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leejeongz · 3 years

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jealous treasure (asahi-junghwan)

🔅i’m gonna use another member in each one because it’s easier than making up a whole new person and explaining a bit about them for each one if that makes sense. but this is just for fun, it’s fictitious, remember that pls🔅

find the other members here

🌷 asahi:

“it’s wednesday” junkyu announced. it wasn’t out of the ordinary for him to say whatever was in his brain, but today the other boys decided to humour him a little and asked him to elaborate.

“we should wear pink” he clarified as if everyone should know. asahi rolled his eyes, you’d been pestering asahi to tell junkyu to watch mean girls since well, forever, and that now he’d finally watched it, he wouldn’t shut up about it.

“but you’re not wearing any pink” asahi pointed out after scanning his whole body.

junkyu corrected him by fetching the hoodie he was expecting to wear. it was a soft, baby pink colour, with a little heart on the pocket right in the middle. asahi recognised it straight away.

“where did you get that?” he asked. junkyu couldn’t lie, he’d been caught red handed.

“from your closet” he confessed “but you always wear it and i thought i might look cute in it, can i wear it just for one day?” he begged with pleading eyes.

“hm let me think” asahi put his hand to his chin with sarcasm written all over his face “no” he snatched it from junkyu’s hands. “why would you wear y/n’s hoodie anyway?” he asked

“i-” junkyu stuttered “i didn’t know it was theirs” he said while assessing the situation “but are you really jealous right now? i didn’t know you were the type” he laughed, drawing the attention of the other members.

“no” he scoffed, “i’m not jealous, i just don’t think that they would want you wearing their hoodie. you smell” he spat out, turning his back and heading for his room.

“someone call y/n” junkyu said, wanting you to hear what a jealous man your boyfriend really is.

“don’t you have something better to do, like finding your own pink hoodie, you know, like the one you never take off your own back?” asahi snaps back, referring to the infamous pink hoodie from junkyu’s trademark outfit. as he leaves the living room, asahi takes a hesitant sniff at the jumper, hoping junkyu hasn’t infected it with his scent so much so that it no longer smells of you.

🍄 yedam:

having been stuck inside your house for what felt like a year, you were grateful and willing to accept any invitation to leave. today’s invite came from your boyfriend, yedam, who’d recently been too busy working to come and see you, which was completely understandable. he’d asked if you’d like to join him and a few of his friends on a walk around a nearby park, you of course said yes.

with beautiful scenery came the chance to take beautiful pictures. noticing that your boyfriend was too preoccupied by the ice cream van, you asked one of his friends, jeongwoo, to take a picture of you by the fountain. he agreed and instructed you on how to pose so that it wouldn’t look awkward. you followed his advice and managed to get a few shots. you walked back over to jeongwoo, who innocently stood with your phone in his hand, when you saw your boyfriend come rushing over.

“what are you doing with their phone?” he questioned “they let you take photos of them?” he spat out in a hurt manner.

“yes…” jeongwoo replied before you stepped in.

“how much are they?” you asked, pointing in the ice cream van’s direction, not understanding what all the commotion was about.

“apparently they’re all out of ice cream” he mocked “but why did you let him take photos of you? that’s my job” he pouted with a soft tone to his voice.

“ooo our yedam is all soft for y/n” jeongwoo jeered which, judging by the look yedam gave back to him, was not appropriate. “it was just 3 pictures” jeongwoo clarified “the model isn’t that easy to work with anyway, they have no fresh ideas of their own to spice up my business” he scoffed jokingly while handing your phone back to you, causing yedam to finally crack a smile.

“⅕ stars, pictures came out wonky and the photographer is bossy, unlike my lovely yedam” you smiled, playing into the joke. it wasn’t long before yedam was back to his usual cheerful self and had also finally decided that an iced tea was a good substitute for ice cream too.

🧶doyoung:

there was a lot of things in your house that didn’t make sense, but the worst was definitely the paintings hung up in your room that you’d never gotten around to taking down, mainly because you couldn’t reach them but shhh. you’d always been too shy to ask doyoung, knowing he’d laugh at you and tease you for being too short to reach them, and given you hadn’t been together for that long, you weren’t sure how much you’d appreciate that being your first inside joke.

a friend of yours, jihoon, had come over to your house while doyoung was there, which wasn’t exactly an issue, he knew you and jihoon were friends and he respected that. the three of you often gossiped and gamed together, it was a common thing these days.

“i tell you this every time im here but those are so ugly y/n, please take them down” jihoon glanced up, locking eyes with the spooky man in the painting and shuddering.

“i can’t reach” you joked, forgetting your boyfriend was also there.

“i’ll do it then” jihoon announced, standing up and reaching each painting easily.

“i could have done that” doyoung whispered under his breath while staring at you. you turned to your left to see your boyfriend's unimpressed face. “why did you let him do it?” he questioned, seeming really quite angry.

“he offered, i wasn’t gonna say no” you defended yourself. jihoon took this as his queue to leave and take the artwork elsewhere, he didn’t know where, but anywhere was better than being in that room with you two.

“is it because of his big muscles? is it because you value his opinion more than mine?” doyoung asked, laughing at his own thoughts and how ridiculous they were but possibly true.

“no” you rolled your eyes before making eye contact again “its because he offered” you repeated.

“and if i offered?” he asked, expecting you to say that you would have declined.

“obviously i would have said yes” you replied, “they were horrible i don’t care who got them down i just wanted them gone”

“oh” he sat back and relaxed into the pillow “well i’m glad they’re gone. i didn’t like to say it, but they were creepy” he laughed with you. “the next thing to go is him though” he joked, seeing jihoon walk back into your room, which of course was replied to with a scoff from your sassy friend.

💥haruto:

your sleeping pattern was well and truly out of the window, so you decided to stay up and call one of your friends that you knew would be awake, hyunsuk. he was just like you, you both slept at 4am and woke up at 2pm, so he wasn’t that shocked when you called, wide awake like him.

“where’s haruto? wasn’t he supposed to be staying at your place tonight?” he asked, genuinely concerned about his friend. you flipped the camera to show your bed, where a certain sleepy haruto lay, peacefully entering dreamland. “he’s so cute” hyunsuk giggled, you cooed in agreeance, he really was the cutest.

you stayed on call for about an hour. you were currently laughing about the tiktok he’d just sent to you, your humour was exactly the same too so it’s wasn’t hard for you to crack the other up. all the commotion woke your boyfriend, whose bed head was clearly visible in the reflection of your opened laptop when he sat up.

“did we wake you?” hyunsuk laughed upon hearing a groan from his friend.

“we?” haruto responded in a sleepy voice. “who’s we?”

“uhh us” you pointed between you and the phone.

“y/n? hyunsuk?” he snapped out of his sleepy state quickly. “why are you two up at this time and on the phone together?” you looked at hyunsuk on the screen and smiled, trying to hold in your laughter. “turn that off and come to bed, i want cuddles, and i want you to get some sleep, unlike him” he flung himself back at the bed, only inches away from hitting his head on the headboard.

“wait for me” hyunsuk joked in a teasing tone.

“no, not you” haruto whined. “just y/n please” he smiled closing his eyes and opening his arms, ready for you to join him.

“i guess this is goodnight then” you said to hyunsuk, which haruto followed up with a goodnight for his friend too before you put the phone down.

“now, cuddles please!”

♟jeongwoo:

for jaehyuk’s birthday this year, he asked for a small gathering, just close friends, which you of course are included in since you and jeongwoo had been together for over 2 years now. when you arrived, you quickly gauged the atmosphere of the party was pretty light and fun, it wasn’t oppressive in the slightest. usually parties you attended were fully kitted out with loud music, dimly lit rooms and a bunch of strangers in every room, instead your friends were in the living room, just chatting and laughing.

“you came!” jaehyuk screeched, running over to hug you. “oh and you bought a plus one, jeongwoo” he joked around with your boyfriend, who just rolled his eyes in response.

it wasn’t long before the boys delved into the games cupboard and pulled out the “who’s most likely to” box. the oldest of the boys shuffled the cards and took the top one which read “who’s the funniest”. whenever you played, this one always seemed to come out first, so you changed your answer every time to please everyone.

you turned around your board with the name “jaehyuk” written on it. your eyes scanned the room to see almost everyone had his name written on their boards, probably because it was his party after all. you quickly diverted your eyes away, however, when you saw that jeongwoo had written your name, which should have made you feel happy but instead, you felt quite guilty for not writing his.

the game went on, and your name wasn’t written on jeongwoo’s board ever again, despite you putting his for almost everything positive. the rest of the evening, jeongwoo didn’t come near you at all, everyone noticed, everyone questioned it, it was so obvious that he was jealous, but there was no way he was admitting to it.

as you got ready to leave, you glanced over at the boy who was supposed to be staying with you tonight, sat firmly in his place on the sofa.

“jeongwoo, aren’t you coming?” you shouted from the door. “jaehyuk is staying here so you don’t have to worry about him” you teased, everyone else smiling at you and giggling silently.

“fine” he grunted. you made up on the way home, he couldn’t even remember how it all started, he just “wanted to make a point” which, sure, he did.

🌍junghwan:

you and junghwan never got to spend much time together before you became friends with the members since he was always with them or at school, which is why he’s never complained or showed any jealousy when you are with them.

today you headed over to their dorms to relax and play when you remembered, today was the day of junghwan’s english exam. you pulled out your phone and dropped him a quick good luck text before continuing your journey.

yoshi brought you up to his room where he said you could chill for a bit since everyone else was still sleeping, other than those who had school of course. yoshi began to ask you lots of questions, you learnt a lot about each other in that hour or so, and the conversation was flowing so well that you didn’t hear the door.

“y/n, you did remember?!” junghwan asked excitedly, clapping his hands while smiling from ear to ear. “you came all the way here to see me after i finished?”

“remember what?” you asked, bewildered. “your exam? yeah i sent you a text, i’m sorry i didn’t realise until i was over half way here else i would have gone to see you first” you confessed, feeling guilty. his face dropped at your honest words.

“you mean you came all the way here just to see yoshi?” he asked. “everyone else was in the kitchen, but you two were in here… alone…?” disappointed in your reasoning and forgetfulness, he slowly backed out of the room. he wanted to cry, but he couldn’t. he wanted to feel sad and upset, but did you really do anything wrong, he thought. “you couldn’t have just turned around and gone home”

“well i didn’t want to, i wanted to see my friends. i didn’t realise that most of them didn’t get up until the afternoon” you walked closer to him, praying that he didn’t try and get away. “i’m sorry i forgot about your exam”

he shuffled closer to you. you’d never argued before, and he wasn’t sure how to respond, so he hoped a hug would go down well. as he hugged you, he whispered his own apology into you hair “i’m sorry for jumping to conclusions”

#treasure #treasure reactions #treasure imagines #asahi #yedam #bang yedam #doyoung #haruto #jeongwoo #junghwan

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hasquetzorkukudoneanythingwrong · 3 years

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FELIZ CUMPLEAÑOS!!!!

Rex and Quetzalcoatl had a pair of twins that they cared for very much. A girl named Maria, and a boy named Eduardo.

The twins were born on the 25th of September, and that date had arrived so it was time to celebrate their birthday!

In the morning, Mari was peacefully asleep.

Mari: *SNOOOOOOORE!*

Quetz, softly: mijaaaaaaa....

Mari: mmm....!

Quetz: mijaaaaaaa.....!

Mari, sleepily: mama..... I wanna..... sneeeeep......!

Quetz: but mija, it's your birthday today....!

Mari: hmmm.....

Quetz: did you hear me, mija?

Mari: *grumble* ok..... *sigh* I'm getting up already.

Mari got up, still very tired.

Mari: Da hell's my glasses?

Quetz handed her her glasses.

Mari: gracias....

Quetz: you should probably hurry, everyone else is already getting ready.

Mari: who the hell is everyone else?

Quetz: just the rest of the family.

Mari: hmmmm.... okay...... was worried I'd have to deal with a party.....

Quetz: don't worry, we know you don't enjoy those. It'll be just the family.

Mari: good....

After some time getting ready, Maria went out into the living room.

Mari, while yawning: ok.... how long will it take to get there again?

Rex: uh... not too long, maybe an hour or so on the serpent.

Ed: still crazy how fast he can be.

Quetz: well of course my familiar would be fast! It'd be a bit disappointing otherwise.

After a bit of time getting ready, the family went outside to see Quetz's pterosaur outside ready to go!

Quetz: ok everyone! Get on!

The family got onto the large flying reptile.

Rex: ok then. Now just a simple invisibility spell so we're not spotted on our way there.

Ed: radar won't work either right?

Rex: right, I've got everything covered, Mijo.

After that, the beast took off!

After some time in the air, their destination was in sight: Mexico City!

Ed: wow!

Mari: such a massive city.

Quetz: ah, it's been too long since we've been here.

Finally the pterosaur landed and they got off to go out into the city!

Rex: man, this place brings back memories!

Ed: so, where to first anyways?

Quetz: it's up to you guys

Mari: breakfast!

Rex: ok yeah, should probably eat first

*stomachs were growling*

The family went to a nice restaurant for their breakfast.

Quetz: mija, those are a lot of pancakes...

Mari: si, and?

Rex: your mother is just a bit concerned for you is all.

Mari: hmmm, sounds unnecessary.

Rex: also Ed, is that enough bacon?

Ed: hmmm.... maybe.

After breakfast, there were still many things that could be done.

First thing, was visiting the old site of Teotihuacan.

Quetz: *sigh* it's been a very long time.....

Mari: looks kinda.... decrepit.

Rex: kinda par for the course with old ruins and shit.

Ed: ....is there a ball court?

Quetz: si, but I doubt we're allowed to play these days.

Ed: awww....

Next stop, was the Aquarium.

Mari: Shork

Ed: Shork

Rex: ya real fascinated by those sharks huh?

Quetz: don't ya wanna see the penguins?

Ed: Penguins?!?!

Rex: also piranhas.

Mari: PIRANHAS?!?!?!

Next was the Zoo

Rex: mi corazon, it's just a random Jaguar. There's no need to cause a scene.

Quetz: I CAN SEE MY STUPID BROTHER TAUNTING ME THROUGH IT'S EYES!!!!

Mari: Mamá, not every Jaguar is Tio Tez.

Ed: we're gonna get kicked out if you don't stop.....

Rex: really hope there aren't any spiders too.

Another fun site, was the museum.

Ed: so..... this is Piedra del Sol?

Quetz: si

Mari: but... so is your noble phantasm?

Quetz: si

Ed: ....how does that work?

Rex: don't ask too many questions about this kinda stuff. You'll get it eventually.

Finally, it was getting a bit late. So it was time to return home.

Mari: we getting the presents now?!?!?

Rex: si, si. You relax will ya?

Ed: you already know she can be a bit greedy.

Quetz: it's better that you try to relax that, Mija.

When they finally got home, a Large assortment of presents were waiting for them.

Mari: Hell yeah!

Ed: hmmmmmm......

Mari: let's see.... which one first....

Mari first grabbed one with.... very unique wrapping, eyes and other odd things decorated the paper.

When she unwrapped it, what was inside was a plush wolf

Mari: AAAWWW!!!

Ed, opening a similar box, got a plush Narwhal.

Ed: oooooh!

And the horn started to glow

Ed: huh

Rex: ....that's a sword

Quetz: it's definitely a sword

Mari: also, my plush smells poisonous.

Rex: well.... that's par for the course for your Tia Quinny.

Next were.... slot machines?

Ed: so we just... pull them?

Quetz: I guess so?

The twins pull the levers of the slot machines.

The machines spun their slots for a time, until finally stopping on 3 symbols that looked like present boxes. Then out of the machines, popped out tickets for both kids.

Mari: oh

Ed: huh

From Mari's popped out VIP tickets to a Music Festival.

Mari: POG

And from Ed's popped out, a soccer season pass.

Ed: oh word?!

And finally, matching tickets for the two, for "5 hours of use of the Mooncell" from BB

Mari: ......

Ed: .......

Quetz: well that sure is.... interesting.

After that, was another box. Wrapped in blue wrapping paper. The two unwrapped it, and inside were two gecko eggs. Along with incubators and everything necessary to raise lizards. With a lil tag saying "from Calamity" (Chalchiuhtlicue)

Mari: LIZARD

Ed: they're cute!

Next were two VERY big gifts wrapped in bone patterned wrapping.

Mari: gimme!

After Mari unwrapped the gift, what she found was a VERY large obsidian Hammer.

Mari: ah hell yeah!

SLAM

Ed: damn.... ok.

For Ed, was a large Obsidian Club.

Ed: oh fuck, ok.

Rex: there a reason Xolotl decided to give such gifts?

Quetz: good question.....

Then a very deep and loud *CROAK* was heard

Ed: FROGE

Then hopping out, was a very VERY large bullfrog. About a foot and a half in length!

Ed: OH HE'S A LARGE LAD!

Mari: damn.

Rex: mija, look behind that tree.

Mari: hmm?

When Mari looked, she saw a Huge car! Modeled after the Batmobile!

(Tho, with bat theming replaced with skulls)

Mari: HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!

After latching onto the car, Mari was very happy.

Mari: finally.......! I can drive!

Quetz: can we trust her with that?

Rex: we'll play it by ear.

And in a small package near the center of the pile. Was a first aid kit, with a note.

"Happy birthday you two, hope you enjoy the car and frog. And don't forget to stay safe with the first aid kit love, Florence, Julius and Eva."

Mari: awwww.....

Ed: so sweeet....

There were many other presents from friends and family alike, more toys, clothes, even laptops too.

Then it was finally time for Rex and Quetz's presents for the kids.

Boom

Mari: the hell?

Then, out of the trees of the nearby jungle, came a large animal. A dinosaur known as Giganotosaurus.

Mari: oh...!

The creature stomped up to the family, until it stopped in front of Mari.

Mari: holy crap.....

Rex: now you have your own divine familiar too, Mija!

Mari: oh shit!

Quetz: si, wasn't sure why you didn't get one the same time as Ed's Pliosaur, but now we got you one!

Mari: finally!

Quetz: and for Mijo, it may not be as big. But since you already got your Pliosaur. We got you this instead.

In Quetz's hands, was what looked to be an electric eel. Tho it glittered with green sparkles, not unlike that of jade.

Ed: whoa, he's an odd lil guy.

Rex: he's very special too. He's not just any electric eel. But a divine construct at that!

Quetz: si, his name is Onotlachin. The storm fish.

Ed: hot damn!

Ed held the lil guy in his hands, and felt the energy within the fish. It also seemed perfectly fine without water.

Ed: he's amazing, gracias!

Mari: si! Gracias for this!

Rex: no problem you two!

Quetz: si, anything for mis hijos!

A/N: and there's the birthday story. Sorry it came out a bit late. Things happened irl. Hopefully everyone likes it! And the festivities can still continue on throughout the weekend and even longer if anyone wants to celebrate with us.

Tags

@hasbbdoneanythingwrong @havetheavengersdoneanythingwrong @hasspartacusdoneanythingwrong @haskamadoneanythingwrong @exmeowstic @grievouslyxorvia @panyum @witch-of-chaldea @chaldeamage-neo @hasnightingaledoneanythingwrong @renmeo @writer-and-artist27

#fate grand order #quetzalcoatl #wife #mastersona #rex #rexcoatl #kids bday #eduardo #maria

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des-shinta · 5 years

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So As I’ve been in a state of burnout for a significant sect of the year, I’ve been picking up number of Bandai models to relieve my stress, since building things I find a relaxing endeavor, and they’ve been making me feel better.

(no, most of these were not built this year. Only 7 of them in the first picture were ‘new’. The rest are bits and pieces of my older collection I’ve happily been able to unbox and display for the first time in years. Also: Hi Zoids models that didn’t get enough love during their release tenure!) I’ve actually been building models and Figures for years and years--I started out Heavily as A Lego kid--and since Gundam Wing Aired on Toonami in the late 90′s I’ve infrequently bought bandai’s various models as well, but most of the ones I built back then were...well, demolished by my younger step-brother. My first ones were low-grade 1/144′s ToysRUs’ Got back in that boom, and they weren’t sturdy at all, thus had no chance to survive.

They’ve since been replaced with all MG’s from that series. Well, except for that 1/100 scale HG Altron that was first released in 1996. that P-Bandai one is stupid expensive, and Altron’s Endless waltz Redesign is the only one of them I OUTRIGHT hate. It was around 2005-ish when I got into it again, when my parents got me for Christmas the 1/60 perfect Grade RX-78-2. It took me about Eight hours to build and I did it all in one sitting...but it wasn’t sturdy at all. It couldn’t even lift its arm if the rifle was in it, it wouldn’t stay up. All I had it do was just stand there...Menacingly.

So from there on out--with the rare exception--I started to intermittently find and get as Gifts ones from the 1/100 Master Grade line. THOSE--for the most part depending on what types of hands the figure uses and how well they even hold weapons--have been more my jam despite their 50~ish dollar price point. Large enough they’re not easily smashed, small enough that they’re pose-able and easy to display, and with enough Complexity in their construction with the various implemented gimmicks to give me an immense feeling of satisfaction to see them done and on Display. Yeah, there’s a LOT more variety and accessories to be found in the 1/144′s these days--in part thanks to the Gundam Build Fighters series making customization even easier than ever between that scale’s market--but I just don’t get the same thing out of them, despite only about 6 or less MG kits being made a year, with some of them being Shunted off now to Premium Bandai’s services to become stupidly overpriced for what they are and what’s supplied...even though I DO have a few P-bandai ones as well. Stupid obsession with the Astrays, Tallgeese III, and Form/Equipment change gimmicks...

Hell, I’ve even experimented from time to time with custom Color palletes, with one of the first to get that treatment being the sword Impulse that desperately needed more contrasting colors (also thank aura that bandai’s finally releasing the Blast Impulse MG...even if it IS P-bandai so the display isn’t oddly missing a mech). I’ve got the MG of the Sengoku Astray still in its box (with a bunch of other Gundam seed Mechs I haven’t build yet ‘cause I adore Gundam Seed’s mecha design and will be using those to unwind between overtime shifts this December) and when I build it, I’m going to repaint all its red parts yellow to Give the Gundam that kind of resembles Kamen Rider Gaim’s Kachidoki arms the full Kachidoki color treatment. Think I have Enough spare pieces from wrecked stuff to try building it a Custom Tanigashima “DJ Gun” Rifle to go with it as well.

Also the Gunpla hobby led me to doing the papercrafting thing for cheap-to-make Figurines or accessories or even scale props like the scaled-to-figure Gurren Lagann Giga drill pictured above, which I’ve moved onto doing custom templates for on occasion--

--case in point, the 1:1 scale pepakura Pandora Box--

--And my Gate of Ouroboros Broadsword which was a papercraft template I mapped onto Foam to get it near-damn-perfect...after I made a MK 2 of the original ‘cause the original ended up way too heavy. I can basically trace a lot of my fun crafting stuff to being inspired by the creativity that goes into this kind of thing, and the work of other crafters and cosplayers, and then seeking to try applying that myself from all my learned habits.

But outside of the expected Gunpla you can find in Hobby stores and...for some reason Barnes and Nobles, which has retained a market throughout that time despite Bandai of America’s Idiocy thanks to bluefin Distributions, I’ve started tracking down some of bandai’s other model offerings. Specifically, the Figurise standard and Minipla lines.

For those not in the know, Super Minipla’s are basically model kit versions of previously released mecha toys, only with a far smaller scaling from their DX Counterparts which you then build yourself. They seek to retain all of the originals play gimmicks where possible, but come off a LOT more pose-able by their end than the DX toy bricks. Featured above is the Minipla of the Super Galaxy Mega (Astro Delta Megazord) From Denji Sentai Megaranger/Power Rangers in Space. and this thing is *PERFECT*. Despite it being half the size of the DX toy, it retains *EVERY* single play feature the original had (transformation, combination, weapon accessories, the works), but has fully pose-able limbs in every single part of it. The freaking thing cost me $80 when back in 1998 the DX toy versions cost a total of $60, and yet factor for inflation and the impossibility of re-aquiring the 20-year-old vintage toys and this thing was *SO* worth it to get back my second-favorite sentai/PR Mech.

Hell, it’s not just the DX toys they compete against. On the Right is the Super Robot Chogokin Gaogaigar with Goldion Hammer, and on the left is the Minipla figure of the same mech and weapon. Both actually retailed for around the same price points on release, but there’s a more distinct compare and contrast between them. The SRC one has better paint apps, is constructed on a metal frame and has metal parts all over it, has distinct limb joints and proper articulation with a screen-accurate scale structure to it and has some weight to it so isn’t likely to topple over easily. Frankly of the two...it just looks better in person. Whereas the super minipla, while not perfectly in scale and doesn’t have the brilliance of the colorization to help it, Retains the transformation and combination gimmicks of the original toys which give it a lot more value to collectors that can’t afford the Full DX figures which bear the same. Its Joints are also a LOT Tighter so the feet and arms aren’t likely to slip, and while not as good as the SRC, the screen-accuracy is far better than the original Takara-based DX toys or even the later Bandai remakes of them after Bandai bought the rights from Takara. And with the right hand and hammer being a hell of a lot lighter, when I get this thing on a display stand it’ll be able to do more than just stand with the hammer planted on the ground.

The Figurise standard line instead is a model kit version of an anime/live series action Figure--Mostly limited to Dragonball and Kamen Rider figures right now But Digimon ones for the line are coming soon-- with them ending up in competition with Bandai’s SH Figuarts High-quality-Figure line, albeit with a lower Pricepoint than the SHF since you make it yourself and some of the paint apps are replaced with stickers, and their ease of mass production makes them more available than the SHF’s by comparison. Sorry I don’t have the best picture of the figure on hand, but for those not familiar with the character, it’s the Pink/Neon green/black-colored character that’s surrounded by Gundams (the pic was taken in the midst of a bedbug crisis where we were packing everything up in our apartment so it wouldn’t end up damaged) The Character is Kamen Rider Ex-aid action gamer Level 2, and up close it’s near indistinguishable from the SHF for the character. And yet...I kind of felt like I got more out of the FRS figure than the sole SHF I have, simply because I put my time into putting it all together. Yeah, the markings are stickers instead of painted on, but if those fade or start peeling? I can paint-app it myself. It has all the details I want, it moves how I want it to, and it came with a great stand for it to be placed in a fantastic jumping pose. I actually want to find more of those for Kamen Rider Figures from the series I like, as I think it’d be better than dealing with the SHF’s which...well, depending on the figure? Are notorious for production line issues. while some models can have loose joints or frail pieces (which can be fixed with an easy application of super glue. And any other scratches, chips and imperfections? Yeah, those will be my fault, and won’t result in me feeling as if I got gyped in the purchase.

Sadly though, these figures aren’t exactly created equal. On a limb I picked up the super minipla Shin getter robo set After My Roommate showed by GR Armageddon and we loved it; and...Eeeehh. They’re not terrible, but they’re lacking for the expectation I had with the Minipla’s. I think Kaiyodo’s Revoltech Figure line did better with these guys--out of print as may of those figures are now. Black Getter 1 (Left) actually does look great with the Ragged cape and gun and razor arm...but the ball joints It, Getter Dragon (center) and Shin getter 1 (right) are constructed with do NOT like to stay together. I can’t pose them at all without risking them toppling over or falling apart. I think the Revoltech ones are bigger as well, making for better display pieces than these guys who’d be beaten out by 1/144′s.

hell, this mazinger Z Model was a 1/144, and it’s in scale with the Master grades. ...Mazinger mechs be big. But that brings us to a more recent addition via Tsuburaya and Studio Trigger.

One of the newer Additions to the minipla Line has been the Gridman figures, thanks to the anime series SSSS Gridman putting that franchise back on people’s Radar. I had Gridman’s toys (when the series was imported and adapted into the series Superhuman samurai Syber Squad) when I was a kid and adored them...

..and sure enough, when I built the Thunder Gridman one, it was like popping back to a little piece of my childhood. Same play gimmicks to them, and while the scaling is not the same, the engineering is all there to invoke the proper good pieces of nostalgia. To the point it resulted in the best thing about these guys, and It almost didn’t happen. When SSSS Gridman was airing, I ended up enjoying myself so much by its end I jumped at the chance to preorder the DX mecha figures that Good Smile company was releasing. Unfortunately, the seller turned out to be a con-artist, and never shipped me the figure...though i did get my money back thanks to buyer protection. I saw vid’s on it, and it looked pretty good...but it was completely out of scale and reasonable relation with the old Gridman Toys. So when I heard about the Minipla’s going out for a lot less than the DX’s original and jacked-up price points? I put in an order with someone I knew who was reliable for these...and really, I should’ve done so from the start.

The super Minipla Gridman Figures...are all perfectly in scale with each-other, and share all the same connection ports. I can put the SSSS Gridman Figures into the older Gridman armors. That’s Primal Fighter Gridman wearing the Thunder Gridman armor (right). Hell, I can swap the arms of the Gridman figures so the effect components can be put in the older ones as well as they use common components across the board in their construction. I think in the future I’m going to put PFGridman in the king armor (left) as well, as the SSSS-Gridman figure has slightly Longer legs which would make the King Gridman armor scale better. Because of this, I ended up a lot happier with these guys that I would likely have been trying in vain to get another decently-priced DX one, or even the Actbuilder release of the SSSSG Stuff that did scale with the minipla’s. So Bottom line? I really like models, they help me relax, and I’ve been discovering some cool stuff this year that Bandai’s done which I wouldn’t have if I weren’t trying to find a way to vent stress. Thank you disposable $16+ an hour Income for making such possible.

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lefttigerobservation · 2 years

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🦀, 🤔?

crab: A favourite piece of dialogue. (took a long, long search! here is one of my current longstanding favourites.)

“You have the subtlety of an anvil, Kit,” she remarks softly, like she’s not entirely sure they want her to acknowledge they’re speaking. It seems so foreign to be talking in hushed tones, even in a place filled with intimate gossip.

“Refreshing?” They’re already burying the thought in the flute, their second tonight. Go down well, they pray but smile at the thought.

“You could say that,” she says. “Why’re you here, if I may ask? Nikita found you a spot in a coveted gala to dress you in… this?”

“It’s a Tadashi Shoji. Might have been a sole motivator.”

“Oh, of course, it is.” This in a tone like she’s planning her own funeral before she gives them the briefest of once-overs, and her head shakes; nothing at all like Mr Sweater Vest. “You look good.”

That… that shouldn’t make them feel like that. Shit, they must be starved for attention, even in a room full of it. Whatever. This room is full, point-blank. Full of everything.

“Uh, thank you. So do you.”

She scoffs, smiling a little wider anyway, downing the last of what appears to be a sophisticated vodka soda. “I heard you got yourself into a brawl.”

“Oh my— When?”

“Couple of days ago. Seems my apprentice is not too shabby at keeping her head down?”

“She may have thrown a punch once, and then said punch did land. What can I say? I don’t blame her for the chaos that ensued, but I’m glad I wasn’t there.”

She frowns at that. “Thought you would’ve been the first to break it up.”

“We’d… Courtney,” they explain, and she gives half a nod, which makes them realise she still doesn’t know much at all. “I did, however, nearly get rammed into by a white man in a galaxy cat t-shirt.”

“What?” Zephyr barely contains her laughter, absolutely dumbfounded. “In what world—”

“Hey,” they say, with a small shrug, “he honked at me. Tried to cut in front without an indicator so I just, y’know, sped up. Glad I’m alive.”

“Please tell me you didn’t win the fight.”

“What, you wanted him to win?”

“They’re already going through it.” She wrinkles her nose and her face lights up. There’s a certain relaxation in the lean into her hip, the gentle way she holds the tumbler as the breeze sifts through and rustles her hair. These are the moments they understand why she likes capturing every moment, no matter how small. “I swear if you win a fight against another grown man in a galaxy cat t-shirt I will personally compensate you.”

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Colour me stoked for another incident,” she says cheekily, before smiling in such a mischievous way they nearly let themself be an accomplice. “I’ll catch you later, okay?”

(sorry for the length! enjoy the oblivious loves of my life.)

l-confused face (fun fact! this means lesbian in ASL): what was the inspiration for your wip?

this is such a chaotic question to answer, and at times, i feel a bit silly with what this novel now means (so MUCHness) to me. it started off with me reading a fanfiction about a photographer falling for a model they'd worked with— only, not the same story whatsoever. it sparked the first scene of TFG and i'm forever grateful to it. sometimes i'll read the first two chapters when i'm feeling like it <3 as well as that, i'd been itching to write a wholeheartedly queer pairing with a significant age gap that didn't actively feel horrible & wasn't involving a shitty power dynamic, but painting them as clear equals. which is how i ended up writing zephyr! and then, slowly but surely, lucille came to fruition and MY WORD these characters mean more to me than i can physically, mentally, emotionally even describe. TLDR: TFG was born(e) from a fanfiction i read, and after wanting to write a positive age-gap queer pairing, this thing now exists and is bordering a solid 300,000 words. <3

thank you so much for this ask, jay! i had a lot of fun remembering just why i made this book <3

tagging: @leah-stoloff because i never did tell you this story. my biggest love to you, my sweet.

#tfg #tfg excerpts #brightbluesubaru #asks #blue rants #ask games #!!!

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nelliievance · 3 years

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Getting Started With Biking

I gave some advice about this in a previous post, but that was four years ago and there are some updates, especially about choosing the right bike. There’s been a lot of innovation and growth in the bike industry, so an update is in order.

Traffic Fear:-A major barrier for most people to biking outside is fear of motor vehicle traffic. Understandably so, it’s not comforting to share the road with heavy fast-moving vehicles. If we can’t overcome this barrier, we may as well stick to talking about indoor cycling. But there are ways to get past it:

People feel much safer on paths separated from traffic. If you’re fortunate enough to have those in your area, but don��t have a good route to get to them, you can always chuck your bike in the trunk or on a rack and drive to the start. I had friends who love to ride on our Coyote Creek trail but did not feel safe on the street so would just drive to the start of the trail. That’s a great way to start out. They’ve since moved further north, but if they were still here I’d have tried to also coax them out onto some of the safe pleasant streets of Morgan Hill they were missing out on.

Residential neighborhoods often have quieter traffic because drivers are careful about children that may be playing.

If you’re biking for any other reason other than commuting, it is much better at any other time than morning and evening rush hours. There are fewer vehicles and the drivers are more courteous and relaxed.

If you use bike lanes, and they are not as well thought out as the ones in Amsterdam or Copenhagen, you feel safe except at intersections. The issue of right-turning vehicles is the main one. This is less of an issue in my area because the bike lanes become dotted lines and often turn green, which alert both drivers and cyclists to the situation. Drivers will carefully look for bikes before merging into this turn lane. This is again much better at all times but rush hour, during which there can be aggravated and distracted drivers.

You can map out safe and pleasant routes with your car first and then later use them for bike outings. I feel safe riding on pretty much any road in my town, but some are a lot more pleasant than others. When I ride in our larger and busier neighbor to the north, San Jose, I stick to streets that I know are quieter and/or have well-designed bike lanes.

Choosing the right bike:

There are by now a bewildering amount of choices, and the advent of fairly lightweight electric bikes has added some other new alternatives. It is nice to see all this innovation for bikes geared towards us “regular” folks. Those that want high-end performance bikes have plenty of options, too, but they can find their own way. I want to help guide through the large array of choices for the rest of us. I gave some guidance on basic choices of bike types and comfort issues such as saddle design in a previous post. But there’s been rapid innovation in the four years since I wrote that. I happen to live in the town which has the World Corporate headquarters of Specialized bikes, and my great local bike shop is a Specialized dealer, so I’m a fan of them, so forgive me if I use them more in my examples. There are many worthy competitive brand like Giant, Trek, Cannondale, etc.

As a newcomer looking at comfortable and inexpensive bikes, there are more options. What was originally considered a comfort bike was a hybrid of road and mountain bikes. But now there are “plush” road bikes, such as the Specialized Roubaix, that have more relaxed geometry and work on rougher roads, and there is a new “gravel” bike category of bikes that can handle even rougher terrain. Technology from these bikes is trickling down to lower end bikes.

A good piece of now-mature technology is hydroformed aluminum, which allows lightweight, inexpensive, but attractive aluminum frames to be prevalent. And good quality carbon frames have also come down in price.

A really good piece of tech that is much more prevalent and inexpensive is disk brakes. These have better stopping power, even in the wet, but add little weight. And they allow much wider tires to be used. My Sirrus has 38 mm tires on it, that allow me to go on some seriously rough surfaces, but it still rolls fast enough on the roads so I can keep up on group rides. But just by getting a spare set of narrower road oriented tires, and adding on some inexpensive clip-on aerobars, I could easily make it faster on the road if I wanted to do a time trial. This versatility without breaking the bank is nice, and disk brakes make it possible. You can get a quality lightweight bike with disk brakes and decent components new for about US $800.

Example of an good lightweight inexpensive hybrid bike- Specialized Sirrus 2.0

I mentioned “crank forward” bikes like the Electra Townie in my previous post. These are a great option for beginners, because you can put your feet on the ground without getting off the saddle so it feels more secure. Trek has acquired Electra and has kept this line quite active. There are also many good electric assist versions of Townies now.

By far the biggest change has been the surge in popularity of electric bikes. Manufacturers have also done a great job of smoothly integrating elecric-assistinto the frame design. And now local bike shops will enthusiastically support them. I especially like the advent of more lightweight ebikes like the Specialized “SL” series. These are not as powerful as some of the larger heavier motors, but plenty good enough to do the job. I like the Specialized concept of “2X you”: The lighter weight motors can match your power up to one hundred percent. So when you’re riding it feels suddenly like you’re twice as powerful. These are still not feather-weight Tour de France bikes, but can get down below 30 lbs. total weight for the bike. That’s reasonable to lift onto a bike rack or into a trunk, which many of my local group of older riders routinely do. These bikes allow riders of widely varying abilities to ride together. Some have regular bikes, some have ebikes and use less assist, and some use more assist. The great equalizer. The main problem with these bikes is still price. They’re getting better, so you can get a name brand model starting about US$3000, but that still high for a lot of people. It’s a lot more affordable if you’re using it instead of a car, though.

Support for electric bikes is of major importance, and that is covered nicely if you buy a name brand at a bike shop, they’ll take good care of it for you. It is a reason I would not recommend getting an add-on electric assist kit unless you have someone locally that can work on it or are clever enough to work on the electrics yourself. My electric assist kit served me well for two years, I had fun, and put lots of miles on it. Then I started to have issues, and my local bike shop, and others in the area, did not want to touch it, and I had bought it from someone fifty miles away. I tried fixing it myself and was unsuccessful. An ebike may well be in my future when I need help keeping up, but I’ll only do it when I can get it from a local shop.

Example of the clean look of modern electric bikes. A factory Trek Alliant 8s, left, vs my Trek hybrid with a kit.

I have found a good website with bike information and reviews for various bike categories, which I recommend trying out. This site has good reviews of various bikes, and some nice rider stories.

Comfort Issues

There hasn’t been too much change in this area since my previous post. The most important point is that there is a tradeoff between comfort and speed. A lot of changes to make your position on the bike more aerodynamic also make you more “hunched over”. I’m to the point where upright and comfortable is more important these days, as long as I can keep up on group rides. But electric assist gets rid of this trade-off. You can be as upright as you like, kick in with a little assist, and be just as fast.

And there is always the option of a recumbent. I’d recommend trying out a nice upright setup on a hybrid, including a crank-forward one like the Townie, first. And give your butt a little time to adjust. I got back into biking after a more than 20 year absence when I got arthritis. I’d been an avid rider, then switched to running, then came back. During that 20 years my butt had completely forgotten that it is ok to be on a saddle. I started out with a decent hybrid and comfortable saddle. On my first ride my butt was whining within 5 minutes. I gutted it out for half an hour, and went home demoralized thinking about selling the bike. But I went out the next time and made it 35 minutes. Within about a week it wasn’t so bad, within two weeks I was fine.

I recommend going through this trial because there is a lot of convenience to having a local bike shop for conventional bikes. If you are lucky enough to have a local recumbent dealer that is a fine option too (mine is over sixty miles away).

But I do love my recumbent, too, and am willing to tinker with it myself to have it as an option. They can be a great comfort choice for cruising around on. One other trade off is they are not the best for riding around town. For example, they’re a bit more awkward starting off on than a conventional bike, which is an issue if you have to stop at traffic signals. If I have an errand to run I grab my hybrid, not my recumbent. But for a long cruise, the recumbent calls to me… If you want to learn more about these, here’s a couple of links:

bentrider online

recumbents

There a lot of different configurations with recumbents, starting with the issue of tricycles vs bicycles. For example, there is short wheelbase (with the cranks out in front of the forks, like mine, or long wheelbase. The former take up less room and are easier to store and transport. The book The Recumbent Bicycle by Gunnar Fehlau, is a great overview. It’s a little dated, from 2004, but you can get the latest details from the two sites above. I think you can see why I recommended a local bike shop and uprights first. Unless you have a local recumbent dealer, recumbents are a rabbit hole you can disappear down (or a fascinating hobby, depending on your point of view).

Easy Racer Long Wheelbase recumbent, a classic, comfortable ride. But try putting that in your trunk. (www.Amazon.com/books)

Getting Started With Biking published first on https://steroidsca.tumblr.com/

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captusmomentum · 7 years

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[ chucks this at @feynites ‘s window tied to a brick with ‘PAY FOR YOUR SINS’ written on it ]

Another hard day at the office was done for Samahllin and now the arduous process of getting through the pickup line and then to everyones after school stuff began. She sat in the passenger side captain’s chair feet on the back of Nehnara’s chair in a futile attempt to bother him, dicking around on her phone. She looked up and through the window at the swarm of evacuating refugees (children) looking for The Urchin.

Inan running at break neck speeds to the minivan was not new, but the manic expression was….. Okay that was also not super new but this was a new one. This one kinda looked like she was a terrified clown trying to keep the charade going so the kids don’t panic.

She snapped a pic.

When Inan made it to the car she slammed open the door with a terrifying strength that no child of that size should have and thrust a card out in front of her and into the minivan nearly clocking Sam in the jaw.

“I GOT INVITED TO A BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!!!!!!!” She announces with unnecessary volume. She didn’t need that ear it’s cool.

Sam takes the damn thing from her hand and looks at the shitty handmade card as Inan gets in closes the door and wiggles her way between Sam and Thenvas’ chairs to the back row. Their mom turns and looks back at her smiling.

“That’s great sweetie! Who’s party is it?”

Inan replies as she squirms around, taking off her backpack and coat which take up the rest of the last row.

“Dirthamen Evanuris’s! He’s in my first period and 2 of my other classes.”

“The weird Omen kid yeah.” Sam remarks duly as she looks over his card.

It reeks of inept nerd and the amount of text is completely embarrassing, it’s a birthday not a wedding for nug’s sake relax kid. The bear in the hat is pretty cool though. Silently she hands the card over to her twin giving him a look. The Dirthamen kid himself seems pretty harmless, classic nerd and all that, but his brother is a little sociopath. It’s great and all that Inan got invited to something but is it ethical to send her if a baby ax murderer is there?

Thenvas meets her gaze, they on the same page there and he takes it from her. He looks over it as he remarks coolly.

“Isn’t his brother the one that got shipped off to a boarding school because he was causing too much trouble?”

Samahllin grins. “Yeah Falon’Din. The prick.”

Their mom, who’d been in the middle of pulling out looks at Sam through the rearview mirror.

“Samahllin! Language”

She just grins and waggles her eyebrows at her before unbuckling her seatbelt so she can sit sideways with her legs in the isle, better to talk to Then and the Twerp.

“D’ya know if he’s gonna be there?”

Inan looks uncertain and a little worried. “No. But he didn’t mention him at all and the card doesn’t anything about him. If he was gonna be there they’d at least say something like ‘bring 2 presents’ right?”

“Hm. Good Point. I know I make a pointa it on our invites n’ stuff, guess it’s just Dirthadude then.”

They’re on their way now, almost free of the black hole of the school zone at pick up time.

“Well I think it’s great you got invited. Is Dirthamen your friend? You’ve never really mentioned him before.”

Inan looks down, biting her lip and picks at the hem of her sweater, she’s done that so much she’s frayed the bottom of the dumb thing. Sam worries about her, you gotta be a lot of nervous to do that kinda damage to knitwear. Maybe their school’s not the right fit for her, She knows that her only friends are them— she doesn’t have like, any non-sibling friends in her class or whatever.

“No. He’s not my friend, he doesn’t really have any I think. But he made a really good temple complex replica for social studies once! It was really cool, he even used that model maker moss stuff and little trees and stuff! I showed it to you at that Parent’s Night thing remember?”

“ Oh yeah! That was Dirthamen’s huh? He sure is a talented little builder!”

Thenvas passes the card up to Nehnara who smiles upon seeing the cover.

“Hey, cool bear! Looks like he’s a good drawer too.”

Her twin copies her move and turns to face the center of the minivan, but leaves his seatbelt on. Coward.

“Any idea who else is going?” he asks.

Inan shakes her head. “Nope but I figure it probably won’t be a lot of people. Probably just his sisters and kids like me or nice ones.”

Then does that humming thing in the back of the throat that makes him sound like a history teacher. So they had no idea who else was invited and no idea of any of them would show up unless they were too nice or too desperate for friends to say no. Sam mentally shot that idea to death. She wasn’t gonna get all bitchy about this and ruin it for Inan, besides if there was something actually wrong with this Dirthanerd she’d know about it already. The other one was the problem and he wasn’t gonna be there. The worst that was probably gonna happen was like, normal party problems, like it sucking or someone puking.

She hisses. “Andruil… My Arch Nemesis…..”

Then gives her a bored look but still raises his eyebrows in mock surprise.

“Oh? She is? I thought it was Toni Hawke this week, what did Andruil do?”

She glares out the window behind him. “Cut me in line on Taco Tuesday, the little twerp.”

“The Horror.” He says flatly, not looking up from his phone. “What a monster.”

Inan giggles behind them and Sam sticks her tongue out at both of her ignorant siblings. They’ll never understand the intricacies of school lunchroom politics. Fools.

Nehn shows the card to their mom at the next red light.

“Oh how cute! What a nice card! He really did put a lot of time into this didn’t he, it’s very good.”

“I know right? Kid’s got skills.”

“It’s at the Zoo? Oh Inanallas, that’ll be so fun!”

“Yeah that’s like, the best part! Real deal maker!”

“I’d feel a little better if I knew who else is going, I’d hate to leave you there all alone…”

Crap! Nice going mom you IDIOT!!!!! Why would you point it out like that????? Sam thinks. Now she’s gonna get all weird about it.

“The invite says you can bring a plus one, I’ll go with her and make sure none of the lions eat her.” Nehn offers, smiling.

“What do you say Innie? Don’t mind your big brother tagging along?”

“Nope!” she chirps in a way the rest of the kids can very clearly tell is forced.

Mom smiles back at her in the rearview mirror with that Mom Look she got when she was superimposing baby them on not-baby them.

“Well sweetheart I think it’s wonderful, it’ll be a great chance to make friends.”

Nehnara passes the card back to Thenvas who then passes it back to Inanallas who looks down at it intensely, expression mixed.

Mom finally notices that she and Then are sitting in their seats wrong yells at them to sit in them properly and they all get back to business as usual, with Inan in the back becoming an increasing black cloud of anxiety, fear and doubt. Which was, frustratingly, also business as usual.

It’s after dinner when everyone’s off doing their own things that lil Innie comes up to him while he’s doing the dishes looking like she’s on the brink of tears. Hoooooo boy. Here we go.

“Hey Inzo what’s up?”

He keeps it light— enough she doesn’t choke, but not enough she’ll think he didn’t notice how upset she is. It’s hard but there’s a balance that you need to get her to talk when she’s like this, otherwise she clams up. It’s like the two of you have to trick the problem into thinking it’s a homework question and not cry for help. He’s probably the only one who’s managed it so far, Then and Sam are just bulls in a china shop and Mom and Dad are well, Mom and Dad.

“I don’t think I should go to the party…”

“Aw c’mon, I think you totally should. It’ll be fun!”

“But Mom’s right! It’ll be a bunch of strangers and I’ll be all alone and they’ll all think I’m weird like everyone else at school does! Dirthamen and them don’t even talk to me! They hate me!”

“They don’t hate you. They just don’t know you. It sounds like Dirthamen’s a pretty shy kid and he invited other kids he thought were shy and stuff like him. Best chance for him to make some friends now that he’s not getting bullied every day by his brother don’t you think? He must want to be your friend if he invited you, it’d be kind of a waste of his time if he didn’t you know?”

He puts down the pot in his hands and moves on to the next one. She rocks a little on her feet, her hands balled up that her chest and anxiously fiddling with their sleeve cocoons.

“But what if I get there and he talks to me and hates me and all the other kids hate me too! Or the parents don’t or they’re mean! What if the party is really bad or scary! What if I have a panic attack or something!”

“That’s why I’m gonna go with you. If things are going good then I just hang back and eat all the snacks while you party hardy. If things look bleak then you give me the high sign and we blow that popsicle stand and goof off in the Zoo for a while or if you’re really upset we go right home and watch movies and eat ice cream. Can’t lose.”

“Promise?”

“Double Super Promise. The second it looks like it’s gonna suck we’ll bust out.”

Looks like the promise of immediate assured escape has saved the day again as usual. She relaxes a bit and puts her arms on the counter then her head on them. A groan emerges from her arm cave.

“I don’t even know what to get him…”

“You said he built a cool thing for school right? Well what about a book or something on it? Or—hey yeah! What about a model kit? Those are super cool. If he likes making stuff he’ll love that!”

“You think?”

“Totally.”

“What if he doesn’t like it?”

Nehn shrugs as he puts the last pot down to dry and cleans up after himself. “Blame me.”

“Seriously?”

He grins and waggles his eyebrows. “What are siblings for if not blaming?”

She laughs a little and stands up straight again. He with all the speed and strength of an oldest brother he picks up all 4-something of her and flips her upside down in his grip with practiced ease. She squawks and flails wildly, which is broken up by her laughter and demands to be put down as he carries her to the living room.

“Enough dumb stuff Inzorino! Let’s watch some bad tv!”

#vague modern au #this is all working off the idea that inan and dirth and such are in middle school #so then and sam are either end of middle school or start of high school #and nehn is a highschooler #inan is the classic Intensely Anxious Kid #she'll probably end up getting dirthamen a model kit of something cool or a book on the supernatural (or both)#i was writing chap 4 of amd saw the Thing and immediately imagined inan running to the minivan screaming about being invited to a party #so i was like 'welp guess i'm gonna take a break from this 2 write this other thing!!!!'

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spartanguard · 7 years

Text

waxing poetic on chest hair removal

modern AU in which Emma works in a salon and Killian is her client, in for a bit of reluctant manscaping (mermen don’t have chest hair, after all). but it eventually grows back. and then...stuff happens. (definitely rated M!) (somewhat based off of prompts that @thesschesthair and @bleebug posted/rcvd; and thanks to @xpumpkindumplingx for looking it over!) 6.9k | AO3 | ff.net

happy happy happy happy HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE SWEETEST COCONUT ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH, @cocohook38!!!! I hope your day is as wonderful as you are, darling!

“Hey, Tink; what’s my next appointment?”

“Your favorite: manscaping in Room 2.”

“Thanks.” Emma winked at the receptionist, washed her hands, and headed to the room where her next client waited. She was always professional, but one perk to working in a salon that offered waxing was the attention she got to lavish to the chests, abs, and other parts of some very attractive customers. True, she had to be almost clinical at times, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t still look.

There were some days she did curse her job, particularly when she had an itch that needed scratching (or when it led to that itch in the first place), but she always managed to resist slipping her phone number in with the post-waxing care materials, lest they lose a customer.

However, when she opened the door to Room 2 and saw the man leaning against the table, Emma knew right away that this was going to be the hardest client to resist...and she honestly wouldn’t mind if he never sought their services again.

She had seen chest hair of all kinds before—thick, thin, dark, light, a small amount, and an obscene amount.

But this guy? It was somehow...perfect: thicker near the center of the chest, tapering out over his well-developed pecs, and then drawing a dark, thin line down the center of his toned stomach, disappearing into his low-slung dark-wash jeans.

And he wanted it gone? For the first time ever, she kind of hated her job if she was supposed to rid the world of that beauty.

The owner of said glorious chest hair cleared his throat; Emma blushed immediately, realizing she’d been staring. “My eyes are up here, love,” he said, in a teasing tone and enticing accent.

Looking at his face was probably Emma’s next mistake; of course, someone with a body like that would have a face to match. Dark, disheveled hair hung in bright blue eyes that were accented by curiously cocked eyebrows; sharp cheekbones sat above an equally chiseled jaw, which was covered in gingery scruff that currently featured an amused dimple as a result of his full-lipped, sideways smile.

“Hi. Sorry. Um, I’m Emma; I’ll be taking care of you today.” She gingerly stepped forward, offering the man her hand and trying to focus only on his eyes, though even that was a challenge in keeping her composure.

He took her hand and shook firmly but gently. “Killian. Should I be flattered, or do you give all customers such an assessment?”

Emma didn’t have a response for that—not one that wasn’t incredibly embarrassing—so she plowed on into her normal spiel, hoping the routine of it would calm her down. “You’re in for waxing, right?”

“Aye, chest and abs.”

“Have you ever had this done before?”

“No, never.”

“I can tell.” Oh shit—she shouldn’t have said that, and immediately slapped her hand over her mouth. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry.”

To her relief, he just chuckled. “It’s alright. But yeah, never; is that a problem?”

“No, but I’ve gotta let you know: it’s not gonna feel great. Do you want any anaesthetic?”

“Eh, I’ve survived worse,” he said with a shrug, holding up his left arm and gesturing to where it ended, at his wrist—ouch. “Um, but you wouldn’t mind if I numbed the pain with something else, would you?”

“Like?”

He smirked—a devilish thing that sent a jolt of heat straight to certain parts of her—and watched as he walked over to where his leather jacket was strewn across a chair (and she totally did not stare at the way his jeans fit around his rear end...okay, she did). He fished around for a bit—giving her plenty of opportunity to gaze at the dark hair dusted across his sinfully sinewy forearms—before producing an old-fashioned flask and popping the cork on it. “Rum alright?”

It probably wasn't, but she found herself nodding anyways.

“Good.” He winked and took a couple pulls before slipping it back in his coat and coming back to the upholstered table. “So, how does this work?”

She managed to mentally shake herself from her stupor enough to explain the process, and hardly a minute seemed to pass until he was laying on the table, unbuttoning his jeans for full access to where her services were needed. “Just leave me balls alone,” he'd requested with a grin; her own smile was forced—those boxer briefs left nothing to the imagination, and she'd never been sadder to not have to do a full wax, as time-consuming and delicate as it could be.

Reluctantly, she started the process of removing his hair, thinning the thicker sections with an electric trimmer while the wax prepped.

As she worked, he seemed to tense, even though she hadn't gotten to the tough stuff yet. His eyes were shut, with his long lashes laying against his cheeks and his brow slightly furrowed. Waxing was no walk in the park even for people used to it, and Emma could read all the signs that despite his initial bravado, he was nervous.

She (sadly) disposed of the clippings, then put on her gloves and got the warmed wax and other materials.

Despite warning him that she was starting, he still jumped when she brushed the first bit of wax on, carefully avoiding his nipple. Thankfully, Emma had a tried-and-true method to get her clients to relax.

“So, if you don't mind my asking, why did you decide to get a wax? For your girlfriend or something?”

(Her method was also pretty handy in getting to know this follically blessed man.)

It worked. He cracked a smile and chuckled. “No, there isn't one of those.” (Score, she thought.) “It’s for a friend. You know those fancy mermaid tails that cost a fortune?”

“Yeah; they're amazing.” She'd spent more than one break hour staring at various Instagram accounts full of those, daydreaming.

“Aye, they are. My friend makes them, and her normal male model is unavailable right now, so she asked me to fill in for next weekend.”

“And you can't have chest hair for that?”

“Apparently not.”

“What about your arms?”

“She didn’t say—ahh!” She pulled the first chunk once he'd finally let his guard down and pressed her hand against his now-smooth skin as he hissed. He opened his eyes just enough to glare at her. “Warn a man, would you?”

“And let you get more worked up? No way.”

“Fair enough,” he agreed resignedly. “Bloody hell, that stings.”

“You're an awfully good pal for doing this,” she commented as she went back to work. “Hope your friend realizes that.”

“Oh, she knows. Let’s just say my liquor cabinet will be well-stocked after this.”

“Is rum your solution to everything?”

“Doesn’t hurt.” She pulled the next strip; he grimaced. “That does.”

They continued like that as she worked her way across his chest and then down his stomach. She learned that he was a British ex-pat, having come over here after being discharged from the Navy (where he lost his hand), and still had a brother there who had pretty much raised him. (He made no mention of parents, she noticed.)

He worked with ships for a living—it wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t bad either, and that’s how he met Ariel of Under The Sea Mermaids, through his coworker, her husband.

She asked him about the tattoo on his forearm—a dagger through a heart with the name “Milah” across it—but his somber answer was only that it was dedicated to “someone from long ago” (that was a poorly timed wax rip on her part, but reminded her of the marks on her own body left by lost love).

His favorite color was blue, like the ocean; his favorite food was pizza; and he loved rock music.

It was like with each hair she pulled, a bit of him was revealed, and she was discovering that all those parts matched her own story just a little too well. If she hadn’t already been completely taken by his outsides, she would definitely be falling for the rest.

The last bit of hair to go was just above the band of his underwear, just below his belly button (which was ticklish, apparently/adorably). She kept her eyes focused on it and only it, never straying south, and with one final rip (and another hiss from Killian), it was done.

He looked like any other smooth-skinned guy now—perfect for being a merman, she supposed, but it lacked the same character. Once she’d cleaned him up a bit, he sat up and stood to look in a mirror. His sad sigh echoed in her soul.

“You did a fantastic job, love,” he thanked, albeit slightly morosely. “How long does it take to grow back?”

“You probably won’t see anything for a few weeks; maybe longer.”

He sighed again and it nearly broke her heart. “Okay.”

She stepped out of the room to let him redress and get an after-care kit...and a pen. Before stepping back into the room, she hastily scribbled a note on the bottom corner of one of the info sheets; it looked like she was going to have to break her own rule on this one.

Back inside, Killian had on the maroon-colored, v-necked t-shirt and the leather jacket he’d come in wearing; she could only imagine what the sight of his chest hair peeking out from his shirt collar had been like before his appointment. She swallowed a gulp at the thought and walked him through how to care for his skin the next few days, briefly going over everything in the after-care kit before handing it over.

“Thank you, Emma; I don’t think I could have been in better hands today.”

“My pleasure,” she answered, before blushing profusely again. “Have fun playing merman for a day. I can’t wait to see the pictures.” Dammit, she did it again—he just had that effect on her.

“I’ll do my best. Take care.” He waved goodbye and was out the door, and Emma breathed a sigh of relief she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.

That had been the most tempting, tortuous appointment in her years of working here, and she was glad it was finally over. She was a bit thrown off that he’d had such an affect on her; no one had in quite some time, and hopefully she’d never encounter him on this table again.

But she was really hoping for meetings of another kind, and desperately hoped he’d see her note and understand it—the one that said “Call me in a few weeks; maybe longer —Emma”.

She needed to see him—and his chest hair—again.

Like any good stalker, Emma made a point to turn on notifications for Under The Sea’s Instagram page (which she’d already been following, so she wasn’t being THAT creepy).

Consequently (well, not really), she knew when the shoot was beginning, because there were some behind-the-scenes photos of a very familiar set of abs above a gorgeous, aqua-colored tail.

Emma totally wasn’t jealous of the other girl in the shoot—some redhead who seemed all-too perfect at playing mermaid. (Just kidding; Emma totally was.)

But then the underwater photos started popping up on the feed, and Emma was completely taken at how gorgeous they were—at how gorgeous he was. The tails themselves were incredible, obviously, but Killian really was the perfect model for them, with his lean muscles and graceful movement. She was so mesmerized that it took a bit to realize that he’d shaved his arms and beard, too; she mourned the loss for a moment but damn if he didn’t look even more natural in the water. (They would grow back, too.) There was even a short video of him swimming in a gleaming golden tail that Emma swooned over many, many times.

So it was really no wonder that the subject of her fantasies over the next few weeks while pleasuring herself was a dark-haired, blue-eyed merman with chest hair she could only dream about. She had no idea how it would actually, you know, work, but it was the aesthetic of the thing: submerged in cool water counter to the heat rising within, running her fingers through those thick tresses, and then finally lavishing her attention on that oh-so-perfect chest hair...damn.

Now, she wasn’t completely weird—there were plenty of normal daydreams, too. That scruff, for instance, and all the places it could leave evidence that it had been there. And those jeans really did nothing but flatter him.

(A good part of her was telling herself that it was pure lust—just physical attraction keeping him ever-present in her thoughts. It had nothing to do with the connection she’d felt with him; he was practically a stranger, right? Yeah, that’s what she’s gonna go with.)

She was watching the video for the umpteenth time, comfortable in bed and ready to do some more relaxing, when a text from an unknown number came in. She jumped at her phone’s vibration and nearly scratched a very sensitive part (but not in a pleasant way).

Hello, love. It's been more than a few weeks. Checking in as directed :) —Killian

Thank goodness he'd texted and not called so she didn't have the opportunity to make a total fool of herself again—though there were still plenty of opportunities to put her foot in her mouth through the written word. She needed to try to play it cool (as if she had any chill left when it came to him).

E: Hey! How was being a merman? Is everything growing in okay?

She figured that kept it friendly but borderline professional, in case he wasn't interested; just because he was single didn't mean he was looking, as Emma was clearly an example of herself.

K: Everything is going swimmingly. Perhaps I could show you in person, if you were interested?

If? If? He clearly hadn't noticed that eswan1022 had liked every single photo of him on Under The Sea’s instagram. (And what kind of terrible pun was that?) Nevertheless, she was glad he couldn't see her grinning like a fool, and could only imagine the cocky smirk her reaction would put on his face.

E: I might be. Were you thinking of a follow-up or something a bit more social?

Hopefully he wouldn't perceive her caution as disinterest, but she'd imagined them meeting again so many times, she really didn't want to mess it up.

K: You did a fantastic job, so don't take any offense, but I don't think I'll subject myself to waxing again ;) How does dinner sound?

She could only grin, and—since she was alone—let out a high-pitched, girly squeal.

E: None taken. Sounds perfect!

A few nights later, she was staring at the front door of her favorite diner, fighting off the nerves that had crept in over the past couple of days. What was she doing? She hardly knew him! Granted, he hadn’t given her any reason to think he was anything but an upstanding guy, who she likely had a fair amount of things in common with, and hello—just look at him. But she had walls around her heart for a reason—forged by a bastard so long ago—and they were screaming at her to run, even though her heart itself was begging for her to give it a chance.

So there she stood, working up the courage to go in, when a familiar voice whispered in her ear, “I believe you have to push it, love.” Killian’s breath on her skin made her shiver—she could try to blame it on the fact that she’d actually worn a dress for the first time in ages, but that would be a lie.

When she turned to look at him, he was smirking, of course, and wearing that same leather jacket as before. But underneath, he wore a partially-buttoned dress shirt under a pinstriped waistcoat...and she could see more than a bit of chest hair peeking out from underneath.

“Again, my eyes are up here.” Emma jumped at his statement and finally met his eyes, which were definitely laughing at her. Whatever it was about him that turned her into a bumbling fool was kind of annoying, but also kind of thrilling and oddly put her at ease.

She quickly shook her head to bring herself back to reality, smiled, and then reached for the door. “Actually, you pull.”

She led him in and brought him to her usual booth. It was weird having someone across from her, but surprisingly the good kind of weird.

The yellow lights of the diner highlighted the hidden hints of ginger in his beard, fully regrown and actually a bit longer than the last time she’d seen him; she could only imagine what the coarse scruff would feel like against her palm, and other more intimate areas...but she couldn’t follow that train of thought just yet. She was on a date. She had to behave...for now.

After glancing over the menu and placing their orders, a companionable if somewhat awkward silence descended on them. “So…” “So…” they both started at the same time, then stopped, laughing. She could feel blush rising on her cheeks and if she wasn’t mistaken, there was a fair amount of pink on his, too.

“Sorry; I don’t go on actual dates often,” she apologized.

“Can’t say I do, either,” he replied, to her amazement. How anyone who looked like that had a shortage of dates was inconceivable to her. He continued, “You go ahead. What were you going to say?”

Actually, she’d forgotten, but she pulled something together fast. “So what was it like to be a merman?”

He smiled. “It was fun, although I did feel a bit naked.”

“Were you?” Emma blurted out, curiously and coquettishly. So much for behaving.

“Aren’t all mermen?” he teased back with a wink. Oh, this date was going to be excruciating if it was all going to be like this. She swallowed at the mental imagery of him naked lest she spit out any other too-forward comments.

Thankfully, their food arrived then, and they fell into small talk about their childhoods—he with his brother in England, her bouncing around the local foster system—and, even though they never brought it up, she could tell that he was something of a lost boy; though he covered it up, she caught a look in his eyes that she knew she too wore at times: the look you get when you’ve been left alone.

That, paired with the story that went with his tattoo (whatever it was—she wouldn’t pry), brought into focus the other part of why she felt so drawn to him: they’d clearly both survived heartbreak and came out stronger for it; that was hard kinship to come by, and she was discovering that she didn’t want to let that go.

And, you know, he was fucking hot; that damn chest hair was still teasing her and when he moved to reach for the ketchup, she got an eyeful of his defined collarbones. Never had she been so aroused by someone who she had already seen half-naked but was still fully clothed.

When the meal was completed, the waitress came by again, offering dessert, but Killian declined. “Actually...I’ve got something at home, if you're interested,” he offered, somewhat seductively.

Emma didn’t hesitate to respond. “Sure,” she answered, more breathily than intended but it could hardly be helped. How else was she supposed to respond when Mr. Perfect Chest Hair invited her to his home?

Killian paid the bill and, ever the gentleman, offered her his arm before they left and escorted her out into the night.

And if there was anything to be gleaned from the hungry look in his eyes, despite having just eaten, she could tell that this night was far from over.

He wasn’t lying about the dessert—he actually did have pie back at his place. They exchanged heated glances over their slices with coffee as they sat at the corner of his dining table. Her nerves were back, but paired with excitement this time; they hadn’t really discussed what was going to happen here, but honestly, she was up for anything, innocent or otherwise.

She insisted on cleaning the dishes after, but he still followed her into the kitchen of his small but tidy apartment. Once the mugs were washed and dried and she was working on the plates, he put the cups away—which just so happened to be the cabinet above her head. She nearly dropped one of the plates when she felt the heat of him radiating against her back; he didn’t even touch her, but just his proximity was enough to ignite a fire deep within.

She rushed through finishing her task while he was still carefully putting away the mugs, and then turned around to hand him the plates. Her chest nearly collided with his and his blue gaze was closer than anticipated, intense as ever and holding her own for a second that felt like forever. A spark flew through her when his fingers grazed hers as he collected the plates, and she found herself preemptively missing his presence in her space as he shifted to move away from her.

But instead, he moved impossibly closer, leaning in and glancing down at her lips. She did the same—watching as his tongue darted out across that full bottom lip of his—and she was sure he meant to kiss her.

Until he stepped back, having only set the plates down on the counter behind them. She noticed a slight hesitation in his eyes then, like he wanted to do something but wasn’t sure if she was okay with it. Well, she was.

She grabbed the lapel of his waistcoat and hauled him to her, lips firmly colliding. He seemed slightly surprised at first but it took hardly a moment for him to be in it with her, one-hundred percent. His hand and wrist found her lower back, holding her tight to him as he pressed forward. His mouth was strong and insistent, but his tongue was a perfect gentleman, asking for entrance against her lips before dipping in and tangling with hers. The occasional scratch of his beard against whichever part of her face it grazed was even more pleasant than she could have imagined.

None of this should have been romantic—they were in his kitchen, with its harsh fluorescent lights and the countertop digging into her back—but it was somehow completely perfect. She gripped his sides and held on for dear life, matching his moves in equal and following wherever he led. She couldn’t help the occasional grind into him, seeking relief, but he was equally guilty of that and she was quickly becoming desperate for more.

When they finally came up for air, foreheads touching and chests gently heaving, he swallowed before asking a question. “Emma...are you sure?” She nodded against him, but then he pulled back and lifted her face to his with a finger. “Because, I have to admit...I’m great at the one-night thing, but...I want more than that with you.”

His sincerity took her by surprise; she hadn’t expected such an intimate revelation. But she quickly knew that she agreed. “I want that, too.”

He smiled, a sweet thing that cut dimples in his cheeks. “I’ve, ah, I’ve actually got a confession: I’ve been thinking of you ever since that day I met you.”

She swallowed a small gasp. Seriously? He had? It shouldn’t have been that shocking—he did text her, after all—but she wasn’t used to having someone that interested in her on more than a physical level.

It was only fair that she let him in on her secret, too. “Well, then I’ve got a confession of my own.”

“Most women do,” he flirted, but she could tell he was covering up insecurity.

“I’ve been thinking about you ever since then, too, and I may have watched that clip of you swimming about five-hundred times.” His shy smile in response suggested that he, too, hadn’t been in that position—genuinely desired—for some time.

Gently, he took her hand and led her out of the kitchen to his unlit living room, never once breaking eye contact until they stood in front of his sofa. Still standing, he held her waist and leaned in to kiss her again, but this time was less frantic and more purposed. It felt like his lips were cherishing her; she’d never been kissed like that, and it was more thrilling and more passionate than she’d ever felt before. The heat of her arousal was building, from deep within all the way to the tips of her fingers where they’d come to rest against his strong chest.

His chest—how could she forget? That was half the reason she was here. (Well, maybe not quite half, but...a significant part.) In anticipation, her hands scratched against his waistcoat, remembering what was hidden under layers of fabric. Too many layers, actually.

As their mouths continued their seemingly well-choreographed waltz, her hands drifted down to the top button of his vest. She waited a moment there, silently asking permission; he answered by pressing forward, pushing the button into her waiting fingers. Quickly, she released them one by one and then slid it off his shoulders once he let go of her.

Reluctantly, she pulled back from the kiss, but she had to see what was coming. She’d fantasized about what lay under that button-up far too many times to not give it her full attention.

He seemed to sense her anticipation and wore an amused look as her fingers found the top button. For this, she was going to take her time. Slowly, she undid the closure, revealing just a bit more of the spanse of hair that had been teasing her all evening.

Another one down showed where the hair was thicker—not quite what it had been, but still oh-so-wonderful. Her fingers itched to touch it, but there were several buttons to go. Each one she reverently unfastened exposed more of that dense thatch at the center of his chest, eventually opening to where it thinned across his pecs. She followed the buttons down as they paralleled the trail of hair running the middle of his stomach, soaking up the sight, until she reached where the shirt was tucked into his black jeans.

An involuntary pout formed on her lips, making Killian chuckle. “Go ahead,” he murmured, and she looked up to see a combination of laughter and lust in his eyes.

Part of her wanted to wait more, to truly take her time in treasuring and unwrapping the present that was Killian’s upper body, but the heat deep inside was growing impatient. So she tugged it out quickly, front and then back, then placed her hands on his shoulders under the thin fabric.

She did linger in sliding it down his arms, feeling his firm biceps under her palms and grazing the fine dark hair on his forearms. The shirt fell to the floor and there he was, halfway bare in front of her and looking somehow even better than her dreams. Her dreams didn’t include the heat of him under her hands where they’d settled at his waist. They didn’t quite capture the soft coarseness of his hair against her thumbs as she drew them up the line from his navel. And they didn’t capture that look of genuine want in his eyes as her palms settled on his perfect chest and she met his gaze.

He was smirking at her, too. “What?” she wondered, blushing slightly.

“I knew you liked the chest hair,” was his teasing reply. “Is that the only reason we’re here?”

“No,” she quickly refuted, blushing even harder. “But I can’t lie; I’ve seen a lot of chest hair, and yours...yours is definitely the best.”

He smiled, a lascivious thing, and tilted down to kiss her again. His hand and wrist again found her waist and her fingertips drew lazy patterns over his pecs, dragging through his chest hair as much as she could as he drew her closer.

One of her hands wandered up to play with the short hairs at the nape of his neck while the other continued to toy with those over his heart, and their tongues began their tango again. The simmering want within was back over the flame, and the warmth of his skin was fueling it. It burned through her dress to the point that she may not have even been wearing one...which seemed like his goal, if the hand drifting up her back to the zipper was anything to go by.

Like she had, he hesitated when he reached it; she rolled her shoulders back to urge him on, suddenly desperate to get out of the confining garment. He dragged the pull down and the cool air against her spine was exceedingly refreshing, but contrasted by the sparks created whenever his fingers grazed her skin.

When he finally reached the bottom, she moved to tug the dress off her shoulders, but he intercepted her. “Ah ah,” he told her, voice raspy and a teasing, warning look in his gaze. “My turn.” She panted as he pulled it off one side, then the other, then guided it down over her hips until it fell in an unceremonious pile at her feet, revealing the black lace bra and panties she wore underneath. His eyes grew wide at the sight of her in her underwear; he sighed, “So beautiful.” She felt more bare than ever in her life, but the reverence in his eyes when he finally met hers nearly took her breath away.

And then, there was no going back.

They collided in a frenzy of hands and lips and tongues and limbs, the force on her end knocking him back onto the couch. She straddled his lap and pressed against him, the hair on his stomach tickling hers in the most tantalizing way. Her fingers buried themselves in his silky tresses, taking them from purposely mussed to completely disheveled; he somehow found a way to undo her ponytail and was similarly running his hand through her locks.

His beard had been teasing her in their frantic kissing; the slight scratch against her soft lips was delicious, and she wanted more. She abandoned her assault on his mouth with one final peck before working her way down to his chin and then across his sharp jaw, thoroughly enjoying the roughness of his scruff as it gently burned her, echoing the heat that was quickly pooling at her center.

Seeking relief, she rolled her hips against his, chasing whatever friction she could find with lace against denim. He was in a similar state, and groaned when she moved against his erection. That sound vibrated all the way through to her core, so she kept going, putting them in a ceaseless cycle that had both on the edge within minutes.

She braced her hands on his chest, scratching and pawing at the hair that she just could not get enough of. In turn, his hand slid up and drew a strip of heat over her lace-clad breast, making her gasp. He continued to massage and she swore she was damn near ready to come just from this, and they hadn’t even gotten to the really fun stuff.

As they continued their grind and her mouth found his again, his hand wandered around her back to the clasp of her bra. Again, he paused, but she rasped “do it” in as commanding a tone as she could muster. He popped the fastener immediately and they both pulled it off desperately, tossing it aside so he could lave over her peaked nipples.

Her head fell back as he worked, first one breast and then the other, with his expert fingers replacing his tongue, eyes closed with pleasure; her hands first found purchase in his hair, but then trailed back down to his chest, attracted like a magnet.

She was fully aware of the strain on his jeans and the way it pressed against her soaked panties; she was also overcome with the desire to know how his chest hair felt when it was moving against and over her. Almost of their own volition, her hands wandered down, following the trail that led across his toned stomach, past that ticklish belly button, and disappeared into the waistband of those too-tight jeans, which she began to tug at.

He sat straight up, eyes flying open dramatically, and his deep sapphire gaze met hers. “Not here,” he breathed out, voice deep with lust, and wrapped his arms around her lower back, pressing her close to him. He moved to stand, leading with his hips, and she wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, bringing them chest-to-chest. Once securely upright, his lips found her neck and her nipples met his chest; the combination of the way he nipped and sucked paired with the coarse caress of his chest hair against her sensitive breasts had her panting with want and wondering just where he was taking her—hopefully nowhere far.

They passed through the threshold to what was apparently his room; what little she glimpsed was as neat as the rest of his place, but she was basically on sensory overload until he let go with his hand to pull back the bed covers and carefully set her down on the sheets, along the length of the bed. He opened a nightstand drawer to pull out a condom, then propped himself over her with his forearms and swung a leg across so he could hover over her on all fours. “Now, where were we?”

She was realizing that she’d probably never tire of the way he attacked her lips, much like she’d never grow weary of the feel of his chest under her palm. But to get back to where they were, she drew her fingers down across his abdomen again, straight to the button of his jeans, undoing it with a satisfying pop. She quickly tugged the zipper and then dug her thumbs into the side of his waistband, making sure to get under his boxer briefs too, and pushed them down. He moved forward to help her, sliding them down to his knees and freeing the cock she could only imagine before—and her imaginings did not do his thick length justice.

He knelt back and managed to wiggle out of the legs of his jeans, leaving him fully nude, nothing between them but a scrap of lace that she was eager to divest. He seemed to sense her need and tucked two fingers under the front edge of her panties; she was impatient, though, and grabbed the seams and ripped. A quick lift of her hips and it was gone, and she sat up to take him in hand.

It was a good thing he’d told her to “leave his balls alone” way back when; the thick thatch of dark hair there was perfectly placed and she wouldn’t have wanted to remove any more than she’d had to. He felt good in her hand, warm and firm, and she could only imagine how he’d feel inside her. She stroked his length before she took the condom from him, enjoying how he felt outside in anticipation of how he’d feel inside.

She hadn’t gone long, savoring the desperately contented sounds he made at her ministrations, when he stuttered, “Emma—I need to—”

“Okay,” she quickly answered, realizing she needed him, too. Faster than she ever had before, she grabbed the condom from where he dropped it on the bed, tore open the package, and rolled it over his length, making sure it was on right. Then, carefully, she leaned back and guided him to where she was aching for him. He took over, holding his cock in hand and circling her entrance with the tip almost teasingly. The fire within had not simmered out, yet he was fanning the flames now and they threatened to consume her. “Killian,” she panted, almost begging, raising her hips slightly to guide him. Not a second later, he was thrusting in.

They paused there for a moment, getting used to the feel of each other—and damn, did she like it; he filled her perfectly and was a comforting weight above her.

His hand and wrist found her waist, gripping tight as he slowly pulled back and then slid back in, hitting all the right spots inside her. He did it again, and her hands found his shoulders, thumbs taking hold in the dip of his collarbones.

“Is this…” he started to ask as he languidly kept thrusting. She nodded in the affirmative—it was perfect, but she was starting to have a hard time forming words.

With her okay, he picked up speed, and the faster he went, the more she felt herself nearing the edge. His chest brushed against hers on each graceful press, coarse hair against her oversensitive nipples, providing a contrasting yet complementing sensation to what was going on elsewhere unlike anything she’d felt before—and she was sure she’d be ruined for anything else after this.

He was almost there, too, she could tell, because his thrusts rapidly increased in tempo. Her heels dug into the mattress to brace herself against the impact of his presses and tension mounted quickly within, building, building, building—and then she was there.

Pleasure came over her in waves, nearly threatening to drown her. For a moment, it felt like she couldn’t breathe, coming with a gasp as her orgasm sent shockwaves through her nerves and rippled through her inner walls. It was merely seconds before he joined her; he stopped and tensed, his grip tightening, and she could feel him pulsing within. He gasped out her name and his face contorted in both pain and bliss; there was something gratifying knowing she’d done that to him, just as much as he had to her.

He dropped his head to her shoulder as he came down from his high, but regained himself enough to pullout and peel off the condom. He excused himself to the bathroom to dispose of it, returning with a warm wet cloth to clean them both up.

Even that he did with a sense of reverence, and Emma was starting to wonder how he was real. Because in her life, no one had ever cherished her like that, nor had she ever experienced pleasure that was even in the same realm.

After he returned from tossing aside the washcloth, he lay down next to her and drew up the covers, sensing her shiver preeminently as the sweat cooled on their skin. So she had to ask: “What are you? Are you a fae, or an elf, or actually a merman?”

He chuckled, a deep thing that reverberated through her. “Why do you ask?”

“Just...that was incredible. I’ve never felt like that before. No one’s treated me like that before.”

Even in the minimal light, she swore she saw him blush. “Nor I, love.”

She reached over to place her hand over his heart; it was racing below her palm, and that wonderful hair that covered his skin. Who knew that a bit of lusting over something as superficial as that would lead her here? (She knew it was more than that, of course, but...yeah.) “Well...I’d be happy if we both made that a habit.”

“Aye. Me too.”

Ardently, she cupped his face and placed a gentle kiss against his lips. “What do you say to starting that tonight?”

His gaze quickly turned from loving to lusting. “I think that’s a fantastic idea.”

Several months, many dates, and too many intimate meetings to count, Emma and Killian lay cuddled together in his bed, coming down from their high. Emma had her head on his chest and hand over his heart, idly drawing patterns through the fully-regrown chest hair there. He sometimes teased her about how little his sleep shirts got used now that she was over on a regular basis—even if they weren't up to more enjoyable activities, she'd found his chest was better than any pillow or plush, but it was obvious that he loved it.

As they lay there, his phone buzzed on the nightstand and he grabbed it to read the text. His eyebrow raised curiously as he read the message.

“What is it?” she asked.

“It's Ariel,” he answered. “She's looking for models again.”

Emma froze, nearly in terror, and her hand gripped his chest in panic. “No, you can't...I'm not…”

He laughed gently at her reaction. “Calm down, love; I swear, you're only with me for my chest hair.” She lightly swatted his pec in protest; he feigned pain. “Relax; she already said I wouldn't have to wax. In fact, she was inquiring after both of us. What do you say? Be my mermate?” he proposed with a wink.

She giggled. “I'll do anything with you but manscaping. Once was enough.”

“Aye, that it was; but I can't say I regret it,” he agreed, placing a gentle kiss at her temple.

“Me neither.”

#cs ff #cs modern au #cs smut #mermaid!killian #kind of #happy birthday #cocohook38 #my ff

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cloudbattrolls · 7 years

Text

> GLIESE: further discuss plans with Emerel.

The second installment of Let’s Discuss Kit’s Future Without Kit. Gliese and Emerel meet at the renaissance fair to talk business, just before Emerel and Hadean screw each other up.

> GLIESE

You finally found him. Stupid motherfucker, you think, grinning as you take a big running leap and land right next to the fence that separates the ring from the benches and cup your hands around your mouth. “EMEREL! ” He looks busy in a fight, though, so you just slide onto a bench and kick your feet. “Come on, beat this guy into paste so I can say hi to you properly, geez.” You call.

> EMEREL

Tellus is a tough one. You like fighting this guy. He gives you a hell of a challenge, even for an olive. As caught up in the fight as you are, you only vaguely register the sound of your name somewhere to your right. Your opponent, however, seems more curious about it than you are. When Tellus turns his head, you take the opportunity to sweep his legs with the butt of your halberd, kicking him hard out of the circle amongst much cheering from the crowd and swearing from him. You win again~ Laughing, you give him a hand up and a clap on the shoulder before you go to talk to Gliese who you've now spotted on the benches. "Thanks for the distraction, Gliese." You snicker, twirling your weapon once and resting it on your shoulder. "What's up?"

> GLIESE

You grin, tossing your hair with a jaunty shake of your head. He’s so damn tall, gangly motherfucker, him and Hadean alike. At least Pheres has the decency to be short like you. “You’re fucking welcome for saving the night.” You say, extra-lofty. You just barely manage to keep a straight face. “Not much. I dropped by Pheres’s booth, saw his choice of outfits - “ You stress the last word like you’re saying ‘blood sacrifices’ or ‘mutant support posters’. “ - and then decided I wanted to find you instead. Hadean texted me he got a SEADWELLER customer too, some old lady.”

> EMEREL

"I just don't know what I would have done without you!" You exclaim, putting your hand to your head like you're in a fucked up stage drama. "It would have been messy, let me tell you." You tap your fingers on the handle of your halberd, pleased with your own joke. "Oh, yeah. That." You cheeks fill with air and you turn away, laughing hard enough that you have to lean on your weapon for support. "I saw that!" The memory of it still fills you with a fun combination of cringe and hilarity. "I tried to give him fashion suggestions, but he said he looked just fine and needed to match Hadean. Speaking of, what IS Hadean even wearing?" Your eyebrows go up at the mention at an elderly seadweller and you whistle. "Wouldn't have expected old fish hags to come around here. That's new."

> GLIESE

You grin, wide and sharp, ears flicked straight up as you push your hands against the smooth brown surface of the bench, gripping it like you’re going to leap off. Maybe you will! “It’s okay, I accept your undying gratitude as payment.” You say, teasing him back. You laugh along with him - it’s infectious, Emerel’s brand of humor is so like yours, being around him is easy and relaxing.

“Oh my god, why didn’t he listen to you, he’s such a fucking dork. I don’t know WHAT Hadean’s wearing, besides not much.” You snark. “I wanna know what that designer was smoking, I bet I could grow it and be rich as a fuchsia.” You shrug. “Yeah, wasn’t expecting to see an adult here. I mean, not that I’ve seen her and not that I WANT to, but still weird. Also…” You look around. No one’s paying too close attention to the pair of you - just another fighter and spectator. Still… “Do you have time to talk longer? I have stuff I want to tell you about…our last one-on-one chat.” You say, knowing he’ll understand.

> EMEREL

"He really is. Fuck that guy." You laugh again. You're still joking, of course. You love Pheres. You just think his fashion is horrible and have no idea why he's determined to get his ass kicked over his dumb as fuck wardrobe. "At the very least he could have worn a shirt that laced up instead of that...whatever the hell that is, I don't even know what what is." You bury your face in one hand, snorting.

"If you find out, tell me and we can go into business together. We could both use the money. Though I'm not surprised about anything Pheres wears by this point. I've seen him in white fur suits and lace-ups. What the hell, Pheres." Oh, that was horrible. When she starts looking around, you frown. You know that body language. She's making sure nobody's listening, which gives you an idea of what's coming next. And when she asks if you can talk longer, you nod. You were expecting that. "Yeah." You lower your voice to a barely audible whisper on habit, looking around yourself. "My next event's not for a while yet. Come on, I know where it's quieter." You put your weapon away and gesture to her to follow you.

> GLIESE

“That, Em -” You say, pausing dramatically. “- is what we call a disaster in plainspeak. Also, did he really kill that animal himself? He said he did and I guess he could be more of a fighter than he looks but level with me here.” “HA, yeah.” You say. “Oh man, you have got to tell me about his other outfits, I wanna hear the horror stories.” Your ears flick, their large surfaces catching what he says just fine despite the drop in volume. You follow him, your own voice quiet. “I have good news and bad news, and…frustrating news.”

> EMEREL

"Not sure about that one. But he does taxidermy, so he probably stole the fur off some animal and wore it. He's not much of a fighter, trust me. He can battle in a pinch, but he'd sooner blind everyone to get out of there." You slap your knee, smirking. "There was the fuzzy poncho with red and green laces, the scarf actually made from wolf fur with the head still on it, all the white he wears. The guy is a walking fashion emergency."

You're going to dress him properly one of these days. You will, damn it. Of course, that has to wait until after you talk to Gliese. You call out to your teammates, telling them you'll be back later so they don't come looking for you, leading her to a quiet gazebo way towards the edge of the property. It's kind of run down and there's no tents or attractions in this particular area, so there's nobody around right now. You sit yourself down on a rickety bench, gesturing for her to take a seat. "Good, bad, and frustrating. Let's hear the bad first." You're still whispering.

> GLIESE

“Pffft, yeah, that sounds probable.” Matari also loves taxidermy, god knows why. Maybe it’s some sort of weird rust thing. “Oh, what, are his psiionics a real light show?” You gape at him as he tells you about the clothing. “Oh my god…a scarf from wolf fur is cool, not going to lie, but WITH THE HEAD STILL ON? Sweet Empress.” The gazebo is nice, even if the area itself is kind of shabby. You don’t mind, really - your bony shoulders lower slightly as you relax a little. You sit down across from Emerel, biting your lip with a long fang, not hard enough to draw blood yet. “Bad news is, I don’t know everything about Kit’s implants.” You admit.

It’s frustrating, but not terribly surprising. “I’ve found out some stuff, but the problem is, any general info about implants I could find is probably not exactly the same, especially factoring in different models and psi levels and junk.” It all gives you a pan-ache; you had no idea this shit was so complicated, and that was just from doing a little background research. There’s so much that could go wrong. It makes you wonder if you’re really doing the right thing, but you know anything - anything - is worth Kit not thinking he has to submit to cruel treatment for the rest of his life. “Kit’s told me some things, and the worst part of it is that the damn thing has a fleet tracker, so we have to be able to neutralize that, maybe even before we take it out.” You grind your fangs. It makes things so much harder.

> EMEREL

"Are you serious?" You groan, lifting your glasses onto your head and rubbing the bridge of your nose. You squint at Gliese through blurry vision, your pan going over every tactic or strategy or breakneck risk you can think of that might give the two of you the upper hand. "Alright, tell me everything you do know for sure. Maybe we can get some kind of an idea out of that." You rest your arms on the railings of the gazebo, chewing at your lip as you think. Shit, this is very bad. "How recent are Kit's implants? Are they close to yours? And-" You frown. "-Who were the previous Lepuses?" Is that a word? Who cares, she knows what you meant. "Do we know anyone with actual skills in maintaining ports. Or maybe a defector from your base itself? Someone there has to know something."

> GLIESE

“I’m sure as hell not telling you ‘cause I think it’d be funny.” You snort. You wish it were easy. And this is only part of the puzzle you have to solve; even once you work out how you’re getting the implants out and how best to deal with them, you have to figure out who’s doing it and how you’re going to even get away with it. God. You’d be going against the fleet itself, tampering with property… Does Kit count as property, since he has a port, even if only one? The idea makes you feel sick, and for reasons that make you uncomfortable about yourself…and some things you’ve said to him.

Ugh. No need to get into that now.

“I know his implants need periodic tune-ups. There might be some way we can use that. And aside from training, when they turn them down so he can use his psi, they stop him from doing much with his powers outside of that. As far as I know, there weren’t any before us, though how Leoffe even found out about us is a mystery to me.” You say, shrugging. “Maybe they just decided to use the first strong psychic cerulean they found.” “I told you before I don’t have any implants, doofus. Kit’s are so special they aren’t easily replicated, I think, plus they’re still testing them on him since he’s the first. No, I don’t know anyone with helm skills. I wish. And I decided I don’t want to ask Riccin; way too much of a security risk, they’d blab to the Empire in a heartbeat if they thought I was up to anything.”

> EMEREL

"If this was a bad joke, we'd be doing pretty good. Welcome to real life, where everything is a bitch." You put your glasses back, letting out a long sigh. This is probably the most dangerous thing you've ever been involved in and you're stressed to hell and back. If this gets fucked up, then Kit's done for. Gliese is done for, you think as you shoot your gaze back to her, chewing the inside of your mouth in thought. You're beyond done for. You don't even want to know what they'd do to you in particular. If they really want to fuck you both up, Pheres is probably done for too. It puts a cold, scared feeling in your chest and your fingers are trembling slightly just thinking about it. "Like a tune-up that conveniently shuts down the tracker? That might be doable. But we have to find someone who knows what they're doing with that first. We don't need to cause the guy permanent pan damage. Or spinal damage. Or whatever else damage might happen if that gets fucked the hell up.

"Let's try making that our next plan: finding someone who knows more about port development than we do. I don't suppose we could pose as curious students and ask a manufacturer." That suggestion is more wishful thinking; you know it wouldn't work. "...Unless they'd had test subjects before." You say, your voice grim. "Usually, big projects off this aren't done on a whim, they're done on previous research. Which means they probably did have a pre-Lepus program of some kind where they did their testing." You pause. "I don't want to know what happened to whoever that poor sap was." You shake your head, tugging on your collar. You're freezing, but covered in sweat. It's a weird feeling and you just want to take a long shower right now. "Right, right. Excuse me for having a lot on my mind here." You stick your tongue out at her, crossing one leg over the other. "Do we at least know a good psionic blocker?"

> GLIESE

“I know what real life’s like, Emerel, it dragged me into the fleet by my ears.” You say, sighing along with him. What the hell are you two doing? It’d be worth it, but is it even possible? It has to be. You blink and your ears flip back to half-mast from drooping as he voices his idea. “Could be. Framing the helmstech would be tricky…unless we bribed them, which is definitely possible. It’d have to be pretty high if we wanted to ensure their silence, but it might be a risk worth taking.” You shake your head at his next question.

“Yeah, and I doubt Prisma would answer us either, damn shame since they seem like they know a lot. I’ll just have to search my contacts.” You shrug at him. “Maybe? But I doubt those were ceruleans; those of with psi aren’t exactly a dime a dozen, and we’re uncommon anyway. They probably just used lowbloods with similar powers.” A pair of your skinny fingers flicks Emerel on the arm playfully. “Never. You will eternally live in disgrace.” The cheshire meowbeast would be hard-pressed to beat the grin spreading across your face. “Now, THERE I have good news - the base also trains plenty of lowblood psions, and obviously they have blockers around, so I just figured out what the best of their tech was and then got Dionna to buy a similar one for me with caegers, so they can’t trace it.”

> EMEREL

"What a world." You spit on the grass next to your bench, annoyed. The two of you are up against an absolute whirlpool of iron spikes and shit with no good way around it and no safe way in it. You really, really need to think hard. Gliese has the connections that you don't, so she must know something the two of you can do even if she doesn't realize it yet. All you have to do is keep pushing and picking her brain until something helpful comes forward. "That also leads us to the problem of the 'take the money and rat you out' kind. Bribery is good, but we have to make sure we're throwing money at someone who actually will be quiet if you pa them enough." You drum our fingers on the wood, noting the taste of blood in your mouth; you bit your cheek a bit too hard. "Something tells me that Prisma definitely doesn't fall under the buy him out category. Damn it.

Who's left in your contact list that would voluntarily do this without ratting us out or being a general liability?" "Still. If the project is really that old, there's probably old research on it. Even if Kit's new and improved in terms of tech, I bet the blueprints are somewhere. If we could just get our hands on them, we'd know what to do to get rid of them. But where would they be?" You look expectantly at Gliese, your face set in a frown.

"And by that I mean, how well-guarded is the place?"You chuckle a bit when she hits your arm and it lightens the mood a bit. "I am now sufficiently disgraced. Excuse me while I exile myself to the isle of despair!" You say, dramatic, as you get up and make like you're going to throw yourself over the gazebo railing. You laugh as you take your seat again, feeling a bit better despite the knot in your chest. When she grins at you like she's got an idea, though, you lean forward, both eyebrows raised. This sounds promising. "Gliese," You say, rubbing your hands together as your eyes gleam. "I think we just had a breakthrough here. Do those blockers work on, say, blueblooded psionics?"

> GLIESE

“I know.” You mutter, staring at the ground, before raising your voice so he can hear you clearly. “But it’d be way more dangerous to sneak someone of our own into fleet staff, impersonation’s a risk we want to avoid unless we absolutely can’t. So bribery’s probably safer.” “I have Dionna, she’s down for this as long as I pay her, and my other good news is that her moirail bitched at me plenty but Ionole finally agreed as long as HE gets paid a good deal too. I can take care of those; a chunk of my stipend, but I’ll still have plenty left. You snort. Emerel’s not getting it; well, how can you blame him?

“It’s not, to my knowledge. It’s just Leoffe’s thing, and you don’t know the fleet well, do you Em? Those blueprints will be digital-only, and on a lockdown so extreme that getting to them would be impossible. I bet they’re not even at the base. It’s a good thought, but we’d never manage it without a whole damn team of people, and I don't think I have to explain why that's a bad idea.” You make an amused noise at his response and then your eyes get wide, ears flicking up. “No reason they shouldn’t. Sure, the caste is different, but blockers aren’t like implants - it’s external tech meant to suppress all psiionic power, no matter what kind of troll it’s coming from.”

> EMEREL

"And the last thing we need is extra risk factor. Bribery it is. If you end up running low on cash from operation greased palms, let me know and I'll contribute what I can." So far, so good. It's at least a start. You want so badly to get Kit out of there and it feels like the whole damn world is trying to stop you. "I really wish we could just talk to Kit about this and get him to see it but...that's a hell of a task. I mean, we both know Kit. He'll curl up into himself the second you frown at him. Or at least that's what he does with me and Pheres. I don't know all the details of how he acts around you." You do know Gliese is tough on him, but you highly doubt it's as nasty as what Leoffe's been doing.

"Well, I never said they'd be on paper. I was thinking digital blueprints, Gliese. I'm not an idiot." You touch your tongue to your fangs, making an 'uggggh' face at her. "If all else fails, I vote we drive a full ship into the side of the wall. It might land on Leoffe in the process and then all our problems are over." You hope she doesn't think you're serious on that one, even if crushing Leoffe with heavy objects does sound appealing. "Is this starting to feel like the plot of some fucked up movie or is that just me?" "Alright, next question." You lean forward on your knees, running your tongue over your fangs in anticipation. "Is there any way to attach that to Kit without having the tech team or Leoffe notice? Or at least keep it near him?" You tap your fingers together, continuing. "Would they take him off duty if his powers suddenly stopped working? Or...would that just make Leoffe angry?" You frown, that possibility just now coming to you.

> GLIESE

“Should be fine.” You say, shrugging. You still find it a bit ridiculous that Emerel’s so damn rich for a jade, but hey, as long as it helps. You laugh a little - he’s close, but not quite right. “I’d like to think he’s grown a little bit of a backbone since he first met me.” You say, grinning. “Sometimes he actually zings back at me when I give him shit. Progress is slow but there. He just always gets frustrated when I’m rude, but he doesn’t get it. He’s so soft-pumpered, I just know someone’s gonna use it against him and screw him over. So I figure if he gets used to me, it’ll help.” It’ll help. Won’t it? You’re doing the right thing. If he can object to you, surely he can learn to object to Leoffe…

You mean like he has despite them being around him for sweeps?

You once again abruptly stop your internal dialogue. Emerel’s talking, you need to respond. “Yeah, even those would be impossible to get, or else, way too risky to try.” Then you bark laughter at him. “Great idea! Where’s the rebel hideout we’re gonna vanish to later, Em? Tell me, I want to pick the wallpaper.” You nudge him in the side. “This was already a fucked up movie plot. You’re the eye candy, and I’m the rugged protagonist, obviously.” You frown as you think. “Not while he was in the base, because it’d dampen the psi of everyone else near him too. I…” You hate saying it, but you don’t know, and it shows in the frustrated cast of your gritted teeth, the way your ears tilt almost all the way down. “I don’t know. I don’t know what the protocol is for that.”

> EMEREL

"Does he really?" You raise both eyebrows, grinning. You're quite glad to hear that. "He got sassy with me once, when-" When he informed you you didn't pop his rainbowdrinker cherry, to quote him. You cover your face, laughing at the thought. That's such a good memory and you will treasure it forever. "-Well it was pretty great, let me tell you."

Does Gliese need to know you're a drinker and fed off her signmate? Nah. "Maybe that's the solution we should be going for. Just keep being tougher on him until he starts toughening himself up." That one is hard for you. You don't want to be tough on Kit, you want to coddle him. And you know it, as pathetically pitiable as that sounds. "We just...have to get him to adjust to the world and maybe it'll start bleeding through to the rest of him. If I catch anyone screwing with him because he's too nice..." You twitch your mouth to the side.

"Another question. Do we know anybody really skilled in psychology? Because that might be the best thing we can do for Kit right now. There's got to be some kind of mental magic we can work here." "I don't know, I thought the ocean floor seemed like a nice place for it." You roll with her snark, waving a dramatic hand at her. "Everyone goes into space, but nobody thinks to hide right in the enemy's lair. It's the perfect plan, they'll never find us. And I was thinking old colonial for the wallpaper myself."

You snort, knowing how silly this sounds. You do enjoy being ridiculous with Gliese, honestly. "No fair, the rugged protagonist always gets the best love interests. And the eye candy usually dies first. I am offended!" You huff, putting your hand to your forehead in mock offense. "Gliese...." You trail off, your face switching back to worry. "Find out what protocol is for that before we go any further. The last thing we want is them deciding Kit's power is gone and throwing him out the airlock or something because he knows too much."

> GLIESE

Your eyebrows contort into several interesting positions before you finally snort in amusement. “Well, good. Glad to know he’s got it in him.” Good to know he’s not incurably goody goody and boring all the way through. “Yeah. Like…” For some reason it’s difficult to say. Why do the words feel trapped in your throat? “He’s got to learn at some point.” Will he learn? Has he learned all these sweeps? Can you teach him? Does he need you at all? Of course he needs me! You fire back at this new, irritating voice in your head. I’m going to help him! I AM helping him! It’s not like Leoffe at all!

“Yeah.” You agree more strongly. “I’d fuck up anyone who tried to fuck him up.” He’s yours. He’s yours and…and… You’re not like Leoffe. “I don’t think so. You mean like some kind of professional moirail or something? Nobody comes to mind.” You say, shrugging. You reach over to shove the much taller jadeblood jokingly, careful not to actually knock his lanky form over, and your tongue goes at him as well as you look up. “Old colonial? Boring , I was thinking, like, broken tridents and shit, going for that extra rebel aesthetic.” Then you grin, sitting back down on the bench as you kick your feet. “Haha, sucks to suck.” But your face darkens along with his, and you nod. “Yeah. I guess there’s not a lot more we can try to plan before then. I’ll figure it out.”

> EMEREL

"If we just keep up the pressure, it's got to sink in soon, right?" Your voice sounds a little breathless. It's not surprising; you're worried sick about Kit now. "I mean, it takes time to undo things when you've been stuck with them your whole life." You rest your elbows on your knees, setting your chin on your hand. "And this is pretty much his whole life by this point." That sickens you. Can everything that worries you about Kit really be traced back to fucking Leoffe? Motherfucker. "Count me in. We can double team it and smash some skulls in." You crack your knuckles then your neck, your tone threatening.

"But at this rate, I think pooling our resources to find someone who knows how to make subconscious stuff tick is going to be the safest route for Kit and the most cost effective one for us. It doesn't have to be a professional moirail, just somebody's who's good at that shit. Plus, I'm sure it's easier to find than someone skilled in port tech." You shove her back, sticking your tongue out at her, the mood temporarily lightened. "No, no. We need rusty anchors. That's definitely how you hit that extra rebel aesthetic. Rusty anchors and maybe some spray paint. Spray paint is cool, right?" Hell yes it's cool. "So for now, you look into that, I'll look into rebel base decor, and we'll both keep an eye out for a competent psychologist or something." What other choice do you have?

> GLIESE

“What, don’t you trust in my incredible talents?” You say, managing a smirk. You’ve ash-leafed before, how is this any different? Emerel doesn’t need to know your doubts. He’s your friend, but…that’s moirail business. And you don’t even have one. Your ears lower a bit, though, and you become more thoughtful. “Well, his life’s been different ever since I got there.” You say, and for once you’re not boastful - it’s a fact. “I bet I can change things.” “Maybe not easier to find, but less dangerous to deal with.” You retort dryly. He’s definitely right about cost, though. You grin as he pushes you back, amused at how he has to bend down slightly to do it. Being short can be useful. “Spray paint is DEFINITELY cool.” You declare. “Though if we’re going that route, I’m making graffiti murals, sorry, non-negotiable.” “Yeah. Sounds good. Have a good fight, Em.” You say, stepping away but waving goodbye to him as you do.

You have a lot to think about.

#this isn't perfectly formatted but [Maui voice] come to think of it I gotta go!#Gliese Benral #Emerel Victis

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teachingoutsidethebinary · 7 years

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Let’s Get Out of Here Part 8: Rest Day

Summary: Bucky and Y/N take a break from the hustle and bustle of their vacation for a rest day.

Characters: Bucky Barnes, reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 2547

Read previous parts here

“So here’s the thing about Disney vacations,” you said. “They’re super fun, but super busy. You’ve gotta schedule some down time, you know?” Bucky’s mouth was full of scrambled eggs, so he just nodded. After almost a full day of driving and three days in the parks, some down time sounded perfect right about now.

You and Bucky had slept in way past your normal 7am wake up time after staying up late watching Mary Poppins. In fact, you were both still in your pajamas eating the spread you had both ordered from room service. Scrambled eggs, waffles, bacon, and fruit separated the two of you on your bed. You grabbed the maple syrup off the nightstand and drenched your waffles and eggs. “So what does a rest day include?” he inquired, after swallowing his food.

“Okay, so hear me out before you say no,” you replied, taking a bite of your waffle. “The pool-”

“Nope,” Bucky interrupted. He shook his head. “I don’t do pools.” You gave him an exasperated look. “Would you let me finish, Barnes?!” He narrowed his eyes and speared some grapefruit. “As I was saying,” you huffed, “this hotel has private cabanas we can rent. You can stay hidden under one, if you must, and I can swim my heart out.” Bucky considered your offer. It might be nice to relax under the shade instead of walking around a hot park.

“I’m wearing a shirt,” he replied, stubbornly. “And I probably won’t go in.” You rolled your eyes at his demands. “You can do whatever you want. Don’t worry, I won’t push you in.” The idea of you trying to force him into the pool made him snort.

“Anything you want to do on our rest day?” you asked. “Yeah,” Bucky said. “Can we go to the arcade? I saw it on our way to the monorail.”

“Of course! We can go there first. I can kick your butt at skeeball,” you taunted. Bucky flicked some scrambled egg at you and laughed.

You and Bucky finished eating and got dressed for the pool. You wore a top and shorts over your swimsuit, and Bucky wore a pair of workout shorts and a henley. He didn’t think to actually pack a real bathing suit before he left New York.

You kept teasing Bucky about your awesome gaming skills as you walked into the arcade. You bought a game card to split between the two of you and got started. Bucky bounded over to the air hockey table and raised his eyebrows in a challenge. You stood on the opposite end and swiped the game card. A puck released and the game began.

Bucky was a natural. He blocked all of your attacks and managed to get the upper hand fairly quickly. You bit your bottom lip as you tried to get the best of him, but when the timer buzzed, he had scored 10 points to your measly 3. “I thought you could kick my butt,” he teased. You pointed your hockey disk at him. “I said I could kick your butt at skeeball, not air hockey.”

You walked past him over to the skeeball machines. You swiped the card and started one game for you and one for Bucky. The balls rolled down and you went to work. After your third consecutive 10,000 shot, Bucky stopped to stare at you. He thought he had excellent aim, but he was clearly out of his element in this game. He kept launching the balls too hard, so they bounced right to the back of the baseboard and down in the 100 point rings. His strength helped him during the hockey game, but it was obviously a poor strategy for skeeball.

This time, you owned Bucky with a 100,000 point game. You did a little victory dance in front of your machine. He laughed and pushed you away. “We actually used to have skeeball machines in the arcades when I was a kid,” he said as you walked to the pinball section. “Then why are you so bad at it?” you asked with a chuckle. He shoved your shoulder again and picked a pinball game. You left him to it as you went to find some games of your own.

By the time Bucky finished a few rounds of pinball, you had scored 10 goals in basketball, shot space invaders out of the sky, and rocked another three games of skeeball. You walked over and handed him the card so he could play the last of the credits. Bucky swiped the card for one more game of pinball and you watched over his shoulder. He made it all the way to the bonus round but missed the last ball. The game chirped as it ended and displayed his score. “Personal best!” he said, triumphantly.

You left the arcade and made your way outside. Thankfully, it was a fairly quiet day at the pool as families enjoyed the theme parks. You checked in at the outside bar for your cabana and were led to one near the end of the pool. It had two comfy, padded lounge chairs and a fridge stocked with drinks. There was even a TV attached to one frame and a fan spinning lazily on the ceiling.

You unlooped the curtains on the cabana so Bucky would have some privacy. He had been glancing around nervously ever since you got outside, and he was covering his metal hand with the sleeve of his shirt. He sat down under the safety of the shade, and the curtain all but blocked him from the view of pool-goers. He let himself be enveloped by the warm cushions and managed to relax. You tossed your shirt and shorts on the other chair and headed outside. “You sure you don’t want to come?” you asked. Bucky shook his head sleepily. “M’ fine here.”

Bucky was completely content to sleep on the cabana chair as you swam and sat out in the sun all afternoon. You came back in at one point and flicked Bucky with some cold water. He startled awake and glared at you. “Hungry?” you asked. Bucky’s stomach rumbled and he nodded sheepishly. You ordered some food and spent lunchtime chatting about everything and nothing at the same time. The conversation flowed naturally between the two of you, and you enjoyed watching Bucky relax and be himself. He was fairly reserved and it had taken some time before your friendship developed. You hoped the experience of this trip would reverberate back to his life in New York.

“I’m heading back in,” you announced after you had let your food digest for a little bit. “The water feels awesome. Think about coming in?” You didn’t wait for his answer and stepped back out into the sunlight.

Bucky eventually gathered the courage to peek around the cabana’s curtain. He saw a few families swimming at the other end, but other than that, there really weren’t a lot of people. He tentatively stepped outside, tugged his shirt sleeve down, and walked over to the pool’s edge. No one paid any attention to him as he lowered himself to the ground and stuck his feet in the water. It felt cool and refreshing against his hot skin.

You had just finished swimming a lap when you saw Bucky sitting on the ledge of the pool. You swam up to him and grabbed the wall next to him. You pretended to rub your eyes, stare at Bucky and rub them again. He splashed some water on you and you squeaked. “It’s not so bad,” he admitted.

You tested boundaries by splashing some water on his knees. He yelped in surprise but didn’t get out. He lifted one of his legs and stomped on the water. The cool water soaked the parts of you that had dried in the sun. You spluttered and shook your head. Bucky laughed at your dramatic reaction. You slapped him with water one more time for good measure then resumed your swim.

You decided to call it quits around early evening and get ready for dinner. “What’s the plan for tonight?” Bucky yelled over the sound of your hair dryer. You held up a finger asking for a minute as you finished up. You shook and scrunched your hair into waves after clicking off the hair dryer. “There’s a cool place called Downtown Disney not far from here,” you said. “It’s like a big shopping district. One of the restaurants has waterfront dining.” Bucky perked up when he heard that last bit. He loved the idea of eating on the water again.

“Well, hurry up then!” he exclaimed. You finished getting ready and grabbed your car keys. “Trust me, we’re better off driving,” you said, noticing Bucky’s confused expression. You left the room and made your way to the parking garage. Your SUV sat patiently where you had parked it four days before.

The drive to Downtown Disney was quick. You parked right near The Boathouse and took some pictures near the docks before going inside for your reservation. You ordered shrimp mac and cheese while Bucky got the steak and crab combo. This was by far the fanciest place you had eaten on this trip, and the food was amazing. You and Bucky sat right next to the water and watched the sunset paint the water with brilliant hues of yellow and orange.

After dinner, you insisted that the two of you ride the Marketplace Carousel. Bucky felt ridiculous sitting atop a fake horse as it moved around a circle, but you looked like you were having the time of your life. He took a picture of you on your horse and then managed to get a selfie with both of you. As he flipped through the pictures, he realized he would never do things like this back in New York. One thing Bucky really liked about Disney was the ability to act like a child and get away with it.

Bucky decided to continue this theme of childlike wonder and led you to the LEGO store. You spent almost an half an hour taking selfies with the huge LEGO models. Bucky pretended to be burned under Maleficent's fire while you danced with Belle and the Beast. Of course, you and Bucky couldn’t pass up the opportunity to get a picture with Buzz and Woody. You pretended to be Buzz and grabbed Bucky’s waist from behind as you prepared to be lifted in the sky by a rocket. When you finally got inside, you both played with the different kits set up around the store. Bucky make a small version of the Quinjet while you created an X-Wing from the newest Star Wars movie.

You stopped by the pin store and got Bucky a lanyard and some pins of his favorite characters from the trip. He took his time picking out his pins, and you giggled at his absolute concentration. Bucky insisted on stopping in the candy store afterwards to get some Mickey-shaped chocolate.

As you continued to walk around Downtown Disney, the crowd was in full swing. The sun completely disappeared from the sky and the moon shone brightly with the various lamps, store lights, and string lights on the streets. You had enough foresight this time to bring your sweatshirt along, so you quickly pulled it over your tshirt when the temperature began to drop. You stopped in front of a store called D Street.

“You need a Disney sweatshirt,” you commanded to Bucky. “I don’t really get cold, remember?” he replied. It was true. Thanks to the serum, his body temperature adapted to his surroundings. You paused for a moment. He needed some type of wearable souvenir from this trip…

“I’ve got it!” you exclaimed, pulling him inside the store. One the first day of the trip, Bucky would have been apprehensive to follow you when you got excited like this. But now, after everything he’d experienced so far, he knew most of your plans usually turned out to be pretty cool.

You led him past the clothing section directly to the hat section. Specifically, the Mickey ears section. “Okay, so since you don’t want a sweatshirt, you definitely need a pair of Mickey ears,” you said, holding a rainbow pair up for consideration.

Okay, Bucky took back his previous thought. This was ridiculous. He was going to LOOK ridiculous wearing a pair of Mickey ears. Noticing his apprehension, you held up the pair you were holding and gave him a goofy grin.

“You don’t need to wear them when we get home,” you explained. “It’s more of a fun souvenir to help you remember the trip. You can even get your name stitched on the back!” You grabbed a purple pair of ears and put them on your own head, grinning widely.

He carefully took the rainbow pair your handed him and considered your offer. Moving over to the mirror, he put them on his own head. He couldn’t help but smile at the scene in front of him. You were standing next to him in your oversized sweatshirt still chomping on your chocolate Mickey ears. The bright purple Mickey ears were a sharp contrast to the dark sweatshirt. Both of your cheeks were flushed pink from being out in the sun all day. Bucky was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and a pair of basketball shorts with a pair of rainbow Mickey ears on his head. You both looked absolutely ridiculous, but he also looked...happy.

Bucky took the rainbow ears off and put them back on the rack. He scanned the other styles and his eyes landed on a pair of navy blue and black ears. He examined the Mickey image on the front and then turn the ears over. The back was a blank canvas, and he could picture silver thread spelling out his name in loopy cursive. He picked them up, walked back over to the mirror and put them on his head. They were perfect. Smiling brightly, he turned to you.

“I love it!” You clapped your hands excitedly and took the hats over to the stitching table. Once the retail workers had finished sewing your names on your respective hats, you put them on and walked back outside.

Bucky pulled you back over to the waterfront restaurant and stood near the dock. He took out his phone and pulled you in against his side. He took a selfie and turned the phone around to examine the picture.

Even though it was dark out, the lamps from the restaurant and dock created a halo of light around your frames. You stood cheek-to-cheek and the glimmer from the water peeked through from behind you. The Mickey ears you both bought earlier sat proudly atop your heads, and your smiles lit up your faces.

You stared at the picture, your heart filling up with joy. It seemed to combine every happy moment from the trip in one beautiful shot. “I love it,” you said, softly. “Make sure you text it to me.”

Bucky nodded and looped his arm through yours and you walked back to the car. Nothing could erase the bright smiles stretching across your faces.

#bucky x reader #Bucky Barnes is a cinnamon roll #fluff #fluffy bucky #roadtrip bucky #road trip #disney world #downtown disney #let's get out of here

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slrlounge1 · 5 years

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Four Decades Later: An Interview with Rick Friedman | SLR Lounge Artist Feature

Our “SLR Lounge Artist Feature” articles highlight some of the very best photographers in the world. This article features award-winning photographer Rick Friedman of Rick Friedman Photography (Boston, MA). Rick has been a photographer for going on four decades, getting his start in photojournalism in the mid 1970s. We recently met Rick while hanging out near the Tamron booth at WPPI 2019, and got to know him a bit further over a few emails and phone calls. So, what’s Rick up to in 2019? Well, read on and be inspired by a true master of photography, lighting, and story telling!

[Related: “Interview with Kate Woodman | SLR Lounge Artist Feature (NSFW)”]

Thanks so much for taking the time for an interview, Rick. Could you start out by talking a bit about how you got into photography?

When I got out of college, I was working as a teacher and got a part time job working at a camera store in Harvard Square [mid 1970s]. Soon after, they offered me a full-time job, and I didn’t go back to teaching. A couple people that would come into that store had a big influence on me and my career. One was George Riley, who worked for UPI (United Press International). George was always willing to teach any young photographer the trade, as long as they were willing to put in the time.

The other person was Arthur Grace, who, at the time, was working for Time. But it was really George Riley who taught me how to be a photojournalist. And, more and more, I began working for UPI on a regular basis.

By a fluke, I went and took a photograph of Arthur Fiedler, long-time conductor of the Boston Pops Orchestra. On a whim, I went and rang his doorbell. I asked if I could photograph him, and he said I could. It was the fist time in 50 years that he would not be conducting on July 4th. I took a roll of black and white for UPI and a roll of Ektachrome, but no one was interested in the color. Undaunted, I called Black Star, and they were interested. Now, at that time, you mailed in the film. You didn’t develop it. You overnighted it. Unfortunately, Mr. Fiedler passed away while the film was in transit. Of course, everyone called me back and wanted the film, but Black Star had it. And from there, I suddenly had a connection at Black Star.

My first real assignment for Black Star was to cover Pope John Paul II coming to the US. And that was the beginning of a twenty-eight-year relationship with Black Star. All done on a handshake. What a nice way to do work, right? Within a short time, I was also regularly doing assignments for Newsweek. And I am still an active photojournalist today, currently represented by Polaris Images.

You’ve covered several presidents and are still covering politics. How has the landscaped changed? What’s a piece of advice you’d give someone looking to cover politics as a photojournalist?

Well, from the very beginning, I loved covering early presidential campaigns. You quite simply have more access. It’s before the motorcades, the crowds, Secret Service, and all the security.

When I first started, I did a little bit with Carter and did a lot on the Reagan v. Bush campaign. My first Newsweek cover was actually when Reagan won the New Hampshire primary. I was on assignment to cover Bush. After Reagan won, I photographed Bush’s speech and then drove from Manchester to Concord, dumped my car in a snow bank and ran into the room, setting up 15 minutes before Reagan’s speech. I got a photograph of Reagan that made the cover of Newsweek.

Of course, today, you can’t do that. You can’t just walk into the room 15 minutes before a high-profile politician is about to speak. It’s unheard of. But yeah, it’s the access that you have early on that makes it fun. When they’re campaigning in a bar with twenty people, for example …

And as far as advice? Be nice. When you are covering a campaign early on, introduce yourself to everyone, especially security and police. Because when access is restricted or they’re only allowing in three photographers? They’ll remember you and let you in.

You have photographed quite a few celebrities, and also regularly photograph professors from local universities. That’s a diverse, and very interesting, clientele for head shots. How do you make that happen, i.e. get a celebrity to be comfortable with you or relate to a professor who is an expert in area with which you aren’t familiar?

When you deal with celebrities, you, of course, get a ‘Do and Do Not List’ from their people. For Anthony Hopkins, for example, the entire ‘Do Not List’ was simply that I couldn’t have anyone on set who wasn’t working. We spent an hour with him, telling jokes, etc. In preparation, I watched several of his earliest movies. And I asked him, because I was wondering about it, if he ever went, wearing a disguise, to see how people reacted to his movies when he first started out. He said he didn’t have to wear a disguise, because no one knew who he was! He couldn’t have been nicer.

Basically, my rule is to know everything I can about a subject before I photograph them. You have to be able to talk to your subjects/ask them a question about what they do. It accomplishes a couple of things. First, it breaks down any barriers. Second, it helps them relax, because it shows them that you care enough about what they do to learn something about it.

And it’s similar with professors. I photographed, as another example, a professor of physics, where I had 15 minutes to photograph her. In fact, I had been reading up on physics for three days in advance of the session: textbooks and some work on string theory, which was her area of expertise. I asked a few questions, and she asked how long I’d been studying physics. I told her three days, and our 15 minutes became an hour. And then we had lunch.

So, that’s how you get through to a subject. Realistically, anyone can buy a camera and push a button. Not everyone knows what to do with their subject to create a photograph …

You’re well-known for your lighting workshops, and your Location Lighting Workshops in particular. What are a few of your go-to lighting tips for lighting “on location”?

First, know your lighting equipment.

Second, do your best to plan everything out in advance, so you are ready for any possible situation.

Third, know how to control your light and plan what light modifiers you might need. For example, I will often mix speedlights and portable studio strobes. For speedlights I use Nissin Flashes. In the studio I use Dynalite, and on location I use Dynalite Baja portable strobes.

On major shoots, I will bing several sizes of soft boxes, strip lights, grid sets, gobos, and, of course, my Sekonic flash meter. If I am using speedlights, I’ll bring Rogue Flashbender XL2 and Rogue Grid sets. I also work a lot using Rosco gels and cinefoil. On some shoots the gels become a major part of the final photograph, and, other times, I might just use a 1/2 CTO (orange filter) to bring out warm highlights in the hair …

The photograph above is a good example of a quick lighting set up. The model in the photograph is my former assistant Hyunah Jang, who is now a successful photographer in the San Francisco area. And that’s the basis of what I teach in my Location Lighting Workshops, I teach across the US and UK.

Likely, most photographers reading this interview are wondering how you are still rocking it some 40 years later? It’s impressive! So, can you give us your secret?

It’s fun. I love the challenge of all the different kinds of work I get to do. I could be covering the President one day, a noted scientist or professor the next, and then be off on a travel story overseas. Truly, I have the best job in the world. I get to jump in and out of people’s lives. I describe it like this: I have gotten my college education one hour at a time, from some of the greatest minds in the world.

And one last question, Rick! Who and/or what companies are you working with that make your job that much more enjoyable?

First off, I have a wonderful photography partner (pictured above). Her name is Keiko Hiromi, and we’ve been working together for 15 years now, even though she is an award-winning photographer in her own right. As far as companies and products, I only have relationships with companies whose products I actually use and have used for years. I am very proud to represent Tamron as an official Tamron Ambassador, and with Rosco, I created the Rosco Location Lighting Kit by Rick Friedman. I also work with the following companies that I didn’t mention in the interview already: Click Props Backdrop, ExpoImaging, Hoodman, LensBaby, Mindshift, PocketWizard, and ThinkTank Photo.

You can check out more of Rick Friedman’s work on his website. Also, be sure to connect with him over on Facebook and Instagram as well. Finally, you can learn more about his upcoming education events and lighting workshops here, including the Can Am Photo Expo (Buffalo, NY, from April 26-28, 2019), a Tamron Benefit Seminar for the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life (Commack, NY, May 2, 2019), and his next Location Lighting Workshop at Cardinal Camera in (Lansdale, PA, May 4, 2019).

Thanks for checking out our latest artist feature! Quick reminder before you go! Don’t forget to submit by the April 30 deadline to be considered for SLR Lounge’s April 2019 awards competition. Remember that anyone can sign up for an SLR Lounge account for free and submit. However, Premium Members are able to submit up to three photographs each month!

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eddiejpoplar · 5 years

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TEST DRIVE: 2019 BMW X5 xDrive40i — Bavaria’s Best SUV

Let’s start this review out buy saying the new-generation of BMW X5 (G05) is excellent. It’s everything I hoped it would be and then some. But before we talk about it and how good it is, we have to take a short trip backward, into the past, for a bit of a history lesson on the original X5 (E53).

Back in 1999, BMW released its first ever SUV. Not only did it release its first ever SUV but that very SUV was the first BMW to ever be built in America at the brand’s then-new Spartanburg, South Carolina plant. Now, Spartanburg is a powerhouse of manufacturing, building all of BMW’s rear-drive SUVs for the entire world market. In fact, it’s one of the largest auto manufacturing plants in the U.S., regardless of brand, and the X5 is one of BMW’s best-selling, most important vehicles. In hindsight, it’s easy to see how much of a slam dunk all of this was. However, it wasn’t always so clear.

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Before the BMW first debuted the X5, it’s announcement was not met with a warm welcome from BMW enthusiasts. The idea of their favorite Bavarians developing a big, heavy, bulky SUV rather than a small, slinky sports car, was downright heretical. Once it hit the road though, critics and customers alike were smitten. Journalists waxed poetic about the original X5’s ability to blend SUV-levels of practicality with sport-sedan engagement, while hundreds of thousands of customer put X5s in their driveways because of it. It was a smash hit and deservedly so. It was truly the first car to provide the luxury and comfort of premium SUV while still delivering the driving dynamics and positive driver feel of a smaller sport sedan.

We’re talking about the original X5 is because this new one reminds me of it. In fact, I think it’s even better and possibly the best SUV BMW has ever made.

The specific model I had the opportunity of driving for a week was the BMW X5 xDrive40i xLine, meaning it was the base model X5 with the 3.0 liter inline-six engine and in its standard trim level. However, my specific tester was loaded to the brim with optional extras, bringing the price to a not-so-insignificant $76,070 after destination. For context, the much larger, more luxurious, seven-passenger BMW X7 starts at about $75,000 after destination. Still, it’s the BMW X5 you want unless you absolutely need the extra space.

The term “base model” might not sound very premium but that’s irrelevant here because the X5, even in its lowest xDrive40i spec, is absolutely lovely and I’d seriously be surprised if any customer wanted more from it. That “base” engine is BMW’s B58 3.0 liter turbocharged I6 and it makes 335 hp and 330 lb-ft of torque. That’s slightly less torque than you’ll find in other Bimmers with the same engine but, believe me, it won’t leave you wanting for more shove.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it until my lungs fail, BMW’s B58 engine is one of the very best six-cylinder engines on the planet and its ample power, smooth delivery and growly noise make fun and easy work of hustling the big BMW X5 around. Especially when paired with its eight-speed ZF automatic gearbox, which when left to its own devices is near-telepathic in delivering the desired gear. It’s so good that I never once felt the need to take over myself and swap cogs with the paddles.

BMW claims the X5 xDrive40i can get from 0-60 mph in 5.3 seconds and that feels entirely believable. Though, it doesn’t matter. The new X5 is more than quick enough and provides ample shove, enough to put you back in your seat when you put your foot down. It also sounds good. From the outside, it starts with a subtle bark, which then settles into a quite growl. Even though it’s a family hauling SUV, it sounds like it has a proper BMW engine under its hood. Inside, at around town speeds or at idle, its virtually silent. Pin the throttle, though, and you’re treated to a raspy, metallic growl, however real it may or may not be. There’s definitely some speaker augmentation going on but it’s not absurd or ridiculous, though it does get louder and more noticeable in Sport mode. Still, the straight-six’s performance will never leave you wanting for the V8 and makes the more expensive X5 xDrive50i seem entirely unnecessary.

It’s engine isn’t what makes the BMW X5 so brilliant, though. That engine is in every six-cylinder non-M BMW at the moment. So it’s greatness is expected. What makes the new G05 X5 so great, and what draws comparisons to its original predecessor, is how it moves and how it feels around you.

Despite being a big, heavy SUV, the new BMW X5 drives with the deftness and agility of a much smaller sport sedan. While it might not be G20 3 Series-like, it’s not as far off as its size would imply. The chassis feels light and athletic and it gives you the impression that it’s rotating around you, the driver, like a good Bimmer should. Its steering is also excellent for an SUV. It’s light in weight but it loads up nicely as you turn off center and BMW’s new variable-ratio steering is far more progressive than it used to be; allowing you to lean on it and be confidant that it will deliver what you ask of it.

My tester was fitted with the optional two-axle air suspension, which is entirely worth the money. With it comes 5 different height settings, allowing you to jack the ride height up for extra clearance or drop it down for better dynamics. In Comfort and its middle height setting, it does a great job of really smothering bumps and road imperfections, while avoiding feeling floaty or smushy. Even in Comfort, it’s always composed and ready to handle a sharp corner or two. Put it in Sport mode and drop the suspension down a bit and it tightens up, allowing the big Bavarian to handle with far better athleticism and fun than you’d expect from a car of its size. All while never losing its compliance or comfort.

When it’s time to settle down and cruise, the BMW X5 is more than capable as well. Its cabin is quiet, with the only noise I can recall coming from its brand-new Pirelli Scorpion Zero all-season tires, and its ride is effortless, allowing cross-continent trips without an ounce of fatigue. I did a couple of long-ish trips in the X5 during my week with it and could have easily driven for hours more. It’s a wonderful road-trip companion and makes even a trip to the store enjoyable.

All of this is reminiscent of the first X5. That car had the balance that BMW enthusiasts were used to, the near-perfect harmony of comfort and composure. The E53 was comfortable, quiet, luxurious and spacious while also delivering BMW-like athletics and that same positive driver feedback that had become synonymous with the blue and white Roundel. Never since its first generation has the X5 so deftly walked that line between luxury and agility, comfort and precision. And I think this new one is even better, simply because it does so while offering so much more.

Like the original, the G05 X5’s interior has some of the best build quality in the industry, is flush with beautiful materials and has a subtle but elegant design. Now, though, it’s packed with more technology than a Silicon Valley break room. BMW’s latest iDrive system is the best infotainment system ever fitted to an automobile and that isn’t hyperbole. It’s slick and easy to use, features sharp graphics and an intuitive layout. Its new digital instrument panel is also great to look at and use, even if it falls short of Audi’s Virtual Cockpit in terms of configurability.

Then there’s BMW’s digital A.I assistant with natural voice recognition. So just say “Hey, BMW” (or whatever activation phrase you program for it) and it activates — like Apple’s Siri or Amazon’s Alexa — allowing you to ask it to do any number of things; everything from navigation instructions to changing the interior temperature. It works well enough but does sometimes misunderstand commands. The absolute best feature, though, is the X5’s heated/cooled cupholders. Why that isn’t as-standard on all vehicles I’ve yet to understand.

Still, all of that tech is quiet tech; always in the background and never in your face. So it just feels like a really lovely car interior and never feels like a rolling computer, which helps the BMW X5 to be relaxing. There isn’t that feeling of busyness or that overwhelming sense of a learning curve felt in a lot of modern high-tech luxury caras.

One incredible piece of kit that doesn’t sit in the background is the laser headlight option. To be honest, driving this X5 tester was my first ever experience with laser headlights and they’re amazing. They’re not great, they’re not good, they’re absolutely amazing. While driving through some especially dark roads near my house, turning them on was like turning on the sun. I don’t know the exact figures for how far they shine but it seemed like two football fields of light in front of the car. With the high beams on, it might as well have been daylight. Incredible and worth the money. Plus, they look awesome from the outside.

Not only is this new X5 the most high-tech of them all, it’s also more premium than ever before. While it competes in the same segment as its forefather and is priced where it should be, it feels like it’s a step above any X5 before it. Its thoughtful design, rich leather, premium materials and stunning ambient lighting all make it feel like a more luxurious and expensive car than all of its predecessors, even while factoring in their age. Honestly, I’d rather sit in the X5 than in the 7 Series and never could that be said before.

After the original E53-gen BMW X5, its successors became more focused on luxury, comfort and practicality, shifting the original’s balance more to one side. Now, though, that balance is has been restored. The G05-generation BMW X5 once again has the beloved Bavarian blend of comfort and agility. Except this time it offers more of it all than ever before. Because of that, I truly believe that it’s the best BMW SUV ever made.

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mariokelliher5-blog · 6 years

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What To Know about Bee Removal GA And Bee Protecting Tools

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ozsaill · 6 years

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Holiday gifts that cruisers want

As avowed minimalists, this feels slightly awkward putting a post of holiday gifts together. But the reality is that there are useful needs to meet in a life afloat. This peek into what works hopefully aids those anticipating a similar path: a personal look what’s worked for us, and what’s on our wish list, as idea fodder for gifts to the the sailors in your life. It’s organized into four angles:

Best additions to Totem this year

Wish list: functional gifts

Wish list: what the crew really wants!

Especially for kids

I. Best additions to Totem this year

This is a shortlist of items that had the biggest positive impact on board in the last year. Some are practical, some are just for fun / quality of life, a few are a bit of both.

Paddleboard – finally got one on board after The Great Kayak Debacle of 2016. Weighing pros/cons, we picked the durability of a fixed board over a space-saving inflatable. A shorter (10’) Jimmy Styx model (year-end closeout!) is right-sized for our humans and has provided hours of fun and fitness. Siobhan paddles in front of Totem, photo at top.

Underwater dome lens – talk about bang for the buck. Only $50 to get some of my favoritest pictures ever. Just fit the GoPro inside and swim! It’s so flippin’ cool to have split images with above/below water…like this one showing Totem floating in crystal Bahamian water while a nurse shark dozes on the sand below.

Pic made possible with a dome port lens over GoPro. Me on deck, Jamie in the water; Staniel Cay, Bahamas.

Winches – Jamie likes to fondle our new Andersen stainless steel winches. No, seriously. Aside from the fact they are incredibly sexy mirror-finish stainless, the engineering of these makes them a better mousetrap, starting with guts that require less maintenance. Ribs on the drum don’t need as many wraps for sufficient friction, and they’re kinder to lines than conventional drum texturing. Jamie is all the warm fuzzies from that ribbed drum. I kinda want to get a lascivious picture of him with one.

Mantus scuba– we used to wish for dive gear on Totem, but it never made sense; a mix of upfront cost, equipment x 5 crew, limited space, and just not being die-hard divers. But we do really like getting underwater…a lot! Adding a pair of Mantus tanks has been perfect. Good fun for more marine exploring beyond our freediving skills, plus peace of mind as added safety equipment (invaluable if an anchor fouled below freediving depth / hang time capability).

Kids dive with Mantus scuba. There’s that dome port lens again too!

ACR ResQLink+. This personal locater beacon (PLB) was added to our safety kit for taking off to the Bahamas and beyond. My worst nightmare is losing on-watch crew overboard; I still worry when Jamie’s on watch and I’m “sleeping” off watch – these help me actually relax, knowing he’s basically attached to an EPIRB.

Drone – we picked up a Phantom 3 pro during the post-holiday-sales last year. I know, have been lame about sharing the footage (will provide room & board on Totem for anyone who can train us up!) but – WOW. The images are amazing! I love the bird’s eye view it offers of our life afloat! New Years Resolution: learn editing and share some videos. I’m not kidding about hosting someone who can school us! (Aline are you reading?! )

Culebra, Puerto Rico

Dinghy. When our trusty Avon finally gave up (well, it was 19 years old) in Thailand, the Highfield we replaced it with was… suboptimal. Not big enough, didn’t ride as well. A dinghy is one of the most frequently used bits of gear on board so we felt the gap. The 10.5’ AB (aluminum, double floor, bow locker) we picked up at Tradewind Yachting Services in Nanny Cay in September is AWESOME.

TOTEM shirts! New earlier this year, we adore these super-soft, organic cotton shirts and LOVE seeing people wear them. If you order Totem gear (Ts, caps and a hemp market bag too), send us a picture!

Show your (neutral, water-based) colors with a yummy soft Totem Tshirt!

II. Wish list: practical

The next set… well, they aren’t exactly sexy holiday gifts. But the way our family looks at the world is in more practical term (I just realized how crazy that probably sounds to a lot of readers- yes, chucking convention to live on a boat with no fixed address is very practical. Really!): these are the practical wish-list expenditures. Right now we’re saving all our pennies to transit the Panama Canal but; some of these we expect (chaps, shade) others are less likely.

Dinghy chaps. Fabric covers fitted to the hypalon tubes extend their life by preventing chafe and reducing UV exposure. These are labor intensive and custom made, haven’t rationalized this expense just yet.

Outboard. Dinghy theme lately? Our outboard has been struggling for over a year, something that dependably gets a full load on a plane would be sweet. This 15hp Yamaha would do us right.

Repaint Totem’s hull. It’s so beat up, the guys working in the shipyard in Grenada were laughing at us—all in good fun—and asking if they could give her a makeover! Hey, there’s a dugout canoe associated with almost every ding, those are good memories…OK yeah it would be nice to have a pretty boat again.

Cockpit shade. We have an AWESOME, pretty new (2016) bimini frame (thank you to the great guys at TurboXS!)…but it still lacks the whole fabric-shade-that-attaches-to-it part. It will be really nice to get the last mile of this addition completed.

Sailrite. We’ve gone back and forth on these durable sewing machines. Cons: machines need to be used to stay workable; they are heavy, and they take up a chunk of storage. But in the Pro column: Jamie could do a lot with one, like dinghy chaps and cockpit shade! He’s a sailmaker, used to be a hands-on in the pit guy and knows his way around a pro machine. Our M.O. to date: Jamie fixes other cruiser’s Sailrites that have stopped working after languishing in a locker by bartering for usage to get a project done.

Making our dodger soft sides in Jacksonville: thanks Patty!

Countertops. The formica installed in Thailand, unfortunately, is not good. It’s a long story. But the formica is nearly worn through, the trim wasn’t done right, and a bunch of other stuff. For the Someday files. Solid surfacing would be so dreamy!

Solid state external drives. The movable parts on hard drives, in computers and external drives, have shorter lifespans with the small constant motions of a boat. SSDs would be less prone to failure. The multiple of expense is unfortunate (and almost rationalized by failed drives!). The only downside: external SSDs are mostly small, so you’d need a bunch to accomodate all the photo and video files a family accumulates. Sample: this Samsung 2TB drive, ~$800.

III. Wish list: just for fun

What’s your heart’s desire? I asked everyone on board to contribute their “wish” gift idea for something they have zero need for, but a dose of desire. This turned out to be difficult: we are pretty good at being satisfied with what we have instead of craving what the boat next door has! But there are some great ways to be indulgent on board. The top five are our personal picks, the rest are from family brainstorming.

Niall: PADI dive certification. (shhh: I think we figured out how to do this affordably enough in Bonaire next month! He doesn’t read the blog – don’t spill the beans anyone!!)

Mairen: horseback riding. (still with the experiences. C’mon Mairen it’s about Stuff! She never got beyond “more art supplies then?”)

Siobhan: a puppy. KIDDING. Except she wasn’t. Her BATNA wish is to have any book she wants for a year. Qualified with “you know I use the library mostly.” People, she reads a LOT. Thank goodness for ebook loans from our hometown library!

Jamie: Code zero with a continuous line furler on a sprit. Because the sailmaker’s boat is a little bit like the cobblerss kids… often wanting. Here’s why Jamie thinks this is a winner sail for cruisers.

Behan: fancypants freediving fins, and lessons to go with them. (As long as we’re daydreaming, I’d learn from supermama and freediving champion Ashley Chapman at Evolve Freediving, with a whole- family lesson!)

More Totem crew wish-list picks that may generate ideas for giftees on your list:

Water-friendly drone. We’re having so much fun with the ‘regular’ drone, imagine one that lands on the water, or follows behind the dinghy – saltwater spray be damned?! This very cool looking Splash Drone 3 lands on the water and floats. Whoa. Or the QuadH2O: double whoa.

Mini home theater projector. We watched movies outside on the Delos deck once upon a time; I harbor dreams of hosting anchorage movie nights with a film displayed on a sail “screen.” One that’s bright enough, not to big, and doesn’t draw too much power, decent speakers…or 3 out of 4. Like this maybe (and wow, that’s a good price!)?

New computer. OK, not family but Jamie. The Toughbook that is our navigation computer doubles as his personal machine, but doesn’t play well with Windows 10. Newer models do. Still a big fan of Toughbooks for their durability on board.

Camera equipment. Better underwater shots with an Olympus Tough: the GoPro is awesome for environmental shots, but fails on macro, and those are fun to take underwater. Above sea level, I traded in all my Nikon gear to migrate towards Sony’s mirrorless a7 series, and will always be drooling over lenses.

A dozen Luci lights. We have one and it’s fantastic: indulgent wish list version,- how cool would a strand of them be hung tiki-light style around the cockpit?!

IV. Just for kids

The genesis of this year’s list is a question fom one of our coaching clients. Less than a year from taking off cruising and looking for Christmas gift ideas for their four children, they had this assignment for our kids: “What is 1-2 things do they wished they had or have had on the boat, and what are their favorite 3 things/toys they cannot live without?” Simplifying slightly I asked our kids what things on the boat were most important to them. Turns out phrasing matters. Answer #1: friends. Their friend showed up a few minutes later; asked the same questions she looked at me as if to say “duh” and said – “My family, of course.” It took a lot of prompting to come up with Things You Put Under a Christmas tree. But we got there, and this is good!

Quality snorkeling gear: mask, snorkel, fins…also good rashguard and wetsuits. Shorties are great for extending in-water time! Many cruisers (and most boat kids) spend a lot of time in the water; get good stuff that won’t fall apart, it’s harder after you leave. The kids really like the masks they got from Divers Direct in Florida this year, and they’re very reasonably priced (holiday sale: $40?!).

Beach fun: boogie boards and beach bocce are our favorites.

Fishing kit. Get kids their own tackle box, handline, a net to grab stuff that goes overboard; even a Hawaiian sling spear if they can handle it.

Field guides. Not kid books, but GOOD field guides. Identification of underwater life was a big hit from the time we started cruising with littles. Region-specific matters, I believe: the Gottshall two-book set is amazing for Pacific Mexico; DeLoach guides rule for the Caribbean: one for Reef Fish, one for Coral, one for, well, everything else (Reef Creatures).

Scooters. Bikes are impractical; kids like wheels and folding scooters fit. Utility varies by cruising grounds (not a lot of roads in some oceanic regions!), but these are great get-around fun.

Arts & crafts. I’m not very crafty, so packaged kits like Klutz are perfect for me. Getting good materials will serve you later: these watercolors are richly pigmented and last a long time. Oragami, beading, or whatever! There are lists for this in Voyaging with Kids.

Chocolate. Yes this was on their list. Clearly these are my children.

Board games, cards. Our current favorite is Dread Pirate (thank you Sallianne and Doug!). Try cooperative games! Family Pastimes games got us started… Pandemic is the classic. This post about games cruisers play lists a number of other favorites on board.

Legos. Our lego days are over, but the kids know these are huge for the younger set.

Totem and Utopia, rafted up for Thanksgiving last week: because 1) better with friends and 2) drones rock!

Want more ideas?

Here are the Christmas gift posts from the last few years. They’re all aimed at cruisers, but each with a slightly different take:

Gifts that give a little more (2016). Focusing on sourcing gifts that contribute in some way to a greater good than just the Thing.

Gifts under $50 for sailors (2015). Keeping the costs contained! OK, there was one item over $50.

Gifts for cruisers (2014). Tried & true: fun, functional gifts that cruisers can use.

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gastro-nomique · 7 years

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MPMK Preview Gift Guides: The Hottest Toys of the Year!

It’s that last day of September, which means I am furiously working on this year’s gift guides (I’ve actually left my family and stashed myself away for the entire weekend to do so!)

There’s still plenty of work to do, but I couldn’t help but give you this sneak peek in the meantime. Enjoy…

Fingerlings – Interactive Baby Monkeys

(Ages 4 – 12) Starting at $14.99

These adorable finger-sized animatronic monkeys are the “It Toy” of the year. In fact, it’s the end of September as I’m releasing my gift guides and they’re already completely selling out everywhere.

If you get the chance to buy one- do it!! (Even if you end up getting something else for your kids, you will be able to make bank on eBay come December.)

So what’s all the hype about?

These pets react to sound, to motion, and to touch. They love to hang onto your kids’ fingers, backpacks, other toys and pretty much everything else.

With over 40 animations, kids can rock them to sleep, blow them kisses (and have them blown back), make them sing, and much more.

Like a lot of the hot toys out this year, they’re also incredibly life-like. They blink their eyes, turn their heads, swing by their tails, fart, and more. Plus, if you can get them at retail price – they’re cheap!!

And if the Toy Gods are really smiling down on you and you can find them, I also suggest both the Fingerlings Playset…

And the Fingerlings Jungle Gym for even more extended play time fun (as well as a handy place to store the little guys so they don’t get lost).

Another way to go are these 40 Piece Money Stix sets that seem to have been quickly produced by an industrious 3rd party company.

I am really digging that with this playset version kids get to engineer their own set ups for their fingerlings, plus it’s not another bulky toy to have to store somewhere.

LEGO Boost Creative Toolbox Building and Coding Kit

(Ages 7 – 12) $159.99

This is the toy that we’ve all been waiting for LEGO to make! Robotics and coding have become so incredibly huge in toys, in fact, that I’m really surprised it took this long.

I can (and will) tell you a lot more about this astounding kit but I HIGHLY RECOMMEND you watch thr short video below on this 837 piece set – you will be sold!

It demonstrates a lot of what your kids can build and do, including a super cool robot, a working LEGO 3D printer, a very cool working electric guitar and more!

Until now, if you wanted to parlay your kids’ love of all things LEGO into an interest in programming, your only real option was the very expensive LEGO Mindstorm kits, which are also geared more towards older LEGO builders.

At a cost of $200 less than the Mindstorm kits, the new LEGO Boost kit still has everything you need to get your kids building, programming and coding and – frankly – I think the builds are more fun and approachable, especially to kids who aren’t hardcore coders.

Like all building and programming toys, this one works with a free app that you download on your tablet or phone and what I really love is that the kit builds not one, but five different models. The above video showed the robot.

Here is the working 3D printer.

And here is the guitar… This toy does SO MUCH, I predict hours and hours of educational play with this one!

KIDS IMAGINE MERMAID PILLOWS

(ages 2 – 14) $47.99

If you’re a parent, you are likely familiar with the mermaid fabric trend. Kids absolutely cannot get enough of playing with and “drawing” on this magic fabric. (To be honest, either can I – each night when I lay with my 3-year-old, I just can’t stop myself from petting this pillow. It’s so, so relaxing.)

As such, these pillows from Mermaid Pillow Co. have become my new #1 suggestion for gifts from grandparents.

Why? Because grandparents like to buy things that have a big “Wow!” effect, they often don’t mind spending a little extra on their precious grandchildren for something that’s high quality, and if left unchecked grandparents can often misguidedly gift monsterous plastic toys that you would never normally allow into your home!

Mermaid Pillow Co. sent one of these pillows for each of my kiddos to review (I chose the “Sharks Think” for my 8-year-old son, the “Fairies Fly” for my 7-year-old daughter, and the “Dinosuars Discover” for my 3-year-old son.)

There are a couple of things I love about these particular pillows. First, the affirming messages are really cool – just the kind of encouraging note we try to hit in our parenting – and it was nice that there were so many to chose from! I was able to find one that perfectly suited each of my kids’ personalities and interests.

(I also love the message of this one.)

Second, I was very pleasantly suprised with how soft the front of the pillows were. You can never really tell when ordering from a website, but these are extremly well made and super soft. They came beautifully packaged and seemed like something I would have bought from a boutique.

Last, but not least, is the mermaid fabric! Every bit as addictive as you might think, this stuff can be played with for hours. It’s fun to draw designs in, to write on with your finger, and also acts as a really nice tool for relaxing at bedtime or calming down from a tantrum. I highly recommend!

Cozmo by Anki

(ages 3 – adult) $179.99

There are all the other robots on the market… and then there is Cozmo.

I have never seen anything like him and, trust me, you haven’t either. He’s basically a real-life Wall-E that you can bring home to the kids.

He has the things you want in this kind of toy; i.e. a very cool and continually growing programming platform and a free app that’s iOS and Android device compatible so kids can learn to code. But he also has SO MUCH more.

Thanks to artificial intelligence, Cozmo can express hundreds of emotions (his face is just like Eva’s from the movie Wall-E). From curious to clever, persistent to playful, he has personality x 10.

He also has facial recognition that allows him to get to know your name, face, and quirks. And best of all, he continues to evolve the more you hang out with him.

He’s not just a novelty toy though (I already mentioned he can help your kids learn to code and program) he’ll also play games with you.

In fact, Cozmo is a game-playing machine. Literally. Whether lifting his Power Cubes or challenging you to games like Quick Tap and Keepaway, he’s always up for action. And in Explorer Mode, Cozmo lets you guide him through his environment to see what he sees — day or night. Cozmo’s skills and games are constantly updating, so the fun never runs out.

If you’re even thinking about a robot for the kids this Christmas, this is the one to get- you won’t be sorry!

L.O.L Suprise Dolls

(Ages 5 – 12) Starting at $15.99

If there is one thing that elementary aged kids just can’t get enough of, it’s collectibles. From Shopkins and Funko to Pokeman cards, small things that they can hoard like crazy are like catnip to kids this age.

And since toy manufacturers aren’t dopes, there are a few brand new collectibles that are sure to fly off the shelves this year (seriously- buy one or two for each of the special kids in your life now while you can still get them and they’re not stupid expensive).

All the rage this year are the already uber-popular L.O.L. dolls. Let me just start by saying that every year when I start researching for the gift guides I tell myself I cannot start buying for my own kids until at least October… and every year I fail because I see something that I know they will love and I know will be hard to get later.

This year, this was the thing I couldn’t resist buying in September for my daughter.

Note: Because these things are so popular this year, there are a lot of imitations. When you buy, be sure the company is “L.O.L. Suprise” and that it is shipped and fulfilled by Amazon.

These little balls of joy have all the miniature cuteness that’s required in a collectible for girls this age, plus a couple of really cool features.

The wrapping is part of the toy itself. It’s got 7 layers that need to be peeled off and each layer contains a new surprise. (I’m seriously considering stocking up on these just to keep around for future plane rides – talk about a glorious time killer!) The 7 layers of surprises include: (1) Secret Message Sticker, (2) Collectible Sticker Sheet, (3) Water Bottle Charm, (4) Shoes, (5) Outfit, (6) Accessory, (7) L.O.L. Surprise tots doll

The ball itself acts as a playhouse and storage case for the doll (Yay! for having somewhere to store the tiny pieces!!)

The doll itself is also a surprise in how it reacts to water. The many change color, drink, spit, tinkle, or cry.

Peppa Pig Lights and Sounds Family Home Playset

(ages 2 – 6) $59.99

Ah, Peppa Pig- how I love thee. So bright and cheerful and inviting, so gender neutral and appealing to all kids, so fun and happy! And this new lights and sounds family home playset is no exception.

First and foremost, your kids are gonna be impressed by the size- it’s big!

Which means your older kids will love it because it will be large enough to play with their friends during play dates (always a must) and your toddlers will be able to get their hands easily into all of the play spaces.

That makes this a really great toy for multiple siblings to share, which is something I’m always on the lookout for. It’s so much easier on my budget to buy one big toy for everyone and also less clutter in my house!

Plus it encourages coooperative play, a skill we’re always working on around here.

The last thing I really, really like about this stellar doll house is that it has some fun effects like lights and sounds, but they’re not overwhelming. It’s just one button to turn them all on or off and, while engaging, they don’t seem to be the main event of this toy (that would be imaginative play all the way).

With it’s vivid colors and bigger proportions, this house looks like it came straight from the pages of a gorgeous picture book. Plus the 7 rooms each have plenty of fun accessories to keep your kids engaged in tons of dramatic play.

Crayola Rock Painting Set

(ages 3 – 14) $19.99

At first glance this rock painting kit may not look like much, but don’t let the unassuming presentation fool you. This toy is gonna be a BIG WINNER in your house. Here’s why…

First, with clubs like “Seattle Rocks” or “Richmond Rocks” (insert your town’s name) popping up all over the country, rock painting is all the rage with the kindergarten and elementary school set these days. (And, of course, preschoolers will love it too with a little help from mom or dad.)

These fun clubs encourage families to decorate their own rocks at home, hide them somewhere in town and then join a facebook group to leave hints about where you left your rock and also to get hints on where to find other rocks around town.

This is a family activity that has so many beneficial elements for your kids. They get to flex their investigative skills in your community while being creative, social, giving and adventurous. Plus, they spend time with the family (and maybe even learn a little about using the internet safely with you).

Ok, so clearly I’m into the rock clubs- but even if you’re not, your kids will still love painting rocks for their own homes or just for sharing with friends. And if they’re gonna do it, THIS is the kit to get.

The biggest thing about this kit is that it comes with a tub to keep everything in!!! This is major! The one thing I do not dig about rock painting is the potential for half-painted rocks, paint and brushes scattered all over the house. This will keep it all contained!

It also comes with a lot of things other kits don’t, like 8 very cool shimmering metallic markers, a paint mixing tray, and finishing glaze. Of course, it also comes with acrylic paints in white, black, brown and the primary colors.

At first, I thought that didn’t seem like enough colors but then I watched the video above and realized the idea is to use the primary colors to mix your own secondary colors. Another learning element great for preschoolers and kindergartners!

Fort Boards

(ages 4 – 10) starting at $61.99

Kids LOVE making forts and, I gotta say, I’m a big fan of anything that will buy me a solid hour or two of busy time.

What I’m not the biggest fan of? The beating my couch cushions take when my kids get into fort-building mode.

That’s reason enough alone to love the Fortboard kits but there are quite a few other reasons too.

First is all the super cool kinds of forts you can build. After Fortboard sent us two boxes to review, my kids started with the instructions for making a house on their website company’s website. Next up was the submarine.

After a little trial and error, they pretty quickly got the hang of it and, let me tell you, they were pleased as punch about their new fort- which they insisted stay up for a week. That was fine by me as it resulted in TONS of cooperative dramatic play.

Next up was the submarine and the castle, both of which were equally successful. By then, even my 3-year-old was able to build stuff with these on his own. His current favorite is to make cubes, which he calls “bombs” and use them to knock down stacks of even more cubes Angry Birds style.

Fast forward a few months and they’re now building their own master creations like that 6-wheeler semi-truck pictured up top. It’s become a thrilling game to challenge each other to see what they can build next.

The second thing to really love is the ingenious ways these boards can connect in different ways to create all sorts of angles, and even curves.

The secret is the connector arm that can be moved to join the boards in different ways (and teach your kids about angles in the process).

It’s so innovative, in fact, that it’s won multiple awards and even a Microsoft Small Business Contest.

The final thing I love about Fortboards is how compact they are when it’s time to put them away. Unlike with their competitors’ sets, there are no awkward polls to store (and no polls for kids to hit their siblings with). Everything tucks into a box and neatly stores under a bed or in a closet when playtime is done.

Like other fort sets, this one is spendy but if your kid is a builder it’s worth the investment, especially if you’re looking for something great for play dates or for siblings to play with together.

Teddy Ruxpin – Storytime and Magical Bear

(Ages 3 – 6) $94.00

He’s back! That’s right guys, the evil toy geniuses totally have our number and know that we will pony up the cash for anything that brings back nostalgic memories of our own childhood. And in the case of Teddy, I’m 100% here for it.

I mean how can you pass up a chance to share that with your kid?! And, of course, they made him way cooler than the first time around.

Most notable are his crazy-emotive LCD eyes with over 40 animations- SO MUCH better than the creepy blinking of the original version. The cassette player in his back is gone too because Teddy now reads books on the free app- but don’t worry, you don’t have to have the app to use him. He can also tell his stories and sing without it.

He truly is a nice toy for encouraging reading in pre-readers and emerging-readers. By being able to pause the reading just by tapping his paw, they can ensure that Teddy goes at their pace and he is sure to have them asking him to read to them again and again.

Hatchimals Suprise

(Ages 5-9) $69.99

Hatchimals CollEGGtibles

$9.39

Hatchimals Glittering Garden

$54.88

These interactive, magical creatures that come (and eventually hatch out of) their own egg were the hottest toy of the year last year. Every elementary-aged girl I knew, including my kindergartener daughter, had one at the very top of her list and they quickly sold out everywhere.

Naturally, they’re back this year with the originals being as popular as ever and, count them, three new iterations for your kids to covet. First, though, a refresher on what we’re dealing with here…

The magic in this toy is how kids are encouraged to nurture it both to come out of it’s egg and once it’s in the world.

To get the egg to hatch, kids have to pay attention to the color of the eyes inside the egg as well as the sound the hatchimal is making and respond to it appropriately. My biggest question was how long the hatching would take and it turned out to be about an hour. Check out the whole process in the video above.

Once it hatches, it’s time to give your Hatchimal a name and raise it through 3 stages: from baby, to toddler, to kid.

And here’ where I eat my words- Last year I wrote that ,”My suspicion is that this toy isn’t quite as cool once it hatches, but it does do a lot (walk, talk, dance, play games, and more) and though you can’t put it back in the egg, you can start it over as a baby whenever you want.”

Turns out my daughter’s enthusiasm didn’t lessen any once the thing hatched and a year out it’s still one of her top toys… So what’s new this year?

First up are CollEGGtibles.

Seizing on that love of all things mini that I wrote about above, the Hatchimal people made a whole variety of mini eggs.

Open these guys by rubbing the hearts until they change color and they crack. Works a little differently but the excitement is the same and the lower price point sure is nice! These will make great stocking stuffers and kids will love this nursery playset once they collect several collEGGtibles.

Next Hatchimal Surprise.

Along with going smaller is also the option of going bigger… and that’s all I can tell you right now because what’s inside is a mystery until October 6th. This one is pretty much guaranteed to sell out way before Christmas.

Lastly is the Hatchimals Glitter Garden.

This guy works exactly the same as last year’s hatchimal but with a little more sparkle!

So those are my top picks for the hottest new toys but there will be a lot more to come in the next couple of months leading up as I finish up the 2018 MPMK Toy Gift Guides so stay tuned!

In the meantime, don’t forget to check out all of our picks from last year’s…

MPMK Toy Gift Guides: The Complete Collection

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