#I honestly had read this scene as more of a metaphorical thing but I love the idea that they've been pissing each other off since childhood
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Immediate Writer's Block
Had a comment on another post where I thought I'd probably need more space than the notes in which to respond, so:
constant-state-of-self-discovery
Oh I get the envy I feel it right now how the fuck do you manage to write without impassable writers block after 5-9 sentences because I haven't fucking figured it out lol
I do have some advice on this!
I think most writers get blocked from time to time, it's normal and my general strategy is just to wait it out, but if you're frequently blocked after only writing a very little bit, I think the problem is one of two things: either you don't know what you want to achieve with the scene you're writing, or you don't know what should happen next within the scene to achieve that goal. If you frame "I'm blocked" as "I don't have an answer I need" then often you move from just sitting there, sweating and staring at a blank page, to thinking productively about how you're going to get where you're going. It's the difference between not knowing an answer and not knowing an answer but knowing where to look for it.
An invaluable piece of advice for this, which I think I picked up from someone who got it off a National Novel Writing Month messageboard, is "When in doubt, ninjas attack." It's not meant to be literal, you don't need to have ninjas or fight scenes just because you don't know what to do, but it helps to get the creativity flowing again. If you don't know what should happen next, or you know but you're having trouble actually writing the scene, it can be very helpful to induce a moment of uncertainty or surprise -- to have a metaphorical ninja attack. One time I did this literally -- the POV character was just on the road somewhere and I didn't know how to get them from a pastoral country road to their actual destination in an interesting way, so I had them get attacked by highway bandits and have to fight them off, which also allowed me to demonstrate that the character had significant unarmed combat skills. But it can also just be like, two characters who are having a boring conversation can be interrupted by a third person, even just a stranger asking for directions, or there can be, IDK, an explosion, or something goes missing, or etc.
Sometimes it also helps to leave it alone but keep it in your mind and go do something else -- listen to a podcast, take a walk, read a book, not because those things are distracting but because all our inputs eventually feed into our brain and come out as reactions. If you're thinking about your book while you're wandering around a park, something you see in the park might have an impact on it. If you've got YOUR story in mind while reading someone else's, you might be more inclined to look at what they're saying and see what you think of it, how it might play into your work.
And honestly, sometimes you just gotta go past it. I'm working on the next Shivadh novel right now and it opens basically with Simon the chef getting into a spat with his love-interest-to-be over some cheese. He want the cheese, she won't sell him the cheese, so they get off to a very contentious start. But I suck at writing conflict especially when it's basically "A character I like is being pompous and another character I want people to find likable is being stubborn and somewhat unpleasant". I've been stalled on it for a while. But I know where the scene ends up, like I do know what the goal is, so I just...skipped it and went on to writing a scene I like better, where they meet a second time and actually discover each others' identity and that they're about to be forced into the grownup equivalent of a school project. Once I've gotten dug deeper into the story I'll come back and write it, and by then I'll have the benefit of knowing the love interest a bit better.
So yeah -- I think a lot of breaking a writer's block, especially when you don't need rest but are just stumped about what to do, is to twist and look at it from another angle. It's not that you don't know what to write, or don't want to write what you know you have to -- it's that you don't have the correct answer to a question, or you need to leave that part alone to ferment and come back to it later. At least, for me.
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I don't know if anyone's done this yet but-
#sf6#jamie siu#luke sullivan#my third eye was opened by The Physics of Love by iroiroiro on AO3#I honestly had read this scene as more of a metaphorical thing but I love the idea that they've been pissing each other off since childhood#To me it was more of SF6 saying like yeah at their core their both just kids who wanna get in a fight to get in a fight#But the thought of them actually knowing each other as kids is so so so much funnier#imagine pulling your childhood crush's pigtails so hard that it forms a grudge so strong it haunts you in your twenties
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Hello! I just reread “sun eats the moon” for the 12th time now and I cannot get enough of it. The way you write is just incredible. The way you wrote Gojo and his obsession with the reader was just so horrifyingly fascinating to read. Every time I go back to read their interacts I keep noticing different layers between them and it’s just amazing!!
Though, I think my favourite parts was the scenes between hiromi and the reader. It’s clear that he could tell something was going on, but he didn’t exactly know what (And the foreshadowing of him urging the reader to leave before it’s too late amazing amazing amazing).
And I loved your “lame solar system analogy” (your words not mine 😝). Maybe I’m overthinking it but there’s this one part in the last scene where the reader describes Gojos smile as bloody, and then when she looks up at the moon, she realises that it’s a blood moon. Just the foreshadowing of that??? Amazing, I love love love rereading your work and just finding little things like that!!!!!
I’m so sorry for the long message, but one last thing I promise. I just love how much of a mystery Geto is. Till the end of the fic, I could not understand whether he supported his best friend or the readers (maybe a bit of both?). Did he care about the reader, or was he more concerned about gojo? He did stop Gojo’s plan to baby trap her but now that I’m reread their interactions I’m wondering if it was more for Gojos sake than hers….
Again so so sorry for the long message. I hope you have a great rest of your day!!! Can’t wait to see what you come up with next!!!!!
omg omg omg omg the smile on my face as I read this??? and on my BIRTHDAY as well???? ty ty ty ty best birthday present ever!!!!!!!!!
I've never written Higuruma before, but Im so glad I added him in that fic because clearly so many people enjoyed his parts. I'd actually written a scene where Higuruma is finally breaking away from the private sector and asks if the mc wants to be his paralegal even though he won't be working at the firm anymore. The reader would agree but then right after that gojo would come in and ruin EVERYTHING (because he is Gojo Satoru). But I didn't know how to fit that in, so I had to leave it out. But I did enjoy writing their camaraderie with each other. You can interpret what he knows as whatever you want, but I tried to imply that Higuruma thinks there is something weird going on between the reader and gojo but he can't put his finger on it. At first, he assumes you're uncomfortable with him solely because of how much Gojo flaunts his wealth, but the more he observes you, the more he realizes you're....afraid of Gojo, you barely want to be in the same room as him. I think he'd try to put some distance between you and him, but obviously, in the end, it didn't work out.
I just love repetition and symbolism so so much so im so sorry in advance if I annoyed yall with the 'sun' and the 'moon'. And yes!!! ahhh!!! im so happy you caught that foreshadowing with the blood moon cuz that's exactly what i was going for!!!!!
Honestly, the moon itself is such a great metaphor for womanhood but im gonna get off my soapbox before people start throwing things at me. I am definitely not allowed to speak about feminism considering what I write is like 96% pure misogyny.
Oh, Geto Suguru. Hes not on the reader's side, nor is he on Gojo's side. He's on Geto Suguru's side;)
one thing i will note tho....he noticed the reader before gojo satoru did. that's all i can say tee hee.
AHHHHHHH BUT THANK YOU AGAIN FOR THIS SWEET MESSAGE AND thank you for giving me an excuse to ramble for 15 minutes.
#ppl being so nice~!#yandere jjk#yandere#dark gojo satoru#gojo satoru#“The Sun Eats the Moon” Asks#SEM
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Hi! Just wanted to say the latest chapter is lovely & amazing & sweet & had me smiling the whole time! I absolutely love your characterisation of everyone, especially Draco, so it was so so lovely to return to this world & to his thoughts!! with his best friend and crush at malfoy manor no less! All the yearning is already off to a great start hehe I am so excited for the rest of book 5!
Wanted to ask you how has it been for you to write this new book and volume? Has your writing process changed since when you’d first begun taking on a long form project like this?
& also are there any moments or surprises in this book that you’re especially excited about?
sending so much love & gratitude for you and your incredible works 💓
Thank you so much! This is really encouraging, I so appreciate it.
Inasmuch as I can use this metaphor without having kids myself, I sort of see each of the books as a different child. The first one flew out in basically a few weeks of very intensive writing, and it was a total dream — plot, pacing, symbolism, major beats, all fell into place basically without effort. The character stuff was the hardest, as I've written about before, but even then, the glorious part of writing beginnings is it's the most energy you'll ever have for a project, so the lows were pretty soft lows. Book 2, in contrast, I had to drag kicking and screaming by its ankle from under the bottommost mattress of my brain. It's one of my least favorite books (tone problem; COS has killer plot/setting/ingredients for a YA novel, but it's stuck in the doldrums of Harry Potter's well-documented Early-Installment Weirdness, before Cedric Diggory slams the gas and upshifts the whole series into its correct age bracket). More specifically, once I'd gone through and picked out everything in the book that happened because of Lucius, I didn't have a plot — hey alexa how do you rewrite Chamber of Secrets when We Got No Fucking Chamber Of Secrets — and oh by the way, even if you want to do a moody tone/political setup book, remember that your protagonists are still twelve, so if you go too dark or too intense, you'll risk torpedoing your readers' suspension of disbelief. Good luck, Charlie.
Book 3 felt the most like its own novel, if that makes sense? It's the last truly feel-good book of the series; it's a great stand-alone mystery novel with relatively low stakes. Plus you get a bunch of the big series icons: patronuses, dementors, werewolves, Hogsmeade, the Marauders' Map, and time turners arithmancy. It just felt like a good old-fashioned motherfucking romp of a mystery/adventure story, before any of the complex character work and major stakes of the late books come in.
Book 4 was the most fun I've had writing anything maybe ever. I don't even know what it was. Maybe the tournament arc, honestly? Love me a tournament arc. But in any case, I opened every new chapter feeling a tingle of excitement for what I was gonna get to do. Oh, and the romance started, finally, Jesus God (if it feels like a slow burn reading, just imagine what it felt like writing it, when everything takes ten times as long, and you have to figure out how to word the fucker.)
Book 5, in contrast, has felt much less like that tingle of "here we go!" and more like "oh, man, this is gonna be cool." Because this is the arc of the story that composed the original idea for Lionheart, literally years ago, and to be honest, I didn't think I'd get this far! If you'd asked me "do you know that it's going to take you 500,000 words of backstory before you can start writing that concept you're thinking about, and you're going to do it anyway?" I would have said: "absolutely not, strange mind-reader!" But like... I'm here! Finally! And it's... real now? Like, this isn't just a bunch of clips of scenes in my head anymore! That's rad!
That being said, it's definitely been slower than Book 4, because I kept switching back to my outline document to make sure that certain things were set up properly, and that I hadn't lost any of the plot threads or forgotten a minor beat that was vitally important for the story three chapters later. And I had a minor crisis about three months ago when I ripped out about 8 chapters in the first third of the book — basically everything from September to December — because I'd done a readthrough to check pacing (big mistake! never edit while drafting, that's satan talking) and realized I had a missing storyline. Like, there was a whole layer of the story that was just. Missing. Not there. And the existing text really couldn't fit another thread, so instead of taking weeks to pore through and try to sift out what I could save, I needed to factory reset and start over. And I didn't want to! I vividly remember sitting there with my head in my hands, trying not to weep, because I'd decimated 90,000 words of work in a single edit. But it had to be done. Because the story wasn't going to work. And now (hopefully) it will.
And of course, there's still that sense of excitement and exhilaration from before. Always. But whereas Book 4 felt like a delicious chocolate pudding, Book 5 is a medium-rare steak.
(Book 6, so far, is four shots of espresso and a whiskey chaser. FWIW.)
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I just saw an interesting maiko post. I didn’t want to comment or reblog because I figured that person didn’t want to have a discord considering the tags and some times tumblr recommended things to you. I probably wasn’t meant to see it honestly, But now I want to talk about it.
It was about how Zuko and Mai are just teenagers who don’t understand each other sometimes and then fail to communicate.
Also about how Mai’s emotionless trait collides with Zuko’s need for emotional validation and Zuko’s controlling possessiveness collides with Mai’s need for freedom. But they care for each other that doesn’t make them a bad couple, and Mai is not a bad girlfriend.
Honestly it a really good way to frame the relationship. I would also call it incompatible, maybe even toxic? it doesn’t make them bad people, but sometimes people do bring out the worst in you. Technically, this is true for Zuko, considering he went back to the fire nation, and he started dating Mai at the same time. Mai is the first person we see him speaking to after betraying his uncle and the show wants us to know he made the wrong choice. Mai is use as a narrative tool for Zuko’s lack of support in the fire nation,he’s miserable when he goes back home, and the one person, you would think he could connect with, his girlfriend, is cold and emotionally withdrawn. The show used Maiko to explore the the emptiness of being home in the fire nation, the empty promises of fire nation glory he been chasing and it doesn’t resonate with him anymore, also the impossible standard of gaining conditional love. (Sorry but Maiko is Zuko centric so it does makes Mai hard to read at best and abusive at worst)
I don’t deny that they care about each other in someway they’ve known each other since they were children, it’s safe and comfortable. but love is not enough. Honestly most toxic relationship in irl continue because they love each but they are not good for one other. Zuko and Mai they don’t understand each other and it seems like they don’t really want to understand each other. That’s the problem. (Mai mostly).
Maiko is really just a toxic cycle of their needs not being met
This scene where Zuko want to talk about his feeing and open up to her
Mai: *yawn* I just asked if you were cold not for your whole life story.
(Not going to lie, that was funny but it’s still a very dismissive thing to say, especially to your partner.)
Zuko is actually a little bit more sympathetic when she tells her “sob story” he didn’t yawn
Zuko: I like when you express yourself.
(her being off and on with her anger. Is like a metaphor for him being in the fire nation, trying to make something work and it’s not working. Constantly feeling like he said or does the wrong thing)
and It just bubbles over until they finally blew up
Zuko’s possessiveness is a reaction to after he feels like he has done all sorts of stuff to please her. it’s zuko reaching his breaking point. Boy is really insecure in this relationship because the feed back he gets from her is contempt. Sure we could argue and say that doesn’t make mai a bad girl friend maybe this is just her sense of humor or personality. well, it doesn’t mesh well with Zuko therefore, they are incompatible, and a bad couple with each other. 
( also Zuko is not nice here that’s kind of the point he hads regressed  in his character arc so to speak.)
and then they get back together by making out.
Sure she says she cares but why when did she actually show it? Actions speak louder than words! We never get a moment where Mai gets it and really understands him.
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So... thoughts about sab season 2 lmao
The writers were obviously on acids while concocting this high drivel.
It's a new fantasy genre they just founded with this season, you know, High Drivel.
They completely butchered the Darkling's character and I had to painfully witness ten hours of Ben, completely conscious of it, trying to conjure every Beauty and the Beast refrain to delay the Titanic-like sinking of his character and ship (from Phantom and Love Never Dies, to Dracula and Frankenstein to literal fanfictions I'm now sure he reads).
They completely missed the entire point and meaning of Darklina, making it a one-sided, one-dimensional stalker/simp-victim with angry Stokolm syndrome dynamic.
They threw famous line after famous line at us completely out of context as if they were bones to bait rabid dogs with (I will never forgive how they turned the sardonic "I'll make sure you hear when I make her scream", elegant half-threat and half-innuendo, into an angry madman growl with no meaning whatsoever).
"Let me be your monster!" - my children, you have read too many fanfics and not even the good ones.
Don't get me started with Baghra, the relationship counsellor and motherly hero (tm).
The shameless way they painted Aleksander taking possession of the stag amplifier as an assault metaphor. Disgusting.
I honestly didn't believe possible to do worse than the actual books, but never say never! The reasons why I hated the books were magnified this season. If Alina's reasoning and idiocy and lack of interest in her destiny and counterpart just did not make any sense in the books, in the show she is a thousand times dumber and one-dimensional! Put against this new version, books!Alina was depth personified! And if the books felt like rushed unelaborated summaries, the show is now an even worse mess! I cannot believe those are the same people who created season one. I'm astonished.
They eradicated the entirety of canon Darklina's scenes. Not a single one was present. Not one.
The tether is now for everyone to use and abuse, not only a personal soulmate thing. The Darkling is in Mal's dreams too lmao
Merzost suddenly killing the Darkling, of course. Obviously not to make Alina appear less of a cold-blooded murderer, not at all. Perhaps they should have remembered to make her fake a tear or two while burning the corpse of her ex-lover looking like a dumb emotionless fish.
Genya reduced to the victim (tm).
Nikolai the good woke boy (tm).
Nikolai giving up the Sturmhond title to the first tracker he meets, of course.
I loved how after ten hours of soppy eternal love declarations Mal dumps Alina because their love isn't real lol epic stuff.
And by the way this is still considered more valid and important than the relationship with the poor bastard who actually allowed the dumb angry fish to end him while daydreaming about her, his only peace in a thousand lifetimes of war.
Alina turning dark gives me a feeble hope, but the writers should come down from whatever drug they are currently using first.
Said hope involves the fact that they extinguished both Malina and the hatred towards the Darkling this season, and I like to think they did that to give us the proper dynamic with dark!Alina and the Nikolai's duology resurrected Darkling. But who knows if they will see reason.
#shadow and bone#shadow and bone s2#the darkling#darklina#i won't be polite and tag anti things because malina stans never do#the grisha trilogy#anon#asks/replies#one and one thousand stories lis told#sab spoilers
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I’ve been trying to get these thoughts out for days but basically I feel like the unifying theory of s16 (as I see it) is a conscious exploration of the dichotomy between sunny as a classically bold and brash pee pee poo poo comedy and sunny as a thoughtful, nuanced and subtle show about flawed people and also about itself, at times (by that I mean the meta isn’t always about macdennis or the other characters but about sunny itself - win an award, clip show, big mo, etc). the trailer actually captures this dichotomy well through the dialogue clips and animations, as well as the pinned comment which said “get ready for a whole lot of subtlety.” it’s still so baffling to me that sunny can simultaneously read as one of the most loud, obnoxious, unsubtle shows ever on television, OR it can be so subtle and allegorical in the writing of later seasons that most viewers would think people like us are crazy for reading so much into it even though we’re really not. this kind of self-reflective flavor is another product of the rewatch/podcast project which has been almost universally agreed to have had a very positive effect on the writing.
anyway having said that, I want to just share my notes on the first two episodes without trying to edit them too much. I’m bolding the points that I personally haven’t seen anyone else mention yet and putting a 😎 next to ones that evoke a Classic Sunny VibeTM because that’s important to the experiment of this season.
the gang inflates
macden fun/domestic/DUMB again 😎
something something never committing to the couch when it was absurd not to and it ended up costing them so much macdennis blah blah
dennis hanging up on dee was so funny to me oops 😎
and the WHOLE dee (as a character and specifically the female character) thing about being minimized to an absurd degree. I like to think the bog was a turning point for dee and the show is gonna do better by her now hopefully by recognizing her plight in a more serious way, like the way the guys have been doing?
are mac and dennis…… you know…… like for real??? as many have said, it could totally be revealed kind of retroactively to undercut the shock and be like “honestly we’re surprised you didn’t notice sooner” I feel like that is something rcg would do. suggestive clues:
“I don’t wanna talk to you about–” “a TON”
or is dennis like well that’s news to me jealous vibes??
“I figured you were man” ??
“I’m getting a little concerned about our nut”
“you truly have no reason to be sleeping with frank”
they specifically put a lil reaction shot of dennis after mac says “that’s a lotta blowin” a la the lil grin in gets romantic and, well, I just think that’s a choice that was made
“it’s not homophobic” is that so?????
when mac is like “you think we got rid of our furniture too soon/that the business plan won’t work” it’s kinda like no it’s not the committing to what they have, it’s that mac still has big denial problems and dennis can’t work with that… maybe? but so does dennis tbh
in a show-meta sense it’s like, we should be less worried about whether the gay gay-ass love story will alienate people and more worried about how these characters are too ridiculous to even let the love story play out effectively. they need mental health days if we are ever to have nice things
it’s possible mac denying his reaction to the allergy has to do with his body dysmorphia?
also it occurred to me that maybe part of why rob is clean-shaven this season is so they could do those prosthetics more easily?
those handprints though…. I hate everything
oh also just the bed scene. its existence
the zoomed in neck touch of course
“I’m not going to do it!” “..okay” dennis keepin his cool :)
mac’s shirt! COOLER HEADS PREVAIL
just the sheer silliness of inflatable furniture - is there some metaphor here lol?
in a general sense could inflates be taken to mean flanderizes? also maybe it’s just implied but I noticed I hadn’t actually seen anyone mention inflation as a sexual kink and like, that was part of the intention right? if so, 😎
charlie “uhhhhhhhh… yep.” poor charlie :( he doesn’t want to live in a maze (like a rat)
“well then you’re just like being a predator” :( so here for charlie calling out bullshit with frank and mrs. mac and even his own mom so far in these first two eps
charlie just giving up and yelling in frustration which is kinda what bonnie does in ep2 (and ep3 based on trailer)
the gross horny male objectifying thing 😎
rob put his whole pussy into this episode
charlie saying “I don’t get why he doesn’t take me seriously” and dee saying “that’s gotta be maddening” 🙃
cats in the alley my loves 😎
gluing dee a pillow on the wall <3
“consider it an offering” “of war??” this says so much. must everything be a conflict?
charlie’s hair looks so crazy and good in the sleepover scene and also he’s so smart
charlie asks frank to “return everything to the status quo” by the end of the episode, sitcom style. full reset, no progression. except charlie is asking that frank not endlessly take advantage of the fact that mac and den can’t figure their shit out, not totally push dee out just because it’s easy, not make light of the trauma charlie has from what happened to him. all that stuff IS the status quo! so what is he really asking for? this is one of the bits of writing that I think is also about the show as a show, and how they’ve approached these dynamics forever.
it’s funny that people are saying this season is such a return to form because it is, but it’s also so much more self-aware of what that form is/was and how deeper elements can coexist within it. they’re really walking with a foot in both worlds here and they’re doing it well. love this for them and for us, the people who know what it’s always sunny in philadelphia is REALLY about
“we’ll take you to the hospital, and they’ll have nuts. and you can– you can die there.” hahahah
#sunny#iasip#it's always sunny in philadelphia#S16#sunny meta#s16 meta#s16 e1#the gang inflates#macdennis#charlie#dee#I hate this show bc every time I'm like whoa this writing is so complex and then I immediately feel ridiculous for thinking that#even though I KNOW I'm right and you guys get it too..... I still feel like a tinhat :( I blame misogyny#well I'm exhausted goodnight
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hi it’s me again! i finished the kennedy book half an hour ago and i am still reeling.
you weren’t kidding about the last chapters. like the farewell party is a bittersweet anecdote, but then the epilogue is just absolutely crushing. what a brutal note to end on. the true endpoint is the paragraph in the acknowledgements where he thanks his coauthor for freeing him from the emotional prison he was in. phrase practically verbatim. like oh my god.
that thing you said about what’s not said really did nail the sort of very careful sidestepping of….giving his opinions, maybe? there is just a very deliberate sort of distance with which he describes any events, and so you really notice the barest hints of something more. (more than anyone can ever know, mr. hill? care to elaborate??? it’s the implication that they kept many secrets together and also his enduring loyalty to her that keeps us from learning hardly any of them.) i was reminded of the perception of the kennedys as american royalty because he really talks about her like she was a queen. jackie kennedy through his lens is beautiful and gracious and willful and truly given the royal treatment.
speaking of the royalty metaphor, aristotle onassis is two steps from being a mustache-twirling villain hoping that our brave knight clint hill dies a watery death under a yacht??? unprompted??? like, man. come on. honestly there’s a fascinating emotional thread in here about how he can only fully express feelings of protectiveness when they’re expressed by the president first.
anyway. this is a long ask. sorry. i feel like i should have something profound to say about the assassination chapters because of how significant the event is in history but i don’t yet. i probably sound unhinged but man. this was real life and this is how he chose to tell this story. what even was that.
THANK YOU.
re: last chapters: i want to look into what happened between him and his coauthor (they're married now!) but i haven't yet. i'm still feeling my feelings about the whole thing. can you imagine not reading the acknowledgements?? the acknowledgements that provide the only ounce of comfort amid the hurt of the last third of the book??
re: "MORE THAN ANYONE CAN EVER KNOW": i purposefully haven't shared that quote because divorced from its context you don't get the impact. to me that says he either totally had a thing with her but won't talk about it because he's an honorable man, in the same way he won't offer any kind of "no yeah the warren report was bullshit and the shots came from two different directions" confirmation, or he wants us to *think* something happened even if it didn't. i mean it's not like it was a secret that JFK and Jackie had affairs with other people. a great many of those people have written memoirs specifically about boning one or more of the Kennedys. so many in fact that it's basically a subgenre.
also there's some irony in the way he depicts Jackie. she didn't like to be written about. at all. ever. and there's more than one instance where he's, you know, an 80 year old man being a bit patronizing (in an otherwise very sensitively and thoughtfully written book), with all the mentions of mischief and little-girlishness. and so i keep thinking about how Jackie would have felt about this particular depiction, which despite the glossy nostalgia over the whole thing and I Love Lucy-esque antics, is a pretty nuanced depiction, at least compared to others i've read. he manages to revere her, nearly worship her, but still portray her vices, not as faults but as even more reasons he loved her. i don't know, man. it just feels weird to stumble upon a true story of what i thought were fictional feelings.
re: "he can only fully express feelings of protectiveness when they’re expressed by the president first": HOLY SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT. i'm still thinking about that scene where he takes the film out of that photographer's camera and JFK is just like, "ummm we can't make it seem like we're denying the press access to us, so we're gonna have to blame you," which prompted Hill to question his professional loyalty to the president against his personal loyalty to Jackie, and also it made me think, what would happen if he had to shoot someone? would he get blamed for that too? was he really only there as a human shield, able to protect but not truly defend?
re: "what even was that": WHAT EVEN WAS THAT.
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What makes Itazura na Kiss: Love in Tokyo so special?
This is probably my twelfth thousand re-watch of this drama, but this is not like all the other rewatches. I have decided to make this one special by using it to analyse the drama in more depth, and attempt to uncover why I love it as much as I do, despite all it’s flaws. I am writing this as I watch the episodes, so it might be considered somewhat of a commentary.
Season 01 Episode 01
Starting off with the first episode, the opening scene is fantastic in my opinion. I love how we are getting introduced to Kotoko in the comfort of her own room, and getting a peek into her hearts deepest wish. I honestly think that this might be what made me like this version of Kotoko from the get go.
However, technically, the actual first scene of the story is the iconic confession scene (if you would even call it that). I am going to go on a tangent here and just say that I am an absolute fan of her letter, but I will get back to that in a later episode.
The way she is nervous and excited before confessing and the way he flat out rejects her before she even has the chance to confess always makes me feel crushed for her, and is the reason why I initially disliked him. But now that I am actually analysing it, it is less harsh than how I’ve always perceived it (or this might just be me trying to explain it away).
Hear me out, consider the implication that he has a whole queue of girls that like him, drool over him and confess to him in school, his reaction/rejection is really not that surprising. Imagine receiving confessions from a bunch of girls, when you just want to live your life in peace … that must get old and tiresome fairly quickly. Additionally, the fact that the whole entire school is talking about the rejection might explain why he didn't accept her letter; had he accepted it (even if he rejected her afterwards), the whole school would probably assume that they were dating. On the other hand it makes me think, why would the whole school be interested in someone confessing? are we back in kindergarten?
We see later on that she still has that card with her. I think that for her, getting rid of it would feel like getting rid of her feelings for him, which is why she holds on to it.
Anyways, I find it quite ironic when Kotoko’s friends tell her “you and Irie are from different worlds” . Their worlds are literally going to forcibly merge under one roof very very soon.
Another random thought I got, like a lot of my thoughts are, was why did Kotoko like Naoki, and not like Kinnouske? I mean he might not be handsome, he might not be smart, he might not be rich, but he is hardworking, talented and most importantly, he liked Kotoko, and was always nice towards her. This version’s Kinnouske has always been my favourite one. I think this version does a good job at portraying him as a three dimensional person, rather than a comic relief kind of personality *cough* Itazura Na Kiss 1996 *cough*.
When I started to pay more attention, I realised that although I do love Kinnouske, I do find him to often do things based on his own feelings, and does not consider what Kotoko wants. For example, I cant help but feel that he is a bit insensitive for being happy when Kotoko is sad after deciding to ‘give up’ on Naoki. This is a small detail, and perhaps I am reading too much into it, but I do feel that Itazura Na Kiss is all about the details. He sort of redeems himself for it by asking his friends to come and help her move, but soon it goes to shit again, which I will come to later on.
I really like — at this point, everything really, but anyways — the reoccurring mentioning of “less possible than getting hit by a shooting star”, which is a kind of teaser to what is to come later on in the show. Although I’ve always thought that the reason for their house being destroyed in this version to be a bit dumb, I admit, I do like the thought and metaphor behind it, so I will turn I blind eye to it. I also find it hilarious how it ended up all over the news.
Kotoko’s extremely optimistic outlook despite everything that happened is perhaps her most charming personality trait. It makes me feel that her optimism is somehow what everything work out for her in the end.
Now, to one of the scenes I dislike most in this story. I am always tempted to skip the first episode altogether to avoid it. And that’s the scene where Kinnouske is collecting donations for Kotoko. Here we see Kin-chan’s good intentions having not so good results. I get the feeling that he does what he thinks is helpful for her, and never once stops to consider her feelings or ask her opinion on it, and the way she gets annoyed with him tells me that she’s not that fond of this either, despite what his intentions were.
Back to Naoki. Looking at the size of that entrance, he could have 100% just walked around Kotoko and Kinnouske and gone in. Heck, following the little pattern we have so far, wouldn’t he purposefully avoid them to maintain a quiet and peaceful life? Now, he did just the contrary and approached them. Considering the fact that by the end of the episode he already knows about the arrangement (of her going to his home to stay there with her father), it would be safe to assume that at this moment in time, he already knows that she would stay in his house. This is supported by his response to her “preferring to die over taking his money”; “are you sure you want to tell me that?”. Therefore I assume that he approaches her out of curiosity.
If you pay close attention to this interaction, you will notice that Naoki did not say one thing that was wrong or out of line. Naoki giving Kotoko the money was not very nice. But more than anything, it was quite confusing. He told her “If I donate this money, you won’t argue with me anymore”. Now, Kinnouske was the one arguing with Naoki, so why would Naoki tell Kotoko that? Is it because he sees her as the most reasonable one, or rather, is it because they’re ‘her’ friends (thus making her responsible for them)?
Kotoko was the one with an explosive reaction in this situation [although she was in the wrong, I like how she stood by her friend eventhough they were fighting a few moments ago (if she realised the previously mentioned point that is).], and was more than a bit mean when saying “do you even have friends?”. Here we see just how much of an opposite to her he is. Instead of having an explosive reaction like Kotoko had, Naoki just finds her reaction amusing and leaves calmly.
Now to when she goes with her father to the Irie household. Naoki’s mother’s (Noriko’s) comment of “you and I seem like we were meant to meet” and the fact that she knows that she’s in the same school as Naoki tells me that he told her about Kotoko; which in turn makes me think that she left a memorable impression on him. Kotoko’s reaction to seeing Naoki is Hilarious, especially te part where she’s too shocked, and is not shy to say “I’m just do surprised … because Iri-chan-san and Irie-kun don’t look alike at all” (I really am starting to realise and understand why Naoki finds her amusing).
Another one of those small details; the way her father scoots away right off the bat when he saw Yuki asking her a question about a kanji character, and pretending to look at a random décor piece kills me (It’s nice to keep in mind; despite how similar Kotoko might sometimes be to her dad, he still has more awareness of his own ‘stupidness’ than her).
I recently watched one of @Machitsuki2 ‘s analysis videos, and like she pointed out, I did in fact notice how Kotoko was going straight to the food and cakes, while Naoki was mainly only sipping coffee (even during breakfast). This will become really important later on.
Lastly, I love the interaction between Noriko and Kotoko when she takes her up to show her her room; Kotoko found a mother she never had, and Noriko found the daughter she never had. They are the first puzzle pieces that fit into each other perfectly.
When Naoki comes in and tells Kotoko that she took Yuki’s room, I get the feeling that rather than an insult it served to make Kotoko understand why Yuki disliked her so much. I might be a bit delulu, but I kind of feel that Naoki did this on purpose? anyone?
When Noriko asks Kotoko “do you like(suki) Sukiyaki?” and Kotoko looks at her (in Naoki’s direction) and confidently answers “I like it! (suki-desu!)” almost feels directed at Naoki. It is in fact the first time he hears her say it. This next part I had to go back and watch once more; Naoki only starts being mean to her when she pulled the bag from him (not wanting his help) and he saw the letter she wrote him drop out of it. I do wonder if he is mean to her because of that letter, or maybe because he thought she was rude towards him?
To be continued…(maybe)
#itazura na kiss#itazura na kiss love in tokyo#aihara kotoko#miki honoka#irie naoki#yuki furukawa#Ikezawa kinnouske#yuki yamada#character analysis#story analysis#drama#jdrama#japan#s01e01#episode 1#recap#review
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I feel to a degree that Sam and Bucky's attitudes towards John Walker in TFATWS was kinda...needlessly cruel. Like, they had problems with him even before Walker had done anything wrong, simply because he was wearing a Captain America uniform and was no Steve Rogers. I think this really showed in their fight with him at the start of episode 5, which honestly feels to me more like "Sam and Bucky gang up on and brutalize Walker while he's still going through the process of grieving his best friend who was just brutally murdered in front of him."
I have very little sympathy for Walker, because he reminds me keenly of the particular type of person (often white and male) who has been smooth sailing for all their life and gets their way by trampling over other people but has absolutely no self-awareness of this, attributes their own success not to systemic privilege tipped in their favour but rather believes it’s all from ‘individual hard work’, who then struggles because for once in their life things don’t go their way and their tantrum behaviour escalates until it ends in violence.
I know there are more sympathetic readings of his character (he has PTSD, was unsupported, didn’t get much help) but this is the archetype I saw and…to be honest, if I met this kind of person, I would give him very little patience too.
Also, I remember Walker’s introduction very differently. Sam donated the shield to the museum to lay Captain America to rest, and his wish was disrespected. You can argue that’s not entirely Walker’s fault but he’s also not innocent either, so Sam has plenty of reason to distrust him at the get-go. Walker then went on TV and says “I never met him (Steve), he feels like a brother,” which, aside from being a mockery of the friendship between Steve and Bucky, was a weird ingratiating line while disrespecting Steve’s wishes of handing the shield over to Sam (and thereby letting Sam decide what should happen to the shield). So Bucky, too, had plenty of reason to distrust Walker before they met.
The truck fight I’m putting down to shitty writing. You’re telling me two veterans who had fought super soldiers and aliens and everything in between couldn’t handle a bunch of kids until Walker arrived on the scene? I call writer bias, and I’ve talked extensively in the past about how Walker was the only character in that series given the protagonist treatment of agency and a complete character arc at the expense of our two eponymous protagonists, who were passive and whose character beats happened off screen.
Taking away the writer issues, Sam and Bucky were both pulling their punches because they realised they were up against kids. Walker pulled out a gun and shot one of them (can’t remember if the kid died or not). That’s a much better metaphor for police brutality than the traffic stop scene later, and gives more concrete reason for Sam and Bucky to distrust him.
The only thing mean from Sam/Bucky’s side in that conversation was Walker asking to work together and Bucky saying “Just cos you carry that shield, it doesn’t mean you’re Captain America.” Which, after all we’ve seen of him so far, is a pretty fair assessment.
As compared to all the awkwardly cocky stuff Walker says in return. “Yeah, I have (jumped on a grenade), it’s a thing I do with my helmet” which undermines what it says about Steve’s moral character by covering a grenade with his body. Are we forgetting the “That serum doesn’t exactly have a great track record. No offense”? I love the no offense, which is standard repertoire for entitled people to put the burden of offence in the listener’s court instead of apologising for the offense they’re causing. Are we forgetting the “uh no we didn’t track them we tracked you through Redwing” with a smug grin? Are we forgetting his deaf dismissal of Sam trying to rationalise with why a bunch of impoverished kids are successfully leading a revolution (god the way he just ignored Sam’s point is so close to how entitled white men in real life talks it makes my blood boil)? Are we forgetting the “It’d be a whole lot easier if I had Cap’s wingmen on my side”?
I don’t think Sam and Bucky were “needlessly” cruel. I think they had an understandable emotional reaction - during a period of emotional vulnerability for both of them - to someone they see doing their memory of Steve dirty, and an understandable escalation in their distrust by what Walker then showed of his convictions, attitudes, and intentions. From a writing point of view — yeah I do think Bucky’s disgust was more exaggerated than I personally would have written him, but as far as all the OOC shit Bucky has done in this show, being aggravated by Walker was the least of it.
And by episode 5??? By then Walker has said and done a whole bunch of deranged shit. Sam and Bucky were not “ganging up” on him. Are we forgetting that Sam asked nicely for him to hand himself in? And then Walker going full gollum-mode (“my precioussss”) because Sam mentions the shield once?? (But also yes I agree the writing was once again shitty and focused weirdly on retrieving the shield instead of, you know, the priority of apprehending Walker) And sorry, going back once again to the entitled white men trope, because that’s what Walker is — did Walker show any respect to Sam and Bucky for grieving over Steve? Then why should we expect people to afford him leniency in return? Not to mention that they did approach him kindly and say that he would likely be judged leniently because of Lemar’s death. And even as they’re trying to be kind to him, Walker snipes at Bucky “I’m not like you” (actually you’re not, you dipshit, because Bucky never killed anyone in spite or rage) and assumes the worst of Sam for asking for the shield.
Look, I am all for a balanced view on Walker, because he is a layered character who tries his best but was never good enough, and the sense of inferiority escalates his immature emotional response beyond control. But that’s because of his glaring, major, inexcusable character flaws that he only has himself to blame for. He’s basically Tony Stark who has been trained for violence through the military and doesn’t have the wealth or brain power to channel his anger anywhere else.
Not to mention that Sam and Bucky never sought him out even once, and he’s the one barging in on them multiple times despite them making their boundaries clear.
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for some reason nexus, by far, is the story where i felt most 'trapped'. honestly, i loved the way you wrote nexus, it feels a lot like a movie wtfff....
i often get a sense that most of your works are a lot reminiscent to classic novels to me, but this one felt like a movie! its actually amazing how flexible u are lol
mommy issues aside, that will be in another ask- lear. that hurt me.
i have to admit, i didnt really care for lear so much until ch 3 or 4, because i finally realized wow this guy is actually.............. genuinely nice. hes cute. in irl id maybe have heart eyes for a guy like him.
the sequence where reader has flashbacks of lear and lear probably being the first and only person to know her intimately (IN AN EMOTIONAL SENSE NOT THAT WAY) absolutely hit me harder because i eventually thought "WHY didnt i pay attention to lear in the first place?!" i initially didnt care for him because my mind was all BLADEE BLADEEEE, but now... fuck, lear, i shouldve been with you since day 1.
another interesting thing id like to think about is how reader's regrets, are definitely feelings that nona and lear are experiencing as well. all three are most likely, simutaneously although perhaps now lightyears away instead of mere walls parting them, thinking about their regrets over a loss thats almost like death. where will lear ever put his love now that n darling isnt around anymore? he can only look back to his memories and pray that it's enough to soothe him. would nona regret ever being mean to n darling, skipping her studies, and perhaps later on she would viewed herself as a burden to n darling in the past?
so much to think about, and so little emotional capacity i have to hold the overflowing emotions...
i love nexus and especially YOU LOCK !!!!!
omg i think it's cool that you found nexus' style similar to a movie... the scenes i imagined in my head felt cinematic-ish, especially n darling recalls previous dialogue at certain moments for emotional amplification™. i didn't think about it reflecting in the writing much, but i see what you mean now 😌 there's a lot of emphasis on visuals for prose and metaphors.
A LEAR TRUTHER !!! i wanted him to serve as a foil to blade, so i think once blade started pulling more shenanigans, lear's care for n darling stands out more. lear could've fallen in that possessive pitfall but he's simply built different.
aaa regrets and "i should've x" feel like some of the most effective forms of horror, since it's a universal experience. maybe not the exact scenarios themselves, but everyone's had that moment when they realized how they should've done things differently. when the news comes to light, lear will undoubtedly be emotionally devastated. nona will be as well, though her pain would manifest in anger more than depression. she'd be mad at n darling first, then mad at herself for not being able to do anything to help.
i can't leave them in suffering limbo though 😭 the astral express crew will be who take care of the stellaron crisis on eris. inevitably, they'll meet with lear and nona. the grief won't go away entirely, but the express crew will do/say things that help.
THANK YOU SO MUCH !!! i loved reading your thoughts 🥺 thank you thank you!!!!
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Okay, 18+ TRON fans- this is TOTALLY random but I'm legit curious.
What are some NSFW/sexuality headcanons you have about programs? This can be physically or on the psychological side like what programs may find attractive, etc.
l'll list a few of my own but since it's NSFW in nature it'll be below the cut.
-100% believe that on the new system Flynn built, sexual encounters are more User-like than more almost a metaphorical and/or code exchange experience like how we have learned of in the old system based on Tron and Yori’s deleted love scene based off of the script and scene itself. For several reasons, but two in particular:
•Flynn himself doesn’t/can’t understand the old system’s sexual advances/encounters because, well—he’s a human! Its not exactly a shock.
•In Uprising especially, it seems pretty evident with the way Paige and Beck “flirted” with each other while fighting in the pilot, Mara’s physical body language in State of Mind, Lux’s behavior in seducing Beck, etc, that sexuality is a lot more physical than it was in the old system. Hell, Tron and Yori didn’t even know what kissing was until Flynn decided to lay one on Yori (okay I get he legit thought he was gonna die and she looked like Laura who was an ex he probably still had feelings for at that time but COME ON MAN REALLY??????)
(ASSAULT TW FOR THIS NEXT POINT)
-Because of last stated headcanon, I honestly don’t think Beck even realizes that Cyrus assaulted him. Do I think Cyrus knows? 100%—Absolutely he does. He’s predatory by nature and he probably knows a little more about the old system because of just talking and hanging out with Tron. Beck probably felt, and maybe still feels, gross and violated in a way he can’t really describe. He was put through torture and pain, but somehow it doesn’t feel like the same kind of emotional distress he felt when being in trouble when taking hits. It feels personal, internal, and I think that’s a big reason why Cyrus scares him. It’s not just his ability to read Beck so easily. It’s because he did something to him that has changed him forever, but he can’t figure out or understand what that was. And that probably scares Beck even more.
-Physical sex and code exchange must genuinely be a mind-bending experience, and probably a very emotional one, too.
-Because of that, I genuinely think the few programs who know/discovered that aspect of sex probably will only reserve that for long term/really close counter.
-AIGHT LETS ADD ANOTHER LAYER TO THIS—I always wondered if programs could connect their disks via a wire much like ghost in the shell. I bet it’s not exactly sexual in nature, more of a emotional thing, but the idea of programs connecting and meeting in an internal lobby and sharing memories/data is goddamn romantic. Probably can feel each other’s physical experiences too which can potentially be either overwhelming or maybe a really sweet experience
-I think it was kinda hinted at in Legacy/Uprising, but I’m willing to bet Sirens aren’t just assist programs but probably are prostitutes too. It seemed like Uprising was kinda indicating Colbolt was her pimp and not just an abusive panther but that can just be me.
-Having said that, you wonder if prostitution/brothels are legal in the Grid? I do a lot, because I think it says a lot about the Grid and Clu’s ruling more than I think people probably think.
-Okay, building on that too why not—1000% Clu visits these clubs all the time taking in who knows how many sirens back with him. I don’t think about sex headcanons usually in a “damn that’d be hot” kinda way, I think sexuality and sex culture genuinely just says a lot about society—the good and bad. I just think that Clu is so obsessed with being worshiped he can’t even be sexually pleased without having a whole ass crowd praising/worshiping him.
…FUCK IT LET’S TALK ABOUT DYSON TOO I JUST THINK HE’S INTERESTING (imo the most interesting character to dissect in Uprising but again that’s just me) this is stuff me and @stemgalhatesmath talk about ALOT
-Dyson is 100% emotionally and sexually stunted and you can’t convince me otherwise. His mind is always in work, or Clu. So you know, not a lot else on the mind when it comes to relationships, even on a surface level.
-Also fairly certain he’s gay (pretty sure that’s the consensus all around) BUUUT I think Dyson either doesn’t realize he’s gay, or is deliberately ignoring that fact because. You know. The man can barely get a grasp on his own emotions I don’t think he can get through understanding his own sexuality without help and we all know DAMN WELL Clu ain’t gonna give that shit to him.
-HOWEVER, I do think the second Dyson experiences ANY form of relationship he’s gonna cling on so damn tight you better believe that man will have no escape. Nope. None whatsoever.
-I’m just gonna say it. I think Dyson has rizz. I’m not even joking. I just think he’d be naturally good in bed (totally not because he’s afraid of failure in ANY WAY so he’s going to keep himself as adaptable as possible nah no stop what are you talking about)
In conclusion: Dyson—Bad man? Yes. Probably the best partner you will have once he learns/understands how relationships romantically work? Absolutely.
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*kicks down your door*
The newest chapter of Dazai’s Moving Detective Agency is so fucking good it is now my fave chapter I did not expect THAT to be the solution to the heart thing. Also the Akutagawa and Atsushi thing was Goddamn hilarious.
*Shakes your hand, fixes the door, and leaves.*
HULLO oh my gosh I'm sorry this took me so long to respond to alskdfjskfjs this ask was one of the ones that kept disappearing and reappearing in my browser inbox for some reason — ANYWAY YESSS (I want to talk about spoilers for chapter 19 so I'm gonna put them under the cut :0)
Ok so the heart thing! I wanted to mention that I remember seeing your comment where you theorized about how maybe the heart thing would be solved by Chuuya and Dazai kissing or saying "I love you" for the first time, and that maybe they could metaphorically share a heart between them, and the way you wrote it sounded so nice and romantic and lovely and while I was reading it I was internally just thinking "oh no" because of how it was actually going to go XD
In retrospect I really did have Chuuya solve it in the most brute force way possible aksdjfksfjks — speaking of that scene though, it did change a bit from the way I had originally planned it! Since I wrote the story back to front, I figured out the ending first, then the middle, then went back to the beginning and worked forward from there — so as a result, by the time I got back to the ending, a bunch of character stuff had changed.
Basically, in my first draft, Chuuya was going to get out of the chasm, find Dazai in the castle ruins, tell Yosano "before you say anything I know this is very medically inadvisable", then immediately pull his own heart out of his chest and split it in half (much to the utter horror of everyone watching). I was kind of hand-waving the magic aspect at that point, figuring "well, he's a star with a shit-ton of magic, he can probably survive doing wild stuff like that".
...But then I started writing everything out from the beginning, and added all the stuff with Chuuya learning not to shut out the people who care about him and to let them help him when he's in trouble, and in the process of really digging into his character arc I realized that I had made it so that him acting on his own like that would have been rolling back the character development I had already given him aksjdfksdfjskj SO I thought about it for a looong time and gradually figured out how to incorporate Rimbaud, Yosano, Kyouka, and the rest into all helping out in their own ways. And I ended up liking that version way better, since it fits more with the theme of support and the importance of all Chuuya's bonds he's made along the way, so I think it was worth the extra effort in the end!
...It still is a very brute-force way to solve it though XD Chuuya has a very straight forward approach to everything ksjfkdsj
ANYWAY that was a long ramble — I'm also really glad you enjoyed the Akutagawa and Atsushi shenanigans, I ended up having way too much fun with that part :D Their interactions are actually pretty similar to how I initially planned everything out (that end part where Dazai and Chuuya are completely wrapped up in each other while everything is spiraling out of control around them is heavily inspired by the ending of the book version of Howl's Moving Castle, and I had most of the dialogue for it figured out from the beginning).
...Honestly, considering how out of order I wrote it, I'm surprised I didn't have to scrap more scenes. As it is, the only things that really ended up getting changed/scrapped were:
A part of chapter 11 (in particular, the bit where Chuuya and Dazai talk after Dazai brings Akutagawa and Kyouka to the castle was originally a very different tone, because Chuuya was not supposed to have gotten as far along his "realizing he has feelings for Dazai" arc)(I do still kinda like the original version for the comedy aspect, but I like the way the final version fits with their relationship progression better)
A scene where Dazai was going to get drunk, which had to be scrapped entirely (I was basing it off of the book scene where Howl gets drunk and goes on a rant about the curse, but I ended up deciding that it a), made things way too obvious, and b), Chuuya should have absolutely figured everything out from what Dazai said and I didn't want to make Chuuya seem like a moron)
The final confrontation between Chuuya, Dazai, and Fyodor changed a LOT. I rewrote that scene. So many times. Similar to the Chuuya-pulling-out-his-heart-scene, there was a bit in my original draft that ended up being very out of character for Dazai because of how his and Chuuya's relationship had developed in the rest of the story, so I had to completely switch around how they got into the chasm in the first place. I again think it was worth the effort though, because I think where it landed (Dazai completely losing control of the situation and having to trust Chuuya to save them both) was more interesting for Dazai's arc as well.
Anyway, all that said— I've had a really really good time writing this fic, and I'm happy other people have enjoyed it too!! (And hopefully I can actually finish chapter 20 soon aksdjfksdj things keep getting in the way of it help)
#I am also so excited about the idea I got for the sequel aksdjfksdjfks but it's going to require a lot of planning#without giving too much away it's going to involve several season 4 characters#but yeah thanks for the lovely ask!! sorry again it took so long for me to respond aksjfksfj#howl's moving castle au#ask box
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Most of the notes I made for myself while watching Passion were complaints or criticisms, but I do think it’s worth saying up front that I honestly love this episode. For all its flaws I completely agree with the popular critical consensus on this one: I think it’s a genuinely great episode of television. One of the best parts of the high school seasons and quite possibly the highest peak the show has managed to hit so far.
In a lot of ways it picks up where Innocence left off. Both episodes lean heavily into the metaphorical reading of the newly soulless Angel as an older boyfriend who turned out to be a creep after Buffy slept with him (“Don’t tell me,” says Joyce early on. “He's not the same guy you fell for.”). Both episodes work very hard to show us that Angel is not redeemable – first with the Judge last season declaring him “clean” of humanity, now with Angel killing Jenny. But Passion hits a little harder, I think, because there’s no counterpart to that rocket launcher scene. The good guys don’t get to enjoy even a partial victory here.
Other thoughts:
I think this is a surprisingly good episode for Joyce, in a way we don’t typically really get until Season 3. It hits the right balance between showing that Buffy and her mother struggle to communicate but that this doesn’t mean they don’t bother deeply care about each other. Buffy’s concern for her mother is paramount throughout the first half of the episode (and Giles’ insistence that she can’t tell her mother about being a Slayer is more than slightly hypocritical, given that we’ve already been told that his parents always knew about him being a Watcher).
Of course Joyce herself isn’t perfect – she doesn’t know the whole story, and yes Angel only tells her that he slept with Buffy because he knows Buffy well enough to anticipate Joyce’s reaction – but however bad The Talk goes it doesn’t feel like this really had as much of an impact as Angel would have been hoping for. It doesn’t seem to have really damaged their relationship. I believe Joyce when she says she loves Buffy “more than anything in the world” even if (she thinks) Buffy’s trying to shut her out. And I think this particular conversation, and the way Buffy can only say “you’re not” when her mother suggests she’s “grossing her out” is the sort of thing Season 5 is calling back to when, three years from now, Buffy will tell Giles that “my mom is gone … and I loved her more than anything … and I don’t know if she knew.”
(I think the shot of Joyce hugging Willow when they get the call from Giles is a nice touch too. That whole scene from Angel’s perspective is so good, isn’t it? The whole framing device with his voiceover too. It should probably be kind of cheesy, but it’s not. Maybe it helps that I just think Angel is a really fun villain.)
Speaking of that scene: everything between Willow and Jenny is so sad knowing what’s coming up later. I remember being slightly surprised, back in Season 1, that Willow didn’t seem to immediately warm to Jenny despite their mutual interest in computers (“how come she’s in the club?” she protested in Prophecy Girl). But I think the show has done just enough by the halfway point of this episode to make it seem credible that of all the Scoobies Willow in particular would be hardest hit by her death. (The juxtaposition of Willow being excited and eager to take over Jenny’s teaching responsibilities at the start of the episode and then how somber she looks when she is taking over for her at the end is particularly good.)
It rankles slightly, in the way I’ve complained about before, that the script still reduces Jenny to “Giles’ girlfriend” at times and that one of the reactions to her death – by somebody who knew Jenny! – is “poor Giles”. Nobody even thinks to suggest that Angel might have killed Jenny for some reason other than hurting her boyfriend. Equally Giles seems unnecessarily dismissive of Buffy’s concern about the fact that Angel has been sneaking into her room at night at the start of the episode. But the scene with Jenny’s boyfriend attacking Angel in the factory (after the rather complacent advice of “you mustn’t let Angel get to you. No matter how provocative his behavior may become”) and then Buffy coming to save him, giving up the chance to kill Angel herself to pull him out of the fire, is so good I’m almost persuaded to overlook it.
And the mere fact of Jenny Calendar’s death itself – despite the weird retcon about her past and the fact the show insists she betrayed the Scooby Gang while showing us she didn’t, despite the fact they bury her under a name she never used in the show, despite the fact that after this season ends Jenny’s name will only be spoken on screen twice, despite the fact it establishes the precedent that will later be used for any number of increasingly questionable ‘shocking’ deaths in the Buffyverse – despite everything, it’s still utterly heartbreaking.
Jenny isn’t the first recurring character the show’s killed off, but she’s the first recurring character of any significance (with apologies to Jesse and Principal Flutie). Or, I suppose, technically she’s just the first recurring character of any significance who dies and doesn’t get better. The first recurring character who won’t be coming back. The first recurring character that Buffy and her friends show any sign of missing. And the first recurring character that the audience will care about losing.
I just think this episode could have been even better if the writers themselves cared about Jenny Calendar at all.
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Can you go on a brain rot of Alear I love hearing people gush about Characters they love and things they love since I love info dumping about Fiction.
Alear brain rot will never leave my brain, they are such an amaing and sweet character !
I love them they are so well written, they go through so much developpement from being kinda coward and very dependent on other to overconfident to realzing their mistakes and then finally become a great leader. The way both of Lumera's death is the occassion for them to showcase their character growth.
Also, I know people have been making meme about the "You are the Fire Emblem" scene but I think in reality it make so much sense. FE have always had its own holy trinity : the dragon, the blade and the Fire Emblem. So Alear is essentially a synthesist, not only of all Fe's protagonist but also of that holy trinity. It's by becoming an Emblem that they managed to transcend into "godhood" and break free from all the expectation that were pushed unto them : they aren't just a Fell or Divine dragon, they are both and more. Hence they reach a new level of apotheosis by becoming the vessel of the Fire Emblem, the holy trinity being complete.
There is just so many way you can read that scene, both metaphorically with Engage's story alone and from a meta-textual, intertextual point of view and that's true of Engage's story as a whole.
Alear is honestly such a complete and complex character that the real way one can really analyze all of their different facets is by doing what I do which is to say make analysis post of each of their differen't personalities and moment's to focus in detail. The fact that replaying over and over again this story and their narrative keeps getting enriched, that each time you get a new perspective... it's just making my hear of little literary student happy ʚ(´꒳`)ɞ
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