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spine-buster · 4 years

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l i p s l i k e t h e g a l a x y ’ s e d g e | elias pettersson

Summary: Every new relationship has its growing pains, its ups and downs. But Svea and Elias are back in Sweden, where everything is perfect. And besides, they were best friends before they started their relationship. So are the growing pains the same?

Word Count: ~14.3k

A/N: Have I become obsessed with Elias Pettersson? Mayhaps. Am I gonna do anything about it????? NO!!!!!!!!!! Some more Incredibly Soft Bitch™ hours here, along with some light smut which hopefully makes for a good time. I’d love to hear your thoughts on part two!

PART ONE - MADE OF OUTER SPACE //

Svea promised Elias she was going to make waffles.

She stood in his kitchen in his apartment in Sundsvall, the morning sun illuminating the apartment as she opened all the windows to let the light in. Before she did anything for the waffles, she made coffee. After – and only after – she had her first sip did she take out all the ingredients they had bought yesterday: fresh strawberries and blueberries, the pure maple syrup they’d smuggled back from Vancouver; and, of course, all the necessities for the waffles. After washing the fruit and slicing the strawberries, she plugged in the waffle iron to heat it up and began measuring everything into a bowl and whisking it all together.

It was only then that she felt a pair of arms snake around her midsection, making her jump at the unexpected touch. When she got over her initial shock, she placed her hands over his arms. She could feel his lips kiss her neck and drag their way up to her ear. She closed her eyes and had to keep herself from sighing. “Good morning, Elias.”

He hummed into her skin to acknowledge what she said, but continued to kiss along her neck and jawline. His hands slipped underneath her shirt – his shirt, technically – and onto the exposed skin of her stomach. Except he didn’t just stop there; he kept moving higher and higher, cupping her breasts in his hands. She couldn’t hold in her sigh anymore, letting out a breathy sigh as she gripped onto the edge of the countertop. She could feel him press up against her back. “Elias…”

“That’s my shirt, pretty girl,” he mumbled against her skin.

“Yeah…” she tried to collect herself. “So what? I’ve been wearing your shirts for days now,” she said, because it was the truth. They’d gotten back to Sweden almost two weeks ago, and after visiting and catching up with family the first week, they’d retreated back to his apartment in Sundsvall. In that time, they’d been…busy. Elias had apparently wanted to keep his promise about making up for lost time and making love on every room and surface of his apartment. They’d been exploring, so to speak: what they liked and didn’t like; what set them off and what didn’t; what drove them crazy and what they could do without. It was a definite learning curve for two shy people who didn’t have any experience with anyone but each other, but that was the exact thing that kept them both sane – that they were learning together. As corny as it sounded, it was their saving grace. They were shy, but they didn’t have to be shy with each other. They were quiet, but they didn’t have to be quiet with each other.

When he began to nip at the skin of her neck, Svea bit her lip. She couldn’t believe he still wanted it, barely awake and his voice still sleepy, after all the sex they’d been having. He even had the audacity to pinch her nipples quickly, causing her to squirm. “Elias…”

“Come back to bed,” he whispered in her ear.

It took everything in her to shake her head and deny him. If only because she was actually looking forward to the waffles. “But what about your waffles? These ingredients will be wasted.”

Elias stopped his movements. He looked at everything on the counter and the waffle iron heating up, and he came to his senses. “You’re making me choose between waffles and sex?”

Svea snorted. “I think I am.”

“How dare you.”

They both broke out into a fit of giggles. His arms around her waist loosened, but he put his hands on her hips to spin her around. “Give me one kiss and I’ll leave you alone.”

“I doubt that.”

“I promise,” his tone was begging. “One kiss.”

Svea digressed. She stood on her tip-toes (the problem of someone who was only five-foot-two) and wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he craned his neck down (the problem of someone who was six-foot-two) to kiss her. When their lips met, there was a fire ignited inside Svea and Elias that they’d gotten used to over the last few days. Elias put so much passion into the kiss – as he did with every kiss – but she knew there was more to this one because he wanted to leave her completely dazed. His lips practically engulfed hers and his tongue filled her mouth. She couldn’t help but moan into the kiss, especially as he finished it off, biting down on her bottom lip and dragging it away with him, leaving her wanting so much more.

“Fuck you, Elias,” she barely got out, keeping her eyes closed to savour the moment.

“I’ve been trying to convince you to but you want to make waffles instead.”

Okay, that brought her back to the present. She glared at him before pinching his arm and shoving him away playfully so she could get back to the bowl of waffle mix. “Get out of the kitchen.”

When the waffles were finished and plated as fashionably as Svea could present them, she brought them outside to the balcony where Elias was waiting patiently. He smiled as it was placed in front of him, taking his phone out and snapping a picture of it. “It looks better than the Vancouver ones we get,” he said.

“No they don’t,” Svea laughed. “Stop trying to butter me up so you can have sex with me after.” She paused for dramatic effect. “I’ll do it anyway.”

They ate in relative silence, admiring the stillness of the morning and the sound of the water splashing up against the bottom of the building. The city was just waking up, and from across the harbour Svea could see a few cars on the road. The tranquility of Sundsvall was what she loved: it was a city (at least compared to Ånge), but not too big, the people were nice and unobtrusive, and, of course, being on the water was beautiful. The Bottenhavet was practically always freezing but it was still her favourite, and she loved to jog along the paths in the city that were carved near the water. She’d take similar jogs around the water in Vancouver, mainly in David Lam Park since it was so close to the apartment, but it wasn’t the same. She absolutely loved Vancouver, and could see herself living there for a very long time, perhaps always, but it wasn’t home. Home was Sweden. Home is Sweden. Home was the streets of Ågne and Sundsvall and Timrå and Stockholm and everything in between; home was the drives she and her family would take all around Sweden to see the country; home was dad’s homemade Swedish meatballs and mom’s pickled herring and Sigrid’s egg coffee recipe that was to die for; home was Irene’s warm hugs and Torbjörn’s infections smile and Emil’s dumb jokes.

Home was sitting on a balcony with Elias eating homemade waffles and having him look into her blue eyes like they held the water of the seven seas.

When they were finished, Svea moved to lie down on the couch as Elias brought the plates to the kitchen. When he came back outside, he practically collapsed on top of her. He lay his head on her chest, wrapping one arm around her while the other snuck underneath his shirt she was wearing, feeling her skin, not caring how much he was pushing it up. Svea began running her fingers through his hair and he practically purred at the action.

Svea could feel his breathing steady, and she wondered if he really did fall asleep again as he lay on top of her. When she felt his thumb draw circles along the skin of her ribcage, she got her answer. That was nice, because she had some things on her mind.

“Elias?” she asked finally in her trademark sweet voice.

“Svea?” he asked back, mimicking the sweetness.

She made sure to keep running her fingers through his hair. “Were you lying to me when you told me you bought this place because you know how much I like the water?”

“Of course not,” he said. He remembered telling her at Brock’s house in Minnesota when they were in a situation similar to this one, and he didn’t regret it. It wasn’t something he would be able to keep a secret forever. “Why would you think I was lying?”

“I don’t know…” she said uneasily. She sighed slightly. “I just…I just didn’t really think you made big decisions like that with me in mind.”

Elias looked up at her. “Svea, I only make big decisions like that with you in mind.”

“Really?”

He nuzzled his head back against her chest. “I wanted to put your name on the deed with mine but my lawyer and my mom said I should talk to you about it first so I didn’t scare you,” he mumbled.

Svea’s body stiffened. Elias felt it, and looked up at her again. “Elias, you can’t be serious.”

“Why wouldn’t I be serious?”

“This is a whole apartment.”

“So?”

“Elias.”

He made a face, pushing himself further up her body so he could kiss her. His lips were so soft and for a moment, Svea forgot about everything. He had that effect on her. “It was always going to be this way. Don’t you think? You were always going to be in my life. I was always going to be in yours. There was never anything that was going to separate us.”

“I know,” she nodded her head confidently. “I just…I don’t know. But we were just best friends, Elias. It’s not like we were together like we are now.”

Elias shrugged his shoulders. “That didn’t matter to me,” he said. “I would have given you everything, even if you didn’t ask. I still would.” He paused for a moment. “You know that, right Svea? You have to know that. I’d give you anything.”

Svea nodded her head silently. She did know. She always knew. It was just different hearing it said out loud, confirmed by Elias now that they were actually together and in a relationship, rather than just best friends. It was a dichotomy of everything feeling new, yet already knowing every sentiment – that he loved her, that he’d give her the world if he could. So instead of thinking about it anymore, she acted. She kissed him again, and as they kept kissing, he moaned, and as he moaned, Svea felt him getting hard against her thigh, and as she felt him get harder, she grinded her hips into his desperately, and as she grinded her hips, he took off her bottoms, and she took off his, and suddenly, there were pantsless on his balcony.

“I want to be on top this time,” she mumbled as Elias kissed down her neck.

He audibly groaned at her request. “Get on top, then,” he said quickly, wrapping his arms around her and leaning back, bringing her body with him.

Svea lowered herself on top of him slowly, but once he bottomed out, they both moaned out in pleasure. She kept her top on, because it was one of Elias’s Tre Kronor shirts, and she knew he found it hot. His hands squeezed her thighs as he looked up at her through hooded eyes. “You were always meant to be here,” he mumbled out. “On top of me. Under me. Beside me. Wherever. But with me.”

Svea nodded her head as she began to rock back and forth. “I know.”

“And if I have anything to do with it, you’ll always be on top of me,” he made a quick joke.

Svea smiled as she slapped his chest. He leaned forward to give her a cheeky kiss. “I love you, Elias,” she said.

“I love you too, Svea.”

>< >< >< >< ><

“Tequiiiiiiilllllllllaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!”

Elias let Tequila lick his face as she wagged her tail and barked excitedly. Emil and Fanny laughed as Elias got on his knees and Tequila practically climbed on top of him, way too excited to see him. He lay down with her on top of him. “Oh, God,” Emil chuckled, shaking his head. “This is never gonna end now. We may as well all just leave them together.”

“I haven’t seen her in months,” Elias mumbled in between him giving Tequila kisses and Tequila slobbering kisses all over him. “Let me be.”

“Is that what it’s like in bed with him, Svea?”

Elias kicked his brother’s shin, causing Emil to yelp out in pain. Fanny followed up with a slap to the arm. Comments like this were to be expected from Emil after they told their families. Everybody was so nonchalant about it that Elias and Svea were almost offended. “Oh, finally?” was her mother’s and Sigrid’s reaction. Her father had the gall to joke, “Weren’t you two always together?”. Torbjörn asked, “Okay…and?” and Irene actually said, “Are we supposed to be surprised?”. Suffice to say, Elias and Svea did not get the reaction they thought they would. It was part hilarious, part annoying.

“She’s good with two longer walks or three short walks a day,” Fanny explained. “Always with the harness. And she eats when we eat – well, right after we eat. The cup to measure is in the kibble bag. And the cats – we try to brush them twice a week. They eat at the same time as Tequila—”

“You told us! We know how to take care of animals, Fanny,” Elias said as he rubbed Tequila’s belly.

“Quiet!” Svea shushed him. “They’re her babies, Elias.” She turned back to Fanny. “Go on.”

“She’s good with the crate at night, but if she gets fussy just put a treat in there. It works every time,” Fanny continued. “And…I think that’s it? I’ll still be available by text if anything happens.”

“I’ll make sure to send you daily pupdates,” Svea smiled. “Have fun with your family.”

“Are you kids going to be okay in the big bad city all alone?” Emil joked again.

They were back in Ånge, which made his joke all the more nuanced. “We can call the neighbours if we feel scared at night,” Svea said. “Hopefully they have an extra bed.”

“Extra two beds. I don’t want any funny business while we’re away that leads to a niece or nephew in nine months.”

Elias kicked him in the shin again. “Fanny, you guys gotta go now before I beat him up.”

The girls hugged as Emil got into the driver’s seat of the car. Elias finally stood up and made Tequila sit as they waved at Emil and Fanny. They drove away slowly, and once they were out of sight, Elias turned to Svea. “Alone in Ånge,” he smiled.

“It sounds like the title of a horror movie.”

Elias snorted, shaking his head. “I’m serious. I don’t think I’ve ever been alone in Ånge for years.”

He made a point. Svea’s parents were already in Torremolinos, Spain, for an extended vacation. Elias had made sure to buy his parents a trip to the Algarve in Portugal so they could spend some time in the southern European sun, too. Sigrid was in Stockholm, as she usually was, and now, Emil and Fanny were going on a quick camping vacation with her family. Elias and Svea were tasked to take care of all the animals while Emil and Fanny were gone for the week. As if they needed to be asked. “You’re actually right,” Svea commented. “No family to visit or spend time with. What are we going to do with ourselves now that no-one is here?”

“We could rent all the Austin Powers movies again and eat every chip bag in the city,” Elias smiled.

“Or we could rent The Prince and Me and I can fantasize about falling in love with a Danish prince and making out with him in the stacks of the library,” Svea wiggled her eyebrows.

Elias feigned hurt in his face. “You fantasize about that when you have a Swedish boyfriend right here?”

She shrugged innocently. “Maybe.”

“How about we watch Brooklyn 9-9 instead,” Elias offered.

“So I can fantasize about Jake Peralta?”

Elias grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him playfully, leaning down to kiss her so she’d shut up. “You’re killing me here,” he mumbled against her lips. “Should I put on a detective outfit?”

Svea giggled uncontrollably as she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him again. “How about I go to the supermarket to load up on snacks, and you get Tequila settled in and pick something for us to watch?”

Elias smiled. “You trust me to pick something?”

“We’ll probably end up making out halfway through anyway.”

He kissed her again. “I made the smartest decision of my fucking life.”

Svea went inside Elias’s parents’ house briefly to get the keys to the car, driving quickly to the supermarket to pick up a couple of bags of chips, but also some crackers and different cheeses so they could class it up a little bit. Knowing Elias, he would appreciate the “healthier” option. She quickly grabbed a basket and began roaming through the store, picking up the crackers and a slice of brie, her favourite.

“Svea? Is that you?” she heard a voice behind her. She whipped around to see a familiar face – Emma Gardner, an old classmate that she had a few classes with in high school. They’d kept in touch on and off, but there was no bad blood between them when they didn’t talk, and Svea knew there wasn’t a bad bone in Emma’s body. “Oh my God, I thought I heard that you’d be back in town for the summer!”

The two girls hugged, warm and friendly and with an easiness that two friends who hadn’t seen each other in a while always had. “Yeah, I’ve been back in Sundsvall for a while now, but back in Ånge for at least a week with Elias watching Emil and Fanny’s dog,” Svea explained.

“Of course,” Emma smiled. “Where you are, Elias isn’t far behind. Look at Vancouver.”

“Exactly,” Svea giggled, loving how Emma framed it. Svea always made a point about Elias following her to Vancouver and not the other way around, and although she usually said it in a joking manner, she was glad the sentiment was catching on with others. Elias would even say the same thing, so it wasn’t like he cared how he looked like in the situation.

“Listen, if you’re in town for the week, Jonas and I are having a dinner party on Friday,” Emma said. “Just something small, you know how it is. It would be lovely if you and Elias came. I know Jonas would love seeing him again.”

Svea smiled. “I’m sure he’d love to see Jonas again too. I’ll mention it to him,” she said. “Do you want me to make anything?”

“Everybody is preparing a main dish,” Emma said. “Make whatever you want and then bring it over my parents’ place at seven. They’re in Gothenburg visiting Sara.”

“Will do.”

Emma gave her one last, big, genuine smile. “It’s so nice to see old friends again,” she mused. “We all change so much but when we get together, it’s like everything is still the same.”

>< >< >< >< ><

Elias made sure to get all his kisses in before he and Svea walked over to Emma Gardner’s house, Svea holding a tray of homemade sesame chicken while he carried a bottle of wine. They didn’t hold hands, because Elias didn’t want people to know. And they weren’t going to tell anybody tonight; as far as everyone else was concerned, they were still just best friends. It was a mutual decision, but one provoked by Elias. It wasn’t that he was ashamed; it was just that he was already the subject of a lot of gossip in Ånge, and he didn’t want to be the subject of more. Not only that – and more importantly – he didn’t want Svea to be the subject of gossip at all. People their age knowing they finally got together wouldn’t shut up about it. He wanted everything and everyone to be quiet. If he had it his way, everyone would find out when they were out of Ånge and back in Vancouver. That way he didn’t have to talk about it. That way he didn’t have to field questions from old classmates about how they got together.

They arrived at the house, Elias handing Jonas the bottle of wine and Svea handing the dish of sesame chicken to Emma, who took it happily and immediately placed it on the dining table as Elias and Svea took off their shoes. They saw three familiar faces in the apartment – old schoolmates Erik, Kristina, and Oliver – and met three new faces: Magnus, Kristina’s boyfriend; Axel, Oliver’s boyfriend, and Oscar, a university friend of Jonas’s who was visiting from Karlstad.

The wine was already poured. Everyone was standing in around in the living room chatting when Elias and Svea arrived, and they were just waiting for one more couple – Brigitte, another former classmate, and her boyfriend Soren. The boys in attendance were pretty thrilled to see Elias, and they immediately stole him away from Svea, asking about hockey – the NHL, Vancouver, and the girls. Svea settled into conversation with the ladies, telling them about school and Vancouver – the restaurants, the nightlife, the boys.

When the doorbell rang and old classmate Brigitte Danielsson walked through the door, an older boyfriend in tow who introduced himself as Soren Hölmberg, Svea tried not to let her disdain show. She never liked Brigitte. Pretentious in high school despite having no reason to be, Brigitte would use her good looks and conniving charm to make friends, get ahead, and ultimately get what she wanted. Svea couldn’t ever imagine thinking she was better than someone else, so Brigitte’s general attitude always baffled her.

Emma asked Svea to run to the fridge to get the white wine out of the freezer. Brigitte followed behind her to uncork her bottle of red. “Why am I not surprised to see you and Elias coming together?” Brigitte smiled like the Cheshire cat as she stuck the corkscrew into the top of the bottle.

“There’s no reason you should be. You know what Elias and I are like,” Svea brushed off the comment, waiting to use the same corkscrew.

“So nothing has changed since high school?”

“We’re still best friends, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“So neither of you have moved on,” Brigitte commented.

Svea bit her tongue. She wanted to say so much to Brigitte but knew she couldn’t. At least, not here. If Svea saw her at the supermarket at any point during her remaining time in Ånge she’d give her a piece of her mind. Beyond that, the last thing Brigitte said to her before they went into the kitchen together was “hi”. It was a bit forward talking about something so personal with a person you haven’t seen in almost three years, Svea thought. “There was no reason to move on. What would we have moved on to?”

“I don’t know,” Brigitte shrugged her shoulders, but she knew exactly what she was doing and exactly what she was implying. Svea knew Brigitte and, suffice to say, she hadn’t changed since high school. “People who are more like you. It’s hard to believe the quiet alien boy who was a prodigy in hockey and had girls flinging themselves on him left, right, and centre stuck around with the quiet girl whose head was always in a book instead of in his lap, that’s all,” she said, sliding the corkscrew across the counter before walking away and back into the dining area.

Brigitte knew nothing. Move on to people ‘more like you’? There was nobody in the world more like her than Elias. Svea rolled her eyes before uncorking the bottle and walking back to the dining table. Almost everyone had already taken their seats, and Svea found her spot beside Elias. Jonas began passing around the food. Soon, everybody’s plates were filled with food and glasses were filled with wine.

The discussion around the dinner table was mostly to do with university – once the hockey talk was over. Everyone was in varying programs, so it was mostly just a discussion of what new things everybody was learning – the things they’d read, the classes they’d taken, things that opened their eyes and things that made them think. It was a lot of shared experiences, a lot of expanded horizons for a bunch of kids from a tiny town in Sweden who went to high school in a small city in Sweden. Talks about literature they’d read – Absalom, Absalom! by William Faulkner in American Literature, The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck in Voices from the Great Depression, essays from Nick Bostrom and Per Bauhn and novellas by Ingmar Bergman. Social contracts written by Thomas Hobbes and John Locke and Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Politics in Sweden and the European Union.

That’s when things got interesting.

“You can’t honestly believe that,” Svea deadpanned to Soren as she let her ice cream liquify in her small bowl. People at the other end of the table were discussing something else, but Svea had the absolute delight of sitting across from this 26-year-old bozo who did things like say ‘To be devil’s advocate’ just so he could say something provocative or against the norm. He was that type of asshole and, in a mean-spirited fashion, Svea thought him to be a perfect match for Brigitte. “Trickle-down economics doesn’t work. I don’t know how you can think that it does. The capitalist system does not work in favour of society’s poorest citizens. It just doesn’t. Trickle-down economics was just invented by fat rich guys to give themselves tax breaks so they can hoard all their money and not pay their workers liveable wages.”

“Are you saying they don’t create jobs?” Soren smiled at her patronizingly.

“Maybe you don’t understand the words that are coming out of my mouth. I never said a thing about job creation,” Svea retorted. “I’m saying that it’s inevitable that a capitalist system exploits its most vulnerable workers. And for you to sit there and say that it works when it so obviously doesn’t is just ignorant.”

“But the most vulnerable needs jobs, don’t they?” he pressed.

“The most vulnerable in society require justice, equality, dignity – so many other things before they need a job. And unless society’s systems are created and executed to help create that justice, equality, and dignity, they’ll never get it. But they should fight to get it. They have a right to.”

“So you adhere to Hobbes’s view on the social contract then? That people should depose of governments and systems that they don’t like because they don’t get what they want from it?”

Svea furrowed her brows. She wanted to wipe that smug, pretentious, pompous, dastardly smile off his face. “You have your social contracts mixed up, sweetheart. It was Locke, not Hobbes, who believed that when the king or the ruler becomes a tyrant and acts against the interests of the people, the people have a right and an obligation to resist his authority so the social contract can be dissolved and the process of creating a new political society can happen. It’s not about getting what they want, it’s about upholding the contract. That’s what it’s called a social contract. Anybody who’s taken an introduction to philosophy class knows that’s Locke because it inspired Thomas Jefferson and the other leaders of the American Revolution.”

Svea was getting heated. Elias’s eyes had been darting back and forth between her and Soren, trying to take in everything they were saying. It was hard to follow for him. He had no clue what they were talking about. “Be careful, Soren,” Brigitte spoke up, smiling mischievously behind her wine glass. “Svea won all the debating awards in high school.”

“That’s easy when you’re in Norrland,” he quipped, to which Brigitte laughed. Svea wasn’t laughing. Soren took notice. “Oh come on, Svea. I’m just messing with you. It’s just some friendly banter. Has a guy never flirted with you before?” he asked. Was that meant to be flirting?! Svea still didn’t respond. “You get quite feisty. Are you like this in your tutorials, too? You must get really good marks for participation.”

“I get good marks for everything,” she said dismissively.

Soren didn’t let up. After the third and fourth glasses of wine were poured, and after everyone retired to the couches or the floor, lighting their cigarettes because any twenty-somethings who fancied themselves as intellectuals took up smoking to look and play the part, Soren continued to chat with Svea. Jonas and Oscar struck up a conversation with Elias, and he was trying to be polite in engaging with them while also eavesdropping on Svea and Soren. He couldn’t help it. They continued to discuss things he had no clue about, but he still listened. Still made sure Soren wasn’t trying to…pull anything. He was older and smarter and had a nice head of hair and a good beard and every time Elias looked at him, he wanted to punch him. He didn’t like how close he was standing to Svea. He didn’t like how Soren looked at her how he looked at her. Shouldn’t he be focused on Brigitte – on at least her fifth glass of wine and chain-smoking in a chair next to the front window – anyway?

“The term you’re looking for is American exceptionalism,” he heard Svea say.

“That essay was a complete farce.”

“The film American History X with Edward Norton would be a good education for you on how white power movements target youth to brainwash them.”

“It’s pretty clear as day that Donald Trump stokes the fires of white nationalism. How can you say it doesn’t? What happened in Charlottesville was a disgrace. And no, it’s not freedom of speech. No. No it isn’t – not to me. Not in the Canadian sense. No, no – Americans have amendments – Americans do. Not Canadians. Canadians have the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. And if your speech promotes hate against an identifiable group, it’s no longer just free speech, it’s hate speech. It’s – no, stop – it’s hate speech and it should have consequences. It’s not free speech.”

They disappeared. Soren led Svea into the kitchen, probably to get more wine or to offer her one of those awful and disgusting herbal cigarettes he’d rolled himself like a dick, and Elias couldn’t see them, couldn’t hear them. He got nervous. It wasn’t that he needed to be in sight of Svea at all times, like some overprotective asshole, but he didn’t like Soren. And when he didn’t like somebody, he didn’t trust them. Especially with Svea. But he tried to calm down, to think nothing of it. He thought about how he should probably google what a social contract was when they got back home. How he should google what American exceptionalism is.

Elias because increasingly aware of the differences between him and Svea. For all that they were the same, their fundamental difference – and perhaps the one most glaringly obvious to him now – was that she knew all of this stuff and he didn’t. She knew what a social contract was, what American exceptionalism was, who all these different political figures and philosophers were and he just…didn’t. And because he didn’t, he couldn’t ask her about it. He couldn’t talk to her about it. No wonder she’d barely stayed quiet all evening, and was barely staying quiet now with Soren – she could actually talk about it! Speak her mind! Show off what she knew! She couldn’t do that with him. She couldn’t do that when hockey occupied his life more than anything, when he traveled, when he knew what she was studying but didn’t know about what she was studying. He was out of touch, so different than everyone else in the room, definitely not as smart as Svea and it wasn’t even close.

He tried not to think about it, but it was all he could think about.

Eventually, Svea and Soren came back. Elias didn’t know how long it had been; he couldn’t tell. But Kristina and Magnus had already left, so Svea wanted to leave too. They hugged everybody, and said their goodbyes, and put on their shoes, and closed the door behind them. As they walked up the street, far enough away from the house, she grabbed his hand. “Did you like that?” she asked. Her voice was soft.

Elias nodded his head. “It was nice to see everyone. To see what they’ve all done since we left school.”

“Too bad we had to see Brigitte again,” Svea quipped. “Soren was interesting, too.”

Interesting. Interesting. Elias nodded his head. “He seemed very worldly.”

“You know he’s like, almost twenty-seven?”

“Oh yeah?”

“Seemed weird to me that he was hanging out with a bunch of 21 year olds trying to prove he was smarter than everyone else.”

When they got back to the house, they let Tequila out one last time before going upstairs and getting into bed. Svea could tell something was up with Elias, but it was one in the morning and she didn’t want to press it. He was probably just mentally exhausted like she was – being around a big group of people for so long took a lot out of them. And it was different when it was a big group of people you knew versus a group of people you knew but didn’t converse with a lot on a daily basis. So instead of asking about it, Svea instead cuddled up to him over the covers, draping an arm over him and giving him one last kiss before falling asleep, hoping it would help.

***

Svea hadn’t slept well all night. Because of Elias.

The way that he was clutching on to her, like she was a feather and would fly away at the slightest bit of wind, confirmed to her that there was something wrong. Elias liked to always be touching her in some way or another, especially in the last few weeks – hand holding, hand on thigh, sitting close – but this felt different. This felt like something was wrong, that there was something bothering him that he wasn’t verbalizing, and it was eating him up inside. He’d been tossing and turning the whole night (she’d felt it). He’d gotten up a few times throughout the night to go to the washroom or the kitchen for water, taking longer than she would have liked each time.

His body was so rigid, so cold. So different from how it usually felt.

“What’s wrong, Elias?” she asked softly, looking up at him though she kept her head on his chest. She brought one of her hands up to cup his face gently. He leaned into her touch.

“Nothing. Don’t worry,” he said.

She pushed herself up, still on top of him but perching herself against her elbow. “Stop lying to me.”

“Svea…”

“Elias, you always tell me you would never lie to me,” she used his own words. He knew she was right, but it pained him to make her worry over something so…stupid. “Did somebody say something last night? Was it Brigitte?”

Elias shook his head. “It wasn’t Brigitte.”

“Then what is it?”

Elias took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. He didn’t want to get emotional in front of her, even though he was getting emotional. Just thinking about it made his heart hurt and head spin. “Am I holding you back?” he asked softly, but directly, looking into her eyes. “Be honest.”

Svea furrowed her brows. She didn’t quite understand his question. “Holding me back from what?”

“From…I don’t know. Things you want to do. Things you want to talk about, since I can’t talk about them.”

She could see the tears begin to well in his eyes, and in that small, emotional moment she knew. She knew what he meant by his question, what he meant by his words. It made her heart break realizing he was thinking this way, that he could ever think this way. “Elias, no.”

“Are you lying to me?”

“Elias, no,” she said more emphatically.

“Because you’re the smartest person I’ve ever met,” he huffed out nervously, his cheeks red and the first tear escaping down his eye.

She shook her head and used her thumb to wipe it away. “I’m not that smart.”

“Yes you are!” he affirmed, his voice cracking. More tears escaped now, and she moved even closer to him as she continued to wipe them all away. “You’re the smartest person to me. You know so much about politics and geography and history and philosophy, and you always explain it so well, and I’m just…just here, being a hockey player, and you could be…you could be out there, talking to all these different, like, intellectual people—”

“Elias—”

“—instead of having to explain stupid things to me—”

“Elias,” she said sternly. “Elias, stop it. I would rather be with you than anywhere else in the world.”

“You were talking to that guy last night, and I know, I know you weren’t flirting or anything, but I know he was, and he was able to talk to you about all these different things, and then I thought about how bad you must want to talk about that sort of stuff all the time because that’s what you’re going to school for, and you can’t with me, you just can’t, and it was awful just sitting there and not being able to contribute because I have absolutely no clue what a social contract is or what any of it means—”

“Elias,” she interrupted him. She knew it was eating Elias up inside. “Soren was some pretentious pseudo-intellectual who didn’t even know Vancouver was in Canada. He made me so mad by insisting that Vancouver was in the States that I almost slapped in at the party. He’s Brigitte’s boyfriend – I should have known anyone that hands out with her would be that way – but he’s an idiot, Elias, the worst kind of idiot. The type that thinks he’s not an idiot just because he reads books and went to university.”

Elias was silent. He sniffled a few times, wiping away his own tears. “I know it sounds selfish of me to say, but I don’t want to lose you, Svea. I just got you.”

“You’ll never lose me, Elias,” she whispered, her thumb grazing over his lips lightly.

“And you know how much I love you, right?” he asked, his voice still a bit shaky even though she shot down any notion that Soren was match to Elias, or equal to him in any way. “Svea, in my eyes you hung the moon in the sky. You’re the sun and the stars and I just live in your universe,” he said.

Svea nodded his head. “I love you more than anything, Elias. I don’t want you ever thinking you’re holding me back or anything like that. You’re the only one for me in this whole damn universe. We wouldn’t have stayed best friends for so long if you weren’t.” She paused briefly. “Do you remember what you told me at Brock’s?”

“I can’t now. I’m too emotional,” he admitted.

“When I asked you if you ever get sick of me because we’re always together, you said that we’re an extension of the other, and you said if you couldn’t be in the same room with yourself all the time, then who can you be with,” she recounted his words. He nodded and stayed silent to catch his breath. “If I could go anywhere, to any planet, to any star, to any galaxy at the edge of the universe, I’d just want to be in a room with you.”

Tears poured out of Elias’s eyes at her words, and he clung onto her with everything he had in him as he buried his face into the crook of her neck. She felt his tears on her skin, and she clung on to him as tightly as he clung on to her. She held him for a while, rubbing soothing circles onto his back.

She let him cry. It was important to let him cry.

When his shaking stopped and his breathing steadied, and she knew it was safe, Svea was able to look him in the eye again. He was no longer embarrassed. Nothing was off limits now. “You’re the only person in this world for me, Elias. Nobody else comes close.”

He nodded. He understood.

“I love you,” she whispered.

“I love you too,” he said.

“Show me,” she urged. “Show me how much you love me.”

Almost immediately he began kissing Svea – big, wet, open mouth kisses that left her completely breathless and utterly hypnotized the longer they went on, and they went on for a long time – longer than she was used to, but she wasn’t exactly complaining. More kisses, more heat. More touching. More moaning. More hands wandering, more hands squeezing. His hand traveled down to her core. Svea’s breath hitched in her throat at his touch. She mewled into a kiss. “Elias—”

“Shhh…” he began kissing down her neck. She mewled out again as he teased her hot core without any warning. She squeezed her legs together, the sensation new. “I’m gonna show you how much I love you.”

“Show me,” Svea nodded quickly. “Show me I’m yours.”

The words were simple and innocent but it ignited something within Elias. He rolled her over onto her back, fussing with her shirt before tugging it up and over her head and diving right towards her breasts, capturing a nipple in his mouth. Svea let out a surprised gasp. She could feel him roll his tongue and she closed her eyes. She arched her back at his touch. “Elias—" she stuttered out, unable to form any other words besides his name. When he was done with her breasts he kissed a trail down to the waistband of her pajama pants before pulling them and her underwear off all in one go, flinging them across the room. “Elias—”

No warning. No precursor. He just dove right in. Svea shrieked out at the feeling of his tongue between her folds. It was all new to her, and she didn’t know how to feel – the only thing she knew was that it felt good. Like, really good. It took her a while to get to her senses before she could speak. “Elias—” she gulped. “El…Elias—”

“S’it feel good?” he mumbled against her lips.

She nodded her head feverishly. “Y—Y—Yes,” she barely managed to get out. She’d never felt anything like it. “Fuck, Elias” she huffed.

“Tell me what you want,” he mumbled again, snaking his hands up to squeeze her breasts.

She could barely think. “I want…”

“Come on, pretty girl,” he cooed.

“I want you to make me cum, Elias,” she was barely able to breathe.

Elias continued with as much passion and enthusiasm as she’d ever seen, thoroughly and honestly enjoying the experience of eating her out like she was his favourite meal even though he hadn’t tasted her yet. His laps were rhythmic and perfect, his sucking flawless and immaculate. Like everything else he did in his life, Elias was perfect at it. Svea was seeing stars. She arched her back again, huffing and puffing and trying not to go crazy. “I’m so close, Elias.”

“Cum for me, Svea. Let me taste you.”

When she came, her entire body shook; every part of her, from head to toe, felt like it was on fire. She cried out, chanting his name over and over again like a prayer before squeezing his head between her thighs. When he lapped up every last drip, he rose from his position, moving to kiss her. She tasted herself on his lips and groaned. She wrapped her legs around him and he snuck his hand between them and positioned himself at her entrance, teasing her. She was barely recovered from her orgasm when she felt the tip of his hard cock teasing her. She dug her nails into the skin of his back. “Fuck me, Elias,” she mewled out, knowing it would drive him crazy – wanting to drive him crazy. “Show me I’m yours.”

Everything about them up until now had been so soft, but this was different. There was a different sort of intensity now, a different sort of pleasure and a different sort of love they were both feeling. He entered her in one quick thrust, making her cry out again. There was nothing soft about the way he proceeded to fuck her – he felt possessive and selfish and greedy all at once, wanting her only for himself. The sounds she was letting out told him she wanted it that way – she liked what he was doing, and how he was doing it, and she wanted to be only his instead of being anyone else’s. That gave him the confidence to keep going, to keep fucking her like he was, because if she wanted it, and wanted it that way, that’s all that mattered.

He looked her right in the eye as he thrust in and out of her. “I’m yours,” his voice was deep and serious. “I’m yours and you’re mine.”

“I’m yours and you’re mine,” Svea repeated after him.

They came together. Svea’s orgasm felt more powerful than her fist, and she could feel Elias filling her up, his body shaking after his last thrusts. He collapsed on top of her and buried his face in her neck. They caught their breaths slow and steady, trying to make the feeling last. He was still inside her when she felt his lips grazing the skin of her neck, dragging their way up to her jawline and to her ear. “I’m yours and you’re mine,” he whispered.

She smiled. “I’m yours and you’re mine.”

>< >< >< >< ><

“What would you classmates say if you showed up to class with a Louis Vuitton backpack?”

Svea gave Elias one of her looks as he browsed through the backpacks at the Louis Vuitton store in Stockholm, Emil behind him trying one on and Fanny beside her, looking down at the jewelry in the glass case. “Don’t even think about it,” she mumbled. In their last few days in Stockholm, Elias had been beyond generous with her. She felt like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. “And it’s summer. Don’t make me think about school.”

From beside her, Fanny laughed. “You already bought her the Chanel bag, Elias.”

“And the Prada sunglasses,” Emil quipped.

“And the tickets for tomorrow night even though they were sold out,” Fanny added again.

The more they listed, the redder Svea got. She looked to Elias. He shrugged. “She might need another bag. You never know.”

Fanny looked over at Svea dramatically. “Do you need another bag?” she asked, a smirk on her face.

“What I need is food,” Svea giggled. She saw Elias smirking from his spot. “But I know we’ll be here another hour until Emil tries on all the backpacks and makes a decision.”

“You know me very well, Svea,” Emil said absent-mindedly, still checking himself out in the mirror.

As they sauntered around the store, looking at all the pretty things while Elias helped Emil decide on a backpack, Svea and Fanny chatted and looked at wallets and the limited edition purses, which cost about double what Svea was paying in tuition at UBC. Svea always loved Fanny – she was funny and bubbly and had her head on straight. Plus, she was an animal lover and let Svea come over any time she wanted to play and cuddle with Tequila, Whiskey, and Diesel. Svea appreciated her kindness.

“I didn’t think it was possible to see Elias even happier, but I think he is,” she mentioned when they were far enough away from the boys, pretending to look at the shoes. “I mean, he’s always happy with you, no matter what you guys are doing, but now especially so.”

“You think so?” Svea blushed.

“Oh, I know so,” Fanny nodded. “Everyone can see it. Even yesterday…you didn’t see, but when we were all at lunch at that pasta place, he just stared at you for a good, like, fifteen seconds. Just in awe of you.”

“What was I doing?”

“Stuffing tagliatelle into your face.”

Both girls giggled but a shiver ran up Svea’s spine. She hadn’t caught him doing that – and she didn’t know if she would have wanted to. “I hope I looked semi-attractive doing it and didn’t have alfredo sauce spilling down my chin.”

“I think it’s just that…well, now that you two are together, everything is just…the way it should be, you know?” Fanny continued. “Me and Emil, you and Elias…Irene and Törbjörn were over the moon when you guys told them. Over. The. Moon.”

“Really? They seemed pretty…unsurprised when we told them.”

“Oh, well of course we were all unsurprised. But that doesn’t mean they were any less happy,” Fanny explained. “They were over the moon that it happened now instead of you guys dancing around it for the next few years. You know they love you, Svea.”

“Did we keep them waiting too long?” Svea joked.

“You kept all of us waiting long enough.”

After Emil bought his new backpack, they headed to Griffin’s Steakhouse, one of the best in Stockholm, for dinner. Elias was recognized by a few people as they were waiting for their table, and he politely took pictures with them. Svea was sure she was in the background of some of them, holding her Chanel and Prada shopping bags like some sort of bougie creeper. It happened quite a bit in Vancouver as well, and everyone was generally nice and polite about it. Elias made time for the kids especially, but in this case, it was mostly grown men. Nobody bothered them while eating, which is all that mattered.

They walked back to the hotel. Emil and Fanny hugged and said goodnight to Elias and Svea before walking down the hallway to their room. Elias stuck their key card in the door. He threw his bags down onto the bed and collapsed on it, starfish style, as Svea giggled. “I’m going to take a shower,” she said, placing her bags neatly on the chair at the desk. Elias groaned in response. “Are you going to be okay if I leave you alone or do you need help changing into your pajamas?” she asked like he was a little kid.

She heard him snort. “As much as I want you to peel every article of clothing off of me, I’ll leave you be.”

Svea took a long shower – long enough for her to feel completely cleansed of the day. She put one of the luxurious bathrobes on, tightening it around her waist before brushing her teeth, putting on her moisturizer, and grabbing her hairbrush. As she brushed through her short hair, she heard the door handle turn. Elias’s head popped through. “Hey.”

She looked over at him squeezing his way through the door. He still hadn’t changed into his pajamas. She wondered if he’d stayed on the bed face down like a starfish for the duration of her shower. “Could have knocked,” she smirked.

“Cause I haven’t seen you naked?”

She scrunched her face at him as she sat on the toilet, continuing to brush out the tangles in her hair. “Is there something wrong?”

“No,” he shook his head. “I just wanted to give you something.”

“If it’s your dick, the time has passed for shower sex.”

“No, it’s…”

As he trailed off, Svea noticed for the first time that he was very clearly holding something behind his back. She was skeptical. “What’d you do, Elias?”

“You know when you and Fanny were in Chanel? Before Emil and I came in?”

“Yeah…”

Slowly, his hands came forward from behind his back to reveal a box wrapped in white paper and sealed on the edges with a wax seal. She didn’t recognize anything special about it, or know what it was at first. He handed it to her and she examined it quickly. “What is it?”

“Why don’t you open it?”

She placed it in her lap and unwrapped it delicately, making sure not to break the wax seal. It must have been important, she thought, if the thing was wax sealed. Unfolding the paper and peeling it back gently, she saw a red box. Cartier. She looked up at Elias. “What did you do?” she repeated, her voice more accusatory but also more nervous than it was moments earlier.

“Svea, come on. Open it.”

She pushed the small button. Inside, the infamous Love bracelet in gold sat staring back at her on its plush velvet. It was shiny and sparkled in the light of the bathroom as Svea held it in her lap, staring at it like it wasn’t real. In real life, she didn’t get things like this. She didn’t even come close to them. Now, that had changed. “Elias…” she whispered.

“Do you like it?” he asked.

“Of course I like it.”

“I know it’s kinda like, basic or whatever…like a lot of people have them—”

“I don’t know a lot of people who have them,” Svea interrupted him. “The only person I know who has them is Grace and that’s because she bought them for herself.”

“Yeah,” Elias nodded quickly. “I just thought…well…look on the inside,” he said, suddenly so shy and nervous about it all.

She took it off its holder and held it up to her eye. She saw the traditional engravings of Cartier, the gold quality, and everything else. But then something else caught her eye. Some intricate script. Small, but legible.

I’m yours and you’re mine

She stared at Elias. “You didn’t.”

He only smiled. He bent down on his knees in front of her, in between her legs, resting his hands on her thighs over the plush fabric of the robe. He could see her admiring it, taking a second look at the engraving and at how much the gold shone in the light. “Can I put it on you?” he asked softly.

Svea nodded. He grabbed the screwdriver from the box and screwed it onto her wrist easily, taking his time, making sure to make every moment last. He knew that it was just a piece of jewelry – an expensive piece of jewelry – but she so obviously loved it, and loved the sentiment, and he was an extremely sentimental person, which is why he got it for her in the first place. They stayed silent until he was finished, and even then, they only smiled at each other – bashful smiles, their cheeks red at the simplicity yet intimacy of the moment. He couldn’t help but lean up slightly to give her a quick kiss. “Won’t be the last time I kneel in front of you, you know.”

Svea smiled even wider, but shook her head playfully. “If you say so. We’re only twenty-one.”

“Doesn’t matter to me,” he said, giving her another quick kiss. “If you wanted to get married tomorrow, I’d do it.”

“I know you would. That’s why we can’t,” she giggled.

“I love you, you know. As much as hockey is my life, sometimes I just wish it could be summer all the time so I get to spend it with you,” he whispered.

That was something new. Elias loved her, but he was only ever obsessed with hockey. It was his entire life. It was the other love of his life, and how he made his living – how he was able to afford Cartier bracelets and Chanel bags and surprise Coldplay tickets even though they were sold out months ago. To hear that he wanted it to be summer all the time – a time when he couldn’t play hockey – was new. He’d never said anything like that before. She didn’t know if he’d openly admit that to anyone else besides her, either. She felt privileged knowing, but now she was also the gatekeeper of the secret.

He picked her up. She yelped slightly, giggling all the way to the bed where he plopped her down. By this point, her robe had become loose, and she took it off to change into her pajamas. She tucked herself into bed, Elias slipping in beside her, cuddling up to her. In almost no time, she felt his breathing steady and he was peacefully asleep.

She wasn’t.

She tried to fall asleep like a regular person, especially because of the day they had ahead of them tomorrow, but she couldn’t. She kept thinking about what he said. Sometimes I wish it could be summer all the time. Did he really mean that? Or was he just saying things for the sake of saying them? Because he was in love? Because he was letting that feeling of intense love overtake him? Svea knew hockey meant more to him than a lot of other things – than most things – though Elias was always intent on being remembered for being a good person rather than just being a good hockey player. Did he only want her in the summer, when he didn’t have to think about hockey?

She tossed and turned thinking about that question. And when she couldn’t toss and turn anymore, when she couldn’t stare up at the ceiling anymore, she got out of bed gently, making sure not to wake him. She walked over to the sliding door and stepped out onto the balcony, breathing in the night air.

Did Elias only want a summertime Svea? Did he only want the version of her that he was with now? She thought about what she was like during the summer – happier, less stressed, more carefree about everything. No wonder, since she didn’t have readings and assignments to worry about. And it was no wonder now, since this was essentially her last summer before things got really serious. She had a lot of decisions to make in the upcoming year about her future and what career path she wanted to go down. She was taking the GRE in case she wanted to pursue a Master’s in public policy. She was taking the LSAT in case she wanted to pursue law school. She was sure there was some other entrance exam out there that she needed to take if she wanted to go into something else, too. Another thing to stress her out.

What if she couldn’t always be summertime Svea for him? Elias deserved her at her best, not when she was tired and stressed out and crying over bad marks and awful professors. She knew she couldn’t always be her best for him, especially now that they were in a relationship. Friendships were different – they just were. Relationships were an entirely different ballgame, and Svea wondered if they were going to be able to maintain what they had and were experiencing right now: the laughter, the fun, the joking, the good sex. The good parts. Would they be able to withstand the hard parts: the stress, the pressure, the traveling, the bad games, the bad marks? One part of her said of course they could, because they’d been doing it for years. Another part of her said things are different now, and they can never go back to what they were.

Svea didn’t know what to think.

***

“There’s something wrong.”

Svea had been sipping on her beer as she and Elias were waiting outside of the stadium’s washrooms for Fanny and Emil. The opening band had finished their set, and now everybody was waiting for Coldplay to take the stage. Svea was giddy-nervous, having remembered how amazing the band was live last time she saw them with Sigrid at least five years ago now, but the thoughts from last night were stuck in the back of her mind.

“What do you mean?” Svea asked innocently. “You think Emil got stuck in a toilet or something?”

“No. Something’s wrong with you,” he clarified. “What’s been bugging you since this morning?”

So he knew. And judging by the look on his face, and how close he was, she wasn’t going to be able to get out of this. She knew she should have been honest with him from the beginning, but she was being stupid. “Elias…”

“It’s not the bracelet, is it?” he asked, reaching out slightly to grab her wrist where it lay. “If you don’t like it—”

“No no, Elias, I love it,” she said, looking down briefly at his hand now holding hers. “It’s just…you know how yesterday when you said you sometimes wish it was summer all the time so you’d get to spend it with me?”

“Yeah…”

She gulped. “I feel like you might have an idealized version of me in your mind…like, like a summertime Svea, where I’m not stressed about school or finding a job or missing my family, but then when September comes around and you’re in hockey mode and I’m in school mode and everything changes it’s going to be much different…and I don’t know if I can, or will be able to be, summertime Svea for you.”.

Elias had furrowed his brows the second she mentioned ‘idealized version of me’. He listened to her ramble, and the silence he took afterwards made Svea the tiniest bit nervous. “You don’t need to be summertime Svea for me,” he said finally, choosing his words precisely, but using her own words too. “You don’t need to be anything for me besides you.”

“Yeah, but—”

“But nothing, Svea.”

“I don’t…I don’t want to let you down.”

Now Elias really furrowed his brows. “How could you ever let me down?” he asked. She shrugged her shoulders. “Svea, you remember what I told you after Soren?” he asked. Svea nodded her head. “You’re the sun and the stars, Svea. You give me life no matter what you do. Don’t you get that? I know that you have a lot of big decisions coming up this year and I know there’s going to be a lot of ups and downs for you this year, and for me, but there’s nobody I’d rather experience them with than you. Whatever they are.”

She nodded her head. They way that he said it – the way he said anything – made her want to cry. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize.”

“I just want to be what you deserve,” she said.

“You are what I deserve,” he said, leaning down to kiss her quickly. “Actually, no – not even. I don’t deserve you.”

Svea couldn’t help but smirk, and as she stood on her tiptoes to kiss Elias again, she couldn’t stop. She kissed and kissed and kissed, and she didn’t care who saw them. She loved him, she loved him so much, and even though they were insecure sometimes, as most people were, they loved each other, they loved each other, and that’s all that mattered.

“You guys are gross,” Emil’s voice interrupted, his voice playfully disgusted at the sight before him. “Every time I look at you guys, you’re kissing. Do you guys even breathe?”

“Shut up Emil,” Svea huffed, unable to suppress her smile.

When they got back to their section of the floor, they only had to wait five minutes for the lights to dim and Coldplay to take the stage. Svea began screaming her head off and she and Fanny danced and swayed along to the music, singing along at the top of their lungs song after song. As she sang, Svea could feel herself letting things go – anything negative was escaping her body and being replaced with pure joy and elation. Any worries she had about the upcoming year were gone; any worries she had about anything were gone, replaced only with a need to live in the moment, to appreciate everything she had, to recognize what she’d done in her life thus far that brought her to this exact moment, singing and swaying to Coldplay in Stockholm.

Svea felt Elias wrap his arms around her from behind, resting his chin on top of her head as he began to sway with her. And as she felt him lean his head down to give her light kisses on her temple and cheek, it cemented the fact that there was no place she would rather be.

>< >< >< >< ><

Like any good Swedes, Elias and Svea had been looking forward to Midsommar.

Elias had a huge extended family, who usually rented a massive marquee and perched it on the banks of Ångesjön and had a massive dinner and party on the Friday night. His grandmother was making his favourite dish, sausage stroganoff, and of course, all the other foods and delicacies associated with the Midsommar celebration. Between family, friends, and neighbours invited to the festivities, they were anticipating around seventy people.

Elias couldn’t keep his eyes off Svea ever since she arrived at his house with her parents and Sigrid wearing a white and floral embroidered dress that fell just above her knees; he couldn’t keep his eyes off her as they drove to the marquee on the lake, where members of his family were already setting up the maypole; and he couldn’t keep his eyes off her now, as she was sitting at a table with some of his younger female cousins, helping them make flower wreaths to wear as crowns.

“You and Svea are the talk of everyone here,” Sigrid said as she watched Elias watching Svea. They were sitting at their own table, scrubbing the potatoes that would be used for later.

“Are we?”

“They’re saying the same things we did. ‘Oh, finally?’ and ‘It’s about time.’ You know, the usual,” she giggled. Elias knew that just a few weeks ago at Emma and Jonas’s dinner they hadn’t said anything because they wanted to keep it a secret, but there was no use now. He knew word would have gotten around eventually, and that there was no use stopping it. Besides, this way would make it trickle down from old people to people his age, anyway. “So many girls in Ånge will be heartbroken,” Sigrid joked.

Elias shrugged his shoulders. He didn’t really care about that – he never did. A lot of girls didn’t like how close he was to Svea and had gotten jealous over the years. He didn’t even think twice about it. “So long as the most important girl isn’t heartbroken, that’s all that matters,” he said.

“I don’t think she ever could be with you,” Sigrid said, looking at Svea at the table with some extended Pettersson cousins. “Besides, we all know you’re not capable of heartbreak. You’re too much of a good boy.”

Elias laughed, knowing that Sigrid was right. There was a constant sentiment in the Pettersson household that Irene and Törbjörn never had to ‘worry’ about Elias. The only times he would be out late was when he was at the rink; he always did fairly well in school, behaved, was nice to the other kids and to the teachers; and he didn’t have any dangerous vices like drinking or drugs, save for maybe being obsessed with his phone. It was more than he could say for a lot of his peers, but then again, many of them didn’t have the singular focus of hockey in their life, driving them to achieve a nearly impossible goal of playing in the NHL. “I can be a bad boy, though,” he said.

“Oh yeah? How? Staying up past your bedtime?” Sigrid quipped.

“Ask your sister.”

Sigrid’s jaw dropped and she pretended to convulse. “Oh my God I think I’m gonna throw up,” she mumbled, covering her mouth for dramatic effect as Elias laughed and laughed and laughed. “You’re gross. Stop violating my sister’s innocence.”

“I don’t know if I’d call her innocent.”

“That’s it, I’m leaving,” Sigrid said, setting her scrubber down and getting up to leave. Elias laughed as he watched her go inside the marquee to one of the coolers and grab a drink, shaking his head as he smiled to himself and continued to scrub the potatoes.

***

“Sveeeeaaaa,” Elinor, one of Elias’s little cousins, handed Svea her flower crown. Many of the cousins had made theirs before coming, perhaps with their parents, but others hadn’t. Svea took the opportunity to help them, setting up a little station at one of the picnic tables filled with flowers and leaves. This was her favourite part of Midsommar anyway (save for maybe a drunken Små grodorna dance), so she really didn’t mind. Three cousins had already finished, and she was left with sisters Elinor and Eliza. “The leaves I’m trying to put on aren’t staying. Can you help me?”

“Of course my darling,” she smiled, putting her own crown down delicately to help with Elinor’s.

Eliza came over too to watch Svea put the leaves on. As she looked between the leaves being fastened on the wreath and Svea’s concentrated face, a thought came to her mind. She’d seen something earlier and needed to get to the bottom of it. “Svea?”

“Yes Eliza?”

“Are you and Elias finally boyfriend and girlfriend?”

Svea smiled, if only at the use of the word finally. It seemed like even the kids had been waiting for them to get together. “Yes. We’re finally boyfriend and girlfriend,” she said. “Why do you ask?”

“We saw you holding hands,” Elinor piped up, as if she was bursting at the seams to say something but didn’t because Eliza, as the older sister, needed to mention it first. “And then before you came and sat down with us, he kissed the top of your head like Emil kisses Fanny. And we know that boyfriends and girlfriends hold hands and kiss.”

Svea smiled from ear to ear at their innocence. At only nine and ten years old, they would see something like that and think that it was something boyfriends and girlfriends did. It was only natural to come to that conclusion. “Does it make you happy to see Elias and I as boyfriend and girlfriend?”

Both of the girls nodded their head enthusiastically. “You’ve always been around,” Elinor said.

“It’s like you were always part of our family anyway,” Eliza added.

“Are your mommy and daddy happy that you have a boyfriend?” Elinor asked.

“I think they’re happy that it’s Elias,” she sort-of joked, even though she knew the girls wouldn’t get it. “But yes, they’re happy I have a boyfriend who they know loves me.”

“My daddy says we’re not allowed to date until we’re thirty,” Eliza said. “Are you thirty?”

Svea snorted. “No my darling, I’m not thirty. I’m only twenty-one.”

Eliza shot her sister a look when Svea revealed her age. “We need to talk to dad,” she said sternly, and Elinor nodded her head.

Svea couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. It was hilarious, but she didn’t want to be responsible for the girls’ revolt against their father. She stuck one last flower into the crown before turning towards Elinor. “Well, here you go Elinor. Can I put your crown on you?” Elinor smiled as Svea put the flower crown on, adjusting it with her hair and making sure it wasn’t going to fall off. “You look like a princess!” Svea exclaimed. “A beautiful Swedish princess.”

“The most beautiful Swedish princess ever,” Elias’s voice suddenly appeared beside her. Svea smiled quickly at him before he crouched down so he could be eye level with Elinor. “What do you say to Svea?”

“Thank you, Svea,” the girls said in unison. Svea grabbed Eliza’s crown and put it on her too before the girls skipped away happily towards their other cousins.

Elias took the opportunity to slip in beside Svea on the picnic bench and get close to her. He saw her crown laying on the table and picked it up delicately, making sure not to ruin any of the small flowers. “May I?” he asked.

“Of course.”

Svea bowed her head and Elias put the crown on her, adjusting in with her hair much like she did with the girls. When she raised her head again, Elias was met with her smiling eyes, a playful grin appearing on her face. He blushed, letting a bashful smile overtake his face. “You’re so beautiful, Svea. So, so beautiful,” he whispered.

“It looks nice?” she asked.

He could only nod his head. He leaned in to kiss her, unable to detach his lips after a few kisses because his pure desire for her. Sitting there in her dress with her crown was too much to bear for him. He was simultaneously the smartest man in the world for bagging her yet the stupidest man in the world for waiting so long. He placed his hand on her thigh underneath the table as she pulled away. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“And you look beautiful. I mean, you always look beautiful, but you look especially beautiful today.”

Svea smiled. “And you look so handsome with potato skin dirt in between your fingernails.”

Elias snorted. As they giggled, he leaned in to kiss her again. “I can’t believe I got so lucky,” he mumbled against her lips.

“Likewise,” Svea smiled.

***

Midsommar had been a huge success. There was lunch, and the traditional drinking of nubbe and singing nubbevisor. Then there was the små grodorna dance around the maypole with everyone, followed by a generous slice of strawberry cake. Almost everyone – kids and adults alike – participated in the games: tug of war, horseshoe tossing, and potato sack races – for most of the afternoon. After drinking the afternoon away and stuffing themselves with barbecue at dinner, Svea and Elias found themselves inside the marquee with everyone else, dancing along to the traditional dansband music being played.

They were a bit drunk, and a lot happy.

After dancing a bit with Emil and one of Elias’s uncles, Svea found herself attached to Elias, smiling and giggling as he twirled her around and tried his best to keep to the beat of the music despite how much he drank. She’d tried to absorb some of the alcohol in her system by eating extra cookies, but it didn’t seem to work. That didn’t matter though – all that did matter was that she was having fun dancing with Elias. She was having fun twirling with Elias. She was having fun singing with Elias.

She wanted to have more fun with Elias.

When they had to take a break, simply to just get more water to stay hydrated, she came up with an idea. She stuffed the last cookie she had into her mouth and stuffed the napkin into her bra before she grabbed his hand and tugged gently on it to get his attention. “Can we take a walk?” she asked, trying to sound sweet despite the cookie. “I need some air.”

“Yeah. Yeah of course,” Elias said, screwing on the bottlecap for his water. He took a step before stopping. “You’re not gonna throw up, are you?”

“No no. Just want some air, and some alone time with you,” she admitted as they stepped out of the marquee. The sun wasn’t exactly setting across the lake (it being midsommar and all) but it did leave the sky streaked in all sorts of beautiful colours – pinks and oranges and reds, all beautiful and blending into one another.

They walked along the lake, far enough that the dansband music became only a muffled noise in the background and the lights around the tent looked like stars in the sky. They held hands the entire way, admiring the views over the lake, until they finally came to a stop. As they sat down on the grass together, looking out at the lake as they leaned back on their elbows, Svea turned towards Elias. “Are you having fun?” she asked.

He nodded his head. “Of course I am,” he responded, smiling at her. “Are you?”

Svea nodded her head. “Always when I’m with you.”

“Have you sobered up a bit? Did the cookies help?”

She let out a giggle as she nodded her head. “Kiss me, Elias.”

Like many other times when their lips met, once they started, they couldn’t stop. Small kisses at first, then big, wet, open-mouth kisses that Elias could get drunk on so easily. He found his hands going straight towards Svea’s chest, feeling her up through the fabric of her dress before pushing the straps down slightly. Before he could do anything else, he felt Svea pushing him down onto his back, her body half-hovering over him as she perched herself up on her elbow.

Her free hand was initially on his chest, but the more they kissed, and the more heated things got, the further down it went. When he felt it at the top of his pants, there was a sharp intake of breath and he stopped kissing her. “S…Svea what are you doing?” he whispered.

“Shhh…” she cooed, placing butterfly kisses along his jawline. Maybe it was the alcohol making her so bold, but she knew she was being so, and that it was a surprise to Elias. He’d enjoyed his beer too, but he held his alcohol better. Never mind the fact that, technically, seventy family and friends were a ten minute walk away. She fiddled with the button on his pants until it was undone, and followed up with pulling his zipper down. “Is that okay?”

He nodded his head fervently, letting out a jagged sigh. She pushed his pants and underwear down slightly to free his cock. Before she went any further, she brought her hand up and made sure Elias was looking at her as she licked her hand and spit on it. He let out an indescribable sound – something between a groan, a yelp, and a cry. “Svea—what’re you—where’re you—” he stuttered out.

“Shhh,” she cooed again. She looked at him but he looked at her hand slipping down to his hardening member. He was already a little hard due to all the kissing, but the second she touched his cock with her wet hand, he swore he got even harder. “I want to make you feel good, Elias,” she whispered, wrapping her hand around his cock. “Does it feel good?”

He nodded, unable to formulate words. Okay, so his girlfriend was going to jack him off on the banks of the Ångesjön. No no – not going to – she was jacking him off right this second and he was getting harder and harder the more her hand moved up and down his shaft. God, of all the times he did this alone in his room in Ånge or Timrå or Växjö or Sundsvall or Vancouver or anywhere else in the God damn world thinking about her, her specifically, and now she was here, doing it for him, in a flower crown and dress with one strap pulled down, exposing her bralette…fuck. FUCK. He couldn’t believe this was happening to him. He couldn’t believe she was doing this. He couldn’t believe—

“Kiss me, Elias,” she practically commanded, dragging him away from his selfish thoughts.

He did, hot and wet and like a teenager who didn’t know how to kiss, with his tongue everywhere as he reached up to drag her bralette strap down with her dress strap to expose a breast. He moved down to her jaw and clavicle, eventually kissing her breast. She let out sighs and mewls as his hands squeezed and his tongue grazed over her nipple quickly, but his mind kept going back to what she was doing and how hot it was. “D’you like this?” Svea asked.

“Fuck yes.”

“Are you close?”

“Spit on your hand again.”

She did as she was told, reaching back down to keep up her movements. She felt Elias’s breaths get more laboured and when he bucked his hips ever so slightly, she knew what she had to do. She moved down slightly. The loss of her breasts near his face made Elias whine. “What’re you—” he began to ask, but he couldn’t even finish his sentence, because by the time the words came out, he knew what she was doing, and he felt like he was going to pass out.

He watched as she pushed the fabric of her dress with her free hand. She lowered her upper body towards his cock, making sure to give him a perfect view. “D’you like that?”

“Svea—”

“Do you?”

“Yes!” he whispered harshly. “Fuck, fuck yes I like it.”

She pushed her breasts together, trying to get some cleavage as a visual for him, even though she didn’t have a lot to work with. “Cum for me baby,” she purred.

“Sv—”

“Cum for me, Elias. I wanna see your cum on me.”

Elias felt a tidal wave of pleasure pass through him as he saw himself emptied onto Svea’s chest, her hand continuing to pump and stroke him for all that he was worth so he could continue to feel the pleasure he was feeling. He had to close his eyes momentarily, the sight before him of Svea’s chest with his cum on it almost too much for him to take in. When he opened his eyes again, she was on her last, gentle strokes, a small smile playing on her face. That made him want to do it all over again, even though he’d barely come down as is. “Holy fucking shit,” he could barely catch his breath.

“You like what you see?” she asked,

He couldn’t believe what she’d asked him to do, and that he actually followed through. “Fucking hell, Svea. Of course I do.”

She let out a short giggle, biting her bottom lip. “This is the dirtiest thing I’ve ever done,” she admitted. While it may have been extremely tame for some people, it wasn’t for her. Maybe she’d eventually grow to think it was tame, but it wasn’t right now. It was hot and it was impulsive and it was everything she could have wanted in the moment, everything she could have needed in the moment alone with Elias.

Elias dragged her back up by the arm, giving her a giant kiss. “You’re going to fucking kill me,” he mumbled, his breath steadier now. “That was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen.”

“Maybe I’ll do it more often,” she offered.

Elias wrapped his arms around her body. “You do whatever you want and whatever’s comfortable, pretty girl.”

She grabbed the napkin that she’d stuffed into her bra earlier in the night that had fallen out during their activities – the one that held the cookies she’d sobered up on – to clean her chest. Elias wasn’t dejected as he watched her clean up, but he knew he’d want to see it on her again. When there wasn’t anything left on her, he leaned forward and placed kisses all over her chest, capturing her nipples in his mouth again and sucking gently before finally letting her pull up her bralette and the fabric of her dress. He fixed his underwear and pants, and soon enough, to an unassuming eye, it looked like nothing had even happened between them. “I’m going to fuck you on the car ride home,” he blurted out.

“With Sigrid there?” she quipped, reminding him that they had to drive her sister.

“Sigrid can go with your parents. She’ll understand. Just talk to her.”

“And if she refuses?”

“Then I’ll fuck you in my bed at home.”

“With your parents in the house? And Emil and Fanny?” she asked again, giggling. He wasn’t thinking straight. He had only one thing on the mind. “Fat chance.”

“We can be quiet,” he said, almost like he was trying to convince himself.

She gave him a look. “I can’t. And I know for a fact you can’t shut up.”

Elias made a pissy face, upset at all the roadblocks in what he thought was a straightforward, foolproof plan. He pulled her body to lie against his side, and when she snuggled into him, she lay her head on his chest. They were quiet for a few moments, recollecting what just happened while staring at all the colours in the sky over the lake. Elias kissed the crown of her head. He knew they would have to get back to the tent soon too, so people wouldn’t get suspicious. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too.”

“And I meant what I said, you know,” he continued. “Do whatever’s comfortable for you. You don’t have to feel forced to—”

“I know, Elias,” she smiled, kissing him again. “You don’t have to say it. I know.”

***

Elias and Svea integrated back into the party inconspicuously. They resumed their dansband dancing together, twirling and swinging again, holding each other close as laughter filled the space between them. Törbjörn stole her away for a dance, and her father too for a few. Elinor and Eliza were passed out on chairs despite the loud music. Fanny and Emil danced beside them. Sigrid danced with Elias’s younger cousins.

Everything was right in the world.

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