I am officially fucked now that I've experienced business class on a transcontinental flight because I've been looking at flights for a trip where I need to pay my own way, and the moment I see that economy costs more than EUR 600 my brain immediately switches to "Well then I might as well pay the EUR 2600 for a business flight!"

I blame it on growing up piss poor. In my mind, EUR 600 and EUR 2600 are roughly the same because they both are "a shit ton of money"/"more than I should ever spend on anything," so my brain tells itself "why should I fly economy for 'a lot of money' if I can also fly sooo much more comfortably for the exact same price of 'also a lot of money?'"

I have to force myself to subtract 600 from 2600, and then I can see that the difference is 2000 (which in my brain has the same value as 600 and 2600 in that it is also "more than I should ever spend on anything"), and then my brain understands I can actually save "a lot of money" by flying economy.

1086.

1 - When was the last time it snowed where you live? Do you like snowy weather or is it just a pain? >> I want to say... about three weeks ago? That’s my best estimate, it’s hard to remember. It’s a pain when the snow starts sticking and then turns to dirty slush in the roads and makes sidewalks annoying to walk on and all of that.

2 - Are you expecting any parcels in the mail right now? >> Just the crystal I ordered a couple of weeks ago. Which I now regret ordering after reading an article about the crystal industry, but I can’t blame myself for what I didn’t know at the time.

3 - How long is it until your birthday? Do you have any plans for the day? >> About five and a half months. I cannot plan that far into the future.

4 - What was the last thing you had to drink? >> Water.

5 - Do you need to do any laundry right now? >> Yeah, and it’s getting done tomorrow.

6 - Who was the last person you got a notification from on social media? Is this person a close friend of yours? >> ---

7 - Do you regularly buy things on credit? If so, how much do you owe on credit cards right now? >> I don’t buy anything on credit because I have none. My first experience with credit is with Azathoth, my gaming rig, but that’s on Sparrow’s credit (I just give her the money every month).

8 - When was the last time you got a call from an unknown number? Did you answer or call them back? >> All the calls I get are from numbers I don’t recognise, and at least 90% of them are spam. I don’t answer my phone.

9 - When was the last time you got off work early? What was the reason and did you do anything fun with your extra free time? >> ---

10 -  What do you typically eat for Christmas Dinner? Are you the one who cooks or does a family member do the cooking? >> ---

11 - What time did you wake up this morning? Did you get out of bed right away? >> I woke up at 5, dozed off again at around 7, and woke up for good at around 8. I think. That’s my best estimate for how that happened.

12 - Do you have any plans for the weekend? Are these plans typical for a weekend or are you doing something different? >> Just the usual things -- groceries, laundry, gaming.

13 - Would you like to work a job that involves going in and out of other people’s homes all day? (Like care work, painter, decorated etc.) >> No.

14 - When was the last time you had an injury? Was it a minor cut/scrape or something more serious? What happened? >> I had neck pain a couple of weeks ago, probably from sleeping a little wrong for more than one night in a row.

15 - Do you ever watch movies or TV shows that require you to read subtitles? >> I watch everything with subtitles, because it helps me process dialogue (and because sometimes my auditory processing is laggy, or the sound is unbalanced and the spoken parts are too quiet, or there might be accents I have a hard time parsing, or the standard “this is not in English” reason...).

16 - What accents are your favourite? >> ---

17 - How many people have you text today? Are these people friends, family members or something else? >> Zero.

18 - Are you any good at DIY? What was the last DIY project you finished? >> I’m sure I could be good at it if I tried, but I don’t have the motivation. I did start a new knitting “project”, but I put that in quotes because I’m not really trying to make anything specific. I just like doing the stitches, it’s an excellent rhythmic activity.

19 - When was the last time you had a haircut? Wen was the last time you dyed your hair (if you ever have)? >> I buzzed my head last week. I last coloured my hair like 3 years ago.

20 - Do you prefer wearing tight-fitting or loose-fitting clothes? >> Loose-fitting, but not to the point where it’s just way too big for me.

21 - Are you currently warm, cold or just right? Is the heating or air conditioning on to contribute to that feeling? >> Just right. The heat isn’t on in this apartment but I think the apartment below us has theirs cranked up and it’s seeping up through our floor. We rarely have to turn our heat on except when it’s very cold out.

22 - What was the last piece of good news you received? Was it expected? >> I don’t remember.

23 - What colour socks are you wearing right now? >> ---

24 - Do you prefer hot coffee or iced coffee? What about hot tea or iced tea? >> I prefer hot beverages, usually.

25 - What are some of your favourite Christmas songs? What time of year do you start listening to Christmas music? >> O Holy Night, Carol of the Bells, All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey, and most of Trans-Siberian Orchestra’s Christmas stuff. I start listening in earnest as soon as the Thanksgiving Day Parade is over.

26 - If you see cats wandering about in the street, do you stop and fuss them? >> I rarely see cats wandering about in the street. I think I would just pause and say hi, but I wouldn’t really linger unless the cat actually approached.

27 - Speaking of cats, do you own a cat? Are they a particular breed or just a moggie? Would you ever want a specific breed of cat at all? >> I live with a cat because Sparrow got one. I think he’s just a regular shorthair. I don’t really care for cats as much, so I wouldn’t get one myself, but I think Abyssinians and calicos are neat.

28 - When was the last time you moved furniture around to clean behind or underneath it? Do you need someone’s help in order to do that? >> I move the coffee table when I vacuum, but that’s about it. I’d really like to move my desk out so I can vacuum behind it at some point, but it’s just so fuckin complicated to do (and I’m always afraid of accidentally harming my computer) that I never do it.

29 - Do you have any medications that you need to take daily? Is this something you’re going to have to do for the rest of your life? >> I take the Pill daily, and I take CBD daily but that’s not an absolute requirement. I just got used to doing it and I think all in all it probably works best when the levels are consistent. I don’t know how long I’ll end up taking the Pill for, but if I have to take it until menopause, I guess I will. I doubt I’ll ever be able to afford surgery or anything else more permanent.

30 - Do you know how to start an open fire and keep it burning without using loads of wood? Is this a skill you use on a regular basis at all? >> I know some of the fundamentals of fire-building, but it’s not something I practice, so I’m not sure of my actual skill level in that department.

One of my best friends @ahufflepuffhobbit tagged me in this long list of things to help us get to know each other, and I’m just so glad to learn more things about her! So I’m going to tag @the-angry-pixie, @s-s-georgie, and @purebloodqueen (and anyone else who wants to join in!) with no pressure to these three to actually complete this! It’s long.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? I’m a pen snob. I prefer black G2 pens, but I’ll also write with blue or make notes with red on paper copies of reports and things (just so I can feel like a professional at some point in my life). I don’t mind the colors so much as I mind the pen. G2 only for my personal life (bic when I know the pens will be stolen).

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? I lived in Boston for 4 years, and I liked some parts of it. Now I live in a smaller city outside of Boston (around 100k people) and I love it here, but the art scene and the queer spaces are ample and I really like my job.

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? Outside of becoming a better writer, I really want to learn how to cook better and do better food presentations so I can make a “food blog” and become famous for learning how to cook better and teaching people how to cook better.

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? Yes, I just do a regular regular (2 cream, 2 sugar) for coffee, but for tea I prefer honey.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? Under 5, I read The Cay with my dad and loved it. Under 8, I read Goodnight, Mr. Tom, a book about a child evacuee from London which got me started on my WWII history obsession. Under 10, I became obsessed with The Outsiders (which is still my favorite book to this day). Under 13, The Only Alien on the Planet. Under 15, Harry Potter (unfortunately, the author has ruined the series for me). Under 18, I fell in love with this book about a young teen dad, and I’ve never been able to find the book again.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? I’m totally a baths person, but no tubs are quite the right fit, so when I’m rich and famous I’m getting myself a soaker tub and I will live in that damn thing (I have dreams that my grandmother had a soaker tub--which she did--that she never used--which she didn’t--but I would sneak into her house to use her soaker tub--which unfortunately never happened. Can you tell how stressed I am by nature? I just need a soaker tub with a bath bomb and like 4 hours to myself).

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Hmm... I just want to be your average garden variety hedge witch. 

8. Paper or electronic books? Either/or. I suck at reading these days. I just don’t have the attention span. Give me a book and I’ll probably only read half regardless of electronic or paper. (#badwriter, #readmore)

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? I quite like capri leggings. They’re my typical go-to wardrobe choice. 

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? I don’t feel like Jessica really fits me that much anymore, but I’m comfortable with Jess.

11. Who is a mentor to you? I would classify one of my college professors, but she just “unfriended” me on facebook because of differing viewpoints (neither are wrong, but her view of what I was saying wasn’t accurate). So I might be in the market for a new mentor.

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for? Sure, in some regards, I suppose. A part of me has always wanted to be “famous” but really I’d just take my 15 minute spotlight and be happy with that. I’d really like to be on one of those cooking competition shows (only a nice British TV one, not an American one), or I’d like to have fans on youtube and have a really cool youtube channel, or I’d like to be a writer with some really good books published... or even just a child development theorist. Whatever. Gimme my 15 minutes!

13. Are you a restless sleeper? Relatively, yes. I’m up to pee, to toss and turn, with nightmares. I’m someone who talks in their sleep and who thinks that their dreams are happening in the waking world--so I respond verbally to things dream characters say.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? I think I’m a romantic at heart, but I have few people to express that side with.

15. Which element best represents you? My sign is water, but I’m definitely more fire.

16. Who do you want to be closer to? I don’t really have anyone that I’m afraid of being close to, but I wouldn’t mind having a datemate. Find me someone to fit that role, please.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? I think a part of me will always miss my brother, and I’m close to my mother but prefer that we have a bit of space between us (we’re too similar). I think there’s this thing where you miss things you’ve never had, because I totally miss feeling part of a close knit friend group.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. I played alone as a kid a lot, and in my backyard we had a swing set that I would play on a lot. There were horses in the field beside the back yard, and a donkey in the field behind it and in the woods on the other side of the house were a bunch of feral cats. I remember swinging on the swings and hearing something make a god awful sound that I had never heard before (and it sounded really close to me) and I remember panicking and running straight for the house. My dad told his version of the story; he looked out and saw me, eyes wide as saucers, pale as a sheet, running in as fast as my little legs could carry me. 

Admittedly, this is also the house where I’m pretty sure I saw aliens peeking in my bedroom window, so was it supernatural or just an animal? I’ll never know.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? I’m down to eat almost anything; I ate a baby octopus once, and didn’t really like it. It was too spicy and too chewy.

20. What are you most thankful for? The job I have; I feel incredibly supportive by my supervisor and incredibly thankful to have such wonderful families I get to support every day.

21. Do you like spicy food? I used to... and then I became too white.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? I once spoke on the phone with Hal Sparks (a friend was at a comedy show of his and called me in the middle of the night so he could say hello to me). I’ve also brushed past a few other people while in New York City or in Florida, but nothing super memorable. 

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? I try to, but then I forget for a year and then I write a page that’s like “well this has happened in the last year.” and I do that every year I keep the physical journal. Sometimes I do write down tarot interpretations and things like that as they pertain to my life at the time.

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? Mostly pens. Occasionally pencils, but mostly pens. 

25. What is your star sign? Cancer

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? Ew. Crunchy. Who eats soggy cereal?

27. What would you want your legacy to be? I want to be able to continue supporting families even after I’ve gone... through a foundation or through a child developmental theory book... we’ll see.

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? I enjoy reading, but I’m pretty sure I have an undiagnosed case of ADHD, and I’ve been chasing the high of going into hyperfocus ever since I was a child--I haven’t stayed up all night reading since my teens and I miss that.

29. How do you show someone you love them? I’m very much a words of affirmation sort of person, and a quality time person. Gimme a day out with a friend or someone I care about and I’ll compliment who they are as a person about 800 times, and if you give me a task to do, I’ll love you forever.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? Yeah, I’m an ice cruncher.... I know it’s bad, but it’s so good.

31. What are you afraid of? I don’t have a lot of fears, but I think fear that my mom would pass unexpectedly is a big one. I don’t know how I’d get through life without her support and guidance. I also fear panic attacks (not the triggers themselves, but the panic attacks that I have every now and again).

32. What is your favourite scent? I have this incense called Opium that I love... I also love the smell right as it starts to rain, the ocean, sometimes sunny days have a really nice smell too... 

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? I don’t typically say people’s names, but if I have to address someone, I’ll usually say, “Ma’am or sir” until they tell me to call them by their first names.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? I mean, honestly, I’d still be doing the same thing, but I’d be considering buying my own house and having a kid... two of the things I really want but can not afford right now.

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? I prefer to be in the water at the ocean as compared to a pool (the chlorine kills me), but if I’m going to swim I prefer to do that in a pool... because I don’t trust myself to swim in the ocean--I don’t have enough experience to be a confident ocean swimmer even though I’m a fairly good swimmer in general.

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? Look around to see if anyone has lost it, but then pocket it. Maybe I’d hand it off to a homeless person or someone who looks in need, but that’s me being optimistic that I’d do that.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Yeah, I drove through the Pleiades meteor shower one year, and saw about 15 shooting stars in 10 minutes. I also stood on top of Mount Lee in Hollywood (where the hollywood sign sits) and saw a shooting star there. Once I was up in Maine and laying in the grass with some friends and saw a shooting star there too... you just have to be in a place that’s dark enough, and it’s likely you’ll see some flaming space trash crash into the earth.

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? I would like to have children to teach them, but I’m worried that won’t happen because $$ and society suck. But I really try to teach the children that I love in my life how to be a good, kind, person, and how to treat others with respect. I try to teach consent early and often. I try to teach loving yourself as you are and how you are, and that who you are is deserving of love, no matter what happens in your life. I try to teach them that they are not perfect (no one is), but that you can amend your actions and make reparations to the people you have harmed with your actions, and that even though you have made a mistake as long as you are taking steps to correct your mistake you are a good person and always worthy of love. 

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? I already have them, but I would like more. But again... $$.

40. What can you hear now? The roomba just turned on. It’s definitely time for bed.

41. Where do you feel the safest? In my room, in my home.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? Feeling unworthy of love.

43. Of you could travel back to any era, what would it be? I’m not really interested anymore in going back into previous times... the past was only idealistic to white people, and people of color have had a shitty time in every era so I’m good. Take me to a time when racism is done and then we’ll talk.

44. What is your most used emoji? the crying laughing cat face

45. Describe yourself using one word. Intense.

46. What do you regret the most? I don’t know that I have a lot of regrets. I regret when people misinterpret what I mean when I say something that wasn’t explained well. I regret individuals who have exited my life that have chosen to do so of their own volition. But they aren’t things that I had a lot of control over, so I don’t regret them very much.

47. Last movie you saw? Hamilton. I quite appreciated being able to see it finally.

48. Last tv show you watched? I watch a lot of paranormal tv... just because it’s something to put on... actually I fall asleep to a lot of paranormal tv. If I were to see a ghost, I probably wouldn’t react that much because I just sleep through the weird shit they do on tv, so... what up ghost?

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. I don’t tend to invent words... I do like putting words together in new ways though and telling different stories. Maybe I’ll do that sometime.

All 50 for Jon/Tom :3

I LOVE YOU ♥

1. Who is the early bird/Who is the night owl?

Tommyis an early bird by necessity, but without an alarm clock he’ll beup by 8. Jonathan, OTOH, is absolutely a night owl who can and willsleep until noon if left unchecked. Also insomnia becomes a problemfor him as he gets older.

2.Who is the big spoon/ Who is the little spoon?

Theyswitch more or less randomly,but Jonathan loves when he’s the big spoon, because Tommy is sodamn soft.(they usually wake up wrapped around each other anyway.)

3.Who hogs the cover/ Who loves to cuddle?

Bothboys are big fans of cuddling – see above :o) Jonathan hogs thecovers. He’ll whine and say it’s because he’s used to the warmweather of Egypt; Tommy just grabs the covers right back.

4.Who wakes the other one up with kisses?

Tommy,but that’s because he usually wakes up before Jonathan.

5.Who usually has nightmares?

Jonathana little more often than Tommy. It gets worse as the years pass andbring experiences like WW1, Hamunaptra, and Ahm Shere.

6.Who would have really deep emotional thoughts at the middle of thenight/ Who would have them in the middle of the day?

Jonathanand Tommy, respectively. Jonathan’s way of dealing with deepemotional thoughts is to metaphorically put his fingers in his earsand go “I CAN’T HEAR YOU”; unfortunately they’re a lot lesseasy to ignore when it’s bloody o’clock in the morning and you’vebeen trying to sleep for two hours. When they hit Tommy, he’s morelikely to freeze and go really quiet until he’s dealt with them.

7.Who sweats the small stuff?

(tbhI didn’t really understand this question? I thought it wasabout little everyday chores but then maybe not?) Jonathan would liketo point out that what he tends to get anxious about isn’t small– like the consequences getting caught together would have, forexample. Not that Tommy isn’t anxious about that, but he has alittle too much on his hands with rightnow stuff – managinghis hours at the Turf Tavern andhis studies – to let himself worry about hypothetical stuff, especially since they’re being so cautious anyway.

8.Who sleeps in their underwear (or naked)/ Who sleeps in theirpyjamas?

Jonathanlikes his little comforts and likes to sleep in his pyjamas (unlesshe and Tommy engaged in specific activities that tend to leave a chaphappy and comfortable and closely pressed against his partner aftersaid activities – thenbugger pyjamas). In theirfirst year, when they sleep together it’s generally in Jonathan’sroom, because it’s on the ground floor, so Tommy usually sleepsthere naked or in his underwear; but the next year, when they’reflatmates, he starts wearingpyjamas, too. (Unless he and Jonathan just fall asleep wrapped aroundeach other. Then yeah,bugger pyjamas.)

9.Who makes the coffee (or tea)?

Idon’t know how widespread coffee was in 1910s England, but if itis, then it’s probably Tommy. Jonathan, OTOH, makes a rathersplendid tea (he learned from his mum).

10.Who likes sweet/ Who likes sour?

Jonathanhas a sweet tooth. Tommy will eat anything, but leans towards sweetwhen he can.

11.Who likes horror movies/ Who likes romance movies?

ModernAU? Neither likes either horror nor romance. They prefer thrillersand adventure.

12.Who is smol/ Who is tol?

Neither,they’re the same height, give or take an inch. Tommy is on theplump side while Jonathan is a toast rack, though. (That’s beforebasic training, which makes Jonathan’s shoulders fill out a bitand Tommy’s tummy just a little less soft. He still keeps lovehandles.)

13.Who is considered the scaredy cat?

Jonathan,although it’s less “scaredy cat” and more “utter lack ofchill”.

14.Who kills the spiders?

Both,especially once they move in together. They keep a monthlytally.

15.Who is scared of the dark?

“Scared”might be too strong a word for it, but Tommy is uncomfortable intotal darkness.

16.Who is scared of thunderstorms?

Jonathan.Since always. It got worse after WW1.

17.Who works/ Who stays at home?

They’reboth students (ancient history), butTommy works in a pub. Which means Jonathan spends a lotof his time in pubs (either to keep Tommy company or in another pub with him over a pint or two).

18.Who is a cat person/ Who is a dog person?

Jonathandespises cats, which Tommy finds hilarious because let’sface it, Jon is basicallya cat himself. Meanwhile, big dogs make Tommy nervous (he’s neverhad a dog) but he can’t really say he prefers cats.

19.Who loves to call the other one cute names?

Neither.Tommy calls Jonathan “Jon”, occasionally “mate”; Jonathancalls Tommy “Tommy” and the occasional “old chap”, and that’sit. It’s less about what they’re saying than the way they’resaying it anyway.

20.Who is dominant/ Who is submissive?

It’slike big spoon/little spoon: not really fixed. Their first time wasTommy inside Jonathan and it’s what happens 6 times out of 10.

21.Who has an obsession (over anything)?

Neither,really. Tommy is a fairly grounded person, and Jonathan a little tooeasily distracted to obsess over anything.

22.Who goes all out for Valentine’s Day?

Neither,even if they could be out without getting arrested.

23.Who asks who out on the first date?

Thatdepends on your idea of“first date”. It’s Jonathan who said “fancy a pint?” first,before they even became friends. Once they’re together they do theexact same things they did before as friends – play tourists inOxford, go see the occasional play, and of course, go to the pub.

24.Who is the talker/ Who is the listener?

Jonathantalks a lot, and Tommy – who works ina pub – is good atlistening. However, when Tommy talks, Jonathan willlisten.

25.Who wears the other one’s clothes?

Theydon’t really have the same body type (not even the same hat size),so they don’t, really, apartfrom stealingeach other’s clean cuffs occasionally.(modern AU Jonathan absolutely pilfersTommy’s sweaters.)

26.Who likes to eat healthy/ Who loves junk food?

Tommyis a little too practical to consider what’s healthy and whatisn’t; while he grew up poor, he didn’t reallygrow up hungry, but hestill has the reflex toeat what’s in front ofhim because it means someone’s been working hard (his mum orhimself)to put the food on thetable. Jonathan ispickier, but not about health, either. It’snot really an everyday concern in the early 20thcentury, anyway.

27.Who takes a long shower/ Who sings in the shower?

Jonathanloves long showers. Tommy either showers before him or with him, orgrumbles because Jon’s been using all the bloody hot water again.Neither really sings in the shower.

28.Who is the book worm?

Tommy.He loves books.

29.Who is the better cook?

Tommy,but only because Jonathan never had to cook for himself until theyshare a flat, while Tommy – a sailor’s wife’s son, and an onlychild – helped his mam in the kitchen from an early age.

30.Who likes long walks on the beach?

Beachesare hard to find in Oxford, but neither, really.

31.Who is more affectionate?

Theycan’t afford to show affection in public, and the fear of gettingcaught is so ingrained that they don’t really let themselves be asphysically affectionate asthey would like even when it’s just the two of them.But Jonathan loves to fall asleep snuggledagainst Tommy, and Tommy loves it when Jonathan sneaks an arm aroundhim while they read/study. It’s 50/50, really.

32.Who likes to have really long (deep) conversations?

Long/deepconversations are really, reallyrare and usually come after a pint or two too many. Bothboys are tooself-conscious to do otherwise.

33.Who would wear “not guilty” t-shirt/ Who would wear “sin”t-shirt?

Jonathanwould totally wear a “not guilty” t-shirt (not thatanybody would believe him). Tommy would enjoy the “sin” one,because he’s good at looking innocent (and Jon can be shady enoughto make anyone look innocuous in comparison).

34.Who would wear “if lost return to…” t-shirt/ Who would wear “Iam…” t-shirt?

Theywouldn’t.

35.Who goes overboard on the holidays?

Eh,neither.

36.Who is the social media addict?

ModernAU Jonathan has a Twitter he remembers once in a blue moon, and Tommykeeps a Tumblr mostly to reblog ancient Rome, Greece and Egyptthings. Neither can really be called an addict, though.

37.Height difference or age difference?

Neither,they’re the same height. Tommy is six months older than Jonathan.

38.Who likes to star gaze?

Tommy.You can see a lot more stars in Oxford than in the heart ofLiverpool. When they leavethe pub at closing time and he’s tipsy he’ll sometimes walk withhis head tipped back to really look at the night sky, knowing Jonwill catch him if he stumbles and falls. (Eventhough Jon’s usuallyjust as tipsy as he is and wouldn’t be of great help – walkingarm in arm with him still helps with his balance and it’s thethought that counts.)

39.Who buys cereal for the prize inside?

JONATHAN.And then if he finds theprize disappointing he’s not above buying another packet, whichannoys Tommy because it’s food and foodmust not go to waste.(modern AU, natch.)

40.Who is the fun parent/ Who is the responsible parent?

Imaginingthem as parents broke my brain? Jonathan Carnahan is not a parent inany shape or form. (but we all know who would be theIRresponsible parent.)

41.Who cries during sad movies?

(modernAU) Eh, neither does, really.

42.Who is the neat freak?

Neitheris a neat freak, but Jonathan is 1) kind of a slob (except whereclothes are concerned) and 2) completely unused to picking up afterhimself, so Tommy is neater by comparison.

43.Who wins the stuffed animals at the carnival for the other one?

Jonathanhas reallygood aim with a rifle.Tommy isn’t a fan ofstuffed animals, especially since their flat is small and wouldn’ttake much to feel cramped, but every now and then he likes to pointat a soft toy and say, “Bet you can’t get thatone.” Naturally, they end up walking away with it.

44.Who is active/ Who is lazy?

Jonathanis TheLaziest :P Tommy is much more active, if only by necessity (gettinghis degree is “do ordie” for him).

45.Who is more likely to get drunk?

BOTH.Together. (after life separates them it’s Jonathan, though.)

46.Who has the longer food order?

Jonathan,because he knows what/how to order and is completely comfortable withfancy restaurants while Tommy will instinctively look for thecheapest dishes even – especially – when he’s notfooting his own bill.

47.Who has the more complex coffee order?

Neither– they go for tea. Modern AU Tommy has a mild coffee addictionbecause there are not enough hours in the day for reading all thebooks and studying all the things AND working in a pub,but he takes his coffee simple, black as night with three sugars.

48.Who loses stuff?

Jonathan.Fortunately for every item he loses he finds another he hadpreviously misplaced. If Tommy loses something he’s sure it willresurface some time later, probably in a ridiculous place.

49.Who is the driver/ Who is the passenger?

Ihaven’t figured out yet how 1910s Tommy learns how to drive, but Ilike the idea of him driving pre-WW1; then he spent over two years inthe Army Service Corps (transport system – ammunition, food,equipment) and finished the war with a talent for driving in theworst conditions (and a horror of driving at all). Modern AU? It’s60/40 in Jonathan’s favour.

50.Who is the hopeless romantic?

Neither,really. Jonathan is a little too cynical and Tommy a little toopragmatic.

Who are you when no one else is looking? Part 1.

Gooood evening ladies and germs and welcome to tonight’s blog. As I sit here with my hot cup of joe, my high school journal, and Echosmith’s ‘Cool Kids” playing in the background, I think I will focus on the topic of being accepted. That’s what we all want, right? Like the song says, “ I wish that I could be like the cool kids. 'Cause all the cool kids, they seem to fit in.” And that’s exactly what every teenager human does. 

So buckle up all you cool cats and kittens because this is going to get deeply personal. Please keep in mind that all names with an asterisk (*) have been changed. I will be splitting this into 2 parts because there is too much to put in this one post. 

Let’s all just be perfectly honest by saying we’ve all done things we aren’t proud of to fit in. Just to name some fairly common ones:

- Changing your hairstyle (emo kid hair was life). 

- Buying name brand clothes because god damn you had to have that fucking eagle on everything. 

- Changing the type of music you’re into because hottie Jared listens to classic rock, so now you listen to nothing but classic rock! 

- Doing other peoples homework to become “friends” with them or because you had a crush on them. Yes, to answer what you’re thinking, I did this. 

- Smoking cigarettes/weed, drinking, having sex (or other sexual things), going to parties, sneaking out, lying to your parents etc.

- My personal favorite - stealing alcohol and cigarettes from your parents and supplying your “friends” with them.. Because what says cool like stealing! Oh yeah, I did that. I’ve already told my mom, but never had a chance to tell my dad. Sorry daddio! 

WE HAVE ALL DONE AT LEAST ONE OF THESE THINGS. Looking back at high school, I always say how much I miss it! However, some things I wrote tell a different story.

10/15/08 - “Today sucked. I really hated it. Ok so first this morning Josh* and Chris* hid my books and bag when I went to the nurse. I got my period and was already pissed. I didn’t know they were missing until like a minute before the bell. So the bell rings, I end up like 2 min late to band. So now I’m not happy. then everybody is all like what’s wrong and I’m like leave me alone! god. Then I get on the bus...sitting alone. Fred* doesn’t sit with me anymore, neither does Zeb* and so Zeb* tells me Justin* tells him to tell me that I’m a whore and fat. Can’t disagree there. Well I’m not a whore, but I am fat and I hate it. So basically I cried the whole bus ride...” 

So let’s address this, shall we? So how fucking depressing is that? Yeah, you’ve literally seen just half an entry of what I felt like when I was a teenager. Teenagers are just mean. I’m no saint, so let me just get that out of the way now, but I don’t know if I was ever this mean. Oh and keep in mind that I was new to this school, so this was only 2 months in. 

So often are girls the ones who are judged the hardest (not to exclude all guys). You’re not pretty enough. You’re not skinny enough. You have braces. You can’t afford Hollister. You can’t fit into Hollister! You don’t have a huge house. These are all things that make you feel unworthy of your peers. 

I was 14 and have forever been self continuous due to how boys treated me. How I LET them treat me is more accurate. I just wanted to be liked. I wanted to be accepted and to feel wanted. I am NOT proud of some of the things that I did in high school and the people I did them with. But back then, it helped me “fit in”. 

I let some really scummy guys convince me to do things through manipulation. “If you don’t do this then you don’t really like me.” “Come on, just this one time?” I mean peer pressure is a thing and it’s hard to say no and stand your ground. 

12/29/08 - “...Hmm I’m making a New Year’s Resolution, and I’m gonna try to keep this one. I don’t remember any of my resolutions but I got this one written down! I guess mine will be to lose at least 20 pounds, exercise daily, eat less, and maybe even try track...”

Again, let me just remind everyone that I was 14. 

01/19/10 -  “...Jack* and Phil* picked Kelly* and I up at like 12:20am. We snuck out. It was really lame. Phil* is a freak and just wanted to have sex. ew no thanks...” And yet I still did something with him because I felt obligated. My friend left me alone with this creep while she and her boyfriend went off together. It was awkward and I felt like I had to because I was put in a position I didn’t really want. I was still too young to drive and we were picked up, so I couldn’t leave. BUT I also wanted to fit in and not be that loser they talked about later that evening.. 

For anyone judging me right now, I could care less. I honestly hope some of the boys who took advantage of me do read this because FUCK YOU. 

To all the young girls out there, or parents with young girls, if there is one thing I could tell my younger self as who I am today - don’t feel like you need to change who you are because you want to be one of the popular kids. Compromising your beliefs and values and who you are is NOT worth it. I would do so many things differently if I could go back. 

I’m going to wrap part 1 up here. Part 2 will be similar, but I think it’s healthy for people to know what the average girl thinks, feels, and writes when they are growing up. Maybe it will help someone or give some insight to others to see how their actions and words affect other people. 

Until then, stay beautiful and healthy! 

Xoxo

100 Ridiculous “Get To Know Me Questions”....And What My Husband Guessed I Said.

 Need something to do?  Share some “get to know me questions” with your friends and family”.   

I answered 100 “Get to know me questions” alone...and then later I asked my husband what he thought my answer would be. How many did we match? 

1.Who is your hero?  (me) No one in particular. Anyone who stands up for the underdog, (Fights for the weaker person, feels compassion and empathy for humans and animals....but actually does something about it besides running their mouth) Ron:  No one      CORRECT

2.If you could live anywhere,  where would it be? Somewhere very very warm, with very few people and all  of my children (Ron) Somewhere warm and sunny           CORRECT

3.What is your biggest fear?   Losing my husband or children. (Ron) something happening to my kids/family            CORRECT

4.What was your favorite family vacation? N. Carolina, time on the beach with my family. (Ron) N. Carolina           CORRECT

5.What would you change about yourself if you could?  Rid myself of self-doubt and anxiety. I’d be unstoppable! (Ron) To be more extroverted and outgoing.                        CORRECT

6.What really makes you angry? Oodles  of things. People acting like the boys we took into our family, aren’t “real” family, racial discrimination, animal abuse, bullying, gender stereotypes, and religion (Ron) “Oh jez! Incompetent people”                       WRONG

7.What motivates you to work hard?  My family and their success. (Ron) To Help others                           WRONG.

8.What is your favorite thing about your career?  Wanting my patients to feel better about themselves and giving them an improved quality of  life. (Ron) Helping people                     CORRECT

9.Coke or Pepsi? Coke (Ron) coke             CORRECT

10.What is your proudest  accomplishment? Besides my having family, getting my BJJ black belt. (Ron) being a mother         CORRECT

11.When did you meet for the first time? Was it a connection? Friends introduced us at his work, Moyer and Son. Nope, no connection!. (Ron) Moyer and son, I don’t think you spoke to me. no connection   CORRECT

12.Favorite TV cartoon growing up as a kid?  Scooby Doo. (Ron) I have no idea, I didn’t watch cartoons as a kid, Tom and Jerry?   WRONG

13.Who makes you laugh the most?     My husband. (Ron) me   CORRECT

14.What would you be willing to do for a million dollars? Almost anything as long as my husband was okay with it and it didn’t hurt anything else. (Ron) eat red meat      WRONG

15.What did you want to be when  you were small?  A teacher. (Ron) heavier                WRONG

16.Do you want to be buried, Cremated, have your body donated to science or do some kind of eco-friendly burial when you die?  The funeral market is a scam and it’s polluting the planet! Eco-friendly method on a green burial site. NO Coffin! (Ron) eco-friendly burial, or some shit like that.                  CORRECT

17.If you could choose to do  anything for a day, what would it be?  African Safari.  (Ron) nothing               WRONG

18.What is your favorite game or  sport to watch and play?  Brazilian  Jiu-jitsu. (Ron) BJJ                     CORRECT

19.What household chore do you like the least? Cleaning the bathroom.  (Ron) cleaning in general               WRONG

20.What would you sing at Karaoke night?  LOVE LOVE LOVE SINGING!  Sinead O’Connor, Nothing Compares To You (and about 100 more songs). (Ron) Beastie Boys, fight for you right to party      WRONG

21.What two radio stations do you listen to in the car the most? SiriusXM 100, 101. (Ron) The two Howard Stations         CORRECT

22.Which would you rather do: wash dishes, mow the lawn, clean the bathroom, or vacuum the house? Mow the lawn (if it’s hot outside), otherwise vacuum. (Ron)   mow               CORRECT

23.Favorite color? Yellow.  (Ron) black          WRONG

24.If you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? salad with lots of stuff in it. (Ron)   lobster         WRONG

25.How do you feel about adoption? Bring em’ on. Babies of any age! The more the merrier. (Ron) strongly           CORRECT

26. Have you ever had a nickname? What is it?  Sher (pronounced “Share”). (Ron) Dukers              WRONG

27.  Do you like or dislike surprises? Why or why not? Hate surprises. I wanna know.  (Ron) no, don’t like being center of attention     CORRECT

28.  In the evening, would you rather play a game, visit a relative, watch a movie, or read?  Ummm. Do nothing, so watch a movie I guess. (Ron) movie     CORRECT

29. Would you rather vacation in Hawaii or Alaska, and why? Hawaii b/c it’s hot. (Ron) Hawaii b/c it’s warm and has beaches           CORRECT

30. Would you rather win the lottery or work at the perfect job? And why?  Lottery b/c then I could still work at the “perfect job” as much or little as I wanted. (Ron) work at perfect job, b/c you’d be happy and help people   WRONG

  31. Who would you want to be stranded with on a deserted island? My husband. (Ron) me         CORRECT 

   32. If money was no object, what would you do all day? Create my utopia, an animal rescue. (Ron) Some kind of crap with animals         CORRECT 

     33. If you could go back in time, what year would you travel to? 1995 (after college).  (Ron) 1978        WRONG

   34. How would your friends describe you?  I’m not sure. Stubborn, strong willed? Sensitive. (Ron) passionate          WRONG

   35. What are your hobbies? Momming. Jiu-jitsu. Animal stuff. (Ron)  teaching bjj and pets              CORRECT

   36. What is the best gift you have been given?  My family. (and my jukebox that breaks all the time). (Ron) children           CORRECT

   37. What is the worst gift you have received? Anything that has to do with cleaning. (Ron) dryer vent              CORRECT

   38. Aside from necessities, what one thing could you not go a day without? My animals….esp my dog Mable! (Ron) exercise    WRONG

   39. List two pet peeves: My husband yelling about my animals, my kids not doing their chores. (Ron) me groping you, bad drivers      WRONG

   40. Where do you see yourself in five years? Wanting more kids (Ron) here                        WRONG

41. How many pairs of shoes do you own? idk10?,  the same shoes I had 5 years ago (although I’ll replace my sneakers once or twice a year). (Ron) 10     CORRECT 

   42. If you were a super-hero, what powers would you have? I could be invisible. (Ron) strength                WRONG

   43. What would you do if you won the lottery? Quit my  job and Open an animal sanctuary. (Ron) pay off all debt             WRONG

   44. Finish things as soon as possible or wait until the last minute? Wait until the last minute. (Ron) wait until the last minute            CORRECT 

   45. What unconscious mannerism do you display if you are upset or uncomfortable in a situation?  I become very quiet... (Ron) chew face   WRONG

   46. If you could go back in time to change one thing, what would it be?  How I acted as a teenager. I could be pretty rotten. (Ron) not throwing poop out a window            WRONG

   47. If you could share a meal with any 4 individuals, living or dead, who would they be? Jim Morrison, Jimmy Hendrix,  mommom, and God. (Ron) all your grandparents but especially your mommom Knipe           WRONG

   48. How do you feel about group vacations with other couples? That sounds awful. (Ron) not happening               CORRECT        

         49. What's the longest you've gone without sleep (and why)?  An entire day when I was young, partying all night. (Ron) 24hrs partying       CORRECT 

   50. How Do you handle anger?  I bottle it up for a while and get quiet. (Ron) not well, you get quiet             CORRECT

51. Would you rather trade intelligence for looks or looks for intelligence? Interesting question! I’m already getting close to hitting the wall with looks….but I also can’t afford to lose any intelligence either. I’d have to trade looks for more intelligence.  (Ron) intelligence for looks             WRONG

   52. How often do you buy clothes? Almost never. (Ron)   not often     CORRECT 

   53. Have you ever had a secret admirer?  Probably (who hasn’t). It would be secret. (Ron) probably              CORRECT 

   54. What's your favorite holiday? CHRISTMAS! (Ron) Christmas        CORRECT 

   55. What do you drink when you go out for social occasions?  Coke (not diet either). (Ron) water or coke                  CORRECT 

   56. What was the last thing you recorded on TV?  True blood. (Ron) SNL   WRONG

   57. Do you prefer the live version or studio version of an album? Studio. (Ron) Studio             CORRECT 

   58. What's your favorite type of foreign food? Mexican. (Ron) mexican      CORRECT 

   59. Are you a clean or messy person? Pretty Messy. (Ron) messy       CORRECT 

   60. Who would you want to play you in a movie of your life? Uma Thurman. (Ron) Uma Thurman             CORRECT 

   61. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? 30mins (Ron) 1hr             WRONG

   62. What kitchen appliance do you use every day? Dishwasher. (Ron) microwave              WRONG

   63. What's your favorite fast food chain?  Taco Bell. (Ron) taco bell       CORRECT 

   64. What's your favorite family recipe or dish?  mommoms apple pie.  (Ron)  Mommoms apple pie           CORRECT 

   65. Do you love or hate rollercoasters? Love. (Ron) Love      CORRECT 

   66. What's your favorite family tradition?  Christmas Morning Breakfast at my moms. (Ron) Christmas Eve          CORRECT  

   67. What is your favorite childhood memory? Having baby bunnies with my dad. (Ron) I have no idea           WRONG

   68. What's your favorite movie? Natural Born Killers (Ron) Pulp fiction  WRONG

   69. How old were you when you learned Santa wasn't real? How did you find out? Devastating. I wanted to believe forever. I was forced to “not believe” at about 12. My aunt said on Christmas day “You know Santas not real, right?”.  Ugh. (Ron) 8, I think your friend Dorene probably told you.   WRONG

   70. Is your glass half full or half empty? Half empty….just waiting for the other shoe to drop. (Ron) Half empty         CORRECT 

   71. What's the craziest thing you’ve done in the name of love? Dating my husband was risky. (Ron) got married          WRONG

   72. What is your favorite chip flavor? Salt and vinegar. (Ron) salt and vinegar             CORRECT 

   73. What was your favorite subject in school?  Science. (Ron) none   WRONG

   74. What's the most unusual thing you've ever eaten?  I’m not very daring. Seaweed. (Ron) I have no idea, you really don’t care for food   WRONG

   75. Do you collect anything? Unwanted animals. (Ron) records     WRONG

   76. Is there anything you wished would come back into fashion?  Bell bottoms. (Ron) The 70s                  WRONG

   77. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert.  (Ron) Introvert        CORRECT 

   78. Which of the five senses would you say is your strongest? touch. (Ron) You have a nose like a dog                   WRONG

   79. Have you ever had a surprise party? (that was an actual surprise)  Nope…and I don’t want one. (Ron) No                  CORRECT  

   80. Best quality and worst quality?  Best-compassionate/empathetic,  Worst-Too compassionate/empathetic to a fault. (Ron) best-caring, worst-caring too much                    CORRECT 

   81. What do you do to keep fit? Brazilian Jiu-jitsu but I also just exercise to not be a big lump of (Ron) BJJ and exercise            CORRECT

   82. Does your family have a “motto” – spoken or unspoken?  I say “wrong is wrong, damn it”. (Ron) Never a wrong time to do the right thing never a right time to do the wrong thing                   WRONG

   83. If you were ruler of your own country what would be the first law you would introduce?  ALL KINDS OF RULES about limiting the use of animals for consumption. NO FACTORY FARMS! (Ron) NO killing of animals      CORRECT

   84. Are you a leader or follower?  Leader (Ron) leader       CORRECT 

   85. What three things do you think of the most each day?  Work, family, how tired I am. (Ron) something happening to my kids, something happening to ron, or me                     WRONG

   86. If you had a warning label, what would yours say? Proceed with caution. (Ron) warning fragile                     WRONG

   87. What song would you say best sums you up? Comfortably Numb by Pink Floyd. (Ron) someone left the cake out in the rain, AKA MacArthur Park by Donna Summer                 WRONG

   88. What is your favorite drink? Vanilla Chai Latte. (Ron) water    WRONG    89. Who was your first crush?  Bo Duke (on Dukes of Hazzard). (Ron) Shaun Cassidy           WRONG

  90. What's the most interesting thing you can see out of your kitchen window? My chickens. (Ron) chickens              CORRECT 

   91. On a scale of 1-10 how funny would you say you are? 6. (Ron) 8  WRONG

   92. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Working like a dog and getting no where. (Ron) here                WRONG

   93. What was your first job? Working at an awful pizza shop. (Ron) pizza shop                 CORRECT 

   94. If you could join any past or current music group which would you want to join? The Doors.  (Ron) The dead              WRONG

   95. Do you believe in an after life?  Yes. (Ron) yes            CORRECT 

   96. You’ll never understand people who do what.....?  Fart in front of anyone intentionally. (Ron) hunt              WRONG

   97.  Who would i hate to see naked? Any parental figures. (Ron) parents     CORRECT 

   98. If you had to describe yourself as an animal, which one would it be? Probably a cat. I can be affectionate one minute but turn and walk away b/c you are boring me the next. I don’t like to be told what to do…and I’m not easy to control. “Obedient” isn’t my strong point. (Ron) cat, b/c you can be a loner and snobby (or some might perceive you to be that way).          CORRECT 

   99. What is something that turns you off about another person?  If they don’t like animals.  (Ron) people who are loud              WRONG

 100. Who knows you the best? My husband. (Ron) Me            CORRECT

The end

To The Woman Whose Love is Unconditional

As I sit alone in this foreign room, I couldn’t help but think how things are so different from how they were couple of years ago. While change is good and usually for the best, the change that occurred to me on the third day of April 2018 is something that my mind can never and will never understand. 

September 11, 2019 would have been your 54th birthday here on earth and I know exactly how we would have celebrated it. I would take a day off from work, spend the day with you, buy you a bouquet of fresh flowers, eat out with the whole family or maybe we could have gone out of town or out of the country. But you decided on the 3rd day of April 2018 that you wanted to spend your birthday somewhere far more special than any place that I can afford to bring you – Happy Second Birthday in Heaven Ma. 

I wish I could tell you how I miss and want you back. How much the little girl inside of me, wants to feel the warmth of your mother’s love again and never let go. I would have given you the world ma, but for now, let me just tell the world how wonderful you are. 

54 THINGS ABOUT MY MOTHER

1. She likes to sing “Dancing Queen” and “I believe in Angel” in the Karaoke

2. She is a good dancer

3. She cooks the best Filipino food

4. She likes “Paksiw na Pata”

5. She has a degree in Commerce Major in Marketing from SLU

6. The only dinuguan that I eat is hers

7. She is claustrophobic

8. She used to work for Smart Telecommunications

9. She also used to work in Navy Exchange

10. Her last work was with the local government unit of Olongapo City

11. She loves her mother and father very much

12. She loves her sister and worked so hard for her when she got sick

13. She is not a frequent church goer but has huge faith

14. She believes that praying can be done anywhere

15. She used to call me every night to check if I got home safe

16. We used to video call every morning before I go to work

17. And I used to text her “Ma work na ko, I love you” before I start my work 

18. She gave birth to her first child when she was 26 years old

19. She got married when she was also 26

20. She used to have a boyfriend named Romeo Francisco

21. She loved her last work so much that she spent so much time on it even during holidays

22. She is a good leader

23. She always reminds me of the Golden rule

24. When we were kids, she used to pay me and my sister one peso for every armpit hair that we get

25. She wore the same clothes on my Kinder II graduation and Grade 1 recognition and we only realized that when I was looking back through the pictures couple of years ago

26. She loves selflessly

27. She loves my sister very much and would always remind me to take care of her when she is no longer around

28. She likes chocolates and sweets even if she has diabetes

29. I broke her heart in 2012 when I failed from my first job

30. She used to cook fried tilapia and ensaladang mangga for my lunch during elementary and it’s my favorite

31. She would have been a career woman but she chose to be a hands-on mother

32. She loved my father unconditionally and chose to stick to the promise of ‘til death do us part

33. She has a best friend from Australia named Susan

34. She is very grateful for her cousins and other relatives

35. She likes the color tangerine

36. She used to tell me about a kid who used to bully her in Elementary named Lucio 

37. My brother is her forever baby

38. My sister is her bundle of joy

39. I am her favorite and most beloved kid (Sorry guys)

40. She loves my cousins so much and treated them like her own

41. She is Nissan’s tita Darna

42. She is a mother even to other people

43. She used to massage me with vicks vaporub when I am sick 

44. Her foot is size seven

45. The last woman I introduced to her is kate

46. She doesn’t like frequent night outs nor movies, she would rather sleep

47. She has this sungki that I like so much especially when I was young 

48. She is beautiful

49. She cooks very yummy Baradibud

50. She is in love with Baguio City

51. She likes Vigan Empanada

52. She used to hide her pain, I guess that’s what all mothers do

53. She told me “kaya mo na” “kaya niyo na” before she died and

54. She loves her children above all

11 THINGS THAT SHE TAUGHT ME / I LEARNED FROM HER

1. Don’t do to other what you don’t want other to do to you

2. Family first

3. You have to move on (everytime I am in a heartbreak, kasama lagi ung linyang “hindi naman siya maganda”)

4. She taught me how to cook (ampalaya with egg is the first food that we cooked together when I was a kid)

5. Forgive, especially if you love the person

6. Do everything for people that you love

7. Love can sometimes mean sacrifice

8. Money is just money if you don’t spend it to be happy with loved ones

9. Be selfless

10. Live the life that you want

11. I learned that no matter how old I am I will always be a child longing for her mother

I know that you are happier, with God, teta, mamang, lolo, dada, nanay, Mama Mary and all the saints. One day, I will join the party too, maybe not soon, but I am certain that I’ll see you again. But until then, I will just hide the kid in me starving for a mother. Happy Birthday Mama. Happy Birthday to the woman who loved me unconditionally.

451

1. Do you like Ferrero Rocher chocolate?: Yeah I could probs eat a whole box by myself. I mean it is way too hyped, and the attention is unnecessary, but I like it nonetheless. 2. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done?: It hasn’t been seriously damaged so nothing huge...maybe just oil changes. 3. If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you chose?: Michael Kors sneakers. They’re not super pricey but they still cost a bit for a pair of sneakers, so I’d loooove to have one for myself.

4. Do you still own any clothes you had in middle school? Like what?: NO. I threw up them out years ago. Fortunately–my middle school wardrobe was barf-worthy. 5. Do you like candy canes?: Yeah but it’s only super exciting to eat them during Christmas. I’m never in the mood for them if it’s a different time of the year.

6. What genre was the last movie you saw? And was it any good?: Revolutionary Road is romantic drama. It’s one of my favorite films; it’s really, really good but it’s the kind of piece you’ll have to emotionally prepare for because it’s so heavy.

7. Do you think George Clooney was hot when he was younger?: He’s attractive then and now.  8. …what about now?: ^ 9. How many pairs of flip flops do you own?: Two or three. I don’t keep track because I hate flip flops, the thongs make my feet bleed all the time :/ 10. How old were you when you got your first Tumblr/LJ?: I made a Tumblr for the first time in like May 2010, so I had just turned 12. 11. Remember Teen Ink? Did you ever submit anything to them?: Never heard of it. 12. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers?: Not anymore. I keep in touch with some but only barely – that’s to say I’m still friends with them on Facebook/following them on Twitter, but that’s it. I don’t talk to them, except for one who’s a little cooler and more understanding than the rest of the more conservative teachers I had. 3. Do you have Twitter? What do you mostly use it for?: Yes, it’s my favorite social media. That’s where I put everything – life, feelings, annoyances, sad stuff, fangirling, talking to my friends. 14. What color is your cell phone?: Space gray. 15. How many cell phones have you had in your lifetime?: 7. 16. Does your family still use the home phone or are you all on cell phones now?: Yes. The older generation and even company offices will still prefer landline so it’s common to see home phones everywhere. 17. How old were you when you got your first cell phone?: I had mine on my 7th birthday. The kids around me were starting to get their own phones and I got super envious, so it was what I asked for. Looking back, it’s an insanely young age to get a phone and I probably wouldn’t do the same for my kids. 18. Enough with the phones. When is/was your 21st birthday?: This year! 19. What color was the dress you wore to your senior prom?: I didn’t have a senior prom. My prom was in junior year and it was a shade of gold/beige; I don’t really remember. I hated prom and I deleted all photos and memories from that night. I was also invited to a senior ball though and for that night I had a royal blue gown. 20. Ever go to another school’s prom?: Not prom, but another school’s senior ball. 21. Ever take melatonin supplements to help you go to sleep?: Nope. 22. Do you like burning candles or incense?: I’d enjoy it if I encountered them, but I don’t buy them for myself or know anyone who uses them regularly. 23. Do you like doing laundry?: My mom prefers to do everyone’s laundry by herself and it kinda frustrates me cos I want her to start like, teaching me or something so I’ll know how to do it when the time comes. She’s not though, so I guess I’ll have to teach myself. 24. Ever throw a pair of your shoes in the washing machine? How did they come out?: No. Is that allowed??? 25. Do you own a real pair of Uggs?: No. 26. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do in there?: No. I live nowhere near the woods. 27. Favorite pizza toppings?: Barbecue sauce, chicken bits, any kind of cheese. 28. Favorite salad dressing?: I don’t really mix and match with salads so the classic caesar dressing will do (cos it’s all I know hahaha). 29. What’s the most you’d spend on a new pair of jeans?: P2,000. Google says that’s equal to more or less $38.60. 30. Do you like to wear shorts or capris in the summer?: YES. I need to wear airy, short stuff in the summer because otherwise I’d feel constricted and hot and I would be very pissy. 31. What do you think of Bermuda shorts?: Not my style. 32. What does your bathing suit look like this year?: It’s an all-black two-piece that just looks super cute on me hahaha. 33. Are you ready for summer 2018?: It’s 2019 now but I remember being meh about that summer. I enrolled in a midyear term to keep getting allowance from my parents lol, but I never wanted to go to school then, so I was still a bit miserable. 34. Did you ever use iconator.com? Are you upset that it’s gone now?: I don’t think I recognize that. 35. Speaking of AIM icons… do you still use AIM?: Isn’t it dead? 36. Do you still buy CDs?: Not anymore. The last one I got was either Paramore’s self-titled or One Direction’s Midnight Memories. Both came out in 2013 so I don’t remember which one I bought last. 37. Be honest…how much of the music in your iTunes library did you actually pay for?: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHA NONE. YouTube to MP3 was my lifeblood back then, along with the habit of downloading album art from Google Images to match to the songs so that my playlists looked legit. 38. Does your significant other ever make you mix CDs?: No, because that’s not a thing anymore. Gabie did make me a couple of personalized playlists during our first months together. 39. How often do you have to empty your text inbox because it got full?: My inbox never gets full. 40. Does your phone have a keyboard, touch screen, or neither?: Touch screen. 41. How did you dress your freshman year of high school?: I was peak wrestling fan back then so I liked wearing wrestling shirts paired with jeans, and Chucks because AJ Lee was into those. Pretty straightforward. 42. What religion are you?: I’m a frustrated atheist. 43. What color are the pajama pants you wore last?: I don’t wear pajamas to bed. 44. Were you obsessed with the Spice Girls back in the day?: I was never into them, and the only songs I know are their popular ones so I really couldn’t be any less interested. 45. What does your wallet look like?: It’s pink and has three main sections. First is for bills, second is for coins, and the third is for random receipts, papers, and extra 1x1/2x2 photos. There’s a slot for cards as well so I have my license and Starbucks and arcade cards in there, as well as several business cards I’ve been handed in the past. 46. Is your middle name embarrassing?: Not at all. I love the name Isabelle. 47. How many Facebook friends do you have? Do you add people you don’t know sometimes?: 450+. No. 48. Do you like pumpkin pie?: I’ve never tasted one. 49. What’s your favorite kind of yogurt?: I hate yogurt. 50. Do you like frozen yogurt?: ^

all of the lesbian asks, my dude

Lesbians Asks 

1 )  Femme of Butch? 

I consider myself more futch, but I like both either, all lesbians.

2 ) Do you have a “type”? If so, describe it

I have an emotional type. Someone who shares some similar interests, but has unique interests as well. Personality traits that complement each other’s, a love language I can work with. Someone with whom a relationship is an adventure and a learning experience. Someone who is adventurous with food and at least some inclination toward healthy / active lifestyles.

3 )  Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

Plaid button up under a leather jacket.

4 )  Describe your style.

Chronic pain chique? Grey tone futch with a pop of colour? 

5 )  Describe your aesthetic.

My “personal” pinterest board.

6 )  Favorite article of clothing?

My grey speckled crewneck sweatshirt. 

7 )  Favorite pair of shoes?

My running shoes, bc that’s where my orthotics are.

8 ) Current haircut? 

Just long enough to put a tiny little ponytail in it, but short enough that not all my hair fits. Also an undercut at the back.

9 )  Any haircut goals for the future?

Currently growing it out. I want it long again, which I haven’t had since I was like… 12.

10 )  Describe the best date you’ve been on.

I’m like the worst person to ask this, since I’ve only gone out with my gf. We went out for brunch on our anniversary two years ago and it was very sweet.

11 )  Describe the worst date you’ve been on.

It was with this trans guy who I didn’t know was a trans guy for the first month I knew him. He had a gender neutral (Jules) name at the time so I just thought he was butch. My friend told me that he was a trans guy and I was like “wow thank god I never misgendered him to his face”. 

He asked me  out and sort of misheard me when I said “my mom and sister love chocolate but I like savoury foods more”… so he took me to this place called Coco70 which… only sells chocolate dishes… and then we missed the more date appropriate movie we were gonna see and saw Hunger Games (2?) instead.

He was really so sweet, but I didn’t think I was right for him because he was self conscious about how much taller I am than him. He tried so hard to make it special and I appreciated that, but boy was it awkward after I told him I didn’t think I could date him anymore. 

12 )  Single? Taken? 

I’ve been in a relationship for over 5 years now, but we’re open with it. Thus I am very much open to dating other girls. 

13 )  If taken, talk about your girlfriend.

Alice is a lovely person! She adores her cat, and is an amazing writer. She’s a take no shit kind of person, and I appreciate that. She is caring to the point of stressing herself out, she loves to cook (she’s a great cook!).

14 ) If single, what are you looking for in a potential girlfriend/wife?

Everything in 11, but also someone whose idea of “clean” is complementary to mine, similar desires about kids, adventurous ideas about sex? Career ambitions? Likes cats/dogs/both? Someone who would want to be active/better our health together. 

15 )  Describe your dream wedding. 

Oh my gosh. I cannot possibly do that. I have a “weddings” board on pinterest with different ideas. Nothing too extravagant, nothing too small. Balanced. It would depend on the woman I’m marrying 100%.

16 )  Do you want kids? 

I do !  I am uncertain about the method of becoming a mother, but I’m not opposed to adopting, having a donor, myself or my partner carrying the baby (or babies). It all depends really. But yes, I want to be a mother. 

17 )  If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

Somewhere not too hot but not too cold. I’d really love to be successful enough to have condos in cities around the world. 

18 )  Favourite lesbian movie. 

God. I’m a cliche. It’s Carol (2015).

19 )  Favourite lesbian novel/story? 

Carol. Again. I need some lesbian book recs. Can I say my own? Because I’m writing my own. 

20 )  Favourite lesbian song? 

Talia by King Princess? 

21 )  Favourite lesbian musician? 

I am… uncultured… King Princess? 

22 ) What lesbian stereotypes do you fit into, if any?

I lean on everything, and dyke spread.

23 ) Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

My girlfriend’s neighbours thought I was her bc we both had buzz cuts when I visited her, despite her being like 4-5 inches shorter than me.

24 )  If a woman wanted to woo you, what would a surefire way to accomplish that?

I love having matching jewelry with who I’m dating. Get me a necklace or a ring or something and have one for you too? I’m all yours. Also my love language is “words of affirmation” and “receiving gifts”, the latter of which means that I love gifts, but it doesn’t have to be a monetary item, it could be a cool rock.

25 )  Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

Not having to give men any attention. 

26 )  Are you more of a cat person or a dog person?

I like either but I enjoy cats for size and their independence. 

27 ) Turn ons. 

I need to leave a little bit of mystery. 

28 ) Turn offs?

Lack of cleanliness, condescension?

29 )   Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

I am a huge coward, and unless there is some mutual interest I just die a little until I either break tell them I want to date them or drop hints until they do? Alice and I just literally decided to be in a relationship, there was no real dating-asking.

30 )  What is your dream career?

Screenwriter, novelist, filmmaker. 

31 )  Talk about your interests or hobbies!

I write a lot, I’m working on a few novels and screenplays. You can find my work at @melrosiewrites​ which is my writeblr. I also dabble in photoshop, and read quite a bit. 

32 )  What is the most attractive quality a woman can have?

Usually her face. A nice smile is very captivating. 

33 )  Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

It would be nice not to get petty crushes on all my friends. Does that say enough? 

34 ) Ever fallen for your best-friend?

Nope.

35 )  Ever fallen for a straight girl?

Nope.

36 ) The L-Word: yes or no? (love it or hate it?)

I watched it. I was a bit young for it. What a mess. 

37 )  Favorite comfort food?

French fries? Sushi?

38 ) Coffee or tea? 

Tea, with honey. 

39 )  Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above? 

Omnivore, but not against going more plant based. Definitely prepared to accommodate someone’s diet (choice or allergy based). I would like to buy more organic, free range, meat. 

40 )  Do you have any pets. 

Not at the moment. 

41 )  Early riser, or night owl? 

I prefer being up early, but I don’t like alarm clocks, I’d rather the sunlight wake me. I go to bed at like 10 PM. 

42 )  What is your sign?

Taurus. 

43 )  Can you drive? 

I cannot. 

44 )  Who was your first lesbian crush? 

The only openly gay girl in my highschool, who’s a little dumb bc I told her twice that I liked her, but she was very surprised when I told her the second time. She is so butch and now she’s married and a mom! Her wife is expecting their child soon. I’m so happy for her.

45 )  At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

I knew I wasn’t straight when I was like 14? But I identified as bi for most of highschool. I only decided I was a lesbian when I was 18. 

46 )  At what age did you come out (if you have)?

Probably soldily after I got with Alice. So, a little over 5 years ago. 

47 ) Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

I would marry Sarah Paulson in a heartbeat. Okay. Otherwise. No serious crushes.

48 ) Talk about how your day went. 

I bought maroon gloves that match my scarf, three face masks and those loopy hairbands before class, then bought Timmies for lunch, and have been answering all of these while listening to a guest lecturer in my “the city after dark” class. I’m going to help a family friend with her daughter’s birthday party after.

49 )  Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future.

Able to afford everything I need to better my health and maintain my health. My dream wardrobe, my dream home (homes?). I want to be challenged in my creative passions, and I want to share them and be a well known screenwriter and filmmaker. 

50 ) Least favourite gay celebrity? 

Uh. Aub*ey Pl*za? She said something a bit distasteful and a bit transphobic a while back, but otherwise I just don’t really like her vibe. Not too deep. 

Chile's government distributed faulty birth control pills. Now more than 150 people are pregnant. Santiago, Chile — In Chile’s arid Atacama desert, Tabita Daza Rojas is trying to scrape together enough money to finish construction on her home before her baby, due anyday, arrives. Eight hundred kilometers to the south, in La Pintana, a suburb of the capital Santiago, Cynthia González is nursing her 2-month-old boy. But she needs to buy milk to supplement her body’s supply, and is worried about how she’ll afford it. Without the option to legally terminate their pregnancies, if they wanted to, or any real accountability from the government or the drug companies, the women, represented by the Chilean sexual and reproductive rights group Corporación Miles, are preparing to file a class action lawsuit in the civil courts. In a region where barriers to women’s reproductive rights are the norm, CNN has identified a government health agency quick to shift the blame to these women, as well as a history of poor production quality and previous issues relating to oral contraceptives in Grünenthal’s Chilean factory — its gateway to Latin America. Tabita Rojas’ story In March 2020, after discovering an ovarian cyst her physician worried could have been caused by her contraceptive implant, Rojas’s doctor at her local health clinic advised she take the pill instead, prescribing Anulette CD. Rojas didn’t give the switch much thought; she had taken oral contraceptives before and agreed it made sense for her health. Plus, after giving up her place on a forensic criminology program at 17 because she’d gotten pregnant, the now 29-year-old was once again excited about her future. “I had to put all that aside and dedicate myself to my son,” said Rojas, who had a second child two years later, and provides for her family by doing seasonal work at a grape packing plant. By early 2020, however, things were changing. Her children — boys now aged 11 and 9 years old, both with learning difficulties — were more independent, and were spending more time with their father. As part of a government urbanization in her hometown Copiapó, Rojas had been given a small piece of land on which to build a house. She had been saving up money and planned to move out of the home she and her children had been sharing with three other family members. And, she was in love. Early on in the relationship, Rojas and her boyfriend had decided not to have children together. “It was going to be impossible to provide for someone else,” she said. But in September 2020, just five months after Rojas began taking Anulette, she found out she was pregnant again. She would later learn, after seeing it posted on Facebook, that her tablets were from a batch that had been recalled by Chile’s public health authority, the Instituto de Salud Pública de Chile (ISP) the month before. “I was about to finish the second [box of three prescribed] when I found out about the problem,” she said. By then she was already six weeks pregnant. On February 21, 2021, Chile’s health authority wrote Tabita Rojas in response to her questions about the Anulette CD controversy. (R) The ISP’s August 24, 2020 alert recalling the first batch of defective Anulette pills. Source: Tabita Rojas, ISP Rojas’ neo-natal ultrasound in September 2020 revealed she was approximately 6 weeks pregnant. Source: Tabita Rojas The blister packs of the Anulette CD birth control pills Rojas had taken for nearly three months before finding out they had been recalled in August 2020. Source: Tabita Rojas ‘I was never happy with this pregnancy’ The details may differ but similar scenarios have been playing out across Chile. A mother of four, González, who had been on Anulette for eight months, got pregnant for the fifth time in May 2020. She tells CNN that she took her contraceptive “religiously every morning,” before adding: “Because we women set an alarm for those kinds of pills.” The news devastated her. Her personal life was complicated and her finances extremely limited after she lost the market stall where she sold second-hand clothes. “I was never happy with this pregnancy,” González said. “If you only knew all the nights I spent crying thinking that I didn’t want to [have the baby]. I had no options.” Alluding to Chile’s strict abortion laws that forbid a woman from terminating a pregnancy except for three reasons (if the pregnancy is a result of rape, if the fetus is incompatible with life outside the womb, or if a woman’s life is at risk), González spoke about her upset and how she tried to conceal her growing tummy. “I hid the pregnancy for a long time, so that they wouldn’t ask me: ‘Hey, another child, and whose is it, because you are no longer with your husband’ — and having to explain that we were separated. It was already a complicated situation for me, let alone to go around telling everyone.” Anulette CD is a 28-day combined oral contraceptive — one of the most common forms of birth control. It contains synthetic versions of the hormones estrogen and progesterone, which are produced naturally by the ovaries. The hormones work to prevent ovulation — meaning no egg is released by the ovaries — as well as thicken the lining of the cervix to make it harder for sperm to pass through. The pill also makes the lining of the uterus thinner so that if an egg is fertilized it cannot implant and begin to grow. Pill regimens typically involve taking 21 “active” pills that contain the hormones and seven “non-active” or “placebo” pills, to maintain a daily routine, during which time a person bleeds. How the contraceptive pill works The menstrual cycle is the process by which the body prepares for pregnancy every month. Controlled by multiple hormones, including estrogen and progesterone, it is the time between the first day of a period and the day before the next period begins. On average the cycle lasts 28 days, but this can vary. The cycle involves ovulation, where an egg is released from one of the ovaries. Pregnancy happens when sperm enters a vagina, travels through the cervix and uterus (womb) to the fallopian tubes and fertilizes a released egg. Once fertilized, the egg starts to grow, traveling to and implanting itself into the lining of the uterus. When an egg isn’t fertilised and pregnancy doesn’t happen, the egg is reabsorbed into the body and the thickened lining of the uterus sheds and exits the vagina as a period. Birth control pills work by controlling the menstrual cycle, to prevent pregnancy. There are many different types of birth control pill but one of the most common is the 28-day combined oral contraceptive. With these, you take one pill every day, at the same time, for 28 days. The first 21 pills are active, as they contain artificial versions of estrogen and progesterone. The remaining seven pills in the packet are inactive pills that contain no hormones, often referred to as “sugar pills” or “placebos.” The 21 active pills prevent ovulation, meaning that no egg will be released from the ovaries. They also help to prevent pregnancy by thickening the mucus around the entrance to the womb, making it harder for sperm to enter and reach an egg, and by making the lining of the uterus thinner, so if an egg is fertilised there is less chance of it implanting into the women and being able to grow. In the case of the women in Chile – the pills that they were provided were defective according to the ISP. In one batch, the placebo (a blue pill) had been found where the active pills (a yellow pill) should have been, and vice versa. In another batch there were missing and crushed pills. Users say these instances resulted in unwanted pregnancies. Source: American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, Healthline, Planned Parenthood, UK National Health Service (NHS) The first batch — 139,160 packs of Anulette pills, according to its manufacturer — were recalled on August 24, 2020 after healthcare workers at a rural healthcare clinic complained that they had identified 6 packets of defective pills. In them — based on information from the ISP — the placebo (a blue pill) had been found where the active pills (a yellow pill) should have been, and vice versa. In its online notice, published on August 29, the ISP said that the makers of Anulette CD, a company called Laboratorios Silesia S.A. (Silesia), had been made aware and were withdrawing the defective lot. The ISP then advised health centers to quarantine any packets they had from the affected batches. Then, a tweet was sent from the ISP account alerting its followers to the recall. But without a nationwide campaign to more directly inform the public, the recall went largely unnoticed. A week after the first recall, on September 3, the same error was detected in 6 packets from a different batch at a clinic in Santiago. Here, tablets were also missing, but others were crushed, according to the ISP. By the time the problems were flagged, Silesia said it had already distributed 137,730 packs to health centers. This time the ISP said it would be suspending Silesia’s registration until the laboratory was able to improve its quality and production processes. But it was too little, too late. In total, according to the manufacturer’s own accounts, 276,890 packets of Anulette CD from the two defective lots — all with a January 2022 expiry date — had been distributed to family planning centers across Chile. Surprisingly, on September 8, less than a week after Silesia’s suspension, the ISP issued another document reversing its earlier decision. In the memo, which was uploaded to its website, the health authority said Anulette CD could once again be distributed. It claimed that the flaws in the packaging could be easily detected, and passed the responsibility of doing so, and of informing users of the service, onto healthcare workers. The Ministry of Health told CNN in an emailed statement that they informed the public health service “to inform users of this situation and take pertinent actions,” and said that they provided support and counseling for reproductive health workers to support “women who may have been affected by problems in the quality of contraceptives.” But Rojas said she was only informed by her local clinic about the defective pills after she went in for a prenatal checkup. And Rodriguez told CNN no one has contacted her. ISP director Heriberto Garcia defended the decision to put Anulette back on the market, saying in a video interview with CNN: “Just because it [one pack] belongs to the batch doesn’t mean it was bad.” “We expect that there are many more women with this problem, especially because the State has not claimed any responsibility.” Laura Dragnic, legal coordinator at Corporación Miles So, it was left to Chilean civil society to raise the alarm. The sexual and reproductive rights group, Miles, ran a social media campaign and used its networks to get the word out. “It was after [posting on Instagram] when we started receiving emails from people saying that they were already pregnant because they were consuming Anulette,” said Miles’ legal coordinator Laura Dragnic. By October 2020, some 40 women had gotten in touch. According to Miles, following multiple media appearances by its staff, another 70 women came forward. The number now stands at 170, but Dragnic expects it to grow as rural women or those without access to the internet or television are still to be reached. “We expect that there are many more women with this problem,” she said, “especially because the State has not claimed any responsibility and has not made any statements or any serious compromises [to the abortion rules] for the affected women.” Seven days after Dragnic spoke to CNN, and six months after the first recall, the health authorities announced that Anulette’s manufacturers had been charged a series of fines totalling approximately 66.5m Chilean pesos (approximately USD $92,000). Miles and their partners are calling for the government to pay financial reparations to the affected women, and to provide access to safe and legal abortions for those who wish to terminate their pregnancy. Multiple recalls at Grünenthal’s Santiago factory Grünenthal, in whose Santiago factory Anulette CD is manufactured, began operating in Chile in 1979. The privately-owned German pharmaceutical company, which reported a €340 million (US $405 million) profit in the 2019-2020 fiscal year, is best known for its product tramadol, an opiate pain killer, classified as a controlled substance in numerous countries. In 2017, the company increased its Chilean investments by opening what it called “Latin America’s most modern women’s health products plant” — a US $14.5m facility. While only a small part of Grünenthal’s portfolio, the investment was enough to place it among “the three biggest pharmaceutical companies in Chile.” But CNN has uncovered that production issues began soon after the factory opened, and have affected a range of oral contraceptives marketed not just by Silesia S.A. but also Grünenthal’s other Chilean subsidiary, Andrómaco. In 2018, Tinelle, a contraceptive pill from Silesia’s portfolio, was voluntarily taken off the market after a decision to switch the sequence of the active and placebo tablets (keeping the same numbers of each but placing them in a different order) which — by the Grunenthal spokesperson, Florian Dieckmann’s admission — “confused [patients] about the new sequence of the pills.” Dieckmann said that the pills were put back on the market after Silesia “further clarified the instruction on the aluminium foil on how to follow the right sequence of tablets.” Two further oral contraceptives, Minigest 15 and 20, manufactured by Andrómaco at the Grünenthal Chilean plant, were recalled in October 2020 after the public health authority, the ISP, said that they were found during stability testing to contain an insufficient amount of the active ingredient: the hormones. Grunenthal’s spokesperson said that at the time of packaging, the tablets had “the correct amount of active ingredient” in them, adding that the “tablets are exposed to excessive temperatures and humidity over the products entire shelf life under laboratory conditions” and that it is “unlikely that the tablets are exposed to these conditions for a long time in real world circumstances. Based on a Freedom of Information request by Miles, which CNN then followed up on, the production of Anulette CD has had the most problems, according to the ISP’s own records. Between August 6 and November 18, 2020, health clinics across Chile reported a wide range of issues with the pills including small holes found in the tablets; pills that had orange and black spots; wet and crushed tablets; and packaging that wouldn’t release the entire pill effectively, leaving trace amounts of the pill stuck inside. In total, the ISP received 26 different complaints about 15 different batches of Anulette pills, yet only 2 batches were recalled. “It is important to clarify that not all complaints of the products end in market recalls,” the ISP explained. “Those that are withdrawn…are those in which critical defects are detected and this was the case of the recalled batches.” Aside from publishing details of the above recalls on its website, the ISP allegedly did little else to notify women, and despite its apparent challenges, Grünenthal remains the Chilean government’s leading provider of oral contraceptives. According to the ISP, 382,871 women are prescribed Anulette CD, and between May 2019 and January 2020, Grünenthal secured at least US $2.2 million in contracts that CNN has seen. The Ministry of Health did not answer CNN’s written questions and declined an invitation to be interviewed. The blame game While no one is denying the production problems, Grünenthal, its Chilean subsidiaries and government representatives, all seem intent on shifting some of the blame away from the faulty packets of the pill and onto each other. Dieckmann explained that the company discovered that the problems stemmed from an issue on the production line issue which caused some pills to move during the packaging process. That led to some packages with “empty cavities, some tablets misplaced or crushed tablets,” he said but stressed that the efficacy of the contraceptive had not been compromised. The spokesperson also pointed out that combined oral contraceptives are not 100% effective. According to the World Health Organization, the combined oral contraceptive pill every year results in less than 1 pregnancy in every 100, “with consistent and correct use.” “So I think it’s important background, right?” Dieckmann said, noting that those statistics rise when the pill isn’t taken consistently or correctly. “I’m not trying to say that it’s the woman’s fault,” Dieckmann said, before adding that correct and consistent use was a “factor that I think we have to look at here.” “Women say, ‘I was on the pill, I still became pregnant — why is that?’ That’s what’s happened,” he said, referencing the statistics. The Grünenthal spokesperson told CNN that the company could not speak to their individual cases, as it has not been directly contacted by any of the affected women. Addressing the controversy on the Chilean public broadcaster in December 2020, Silesia’s medical director, Leonardo Lourtau, said in addition to the company being responsible for visually checking the packaging, health officials should have also done so and, “obviously, the people who take the medicine as well.” And Garcia of the ISP suggested it was important to look at how birth control efficacy might change when interacting in the body with other products, such as antibiotics, tobacco or alcohol. “I am not saying that she has drunk a lot of alcohol or that she is a smoker, but I am telling you the background.” Despite Garcia’s assertions, most reproductive health experts widely agree that there is no evidence to suggest that smoking diminishes the effectiveness of the pill; that alcohol will only do so if a person throws up soon after taking it; and that only one type of antibiotic, those based on rifampicin, can affect oral contraceptives. ‘Systemic failures’ Drug recalls are not unusual, but it is hard for those campaigning on behalf of the women not to perceive an injustice here: Grünenthal continues to see its factory as the key to reaching 168 million women in Latin America, while the women who take its products have to remain vigilant or risk pregnancy. The risk is heightened, reproductive rights groups say, by the fact that these women, already poor and marginalized, can’t count on the robust support of the government should the undesired happen. Paula Avila Guillen, Executive Director at the New York Women’s Equality Center, a not-for-profit that advocates for and monitors reproductive rights in Latin America, told CNN that if the recall was about bad meat, the entire country would have known immediately, and the product immediately taken off the market. “But when it comes to women and reproductive health, they just don’t care,” she lamented. And so, Miles and its partners, writing to the Inter-American Commission on Human Rights and to the United Nations, have called the situation “a clear situation of systemic discrimination against women.” Meanwhile, back in Copiapó, at 38 weeks pregnant, Rojas has now accepted her fate. She will once again have to put aside her dreams for the future of her child, another baby boy. They’ll name him Fernando. Read more from the As Equals series Edited by Eliza Anyangwe. Additional editing by Meera Senthilingam and Henrik Pettersson. Animation by Melody Shih and Jeffrey Hsu Web, and development by Marco Chacon. Source link Orbem News #Birth #Chiles #Control #distributed #Faulty #Government #People #pills #Pregnant