for my jjba self-shipping server's first collaborative mixtape, we decided to go with a double theme! side A consists of members' song choices for a first dance with their f/o, while side B flips the switch and includes tracks for spicier occasions. the resulting 18-song playlist is linked below, and you can find members' thoughts on their selections under the cut! thank you to those who participated, i always have a blast making these with y'all 🤎

🎧 spotify playlist link

💿 full tracklist (and gushing) ⬇️

1. "Just What I Needed" by The Cars ∾ Eileen & Jotaro (@dogsofardour)

"Jotaro would choose “Just What I Needed” by The Cars. It’s an accurate reflection of how he first felt in Eileen’s presence. It’s a little abrasive but the song is all tender underneath the bravado. It’s not a very typically romantic song, but oh! It fits, and what a lovely sensation of exhilaration."

2. "You're Still the One" by Shania Twain ∾ Anika & Jotaro (@anikasenkujo)

"Jotaro and Anika have a unique road to their wedding. First, he proposes to her in Morioh, in front of people he considers close with a family heirloom ring that Holy handed to him. Then, after tons of arguments and after almost not being married, they have Hindu pre-wedding festivities and a Christian wedding. So their first dance, is a reminder to themselves of the journey that they’ve undergone as a couple. From traveling to Cairo, to them being separated by circumstances and misunderstandings, to Anika losing her memories during this time, to broken previous relationships and to them being reunited. All of the moments they’ve had, led to the moment that they’re having right now. Their first dance is symbolic of how far they’ve come despite people saying that they’ll never be together. It’s symbolic of the fact that true love always hopes, perseveres and trusts."

3. "This Must be the Place" by Sure Sure ∾ Julie & Risotto (@reclusiverisottonero)

""I'm just an animal looking for a home"--Risotto didn't have much of a place to call a home or many people he could reliably think of as family. He didn't think he even needed such things as an assassin but didn't realize he'd unconsciously been seeking it out until he meets me, and suddenly something clicks and he goes, "Oh". 'Home' as a concept is the people you choose to surround yourself with, and little by little we opened up the doors to our hearts to let one another inside to permanently settle in. It makes this song a no-brainer for our first dance as a married couple."

4. "The Book of Love" by Peter Gabriel ∾ Rydia & Dio (@hammerofspace)

"I've got this headcanon that Dio is very slow to actually discuss soft feelings and that when he does open up about them it's a whole to do. The song focuses a lot on not knowing about love and it's intricacies but that the moments of togetherness build it into something more despite the unknown. More than anything, I'm also convinced this man would try to find a book for all things he's unsure of and would absolutely follow a book of love like it was his personal handbook if there was one discussing all the possibilities of love."

5. "Like Real People Do" by Hozier ∾ Kat and Diego (@katbrando)

"Besides this track being just short enough for me to ignore the anxiety that would come with dancing in front of people, the lyrics always give me goosebumps. The subtle changes in the chorus as the song progresses remind me of a relationship that's slowly shifting and growing, where two damaged people are learning to trust each other and open up. Having this moment after we've just been married would feel like a shared sigh of relief in knowing we've forever found someone who makes us feel safe and whole."

6. "As the World Falls Down" by David Bowie ∾ Isabella & Dio (@drakkar-noir)

"It’s kind of cheesy, but I love this song so much along with the scene it’s featured in in Labyrinth. It’d probably take some convincing to sway Dio into having this be our first dance, but he’d eventually relent because he actually likes David Bowie. It would be a very sweet and tender slow dance with lots of private whispers and smiles."

7. "I've Got You Under My Skin" by Dionne Warwick ∾ Lazarus & Dio (@phvntom-limbs)

"This is for a couple reasons. Firstly, this is a song that touches on the complete and utter devotion to that One person, loving someone so much you would do basically anything for them. And this cover in particular is a slower take on it, so it's perfect for a little romantic dance :3"

8. "Young and Beautiful" by Lana Del Rey ∾ Avelino & Melone & Pesci (@cinnamonnbonnie)

"I've seen the many beauty's of the world, irresistible landscapes, colors of the winds, and felt in my heart and soul when nature spoke in its way. When the world gets old, we are able to see forms, shapes, and crystals that only the time can make it look beautiful. Diamonds get the most brilliant and graceful as time goes by, and humans decay and get turned into dust, buried and forgotten. That's the end of the line. Although we die, we will continue to shine like gold, endlessly shining even under the ground."

9. "Iris" by The Goo Goo Dolls ∾ Leo & Gyro (@leozeppeli)

"We didn’t have a first dance or anything, so Gyro played Iris in the car after we eloped because it was the cheesiest song he could think of without being too cliche."

1. "Passenger" by Deftones ∾ Leo & Gyro (@leozeppeli)

"…he then put on Passenger ten minutes later and promptly pulled over into a dark parking lot."

2. "Tessellate" by alt-J ∾ Kat & Diego (@katbrando)

"Most of alt-J's lyrics honestly baffle me, but there's something undeniably sexy about this song. It starts with "bite chunks out of me, you're a shark and i'm swimming" and based on the overall vibe, you can't tell me that doesn't have dirty implications. Additionally, "tessellate" basically means "to fit together closely"."

3. "Slow Hand" by The Pointer Sisters ∾ Eileen & Jotaro (@dogsofardour)

"The Pointer Sisters’ “Slow Hand” is a pretty good tone setter. It’s slow, sensual, and the lyrics demand the lover show more consideration and finesse than a quickie."

4. "Soulful" by L'Indécis ∾ Rydia & Dio (@hammerofspace)

"To keep with the honeymoon encompassing theme, there's no words in this song and I think that would be important. The time alone away from everyone is about savoring wordless moments and each other and the tempo fits the idea of taking things slowly and basking in them in my head. He's a hedonist and takes his time with all things pleasurable 👀"

5. "Eat Your Young" by Hozier ∾ Lila & Cioccolata (@cinnamonnbonnie)

"Seven ways that we can sin, seven ways that we can taste each other, seven reasons to start the fire, along seven craving desires that only the other can satisfy. We made the most beautiful sin, the honey dripping from our bodies is the most divine taste, the heat makes the edges burn, and we feel deep inside, craving for each other more, a war that only us can fight."

6. "Love Me Harder" by Ariana Grande & The Weeknd ∾ Anika & Jotaro (@anikasenkujo)

"After their wedding in Calcutta, Jotaro and Anika’s 8 day honeymoon in Goa, an Indian state full of beaches is something that’s filled with adventures of all kinds. There are many moments of lovemaking, and learning about one’s likes and dislikes in sex. Also, just because they reunited after 10 years, they couldn’t take this moment lightly, they got to love each other harder, with every moment filled with passion, and sheer commitment to each other. Because they’ve slept with different people before, this song is a reaffirmation of their love to each other but in a carnal manner."

7. "Freak" by Lana Del Rey ∾ Isabella & Dio (@drakkar-noir)

"Very fitting that this is from the “Honeymoon” album! I love this song SO MUCH though and the vibes it brings for the bedroom are immaculate. The song is supposed to be about convincing your partner to be a freak with you, but we all know there would be no convincing needed for either party in this case."

8. "Watcher" by Femme En Fourrure ∾ Julie & Risotto (@reclusiverisottonero)

"The exchange of power and control can be intensely intimate. Risotto's trust is something to be treasured, to not be taken for granted even for a moment. I enjoy the dark beats of this track contrasting with the lightheartedness of the first song, but primarily love how the bluntness of the lyrics still have this craving for your partner beneath the surface . Risotto and I want to consume each other so completely, so wholly that sometimes all grace needs to be discarded so we can just fuck."

9. "Closer" by In This Moment ∾ Lazarus & Dio (@phvntom-limbs)

"This song just straight up fucks. It's already musical sex but Maria Brink has a voice that's just WA it's so good. Such a sexy song. Like biblically sexy."

I'm a Seer of Stage and I'm trying to maximize my predictive capabilities. Having a bit of trouble though.

At the start of the session, I looked for info on what the best predictive equipment is. You know, tarot cards, magic 8 balls, futomani kits, and so on.

Stage likes constants, stability, and rules. But, most divination methods rely on randomness. I can't be drawing cards from a randomized deck and expect that to play well with Stage. Like, yes, Stage CAN put up with a little randomness, so long as it adheres to rules and patterns, but it's *better* if I find a method that's low-randomness to begin with.

Enter: numerology. It's perfect. I love it, Stage I think loves it as well, match made in heaven. Numbers have specific meanings, and you can learn shit by analyzing them. Great premise, 10/10!

So I alchemized a numerology handbook. And I've had some success with it. But it was a little clunky to use, so I started working on upgrading it.

Some stuff was simple enough. I've &&'d it with a computer and some other stuff, and now I don't need to manually flip through the pages anymore because I can just say a number and it'll bring it up, I can easily cross-reference numbers with other numbers because it just pulls up relevant ones automatically, etc.

But upgrading it for ease of use is one thing. I'm not sure how to upgrade it in ways that actually make it more *accurate* or *powerful*, without it doing things like, you know, CHANGING WHAT IT SAYS THE NUMBERS DO. Which is basically the polar opposite of what Stage wants.

Of course all this shit is arbitrary, numerology isn't real, it's my Stage powers making it work. But Stage doesn't care if it's bullshit, so long as it's *consistent* bullshit. But every time I try and mix in a magic wand or other divination tool or whatever, it just changes the entire nature of the thing, and makes very little attempt at keeping the book's contents consistent. It doesn't just re-write each number's entry to be more specific or whatever, it'll make it say totally different stuff.

I'm wondering if I should just... apply a bit of my aspect to the alchemizations? I know fucking with the alchimiter is usually a BAD idea, but is it really so dangerous to force something like raw consistency and stability into it?

...Well, I checked with my numerology book, and according to various relevant numbers (number of lines in the symbol on the alchimiter, total alchemization performed so far, etc.) it says yes, it would be dangerous.

So... any other ideas? Cuz I'm fresh out.

Mixing Aspects and Alchemy isn't inherently bad. We say that an item produced through Alchemy that was infused with an Aspect has an "Aspect Charge" (as in Aspect Charge is the unit of measurement), and indeed it's quite useful at all stages of the game. You only need to worry about the following when it comes to Aspect Charges in Alchemy.

The item will of course take on characteristics associated with the Aspect, so don't make a Doom-Charged Medkit or something stupid.

Mind Charges provide infinite energy for an item, with the downside that it might "surge" and fry your computer. Or cause it to explode, depending on the size and whether or not it is in fact a computer, because computers tend to do that in this game. I've always had good luck when it comes to this though.

Blood Charges create a living item. It's usually best for the Blood player to handle that kind of thing, especially if you're the type to get philosophical about it.

Void Charges just erase the item, and all the Grist that went into it.

Never eat Aspect-Charged food. You WILL die, the question is in what way, how painfully, and how long it takes. This is true of Life and Blood too. You shouldn't even be eating Alchemized food in the first place because it all tastes like shit and basically provides no nutrition, either use the Crystalanths, start a garden, or get your hands on a Cookalizer and Alimentator like a civilized person.

And this isn't about Charges but don't ever use Blood to make your Alchemiter, or any Alchemy-related items come to life. What happens next is The Sorcerer's Apprentice meets Videodrome. You're also likely to get a Saccharine Doppleganger situation, in which case add Carebears and Invasion of the Body Snatchers to the list.

If your numerology says not to modify your Alchemiter, or Stage-Charge it, then by all means, don't. But also... Do you have to upgrade your book? You need to alchemize stuff like weapons or armor for the stat boosts, but I don't think there's any meaningful "stat boosts" differentiating an early-game grapple launcher from a late-game one, if you know what I mean. If the numbers mean what they mean, then it seems like "the computer tells me what the numbers mean" is the height of efficiency and you necessarily can't improve from there.

There are three possibilities. Option #1 is accepting that you've peaked in this regard. Option #2 is seeing if those "upgrades" do provide any unique benefits, and if so, if it's possible to create an upgrade that beats out any inconsistency penalties. Option #3, it seems like anytime you alchemized something "magical", it randomized the numbers, but a computer kept it consistent. So maybe focus more on the tech-side of things, becoming a technomancer divination wizard, or turning your Numerology Book-puter into a supercomputer. If the superbookputer grows too big to carry around, you could turn a room in your spire into a Seer's Den. In addition to looking very cool, that's heavily resonant with your Class and will provide a bountiful RP boost.

So for the most part, I outright reject the finale. But I do think, in light of the whole "Jimmy was supposed to be in the bar, and Dean was disappointed by that because his perfect heaven would have Cas in it" just makes me all the more convinced that the final episode was some kind of djinn dream. Like.... There's no other explanation in my opinion. If Dean's perfect heaven was supposed to have Cas, and he tragically gets faked out by Jimmy (????? Why tf would jimmy be there anyway), it just proves that it's not ACTUALLY heaven. That, along with he El Sol beer he's drinking is all the evidence I need. I think after 15x19, Dean and Sam got whammied by some monster, and are stuck in a hallucination, and that's what we're seeing. (My headcanon is that it's actually The Empty doing it, because it knows if it doesn't keep Dean and Sam occupied and spinning in circles, they'll invade the Empty to save Cas. So its trying to prevent that) :)

Hello, anon friendo! I am gonna start by offering the socially distanced version of a high five, because yeah... There is just so much to unpack here, and you provided such a succinct and all-encompassing series of statements to start from. Thank you!

*flings open array of questionable suitcases*

First off, Congrats on having rejected the finale. I know a lot of folks are still struggling with that one, for many reasons. But you have hit upon so many of the points I’ve been trying to make about the finale since it aired. I’d just like to start with some of the assumptions I’ve heard from folks about the finale that make it impossible for me to consider it fully honestly canon. Because so much about it just makes no goshdang sense... like... not at all...

One of the biggest issues I have surrounding the reception of the finale in parts of fandom is that it portrayed a “happy ending.” The show itself spent the entire final season telling us that a gravestone marked Winchester was not and never would be a happy ending (thank you Becky Rosen-- words I never thought I’d say, but honestly and most sincerely meant). Let’s break this down a bit.

Starting from the assumption that “heaven was fixed” so that characters could have true free will there, making it satisfying in any way that Dean died so young and never got to truly experience happiness during life, I would like anyone who has adopted this attitude to then explain Kansas the band. I mean... explain that in any satisfactory canon-compliant way. (hint: you can’t. it makes zero sense in canon, if heaven is truly reformed and “happy” with everyone in possession of free will.)

Which brings me to Misha’s comments about Jimmy being in the Roadhouse. Why, if heaven were truly fixed, would Jimmy ever in a bazillion years attend a party for Dean Winchester? If Heaven were truly a “happy” ending for Dean, why introduce this element of eternal tragedy and heartbreak to his heaven experience? Why taunt him with the eternal loss of Cas-- even if you don’t think he reciprocated Cas’s romantic feelings, he was canonically the best friend Dean ever had, and being forced to exist forever in a place where he had everyone else he ever cared for except for Cas? Is frankly horrific.

How the actual fuck is that a happy ending, in any sense of the word?

How is this the sort of heaven that Dean would’ve made for himself before it was “fixed?” At least in the memorex heaven, he could’ve lived in oblivious peace with Cas, even if it was always just his own memories and not ~actually Cas~. I honestly think that would’ve been happier than the abject tragedy of what we did get, and what we would’ve gotten had the original script played out.

All of this kind of makes me wonder if they ever even actually defeated Chuck. Like... it feels more like Dean got pulled into the Empty at that moment with Cas and Billie, and everything else after that point was the Empty’s endless experience of sorrow and despair we knew it subject its charges to. So that’s one potential for what could’ve actually happened. I mean, everything about the finale was sorrow and despair, you know? Dean didn’t even get to enjoy his pie at a pie festival because Sam smashed in in his face. How is any of it happy, in any way?

Because if that was actually heaven, there wasn’t actually any free will (because why tf would Kansas the band have chosen to put on that concert? why tf would Jimmy have been there, just to torment Dean with the taunt of Cas returning to him only to have that hope snatched away again? It’s cruel. It’s, in fact, a source of intense despair).

The djinn theory could also work, and I’ve read some excellent fix-it fic using that as a premise. But that doesn’t really explain what happened to Jack (and Amara, since she was in there with them) after hoovering up Chuck’s power, you know? I think the simplest explanations in canon are that Chuck actually won via the unified power of Light and Dark being transferred into Jack and effectively using him as a vessel. With Sam and Dean convinced they’d won, they effectively stopped resisting Chuck’s story for them, and using Jack’s understanding of humanity and the Winchesters specifically, Chuck finally was able to implement a version of his story that the Winchesters would just waltz into without thinking it was supernaturally influenced at all. Going bigger and bigger with monsters and cosmic troubles hadn’t worked, but going so small Sam and Dean would barely even notice the influence-- even with the incongruous reappearance of a vampire that appeared in their lives once, for like two whole minutes 15 years ago, and an unsolved case from the journal from more than 30 years ago that John had never even linked to vampires at all.

At this point, I need to mention that I’m watching 10.23 as I type this up. An episode in which we confront the Mark, along with Death, and Dean’s despair, where he learns a version of the truth (but by no means the full truth, or even accurate truth in some respects) about Chuck’s Story, Amara/The Darkness, etc. That would unfold more fully over the next five seasons. And what was the case Dean took in this episode? Vampires. LOLOL omg this show is nothing if not horrifically consistent, yes?

So because of this, I went haring off through my own blog looking for a post I made a long time ago about the symbolism of how various monsters are used on this show (because again, consistency). I got sidetracked by other posts in my monsters tag, including this from after 15.09 aired, which feels particularly awfully relevant. This was my reaction to Chuck’s Story he showed Sam in that episode, about what the future would look like should he successfully trap Chuck with a Mark, and which... yeah is basically exactly thematically consistent with what we saw in the finale, right down to a cheesy twist on vampires. Read the whole post right here, but this is the part that reached up and punched me in the face:

this is how Dean personally reacts when he loses Cas. We know how he reacts when he loses anyone else– think about what he did when Charlie died. He went on a murder rampage against the Stynes for killing her. When Mary died he broke some furniture and went full bore toward both resurrecting her and stopping Jack. But without Cas, Dean loses the will to fight. Sam has… always been different. He referenced Jess in 15.04 to remind us of how he was after she died in the pilot episode. Just like John, he picked up the revenge mission and ran with it. But for Dean, Cas is different. Without Cas… Dean gives up.

Because... Dean gave up. Sure, he and Sam weren’t overrun by vampires in the end. Chuck knew they’d never stop fighting the monsters, one way or another. The only way to get Dean to give up is something Chuck hadn’t quite figured out yet... maybe not until after 15.17, after confronting Cas in the hallway of the bunker, after absorbing Amara’s power, knowledge, and perspective on Dean.

Chuck needed Dean to give up, and honestly? Pushing Billie to clear him off the table and send him (and Cas, that pesky angel who never did what he was told) to the Empty would’ve been a direct way to deal with that... pretty much akin to having one sibling locked in a cage forever, yes?

Also, still looking through my monsters tag, I’m reminded of 14.15, and still cannot differentiate the version of Heaven in 15.20 from what was done to the people of that town. This... is not... paradise. This is actively what Dean has been insisting is the OPPOSITE of paradise since like… 4.22… No ending where Dean was a “Stepford bitch in paradise” ever had the possibility of being “happy,” at the core of things, and this “fixed” version of Heaven just doesn’t hold up to any degree of inspection. Something is seriously wrong here. https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/183465650390/so-can-we-talk-about-this-monster-of-the-week-for

And since I was unable to find the post I wrote who knows how long ago about Monsters and how they’re symbolically used on Supernatural to represent larger themes in the episode, I’ll just attempt to sum up what Vampires have been used for. Revenge. Vampires are always, in some way connected to themes of revenge.

(and hooray, I found at least a post adjacent to the one I’ve spent the last four hours trying to find... https://mittensmorgul.tumblr.com/post/187207052080/i-obviously-did-not-think-this-through, where I mention that shapeshifters are about revealing hidden truths (mostly about Dean since most shapeshifters are connected to Dean), zombies are about grief and the inability to move past it.)

So why... why at the end of their road is the monster that comes after them-- literally FOR REVENGE for something that had never been blamed on Sam or Dean to begin with, from season 1, directly connected to John’s revenge mission and the first time they learned about the Colt AND the first time they learned in canon that Vampires were even real... like... this feels very specifically like some kind of layers-of-meta levels of shade on them, you know? Vampires are for revenge, so what vengeance exactly is being visited upon Sam and Dean in this episode? If not Chuck’s entire story for them itself?

So yeah, 100% agree, something is incredibly rotten in the finale. And I am sick to effing death of people trying to convince us that anything about this was “good” or “happy” or “satisfying” in any way. Or even “how it was always supposed to end” with Dean dead bloody, as if the entire back half of the series hadn’t been suggesting that a true win was the subversion of all of Chuck’s story for them, and Dean finally being able to have his chosen family all alive, happy, and chilling on a beach somewhere watching the sunset. Nothing will ever convince me that the ending portrayed in 15.20 wasn’t exactly how Chuck thought he “won,” rendering it entirely irrelevant to the rest of canon, unless all of canon was ultimately the tragedy we’d been encouraged to believe would be firmly defeated in the end.

Folks, you can’t have it both ways. 

Sonic Heroes: Sweet or Shite? - Part 1: SILVER

There are some heroes I like. And there are some heroes I don’t like. But why do I feel about them the way I do? That’s where this comes in.

This is a series in which I go into slightly more detail about my thoughts on the heroes in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, and why I think they either work well, or fall flat (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on their designs, their personalities, and what they had to show for themselves over the course of time. Two things to keep in mind:

1. These reviews will be focusing mainly on game portrayals. Though alternate media will occasionally be mentioned, it'll be for the sake of adding onto a point if a portrayal is similar enough, or to compare and contrast if a portrayal is different enough.

2. These are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions! I don’t bite. :>

Anyhow, for today’s installment, I decided to challenge myself by starting off with a complicated one. Born from the future, and never content to stay put in said future, it's the saviour whose debut came from the most unfortunate game... Silver the Hedgehog.

The Gist: Once upon a time, in the distant future, there was an idealistic young hedgehog named Silver, gifted with the power of telekinesis for reasons unknown. With his amazing potential, he was truly destined for a wonderful, prosperous li-just kidding, it was shit.

“All two of us.”

For as long as he knew, the world was forever plagued by Iblis, the terrible Flames of Disaster. Cities stood in ruin, flames stood high, the floor was lava... it was a bitter life to be certain, all thanks to Iblis. Not even defeating the titular creature did much good, since it would simply come back to be a shitty boss fight another day. What was he - and his friend, Blaze, a character we definitely never saw before and definitely didn't have a completely different backstory before - to do?

Trust the first person he sees, of course. Even if they look like they might be related to the same Flames of Disaster that he fights so constantly.

If he had eyelids, he'd be winking at the camera.

This mysterious fellow, Mephiles the Dark, informed Silver that if he were to wipe out Iblis for real, he would need to take a trip into the past, and eliminate the root of the problem... Sonic the Hedgehog? That was what Mephiles claimed, yes. What was his proof? There was no proof.

That was good enough for Silver.

Oh look, it's Fleetway Sonic.

After an elaborate series of events, which should sound exciting but really isn't because it was just Silver going “Iblis Trigger grrr” in varying tones of voice, he was finally able to corner the blue hedgehog... twice! And despite having less fighting know-how than the hero who saved the world plenty of times, he effortlessly came close to killing the blue hedgehog... twice!

This looks like a jobbing for...

Why twice? The first time was halted by Sonic's friend Amy Rose, who Silver had met beforehand after she mistook him for Sonic, an understandable mistake that even the keenest of eyes would be forgiven for making.

The second time was also interrupted, this time by Shadow the Hedgehog. There's only room for one controversial non-blue male hedgehog in this franchise, sonny boy. Actually, his reasons were more benevolent than that: he wanted to show Silver the truth about what was going on, by time travelling to the incident that gave birth to Iblis. Why was one able to to this, so long as more than one Chaos Emerald was present? No one knew.

That was good enough for Silver.

“I challenge you to a dumb-off.”

As it turned out, Iblis was one half of a sun god called Solaris, the other half being the aforementioned Mephiles. The Duke of Soleanna wanted to reunite with his late wife by harnessing Solaris' power, which succeeded from a certain point of view since he's dead now too. The resulting blunder split Solaris into two halves. One half was all brawn, with little capacity for intelligence. The other half was Iblis.

Understanding the error of his ways, and after making peace with Sonic, Silver went back to the future to try something different, which consisted of doing the same thing he always did. Luckily for him, the script decided it would work this time, albeit at the cost of Blaze sacrificing herself... Maybe? Sort of? It’s not entirely clear what happened to her, and it’s not like this was the last we ever saw of her.

~La laaaaaa, la laaaaaa, la laaaaaa, heading to a better game, la laaaaaa~

But ohhhhh nooooo, turns out THAT didn't solve anything either! In the present, Sonic was killed by Mephiles, after the latter realised he should probably do that already if he wanted to make any progress at all with his plan. This incident led to Iblis being brought into the present, and they fused to become the omnipotent Solaris once more. Such power... such divinity... such devastation...

Actually, he was really easy. The antlion from Underground Zone was harder.

Manchild robots - 1, god of time - 0.

With their super forms in tow, Silver, Shadow, and the revived Sonic joined forces to defeat Solaris, with Sonic in particular going the extra step in retconning Solaris out of existence entirely. Since time itself reset, meaning Iblis was no longer a memory, Silver's timeline was given a second chance. What was he to look forward to in this new, promising future?

Shit.

The Design: Let's take a closer look at Silver's appearance, shall we?

Or rather, a certain thing that's wrong with it.

He's holding up fifteen fingers.

Yes, you all know what I'm pointing to: the hairstyle. Let it be known that I'm very aware of the intention behind this design choice. It's supposed to be based on the Japanese Red Maple Leaf, which holds a lot of relevant symbolism for Silver's character. This is a fine idea in theory, and I can respect the intent and the creativity.

But here's the thing: If it looks like a ganja leaf, people are going to say it looks like a ganja leaf. I know some fans will gnash their teeth at me saying this, but the fact of the matter is that intentions and ideas, no matter how good they may be on paper, don't always translate well into the final product. Unleashed Secret Rings Black Knight Sonic '06 in general is certainly no stranger to showcasing examples of that, and Silver's hairstyle is no exception. There are ways to incorporate symbolism in a character’s design without making them look like meme bait in the process, and no amount of “umm ackshually” will change that, I'm afraid.

That said, there's another reason why I'm staying clean of Silver marijuana: it doesn't work for a hedgehog character. With the other hedgehogs, their hairstyles are simple and get the point across: Sonic's goes without saying, Shadow's is more angular to befit a slightly rougher hero, and Amy's is a cute bob cut of sorts. But Silver? Even without the ganja, you've still got the two tentacles making up the back of his head.

I'd rather not be reminded of hentai quills, thanks.

“I thought Crusher-san would like it :’(”

I do find it hilarious that they went through numerous designs for Silver, and this was what they chose to go with. Some of his prototype designs may have fared better had any of them been used instead... but we didn't end up with any of those ones. We ended up with this one, therefore I'm judging this one.

But don’t worry, it’s not all bad with Silver...

The Personality: As far as actual character goes, Silver's personality is as straightfoward as most characters in the series, yet it's no less interesting, because it took a while for it to fully evolve to what it currently is. The seeds of his character - a good-natured yet awkward and rather insecure kind of guy, who doesn't fully understand how the present time works - have always been there, but it was often downplayed in earlier titles due to him being hungry for Iblis Trigger blood... or being an arsehole for no reason.

Although to be fair, everyone in Rivals is an arsehole for no reason.

Eventually though, after the writers gave him a Snickers, these traits got more opportunity to shine. Mostly in side media admittedly, but it's been noted in the games as well. With no Iblis to angst over, he's proven to be a surprisingly bubbly chap, who just wants to know how you're all doing, fellow anthro kids. And whereas his naivety was previously used for intended tragedy to benefit the evil plan of a guy who thought taking the -istoph- out of Mephistopheles would make him inconspicuous, now it's been used for a bunch of low-key contexts that do a much better job at endearing him to the player.

Finally, something I can relate to.

Hell, he even seems to have learned from the Mephiles incident, as he was quick to make it clear to the next shadowy deep-voiced anthro with demonic eyes he met that he wasn't gonna fall for any of them fibs no more, ya hear?

“YouTube and Twitter don’t count.”

All in all, it works well enough, in my opinion. His personality does pave the way for some funny and wholesome moments, and since they’re no longer trying to build him up like he’s Shadow 2.0, he's nowhere near as much of a tool as he was before. So I guess you could say... I like it?

Does this mean I can say that I like the character as a whole then, design and '06-induced idiocy aside?

Well, not quite...

The Execution: This is where the complication part comes into play. We know now that I like his personality, not so much his design, but that's only the half of it. It would be more accurate to say that I like his personality... and dislike everything else.

Aside from that, obviously.

For starters, the creation process for his character and story was summed up with, in their own words, “Think Trunks from Dragon Ball Z”. So he comes off as rather lazy and uninspired. Now I'm not expecting my Sonic characters to be 100% unique, there's always going to be similarities to other franchises no matter what you do, even if subconsciously or by complete coincidence. Taking inspiration in itself is no big deal at all.

But... was that it? Copying a DBZ character to such a blatant extent? Was there no other thought put into it?

Naturally, this ties into an overarching problem: the franchise's mid-00's habit of trying way too hard to be the anthro Dragon Ball Z. Sonic has had DBZ influences since the early days, with the Chaos Emeralds and Super Sonic, but it didn't assimilate itself into every waking aspect of his universe. It was merely an additional flavor that added to the complete package, in the same way that a Death Star with a moustache didn't mean the franchise was suddenly Star Wars the Hedgehog.

But come the turn of the millenium, nearly every main title in the series ended with Super Sonic and/or Super Shadow saving the day, while everyone else either stood around being useless, or only helping in ways that no one actually cares about. Including the in-universe President apparently, since only Sonic and Shadow were featured in the photo on his desk.

Amy smiled. “I guess the rest of us can go fuck ourselves, huh?”

This reached its peak with - of course - Sonic '06, with Silver in particular being an obvious result of this then-ongoing trend. And yes, it would be unfair to use him as a scapegoat, considering it was already a problem long before he turned up. But moreso than even Shadow, it's an era that Silver is forever a relic of, for better or for worse.

But it doesn't stop there. Since Silver is considered a mainstay character, his gimmick of being from the future also creates problems of its own, because in order for him to make further appearances, he keeps turning up for little explained reason, and thus he suffers the Deadly Six problem of being shoved into places where he doesn't belong, for fanservice's own sake. Take Sonic Colours DS for example, where he went back in time JUST to check out Eggman's theme park... Okay...?

On one hand, I’d visit it too, since it's made by Eggman. On the other hand, I’d stay clear of it, since it's made by Eggman.

And when there IS a justification with more weight to it? It's just recycling the '06 routine of trying to avert his ruined future, which isn't much better. The cause may differ depending on the story, but if his future is a permanent shitehole for one reason or another, he might as well cut out the middle man and stay in the present altogether, since that's where his friends are anyway. But they seem intent on not doing that, despite the future schtick being a noose around his neck at this point.

In hindsight, maybe this was a hint to how the rest of the arc would turn out.

And then there's his dynamic with a certain purple cat... No, not Big. The other one.

“I’m here, by the way.”

Simply put: I don't like this dynamic. At all. Or rather, I don't like how they keep milking it. Blaze's backstory was radically changed to justify her presence in Silver's future, and it really shows, since she barely even shows up half the time, as if the developers themselves forgot she was in the game. But her backstory has since been restored to her original alternate dimension interpretation, so hanging around with the grey hedgehog is all good now, right?

To be brutally honest, I probably wouldn't care for this dynamic regardless. But I would be more willing to tolerate it, and I'd refrain from groaning every time they're seen together... if they weren't intent on playing it up so much in spite of '06 being wiped out, sometimes with a bit of commentary involving their thoughts and memories, which only succeeds at making things more confusing. If Blaze is around, Silver will be nearby, and if he's not at first, he will be soon enough. This franchise does have a problem in general with restricting who's allowed to interact with who (I personally believe Sonic Heroes may have led to this, or at least it accelerated it), but I'd argue it's at its most insufferable here, with Blaze's potential and her entire world taking a backseat to being the sidekick of Ganja Man.

And you might say “Well, it's part of the franchise now, so you'll just have to accept it”. To which I ask: Have you accepted Two Worlds? Have you accepted Solo Sonica? Have you accepted Sonic's friends not doing much as of late?

Yeah. That's what I thought. “It’s just how it is” doesn’t mean you can’t criticise it.

Meanwhile, Marine is lucky enough to get so much as a shout out.

So yeah, I have quite an extensive list of grievances involving poor Silver. But... very little of it has to do with him, right? They're all indirect problems that he just so happens to be linked to, as opposed to someone like Chris Thorndyke, who is genuinely a shit character through and through. This is more comparable to Tails being bitchy in Lost World, or Amy being manipulative in Chronicles, or Sonic being a smug dumbass in IDW, or Shadow not wearing a Hawaiian shirt in Boom. Frustrating, regrettable, but not really the character's own fault.

Yet even after all that, there's one last kick in the teeth... How do you fix all this? And how do you fix it when he's since gained a sizable fandom, many of whom like him for these very attributes? If you leave it as it is, you're stuck with this big, awkward mess that everyone pretends to ignore. If you try to do something about it, you'll get complaints about disrespecting the True Silver Spirit, and you’ll get questions about why you didn't create a new character instead... And if you did use a new character for the sake of a clean slate, THEN you'd get complaints about not using Silver.

It's a tough call to be sure, and it's such a shame because like I said, I do appreciate his personality, so I can't say he's bad outright. But with all this... clutter, I can only put him in the average category. So, in he goes.

Crusher Gives Silver a: Thumbs Sideways!

Well, I'm glad this one's out of the way. Putting my thoughts into words with Silver was harder than it should have been. I do slightly regret starting this series off on a rather downer note, but rest assured, it's a lot more positive from this point onwards, since while I have higher praise for some heroes more than others, the hero characters as a whole fare a lot better than the majority of villains not named Eggman.

I guess you could say that I hope to show why Sonic's friends aren't as shitty as the haters would suggest. ;)

Meta on Sun Xiang & Qiu Fei’s Relationship

So the other day, Wack from the TKA discord mentioned in passing how Qiu Fei and Sun Xiang are like two ships passing in the night. The image stuck with me because it’s both poetic and accurate: two people occupying the same space, but heading in opposite directions, and never managing to stand on the same ground.

It’s notable that in a novel the size of TKA, the two almost never interact. In fact, there are only two examples of SX & QF speaking to each other outside of Glory in the entire novel. BB just didn’t fill in the rest, as he does, but what we have is consistent. I think it’s worth looking closely at their connection, because the novel very obviously sets these two characters up as foils of one another: Sun Xiang as the light, and Qiu Fei as his shadow. QF and SX are teammates who have several things in common (young Battlemages connected to Ye Xiu who have been trained to work together) - things that should draw the two together - but end up serving as a backdrop to the ways they are opposites. 

Let’s start with QF and SX’s very first interaction on page. Context: SMC has just given EE a magnificent chewing out about how all their worrying about YX is pointless, because YX seeks nothing but victory and EE is just another opponent to him. 

“Su Mucheng got up and left the conference room.

The room was completely silent. Just when everyone was wondering how long this silence would last, someone finally broke it. Someone stood up.

"I’ll be going to practice."

Qiu Fei.

This rookie had only just been promoted from the training camp this season. To think he dared to speak out against the Club’s manager. "I’ll be going to practice." By saying that, it meant he agreed with Su Mucheng.　

Ignoring everyone else’s gaze towards him, Qiu Fei left the conference room. The remaining people looked at one another, occasionally sneaking a glance at Cui Li.

This time, their captain Sun Xiang spoke up: "Haha, that child. He’s really got a personality. How interesting."

F*ck! Everyone slapped their forehead. Bro, I think you’re misreading the issue here. (885)”

The dynamic established here of ‘SX misreading QF’ is consistent all the way to the end of the Challenger League. QF has just made an extremely symbolic gesture of support for SMC, YX, and YX’s ideals of pursuing victory without distraction. All of that meaning completely flies over SX’s head. His reading of the situation is pure, shallow surface meaning only. His reaction is an abrupt change of emotional tone, and helps draw a dividing line between the two characters from the very beginning. It also highlights the different maturity levels between the two characters (The very next line is the famous “It wasn’t Xiao Shiqin’s first time witnessing Sun Xiang’s stupidity,” btw XD).

Additionally, we can read the line about SX finding QF interesting as a suggestion that SX didn’t think QF was interesting before now. We don’t know when QF became his shadow, but this scene happens in December and QF has been on the team since August/September. The options I see here are either A. the two hadn’t interacted much B. They interacted but SX just didn’t know QF well. 

In our next interaction, QF has just lost his match to YX in the Challenger League group round:

"You played well." Sun Xiang actually acted like a captain for once and comforted Qiu Fei, who was returning to the bench. Qiu Fei smiled, but didn't say anything before returning to his seat, but his gaze was aimed at Excellent Era's competition booth. On the field, they didn't have any way to communicate with words. Everything was based on their mechanics, attacks, defense, movement, and dodges. In this match, Qiu Fei had given it his all, but still lost. However, there would always be defeat in competition. He might've lost this time, but next time he'd win for certain, no matter who he was up against.

After giving his encouragement to one of their players, he casually glanced towards Happy and suddenly raised his voice. "It's just a shame that you left a Ye Qiu with only half his health for me. Even if I win, there will be no honor in it! (1016)”

Again, SX completely misreads the situation. QF doesn’t need to be comforted. At all. The following narration makes that clear - QF is already looking toward his next match. The mismatched emotional tone here between QF’s state and SX’s reply even makes me cringe a little bit. Like his mentor YX (who SX has just disparaged), QF is thinking about victory, but SX is thinking about honor. Their priorities are completely different - QF & SX aren’t on the same wavelength at all. Even after SX has trained together with QF as his shadow for months, he doesn’t seem to know QF’s personality. Based on this interaction, I’d find it difficult to believe the two of them are close. 

Next, let’s take a look at their in-game exchanges during the Challenger League Finals and what they say about SX & QF’s partnership as light & shadow.

“It was easy to think of what Sun Xiang was feeling like after being played around like that. He had been preparing to show his superiority over Ye Xiu in this team competition. Not yelling at Qiu Fei to move to the side was already a huge improvement for him. (1039)”

I bring up this quote because it means that SX has previously yelled at QF...who’s supposed to be his shadow and whose entire job is to help him. And not doing so is a ‘huge’ improvement. 

I don’t intend this as ‘SX was mean to QF.’ Pre character development SX would probably yell at any of his teammates. It’s just especially ‘ouch’ because QF’s entire job is to stick by SX’s side and coordinate with OAL. 

Okay, next quote.

“In the end, Sun Xiang was forced to retreat and leapt backwards twice to just barely dodge the attack. However, Soft Mist wasn't done yet. She was just about to execute her next attack. However, Qiu Fei's Combat Style attacked from the flank, stopping Soft Mist from continuing her assault.

From an outsider's point of view, it was a very normal assistance from a teammate, but in Sun Xiang's eyes, it was disgraceful! Just Soft Mist alone had forced him to require Qiu Fei's assistance? (1040)

QF is supposed to be SX’s helper, but SX thinks being helped is disgraceful. The narrative even calls this out as unreasonable. When one half of a partnership rejects the other person’s help, that is not a strong or stable partnership. 

Here’s one more:

“Sun Xiang had originally planned on continuing to attack Soft Mist, but then saw Combat Form force her back. Annoyance flickered in his heart as he had One Autumn Leaf chase after her, but after the first step, he suddenly remembered that rescuing their healer should be their priority. He immediately turned around and headed towards Woven Shadow. As for Qiu Fei's Combat Form? He just quietly followed alongside One Autumn Leaf. Only a professional's eyes would have been able to see the significance of that Rising Dragon Soars the Sky. (1041)

Once again, QF acts exactly as a shadow ought to by covering SX’s mistakes, and it just makes SX annoyed with him. I’d like to pause here to remind you that QF’s dream was always to stand beside One Autumn Leaf and seek victory side by side with YX. As OAL’s shadow, technically he’s achieved a piece of that dream. But SX’s reactions here are a rejection of QF as his shadow. SX doesn’t want a partner, SX wants individual glory. 

How ironic, that QF should gain what he hoped for and be cruelly denied it at the same time.

If you’d like an extra bit of pain, I’ll remind you that QF is both perceptive and thoughtful. It isn’t unreasonable at all to believe that QF sensed SX’s attitude toward his help. :)

I’ll end with one last quote:

“Sun Xiang turned his view with this attack. What he saw caused him to charge over like he had gone crazy, trying to use his own body to block the three Anti-Tank Missiles.

But it was too late. Everything was too late. Lord Grim didn't just send out Anti-Tank Missiles. A grenade had also rolled over, across the ground.

Combat Form, Qiu Fei's Combat Form had run out of health.

The shadow that had been with him the whole way, helping him. In truth, Sun Xiang hadn't thought that he was very important, but in that moment, he truly wished to save Combat Form from death, willing, even, to use his own character, One Autumn Leaf, to shield his shadow from death.

But it was all too late. Engulfed by the light of the explosion, Combat Form could no longer escape and his health fell to zero. Combat Form, he had fallen.

AAAAAHHHHHH!

In the player booth, no one could hear how Sun Xiang had screamed. (1051)”

At the very end, SX realizes QF’s value. But it’s too late, both for the match and for his partnership with QF. SX transfers soon afterward and doesn’t get a chance to fix his mistakes.

I have to wonder - did SX’s belief that having a shadow wasn’t important transfer over into a belief that QF also wasn’t very important? Is this why SX doesn’t seem to know much about QF?

That’s the last we see of the two characters interacting, but I’ll point out that SX earns best partners with ZZK the very next season. Is that SX learning from his mistakes and throwing himself into becoming the best possible partner he could be? I’d like to think so. 

How does this dynamic play out when QF returns to the Alliance with EE? SX, older and wiser and aware how badly he failed QF...come on guys where’s the fic

This will all be moot in a month but I feel like I'm in danger of being misunderstood so I wanted to make my position more clear for the record:

I AM happy Sharon is shown to be hurt, angry and cynical. She's more than earned that. EVC is perfect for playing with the dark side of her character, she has plenty of great experience to tackle that duality. Exploring deeper layers of Sharon is a welcome shift.

I AM happy that the show acknowledges that Sharon was wronged after merely doing the right thing and has long been suffering the consequences of a punishment that vastly exceeds the crime. Of course that's changed her outlook, how could it not?

I AM happy that Sharon has still managed to build a stable life for herself despite all this pain; she is extremely self sufficient and capable and takes great pride in that. It's the emotional blow that stings her the most - she has survived but it never needed to be this hard.

I AM happy that she didn't welcome sam and bucky with open arms and chat like nothing was wrong. She gave up everything and look where it landed her; they were being naive and insensitive to think she'd so happily jump back into the fray for their sakes with nothing more than a raised eyebrow.

I AM happy that despite her misgivings and distrust, she still lent her strength to sam and bucky's efforts because at her core, that's who she is. She hasn't lost her sense of morality even if her heart isn't exactly in it like it used to be.

I AM unhappy about the execution of all of the above.

For example, you have Sharon ask about new cap. Before bucky can elaborate, she cuts him to the quick by accusing him of blind loyalty to the mantle. But that isn't accurate. If bucky's so-called arc is anything, it's demonstrating how his insecurity and lack of direction are causing his grudges to overtake his better judgement.

For him, *everything* is personal. He was steve's friend before he was captain america's, and that's where meaning dwells for him. He doesn't want the shield back or blame sam for giving it up too easily because of some idealogical obsession with 'stars and stripes bullshit' - he thinks it's a slight to steve that sam didn't honor his choice and that it's more than just government issue gear to be passed around. It represents many things (many of them bad, as the show points out) but he doesn't care about all that. To bucky it may as well be a family heirloom, considering what little he has left from his former life.

Of course, this is all what he has to overcome, to (re) establish his own position and identity in the world, and sharon isn't as privy to those struggles as the audience is. Allowing bucky and/or sam to actually elaborate on their issues with walker could have created an in for her to point out some hypocrisy or naivety on their part. But the opportunity was swiftly torpedoed because we really, really need the audience to get that sharon 2.0 is 'awful' now.

So what could she have criticized bucky for instead? Lucky for her, that problem was looking her right in the face drinking her expensive liquor. There is very little justification for the stunt bucky pulled behind sam's back by freeing zemo, and I can only assume consequences are around the corner. Yet again, bucky isn't seeing big picture, he's consumed by his own personal relationship to zemo and the super serum. He acted unilaterally based on his own fears and self doubts but wants to present his actions as logical and well reasoned. Zemo can help in the short term, but what is the cost?

Sharon, being the seasoned cynic she is now, would have seen through that in an instant. How difficult would it have been to jab at the irony, bucky being 'free' according to his therapist but chained to this person who used him as a tool, who continues to exploit his weaknesses, who seems to be far more in control than bucky is in the situation they're all in. Bucky is trying to prove something, he doesn't seem to be sure what that is yet, but he's stubbornly blinded himself to the possibility that he's going about it the wrong way. That is something that sharon could have rightfully called out, but for some reason bucky's most egregious flaw is presented as.... being steve's best friend.

Then you have her dealings with sam, who's problems are more from the other side of the spectrum. He isn't really allowed to bring his personal feelings to the table, he has to deal with the intense pressure of taking on a loaded persona when it may not actually ring true to him in his heart. He also trusted steve and had faith in what that specific cap stood for, but does that mean he's willing to put the whole system on his own shoulders now? He's trying to think above and beyond, about the legacies before him, about his own place in history when all is said and done.

Sam is all about big picture at this stage, and his journey would presumably have him work from the outside in. That's why the glimpses of his family life are invaluable, they give us that contrast between his day to day realities and the loftier, more abstract idealism of the falcon's (or cap's) heroism. His exploration is about staking his own personal claim on the symbolism of that shield, not just for his own sake but for the sake of those who will now look to him as a leader and an inspiration.

To be fair, I think some of sharon's dialogue with sam is marginally better, but still ultimately misses the mark. I envisioned an exchange where she might belittle his decision to continue acting as a representative of the same organization that failed her so spectacularly, suggesting he should tread carefully lest he find himself discarded once the government no longer finds him useful or compliant.

She...sort of got close to saying that? If I squint really hard I guess? But it's off because it's less about the posturing and politics of their roles and of 'the machine' so to speak, than it is about striving to do right when you can. It feels like she's criticizing the inherent value of what they try do rather than the shortcomings of the framework itself. If I get vibes that this sharon seems to waffle on whether or not she regrets what she did in CACW, that's not a good thing.

Bureaucracy, red-tape, iconography - all of the things walker is being parceled with; can you disentangle yourself while refusing to leave the system in the same state as you found it? If I want to be charitable I can chalk this up to semantics, but they haven't given me many reasons to be charitable so far.

Then you have the whole utterly nonsensical bargaining over her pardon (the stupidity of that particular exchange pointed out multiple times on reddit, of all places) and sharon's not-so-subtle suggestion that sam is basically lying to her when he says he can get her pardoned.

If she's trying to say she doesn't believe he actually has the pull to accomplish that, or that he's underestimating how difficult it would be, it's one thing. But saying that he's merely 'pretending' to clear her name is completely unfair. I don't care how ~jaded~ sharon is, there's no plausible reason for her to consider sam capable of such a lie and I find that an insult to them both. Naturally, I place blame squarely on kolstad's writing, and not on sharon herself. It's plain as day he didn't give a wink to a single implication he made with his script, nor does he care to do so.

Am I foolish for thinking her arc could be handled with more coherence? I like to think I'm already controlling for the lackluster quality of MCU writing in general; this actually surprised me. I expect basic and juvenile, but at least there's consistency. Frankly, I think Feige put a little too much slack in the reins here and the characters are paying the price.

Could I be crying wolf too soon before giving everything a chance to pan out? Of course, that's always a possibility and I'd be more than glad to eat crow if things turn out palatable in the end. Are the odds favorable that this will happen? Magic 8 ball says don't count on it, and I'm not in the habit of constantly lowering my standards until they're miraculously met.

I saw The Squid Game and here are thoughts (spoilers)

-First of all, maybe is my non korean ass being ignorant, but the shape they use through the entire thing to represent the Squid Game looks absolutely nothing like a squid and that has bothered me the entire time. I was waiting for someone to make sense of it and never happened. Was it just me? I was the only one who cared about the accurate representation of marine creatures through basic shapes? Yes? I am just being nitpicky? Okay.

-I already liked the actor who plays Jang Deok-su because of his role on another korean show, Beyond good and evil, that is an excelent mistery show I totally recommend, where he also plays as some kind of mafia lord that gets into trouble and is a little shit. Also he is hot as fuck, so that helps a lot. He was my personal favourite character right after Ali, a pakistan immigrant that was desperate to provide for his family, because Deok-su was such a fucking asshole that legitimately didn’t give a fuck about anything and that is always fun to see.

-And now that I mentioned him, Ali was too good for this fucking world and he didn’t deserved shit of what happened to him. Even before ever entering the game.

-The premise of this show is basically to contrast against how capitalism screws over people against basic kindness, which is antithesis to capitalism itself, and that i show we get to the final winner of the whole game. Now, there is a space to talk about how these type of stories could come across as kinda simplistic, but it doesn’t feel like the purpose of the show at all is to go out of it’s way to argue so much about this issue as just show the issue, show the consequences and talk about it within the context of a narrative.

-This is why my favourite episode of all has to be the one in which the majority of players decide to go home, after witnessing literal mass murder during the first game, only to realice life still fucking sucks for all of them and that is why they chose to participate on the first place. They still struggle to deal with the shit they did before, they still struggle to find money, even on circunstances in which nobody should have to fight so hard. It talks about a type of system that is so fundamentally broken and fucked up that it would really leave a diabetic elderly woman in pain to walk away to keep working simply because she doesn’t have the means to pay for her necesary treatment or even for her house if she doesn’t do that. -And sure, the reason why this happens is mostly because the protagonist had a gambling addiction that made him to waste all the money they did have, but ultimately he is not responsible for creating such hard conditions in the first place and the show goes out of it’s way to show different ways in which people are screwed over in ways they could have never had any control over, no matter how hard they worked. Some people chose to make their own mistakes and screw other people over, and they got to live with the results of that, but ultimately is all about the money and who has it, who gets it and who doesn’t, not about fairness or justice. So, when a big chunk realice that the outside world is just as hostile and unforgiving as before, they decide to come back because yeah, it’s hell, but at least they have a promise that things could turn better even if the cost is their own lives. Outside of the game they didn’t had not even that.

-I also really like how they contrasted the supposed principle behind the game against the actual structure of such, because at least I read it as a microcosmos representing the outside world as it is. Like of yeah, very fucking equal are people inside of this island where chain of command are still a thing, where they are still fucking pawns on someone’s else game whose rules they didn’t create or chose to, and where the people with the money literally laugh at their death because it’s that insignificant to them. Alright, yeah, keep telling youself that. But that is also the rationale outside, right? “Everyone has a chance to do better, if only you worked harder and keep trying surely you would be fine. Forget that the game was rigged against you from the start and don’t even fucking mind about the literal piles of bodies of nobodies that didn’t won like you did, because they didn’t worked as hard as you did. Don’t think too hard about it. Just keep working and then enjoy that money.” I don’t think you are meant to believe on that shit, but it’s what the Front Man tells himself to keep going. Everyone is equal… but some are more equal than others.

-On that sense it feels very reminiscent of the vibe that gave off Parasyte in it’s treatment of the same issue, so you can definitely enjoy it from that perspective or, if you don’t want to, can simply enjoy it as a entertaining, well made story about human drama and people literally struggling to survive, with some moments that will punch at your fucking heart and make you feel like shit as good stories tend to do.

-It’s a very aesthetically pleasing show, I can tell you that much. It’s not super artsy fartsy with a lot of symbolism going on, or maybe it was but it’s a cultural specific symbolism I didn’t catch on, but it’s still very competently made with a lot of just fucking beautiful shots in which every single frame matters and used with purpose. I don’t remember a single second that I was “why the fuck are you showing me this” because it’s actually what they DON’T show you what ends up mattering.

-Having said that, the show does have it’s twists and turns but they aren’t super difficult to not see coming if you pick up on how the show works. I wasn’t shocked by the ending because I had already seen the hows, they actually help you to come to it by going out of their way to always show you the dead bodies of past characters, so when they don’t actually do that it does stand out and if you pick on that then you can see it coming. So I personally wouldn’t recommend this show on the basis “the twist will surprise you!” because I don’t think that is right mindset to come into it. Come for the story and stay for the characters, that are all well worth it, not for the twists.

-The ending was an obvious cliff hanger for the next season, which I am fine with, but I also liked it because it kept consistent with the main character himself. Like sure, he does see how bullshit the whole game actually is, but it’s also, and this might be just my own interpretation, keeping up with what we have established already with him about having a gambling addiction because he genuelly enjoys the thrill. It’s not about the winning money, because if that were the case then he wouldn’t be immediately giving it away the second he has some, but just the winning and losing only to try again which keeps him going on. Also there is a tiny little implication that the man actually is using his gambling addiction as a consequences of untreated PTSD after watching his friend die during a protest like some form of self medication, since when he is losing or winning at least he is not having flashbacks or thinking how he tried to fight the system before one single time and it was all downhill from there. But that might be just my own intepretation again and not necesarily something they wanted to establish. In any case, that his entire character arc ends up being “he wins all the games for the first time… but at what cost” is still a very satisfactory one, so for him to be the only one to come back to play, hopefully so he can destroy it from within, is really the most interesting ending I could have imagined for him.

-I also really liked how they firmly established a narrative where some people come together through pure generosity (the group that the protagonist made) or through fear/intimidation (the group that Deok-su made). Every member from the first group comes to unite through little acts of kindness and then the protagonist just kept winning because they helped him out one way or another. He didn’t just won because he was the smartest, the most resilient or anything, but because he formed strong enough relationships with everyone to allow him keep advancing, showing another flaw of the game’s logic. See, because you are meant to work all on your own and be a lone wolf in wolf street and eliminate everyone that gets in your way, because that is supposed to be the only way you can “win”. But he doesn’t win like that, he literally just stumbled on with people he was nice to and then they were nice back to him until the end, where he kept betting on people being decent and end up winning the last bet.

-Of course, this winning doesn’tcover still for the great devide that exist between the protagonist and the men who put him through that hell. The comparison of the old man does between what a poor person with no money and a multimillionare have is fucking bullshit that rings hollow, because the poor person would have never have the power to do what they did to anyone and the things the poor person concern themselves with are note ven a thought for the powerful. But it makes sense that he thinks that way when he is literally an observer of the common people from a literal tower, safe by all the medical care that his money could get him. The biggest difference between him and the protagonist is that of looking at the value of human lives, and then their only point of connection is the love of games. The old man was looking at everyone losing their lives but he himself was never in any danger from it, so of course he got to just have a good time fooling everyone and playing around.

-Honestly, the more I think about it, fuck the old man, what a fucking dick.

-Until I see a dead body I won’t believe that the cop is dead, and I hope he isn’t because he and The Front Man have pending a long fucking conversation about what the fuck happened. It’s obvious that the Front Man has fully bought on the nonsense of the system, but the fact he still is pained for what he did to his brother could hint to him having a change of heart somehow that could be very interesting to see if well handled.

-The lady that was briefly with Deok-su was just mean. She and Deok-su made a good couple of two perfectly mesh dickheads, and I was actually kinda sad when they had to go but also thought it was the only appropiate ending for the both of them so, good job on that one.

-The way that the norkorean lady was finished was fucking bullshit though. Like, equal opportunities my cat, how the fuck is fair to make players play after recieving injuries from easily preventable hazzards made AFTER already beating a game? It would be like the doll detecting someone that someone still had a finger on the other side of the line and shooting it anyway even though the rest of the body was out. Like, they literally set that up in a way to hurt someone and they got what they wanted, but if different chunks of glass just perforated the skull of the three of them or something like that? Then there wouldn’t be any game for them to enjoy and no winner either.  All those richy rich richsons would have made their travel all the way there for fucking nothing. Yeah, it’s a very slim possibility but why even risk it like that so close to the finale? Narratively speaking I know why it happened, it makes sense because that allowed for the rest of the story to advance, but in-universe it really doesn’t and it was literally just to take her out of the way quick for the next plot point to take place. That was literally the only death that left me actually unsatisfied because it came out of nowhere, it wasn’t because of anything she did or could have prevented and it was so unceremonious. Like, you could have probably think some way for her to reach the same place without making so obvious you are pushing her there.

-She did looked very good on that suit, though. I wonder if the reason they gave her a suit and not a dress was because they never imagined that a woman could ever reach that far in the competition, because somehow I doubt they were specifically pushing for breaking gender norms. During a lot of the games everyone talks about how having women in your team is a disadvantage because strenght and “makes you look weak”, so I guess it makes sense that the people behind the game also had the same rationale and never even fucking bothered to get something new for her even when she turned out as a finalist. It would also explain why there is not a single employee on the entire island who is a woman, or at least none of the ones whose faces we actually get to see. Which I guess could work as another subtle evidence that despite all the posturing, there was never a “equal opportunity for all” sentiment behind any of it. The women were there literally assumed to be destined to fail from the very start. I hope that if that was the intention we get to explore a little bit of that on the next season.

-I have already seen some opinions about the show, so I might be alone on this one, but I appreciated the character of Sangwoo for what he was and how, despite all the bullshit he pulls, he is not all that evil like Deok-su and the mean lady. He genuelly helped Ali at the start without expecting anything in return because Ali helped the protagonist first, not even because he was the one getting the benefit himself, but he was also the man who turned himself into a criminal because he got greedy and wanted even more than the money he had. Like yeah, he was a selfish piece of shit, but he was allowed human moments and kept it interesting until the end. Also the actor was hot so that didn’t hurt.

-In conclusion: Ali was too good for this world.

If you enjoyed this sorta review, rambling or whatever this is about the show, and want to see more, consider supporting me through Ko-fi.

A Wild Sheep Chase: Chapter 2 of Choujin X!

It's here! I've gushed about the chapter over at my Twitter, but like I said in my previous post, I want to see how the story progresses and keep a log about it. So here it goes!

Background info on Ely Otsuta

So before we delve into Chapter 2 which almost exclusively featured Ely... Let's take note of the new things we learned about Ely:

She's from a rural prefecture. I think she lives in the mountainside specifically since that's where she grows her tomatoes.

She's a greenthumb (we already kinda knew this from the previous chapter but we learn more about her life pre-Choujin X). I understand that even if the soil is infertile, she's able to grow tomatoes so nutritious and plump. So plump, they resemble butts, hence, "bumbums!" It appears she uses advanced equipment for her farming stuff. So yeah, based on these, it's established Ely has a green thumb!

Oh, and it appears that it's clarified that her "Grandpapi" whom she talks about in the 1st chapter is an adoptive grandfather (not biological, hence, maybe in the future we'd know her parents and learn why Ely is special).

It's just me but I get the impression that Ely is being introduced as some sort of "fertility" choujin, since she also dreams of having 9 kids. Haha!

It's kinda weird though why the burning tomato has a face. Was it just from her dream, since after plucking a bumbum - she woke up? Hmm, after some thought, I think the burning tomato with a face is just from her dream.

Ely Wakes Up from Reality

When Ely woke up, she finds herself in the South Yamato prefecture. Okay, so I think this leaning tower of some sort has a significance to the story.

It's featured in every spread with the title "Choujin X" and also in the last chapter. Can you see it? Maybe it has something to do with how the powers are made, like pollution-related or a botched experiment. Dunno. Just my wild speculation.

A Wild Sheep Chase

This is the exciting part. So when Ely wakes up, Chandra Hume offers to "escort" her, but really it appears he wants to kidnap her. And from, *checks the manga* page 10 to 40, we have Ely running away from Chandra until she fell in what looks like a similar area where Tokio and Azuma fought Johnny Kiyoshi Takeyama.

The chase sequence consisting of 30 pages were so fun and I was smiling all the while I was reading! Ely is so cute trying to parkour her way through the buildings (kinda reminds me of Touka?? I miss Touka!). Chandra looks really cool, he seemed to be flying too, using his powers (more on that later)!

But not to be outdone, Ely borrows a "Roller Boy Yay-Yay" which basically is a scooter with something that resembles a driver's wheel. Its literal translation of ローラーBOYイェイ・イェイ -- which, checking Twitter and in Ishida's latest live stream, I think the locals found it hilarious too. Ishida is just unleashing his crazy here, I love it!

After that sequence, we get the tractor and sheep chase. Ah! I love it.. So what happened is that, Chandra and Ely fall off from their Roller Boy Yay-Yay. Ely who just claimed she can outrun Chandra if she were riding a tractor, suddenly found one right in front of her! Then Chandra lands near a gang... or should I say, a flock of sheep-bikers. They're all wearing these Kanji-printed tracksuits and basically look like they're a bunch of delinquents? They even describe themselves as "cryptid bikers"... Cryptid supposedly means mysterious? Idk why the weird choice of words for the translation though.

Funnily, I was just reading Haruki Murakami's A Wild Sheep Chase (羊をめぐる冒険 --- Hitsuji o meguru bōken or literally An Adventure Surrounding Sheep). I wonder if this scene something to do with this book?

Anyway, Chandra entices the sheep to help hip capture Ely by bribing them with a Docomo flip phone. I don't know why a flip phone - could mean the following: (a) the sheep are so poor, a flip phone is cool; (b) maybe flip phones are a status symbol in that universe; (c) maybe the setting is in the 2000s when the flip phones really were all the rage.

So they all chase Ely, but Chandra suddenly has a car too. Someone on Twitter said it's a Porsche? But I can't tell, though Chandra said his car is a four-wheel drive... Heh? Idk what to do with this info.

As for Ely, she is really good with the tractor as she said. The hilarity of outrunning motorcycles and what could be a Porsche. That tractor prowess! Later on, Chandra and the other sheep figure into an accident with a "safety-loving" truck (oh the irony, lol). Chandra flew off the car and so did his fancy shoes...

Ely didn't exactly come out unscathed. Ishida allocated 4 double spreads for this epic fall. Some of the sheep definitely should have died from that spectacular accident.

At first, Ely was smug about escaping the sheep. But then, I think she was moved by compassion and I think she hurt herself in order to revive the sheep. I just wonder though, how she learned to do that?

Then we get another awesome double spread of her transformation, similar to Tokio's. Augh Ishida-sensei. These are soooo good!!!!

Because of her transformation, the whole area was engulfed with smoked and I think the sheep were effectively revived. It appears Chandra saw all this (while he was regenerating... so we now know choujins or at least smoke choujins like Chandra has regenerative powers), hence he marveled at Ely's newfound power. It was kinda confirmed that Ely was responsible for keeping the casualties to a minimum. Specifically he said Ely possesses: quick judgment, though resolve, persistence... making her a human with the makings of a choujin... while also kinda noting Ely's silliness.

Here we go again with Chandra's "fancy gentleman" facade... Even the way he talks is fancy ("I am well-acquainted with the roads here") but more than that... he's self-important. I talked about my other views on his character on Reddit. I get the impression he's something of a "Choujin supremacist", you know what I mean? So, he wants to kinda recruit Ely into his organization or whatever.

Ely is righteous

So we see that Ely is further introduced as a good character, standing up against Chandra and rejecting his offer to be his pupil or something. Ely was clearly upset about the grandma getting hurt (did she die? I hope she didn't) and made it clear she would never join him. Chandra takes offense at this rejection, especially when Ely said Chandra is worse than a turd.

As Chandra tries to inflict pain on Ely (something about marking her on the face), she recalls her resolve from Chapter 1: drones for farming, a greenhouse, her grandpappy, a mansion, the big dog, paying back the kid for his roller boy yay-yay, the Goldilocks hubbie, nine kids... But just before we can see if she can fight Chandra off...

The most handsome man of all Sui Ishida's works (haha!)

This buff mysterious man with a bandana reminiscent of the Teenage Ninja Mutant Turtles seemed to have blown Chandra and Ely (also the cars and motorcycles) away by a mere clap of his hands. It appears even Chandra is afraid of this guy and recognizes him... he leaves the scene using his smoke powers before the guy can do serious damage. I think his power has something to do with wind since there was like a little hint with all the ventilation stuff in the setting.

The guy manages to create a circle of protection around Ely. He tells Ely that Chandra's modus is to target "people with aptitude like Ely". He helpfully mends Ely's punctured hand with his bandana.... And when Ely looks up at his face, what do you know? Haha!

Our girl Ely has a love interest! Haha.

Tokio's Gregor Samsa moment

I've observed from the manga I've read that characters with transformation abilities always, always go through this adjustment period with the power. Gregor Samsa, Peter Parker, our boy Kaneki... Anyway, it seems Tokio doesn't know or can't turn back into a normal-looking person. But the last panel sure is interesting because we have them experiencing this transformation at the same time. Also, since it reminds me of Touka and Ayato's volume cover. I hope they find each other soon though!

Types of Choujins and initial premises on the Power of Choujins

So there are 3 confirmed types so far: Flexi (Johnny), Bestial (our boy Tokio), and Smoke. It seems that pretty boy Hoshi doesn't have a category yet, but like I said I think his has something to do with air or ventilation lol.

We learned that Chandra is a Smoke Choujin, and Ely is now one too and she was may have been somehow infected by Chandra's smoke/fumes. It appears now that there are 2 ways to become a choujin: injection and inhalation. Chandra wonders if Ely was infected with his power... But I'm thinking the infection theory might not be that accurate. After all, it seems Ely has a green thumb.

But, I think as Chandra said, only some people have an aptitude for this. So, Ely and Tokio are examples. I wonder if Azuma also has choujin powers or did it not manifest yet? Is the aptitude inherent or something you can acquire? If so, what does Tokio have that Azuma doesn't, especially since everyone thinks Azuma is "better" than Tokio in all aspects?

We'll find out in Chapter 3 more or less!! I'm sorry for any grammar mistakes! I'd like to hear your thoughts or comments if any :)

I’ve been wanting to make a Moomin of for a while now, but don’t know where to start. If it wouldn’t be any trouble could you post about how to make a accurate Moomin oc? Or what types of species there are in the show?

Oh, no problem!  Moomins OCs are fun.  Though I gotta say, the possibilities for making “accurate” Moomins OCs are basically endless, since even Tove herself didn’t try too hard to make things internally consistent in the series, and changed a few things to best suit the stories as needed.  You’d be hard-pressed to find a completely “wrong” way to make a Moomins OC.

A great idea would be, if you’re able, to take a good hard look at the characters and world of whatever piece(s) of Moomins media you’re going off of.  The ’90s anime is the most popular for fanartists, and the 2019 cartoon is gaining a foothold, but the original books and comics are full of little details!  And even though some of the less popular adaptations are, well… less popular (and often untranslated), they can still provide inspiration!

As for species, there’s quite a bunch!  There’s the species of the main characters, but there is a LOAD of variety to go off of if you look at any background characters, too.  The blog “moomintrivia” has made a few posts about the species in Moomins, which are worth peeking at: (x) (x) (x)

There are lots of species to choose from, and it’s expanded further when one knows that many characters’ names (for some reason) are also used like they’re part of a whole species or race of creatures.  There are moomintrolls, snorks, mymbles, whompers, hemulens, fillyjonks, little woodies… and there could also be misabels and gaffsies.  “Little Creep” seems to cover a lot of species, and some use “toffle” to describe more humanoid ones (they’re all called “knytt” in the books).  Snufkin and the Joxter are both mumriks, but “snufkin” is also used like a species name in the English translation; it seems like one could have fun attempting to worldbuild what makes up the difference between a snufkin and a joxter.And there’s plenty of less-central species that pop up and can be used, too!  Like the sea horses (sometimes called “seafillies”), boobles, and grokes.  I highly recommend looking at background characters in Tove’s illustrations for design inspiration, since they have a lot of variety.

Moomins has always featured talking animals and mythical creatures, so that broadens the possibilities even further!  If you already have an animal OC, fursona, or an OC that’s something like a mermaid or cryptid, it shouldn’t be too much trouble to work them into the world of Moomins.  Heck, counting the comics, even aliens aren’t out of the question.

Some characters are never given a clear species, like Too-ticky and Ninny; their most obvious nonhuman traits are just their small size and animal feet.  If you want to mix and match traits from different species, it’s all well and good!  If you like to draw, maybe try doodling a few possible designs using different parts and colors that Moomins characters tend to have, and see which ones you’d like to develop further.

You’re not limited by how deep how make their story, either.  They don’t all need to be as symbolic and mysterious as the Groke, sometimes all you need is “this hemulen collects plants”.  And you don’t have to come up with it all at once, either!  If your idea is something like “depressed moomintroll girl” and not much else, that’s okay!!  Sometimes it takes time to get to know your own characters, and what some of the smaller details about them are.  There’s no need to rush.

You might be interested in the “Which Moomins character am I?” personality quiz, too.  If you take it two or three times and get different results (as tbh ten questions is quite small to gauge a personality, and one could be honest answering in many different ways), you could try using the species of the characters you get as starting points!

tl;dr – Tove did whatever felt right, and so can you!  Official material can provide a big help, but what’s important is to have fun creating and not get too upset over the little things.

Farthest North

BY: DatFandomGirl1 -| A CountryHumans AU |-  \\A few things before we start: 1: The tallest countries are USSR and Third Reich, this is due to the fear of them that grew while they were in power (Or their egos if you want a good laugh) - also for the story’s sake. 2: Provinces, States or Territories are children unless forced to grow up or decide to become a country.  3: The CountryHumans live in their own dimension, but can go between their world and the human world via a ring, which is decorated buy their respective flag. Only the owner of the ring can use it. It can take them anywhere as long as they can think of an adjective that can directly connect to that person/place/thing. 4: Humans can go to the CountryHuman world but only stay for a few minutes before fading back into their own world. 5: There are some historical inaccuracies which will be marked with this symbol (!), the correct information will be given below the chapter. 5: Translations of foreign words (Not English) will be at the bottom of each chapter, please forgive me if some are not accurate, I am only beginning to learn German and am mostly using Google translate for lack of bilingual and/or foreign friends. 6: I describe USSR as a corrupted Russian Empire, considering both were brutal and absolutely horrid. Please enjoy the story! It is by no means meant to make fun of, offend or call out any one race, nationality or government, and does not represent the opinions of any one people.

I will be updating once a week.

--- Chapter 1 -- You Have Mail

Word count: 1063

    America, Russia, Japan, China, Poland, Australia - so many countries, a big world it is, out there. Dangerous, sometimes cruel, unruly and painful. America knew it when he separated from his father's hierarchy, but it was better than being treated like an uncared for adopted child. He knew the story of Les Misérables. He declared that he would never treat his children as such, those being the States. He cared for each and every one of them, though what he called "business" often took him away. He wasn't a total flop of a father, he'd visit every single one of his precious kids... at least, that's what he thought.

         "Has anyone seen America?" Canada questioned those who were already eating at the table, their current meeting place being chosen by Russia: a bar.

         "Someone came by with a letter," announced Japan, her smile showing how oblivious she was at the fact America took the time to answer something like that. Get togethers like this usually made him ignore matters that needed his attention, "Said something about an estate."

Canada nodded, and sat in the empty seat, knowing the star clad patriot would simply steal Russia's.

     The happy country came back, dumping Russia from his chair, as Canada predicted, and sat down, the letter no where to be seen.

         "How's it popping 'Cans?" He asked with a wide smile, glasses hiding his eyes.

         "Not to bad," he answered, "Japan said something about a letter?"

         "Oh, yeah," he blew a raspberry, "Some prank, nothing serious."

Oh how wrong he was.

     The group, consisting of America, Japan, Canada, Russia and Germany, broke their "meeting" after Russia decided to go for a third bottle of hard liquor, dragging him to Germany's car, who decided he would drive him home. Japan announced that she had some business with another trade partner, so she left the group after another ten minutes of babble. Then the five became two, brothers 'till the end, walking down the sidewalk since they had nothing else to do.

         "How are the States?" Canada asked, genuinely curious. America had been spending a bit more time with them lately.

         "They're great," he chuckled, "Delaware just celebrated her 232nd birthday! She's so cute. I was able to get Japan to make dolls that resembled the two men on her flag!"

The country was so proud of his first state, glad that she would never grow up, unless she decided to become a country, that is... but that wouldn't happen, he takes care of all of his children, daughters and sons, so they all remained with the size and somewhat the mindset of children.

         "How's Arizona? I hear she's had quite the wake up call with the sudden cold snap." Canada inquired, making America laugh.

         "Oh dear, it's 90 instead of 190, whatever will she do?" He laughed, the poor girl claimed she was freezing to death in these winter months.

     The two walked in a comfortable silence for awhile. The air was clear, a perfect Pennsylvania afternoon. The little tike was probably somewhere playing in the dirt, or helping some of the Amish folk with their work. He loved to help, always eager to get down in the dirt or play with the farm animals. Pennsylvania was an animal lover for sure, not as crazy a lover as Australia, nowhere close, considering these were mostly domesticated animals, but his love for nature showed most definitely. The birds chirped, sending a witty air toward the two countries, who laughed when an orange tabby ran by, trying to catch whatever species of bird its eyes were on. The colder dirt road before them ran for miles, unpaved until it reached the city, several miles away. Amish country was so natural, practically untouched. No electricity, cars, WiFi. Nothing of the sort. So relaxing.

         "So... what was the letter about exactly?" Canada dared interrupt the soft sound of breezing silence.

         "It was a declaration of independence," he shrugged, "It was from one of my states, I don't think it said which, but I haven't felt anything nagging at me, and my 50 hasn't turned to 49. It's a joke, all my kids love me!"

So sure. Yes, all his children loved him, but he didn't love them equally.

         "I think we need to get going..." Canada looked at his phone, finding it to be later than he intended to stay out, "We have a world meeting, remember?"

America groaned. He hated those. Always so boring, they never needed him around anyway.

         "Want me to drop you off at your house?" He sighed, bringing out a ring with his flag engraved into it.

         "No, thank you," Canada smiled, bringing out a ring with his own flag engraved, "I remembered my key this time."

The two smiled at each other, and America gave a playful salute before throwing the ring on the ground, Canada mimicking the action, and they left through the worm hole, each stepping into their living room.

     Yawning, America decided that now would be the time to clean up the party mess. Hats laid strewn around, party poppers littered the floor, and a half eaten birthday cake slice was still on the coffee table. He chuckled, remembering how his little Delaware was so surprised when the lights came on. He was glad that the CountryHumans were able to have their own private world, or else the humans would have complained about noise. His neighbors complained anyway, of course. 

     If you looked outside you'd see  a world like any other, a small city, population: 195 (not including states or territories). America's mansion held all of his children, though they were currently in the human world having the time of their lives. He remembered his father's palace, Britain, a powerful country, in his time anyway. Now all that's ever really talked about is the royal family, nothing that determined the life or death of another country.

     Finishing what cleaning he wanted to do, the man looked at his watch. Time to go. America took hold of his ring again, and with one simple thought, threw it on the ground, stepping into the grand meeting room. When the worm hole closed, he picked up his ring, stashing it into his pocket. He dawned a lazy smile below his signature sunglasses, until he saw who stood in the middle of the circular seating area.

         "Alaska?"

The War of the Words, Part 5: Counterstrike

Previous installments of this essay have repeated the point that the tactics used by nazis, terfs, and other varieties of bigot are those adopted by a force with a numerical and strategic disadvantage when facing a larger and stronger opponent, among other things. This may have given the impression that these types will eventually just die out. While I believe that this is true in the long term, it is demonstrably true that they can still do considerable damage in the short term, so this is unfortunately not the kind of problem that will solve itself. Action must be taken to undermine them at every possible juncture. This is especially true given that the current, semi-covert “secret agent” / muddy-the-waters approach was adopted because previous open displays of aggression were not getting the results they wanted. It is entirely possible that a shift in strategy will occur again and allow them to make more headway than they presently are.

Any given strategy employed by the nazis and terfs and racists has one or more potential counter-strategies, but simply waiting to recognize a specific type of propaganda or psychological manipulation or social engineering method puts everyone else on the defensive - by the time the problem is recognized and understood, it has already been effective for some time and may allow for a certain amount of momentum. Also, rapidly shifting strategies can lead to the defensive side lagging behind or being overwhelmed, which is one of the potential advantages of the “increase the signal to noise ratio when it comes to dog whistles” approach mentioned previously.

Therefore, as the old saying goes, the best defense is a good offense. The best chances of combating these ideologies involves going after them directly, rather than trying to play damage control after the fact (although that is also important.) And to do this most effectively requires a certain level of understanding of the psychology (and pathology) of the kinds of minds that are most amenable to fascism and radical exclusionism and racism.

The most important point worth considering is what I have taken to calling the Fascism Paradox. Fascism derives its name from the Fasces, a symbol that was adopted during the days of the Roman Empire and then appropriated by authoritarian political movements in the early twentieth century. It consists of a bundle of rods tied together, incorporating a handle and axe head, and the symbolism is pretty straightforward; a single stick might break, but a bundle of them together is much more robust. The obvious idea behind it is that many people united in a single cause and goal can accomplish what an individual cannot, which is why it was adopted by so many governmental offices and magistrates before the early twentieth century.

The titular paradox is that the Fasces symbolizes strength despite being an admission of weakness. The whole point of tying the rods together is because an individual rod is inadequate to the task at hand. Likewise, most authoritarian displays of power revolve around numbers; large military parades, massive rally crowds, mobs of angry young men wearing polo shirts and carrying lawn torches. The power of symbolism, and the attraction they hold, is a door that swings both ways; those who are attracted to the idea of fascism are those who are individually weak, and can only achieve strength and power by proxy, as part of a larger group.

Given that knowledge, the obvious counter is to strip away the protections of the group itself. After the Unite the Right rally, quite a large number of participants were identified by photographic evidence where they did nothing to conceal their identities, and the social consequences were considerable. These individual people were not part of a larger, dangerous force; they were people with names and addresses and once people could pair them with the faces in the photographs, it was basically open season. This technically wasn’t even doxxing; nobody can realistically make a claim to privacy when they are in a  public space, much less when they are deliberately drawing attention to themselves. (The lessons learned from this are implicit in the “secret police” tactics used by unidentified federal agents in Portland as of this writing.)

If this sounds like a roundabout way of saying “Divide And Conquer”, it’s because there’s another element to the paradox. A bundle of sticks may be stronger than any individual stick, but the strength of said bundle is still limited by the strength of the individual sticks. For an object lesson in why this is important, compare breaking a single uncooked spaghetti noodle with an entire package of uncooked spaghetti. The whole package technically puts up more resistance, but the difference is marginal in comparison to the forces involved. So it is with fascism and the people who are enticed by it; because their attraction to the group and the cause is motivated (subconsciously or not) by an attempt to mitigate personal weaknesses, the group itself inherits all off these weaknesses. This is especially true when it comes to the subject of morale and courage under fire; each individual in the group is relying on the group as a whole, and they take their cues from each other, so as soon as one person falters everyone around them starts to hold back. The result is a chain reaction of hesitation and lost momentum. (This can be seen in real time when watching videos of right wing protests fighting with counter-protest groups, and can also be seen in recordings of police and riot cops against protestors when a charge doesn’t immediately turn into a rout.)

This paradox also comes into play with another peculiar psychological characteristic: Being disgusted or enraged by compassion. Compassion directed towards weakness can serve as a reminder of said weakness, or an admission, or symbolize a loss or negation of strength; the human mind is very complex and this can get rationalized and justified many different ways, but it all comes back to a central idea; that they can’t or don’t have what they want more than anything. This is another reason why these groups turn on each other at the drop of a hat, because displaying compassion for, or receiving compassion from another, is an insult in a culture where strength is prized: “I’m helping you because you’re weak and you need my help / pity / support.”

(In a world, and especially a year, where the hits keep coming and they don’t stop coming like some sort of Fae contract involving a Smash Mouth song, this attitude is even less healthy than it normally is.)

The sense of personal weakness at the heart of the paradox can take multiple forms, not just physical strength. Financial stability, social leverage, political authority, health and wellness, even good looks can all qualify. What matters is it’s something that a person wants and does not have. This by itself is the origin of most conspiracy theories; some other nation or ethnic group or political party is hoarding or stealing all the food or medicine or political power, and if they weren’t, things would be different. The conspiracy theory angle is so complicated it requires its own essay to explore in full, so for the purposes of brevity and clarity we will leave that unaddressed for now; all we need to focus on is the idea that these people want something that they can’t have. The “can’t have” part especially plays into the idea of radicalization and recruitment. Somebody who wants to be physically strong can work out and get swole, and can measure their progress over time in terms of sets and reps. As a matter of fact, they have to in order to determine what exercises are working for them. How much they can lift and for how long and with what body parts will vary greatly depending on factors like genetics, environment, childhood and adult nutrition, but what matters is that it can be quantified and measured and progress can be seen.

But fascists, or perhaps it would be more accurate to say, fascism-susceptible people, are in a different situation. As much as they glorify, praise, and fetishize strength and power, what really drives them is their weakness. No matter how ripped they may be and how much they can bench, it’s never enough; they will always be afraid and insecure and there is always the possibility, if not the certainty, of somebody stronger. It’s the difference between wanting to be strong and wanting to not be weak. This also applies to knowledge, to social acumen, to power and influence. So long as they are unable or unwilling to confront the root cause of what drives them - to admit their weakness in whatever form they find intolerable - they can’t come to terms with it psychologically, never mind take action to correct it practically.

This leads directly to the next strategy for dealing with fascists; mockery and ridicule. The insecurity and weakness that drives fascism is bone deep and borders on the universal, and this is why so many alt-right insults are disparaging terms referring to a perceived lack of strength or fortitude or power. Trying to use those specific terms against them is about as effective as children on a playground going “I’m rubber, you’re glue” but individual insults and derogatory remarks are not what’s important; the underlying insecurity is. Simply not treating them with the deference and respect they desire is itself a potent starting point, and from there any number of comedic possibilities present themselves. Autocratic and authoritarian regimes are notorious about cracking down on dissent for this reason even more than an attempt to keep the citizenry from being agitated; just look at Vladimir Putin’s heavy handed retaliation against Russia’s internet access when somebody photoshopped heavy makeup onto his face. Wannabe dictators with no power can’t remove the object of their ridicule and it eats them alive from the inside out.

The final aspect of this counter attack strategy has to do with enemy morale and opposition. As stated in previous parts of the essay, a number of fascists and crypto-fascists abandoned the cause and ideology when they decided it was less stressful to stop being one. In other words, leave the door open for somebody to switch sides. Consider an analogy where Fascism is an island; some people will burn all their bridges in pursuit of the ideology, but others might not; if other people burn those bridges, the result is the same and they end up trapped on Fascism Island anyway, so they have nothing to lose by doubling down. A number of people on and off Tumblr have discussed this topic and the problems with what is called “essentialist” thinking long before this essay was written; there is a nearly decade old TED Talk by a DJ called Jay Smooth who suggested we start thinking of bias and prejudice the same way we think about hygiene like brushing our teeth, that prejudice is something people do as opposed to an inescapable part of their character.

It’s worth keeping in mind that this may be interpreted as weakness by the fascist or fascists in question and this may prompt them to redouble their attacks or attempt to “play” the person giving them an out in order to get information or undermine their confidence or even try to recruit them into the fascist cause; it’s also worth keeping in mind that it is impractical and unrealistic to expect everyone to adopt this approach. Some people have lost too much personally, and some people are too close to the ideological or physical front lines to even consider letting their guard down. Not everyone can be Reverend Wade Watts.

God, We're All Tired: Female Conflict in Killing Eve's Season One Finale

So I'm sure 1x08 has been analysed to death, but seeing as we're winding up to the end of Killing Eve's second season (sad face), I thought I'd jump in with a completely unsolicited reflection on the ultimate culmination of Villanelle and Eve's mutual obsession and pursuit. I'll kick off by saying that from the start, we knew this moment would be interesting, for a whole slew of reasons: Firstly, from the get-go, we were shown that Killing Eve was here to subvert and reconstruct; it's deeply oriented within its genre, but it's irreverent, and even what I would describe as a reclamation of spy-fi. Specifically, it's a female-led narrative taking ownership of a set of texts and tropes that have consistently objectified and excluded women by turns. From its inception, the psychological thriller genre has delighted in a) withholding women's agency, and killing/torturing/assaulting them, both to shock viewers and to lend pathos to the motivations of male characters, and b) revelling in their "expiration" from sexual desirability, and casting the "ailing crone" as the villain orchestrating events. Killing Eve has absolutely no interest in ever reducing its women to their component parts. There are no pedestals, and there are no pitchforks. As a show, it hits all the golden points of suspense television, and completely reimagines the rest; it's a masterpiece balacing act of keeping the classic cat-and-mouse recogniseable, while allowing Eve and Villanelle to each be both the predator and the prey.

Secondly, our two protagonists are women. Highly unusual and exceptional women -- that's inarguable -- but nevertheless, they've been socialised in particular ways. What's so fascinating here is that both have been injected with a comfort in and enjoyment of theatrical violence that's usually reserved for male villains. However, even at their most ruthless, there's an innate intimacy to both of them -- unlike, say, for example, the Joker, Villanelle's flamboyance and love affair with destruction never manifest as mass-killings or the eradication of infrastructure (like blowing up a hospital). Villanelle exacts each murder with the creativity of the truly engaged and passionate, but it's always personal and unique, usually one-on-one. She doesn't have a vendetta against the world, either; she finds beauty in it -- in ice-cream and movies and nice architecture or fun clothes. Similarly, Eve is enthralled by Villanelle's flair for the deadly and the dramatic, but it's not born out of a spite for humanity, but a sense of artistry and a consuming need for some adrenaline in her otherwise numb and mundane life. These complexities muddle their emotions and motivations, and make it difficult for even the most television-literate to semi-accurately predict their storylines.

Thirdly, Eve and Villanelle are never positioned as diametrically opposed. This in itself is not exactly out of the left field -- a lot of media with a dark focal point or mature subjects introduce heroes and villains who share key traits (e.g. Sherlock and Irene, in CBS's Elementary), or even comparable goals (e.g. Black Panther's Killmonger and Nadia both want to open Wakanda's borders). In most cases, though, the antagonist will represent some kind of seduction to the 'other side', that the protagonist inevitably resists the allure of (e.g. Andy realising Miranda isn't who she wants to grow up to be -- successful but alienated -- and goes back to her excuse of a boyfriend in TDWP). But while Eve and Villanelle are very much established as one another's temptations, we also see that they'll grant the other access to a part of the world that is, for now, barred from them: Villanelle and Eve will stop each other from being bored. They "resist the allure" not because they fear moral wrongdoing, but because they cling to their respective images of themselves -- Eve, as someone "nice and normal", who happens to have a grey area for a hobby, and Villanelle, as someone independent, in control, with no lines she wouldn't cross. Way back in the pilot, we're shown that they don't actually WANT to destroy each other. Villanelle is too interesting to Eve, Eve is too attractive to Villanelle. Yes, they pose a significant threat to their respective lifestyles, but as we've had proven, they're becoming willing to risk that if it means gaining something more. They don't reflect a sinister alternative timeline of "look what you could've been" (which is inherently hero-centric, and Killing Eve pays as much attention to Villanelle as Eve), they offer each other a "look what you could still be", that is at once dark and hopeful -- something that they've really elaborated on in this second season. But 1x08, even though it is very much the symbolic collision that is the centrepiece of all chase stories, is not their first meeting. Villanelle goes to Eve's house in the (iconic) 1x05. So why not save that for the finale? Why not build and build and have that tension released right at the end? Because, crucially, 1x05 generated more tension. The show's writing is so substantial that it doesn't worry about losing its audience after the moment they've been waiting for happens. It's one of the reasons you could have the entire plot of Killing Eve spoiled, and then still enjoy every episode when you watch it yourself: it's the How that we love as much as the What. Killing Eve takes the time and space to revel in its style, characters, and setting -- but that's another essay. In 1x05, their meeting is high-octane, and crucially, it's brief. We get a snapshot of how their infatuation and fixation translates into chemistry. And they both become real to one another. Eve's last reservations begin to fade as she realises that she can survive an encounter with Villanelle, and her sense of self -- most importantly, the subconscious idea that she's somehow special -- is vindicated (Eve's slight narcissism, and how the show makes it compelling and intoxicating, is yet another thing I could go on about). For Villanelle, Eve is allowed to be more than just great hair and a worthy threat. She's someone challenging and entertaining. What's so incredible about that first meeting is that it's proof that this dynamic isn't running on mystery and fumes. It's sustainable. They continue to appeal to one another once they're in the same room together. They appeal even more. Their sexual tension skyrockets, and the whole dance becomes extremely personal. They can't write one another off as playthings, although they largely continue to attempt that, at least for a short while. With this in mind, let's move on to that finale. Not only is Eve trashing Villanelle's apartment hilarious, and a perfect articulation of the humour/danger cantilever that makes Killing Eve awesome, but it provides a critical catharsis for the audience before the actual confrontation. By this point, the price for Eve's obsession is starting to rack up -- her job is circling the drain, Niko's dodging her calls, her self-image is blurring. Eve has a whole lot of feelings, but she's allowed to express them on her own, symbolically taking them out on Villanelle by ruining her things, which become a vehicle for venting her frustrations without actually affecting their relationship. When Villanelle does arrive, Eve's ready. This scene would've worked if it was some sexy wall-leaning, banter, and Eve surprise-stabbing Villanelle in the middle of a conversation. I think that's probably how a lot of screenwriters today would've done it, scrawling it off by rote and relying on Villaneve's chemistry and Comer and Oh's excellent acting to nail the bit. Instead, we get this civil conversation, and then they lie down together, first relaxing, and then gravitating towards one another. I don't believe that Eve knew until the millisecond she decided to do it that she would actually try and stab Villanelle. I actually gave this mini-essay a title, and it's "female conflict". That's because I think that this entire sequence wouldn't have happened in a show created by men, or featuring male characters. In violent shows, we get violent conflict. Killing Eve is unquestionably a violent show, but it's distinct from its contemporaries in that the characters aren't there to prop up the violence; the violence is there to reveal and develop the characters. But after a whole season of elaborate murder and tyre-squealing pursuit, we get this stillness. Yet, it doesn't feel for even a beat like bathos. It's absolutely a climax, and it's both suspenseful and arresting. It really illustrates that the show is about fascination: they're hungry to know everything, like Eve says. There's no performative combat. We can't guess what's going to happen because neither can they. Their obsession isn't a "this town ain’t big enough for the both of us" situation. It's a "this town is only the both of us". Their worlds are reduced to each other and they don't want to squander it with fighting, because fundamentally, Eve and Villanelle are so much more similar than they are different. Again, I say this is so fitting for female characters because they see this co-existence as an option. It's so simple, but the idea of your protagonist and antagonist sighing, "Fuck, can't we just have a lie down after all this?" and making it satisfying is incredibly radical. Because it's so personal, and intimate, and human. At every interval, the writing asks, What would we actually do at this moment? Not, What precedent has popular culture set for this moment? Too often, I think we give characters responses that we've seen before in texts, because we watched/read it, accepted it, and just filed it into our own work, knowing it's what the audience expects. But this scene with Eve and Villanelle is so heart-wrenchingly in-character. It's two people charging at each other full speed, not to hit each other but to be close to one another. And like so many other tiny beats over the course of the season, Killing Eve luxuriates in this proximity. We get to breathe. It's gentle. It's a gentle pause between two people who could utterly eradicate one another, but choose not to. It's ladden as well with such a specific but familiar kind of exhaustion, and it's an act of defiance, too. Killing Eve rejects the hegemonic (and predominantly masculine) cultural assertion that conflict (or even sometimes, in the less typical texts, debate and negotiation) is the way to resolve difference, and indeed, that difference must be resolved. That one must overpower the other. That your enemy is an alien and cannot be connected with, related to. The fact is, a lot of even this first season isn't spent chasing, it's spent running. Eve and Villanelle take an interest in each other early on, and it quickly escalates from intellectual to sexual to emotional (insofar as either of them are capable of that). By 1x05, they've caught up to each other. The rest of the time, though, they're fleeing from how much they want each other, how alike they might be. And in Villanelle's Paris apartment, they concede: I love you more than I hate you. I need you more than I should. And it's with that concession that we as an audience can experience their relaxation, too. It's what we've -- consciously or not -- been waiting for. That acknowledgement. But Margot, you say, you've been talking about how this isn't about violence -- have your forgotten that Eve STABS Villanelle, literally three seconds after this? I have not, The Only Follower Who Read This Far. So why engineer all this, and then have Eve knife Villanelle straight in the gut? Because even though they have this liminal second together, their story isn't resolved. Killing Eve goes absolutely wild with power dynamics, and I could discuss that for hours, too -- Eve is older, but Villanelle is more experienced; Eve is more stable, but Villanelle is more adaptable, etc. But generally speaking -- partially because Eve is, at the beginning, something of an audience surrogate -- the scales are in Villanelle's favour. She's dangerous, clever, has no fear of legal consequences, and has more freedom and greater resources. Killing Eve is allergic to any pedestrian predictability, so it shakes up this arrangement. In stabbing Villanelle, Eve proves to both of them what she's capable of. Prior to this, they had an impression of their similarities, but this throws into sharp relief exactly how deep those run. Eve immediately regrets the stabbing, because it wasn't about getting rid of Villanelle. She doesn't want to hurt her so much as show her that Eve has power too, has recklessness too, can keep up. This interaction isn't the product of an inability to relate, but a desperation to connect. This joins them together, affirms their relationship. Eve isn't trying to dominate her, to win, not really. She's telling Villanelle what she's capable of, and equating them. We get this confirmed in how Villanelle perceives in the stab wound as a symbol of affection (2x02, 2x05), and how Eve says she continues to think about it constantly (2x05). I believe that while Villanelle always respected Eve, if Eve hadn't stabbed her, Villanelle would've remained confident that she, quietly, had the upper hand. That if ever need be, she could be more cunning and cruel and decisive than Eve. But Eve's put them in the same ring, and also removed one major wall between them -- Villanelle's murderous side is a key part of her character, and after this, she knows that Eve isn't intruiged by her despite this, but because of it, and because it’s at least partially common ground. Eve isn't Anna (another comparison I could go off on a tangent about, but I'll spare you). In sum, I think that the season one finale was beautifully rendered, and reflected Killing Eve's appreciation of itself. It let the characters interact genuinely, it refreshed their dynamic, and allowed them development separately (Eve's new understanding of her own capacity for harm; Villanelle's new experience with vulnerability, and not being able to predict others) and together (intertwining them irrevocably, further aligning them). It's one of those rare scenes where it's completely surprising at the time of viewing, but in hindsight, seems inevitable, and you can't imagine it any different. I can't make any predictions for the season two final episode other than I expect something equally unexpected, something just as loyal to the characters and their relationship, and their capacity to embrace and antagonise each other. This essay is probably borderline incoherent. It really got away from me. I set a timer for half an hour and told myself that whatever I got written in that time, I'd post. Thanks so much for your kind comments on my rant yesterday, and I hope this is at least vaguely what you were looking for, @ the people who said they'd read another. You're my favs. If you've got something else Killing Eve-related you'd like me to yell about, let me know! Or if you want to come chat, I promise I'm friendly! I’m using the tag “#villainever writes” for this rambly stuff atm, so if I ever write another of these I’ll have a digital drawer to put it in hahah

Episodic Patterns for Episodes 8, 9, & 10

Good morning, Everyone! How was your Thanksgiving. Mine was great! Lots of family, craziness, WAY too much pie. Good times! ;D 

Okay, so I’m first going to talk about the video released on the official YouTube channel that shows clips of Beth’s, Carl’s, and Deanna’s deaths after the 10x08 trailer. Because that’s what got me thinking about this. I said originally that showing Carl’s death along with Beth’s made perfect sense to me, but Deanna’s mystified me a bit.

Well, after hashing things out with my fellow theorists, I have much more to say. Actually, @wdway​ came up with these initial observations all by herself, so kudos to her for that. What she observed is 100% accurate and insightful, and led to me realize these other episodic patterns. So let’s go through these quickly.

There are some subtle parallels between Beth’s, Deanna’s, and Carl’s deaths. Mostly, it has to do with the way they’re set up in the MSF. In each case, the death is “announced” if you will in the MSF, and we’re kind of led to believe that they’ll die in that episode. Except that they don’t. They’re given another episode to kind of wrap things up.

So with Beth, this is obvious. At least to us TDers. We’re led to believe she died in the MSF, and we don’t think she did. But even setting the death fake out aside for a moment, even 5x09 is kind of a continuation of her death. We really shouldn’t have seen her at all after 5x08, but we did. 

Seeing her, even as part of Tyreese’s death hallucination, was a surprise. And we have other clues (like the group running to their cars) of other things that may have happened in the interim that we aren’t privy to. So the idea is that things might not have gone down in exactly the way we were led to believe based on the MSF.

Deanna’s is less dramatic. We knew she’d die one way or the other because she was bitten. She was given a gun to end her own life rather than be eaten. And we had clues that it wouldn’t go down that way (she opened the door, screamed at the walkers, and fired at them) but we didn’t’ know because we didn’t actually SEE her death. (Perhaps another Beth parallel.) 

Then, in 6x10, we do learn that things didn’t go according to plan. Because Deanna, as a reanimated walker, is stumbling around outside of Alexandria. So, she couldn’t have shot herself in the head. But she also wasn’t eaten by walkers. 

Something happened that helped her avoid being a meal, but also led to her reanimated self getting not only out of the room but outside the walls. What was it? We don’t know. And it’s probably not even very important because Deanna wasn’t a super main-stream character. 

But the point is, things didn’t go down the way the MSF finale led us to believe they would. And we have parallels to Beth’s death both in the mystery surrounding what happened with Deanna, and the fact that Spencer looked for her as a walker, which we also believe Daryl did with Beth.

Carl’s death is similar. We found out about his bite in the MSF and many people might have pegged that as his death episode. Yet, they gave him another episode with a much bigger send off to tie up all the loose ends. So things didn’t go down quite as people thought they would, based on the setup in the MSF.

There are other subtle parallels as well. I have to point out the gunshot-to-the-head theme that runs through these. The theme is present in all three, but what actually happens is different each time. Beth is shot in the head, but we believe it didn’t kill her. Deanna is supposed to shoot herself in the head, but doesn’t, and reanimates as a walker as a result. Carl actually does shoot himself in the head, and it kills him, and we see his burial/funeral.

There are other rabbit holes we could go down as well when it comes to the symbolic ties between these deaths. I’ll just mention a few things without actually going down them.

Carl is the one who sees walker-Deanna and leads her to Spencer so Spencer can put her down. He tells Michonne such things should be done by family or someone who loves the deceased person. That he would do it for her. You could see that as a foreshadow of Carl’s death. The way it’s presented, it almost seems like a foreshadow of Michonne’s death (“I’d do it for you,”) but it wasn’t. Carl said it and it was about him. A foreshadow that when he was bitten (like Deanna) Michonne would be there to make sure he got put down and didn’t reanimate as a walker.

But the thing is, this conversation takes place right after Carl says the thing to Baby Judith about using the North Star to find your way HOME. Saying that and then talking to Michonne about his death (not literally, of course) also entangles Carl’s death with Beth’s return.

See what I mean about the rabbit holes?

I also think it’s interesting that Michonne was involved in a big way in both Carl’s and Deanna’s deaths. Makes you wonder what her role in the missing 17 days after Coda was, doesn’t it? And what her role in Beth’s return will be.

But let’s switch gears just a bit, here. Thinking about all of this helped make a pattern clear in my mind about the structure of episode 8, 9, and 10 in each season. And I think you’ll all like this because it’s another, concrete way to point at episode 10 as possibly being when Beth returns.  

We all tend to think and say—me especially—that each season is divided into 16 episodes with two major arcs: the front half and back half. And while that’s true, it’s not quite that neat and tidy is it? The two arcs don’t consist of 1-8 and 9-16. Rather, the first arc tends to be 1-7. 8-9 is a shit-hits-the-fan mini-arc, 

and then the new arc for the back half starts in episode 10. Hence all those damn sunrises we see, yeah? ;D

I think my biggest takeaway here is that they never FINISH in episode 8 what they started in episode 8. They usually short it up in episode 9. We already talked about this with character deaths, but it’s true in a more general sense as well. Ep 10 starts the new arc, and, more often that not, it includes them finding a new group or community.

So I had to think through all the seasons. Or at least, all the ones since S4. Arguments can be made for 1-3, but I’ll stick to the ones after Gimple took over.

S4: So right off the bat, S4 was a little different. I think that’s mostly because they split into so many little groups and they had to show them all. But of course the big event in ep 8 was the prison going down, 

but ep 9 and 10 were continuations of that. Hence all the running. Again, I think this took 2 episodes because 9 was just about Rick/Michonne/Carl and then 10 covered Bethyl, Maggie/Sasha/Bob, and Glenn/Abraham/and co. They didn’t actually find a new community, but all of them started moving toward Terminus in one way or another.

S5: Obviously the shitstorm in ep 8 was Beth/Grady. And while it’s still a little unclear how ep 9 continues this, the biggest clue is that Beth was actually in episode 9, albeit as a hallucination. And it’s hard to pin down because it was so metaphorical and abstract, but the more you think about it, the more it makes sense. Ep 9 was about taking Noah home. That was to honor Beth’s wishes, and Noah came to the group courtesy of Beth/Grady anyway. So that episode really was an outgrowth or extension of the Grady arc. 

And it ends with a burial. Of course it was Ty’s, rather than Beth’s, but now, after all this time, I can see that it was meant to symbolize Beth’s as well. Not because she actually died or got a burial, but rather because, for all intents and purposes—both to the characters and to the audience—she was dead, and that was the end of that arc.

The new arc starts, of course, with Aaron showing up to bring them to a new community: Alexandria.

S6: This is a big one for me. I always said 6x09 would have made a WAY better MSF than 6x08. The big event was the church falling on the fence and letting walkers into Alexandria. (Yeah, I know it technically happened at the end of ep 7, but that was just for the cliffhanger effect. Ep 8 was them dealing with the horde.) 

And ep 8 left off right smack in the middle of the action. Daryl/Sasha/Abe were still facing Saviors on the road, Eugene was still calling for help on the radio, Rick and co held hands and moved into the horde, but things were far from solved. Maggie was still trapped on the scaffold. Glenn and Enid were still outside the walls. Then ep 9 comes along and all the great stuff happens. Daryl plays with a rocket, everyone returns to the Alexandria, Glenn and Maggie reunite after 8 episodes apart (end of death fakeout, by the way), Daryl stars the lake on fire, Carl shot, Jessie & sons eaten, and epic battle against walkers for Alexandria.

So my point is, they didn’t wrap things up until episode 9. New arc begins in ep 10 when they meet Jesus and go to Hilltop (new community).

S7: Much less drama in the middle of S7, but ep 8 ends on a confrontation with Negan and Rick deciding it’s time to fight back. It continues in ep 9 as they try to figure out exactly HOW to do that and where they’ll get the resources. 

New arc begins in ep 10 when they meet a new community (Scavengers) and the arc for the rest of the season focuses on building things up toward the war.

S8: We already talked about Carl’s death, which is definitely part of this pattern. In terms of plot, the big event was the bombing of Alexandria. 

But when it ended, it REALLY didn’t end. Carl didn’t die, everyone was still hiding in the sewer, and plenty of people were still running around in the woods in the dark, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. It didn’t wrap up until ep 9, including Carl’s death and burial. I think the “new community” aspect in this season was Enid and Aaron going to ask Oceanside for help. So, not a new community, but they weren’t a part of the war yet, and there were TONS of Beth symbols around this arc, which is important.

S9: So I really wasn’t sure at first if they’d stuck to this pattern in S9, especially given that we know Andy left later than originally planned. I couldn’t even remember off the top of my head which episodes were which, and had to go look at them. Yeah, they totally kept to pattern. The big event was graveyard/Whisperers/Jesus’ death, 

which came from going to rescue Eugene. But you can tell they didn’t wrap it up until ep 9 because we didn’t see Jesus’ burial/funeral until ep 9. In terms of episode 10 and finding a new group, guess what episode 10 was? Omega, where Alpha shows up at the gates. So yeah, they totally pulled it off.

So what’s the point of all of this? Well, they’re following pattern this season. They started something in episode 8 (Daryl and co going to find the horde and look for Lydia) but it definitely didn’t finish. It ended in the middle of the action, much as it always does. So I’m fully expecting that they’ll solve that particular problem in ep 9, and if there are any character deaths, they will no doubt happen then. (No idea if any of the reports about Connie or someone falling off a cliff will prove true, but IF they do, it will be in episode 9 anyway, not 9).

As for them meeting a new community, which should happen in episode 10, we don’t REALLY know what it will be…except that they’ve been filming at Grady so we do. Whether it’s actually Grady or some other hospital, chances are it will be introduced in episode 10.

And the fact of the 10:10 clock on Beth’s wall, which episode will probably coincide with them finding this new community? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I think it’s safe to say that Gimple planned for this a LONG time ago.

 So yeah. Just wanted to point that out and hopefully it carries everyone through the hiatus and gets you excited for 10b. Thoughts?

  Genre : Action, comedy, crime, science-fiction

Episodes: 13 + 3

Studio:

One thing that we can pretty much count on is that as long as humans have working brains, they will try to find ways to mess with them. The latest and most potent way is the designer drug Anthem, which goes way beyond just altering your perceptions, it alters your actual DNA. In fact, if you’re not careful, you could end up as something which is no longer quite human…or just dead. That’s why it’s outlawed! But how do you deal with criminals that are literally superhuman? You send in your “best”! The detectives of the Seven 0 unit risk their lives every day to keep the citizens safe and Anthem off the streets. Don’t call them heroes, they are just doing their jobs. And starting now, Kirill is one of them!

First Anthem is a great name for a drug. It’s poetic, symbolic, easy to say and remember, positive in connotation. I am putting way too much thought into the marketing applications of illegal drugs. Second, that synopsis I just wrote is very accurate and super boring. Don’t go by it. Double Decker is a fun, often very silly show. I kept thinking of Brooklyn 99 if that can give you an idea. But then also of Breaking Bad a little… It’s not as funny as Brooklyn 99 or as well written as Breaking Bad but it makes up for it in weirdness and colour! Double Decker is just a queer little show in the best way. Pun intended!

why did this image seem to fit?

I have to say, the first thing that hit me as soon as I started this series was: whoa the colours! I haven’t been taken by such a sumptuous and prominent colour palette since No Game No Life. I figure this will probably divide viewers somewhat. The colours are rich and bright but they could also be called loud and potentially headache inducing. For me, that pop art palette is a selling point though and I must say my screencaps do not do it justice.

With such an in your face element, it’s sort of difficult to get passed the colours to the rest of the production. If you do though, the second thing you are likely to notice is the CG. The CG is… well, it’s ok. Some episodes are pretty CG heavy and it’s not incorporated as smoothly as it could be. But when used more sparingly it actually creates some very interesting dynamic effects that work well with the high action scenes. It’s actually heavier in the first few episodes and I was worried that it would end up being distracting but the 3D team seems to have found the proper balance as the series wore on and later episodes, which use it more sparingly, actually have some very good CG integration.

I never get tired of the gorgeous skyline

Wow, I really didn’t think I would talk this much about production. Fact is, Double Decker has a very distinctive look to it. Not only for what I’ve mentioned above but in actual design as well. Thankfully, I think the screencaps do a better job of showing those. Like anything that’s unusual, that can be a plus or a minus. I liked it, so it worked for me, if you don’t you may actually find it enough of a turn off to drop the show. This said, the sound is in fact quite good and the voice acting has a lot of chemistry even if individual performances don’t stand out as much.

Alright, so it’s a cool looking show. What else… I’ve come to realize that I am not the best person to review these types of series. What I mean is that I have a real soft spot for goofy action comedies with a criminal element. For instance, I rated much higher than average last year’s Hakata Tonkotsu Ramens. I’m also a big Archer fangirl. It’s a very specific niche that happens to speak to me, so I’m by no means objective in this review.

My review doesn’t make it clear but Travis sort of rules

I enjoyed this show a lot more than the average viewer, so my review is going to show that. But let me tell you why. The underlying organized crime story is in fact pretty solidly thought out. The organizations are described in enough detail to give you a real sense of everything that’s going on and the tension and danger are present despite the generally humorous tone of the series. If you like crime procedurals, there is enough groundwork in the storyline to keep you interested.

 This said I started the series firmly believing this was a mecha show, and for the longest time, I had no idea why. There is a pretty drastic tonal and genre switch that happens in the last few episodes that I did not see coming. It’s not exactly seamless, there is a reason I called this show messy in my title. There are some plot holes and a few contrivances. The story could have used a bit more background to really evolve naturally. But it still works.

 An effort has been put in to tie all the disparate genre elements together and give decent explanations for all the events of the series. Some are a little contrived but the whole thing holds together rather well and when you consider just how nutty things get, that’s pretty impressive, to say the least.

self-awareness is important

Although this isn’t an important element, I feel I should drop a line for all the nontraditional gender and sexual orientation representation in this series. A lot of characters and relationships do not follow social norms but both gender and sexuality are presented as incidental character traits rather than defining ones which I really appreciated. Double Decker is a very accepting show and I found it refreshing. I particularly enjoyed the fact that Kirill, the main character gets mistaken for a woman very regularly and although he is occasionally annoyed and corrects the misconception, in general, he never gets mad about it or considers it an insult or even a joke. It’s more of a catalyst for later events than a running gag. As for the clearly more traditionally masculine female character, it’s never even brought up and her femininity is never questioned despite her imposing physical strength.

 That’s a long paragraph for something I thought was barely worth mentioning. I watched Double Decker in June when questions of sexuality and identity were all around me and I just thought the series presented it particularly well while keeping its sense of humour about it. Kudos.

it’s a long story

The three extra episodes are side stories and slice of life events that happen in the course of the main storyline that for some reason weren’t included in the official season. I actually enjoyed them more and wish there had been more of those asides in the show as they fleshed out the characters beautiful and were just generally fun to watch. This is probably the first time I enjoyed the extras this much.

Overall, Double Decker is a well-made show with more than a few good moments. It’s not perfect and overreaches now and then but it succeeds more often than it fails. In my opinion, it’s worth a look. As the season stays fairly consistent throughout (the two background episodes on Doug and Max are particularly touching though), you should be able to get a good feel for the show from the first few episodes and decide if you want to see the rest. I would watch a second season in a heartbeat.

Side note : the frequent exposed brickwork and apartment interiors in this show were really beautiful. The hipster in me wanted to move there so bad!

so cool!

Favorite character: the narrator

What this anime taught me: modifying a bacterial shell with a virus’ DNA rewriting potential could yield a very powerful drug

Whenever the brain and the heart fight, it’s always the liver that suffers

Suggested drink: Double Decker Daiquiri

Every time Kirill talks to the narrator – take a sip

Every time there are comic book panels – take a sip

Every time anything is censored – gasp!

Every time anyone says Athem – take a deep breath

Every time someone gets called an idiot – get some water

Every time anyone mentions Derick – pour some out

Every time we see a cat – take a sip

Every time we see the King’s Kane – raise your glass

Every time someone gets drunk – join them

Every time anyone calls Kirill feminine – stretch

Every time Doug taps his temple – pay attention

Every time we see a chocolate bar – get a snack

Every time Doug talks about/does laundry – take a sip

Like I said, Double Decker is a very striking show. As usual, I have some more screencaps on imgur or Pinterest. I’m adding just a few here to get your interest!

Double Decker is a Little Messy and a Lot of Fun Genre : Action, comedy, crime, science-fiction Episodes: 13 + 3 Studio: One thing that we can pretty much count on is that as long as humans have working brains, they will try to find ways to mess with them.

SH 316: Stay With Me

This episode was one hell of an emotional rollercoaster and I think that it is one of the best episodes of 3B; packed with emotion, fantastically shot scenes and progressing storylines. It was very well written and directed, so much of the dialogue and visuals enhanced the scenes and were really emotionally provocative. Malec, especially Alec, absolutely destroyed me; I think this is was one of Matt’s best performances of the show, the amount of emotion he continuously put out and the vulnerability of Alec was astounding.

I am already crying because we know that the dance scene happens in Magnus’ mind, and while I was slightly disappointed that it wasn’t happening in reality the scene its self is so beautiful. I love the little moment of them eating breakfast together too, and their discussion of dancing in Havana; Aisha, who wrote the episode, confirmed on Twitter that Magnus and Alec did actually go dancing in Havana which is awesome.

The actual dance scene was perfection. The choreography, Matt and Harry’s performances (not just the dance, but the acting, them looking at each other), the song, the lighting and the way it was shot. It was amazing. We also learned via Twitter that the dance was based on the dance a gay couple performed at their wedding, it was taught to Matt and Harry via Skype and then they had a choreographer on hand in Toronto to help. The whole process is amazing. Plus, Matt has never really danced before, he was very nervous and was scared we wouldn’t like it; he was fantastic. I don’t think we could have wished for a better dance scene. (Hopefully we will be getting another one, which happens in reality, when they get married).

The last moments of the scene are heartbreaking, Magnus becoming limp, Alec’s ‘stay with me’ and their twirling getting faster. The slipping of their hands, Magnus in the dark and Alec in the light; it was soul crushingly beautiful. The symbolism of the dark and light was incredible; the duality of Heaven and Hell, Angel and Demon, but also Magnus’ slipping away into darkness and Alec being the light trying to bring him back. The entire scene was just too incredible to accurately describe in words.

My heart breaks even more when the scene changes back to reality and we see Alec desperately talking to and giving Magnus CPR, he is trying everything he can to keep Magnus alive. He then watches as Catarina uses magic to save Magnus, he is talking to Magnus the entire time. I am crying so much at this point because Alec’s constant stream of reassurances and begging to Magnus is ripping my heart out, you can hear his fear in his voice.

The infirmary scene is so heartbreaking, Matt’s acting in this scene is impeccable; the absolute fear, guilt, desperation and despair he is able to convey is amazing. Alec blames himself because he didn’t look deeper to see the truth of how Magnus was feeling, he feels selfish because he was happy that they might grow old together. In their relationship, Magnus’ immortality has been a hurdle for them and mostly for Alec to come to terms with ageing while Magnus’ doesn’t. To be faced with the reality that they may grow old together, it is understandable that Alec was happy about that future, for them to be each other’s future and last love.

He is pinching the skin on his hands and I love how much attention to detail and consistency Matt keeps with Alec, whenever Alec feels guilt for anything he tends to injure his hands. When Jace left he was using punching bags, after he was possessed he used his bow until his hands bled; he has this tendency of self harm and I like that they are keeping it consistent. However I do wish that they would properly address Alec’s mental health because this consistent self harming behaviour just shows that, especially in times of stress, he is still struggling.

He hates that he didn’t see how much Magnus was suffering; he blames himself for not being able to see through the mask and be a full support for Magnus during this time. He thinks that if he had known then this might not have happened. The line ‘Magnus I love you, more than anyone in the world’ absolutely breaks me, Alec never thought he would have romantic love but now he loves this man with his entire being and cannot begin to imagine a life without him. I also love that Alec holds Magnus’ hand in his, needing that physical reassurance that Magnus is still there and to have the comfort of his touch, while trying to give Magnus comfort too.

Alec is furious at Lorenzo, believing that he did the transfusion with the hope of causing Magnus harm; I absolutely do not blame Alec for thinking this. Lorenzo has proven time and again that he hates Magnus and will do anything to hurt him whenever the opportunity presents itself. Unfortunately, only the warlock who gave the magic can take it back. Alec’s anger is completely understandable, Magnus’ life is in danger because of the same man who took credit for his actions, depraved him of help from others and took his apartment; Alec feels nothing but contempt towards this person who persistently tries to hurt Magnus.

My heart hurts for Clary, to see someone she thought of as invincible look so vulnerable is unnerving and to realise that she almost lost him and she didn’t know must be upsetting. I am not fond of the wording of the line ‘first Luke goes to prison and now this’ because it came of very self centred, making Magnus’ situation about herself; I know that it was not intended this way, it was just intended to show how much Clary feels like the world is falling apart, but I can’t help how it sounded to me.

I understand why she lashed out at Simon, she was full of negative emotion which was fuelled by the rune; however I wished she had apologised because it was completely uncalled for to lash out at someone trying to offer you comfort. Even more so because Simon is upset and suffering too, Luke is his father figure and Magnus is his friend too.

I really did not like that they asked Catarina to summon Lilith; I know that she is there and that they trust her but really?! I hate that they disturbed her, asked her to expend a lot of energy summoning a dangerous greater demon, trying to take her away from Magnus’ bedside when she was trying to care for him after he just almost died!

I hate seeing Lorenzo’s stuff in Magnus apartment, and Lorenzo is drinking a martini (which is much more a Magnus drink, I don’t think we have ever seen Lorenzo drink one before) and to me this comes off very much that Lorenzo wants to be Magnus, wants to have what he has. I love that Alec is having none of Lorenzo’s nonsense and turns off his music, and the disgruntled look on his face as Lorenzo helps himself to Magnus’ drink cart.

We finally learn that Lorenzo’s vendetta against Magnus is purely fuelled by jealousy; I did suspect this because Magnus is not the type of person to have caused someone enough grievances to hold a grudge. He is clearly jealous of Magnus’ power that is a result of his parentage and the fact that other warlocks genuinely care for him, he speaks as though Magnus has never experiences hardship and it becomes clear that he has built up Magnus in his head as a villain who has had an easy life with everything handed to him, which could not be further from the truth.

Lorenzo shows absolutely no remorse or sympathy towards Alec and even sounds glad that Magnus is in such as position, and possibly even looks forward to his possible death; it seems that to him, if Magnus dies the other warlocks will shift their love to him, but of course that is ridiculous. His blasé behaviour understandable angers Alec, to hear Lorenzo implicate Magnus’ death enrages him.

Lorenzo’s magical attack snaps him out of his anger and all he feels in that moment is desperation, the need to do whatever it takes to save Magnus; so he changes his approach. He allows himself to become emotional and try to appeal to Lorenzo’s humanity, to get Lorenzo to forget that it’s Magnus and just see someone trying to save the life of someone they love. The line ‘Magnus, he is my world’ makes me cry, Magnus had become the centre of Alec’s world and to lose him would destroy him.

Matt’s acting and body language really sells this scene; you can see Alec’s entire posture change from aggressive and forceful to vulnerable and submissive, it really shows Alec warring emotions. You can see a moment of humanity from Lorenzo upon seeing Alec’s breakdown, you can see that he can identify with the fear of losing someone and that he may feel sympathy for Alec in that moment.

I enjoyed the scene between the Seelie Queen and Jonathan, it had this tension running through it and this undercurrent that I can’t put my finger on, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the screen. The Seelie Queen once again shows her cunning and willingness to quickly change direction when it suits her and when she will get something out of it, this makes her more dangerous because she doesn’t always stick to one idea, and as soon as she spots a new opportunity she will change her mind.

Kimberly was great and I am excited to see more of her, I think that to take on the role of the adult Seelie Queen is made more of a challenge because it has been played by two other actress. You have to be able to carry over some of their posture, mannerisms and speech to convey that even though their appearances changes they are all the same character.

I love that Maryse is visiting Luke; I really hope that we continue to see their relationship progress and I cannot wait to see Alec, Izzy, Jace, Clary and Simon to find out about their kiss. She is concerned about him turning while he is in prison, she knows how much stress he is bound to be under and she doesn’t want him to endanger himself further by shifting. Luke reassures her, he knew what he was getting into and has good control over his emotions, and he believes he will be able to cope.

I really like that Maryse has bought the book shop, it enables her to stay part of the Shadow World in a small way because Elliot was bound to have many Shadow World artefacts and customers. It gives her purpose and it is a job she can do that doesn’t require any mundane skills or education like many other jobs. I am happy that she is finding her way.

Luke doesn’t want her to visit because he doesn’t want to hold her back from creating a new life, he wants her to move forward and be happy; he believes that she cannot do that while she is still visiting and holding onto him. He is pushing away everyone he cares about, whether this is because he wants them to move on or because he believes that he doesn’t deserve their love I’m not sure. Maryse refuses to be pushed away, she is going to be there to support him; she feels guilty for shunning him after he turned and she is not going to turn her back on him a second time.

I really like the Sizzy scene, they have always had a great bond and friendship; offering support without judgement through some of their darkest times. For Izzy it was her addiction and for Simon it was the situation between Heidi and his family. I think that this friendship and their bonding through these moments are going to be the foundation for a beautiful relationship to bloom.

I understand why they both feel like they want to abstain from romantic relationships; for Simon both his relationships have ended because there wasn’t enough romantic love or connection, while they still care about each other the love they felt fizzled out. For Izzy, the first person she felt a genuine connection with was also a toxic relationship for both of them because of their addictions, and in the end it only caused her pain. The pinky promise was just adorable.

Cain is terrified to face Lilith, she was able to manipulate him once and the consequences were disastrous; as a result he has spent his entire, centuries, of life hiding away. He is so full of guilt, fear and self doubt; I am so happy that we are seeing more of Cain and Pasha who plays him, he is such a great actor, the emotion he portrays is so genuine and raw.

Simon identifies with Cain because he understands the guilt of hurting the ones you love in the worst ways, he also sees what his future could have been if he had not have been able to remove the mark. He feels sympathy and a kinship with Cain, he wants him to know that he is not alone and that Simon will help him in any way he can.

I really like Simon’s line about facing your demons, he knows from experience that you can’t hide forever and if you don’t face your fears they will control you. He wants to free Cain from this paralysing fear, he wants him to have the strength to face the woman who took everything from him.

I love the little moment of Magnus waking up, Alec saying ‘There you are’ and gently turning Magnus’ head to face him wanting to look him in the eyes. Magnus’ then saying ‘There you are’ and touching Alec’s face, reassuring them both; I love Alec’s soft smile and closing his eyes to bask in Magnus’ touch. You can see how happy and relieved Alec is that Magnus is finally awake because even though Catarina said he would wake up it was hard to believe until it actually happened.

Alec is so attentive, adjusting Magnus’ pillows and helping him to sit up to make sure he is comfortable and doesn’t hurt himself. You can see the fear on his face when Magnus motions to do a spell; he knows what the consequences could be and he couldn’t cope with watching Magnus collapse again; especially when he knows that next time he might lose him for good. Magnus is in denial about how serious his condition is, he is so desperate to have magic that he wants to ignore what is happening.

I love the way the next scene is shot; using Magnus’ reflection to show that Magnus is only able to see his flaws and is blinded by how he sees himself. He is also trying to hide from Alec by not facing him directly, but he is unable to hide how he feels and the reflection is used to show this because Alec can see his expression in his reflection. He is able to see how Magnus’ sees himself, can see the pain and suffering that Magnus can no longer hide.

I also love that the camera angles allow the two halos of light to hover over both Alec and Magnus; and it also moves so that early in the conversation the edge of the glass creates a wall between Alec and Magnus, symbolising the walls Magnus is trying to put up. These decisions on how to shot the scene really do make an impact on the emotion and how it is perceived. I definitely think Amanda Row is one of my favourite directors for this specific reason; she is amazing at using camera angles and shots to capture the emotion and undercurrent of the scene and characters emotions.

Alec wants to impress the seriousness of the situation on Magnus because he had to watch as Magnus stopped breathing, he thought Magnus was dead and he is not willing to experience that again if it can be prevented. He is frustrated that Magnus is trying to brush off his concerns and doesn’t seem to be taking the threat seriously. He is devastated when Magnus says that magic may be worth dying for, he is taken aback by his conviction. He understands that magic was important but this drives home just how integral it is to how Magnus identifies.

Magnus feels so estranged from himself without his magic and doesn’t know how to live without it, to have to face giving it up a second time is ripping him apart. He knows how dangerous it is but he doesn’t want to have to face it because he is desperate to keep hold of the magic and himself; he finds it hard to believe that Alec could still love him because he feels like a completely different person without his magic.

I really start sobbing when Magnus turns to confront Alec; Harry actually added the line ‘Look at me! Can you honestly say you like this?!’ it really elevates the scene emotionally and really gives you a sense of just how different Magnus feels without magic. He doesn’t understand how Alec could love him when he doesn’t see himself as lovable.

Alec’s immediate answer is ‘Yes.’; he is so in love with Magnus that it isn’t even a question for him; he loves all parts of Magnus and nothing is going to changes that. I am openly sobbing at Alec speech of all the reason why he fell in love with Magnus, he is trying to get Magnus to understand and see all the things Alec sees in him that have nothing to do with his magic and everything to do with his personality. There is no situation where he would not love Magnus or find him less desirable, he is desperately trying to convince Magnus of this; his line ‘I won’t lose you, I can’t’ breaks me, seeing Magnus almost die has really made Alec realise that he can’t live without Magnus. Magnus has become such an integral part of his life, the love of his life that he doesn’t know how he would survive without him and doesn’t want to.

While Lilith is happy to see Jonathan she is clearly disappointed and annoyed that he didn’t come for her sooner, and we learn that Asmodeus used the magic he took for Magnus to imprison her and take over as the ruler of Edom. This is very interesting because you wonder if the Edom storyline is going to involve Lilith too, maybe she takes Magnus as leverage against Asmodeus or offers to help Magnus get his magic back as to weaken Asmodeus.

Lilith is angry that Clary is the reason Jonathan didn’t come for her sooner, Jonathan is her priority and she doesn’t understand why she isn’t his; and she hates Clary for capturing Jonathan’s attention and affection. She doesn’t trust him after his outburst and can tell that he is not being honest with her but she is blinded when he says that he loves her, she has wanted a child and the love of that child for so long that it eclipses everything else. We also see where Jonathan gets his incestuous tendencies from.

Did anyone else find it hilarious that when she was summoned she was just pulled backwards into the portal? For some reason it just really made me laugh how it happened, I’m not sure if I expected them to go through the ground (as they do when going to Edom) or if they would be pulled upwards but I did not expect that. I just find it hilarious that a demon could be going about their business and is then just pulled into a portal without warning.

Magnus has agreed for Lorenzo to take the magic back but you can tell from his expression that he is unhappy and is only doing it because he loves Alec. He knows how much Alec loves him, and he loves Alec too, he doesn’t want to cause Alec any more pain and deep down staying alive to live and love with Alec is more important than magic.

Lorenzo’s humanity promptly disappears as he informs them that he is keeping Magnus’ apartment. For me, at the moment there is still no redemption for Lorenzo; with everything he has done before this episode coupled with the fact that his only grievance with Magnus is jealousy of him and the refusal to give up the apartment. His moment of humanity and agreeing to take the magic back is negated by his jealousy and greed.

What I don’t understand is that the High Warlock is voted in right? And if the New York warlocks love and respect Magnus so much why have the not complained about Lorenzo yet, either to his face or to the Warlock Council (that’s a thing right, I haven’t read the books but I’m pretty sure I read that this is their sort of governing body. Please correct me if I’m wrong). Even if they don’t know everything Lorenzo has done they know that he has barred them from helping Magnus for anything with no good reason, surely this should have set off alarm bells for them. I would have expected at least Catarina to have done something because she knows most if not all of what Lorenzo has done. I know that story wise Lorenzo needs to be there but it just doesn’t make sense that they keep mentioning how beloved Magnus is but no one seems to be doing anything about Lorenzo’s treatment of him.

Magnus says he has everything he needs right there, gesturing to Alec; he knows that even without everything else he still has Alec and he is enough to keep him alive. Deep down he knows that the only things he truly needs if Alec but he cannot help how he feels without his magic; it is such a major part of who he is and he feels lost. Everything he is feeling is completely understandable.

I am glad that we got a Malec hug but it was a little disappointing because it felt a little stilted, but it is kinda understandable with how adrift Magnus is feeling right now. You can see in his expression how devastated and despondent he feels right now; I know that we are in for a lot of Magnus and Malec angst in the next few episodes. I am a little excited though because Harry always performs emotion and Magnus’ vulnerability brilliantly and usually makes me cry.

You can already see Lilith working out how to make this situation play to her benefit, she is angry that Jonathan tried to kill her and I’m pretty sure that she has disowned him; which while I understand why Jonathan hates her he has just lost his most powerful ally. She tells them that there is only one way to break the bond, to use Michael’s sword Glorious to stab Jonathan because it is imbued with Heavenly Fire which purifies demonic energy and nullifies the bond.

Izzy picks up on Heavenly Fire as it is the name of the Clave program and I am very interested to see where this storyline is going and it is looking more and more likely that my theory about it is close to being right. In case you haven’t read my 3x11 or 3x14 reviews, my loose theory is that they are somehow trying to purify the demon blood in Downworlders.

Jonathan appears with the intention of getting to Lilith, I don’t really like the fight scene and I think it might be one of the weakest ones the show has done. It felt very disjointed and there was too much slow motion for me, plus Jonathan producing that shock wave with his sword was strange because although you presume it was because of his demonic strength it felt out of place as we hadn’t seen him do anything like that before. Plus, Jace and Izzy spent too much time rolling around on the floor for my taste when it has been established many times that the simple use of an Iratze is an instant cure. It seems so odd that they weren’t immediately healing themselves and instead just lying there.

I feel real sympathy for Cain because yet again Lilith is able to manipulate him, promising to return his brother to him if he helps and protects her. She uses his grief and guilt against him, knowing that he will cave. He genuine seems apologetic to Simon because he knows how much trust Simon was putting in him and he hates letting him down, but for him getting his brother back is more important.

I was very confused at Luke getting a visitor outside of visiting hours because we are expecting his situation to get worse, as soon as the man said his name was Scott I knew he was Praetor Lupus because I remember Jordan talking about a Praetor Scott at the beginning of 3x13.

It feels very unsettling to learn that they have been watching him for a long time without his knowledge and the fact that they have enough influence to dismiss not only Luke’s murder charge but also everything to do with Ollie and the demonic murders. We know very little about the Praetor Lupus but it is very clear that they hold a lot of power in ways that we don’t expect. I think that this will be a very interesting new turn for Luke and I am excited to see where it goes.

Jonathan is in chains and I cannot help but laugh because my mum said ‘quack’ and I now cannot look at him without picturing him as a duck. But it also gives me Hannibal Lector vibes, which I presume was there actual intention.

Clary feels more confident in her ability to fight the rune’s influence with Jace by her side because he keeps her grounded. Each time she has felt close to the edge knowing he is there has prevented her from falling over it, she is hoping that together they can prevent her from succumbing to the rune. It is a very sweet scene between them and definitely feels like a parallel to Jace’s Owl situation in 3A.

I am crying right now just thinking about writing about this last scene. I totally was not expecting it, especially given the sober feel of all the Malec scenes in this episode. Oh my god.

Alec goes to Maryse and explains Magnus’ health issues, I am crying when he says ‘I can’t live without him’; Alec who never thought he would find someone to love now has the love of his life. Maryse is so happy for him; she can see how happy Magnus makes Alec and how much of a difference having Magnus in his life has made for Alec. She is overjoyed that her son has genuine love in his life, that he found someone who loves him just as much.

I am literally screaming when he asks for the family ring, the family ring has so much sentimentality to them; especially Alec whose world revolves around his family. The fact that he is requesting the ring shows how certain he is about Magnus and the significance of giving a Downworlder a Nephilim family ring is completely mind blowing. I think it will mean a lot to Magnus because he probably knows this tradition with family rings and he knows the significance of them; to be given such an important Shadowhunter object and to be included in this tradition will mean a lot, especially after a life full of being made to feel inferior to Shadowhunters.

I know that some people are saying that it is too soon for Malec to be getting married, they have only been together for about three months, and I understand where they are coming from. But the decision of when you are ready to propose is a completely individual thing, plus they have almost lost each other so many times that it makes them realise that time is precious and they shouldn’t waste a moment just because other may find it fast. Plus, Shadowhunters only have one true love and for Alec its Magnus, there will never be another for him so why should he wait when he feels ready now. There is nothing wrong with Alec wanting to propose to the man that he loves, he wants to spend the rest of his life with him and to show Magnus the extent of his commitment and love.

Now, that doesn’t mean Magnus will say yes right now and that is his decision. He is going through a lot right now and he may not feel like he can make such a big decision, especially when he doesn’t even feel like himself. Even if Magnus does say no to Alec’s proposal it doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to marry him, it just means he is not ready to say yes yet.

I did wonder if it will play out like Alec asking to move in; Alec will ask Magnus to marry him and Magnus will say no, not yet. Then they will experience a life endangering situation (the whole Edom thing) Alec will ask again and Magnus will say yes; or Magnus will ask Alec to marry him.

I have no idea how this is going to pan out, something may happen to cause Alec to wait a little before asking, or maybe he is prevented from asking. I have no idea but I know that it is probably going to be painful, in the end it will lead to so much happiness and I am excited for every excruciating moment of it.

This was an amazing episode full of emotion and beautiful camera angles, every scene felt like it has a purpose and were driving the plots. Matt absolutely destroyed me with his acting and Malec took me on one huge rollercoaster of emotions.

I’m so excited for 317 even though I’m scared about how the proposal is going to pan out, Simon is going under cover at the Gard and Clary confronts her brother. I am not prepared for the pain that is coming.

Is Darren’s watch gay?

Today the CC fandom has a theory that Darren wore his PINK and blue watch because it’s a “gay” watch or a symbol of his queerness.... because PINK obviously means gay, right? 

The watch has the added advantage of being both pink and blue ...therefore it’s a solid representation of both Chris and Darren -at least according to the CC belief that blue represents Chris and PINK represents Darren, like DUH! For anyone new, the color symbolism is something the CCers have long believed....I mean, that is something normal adults do right? Assign colors to their OTP or even better, to themselves and then actually wear those colors once a year to send a secret “high-five” to those fans who are paying enough attention to “get it”..I mean it’s totes normal, right?  

Anonymous asked:

hello love! i hope you’re doing well! i know this doesn’t mean anything but i saw the thumbnail for the interview you linked of d saying he doesn’t know who he came out straight to and he’s wearing a watch with a blue band and pink face and i noticed he’s wearing either the same or a similar watch when rehearsing in lsb! but then his watch changes and i thought it was weird,,, anyway sorry for the ramble!!

ajw720 answered:

Hello nonnie!!!!  Excellent observation.  That is a watch he has had for years, He used to always wear it, now much less, likely not approved by his team, plus often the watch he wears now is a paid endorsement.

But the pink and blue watch, that is genuine D and what he loves.  Add pink is D and Blue is C and those colors have been associated with their relationship since the beginning.

I always smile when he wears that watch. I think it is very special to him.

LSB rehearsal 2019. He clearly looks happy and like his watch is “special to him” and we all know that photos (and screen grabs) are PROOF of Darren’s emotions. 

LSB BTS package 2019. He’s MUCH happier here. 

George Stroumboulopoulos Tonight 2012 

Apparently, Darren hasn’t worn the watch much -not something I have ever paid attention to- but it was spotted on his arm during rehearsals for LSB. It’s clearly not the same watch as the band is teal in the 2012 screen grab and blue in the more recent one.  

(I posted the comments out of order so ya know go read the original if you want a more accurate reflection of their thought process).

Sometimes the CC Conspiracy Theorists catch the fact that the items they are matching- don’t actually match....

souly

If I remember correctly, this is not the original watch though. I don’t remember what he said about the original one, but he stopped wearing it for a while. At the first Elsie (or was it the second?), a fan gave him the new watch. There was a post about it back then, but I don’t know if it’s still around.

Anyway, I do believe though that he loves this watch for what it stands for - the original and the new one - so it always makes me smile when I see it!

(Plus, these BTS videos made it obvious that he is wearing the silver one for promotion and prefers the other one in private. And now look at the paps shots and so-called “private outings with friends” again and look at the watch he is wearing there.)

flowersintheattic254

I’m happy that at least he can wear something that’s special to him personally. Even for a short time.

There is always a “no longer available” post to explain CC Confirmed. As for whether it is special to him? Darren has never indicated that the watch is special to him. That is called MAKING UP A STORY. But from this day forward the fandom will believe that this little queer watch is meaningful to Darren. 

The watch is a sporty, more causal-and presumably less expensive- than the watch he has been wearing.  Wearing a less expensive, more casual watch while exercising isn’t logical CC reasoning, noooooo, logical CC reason is of course that his team WON’T LET HIM wear it. He has to be sneaky when he wants to express his sexuality through accessories. Also, they claim that he is forced to wear a “paid endorsement” watch most of the time.. 

ajw720

@flowersintheattic254 it has been almost 5 months since the JH promo began and they essentially stripped him of the rings we know mean the world to him (absolutely intentional, M and RR knew precisely what they were doing when they got that campaign, it was about much more than a free trip to Bali).  So I agree, it is good to see him supplement an accessory here and there that is actually meaningful to him.  I cannot wait until he is free to just be himself.

Sooooo, I’m not entirely sure why she brought up “JH promo” here, but I read it to mean that the watch that he normally wears is promotion for John Hardy. They have obsessively raged about the John Hardy jewelry since his trip to Bali in September. Yes, I am sure that was a promotional trip. Who cares? He got to spend a week in Bali and all he and Mia had to do was wear some jewelry. Darren seems to enjoy the designs as he has worn them quit a bit since then- UNTAGGED. I honestly never pay attention to these things but the CCers always comment. The thing is, something is only “promotion” on social media if it is tagged. Wearing an untagged ring or bracelet isn’t in anyway promoting the item. Only the most diehard, rage-filled fans recognize the untagged John Hardy pieces. The idea of promotion isn’t simply to get free stuff and wear it on social media, it’s to drive traffic to the John Hardy website and them to get people to actually purchase the pieces. Wearing them untagged doesn’t serve this goal. 

But back to the watch...is Darren wearing an (untagged) John Hardy watch as per his endorsement deal?

Uh, NO.  There are no John Hardy Watches. If he is wearing a promotional watch for a different brand-he really sucks at it.

Some thoughts on other CC comments:

...they essentially stripped him of the rings we know mean the world to him (absolutely intentional, M and RR knew precisely what they were doing when they got that campaign, it was about much more than a free trip to Bali).  So I agree, it is good to see him supplement an accessory here and there that is actually meaningful to him.  I cannot wait until he is free to just be himself.

So let’s analyze the facts: 

Chris gave him ring(s)? The CCers have long claimed that Chris gave Darren a ring, a ring he often- but not always-wears on his right hand. Over the years, there are I believe, 5 different rings that Darren has worn and all were attributed to Chris until the John Hardy rings were added in September. Why were they attributed to Chris? Literally NO reason whatsoever other than their fantasy.  These same people have raged over their claim that Mia has sported 5 different engagement rings in the last year. The rings all look to me like the same diamond ring with other rings added when the mood struck her. CC Mia is horrible for caring so little about her Engagement Ring that she would wear 5 different rings, but Chris is romantic AF for giving Darren 5 rings. 

The rings are meaningful to Darren? Darren has NEVER said the rings hold any meaning for him or who they are from that I am aware of. He doesn’t wear them consistently. Seems to me that they are fashion accessories and nothing more. He’s worn the John Hardy’s rings quite a bit since September.  Clearly, the CC fandom couldn’t claim the John Hardy rings are from Chris, so they fell back on their favorite excuse: his team “forced” him to wear the rings. I’m never sure exactly how one “forces” another adult to do something. I’ve been married for 24 years, if someone can tell me how to “force” him to do my bidding, I would love it.    

One final CC comment on this topic- The Impossible Dream comment

bjpb08

Concur @ajw720. The thing is D has always found a way to fight back, sometimes subtly, sometimes overtly. We have seen it on the frontline, we do not see behind the camera or in the soecifics of his life. Sometimes I am sure he has sat it out, waiting. D has said too many times he is private, social media is not his way of communicating. He seems to pick whatever means he is afforded. Glimpses that we see, I love…it reminds me he is fighting and still remains the human being I so love and support. He is Dar/ren Eve/rett Cri/ss first and formost a son, brother, uncle, cousin, but first and formost a partner to one Chr/is Col/fer. He will do what he needs to do for those he loves. And that includes fighting a foe that we will never know the depth of.

To dream the impossible dream

To fight the unbeatable foe

To bear with unbearable sorrow

To run where the brave dare not go

To right the unrightable wrong

To love pure and chaste from afar

To try when your arms are too weary

To reach the unreachable star

This is my quest, to follow that star

No matter how hopeless, no matter how far

To fight for the right

Without question or pause

To be willing to march

Into hell for a heavenly cause

And I know if I’ll only be true

To this glorious quest

That my heart will lay peaceful and calm

When I’m laid to my rest

And the world will be better for this

That one man scorned and covered with scars

Still strove with his last ounce of courage

To fight the unbeatable foe

To reach the unreachable star

Songwriters: Joe Darion / Mitchell Leigh

The Impossible Dream lyrics © The Bicycle Music Company, Helena Music Company

I believe D would not agree. This song always comes back to haunt me in relationship to D. He lives it, he breathes it, he feels it on a daily bases. Soon he will find he will reach the reachable star.

D has always found a way to fight back, sometimes subtly, sometimes overtly? Yes, because the CC fandom literally fabricated all of these things he did to “fight back”. The things are “subtle” because the fandom made them up...they are overt because they made them up.  As long as CCers continue to make up claims about what he is doing and how it represents a ‘fight”, Darren will continue to “fight” back in ways that are asinine. He will continue to hide deep In the closet while sending the CC fandom subtle messages of his “truth”.  He will continue to walk the red carpet with Mia and take her to awards shows where he says nice things about her. He will continue to be a straight bro, to wear John Hardy jewelry and play piano at Tramp Stamp Granny’s BECAUSE THAT IS WHO HE IS. The CC fandom will continue to claim that everything he does that we see and everything he says that we hear- is all fake or forced upon him by this team while he lives a secret queer life with his husband Chris Colfer. A life we cannot see or hear BECAUSE IT ISN’T REAL, it’s pure CC fantasy. And his story will continue to be something only they are paying enough attention to see it because they are the ones writing it.

D has said too many times he is private, social media is not his way of communicating. He seems to pick whatever means he is afforded. This is literally an argument for why he isn’t secretly communicating with the CC fandom via social media. 

Isn’t it convenient that “he seems to pick whatever means we fabricate he is afforded”? He will always “conveniently” do whatever fits the CC fantasy...that is how it works when you are writing the fanfiction as you go.

Is Darren’s life The Impossible Dream? The CC fantasy about love conquering all and CrissColfer being “a love for the ages” is how tweens and young teens believe love works. It is fodder for fanfiction and the best rom-coms, Twilight and Disney Princess-esque romance novels, but it isn’t real life. Real life is messy and hard. Love rarely survives even the most mundane stressors of life, it would never survive

9 years of hiding from the world while the spotlight is focused directly on it

9 years of being apart and pretending to love someone else 

9 years of overt lying about Darren’s sexuality and his life

9 years of traveling with someone else and sharing his life with Mia with the world

9 years of mundane real-life stressors while hiding

Add on Chris’s mom’s death, his dad’s remarriage, his sister’s illness,  Chuck’s divorce, and all of the things we don’t know about

Love doesn’t save people from life’s difficult moments. Love certainly doesn’t excuse deception and lies. Darren isn’t gay because he wears a PINK and blue watch.