The intrepid heroes always bring their unique flavor of chaos to the dome, but there is something so sweet about THIS flavor of chaos.

We’re like all going home. TOGETHER.

Keeping Up A-fear-ance's Thoughts

I finished writing this shortly after 3 am after watching the new episode like three times because I simply had too much energy about it and I have so many thoughts because I simply live for clawthornes and also I tried to break it up with more photos this time sorry not sorry if it's a lot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

YOUNG EDA!! let me just say I am quite a fan of opening with a flashback like we've done here and the last episode

"we have never seen a curse like this before" Lilith you had shit luck picking out curses huh

"cut it out if we have to" goddamn Gwen let'a calm the fuck down a bit.

anyways we've only really seen young Eda as a wild and confident and happy little child so I appreciate seeing this side of her with the anxiety and fear she's feeling here. I love seeing what the curse stuff was like for her as a kid

Gwen: I raised a perfectly fine kid

Me: no you didn't look at her she's got anxiety

I'm guessing this is their backyard or just some woods behind their house?? wonder if the portal was placed there by another elder family member.

lmao I can't even begin to imagine what small Eda experiencing the human realm was like for the first time

Gwens giving me "I can't accept that my child is disabled/chronically ill/etc." here. y’know the kinda parent that'll put their kid through hell over something they probably will find a way to learn to live with (which Eda did do)

ok that's it I humbly request to know the story behind the fang now (also the noise she made when she put it in was freaking cute)

new dress! new boots! new dress! new boots!

..yikes that fridge is empty

"calm down the curse acts stronger when you're stressed" Eda do you know who you're talking to here

confirmation losing limbs is in fact a side effect of the curse!! (y'know since Eda originally said it just happens when you get older)

please I love these sisters they're so sweet and make me wanna go 🥺

"suddenly curious about my past" "always. always curious" Luz says exactly what we all think

witchlet?? sweet flea?? she's got pet names for them 🥺 (although idk how much I'd like to be referred to as any kind of flea sorry Lilith)

ok Gwen is very much not close to what I expected and I'm kinda grateful for that

she's more like super caring but still managed to royally fuck up which was my original head canon for clawthorne parents so uh that's cool. but literally, look at their body language, Eda's pissed, Lilith's sad and making herself small. she's clearly messed up with her parenting on both of them along the way.

"who knows what they put in those nasty concoctions?" mama clawthorne would be a fucking anti-vaxxer wouldn't she

ok I side with Eda here more than Luz and Lilith. just because Luz misses her mother, or Lilith hasn’t seen their mom in so long doesn’t mean Eda has to feel all grateful for the presence of Gwen, especially if the woman has caused her a lot of trouble over the years

I feel like the fact that its actually both Lilith and Gwendolyn have spent their whole lives dedicated to trying to find a cure could probably have held some kind of weight on Eda at some point. Even though she shouldn't feel guilty or responsible for that, I still feel like it's gotta suck knowing these people have spent so much time on something you know is likely never gonna happen, all for you.

Lilith 😞 her mother really just didn't pay attention to her all these years

hey if this guy does some next level healing magic then why isn't he more well-known, huh? why’d it take so long to come across him?? Gwen do you know what the fuck you're doing cause I think you don't

Lilith just because you're depressed about your mom doesn't mean you have to bring king down too 😠

SUPER irrelevant but is anyone else just bothered by the way Lilith is holding her spoon?? that doesn't seem like a comfortable way to hold a spoon. also is she left handed??

"knife season came early" EDA WHAT DOES THAT MEAN. is this a boiling isles things or is this a it’s common for people to throw knives at you thing

also I want to be surprised Eda fell for the apple blood signs but I am not 😔 

Luz please trust you're gut on this one and not mama clawthorne

ok now I need to know why the fridge was empty but they had 18 cartons of ice cream this is why you guys don't have food you're wasting it all on ice cream.

wow never thought I'd see the day hooty became the voice of reason

also, night market ice cream?? are they implying this ice cream is like, edibles of some sort?? Lilith does seem kinda high here ngl. idk man but at least she wants to stand up for herself so good for her.

PLEASE kings just offering her ice cream while she transforms

"first in a series" Gwen honey oh no. you've been duped. I think we can see where Lilith got her naïveté from huh.

Also, nice snatch Luz 😊

anyways love how this show is basically making fun of moms who refuse to give their kids proper medical treatment or listen to medical professionals here

EXCUSE ME why do we know Gwen's palisman's name before we know Lilith's?????

"I am a mother who'll do anything for her daughter" you're mom who's suffocating obsession with one daughter has left the other neglected and is currently causing her to turn into a full on beast ya dummy

Eda DOES have a right to be upset. it sucks that her own valid emotions that she should get to feel will cause her while body to betray her.

PLEASE I’M SO GLAD LILITH’S BEAST DESIGN LOOKS LIKE HER AND IS NOT THE THING FROM THE TRAILER THAT IS ACTUALLY IN EDA"S HEAD WHEN SHE’S TRANSFORMED

but also why is she SO massive?? also anyone concerned that this is her first transformation and the light glyph trick wouldn't even work??

Gwen look at what you've done, you've fostered feelings of inferiority in one daughter causing her to feel the need for sibling rivalry that the pure instincts of the raven beast cannot suppress no matter how much their sisterly relationship had improved.

HOW COULD YOUR OTHER DAUGHTER ALSO BEING CURSED BE A PART OF THE PROCESS GWEN??

"after Eda was cursed, I joined the beast keeping coven" woah woah WOAH. you're telling me you only joined because of trying to help Eda. that covens existed, before Eda got cursed, and you very much weren't a part of one. combine that with "some words for belos" she has and do I smell wild witch theory still plausible???

anyways at least mama clawthorne is getting some sense into her head here

Morton c'mon help a girl out, that's some dang good art too what the heck dude

ok fine mama clawthorne to the rescue

no pls not raven beast Lilith crying im crying now

Gwen: I raised a fine and self-sufficient child

Me: no you didn't look at her. she's got, SO MUCH.

GODDAMN THATS SOME POWER. ngl this only adds fuel to the fire in my head that there was some kinda reasoning these sisters were torn apart, that someone felt they'd be too powerful together (and they were probably right)

"I heard you but I couldn't stop myself, I couldn't do anything" may be just because she's not used to the curse but again part of me is concerned that because she couldn't pull herself out of it even a little bit like Eda did that there's something wrong there. but she also could've been stressed beyond reasonably calming herself down too.

ok but this is sweet

NOOO im so sad Lilith's leaving :( I literally cried ok

"you lived here?" fine OKAY king that was hilarious even if im sad about this

"reconnect with dad" excuse me where the fuck has this man been in the middle of all of this. curse shit is going DOWN and he's just chilling at home.

I am curious about people's thoughts regarding the whole Lilith regression thing and the fact that she's literally going to be living with her parents again. I feel like it could help nurture that inner child she's been reverting back to and help her out a LOT. but I could also be concerned about it feeding into the regression and making it worse?? idk and this show probably ain't getting that actually deep into psych anyways

"some day my hair is gonna be big enough to do that too" Luz I cannot wait for the day. also mood, I wish I could do that too.

alright who's holding the fucking pen for hooty we need a volunteer RIGHT NOW so we can remain in contact with Lulu

NOT THE ONLY HUMAN? my bets on the real azura rip never mind she said he

Titan’s Blood?? interesting. If the blood of the titan is around I wonder what that means regarding the titans existence, and how long its been since the titan fell.

AHH BABY LUZ PHOTO

ALSO WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?? They're really gonna spring that on us like this??? Camila's gotta notice somethings wrong right??? Unless any differences she just chalks up to the camp?? oh god :(

well, anyways lumity shippers come get yo juice next weekend

anyways im gonna need to add a NOT canon compliant tag on that one Gwendolyn fic I wrote because it definitely do not comply anymore

Pancakes To Cure The Nightmares - The Devil´s Daughter Chapter Four (Lucifer Morningstar x Daugther!Reader)

[Lucifer-Masterlist], [The Devil´s Daughter-Masterlist]

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Summary: Your first night on Earth ended with you having this recurring nightmare again. To your luck, Dan was right by your side and calmed you down. He suggested you to come with him to work so his team could help you further.

Words: 1,914

Warnings: Lucifer Season 5 Part 1 spoilers, nightmares (flashback in italics), sassy reader (we´re getting there y´all), I know right now it seems like a Dan x Reader but I PROMISE it isn´t

If you like my work & wanna support me: a coffee would be highly appreciated ❤

Your night was peaceful. As peaceful as it had not been in forever. Though, at like 6 am, Dan was already in the kitchen, preparing the pancakes he promised you, he heard a piercing scream coming from Trixie´s room. Immediately, he left everything behind and sprinted towards you. When he opened the door, and thank God you did not lock it, he saw you writhing in the bed. Your face showed displeasure. Slowly, Dan made his way over to you, soft reassurances out of his mouth. Nightmares were nothing new to him. When Trixie was younger, she got them every now and then. The worst thing one could do was shaking the dreaming person awake. This could cause even more fear. Dan´s hands reached out towards your shaking frame, lightly touching you.

“(Y/N)? It´s me, Dan. You´re safe here. Nobody can hurt you. You´re okay.” he repeated these words like a prayer and after a short time you had stopped tossing. Your eyes shot open and you were faced with Dan right in front of you. The sight of him made you let out a small scream. Not because he was scary but because you kind of forgot that you were at his house.

“It´s alright, (Y/N). Nobody´s here but me.” his smile managed to calm you down. Your breathing was still irregular and your heart was hammering against your chest. Ashamed of what just happened, you averted your gaze from him. For a few minutes neither of you said anything. The only thing you could feel was a strong, warm hand rubbing soothing circles on your back.

“Sorry.” was all you could bring yourself to say.

“What are you sorry for?”

“Everything. For invading your house and now for screaming like a crazy ang-um person.”

“Last time I checked, I was the one who invited you in. As I said, it´s fine.” Dan´s statement made you grin. He was too pure for this world. God would take a liking in him for sure.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” he tried.

“About what?” your clueless expression made the man next to you chuckle.

“Your nightmare?” he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. To you, though, it sounded as if he wanted to get more information out of you. In your defense, you were not the best when it came to reading people. It was not like you ever really cared about that. Not until now at least.

“Oh...just a weird dream. One that keeps recurring every other night. Nothing to worry about.” your smile at the end made Dan drop the topic.

“Okay, um. I´m preparing the pancakes I told you about yesterday. Meet me at the kitchen when you´re ready, yeah?” he stood up and walked his way over to the door but not without looking back at you. A small smile was written over your face, one that he copied. Then, he was gone again.

~nightmare flashback~

Your chambers were rather quiet today. Everyone had canceled on game night. Apparently they were all doing heavenly duty. Whatever that meant. Another day all alone. What would you be doing today? Overthinking? Daydreaming? Something like that. Your thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock on your door. This knocking technique did not sound familiar to you. When you did not have much to do you started noticing the small details. Like how Michael always knocked four times. How between the third and fourth knock was a longer pause. How Gabriel kind of knocked the words “Gabriel is here” on your door. Or how Raphael used his palm instead of his knuckles. Or how God did not feel the need to knock at all. So who was at your door right now? Another angel, maybe? Highly unlikely, though. Before you had time to process, your door was swung open. All you could muster was a blinding warm light that made your eyes squint. After a few moments, when you adjusted to the brightness, you could see a red-ish figure standing in the middle of your chambers. It had broad shoulders that did not match the rest of its body. itshead, in comparison, was way too small. But wait a second. Its head. Were these horns? You had to take a closer look to assure yourself that you were not hallucinating. Its face was deformed, almost like it had been burned one too many times.

“Daughter.” a deep, manly voice echoed trough the walls. No. No, that was not possible. It could not be. Michael had told you about the Devil´s appearance and it came pretty close to what was standing in front of you right now. Besides, Lucifer was in hell. He was hell´s ruler and if he was here now then it meant that hell was without supervision.

“You really think you can hide from your true self, (Y/N)? You are my offspring. A little Devil. More sooner than later you´ll be just like me.” his arms raised in a convincing way, a smirk playing at the corners of his mouth.

“I AM NOTHING LIKE YOU.” your throat was burning by how loud you screamed.

“Your wings are meant to do great work. You and I, we would be a great team. Torture is in your nature, like it is in mine. Give in, (Y/N). We both know that you want it.” Satan came closer to you, grabbing you by your shoulders and pulling you towards your door. No matter how loud you screamed, how hard you fought, no one heard you and you felt hopeless. No, this was not you. You were not like your father. You did not have any torturous desires. You were an angel, not a torturer. Right before the Devil could push you through the door you had never been through, your eyes shot open. Breathless and shocked of the images that previously danced in your mind.

~nightmare flashback end~

In the bathroom, you tried to wash away the dark images by splashing cold water in your face. That seemed to work quite well. You were definitely feeling way better than yesterday. A look in the mirror reassured your thoughts. Today, you were more like yourself. Hopefully, you would not scare Dan away by your sudden change in behavior. He would most likely understand it, though. When you exited the bathroom you were met with a smell of what you assumed to be pancakes. This would be your first time trying actual breakfast. Sure, you had breakfast in heaven but it was not actual breakfast. You were beyond excited to say the last.

At the end of the hallway you came to a stop and watched Dan in the kitchen. How he flipped the pancakes in the pan like he had never done anything else. The sight of him made you smile widely. Before he could catch you staring at him, you made your way over to the kitchen as well.

“Are you sure you´re a Cop and not a professional chef or something?” this question made him look at you with confusion at first. Looked like you did need that sleep after all. Dan could tell you were way more comfortable today.

“Chef in the morning, Cop the rest of the day.” he matched your tone. “I already put some on your plate. Maple syrup is on the table. I didn´t know how much you wanted on your pancakes.” he pointed to the dining area. You sat down where a full plate was positioned. Unsure of how much syrup would be appropriate you waited for Dan to finish the last pancakes. As he sat down opposite from you with his plate, you noticed his wide eyes, how proud he was of these pancakes. He was cute, really. How he got excited over the small things in his life. Dan was the first to grab the maple syrup and poured a good amount of it all over his plate. After that he handed the bottle to you and you poured just as much all over yours. The first bite tasted heavenly. Did you really use that word? During breakfast, neither of you talked much. You simply thanked him for his efforts.

“Do you want a cup, too?” he asked as he poured himself a big cup of freshly brewed coffee.

“Yes, thank you.” the confidence in your voice hid the fact that you had never even tried it before. There was a first time for everything, right? The first gulp was kind of disgusting but the more you drank the more you liked it. After you guys finished everything, you helped him bring the dishes to the sink.

“I´ll do them later when I get home.” he motioned for you to follow him.

“So, (Y/N). I thought about something. How about you accompany me to work today? We have a great team that could help you out. How does that sound?” the man was in his bedroom, searching through his dresser to find something suitable for work.

“Sounds good. Not to be rude or anything but...do you have any other clothes? There´s nothing wrong with them, they just look rather scruffy.” you stated without a second thought. Suddenly you heard laughter erupt the room Dan was currently in.

“There she is.” he chuckled while exiting his bedroom with dark jeans and a grey tight fitting shirt that hugged his muscular body.

“Didn´t even notice your muscles last night. Working out a lot, I see.” by now your confidence had fully returned. A blush started to slowly rise up his cheeks.

“Aren´t you a bit young to flirt with an old guy like me?” his left arm came up the scratch the back of his neck.

“I´m not flirting, I just like intimidating others. So...about the clothes?” you quirked your eyebrows as you remembered him yet again of your unsuitable outfit.

“Right. Give me a second. I think there should be some of Chloe´s clothes around here somewhere.” Dan ran over to one of the dressers in the living room, opening various drawers to search for anything that you could wear.

“Chloe?” you questioned.

“Trixie´s mom. There you go, that should work for now.” Dan handed you a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a white basic shirt. Grabbing everything you walked over to the bathroom to change into the borrowed clothes. They fit you surprisingly well. Taking another look in the mirror you started gaining faith again. Faith in the future. Faith in Earth. You were finally home.

“(Y/N)? We should head out or I´ll be late for my shift.” Dan´s voice could be heard from the entrance hall where he was currently busy with tying his shoes.

“I´m coming!” you answered while jogging towards him. After you put your shoes on you opened the door and were met with a warm breeze. Hard to imagine that yesterday, you were freezing and today you were perfectly fine with a shirt only.

“Ready?” Dan asked you from the driver´s side after you put your seat belt on.

“I was born ready.” the smirk that followed afterwards made him let out a low laugh. He was glad that you felt better already. Yes, you were a sassy one, one that kind of reminded him of Lucifer, but the only difference was that he genuinely liked you. And he definitely liked this version of you better than the one he was met with yesterday.

~to be continued~

Next Chapter 

Published (09/14/2020) by Cathy

Tags: @fandomqueen2003, @natashaashleymarvelromanoff, @severewobblerlightdragon, @tenderlyunlikelyexpert, @zoseph, @comicbucky-s, @dad-ee-drea​, @xbarrjallenx, @marvelofwitch, @aceofspace95, @julessbrown, @thevelvetseries (let me know if you want to be tagged <3)

Defining Psychopathy

Psychopathy, often confused with sociopathy, is an anti-social personality disorder. Both mental health conditions are characterized by:

Need for violence.

Disregard for social norms, conventions, and laws.

Lack of remorse & guilt.

Deceitful nature.

However, sociopaths usually are emotionally unstable and tend to act on compulsion, lacking patience and planning. Psychopaths are attentive to details, calculated, and plan every action they intend to pursue – be it legal or illegal. Therefore, they leave few clues and take fewer risks. Over time, multiple conceptions of psychopathy developed – most of which overlap, but some contradict others.

Just like sociopathy, psychopathy can be caused by genetic and environmental factors. This means children can inherit it from the parents but also develop it during the lifetime after abuse, emotional shock, or living in an unsuitable environment. But one can also acquire psychopathy after a traumatic brain injury. It has been discovered that the prefrontal cortex is responsible for our social behavior and acquired psychopathy is often linked to trauma in this area.

Another prevalent theory states that psychopathy is genetically inherited and can be triggered by environmental factors, while sociopathy is only developed throughout life. No matter which theory we follow, Dexter Morgan is much closer to being a psychopath than a sociopath. However, he does struggle with keeping his Dark Passenger under control at times.

Dexter Morgan, The Psychopath 

Dexter Morgan is a forensic expert, but he most frequently calls himself a blood spatter analyst. Even though he commits horrendous crimes throughout the show, we root for him and find bits of ourselves in his narratives. We see how he evolves from a cold-blooded serial killer to a cold-blooded serial killer who cares about some of those around him. The personal way in which he narrates his experiences further increase the connection we feel with this character. He often contemplates on aspects of the day-to-day life using first person pronouns in plural forms, which works on our subconscious. This is one of the many techniques used by real-life psychopaths, and Dexter Morgan proves again and again that they work.

“They make it look so easy, connecting with another human being, it’s like no one told them it’s the hardest thing in the world.” – Dexter Season 5 episode 12, “The Big One”

Dexter’s sense of righteousness instilled by his adoptive father fires up conflicted feelings on his morality. On the one side, he murders people in cold blood and enjoys it. But on the other, he gets rid of “bad seeds” the justice system could not charge. Ultimately, he is saving lives while satisfying his dark passenger, being a modern vigilante.

“We all make rules for ourselves. It’s these rules that help define who we are. So when we break those rules we risk losing ourselves and becoming something unknown.” – Dexter Season 7 Finale, “Let’s Give the Boy a Hand”

These, together with his continuous struggle to control his urges and do as little damage as possible to society, make us all feel sympathy for Dexter. Because we know the terrible things that happened to him, we understand what caused this behavior. But would he feel the same about us?

The Profile of Dexter Morgan

Dexter Morgan is persuasive, intelligent, deceitful, and a psychopath.

He killed well over 100 people (at least 134 documented cases) and shows no remorse about this – in fact, he believes he benefits society. Moreover, he likes to take trophies – a single drop of blood from each of his victims, carefully placed on a glass slide. Dexter has a ritual that is full of meaning for each of his victim’s crimes and likes to confront them and let them know he knows what they did. He feels empowered by this, he feels he finally has control.

Dexter is neat, sometimes compulsive, and likes to keep order in his life. He always plans his actions and waits for the best and safest time to make a move. This is what differentiates himself from a sociopath. He likes being and working by himself because using his “mask” is tiring. But even though he has an anti-social behavior, his social skills are way above average.

“People fake a lot of human interactions, but I feel like I’ve faked them all and I fake them very well. And that’s my burden, I guess.”

Dexter Morgan can be best psychoanalyzed using Freud’s structural model of the psychic apparatus which defines three dimensions of the mind:

The id represents our uncoordinated instincts, with a focus on pleasure and desire. The id is often associated with evil, lust, sin, and the like. The super-ego is the moralizing element, responsible for assimilating social norms and behaviors. It’s the virtuous, pure, and wholesome dimension. The ego, a realistic and rational influence on our thought process, usually mediates these two antagonizing elements.

Even though most individuals naturally balance these three dimensions, Dexter Morgan struggles do so. He spent all his life observing those around him and trying to mimic their behavior, knowing he will never act like them naturally.

Dexter’s Id

After the age of 6 years old, most individuals suppress their id and manage to focus their mental and emotional energy towards following social norms. But Dexter was not able to do so and, as a consequence, his id rules his life. Even as a child, Dexter enjoyed killing animals. In fact, taking a life is the only thing that makes Dexter feel alive. Sex does not interest Dexter, which we can also blame on the trauma he suffered as a child at a critical age for his (among others) psychosexual development.

Dexter’s Super-Ego

Dexter refers to the people surrounding him as humans, feeling detached from his own humanity. There is plenty of evidence throughout the show that demonstrate Dexter has a seriously underdeveloped super-ego if any. His adoptive father, Harry, created an artificial super-ego dimension in his mind through a few strict guidelines. However, Dexter’s subconscious never adopted them as its own and, as a result, he sometimes struggles to follow them.

Dexter does not understand religion. The only higher power he knew was his adoptive father, who also created the code. He has difficulties in developing real relationships of any nature with those around him but has gotten very good at faking them.

Dexter’s Ego

Instead of balancing out the 2 other dimensions, Dexter uses his ego to hide them from society. He goes above and beyond to hide his true self. He fights the recurrent feeling of emptiness that can only be relieved by killing.

How Dexter Morgan Came to Be a Psychopath

There are a few theories about how Dexter became what he is, but they all rely on the emotional and psychological trauma he suffered as a child.

Dexter saw his mother brutally murdered when he was only 6 years old and sat in a shipping container in a pool of her (and others’) blood for 2 days. This affected his emotional development and understanding of social norms, which he has difficulties adapting to.

Dexter understands he is a disturbed individual. But even though admitting the problem is often times the first step to resolving it, psychopathy has no cure (yet). There are no pills, vaccines, or therapies that erase traumatizing memories from our subconscious, induce empathy, or warm up a murderer’s blood.

But Dexter lacked a mother figure during his most important years, even before she was murdered. He was deprived of the warmth, closeness, and affection only a mother-son relationship would provide. Even though loving, his mother was not as present in his life as she should have been – and neither was his father. They were both addicted to drugs and involved themselves with dangerous figures, which ultimately lead to their demise. Even though a loving, caring family took him in at the age of 6, the damage was already done.

“I was there. I saw my mother’s death. A buried memory, forgotten all these years. They climbed inside me that day. And it’s been with me ever since. My dark passenger.” – Dexter Season 1 Episode 11 “Truth Be Told”

Moreover, his need for power and control were overindulged in a try to create a warm environment for the troubled child. But this only increased the distance between Dexter and humanity, between an impressionable child and his remorse and guilt.

Dexter Morgan & His Dark Passenger

Most of the time, Dexter Morgan is able to suppress his passenger. But it still needs to be let out from time to time, and when it does, Dexter refers to the process as the Dark Passenger “taking over”. He already knows that it will get out one way or the other, so he doesn’t try to fight it. In fact, Dexter finds comfort and acceptance in his Dark Passenger, the only entity that accepts him for who he is.

“I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask… not just me. People think it’s fun to pretend you’re a monster. Me, I spend my life pretending I’m not. Brother, friend, boyfriend – all part of my costume collection. Some people might call me a fraud. Let’s see if it will fit. I prefer to think of myself as a master of disguise.” – Dexter Season 1, Episode 4

Dexter manages to separate and balance out his natural self and the façade brilliantly. He is seen as a loving son, brother and as a reliable and helpful coworker.

The Code of Harry

Harry was more than just Dexter’s adoptive father. Together with Aaron and Deb, he was his family in the most real sense of the word.

“If I were capable of love, how I would have loved Harry.”

Since they could not stop Dexter’s urge to take life away, Harry decided to channel it. Therefore, Harry developed a code together with his therapist in which he confided about Dexter’s condition. As his father put it, the code focuses on survival and doing as little wrong to the world as possible. Dexter needs to be sure he kills the right person and to have proof for his deeds. But above all, he needs to never, ever risk having collateral victims.

Even though frustrating and rage-inducing at times, Dexter abides by the Code of Harry. However, he does take advantage of technicalities to satisfy his dark passenger at times, racing with the police and even hiding evidence in order to punish criminals himself even with his friends’ and coworker’s career on the line.

“Without the Code of Harry, I’m sure I would have committed a senseless murder in my youth. Just to watch the blood flow.” – Dexter Season 1 Episode 3, “Popping Cherry”

The Morality of Dexter

Yes, Dexter Morgan is brutal, ruthless, and cruel. Ever since Harry Morgan took him in, Dexter made efforts to comply with social norms. Even though he pretended for decades, he makes efforts to preserve appearances every day. None of the behaviors he adopted for so many years got under his skin, none of them come naturally even after all this time.

But this doesn’t mean Dexter Morgan is stone-hearted or completely devoid of feelings. After all, he does feel anger, hate, and affection and admits that he needs the people in his life. He realizes how scared he is of losing his family. 

Even though supposedly rudimentary, some of these feelings scare and intimidate Dexter Morgan because he doesn’t know how to handle them.

there are no gods (so we cannot be them)

Bellamy trudged through the woods, Octavia, Diyoza, and Xavier flanking his sides. He moved faster than them, his strides longer as the sky grew darker in Sanctum.

His arms were full, but Clarke’s body lying in them felt like it weighed nothing. He just kept walking, faster and faster. Determined. For her.

He had only gotten out of Sanctum about an hour ago, fleeing with Josephine after administering a dose of the paralytic. Murphy had helped him break free and subdue her, but they both knew Bellamy had to run like hell. Whatever the cure was for this, in Sanctum or out of it, Josephine having access to her people was dangerous.

So Murphy was to stay and look for something, anything to prove that the worst they believed was wrong. And Bellamy was to take to Clarke – Josephine, to Raven, Echo, and Emori, and figure out a plan from there. That was what was supposed to happen.

Instead, the first people he ran into in the woods were his sister, Diyoza, and one of the Children of Gabriel, who called himself Xavier.

It was Xavier who made him change his mind about the plan, because Xavier said there was hope. He said Clarke could be saved.

And so he marched, Clarke’s paralyzed form lying still in his arms, following Xavier’s instructions. Hope is hard to come by, he wasn’t going to lose this.

-----

A season 6 wish fulfillment spec fic. Read it on AO3 or continue under the cut.

“It’s not much farther to the Old Man.” Xavier says.

“You can’t trust him, Bell,” Octavia speeds up her pace, trying to match his strides. “The others said they didn’t even know if the Old Man was alive. He’s lying to you.”

Xavier snorts, “Tosh didn’t know if the Old Man was alive. Lucky for you I’m a lot more in the loop than Tosh.”

She snarls, “He’s still not trustworthy. He’s been searching for nightbloods this whole time. They kill them. Their whole slogan is death to primes!”

Bellamy pauses, just for a second, but abrupt enough that everyone trailing stumbles a bit as they come to a halt. “To primes? But what about the people they were before?”

Xavier nods. “We kill primes. We save hosts.”

“But-” Octavia starts.

“No buts,” Bellamy cuts her off. “We’re doing this. And if you’re lying to me,” he looks at Xavier, “I’ll kill you.”

Xavier smirks. “I’m not. I’ll help you get your girlfriend back, don’t worry.”

Bellamy doesn’t correct him. It doesn’t matter at this point. She’s… Xavier couldn’t understand the bond they had. What they were to each other. What they are. Are. Are. Are.

The lifeless weight of Clarke is finally starting to get to him, suddenly heavier in his arms than ever before. “How much longer? I don’t know how long this paralytic is going to keep her under.”

“Not far,” Xavier answers. “How long has she been out?”

“About an hour.”

Xavier nods. “We’ll be good, the standard dose knocks you out for around two.”

Somehow, walking in silence is worse than stilted conversation. When his mind drifts to his sister, it hurts. He doesn’t even want her here, but feels strangely comforted that she is and he’s mad about that. When his mind drifts to Clarke, it hurts. She’s here in his arms, but the last real memory he has of her face is of a twisted smile, not Clarke. Josephine. And he’s mad about that. Diyoza’s uncharacteristically silent, and Xavier isn’t much for chatting. So, all Bellamy can do is think. About his sister. About Josephine. About Clarke. It hurts too much to hurt, so all Bellamy can be is angry.

“We’re here.” Xavier announces, stopping in his tracks. Bellamy can’t even register when the man started walking in front of him.

“It’s a bunch of bushes,” Octavia deadpans.

Diyoza pushes past her and kneels to the ground, running her hand over the soil, then under the bush. She looks up at Xavier. “Trap door?”

He nods. “Foliage has grown into a good cover for it. The only people who know about this place are the Old Man’s most trusted advisors.” He pushes through the shrubbery, leans down, and yanks up the latch, revealing a ladder, which he proceeds to climb down.

“We’re really just going to follow him?” Octavia asks. Skepticism lines her voice.

Diyoza shrugs. “We’ve come this far.” She makes her way down the ladder next.

Octavia follows.

Bellamy’s still holding Clarke, and he wishes he could look down at her and see peace. Like she’s his Clarke and she’s just resting, but her eyes are still frozen wide in terror from when he dug the paralytic into her side. Her mouth is hanging open slightly, shock evident all over her face. It’s not Clarke.

Before he goes down, Bellamy stops and looks to the sky. He doesn’t believe in God, but he still prays. To something, anything out there that can help him.

Bring Clarke back. Please.

He hits the floor of the underground with a thud, then checks to make sure Clarke is fine. The impact has jostled her hair so it’s falling slightly in her face. He gently pushes it out of the way.

“This is the prime?” The voice is cracked and rusty.

The Old Man is an apt description. White hair frames his face, cascading down past his shoulders. A full beard covers his jaw, and his face is lined with wrinkles, etched irreversibly into his skin.

Xavier responds for him, “Yes.”

“You can set her down here,” The Old Man gestures to a slab in the middle of the room.

Bellamy eyes his surroundings. He was expecting a dark and dingy underground, but everything here is sleek and doesn’t look far from brand now. It’s a fully functioning lab. Computer monitors beep from all sides, invading his senses. There are cords and screens plugged in on every surface. It eerily reminds him of Becca’s lab.

Bellamy lays Clarke down on the table. “You can help her?”

“I can try,” The Old Man corrects. “I have a serum, an antidote of sorts. It should wake the dormant part of the mind, bringing back the host consciousness. After that, I have to remove the mind drive and destroy it.”

“Should.” Octavia cuts in. “It should wake the dormant part.”

The Old Man’s face inexplicably becomes more wrinkled as he frowns. “I have tried the procedure before but it has never worked… fully. The people come back, but fragmented. Parts of who they once were. The prime is completely removed but the host consciousness still isn’t full in its own mind.”

Bellamy spins on Xavier. “You took us here for a procedure that never works?” He growls.

Xavier’s stoicism doesn’t break. “This is why we try to get the hosts before the primes get to them. Why we kidnap children.” He looks pointedly at Diyoza, “If we grab them before the prime is implanted, they’re safe. Most of the time we’re too late. But at least this way, the prime is destroyed.”

The Old Man stays calm. “The procedure improves each time. Every time I bring a host back, they’re more complete. I’ve updated the serum. I’m as confident as I can be about this batch and if I’m being honest,” He looks Bellamy dead in the eye. “This is your best chance.”

Bellamy holds his stare. “Then do it.”

The Old Man nods. “First, I’d like to know which prime this is.”

Josephine Lightbourne, nice to meet you. The words echo in his mind.

Cold, unfeeling blue eyes bore into his skull. He remembers what it was like to be paralyzed. To know Clarke was gone and the person hovering over him was a cruel stranger. A murderer in the worst sense. Bellamy may have killed, but he sees their faces in his dreams. He could tell by just the sound of her voice that Josephine wouldn’t know remorse if it stared her in the face every day, which it did.

The name is on the tip of his tongue when his eyes meet the Old Man’s once again. They’re hidden by deep bags and wrinkles, but they’re tired, brown eyes. Heavy with burden, not unlike his own. He knows those eyes. He’s seen them somewhere. Where did he…

“Gabriel.” He whispers, putting the pieces together. The Old Man looks affronted and takes a step back.

“You’re Gabriel!” Bellamy shouts, stepping forward forcefully. “You did this to her, you son of a bitch!”

Xavier shoots forward and grabs Bellamy’s arms, yanking him back and restraining him.

“This is your fault. You did this!” Bellamy screams.

For the first time, the Old Man’s voice wavers. “I didn’t mean to…” He looks down. “I never meant for this to happen.” His voice is thick with emotion. “I just wanted to bring Josephine back to live the life she never got to. She died so young… it wasn’t fair. I never thought they’d do this. Become this. Why do you think I’ve been fighting it for so long?”

“Trying to fix your mistakes doesn’t change the fact you made them,” Bellamy spits out. “I’ve lost people, you know. So many goddamn people. But I never tried to cheat death.”

“What about now?” Gabriel gestures over to Clarke’s body, still lying motionless on the table, her limbs lying in restraints.

“Clarke isn’t dead.” He grits out.

A sad smile paints Gabriel’s face. “For your sake, I hope not. Heartbreak and loss are the worst kinds of pain.”

Motion in Bellamy’s periphery grabs his attention. Clarke is stirring, moving against the restraints. Slight movement at first, then she’s yanking.

“Let me go!” She shouts. “Let me out of here!”

Not Clarke. Josephine.

Gabriel rushes over to grab to his med station and grabs a syringe, another one of the paralytics. He leans over her with the vial and she stops moving entirely.

Her eyes widen. “Gabriel?” She whispers, softer than he’s ever heard Josephine before.

Gabriel pauses, lowering his hand with the syringe.

“Gabriel, is that you?” She goes on, her gaze taking in his face. “What happened to your face?”

I got old, Bellamy’s memory of the video jolts back to him.

“Josephine?” Gabriel questions.

Josephine nods.

Bellamy eyes the vial, lowered in Gabriel’s hand, nowhere near where it needs to be. “What are you waiting for?” Bellamy asks pointedly. “Let’s get started.”

Josephine must notice the paralytic in his hand because she starts shaking her head. “No. No, you can’t do this to me. I’m only here because of you. You brought me back.”

Gabriel’s eyes well with tears, “I wanted you to live a life, Josie. Not seven.”

“Gabriel. Gabriel, listen to me. You don’t have to do this.” Her voice is soft and broken, but carries an undertone Bellamy can’t place. She’s more similar to Clarke than he’s ever seen or heard, but it’s still off. There’s something hidden in her vulnerability. Manipulation. “This. All of this, it’s because of you. Because of your genius. I don’t know if I’ll ever understand why you ran, but we can still fix this. Your mind drive is still in tact, we can get you a new host. We can do this. Together.”

She’s not Clarke. God, she’s not Clarke. But that last word snaps what’s left of Bellamy’s heart into pieces.

Together. A lever.

Together. A starry night and a leap of faith.

Together. A betrayal.

Together. A new planet.

It’s always together. It’s always the two of them. It’s always him, and it’s always her.

Gabriel’s voice brings Bellamy back to the present. “Goddamnit, Josie, you still don’t get it. We’re not gods, Josephine.”

“But we can be.” She argues, frustrated tears pricking her eyes.

Gabriel shakes his head. “I know God.” For the first time, Bellamy registers the cross hanging around his neck, a relic from the past. “And this isn’t Him.”

The syringe plunges into Josephine’s neck. Gabriel withdraws it quickly and she’s out, eyes fluttering for a moment before she’s still.

“I don’t believe in God,” Bellamy says. “But if you don’t bring Clarke back, you’d better hope He’s merciful.”

Gabriel says he needs space to work, but Bellamy won’t leave the room. Neither will Octavia or Diyoza. Xavier stays to keep an eye on them.

Gabriel grabs a fresh syringe of the shelf and fills it with a clear liquid, pouring carefully and measuring as he adds scoops of various powders.

“The refined antidote,” He clarifies, nearing Clarke and brushing her hair aside.

Bellamy doesn’t believe in God, but he still prays.

The needle goes into Clarke’s neck and Bellamy watches the syringe drain, painfully slow.

Clarke’s features don’t change; she’s still paralyzed.

“Did it work?” Octavia asks, impatient.

Gabriel shakes his head. “We won’t know till she wakes up. But first, I have to take out Josephine’s mind drive, which means surgery.”

“Where is her mind drive?” Diyoza asks.

He brings his own hand up and taps the back of his head. “Back of the neck.” He turns to Bellamy. “Can you help me flip her over?”

Once she’s face down, Gabriel starts the process, brushing Clarke’s hair away from her neck. Bellamy grimaces at the shoddy stitches and still bruised skin. He should’ve been there. He should’ve stopped it.

If Gabriel minds Bellamy’s proximity, he doesn’t say so throughout the procedure. Bellamy just stands there, holding Clarke’s limp hand, afraid to let go.

Bellamy can’t tell if it takes minutes or hours. All he knows is the feel of Clarke’s palm.

He keeps finding himself glancing at Octavia and catching her stare. Weirdly, instead of dropping his gaze, he holds it. He can’t help his heart finding comfort in it. For a moment, she’s not a murderer. She’s just his sister, and she’s there for him.

Gabriel carefully threads a needle and goes to work patching back up the bruised skin. His stitches look much better than the ones before. He sets down the needle and picks up the mind drive he removed.

He stares at it as Bellamy flips Clarke back over, adjusting her so she’ll be right side up when she wakes. The mind drive’s cool blue stares back at Gabriel, stares at everyone. Even Bellamy, who’s holding Clarke upright, can’t help but look at the mind drive. It looks so much like the Flame. Like the chip. But it’s a whole person… it’s Josephine.

“Never again,” Gabriel whispers, dropping the mind drive to the ground.

A thunderous crack reverberates throughout the lab as Gabriel stomps on the drive, reducing it to pieces. Pieces of Josephine fly everywhere, nothing but shattered computer parts now.

“Death to primes,” Xavier says, low and monotone.

Then, movement.

Clarke stirs in his arms and Bellamy feels his heart stop.

Then, the screams. Bloodcurdling and loud, she’s shrieking and shrieking. Octavia grabs her other side and holds her up.

Bellamy thinks this scream will haunt his nightmares.

“Clarke!” Bellamy cries, voice thick, “Clarke! It’s me. Come back to me, Clarke.”

The screams turn into panted breaths as Clarke pivots her head, eyeing Octavia, then Diyoza and Xavier, and finally, fixating on Bellamy.

Tears well in her eyes; her breathing slows. “Bellamy?”

“Oh my god, Clarke.” Bellamy sobs. He grips her shoulders and pulls her close. Octavia lets go and Clarke melts into his arms.

Her face is buried in his shoulder as she sobs into him. He cries, too. They’re both messes, in every sense of the word, with mussed up hair and tears streaming down their faces while they cling to each other like lifelines.

“I thought you were gone,” Bellamy manages to get out, though he speaks it into her hair.

“I couldn’t leave without you,” she admits, pulling him tighter. “I’m here, Bellamy.”

And she is. She’s here. Clarke.

Are you happy with Shiro settling down to get married and “leaving the battle” or whatever as his ending? Because I really thought he should’ve gone back to being a piloting instructor at the garrison and maybe staying on standby as atlas commander or something like that. He loved piloting too much to become completely disconnected from it and it feels like he never dealt with his trauma imo.

Short answer: No. 

Long Answer: Somehow, this transformed into, “Obligatory Post-Season 8 Meta: Shiro is still the Black Paladin. No, I’m not delusional. Really.”

The Black Paladin & PTSD Treatment

It’s important to know, especially for @dreamworksanimation​ and @voltron, that someone doesn’t “get over” PTSD, as Lauren Montgomery said in an interview.

I’m not trying to be harsh or “call someone out.” I’m stating fact. According to the Mayo Clinic, PTSD symptoms can be treated by opening up to others and seeking the help one needs. 

Getting timely help and support may prevent normal stress reactions from getting worse and developing into PTSD. This may mean turning to family and friends who will listen and offer comfort. It may mean seeking out a mental health professional for a brief course of therapy. Some people may also find it helpful to turn to their faith community.

This ties directly into Shiro’s story. In Seasons 1 & 2, Shiro hid the majority of his symptoms from the others. In Season 3 - 6, those symptoms were exacerbated by Haggar, and though Shiro reached out to Lance, he did not get the help he needed. Shiro then was attacked in battle by Haggar/The White Lion, and again, he suffered alone. 

In “All Good Things,” the Void scene revealed that Shiro wasn’t as close to the others as he could have been, and that ended up being the truth.

Like Allura never regained her confidence to lead, Shiro didn’t open up to the others and bridge that connection to strengthen it, which is one of the treatments for PTSD. 

Here some of the Mayo Clinic’s advice:

You don’t have to try to handle the burden of PTSD on your own.

[…]

Spend time with supportive and caring people — family, friends, faith leaders or others. You don’t have to talk about what happened if you don’t want to. Just sharing time with loved ones can offer healing and comfort.

Shiro handled his suffering alone, and he did not reach out to family and friends. We didn’t see him working out with the Atlas Crew. We didn’t see him hanging out with the paladins. He was all alone.  

This is also why “Knights of Light” is such a traumatic episode for Shiro fans and those struggling with mental illness. It completely dismissed all the suffering Shiro endured. The original paladins went insane in the Void. Shiro survived and came back stronger. 

Even then, he went through the struggles in the Void alone. The paladins went through it with each other. That two-parter episode originally - I have no doubt - was for Shiro to open up to the others, receive support for his past torture, and even receive help from Zarkon, the original Black Paladin. 

That’s why Shiro’s core fear - I’m too broken to be a paladin - focused on him returning from the Void, reconnecting with the paladins, and forming a stronger bond with the team. In this way, he would have begun to cope with his PTSD as the Black Paladin, proving he wasn’t too broken, and the story would have embraced the found family aspect, where Shiro and the paladins are truly “stronger together.” 

Instead - Shiro was alone. Even in Atlas. 

Even in Atlas/Voltron.  

The rest are all bonded to their lions. We know from “Genesis” that the White Lion isn’t in Atlas with Allura’s crystals, thus Shiro isn’t the White Paladin.  

Furthermore, the others don’t even speak to him in Voltron any longer. 

He asks, but no one answers him. (There was one time that Allura responded, but that is only once. The only other time someone actually answered Shiro, it was Coran, who is not in Voltron.)

Throughout the season, there are instances of this. Here, Shiro and Keith are on the bridge, and they don’t even look at each other. 

They don’t talk to each other. No matter how you see their relationship, they are important to each other. And yet…nothing. 

Another time, Shiro was sad to be left behind when the team went forward. You can’t tell me he’s happy here. 

But Shiro desperately doesn’t want to be alone or left behind. 

How do we know?

Shiro’s only win since Season 2 was an arm-wrestling competition, and he only won because he took strength from his one-time team. (Notice: Future hubby isn’t in the above shot.)

Shiro’s Marriage

Shiro is married, so he’s not alone, right? 

Well, yeah, but…Shiro’s story wasn’t for him to be married off to finally have a family, when Voltron was supposedly a story about found family. 

By Shiro’s happiness coming from marriage, Shiro was reduced to his sexuality. Shiro is queer and nothing else, but being queer is a part of someone’s entire person. If they would have shown Shiro “finding his happiness” on board the Atlas with no-name-dude with a tag like, “Shiro continued as the Atlas’ commander and found his happiness in space,” then fine. Do I still think it would have been random and forced, and all that? 

Yeah. It’s 2018, and it’s baby steps, and I can’t believe there hasn’t been a mlm kiss in all of American cartoons already. But putting my own shipping preferences aside - it is progress. 

However, Shiro’s core desire was to be a paladin, to help, to explore space. Say what you want about the paladin’s guardian spirits, but Shiro’s was the cosmos. Tell me again why Keith has a dog that can teleport and is called Cosmo? Oh, right. Cuz Shiro was supposed to be able to teleport.

Shiro enjoyed being paladin. He wanted to be a paladin, and if one wants to embrace his captaincy or admiralty or commanding office of the Atlas position - all right, but even then he was someone who wouldn’t leave behind the “good fight.” The good fight was where he wanted to be. 

What’s also disturbing to me about “Shiro’s happiness” is that - it’s the ending Adam wanted. If you follow my blog, you know I wasn’t a fan of the “Shadam” pairing, mainly because Shiro and Adam wanted different things. That’s mature. That’s a good representation of an adult relationship. Each wanted something different, so they broke up and moved on. I like that DreamWorks showed that, and I wish they wouldn’t have killed Adam. It would have allowed viewers to see how relationships can have a healthy conclusion. 

But for Shiro then to do what Adam wanted years later, leave behind “the good fight” and settle down, is a complete reversal of Shiro’s character. That also says Adam wasn’t enough for Shiro, but no-name-husband is. To be honest, if Adam hadn’t died, Adam could have filled that role, which is disturbing as well because Shiro is now “cured” of the degenerative disease, supposedly. (Technically, he’s not in the context of the story, but I’m ignoring that for now.) 

So if Adam would have waited for Shiro, okay. But for Adam to want Shiro once cured, is a terrible message to those suffering from degenerative diseases. (Full disclosure - I was a caretaker of a person with a degeneration disease for sixteen years.)

Therefore, Shiro’s ending comes down to three things:

Shiro was married off because the EPs wanted him out of the story since the get-go, and if there is a sequel, Shiro is out of the fight - both the Black Lion and Atlas. 

It was tacked on to fix the BYG trope in Season 7.

It reaffirms that Shiro is “old,” which the EPs just love to say, even though the dude is younger than me. 

Shiro’s Role as the Atlas’ commander/captain/four bars 

If one wants to say Shiro’s heads the entire coalition as a disabled man, which is empowering, I get it. That is a powerful position, though he hasn’t won a fight since Season 2. (The Alteans beat him up in “The Zenith,” and Zethrid’s Olkari tech is the reason the team wins in “Genesis.” In Season 7, the Atlas doesn’t beat the Altean mech, so Shiro in Atlas hasn’t won a fight by himself.)

But my argument is - Shiro’s core fear was not being worthy of being a paladin, and his position in Atlas proves his fear true. (Even though Altas and Voltron merged at the end, Shiro was still not a paladin - as I explained above.)

Also, it’s important to note Shiro was happy as the leader of Voltron and the paladin of the Black Lion. Plus, he was the garrison’s best pilot. (Keith was the garrison’s best up-and-coming pilot.) 

Why would you ever sideline your best pilot? He’s one of your strongest fighters. He’s one of your best skilled fighters, and you take him out of the fight and put him on the bridge? That’s a terrible battle strategy. It’s like having the most winning goaltender in NHL history and taking him out to put in a no-name second-stringer. 

What happens? The franchise collapses. 

Yes, take that both ways, as I intended. After all, it’s no coincidence that Shiro was the Hot Topic exclusive Funko Pop! figurine. 

Not only did the storyline sideline one of its stronger fighters, it continuously reminds fans of this and undeservedly praises itself for doing so. 

Shiro had the strongest bond with his lion, and since the lion swap, almost none of the paladins talk to their lions. I think Keith is the only one who actually directs a comment to his lion - the “you’re back” line, in Season 8 and “I know you’re hurting,” in Season 6. The clone asked Black to trust him, but all the rest of the paladins refer to their lions and haven’t actually spoken to them in seasons. 

Even the final moments of the paladins with their lions reinforce the original line-up, which does indicate that the lions and paladins haven’t spoken to each other because the lion-paladin bonds ceased to exist following the lion swap. In fact, I would go insofar as to say the lions themselves were not happy with the swap.  

After all, Pidge and Lance never do the eye-glow thing, and Allura only did it with Voltron, not Blue. Also, Allura only used her bayard once in Voltron, in conjunction with Hunk’s. Neither Lance nor Allura ever use their bayards alone in Voltron, and also - the Blazing Sword does not return to Voltron until Zarkon is in Voltron with Keith. 

So yes, according to “Knights of Life” - Keith is not the Black Paladin. Zarkon said Keith is a leader, not the Black Paladin, and Shiro, too, never told Keith in Season 2 to fly Black, just to lead. 

Keith, Shiro & Leadership

Disclaimer: I love Keith. He’s my second favorite character, but I love Keith, not Keith acting like Shiro.

I wasn’t going to go into Keith and Shiro’s leadership dynamics, but after seeing this - 

- I felt the need to touch upon it, as Shiro now reflects Keith in Season 2. 

Keith’s leadership is based on two things - his race, as deemed by Zarkon, and two years on the back of a whale leading no one. (This is a story’s fault, not the character’s.) Keith’s connection to the Black Lion is based upon his relationship with Shiro, first asking the Black Lion to fly to save Shiro, then taking up the mantle of leadership because Shiro asked him to, and then again, flying Black to save Shiro.

Shiro, on the other hand, had the strongest bond with his lion, died to save the universe, was saved by his lion, existed in an environment that drove the original paladins insane, and came back to take leadership of an entire coalition.

Yeah, he’s just going to give up? And he’s not going to be the one talking miracles and getting up and moving again?

One can say, “But Keith has developed into the leader Shiro is/was,” which… okay, but then one has to also acknowledge, “Shiro has regressed after all he’d been through”

If one is discussing endgames for characters, this is a terrible place for us to say good-bye to Shiro.

Also, despite Keith’s insistence - 

- it wasn’t. How do we know?

Allura died, saving the universe. In a universe where Voltron wins, it’s because the team is stronger together, and the team wins together. The paladins wouldn’t allow the universe’s survival to hinge upon only one of their shoulders. If Allura went to sacrifice herself, the other paladins would find a way to save her. They would talk her out of it. They would find another solution. 

The Season 8 Voltron line-up cannot save the universe, let alone each other. 

But with Shiro in Black, Allura in Atlas/the White Lion, Keith in Red, Lance in Blue, Pidge in Green, and Hunk in Yellow - we have a team that has saved the universe and a team that won’t let each other die. 

We’d have a true found family that together, would win.

And Shiro would have found his happiness, in Black and in his family.  

TL;DR: 

40 is the new 35 when it comes to NFL quarterbacks like Tom Brady and Drew Brees

Back in the day, it was less common for quarterbacks to excel past their mid 30’s. Sure, there was Warren Moon, Vinny Testaverde, Brett Favre, Kurt Warner, and John Elway. But that short list is dwarfed by a painfully longer one filled with Hall of Fame quarterbacks who seemed to crap out well short the 40 year marker.

Even these all time greats experienced precipitous drop offs in their mid to late 30’s. For Roger Staubach, Steve Young and Fran Tarkenton, it came at 37. For Bart Starr, Jim Kelly, Dan Marino and Dan Fouts, 36. For Johnny Unitas, George Blanda, Bob Griese, Joe Montana and Terry Bradshaw, 35. For Otto Graham, Joe Namath, and Troy Aikman, 34.

This makes it all the more amazing that so many older quarterbacks are still playing at an elite level in today’s NFL. There might very well be five to seven future Hall of Famers starting in the league right now. Tom Brady and Drew Brees are officially in their 40’s. Philip Rivers and Ben Roethlisberger are both 36. Aaron Rodgers is 34 and Matt Ryan is 33; and both signed extensions in the past couple years at times in their careers when former quarterbacks usually retired.

It’s true, quarterbacks are more protected by the rules of the NFL than ever before, and this certainly has played a part in their new found longevity. In 1978, the league restricted contact between defensive backs and receivers to within five yards of the line of scrimmage. This resulted in a dramatic increase in passing attempts per game, which in turn suddenly made the quarterback position more valuable.

Since 1993, quarterbacks could simply escape the pocket and throw a pass out of bounds without incurring an intentional grounding penalty. This made it harder for pass rushers to get to them before they got rid of the ball, therefore avoiding a sack or quarterback hit.

Roughing the passer penalties have become more and more common as the definition has broadened to include late hits, forcible hits below the knee, hitting the helmet, and landing on the quarterback with one’s own body weight.

Last year, former Packers linebacker Clay Matthews was flagged twice for roughing the passer while making what seemed to be perfectly executed sacks. Ironically, it was probably a hit on Packers quarterback Aaron Rodgers the previous season that may have led to the rule change that cost the Packers two victories a season later.

One would think that with these modern day quarterbacks dropping back more times throughout a game than ever before, their careers would be shorter, not longer. That’s why I think there’s more to it than the implementation of more rules that inherently protect the quarterback.

Because they played before GMO’s and modern day fast food chains, many old school players of the past had access to better food. But that doesn’t mean they took full advantage of their timely access to healthier lives. Joe Namath smoked cigarettes on the sidelines for god’s sake.

I doubt they were paying attention to the pH of their foods like Tom Brady or paying upwards of $200K a year like James Harrison did on therapy treatments like massage and acupuncture. The modern day athlete has to be almost obsessive in their quest for success. Talent alone won’t cut it anymore if you want to stick around in today’s NFL.

Extremely strict diets, fitness, and recovery programs have taken the place of binge eating like Babe Ruth, snorting cocaine like Diego Maradona, and binge drinking like Lawrence Taylor. The two oldest current quarterbacks in the NFL also happen to keep two of the strictest diet and fitness regimens across all sports.

Drew Brees has been working with Todd Durkin in San Diego, CA since his days with the Chargers. Brees loves working with Durkin every offseason. “Whenever I come back for the summertime to get in the best shape of my life for training camp, he’s always got something new or a few new things that make me feel like we’re way ahead of everybody else.”

What’s interesting to me, however, is that even though Brees isn’t Durkin’s biggest, fastest, or most agile athlete, he may have benefited the most simply because he’s willing to work harder than everyone else. And that’s saying a lot considering Durkin’s vast client list also includes Carson Palmer, Aaron Rodgers, Darren Sproles, LaDainian Tomlinson, Mark Sanchez, Alex Smith, Brandon Cooks, Reggie Bush, Charles Tillman, Zach Ertz, John Brown, Dontrelle Inman, Malcom Floyd, Ryan Griffin, Chase Daniel, Sean Canfield, Josh Freeman, and my fellow Saints Ignatius College Prep alumnus, Igor Olshansky.

”Drew Brees, first and foremost, is a special person. I will probably not have the opportunity to work with a guy like that in the next 20 years. His concentration and focus are amazing, and he works extremely hard. He’s not the biggest guy or the fastest guy, but he’s going to beat you with his athleticism, his smarts and because he’s such a competitor. I don’t care what it is, the dude wants to win at anything. He’s always restless and never satisfied,” said Durkin.

Brees is absolutely methodical in his training and game preparation. “I know where I’m going to be at a specific time,” he says. “I know what I’m going to be doing; I know what needs to be accomplished for me to feel confident and go out there and play at the highest level.”

His focus has shifted from the archaic meathead approach to training he learned in college at Purdue to a more functional and efficient approach. “I think maybe those [exercises] served the purpose at the time.” Drew says. “But now I’ve wised up to the things that I need to do in a position-specific and functional fitness kind of way to benefit me as a quarterback.”

If you have 30 minutes to kill, watch this video of Brees’ workouts with Durkin.

I’ve been a fitness trainer and instructor for 12 years and I’m telling you, Durkin is the real deal. I love his approach to fitness. I stopped lifting heavy weights years ago and have focused more on agility ladder work, TRX training, yoga, and generally maximizing my strength and endurance gains while also minimizing sheering forces on my joints, tendons, and ligaments.

Tom Brady takes his fitness protocol in an even more holistic, and dare I say, Eastern direction. He and his trainer/business partner Alex Guerrero founded the TB12 training facility next to Gillette Stadium in 2013. Guerrero, though highly controversial, isn’t a total quack in my opinion.

Of course claiming his supplements could curemultiple sclerosis, AIDS, concussions, and other diseases with no shred of testing or evidence based proof was incredibly disingenuous and downright dangerous. Settling with multiple investors out of court for defrauding them is no better either.

But I have to hand it to him: he has kept Tom Brady in phenomenal shape to survive and thrive in the NFL past the age of 40. Guerrero earned a Masters Degree in traditional Chinese medicine from a school in LA that closed after losing its’ accreditation. He is not a physical therapist and does not hold any Western degrees that would qualify him to do a lot of the work he does with his clients.

Yet, Guerrero is highly respected and retained by many professional athletes including Rob Gronkowski, Julian Edelman, Wes Welker, Danny Amendola, Willie McGinest, Jimmy Garoppolo, LaDainian Tomlinson, and Chris Hogan. Instead of focusing on lifting huge weights and tearing muscle fibers, Guerrero prescribes more body weight moves and exercises with resistance bands that are designed to increase the muscles’ “pliability.”

Brady often sees Guerrero twice daily and receives intensely specific massages in which he tenses the muscles while Guerrero massages them. The goal is to lengthen the muscles and increase their flexibility so that Brady can withstand the weekly car crash that is an NFL football game.

The other main focus is to reduce inflammation in the body by maintaining a strict diet. Brady does not eat white flour, white sugar, MSG, iodized salt, coffee, caffeine, alcohol, fungus, dairy, nightshade vegetables and most types of fruit. This diet may sound strange, but it’s most likely derived from the Ayurvedic tradition which is over 5,000 years old and trusted throughout Asia as much as we trust Western medicine.

The part where Brady and Guerrero lose me is by making sweeping statements like everyone should drink 25 glasses of water a day, or eat this exact diet, or that everyone needs to consume TB12 branded electrolytes or wear TB12 branded muscle recovery pajamas.

I’m not 6’4” and 230lbs; I’m 5’6” and 130lbs, so I don’t need more than 65 ounces of water a day, unless Tom wants me to get hyponatremia and die of brain damage. Don’t just replicate a professional athlete’s diet and fitness regimen. These have been specially tailored to them. If you work for Google and sit at a desk for eight hours a day, you probably shouldn’t eat and drink exactly what Tom Brady does.

It’s okay to be skeptical too. Brees isn’t much more trust-worthy with his shameful peddling of Advocare products. It’s important to rely on evidence-based research conducted by independent bodies without a financial stake in the products they test. Even more important, think for yourself and do your own research before listening to athletes that have a financial stake in the health philosophies they are sharing with the public.

If you aren’t hip to eating according to your Ayurvedic dosha (My dosha is roughly 70% Pitta, 20% Vata, 10% Kapha) like Brady seems to, you can go the Western route and still learn something about how to function at a higher level, no matter what your lifestyle is. Drew and Brittney Brees got food sensitivity blood tests done back in 2004. That’s when Brees found he had significant sensitivities to gluten, dairy, and certain nuts.

“As you can imagine, I was shocked because I was consuming most of these things every day. And just to think how long I’ve had these sensitivities and had continued to feed them. Guys coming in fresh out of college are used to going to the training table and eating and drinking whatever they’re given.”

“In many cases, I see myself as a veteran player – pulling those young guys aside and, as part of teaching young players how to be a pro, talking to them about their diet, their sleep habits and their recovery. They’ll start to ask questions like, ‘Hey Drew, what do you do?’ That’s when I explain to them that I use coconut milk and almond milk products.”

It’s not just Brees’ direct teammates like Reggie Bush, Sean Canfield, Chase Daniel, Brandin Cooks, and Ryan Griffin who have followed his lead when it comes to diet and fitness. “It took the fourth or fifth time hearing, ‘You need to do this,’ and then reading about Drew Brees and Tom Brady and others who are your peers doing it,” Kirk Cousins said. “I realized, ‘If I want to hang with these guys, then it’s time to stop playing around.’”

18 of the 32 quarterbacks starting in the NFL are over 30 years old, and by September that list will grow to 21 with the 30th birthdays of Cam Newton, Tyrod Taylor, and Andrew Luck. Even though five quarterbacks were drafted in the first round last year, there’s a good chance less than a third of the starting quarterbacks in the league will be younger than 30 years old.

40 might be the new 35, and it’s not just because of some changes in the rules. Players are spending highly on optimizing their health and performance through a multitude of practices both new and incredibly old. Cousins is right, it’s time to stop playing around.

14x07: Unhuman Business

Then:

LaLaLa, this is not happening, LaLaLa

Now:

Uh, something seems to be wrong with my TV. Just Lucifer Nick blabbering on about his family and his regret for killing people that won’t help him find who killed his family.

At the bunker, Jack is not doing great, guys. Cas is attempting to heal him, but whatever is wrong with Jack is beyond his angel powers.

As the boys discuss their impossible situation, Jack falls to the floor, coughing blood and foaming at the mouth. They rush him to the hospital ASAP. 

Worried Dad Dean is HIGH MAINTENANCE, but I’ll forgive his overbearing ways. Jack is in deep trouble. First, the hospital just needs some basic data, like name and date of birth, both of which the Winchesters fumble on. Jack’s a Winchester you doofs! And I guess Jack is 18. And his dad exploded. Jack then collapses and the medical staff rush him to a room, Sam, Dean, and Cas by his side. 

(That framing tho)

God, my TV buzzed out again. Please stand by while I figure out WHY WE SHOULD CARE ABOUT NICK. He talks to a reporter and learns there was a cop, Frank Kellogg, who was patrolling Nick’s neighborhood the night his family died.

At the hospital, Jack’s tests results all came back negative. They’re going to have to run more tests. (Lol, I love how all of this is put in the vaguest way possible. Like not all tests are positive or negative, and what are they testing for?) The one thing they do know: His body is in complete systemic shutdown. (I read on Twitter the friendly reminder that you’re not a real hunter until you’ve died and come back again. Coolcoolcoolcoolcool.)

The brothers decide it’s time to explore other options: Rowena. Dean suggests calling her. Sam already did. (Samwitch! --my Saileen heart hates me every time I goof about this) (Natasha: SAME) The doctor walks in on the boys dressing Jack to leave. AND LET ME JUST FALL INTO A PIT OF EMOTION watching Cas put his coat on Jack.

ROWENA arrives as fast as she can (like, oof, there isn’t anything in this for her. She just showed up to help the Winchesters? Guh.) She thinks Dean is in trouble, but Sam reveals it’s really Jack, Lucifer’s son. Rowena’s out. Before she bolts though, Jack works his magic nougat ways.

Rowena breaks the bad news that without Jack’s grace, his nephilim body can’t sustain itself. Cas offers up his own grace to save him. I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING! As Ro is nixing that idea, Dean’s vision starts to blur and his hearing warbles in and out. 

Not sure what was happening in this next Nick scene. He’s weird around a woman in an alley. She invites him back into the bar (WHY?) (Natasha: WHYYYYYYYY?) and then he secretly pulls a knife. In a brief moment of clarity, he yells at her to get away and she runs. And for the record: the giant neon S stands for Satan.

At the bunker, Overprotective Dean brings Jack a sandwich and milk. PURE. Jack is packing up and ready to hit the road, live a little before he dies. I’M NOT DYING, YOU’RE DYING.

Dean gets some serious dimples of discontent after listening to Jack but he’s not disagreeing with the boy.

Sam and Cas AND Rowena are on the research train. Cas presides over a mountain of books while Rowena and Sam call everyone they think might be able to help the poor young wee nephilim.

Dean gets the updates. The books are a bust, but Sam talked to Ketch, who has tipped them off about a shaman who might help. Dean takes all this in...maybe? In actuality, Dean wavers in and out of focus again. Oh, Dean Bean. Cas offers to tackle the shaman lead and the Winchesters can stay behind to look out for Jack. Enter Jack, with backpack, ready for adventure! Dean and Jack are heading out, to Castiel’s disapproval.

A little while later, Dean and Jack pick up some burgers and Dean tosses Baby’s keys to wee Jack. It’s driving lesson time! There’s so much wrapped up in this scene: Dean’s stunted childhood, his incredible capacity to nurture, Jack’s hero worship. MY HEART is wrapped up in this scene. They ease out on the road and Jack gains confidence quickly.

Dean turns on some tunes and BTO’s “Let it ride” sets the mood. Classic rock is such an important aspect of this show, and we didn’t realize how much we missed it as a set piece until this scene of open road driving.

(I’ll confess that I spent the first viewing of this scene ready for Jack to pass out and the car to careen dramatically off the road. I’m glad it didn’t.)

Cas heads out to find Sergei the shaman but before he goes, he talks with Sam about Dean’s reaction to Jack’s illness. “He seems to be taking this particularly hard,” Castiel observes. Sam tells him that Dean feels bad for the time he spent wishing Jack a swift and painful death at the beginning of last season.

Heartbreaking dialogue alert:

Sam: He’s lost people. We’ve all lost people but…

Cas: This feels different. Losing a son feels different.

But stow away those emotions, friends, because it’s time to go back to fun!Dad Dean. They’re eating more fast food, pulled over on the side of the road. “I’m a driver!” Jack announces gleefully. Yes, bby. Dean suggests a bar with promising hook-up potential. (Me: flashes back to Dean’s “Last night on Earth” speech with Cas back in season 4...and like, all of season 3.) Jack’s got other plans.

Nick finds Frank Kellogg, brings up the bare facts of his case, and then pushes Frank inside and holds him by the throat. Time to chat.

By a tumbling, small river, Jack gets into Dean’s deepest emotions like he’s ordering an ice cream shake at a diner. While they fish, Jack casually brings up that Dean and his father went fishing and that it was one of Dean’s happiest memories of him. Dean tries to dissemble, but Jack’s sure as a rock. (Now, there’s been some discussion about whether this was meant to refer to John or Bobby. My vote’s heavily on John. Dean loved his father, was disappointed by him, and longed for many things he could never have at the same time. Fishing with John Winchester was probably a shocking circle of calm - a pool of stillness and peace.)

Jack tells Dean that he wouldn’t miss the big, showy things in the world. Instead, he’d miss more time with Dean and the other people in his life.

Dean BARELY holds it together, a quaver in his voice as he returns, “Who’d’ve thought time with me would make you sentimental?” Dean. Bean.

Meanwhile, Cas drives his adorable blue car to meet Sergei the shaman. He’s immediately enveloped in a circle of holy fire. Thanks, buddy.

Sergei lives in a pimped out trailer, with flowers painted on the exterior and lushly colored and patterned textiles draped all over the interior. He proposes a “recharging agent” for Jack - something to shock his system and derail the degeneration. He offers Cas archangel grace (purportedly from Gabriel) and a spell to activate it. And the cost is simply that the Winchesters will owe him a favor. Sounds like a hell of a price to me.

Meanwhile Nick beats the shit out of Frank Kellogg. We learn that Nick’s neighbor saw Frank leave his house the night of the murders and the cops made him cover it up. Frank confesses that he met a man named Abraxis outside of Nick’s house and the next thing he knew, he was covered in blood. Frank was possessed by a demon which is some crazy ass shit, right? Sigh. Nick kills Frank horribly anyway, in a scene that goes on for WAY too long.

WAY the fuck too long.

In a giant breath of fresh air, we get back to the bunker, once again full of TFW 2.0 and Rowena Our Queen. They hand Jack the grace and it enters his body as Rowena chants the spell. Lights flicker. Jack’s eyes glow golden again. It’s worked!

Jack stumbles and falls again, worse than before.

Cas chews out Sergei via phone call and Sergei defends himself by saying that “science is sometimes trial and error.” It’s...awfully reminiscent of Michael’s experimentation, yes? It also reminds me of real world experimental parallels - now and throughout history. In a word: yikes.

Side note: Having once had a loved one’s body try to shut down in the ICU with no discernible cause...this episode really did hit home for me. It’s so easy in fiction to have a magical healing ability, and so much harder when there’s no explanation, no quick cure, and treatments that have your doctors crossing their fingers. I feel for all these dudes, and the doctors as well, is what I’m saying.

Anyway, Cas is pissed, and vows to smite Sergei’s ass if Jack dies.

For Vengeful Science

At Frank’s house, Nick prays to Lucifer and begs him to come back. In the blackness of the Empty, what looks like the Empty entity morphs into being and its eyes glow Lucifer-red. Well, fuck. (I’m actually excited to see the Empty again, but I am quite displeased about Lucifer.)

In the bunker, TFW mourns Jack’s rapidly failing condition. Rowena counsels them to stay by his side, for death approaches on swift wings.

Root Beer Quotes:

He’s sick, his name is Jack Kline, his father exploded.

Samuel, I thought we were beyond this.

Well, if it’s grace he needs, he can have mine.

Eyes on the road.

This is the best day ever!!!

Born with a wheel in your hand, huh?

Life isn’t all these big, amazing moments. It’s time together that matters.

Life - all of it - is a risk.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

Amalgus 10

Seasons:

Winter: Frigus

Spring: Saltus

Summer: Calor

Fall: Imber

Bluestreak insisted on being on deck when the ferry went in to dock. When Jazz gave no argument against this idea, Prowl differed to his judgment. His bitlet brother had come far over the course of the voyage. He still recharged more than before the infection, but not nearly so much as before. It would be considerably more work to keep up with him when he was at full health, Bluestreak was no different than other sparklings, he was curious, and energetic. There was no question that the elder brother was going to have to keep an optic on him, and even if the mechling never strayed, Prowl knew he would not be able to let him out of his sight. It fell on him to keep Bluestreak safe, he could not imagine what he would do if his brother was harmed while under his watch. It did not bare thinking of, the Enforcer would not allow it to happen.

He was not alone on his watch, and that was something of a comfort. Jazz kept close, and he kept watch, not just on Bluestreak but on Prowl as well. The rescue of his nephews was so very clearly of the utmost important to the Amalgus. If it came to choosing their safety over his, the choice was clear, and the Praxian would not fault him. As it was, he could guard his own back, though the attack, and his botnapping had shaken some of his confidence. Prowl had never thought of Barricade as a friend, but he had not thought of the mech as an enemy. Certainly he had never imagined that the mech would help arrange for his abduction and murder. Though he trusted Jazz, so much as he dared to, the Enforcer knew he had to be on his guard as they climbed the mountain range that loomed over the port.

There would be a road through it, surely there would be a road. Should Jazz mean for them to pass the whole distance on ped, it would be orns before they came close to the peek. But the Amalgus had specifically mentioned climbing, and he had purchased a harness to carry Bluestreak, at some point they would be leaving the common trail, and the Praxians would be alone with their... guide. If Jazz wanted to harm them, he would not have paid for their passage on the ferry, the medic’s fees, or all the gear and fuel. If Jazz wanted his frame, he had had all the privacy he could have wanted. No, Prowl had confidence that the Amalgus had been, at least mostly truthful regarding his motives towards him. The prospect of younglings being ripped from their procreators, mechanisms tortured or murdered and no attempt by Enforcers to find the mechlings, and the perpetrators and present them to the Justices for trial, it offended him greatly.

“Have ya ne’er seen mountains before, Bitlet Blue?” Jazz turned his helm and asked the mechlings, who was riding on his shoulders.

“Not like these!” Bluestreak replied. “They looked like they could touch the stars!”

“The Manganese mountains are the tallest on Cybertron,” the Amalgus explained. “The longest range too.”

“Are we going to climb all the way up?” The bitlet asked, audibly in awe.

“No,” Jazz replied. “But we’re gonna climb a bit. First though, we’re gonna drive to the Well’s gate. ‘Bout a three mega-cycles.”

“We’re gonna... going to drive for three mega-cycles?” Bluestreak exclaimed.

“Not straight through,” the saboteur chuckled. “There are places to stop, lil villages, ‘n proper towns. I ain’t gonna drive yer brother into the ground.”

“That is good to hear,” Prowl said. Both his brother and the Amalgus grinned at him. “The mountains are vast, Bluestreak, and filled with mechanimals. I want you to stay close to Jazz and I.”

“Okay,” the mechling promised.

“Good mechlin’,” Jazz said. “We’d best be linin’ up to disembark. Sooner we’re on the round, sooner we can stop.”

“Where do you intend to stop for the dark-cycle?” the elder Praxian asked.

“Glibax,” the Amalgus replied. “Lots o’ places to stay. Got a resort thing goin’, plus a lot o’ Convoys like to stop ‘n rest ‘n refuel before heading down the highway.”

Though Prowl be wary about what sort of road waited for them, he was rather relieved to find the highway up into the Manganese range was modern, and well maintained. They were hardly the only vehicles on the road, not the only cars either, though Convoys outnumbered their smaller brethren four to one. With though it was still imber(fall), frigus(winter) started earlier in the mountains, and the highway was not nearly so busy as it would be in the saltus(spring) or calor(summer). Jazz did not appear overly concerned by the changing season, and given the fact that these mountains were his home, Prowl thought it safe to trust him. It snowed in Praxus, but nothing like it could in the north. Bluestreak would be thrilled if it did while they were travelling through. Prowl would be less thrilled, but while his frame was forged for more moderate weather he could regulate his temperature enough to manage the cold and snow. One way or another, he was going to have to manage the cold.

The skies were clear as they drove up from the coast and valley, and up into the mountains. It was not a hard drive, not yet in any case, but it was not so effortless as driving along straight plains. Prowl followed Jazz, keeping pace with him, but also a safe distance in case of a disaster. Already a cautious driver, he felt to be that much more careful knowing he had Bluestreak strapped in his cab. Several times a joor for the first joors of the journey, he ran his sensors over the mechling, checking and triple checking that Bluestreak was either dozing, playing with a toy, or watching the scenery go by. Bluestreak was, of course, completely safe, and completely healthy, and as they drove that much longer, the worst of his paranoia subsided.

Up until Bluestreak had been released from the medicentre into his custody, Prowl had never had cause to transport the mechling anywhere, he had never had cause to transport any sparkling, and while he knew transport regulations, and how a sparkling was meant to be restrained for such a trip, knowing what to do, and actually doing it, actually being responsible for a sparkling was a different matter. Bringing Bluestreak home from the medicentre had been terrifying, but the trip had been short. This journey was nothing of the sort. He had worried that Bluestreak would get restless but the puzzle cube and lupinoid plush kept in entertained. They did not keep him quiet, of course. The mechling exclaimed over the sights, over the puzzle he had solved, and just chattered, but that was Bluestreak, and in this moment in time, Prowl found the chatter comforting. Eventually, his brother dropped off into recharge, cuddling that lupinoid plush, and the elder Praxian spent the joors of Bluestreak’s naps listening to the mechling’s ventilations.

The sun had mostly set by the time they arrived in Glibax. They had stopped only long enough to fuel during the mid-cycle and Prowl was certainly feeling the kilometres they had driven. Recharging would cure the worst of the strain, as would fuelling. It would take more that a mega-cycle’s drive to put wear and tear on his frame. Bluestreak was a bundle of energy when Prowl finally released him from his hold. Jazz laughed at the sight of the mechling running around the sparkling play area just off the hotel’s dining area. Prowl had allowed the Amalgus to choose where they stayed, and where they fuelled. The presence of this play area his brother was climbing through could just as easily have been a happy coincidence, but the Enforcer suspected that Jazz had planned for it. He was grateful for the consideration.

“Looks like he’s turned a corner,” the saboteur said. “Bet y’re relieved.”

“I am,” Prowl replied. “That cube your bought him kept him entertained for the drive. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it,” Jazz said. “Figured this trip’ll be easier if he ain’t stir crazy.”

“You are not wrong,” the Enforcer agreed. “I... I believe he is an active sparkling. He has always been energetic whenever I have come to visit. That could be blamed on excitement.”

“After the Well’s Gate, we’ll be on ped,” the Amalgus said, voice dropped low. Though there was no one immediately in their vicinity, discretion was wise. “Lot o’ spot it’ll be safe for’m to walk, probably good for’m. When he’s tired, or when it’s dicey, I got the harness.”

“Do you expect to come across many of your kinsmech?” Prowl asked. It was a reasonable concern. Jazz was clear regarding what he wanted, other Amalgii? Who knew?

“There’s some ‘round,” Jazz replied. “But we’re takin’ a different route to Doradus than most. We outta be on our own after the gate.”

There was a voice in Prowl’s processor that murmured there would be no one to save them if Jazz turned his sights on them. The Praxian dismissed this fear, and held on to the simplest of logic. Had the Amalgus wanted Prowl, he could have had him a dozen times over. Apart from the elements, and the mountains themselves, he and Bluestreak were in no danger. He wold keep his guard up, that was just basic good sense, but there was no need to feel hostage to fear. Jazz wanted his nephews home safe, and some justice for his brother, Prowl was the closest thing to an ally outside his community has he could expect to find in this instance, and one he sorely needed. They would be safe with him, Prowl was certain of it.

My Season 13 Opinion

I loved it! It’s in my top 5 seasons, along with 4,5 11 and 12. S12 is my favorite, having the least amount of episodes I skip on rewatch, the rest all share about 4 or 5 episodes not worth more of my time.  The Season in Review I remember the teaser before the season started said “Season 13 is their Lucky Number” And Im thinking OK lets do this! Lets see some positives for The Winchesters!! Lets see if we got them :)

Character Arcs Sam- Sam has definite changes from season to season. This one was no different. We had Sam last season being heavy on the confident badassery, while pining for a relationship with his mother, to Sam jumping automatically into a fatherly/mentor role for Jack. Meanwhile he’s troubled. suffering great loss, worrying about Dean, the fate of their mother, and his own struggles with his time in Hell and Lucifer.  I read a lot about you nay sayers, who think Jared has had enough, is ready to hang it up, but I have to say Jared nailed every facet of Sam’s life. His relationship with Jack, has been the single most precious storyline the show has come up with, IMO. The chemistry was there immediately, and Sam knew right away that Jack was worth saving. In the episode Patience, we see this relationship take root. Not long after, Dean warms up to Jack, and then Cas comes back and tries to slip into Father mode because he promised Kelly, and then Jack goes missing into the AU. and comes out with Lucifer bent on taking Jack from Sam ... but Sam kept it together.  Through all this, Sam deals with Dean’s depression, fails at trying to cheer him up, nearly loses Dean for good, because nothing Sam can do for Dean, gives him what he needs... which is a win.  In the 2nd half of the season, Sam falls into his own depression. He lost Jack, his mother, Lucifer is back around and causing trouble. We finally learn what keeps messing with Sam since Hell, and what causes his sleeplessness, fear and helplessness, and it’s Lucifers true face, which he discovers he shares with Rowena. (more on that in S14 I hope) we discover also, late in the season, that Sam would like to have revenge on Lucifer, but hes also seeing that revenge doesnt fix anything. Sam ends his season being brutally killed by vampires, resurrected by Lucifer who doesnt waste time with the taunts and threats, being regected again by his mother, who he should have told to go pound sand up her ass, but tookthe high road to come up with a solution. He could have spent the last 3 episodes fighting and arguing with Lucifer but he didnt. He swallowed it all and then forcefully left him behind in the AU. Here, is probably where Sam thought he got revenge. He looked happy and wonderfully content back atthe bunker. It was short lived because Luci was out in no time, with Michael in tow and now determined to take Jack.  Sam didnt go on a rampage to destroy Lucifer, but he called Jack to come back, and then stepped into protector role. What this got him, was Lucifer kicking him around, ad threatening his life once more... but when Jack tried to take his own life for Sam’s and told Sam he loves him. We know Sam won, that was best revenge he could have gotten. So when Dean came around, with Michael wearing him, Lucifer could get whats coming to him... in typical winchester fashion, Sam tosses the blade up to Dean that Dean catches no problem, and finally kills the devil!  Sam’s arc, as I saw it from beginning to end, was a lessen in patience. Dont rush, dont act on impulse too much, dont take everything personal. Stay focused and keep your head. As Axle Rose told us “Take it slow, it will work itself out fine, all we need is just a little patience” Dean: Our Dean started this season out in the deepest pit of dispair. This didnt start at the end of S12 but in the beginning when Mary walked out. This started Dean on a spiral downward, that gained momentum in spots. Once he killed Hitler, Dean didnt get anymore big kills, too much of the time he was the one being rescued. At the end of S12, he was nearly killed by Ketch, and Mom saved him. He got a win by curing mom of the brainwashing, but it was very short lived by her being lost in the AU. Dean suffered the biggest handful of loss he ever had. He lost mom, cas, crowley, and rowena, he fortunately still had Sam but he was preoccupied with Jack, who Dean saw as the main reason everyone was lost.  Dean lost hope in everything, and though Im of the belief that he wasnt trying to kill himself forever in Advanced Thanatology, as he had full intentions of coming back when Billie said “it depends on you” he wasnt in the mindset to argue with her if she wasnt going to let him go. But Billie told him to live, because he and Sam are important. (my theory on that later) so Dean comes back, and soon after, Cas comes back.  Dean is immediately upbeat because now he knows there is hope. It wasnt because he loves Cas more than Sam as some may assume, but Sam couldnt give Dean the win he needed to regain his hope.  Deans good mood went south once he learned Mom was still alive and being tortured in the AU. He was now a man on a mission and he was going to save her no matter what. But then they lost Jack too, and Sam went into his own depression and Dean was there for hm too. He wanted Sam to come out of the dark place he was in, but he knew that darkness was justified. But they both pressed on and kept at it... risking life and limb on the daily, Dean felt extra need to protect Sam so he side lined him in hopes to keep him safe. Sam wasnt gonna have that, they’re gonna live, work, suffer and die together, and thats all there is to it.  However when the vampire killed Sam before Deans eyes, and there was nothing he could do to save him, I have never seen Dean in a deeper pit. He was literally a walking corpse. I can only imagine Dean having less hope at that time, because they were in the AU, where the laws of their world dont apply. Maybe Winchesters dont have a reset button in a world they were never born in. Im fully convinced Dean was going back to the cave to lay down and die next to Sam, when Sam came walking in. Dean was so grateful to see his brother walking, that he didnt care Lucifer came too....” no need to be sorry Sammy... now hug me you little shit!” (paraphrased ;))  Things look up now, Sam comes up with a good plan for the survivors in the Au, and most are now safe and sound in the bunker. Jack is a good little hunter, Dean gets hope that maybe someday the world will be safe enough that they can retire. But thats short lived as well when Lucifer comes back and brings good ole Michael and all Hell breaks loose. When Sam gets blasted away with Jack and Lucifer, Dean’s self destructive co dependence comes out and theres just no other choice but to let Michael use his vessel to take out Lucifer. The fight ensues, Lucifer is too strong, and is about to kill Dean, but Sam comes through by tossing the blade to him perfectly.... and he kills the SOB.  Dean’s arc this season was a lessen in Faith. Faith in God, faith in Sam, faith in love and faith in whats right. It can get better Dean.... every day can get better.  Now we can go on to more fun things -

Best episodes IMO Im going to give that to Scooby for being the most fun and most original. But there were so many really good episodes, Patience, (Sams side of that) Advanced Thanatology, Breakdown, The Scorpion and the Frog, Varuius and Sundary Villians, A Most Holy Man,Funerella, Beat The Devil, Exodus and Let the Good times Roll.  Worst Episodes : By far was Wayward Sisters. The only one I couldnt bring myself to watch a 2nd time. Other’s werent bad, but boring, such as Tombstone, A Devils Bargain, and Good Intentions.  Best Sam Lines - “I know what its like to feel likeyou dont fit, to be afraid of who you are, and what you can do... but my family helped me through that, and now Im gonna help you, You’re not evil Jack”  “We are going to go to this place together.... and if anything happens, we’ll deal with it it together.... and if we die? We’ll dothat together too”  Best Dean lines : “Its a lizard Sam, it tastes like Lizard” “They took my brother, now Im gonna get him back”  “Im never gonna appologize for protecting you. Do you remember the last time we had front row seats to the Lucifer Michael fight? Because I do. You died Sam, and went to Hell! Now I dont care much about what happens to me, never did... but I do care about what happens to my brother” Saddest moments: When Sam couldnt bring himself to tell Dean about why he’s hopeless.  Dean’s dead mans walk to the camp and his tears when Mary asked where Sam was.  Jack crying and punching himself wondering why he hurts people. Happiest Moments: The brohug and the tension melting from Sam’s face Sam and Dean getting a toast in their honor. Jack telling Sam he loves him Sams face when he realizes Lucifer is dead Worst moments: Dean popping a cork when he found outbthere was no more grace.  Sam’s death... all of it Worst Storylines: Wayward Sisters, Asmodeus, Sister Jo (not Danneel hate, it just wasnt a good story)  Best Storyline: Sam and Jack  Interesting things we learned. Sam hates strip clubs, Dean buys Sam a lap dance, Sam has extensive hair care products, and Dean likes tentical porn Stuff I want to see more of next season: Michael!Dean but not for too long... we need real Dean.  Why does Sam have to kill Rowena? What did seeing Lucifer’s face entail? The Man Cave Daddy Sam!!!!!!! Lowkey predictions fro S14 We get a frantic Sam looking for Dean, not unlike S10 but he has help this time . The Angels die and all souls come to earth as ghosts and wreak havok. This along with Lucifer being dead, open the door for the boys to work towards retirement. Get heaven reopened, and the souls back in, maybe by draining the empty of angels, wth Luci dead, no need for Hell, close it up, everyone goes to Heaven. Start eliminating all the bad monsters from the world, sending good ones to Heaven and sending the bad ones to Purgatory where they came from. This wouldnt need to be a quick thing, it could take years to do it, or clean it up in one season, but it provides an end goal. The boys find out theyre important because theyre the only ones who can accomplish this.  In the end, Season 13 was their lucky one. Lucifer is dead. Now they can work towards a future. :)

8x09: Analysis

Good morning! How did everyone like the episode last night? Today I'm going to talk about broad plot points. Tomorrow I'll do a post about the details.

I thought it was a beautiful episode. A really good send off for Carl. I cried several times.

***Warning: Spoilers for 8x09 about in this episode. Don’t read until you’ve watched! You’ve been warned!***

Carl

5x09 Parallels. I've said several times I thought there would be parallels between this episode and 5x09, where Tyreese died. There weren't as many as I expected, but they were there. The biggest one was seeing Rick and Michonne dig Carl's grave at the beginning, even though we didn’t actually see him die until the end. 

Very similar to Ty’s death. We saw the grave being dug at the beginning of 5x09, but didn't understand whose grave it was until the end. In that case, we had no idea Ty would die (unless we read spoilers) until the end of the episode. The difference here was that we knew Carl would die when his bite was revealed in 8x08.

Carl told Judith that he didn't beat the world, as Lori said he would. I have to say I disagree. He was bitten. Of course he still beat the world in his own way. But he said to everyone, as he was dying, to recognition, especially, showed that almost outgrown the world. It was his own special kind of transcendence. In a way, that’s a parallel to Tyreese too, as Tyreese died thinking about forgiveness and peace.

Huge emphasis on the fact that he got to say goodbye. In the flashbacks, Michonne left him a note saying “I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye” for when she left with Rosita to see the Sanctuary. 

Of course, she DID get to say goodbye because she made it back in time. They talked about goodbyes several times throughout the episode. Remember that Beth hated goodbyes, and no one really got to say goodbye to her because her death was so sudden. Major anti-parallels there. Of course, it's all-important that he got to say goodbye and we saw his burial.

It's important that we saw the flashbacks at all. We have major precedence for this. When they don't show us something, they always flash back to it later. It. For example, in S4 we saw Ricky kick Carol out of the prison. In S5, they showed us flashbacks to what happened to her during that missing time. The same thing is true here. And it wasn't just Carl's point of view that we flashback to. We also saw flashbacks how the Saviors escaped the sanctuary. Before, Rick was imprisoned at the junkyard, and when he returned, he didn't know what happened. So it flashed back to Morgan's point of view as well, showing what happened what we missed.

This is important because it shows that everything we missed with Beth will have to be shown eventually. They ALWAYS eventually show us events that are skipped. There's a lot of unexplained things around Beth, the biggest ones being unexplained stuff that happened the Grady, and of course those missing 17 days after Coda.

I also thought it was interesting that he that they juxtaposed Carl’s words with Morgan's brutality. I’ll come back to this, but we could see Carl's goodness and transcendence and then they put it side-by-side with Morgan and his cold, rage-driven killing.

Carl talked about 3x16! Guys, this is huge! We some of the dialogue in the trailer, so I’ve already touched on this when it comes to callbacks to S4, but him talking about 3x16 is pretty much a confirmation everything I wrote in my Beth Greene was Always Gimpel's Sheriff post, and a lot of the stuff both me and @thegloriouscollectorlady have been talking about lately. Carl talked about shooting the Woodbury kid in 3x16. 

Not only was Beth present, which we would read into any way, but more importantly, it's what led to Rick becoming a farmer and the entire arc in 4a. I'll talk a lot more about this later this week, but we’re seeing major story arcs from S4 come full circle this season. It’s extremely significant and it makes me super happy.

Carl gives Judith the hat. I don’t think I need to tell everyone how significant that was. The sheriff will live on, specifically in the little one that Beth always took care of. I remember back when 5x10 first aired, I noted that Carl took care of Judith. He even used the sheriff's hat to protect her from the rain.

So Beth took care of Judith most of her life. When she disappeared Carl stepped in that role more fully, taking on Judah's care almost entirely while they were on the road. I feel like they tried to have Carl specifically step into that role, which Beth previous occupied. Now they put the sheriff's hat on Judith, who has only ever been worn by few other characters. (Rick, Carl, Beth)

Now Daryl has assumed the role. We knew he would bc of the trailer, but it’s significant that his attitude wasn’t one of sadness about taking Judith. It wasn't something he had to do, it was something he wanted to do. He was very firm and confident about it. He picked up Judith, sheriff's hat and all, and, wearing his vest, walked out with her. I thought it was really interesting the way the camera focused on his back. We can almost see this is a return to S4 Daryl. He's confident and strong, he's got his best back, and he's caring for the "new sheriff." So we don't know exactly where this will lead, but symbolically it's very significant. 

Remember those wings have always marked him as a guardian and protector, which is why, symbolically, he needed to regain the vest before he took over protecting Judith.

Finally, Carl actually died with the sunrise. 

So now we’ve gotten through the night, and we have a new day. There were several parallels to Andrea's death. Carl shot himself, rather than waiting to succumb to the fever. The other thing I noticed is that Rick and Michonne stood outside on the porch and heard the shot. That's almost exactly what happened with Andrea's death. Even though Michonne stayed with Andrea, will the viewers didn't see her shoot herself. We saw Daryl and the others outside the door and their devastated reactions to hearing the shot.

So what does this mean for TD? I hope it means that with this new day we’ll see Beth next episode. I also want to point out that Andrea's that happened in 3x16, which was mentioned here a lot. Almost like they’re trying to align this episode with 3x16. In the next episode, 4x01, we got the Bethyl hug. So I’m really, really hoping, that we’ll get at least the beginning of Beth’s return in the next episode.

Siddiq

Siddiq is a freaking doctor! That, we did not see coming. In the comic books, Siddiq is a fisherman and a construction worker, not a doctor. This is something they are doing for the show. We don't see any evidence that he knows how to cure bites, but he did talk about treating one, at least insofar as reducing the fever and making the patient more comfortable. He’s the first person we’ve ever heard talk about treating a bite at all. That’s a big deal. We need to watch this story line closely.

Honoring Carl. Siddiq talked about honoring Carl. He said because Carl saved him, he would honor Carl by doing whatever he could to help TF. We don't know exactly why yet, but from the trailer, he, Daryl and Rosita go on a mission that takes them through the swamp. So whatever Siddiq is up to, he thinks it will help TF in some. I repeat, I really think something about Siddiq will both bring Beth back into the picture, and perhaps help TF win the war. That's why Carl’s sacrifice will be worth it.

 The last time we heard a lot of talk about honoring someone was right after Beth's death. To honor Beth, Rick wanted to take Noah home to Virginia. And he did. @thegloriouscollectorlady pointed out that while there's definitely a parallel here, it's kind of an anti-parallel. In S5, TF honored Beth by taking a in stranger (Noah) and doing something for them, because it's what Beth wanted. In S8, the stranger (Siddiq) is going to honor Carl by helping TF. So it's the same thing, but in reverse. With that being the case, let's hope we see the reverse of Coda next. Like this represents 5x09 and perhaps were moving backward toward Coda and the opposite result.

Carol and Henry. I had a major epiphany during this episode. In THIS POST I said that in order for Carol's arc to resolve, she needed to figure out how to love and nurture another child as she did Sophia. Last night, I realized I’m missing one big element. Henry kill Gavin, which was disturbing. Go back and watch that scene. Watch the reaction of all the adults. Ezekiel was merely shocked. Carol was so horrified she turned away for a minute. Morgan looked like he might throw up.

While it’s understandable because he obviously holds Gavin responsible for Benjamin’s death, the way the show portrayed this was as something very dark. It came across as a callback to Lizzie, who also had no problem killing the living. It’s like they’re trying to say Henry is straying onto a dark path. Carol wouldn’t be able to help but think of Lizzie when this happened, which is why she was so angry at him, and Ezekiel couldn’t understand. So, it's not just a matter of her loving the child, but her saving him from becoming like Lizzie. She failed with Lizzie. She should've seen what was wrong and didn't, but perhaps she will with Henry.

I’ll talk about this more later in the week as well, but for now, it’s important that Carol, Ezekiel and Morgan were there. We’ve thought since S7 that Carol and Ezekiel will be parents to Henry, but it’s interesting that Morgan is entangled in this too. He and Carol both lost biological children, specifically because they failed to save them (a theme between Rick and Carl in this episode). Now these three adults all saw Henry kill a man. It doesn’t matter whether or not Gavin deserved it. The point is that Henry did it without hesitation and wasn’t as bothered by it as he should have been. That’s not good. So now these three need to figure out how to save Henry in the same way Rick saved Carl in 4a.

The two, final “shocking” scenes we hoped would be Beth. I'm pretty sure the one the blogger referred to is the one that showed Negan at Alexandria. That's what she meant about the future. It was part of Carl’s vision and shows that he wants Negan to actually become part of the community, integrate with Alexandria and have everyone work together.

 Sorry to keep saying this, but I will do a separate post on how significant this is, especially where S4 is concerned. I don't know that Negan will ever actually integrate into TF’s community the way Carl wants, but this will most definitely drive the plot forward for Rick.

The second scene is still very unexplained. Remember that in 8x01, we saw two flashes forward: Rick’s old man coda (which I now have to call Carl's) and then the one where Rick’s eyes are red-rimmed and the plate-glass crosses hang above him. We always figured that might be Carl's funeral. It's not. They buried Carl in this episode, and then showed that scene separately. It’s definitely not the same thing. 

Rick sits against a tree, bleeding from a wound on his ribs. He has blood all over his hand. Honestly, it looks like a scene where he could be dying. (I still don't think he actually will; I feel like they’re trying to make us believe that. I could be wrong, of course.)

I had a somewhat disturbing thought while re-watching last night. Perhaps Rick will try and make nice with Negan to fulfill Carl's best wishes, and Negan will betray him by either stabbing or shooting him in the ribs. Maybe that's what we’re seeing in this scene. That would explain why he says, "my mercy prevailed over my wrath." It sounds like he's very resigned to his own death. It's like he's saying, “well, at least I was merciful, as Carl wanted.” This is just me musing over what it might be. We really have no idea.

I've never thought that Rick would die, and still don't. But remember THIS POST about Dawn's back story and how it's going to relate to Beth's future arc. Dawn actually killed Capt. Hanson. I’ve always said Beth won’t do that, because she's a much better person than Dawn. But maybe it's not about Beth killing Rick. Maybe someone else will either kill him or try to. Whether he's dead or just severely incapacitated, someone else will have to step into leadership. Based on the back story and foreshadowing surrounding Beth at Grady, it will be her. Either way, it would be tied to Carl, Carl's death, and Carl's last wishes. But again, this is just conjecture.

Overall, I really loved this episode. I thought it was beautiful. All the symbolism in it, which I'll go over in more detail tomorrow, makes me as hopeful as ever for TD. What did everyone else think?

Episode Reviews - Star Trek: The Next Generation Season 2 (1 of 5)

With the first season of Star Trek TNG firmly and thankfully behind us, it’s now time to warp into the show’s second season, which although better overall still has a few horrid episodes.  Anyway, let’s warp to the first round of second season episodes without any further ado…

Episode 1: The Child

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

The new Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Katherine Pulaski, is brought aboard the Enterprise as it prepares to travel to Aucdet IX in order to take on dangerous virus samples, which will be carried to a Starfleet Medical station hoping they will be able to devise a cure for a plague epidemic in the Rachelis System. After taking aboard the new doctor, the ship is traveling at sub light speed when a ball of energy passes in through the hull, eventually settling in the womb of Counsellor Deanna Troi. Captain Jean-Luc Picard wonders why the new doctor hadn't checked in with him, and locates her in the Ten Forward lounge, where the bartender, Guinan, works. Picard finds Doctor Pulaski talking with Troi about her unexpected pregnancy. The senior officers meet to discuss the pregnancy. The foetus is developing at an accelerated rate and would be fully developed in 36 hours. Troi does not know who the father is, but was aware of a "presence" entering her body the night before. Though the senior staff debate terminating the pregnancy, Troi decides she will carry the child to term.

 The Enterprise arrives at Aucdet IX to pick up the plague samples, which are stored in a highly secure storage vessel. Troi gives birth to an apparently normal boy, whom she names Ian Andrew after her father. Ian continues to develop rapidly; within a day, he appears as a four-year-old child with corresponding mental faculties, and later develops to the physical and mental equivalent of eight years old. When asked if he is ready to explain who or what he is, Ian responds "not yet." Having completed the transfer of the virus samples, the Enterprise heads for the Starfleet Medical station. En route, the crew finds one of the plague strains is growing inexplicably; should it continue growing, it will rupture the storage vessel and result in the catastrophic exposure of all on board.

 They discover that an unknown source of Eichner radiation is causing the growth. Ian confides to Troi that he is the source of the crew's problems and will have to leave. Troi realizes Ian is dying and calls for medical assistance. Ian dies in Troi's arms, and returns to his energy form. The energy being contacts Troi's mind, and explains that he impregnated her in order to discover what it was like to be human. With Ian gone, the plague sample returns to normal and the crew continues on their mission.

 As a subplot through the episode, Wesley Crusher is trying to cope with leaving the Enterprise to join his mother on Earth after her promotion to director of Starfleet Medical. After receiving guidance from Guinan, he decides he wants to remain on the Enterprise.

Review:

Within this episode, there are a number of noticeable shifts among the Enterprise crew.  First off, Worf, Geordi and Wesley have all undergone wardrobe changes, with Wesley’s top now a more serious plain grey in place of the one featuring a few colours in stripes across his chest from season 1, while Worf and Geordi are sporting yellow uniforms, and Worf’s sash is now a heavier silver metal rather than the gold we saw him wearing in season 1.  All of this appears to be symbolic of these characters maturing a bit, with Worf now full chief of security and tactical officer, Geordi now the ship’s chief engineer (which makes way more sense than the rotating chief engineers of season 1), and Wesley is now not tied to his mother’s apron strings.

 Speaking of Wesley’s mother, this season also has Gates McFadden dropped from the main cast, and according to behind-the-scenes features on the TNG boxed set, it seems this is mainly attributed to a writer insisting the actress be let go because she complained about sexism in his writing.  This is apparently supported by the fact that in season 3, the same writer left and McFadden came back, which just goes to show how bad TNG was at embodying the values of Roddenberry’s creation in their real-life conduct at the time.  Though Beverly Crusher is basically replaced for the duration of this second season by Dr Kate Pulaski, played by Diane Muldaur, the actress declined a main cast credit in favour of a special guest star one, and apparently, she was meant to be a kind of female analogue of Dr Leonard McCoy from the original series of Star Trek.  Another recurring guest star making their first appearance in the show is Whoopi Goldberg as Guinnan, a bartender who runs the Enterprise’s bar space known as Ten-Forward.  The final change of note is that Riker is now sporting a beard, something he does for most of the rest of the Next Generation franchise.

 Sadly, all these changes, as good and interesting as most of them are, land in an episode that is very much as abysmal as the worst of season 1.  Here we get an episode where Troi is effectively ‘raped’ by an energy being so that being can be reborn in human form, and the being’s rate of growth is phenomenally accelerated.  If this sounds like a familiar plot to some, then I’m guessing you’ve either read my film review for Captain Marvel from my Facebook-posting days, or you’re enough of a Marvel Comics buff to have read the horrendous David Michelinie-written story arc that some fans would refer to as ‘the Marcus incident’, but which I and many others would know as ‘the rape of Carol Danvers’.

 In the story I’m describing, Carol Danvers develops a pregnancy that takes days to come to term, giving birth to a child who then grows at an accelerated rate, only to turn out to be the human form of an extra-dimensional being who plucked Carol from our space-time continuum in order to essentially rape her, all so he could be born in a form compatible with our dimension.  In this, the Trek episode at hand is almost identical, even with the rapist’s human form causing a major sci-fi techno-babble disruption that has to be ended by said rapist leaving; the only difference is that where Ian chooses to effectively kill his human form to save the Enterprise, Marcus took Carol back to his home dimension.

 The key similarity between the two stories is there’s no effort by the main characters to consider how the character whose has been subjected to a sci-fi-twisted version rape feels.  There is no attempt to consider their emotional well-being, no investigation to seek and punish the culprit, and when the culprit is known, again nothing is done to penalise them.  Frankly, this episode is just Trek at its worst, and there’s not even any follow-up in later episodes regarding the impact on Deanna.  Add in Polaski’s stupid and out-of-place prejudice against Data, not to mention Data being very, very stupid in his question bombardment of Deanna during her labour, and it’s easy to see why most people hate the living guts out of this episode.  That’s before you factor in the meeting where Picard, Riker, Data and Worf all discuss this like they should have any say in the matter.  None of them are the father, the pregnancy is not happening to them, and their supposition of any authority in the matter makes me want to shove them out the nearest airlock.  This episode only gets 1 out of 10 for a few good scenes not otherwise connected with the title plot.

Episode 2: Where Silence Has Lease

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

While on a charting mission, the Enterprise, discovers a zone of pure blackness in space; probes launched into the area simply disappear. As they study it further, the zone expands and soon envelops the Enterprise, leaving them in a black void with sensors reporting complete nothingness outside. Captain Picard orders the ship on a return course, but they find that they cannot escape; they leave a stationary beacon behind them, only to have it reappear ahead of them again.

 A Romulan Warbird suddenly decloaks in front of the ship and attacks, and Picard orders the crew to return fire; they destroy the Warbird, but Picard is suspicious of how easily this occurs. The crew then detect what appears to be their sister ship, the USS Yamato, approaching, but it does not respond to hails. Commander Riker and Lt. Worf beam over to search the ship, where they find it empty with various inconsistencies in its construction, including more seemingly impossible physical loops. The Enterprise then detects an exit from the darkness, but cannot lock onto the away team to retrieve them before the opening disappears. The Yamato begins to fade away, but the Enterprise is able to beam Riker and Worf back just in time. More openings appear in the blackness, each closing as soon as the Enterprise approaches them. Picard realizes that they are being manipulated, and orders a full stop.

 Suddenly, an entity with a distorted, almost childlike face as a result of it attempting to look humanoid, appears in the void, calling itself Nagilum. It announces its curiosity about humans and their "limited existence" and would like to test the limits of the human body. It causes Ensign Haskell to experience violent convulsions, and he then falls to the floor dead. Nagilum then states that it wants to know everything about death, asserting that it would take between a third and a half of the Enterprise's crew to complete its experiments. Picard decides to activate the ship's self-destruct sequence rather than to submit to Nagilum's whims.

 As the crew prepares for their end, Picard is tested again by Nagilum through peculiar behaviour displayed by doppelgangers of Counsellor Troi and Lt. Commander Data, both of whom question the self-destruct order. After these facsimiles are gone and the countdown nears zero, the void suddenly vanishes, leaving the Enterprise in normal space. Picard orders the ship to move away at high speed, and when he is finally satisfied that they are truly free, cancels the self-destruct sequence. As the Enterprise continues on its mission, Picard is met by the face of Nagilum on his ready-room computer. Nagilum offers its evaluation of humanity, criticizing the species’ faults and claiming they have nothing in common with its kind. Picard disagrees, pointing out that their recent encounter shows that both species are curious, a logical statement to which Nagilum concedes before disappearing.

Review:

This episode is far better than this season’s opening episode, but at the same time it’s a bit confusing.  While with some episodes it’s easy to grasp their intention or confirm what you suspect it to be by checking a wiki site, such as Wikipedia itself or a Trek-specific site like Memory Alpha.  However, this time I’m not sure what we have there is right. The episode’s director claims it’s based on the idea of perspective and how people from different groups don’t necessarily perceive each other in the same light, but I fail to see why that idea would be explored through the idea of an alien being subjecting the Enterprise crew through experimentation.  To me, that whole idea of the Enterprise and its crew being proverbial ‘lab rats’ made the whole thing more of an attempt to show audiences why lab tests on live animals can be cruel and wrong.

 The fact that the episode is so confused is ultimately what makes it a fairly forgettable one among the lifetime of the TNG series. The writers should have made up their minds what the episode was meant to deal with and then deal with that exclusively in a way that wouldn’t confuse any prospective audiences.  As an autistic person, I believe in what I call the three C’s; be clear, be concise, be consistent.  Apparently, whoever wrote this episode couldn’t be clear if their life depended on it, otherwise we’d have a clear idea just from watching it what its intent was.  For this reason, I give this episode only 5 out of 10.

Episode 3: Elementary, Dear Data

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

As the Enterprise waits to rendezvous with the USS Victory, Chief Engineer La Forge and Lt. Commander Data go to the Holodeck to recreate a Sherlock Holmes mystery. Data, playing Holmes, has memorized all of the Holmes stories, and recognizes and solves the mystery within minutes. Frustrated, Geordi leaves the holodeck, leaving Data confused. In Ten Forward, Geordi explains that the fun is in solving the unknown; Data does not understand. Overhearing their conversation, Chief Medical Officer Dr Pulaski asserts that Data is incapable of solving a mystery to which he does not already know the outcome. Data accepts Dr Pulaski's challenge and invites her to join them on the Holodeck. There, Geordi instructs the computer to create a unique Sherlock Holmes mystery with an adversary who is capable of defeating Data.

 In the new program, Dr Pulaski is kidnapped, and Data investigates. They soon discover that Professor Moriarty is responsible, but when they find him with Pulaski in his hideout, they are shocked when they learn that Moriarty is aware of the Holodeck program being a simulation, and is able to access the Holodeck computer, showing them a sketch he has drawn of the Enterprise, based on the computer's description. Data and Geordi leave the Holodeck to alert Captain Picard, and Geordi realizes that when he asked the computer to create the program, he had asked for an adversary who could defeat Data, not Sherlock Holmes. As a result, the computer gave the Holodeck character Professor Moriarty the intelligence, self-awareness and cunning needed to challenge Data, plus the ability to access the ship's computer. When Moriarty gains access to ship stabilizer controls, Data returns to the Holodeck with Captain Picard.

 Picard meets Moriarty, who demonstrates that he has evolved beyond his original programming and asks to continue to exist in the real world. Picard tells Moriarty that this would not be possible; instead, he saves the program and tells Moriarty that if they ever discover a way to convert Holodeck matter into a permanent form, they will bring him back. Picard discontinues the program and the USS Victory arrives, with La Forge preparing to present a model of the historic HMS Victory. Moriarty’s actions have damaged the model slightly, but Picard assures La Forge that she���ll soon be “ship-shape and Bristol fashion.”

Review:

Data impersonating Holmes briefly was a great bit in one of the season 1 episodes, and it’s brilliant seeing it fleshed out to be the subject of a full episode, which is made even better with guest actor Daniel Davis’ performance as Moriarty.  In fact, if Brent Spiner and Daniel Davis haven’t played Holmes and Moriarty somewhere at sometime outside of their Next Generation appearances, I have to wonder why on Earth not, because they’re too good in these roles not to have carried them on in another form of Holmes adaptation.

 Although the episode gets some praise around its focus on computers and artificial intelligence, these are just window-dressing for the real elements of the story.  Leaving aside the development of the friendship between Geordi and Data, and Polaski’s irksome Data-bashing, there are two key issues at play.  The first is the question of whether someone who learns by rote can be imaginative, whether they can show the invention and intuition necessary to solve something original.  Because Data has characteristics akin to autism, and because as a writer who is autistic, I have struggled to develop original concepts to write about, I don’t see Data’s struggles as a strictly AI question. Rather, it is a question that affects many humans and is just being explored through a character who happens to be an ‘artificial’ life-form.

 The second key issue is the power and importance of the words we choose.  In this episode, a single word makes a huge difference by giving a holodeck character sentience, something that in hindsight would pave the way for the Doctor on Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine’s Vic Fontaine and numerous other self-aware holographic characters within the overall Trek canon.  This is why the study of language is highly important, and why our freedom to express ourselves is a great power that demands the greatest responsibility in order to be wielded well.  We’ve seen only too well in recent times the damage that can be inflicted in real life through the misuse of words, and it’s a lesson we need to hammer home to people now more than ever.  Without doubt, this episode is some of the finest Trek going, and I give it the first top score in my reviews for episodes of this series; 10 out of 10.

Episode 4: The Outrageous Okana

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

As the Enterprise passes through the Coalition of Madena, it detects a small cargo ship, under manual control by its single occupant. The crew makes contact with the pilot, Captain Thadiun Okona, and offer to repair a part on his ship. Captain Picard orders that the Enterprise tow Okona's ship while Okona is brought on board. The crew soon finds that Okona has taken a keen interest in the women on the ship, beginning with Transporter Chief Robinson, and is in no rush to effect repairs.

 Continuing through the sector, the Enterprise is set upon by ships from two different planets, each of which locks its weapons upon the Enterprise, though both are vastly outclassed, and pose no actual threat. Debin, from the planet Atlec, accuses Okona of impregnating his daughter Yanar, while Kushell from the planet Straleb asserts that Okona has stolen a state treasure, the Jewel of Thesia. The two leaders clearly know each other, and both demand that their own claim on Okona take priority. Okona denies both accusations but offers nothing to defend himself with. Picard offers to arbitrate the dispute, and brings Debin, Yanar, Kushell and Benzan, Kushell's son, aboard the Enterprise. Okona sits and quietly listens to both Debin and Kushell's arguments but does not offer any evidence to defend himself from both allegations.

 After much more arguing amongst the two leaders, Okona then declares that he is the father of Yanar's child, and offers to marry her. Benzan then declares that the Jewel of Thesia hasn't been stolen: it is revealed that Okona has been acting as a go-between for Yanar and Benzan, who are in love with each other, and that Yanar is pregnant with Benzan's child. Benzan has offered to marry Yanar, intending to present the Jewel of Thesia, which he asserts is rightly his, as a courting gift. Okona was carrying the jewel between the two planets when he got engine trouble, and he only falsely claimed to be the father to force the two lovers to reveal the truth. Embarrassed and frustrated with how her relationship with Benzan has caused such a crisis and the quarrelling of their parents, especially her father's pressuring her to marry out of honour, an exasperated Yanar declares that she is not marrying Benzan or Okona. Okona has a heart-to-heart conversation with Yanar about how she cannot throw away her relationship simply because their parents cannot "behave themselves". Yanar takes heed to Okona's advice, she and Benzan profess their love to each other in front of Debin and Kushell, who finally realize how happy their children are with each other. Picard cannot get involved in the internal political disputes between the two planets and allows Okona to go on his way once his ship is repaired, and Debin and Kushell are left to argue (in a friendly manner) about wedding details.

 Meanwhile, Lt. Commander Data is motivated to explore the concept of humour after meeting Okona. Prompted by Guinan, Data uses the holodeck to generate a comedy club setting and stand-up comic as his adviser, but when he performs in front of the holographic audience, he is dismayed to find that they are predisposed to laugh at anything he says or does. Guinan cheers Data up by explaining that being able to laugh or make people laugh is not the ‘be-all and end-all’ of being human; Data agrees, but points out that ‘there is nothing more uniquely human’. As the Enterprise parts with Okona, Data is able to unintentionally make the crew laugh, but does not at first understand the joke himself.

Review:

Observant fans of DC Comics-based TV shows will note that this episode features an uncredited appearance by guest actress Teri Hatcher, who would later appear as Lois Lane in Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman during the 90’s, followed by a role as Daxamite Queen Rhea in the Supergirl TV show of the 2010’s.  However, her role in this late 80’s guest appearance is fairly minor, simply serving as the first among a number of ‘conquests’ made by the title guest character, the charming rogue that is Captain Okana (played by William O’Campbell).

 The title plot of the episode is a rare bit of fun for a Trek episode, though it lacks for much depth, and ends up verging on being a Romeo and Juliet in Space situation once we find out Okana has been playing go-between for this episode’s pair of star-faring lovers.  Luckily, Okana’s portrayal in the third act nicely fleshes the character out into the heroic outlaw definition of his characterisation as a rogue, and avoids the necessity of the traditional R&J suicide pact.  Frankly, I think it’s a wonder more Shakespeare adaptations don’t work in an Okana-like go-between and a Juliet-is-pregnant-by -Romeo plot to create a true romantic ending, as opposed to the original Shakespeare version that was just tragic in its entirety. Then again, what do you expect from someone how also wrote comedies that were actually romances and tragedies that were actually comedy?  If a great play-write like that can’t be accurate when categorising his plays, how can you expect him to really write well?

 The B-plot is a bit more of Trek’s stock-in-trade as Data tries to grasp the concept of humour, but Joe Piscopo makes for a lousy choice of holographic mentor, as his performances were so ridiculously silly, I just had to fast-forward them.  Likewise, as great as Whoopi Goldberg is as Guinnan, I don’t think she was necessarily coming at teaching Data from the right angle either. Leaving aside Data not being programmed with emotion, which is a key component in effective humour, the episode tried to throw our favourite android in right at the deep end, and therein lies the B-plot’s failure

 As I’ve noted before, Data is many ways not unlike an autistic person, and this includes some aspects of his misunderstandings around humour.  Now as a person with autism, there is very little that I have learned well by being thrust in at the deep end and having to adapt on my proverbial feet.  By my very nature, I’m someone who needs to take time to learn something new before putting it into practice, and I need to learn in a way that works best for me.  When I’ve been doing some research for my novel writing, for instance, reading books and making notes has been a key element of learning at least one key item being worked into the second novel in my trilogy.

 By the same token, Data doesn’t seek any non-interactive forms of information about humour or comedy first, which he perhaps should have done before seeking the advice of Guinnan or any holodeck comedians.  Unfortunately, the title plot crowds out the time he could have spent doing that, and so a great moment of character development just becomes so much cringe-worthy filler.  Overall score for this episode, 5 out of 10.

Episode 5: Loud as a Whisper

Plot (as adapted from Wikipedia):

The Enterprise is set to take aboard Riva, a renowned and successful negotiator, to help resolve a centuries-old war between two tribes on planet Solais V. Riva is deaf and mute due to a hereditary genetic deficiency, but travels with a "chorus", an entourage of three people in telepathic communication with him, who are able to enunciate his thoughts. Riva dismisses the Enterprise crew's briefing on the history of the conflict, explaining that the dispute has long since become personal, regardless of whatever tangible concerns that may have started it. When Riva, his chorus, and several Enterprise officers beam down for the meeting, a rebel member of one tribal delegate fires upon them, killing the chorus. The tribe's leader immediately brands him a traitor and executes him, begging for the talks to continue, but the away team has already begun emergency transport back to the Enterprise amid the chaos.

 Riva, frustrated and agitated, struggles to communicate with the crew, so Captain Picard orders Lt. Commander Data to find and learn Riva's sign language in order to act as a translator. Counsellor Troi offers to take Riva's place at the mediation, but Riva believes the Solaian tribes will only cooperate with him. Riva is prepared to abandon the peace process and return to his home planet, accepting his failure, but Troi inspires him to stay, suggesting that he turn his disadvantage into an advantage, recalling Riva's own negotiating tactic.

 Riva returns to the meeting spot on the planet, and to the crew's surprise, tells them that they should leave, and he will signal Starfleet when the negotiations are complete, as they may take several months. In order for the tribes to work with Riva, they will both be forced to learn sign language from Riva, which will create a shared experience between them. Thus, Riva is turning his disadvantage of being unable to communicate into an advantage. The crew leaves Riva to await the tribe representatives.

Review:

This episode is another great example of Star Trek doing a good job, for the most part.  According to the Wikipedia page for the episode, the show’s writers initially wanted the deaf character of Riva to gain the ability to speak after losing his interpreters, but the guest actor Howie Seago opposed this.  Seago was deaf himself, and felt that the concept would encourage a practice of forcing deaf children to speak aloud rather than through sign language, and the show amended the script accordingly.  Considering this show had fired a main cast actress for speaking up against sexism in the show’s writing, this kind of receptiveness from the show’s writing staff seems almost uncharacteristic.

 As a result, we get a great episode about accepting the differently abled for who they are, thought not perhaps a great as it could have been.  I find it strange, for instance, that if people with sensory deficits still exist in the future, sign language hasn’t been worked into the basic education of Federation cultures or into Starfleet. It is even stranger considering how Worf notes the usefulness of the non-vocal communication style while Data is learning it, because it only serves to highlight how useful learning sign is. Had more of the crew shown an ability to sign, maybe there might have been more of a push to work sign into national curriculums, especially considering that the children of most countries are more likely to encounter someone who is deaf than someone from another country.

 Even worse is Polaski having looked into prosthetics to give Riva the ability to hear and then offering something similar to Geordi.  It makes her the symbol of regularly abled arrogance, an arrogance that suggests everyone not fitting into the regularly abled average is somehow defective or lesser and somehow needs ‘fixing’.  That should have all been taken out because as Riva notes, we’re all special in our own way.  If someone is born deaf or blind and they can be their best self with that as part of their own normality, then that is fine, and it’s not them who need to change to fit the world.  The world needs to change to fit them, as it should for autistics, for the dyslexic, for the wheelchair-bound and everyone else outside of the narrow (and too often narrow-minded) scope of our societal default.  Except for Polaski, all the other main characters are at least trying to embody proper acceptance of people like Geordi and Riva, and we need much more of that kind of acceptance in real life.  Overall, I’d give this episode 8 out of 10.

Chapter 4

“Feathertail? Are you okay?”

The silver queen was sitting in a little abandoned burrow when her brother found him.  Her heart had come down from a rapid pound to the regular beating, but her mind was still in a state of panic. She was afraid; for herself, for Stormfur, and for the whole of RiverClan.

“No,” she confessed, her voice cracking nervously. “I’m not.”

Stormfur gently dug away some of the disturbed dirt around the abandoned warren, to make room for his robust shoulders. He poked his head in and looked down at his sister, curled into a pitiful ball. “Do you want me to come in?”

“Just sit by the entrance,” she requested. 

He quickly obliged, tucking his paws under him.“Did you have a flashback?”

“Yeah.”

There was a long silence after that, before Stormfur spoke again.“Is that why you… attacked Leopardstar?” he asked, a little nervous.

“Mhm.” Feathertail was losing the ability to think coherently. She was so afraid… “Did she hurt you?”

“No. She was angry, but she didn’t hurt me. After you ran Hawkfrost came up behind me and pinned me. His heart wasn’t in it though, I could tell.”

Feathertail looked up at him. “Do you think that encounter could be part of StarClan’s plan?”

“Maybe.” 

Stormfur’s expression turned sour. “If it is, StarClan is a rotten bunch.”

“Don’t say that,” she whispered. “Some nights, StarClan is all you have left.”

“As long as I have you I can live without their villainous plans.” He bore his teeth angrily. “Some days I wonder if following StarClan is worth the trouble anymore.”

Feathertail shook her head and took a deep breath. “You’ll always follow StarClan’s will. It’s in our blood - every Clan cat’s blood, that ever lived, since the first Clan cats. We all know that.”

Stormfur looked out at the world, and Feathertail couldn’t see.“Is it daylight out?”

“No, it’s actually past that. You slept a full day.”

“Did I have any nightmares?”

“Once. But you woke up. You fell back to sleep afterward.”

Feathertail was bothered by the fact that she couldn’t remember that. She never remembered those few minutes after waking up from one of her horrible nightmares. Those moments were always erased. Even when she asked Stormfur to recite the events later, it never jogged a single memory back into existence. It was horrifyingly frustrating… and nerve-wracking.“We can’t go home,” the queen finally announced. “We can’t go back to RiverClan.”

“I know we can’t. Where would we go?” Stormfur asked, his tail slowly curling at his side, barely visible in the darkness of the burrow. “We’re surely not welcome in the other Clans’ camps.”

“We can go to Fourtrees and sleep there,” Feathertail said. “I- I had a dream about Fourtrees, actually.”

“What was it about?”

“We were sleeping under the oaks,” Feathertail said quietly. “And I woke up with you pressed beside me. It looked like StarClan was having a Gathering. The founders of the Clans were at the Great Rock, and the cats below them… they were doing something strange. They were jumping, but in circles, like weasels, you know? Throwing their bodies around. And one cat, a blue tabby, was yowling up and down, like birds’ song. And then from behind the Great Stone, a fifth tree rose up.”

Stormfur was staring at her. “Maybe that was the dream Leopardstar and Mudfur were looking for,” he said, kneading his paws.

Feathertail sniffed. “I thought you didn’t believe,” she said, not unkindly. “Anyway, the cats yowled and yowled as a fifth leader came up to the Great Rock, and their patrol of cats joined the rest in their weird weaselling. Then a shadow suddenly came over the rise and washed over the whole scene, but it didn’t touch me. When the shadow went away everything was gone. Even the forest beyond Fourtrees. Even the stars were gone. The world was flat. Then I woke up.”Feathertail took a deep breath and licked her chops, dry from all that talking and mumbling and breathing between words.

Stormfur was enraptured to say the least. “We have to go to Fourtrees. Something has to be waiting there,” he said, slowly pulling himself out of the den. “Are you up for going now?”

“Yes,” Feathertail said with great conviction. “Anything to get out of RiverClan territory.”

Stormfur sighed sadly as the silver tabby pulled herself out of the burrow, glancing at it over her shoulder. “You do need a break. Maybe you’re overstressed. Maybe you need a change of scenery.”

Feathertail hoped that was the case; maybe if she answered the secret call of wanderlust, just for a little while, these nightmares would simmer down, her flashbacks would go away.. Maybe wandering was the cure-all of mental illness.

Then she laughed at herself.

She wished.

“Stormfur?” she asked, as they began their familiar trek to the Fourtrees clearing. “Do you think there’s a way to cure a cat of something that happens in their head?”

“What do you mean?” The grey tom looked at her with interest. “Like, ‘I banged my head on a rock and can’t remember rat’s dung,’ or ‘I see dead dogs’?”

Feathertail smiled lightly. “Either-or. Doesn’t matter.”

Stormfur looked at the sky for a little bit. His eyes glimmered as the stars reflected off them, and Feathertail admired it for a bit. He almost looked like a medicine cat, gazing at the sky with such intent curiosity. Only when their paws hit the sand of the path that lead to the Gatheringplace did he come out of his trance and speak.

“I think there is a way to cure it,” he mewed. “But it’s not anything close to our understanding. I think the Clans will have to go forward a lot more than they are now to get to the place where they can cure it.”

Feathertail tipped her head. “Why do you think that?”

“Because we have to focus on survival,” Stormfur explained, looking almost confident. “We- we don’t have the time to search it out, I guess. Medicine cats can afford to do trial-and-error because it’s their job. We feed them, groom them, and protect them when other Clans invade. But the day-to-day Warrior isn’t blessed with that kind of time.”

“So what is there to be done?” Feathertail asked, as she lead the way across the little bridge. She could see the four great oaks, now, and was reminded of her dream.

“Support,” Stormfur said simply, “Support and understanding. If we don’t support the cats in pain, we will lose some of the greatest cats we’ve known, and Clan structure fall apart. Is there not an elder who forgets what season it is, despite the snow chilling their pelt, or the sun burning their skin? Has there never been a cat witness to something terrible who has fought off the most frightening marauder?”

Feathertail nodded along with every word as they clambered up the ridge and came to Fourtrees officially. The silver-blue moonlight pierced the shadows in an almost unnatural way here. Every leaf on the oak trees’ limbs were glimmering, and even the blackest of shadows were pale in comparison to the deep ThunderClan territory darkness.

“It’s beautiful tonight,” Stormfur said softly. “It’s like they were calling for you, Feathertail.”

The queen lead her brother down into the pocket between the trees, looking up at the rock. It was so eerie to be here without the Clans. The clearing itself wasn’t very big at all: if she ran full pace she could make it across in about six bounds, coming from any given direction. The great rock itself was only about two cat-bounds high, and she could easily reach the top of it if she wanted to. But for some reason it felt… wrong. It felt incorrect to climb upon a place reserved for Leaders, the highest chosen of all Clan cats.

She thought about Leopardstar and bristled. How could she ever be considered a highly chosen one? She thought, her claws escaping into the dirt. And Brokenstar had nine lives. Tigerstar had nine too. They choose terrible leaders, don’t they? Or do they not choose leaders at all?

It was a bit much to think about the rules of StarClan’s ways. But her feeling of wrongness when she looked at the great rock was gone, so she hunched and leaped. Her claws grappled the sides of the rock as she landed about halfway up. Her back paws reached up in front of her forepaws, her claws digging into the boulder’s imperfections. Then she unhooked her foreclaws and forced herself upward, throwing her wide tail out for balance and reaching with her paws. She caught the very edge of the stone and managed to get a clawhold, pulling herself up with a few scrabbles of her hind legs. Now she stood upon the Great Rock itself; a privilege very few cats would ever get in their lives, comparatively. “How’s the view?” Stormfur asked, running out of the Great Rock’s shadow. “How is it, Featherstar?”

Nostalgia washed over her as she remembered their kit games; Featherstar and Stormheart, out against the world, indeed. She wished her noble brother could stand beside her as Leader and Deputy one day, not that anyone would choose a bunch of half-breeds…

She forced the thought away. “The view is glorious!” She called. “Beautiful! It’s as if I’m gazing into the eyes of perfection!”

A sound made her ears turn, and she dropped her posture instantly. It was just under the Great Rock; her heart beat fast in her chest as Stormfur approached to join her investigations. Together they peered down, into the brush below her.

“H’lo.”

Both cats scrambled back as a pale mottled shape came striding confidently out of the underbrush. Little white toes stretched out, revealing curved pink claws. Feathertail spotted a scar just under the shimmering multicolored fur, and she caught the cheeky amber eyes.“What are you doing here?” Stormfur asked fearfully, stumbling back a few paces. “You’re a ShadowClan cat.”

“Yes, how did you figure that out?” The tortoiseshell asked dryly.

“You smell like frogs, sop and desperation,” Feathertail spat in turn, earning herself an apalled and terrified look from her littermate.

“You smell like fish and inability,” The ShadowClanner grumbled. “What are your names?”

“I’m Feathertail,” the queen said simply. “And this is Stormfur, my littermate.”

The tortie was quiet for a long time, and she just stared between the two cats, head turning.

“What?” Stormfur asked finally.

“Do you remember a young cat named Tawnypaw? A ShadowClan cat that came into RiverClan just before the takeover - before Crookedstar’s death?”

Feathertail felt the muscles in her back and paws strain. She didn’t want to think about the cats that were there. Too many memories sprung from each face. One was dark grey with black stripes, an evil conniving glare, a tongue constantly swiping over his blunt muzzle. Another was white - the shadow in her dreams - it had a black face and vicious eyes, with claws that could cut a sycamore in half. The third… No. She wouldn’t think about him. Never.

Stormfur growled. “We don’t like to talk about the raid, not now and not ever. We’ve had enough of those times. We’re past them.”

“But do you remember Tawnypaw?” The tortoiseshell asked with increasing desperation. “At all?”

“And what if we do?” Feathertail asked, in a quivering voice.

“I’m Tawnypaw,” the tortoiseshell explained, “but Tawnypelt, now. I helped two young cats named Featherpaw and Stormpaw. I was being mislead and I spread the misinformation to those two. I told them that my father would make RiverClan better, before… he did all of that. I helped them escape. I tried to make things right.”

Feathertail’s eyes slowly grew wider. She remembered, now; the friendly tortoiseshell molly, who talked about her ‘daddy,’ and how he was going to make everything better… RiverClan will be better, even if Crookedstar says no!

How wrong that young cat had been.

Feathertail’s heart began to beat fast as she jumped down to see Tawnypelt, looking hard into her amber eyes. Almost instantly tension sprung between the two enemy-Clan cats; but neither moved. They stared silently into each others’ souls, the wind dancing between their chests.

Then Tawnypelt bowed her head. “I’m so sorry for what we did to you.”

Feathertail looked at her in shock. A ShadowClan cat, submitting and apologizing to anyone? Especially a RiverClan cat? It blew her mind, honestly. Her whiskers twitched and she sat down slowly. “I…” She didn’t know what to say. On one side she wanted to tell Tawnypelt that it wasn’t her fault - that she had nothing to do with the attack, she was just a child, they all were! But then she raised one paw and groaned, “I’m sorry. It’s very hard to look past all of it, and see the individuals.”

“That’s fine,” Tawnypelt said. “It- it takes time. We know.”

Stormfur flattened his ears a bit. “Why are you at Fourtrees? Shouldn’t you be at ShadowClan’s camp breeding more little monsters?”

Tawnypelt bore her teeth. “No,” she grunted. “I’m here for a prophecy. Or, I think there is.”

Feathertail raised her ears. “What about?”

“A fifth oak tree, I suppose… crazy as that sounds.”

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Rick and Morty Season 3 Episode 6

episode breakdown....and by breakdown I mean me....im breaking down...into sobs and endless sadness and bitter impatient tears....its me. im broken down Stage 1: we see a combination of enlightened rick (er) and toxic rick (tr) trying to get through the trauma of whatever it is they have just survived. Tr would most likely start rampaging, cursing, breaking shit, and trying to kill off anyone around him in a homicidal blur until he calmed down, however er is probably in there wondering why they even did the stupid thing in the first place. Its not their place to meddle. They are an all powerful super being with highly superior intelligence, so why do they feel this horror and trauma for such a worthless gain? Together they neutralize into a 'drink until the pain is gone mentality' henceforth leading to our rick's alcoholism and ideology of the just 'dont think about it' mindset this is the rick we know. The push everything aside, drink, and dont think Stage 2: Tr separates. If you notice, the very first thing he screams when he wakes up is "morty", because naturally it is the first thing on his mind. He frantically searches for him and then calls him a worthless piece of shit, continuously bringing up how stupid and useless he is. This comes from his severe fear of detachment from morty if he were ever to become overly confident and decide he doesnt need his grandpas cool adventures or life style anymore. If a morty gets too confident, he leaves his rick and becomes a sociopath. Normal rick can relatively keep the urge to bring morty's confidence down under control, but tr impulsively spews it out, so damn afriad that morty will wake up and realize he doesnt need him at any moment. He constantly has to cry out and tell him that they need each other, in his own toxic way. Calling him 'a piece of shit' is basically begging him 'dont leave me' he has to make him think he needs him. got it? lets move to the next step of stage 2 tr constantly says things like "im a god" "im above this" "everyone around me is garbage" "you think normal people can do this?" so obliviously this is his narcissism and entitlement, but digging deeper it is also his sense of inner insecurity. now, you may say 'WHAAAT RENATA HOW CAN DAT BEEE?" well lemme splain. basically rick knows how smart he is, he knows how powerful he is, and he knows all the stuff he could do with this power and intelligence....but that's the thing, he really doesnt know all the stuff he could be doing, because he doesnt do it. running around in the toxic can, you can see him panicking, frantically working and running to make stuff and do things. He knows how great he is, but he has no idea how to use it or what he should be doing with it. Think about it, when someone tells you "ayy, your the smartest being in the multiverse and could probably cure the world of every sickness"....wouldn't YOU be a little overwhelmed? He has so much to live up to (an impossible amount) that he hides behind the idea that he doesn't care about any of it. He cant use his power to save the universe, so instead he claims he doesnt care about it. but deep down he feels bad, because he feels like everyone expects him to do something, when in reality theres way too much to do so, to sum up, Toxic Rick is made up of multiple other different things than just narcissism and selfishness and rage...just like toxic morty, he is also his burning insecurity in the fact that hes just a normal man, who happens to be the only person who could ever hope to save the universe....and yet he has no idea how to do it Stage 3: meet enlightened rick. You're thinking, "oh, so THIS is the side of rick that actually COULD save the universe if he wanted because he IS confident enough in his abilities, right?" well the answer is no. this rick doesnt have a flipping clue either. how would he? there is no possible way to save every single multiverse, but unlike tr, instead of letting it consume him in misdirected guilt and insecurity, he instead has (healthily) let it go. Hence the name, he is now 'enlightened' from the worlds problems because he has thoroughly let go of his human need to be the hero and instead surpassed it all in the 'i need not meddle' mentality. BUT. you might ask, "well renaaaatttaaa then why isnt this rick super healthy? why isnt he perfect? why does he seem so interested in getting his other half back?" welll my little reader I have some thoughts. Thought 1) er has no humanity, attachment, purpose, selfworth, or cosmic opinion in himself, the human race, or the universe. why? because he has officially decided that its all pointless anyway and most importantly (big dividing factor here) he is OK WITH THAT. he has accepted the fact that he has surpassed human attachment because he has accessed infinite realities and multiverses to the point where nothing he thought had meaning does anymore. To become fully enlightened, he has let go all of his family, emotions, and self doubts because frankly, he just doesnt give a damn. But in a healthy way? Hes just let it all go, unlike tr who insists he 'doesnt give a fuck' when in fact, he does give millions and trillions of fucks and it eats him alive with each passing day. thoughts 2) so why does er work to get the phone to connect and work at getting his other half back? well he says it right there in the episode when he and confident morty are sitting in the parking lot at school. He says "im accountable to my toxins, right?" he wants to rejoin because he knows that tr has all his intelligence, all his power, and all his guilt wrapped up into a big toxic package. What does this mean? Hes FUCKING DANGEROUS. thats what it means. er is so enlightened, that he knows letting tr do his worst will mean the end of the world. now, for a little while in the episode, he tries to reason with himself and say that he shouldnt meddle in this either, because why is tr any better or worse than he is? but eventually he realizes the truth that tr left unchecked, is bad news for everyone and not worth lying idly back to watch the universe(s) burn. Because yeah...they would all burn Stage 4: now lets watch these two adorable little super humans interact. tr sums it up perfectly when he says "this is the part of your pussy grandpa that keeps it real".....yup. Thats pretty much the whole concept. If youve been paying attention, youve probably already figured out that er isnt exactly as healthy as he thinks he is. The truh of the matter is just sitting back with your thub up your ass like "oh theres no hope in solving ALL the probems, so let me just not interfere at all" is a pretty effed up way to think. Without tr, he probably wouldnt do anything but stay at home with his family and like, build toys electric toys for kids or something. He wouldnt DO anything extraordinary for fear of messing up the fragile stuff of the universe. Tr reminds him what a waste it would be to live a normal life and ignore their vast power. however, tr doesnt know how to use it either, so hence, the fighting breaks out. basically, they just have no idea how to use there god-like intelligence, and it gets ugly for both. even er says 'that stuff is a part of us and we need to put it back.' he knows that in sense he needs it, otherwise his power will be wasted buuuttt.......tr doesnt feel the same way. tr believes that without er, he could possibly become a real man. a real human. a real person who maybe actually cared about things and didnt feel so 'above' everything and so detatched. like a god among people who couldnt really connect with anyone. he doesnt want to go back to that lonely life of being the only one in his realm. this is why he keeps trying to destroy him while er just wants to recombine. Honestly, er is in the right here, (obviously) because he can see the big picture of how they need each other. Also, fun snidbit, tr is clearly the fighter of the two....clearly....and the sexy maker too apparently.....hehe....good to know good to know.....ahem.....anywaaayyyyy but.....looky here.... here I bring you.... Stage 5:tr doesnt give a shit. he doesnt give a fuck, he doesnt give a....oh,....Beth's here?..... he....leaves. immediately. so, here is where we see tr's true weakness, and what er truly hates about himself. He can't even bring himself to be around Beth or put her in any sort of harms way, so he leaves the very second she walks in the door. what does this mean? it is tr, er, and our rick's one true weakness. Truth is, he really cant be fully enlightened and reach his maximum potential, because of his human attachment to his family. Tr probably feels so guilty about leaving Beth (even though it was probably his idea because he was terrified of hurting her) that he cant even stand to look at her. he leaves immediately even though he was technically winning. plain as day, he admits his own true weakness, he just cares too much about his family to ever become truly godlike and reach his full enlightened potential. tr is human, er is the god. but er can see enough of himself to acknowledge that he needs his human self to be a fully functional human being. to truly be...rick. Stage 6 (almost done) and here it is....the moment er truly finally actually comes to terms with the fact that his 'version' of 'health' was actually just what he thought was his true potential. But alas, because the machine choses your version of health based on what YOU think is healthy, this is the issue he realizes. he didnt become healthy, he became his full potential, minus the pain and limits of human emotion. but the truth is, a full, enlightened, god-like potential is kinda useless without compassion and empathy...isnt it? I mean, if you have the power to save, but you just dont care....then whats the point? He realizes that essentially a god that does nothing is no god at all, and even if tr is a toxic, guilty, confused, miserable man too overwhelmed by his own potential to actually fufill it, he will accomplish more than er ever will just because of that energetic will to survive and just flipping DO SOMETHING. he literally realizes in this one moment that he would probably never accomplish anything like this, not without that crazy, overwhelming, miserably human passion that tr harbors in his soul for his shitty life and shitty decisions. and this is when he knows that they have to reunite, just for the sake of not wasting his life. Stage 7: (my personal favorite) ah yes.....the climax of the story. where it all becomes clear. something I havent touched on yet (which i bet you thought i forgot about....you lil scamp) is why tr is trying to make the whole world toxic. Why? simple. he has mistaken his toxic qualities for his humaness. (which in a way is true, but he also got a bunch of bad shit that er probably spends most of his energy keeping on the down low) and so in tr's mind, he isn't 'toxifying' the world, he releasing people's true emotions and true selves. he releasing the raw humanness inside them so they dont have to deal with their superegos always judging them and telling them how to live. he is the id, in a way, freeing all the other id's from their superegos so the world can be a genuine, purely human world. However, obviously, without superego the people are monsters, hence the carnage of the toxified people. to him, this is his way of saving the human world by bringing out their true human nature. unfortunately true human nature is primal and disgusting, but shh.....dont tell him that.....poor innocent bean....look how proud he is.... so proud..... ahem....anyway back to the climax. so now er shows up again and starts talking, lets analyyyyze. first off, er has learned something very important.....its tr's one weakness that he displayed when best walked in, hes afraid of losing/hurting his family. So of course, he targets toxic morty. and er knows this because he doesnt care about morty WHY WOULD HE? there are millions and trillions of mortys. it is beneath his highly superior brain to care, but tr sees the little picture, and in the moment, he needs morty to support him. He needs to latch onto him. he needs the human comfort. he doesnt want to admit that, but he needs it more than anything else in his life. in fact, he needs it so much, he doesnt even think er has the balls to do it, because he thinks he needs it too....but thats just it....he doesnt. and he knows he doesnt need that human connection, which is why he knows he needs his other half back to need it for him and here we have the moment that literally made tears come..... "irrational attachments"......that line just really hurt me bro.....it hurt me good.....it got me right in the soul....yikes. too real. *sniffle* anyway, back to er's rant. he basically sums it up by saying "you are literally incapable of seeing the bigger picture" hence tr's irrational love and dependency for his family, even though er and tr both know there are infinite sanchez families with infinite different fates that they have no way in saving or interfering in any way, tr still for some reason feels emotion towards a morty that really isnt even THE REAL morty. but think about this....its the most insecure morty, right? the one that is the most insecure, helpless morty of them all....its the one that needs him the most. the one that is least likely to ever leave him....*more sniffles* so of course he cares about him. I mean....we've seen what morty is like without him.... i think rick put it best when he called him 'a tiny american psycho'.....which I mean, he would be, right? hes related to rick afterall. with just enough jerry to keep him insecure. at least jerry was good for one thing. and soooo....thats the wayyyyy the news goes. At the very end we see a reunited rick. he even says 'master of both worlds'...meaning he is once again human and god. id and superego, making one highly functioning ego. the rick we know and love. a beautiful mess. so the meaning my friends.....you really shouldnt hate the bad pats of yourself, because at the end of the day, its kind of what makes you....human. wow....this got really freaking long, and I didnt even get into my whole theory about our morty being evil eyepatch morty. (remember in evil eyepatch morty episode where rick says "a confident morty is bad news, ill tell you when youre older".....well I think we know what that means now) yikes....and i thought rick was a handful when he was cocky. so there you have it. Our bread and butter, our saint and sinner, our sexy grandpa and teenage rocker.....our super genius space alcoholic. our rick sanchez. a beautiful chaotic mess.  wubba lubba dub dub bitches.

The Fall of the Watchtower || One

Summary: Dean and Sam struggle to obtain information from the Nephilim, leading to certain complications.

A/N: This is my interpretation on what will happen in the 13th season. Yes, I know that Misha is signed on as a series regular for next season, but I will most likely not be adding Castiel’s return into this. Also, I know I wrote Sam a bit out of character, but it’s only to get the point across that losing family has changed him. I hope that makes sense.

Words: 2.2k

Warnings: Season 12 finale spoilers, angst, language, torture, fist fighting, attempted murder, mentions of drowning, unbeta’d – all mistakes are mine

Sam stood frozen in his place in the center of the nursery, dark eyes locked on the figure crouched low in the corner before him. His feet seemed to be rooted to the wooden planks beneath him, keeping him from stepping forward to get a better look at the yellow-eyed Nephilim.

“You’re here to kill me, aren’t you?” The Nephilim queried in a plangent, jagged voice, his hardened gaze, which resembled that of an owl’s, boring into Sam.

“No, I’m not here to kill you. My name is Sam Winchester, and I’m not going to kill you,” he spoke up after a moment of hesitation, not quite certain he believed his own words. How was he to respond to a question like that? How could he be sure he wasn’t lying to himself and the Nephilim? Would it really be worth putting him to death after they’d gone to such lengths – even lost two of their own – to protect him? Would the world really be better off without this human-angel hybrid bending it to form a biblical paradise? Perhaps it would, but perhaps there was some good that could come from the trouble he’d caused since the knowledge of his very existence had been made public, like the eye of the hurricane. Sam wasn’t sure he wanted to keep this abomination alive, but what was he to do? Mercilessly put a bullet in the Nephilim’s brain without having gathered information from him first? All these questions ran rampant through Sam’s head.

“A Winchester, huh? Did Castiel die to protect you, again?”

This question took Sam by surprise, his pragmatic demeanor deteriorating rapidly. Exactly how much did the Nephilim know already? Was it possible that the son of Lucifer – prophesied to be the very downfall of humanity – knew things that Sam did not? Things that even Dean and Cas had been oblivious to? Sam tilted his head to one side, mirroring one of his fallen angel friend’s many trademark poses. “What do you know about us Winchesters?” He asked instead, dodging the young man’s inquiry.

“Enough,” came the vague reply. It was exactly the information Sam had expected to get out of him, less than nothing. However, Sam had time on his hands that he’d be more than happy to spend gathering every last drop of information from the man in front of him. He was willing to use every weapon – from the secret arsenal in Baby’s trunk – necessary to gather what he wanted. No, what he needed.

“Tell me, what do you know?” Sam asked, his teeth clenching together so hard that they squeaked. His eyes scanned the room’s walls, landing on a decoratively painted depiction of a rainbow, adorned with the name Jack. Of all the names in the world, Kelly had named the Devil’s child Jack?

“And what makes you think I’ll tell you anything?” Jack retorted snidely. In return, Sam simply gave him a glare that said it all.

“I have my ways,” Sam assured him, his words weighed down by a hidden threat. He pushed up his sleeves and crossed his arms, a dangerous smile playing on his lips. “And I don’t care how long it takes. One way or another, I’ll get you to crack.”

“Hmm, good luck with that, Sam. I’d love to see you try,” Jack said with a mocking smirk and a flash of those horrendous yellow eyes. The derision in his voice made something inside Sam snap, like a coil springing loose after being suddenly relieved of an immense pressure. He could feel his insides boiling with loathing for this pitiful excuse of a man – well, half a man – that lurked before him. However, there was no need to contain this anger – this desire to kill – when he was around Jack. Sam could do what he wanted, cure himself of the painfully bitter resentment festering within him. The younger Winchester wasn’t sure why he even felt this way, but that didn’t matter now.

One thing was for certain. By the time Sam had his way with Jack, the poor Nephilim would be begging for mercy, a second chance to redeem himself and help the Winchesters.

As the tall hunter approached the corner, Jack sprang to his feet, and Sam’s body connected with the hybrid’s bare form. However, it barely seemed to phase him as he lifted Jack, holding him up against the wall with one hand wrapped around the Nephilim’s pale throat.

“You will tell me, you bastard.”

Dean hadn’t once moved from his place beside his fallen angel friend’s limp form, glaring at the night black angel wings that had surfaced from invisibility as if that would bring him back. His knees were beginning to ache as they rested against the pebbles and packed soil beneath him, supporting his full weight. This was something he couldn’t fix, couldn’t undo. That fateful moment in which Lucifer had plunged an angel blade into his own brethren could not be done over; there was no escaping the truth, the result of their last moment with Cas while he was alive.

It didn't take long for the sorrow within Dean to be reduced to a simple dull ache. Sure, every little thing seemed to set Dean off, but who could blame him? All the emotions he'd locked up for a while had finally resurfaced and were now crowding his head.

What hurt worse than Cas being dead was how he didn’t get to say goodbye to the angel. Instead, it had been a rather pitiful affair. As Dean replayed the events over in his mind, one thing became apparent. He and Sam were back to square one, the dreaded but equally expected result of their predicament. Well, that wasn’t quite true. At least they still had Lucifer’s son in their possession. Dean trusted his brother to beat some answers out of the Nephilim.

“Can you open the seam?” Sam demanded, his long, slim fingers curling around the handle of his knife, which rested familiarly in his large, calloused hand. When Jack didn’t respond, Sam backhanded him, feeling no remorse whatsoever for his actions. “Answer me!”

“I-I don’t know!” Jack shouted, his cheek flushed and stinging where the hunter had slapped him countless times already. It was clear that Sam was enjoying himself all the while, and he was just getting started. He had yet to use a weapon, but Jack knew that part would come soon enough. If only Jack could answer, but something deep within him told him two things. The first was plain as day; don’t let the Winchesters go alive. The second was getting harder for him to abide by with each time Sam’s firm hand collided with his cheek; don’t tell the brothers anything, even at the cost of him being tortured, even at the cost of his own life.

“Jesus, you don’t break easily, do you?” Sam remarked with a subtle chuckle.

It took a moment for Jack to think of a clever comeback to spit back, but he couldn’t think of one, instead going with an unsatisfactory silence.

“I don’t care how long you rot in that chair,” Sam warned. “Trust me, you are going to give me answers, then I’ll decide what to do with you.”

At that, the young man struggled against the restraints holding his wrists to the arms of the chair in which he was sat, eyes blazing in anger. “I’m not telling you anything, you pretentious dick.”

There was an air of new-found confidence in those words as Jack spewed them, somewhat to the amusement of Sam. He seemed to think he’d get away from all of this if he resisted, but the hunter had other plans. Nothing about what he was going to do seemed evil or something to be ashamed of.

“No, maybe not now, but soon you will be,” he smirked maniacally as he drew forward and plunged his blade swiftly into Jack’s left shoulder, eliciting a shriek from his victim’s chapped lips.

“Stop, please, stop this!” Jack pleaded, the pain he was in pooling in his eyes the way his blood was pooling into the shirt Sam had given him. The pleading was genuine, driven by the Nephilim’s suffering.

“No,” Sam repeated bluntly, eyes dark, a vicious smile playing on his lips. “In fact, you’re coming with me.”

Jack struggled in his seat again, inching away as far as he could when Sam began to untie the restraints at his wrists. His heart was beating a mile a minute. What did Sam have in store for him? Did he plan to bring Dean into the situation?

The sound of the small cabin’s back door slamming shut jerked Dean out of his thoughts. He whipped around in time to see Sam throw Kelly’s pale, spindly son to the dirt.

“Dean, he knows about us… And Cas,” Sam announced, letting out an exasperated huff of breath as he stepped away from the man writhing on the ground.

“What all does he know? Does he know about Lucifer? Mary? Crowley?”

“I don’t know. The bastard still wouldn’t speak up even after I threatened to beat the shit out of him.”

Both brothers stood in a gloomy but comfortable silence before either of them spoke up.

“So, do you trust him at all?” Dean prompted, apple green eyes narrowed as he studied Jack from a distance, his weary gaze traveling over the Nephilim’s figure. He was something else; thin and very easily breakable by the looks of him.

“No, Dean,” Sam defended. “As a matter of fact, I figured he’d be a valuable piece to have on our side of the board.”

At this, Dean snorted. “So, Cas is dead, Mom’s gone, and you want to play a game of chess? Sounds fun, but, if you haven’t already noticed, we don’t have all our pieces together, Sammy.”

The brothers’ conversation came to a halt as Jack cautiously approached Castiel’s limp form. He was slow in his actions, as if afraid to break the fallen angel. There he was; before him was the angel he had chosen, and who had chosen him as well. Without a second thought, he placed a shaking hand to Cas’s forehead and squeezed his eyes shut, channeling all his focus and energy towards the man – no, angel – that was supposed to be there for him, supposed to protect him.

“Hey!” Dean shouted angrily. “Get your damn hands away from him.”

Jack froze instantly, like an animal of prey caught in the headlights of a hunter’s truck. Dean stormed away from Sam, bracing himself to fight the Nephilim. His balled fist collided harshly with Jack’s jaw when he was close enough, and the younger man fell heavily to the ground once again, groaning in utter pain.

“Dean,” Sam warned. He knew what would come next. He’d seen it happen several times himself. When his older brother was angry, he certainly got angry, and there was nothing that could be done to fix his desire to beat the shit out of someone without actually doing so.

The anger boiling deep within Dean was unleashed in an explosive manner, resulting in his knuckles colliding many, many more times with Jack’s fragile body before the young man even bothered to fight back. Jack threw a punch up and managed to deck Dean’s cheekbone. The two men tumbled about, locked together and focused solely on one another. They continued to land hard blows on each other for a while. However, Sam didn’t bother to stop the fighting; he knew how much Dean needed a way to blow off his steam without taking it out on his younger brother. It was a need for Dean, much like that of needing to eat, drink, sleep.

Only when they grew close to the edge of the water did Sam attempt to intervene, but to no avail. Jack got the upper hand and pushed Dean down to the ground, holding him down and squeezing his throat. As the minutes ticked by, Jack’s grip loosened, and he resorted to a different tactic. He shoved Dean over the water’s edge and jumped in after him, making sure the entire time to hold Dean’s head below the surface.

The air in Dean’s lungs was depleting rapidly. His heart was beating more quickly than a jackhammer. His lungs were screaming for air. The blood running through his veins was as cold as ice, like the water all around him.

By now, he couldn’t tell which way was up. He was flailing too much, and it was hard to make sense of anything as he struggled to focus on steadying his heart rate. A sudden sharp intake of the ice-cold water had him choking, but there was nothing he could do…

Nothing…

Nothing at all…

He tumbled down to the bottom of the lake, passing foreboding depths.

He couldn’t breathe.

His mind flashed with images of the one he was holding on so weakly for.

Sammy...

Tags: @sprinkleofhappinessuniverse