret it, now up you go.”

• He’ll throw you over his shoulder and makes you do some random activities for you not to fall asleep.

John “Soap” Mactavish

• Might do the same thing but not much as you.

• He thinks it’s weird that you just close your eyes and stay dead for a few hours

• Might wake you up for fun

• He likes seeing you angry

• He sprayed you with the bottle one time. That wasn’t a good thing to do let’s just say.

• But seriously he is a bit concerned for you

• So when he walked into the literal, pitched black living room with the tv on and opened the blinds to the sunlight you hissed like some savage cat

• He only looks at you with a weird look

• “Jesus…alright, up and at em love.”

• You’ll just throw the blanket over your face again

• Ok, that’s how you wanna play it? He can play that game too

• He’ll grab your legs and drag you off the couch

• “No Johnny” you’re hugging a pillow against your face and he keeps dragging you “Not letting go that easy love. Now up.”

• He’ll pick you up putting your legs around his torso and your arms around his neck

• “We’re going out, dunno where but you’re done with your hobby for today bonnie”

• You went to Starbucks together( ˘ ³˘)♥

John Price

• Concerned as any parent would be

• Limits your sleeping time

• Has his alarm on his phone to wake you up

• “Love rise and shine, well technically it’s 4 in the afternoon so…”

• You’re still dead.

• He’ll stroke your face to wake you or just come back to existence💀

• Kisses your forehead and shakes your shoulder gently

• If you wake up he’s not letting you go back to sleep

• “You ready to stay up now love?”

• You violently shake your head no but he takes you to the living room so you can watch tv or read a book

• He needs you to be more active🤷‍♀️

• Might consider taking you to a doctor but tries to help you first

• Watches your sleeping habits well

• If it’s insomnia he’ll comfort you in his lap as you rant on about your sleeping issues

• He’ll make you sleep at the same time as him and takes you out to keep you busy or distracted.

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

• Honestly it’s ok with him

• He just doesn’t like it when it happens for like a week straight

• 2-3 days is alright him because it’s a long tiring week so.

• When its 5 times every day he’s not allowing it

• Feels bad for waking you up

• “Baby?”

• You’re still in the world of dreams

• “Love, it’s time to wake up now”

• He uses that sweet soft voice you love so much

• But you won’t wake up

• He doesn’t know what to do that he might consider calling Price for help

• When you do wake up and look at him with your eyes with bags under his heart melts

• You must be having some issues

• He’ll make you sleep early so you’re ok for the next day

• He’ll take care of you, trust me

Alejandro Vargas

• Future husband mode activated

• Worries that waking you will get you angry

• But remembers it isn’t healthy

• So he uses your weaknesses to wake you up ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

• Mans kisses the crook of your neck and strokes your hair

• “Mi amor…wake up for me” That deep sweet voice he’s got for you

• You shift around in your sleep and open your eyes

• You just go to the bathroom and go back to the couch to sleep again

• He’s standing there frozen🧍

• “Ahora si, wake up mi vida.”

• He picks you up and that’s when you wake up

• You’ll slap his shoulder from anger

• “There we go…”

• He takes you to the bedroom and gives you a reason to be tired if you know what I mean🙂✨🌹

Rodolfo Parra

• AYYYY BABY😍😍😍😍

• He loves you too much

• He’s very worried for your health

• “Mi vida por favor, wake up.”

• You just won’t budge

• Worries a bit much now

• Like what if you’re staying up all night and he hasn’t noticed and so you sleep all day

• But that if that wasn’t the issue he would calm down

• You just sleep…like a lot

• Considers giving you melatonin for the night and taking you out the next day to have your energy

• He always gently touches you and when you wake he’ll give you something to eat

• He’s literally like a parent having to take care of you

• Will help you with your habits

König

• Won’t wake you up

• He’s scared

• Like what if you’re so peaceful and he upsets you from waking you up

• But reminds himself this is for your own good

•If you fall asleep on him then may he rest in piece.

• He’s not getting you off of him anytime soon and not easily

• Will nudge you shoulder hoping you open your eyes

• “Schatz??”

•You’re still sleeping. Are you even breathing??

• “Please wake up” oh now his voice is anxious

• “König what are you doing, it’s 8 in the morning”

• Wtf is wrong with you👁👄👁

• “Umm, meine liebe it’s 2 in the afternoon actually…”

• You reach out your arms like a baby wanting to be picked up

• So he does

• Picks you up gently as if you were the most fragile thing

• “Geliebte I think we should talk about your habits my dear.”

Alex Keller

• This mf let’s you do whatever you want

• He only gets curious when you’re in random places napping

• That’s when he realized it’s weird that you sleep a lot

• “Baby, you should’ve been awake 3 hours ago. It’s already 9 pm ”

• He’s literally standing in the living room and you’re on the carpet floor with a blanket over you

• Bro reaches for the blanket and throws it across the room and you wake up whining

• “Alex stop, let me sleep.”

• He gives you an almost offended look

• “It’s already been 5 years, it’s time for you to rise. Now go eat something”

• Drags you to the kitchen and makes you eat

• Now when it’s time for bed you don’t wanna sleep

• He’ll make you either way and holds you to his chest so you can’t escape

2K notes · View notes

sareenademon · 6 months

Text

Bi Han and The Dog He Said He Never Wanted

Sareena: Beloved! Look at what I found! He was all alone at the market.Isn’t he adorable?!

*Sareena shows him a Maltese puppy. The puppy starts yapping excitedly and Bi Han looks disgusted.*

Bi Han: Take it back Sareena.

Sareena: Bi Han! Don’t be mean!

Bi Han: We are not keeping that little beast.

They did end up keeping him much to Bi Han’s dismay. He was not an animal lover and he told Sareena that the puppy was entirely her responsibility. He would not care for it.

Sareena tried to name the puppy Snowball. Bi Han couldn’t help but roll his eyes.

Bi Han: We’re not calling him that.

Sareena: Why not? It’s cute.

Bi Han: No.

Sareena: What about Fluffy?

Bi Han: Are you serious? Absolutely fucking not.

Sareena: Then what ideas do you have?

Bi Han: How about, Runt?

Sareena: *slaps his arm* …What about…Fang? After my demon fang swords.

Bi Han: Fang…Fine, whatever.

For a couple of nights the puppy irritated him to no end. It wouldn’t stop yapping. Day and night. It was so god damn needy too. It shit everywhere. Bi Han also became jealous of the little beast because it took up most of Sareena’s attention.

One night, he had enough. He was already sleep deprived, and now this puppy was barking at 3 am in the morning. He grabbed the puppy out of his crate and screamed at him to shut up. When little Fang started whining from fear Bi Han immediately felt like shit.

Wtf was he doing? Screaming at little animals. He quickly tried to quiet Fang so that Sareena wouldn’t wake up and bitch him out for upsetting him. He instinctively cradled the fluffy puppy in his arms, trying to get him to stop trembling. He gently stroked Fang’s head.

Fang was so tiny, so fragile. As Bi Han looked into the puppy’s big eyes, he felt his cold heart begin to melt.

Bi Han: Shhh…Don’t fear little Fang…I won’t harm you…

When Fang licked his fingers, that was it. That was his baby. That was his son. His precious Fang, Fang.

Sareena found him the next morning passed out on the couch with Fang sleeping on his chest.

The first thing Bi Han did the next day was buy him a expensive new blue collar, he had the Lin Kuei symbol put on it.

Sareena: I thought you didn’t like him.

Bi Han: If we’re going to keep this little beast then he must be properly trained.

Sareena: And the fancy collar?…

Bi Han: Don’t question my decisions, woman!

Bi Han is a pretty intense guy by nature and that transfers into his dog parenting.

Bi Han took it upon himself to train Fang. He put him on a strict food and training schedule. He also researched all about puppies and how to train them.

Also put Fang on a cook food diet.

Sareena: Why can’t we just feed him dog food?

Bi Han: You want to feed him that dehydrated crap?! I thought you cared about this dog!

He teaches Fang how to sit, roll over, fetch, shake, and play dead. He’s such a proud father.

Fang becomes like his emotional support dog. Whenever he has a hard day or he’s just pissed off, he calls over his puppy for comfort.

When he’s stuck doing paperwork, he likes to have Fang on his lap to keep him company.

He gets him groomed regularly and cleans his eyes daily. No crusty eyes for his puppy.

It gets really cold in Artika so Bi Han makes sure to bundle Fang up. Fang has a collection of little jackets and sweaters. He also has booties. Sareena finds it a bit silly and can’t help but laugh whenever she sees Bi Han putting booties on Fang.

Bi Han: Don’t laugh at him, it’s to protect his paws from the snow!

He doesn’t take Fang to the dog park anymore because he thinks the other dogs play too rough with him.

He started shouting at the other dog owner and Sareena has had to drag him out of there before he started throwing hands.

Aggressively overprotective over Fang. Once Tomas accidentally stepped on his paw and Bi Han was on poor Tomas like white on rice.

#sareena #bi han #sub zero #bireena #mortal komat 1 #tomas vrbada #kuai liang

111 notes · View notes

v3nusxsky · 1 year

Note

Hiya! First of all, I hope you're doing well. Second, I absolutely adore your writing! 🥰 I was wondering if you'd be interested in writing a secret family Lady Lesso x Female!Reader fic. Basically R is Lesso's wife and maybe they have a kid/kids as well, but no one knows until one day R comes to the school in search of Lesso (for whatever reason, it's up to you). And then all the students & other teachers are like "wtf you're married??". Pretty much just fluff with a hint of humour? I thank you in advance, should this catch your interest. ☺️

- 🐈‍⬛

Hidden or unnoticed

*Authors note~ I absolutely love the idea of this trope and request and I'm honoured to have a chance to write it for the first time*

Trigger warning~ none?? Stressed out mother r sick baby

Prompt~ see ask^^^^

It was rare that you needed to get a hold of your wife during school hours. You understand that her work is important to her and truly that you'd have your hands full with your twin son and daughter. You always made sure to have some time with her after she returned to you though. Your children would be down for the night and it gave you time to spend devoted to the redhead. Time you very much cherished. That's not to say that Emerson Allen Kai and Marilyn Isadora Nova Lesso didn't get their mama because they did but you were the stay at home parent and that worked well for your little family unit.

However, today you were out of your depth. Mari seemed to have come down with some illness and nothing was soothing her. When she cried she started Emerson off too and you were losing your mind. You remember the deal you made Nora that when the twins were born, if you ever became overwhelmed you were to find her. Your ability to teleport yourself and others made it easy enough to adhere too. So that's why you bundled up Mari in a beautiful violet swaddle and balanced Emer on your hip before envisioning your wife's office.

Leonora was startled by a high pitch cry coming from her daughter as you and the children suddenly appeared in her office. The unsuspecting Clarissa and Emma startled by the appearance and how rough your appearance was. Why on earth would a stranger pop into her office carrying two infants? Especially when she hardly looked put together. She had to be brave to risk Leonora's wrath. What the two women were not expecting was for the redhead Dean to immediately hurry and take the little boy off your hip.

"Nora" you whimpered feeling like you wanted to tear your hair out, "I don't know what to do she won't stop crying, I can't bring her fever down. Help me" you pleaded the desperation soaking every word. Emerson was placed on the floor where he happily babbled trying to hold himself up into a sitting position. She then took Mari off you and gently rocked her whispering words of reassurance to the infant and you. You stood there helplessly just watching as she soothed your daughter. Her magic glue creating a cooling sensation that she stroked all over her cheeks and forehead.

"Y/n my love come here" she commanded you gently causing your eyes to flicker to Emer who was happily blowing bubbles at Clarissa and Emma giving them his signature cheeky smile that you were so sure he got from your Nora. You collapsed into her side carful of your daughter and began to sob. You felt like you'd failed Marilyn but Leonora seemed to have the gift of soothing her so she must be better than you right? Guilt knowing you carried the twins yet you seemed to not do anything right now.

Marilyn now sleeping Clarissa could see the stranger wasn't much of a stranger so offered to hold the infant while she comforted you. "Thank you, I'd like to hold my wife " she murmured handing over Mari so gently that it was almost as if she'd break. "Wife?" Emma not so whispered to Clarissa, the shock of knowing Leonora married and no one knew clearly written all over her face.

For some unknown reason your temper seemed to flare and your wife had to hold you tight to her front. "Dove no. She doesn't mean it nastily calm down my love " she whispered pressing kisses into your hair. You could feel the anger and tension fading away until your son cried. It appeared he was rather in tune with your emotions so you immediately came to scoop the crying baby up and rock him gently. "Shh baby boy momma is okay I promise it's okay shhh" perhaps it was the calming whispers of your voice or maybe your heart beating beneath him but he was soon soothed.

Leonora took Mari from Clarissa and came to stand near you, looking like a perfect family in a picture while you were so wrapped up in the comfort of your wife and children you didn't notice the other women slipping from the room to give you all some privacy and not disturb the babies. They'd find Leonora later and try to find out why she didn't tell them. But for now you could just soak up needing your wife to help you get through this difficult day.

Word count~ 895

#anon answered #v3nusxsky answers #fanfic #anon requested #lady lesso #sfgae #leonora lesso #lady lesso x reader #lesso x reader #lady lesso x you #leonora lesso x reader #lady leonora lesso #lady leonora lesso x reader #dean of evil #dean of evil x reader #dean of evil mother

195 notes · View notes

an-j8 · 1 month

Text

Okay.

my honest opinion on this cover. ( My english is bad btw) + theory about the guy in the back

(I'm going to talk a lot because I expected a lot)

1) it’s empty. Not only does Keefe not do an action like all the covers of the saga but he just looks at us with a smile on his face. the characters are poorly organized it seems like Keefe is taking up all the space the details are really sloppy

2) there is no special color. Exile is blue, legacy violet, stellarlune red but this cover has no color it’s super disturbing

3) it does NOT fit with the rest of the books

4) Keefe face. his left eye is not simetric (plus it droops) there is not much space in his face on the side his hair is not the same as before it just looks like someone put some hair on him twigs on the skulls and there are holes. "b-but he just grew up" growing up doesn't mean your whole face changes. Pls it looks like he has a wig?

5) there are not enough details too many people forward!!

6) I've seen people say they expected a parallel with 8.5. and indeed it would have been so much better aesthetically it would have been beautiful with the other books. Keefe could have been in the center with AROUND human destinations like the cover of book 8.5. Or she could have put a SCENE, an ACTION. I don't know Keefe with an umbrella stroking the fox or him under a lamppost or him investigating, I don't know something

7) Keefe's expression? my friend told me the underground looks like heaven lol why is he smiling like that? I mean he just LOST his life, left his best friend (Fitz), the girl he loves and all the other people he cares about so WHY is he looking at us like that wtf the cover had SO MUCH potential with an alley dark where I don't know I just want to cry

Now the guy.

I think it's Grady @ru0exe made fun of me but it makes sense that it was him 😭 Something must have happened between Grady and Keefe which would explain why Sophie's father became so nice to him. and then at the end of 8.5 Grady gives him a tip to contact him it wouldn't surprise me if Grady went to the forbidden cities to keep an eye Keefe.

or your just a member of the neverseen? But who 🤔

whatever it is, the more I cover this for you, the more I want to cry.

#I of course respect everyone who likes this cover it's just not my case #kotlc #kotlc fandom #kotlc thoughts #keeper of the lost cities #keefe sencen #unraveled #kotlc unraveled

28 notes · View notes

valeskawhore · 2 years

Text

Yandere! Homelander! head-cannons!

He’s become my new obsession lately..

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

•~•~•~•~•~•

•~•~•~•

•~•

He is a literal man-child and because of this, you haft to suffer for it.

Will throw the biggest bitch-fit if he didn’t get what’s he wants. He’s trying to be nice about it and ‘ask’ you to move in with him before taking force and ‘kidnapping’ you.

You should be grateful that he’s even looking in the direction of a non-supe!

Homelander has precious time that doesn’t need to be taken up by your worthless self right now. I mean, come on— Suck. It. Up.

Pull yourself together already, and stop screaming and scurry all over the floor like some kind of pet.

(Not that he wouldn’t want you on your knees already but yanno..)

He believes you’re being over-dramatic about everything.

Never seen a dead body before? Pfft- fucking amateur..

Don’t get me wrong, he loves you. He loves you so much that he willing to tear this world apart to find you if you ever dared to try and leave him.

Blood will be shed sweetheart. If risking the world for you is something that needs to happen so it can prove that he loves you and only you, then he will.

He just wants your affection back, for you to love him and Rock him to sleep like the mother he never got to have.

After Stilwell and storm front, just give this man a break already.

Seriously tho, wtf is wrong with people these days? Can’t the public just see that what he’s doing is for the importance of them?

He’s going to lay on your lap and rant to you forever. Just stroke his hair, hold his face with one hand and rub gentle circles on his cheek bones.

He basically begging at this point for some kind of attention. You just won’t give him any.

“Sweetness.. please..” he’ll try to call out, “Hunny, you know I don’t like it when you ignore me.”

Homelander refuses to hurt you, tho ends up doing it anyways. His level of patience is so thin. Sometimes, he just forgets that you’re only just a human.

Punishments are not going as extreme as he can make them, I’ll tell you that.

He’ll lock you in your room for days. Make you crave affection and become dependent on only him.

He’ll use all your essential needs as an excuse to get affection from you because he’s willing to stoop that-fucking-low right now.

“Hm? You need to use the bathroom? Give me a kiss first then ask me..”

Tampons? Pads? Ohhh lorddddd.

“Is it that time of the month already?” You nod, “Sure but only if you hold me and play with my hair.”

So you do.. next thing you know, Ashely’s at your front door with a few boxes of tampons and pads.

He cares, in his own little Homelander way.

From the way he grew up, it’s really hard to love someone for him. He never had any kind of front row seats to that kind of thing growing up.

He knows he’s mental, he knows- how could he not?

But hopefully you can break through that and just really see how much he loves you..?

They’re strict rules around the house:

No going out in the daytime. If you earned some fresh air you both wait till nightfall and he’ll fly you around for a bit with some duck tap around your mouth until he knows he can trust you.

He must accompany you in the kitchen. All knives and things sharp are already locked away but he still needs to be there with you.

4-7 minutes max in the bathroom. Take any longer and he will break the door down.

When he leaves anywhere you get attached to a 10tf chain around your ankle. You can barley reach the bathroom in your room much-less the door and even if you could, it’s locked from the outside with vought’s high tech security.

Cameras everywhere except for the bathroom. He needs to be able to see you at all times or just whenever he wants.

Homelander doesn’t ask more than twice for things. Refuse and punishment is the outcome.

There are many more but you get the idea. He’s just scared he’s going to loose you to bully butcher or worse, soldier boy.

Homelander is extremely jealous and possessive. You’re his and he’s yours, that’s all there is to it and that’s all there’s going to be.

Sometime in the future, Homelander is going to want kids.. if Becca got pregnant then you can too. It’s just going to take a lot of time and patience.

He wants to be the stereotypical “American family.”

A light yellow two story house lined with a white trim and surrounded by a white picket fence. 1 son, 1 daughter, 1 wife, 1 husband and a crusty white rich dog.

Press annoys him tho so he’ll move you out to the country side, away from everyone when you’re both ready to settle down.

<33333

#the boys x reader #the boys #yandere homelander #homelander x reader #homelander imagines #homelander #funny content #funny story #shit post #funny shit #amazon prime #x reader #yandere #yandere x reader #darkcore

1K notes · View notes

dontdodrugs-dome · 11 months

Text

What’s the best way to cheat on someone ?

“Alright pray fa me y’all be lucky I love y’all because I’m really risking my marriage for y’all satisfaction ” I say towards the camera I swear I love my fans a lil too much

I call Anthony name trying to sound as serious as possible, to come into the room which he takes forever doing even though he was legit just a couple feet away “wassup ma?” He says scanning my facial expressions to see what could possibly be wrong

His New York accent shinning bright as ever but we must stay focus “I have a serious question ” I tell him trying not to smile at the fact he looked so good in his sweats I swear this man could wear a tree and he would look good

“Ok? Is everything alright ” I shake my head while continuing with the question “how do you cheat on someone ” I swear the second them words came out my mouth all you can hear is the birds outside our windows “what do you mean ” he had his eyebrows raised

“I don’t know I just needed to know-” I was rudely cut off by him “wtf you mean you “needed to know ” y/n is there’s something you tryna tell me or something ” he says getting all defensive he sat down on the bed while keeping eye contact with me

“Anthony I just needed to know I was curious that’s all” I said trying to fight the urge to go hug him my poor baby look stress “ you do know we’re married right ? You do understand that , why would you ask me this bullshit you trying cheat on me or something ? Huh ? Is there someone better that you are seeing behind my back ? ” he says while tearing up and twisting his wedding band

At the sight of his eyes watering I immediately called off the prank and hugged him ,he wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me like I was going to disappear I stroked his hair and whispered sweet nothings in his ears we weren’t that much different in height , I grabbed his head and forced him to look me in my eyes

“Baby it’s just a prank I would never in a million years cheat on you , you are my pride and joy and I wouldn’t change that for the world itself , and someone better doesn’t even exist because you are all a woman can ask for ” I say while looking him in his eyes he smiles at me and grabs my head and kiss me ,we pulled apart “I love you so much y/n you don’t even understand ” he says while our foreheads are put together , I am so lucky .

Ahh first imagine kinda stoked (plsss what is thattt) anywho if my grammar is bad ignore it Lmao 😭, hope you enjoyed it 🫶🏾🫶🏾

#anthony ramos x reader #x black reader #alexander hamilton

77 notes · View notes

randomnameless · 9 months

Note

Funnily enough, Byleth might be one of the more tolerable characters on CF specifically, if only because they just quietly enable Supreme Leader's bs instead of coming up with some character-assassinating nonsensical excuse for why they're helping the person that tried to kill them unprovoked five minutes ago like the rest of the non-Hubert and Jeritza BESF members; it's the only time that them being mostly silent does anything to benefit their character (other than shallow self-insertion that's half-assed in and of itself due to them still being their own character to an extent), since they're one of the only BESF members to make it out of the route with their characterization relatively unscathed due to not being able to say stupid shit like the rest of the recruitable cast (excluding how out-of-character it is for them to choose CF at all, but that's hardly an issue exclusive to Byleth lol).

Mmh...

After Nopes, Engage and FEH that fleshed Billy's character a bit more - Tru Piss!Billy is also Tru Piss'd.

A fwend made a list some time ago, but Tru Piss!Billy is callous and makes "jokes" at people's expense, when Billy doesn't (or when they do, it's in good fun).

Even in my first run I noticed Billy being WTF at Emile joining the gang to besiege Garreg Mach - and they finally get their answer about the Jerry incident and the Mole People thanks to Hubert in his paralogue...

But after Nopes, without taking Sothis into account, you want to tell me Billy wouldn't bat an eye and side with Flamey, whose associates (before Hubert tells them that no, they're mutually hating and using each other) killed their father? I'm not expecting Dimitri tiers of being pissed when Rufus says he killed Lambert, but even Barney was pissed at Clout in Golden Shower for the Randolph thing. Billy is just shrugging until, per chance, Hubert takes them along in their paralogue? Seriously??

Still, yeah, I guess not having lines means they escaped the assassination levels of other characters even if I can't say they escape scot free, plot and story wise, they lose the only link they had to their own mother (and if stroking the player's peepee wasn't that important, they would have lost their friend Sothis).

This makes me think, we see way more people (or used to see?) angry because Billy doesn't react (they do actually, but not in the way some players would like?) to Dimitri's boar mode, but those very same people didn't have the same criticism about Tru Piss!Billy, when Supreme Leader sprouts her "lizards BaD bcs non humans" spiel, her "no matter what we must kill Dimitri", or anything regarding her conquest being for the great Gud who is erring somewhere.

I wonder why?

#replies #anon #tbh it's always complicated with billy in FE16 #they must be the avatar but also themselves #so they can disagree and feel sad in AM #but in Tru Piss? They're just here nodding and being shitty to Manu #maybe for some people it's easier to buy Billy as an imperialist who hates people based on the shape of their ears #the very same pointy ears he rescued from the people who hate them for the shape of their ears was also their friend #like Tru Piss Billy forgot Supreme Leader and Emile kidnapped and would have slaughtered Flayn if they came a bit too late?#or they don't care about her anymore since they learnt her ears aren't round?#rather than buy Billy being saddened after seeing the toll the war took on one of their student?

26 notes · View notes

nikkivlovesd · 6 months

Note

Seems your daughter has a tumblr too. Is she married, have the two of you ever cheated with guys together?

She is not married and yes we have definitely cheated with guys together! I remember when she brought her new boyfriend home after I just got remarried…. Well. I didn’t know she had brought him home until I walked in her room!

All I saw was some naked black ass slamming into her from behind 😳

“OMG JESSIE! WTF!?” 😂 I said. When he jumped back his huge black cock slid out covered in her juices.

“How come you didn’t tell me bout your new friend??” Eyes never left that magnificent dick. I started rubbing my clit and dropped to my knees and began stroking him. As soon as my lips touched his dick he shot his load all over me. They must have been fucking for awhile because he didn’t have very much cum lol

7 notes · View notes

livingobserver · 6 months

Text

The Deck is Stacked

So this is how my life winds down. Nervous System wrecked by Gillian Barre Syndrome (from a Flu Vaccine), knocked flat by a "Massive" Stroke a few months later. Diagnosed Type 2 Diabetes. I never saw it coming at age 59 I was still a thirty something. Shortly after my 60th birthday it all hit. Now I feel like a 70 something in my middle 60's or near about. Don't misunderstand me. I'm not complaining. Not much point in complaining. But..., it was supposed to be so much different. After being able to claim the rank of Master Artist. After staying active and strong, agile my whole life. I was supposed to just drop dead from a "Widow maker"/heart attack. You know..., just sudden and quick. My whole life style was geared to facilitate that end. I never believed in my own immortality. Now, apparently even candy could kill me... ever so slowly. WTF? So I ask myself, what is the point of being so damned cautious at this point. Why would I now want to drag this out by denying myself the things I enjoy. What's another year or two, maybe more maybe less. But I'm not suicidal either. When you get to this point, all the pain, all the denial of Life's treats and rewards. Wondering if there is truly "The Other Side" and if so..., is it better or worse than this life has been. You really do stand on the edge. I can only hope that my friend adheres to my final wishes and doesn't allow me to linger on life support, if and when that condition might be arrived at. It's just a damned shame that you can put a dog "to sleep" when it's suffering and there is no hope of recovering real living, real quality of life again. But we allow and force so many Humans to suffer. I'm not advocating for "Assisted Suicide". But I am speaking against lingering death. I've just seen far too many people waste away to nothing but a world of suffering. There must be a better way, if we are truly "Civilized". A Living Will is not often sufficient where medical profit is involved in lingering death. Especially when the Lawyers get involved. My 17 year old self, would be extremely disappointed in me for ending up in this way and that 17 year old still resides inside me yelling "STAND UP!!" 'Fraid not kid. The time for standing up from heavy blows has long passed. The warrior has aged and aged warriors die hard..., and slow. Removed from the battles except the one's within and they have no pity nor mercy it would seem. But there is still..., Tumblr. I suppose that is my window into the world now. Though so very much smaller a window than the one I've known. Tumblr might not seem like so much to you, but I am grateful for you all in any case. Thank you for contributing, [ Your time and effort]. it does matter. It matters more than you can know, unless you are like me. The same physical limitations imposed by Nature or God or just Living. It matters not..., the source. This hand will be played as dealt. But it is quite obvious to me that the Dealer is stacking the deck. What an Asshole!

12 notes · View notes

writingsofwesteros · 11 months

Note

Cersei making Jon’s Twin fuck Ned in front of her

Wtf?!? that is so hot and fucked up! no way!

Ned should have known not to underestimade Cersei, but court politics have never been his strong point. Now he is rotting in his cell somewhere in the bowels of the Red Keep, dressed in rags and praying that his children are safe.

Lord Varys has visited him, and offered him a deal, one Ned has refused. So he expects that the next time the door to his cell opens, it will be for his execution.

He is wrong.

They drag him out by his collar, straight to the Great Hall, and he is thrown to his knees before the Iron Throne.

There, on the throne sits Joffrey, the insufferable brat. His expression is bored, his nose wrinkled in distaste, as he regards Ned.

"I do not know why you insist on this, Mother. This is bound to bore me to my death. I doubt he can even get it up," says the King. Ned has no idea what is going on. Get what up?

And then his heart stops, when he sees his beautiful girl step out of the shadow behind the throne. She is being led by Queen Cersei, completely naked for all to see, and adorned with jewels. And his tired mind connects the dots.

Oh no. No! Anything but this!

He looks about, then, searching for any way of escape. That's when he notices the hall is full of Kings' Landing nobles, wealthy merchants, and even the common folk. There's going to be an audience.

Cersei is going to make him fuck his own daugher and there's going to be an audience.

He looks at Cersei then, ready to beg, but one look at her face tells him any pleading on his part is going to accomplish nothing. Worse, she's going to enjoy his humiliation all the more. He is determined to deny them the good show they're after, and instead he resolves to remain proud and unresponsive. Maybe they'll cut it short when they indeed ger bored.

He cannot look his daughter in the eyes. Not if he is to stay composed. One look at her would unravel him, surely. Poor thing must be so terrified, so humiliated...

Cersei pushes his daughter forward, and the girl approaches Ned slowly. He wants to tell her something reassuring, but nothing comes to mind. And then...

"Come on daddy... Surely this isn't so bad? We've done it so many times. Do it one more time with your good girl," she coos, her voice sultry. She says it out loud, for everyone to hear.

Gods, is his daugher in on this? Is she enjoying this? What has Cersei done to her? The Queen has corrupted his pure, sweet girl.

Ned feels he is about to collapse when his daugher unties the rope binding his hands, and then immediately she embreaces him tightly and pulls him into a kiss. It's torture to feel her sexy body pressed to him, to feel her mouth move against his, when he is aware of everyone that's watching.

Still, he embraces her and returns the kiss against his better judgement. He is so weak and he despises himself for it but... how could he not give in? How could he resist, when it's his girl that's touching him, needing him, calling him.

She breaks the kiss then, turns around and kneels, and then gets on all fours, right before the Iron Throne. A murmur passes through the surrounding crowd, as she wiggles her ass enticingly at him.

"Come on, daddy," she says. "You know what to do!"

He looks straight at Cersei then. Just to make sure all this is not some sick kind of a joke, and that she really expects him to fuck his own daughert in fron of the whole court to see. The blonde Queen is smirking with malice.

"What are you waiting for, Warden of the North?" she taunts. "If you truly can't get it up, I'm sure we can arrange something to get you in the mood..."

And then Ned thinks: to hell with all of them. Fuck Cersei, fuck Ser Jaime and fuck their inbred rat on the throne. They want a show? Oh, they'll get one they won't forget. He reaches into his pants and frees his cock, and starts stroking himself, never breaking Cersei's gaze.

"You want to see how a real man does it, Cersei?" he calls out to her, loudly. "Ser Jaime's performance has been lacking and you want him instructed? Is that it?"

Joffrey snorts in a most undignified way on his throne, and Ned counts it as a win. Cersei's face contorts with rage, and Ned can hear sounds of choking from the line of White Coats behind his back. He grins with satisfaction.

"I'm sure your brother can be thaught a few new tricks. I'll do my best to make this educational," he says, as he kneels behind his daughter and aligns his fat, throbbing member with her cunt. He strokes the girl's hip reasuringly, and she turns her head to look at him too. He sees her smile and wink at him.

"Daddy, I'm good to go," she whispers, only for him to hear. "Show them how much you love your girl". Gods, but he's missed this. He slowly sinks his cock in her dripping teenage cunt, and his girl gives out the most beautiful moan for all to hear, bless her.

"See, how she's enjoying this?" Ned asks, once again looking Cersei in the eyes, as he begins thrusting into the girl and picking up his pace. The Queen is seething with fury. "Don't get too jeallous, my Queen," he taunts, and the crowd erupts with laughter. "Maybe I'll let you suck me off once this is over, if you ask nicely!"

Someone in the crowd whistles and cheers loudly, and King Joffrey is laughing like a maniac.

"I was wrong, mother" he cackles. "This is most entertaining!"

Idk what I'm doing at this point this is pure brainrot

I HAVE NO WORDS!!

I love how Ned turned it around..Joff might keep him alive just for that amusement

#i can't add anything to this master piece #it's the hottest thing ever!!!#two bastards are better than one

19 notes · View notes

vikkirosko · 2 years

Note

Can I request another part for Male Condesce and Moiral Purple blood Reader?

Since her hive (which is also her descendant's) was transferred in the game, she survived the vast glub.

When reader's descendant explained to the other trolls that her ancestor, the advisor and enforcer of the emperor, who was put in a eternal sleep because she turned mad after having destroyed hers and her enemies' mind, is with them in the game, let's say that Karkat gave her the scolding of her life.

But when the trolls ended in a terrible situation, reader awoke, and heard her descendant's call for help. So she runs to where they are and stopped the enemy with one of her famous punch in the face.

Everyone is just like : wtf is going on. Reader just pet her descendant's head and thanks her for keeping her company and healing her.

She's more calm and serene than before, less childish too, and her song now confuse minds and can make sleep the enemies. She's not mentally strong enough anymore to use her old songs.

She likes to take care of the beta trolls, like a mother. She has now feelings of regret and remorse for what happened in the past, and understand how much Dolorosa must have suffered when she lost her child.

What she didn't know is that one of her song was capted by Condesce's radio, and he's on his way to meet his old friend again, and hopes it wasn't a stupid joke, or else.

Thanks!

♓️ Male!Condesce ♦️ purpleblood fem!Reader headcanons Little descendants 🐙

When you woke up, you were in your hive. Your lusus wasn't around, and neither was the little troll whose voice you heard while you were sleeping. You didn't know where your descendant could have gone, but you went in search of her. You were worried that your hive was in a place you didn't know, and when you heard the call for help, you hurried to help your descendant. You didn't care who your opponent was. You intended to save your descendant

Trolls were surprised when they saw you and how you got rid of the enemy with one blow. Only then did your descendant introduce you to her friends. However, you didn't care much about what was happening. You gently stroked the top of your descendant's head and thanked her with a soft smile for being by your side all this time and for healing you. Your descendant was the only one who connected you to the present world and you wanted to take care of her and her friends, especially considering that they were in a dangerous game

You've become like a mother to young trolls. For the first time in your entire adult life, you were so calm and serene. Even your songs have changed. You couldn't drive your enemies crazy anymore, but you could put them to sleep. You couldn't sing your old songs anymore without risking yourself and the young trolls. The last thing you wanted to do was hurt them

For the first time in your entire life, you felt regret. Having become attached to the little trolls, you began to be afraid of losing them. They were so young and fragile that it seemed they could break from any blow. You wanted to protect them. The image of Dolorosa often began to appear in your head. You began to understand how she felt when she lost her son. You were sorry for what you did, but nothing could be changed

Sometimes you wondered where your moiral was now, not even suspecting that he was in a hurry to return. He heard your song on the radio. He had no idea how your song got there, but he hoped it wasn't someone's stupid joke. He wasn't going to forgive the jokers who would decide to make such a cruel joke

#homestuck #homestuck x reader #homestuck headcanons #Condesce #Condesce x Reader

24 notes · View notes

elliewiltarwyn · 8 months

Text

FFXIV Write 2023 | Prompt #29: Contravention

ahhhh oh my god one more ahhhhhhhh wtf

-1027 words

----

“Ellie… Ellie! ELLIE!”

She groans and coughs, her throat hoarse and her senses dulled and fuzzy. She can’t imagine why. It’s making it damn near impossible to figure out who is calling her name. A small part of her mind says it must be Mia – she’s the only one who calls you Ellie. But it didn’t sound like her… She grits her teeth and finally wrenches her eyes open. The sight above her stuns her back into silence.

“...I've been waiting for you to open your eyes,” says the corpse, now up on their feet with their arms crossed and their eyes narrowing through tiny apertures in her helm. Her. The voice is definitely feminine in nature – oddly familiar, but she can’t figure out why. “You all right?” There’s a strange smirk in her voice. “You were moaning in your sleep, and sweating buckets besides.”

She groans again and slowly pulls her legs underneath her, presses herself up onto her knees, then eventually rises to her feet. She keeps her gaze warily on the black-armored figure in front of her, as she does in turn. “Weren’t you… dead?” she mutters bluntly.

The armored woman laughs. “Thought so myself for a second. I think you coming along sparked a bit of hope in me, or some such shite. Name's Fray, by the way.” She abruptly stops and breathes out an exasperated sigh. “And no, I'm not a heretic. Try convincing a Temple Knight drunk on authority of that, eh? Shame the pompous arse got the better of me.” Killed you, by all accounts. And yet… The woman isn’t even wounded. Something else twinges in her mind – didn’t people say they were a man? The armor is extensive enough that they’re fully covered, so that must have been a mistake anyone could make… “But how about you? You touched it, yes?” The eyes in the helm flick down to her hand at her side, at which point she realizes her fist is clenched, and she can feel something inside it. “That couldn't have felt good.”

“…It felt strange. But not… bad.” She lifts her hand and slowly uncurls her fingers. The crystal sits in the center of her palm, shiny but black as pitch, the sigil of a greatsword inscribed upon its face. It’s vaguely heart-shaped, but it’s ringed by sharp spiky ends too. She purses her lips. Is this… where that voice was calling from? It didn’t sound like her… She glances back up. “I heard a voice call me, too. They sounded… distressed. That wasn’t you?”

The other woman’s helm tilts slightly before she shakes her head. “Curious,” she murmurs, raising a hand to stroke her chin thoughtfully. She’d ask more—but a woman’s shrill cry of horror pierces the frigid night air, and her head whips up and she stares down into the gloom of the Brume. “Someone! Anyone!”

She grits her teeth, closes her hand around the crystal again, and makes to run down towards the scream—but a long steel claymore lowers in front of her. Her blood runs cold. The way the other woman is looking at her is… uncanny.

“Not so fast. We need to talk about what's happening to you – what's growing within you, before you get carried away.” She withdraws the blade slightly, her gauntlet wrapped in a reverse grip around its hilt, and rests the tip on the wooden floorboards at their feet. “There's a darkness within us all ─ nothing dangerous, mind. In fact, it's quite healthy. But the crystal changes you ─ gives you the power to channel it. Do it without proper training, however, and… well… it might hurt.”

She tightens her grip on the stone in her hand. Its sharp edges stick into her palm. “You know what it’s like, then,” she whispers. “You’ve tamed this… fire inside.”

She slowly nods. “I'll keep this brief, since you’re concerned about that scream. Dark knights care not for prestige or pedigree. We are free to follow our hearts, to defend the weak and punish the guilty as we see fit. The law of the land and the authority of a name mean nothing to us. They are tools cowards use to escape harm, but we—we have no need of shields figurative or literal. We enact our own justice… no matter how that may stand in contravention to the word as defined by those in power.” Her eyes narrow, a fierce intensity sweltering within them. “And that means that while the darkness grants you strength, that strength comes at cost – and that is but one sacrifice you would make. And justice demands many.”

She almost casually lobs the greatsword’s hilt into her other hand, then extends the pommel towards her. “Knowing this, would you still take up my sword and my soul crystal, and enact your justice?”

She meets the gaze of the dark knight and feels the rage boiling in the pit of her stomach, burning ever since the bloody banquet, the ravaged scars upon her heart as she recalls the faces of each and every lost friend among the Scions. The sickeningly smug smirk on Teledji Adeledji’s face before Raubahn bisected him. The way she had yearned for that same strength in that moment. And how if I had, then maybe… maybe I could have…

She isn’t even aware of when she grabs the claymore’s hilt; she just knows it’s in her hand now. The soul crystal burns in her palm as it imbues her with the strength to heft the thing – a far cry from canes of white magic. But it feels right in her hand. Unmistakably powerful. The fire burns within her, tinged now with a comforting shade.

“Well, well. Don’t you look the part.” There is a knowing, satisfied glint in the other woman’s eyes. “Ready to harness the darkness within to set the wrong things right.”

She breathes in the sharp cold air of Coerthas, and she feels that strength coursing through her. And Ellie lifts her gaze, her lips tight, and nods at Fray. “Train me,” she says simply. “I will see things right.”

Fray’s eyes are warm. “I know.”

#ffxivwrite #ffxivwrite2023 #my fanfiction #ffxiv fanfiction #sensing a pattern of filling these prompts through Ellie picking up her jobs from the mentors :thinking emoji: lol #but fray is certainly one of the most important job mentors for her #also feel kinda like i'm cheating by using so much game dialogue >.<#in any case oHMIGOD ONE MORE PROMPT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT

3 notes · View notes

rafes-girl4ever · 2 years

Text

All too well

!smut! minors dni : you had met bucky along time ago at a bar he smelt like whiskey and cigars you were sitting next to him on the bar stool “you here drowning your sorrows?” he asked you in a bleak tone “pretty much” you replied trying not to cry , your boyfriend just left you and your family had left you everyone you cared about left what were you going to do? , “whys that” “my boyfriend left and so did m-my family” you sobbed trying to hide your face from the winter soilder, bucky barnes, he had no idea what to do “i-i umm , im sorry pls dont cry , it will be alright” “i-im sorry , its james barnes right ?” “my names y/n” he nodded and said with a smirk “you can call me bucky, and by the way y/n is a cute name “ you looked at him and wiped your tears “mkk bucky it is” and you took another shot , it was now 20 mins later “whoah dont you think you should slow down there doll” “not a chance” you said breaking down again “whats wrong sweets” “he called me up again just to break me like a promise, he said if we had been closer in age maybe that wouldve been fine and that made me wanna die bucky” you sobbed into his chest holding his shirt so tight , god why were u telling some man everything while u were drunk but supprisingly bucky hugged you back stroking your hair and rubbing your back while he whispered “its gonna be ok i promise you doll “ “you promise bucky” you slurred “i promise you doll ,now lets get you in my car and tell me the way to your house so we can get you into bed and ill leave once your in bed and cleaned up “ “ok Mr bucky you may take me home” you giggled . he took you outside but you were stumbling and he knew you wouldnt be able to make it to his car on foot so he lifted you until you both reached the car he gently slid you into the passanger seat “y/n tell me where you live sweetheart” “16th avenue 718 bucky” you giggled “ok y/n sweetie we will be home soon.

1 hour later bucky made sure u got dressed in a oversized tee [he waited in the other room ] once you got yourself dressed you hear bucky re enter “hey y/n let me tuck you in and then ill leave” “no buck” “what do mean no buck?” “p-please stay with me buck” you said with a pouty face “y/n idk” “please buck i promise ill keep a distance from you in bed “pleassseeeee” “fineeeee” bucky grumbled even tho deep down the idea of this was giving him butterflys, he moved the cover and got in beside you once his shoes and t shirt were off and he was left only in his boxers “are you sure this is ok y/n” “im positive buck” he grumbled and continued getting underneath the covers, soo after you began snuggling him in your sleep , he was ok with it so he put his arms around you. “BUCKY” you moaned in your sleep , wtf did she just moan my name bucky thought , nah i must be imagining things but then you did it again “oh bucky” you moaned , “oh god “ bucky grumbled trying to not get hard , he was trying so hard to try and not get horny but he couldnt help it , he wouldnt do anything anything without your consent so he picked the next best option. he got outta bed quietly a nd went to the on sweet bathroom in your room and closed the door and started rubbing his cock the memory of you moaning his name in your sleep had him so hard , he was almost finished when he heard a knock at the door “b-bucky are you ok?” you whispered , he didnt know what to do he was still hard “im fine y/n i promise , why dont u go to bed” he said “i cant sleep , im coming into the bathroom” you said but before bucky could awnser you burst in “i- y/n im sorry it just you were moaning in your sleep i- im sorry you had to see me like this” you were shocked but you felt yourself growing wet “i- its ok buck rlly i umm can help you if u want” bucks jaw dropped “ rlly y/n you dont have to” “no buck i really want to” you got on your knees and look up at him and he nodded letting you know its ok , you pumped his big veiny cock in your hand twice and began licking his tip “h-holy fuck y/n your doing so good , good girl” he said while using his hand to make a makeshift ponytail with your hair to make it easier for you “mhhh” you mumbled sending vibrations making his cock feel so good he threw his head back “omg y/n im so close” you started sucking faster “ugghhhh” he moaned as he came “how`d id do buck” you asked “oh you did soo good princess but now its your turn for pleasure” he then picked you up off of the floor and gently placed you on the counter and then he began to kneel down and take of your underwear “p-please buck please” bucky let out a small chuckle “please what y/n” “please touch me bucky” bucky without warning shoved his fingers into your dripping. cunt “holy fuck bucky” you screamed grabbing his hair “holy hell princess, you gonna cum?” bucky asked “MHhh buck,im gonna cu-” bucky pulled his fingers out and licked them “sorry princess you cant cum yet “but” you squeaked “no buts honey i want you to cum on my dick not my fingers go it “ you nodded “ words princess “i got it buck” thats when bucky took his cock out of his pants, holy shit bucky was huge like really big , “holy shit buck hows that gonna fit” you whimpered “ill make it fit baby” he said in a low tone “buck pls put it in me no-” before u could finish he put his long thick cock in your wet cunt “omg holy fuck Y/n your so wet” bucky groaned “mhh bucky pls move” bucky then started moving in and out of you and he started rubbing your clit, you began to feel a familiar knot build up inside “holy hell buck i think ima cum” you whimpered “holy shit doll do you think you can hold it ima finish in just a sec i can feel it baby” “mkk buck just hurry up please” bucky began pounding into you harder to the point where your nails were digging into his back so hard there would for sure be marks afterwards. you began to see white as your eyes rolled back into your head “you boutta cum baby” buck asked as his orgasm began to hit and you could feel strings of his cum stuff your sore cunt just as you began too cum to “holy fuck y/n your suck a good girl” “mhh your the best buck” you mumbled coming down from your high, it was now 30 mins later and you and bucky where both huggled next to eachother fast asleep you were gonna rember this all too well in the morning thats for sure . all reblogs , comments and likes are appreciated <3

#bucky x y/n #bucky smut #james barnes #marvel #smut

29 notes · View notes

vonlipvig · 2 years

Text

Weird shit from Not For Broadcast - The Lockdown, and how long it took me to realize none of this was real

The fact that there’s no day number AND that nobody bothered to pick Alex up from their workstation where they got electrocuted last time: That’s just how capitalism is.

“Make sure to blast the demon hellspawn toys off from the TV tower with the dedicated demon hellspawn toy blaster 9000 button”: Too busy blushing because Jenny is talking to ME. If she says it then it must be true. On it boss.

“Electric Fever Dream” in the up next screen: You’re insane if you think I can spare any attention to read those while getting ready for the broadcast.

Rich people being filled up with helium and floating away or sOMETHING idk: I just picked the funny headline picture and immediately stopped listening, sorry.

The world outside the window turning into cartoonland: Clearly this is just a game mechanic to let you know you don’t have to zap the demon hellspawn toys outside anymore. I am very smart.

The psychic lady accurately reading Jeremy’s future: WHY WAS THIS THE ONLY THING THAT WAS KINDA ACTUALLY REAL WTF.

“I’m Megan Roof”: You can literally just say whatever cause I’m clearly not paying attention.

Ą̸̊̈́̐P̵̤͂P̷̯̙͛E̶͙̐̄̃A̵͙̝̘̓̕S̵̺͖̊Ḭ̸̙͈̑͠N̸͎̍G̷͈͎͌̒ ̵̥̃͊̊T̷̞͋H̵̦̹̀E̶̤̻̋̐ ̶̘͓͚͋̈́͝Ą̷̙̯̽͆N̶̺͖̠̓́C̴̝̀͑̒Ì̴̪̫̂̏E̶̢̢̛͌̔N̴̯̆̓T̸̨̒͊ ̴̛ͅO̷̮̺̔̽͝Ṉ̷̏ͅÉ̷̛͐͜: Weird, but I broke down by lockdown day number 3 so who am I to judge.

Jeremy’s sandwich oddysey: Yeah this is just lockdown, I did this too.

Bannon being attacked by said demon hellspawn toys: This is so fucking funny and also normal.

Jeremy changing ties in every scene: I literally would not notice anything less than him dyeing his hair bright red so yeah.

Jeremy’s subtitles changing everytime he’s addressed by a different name: This is the demon hellspawn toys’ fault, which has been already established as normal. Or I’m having a stroke.

“My name is Jeffrey Donnington”: Ok yeah I may be having a stroke. Still normal.

Everyone knowing the lyrics and choreo for the Mr. Bear song: That’s just how musicals are.

Everyone in the Mr. Bear song passing fruits to each other? They’re in different places? HOW ARE THEY DOING THIS?: I JUST NOTICED THIS WHAT THE HELL.

Megan, in a fancy sequin dress AND turning the screen into black and white, singing a scathing song about Alex’s personal life directly at you, Alex: nOW HOLD ON A MINUTE SOMETHING’S OFF

Bonus:

“Tune in tomorrow when Jeremy will wrestle an alpaca, and I will be naked”: Alex, put your fingers in the electrical outlet NOW I can’t miss that.

Aggresively Scottish (?) Megan: PLEASE I LOVE HER SO MUCH.

Very blatant occupational hazards ad complete with shock board offer: OK I GET IT. I’M STUPID.

#not for broadcast #sorry im STILL thinking about the lockdown it was so fucking funny #there are probably more that i forgot and or didn't catch cause i literally just caught the fruit thing lmao

13 notes · View notes