#I gotta say therapy in the morning works for my schedule but damn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writingsfromhome · 3 years

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Bad Timing II

A/N: I’m just about finished the whole series and I’m excited for you to read this! <3 Sorry for the late upload, I started a new semester and had zero time to write but I worked on this all weekend. I’m curious to know if your opinions on Harry change after this part, the next part’s going to be packed but this is an in-between. Thanks as always for reading <333

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4

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I lay awake in bed, staring at the blank ceiling before my phone’s constant buzzing forces me up. A couple voicemails, and a single text from Harry: GM, call me if you need anything.

I stare at it longer than I should, the audacity to think we were fine enough to text me so casually. But there was some small solace in knowing he took the extra step to let me know. Ugh; my head injury was more serious than the medic diagnosed. I throw my phone on the bed and head downstairs where I’m surprised to see him gone. It was only 8am and I needed a coffee, otherwise I would not make it through the day. When I see the pot of coffee half full, I stop in my tracks. Harry made coffee before he left. I touch the pot and it’s still warm, he couldn’t have left that long ago.

I open the dishwasher that I’d loaded last night only to find it empty. I stand straight, hand on my hips--had he unloaded the dishes too? How did I not wake up to the noise? How did he even know where everything went?!

Maybe he wasn’t such a dense detective after all, the thought makes me smile. I look around the room and notice he’d tidied up from last night, and folded everything away on the couch he slept on. I take my coffee to the couch and without thinking, hug the pillow to my face and inhale. The strong scent of his aftershave sends a sharp and painful jolt to my memories. What the hell was I doing?

I drop the pillow and settle on my kitchen table, responding to some emails while I make a game plan for the day, shaking off the claustrophobic feeling I got thinking about going back to work. I finish the last of the coffee and start moving, shower, dress appropriately, pack my laptop...I just had to keep busy so I wouldn’t have time to think about it.

***

“We’re here for you, whatever you need,” the regional manager lets me know during the meeting. I’d learned post-trauma policies the bank had. I was sorry to know them, I really just wanted to put the whole thing behind me. I tell her that. “Unfortunately, it’s not that simple. We do require you to go to at least one counseling session, your employees have got to go to a group meet with a licensed therapist so you can all discuss this and get over the awful event.”

“I see,” I chew my lower lip. I didn’t want to talk to anyone about the way I jumped at every little thing and stared down each and every stranger on the tube on my way in today. I felt crazy. Maybe I did need a shrink. “I’ll include that in the memo I guess. Thanks again for all the support and the resources-”

“That’s my job, our job.” She motions to the man sitting beside her who hadn’t actually said much the whole time. We talk for a little while longer, and by the time they leave I’m exhausted. But I make the trek to the hospital to visit Cole like I told him I would.

***

The weekend flies by: I take the train to visit my dad up north and let him take care of me like I was a kid again. It was nice to unwind, I thought, I should visit my dad more often.

But come Monday, I’m back in my pantsuit ready to get on with my life. I try not to think about Thursday too hard but it’s difficult when first thing that morning, a therapist shows up for a group session. Most of my employees look anxious to be here, but I watch their shoulders relax as they discuss what happened. Watching everyone bond brings a lightness to the heaviness that sat in my chest: it was good.

“Ms. Y/L/N? When can we schedule a one-on-one?” The therapist stops me at the end of the session.

“I think this session helped a lot,” I put on a big smile. “I don’t think that will be necessary.”

She smiles politely, as if she expected this, “It’s a requirement for back-to-work. I have time right now if you’d like, I’m not seeing another employee until lunch.”

“Um,” I look to where everyone mingles, comforting each other and breaking off into groups. If I had to talk about it in order to work, and work is the only thing to help me get my mind off of it...I guess I had no choice. “Let’s do it now.”

But an hour later and I’ve mostly just talked her ear off about Harry showing up, how awful my luck was that he would be the lead detective on the case, how much damage he’d done to me. How he appeared on one of the worst days of my life again.

“It’s almost a sign,” I ramble. “Like...what are the odds?!”

“Do you still have feelings for him?” She asks, looking like she knew the answer.

“No,” I scoff. “I hate him. He broke my trust!” And my heart.

“Those are feelings,” she says wisely.

“Well sure, yeah, I have negative feelings towards him. Why wouldn’t I?”

She pauses, a very pregnant pause. “It’s been almost 4 years right? Usually, those feelings start to...dissolve into a more neutral ground when you...receive closure. You take time to grieve, to sit in the wound in your heart, but then you pick yourself up and try to heal. It seems like you’ve just told yourself you were healed and got on.”

“I am healed,” I insist.

“Just like you started this sessions by letting me know you were over the trauma that happened to you a few days ago?” She asks. I avoid her gaze. “When I asked about Thursday, you said you were ‘over it’ and you just wanted to focus on work but you’re not giving yourself closure. Likewise, with Harry. You haven’t found closure even after all these years.”

I stare at her, she’d sliced right into a vulnerable part of me--I’d led her there, I realise. It was something I knew all along, I just didn’t want to point at it alone.

“You’re right...I feel like I never got closure.” I confess. “How? I just want to know h-how he could’ve left me for another woman after all those years together--as lovers and as friends? He was there when mum...he was there through hell. And then he put me through hell.”

“I’d like to believe Harry showing up on a...hellish day is a sign like you say. But maybe a sign you need closure. Talk to him, ask him what you need to know in order to close that chapter of your life.”

I exhale, the idea of it making me feel claustrophobic. She wanted me to open myself up to him again and invite him to hurt my feelings? I try to ask her more but she looks at her watch. We’d gone over.

I thank her and walk out with a weight on my back that feels bigger than the one I went in with. I thought therapy was supposed to make me feel lighter.

***

I’m hiding behind my desk as the footsteps get closer and closer to the door. I clutch the knife in my hand and-

“Y/N!”

I jump up out of sleep, and open my eyes to my office. I stare at the table in front of me where the papers I used as a pillow are rumpled.

“Y/N? You have a call on-”

“Adam,” I look at my assistant. He’d been really quiet today and I was worried about him but there was so much to catch up on I hadn’t had the chance to talk to him. “Sorry I...haven’t been sleeping well.”

“I’m sorry Y/N...the detective’s on the line he insisted he talk-”

I roll my eyes and answer the phone, motioning for Adam I’d be okay. He hesitates at the door before closing it tightly behind him.

“Y/N?” Harry’s breathless voice answers irritably on the other line.

“Harry? Why are you calling me at work?” I ask, still sleepy from the nap. Is this about the case?”

“No it’s about your things at the station, it was processed--we couldn’t find anything useful so we’re returning this batch. And I think some of it belongs to your staff? Did you want to pick it up or should I drop it off to yo-”

“I’ll pick it up,” I wanted to make it clear that Harry in my space wasn’t going to be a normal thing. “I’ll head out in a bit, can I just collect it at reception?”

“They’ll buzz you through to me, I’ve gotta go-”

“Just leave it with reception...” I say to dead air. He’d already hung up. Damn.

***

“I’m here for some things, it was taken for evidence?” I say to the woman at reception.

“You’ll have to be more specific love,” she raises an eyebrow. “A lot happens here.”

“The bank rob-”

“Ah, Harry’s case. I’ll buzz you through-”

“No I thought maybe I could collect it here uh-” I look for a nameplate. “Serena, listen, I’m in a rush so is there any way for you to get it-”

The phone ringing cuts me off. She holds up her finger and I stand tapping my foot. She rolls her eyes at whoever was on the other line, motions that they were chatty and points to the glass doors. I sigh, I guess I was seeing Harry. I think about my therapist and cringe, I couldn’t.

When I walk in, I scan the room for Harry but I don’t spot him anywhere. I walk awkwardly until someone asks if they could help but they point to his desk and tell me I could wait there.

“I’m actually here to pick up some evidence, couldn’t you just give it to me?”

“He’s the lead officer, he’s got to sign off--”

“Fine,” I hated the bloody bureaucracy around here. I go to where he points and sit in Harry’s chair, ignoring the looks from people around me. I toy with the pen and doodle on an empty paper. Y/N was here I write and smile, it was juvenile.

“Y/N! Sorry! Nobody told me you were here.” Harry shows up a few minutes later. He opens the bottom drawer and takes out a nondescript cardboard box. If I knew if was down there I would’ve left a long time ago. “Just need you to sign this.”

“Okay,” I sign where he points and reach for the box. “I’ll grab that, thank you.”

“Can I walk you out?” He fiddles with his phone.

“Will you take no for an answer?”

“Nope,” he’s all teeth when he smiles. I sigh and walk in front of him. It’s weirdly silent but I notice he was typing on his phone when I look over.

“Well...g’night then.” I say at the door but he pushes it open and walks out with me.

He finally puts his phone away and asks. “Are you alright? Have you gone back to work?”

“Yeah,” I chew at my bottom lip, nervous. “We’re really sticking together, trying to get through it.”

“That’s good. That’s how it should be.” He waits a beat. “We’ve been trying to catch the robbers, they hit up another bank so it’s hell inside. That’s why I was so busy.”

“Another?” My heart plummets, and my palms feel slick.

“Yeah but we’re working as fast as we can. So...uh, did you need anything from me before you go?”

“I...” I think about the therapist’s words and chew my lower lip. I try to work up the courage. Fuck it, I realise. I had nothing to lose. “I do...actually.”

“Oh,” he looks surprised. “Good, what’s that?”

“I want to talk, about us. I...I need like, closure Harry. I think I deserve an explanation about...” I trail off as I notice him staring at me blankly. “What?”

His blank expression settles into confusion. “What’s more to explain Y/N. I’ve told you everything, I-I dunno. I thought one day we could get together like old friends, but it’s obvious you’re still upset with everything and I don’t know what more I can say? I said everything in that letter but if-”

“The letter?” I ask sharply, cutting off his chatter.

“Yeah, the one I wrote you after we...after you moved out?” When I don’t react he continues: “I dropped it off at your sister’s the week after you cleaned out your things? You didn’t...read it?” He looks hurt, if that was possible all these years later.

“I...did. Obviously I just...had some questions.” My heart races; what letter? He wrote me a letter?

“So what do you want to ask?” He looks at me curiously, concern etched in his brows. “I would like to talk actually-”

“Now’s not a good time,” I cut him off again. I had to know about this letter first. I can’t believe I walked into this blind. “I’ve actually had a long day, this is--we can do this another time, okay? Thanks for...walking me out.”

***

The first thing I do when I get home is call my sister. I can sniff her guilt a whole country away.

“Y/N, you were heartbroken! Y-you didn’t need to have it broken all over again reading his stupid letter! I was looking out for you!”

“That wasn’t your call!” I raise my voice. “I’ve been...I haven’t had closure all this time! I thought he didn’t even care enough to try to explain it to me and you knew he sent a letter this whole time?”

“Well when he showed up to the flat I wasn’t about to-”

“When did he come to the flat?” I wanted to strangle my sisters and her protective instincts.

“After you moved your things out. He wanted to see you and I knew you were a mess, I told him you never wanted to speak to him. I was looking out for you babe I-I didn’t even realise I was keeping you from closure I just...I didn’t want you hurting. Don’t be mad.”

I swallow the lump in my throat, she was right. It was Harry who hurt me, and I shouldn’t take it out on her. “I know. I know. I’m sorry for yelling I just-I wish I could read that letter.”

“I’m sorry,” she sniffs. “I should’ve given it to you once you moved out...I still have it though. I think I tucked it into my old yearbook. D’you want me to...”

“Mail it? Yes, as soon as possible please. I need to know what he wrote.”

“What if you just get hurt all over again?” she asks.

“I’ve been hurting, I don’t think his outdated explanation will hurt any more. Just please mail it the first chance you get okay?”

I was so close to it, I think. I had to get that letter. I needed closure. I deserved it. And just knowing I could get it, it’s almost like I was waking up in a dark tunnel I hadn’t realised I was in this whole time. I knew where I was, and I could see light on the horizon.

H POV:

The last time I had a full night’s sleep was on Y/N’s couch, this case was a lot bigger than we thought. It wasn’t just a robbery at one branch, these same people have hit up two other places in the last few days and they were good. The worst part was they weren’t afraid to use a gun.

“Chief,” one of the constables comes up to my desk, where I’d been staring at footage for the last hour. “There’s been um, there’s a problem-”

“Spit it out,” I say, eyes still on the screen.

“The evidence you released on Monday...blokes down in evidence can’t find the SIM from the scene...we think they accidentally left it with that batch.”

I look up from my screen and I can practically see the sweat breaking out on his brow as I stare. If that was important evidence, we’d misplaced it at the height of an investigation. My arse would be on the line too--it was my name on the authorization letter.

“Don’t panic until we’re sure it’s not with the evidence we gave out,” I get up and put my hand on his shoulder. “I’m looking into it right now, don’t let anybody know it’s happened.”

I grab my jacket from my chair and root in the pocket for my phone but Y/N’s number goes to voicemail. I curse. I look at the time, it was 6 already. I had a feeling she might kill me but I would have to drive to her place, I hoped she didn’t leave the evidence at work...after all I did tell her to return it to her employees...I have the brief thought of asking her in the morning but I remember my arse on the line and walk quicker.

“Woah, someone’s in a hurry,” Detective Cole comments as I rush past her. “Not even a hello.”

“Sorry,” I flash her a smile. “Urgent!”

“Need any help?”

I pause long enough to turn around and answer. “Normally I would say yes but I’ve got to do this.”

“Don’t let me keep ya,” she smiles, I notice Serena eyeing the both of us suspiciously as she packs up for the day. She was always trying to convince me to ask her on a date, but I was done with dating coworkers after I made the mistake of marrying one and breaking up quickly thereafter in the past. I’d changed careers quickly after that.

Y/N’s POV:

“Oh my god,” I stop in the middle of my bedroom as my sister reveals her big news over Facetime, an ultrasound held up to the camera. “Oh my god!”

“I know!” She squeals.

“I-I-you’re pregnant!” I was shocked, I didn’t even know my sister was trying for a third kid. “You better give me a bloody niece this time!”

My sister laughs, one hand on her belly. I should’ve known, I realise, she’d been cryptic the last few times we talked, dropping clue, but I’d been so wrapped up in other things I didn’t pick up on them. “It wasn’t even planned but Y/N, it feels right. The boys are stoked--they want a sister too.”

“I am so happy for you and Stu,” I let out a whoop. “I wish I could hug you! I’m going to book some time next month and come see you--this is big! Did you tell dad?”

“Not yet, don’t say anything--oh,” a cry bursts out from somewhere on her end. She rolls her eyes and tells me she would call me back. But I get a text to say there was an accident with a toy truck and a jug of OJ, she would call me back later in the evening when everything was settled.

I throw my phone down on my bed and sit on the edge in my robe, I’d just come out of the shower to my sister’s call. I was over the moon for her, but it was times like these I felt like an awful person. Because as I think about her happy news, I put my hand to my own belly and imagine what it would’ve been like to be the one calling family with good news. The familiar ache in my chest comes back, once upon a time I did have good news for a short period of time.

It was a few months before Harry and I split, I’d skipped a period and went immediately to the pharmacy. I’d decided to wait for a week before I would tell Harry because he was stressed from work. He was always stressed at that job, but I wanted it to be perfect. I’d spent the whole week stopping by nursery stores, browsing baby books, even buying a few onesies and the cutest booties I couldn’t put down. I picture the baby--mine and Harry’s, wearing them.

But the day I’d planned to tell him, I’d woken up and knew instantly something was wrong. I never told him, I fought with him that day instead...I couldn’t even remember over what. I held the awful burden on my own, packed the future I couldn’t have into a little box and shoved it under the bed. A few months later, Harry and I were over. That future was as fragile as the paper-thin wings of a butterfly, one that would never take flight.

I do what I did on my darkest days, I root underneath my bed and pull out the box.

I still had it; it was morbid, holding on to a future that was deader than dead. But I hold it in my lap, and run my hands over each piece of clothing. I imagine just for a moment what I could have had, they would’ve been 3 and I would’ve been a mum. My chest tightens, and I squeeze the items closer.

H’s POV:

By the time I get to Y/N’s, I’d stress-sang so many 90s hits that most of my nervous energy had streamed out the car window. I gather myself, clear my hoarse throat, and knock; ready to be beheaded. When there’s no answer, my nerves return. I knock louder, and try to peer through the frosty window.

“Harry?” Y/N opens the door in a flourish, looking fresh from a shower. I try to block the visuals that spring to mind, my mind blanking as I try to remember what I had to say. “Hello? Harry? Why are you here?”

“Uhm,” I shake my head. “Urgent business--the evidence I gave you on Monday, please tell me you still have it?”

Her eyebrows furrow, “You’re knocking on my door at nearly 7 for evidence you returned to me?”

“It’s urgent,” I look around out of habit. “Y/N, we may have accidentally given you something with the evidence we were meant to keep--please I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important. I’m not messing with you, this is my head on the chopping block--I need to know if you have it.”

“For fuck’s sake Harry,” she opens the door wider. “Just...come in.”

“You have it?” I step in eagerly and close the door behind me, basking in the warmth inside. It was a chilly spring evening.

“I haven’t touched it since I brought it home, I threw it somewhere in my room.”

“Didn’t it...have your employees’ personal items in it?” I ask cautiously.

“It’s not like they’re eager to have reminders of that day!” she snaps and I back down. She turns in a flourish of her robes and walks upstairs. She doesn’t say anything so I follow her up, drinking in every detail I can about her new life as we pass through.

She’s headed into her bedroom when her phone buzzes. I recognize her sister from the contact photo that takes up the screen. She glances at me, and back at the phone, making a decision.

“It’s beside the dresser, don’t make a sound or my sister will come here in record time to rip your head off.”

“I take it she doesn’t like me,” I try to joke.

“She’s not the only Y/L/N sister that doesn’t like you,” she puts a finger to her mouth and takes the call into the other room.

Maybe I should stop cracking jokes with Y/N, I think. It was clear she still hadn’t forgiven me. I was surprised she still held on as vehemently all these years later.

I head into her bedroom, a tidy and plain room. Compared to what I’d seen of her main floor, her bedroom looked like it belonged in a hotel. I spot the box almost immediately resting between a laundry hamper and her dresser. I pick it up but on the way back, the box on her bed catches my attention. The lid is half on, and I know I shouldn’t but something almost possesses my hand to nudge the lid aside. I stare and what’s inside the box sends me reeling; like I was seasick, but with both feet firmly on the ground. The feeling punches me directly into a past I’d abandoned. A future I abandoned too.

When Y/N finds me a few minutes later, I’m holding the shoes from the box in my hands. She stops beside me. I look to her and her face is frozen in fear, before it shuts down into anger--no, fury.

“What the fuck are you doing going through that?” she snatches the shoes out of my hand and picks the box up.

“Y/N,” I say gently. “What...what is all this?”

“Did you find your stupid box? Just--” her eyes search the room frantically and settles on the evidence box on the bed. She picks it up and shoves it into my chest. “Take it and go Harry, I don’t want t-to talk. To you. Please just--” her voice breaks.

“Okay I’ll go I just...” my heart feels heavier than lead and I want to say the perfect thing to her but nothing comes out. When she shoves me I scuttle out. I hear the sob that escapes her as soon as I exit into the hallway, I almost turn to go back in and offer comfort. But I couldn’t comfort her, not since the day I gave up on her. I walk to my car, not even relieved to have the evidence. I don’t know how long I sit in the car and think about the contents of that box: folded in neat piles were baby onesies, bibs, and a pair of tiny shoes. Remnants from a broken past, a broken promise.

I wasn’t an idiot, and I wasn’t heartless despite what Y/N thought. I know what my selfish actions did to her, I know how I’d fucked her up without meaning to. But it’s only now that the weight of it settles entirely on my shoulders. How many years has it been, and that small box of new onesies stayed under her bed. Her room might’ve looked sterile and fresh but its corners held heavier burdens than I thought were possible. A new feeling of shame blooms from within me, and it stays like a bad aftertaste.

***Y/N POV:

I was going to read that letter, find my closure, and burn everything from my past ceremonially in a bonfire, I think as I watch the trees in my backyard rustle with the morning wind. It had been a few days but I couldn’t even focus on him finding that box, the humiliation of watching him look up at me with confusion and pity...it was enough he’d broken my heart, but now he felt sorry for me too. I focus back on the greenery while my fingers toy with the letter that’d come in the mail, a few years late.

The envelope looked worse for wear but it was still as sealed as the day Harry had written it. I hesitate, trace my fingers over my name on the front. A memory comes rushing to me, Harry in my dorm writing silly things on my post-its and sticking it in places I wouldn’t find until he’d left. Like under my covers, or inside my closet door. They would be silly like

Y/N smells like farts

or cheesy like

have a terrific day

. I usually tossed them, other I’d tucked between classroom textbooks. I wonder what happened to them.

Finally, I work up the courage to slide my finger under the seal and break it open. Two pages fall out, his distinct writing halfway between cursive and chicken scratch covers both pages. I read:

Y/N

You’re probably wondering why you’re reading this--I don’t think I deserve your consideration for even a moment let alone for enough time it will take for you to read this. Yet I want so badly for you to read this, to just know I didn’t mean for this to happen to us. And I know you think I’m the one who did it to us, but I need to explain.

You always told me I was good with my words, that maybe I was an artist in another life--a poet you liked to say. But every time I try to find the right words to say to you, English may as well not be my first language. I should have tried harder, should have found the right words for months but I kept putting it off until it was too late.

You are and will always be my best friend first, Y/N, I know I’ve broken your trust but I care about you deeply. I just wasn’t happy. And that had to do with the road we were going down together, not you. I’m deeply sorry for the words I said that day, for how I’ve made you feel these last few months. I guess, ultimately, I was being selfish. And I don’t have an excuse for that. I fucked this up but I wasn’t happy and I was taking it out on you, and on us. I used the things we couldn’t have as an excuse, but I’m not happy where I am in my life. And that’s something I need to find; I need to figure out what I really want.

I can only hope we’ll circle back to each other one day, in the future, when we’re in better places. But I don’t think we were right like this, maybe it’s bad timing, or maybe there’s a blanket over us much too heavy for us to find comfort under. I’m sorry for leaving us like this and for breaking your trust but I need to do this.

Know you’re perfect as you are, right now, there’s absolutely nothing about you I would ever change. I, on the other hand, have a lot of changing to do.

I wish you nothing but the best, you deserve the whole bloody world Y/N, but I don’t think I can give that to you. I hope one day, you can find it in your heart to forgive me. For now, know I love you and I’m truly sorry.

Harry, xx

My finger brushes over the last line, I take myself back to the Y/N and Harry four years ago--and it’s not so hard to do. I lived there more often than I’d like to admit. But I picture us, I picture Harry sitting down to write this. How might I have taken this if I read it all those years ago? I picture myself dissolving into tears--maybe my sister was right in not showing me.

I also imagine I would have known why, and maybe I wouldn’t be where I was right now if I’d had that closure.

But even all these years later, the tears stream down my face as if it were just yesterday Harry handed the letter over to my protective sister. There was so much hurt and heaviness, looking at it from the perspective I had now...I see a glimmer of truth in Harry’s letter. We’d worked wonderfully as best friends, and our intimacy was comforting. But we were also two people being pulled in two directions while clinging onto what we thought would keep us happy. It didn’t mean I forgave him for what he did, how he did it. But I finally understood why.

All this time, I asked why--I wondered if there was something I could’ve done to have fixed it before he left. I see now, he’d wanted an out the whole time. Nothing would have fixed us except time apart. I still felt like shit, but this epiphany made me feel closer to the closure I needed. The light on the horizon grows a little brighter. We’d just had bad timing.

***

I feel bright and chipper Monday morning; a sunny morning and a weekend of closure could do that to a woman. I bring along with me a box of treats; it had been a week since the horrible robbery. We’d put some precautions in since, had the therapist stay a few more days, a few of the employees decided to transfer and as sad as I was to see them go I knew it was the right thing for them to do to feel better. As for myself, I forgot about it most of the time. But it would creep in every so often and freeze me up.

I spoke to the company’s therapist once more after Monday, she’d asked about Harry and I had told her about the letter. She was intrigued but quickly changed the topic to how I was feeling after the events of last Thursday.

“Y/N?” Adam walks into the staff room as I finish the note to accompany the treats. “What’s all this?”

“Treats to cheer everyone up! Not that sweet fried dough is going to erase everyone’s PTSD...” I try to make a joke but Adam’s face is tense like it’d been since that day. “Adam I’m teasing...have you um, have you talked to someone one-on-one?”

“Me? Why?” He jumps. “I’m fine, I’m alright it’s mostly out of my head anyway.”

“Hm,” I look him up and down. “I don’t believe you but I’ll let it drop...for now.”

He fidgets with his hands, “Anyway I came in here to let you know the detective on the case called first thing about returning some evidence-”

“I can’t pick that up.” I say finitely. “Do you have room today? Maybe take an extended lunch and pick that up?”

“From the station?” he stutters.

“Is that where he said it was?”

“Uh yeah, yes. He wanted you to pick it up.”

“Well DCI Styles won’t get what he wants for once, you’ll pick it up at lunch okay? Just keep me posted.”

I go back to my office with a coffee and get a crack on with my work. I check for any updates on the client from last Thursday but I continue to receive the automated email that their office was closed for the week. It was weird, but I just make a note to follow up later on.

After lunch, Adam appears shaken, with the evidence. I instruct him to leave it in the staff room and send out an email, making sure to remind them that they didn’t have to go through it if they didn’t want to. I would keep it there until it was cleared out, even if that took the month. I think about my scarf in there, the one used to tie my hands. I wanted to burn it, never see it again. I send Adam a quick email to remove it from the box and dispose of it.

H’s POV:

“This just doesn’t make any sense,” I comb my fingers through my hair, as if it might trick my brain into seeing the pattern here. “This same group’s hit four places total, and yet Y/N...the HSBC was the first. There’s got to be a connection there, it’s here but I just can’t see it.”

“Harry,” Detective Cole puts her hand on my shoulder briefly before moving it away. “Maybe you need a break, I don’t think I’ve seen you go home the last few days and your shirt’s a bit...ripe. Maybe take the rest of the day off?”

I sniff myself, she was right. She shrugs with a I had to say it look.

She was right too that I hadn’t gone home. I did almost nothing but focus on this case, not only because it was growing bigger by the day and I had pressure from upstairs. But it was a welcome distraction to the new guilt that seemed to jam every other area of my life.

It was almost like I was reliving a timeline, going back three or so years ago. It felt like Y/N and I were freshly broken up, and I was trying to pick myself back up from it. Except that’s not the way it went all those years ago--I’d moved on, quickly then. But now, time was catching up. Or maybe it was karma.

“Earth to Harry?” Cole waves her hand in front of my face. “You really should go home.”

“Yep,” I scratch my stubble. I should shave too. “I’ll just drop by evidence before I go.”

She looks like she was going to say something but she gets up from the chair beside my desk, and walks back to her own. I sigh, sifting through the files on my desk to take home with me. My notepad underneath shifts and I spot Y/N’s familiar writing: Y/N was here. I run my finger over it and smile, remembering how she had written that on the baseboard of every flat or dorm room we’d left. And just like that, the guilt and shame take the memory’s place. How the fuck was I supposed get past this and focus, I think.

I shove my files into a bag and head out. Evidence tells me there wasn’t a lot on the sim card but they were still trying. I ask for an email if anything comes to light, and go home where I fall asleep before my head hits the pillow.

i meant to take a short nap, but I wake at 4am and my mind’s buzzing with so many thoughts that I have nothing else to do but get up, eat a mashup of breakfast and last night’s dinner. With nothing more to do, and 6am creeping up, I decide to get in my car and drive while the roads were somewhat clear.

Driving helped me think sometimes, on my worst case after my promotion, I’d gotten on the road one night and driven all the way to Leicaster. After a night’s rest in a hotel and the drive back home, I’d cracked the case. But this time, with my thoughts racing, I end up driving to Y/N neighbourhood on autopilot. Maybe because she was on my mind, the guilt a constant companion since that day.

I park on the other side of her street, and watch her front door from the rearview. I don’t know why I was there, it felt ridiculous and creepy. Yet, I couldn’t leave. Maybe I could offer her a ride to work, I think. But I know she would decline because she didn’t even come in herself to collect her evidence. She’d sent her awkward assistant instead.

Her door suddenly opens, and a strange man walks out. She leans on the doorframe and laughs at something he says. He leaves a kiss on her cheek and walks away. She shouts something after him and he turns, saying something back that gets her laughing. My heart races, seeing her face in the distance wrinkle with laughter. I remember all the times I could get her to do that, effortlessly. The guilt returns tenfold.

He adjusts his coat, turning back around and she watches him fondly for a few seconds longer before closing her door. I’m suddenly irritated, immediately suspicious of this bloke. I watch, unblinking, until he turns the corner out of sight. Who was he? Her boyfriend?

I look at the time on the dashboard, 7:08am. I sit, indecisive for another half an hour. My thoughts churn: the robberies, the motives, Y/N, the worn out box with baby clothes, her male guest who’d spent the night, the look on her face when she’d woken up after her concussion and saw me: disbelief, anger, and sadness.

I get out of the stuffy car and walk across the street where I hesitate outside her door. I knew I was crossing a line, pushing a boundary she put up by not picking up the evidence herself. She’d made it clear what she wanted, but I never denied that I was a selfish bastard. I raise my hand, and knock.

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fic #harry styles angst #detective!harry #dci!harry #harry styles imagine #harry styles series #writingsfromhome #fic #au #harry styles x reader #oop this took a while to get out #but i'm so excited for pt3 #:)

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tchallasbabymama · 3 years

Text

Gone

Hey y’all, here’s Chapter 6 of Playlist. Check out my masterlist HERE to read the other chapters if you haven’t already, and check out my other stories too!

CW: alcoholism

Word count: 4894

Two months had passed and T’Challa was still not taking it well. He was still internalizing the guilt he felt for putting Ashanti in harm's way, and it was all he could think about. He felt numb most days, and when he felt anything at all it was grief over losing his love. Whenever he wasn’t working he hid away in his chambers, staring at the walls and playing sad music. Today his favorite song to wallow to was “Gone” by N*Sync. He laid across his bed sipping from a bottle of whiskey with the song playing on repeat as tears ran down his face.

There's a thousand words that I could say

To make you come home

Oh, seems so long ago you walked away

Left me alone

I remember what you said to me

You were acting so strange

and maybe I was too blind to see

That you needed a change

Was it something I said

To make you turn away?

To make you walk out and leave me cold

If I could just find a way

To make it so that you were right here

But right now..

I've been sitting here

Can't get you off my mind

I've tried my best to be a man and be strong

I've drove myself insane

Wishing I could touch your face

But the truth remains..

You're gone..

Baby you're gone

Girl you're gone, baby girl, you're gone..

You're gone..

You're…

He barely spoke to his family anymore. Not even N’Jadaka could get anything out of him on their occasional walks when he would visit from Oakland. The king was a steel trap of emotions, and nobody could get in. His cousin could tell something was off, and began to worry about his health so he and Shuri decided to confront him about it. They knew it wouldn’t go well, but they never expected him to insult their intelligence.

T’Challa had been able to hide his drinking from Queen Mother, but it was hard to get anything past the other two. N’Jadaka had seen friends go down a similar route and he knew the signs, and Shuri had overheard the kitchen staff talking about sending three bottles a night to the king’s chambers. When he was scheduled to leave for a mission with the Avengers she was scared out of her mind that he would get hurt, so right before he left she and her cousin confronted him. He lied to them, for the first time ever, and straight up denied the accusations. Shuri was hurt to her core knowing her brother was in such a bad way that he would stoop so low, but N’Jadaka expected his response. When he left they saw him off as usual, but Shuri broke down in her cousin’s arms after the Talon took off. Ramonda quickly became worried for both of her children when Shuri told her of the burden she had been carrying for her brother. They both internalized too much, and Ramonda had Shuri start therapy immediately. She also had a grief therapist and an addiction counselor on standby for T'Challa's return. She would be damned if she lost her son to his depression.

The Avengers had also noticed a change in T’Challa’s behavior, so much so that even Sam of all people was concerned for him. Thor had tried to lighten the king’s mood with their usual banter, but nothing changed. Wanda tried to regale him with her physics-defying powers to no avail, and Natasha couldn’t get anything out of him in their sparring sessions. Eventually Steve and Sam took it upon themselves to do something, Steve as a friend and Sam as a former counselor.

“Catman, let me holler at you real quick,” Sam interrupted T’Challa’s brooding on the couch. He rolled his eyes, but reluctantly got up anyway. Sam led him into the kitchen, where Steve was already seated at the large table. Sam pulled out a chair and turned it around before sitting and resting his forearms on the back.

“Ok, talk. You’ve been moping around the entire time you’ve been here and you’re bringing the energy down-”

“I think what Sam is trying to say is that we’re your friends and we can tell something is wrong... come on, man, you really think I haven’t picked up on your new drinking habit?” he asked in all honesty before trying to lighten the mood a little. “You know, for a cat, you’re not that sneaky.”

T’Challa closed his eyes and sighed. He had hoped nobody else would notice before he could get it together. When Shuri and N’Jadaka confronted him before he left he lied to their faces. He had never done that before, and as soon as the words left his mouth he was filled with shame and had to leave quickly to avoid them prying any more into it. When he looked out the window of the Talon after taking off he saw his baby sister break down in tears, and his heart broke. He decided then and there that he would stop drinking, but it didn’t exactly work out that way. Here he was, a month later and still no improvement. He was doing his best to keep it under wraps, but for once his best wasn’t good enough.

“Problems at home?...Is it about Ashanti? I haven't heard you mention her in awhile.” Steve continued, trying to get something out of him.

A lump formed in the king’s throat and he nodded before averting his eyes to the table.

“She left me.”

He proceeded to tell them the whole story and watched their faces twist in disbelief.

“Wow, that’s...wow,” Steve couldn’t believe it and his heart went out to both of them for what they went through and for what T’Challa is putting himself through now. “You know, for the longest time I blamed myself for what happened to Bucky. It ate me up inside, but you gotta let that stuff go, man. If not, you’re gonna start spiraling out of control, and nobody needs that.”

“He’s right, T.”

T’Challa and Steve looked at Sam in shock, he never referred to him by his name or anything close to it. It was always “Catman” or whatever cat joke he could come up with at the moment.

“You need to talk to someone before this gets worse,” Sam said in earnest.

He thought back to his mother’s words shortly before he left Wakanda, “I’m worried about you, unyana wam. You have not been your usual bright self.”

T’Challa sat forward, placing his elbows on the table. He decided then and there that he couldn't keep doing this to himself. He was a king, he was a warrior, he was a superhero for Bast’s sake. He couldn’t afford to be a drunken shell of himself anymore, it was going to start catching up to him. He couldn’t keep blaming himself.

“You’re right.”

-------

After the incident, Ashanti moved back in with her parents so they could care for her. Kwame and Binta were over all the time, and Shuri even made a visit to bring her the new pinky she made for her. It took some getting used to how it felt on her hand, but she eventually got the hang of it.

At first, Ashanti was scared to leave her parents’ home, so they found a therapist that made house-calls. It took some time for Ashanti to trust her, but eventually she did and Jamila was able to convince her to go outside for the first time in two months. They stayed in her parents backyard for a few sessions, before Jamila gradually got her to move further and further from the home. After about 6 months, she was able to go to the bazaar on her own. She still wasn’t up for running Taj’s, so she let her new employees Zina and Jafari handle it. So far they had been doing a great job and she wasn’t too worried about getting back to it just yet. She took some time to find herself again, painting for the first time in almost a year and spinning clay at her pottery wheel whenever she felt the need. She caught up on the books she had been meaning to read, and she slowly got back into the habit of running in the mornings.

Ashanti surprisingly had no problem with moving back into the house with Binta and Kwame. She missed the twins more than she could verbalize, but really did need her time away. Eventually, things went back to normal and it was almost as if the chapter of her life that included T’Challa never happened at all.

After a few months the twins pushed her to get back out there and she started dating a River tribe guy she met on her run one morning. She had tripped over a root and ended up falling flat on her face, but luckily another runner saw her fall and came over to help. He was a hot doctor named Zane. After he checked her ankle, he looked up and was captured by her beauty. He asked her out then and there, and three months later they’re still going strong. He was sweet, and smart, and funny, and all the things she wanted in a partner...but he didn't automatically know her favorite flower, and she didn't feel electricity from his touch. His kisses didn’t ignite a flame, just a little spark. He was a great lover, but the passion wasn’t there.

In short, Ashanti was faking it, but she was too scared to break his poor little heart.

Even her parents and roommates could tell she wasn’t really feeling Zane, so they sat her down to talk some sense into her.

“Why does this look like an intervention?” Ashanti joked when she walked into her kitchen and saw her family seated around the table, all looking up at her.

“Because it is, girl. Sit down.” Kwame pulled out the chair next to him and she tentatively took a seat.

“Sithandwa,” Bisa started , “you know we love you-“

“What’s this about?” she cut her off, nervous and ready to cut to the chase.

“Zane.” Binta and Kwame stated, matter of factly.

Ashanti knew what was coming. Each one of them had pulled her aside at some point to have what was sure to be the exact same conversation.

“Honey, you’re playing with that poor man’s heart. We can all see you don’t want him, he’s the only one who can’t.” Kwame reached out and grabbed her hand in his.

Ashanti sucked her teeth and rolled her eyes. She hated being called out on her bullshit, especially since it didn't happen often. She knew they were right though, she was wrong for stringing him along.

“He’s a good man, I know, but you both deserve to be with people who want you the way you want them,” Bisa added,

“I know,” Ashanti let out a sigh before hanging her head and collecting herself. “I know, I just- he’s a great guy so I just keep hoping he’ll grow on me. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Everyone seemed to look at each other out of the corners of their eyes without Ashanti noticing. They knew exactly what the problem was.

“Nothing is wrong with you, intyatyambo. You are just still in love,” Chidi cupped her face with his hand and she stared at him in shock.

“No, it’s been over a year. I’m past that now,” she tried to dead the conversation before it went somewhere she really wanted to avoid.

“Are you?” Binta asked. “Because everytime you see his hologram on the news you smile a little without even realizing it.”

“And don't forget when you ducked into a random bathroom and texted me panicking because you saw Dora Milaje in the bazaar and thought he might be there.” Kwame added.

“I-I just didn’t want to see him, that’s all.”

“Mhm, then how come when I called you were you primping in the mirror?”

“I was not!”

“Sis…” he gave her the look.

Ashanti hung her head again.

“Fine,” she gave in. She knew why she wasn’t feeling Zane and why her palms still started to sweat when she saw pictures or holograms of him and why her heart almost beat out of her chest that day in the bazaar. She still dreamed of him. Her body still responded to the thought of him. Hearing his voice still sent chills down her spine. She still loved him, but she never wanted to admit it.

“Fine?” Chidi asked as he and his wife shared a hopeful glance.

“Yes, fine, you’re right. Happy?” tears came to her eyes, and as hard as she tried to keep them from falling she eventually lost the battle. She hadn’t allowed herself to feel the loss after the breakup, and it was all catching up to her right there in front of her family.

She sobbed on Bisa's shoulder and Chidi wrapped them both in an embrace while Binta rubbed circles on Ashanti’s back and Kwame held her hand. All four of them were relieved to see her finally come to terms with her emotions. They had been concerned that she seemingly blocked out that whole chapter of her life, not sure if it was due to the trauma or the heartbreak or both. Her time in therapy had focused on getting her through the trauma of what happened to her, and barely even touched her breakup. All she had done was lock her feelings in the basement and throw away the key, but they were still there and just as strong as ever.

After a few minutes Ashanti pulled herself together and looked at the people around her.

“I love you all so much,” she was able to get out through her tears and snot. Chidi grabbed some tissue and wiped her face.

“We love you too,” they all responded.

_______

After that day, Ashanti found herself thinking about T’Challa a little more than usual...ok a lot more than usual. Everything she saw reminded her of him, and it was starting to weigh on her. She still felt the same way about being with him, but she missed him more than she could say. Eventually she got the idea to give him a call. She talked herself out of and back into the idea for several weeks, and one day just said “Fuck it” and pressed his contact on her beads. She never got around to deleting it.

The trilling sound that followed filled her with dread. What if he didn’t pick up? What if she’s blocked or he changed his beads?

She didn’t have time to go too far down that rabbit hole because the trilling stopped and her ex boyfriend appeared in the palm of her hand. They both stared at each other in silence before T’Challa spoke.

“Miss Ashanti, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

She was saddened by his formality but stunned by the smoky timbre of his voice. She had missed it so much.

“H-hi, how are you?”

“I am well, how are you?”

“I’m doing ok.”

“Just ok?”

“Yeah, just ok…” Ashanti trailed off, leading to a long silence between the two.

“Ashanti, is there something you need?”

“Oh, um, no not really. I just-,” she sighed, “You crossed my mind a couple times and something told me to reach out so I did.”

A small smile appeared on the king’s face.

“Just a couple times? I’m disappointed.”

She laughed, a sound he hadn’t had the pleasure of hearing in over a year, forcing his crooked smile to grow larger.

“Ok maybe a few times,” she said, while smiling back.

“But seriously,” her voice softened, “how are you T’Challa?”

The hairs on the back of his neck stood up when she said his name, but he wasn’t surprised she still had that effect on him since it happened every time he thought of her. He wanted to answer her honestly, he really did, but he couldn't bring himself to tell her about his drinking problem and stint in rehab a few months ago. He went back and forth on the decision for a few moments before making up his mind.

“I am well now, it has been an uphill battle.”

“I know what you mean,” Ashanti replied before they both just stared at each other in silence for a moment. “Well, I um, I know you're busy, and I didn’t really want anything so I don’t want to keep y-”

“We’re going to be late, baby,” Ashanti was cut off by a gorgeous woman in a red dress entering the room behind T’Challa. She hadn’t even noticed that he was talking to anyone, barely looking up from her beads as she walked back out of the room. T’Challa cleared his throat.

“Unfortunately you caught me at a bad time, tonight-”

“That’s ok! Uh, have fun!” she panicked and ended the call.

“Why would you just hang up like that?” she asked herself out loud before flopping back onto her bed.

After that embarrassment, she doesn't know if she’ll ever be able to talk to him again. Of all the different ways she imagined that conversation going she never accounted for the fact that he could have already moved on to someone else. She knew it was selfish and hypocritical since she had been with Zane, but something about the idea of him with anyone else made her blood boil and tears come to her eyes. She let a couple fall before getting up and going on about her day.

Late that night as she laid in bed scrolling through her social media she came across an article about the king’s 30th birthday celebration on the 9th. It was open to the public, and for a moment she considered going, but then she remembered the silky, high pitched voice emanating from behind T’Challa and decided against it. She’d rather not have to feel that embarrassment in public. Ashanti shut off her beads and closed her eyes, letting sleep take her for the night.

-------

The drummers were extra hype today, playing their hearts out as all of Wakanda danced and celebrated their king’s birthday. As they partied into the early morning T’Challa spent the whole time glued to his girlfriend Tamala, the Mining tribe princess. She had a habit of being clingy and wouldn’t allow anyone else to steal a dance. Around 1 in the morning, he had finally had enough and excused himself to go to the restroom. Making his way out of the venue, he caught the eye of someone he hadn’t seen in a long time.

“Kwame?”

“My king,” he saluted T’Challa, but he waved him off.

“Please, you know me.”

“Better safe than sorry. Happy birthday man!”

“Thank you, thank you. Are you here alone?” T’Challa’s eyes scanned the crowd.

“No, I'm here with the usual people,” Kwame said, smirking in the king’s direction.

“So Ashanti is…”

“Over in the back corner avoiding you and the aggressive supermodel on your arm,” he took a sip of his rum punch.

“I can understand that,” the king and Kwame stood there awkwardly, not knowing how to continue the conversation. “It was good seeing you Kwame.”

“You too!”

The two quickly parted ways and Kwame ran straight to his friends at the table they had commandeered in the back. He sat down on Omar’s lap and told Ashanti of his interaction with the king, leaving out that he told him where to find her. Ashanti noticed Omar’s hands make their way around Kwame’s waist and she wished she could feel the king’s arms around her like that one more time.

“I knew I shouldn't have come here, why did I let you two talk me into this? He has a girlfriend already.”

“Because your man knows how to throw a damn party!” Binta slurred a little, very obviously teetering between tipsy and drunk. Ashanti rolled her eyes at her ‘your man’ comment but agreed, looking around at all the happy partygoers. She sighed, wishing she could enjoy herself like they were.

On his way to the restroom T’Challa was stopped by not one, not two, but three separate elders commenting on how good he and Tamala looked together and asking about marriage plans. T’Challa knew the council was anxious for him to get married and produce heirs, but no matter how much he wanted to, he just couldn’t see it with Tamala. She had everything he was looking for, but she was missing a special something. More like she’s not that special someone. She’s not her.

For the rest of the night, T’Challa avoided the elders and slyly kept his eye on Ashanti and her friends. He was mesmerized by her colorful curve-hugging jumpsuit and her natural hair that had grown much longer in the year they’d been apart. Her shoulders seemed to glow and her deep purple lipstick drew his eyes to her lips. His eyes travelled down her body, noticing that she had kicked off her shoes and he smiled fondly, remembering her disdain for heels. She looked up and caught him staring more than once, but he just couldn't stop. Everytime she caught him she’d quickly look away, too embarrassed to hold his gaze. His staring angered Tamala who also caught him staring more than once.

“Do you know her?” Tamala asked with an attitude, standing in his line of vision. T’Challa rolled his eyes because he sensed another argument coming. Tamala was a lot of wonderful things, but jealousy was her worst quality, hands down. He had never been one to have a wandering eye when he was with a woman, so normally her jealousy annoyed him to no end. However, this time he understood where she was coming from.

“Yes, I do. She’s an old friend.”

“A ‘friend’ huh? Do you think I’m stupid?”

“Tamala, please, not here. This is a celebration, try to be happy. For me, please.”

The Mining tribe princess rolled her eyes and stormed off, shoulder checking Prince N’Jadaka on the way.

“Yo, me and your girl are gonna fight fight one of these days. Like, for real,” he said as he walked up to his cousin.

T’Challa chuckled as he sipped some more of his non-alcoholic ginger beer.

“Let's go for a walk in the gardens,” he requested and the prince obliged. N’Jadaka pulled out a pre-roll and lit the tip, passing it to his cousin. “She’s upset because Ashanti is here.”

“Oh! She is, huh? Interesting...I’m surprised she showed.”

“I’m not,” he handed the blunt back to the prince, “she called me the other day. It was a very short conversation but...I still felt something and I think she did too. She looks good, really good. She asked how I had been but I couldn't really tell her the truth... She seems like she’s gotten so much better since the last time I saw her.”

The two walked in silence for a couple minutes passing the blunt back and forth before N’Jadaka broke the silence.

“So you still love her?”

T’Challa didn’t even have to hesitate.

“Of course, I never stopped.”

---------

The next day, Ashanti and her roommates were all laying in the living room nursing hangovers while they half watched an old classic Wakandan movie. Ashanti was sick to her stomach, but she couldn't tell if it was from the alcohol or the sappy love story she was forced to watch. After it was over, Binta pulled up the news and right as the meteorologist finished explaining the upcoming weather patterns, a huge picture of T’Challa and Tamala kissing took over the screen. Bile rose in her stomach as Binta scrambled to change the channel. Before she could, Ashanti heard the anchor say the very words she dreaded hearing, “Could there be a royal engagement on the horizon?”

Binta turned the hologram off altogether, and the three of them sat in silence for a while until Kwame couldn’t take it anymore.

“Are you ok?”

“I will be, it’s just rough right now. I’m happy he found somebody though, they look happy.”

Neither twin wanted to pry so they left it at that and changed the subject to food.

“I’m hungry, but I don’t feel like cooking.” Binta said in a huff, throwing herself back into the couch..

“Mood,” Kwame and Ashanti replied.

“Ooh how about I grab some food from my parents? They’ve been wanting me to stop by,” Ashanti offered.

“Bast bless you, my child.” Binta grabbed her hand and kissed it.

Ashanti threw her shoes on and was out the door in no time flat. She needed to get out of the house and clear her head. They looked so happy…

She was on autopilot when she reached the restaurant, barely even shooting a glance towards Taj’s before immediately heading back home. Chidi and Bisa could tell there was something bothering her, but chose not to pry.

Almost a week passed by with her being forced to see the new “it” couple everywhere she turned. It was starting to get to her so she called Jamila for a session, which turned into Ashanti seeing her on the regular. After a couple more months she no longer felt weighed down by her seemingly unrequited feelings for T’Challa and was genuinely ready to move on. She even downloaded a dating app on her beads and started meeting new people. Nothing really came of it, but she enjoyed herself nonetheless. Ashanti threw herself back into work, mostly focusing on her commissions while her employees handled Taj’s. Princess Shuri had spread the word about the artist after she received her necklace and since then Ashanti’s business had been booming. Everybody from farmers to nobility was knocking down her door for a custom piece. She even made a necklace for Shani, Chieftess of the Jabari. thAll was going well in Ashanti’s life and her therapy sessions were working, so when she saw the news of the royal engagement she allowed the grief to wash over her before shaking it off and going on about her day. On the other side of Birnin Zana, King T’Challa sighed as he watched the media coverage. He knew she was out there somewhere having to see it and he pushed back against the feeling of guilt that often tried to overcome him. He had to do it, though. He had been pushing the council to allow immigration into Wakanda and they just wouldn’t budge, just like he hadn’t budged on the issue of betrothal. It wasn’t until he announced to them that he had plans to marry Tamala that the council started to see things his way. This way everybody would be happy. He would be able to open up Wakanda more to the Lost Tribe, and they would have a queen and hopefully, soon after, an heir to the throne. A week later the news leaked to the press somehow and it quickly became all anyone could talk about.

During his weekly visits to the Merchant tribe T’Challa tended to avoid the Bazaar for fear of running into Ashanti, but this time he decided to venture in. People greeted him as he walked through, perusing the merchandise, and stopping periodically to chat. This is why he loved coming there, everyone was always so cheerful and bright. He had crouched down to talk to a nine year old girl who wanted his attention, and on his way back up he saw a woman in a purple headwrap walking out of a storefront, going in the opposite direction. He would’ve recognized that walk anywhere. T’Challa wanted to call out to her, but didn’t want to embarrass her or start a scandal. He watched her turn the corner and disappear from his sight. The king said goodbye to the little girl and her baba before heading off in the same direction she went, almost leaving his Doras in the dust. When he rounded the corner he stopped abruptly at the absolute vision staring right back at him. She was in shock, obviously not expecting to run into her newly engaged ex.

“T’Challa, h-hi.”

“Hi,” he said back, wanting to kick himself for not being more articulate.

“Um, congratulations on your engagement. I saw the news, well, everywhere.”

“Oh, uh, Thank you.”

“What brings you down here?”

“Just my usual weekly rounds.”

“Oh yeah, I remember those.” She smiled at the memory and his heart thumped a little louder in his chest at the sight. “You always looked forward to Mondays just for that…”

“I still do.”

They both awkwardly stood there, neither one of them saying what’s on their mind.

“Well, I uh, I have to go open up the store. I’ll see you around T’Challa.”

There was so much that he wanted to say, but he just couldn’t get it out. Being in her presence again after so long had him freezing up, something he never did.

She saluted him and winked before turning around and heading towards Taj’s. He couldn’t help but watch her hips twitch as she walked away and something told him she knew he was watching. She did.

Next Chapter

Taglist:

@maddeningmayhem, @theblulife

#cecewritessometimes #black panther fic #t'challa x oc #t'challa #playlist #black!oc

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breanime · 4 years

Note

Bre’s boys when their pregnant wife asks for food at 2am. I feel Ike this would be me...

Billy Russo: “Yeah, I’ll pick it up one the way home.” Billy works erratic hours, so he’s usually still out and about when your cravings kick in. He doesn’t mind getting your weird snacks or meals because that means he has an excuse to go home and be with you.

Logan Delos: He sighs and mumbles and complains, but Logan always gets up and gets you what you want. Your cravings are so well-timed, his internal clock wakes him up right before you do, so he’s already sitting up, rubbing his eyes when you whine that you want a hot dog covered in jelly beans.

Jax Teller: Absolutely abuses his power as a patched SAMCRO member and makes the prospects get your food. He takes full credit for it, too. “Here you go, darlin’, I got it super sized for you.”

Coco Cruz: Coco complains, but he also makes sure you know that he’ll never actually say no to you. “Man, if I was on a run, I wouldn’t be able to do this shit...I mean, I’d probably have Leticia do it, but still...”

Angel Reyes: Orders your food, still groggy, and gets himself something too. He jokes that he gets cravings too, so if you’re eating at 2 in the morning, then so is he, dammit!

Miguel Galindo: Not at all a problem for Miguel. He has a 24-hour chef on retainer and a host of employees who go get your food. He does, however, stay up with you while you eat, usually telling you how much he adores you as he rubs your feet, which leads to slow, soft sex....he has this whole 2 am cravings thing down to a science.

Nick Amaro: Nick would 100% prefer to go out and get your food then to have you do it. He doesn’t mind at all, and you’re so cute and thankful, your smile as you swallow down an obscene amount of food makes it all worth it to him.

Johnny Tuturro: “Damn, ma,” he sighs, getting up and pulling his pants on, “again? We gotta get you on some kind of snacking schedule.” He complains, but Johnny goes out and gets you what you want, and even tries some of your weird food combos as he watches you eat.

Rio: If he’s working late, he’ll have one of his most trusted guys deliver the food to you along with a handwritten love note from him. If he’s home, he gets up, kisses you, and goes out into the dark to get your what you want. Rio brings you food when he comes home late, even if you haven’t asked yet because he knows...you will.

*******************************************************************************************

Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think!

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#Billy Russo x reader #logan delos x reader #jax teller x reader #coco cruz x reader #angel reyes x reader #miguel galindo x reader #nick amaro x reader #johnny tuturro x reader #rio x reader #bre's boys #bre's boys preferences

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thisisyournarratorspeaking · 2 years

Text

January 16, 2022.

faith.

It’s a pretty damn lonely journey and not just because we’re in a pandemic.

It’s not as simple as telling him, “I wish you could be happy for me.”

maintenance.

Right now it’s about getting calories, nothing much more complex than that. This morning I bought more nuts and dried fruits. Some are for Tu B’Shevat tomorrow and most are for low-effort snacking. I also signed up for a half marathon in late spring; it’ll be the longest distance I’ve ever run and therefore will require Actual Training.

(I’ve just remembered an unfinished poem titled “Holy Penance on the Treadmill.” I made notes for it when I was depressed in college and holy fuck, I’m really looking forward to someday rooting out the internalized belief that ‘suffering = worthiness, you gotta earn good things’ and throwing that whole stupid mindset in the trash. In the meantime the reasons I’m using to justify the half are a) exercise is supposed to help, b) I need excuses to get out of bed in the mornings, and c) me running a half will make a friend of mine very happy.)

Doctor’s appointment: Done. Next up: Therapy. Hoping to schedule two more appointments for various things in February with the hope that by then examinations and whatnot will be marginally safer.

people.

I want to want to date, but I don’t.

My coworkers laughed in sympathy when I said, “I’m really enjoying this pandemic in the middle of my twenties, it’s doing wonders for my social life!” And...yeah. There are much better reasons to be pissed off about everything. My small grievance – among other grievances – is I felt like my life was on hold after college. Hitting the play button would be possible after I got a master’s degree, got a job, moved out of my parent’s house. I’ve checked all those things off and now it’s like, “Ah, a global pandemic! Great time to socialize.”

This isn’t to say I’m not trying. I am! I’m just grumbling the whole way through.

A friend from high school tweeted about dealing with guys who don’t respond: “I’m sought after, I don’t seek.” I’m amused by and a little envious of how easily he claims that stance.

Someone strange and delightful thinks I’m fun and cool. They offered me their phone number. What the heck (in a good way).

responsibilities.

Have been low-key ghosting the organizing group – there’s often not enough time and energy on Fridays to take an hour out of my work day (which has to be made up elsewhere), plus conflicts. I might want to step back and offer financial support instead of time.

Then I could focus more on the professional group, where the responsibilities are only going to increase this year. (I still want to get that book group started.)

making stuff.

Another chapter of the more-autobiographical-than-not fic up. Today I gotta write a short essay; tomorrow I’m hoping to work on the other fic.

I had a joint writing blog with an online friend in high school and early college. He had a Penzu journal, clocked a million or more words in it regularly, was a minimalist and a writer. We wrote letters back and forth. I’m not the best at regular commitments and it petered out. As far as I know he’s off Tumblr (good for him, I hope he’s doing well).

Anyway, he’s who I thought of when reading the Spork literary magazine change log. It’s the closest thing I’ve found to news on Richard Siken’s work and well-being. Who the heck knows what happened to Blue Jupiters (Copper Canyon Press, 2021)?

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nahimjustfeelingit-writes · 4 years

Text

Imagine:

Warnings: Smut, fluff, quarantine bae

This is a short imagine, Enjoy!

“Goodmorning!!”

Y/N walks into the Physical Therapy office with a glow that could put the sun to shame and a bright white smile that lit up her face like Christmas lights. She sanitized her hands at the front desk before walking further into the office, saying Goodmorning to Miss Kim who usually doesn’t speak but Y/N’s chipper attitude must have rubbed off on her. Y/N looks up and notices a sign posted on the desk window saying:

Please Wash Your Hands Before Checking In For Your Appointment!

“Let’s see if our patients actually abide by that today,” Y/N was thankful that the place was empty for now. All of the exam room curtains were drawn and the exercise equipment sat neatly in a corner. Y/N made it to the check in desk for appointments, walking around and dropping her purse on the empty chair beside her. Humming, Y/N takes off her windbreaker jacket, fluffing out her braid-out. She has on a scrub set with flowers on the top in pretty spring colors.

Y/N jumps straight into work, placing the clipboard for signing in at the top of the desk. There were medical files for the patients that were scheduled to come in today neatly piled in front of her. They were expecting at least 20 people. Some came for therapy because of a motor vehicle accident, others because of work related injuries. Sanitizing again, Y/N takes her seat, sighing because her legs felt like jello and her ankles reminded her of Bambi taking his first steps.

The reason for her happiness and muscle spasms is because of her man; Erik. Being home for the past two weeks meant two times the dick she was already receiving. She woke up with an attitude because he left the toilet seat up and basically used up all of her exfoliating scrub that she used for her pum-pum. In the middle of his snoring, Y/N barged back into the room, water dripping from her brown skin with her shower cap on her head. She picked up her pillow and started beating Erik out of his sleep....

Hour and a half ago:

“Get yo’ ass up!” Y/N yelled like a mad women while beating Erik with her pillow, “GET UP!”

Erik simply rolled over on his belly. All she could see now was his durag and muscular back.

“You think I’m playing,” Y/N yanked the covers from his body exposing his Under Armour briefs in navy blue. Y/N starts whipping Erik’s ass with her tiny hand. Erik’s hips start swiveling from side to side. He grunts angrily, his hand coming up and behind him to roughly smack her hand away.

“Erik GET UP! Why did you use up half of my exfoliating scrub?! I just bought this stuff and it ain’t cheap!”

“Girl...you waking me up out of my sleep because of some scrub?” Erik flips his body over to lay on his back. Rubbing his eyes, Erik mumbles to himself before completely sitting up. Bags under his eyes and a scowl on his face, Erik shakes his head at her, using all of his restraint to not grab Y/N up off her feet.

“That scrub, I spent my money on. I have to go to work I’m already frustrated that they have these offices open with this virus going around and here you go pissing me off further,” Y/N throws her hands up, ready to walk away but then she remembered the toilet seat, “And another thing, what’s your problem with closing the toilet? I don’t want my ass falling in the toilet, Erik.”

“Did you close it?” He asks with a glint in his eyes and a groggy voice.

“Yes, I did, what’s your point?”

“Then it shouldn’t be a big deal. You went pee-pee, get over it,” Erik fell back in bed, bringing the covers to his chin, “All loud for nothing I’m TIRED. Take that noise somewhere else.”

“Fucking asshole,” Y/N lifts her leg to the bed, kicking Erik hard. Erik sat up again, his pectorals jumping and his biceps flexed and ready to attack. Y/N stood her ground, unbothered with Erik’s wrathful expression.

“Kick me again. Gon’ head...”

“Erik, I don’t have time for this-“

“Oh, no, you do. The time you spent in here yelling at me your shower could have been finished. Just hurry up and get the fuck outta here so I can sleep.”

“Just know, I’m not making that baked Mac and cheese for you tonight!”

“You’re so simple acting! Damn,” Erik covers his head with a pillow. Things were silent for only two seconds before Erik removes the pillow from his face, sitting up in bed again. Fuming, Erik kicks the covers from his body like a child having a temper tantrum, getting out of the bed and heading toward the bathroom.

“See, look what you did, girl! Now I gotta piss!” Hot-tempered, Erik lifts the toilet seat Damn near breaking it, “I should take a shit too have this whole bathroom lit up while you’re in there!”

“Erik, DONT play with me. I don’t need to be smelling your toxic fumes,” Y/N was in the middle of cleaning her pussy, “Wait a minute...”

Y/N pulls the shower curtain back, peeking her head out with a disgusted look on her face. Erik simply laughs, a good hearty laugh with his hand clutching his chest.

“Did you just fart?” Y/N says while cover her nose.

“Duh, I ain’t shit on myself,” Erik flushes the toilet, going to the sink to wash his hands and brush his teeth, “finish washing up, funky butt.”

“I’m not the one with the funky ass, smelling like you ate a whole can of beans-“

“Aight, then scoot over I’m coming in-“

“NO!” Y/N shouts, “No, I don’t want you in here I’m still pissed with you.”

“Girl, get over that shit,” Erik takes off his briefs, “I’m getting in there fuck you talking bout.”

“UGHHH,” Y/N rinses her body off, trying to ignore Erik’s rock hard body pressed against hers.

Of course, Erik couldn’t help himself when his hand came down to smack Y/N’s ass, “Get loud on me again and ima fuck you up.”

“Erik move back and take a shower,” Y/N rolled her eyes, “When you going back to work?”

Erik howled, his laugh so loud in Y/N’s war she clinched.

“I’m getting on your nerves that much, Damn...you wasn’t saying all of that when I fucked you all those times.”

“I know, I’m still questioning my morals-“

“Then as soon as I do go back to work you’ll start acting up again apologizing in my ear about why you’re acting the way you are,” Erik leans down to speak into Y/N’s ear, “I’m sorry baby, I just miss the dick,” He says trying to mock her voice.

Y/N stood quiet, no response because she knew he was right. She wanted to be mad at him so much but that’s her baby. Erik smiles evilly at her reaching down to grab her chin, turning her head in an uncomfortable position since her back was turned to him.

“You dont acting up?”

“But I was never-“

“You done?” Erik repeats himself.

“.....yeah.”

“Pass me my soap...get in that bedroom and arch your back I want some pussy.”

“Babe,” Y/N says with a pout.

“Take your lil ass in there!”

“Okay but why are you yelling?” Y/N was ready to give him more attitude but she changed her mind at high-speed when she saw the fiery look in his eyes. Y/N left the shower, not even bothering to dry off. She arched her body on the edge of the bed, little booty tooted in the air, cool air on her pussy.

“This nigga is about to destroy my whole body,” Y/N says to herself, waiting patiently with her chin resting on her folded arms, eyes studying the pattern of the sheets on their bed. Y/N couldn’t complain, she finally got Erik to be consistent after dealing with his “I don’t do relationships” mess. Consistency will get Y/N to give her pussy up whenever he said so. Consistency will get his dick sucked like it was dipped in chocolate.

Just when Y/N was daydreaming, the feeling of her pussy being licked from the back down knocked her senseless. Erik was enjoying his meal while jerking his dick. His noxious tongue thrashing almost stroked Y/N unconscious. He was eating her like he hadn’t eaten all quarantine. His belly would be gratefully filled with her syrupy essence.

Erik squeezes Y/N’s smaller yet round booty, before spitting on her pussy from the back, leaning back to admire his canvas, “I plan on smashing these lil cakes to smitherines, girl,” Erik went back to licking her up.

“Aight, bae, you gotta stop,” Y/N couldn’t handle his tongue so early in the morning. Her thighs started to close but Erik held them open while using the strength of his neck to eat her pussy.

Y/N’s hand found the top of Erik’s head. She mushes him away, her body slacken. Erik hit her ass for moving his head away, “Ima give you a nasty ass slow kiss when I’m finished so you can taste how good this pussy taste...don’t mush me again, Y/N.”

“Fuck!” Y/N didn’t listen, her body twisting and her hand swiping the air. Erik was purposefully scooting his head away while torturing her clit with his sucking.

“Okay, ZADDY SHIT!” Y/N tried to stay still but the way he was slurping all over her pussy made that unfeasible, “SHIT! I wanna tap out...”

“Uh-uh,” Erik wasn’t letting go.

“Okay...okay...fuckkkkkkkk...let go of my clit MOTHERFUCKER!!!!! GODDD!!!!”

Y/N started shaking, crying, squealing. Erik’s hands wrapped around her thighs, keeping her in place so he could continue sucking the life out of her clit. When she was finished feeding Erik her cum, Erik’s wet face reappears.

“Got you out of your lil mood, didn’t I?” Erik and his hard ten inches were ready to impale Y/N’s dripping cunt, “Come on girl, toot that ass up I’m tryna get in there.”

“Daddy just shut up and fuck me now because I know I’m not gonna be able to walk after this-“

“Then toot that motherfucking ass UP. You know the drill, get in position.”

Y/N arched her back more, breathing slow as she waited with anticipation. Erik didn’t warn her when he was about to stuff his dick inside of her pussy when he was trying to punish her. Squeezing her hands into fists, Y/N waited as her pussy convulsed.

“Babe-“

Erik purposely waited for her to speak so that he could put all of him inside of her. Y/N’s entire body crawled away from him, his dick leaving her pussy. Erik grabbed her ankles, pulling her back with force. Y/N was slapping Erik’s hands away but he was stronger. Each time she tried to crawl away Erik would drag her back like she was a damn doll.

“Where you going? Don’t run,” Erik held Y/N’s hips in place his dick back inside of her pussy like it never left. Maybe it was because it was early in the morning but she couldn’t take his back shots. His dick was constantly stroking her G spot and he was so deep that Y/N could feel it in her chest. Y/N was talking mad shit so now Erik had to show out in her pussy. Erik was beating up Y/N’s pussy. Long, hard, and deep strokes. Erik leans forward, one of his hands on her head while his hips stroked her pussy at a tempo Y/N knew was meant for her to be made an example of.

“Okay,” Y/N felt herself read to cum already. Erik’s hand on her head to hold her in place was so deathly Y/N kept her mouth shut the rest of the time. Her lips trembled and her eyes leaves hot tears from the way he bruised her G spot.

“Stay crying for big dick but wanna run from it,” Erik says calling her out, “You don’t get to run this is what you ask for.”

Y/N wanted to say she didn’t ask for this but her body was saying other wise. The intensity of the sensation was so overwhelming she didn’t care that he ordered her to arch her back. Now, her pussy was creaming. Erik was juicing her peach. She felt the wettest out of all the times they had sex. Maybe it was because he was the angriest he’s ever been. Maybe Y/N should act like a brat or a bitch more for him to fuck her like this.

“Lil booty freak taking Daddy beating this nut deep inside your pussy from the back...laying there letting Daddy take this pussy...Lil ass like it when Daddy bring this pussy back hard on this dick, huh?”

“Oh my God-“

“Just keep still while I drill this nut deep...fuckkkkkk...I can see now yo’ ass Gon’ end up with a baby growing in you with all this fucking. Can’t even count how many times my nut been up in this tight ass pussy.”

“Daddy, oh my God-“

“I don’t care either I’m nutting all in this pussy-“

“Unh, shittttt...fuck me!”

“I got you-“

“Take this sweet little pussy-“

“I’m taking my sweet little pussy”

Y/N screamed.

“Got that pussy hitting right with that ass matching these strokes...ahhhh fuck, hold still I’m about to nut....

“Wassup itty-bitty!”

Y/N sat up nice and tall after being brought out of her daydream. Clarence, one of the other Physical Therapists was nibbling on an orange while standing next to her. He peeked over her shoulder, seeing if she was occupied with something since he called her like five times.

“You Aight over here?”

“...yeah,” Y/N looked over the desk to find two patients waiting to be seen, “Did they just come in?”

“Yeah, a little after I did.”

Y/N noticed both patients. One was a middle aged women who was involved in a pedestrian accident with a car. She was jogging when a car backed up and hit her. The other patient was a young women around early 20’s who had severe back pains from a bus accident.

“I like your scrubs,” Clarence says while studying the floral patterns.

“Thanks,” Y/N gives Clarence a smile. Clarence smiles back, sure to show off his dimples just like her man except Clarence doesn’t have deep dimples. He’s 6’0, and from Ghana. All of the ladies loved Clarence. Y/N knew that he was feeling her even when she told him on multiple occasions that she has a man. His persistence wouldn’t let up.

———-

Things were steady and getting the patients in and out was a breeze. Y/N’s belly was currently growling and she instantly wished she’d at least brought in a snack to hold her over. Y/N planned on buying lunch from a carry out within the shopping center of the office. It was the perfect time to go grab something to eat before patients start piling up again. Clarence is currently wiping down a room that was recently used.

“Still with that boyfriend, Y/N?” He asks casually while spraying down an exam table. He asked her like he wanted to know what the weather was like. Y/N dreaded the day he would ask her that again.

“Yes, Clarence,” Y/N chuckles, “And I don’t plan on leaving him.”

“Why hasn’t he put a ring on your finger yet? It’s hard to find good girls like you. What is waiting on?”

“There is no rush,” Y/N grabs a pen to finish writing information into a patients report. Just before she could close her file, Y/N’s phone vibrated. Glancing at it, Y/N could see that Erik was currently sending her texts.

I’m bored

Well do something productive like reading a book instead of playing video games.

Just when Y/N flips her phone over so she could go back to work, another text comes through, most likely from Erik again.

I’m about to call you.

Before Y/N could tell him anything otherwise Erik was FaceTiming her. Y/N rolls her brown eyes before answering the FaceTime. Clarence was talking to another coworker of there’s so Y/N didn’t need to worry about anyone eavesdropping. Y/N answers the FaceTime, her heart fluttering because of the dick down Erik gave her before work. Staring at the screen, Erik was still in his sleep wear with a durag on his head. His controller was in his lap and from the pout on his lips and the puppy dog eyes Y/N could tell that being cooped up in the house and away from Y/N for at least three more hours is killing him.

“Ooooh, I like you’re hair, Miss lady, can I pull it from behind?”

Y/N looked around her to make sure no one heard it, “Yes, You can ZADDY. Just as long as you’re gentle this time around. I like tender love and care too.”

“So you rather go oooh and ahhhh then Unh and Fuck when you’re crying and drooling and begging to cum-“

“Erik, SHHHHHH,” Y/N tried not to laugh, “Babe, it may be dead at this place right now but I am on the clock.”

“My bad, ma-“

“Itty-bitty, lets go get some lunch,” Clarence stood at the desk like a patient waiting to be checked in. She hadn’t heard his footsteps and honestly she wished she did.

“...Who?” Erik says through the FaceTime, his face all scrunched up with confusion.

“Is that the boyfriend?” Clarence brings his face into the camera, “sup’ boyfriend, I’m Clarence.”

Erik was stone faced looking at Terrence. Y/N was holding her breath, unable to look at her phone because she knew her man was pissed off.

“Who is itty-bitty?” Erik finally says. Clarence caught wind of his abrasive tone, backing away from the camera, “Just a nickname, brother, my fault.”

“Only nigga giving my girl a nickname is me.”

Y/N cleared her throat loudly, “Okay, babe! I’ll talk to you when I get home, okay? Love you,” Y/N gave Erik smooches, not sticking around to hear him argue before hanging up.

“Damn, yo’ man is nothing but a hot- head-“

“And you don’t know when to sit back. I was on the phone with my man, if I wanted your attention, I could have gotten it.”

“Chill, itty-bitty,” Clarence was tickled by how bothered Erik was, “Shit, he ain’t playing about you is he?”

Y/N flat out ignores Clarence, standing up from the desk and grabbing her bag. While Clarence laughed and joked about Erik Y/N pumped hand sanitizer into her hand before walking off. In her scrub top pocket her phone was going off the hook. Y/N knew not to ignore his constant texts. Y/N pulled out her phone, her heart in her throat

Do I gotta come up there?

Who the fuck is that nigga?

Don’t let no other nigga put his face in your phone again. That’s disrespectful.

Y/N answer my texts. Do I gotta come up there?

The fuck is itty bitty? I don’t like that shit.

Panicky, Y/N calls Erik before exiting the office.

“Babe?” Y/N says with caution.

“Don’t babe me. Who the fuck is Clarence?”

“My coworker-“

“Where are you?”

Y/N chewed on her bottom lip nervously, “Erik...why?”

“Because I’m coming up there. And what’s up with this itty bitty shit? You let him call you that?”

“I don’t he just does it-“

“You need to correct that nigga, matter of fact-“

Y/N could hear Erik moving around in the background, probably putting on his jordans uncaring of the fact that he was wearing loose fitted basketball shorts with his dick swinging.

“Babe, I know you’re not coming up here to my job,” Y/N says with a shaky voice, “Babe stay home.”

“Nah, I’m coming up there. He gon’ need physical therapy once I’m done breaking his goddamn limbs don’t nobody fuck with mines.”

“Erik, chill-“

“I call you nicknames, Y/N. I can tell that nigga was peeking so he could see what his competition looking like. Then, you’re there with him for 8 hours...all close to you, smelling how sweet you smell, making you smile, listening to your voice...”

“Erik, are you jealous of Clarence?”

“Jealous? Of that nigga? TEH,” Erik could be heard closing a door, “I’m not jealous, I’m territorial. Jealous is when you want something that’s not yours. Territorial is protecting what’s already yours.”

Y/N stood quiet, a smile fighting to form on her lips.

“My babe, is my babe. Therefore, don’t look, touch, wink, wave, stare, flirt, compliment, hold, anything that’s my job.”

“Babe, pleaseeeee don’t come up here because I know how you can get. Don’t be so upset about this fuck Clarence-“

“The reason I get mad is because I know exactly what they’re trying to do, I’m a man, I know. It’s not because I don’t trust you...I’m on my way.”

“Erik-“

“I’ll see you when I get there.”

Click

Y/N was reluctant to go back inside her job now. She only lived ten minutes away if she drove. Erik is a reckless driver who weaves in and out of lanes. He would probably do 70 MPH to get to her job. Y/N decided to wait for him instead of going back inside so she could bribe him with a shrimp cheese steak sub and save Clarence from an ass whipping.

———

Pulling up in an all black Mercedes-AMG in the hood was a risky thing to do but that was the least of Erik’s worries.

“Nah, let me put this heat away,” Erik places his chrome gold pistol in the glove department. He didn’t want to make Clarence shit himself and Erik didn’t use his gun for play. It’s not like he didn’t think about doing it though. Erik is very protective over Y/N. Still pissed off, Erik gets out of his SUV, securing it afterwards and pocketing his keys. The thought of Clarence all close to his girl calling her a nickname had Erik’s blood boiling over.

Sure enough, Erik did leave the house in a pair of black basketball shorts with his dick free. His crisp white T-shirt, gold chains, and black durag has all the hood girls that were leaving the hair store doing a double-take when he walked by. Y/N is still standing outside of her job, a male security for the shopping center talking her head off. When she spotted her boyfriend’s usual bop in her peripheral, Y/N lifted her back from the wall, a big beautiful smile on her face to distract Erik because he couldn’t resist her smile.

“Hey babe,” Y/N called out to him, the security dude looking towards the direction of who Y/N was referring to. Erik and him locked eyes. Erik squinted his with suspicion, ready to call out the security but he got the hint before Erik could even say anything.

“Aight, sweetheart, you be safe out here,” He walks away before Erik even approached. Of course, Erik’s anger piqued when he saw another man talking to Y/N. Finally within her space, Erik gave the security dude one final death look before looking down at his girl.

“Niggas getting real comfortable around you, I can understand, because you’re fine ass fuck but I don’t like this shit. Looks like I gotta beat the shit out of every nigga up here in this goddamn shopping center-“

“Erik...baby...daddy,” Y/N made her voice all sultry and low, blinking her lashes at him. She rubs his chest, talking to her in that low sweet voice that had him hard and ready to fuck in minutes.

“Don’t do that, I’m mad right now...Why are you waiting for me outside? I wanted to make a grand entrance into your job. That nigga wanna put his face in my girl phone let’s see if he try that shit now,” Erik doubles back to open the door to enter the Physical Theray Office but Y/N stops him.

Y/N rolls her eyes, “I was just about to head to lunch, want something to eat?”

Erik’s eyes swept over Y/N’s work attire, “Nah, I wanna meet Clarence...let go of me, girl.”

“Baby,” Y/N made her voice soft again, “You’d rather pick a fight with someone I don’t give two fucks about than spend time with me? I can get you a foot long shrimp cheese steak with everything and some fries with hot sauce and ketchup.”

Erik rolls his eyes, bringing his left hand to rub his belly, “I am hungry. Didn’t eat since this morning.”

“Let’s go then-“

“Itty- what’s up?” Clarences exited the office with another coworker, some new young girl who did clerical work. Y/N was sure that Clarence was fucking the girl with the way she was pressed up against his back giving him googly eyes. That itty didn’t fall on deaf ears. Erik was in full on attack mode before Y/N could even stop him.

“Clarence, right?” Erik approaches him, “You got a problem with staying in your lane, bruh. I’m sure my girl told you already that she got a man. Now...I came all the way up here to put my hands on you but I ain’t even about to do that,” Erik turns, grabbing Y/N, “This girl right here, she’s mines. Whatever goes down at work she’ll tell me, and then I’ll pull up and put my hands on you...do you understand what I’m saying Clarence? So this is a warning. Figured I should come up here so you know I’m serious.”

“Man,” Clarence laughs in Erik’s face. Y/N could tell by the way his hands shook that he was scared to death of Erik. Clarence wanted to appear unbothered while the young girl behind him watched, “You wasted your time coming all the way up here. That’s yours, cool, I don’t want no problems.”

“You got a habit of laughing at shit that ain’t funny.”

Y/N knew that Clarence was provoking Erik. People within the shopping center started paying attention to them and now Y/N was afraid that Erik will end up bashing Clarence’s face in.

“Erik, the food, remember?” Y/N wrapped her arm around Erik’s bicep, “Let’s go,” she was up on her tiptoes, placing a soft kiss to Erik’s cheek.

“Remember what I said-“

Clarence cuts Erik off, “No need to repeat yourself over and over-“

“I’ll repeat myself however many time I need to...this lame ass nigga man-“

“Lame?! I’m not the one out here acting a fool over a chick who ain’t even all that-“

Erik’s first cocked back swiftly. Y/N didn’t see it coming. Frozen with fear Y/N covered her mouth in shock. Clarence stumbled and flinched, hands coming up in surrender.

“Look at you, weak as fuck,” Erik’s fist was centimeters away from hitting Clarence. Erik wanted to shake Clarence up. If he wanted to hit him, he could have stomped all over him until he was a bloody pulp but the thought of Y/N’s job being jeopardized stopped him. Clarence peeked at Erik through his fingers, slowly backing away before straightening his body.

“I would have bloodied you up but my girl needs her job. Doesn’t mean if I see you I won’t fuck you up. Don’t you ever disrespect my girl like that. I bet you learned your lesson today, didn’t you?”

Y/N shared a look with the young girl she worked with, noticing how turned off she was when Clarence cowarded away. She wrenched her eyes away, yanking on Erik’s arm to get his attention.

“Babe, I think he heard you, let’s go before some shit pops off.”

“...I’m coming, baby girl,” intensely, Erik gives Clarence one final look before wrapping his arm around Y/N’s shoulder, “Aight Clarence, I hope you and your child have a good rest of your day.”

Erik!”

“Nah, that laughing shit got me hot, then this nigga had the nerve to get big on me...kiss me before I turn around and put his ass in the ground, he don’t know, I’m really a cold-blooded killer.”

Y/N grabs his chin to make him look at her before they walked inside of the carry out. Erik was being stubborn, trying to look everywhere else but at her face. Clarence and the young clerical worker were too busy flirting and avoiding coming anywhere near Y/N and Erik.

“Aye, you missed me?”

Erik kisses his teeth, “what you think?”

“Nah, I want you to tell me,” Y/N wrapped her arms around Erik’s waist.

Erik’s lips twisted up to fight a smile. The outraged look in his eyes seemed to clear and now they were affectionate and soft like Y/N loved.

“...yeah, I missed you.”

“Okay. If you missed me then let’s enjoy lunch and then I can clock out early and we can go home. I don’t want you all worked up over this bullshit. He ain’t got all of this, you do.”

“Damn right I do,” Erik pulled Y/N closer to his body, his hands coming down and around to grab her ass, “all of this is mines-“

“Okay, baby,” Y/N didn’t want to get Erik too worked up since they were in public. Y/N slipped away from his firm grip to open the door. When she walked in, there was a Latino couple with N-95 masks on. Y/N and Erik sanitized there hands with some wipes that she carried with her everywhere before walking towards the front to order food.

“Miss Y/N! How are you? Same thing as usual?”

“Hello Mr. Dean,” Y/N avoided touching any surfaces and Erik lingered behind her, “Yes same thing for me, a shrimp salad sandwich and for him he’ll have a shrimp cheese steak with fries.”

“Foot long or half?”

“Foot long, and can you add extra cheese and lettuce to that please?” Erik says over Y/N’s shoulder.

“Of course, anything else?

“Two kiwi strawberry Mistic’s for me, how about you baby girl?”

“I’ll just have water I’m not in the mood for anything sweet.”

“Yeah, cuz you’re already sweet enough,” Erik bites his lip all tantalizing while his hands caresses her butt.”

“Daddy, chill, wait until we get home-“

“You mean wait until we get in the car?

#killmonger imagine #killmonger x reader #nahimjustfeelingit-writes #killmonger fanfiction

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theonetheycallhannah · 4 years

Text

The Treatment of Capt. Syverson-Chapter One: Evaluation

Pairing: Captain “Sy” Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)

Shane Benton gets a new patient, veteran “Sy” Syverson. He’s one of the most complex cases she’s had, in more ways than one. She thinks he’s already starting to like her and what’s worse...she feels the same.

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: None, really, mentions of war and trauma and some hate on the Chicago Cubs, but like…it’s not MEAN! (I’m a Missouri girl, and for the purposes of this fic, Sy is a Missouri boy, and we will bleed for our sports teams. Lol!)

A/N: Inspired by this post right here, and hopefully turning into some splendid fluffy and smutty stuff for my lovely Cavillry babes all around including the two that essentially forced me into this. Lol! (I’m thinking I’ll have at least three or four more chapters.

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3.

Tags: @onlyhenrys @cavillryarchive

Let me know if you wish to be added to the list! I’m happy to do it!

Shane was working on her morning's notes as she scarfed down her lunch. So many hand's-on patients made for a busy so called "lunch hour." Time which their boss was always reminded them was only half for their personal use, and could be taken away if census demanded. She was pretty sure it wasn't legal to make such threats, but thankfully, the secretaries usually had the therapists backs.

As she typed, she got a notification in her messenger app.

Just a head's up, your 1:30 is such a major babe I could barely look at him while I checked him in, so good luck with that.

Heather, one of her best friends in the office, had warned her, as she always did when there was a potential problem with a patient.

Oh, and his KOOS score is 27.5! Yikes! Shit, she'd seen arthritic grandparents with better scores on that test, which essentially rated your ability with the affected knee. Ideal was 100. She pulled up his chart review to see what she was getting herself into with this guy.

Tricare insurance, so, a vet. And only a year older than she was, so, recent discharge, or even active duty. She pulled up his order…shit. Traumatic tear of the anterior cruciate ligament. With damage to the medial collateral ligament as well. And a patellar dislocation. Repairs had been done, but this guy was in bad shape. He was going to be coming a while.

She replied to Heather.

Damn, that's bad. I'm looking at his order, and I'm already thinking I'm gonna want to try to keep him on my schedule if we can. And three times a week. If not with me, Jordan, if he's got openings. Can you start working on that when you have time?

Sure thing…I think you'll be glad you kept him on your caseload once you get a look at his face…and like all of him. Even on crutches, he's tall as shit!

Heather, come on. I'm a professional. I have a doctorate ffs. Lol

You also have a uterus, to the best of my knowledge, and it's about to explode. Promise.

Haha, okay. I'll be out for Prince Charming in about ten. Lemme pop a breath mint and run a brush through my hair.

Good call.

Shane did just that, but still pulled her dark hair back into her customary functional high ponytail, made sure there was no stray food on her shirt, and headed out of her treatment room for her patient.

As she walked down the hall to the waiting area to get him, she noticed a slumped and bearded figure leaning forward on a set of crutches, a KC Chiefs baseball cap slipping up off of his forehead revealing short cropped dark hair. She smiled at his repping one of her home teams, and stepped up to him, greeting him warmly, but formally.

"Mr. Syverson?"

"Ma'am." he said, as he adjusted his cap and stood immediately at attention, still relying on the crutches, but making himself as tall as possible. He really was a soldier. Despite her proximity to Fort Leonard Wood here in St. Robert, Missouri, she didn't see many military men.

"Hi, My name is Shane. I'm a physical therapist. I'm going to be working with you today."

"Oh, okay. They told me my therapists name was Shane, I figured…"

"Yeah, I get that a lot. Don't worry, I act like one of the guys. You'll hardly notice."

"I doubt that." he muttered, but she ignored it. She didn't know which would be worse. Him being a macho chauvinist who couldn't deal with a female therapist, or having a crush on her and making things weird. She'd had both. And it never ended well for her.

"Well, let's go have a chat in the treatment room."

They walked toward the room she'd just left, and when they arrived, she asked him to set on her plinth mat.

"Could you please verify your date of birth for me? Gotta make sure I got the right patient in here."

"May the 5th, 1983."

"Thanks, and the last four of your social?"

He told her, quietly, and against her will, a shiver ran up her spine at the softness the bear of a man exhibited in his voice when trying to maintain privacy. But she kept her composure.

"Excellent." she began typing her eval note, and asking him questions. He began telling the harrowing story of the mission, the mission that effectively ended his career in the military as he knew it. At lest, what he could tell her. Obviously some of it was classified, but certain details she would need to know in order to know how he it and how to treat him. She could tell he was trying to hold it together. Reliving the trauma was probably triggering to an extent. Her heart went out for the broad-chested, blue-eyed man.

"God, that's incredible. The fact that you're alive is amazing, Mr. Syverson."

"I go by Sy, ma'am. And as aware as I am of that, it's tough to feel good about it when some friends in my squad weren't so lucky." he examined the pattern on the tile floor as he rubbed the heel of his hand against the wide thigh of his injured leg. A nervous habit, she presumed. She had similar quirks.

"That must be difficult for you." she knew she was getting off-track from what she needed for her SOAP note, but after all, he was going to be on her caseload exclusively for the foreseeable future. She'd have time to flesh out the goals and basically finish the eval next visit.

"Yeah, but I know there's a lotta guys' got it worse'n me, ma'am."

"We think that should make it better, but it never does. And if I'm calling you 'Sy,' you have to cut the ma'am business. It's Shane, even to my patients." she smiled.

"Sorry, m--sorry. Habits die hard."

"Just like John McClean." she chuckled, not expecting him to get her ridiculous movie humor. But he laughed.

"Did you just make a Die Hard reference?" he smiled, and the sunshine of it paired with the stunning blue of his eyes nearly sent her flying into the wall. Thankfully, she had something to occupy her gaze in the form of her laptop, where she tried to document on him.

"Did you just get one of my movie references? Because nobody around here appreciates that I'm a total movie nerd. I'm wasted on these people."

"Ya know, maybe you're right about feeling like I'm getting PT from a guy." he chuckled.

"I told ya!" she laughed, but tried not to let her heart sink too far.

The evaluation continued with her doing strength and range of motion measurements on his knee. "Okay, push against my hand…now resist when I push…now bring your foot back against my hand…and resist when I pull." she did this with both sides to compare relative strength. "Great job. Okay, I'm going to see how much range you have in your knee. Lay back on the table for me, please." she thought she saw a flirty glint in his eye, but again, she ignored it. She had a job to do. And it was to hold this goniometer up to his knee and see how many degrees of flexion and extension this man had in the joint while trying not to think any salacious thoughts about the thigh connected to it.

"Okay, now, listen, Sy, I know it goes against your instinct, but I'm looking for pain-free range of motion, here, so don't be a hero. Don't move it farther than you can without hurting it. And let me know if it starts to hurt when I move it."

"Yes, ma'am." he winked.

"I'll let that one slide, I guess." she giggled. She concentrated on the numbers she was getting from the big protractor, and typing them into her eval, and not the man lying before her.

"Okay, I'm gonna get the other knee now to compare for goals."

He nodded.

"Were you pretty active before this happened?" she was more or less making small talk, as she could tell by the condition of the rest of his body that he was incredibly fit.

"Yes, m--yes, I was. We had a gym on base, nothin' like what y'all have here, just some machines and a few free weights."

"No bikes or treadmills or anything?" She herself liked the elliptical, but knew it was a considered more of a girl's machine in the gym world.

"Nah, with electric being spotty where we were stationed, we sorta had to…get creative, I guess you could say, for cardio." she let it slide, apparently there was an inside joke to which she wasn't privy.

"Right, understandable. Well, here, we don't have to get that creative. I'm gonna put you on some equipment gradually, and just warm up the knee, then get to work on joint mobilization and myofascial release. But at this point in Dr. Potter's protocol, he only wants gentle stretching and weight bearing as tolerated. We can start a bit of strengthening after next week."

"So, you think I'll be back to running anytime soon?"

"We can make that a goal, Sy, because I can absolutely get you there. But you're going to have to take it slow. You've got not one, but three major injuries we have to contend with, and there is major trauma in there. But it will heal. With time and effort. And like I said, don't be a hero. The number one rule of therapy is 'if it hurts, don't do it.'"

"I'll hold you to that, m--Shane."

"You're a quick study, Sy. I think you'll be alright. Looks like Heather's put some appointments in for you already. If any of them don't work, call us, and we'll try to get them swapped. I'd like to keep you on my schedule as much as possible, but if there's a conflict in your schedule, any of our therapists will be terrific. And I'll make sure they're looking at your chart and protocol thoroughly before seeing you."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"Okay, I'm gonna print out your schedule for you, and a few exercise handouts I'd like you to work on, especially on days you don't come here. And I'll know if you don't do them, because you won't have improved…so, you better do them."

"Yes, ma'am." she half expected a salute. She rolled her eyes.

"Okay, maybe I'll give you three strikes on the ma'am thing."

"Baseball fan, too?"

"Not that three strikes is so obscure that I'd have to be to know it, but, yes! Major St. Louis Cardinals fan."

"I knew I was gonna like you from the start. Although, being brought up 'round Kansas City m'self, I'm more of a Royals fan."

"Hey, only time I don't root for KC is when they're playing my Redbirds. And even if my team loses to them, it hurts less than if they lose to, say…the Cubs." they shared a scowl of disdain for the Chicago team. "Although, I was happy for them and their fans when they won the series back in 16."

"Yeah, I guess we could afford to let them win one in a hundred years…I'm hoping their next one comes long after I'm in the ground." he chuckled.

"Can't have them getting a big head, can we?"

"Nope! Sure can't!" they both laughed at their mutual interest in dissing rival sports teams.

"Okay, I'll be right back with those handouts." she ran to the office all in one machine to grab the papers she'd printed for him, making sure they were all his and not another patient's. She put them in one of their folders and headed back to her room where he sat on the mat, waiting for her with a smile under his rather impressive beard.

"Before I let you out of here, what questions can I answer for you about what we did today?"

"Oh, uh, nothing comes to mind. You explained everything really well. Did you look at my schedule? Am I with you all the time?"

"Hmm, let's see here, looks like the next two, yes, but I'm off next week, so Heather put you with Jordan, which is what I asked her to do. You two will work great together and he's got a great instinct for injuries like this. And I'll talk to him before I leave. He's one of the best PTAs I've ever worked with, I promise."

"I guess, if you have to take a vacation. I'll see you next time though."

"I'm looking forward to it. That's when the real work will begin, Sy. And our number is on in this paperwork if you have questions, and I've put my card in here, too." they shook hands, and he grabbed the folder from her.

She saw him out of the room and into the lobby. She'd finished with him a bit early, but her next one was already waiting. She needed a break. To collect herself. To breathe.

"Jason! Hey! Go on and get on the recumbent bike, level two. Ride until I get there. We'll get a lot done today if you're already warmed up. I've got a note to finish. And then I'll be in. I should be 15 or less."

While the 19 year old with a torn meniscus hopped to her instructions, she went back to her computer to attempt to finish Sy's eval and pretend that she didn't already have a serious and intense crush on him. This was going to be a long twelve weeks…at least.

Up Next: Chapter Two-Therapeutic Procedure

#henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #captain syverson #captain syverson fanfic #captain syverson x ofc #netflix sand castle #sand castle

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keiscait · 3 years

Text

Hi! I just wanted to say from the match-ups I have seen that you are such a great writer! If it’s not too much I was wondering if I could get a living room and bedroom matchup for a male character. If both are too much, feel free to do one whichever one you feel like you can write better. I wanna do this anon so the emoji you can use for me is: <33

Info:

Pronouns: She/Hers

Personality: I am a very goal orientated person and I can become very hard on myself sometimes if I don’t achieve things as well as I wanted to. I tend to be quiet but not shy per say. I do not have trouble talking to people and making friends and I can become very outgoing but in the friend group itself I usually keep to myself. If I am comfortable with you I will make witty remarks and make fun of you in a playful friend banter kinda way but I would like to say I am a good listener so I can get serious real quick. I am really big on trust and I used to trust too easily and now I am a bit more closed off where it is a bit harder for me to trust others.

Relationships: When it comes to relationships, I believe in communication and I haven’t had a big problem with it in the past. I wouldn’t mind a small pda such as hand holding or a small kiss here and there but nothing over the top because you gotta keep the important stuff private ya know. My love language is quality time because I tend to be really busy once school starts and so making effort to see each other even through our busy schedules is really important to keep the relationship healthy.

Hobbies: I believe that you need a good balance between work and play though so some other hobbies I have are painting (acrylic and watercolor), baking, and skateboarding. I also listen to music everyday and watch like an episode before I go to sleep if I have school but binge watch on break. I also try to game a bit too like league, minecraft, and my switch. I also like hiking and runs in the mornings before class because it really clears my head and I used to be on the swim team but I don’t competitively do it anymore.

Bedroom: I believe I would be a switch that leans more submissive. However, I am really cautious to do anything because I need to trust them to be submissive. I would consider myself very open to different kinks and what not and aftercare is a must. I’m not super into degrading because I’m sensitive af. I just would want someone who is observant with me and my body as well as someone who helps me with my insecurities. Once I’m comfortable though I definitely become a brat. Just want someone who would manhandle but still tell me i’m the prettiest girl they’ve ever met hahaha.

Zodiac: Pisces (sun), Cancer (rising), and Leo (moon)

Hogwarts house: Ravenclaw

Future Plans/ Dreams: I am working to become a biomedical engineer one day to help make medical devices to help people. Right now I am leaning towards possibly doing physical therapy and making prosthetics.

Looks: I’m 5’6/5’7 and have a medium build. I am tan kinda like a honey color with black wavy/slightly curly hair that is about at my breast length. My eyes are hazel but mainly light brown and I have pretty big doe like eyes.

Sorry if it’s too much or too little but thank you so much! and I have such respect for writers so keep being you :) HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND STAY SAFE

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello and welcome, my darling! So sorry for the long wait, and thank you SO MUCH for your kind words! (⌒‿⌒)❤️ Let’s get right to it then! ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶

I was reading your description, and I think the person I had in mind for you also fits your bedroom matchup!

Our lovely guest keeping us company in both rooms is...

(Runner up: Ushijima Wakatoshi)

Kageyama is a very complex character. He’s one of the few characters ever who we actually see slips back into his old bad habits every now and then, but is immediately remorseful and shows signs of him knowing better. He’s always striving for progress, and he understands more than others what it’s like to dislike your past self.

- Tobio here is somehow both incredibly observant yet so fricking DENSE

- I imagine that however it is that you two meet, he’ll be super formal at first. It’ll take a little while for a romance to build because he’s not used to opening up, and he’ll need to really trust the person for him to let his walls down

- however, as soon as you guys establish a friendship, he’d be drawn to you and how goal-oriented you are, especially since he is, too

- He’d take interest in you, notice all your little quirks, and would even find himself blushing whenever you playfully tease him

- Problem is, he has no fucking clue why HAHAH

- I love him sm but boy doesn’t know what it is to like someone

- Hinata would try to explain it to him and he’d just be like cr- cru--... c-CRUSH?? ...what is that?

- Man is in desperate need of wingman someone help him

- Anyway, once his friends get Operation: Get Tobio A Girlfriend in motion, he just turns into his pouty blushy self whenever he sees you

- The other boys will probably go overboard that he’ll be forced to take matters into his own hands

- The confession would be a damn mess but in an adorable way

- He’d 100% yell his feelings at you while pouting/blushing

- You’d have to shush him TBH

- shush him with a kiss maybe? that’s a great way to shut him up ( 　･ิω･ิ)

- Kageyama_Tobio.exe stopped responding

- anyway I think he’d just be such a soft, protective boyfriend, especially since you’re kind of quiet

- You two would understand each other so well. He’d protect you and your quiet side, while you would help him be more relatable in order to make friends. It’s also perfect that you two are both goal-oriented, because then you’d be on the same page when it comes to co-dependence/independence. One would understand the other when it comes to pressure, deadlines, and hard work, and you’d just be super supportive of each other all the time

- I think you’re better at communicating than he is, so you may have to inform him a bit on how it should work between the two of you. He’d pick up on this really fast tho so no need to worry! Kags has got you ;)

- Dates would be really productive ones. Study dates, work dates, workout dates; anything that would be beneficial to your improvement

- Early morning hikes with Kags :’( beautiful

- He really appreciates that you’re not big on PDA because that puts a lot less pressure on himself to be someone he’s not. PLUS I imagine he’s the same as you, who really treasures the private moments between the two of you because you’re both so busy

- Once you guys have some private time, he’d take it as an opportunity to release all his pent up energy and emotions. He’d be so needy and clingy when he knows others can’t see

- ( 　･ิω･ิ) ( 　･ิω･ิ) ( 　･ิω･ิ) also u kno whassup when you guys finally get some private time ( 　･ิω･ิ) ( 　･ิω･ิ)( 　･ิω･ิ)

- I don’t think Kags is the very kinky type. He’d be a dom, but I don’t think the freaky stuff would really appeal to him, especially if it’s degradation, since the man worships you?? He’s just like... why tho

- He may get into some stuff that emphasizes his strength, mostly how he grabs you and handles your body

- Picks up on your sweet spots really quick, and I imagine he can even deduce which parts are sensitive without you having to tell him

- Apologizes if he ever makes you uncomfortable :’( he’d just be SO tender and protective

- I don’t think he knows what aftercare is, or like the specifics of it, but I think despite that, he’d just naturally want to take care of you and check in on you afterwards. He’d ask if you’re okay, if you need anything, if you’re feeling any kind of pain, if there’s anything he can improve on. And he’d definitely scan your body for any bruises.

You were walking home from an exhausting day at work.

There were more than a few setbacks today - an annoying coworker took credit for your hard work, your precisely detailed schedule wasn’t honored by others, and because of this, you weren’t able to have lunch. It was now 6:30PM. The rain poured as you waited at the bus stop. You were famished, soaked, and, quite frankly, so done with this day.

You sighed for what felt like the hundredth time. You were so out of it today that you haven’t had the chance to check on your unread messages. Your boyfriend, Tobio, had left a few missed calls over the past hour, causing some worry. He didn’t usually call, given how busy he was all the time. You texted him first to check in.

You: Everything okay, bub?

K: Yes. Sorry about all the missed calls. Where are you right now?

Y: At the bus stop near my building. Why?

K: Which one?

K: Never mind. I see you

What? You whipped your head left and right, then saw your boyfriend’s figure standing a few meters away, umbrella in hand. He was truly a sight for sore eyes right now - he wasn’t wearing anything special, juts his usual tracksuit, but he was wrapped in a scarf and held a soft expression on his face. It was just the warmth you needed right now. He jogged over to you, closing the umbrella as he made it under the roof.

“Hi love,” you started, “what on earth are you doing here?” A huge weight seems to have been lifted off of you.

He didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around you, rubbing your body to give extra warmth. Pulling back, he took off his scarf so that he could wrap it around your neck.

“It’s been raining all day but I noticed you left your umbrella at home. I was hoping to catch you before you left work so that you don’t have to walk in the rain.” You couldn’t help the smile that was erupting through the exhaustion. This felt like an all new Tobio. “I guess I was a little too late, I’m sorry.”

You shook your head. “No, don’t worry about it. Thank you for thinking of me, bub.” You allowed yourself to slump onto him, wrapping your arms around his waist. You felt him loosen up, strong arms making their way around your form. You looked up at him without pulling away. Your big doe eyes stared into his blue ones, totally sinking into each other’s gaze. He planted a small kiss onto your nose. It wasn’t normal for you to be so affectionate outdoors, but right now, it seemed apt. You scrunched up your nose in response.

Had it not been for the honking of the bus, the two of you could’ve cuddled in the rain for much longer, ridding each other of the lousiness of the day.

I hope that was alright with you, darling! Thank you so much for trusting me with your matchup. Hope you’re having a wonderful new year so far!! Please don’t hesitate to sit and have a chat with me anytime ❤️

Thanks for stopping by! (ﾉ´ヮ`)ﾉ*: ･ﾟ

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embarrassingsmartphonegame · 4 years

Text

Anything (Chapter 6, Final Chapter) - Nik Ryder x f!MC

Summary: After surviving an attempt on her life, she discovers there are worse fates than dying. And they’re all ice cold.

Warnings for this chapter: implied (off-screen) N*FW, discussions of trauma and therapy, a short tid bit at the end involving animal violence/death, and plenty of fluff and other domestic stuff

Links to previous chapters: one // two // three // four // five

One year later…

Nothing.

‘Everything.’ Leah thought fondly as she sleepily stared at the man sleeping next to her. Thin rays of golden light trailed through the spaces between the blinds of the window facing the bed, making the man in question flutter his eyes open. She smiled brightly and moved closer until she was snuggled close to him, and he lazily wrapped an arm around her.

“Too early…” Nik grumbled, pulling Leah closer to his chest with both arms. “Go back to sleep.”

“I don’t wanna get up either, but we gotta,” Leah said with her voice muffled against his bare chest. “We have things to do today.”

Leah giggled as Nik groaned, releasing her and rolling over on his other side. She learned quickly in the past year that he was not a morning person due to the frequency they have to take down the things that happen to go bump in the night. So she, who happened to be a morning person and seemingly full of boundless energy, became the default alarm clock (and a damn good one if she said so herself).

“Come on, sleepy head! Time to get up!” she declared, sitting up and letting the cool morning air hit her own exposed chest. Nik rolled back over and let his eyes trail appreciatively over her form.

“Well damn, you’ve convinced me.” Leah blushed at his comment and his eyes glued to her body. Besides the night she came back, only a few months prior she wouldn’t take her shirt off in front of him, self conscious about her scars being examined so thoroughly by someone she actually cared about. She briefly recalled the night she let him see them intimately, and the memory of him being so patient and tender with her made her melt. Leah playfully nudged him.

“Now is not the time for that; we have quite a day ahead.”

“I know, I know. But can’t a guy appreciate his woman on a fine sunny morning?” Nik grinned innocently and propped himself on one elbow, completely scarred abdomen in full view. Leah ran a hand through his soft but sticking-out-in-all-directions morning hair, smoothing it back into place somewhat.

“You can appreciate me as we get ready to leave.” With that, Leah jumped out of their bed and began looking through the closet. Nik got up after her and wrapped his arms around her, and Leah sighed, pretending to be exasperated.

“You’re gonna have to stop touching me, babe.”

Nik glided his rough, callused hands on her skin, and he nipped at her neck not-so-gently. “Not what you said last night, babe.”

Leah felt a shiver run up her spine as she turned around so they were face to face. She rested her arms on his shoulders and gazed up at him, a challenge in her eyes. “Oh yeah? I don’t recall any of that.”

“Need me to remind you, huh?” He pulled her even closer by the waist and brought his lips down to hers passionately, and she enthusiastically reciprocated. They kissed freely because there was nothing stopping them; that little apartment was their place. No monsters, no ghosts, nothing trying to kill them. And she relished these moments of peace.

“Mmm, I might remember something…” Leah pulled away slowly. She turned around with one of her hands grasping his behind her, leading him to the bathroom. “But we’re on a schedule. Come remind me in the shower?”

When she turned around to look at him, his face was split into a bright smile as he hurried after her.

==============================================

Half an hour later, the two Nighthunters sat at the small kitchen table, both dressed and ready for the day. In the past year since Leah moved in with Nik, the apartment had changed significantly. Besides the fact that Nik was more motivated to do upkeep on the place, Leah put her own touches. What once were stacks of potentially cursed books and tomes scattered on the floor were now neatly placed in a modern glass bookshelf and organized alphabetically. All of the weapons were cleaned and polished and displayed neatly. She even found pictures of Nik and Elijah from when he was younger and framed them, and the misty eyes she got from him when he saw what she did was all the thanks she needed. He would freely admit that she made everything in his life better, and she could finally say that she was home. That place was now their home, warm and welcoming.

Leah hummed contentedly as she stirred the cinnamon in her coffee like she usually did, and Nik perused the newspaper casually.

“I still don’t see the appeal of cinnamon in coffee,” the man next to her said, looking at her cup. “It doesn’t even dissolve all the way.”

“That itself adds to the flavor,” she replied, taking a sip. “I don’t know why you like yours black; do you have to be so dark all the time?”

Nik rolled his eyes, sipping on his own cup of black coffee. “What can I say, darkness is my one defining personality trait.”

“That, and running away from unicorns, ya giant softie.”

“They’re vicious!”

“Vicious and adorable!”

Leah laughed, and Nik couldn’t help but chuckle with her. “Vicious and adorable, huh? Now those are your defining personality traits.”

“Aww you think I’m cute, Ryder?” Leah cooed, smiling coquettishly at him.

“Why you think I keep you around, Mendoza?” Nik replied, using her last name instead of the usual nicknames (rook, babe, sugar, darlin’, etc.). It was rare that he’d use her first name, and Leah was used to responding to a variety of pet names.

“Wow and here I thought you liked me for my mind,” Leah teased. “Or my magic glowy hands.”

At the mention of her powers, the atmosphere suddenly became more serious; they both remembered why it was a special day, besides it being the anniversary of her return to New Orleans. Nik reached over and intertwined their fingers before speaking. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

Leah squeezed his hand and nodded. “Yes. It’s been a year now and I’ve made a lot of progress and stayed away for too long; it’s time.”

“Say the word and we’ll go.”

==============================================

After putting on their signature jackets (and sneaking a few kisses here and there), the pair got into Nik’s car and drove off. They held hands the entire drive and the entire walk through the woods and the open field, and Leah took several deep breaths to calm her nerves. She felt like a specimen on a Petri dish again under the scrutiny of the cathedral guarding Lamrian.

“Hey…” Nik began, bringing their intertwined fingers up to his lips to kiss her hand. “Just remember, I’m here for you. You don’t have to do this alone.”

Leah smiled radiantly. “I know. Thank you.”

A Fae guard approached them from the shadows, and he was as dutiful and tight lipped as Leah remembered from the year before. She waved nervously at him.

“Uh, hey, I know it’s been a while but I’m—”

“I remember.” He bowed deeply and stepped aside, gesturing for them to walk into the cathedral. “Welcome home, daughter of Lamrian.”

Leah and Nik walked into the cathedral, which promptly turned into a familiar grand throne room. Leah could see Lady Thalissa writing on an ornate ledger. She turned back to Nik, who gave her an encouraging nod.

“Go on, then. I’ll be here.”

Leah steadied her breathing and stepped forward towards her stepmother. At the sound of her footsteps, Thalissa looked up from her work.

“Leah…” she whispered, surprise on her Fae features. She immediately cast aside her quill and dashed over, wrapping Leah in a warm hug. Leah breathed in her sweet-pea perfume, instantly feeling comfort.

“I’m sorry I was away for so long. After everything...I needed some time,” Leah apologized, looking her stepmother in the eyes.

Thalissa squeezed her hand. “Do not apologize, my darling. I understand the need for solitude in the midst of grief. Losing my greatest love, losing my son...I could hardly speak to another soul for months.”

Leah looked down in shame. “I hope you and the citizens of Lamrian got my apology. I never meant to disrupt your lives so much.”

Thalissa tilted her chin up, and she smiled softly with tears shining in her eyes. “There are no apologies necessary. Even though we are not bound by blood, I consider you my daughter. Oh how I’ve missed you; the sun is now shining on my heart.”

Leah smiled back, her eyes also filling with tears. “I missed Lamrian and everything in it. I...I was actually able to access my magick a year ago and can do a few things.”

“My dear Elric wanted to teach you Fae magick,” Thalissa began, her expression betraying the scantest hint of surprise at hearing that she could use magick in a significant way. “I would keep that promise for him, should you wish it.”

Leah smiled impishly. “Will you teach me how to make grimfire?”

Thalissa let out a surprised laugh, pinching her cheek affectionately. “Let’s begin with the basics.”

She turned and drew a glowing portal into the starry fields of the Fae Realm. She stepped into the portal and gestured for Leah to join her. Leah looked back at Nik, hesitating for a moment on the border between her two worlds. He gave her a small wave.

“Don’t be gone too long, all right? You and I have a date with a rampaging ghoul later.”

Leah visibly relaxed, knowing that her home in the mortal world wouldn’t leave once she stepped into the Fae world. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Taking a deep breath, she walked through the shining portal, joining Thalissa. The portal closed behind them as she inhaled the smells around her.

“Maybe Cal was onto something...it does smell different than the human world,” Leah mused, taking in everything around her as they walked.

“I take it your friends have been helping you adjust to your new life?”

Leah grinned. “Definitely. You remember Cal, Katherine, and Vera? And that man with me was Nik, my partner.”

Thalissa smiled genuinely. “Of course! Such a nice group, and that man is clearly enamored with you.”

“I don’t know how I got so lucky,” she replied, shaking her head in disbelief. “After Elric died, I just...I ran away. I couldn’t take it and I was destroying myself. It took a friend flying all the way to Wyoming and my father to appear to me for me to come to my senses.”

“Ah, yes. My darling also came to visit me shortly after he passed,” Thalissa said, a dreamy look on her face. Leah took a good look at her and noticed even more fine lines on her face in the starry lighting of the open field. “I could hardly function, but remembering that he was always watching me helped. And your message gave me hope that you would one day truly return.”

“And I’m here,” Leah corroborated. “It took a lot of group therapy and grief counseling with my friend Katherine, who’d also lost someone. Things weren’t suddenly all better just because I moved, but they’re getting there. I got a new life by giving my old one away, and I don’t regret that for one moment.”

Thalissa squeezed her hand. “Wise words from such a young one. You’re right; it will take time to heal this hurt, both personally and for our people. But I’m happy I can have my daughter with me now. Oh, and I almost forgot: Cassie will be so happy to see you too.”

“She’s been with you this entire time?” Thalissa nodded and Leah smiled radiantly, remembering her perrikin.

Leah’s heart had never felt so full that day as they continued to talk and Thalissa taught her the basics under the magickal sky. As she said her goodbyes later with promises to return for more lessons and to engage the people of Lamrian at a later date, and as she and Nik (and Katherine) hunted that night, Leah took it all in with a huge smile on her face. To think that she was once stuck in a dead end job in Wyoming and no knowledge of who she truly was. It had been a life-changing year, but she wouldn’t trade it for anything.

==============================================

In an unnamed part of the bayou, two female figures cloaked in black hoods stood side by side. Fireflies buzzed around, the only source of light in the night. The one with many faces and even more memories of time spoke first.

“The thrice-cursed son finally figured out it was I who hired him. He was not pleased when he confronted me today. Shame it took him so long; mortals are unfortunately so slow.”

The woman next to her, who did not have quite as many faces, scoffed in response. “You think that’s bad? She still thinks it was a coincidence that her dimwit friend and dead father showed up on the same night!”

The Fate turned to her, her face suddenly wrinkled and full of anger. “What did I tell you about using your magick for things like this?”

The woman rolled her chocolate brown eyes. “Cassiopeia did a real number on her by sending that monster. Things were going to get worse if I didn’t step in!”

“You forget, Jacqueline, that I am the only one who can foresee. This is my final warning not to meddle in which you do not know!”

With that, the Fate evaporated away, leaving her alone with her thoughts. The witch silently walked away eventually, and in the process walked by a giant dead alligator. She shook her head at the site and disappeared into the shadows.

==============================================

A/N: Anddd that’s it, folks! At least for this story. Surprise, I managed to finish it within 2019! I’ll see you all when I’m well under way my next Nightbound series. Thanks again for reading and I hope you have an amazing start to the new year 💗💗💗

My tag list will be in a comment because I had to bring my laptop in for repair, and my iPad makes it too difficult to do the tags in the post itself.

#nightbound #playchoices #choices: stories you play #nik ryder #nik x mc #nightbound nik #choices fanfiction #choices #pixelberry #playchoices fanfiction #phoebe writes choices #(bet y’all weren’t expecting this lmao)

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rwbyremnants · 3 years

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=Chapter 39

A few more days passed without any incident. Even Friday was devoid of anything too remarkable, and the schoolday passed in relative peace.

Only one factor kept Weiss from enjoying those days as much as she might: Pyrrha. Ever since she had pressed her for an answer, the tall redhead had been avoiding her. When they did encounter each other, the conversation was stilted and awkward. Weiss considered apologising but there was never even enough time to reach that point: Pyrrha would always make an excuse to run off before she could finish saying “Listen.”

But everything else was going fairly well. Even though Yang and Blake both looked a little ill when the other one would flirt with Weiss, that was the worst of it; they quickly recovered. And Blake’s flirtations never got out of hand; just a wink or a little nudge. Not that they had done anything more than that single morning of indiscretion, which barely counted for anything in the first place.

Still… Weiss couldn’t lie and pretend that double the romantic attention was completely unwelcome. It made her a nervous wreck, but it was flattering.

“...so I’m not sure what else to say to her,” she was telling the Dragons on their way out of the school. Everyone but Cinder was there; apparently she needed more physical therapy of some kind before she could return to a normal schedule again. Luckily for Pyrrha. “I didn’t mean to upset her! I just thought if I pushed a little more, she might admit how she feels!”

“Maybe she doesn’t,” Coco said reasonably. “I mean, I’m all for another girl-loving-girl in our school, but I’m not about to paint her with our brush if the colour doesn’t suit her.”

Emerald laughed. “Yeah, really. I was there in the hospital room longer than you guys, and I’m still not sure. But… I’m not saying you’re wrong. She really didn’t seem to mind Cinder’s hand on her-”

“This is pointless,” Blake sighed as they made it to the motorcycles. “Just… I don’t know, tell her you’re sorry you assumed. That should be enough.”

Even before she finished, Yang was shaking her head. “Nah. Back off for a while. I mean, sure, apologise, but I think giving her space is smarter.”

“Oh yeah? And why’s that? So Pyrrha can be even more sure that Weiss doesn’t care about her feelings?”

“Hey!” Weiss piped up. “I care!”

“I didn’t say you don’t. Just that Pyrrha probably feels that way; she thinks it was more important that you find out the truth than to care if she’s ready to face that truth. Apologising again will show her-”

“Yeah?” Yang snorted. “I really don’t think she thinks that. More like, she just doesn’t want Weiss to bring it up again because she’s scared of the truth. That’s something she’s gotta get over on her own, and rushing her won’t help anything.”

“You’re sure about that, huh? Wanna bet?”

“What?”

Blake stepped up, arms folded over her chest as she came nose to nose with the other Dragon, amber eyes glittering with a kind of dangerous excitement. “I bet you that Pyrrha was worried Weiss didn’t care about her feelings. You bet that Pyrrha just wanted to avoid the conversation. I’m not betting on whether or not Pyrrha’s like us because that seems… grody. Just on the reason she’s avoiding Weiss.”

“Hmm…” Yang worked her jaw back and forth for a second, thinking it over. “What are the terms?”

“Loser has to wash the other one’s bike once a week for the month.”

A long sigh flowed from Weiss. “Are you two quite through?”

“Deal,” Yang chuckled as they shook on it. Then they started trying to crush each other’s hands, which was just about the right level of maturity considering the rest of the wager. Weiss gave up and went to sit by Blake’s bike until they were done.

Then they were… and somehow, it actually got worse.

“Oh,” her girlfriend said, looking a little deflated. “I thought you were coming with me to the diner.”

Weiss looked over at Yang and sighed. “I don’t know, are you through with playtime?”

“It’s alright,” Blake interrupted them. “You can come pick her up later.”

“No, I can pick her up now. C’mon, let’s go.”

“No, you can wait. She acts kinda peeved at you right now. Just… go.”

Weiss blinked at Blake in mild surprise. “Since when do you decide how I feel for me?” When Blake’s head snapped back in surprise, she turned back to Yang. “We can go now. I mean, she’s right, I think this bet is kind of dumb, but not dumb enough that I don’t want to split a malted with you.”

“Good,” she said with a fierce grin of triumph. She stuck her tongue out at Blake. “Why don’t you put an egg in your shoe, Blake?”

“Why don’t you pull that tongue back in before I cut it off?”

The other Dragons let out a low “oooohhhhh” as the two best friends squared off. Because that was exactly what they were doing: Weiss’s jaw dropped in very genuine disbelief as she watched them try to stare each other down, anger etched in every centimetre of their postures. No weapons were coming out or anything so dangerous as that, but this was not a casual argument anymore.

“Them’s fightin’ words, hombre,” Yang whispered in a fake cowboy accent. “You got the iron to back ‘em up?”

Blake rolled her eyes. “Don’t you ever take anything seriously? I was only trying to watch Weiss’s back, not saying you were some kind of-”

“She doesn’t need you watching it from me. I can take care of my girl.”

“Oh, so now she’s yours? All wrapped up in a pretty bow in your saddlebag?”

“She’s my responsibility. I got her into this gang, I changed her life, and I’m gonna make sure that she stays safe. And I don’t need your help, Belladonna.”

A low whistle came from Emerald, but she didn’t do anything else to help. All of the Dragons were hanging back, not having been expecting any kind of confrontation between the two best friends who began to circle very slowly. Coco looked worried, and Velvet was hiding behind her, and Ilia looked ready to jump in and defend Blake if necessary. But nobody else moved a muscle.

“You do, too, you liar,” Blake was growling through her teeth. “Who was supposed to protect her while you were laid up with your arm, huh? What about when you were splitsville with her? What about… when your mom needs to keep you at home and ‘teach you a lesson’? You can’t be everywhere all the time. Don’t be stupid.”

Scoffing, Yang spat in the dirt before glaring up at Blake again. “So now I’m ‘stupid’, huh? Just because I wanna do what’s right by Weiss? I’ve never loved anyone more in my entire life - and if you think a sprained arm, a- a stab, a handful of lead is ever going to keep us apart, you’re wrong!”

“I know! You obviously think your love is so damn great, that it’s some kind of cure-all! Well it can’t bring back the dead, Yang! And if you keep snapping at everybody trying to help you two, that’s how you’ll end up! Or did you forget the mess we’re all in right now?”

“Alright, I’m sorry,” Weiss attempted, trying to step in between them. She saw Coco gesturing for her to back off but she ignored her. “Okay? It’s my father - he’s got everybody going crazy. I wish he didn’t show up and cause so much trouble a few-”

“What’s wrong with my love?”

“What?”

“What’s wrong with it?” Yang repeated, shouting at Blake now. “You really think I can’t protect the ones I care about?! The power of love is- it’s strong, and it’s hot, and it can change your life! But what the hell would you know? You’ve never even known what it’s like, you… you jerk! Stop acting like you know!”

Only two people in that circle knew exactly how hard that last one stung. Weiss, the helpless bystander, and the one who had been blasted by its fury. Blake held completely still for a long second or two, eyes wide in shock as she vibrated with growing anger. Then she snapped.

“You think you know, huh? Think you know so goddamn much, you goddamn… genius?! About love! Because you fucked a few girls, huh? Well, I’ve fucked a few girls, too - and it doesn’t mean shit! I know what love is, I’ve seen it!”

Weiss made one last feeble attempt. “Yang, please, let’s just-”

“Yeah? Where? Where have you seen it, besides in Pep Comics?” she sneered.

“Right here! And you will never, ever get it, and I… I don’t care anymore!” She stormed right up to her, and Weiss felt her heart stop as she saw the pure, unbridled fury straining to get out through her amber eyes, her snapping teeth. “It was supposed to be YOU! But you turned out to be the WORST, you bottle-hitting bimbo! So forget it! Just… just forget everything! I’m done! I quit!”

Seething with anger, Blake yanked her jacket off and flung it straight at Yang’s face, then stormed over to her bike and jumped on without a backward glance. Within seconds, she was a memory.

“Whoa,” Coco breathed after a few seconds.

“What… did she just say?” Yang looked down at the jacket in her hands, suddenly numb where she had been all righteous passion a moment ago. “Did she quit? No, wait - she didn’t mean quit the Dragons.”

“Maybe,” Emerald said in a reasonable voice, though she didn’t look too confident.

“No,” Ilia breathed, falling to her knees. “Blake can’t quit. She can’t!”

Yang turned to Weiss, just desperate for someone to answer. “What did she mean that… it’s supposed to be me? What is? She…” Her eyes flicked away, and then back. “Weiss?”

“You really can be a little thick,” Weiss admitted wearily. “But… it’s not your fault you didn’t see it. I’m sorry.”

“See what? See what, Weiss - what did I miss? Come on…” She looked down at the jacket again, thumbs caressing the dark leather. “No… no. That’s stupid. No way she would ever- we’re best friends. Have been for a million years. It’s s-stupid!”

Emerald cleared her throat, shrugging uncomfortably. “I did used to wonder about you two, but… then Weiss came along, and…”

“And what?” She never got a true answer; Emerald only looked away, unable to come up with anything to say. Yang looked frustrated and wadded up the jacket. “What? WHAT?!”

“Stop!” Weiss snapped, shaking her wrists. “Don’t do that to her jacket, you know she didn’t mean it! And she’ll want this back! So just… just calm down!”

Yang stared blankly at her. The change in her eyes when she realised it was readily apparent. “You knew. You know Blake doesn’t… that she sees me like a… how long?”

“How long did I know, or how long has she been twitterpated over you?”

Hearing it out loud was too much. Yang dropped the jacket as if burned. Without a word, Weiss stooped down and collected it, handing it to Ilia; if anyone would take good care of it, it was that poor girl who was still hung up on an unattainable woman after all that time. Just like said woman was herself.

“No… no, no, nonononono, I can’t, this is too weird. Blake couldn’t… no. Why me? I never even flirt with her - she’s like a sister to me!”

“No, Ruby is like a sister to you,” she corrected gently. “Because she’s your sister. But Blake didn’t see you the same way you saw her. And I… what do you want me to say? I don’t really understand this much better than you do, but I know she thought telling you wouldn’t do any good! Because like Emerald said, we were already together, and… there was no point in upsetting you since she knew you didn’t feel the same way.”

Every word was breaking her girlfriend, and she hated to do it. But Yang wanted to know. Needed to know and wouldn’t be satisfied with anything less than the whole story. Even if it killed her.

Yang staggered slightly, then walked over to her motorcycle. It was Coco who slid in swiftly and caught her by the arm. “Whoahoahoooaaaa, sailor! I don’t think that’s such a good idea. Velvet, do you mind?”

Velvet hopped down and perched herself on Yang’s bike, waiting patiently. Weiss wasn’t exactly sure what this was supposed to mean, but Yang seemed to get it on some kind of subconscious level - because instead of getting on her bike, she took off running across the yard.

“Oh… drat.”

“Go after her,” Coco sighed, waving toward the field. She didn’t have to tell Weiss twice.

It only took a minute or so to find Yang amongst the trees once she reached the far side of the grounds. Clearly she only wanted to give herself some space, not truly run away; that was to be expected. After all, she wasn’t the kind of woman who fled in the face of danger. She was more likely to run straight at it and punch it in the throat.

“Hey… big boy. Come here often?”

Yang didn’t even reply. That was the hardest part. Weiss clutched at her heart as she watched her girlfriend look so small, leaning back against a tree trunk with her hands in the small of her back. Pure sadness. After another long, excruciating minute of silence that didn’t give her anything more to say, she started to back out of the little copse of trees until Yang’s voice held her up fast.

“She lied to me.”

“What?”

“Lied to me.” Her voice was hoarse and weak. “Never said anything, never… and she as good as told me just now that she could have and didn’t, so… so what kinda… how am I supposed to ever trust her again?!”

Stepping cautiously, Weiss approached the shivering form. When she didn’t take off running, she slid a hand around the cool leather of her shoulder and gripped tightly. “Yang…”

“What?!”

“Yang, she loves you. And, um… and I think she knew you couldn’t love her back. I’m not saying what she did was right, but she didn’t want to-”

“No, she should have…” She took a few quick breaths as if trying to calm herself, even if it wasn’t working. “We fought whole wars side by side, her and me! I trusted her! And I know it’s not a ‘bad’ thing that she was sweet on me, but how could she… how could we hang out together, eat together, ride together all these years… and she never thought I wanted to know about it?”

Leaning up to kiss her cheek, she whispered, “I think she did. But didn’t know how. And I would have told you when I found out, but… this wasn’t really my secret to tell.”

“Yeah,” Yang grunted - with some reluctance. “I am mad at you, but I know I shouldn’t be. She probably asked you not to say anything. And like you said, she… would definitely be embarrassed to tell me who she liked. Since it’s me. Makes sense.”

“Right again.” As Yang nodded, she walked around to stand on her tiptoes in front of her, putting them nose to nose. “I would have told you. I don’t like having secrets from you, but in this case… it was her secret. Not any of my business to bring it up, let alone blab the whole thing.”

A little smile finally appeared again on her girlfriend’s face, even though she still looked as if ready to punch through a brick wall. “Okay, okay. I get it. But I’m still mad at her and I don’t think I can just ‘get over’ that. And… I still have no idea why. Why would she like me this way? After everything?”

“That part, I can understand.” A gentle kiss against Yang’s chin later and she dropped back to her heels. “Big strong woman like you? Any girl who likes girls would like this one.”

“You make it really hard to be upset right now. But… I still am. And I feel dumb as a brick wall for never figuring it out before now. Can um…” Yang looked guilty, but pushed ahead. “Can you get a ride home with Pyrrha or something?”

That made Weiss look almost as conflicted. “I don’t think… that would be a good idea right now.”

“Oh… still acting a little twitchy around you?” When Weiss nodded, she frowned. “Sorry…”

“It’s not your fault. And not your responsibility to fix it; you probably have a lot to think about.”

“Um… I’ll drop you at the Belladonnas’, I’m okay now.” A tear leaked down her cheek, proving she was trying to put on a brave face, but she still smiled. “I just… once I do, I’m gonna go for a long drive. Do some thinking. I’m sorry, Princess.”

One of Weiss’s shoulders shrugged as she looked away. “All we can do… is our best, I guess.” Which lately, never seemed like enough.

-----------------

Blake wasn’t there when Weiss made it to her new, temporary home. Nor was Blake’s mother. Her own mother was washing dishes in the kitchen, and seemed contented doing so - even though she had never known her mother to care about something so domestic. Especially once they got their automatic dishwasher, which the Belladonnas were too poor to afford. The radio was playing some big band music; she knew her mother liked a little bit of the modern sounds, but she was mostly still a bit old-fashioned in that regard.

“Good afternoon, Mother. Need some help?”

She smiled over her shoulder. “Oh, Weiss! There you are. Actually, I’m just about through here.” She did a little dance with her hips from a swell in the music, and her daughter laughed. “It feels nice to be useful again. Well… I say ‘again’, but this is the first time in a long while.”

She frowned, leaning against the counter as her mother rinsed the last few to set in the drying rack. “Don’t say that. It wasn’t your fault that Father… he did that to you.”

“Yes, it was.” She sighed as she pulled the stopper and turned to look at her patiently. “I’m touched you want to defend me, but… I knew that I should have done something. Feeling helpless was easier than being brave.”

“But he would hit you! And… and I don’t want to think about how else he hurt you, I get so mad!”

Drying her hands, Willow tossed the hand towel aside and drew her daughter into a warm embrace. The Schnee matriarch was so soft, and smelled distantly of her usual perfume. She had noticed her mother dabbed on a bit less and less as time went on - expecting not to be able to buy any more of it anytime soon. She hugged her back, burying her face in her shoulder and feeling her heart flutter at being able to do this again while she was sober.

“Shhh. Alright, we both shared the blame, he and I: he for hurting me, and I for letting him do it for far too long. But I don’t want you thinking thoughts like that, my little snow angel. Alright?” She kissed the top of her head, and Weiss felt some of her lingering anxieties begin to fade. “And you and I are still together, and… and the rest of our family is gone, but we have new family, and they aren’t so bad.”

“They’re really not,” she whispered with small squeeze. After a minute or two, she drew away to smile up at her mother. “Sorry for being so mopey.”

“You aren’t. Just concerned.”

Nodding, Weiss’s expression fell. “Yeah… speaking of which, um, have you seen Blake? Did she come home?”

“No, she hasn’t. Why? Something wrong?”

“Nothing that important. Dumb teen-ager stuff.”

“Ohhh, come now. You can talk to your mother! I know I’m an old fuddy-duddy now, but I was young once; I have a few dusty memories of what it was like.” She gently led her into the living room to have a seat. “Come on. Try and bend my ear; maybe I’ll have a thought you didn’t.”

“Well…”

And just like that, she was spilling. Everything. At first, she had tried to tiptoe around a few subjects, but the rest came tumbling out sooner or later. There were a few gasps and cries of surprise from her mother, of course, but mostly the woman was too stunned to comment. Even though she knew the situation would go over her head a bit, she decided she’d had enough of hiding her pain behind a pretty mask. Of pretending that she wasn’t feeling as terrible as she was about so many situations. It was just good to have someone really listen - someone who couldn’t help much, but could at least be sympathetic and caring.

When Weiss had at last talked herself out, sobbing fat tears by the end, her mother had drawn her head into her lap and was petting over her hair, hoping it would soothe her affected daughter.

“There, there,” she breathed, though her voice was definitely somewhat affected as well. Not the confident serenity that Kali’s would have been, but emotionally invested in Weiss’s well-being. “It’s alright.”

“Sorry, Mommy,” she whispered, voice tight as she sniffled a few more times, hugging her tight around the middle. “I didn’t mean to get so… s-so disgusting!”

Pulling her chin up to gaze into her eyes, so she would see how serious she was, Willow told her daughter firmly, “You aren’t disgusting. I… I might not fully understand all these things quite yet, but I’m learning. And I see how Yang feels about you, and, well… I suppose Blake, too.”

“Don’t say that. I’m not ‘going with’ Blake. She’s… I don’t know!”

“You don’t have to be!” she pressed on urgently, cupping her cheek. “But I meant as far as how they feel about you. I’d never… well… I had always assumed anyone that finds themselves romantically drawn to the same sex is a sinner, but I already told you that’s gone the way of the buffalo. My little girl is one of them; I can’t look at you and see a ‘sinner’. I just can’t.”

Weiss’s smile was genuine, and beyond touched. She hugged her mother tight. “Oh, Mommy… I just don’t know what to do with myself anymore. Should I have told Blake to… to stop barking up my tree?”

“I don’t think that will solve the problem. But Raven and Kali have raised strong daughters with good hearts, and I know this will work out. I’d say… you have to get Blake and Yang talking again; remind them of why they like being friends. Probably, Blake will forget all about pursuing you if you can manage that.”

“Yeah. I’m sure you’re right. But how?”

Her mother pulled a face, trying to think of possible solutions to her daughter’s crises. Any of them; Weiss wished she had a few less to deal with at once. Obviously, nothing could be done about Jacques - short of an execution or a sudden deportation, naturally.

“Ah. It won’t help with the others, but I think I have an idea for Pyrrha. Bake her a cake!”

Weiss was underwhelmed. “What? Mother, seriously, I… don’t think a cake is enough to-”

“Perhaps not, but I think in this case… well, you haven’t done anything cruel to her. Only tried to ask her about her feelings a bit… aggressively.” Weiss looked down in shame, so her mother rushed on, “The cake is a peace offering. Once she has that, just apologise from the heart, and I think everything should be right as rain again.”

The more she thought about it, the better that sounded. It wasn’t any kind of guarantee, but it was a far better plan than her previous one: doing nothing. “Okay,” she sighed, wiping at her eyes. Her mother pet up and down her back as she took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Can you help me make one?” “Certainly.” As they stood up from the couch, her mother hesitated. “By the way… do you happen to know how to make a cake?”

#princess and the dragons #freezerburn fanfic #1950s au #rwby fanfiction #rwbyremnants

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ebonix · 4 years

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It’s June 2020! I’m really tryna get my headspace and emotions out of May. But #energy does not end. Therefore, love being energy doesn’t end. My thing is that’s not excuse to act stupidly and reckless. So, I decided to chill it with the world. Aight. Lol Why did I call the one person whose been liking me for years? And idk he had to be told I’m not over ex. & u know he said, “ U will be.” & for some reason his conviction calmed me. This morning I called him. He asked what I was doing. I was still out of it lol And he encouraged me to go do my hw and focus on me. We hung up. I showered and lotioned . Now I’m preparing to work. But I feel the universe pulling those I need around me and those I don’t away. I’m not gonna fight it. Yesterday, he told me he could sense I was creative and was talking about my art. I was like wait... have u seen my art? Lol He was saying I have a way with words, etc. I mentioned I use to write poetry. I wrote a song this morning. Why did he encourage me to become a professional songwriter? I’m just listening to dude. But like all this ish I do and have always wished I was encouraged more of he just kept saying it all. I didn’t even mention wanting to be a lyricist or anything. Just that I wrote a song this morning. And it’s like... dang universe. Lol I’m not tryna date or hold up anyone’s energy at this point in my life, but I won’t fight the positive energy entering my life and ears. Damn. A brotha that encourages and we’re not even involved... I’m comfortable in this space. This space of not being expected to do anything or give anything. Lol but I’m not comfortable when he starts expressing longer term interest in me. My head is too full of other things than to think about when I’m ready for a relationship. Or to start really looking for a companion that wants to be mine and only mine. I need to go to court this week, stay in therapy, get my hair done and get started on next semester’s reading. Lol what do the folx always say... stay hydrated, exfoliated , moisturized, paid and in my own lane. Lol yup. That’s my life right now... Gotta build up my schedule so I’m too busy to be stressed out. https://www.instagram.com/p/CBGpLu3JG4Tm0CHpgtAJuGJycsORBB4AuPGebw0/?igshid=1mhnmv9ep1uwy

#energy

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canaryatlaw · 6 years

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ok, long but good day. woke up to my alarm at 7:45, got up and got dressed, stuck the last of my toiletries in my suitcase and got an uber to the airport. Got there about 8:45, which was my goal time, so I was happy about that. got through security no problem, something I was like low key nervous about because I had originally thought the Real ID law going into effect meant I needed an enhanced driver’s license to use as ID, but I did a bunch of online research and knew that wasn’t the case, but was still a little worried about lol. I walk to my gate, which is allllll the way at the very end of the terminal. there’s a starbucks there, so I order a breakfast sandwich and a drink. I keep making the mistake of thinking that if a drink is on the app’s mobile ordering menu the barista will know how to make it, when that is clearly not the case. I asked for a “violet drink” which is the equivalent of “pink drink” but made with the berry hibiscus refresher instead of the strawberry acai refresher. but the cashier didn’t know what I was talking about so I just ended up with a normal berry hibiscus refresher 🤷🏻‍♀️ oh well. I sat for a while and used the free wifi while charging my phone on the conveniently located outlets, and in not too long they were boarding. My zone gets called, I swipe my boarding pass on my phone, and the lady is like “you’re good- oh wait no you’re not” because the machine was saying there was something wrong with my boarding pass and she was like “are you on standby?” and I was like....no....I bought this ticket a month ago I’m not on fucking standby. so she has me come around to the front of the desk and wait while she gets other people on the plane, where there are apparently other people waiting who also had boarding pass issues. At this point I’m fairly ticked off, and if I somehow don’t get on that plane I’m mentally planning what I can threaten to sue them over (clearly breach of contract, they made false promises that I relied upon to my detriment and I should be able to collect damages for the ticket prices and waste of my time), but then she types some things into the computer and gives me a paper boarding pass with a different seat number (which was exactly 5 rows in front of my original one). So I’m just like hey whatever, I don’t really care, just let me get on the plane, and if I don’t have to threaten to sue anybody than that’s good. So I boarded and got settled, opened the in flight magazine to see what sudoku they had going, they had easy and hard kenken puzzles, both of which I completed before the plane even pulled away from the gate 😂 (hashtag expert status) and I made pretty fast work of the easy sudoku puzzle before pulling out my phone and reading some fanfic I put on there forever, and then I was gonna start the stuff I loaded on it last night, but ended up wanting to reread one of Jess’ longer fics, and that pretty much took the rest of the time of the flight, lol. We landed at 1:30 NY time, I get off the plane and get my bag just fine, I’m texting my mom about where to meet her and I literally walk out of the airport just to see my mom driving by and I’m like, waving furiously trying to get her attention but NOPE she just keeps driving and I’m just like DAMMIT because if you’re familiar with laguardia airport you know they’re currently doing a massive construction project that has been making everyone’s life hell, so she had to do another full loop around to get back to where I was, which took another like, 15 minutes. So I finally get in the car and we start the drive home, my mom randomly pulls off the highway to this little town in search of somewhere she can get a green tea latte (which is apparently her thing now) and we end up in this adorable little place that’s billed as a coffee and ice cream shop but has a whole lot of interesting food options like fancy grilled cheeses and an assortment of belgian waffle flavors. And if you know me you know I’m obsessed with well-made belgian waffles, so I got a “churro” flavored one which was made with cinnamon in the batter, then topped with cinnamon sugar and vanilla ice cream, and damn I was pretty much in heaven. so we go back to the car and finish the drive home, pretty soon after we get there my mom has to take my sister to her therapy appointment (apparently she’s doing much better now than earlier in the year and my parents are very happy about it) so I was mostly alone and just did stuff on my computer for a while. eventually people returned and we decided to order pizza for dinner because my mom hadn’t been to the store and didn’t have anything to bake, so I called that in and the delivery guy came, and there was a very awkward exchange during which I was just standing there with the door open holding the collar of our golden retriever so he didn’t go run and jump on the delivery guy (he’s totally harmless, but he’s rather big and I know some people would not appreciate being jumped on) while my mom went upstairs to get money out of the sock (where my parents stash their cash) to pay for the pizza lol. But we got the pizza and paid for it successfully, and I put my piece under the broiler for a few minutes so the cheese gets nice and crispy and I’m in pizza heaven. dad comes home pretty soon and my mom pulls out some anchovies she was apparently saving for him (my favorite topping combo is pepperoni and anchovies, but I can’t really have pepperoni now so it just ends up being anchovies) so I had my second piece with them and it was very enjoyable. After dinner we just kind of chilled, me still on my laptop and the parents watching HGTV or whatever while the other siblings kind of milled about, and that ended up being out it for the night. we figured out train schedules to get me to the city tomorrow, the interview is at 11 and it’s about a 20 minute subway ride from penn station, so I’m gonna take the 8:30 train that gets in at 9:56 so I’ll surely have enough time to get there, even if everything goes haywire and I end up having to just hop in a cab or an uber (I’ve successfully navigated New York’s subway system before, once you’ve mastered one you can really figure out all of them, so I don’t expect anything to go wrong). the interview is supposed to last a little over an hour, and then I can take the train back home. It’s still been on my mind all day about whether it’s a job I want to take or not (assuming I get offered the job of course) and as much as it pains me to admit it because I’ve really, really liked my life in Chicago lately, I know this is the best opportunity for me and it’d be foolish not to take it when I don’t have any other possible offers or even interviews for any other job period, much less any job that actually deals with children. and like, I could make a job in a similar field like domestic violence work for a few years, but my heart wouldn't be in it (I mean, for DV in particular it is a cause I’m very much invested in so I would have my heart in it, but not the same way it’d be when it comes to kids where I really want to be) and it’d just be passing time until I can get hired at a job with kids. Right now I’m not crazy about the idea of being close to my family, even though they obviously REALLY want me back, and at one point in the past year I was convinced that it’s what I wanted to do and I probably accidentally got their hopes up on it, something has shifted, I don’t know what, but I’m not quite in that frame of mind anymore. I guess part of it is realizing that if I took this job in the city I don’t really have a group of friends there and I’m scared about being lonely, especially when my friend situation has been so great lately. So I don’t know. I think if it gets offered I’ll probably feel obliged to take it, but then I just have this overwhelming sense of foreboding of my time in Illinois and my time living this awesome life I’ve been living is going to be over, and like, that really sucks. But that’s about all I gotta say on that subject. Another thing worth noting that happened today though was I convinced my parents to pay, as my birthday gift, for me and Jess to go to Collective Con in Florida the weekend right before my birthday, because Brandon Routh and Courtney Ford are going to be there and we *obviously* need to take advantage of this and be able to experience seeing them as a couple outside of the show. I was pretty sure I could get my dad to go for it if I framed it right, so I looked up flights to make sure I got the absolute best prices (which were unfortunately still like $500 a pop, but there were ones that were much worse) and identified an airbnb and convention passes to give him a final number because I know that he’s more likely to approve stuff like that if I frame it the right way. So that’s gonna be coming up at the end of the month and I am SUPER psyched about that, we’re gonna fly out Friday morning and come back Monday morning, which is my birthday, and also the night “I, Ava” airs, then in two weeks we have C2E2 and HVFF Chicago, so it’s basically gonna be the best time ever and hopefully I won’t start flunking all of my classes because of it. But yeah, that was mostly my day. Hopefully tomorrow will go well. I’m always trying to think of questions to ask them because I know in job interviews they want you to have questions, but I always end up defaulting to like “what’s your favorite part about working here?” which I feel is kinda lame, so if any of you have ideas on that front, please hit me up with them by tomorrow morning lol. It’s almost 1:30 am now though and I have to be up at 7, so it is definitely time for me to go to bed. Goodnight my lovelies. Happy Friday.

#daily journal #March 2018

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