#I have some problems with finishing projects
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Just a little sneak-peak of my possibly long-term project
I just want to make my small contribution to a bunch of fanarts of @somerandomdudelmao and their art, but my paws are not able to draw in 2d :(
So...
I do what I can.
Cas your creativity inspired me to get out of stagnation and start experimenting in my 3d hobby again. I am sure that everything will be fine in the future.
#im sorry if my text have mistakes#i still learning how words work#I have some problems with finishing projects#but a want to do something#Cass#somerandomdudelmao#cass creature#3d#3d art#blender#dystopia au
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the "law being haunted by people from flevance" wasnt even a new idea i had i did it for the WIP i still have of the lyric comic i'm making (i'm being optimistic i know it's been literal years) and it's still one of my favorite panels :)
#trafalgar law#one piece#my art#but! i just did some sketches for the second half of the song and i'm so excited#bc that's where all the painful stuff is#just the problem is the song is So long#and i tire quickly of projects#haha that one Hell's coming with me comic strip that's still sitting in my drafts#it's so close to finished guys but it's been that way for over a year unfortunately#i still have so much law art in me when will it come out
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Look at them. Look at the
#milgram#milgram project#mikoto kayano#shidou kirisaki#0509#0905#my art#funny sketch dump i started drawing like a week ago while exhausted#some experimenting with colors since they're kinda a weak point for me#i think they turned out nice!...the only problem is that i don't remember what i did at all#eepy... literally envious of my Own art i want to be that cozy....#mkay back into my little hole i go i do Not have energy for anything or anyone it's a miracle i finished this (it took a Week)#these two sillies my Lifeblood please perceive them <3
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... why he sit like this
#in this position his face is extremely 'cartoon cat' shaped.. like the perfectly round cheeks and little#rounded bump of a snout.. big round eyes. etc. stretched over the arm of a chair like a weirdo#cats#It's still Hot Evil Summer time and I have so much to do so am just aimlessly hopping between various projects but not actually#getting anything done. as usual. Also so so so so tired. I almost fell asleep in the middle of the floor like 3 times today lol#Trying to finish some costume photos and also another poll adventure thing. plus I do really want to do a sculpture sometime#I haven't finished one in a while. Hopefully my tiredness is nothing bad.#Maybe I'm anemic again so that's making me tired. Or maybe it's just a Listless phase. not that I'm ever really THAT productive considering#all of the health problems and etc. always holding me back. but still. I'm not usually 'sleep or just stare at a wall literally all day' ty#e unproductive.. at least not for multiple days in a row so. hmm... Sometimes especially in the summer though I will have periods of time#that are listless like that. I am under low level phyiscal stress for months at a time due to summer heat so I guess it makes sense#that would eventually take a toll. I just have SO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!!! AAUUGhhh#I also came up with a new idea for a game that is so so cool and I wish I could make it but I have to finish the other one first lol#which I will NEVER do. if I spend all day just sleepy unfocused barely able to do anything#I also really need to sell some clothes and sculptures because I'll probably have to buy a new computer soon so I need money. (plus still#recovering the costs of having to euthanize my other cat.. wehh) There's nothing clearly wrong with it right now but it's getting gradually#slower and there's more weird glitches happening randomly and idk.. just weird things that make me think 'hmm... bad.. possibly.'#ANYWAY... I just have so much to do that I both REALLY want or need to do - so it's perpetually frustrating that I just can't for whatever#reason like. Time is always mving forward. every day I waste is a wasted day. The year is already almost half over. I havent finished#any of the projects I wanted to .. and there's only more and more things to do each day. It's overwhelming and stinky#and thats not even considering having to do all of my tasks also with the background noise of economic inequality. everything increasingly#going into an even scarier political direction. active climate change crisis. pandemic that still exists and is insane to act otherwise. et#etc. HOW am I supposed to solo make two whole games . write 3 book series. finish sculptures. do costumes. make outfits. game videos. make#stable network of social connections. do my little side crafts. take care of myself and cats. pay rent. manage health issues. keep a routin#.try to make some sort of money. go to doctors appointments. handle regular maintenance like cleaning and cooking and self care#and buying new plates when old ones break or etc. make sure to do other things like backup my computer data regularly. do shopping lists.#take care of plants. pursue like 6 different academic interests. do the other side side projects I have for fun (like music or carving avoc#ado pits). eat in a healthy way thats okay for my Special Health Issue diet. exercise so i don't die early. etc. etc. etc. AND all while it#82F in my apartment all the time and I have tiny income and also need to move to another country/climate somehow??? lol......#ANYWAY.. ..very frustrated today over my chronic Tired Sleepy.. time for Cat Photos - which cure all of life's ailments lol
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if there's anything i care about more than magical girls, it's magical women
#txt.mine#thinking about how much i love the niche cuz adult lifestyles have such a fun variety of moments to start a story with#and i feel like the balance of agency through life & work & purpose & desire can get skewed in suchh a good way#like. maybe some characters are unemployed or stuck in a dead-end job or unsustainable passion-project. maybe everyone's in the same career#it's just so fun to see ensembles with conflicting life-styles and watch how it goes when these people finally have a moment to talk again#or there's roommates who got scouted off the street then have to balance deeply contemporary problems and a patron who's passionate but also#needs proxies for material change [fighting monsters of the week]#anyway. im so sleepy#to the stories i am thinking of [magical girl friendship squad {youtube series}] [heaven will be mine {pc visual novel}] [life after magic#{pc visual novel. disclaimer that i havent finished lam yet; tho i started it on a whim & it's Pretty charming so far}]#i need to talk about these stories more. god i love when women are complicated & stuck in a strained community
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FSS3: an update
Hey,
Two days ago, I finished the first draft for FSS3, a fanwriting of Sanders Season 3 (season 2 finale included) that I am doing thanks to the sweet contributions/ideas/prompts given by the people of this fandom.
When two days ago I was writing the final episode that would end Sanders Sides, I realized that
it was boring
I was not satisfied by it
it was not what I planned
not all concepts seemed to be developed well
There was one possible solution only: to check everything again.
Some of you might think this is useless, because I already planned everything in advance, right? Well, when you write, stuff tends to be added or to change. Also, when you plan in advance, everything seems very smooth. But once you have the final result of your planning, things might be different. Still, it’s better to have it, because it makes it easier to go back from the start and check if everything really is as smooth as planned.
And so, here’s how I checked it.
Those are all the main concepts/plots I developed in each episode. I needed this to check
if all plots were developed during the season
if there weren’t too many temporal gaps
If they have been all wrapped up
But since this wasn’t enough, I also put the main ones into another graph
This gave me a better vision of how the themes have been developed and also how Character!Thomas should be developed.
And if you see these post-its, they all have a title. The title of a song of Character!Thomas’ playlists. After all, his playlist follows his character arc, so why not using it as a base to see if/how I followed his arc correctly?
And speaking of characters, I couldn’t leave behind the real main ones:
Here I wrote down what they did for each episode, then added the song titles. In this case, the songs don’t just help me see if I followed their arc, but act as a reminder of how I should write the Sides and focus on their personalities.
This also made me realize the dark boys never had a chance to talk about society, which is of course a huge oversight because they clearly love doing it every time they can.
And once I noticed this, I also realized what was sitting wrong with me: it was Roman’s character arc. Only by adding his songs, I realized that after the season 2 finale, I reverted his arc and made him full of doubts again. It could’ve worked if season 2 finale was one episode, but since we’re talking about 4 parts, Roman should start season 3 with a��better understanding of himself.
Once I corrected this point, Thomas’ arc improved as well and I was ableto take away one prompt that was more of a nuisance, rather than something useful.
And so, I planned season 2 finale again. Now Roman goes through a real arc, Patton is not in the back anymore and I have a chance to show Janus’ character better: this guy is useful, but he should be used well, otherwise he will end up being just a way to make jokes.
Now you may ask: why are you telling us all of this? The reason is that I learned some stuff that I want to share - and that I hope it could be useful for people who wants to write/plan to write anything.
First of all, this second check after the first draft confirmed me the importance of planning/putting down a whole project in advance, before submitting it to the public. Just imagine if I started posting stuff, without writing the end: I would’ve reached the last episode and realized that the beginning didn’t work. Then what? Take everything down and start again? All while people already read the first bad stuff I gave them? I would’ve lost credibility and people would’ve wasted their time.
Also, some episodes I planned are very good and I love them, so I would’ve hated to reveal them mixed with the bad stuff.
It also made me question, once again, how can Mr. Sanders think that writing a couple episodes at the time will help him properly wrap up the series. Sanders Sides currently has so many threads and plot points to explore, it’s impossible to properly wrap them up by planning just a couple episodes at the time. Even by planning the entire series in advance as I did, I realized there were a couple things I forgot! How can he not entirely forget/dismiss huge themes and concepts, if he doesn’t write the whole thing at once?
Last but not least, this served me as a reminder of how fun writing is. Planning the season 2 finale again made me happy, I loved the better focus I gave on Roman and Janus. And I can’t wait to replan/rewrite Roman during season 3.
Speaking of that: as you can see from my graphs, I planned 24 episodes. And I like that number, but I also realized some episodes are very short and they can be put together into one. Also, Roman’s rewrite will probably lead to less episodes in the first part.
So... well, I might end up wrapping all of this in less episodes than planned. Which is better, in a way, because it follows the trend of the first two seasons being less than 20 episodes.
In any case, I will keep you all updated.
Bye for now and I hope you are all having a great summer <3
#sanders sides#blog update#fss3#thomas sanders#this project helps a lot#I am learning good stuff#and having fun#I hope you will enjoy it too once it will be finished#no problem in giving you some spoilers now#I am going to change some things anyway#so it's okay#also good luck deciphering my writing and the language mix
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I’ll be fine, I just have to get it all out of my system (Patreon)
#Doodles#Spoiler alert: It has been got out of my system by this point lol#I had a bad writing day and it was terribly demotivating :P I've gotten over it lol#It was an Offline Monday and the previous several days had been such good writing days! To the point where I was worn out lol#But not recognizing that and expecting to just be able to Keep Going - well it led to a minor crash lol#Again nothing bad just complainy and demotivating I'm fine ♪#I am a little :/ about my devices being in the state they are that certainly doesn't help#My laptop's hinge and my iPod being so old and janky and my poor old tablet - still the main one I'm using lol#I think most of my USB drives are shot on this poor laptop so my new tablet that needs more than just the one just....doesn't work lol#It's a good backup to be sure tho! I do still kinda want a standalone proper-like... Investing in an iPad at some point is probably...#Well I'll worry about it more when it's an Actual Problem - for the moment everything is still working! Not the best but it's Doing!#Back to the writing et al lol - It was my Big Project which I think I've pretty clearly gestured at being an Adventure Time comic lol#I have not in fact rewatched the series beginning to end since finishing it - I've watched certain episodes but not just a front to back#I think a rewatch would be very entertaining! Seeing how all the pieces align from knowing the ending going in :)#But I'm good for the moment lol - I've got enough to work on to keep me going for a while yet haha#And as always I want More More More Tamagotchis#I've got my three but I want more!#Always about money huh :P Slowly but surely
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a minute of silence to my skills to estimate how long a project is ever going to take
#my google calendar and Carl bot (and my friends) have been kind enough to inform me today was the estimated posting date of heist au#suffice to say that is not happening#it would have been rad to make a habit out of the co-occurrence of starting a new job and starting to post a finished WIP but alas#that will not be happening for a while longer#I have no idea when will I find the time for writing between two jobs and the big bang but. we'll work something out.#but hey it's good to give your projects breathing space so your brain can do the work in the background and solve the problems for you#I'll probably need to go back and revamp the whole last chapter I've been working on#but I'm still too sick and jet lagged and sick to be thinking about that so I'll consume some more media in the meantime#and complain about how bad the fic I'm listening to is. like god it's supposed to be so romantic and cute and he's literally#depriving her bodily autonomy and her friends support him I want to leave a strongly worded comment so bad#I will not be doing that but god it's so awful I should have stopped listening to this fic long ago. so that's a lesson learned.#put the fucking fic down there's plenty of stuff that's going to be better#hot take I sure no one saw coming sometimes things that are popular are actually bad#anyway have some stream of fucking consciousness /ref to another fic I'm fighting hard to keep discontinued#I know I won't like it why is this so hard#heist au should have been posted today based on maths btw. maths I did wrong for the first time which means it should have been posted#a year ago really#not like I have the proper structure to do a heist au daily#but it would have been fun to post the first chapter on the exact day it takes place. idk just for flavour#does all this make any sense? hardly. this is a diary entry and my two braincells are firing random thoughts at each other#that's fine though. it's all fine. here have some popcorn to go with all this nonsense 🍿🍿🍿 <3#(and also all the drama in the new shadow and bone season. ugh it's so good I love Wesper SO. MUCH. or just Waylan. and Nikolai.#he's my blorbo assigned at first relevant information. relavant information: he's my friend's blorbo#but gods he's so my type it's scary. of course I'll have him as my blorbo. of course of course!#*puts him on a shelf next to Adrien Draco and Hunter*#*steps back to think before putting Waylan there too and sitting Zuko on the far end*#war crimes look so good on them :3#miaing#heist au
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How do I become a beta reader.
#fsh.txt#i feel like with some more experience i could do great as a story editor#i have a knack for teasing out narrative solutions to things like pacing problems#and figuring out how to fix problems within given boundaries#but ive only done it casually with buddies so idk how itd be to work with someone from start to finish on a project#that being said#i would really like to try!!#but not like. in a fanfic context?#theres a certain vibe and expectation of fanfic that im just not familiar with cuz i don't read a lot of it.....#also i tend to avoid fandom spaces so my perception of the requirements there are very murky#id be willing to try tho!
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ignoring my homework again
#art#traditional art#watercolour#oc art#blood#ocs#oc group: lia crystal darling#oc: bibi#LISTEN. i got some of it done#i finished like most of a big ass oil painting thats due next week. just gotta fix up some details#i have a big ass artist book project that i should have done more of today. but i am le tired#and dont ask me about my big ass art history assignment thats due in a couple weeks. im busy ignoring it#thats tomorrow me's problem. today me is drawing funny little cartoon characters
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continuing the outline for thralls, and holy shit does it get intense, emotionally. I don't think I ever got teary-eyed while outlining, but I very much did here (and because of romance??? what is going on???), and... Like, I think that besides two subplots that are still pretty vague in my head right now, it is starting to look very strong, but. I'm still very much on the fence about whether this is a story worth telling, especially now, and especially by me.
don't get me wrong, I think it's a good story. but I'm not sure that's good enough of a reason to bring it to screens.
#thoughts#thralls of power#animatic project#I think ganondorf's arc in particular... *has* to be like that#like there's no going around how crushing the child timeline is for him in particular#even if I did manage to find a workaround for a lot of the gerudos (though not all because otherwise it's also a problem)#but I did write about stuff inspired by real historical events because of work before#including some I actually regret my involvement with#(not because it was actively bigoted but I just think it wasn't mature or insightful or legitimate enough to be worth the inclusion)#(and also: it came from the mind of people who had no personal connection with these)#(and then they had to be written up with really short deadlines with not enough time to question anything really)#(when the subject should have demanded much more rigorous and respectful handling and research in my opinion)#so yeah. not sure how I feel about any of this.#the current episode is mostly fine so I think I can at least finish up this one#(yeah because it's episodeS of course it is who is suprised not me that's who)#and then yeah I don't know
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Have to give my final presentation for a course tomorrow (30 minute presentation followed by 30 minute interview) and I have not finished it. I’m 3/4 of the way done but I’m not finished. And I cannot find the motivation to finish it. Even picturing having to get up in front of the course instructor and say “yeah, sorry, I know I faithfully completed every assignment up until this point, even when I was also working 6 days a week, but I just decided not to finish the final worth 80% of my grade because I didn’t feel like it” is not inspiring the appropriate level of terror to motivate me to finish it.
#i dont want to fail this course#i did everything else#i even did the two-week final project#the practical part#i just have to write up and present what i did#but for some reason#i just cannot finish this ppt#ramblings#adhd problems
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I am sorry
#yaaayyy me art/writing block is gone!!! lemme open this project i wanna finish and work on it some more now!!!#and then i stare at the page for a good 5 minutes and then leave��#it is becoming a problem#which i am sort of fixing actually????#but still—#lmao anyways#the doodle was clearly more useful of my time—#have a good day#random stuff—#meh
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At the crossroads between wondering if it's worth it to basically completely rewrite all my WIPs or just take a break from writing for the rest of the summer
#i noticed every summer i get progressively worse lol#like not in terms of writing but in terms of everything else goin on in my head#i mean if anyone is craving some dark and depressing shit i've got bits and pieces here#it's like i'm writing for an audience even in my own mind. can't finish anything because it's __ __ __ etc and my niche is too niche.#did my last fic really burn me out that much?? i mean it was basically 30 thousand words and there was a LOT packed into it#maybe i should finally respond to comments and i'll feel better.#something's been going on with me for the past couple months (maybe longer) and i'm just annoyed ALL the time#feel like i want to give up everything and stop talking to everyone. ((it could be my out of whack hormones mind))#so if i haven't been as active and haven't drawn or written much that's why. i'm pulling away and curling in like an atrophied limb.#my brain is just permanently in school mode. i can feel it gearing up for the oncoming year that's going to be super intense.#like would it even matter if i post any more work before september? idk why i can never seem to chill or take a break for even a minute.#i still have drawing projects i want to finish at least! taking me literally all summer because of surprise health problems.#partner was consoling me about how i feel for writing '''weird''' stuff with almost no focus on romance#saying that SOMEbody has to write what i write so that should keep me going. i just tell myself that it could be worse -#- i could be primarily a femslash writer. they are the real heroes and they get no respect.#idk why i'm getting so angsty#i think i might be romance/sex repulsed atm. not in real life at all but in fandom. i'm bored of it. and i'm bored of conversations about i#i'm sure i'll change my mind in what two weeks or so.#maybe i'll try to write something original#i have things in my ask box i should respond to. like asks about my writing. i just haven't been feeling well#so i haven't had the right brain to respond :( but i see the asks and i'm grateful <3#anyway peace and love
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feeling sick constantly in the background all the time is like.. usually negligible-ish.. until multiple various chronic background issues all happen to overlap at once and then it’s like
#Like usually I cycle between like. joint pain issues. chest muscle injury stuff. back pain. stomach problems. headaches. etc.#There is never a day that I feel totally normal for the most part. but it's usually just little things here and there on and off#chronic things that seem to flare up sometimes. But then every once in a while it's like the flare ups align and I'll have 6 of the problems#at the same time and then is AaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#For some reason it's okay to deal with one or two of these things at any given time. but if I have to deal with like 3+ at once#or two of the old ones plus one NEW thing I've never had before or etc. etc.#I just can't even do anything. I run around stressed out of my mind unable to focus on any tasks or do anything but feel bad#then I cant even play games or do fun stuff becuause my brain wont let me be distracted from fixating on the fact that I feel bad#It's kind of the same way that it's stressful for me to go into grocery stores because my brain LITERALLY just is not capable of tuning out#all of the noises and lights and sensory information - so it' gets overwhelming quickly. I also just literally cannot tune out sensory infor#mation from my body. so if something feels even a LITTLE weird or a LITTLE painful or is even slightly different than usual#especially if it's overlapping with multiple other 'low level chronic pain' type things then my brain is just like.. being given way too muc#h information that it still cant tune out and then I can't focus and just walk around in a daze for however long until one of the issues#goes away on it's own (like joint pain flare ups usually come and go etc. etc.). or until I see a doctor abut whatever the new thing is#and maybe something they do or say actually helps or etc. etc.#Idk I have SO SO much I want to do the beginning of the year and so many projects to finish and things to post and schedules I have#written out for me to get on (like excercising more consistently and etc.) and it's just furstrating for my brain to just be like#ah.. nope.. we are not doing that. instead we are going to be completely incapacitated by a host of physical issues#which I think most ''normal people'' would just ignore like ''oh yeah I'll just load myself up on ibuprophen and coffee and energy#drinks and advil and sleep supplements and this and that'' or whatever but I can't do that it just makes stuff worse. I have to just sit for#days having a mind battle like 'okay yes we're having these problems.. but we can still like.. do SOMETHING right? we could like.. write#or draw. or things that don't take much energy'' and brain is just like NO!!! WE CANT!!! BECAUSE!! THING IS WEIRD!!!' and it's like okay#but thing is going to be weird. there's nothing we can do about thing being weird right now. so we should just focus on something else#'NO!! CANNOT TUNE OUT THING BEING WEIRD!! lets just fixate on it instead and wander aimlessly from thing to thing never able#to fully focus on any other task. hee hee''. anyway. hhghh.. sometimes I just get tired of having Various Ailments at any given time#especially unexplained ones or weird recurring problems that doctors haven't done much about because then it lends to paranoia like#'what if something is seriously wrong but I just dont know it yet?' which could be the case. I mean hopefully not. but I just hate stuff#being unexplained. because if there's no clear answer then the answer could be anything. even somehting bad. *** :V#ANYWAY gghhb... just bothered at the moment. I was going to come here like 'hey maybe I could post some drafts or pictures or something that#could feel productive!' but.. i dont feel like it. i dont care. too focused on Bad Feeling. just going to complain instead lol
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I tried to build Justin's house/farm in the Sims last night and I regret to announce its mental image in my head breaks the laws of physics and therefore it cannot be visualized
#Look. I just want the outside walls of both floors to be precisely on top of each other even though the downstairs hallway#and landing upstairs are right on top of each other#yet the rooms attached to them are deeper on the ground floor than on the first floor#also the entry downstairs is as deep as the bedroom right beside it which is also about three times as deep as the entry hope that helps#and the basic shape of the house is one large rectangle on both floors even though the backside of the house on the top floors has nothing#there and is practically unreachable#could I fix this by looking up some floorplans online and revising my idea? Yes. Do I want to? Ehhhhhh#I also have this problem with the camper they use to get around throughout parts 2 and 3 because I keep forgetting that Brenda and Chuck#excluded no one in this story is nearly as small as I am so I keep underestimating how much space they'll need#Technically I took care of it by putting little narrow bunks over the twin bed in the back of the camper and adding in an extra backseat#(making the camper quite long but fine)#and it already had convertible driver's and passenger's seats plus one of those foldable sleeping areas up top#but this is a recurring problem#I'm gonna build the WCKD facilities from part 4 after I solve the farm problem that's gonna be fun#I would love to build the house they all live in after everything's over but it relies on attic space and custom-design beds which the sims#is simply not capable of doing justice to#so. I guess I'll practice some drawing skills though I don't think that's a project I'll finish in the near future
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