#I have a lot of lil' amanda feels
Note
If you wanna write Planymphia being useless lesbians I'd be into it 👀
the way I wanted to jump right in and write the smut scenario we talked about today <3 but I won’t at least for the first prompt to this lil au <3
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“Fucking dammit,” Jane huffed, stomping her foot petulantly as if acting like a child would unjam the copier.
“Do you need some help?” A voice came from behind her, one she didn’t recognize.
She rolled her eyes and turned to face the voice’s owner, ready to fire off a snotty remark, but the woman standing there momentarily took her breath away. She was absolutely gorgeous dressed professionally in a bright yellow pantsuit, it was nice to see someone else dressed nicely for once, the rest of her coworkers usually opting to look sloppy in jeans or leggings, besides Dawn who looked like she should work at the preschool down the street in her colorful attire she donned every day.
“I-um-it’s jammed,” she stammered, her accent coming out thick like it always did when she was nervous, a reminder of her Russian upbringing despite leaving the country as a young girl.
The woman smiled, opening up one of the drawers and yanking out a crumpled piece of paper. “That should do it,” she said brightly, a smile on her pretty lips, “I’m Nymphia by the way, I’m new.”
She extended her hand for Jane to shake, which she did, though awkwardly, or so she felt it was. “I’m Jane.”
Nymphia smiled. “Plain Jane,” she giggled, making Jane’s cheeks flush even though usually when anyone made that joke anger simmered under her skin, “it’s nice to meet you. Maybe I’ll see you at happy hour tonight? Everyone’s been so welcoming and I got invited to happy hour already!”
Jane inwardly cringed, annoyance at this beautiful and bubbly woman curling in her stomach. It took Jane at least 6 months of working there to be invited to the coveted happy hour, though people always did tell her she came across rough at times.
“Yeah, I’ll see you there,” she said, pressing her lips together before storming past Nymphia back to her desk.
“Were you a bitch to Amanda again? Did HR finally crack down?” Dawn, nosy as ever, asked after Jane had audibly huffed.
“No,” she rolled her eyes, “the copier was jammed.”
“Was? Why is that a problem if it’s fixed now?”
“Get back to your own work, Dawn,” she snapped only half intentionally.
Dawn only laughed. “Love you too, Janey.”
The rest of the day dragged on, a vision in yellow distracting Jane from her work.
Later that evening, Jane found herself three shots deep and feeling nothing but a buzz, screw her Russian lineage. Though, her new coworker seemed to drink and drink, getting more and more giggly as the night progressed. Everyone took to her like a moth to light. She was effervescent, charismatic and Jane hated that her eyes and attention stayed on her the entire evening. No way Jane could handle a crush like this, crushes led to dating and dating led to other things she didn’t have time for. Or dating led to a broken heart, and no way was she going to do that again. Besides, Nymphia could never like someone like her. Nymphia was everyone’s sunshine and while Jane was confident and loved herself, she simply knew that that just isn’t who she is. Jane was a lot of things, but being someone like Nymphia’s “other half” wasn’t it.
By the time the night ended, Jane found herself alone with Nymphia, the rest of her coworkers calling it a night but Nymphia never seemed to tire, her eyes sparkled as she spoke of her home and her family and friends back in Taiwan. Though, Jane finally had someone else to relate to coming from a different country, she didn’t share the same feelings about her home and her family. That didn’t stop her from listening intently as Nymphia spoke.
“You know, you’re really pretty,” Nymphia said at one point, drunkenly leaning against Jane on the wobbly barstool, making Jane rest her hands on Nymphia’s waist to steady her.
“Thanks, I get that a lot,” she replied dryly, only obviously a joke to her.
“I bet you do,” Nymphia said with a giggle and then sighed, “I suppose I should get home. I’ll see you around Plain Jane.”
Nymphia got up and stumbled a bit, Jane steadying her again. “Are you sure you’re okay? I could walk you home,” Jane offered reluctantly, Nymphia had already mentioned how close to the bar she lived.
“You would? That would be really nice,” Nymphia said with a sweet smile.
They walked in mostly silence, besides Nymphia’s drunk giggles she let out every now and again. She lived only a block away so they got there quickly, Jane couldn’t tell if she was relieved or disappointed.
“Thanks for walking me home, Plain Jane,” she said, winking and blowing a kiss before going inside and leaving Jane to her thoughts, which she pushed away until she was home and in bed, staring at the ceiling and unable to stop replaying every interaction she’d had with Nymphia that day.
She’d known her less than a day and Jane already knew she’d become a huge problem for her.
#ik plain is not how she spells it in her name BUT for the sake of this plain makes more sense than plane okay#prompt request#planymphia office au
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i also have a lot of love for that deleted scene where adam runs into amanda in the stairwell i feel like it added a lil something to both of their characters
plus the way amanda stares at him throughout most of it is kinda funny
adam: "very rockstar!"
amanda (who has the intention of breaking into his apartment to kindnap him and chain him to a pipe in a grimy bathroom): : |
adam: "sorry... your hair. its very rockstar. i like it"
amanda: : |
adam: "..."
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Hahshlflkds okay so,,, Been meaning to make this for a while lmfao. Its just my personal views on what I think the rest of the Killers' opinions are about the Legion. This is more so about them as a group and not separate. Gonna briefly explain why I think these as well! Lot of these are HCs that I've been thinking about for a while, especially with the first two tiers ! Pls enjoy my overthinking hahahlfdslkj ✨
Parental Figures:
Huntress- Adopted Julie and Susie immediately, they are her daughters and she would kill for them! Doesn't care much for Frank and Joey, but they make Julie and Susie happy, so she lets them hang around. Susie is her favorite, since she loves listening to Anna's lullaby and hearing her stories about the Red Forest.
Pig- As Huntress's Wife™, she'd naturally be an unfortunate parent to these dumbasses. While Huntress will try to get them out of trouble, Amanda finds it funny to help them get into trouble. Joey is her favorite, since he finds her reverse bear traps super cool and they have some pretty chill conversations together.
Doctor- He finds them HILARIOUS and loves seeing the shit that they pull on other people, and also enjoys teaching them super fun and freaky medical facts (that often give Susie nightmares). Also gives them lessons on the best places to go stabby stab and whatnot. Frank is his favorite, since he loves listening to Herman's stupid facts n lessons and finds his Shock Therapy p neat.
Slinger- As Doctor's Husband™, he also has the misfortune of being their parental figure. He's a lot more quiet around them, more so tolerating them when they're in a group. When he's one on one with them, though, he enjoys telling them stories about him and the Hellshire Gang. Julie is his favorite, since they just get along pretty well and he sees a lot of promise in her, he even taught her how to use his gun once.
Shit Ass Uncles:
Ghostie- Listen, Danny is just a really stupid influence on these stupid teenagers, its just a recipe for disaster, but he does care for them! He enjoys teasing them a lot, especially Frank and Julie, and bugging them whenever he can. He's a bit of an asshole, let's be honest. He also helps them and Pig (since they're besties) out with pranking the other Killers.
Trapper- They are the ugliest kids he's ever had the misfortune of laying his eyes on, but he has a slight soft spot for them. They enjoy bugging him, messing with his traps n whatnot, and though sometimes he has to stop himself from absolutely decking one of them, he tolerates them and finds them hilarious sometimes.
Wine Aunts:
Skull Merchant- They love to fuck around with Adriana's drones, which drives her absolutely NUTS sometimes, but they don't do anything to hurt them so she just leaves them be. Isn't afraid to sneak up on them and scare them if she's ever fed up with them, though.
Nurse- Sally has to help em and fix em up a lot, since they often injure themselves, both during and in-between trials. They're v accident prone, so she's just learned to have supplies at the ready to help them out. If she's ever too annoyed by them, though, she'll just blink away and hide from them until they've asked someone else for help or she gives in.
Official Younger Sibling™:
Onryo- Huntress also adopted Sadako as soon as she possibly could, so she's kinda just become their honorary younger sibling lmao. Sometimes Julie and Susie will have lil girl nights with her, and do her hair and just goof around.
Family Dog:
Demogorgan- Demodog, what else is there to say?
Enjoys Their Company:
I feel like both Wraith and Hag would kinda just sit around and vibe with the Legion every so often. Wraith prefers if they're just one on one, since sometimes they can become overwhelming, while Hag prefers the whole group of em.
Likes Them Until They Bug Em:
Plague, Billy, Spirit, and Charlotte don't mind them all that much, but if The Legion do ANYTHING that annoys em whatsoever, they will be out of there in a jiffy and ignore them.
Tolerates Them:
Artist, Knight, Oni, Bubba, and Wesker all just tolerate them. They don't necessarily hate them at all, they just don't particularly like them. They'll deal with the Legion's stupid shenanigans until they've gone to far, then they'll either threaten them with their lives or hurry away to be anywhere else. Most of the time, though, they'll just ignore them or briefly acknowledge their existence before moving on.
Neutral:
Victor, Pinhead, Pyramid Head, and Michael all just quite literally don't care about them whatsoever and rarely pay any mind to them. Victor will be around them because of Charlotte, ofc, he just doesn't really care. The other three quite literally couldn't be bothered, and will only interact with them if they're ever trying to bug em.
Hates Them:
I'm sorry, but I feel like both Trickster and Blight would HATE them so much lmaoo. They find the four of em extremely annoying, whether in a group or just on their own, and would rather take a bullet to the head than deal with them. They'll often threaten the Legion to leave them alone, and get pissy if they're even in their very presence.
Would Kill Them:
I feel like Freddy, Clown, Nemi, and Dredge are all p self explanatory as to why they're here tbh. Freddy is dumb and just gives off those murderous vibes in this scenario, Clown is an absolute MENACE and will kill literally whoever, especially if he finds them annoying like the Legion, Nemi is just a bioweapon that will destroy anything in his way of killing S.T.A.R.S (I think it'd be pretty funny if they managed to like, tame him or whatever in a way lmaoo), and Dredge is Dredge :3c
#dead by daylight#dbd#dbd the legion#dbd killer#dbd headcanons#dbd huntress#dbd pig#dbd doctor#dbd deathslinger#dbd ghostface#dbd trapper#the legion dbd
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Okay, a late entry for the January posting meme...
January 21 - what's one of your favorite fandom related memories? lyntergalactic
I have so many favorite memories, it’s very hard to pick one….. but it is Festivids Eve so I’m gonna talk about my excitement about this vid exchange. Cause it’s my favorite moment right now because I feel like I’m staying up late with milk and cookies waiting for Santa to arrive. I have so many great memories and VID RECS in this long post.
Festivids started in 2009 as a vid exchange for rare fandoms. Which was great because I think a lot of vidders really needed this so we could celebrate and get exposed to a whole bunch of new small and rare fandoms, unheard of media and literary sources that hadn't been really been vidded before.
Each year there’s a guest-the-vidder post, and @bingeling has been great about organizing live watches on discord. Sometimes I miss a few vids here and there during the initial weekend of go-live because it’s SO MANY VIDS, but then I always catch people’s recs or vid posts in the following weeks.
It’s just a joy to keep finding new things that I never realized I wanted and needed in my life because there’s so many interesting media and books out there to make vids for and people’s imaginations and technical skills continue to blow my mind.
Way back in 2009 when I signed up for the very first exchange I got assigned to Sol-se and matched up on the source/fandom that I had introduced her to: Little Mosque on the Prairie. We literally spent weeks months and years talking about Little Mosque on the Prairie, being a fandom of two. AO3 was in its early days yet so there wasn’t even any fic, okay.
So when I got matched up, made the vid, the guest the vidder post happened and everyone guessed it was me. Everyone likes to claim that they made all the vids so I said that I indeed did make it, of course I did. Yet I was still able to cast doubt in Sol-se’s mind about whether or not I had made it because?? Who knew, maybe there was someone else who happened to get into the show and make an awesome vid for it. It was very fun hypothesizing with her in DMs about who could have made the vid if it wasn’t in fact me. It all comes back to love.
The first vid I made for Festivids in 2009: All For Swinging You Around.
Little Mosque on the Prairie. Ensemble. LOVE. Y’all I had bought Little Mosque DVDs through the CBC website back in the day and was still learning how to rip things. Aspect ratios. Scan lines. It was a TIME I do not miss. Though I do still have the DVDs and probably could rip them better now.
My other favorite memories from festivids is (aside from all of the vids) are the vids made for ME over the years!
2009
When You’re Strange by colls, a Sanctuary vid featuring music by Echo and the Bunnyman. A++ song choice and Amanda Tapping’s face will always inspire me. Sanctuary did so much with so little and this is such a great vid for a fantastic lil’ genre Canadian show.
2012
Meant to Fly by e-transitions. This is a Modern Family vid focusing on Manny, Gloria and Jay who were my favorite of the extended family on that show. Manny in particular is my favorite! This is Nicki Minaj’s Starships and it’s super sweet and endearing look at family coming together and reaching new heights together. And shenanigans. All of my favorites things.
2013
Fame by chaila (also on tumblr here). This is a vid for the show Transparent and focuses on Maura. Do you know what it’s like to get a gift from someene whose fanworks you have loved and admired for years?? I was so blown away by the cover chaila found for this vid. Mree’s vocals are so evocative and still has this powerful determination in the vocals. It’s really, incredibly moving. I was so lucky to receive a gift like this.
2015
Simple Machine by sol-se. This is for a 2014 webseries called Caper which I can’t even remember how I found. I think I was on an Amy Berg kick and was trying to watch everything she’s written for. The vid focuses on Penny who is an inventor who created a super suit and of course a white dude came along and tried to take credit for all of her inventions and hero’ing, so that’s what this vid follows. The show was incredibly dorky and sweet. Superhero fanfic, low-budget staffed with people who were able to call in a lot of favors for cameos along the way. The show also has Beth Riesfgraf and Harry Shrum, too! Along with a few others.
And of course Solvi delighted in being able to make me a vid for ANOTHER SHOW where we were a fandom of two. :D the vid is great and I have a strong affinity for Guster’s music because I listened to so many of sdwolfpup’s vids with that music when I first started vidding.
2019
I GOT SIX VIDS in 2019. I pretty much cried when go-live happened because??? How??? I guess I just had really appealing requests that year. So let me tell you about them.
Little Lion Leo by turquoisetumult. This is for the AMC version of Humans which is a parallel present/scifi show based on the Swedish version of the show Äkta människor. I had actually vidded Leo for the Swedish version but I really really adored Colin Morgan’s portrayal of Leo Elster. Mumford and Sons is such a mainstay in vidding circles and for good reason: the musicality is so gripping and the vocals area always so intense and lovely. That means it’s perfect for Leo and his angst and pain. THE BLOOD! The feelings. Trying to survive with his synth family in a world that wants to end them.
I just rewatched the vid and I immediately want to rewatch the show now, omg. Gemma Chan was extraordinary in the show and the show had a fantastic approach to discussing the the ethics and actual legal standing of artificial humans that I hadn’t other shows touch upon that well.
Raising Hell by bingeling which is a vid for the movie Ready or Not which was one of my favorite movies from 2019. Samara Weaving and that wedding dress getting progressively more fucked up throughout the film as she fucks up the that shitty family?? Kill the bad rich people, those fuckers.Beautiful. Cathartic. This is on top of the well-known fact that I fucking love Kesha’s music (I’ve vidded Kesha 9 times since 2010). Bingeling’s editing here is punchy as hell and this SONG!!!!!!! It makes me crack the fuck up, especially with the lyrics at 1:49. It’s perfect. My heart. My heart. Kesha! Everyone is trying to murder her and she murders them instead. Badass woman with a wedding dress, bandolier and sneakers.
Pity Party by winterevanesce. This is also for Ready or Not. Phenomenal song choice. I have no idea who the artist is and never heard of her before but that doesn’t matter. This song was made for this vid. The editing on this vid is orgasmic. I literally am slack-jawed each time I watch this vid. I cannot emphasize that enough. I love it when people know exactly what I want and need in my vidding soul.
The Middle by turquoisetumult. This is a Fleabag vid! Featuring Fleabag and Fleabag/Priest. It’s a poignant cover of the song, too! It’s so sweet and makes me ache so much for Fleabag because heyooo, shit is hard, esp when you tend to fuck things up along the way. I love how this vid makes want her to do better and have better things in her life. That hope! So good.
When We Fall Asleep, Where Do We Go? By starlady. Star Trek Discovery, Mirror Philippa and Michael. This is to Billie Eilish’s song “Bury a Friend” which I had never heard before but it is dark. It is sexy. The tone of the song and the synth-y beats and clicks drive me up the wall with the editing in the vid. Philippa’s sinister competence. That confidence. Starlady and I go way, way back and of course she could make me something that hits ALL OF MY FUCKING BUTTONS. I have long been vocal about how much I love Star Trek and women. And villain women and anti-heroes. Hhhhhnngh. Dark sexy vid of my Empress.
You Should See Me in a Crown, by AurumCalendula. Star Trek Discovery, Mirror Philippa. TO BILLIE EILISH. Because Billie Eilish's music screams Philippa! lmao. Everybody knows exactly what my fucking type is and I AM HERE FOR IT FOREVER. This vid features more of the Mirrorverse episodes and Philippa and HHHHNNGHHHHH. I am so loved by being seen because y’all know me so well. Aurum’s editing always has me glued to the screen. I am also here for Philippa’s face, oh my god. NOTE: Click on the dropbox link in the end notes to stream it. Aurum’s got all their videos private while dealing with some copyright strikes on their account (ugh YouTube).
Those are just the vids made for me. There are many more vids that I have recced for festivids over the years and so much more to come!
The 2023 Festivids Collection currently has 137 fanvids and 111 fandoms right now. A bounty!! Barbie vid! Bottoms1 Cycling RPF?! Vids for books! Hong Kong action films! Janelle Monae and musicals. And more omg.
Festivids. Featuring lots of great fannish memories and great vids. Highly recommend. It's also been a great way for people getting into vidding to make their first vid, too! I love this exchange.
#i haven't participated since 2019 because i have absolutely only wanted to vid the witcher netflix and games the last few years lol#i still have 3 witcher vids planned for the upcoming year and probably more after that. also need to revisit vidding the games#January posting meme#january posting meme 2024#festivids#vids#fanvids#vidding#viddingdora#squeedora#fan vids#vid rec
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You think Jigsaw was pro life?
This is a very interesting question that I find myself thinking about very often. Putting under a read more, cuz this is gonna be a long ass ramble
Full disclosure, I am pro-choice and have had an abortion, so my takes are obviously going to be influenced by that
I think about this a lot cuz there’s the popular question of “would you survive a Saw trap?” and my smart ass response has usually been “I don’t have to worry about it cuz I haven’t done anything worth putting me in a trap” but then I remember that I did in fact have an abortion so I gotta be on my toes 👀 cuz that lil puppet could be anywhere
There is a line when John has Cecil in the knife chair where he says he’s doing this because Cecil accidentally injured Jill and caused her to miscarry. But he words this as Cecil “killing an innocent child” (or something to that effect, I don’t have the exact words in front of me) and I think he doesn’t even mention Jill. Seeing the life of an unborn child as more important the health and safety of his literal wife seems very pro-life to me. That being said, I’m not totally sure whether or not John would put someone in a trap for having an abortion, nor am I sure he would stop a trap if he found out the person in it was pregnant (and therefore place the life of the fetus on the same or greater level than the pregnant person).
Like John’s philosophy is so interesting to me particularly because of how hypocritical he can be sometimes. Cause like his whole thing is “value your life” not necessarily to value life itself, and to prove that you value your life his tests will sometimes require you to harm or even kill another person, who sometimes hasn’t even done anything particularly heinous (i.e. Lawrence being tasked with killing Adam (who I fully believe was not intended to survive), or Zepp being tasked to kill Allison and her young daughter Diana (who fully didn’t do anything). So in that way I could see John potentially seeing someone getting an abortion as a way for them to take control of their life, particularly if they were pregnant by sexual assault.
But then again, John seems to have very little sympathy for people doing “bad” things due to the circumstances they find themselves in. I think there’s a conversation between him and Amanda in X where’s she’s basically like “hey, man, maybe these people are doing these things that they know are wrong and feel bad about because they have no other way to make money and survive?” and John’s just like “nah, miss me with that gay shit” so idk 🤷🏻♂️
There’s also a whole thing about how some of the larger games almost operate on a Silent Hill kinda level, where you’re facing the guilt that you have surrounding an event (such as Jeff’s game from III) and you’re made to confront the ways you’ve been punishing yourself. So while it feels almost like going down a supernatural route where we believe that John somehow has a way to assess how much something weighs on your psyche, I feel like if someone didn’t feel guilty about getting an abortion (which, most people don’t obvs) then they wouldn’t be put in a trap.
In general, I feel like the politics of the Jigsaw killer(s) is a rich and complicated vein of character interpretation. In the beginning there’s definitely a conservative vibe, people being put into traps because they’re sex workers, drug addicts, mentally ill, etc. But when we get to VI it starts to get a bit more capital l Liberal with corrupt insurance company employees being put in traps. But even still, like I said, preserving your life is considered the sign of success and there are very few traps where sacrificing yourself for another person is even an explicit option, let alone considered the “right choice.” So there’s that to think about, I guess.
Long an short of it, in my opinion;
John: still on the fence on whether he’d put someone in a trap for having an abortion, but might stop the test if he found out they were pregnant, especially if they wanted to keep it
Amanda: she strikes me as pro-choice-ish around the beginning of her apprenticeship, but just generally anti-life towards the end, probably wouldn’t put someone in a trap for having an abortion, but would not stop the test if the person in it was pregnant, whether they wanted to keep it or not
Hoffman: as much as he is my thick waifu, he’s also an incredibly corrupt cop so he’s probably leaning conservative, he might put someone in a trap for having an abortion (although there’s a whole nother conversation to be had on how much Hoffman actually believes in John’s philosophy, so he just might not care enough idk), but he would not stop the test if a person in it was pregnant
Lawrence: he’s a doctor, he’s intelligent, so he wouldn’t put someone in a trap for having an abortion, but I feel like he would stop the trap if the person in it was pregnant but only if they wanted to keep it since family is probably a soft spot for him
Logan: thinking about the Jigsaw movie gives me such a fucking headache so I don’t wanna think about it too much, but he did participate in the US invasion of the Middle East and works with the police, so yeah probably conservative and pro-life
Schenk: tbh probably the most left leaning of the apprentices (although technically he’s not an official John Approved™ apprentice, but whatever) so he might be pro-choice, but honestly idk
But that’s just my 2 cents :)🏖
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what’re some of your underrated or under appreciated duos? Me personally Courtmien, Amanda and Courtney, Amanda and chanse, arasha and courtney
AHHHH SUCH A GOOD QUESTION
oooo yes i vibe with courtmien so much!! honestly my most underrated duo and ik this is quite unpopular/i havent heard anyone talk about it- is damien and chanse
i know they’re quite different and idk if they even hang out that much, but ive recently binged the whole sword af series and i’ve fallen in love with the way damien will appreciate a joke chanse makes that others overlook, or the way chanse guides damien sometimes with the dnd stuff since he actually has lots of experience with it. just little moments of respect like that really strike me- and it shows that even if people are different, you can still find a way to connect to them & make them feel appreciated <3
so that was my lil rant lol, hope that answered your ask anon, have a nice dayyy
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@afreakingdork Sooo here is my Weak Spot playlist; Donnie focused instrumentals, a lot of his POV to reader, some Reader to Donnie. So far one Donnie to Leo
I scoured my spotify for songs and ran out; i didn't want to clog it with TOO many instrumentals for now, so just a few.
I will continually add to it as i find more, hopefully i'll remember to update this post
Songs are listed with notes and my personal favorite Lyrics as an eye catch, purple for Donnie, Green for Reader!
@garbagemilkshake i used your WS Donnie doodles as the image, you're credited in the playlist description! Let me know if you'd like me to change the image!
Songs; in order of adding them. Feel free to shuffle the playlist!
Bear in mind some of these songs are NSFW
1. NGAHHH!! - Undertale ost
So many Undertale songs fit ANY donnie's Energy
2. Blah Blah Blah - The Oozes
Donnie @ Leo
"You've ruined the colour blue for me"
3. Honeybee - Steam Powered Giraffe
Donnie to reader
"You didn't have to offer your hand
Cause since I've kissed it I am at your command
But you did"
4. Dummy! - Undertale OST
This song is peak rise Donnie energy in general
5. Everyone But You - The Front Bottoms
Donnie to Reader
"I fell in love
'Cause no one saw me the way you did
And no one's seen me that way since"
6. Love Like You - Steven Universe
Donnie to Reader
"I always thought I might be bad
Now I'm sure that it's true
'Cause I think you're so good
And I'm nothing like you"
7. Blue Moon Motel - Nicole Dollanganger
Reader to Donnie
"Take me to the Blue Moon Motel
Carry me over the threshold
Treat me like I am your young bride
Together on our wedding night
Fuck me in the motel shower
Make my makeup run like a pornstar
Carry me naked to the bed
Fawn my hair out when it's still wet"
8. True Love Café - Nicole Dollanganger
Reader To Donnie
"You have such a beautiful face
I've been dreaming about it between my legs
Come over and crawl into my bed
Kiss me, get me wet, give me head"
9. Lil' Red Riding Hood - Amanda Seyfried
Donnie to Reader
"What a big heart I have
The better to love you with
Little red riding hood
Even bad wolves can be good"
10. This is Love - Air Traffic Controller
Donnie to Reader (big Bad Villain song in general doesn't fit to a T but it is mighty sexy)
"Oh I was hit as a kid
I was good but then I quit
Everyone that tried to fix me
Knows that I can't change a bit
I've got no shame, got no pride
Only skeletons to hide
And if you try to talk to someone
Well then someone has to die
Once you chase me down the hole
Yeah once you think you're in control
You'll believe that we are partners
And you'll feel uncomfortable
Oh then the darkness rolls in
And you'll forget who I have been
But you'll love, love, love it, this is love"
11. 10 Simple Murders - The Future Kings of Nowhere
A Villain song for Donnie
"By this time I had become accustomed to the kill
And I'm not proud about it but I kinda like the thrill
To feel the heartbeat in the throat, the terror in the eyes
The sorry choking noises as they beg you for their lives
Oh, strangulation music... that was number five"
12. Everything Black - Unlike Pluto ft. Mike Taylor
Donnie to Reader
"Baby, you
Should come with me
I'll take you to the dark side
Me and you
You and me
Do bad things in the night time"
13. Addicted To Love - Florence + The Machine
Reader to Donnie
"Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff, oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough
You're gonna have to face it, you're addicted to love"
14. Cradle of Myriad Stars - Wolf Children OST
Romantic Track for Donnie & Reader
15. You Are My Beautiful Song - Wolf Children OST
Romantic Track for Donnie & Reader
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I think a huge amount of my issue with how people (leftoids) recieve (leftist, countercultural or similarly aligned) art online is:
a) a lot of it seems to be based on a perceived failure of the art to live up to some radical ideal of Changing The World. this is an issue to me because I don't think art is for changing the world. creating art isn't an act of direct revolutionary praxis the way like, blowing up pipelines or drafting new legislation or building mutual aid networks are. art is there to change you so you can change the world. no art whether it's Disney Film #284367 or some indie antiart installation piece is sufficiently threatening to the status quo in and of itself to Be The Revolution - revolution comes about through connection and unification and art can help us do that. or can help us believe in fucked up shit. but like. it's happening in us not in the art. getting mad bc a piece of art isn't Sufficiently Changing The World is missing the point imo. the question is does it change you?
b) the closer a piece of art is to challenging the hegemonic art institution the more critical we are of it, and I don't think that's down to corporate capture or a failure to notice the institutional issues as much as that people's reactions to institutional art is 'well what can you expect' whereas there's a much more personal betrayal from indie or countercultural art sources. a version of this might be how people have responded to shitty corporate exploitation and abuse at say CDPR vs Ubisoft, or to the value of art made by A24 vs Disney. Or like, in general the reception to artists like Neil Gaiman or Amanda Palmer or Lil Nas X or Rebecca Sugar or Contrapoints who are engaging imperfectly but nonetheless engaging with stuff like race, sexuality, gender, colonialism, capitalist power etc. Like the criticisms levelled are usually valid, it's not that they're wrong or necessarily disproportionate, it's that there much more often levelled at people who are trying to say something we broadly agree on than they are at people who aren't. you know? and I think it's a fatigue thing. like the entire mainstream arts establishment is fucked and full of people and institutions who hold awful beliefs or have done awful things and we can't get mad at all of them. but the annoying impact of that is that collectively that energy seems to land more with, you know, Taika Waititi than Mel Gibson. More with A24 than Marvel Studios. More with Contrapoints than The Quartering.
like we give more critique to artists we expect more of and that's fair enough. except a) this is the internet so it's often not really so much critique as CANCELLED CANCELLED CANCELLED NONE OF YOU ARE FREE FROM SIN but also b) idk. it feels like when we're waiting for the Perfect Piece Of Radical Art To Lead The Revolution and will accept no less from any art that tries to make any kind of critique of the world as it is, but don't hold the same expectations towards art which is fully hegemonically aligned and within the expected norms, what we've ended up with is a world where
let's say for example
a fun murder mystery about evil rich people defeated by the cleverness of a working class heroine is Bad because it criticised capitalism and racism in a broadstrokes and milquetoast liberal way that won't Change The World, and this makes it Counterrevolutionary Pro Capitalist Propaganda That Is Making You Stupid
but a Disney film about how the US military is great actually and the only problem with it is that you don't believe hard enough in yourself!!!! and in reifying that punching things will fix the world and anyone trying to enact change from the status quo is de facto evil regardless of how correct their complaints are? that's just a fun film, it's Disney, you can't expect it to be radical, just have fun!
Idk it's very wearing.
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I'm not sure if you're into fashion or anything, so feel free to disregard this, but do you have any met gala opinions this year? Do you have a favorite look or at least a look you despise?
I'm moderately into fashion? At least, I'm into clothes.
As for met gala opinions... not really, at least, this year's theme is the kind of theme that is a lot of fun for people in the fashion industry who knew Karl Lagerfeld's style, to the rest of us it's "Ah yes the uh (quickly googles) the cat guy" Which uh I guess Jared Leto must've thought as well, only instead of being funny or charming the way Heidi Klum's worm costume was, Leto's cat costume was just kind of try-hard and sad.
My favorite look would be Anne Hathaway, her look was high fashion and visionary while actually being a beautiful dress, sexy but not trashy, it's one of the few outfits to come out of this year's gala that is fun to see without being ridiculous. I liked it.
Apart from that I have really boring taste, I'm the "oh that looks nice on you dear" type which means Miranda Kerr and Olivia Rodrigo win ten out of ten for me while Lil Nas X (I'm an MCU villain now!) ranks lowest and Pedro Pascal (my hairy legs are out, that's how high fashion I am), Kristen Stewart (I look terrible, that's how high fashion I am), Amanda Seyfried (I'm almost nekkid :P), and Kim Kardashian (I'm also almost nekkid :P) are close on his heels. I hope the headlines were worth it, I really do.
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ok i got this ask a lil while ago and i wasnt going to answer it but i feel like this exemplifies the game of telephone happening on the dash so i wanna remind everyone this was the post that people got mad at
sorry for the blue outline otherwise it blends in w my post but. none of the words anon wrote are here. It was a post about how funny some of the speculation happening around mcrs sex lives is bc thats all thars on the dash due to no one having anything to talk about. Amanda said itd be funny if other parts of bandom did this and wrote a funny little hypothetical as an example. It seems like a lot of ppl on the dash have no clue why posts are going around but are trying to comment bc this is the only thing thats happened on the dash worth discussing in days but its been wayyy blown way out of proportion and im...not fully sure what people are even discussing anymore
#barry.txt#posting this w ops permission bc i want to clear the air and things are grtting wild#i swear after this im going to bed i need 2 SLEEP
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First halloween with Eve Fletcher
a/n : making this a hcs thing instead of a lil blurb because what ? it’s my blog
This woman is a big halloween fan and you can’t tell me otherwise
Decorates a month before halloween, like where ever she can
Her office at work, her car, the outside of her house, the inside, anywhere and everywhere
First year together and she wants to do couples costumes which you find so adorable
Eve choosing between Daphne+Velma, Mario+Princess peach, then Morticia addams and gomez.
She goes for the first one when the both of you give out candy to kids in her neighborhood and then the last two when you head over to Amanda’s house for a party
Eve making candy bags to hand out to the kiddos and a special one for you at the end of the night
All your favorite candies, edibles and what not.
The day of Halloween, both of you are so excited to have such a fun day together
Even waking you up with kisses ( as always )
MAKING PUMPKIN PANCAKES
“ my little chef”
makes her blush like crazy fr tho
I want eve
So much dancing to halloween music the day of
Helping her get ready in the afternoon
THat picture of the girls doing makeup? You and Eve
Eve sitting on the bed while you sit in her lap doing her makeup but she keeps moving.
“ Babe if you want it to look perfect you gotta be still for me, got it ?” girlie loves your praise so much of course she’ll do it
Her morticia Addams costume makes you go crazy ( side note kathryn hahn as Morticia Addams)
Eve feeling the same way about you in your gomez costume
Getting lots of compliments from people bringing their kids as both of you commit to the act.
Eve getting distracted a couple of times watching you
Once all the candy is finished, both of you heading over to Amanda’s house to her party.
Getting even more compliments from everyone
Eve getting drunk and more confident to flirt with you in public
“ do we look hot or not babe? God we look sexy?”
Drunk Eve is a blessing
Ending the night off with cuddles and well needed sleep
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here to say, of course, lmtbgs is FANTASTIC, you deserve all the praise coming through for it, thank you so much for writing it. Your voices for them always sound so real and layered, and your writing always makes my brain go (more) feral about their dynamics. x1000 for the smut.
but tbh im SOOO excited about your other angsty amangela projects coming up because your other angst ive seen is also SO good, like the triple A one- it feels so real and hard hitting without feeling overwrought. and with the blorbos amanda and angela!!!
any other secrets or thoughts about the new angsty amangela fic coming up 👀
oh my gosh!! this is!! the SWEETEST?? thank you so much for the kind words anon omg 😭😭😭
and oh god where to begin with amangela angst/iwiwd….i Might ramble a bit about this so prepare to be winded by my incoherent thoughts skhddhdkl
listen. i LOVE writing amangela as these silly lil pining idiots that cant somehow see how into them the other person is. thats my bread and butter. but ANGST….on one hand i do find it harder to write because im afraid i’ll veer towards being melodramatic/unrealistic so that takes a bit longer But it is also very rewarding. and how im writing iwiwd is a bit different to my triple A angst fic.
y’all might see something new from me (👀) but the core of the fic is pushing the realism of someone like amanda having feelings for someone like angela. lots of exploration around being lonely, amanda’s intuitiveness w/ her feelings, her nurturing tendencies (that can go to her need to bottle things up for the sake of others So Quickly) and the feeling of something not being For You.
tldr; amanda’s A Mess and i will make sure that mess is seen!!
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SGU Week Day 2 (I promise I can count; I'm just behind!!): Favorite Character
Leave it to me to get fixated on a character who only shows up in 4 episodes of a show that got cancelled 12 years ago. 😫 I thoroughly enjoyed SGU from its inception, but Amanda Perry is what took the show from something I really enjoyed to my current hyperfixation (yes, it's her fault I'm here, this fictional lady). She lives rent-free in my head. 💖
(Also fair warning this is gonna be long as hell)
I'm aware that her primary function is that of "love interest," but her character resonated with me on a much deeper level. Maybe I didn't travel a billion light-years to be with the person I love, but I did move 1,000 miles away from everything I knew to make a life with the man who became my husband. I know what it's like to feel rejected because the person you love shows their love differently (though I've been married for almost 6 years now after 3.5 years of long-distance, and then a lengthy engagement, so I know from experience that loving differently doesn't mean loving less). I know what it's like to feel like I'm not valued as a person, though in my case, I was mistreated because I'm autistic as opposed to being paralyzed, and I was regularly used and taken advantage of for my musical abilities, with little respect for my health or needs. I wasn't a person, I was a thing. I've been targeted by people I couldn't fight back against, even for things I didn't do. I know what it's like to be left behind for a lot of social milestones (driving, dating, etc.) I know what it's like to finally find that one safe person who sees you for you.
Amanda is relatable as hell to me. I do want to focus on her specifically in this post, though obviously her romantic endeavors are a factor. Tbh one of the main reasons I like her so much is, in addition to all the other stuff I just mentioned, is that she was the one to initiate things with Rush. I have little dating experience, myself, but I was the instigator in most of my relationships, especially with my husband. Gotta love those ladies who are active instead of waiting around for a guy to make up his mind!
Anyway, I make a lot of SGU memes and dumb lil comics that I share on Facebook, and a decent chunk of them are about Amanda (she even has her own multi-episode arc!!), so I'll share some of them here. I guess if people like them, I can put them on tumblr. I'll add that the vast majority of my content takes place post-stasis, so this Amanda inhabits her own meat body, cloned from DNA the SGC had on file, and is not a computer ghost or a body-swapper with questionable ethics. 😂
I have generated A LOT of memes lmao
Well that didn't turn out to be a metaphor for anything... 😏 I didn't catch this the first time, but I ugly-laughed on my second watch-through.
When the lockdowns were first imposed in my town, I had no idea what that meant, and I was literally about to get in my car and commit a crime because I thought my husband was going to be trapped at work for 2 weeks. Obviously, that wasn't the case, but I felt this scene.
Since my brain has chosen to attach itself to a character with minimal backstory, I'm obligated to fill in the blanks. One thing I find disappointing in media is that even the nerdy women tend not to have nerdy interests, which absolutely is not what I've experienced in real life. My thought is that Amanda was already something of a prodigy ("Little Miss Brilliant" probably isn't a nickname you get for being a regular genius lmao) before her accident, probably skipped a grade or two in school, private tutors in math and science, that kind of thing, and was later homeschooled before starting college as a teen. She was probably pretty lonely because of that. I'm not quite a "genius" (I have a Master's in music and an Etsy shop, and I uhhhhh make memes about an old TV show for fun), but I am a former gifted kid. Even though I took gifted classes from 4th-12th grade (academics, not that pull-out enrichment crap), I felt very lonely even among my gifted classmates, and I struggled with making friends throughout school because I was just too different. I was weird. I liked weird stuff. The girls were mean. The boys that were my friends didn't like the girly stuff I enjoyed, so I had to lock that part of myself away to fit in. The kids a grade ahead of me obviously left, and the kids a grade below me didn't want to keep in touch when I moved on to high school or college. It was lonely. I see similar things in Amanda's brief appearances. She's on the Destiny for 3 weeks, and she pretty much just sticks to Rush because he's "safe." She tries to be friendly with Eli, but he ends up making fun of her, and he's not very nice to her later on, either (sometimes for good reason; she's my fave but she's no saint). TJ isn't exactly in a position to be socializing during a complicated surgery, so she gets a pass. 😉
This was rambly, but my point is that a lot of lonely nerds are drawn to sci-fi, even the girls. I know for a fact that I'm projecting, but come on, she designs hyperdrives. You really gonna sit there and tell me she never watched Star Trek? 😂
As a side note (oh boy even more rambling), in my fan content, she and Eli have a very sweet friendship based on their shared nerd interests. I really don't think they'd get along in canon as things were left.
Speaking of sci-fi, I like to think that, after getting recruited for the Stargate program, Amanda watched all of Wormhole X-treme to prepare herself. I also like to think that no one else on Destiny's crew has seen it except Eli, who saw a handful of episodes randomly. I just really need him to see a stargate for the first time and be all like WOW JUST LIKE WORMHOLE X-TREME 😂 These are two separate excerpts, one mentioning the show and tying it back to actual events in SG-1, and the other showing a snippet of an episode. Replicators are kinda like Legos, so of course the humanoid Wormhole X-treme versions would be Lego people (I'm not creative, I'm just silly).
Going back to feeling lonely, I do think Amanda would be pretty imaginative, even if she's kinda one-note. In a fic I'm working on, she confesses that all of her fantasies involve Rush and having working legs (disclaimer that there's obviously nothing wrong with using a wheelchair and that disabled people can and do have fulfilling romantic relationships and sex lives, but it seems clear in the show that she would like to be able to walk again, so I have stuck to that for this particular story), and the narrative quality of her fantasies is very much on par with dollar store romance novels. She reminds me a little of Tina from Bob's Burgers and her "erotic friendfiction," so I made a few crossover memes. That's Tina's copy of "Buttloose" in the 4th panel. Panel 3 is also a borrowed quote from Tina. I do think Amanda might struggle with tidiness since she spent a good 25 years not being able to pick up after herself at all. I also struggle with this due to executive dysfunction and growing up in a borderline hoarder environment, so I guess I'm projecting again RIP 😅
No, really, Camile, what do you mean????
I guess in Amanda's defense, she doesn't find Rush off-putting in any way since he's not unnecessarily mean to her. 😂
I'm not sure if I'll ever complete my fic, but one thing I'm exploring, both there and, to a less complicated degree, in my memes, is Amanda's use of the neural link while she's a computer ghost. In Seizure, she seemed to use it with ease (apart from that one colossal fuckup lmaooooo), and I'd really like to see what she could do with it after her file is no longer quarantined. I've done a lot of cringe rambling and infodumping (congrats to anyone who's actually made it this far), so I won't go into detail, but she does work on expanding use of the link so she and Ginn can use it at the same time and connect to multiple people so they can socialize and function more as crew members instead of something like a guardian angel or familiar spirit. I'd also like, as mentioned in a previous post for this event, if she could help Lisa "see" again via the neural link. Another possibility, as alluded to in the above photo, is making "holograms," which aren't really holograms, but are more like skins for the ship's AI. What's cooler, accessing a medical database in the infirmary, or asking the EMH from Voyager to give you the info you need? If you're a loser like me, it's absolutely the second one.
More backstory!! My hc is that Amanda's parents were killed in the accident that paralyzed her (on the way to some math tournament with the high school mathletes or something idk I'm a musician I don't know what STEM people do for fun), and she was raised by her grandparents. We all love to make our faves suffer, and I'm no exception. This is just a silly little comic, but there is a certain sadness of being intellectually advanced but emotionally immature, something common among gifted kids and neurodivergent people (and I'm both, wheeeee). Things are thankfully getting better now. I love seeing more acceptance. But it was difficult in the early 00s when I was a teen, and I'm sure it would have been harder for Amanda in the '80s and '90s. It's also difficult when you have to rely on someone else for transportation, but they are unwilling to take you places (I went nowhere in college except school and church and my parents were still always mad at me, which is weird of them because they actively discouraged me from driving and would not teach me or help me get over my fears, so uhhhh yeah).
Last one~
So yes, I'm definitely salty that my top 2 SGU ladies got fridged twice (Ginn's my second fave because of course she is). I do think it opened up a lot of interesting possibilities for both characters, but as the show was tragically cut short, we have to rely on fan content. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make here is that Amanda and Ginn would have been fine had Amanda simply studied Bobby Hill's Guide to Self-Defense. Yes, it's bad, but I am a bad person and I generate irreverent things.
If you made it this far, then congratulations, you're an obsessed weirdo like me!! I know Amanda isn't exactly popular, nor is SGU, especially not so long after the fact, so I don't really expect anyone to read all this. If you do, I hope I was able to convey why she is so special to me. If nothing else, I hope you enjoyed the memes.
Also this took me like 5 hours to write, Jesus Christ I need to sleep
#sgu week#amanda perry#sgu#stargate universe#wormhole x-treme#shitpost#sgu memes#sgu amanda#sgu headcanon#sgu spoilers#look it got cancelled 12 years ago but i didn't even know it existed until about a year ago#THAT'S MY PURSE I DON'T KNOW YOU#i just love her so much#and I'm glad I'm finally free from RWBY because it sucks being hyperfixated on something you don't like anymore#now I have a new thing to like and be obsessed with!#long post#very long post
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Dec. 13, 2023 was one for the books. Saw a shooting star on the highway going home so I got out and took this picture and it kinda looks like a bird. The stars are breathtaking. Remember who you are.
The wind started blowing like crazy when I found her and there was a lil tornado of dust that moved through the lil parking lot. When I told her all the things, all the big things that I’ve been wanting to say for so, so long. The sun came out and it felt like all these warm vibrations of light were radiating my way; the way the sun shined in between the trees, directly on me and the rose bush there, I couldn’t help but to cry and then the wind would blow again and it was truly everything to me. Our whole thing was everything to me and I feel at peace with myself, as much as I can, because I know I did my best. Like in Forest Gump…these two were like the feather that found me. I wrote something and I’ll share it here; might as well. “Like a feather blowing in the wind; it stopped for a second to lend me a hand. This is what it means to be Grateful. This is what it means to Love. This is what it means to Hope. This is what it means to let go. May your love be ever flowing, like a river that leads to the sea. Through all the seasons and mountains, valleys and the sky, full of stars that will always be there but you might not be able to see them because of the weather. I’m happy to know that you are somewhere out there. I’m better because of it. May your time, Love and memory be valued; treasured, forever.”
When I put the rock there, in front of the rose bush that I’m so damn happy is there because I too have planted one because it will grow back a couple times a year, every year…I felt like how I did when I first went there. Like all of me was finally…finally back together again after all these years. As much as it all possibly can be. I didn’t want to bring flowers that would eventually wither away; that always pained me to think about because I brought 2 roses, one for both of them, on an adventure once and this lady at the greyhound bus station taught me a trick on how to keep them from wilting so fast - aspirin and warm water…so that’s why I brought a rock but not just any rock…it was part of a big rock that I got all the way from the top of Pike’s Peak; 14,115 ft. high in the sky from an adventure I went on with people like me and their lovers. It was a dream. It felt so good to get the things that had been on my heart so long out there. It was a different kind of satisfaction, one I can live with and be at peace with because it was time to finally let it all out and let it go and to sit there and truly be at this place with my own self because the person I was back then vs the person I am now…I went through Hell, doing my best to overcome who I used be… I had to tell her everything and do it in person, for me. It wasn’t enough for me to pray and talk to her from this far away, you know…I had to show up in my own way and I did.
More than anything from me placing the rock there, I hope that her mom and family see it and it brings them some peace and joy this Christmas knowing that someone was there who remembers her and loves her so much cause I do. I always have because her and Amanda were a package deal which I respected so much and that’s why I held on so damn tight because they were both a light to me and I didn’t want to let either of them down. They both were my reason. Her family won’t ever know the story behind the rock and I don’t know if they will even see it or if it will get blown away but I’m happy I was able to get a piece of the mountain to both of them before Life does what it does best and changes and we all move on. It’s hard letting go but before I do, I had to do this. For me and also her family cause she was a rock to me and changed my life, completely. Showed me what it meant to be a true friend and to be that to myself too. I told her that even if the rock breaks apart, don’t worry cause just like the little pieces, her love has spread out to everyone she knew and all who love her; she’s always with us and everything we do. I didn’t take any pictures of it because I just want to leave it all there but when I broke a piece off of the big rock to get her a piece, I kid you not, it seriously looks like a heart from damn near every side and I was just like wow! How about that! I know it’s been a long time and that her family has seen lots of things show up there but that was my thing I needed to do and it was so fucking worth it. Ain’t no mountain high enough. To show up there in person as the person I am now on the other side of everything. I’m happy that it’s part of my story, even though she’s not here anymore, when I attempted and had all that stuff happen to me, I knew I wasn’t going to go back to how I used to be and it took me some time to get through all of my stuff and heal as much as I have but it was always worth it to get to where I’m at now and to be real…even if things didn’t go the way I hoped so badly they would, it wasn’t for nothing because now we can all be free and there’s nothing that will ever come close to that because that’s all you could ever hope and pray for for the ones you love. Wherever they go and that they are surrounded by people who genuinely love, care and value them for who they truly are and not what they can do for other people.
When I got up to leave, I was walking over to my car and there was this lady in a white puffy coat who was walking behind me. I wasn’t going to say anything at first but I felt like I needed to say something and so I said hi and she said hi to me too and asked me who I went to see and I told her my story and she said that if you feel like your heart is calling you to follow it and do something then you listen to it and absolutely follow your heart because you won’t regret it. I know that regrets follow you to the grave and asking Amanda for forgiveness was astronomical but I had to tell her the truth about me while I was still alive because well, God knows how much this all meant to me and is there for me to see me through this. While this stuff is still fresh, I just wanted to put it here because Tumblr is where it all started and it only seems right that I put this story here. I will always love and care for both of them, their families and this part of my life. Just because people leave doesn’t mean that the Love they left behind is gone too, it will always be there; just in a different way and I’m so eternally grateful. It won’t go to waste and I’m gonna keep doing my best to hold on and create something beautiful out of it like on the trip, I painted some rocks with messages and left them at rest stops and random places for people and I did a project in 3rd grade where my mom and I built a longhouse made by the Iroquois’; I thought they were only in Upstate NY but they weren’t, they had them there and I finally got to see them and FaceTimed with my mom! One of the longhouses had a wolf on the front. It was so amazing. I got my mom some pinecones from there too. I don’t know where life is going to take me but I have so much going on now where I’m showing up and talking to leaders in the community, it’s so mind blowing and I am happy to have told her all about it and to be the person I am now because of her. Of both of them. I know a lot about what Love is because of them and what it means to let go. All I have left to say now is Thank you and I love you.
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I saw your tags on the Daniel Matthews post and honestly I hadn’t even thought about parallels between Daniel/Gideon and Eric/John…but I’m thinking about it now…*holds out microphone* care to elaborate further?
okay sorry had to go drink some water, get out of pjs, start some laundry, make oatmeal, slice up an avocado, discuss the world and news with my parents, get a nice lil iced beverage for myself (an iced chai latte), and eat the last brownie from a family picnic i didn't attend. listening to no reptiles by everything everything on repeat LET'S GO
so like. this gets long. i should put it under a read more but fuck it. I actually slept last night and woke up before 5am, and have now been up for six hours already, so you're all gonna suffer through this as well. welcome to hell aka my brain on saw brainrot.
This is also kinda based off my tags on this post as well.
But like I said in that post, Saw is about families, made and unmade. It's also about self perception, legacy, and continuation.
John Kramer, in a metaphorical sense, is trying to rebuild his family. He lost Gideon, and he will never have a child of his own flesh and blood, so he improvises.
You can very easily see Amanda, Mark, Lawrence and Logan (but we don't want to talk about him and for good reason) as surrogate children. We joke about this being the worst murder family in the world a lot, but they are in a sense, a family. They're followers of Jigsaw in the real sense, but daughter and sons of him in a spiritual sense, a succession and legacy. And those children, I believe, are his attempts at replacing Gideon in his life.
But like any father with children, John has expectations of them. He wants them as impartial judges, as merciless executioners of his will and his philosophy.
They fail him.
Amanda, who is angry and too emotion driven, too in love with and hopeful for humanity to judge them without letting her feelings get involved. She is too much like a daughter, wanting her father's love and attention above all else. Which disappoints him. John has no love to give her, and has given as much instruction as he thinks necessary. He tests her until she fails, until she breaks and is laying on the floor dead before him in his final act on earth and alive.
Mark, who is in no way impartial, who departs from John's will and directives, who imposes his own overwhelming will on this broken family. He is too much the Cain, the killer of his sister. Too much Nero, killing his mother, Jill, and burning down the kingdom. Too tyrant and consumed with his own passions, but still a perfect mirror for John because he's too much John. John has no choice but to cut the tall poppy, to put down the rabid dog.
Then, there's Lawrence. Lawrence who does follow John's directions, but is in the end, a simple shell, broken beyond repair and an automaton with no heart in contrast to Amanda's too much. He follows, he obeys, he cuts and stitches up those wounds, he bends his will and his passion and his drives to John's unlike Mark. But he's a ghost, a caricature of John and his reputation. Lawrence, the man, never made it out of that bathroom, but Lawrence, the dutiful set of hands, the cutting sword, the walking insurance policy, did.
And, if you include him-Logan. Who is lost to the wilds of the greater world, to war and battle with no bearing on the insular familial cycle of Jigsaw's legacy. He never comes back, and John never wants him back, he has his hands full with the others.
All these willful and vengeful and ungrateful children, who do not accept the gifts John presents them, the paths laid out for them.
But there's the child that never arrived.
Gideon, his unborn son. Gideon, Hebrew for warrior, feller, one who cuts down. Gideon is there in John's mind, constantly, the measuring stick up against which all these children made by his hand, by not by his blood, are judged. Plan upon plan was laid out for Gideon. He was suppose to be John's legacy, his way to outlive himself. He was suppose to be born in the year of the Pig, a child filled with the dreams and hopes of his parents, but never was one to grow up and break their hearts.
He can remain everything John Kramer wanted because he was never alive, never realized fully in all the complexities of every living being. He was the perfect child and could make no mistakes, couldn't rebel.
And that brings us to Daniel.
Daniel is selected, chosen, to be the central figure in the nerve gas house. Daniel, Hebrew, God is my judge, except in the world of Saw, John Kramer is god, isn't he? He is chosen because, in John's eyes, he breaks his father's heart and yet still is the apple of Eric's eye. The nerve gas house is to temper Daniel, turn him into a purer version of an already largely innocent child. He wants to correct the faults he sees growing in Daniel.
John sees Daniel and sees Amanda, the attention seeking child calling for a father's love. John sees Daniel, who holds the potential of both his sons, the wrath of Mark and the duty of Lawrence. Sees what Gideon could have been, and how a son can turn away from a father. He sees Daniel and wishes to show Eric what he sees in Daniel, with a less than successful result.
First, Daniel survives. He was always suppose to survive. John couldn't kill what is perhaps the closest analogue to what Gideon could have been, he never could. And this was suppose to be a lesson to Eric Matthews, to open his eyes to John's idealized expectations of what having a son, a legacy, should feel like.
But, Eric fails. Eric doesn't see what John wants him to see, because Eric was always going to fail. He was a failure from the outset, too consumed by his work, too angry and hotheaded and unwilling to bend. He is a narrative foil to John, two fathers with the same problems.
Eric wants Daniel to bend to him, to obey the rules and structures. Eric lays his hopes and dreams within his son, like John did with Gideon. Eric received his gift of a son, but he's wasted it, in John's eyes. Eric wants Daniel to be upright and better, greater, than him, but he doesn't lead by example.
But neither does John. John expects greatness from his children, but he's not a god, he's just a man, prone to mistakes, just like Eric Matthews, in the end.
They both fail their children.
#saw#cai says things back#saw meta#YAY I CAN START THAT TAG!!!!#i apologize to everyone for putting this massive post on your dashes but i have THOUGHTS OKAY#long post
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NOW ITS UR TURN WHO ARE YOUR MGS FAVS AND WHY!1!1?1!1?1!1?11!1! ٩( 'ω' )و
EHEHEEEE OK SO I'll say my fav from each game
Mgs1 is def Liquid he. He's so overdramatic it's really funny. He did so many backflips while explaining his tragic backstory 🥰 and then he just fucking died and turned into an arm which is the real tragedy (I have so many random HCs for him it's insane... I also rewrote his backstory a little...the recessive thing is so dumb)
Mgs2 I think it's a split between Raiden and Fortune. Raiden I really enjoyed playing as a character who is just... idk how to put it I just like that he's flawed and not some morally perfect charismatic guy. It feels like he's set up to be that way and then he whines about everything and is very dismissive at some points. It feels like he's a real person and not perfectly crafted to be the ultimate stereotypical good guy protagonist who can stay cool and collected in every situation. He has his moments where he lets emotion get the better of him and I like it a lot.
Fortune I have less to say about her but it doesn't mean I like her less. I think she's a really tragic character backstory wise but I also like how she sort of "plays into it" I guess? Ocelot points it out himself near the end of the game ("you couldn't get enough of the drama"). I thought the ending where she found out she could've died any time and she didn't have some magic ability was sad too and I lowkey wish she didn't die and was like redeemed somehow (imagine she comes back in mgs4 and has to go against Vamp or something that would've been so cool)..anyway I guess I didn't actually have less to say I like Fortune a lot blehhh😋
mgs3 AGH.. EVA ILY she is such a well written character and I love her so much I could write an essay on her if I wanted but I'll keep it more brief here. She's like a perfect subversion of the typical sexualized woman in video game thing...it's what she's doing as a spy for the mission and the best part is it doesn't even really work lol nice job snake. The game itself even adheres to whether Eva is in her Eva persona or her Tatyana one. It's....aghhhhghhh so great. (I have so many thoughts about her and Liquid btw)
Mgs4...difficult but probably Screaming Mantis. For real this time not a lot to say about her but I do like her a lot more since playing the game she went from my least fav B&B unit member to my fav one. She was really fun to watch in all her cutscenes and her boss fight was one of the best MGS boss fights I've ever done tbh. The callbacks and references to the first game were so good I won't lie I was giggling kicking my feet a lil bit. Screaming Mantis ily I have so many thoughts <333
Peace Walker ermmm Kaz and Paz equal I can't decide..also maybe Amanda. Yeah I like everyone a lot 😭 and Cécile....not Snake tho sorry lol. I haven't finished the game so I haven't gotten the full character arcs of everyone so it's hard to pinpoint exact explanations but you know I love Kaz forever and ever mwah mwah (I'm also a transfem Kaz truther and I'm RIGHT!!!). Amanda has a lot of really cool tapes explaining a lot of...not really exposition but it gives a lot of great context to her character. And her voice acting especially in cutscenes is some of the best voice acting I've seen in an mgs game so it adds a lot. Paz I need to learn more about her. I know basic plot points but not the inbetween stuff that really lets you get to know her. I do feel really sad for her though, Kojima decided he wanted shock value instead of a female character having a nice ending 🤷♀️ Sucks.
Mgsv QUIET!!!! QUIET ILY!!! she's soooooo OUGH. I'm glad a lot of the fandom has fixed her from her extremely flawed portrayal in the game because it shows what really could've been and I think I latch more onto that than the version of her in the game just a little. The foundation they were working with was still really good. The way they show her and venom building such a strong bond despite never having a single conversation is really well done and I like it a lot. Quiet ily my favourite creaturething killgirl my favourite ear biter offer...
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