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crusherthedoctor · 5 years

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Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite? - Part 11: THE MONSTERS OF THE WEEK

There are some villains I like. And there are some villains I don’t like. But why do I feel about them the way I do? That’s where this comes in.

This is a series of mine in which I go into slightly more detail about my thoughts on the villains in the Sonic the Hedgehog franchise, and why I think they either work well, or fall flat (or somewhere in-between). I’ll be giving my stance on their designs, their personalities, and what they had to show for themselves in the game(s) they featured in. Keep in mind that these are just my own personal thoughts. Whether you agree or disagree, feel free to share your own thoughts and opinions! I don’t bite. :>

Anyhow, for today’s installment, we’ll be cancelling our flight to Tokyo as we look up at the impressive size of a particular recurring brand of foe in Sonic's universe: the Monsters of the Week. (Excluding Chaos, who we've already covered.)

So for reasons that should be obvious, this edition of Sweet or Shite is going to be a little different. Seeing how we’re covering more than one villain - and since you can only say so much about characters who aren’t really characters - this will instead be a series of mini-reviews, one after another, for each monster. I figured this was the best course of action since the alternative would be to go back and forth constantly between the monsters, and that would just be messy.

Also, none of these guys have much in the way of personality aside from “DESTROY FUCKING EVERYTHING GRRRRRRR”, so I’m not even going to bother analysing their “personalities”. Everything else will be the same as usual, of course.

And yes, I’m treating Iblis and Solaris as individual monsters. Because they barely have anything in common despite being the same beast.

Right then, we’ve got a lot of these king-size bastards to cover. Let’s go.

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MONSTER #1: THE BIOLIZARD

The Gist: In the endgame for Sonic Adventure 2, the late Professor Gerald Robotnik was revealed to have programmed his Space Colony A.R.K. to crash down to the planet and destroy it should the Eclipse Cannon be equipped with all seven Chaos Emeralds. The heroes and villains teamed up to combat this threat (thus completely negating the game's Hero VS Dark selling point), and together, they made their way to the cannon's core.

What they didn't expect however was for their target to be guarded. In order to stop the A.R.K. from falling, they were forced to deal with the Biolizard, Gerald's original attempt at creating the Ultimate Lifeform before he decided to take a page from the Sonic OC booklet with his second attempt, Shadow. Thanks to seeing the error of his ways courtesy of one Amy Rose, Shadow himself confronted his older sibling, and Knuckles used the Master Emerald to cancel out the power of the Chaos Emeralds, thus preventing the A.R.K's collision...

Just kidding. As if to laugh at the very idea of Knuckles actually having a useful role in this game beyond treasure hunting fodder, the Biolizard immediately used Chaos Control to assume direct control of the A.R.K. in order to continue its collision course. Sonic and Shadow had no choice but to go Super, and with their powers combined, the Biolizard was beaten for good, the A.R.K. was stopped once and for all, and Shadow died but not really.

Sonic and Shadow were hailed as heroes. Even though everyone else contributed too. But apparently, only the heroes with super forms are allowed to be on the President's desk.

The Design: The Biolizard is a failed prototype, and it shows.

He's gonna sweep them bitches off their feet with a face like that.

Surprisingly, I actually dig his design. It's a bit messy, sure, but that works to his benefit in this case, since as a failed creation who demands a life support system just to function, it's justified within the context. It's a cool mesh of organic and technology, and it perfectly demonstrates the horrors that can come with trying to play God and creating life.

Unfortunately, his final form is underwhelming. He "fuses" with the A.R.K, but don't get your hopes up. It's the same design as before, only... well...

Yeah. It's just... right up there. All the way through.

The Execution: The Biolizard technically doesn't come out of nowhere, since there's a Dark Story cutscene that foreshadows his existence. But he still feels very WTF in spite of that. This adventure involving G.U.N, Dr. Eggman, and a feud between two hedgehogs, and this thing is the final challenge? It doesn't help that despite the relation, he feels very disconnected to Shadow's story when compared to Gerald, Maria, etc. (And yet ironically, he's the most interesting part IMO.)

So in regards to proper build up for a final boss, he's a bit shit. But since I like his design, and since his theme music is kickass, I'll give him a little step up. Just a little one.

Crusher Gives the Biolizard a: Thumbs Sideways!

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MONSTER #2: IBLIS

The Gist: In the future, everything was a shitehole. This was due to a terrible beast known as Fire Chaos Iblis, who spread his penchant for destruction everywhere he went, leaving behind nothing but ruins in the process. A young hedgehog named Silver, and his friend named Blaze, have fought him for a very long time at the expense of Blaze's actual backstory, but nothing they could do kept Iblis down for long. Desperate to save their world, they followed the advice of comic relief character Mephiles the Dark, which was to find the so-called Iblis Trigger of the past via time travel, and destroy him. That Iblis Trigger was none other than Sonic the Hedgehog himself.

Except not. Turns out the guy with no mouth and snake eyes named after Mephistopheles wasn't all that trustworthy, and was using Silver for his own purposes. Undaunted, Silver continued to do a bunch of things that meant little-to-nothing, before finally defeating Iblis for definite because... he was stronger this time, I guess?

But Zoinks, Scoob! He couldn't seal Iblis away! Luckily and unluckily for him, Blaze was able to do so, and with a few emotional parting words, she vanished from Silver's time to get ready for a better game stop the threat of Iblis. That's not the end of Iblis' story however, because as it turns out, he's only part of something even more destructive... Also, Silver and Blaze didn't achieve anything anyway since Mephiles unleashed Iblis in the present time after killing Sonic.

Lol.

The Design: Get ready for a trilogy of fatigue.

You have Phase 1, which is just a clump of lava with some arms:

Good at mix tapes though.

Phase 2 is a replica of his Iblis Worm minions, but bigger. That's it.

Even he looks tired.

And for Phase 3, he finally realises he should probably try to look more worthy of a main baddie, but it still falls flat due to his ridiculous anchor feet:

"~Lava bone's connected to the fire bone~"

On the whole? Wank.

The Execution: He's from Sonic '06. What do you think?

Outside of being a lame version of Chaos, what else is there to say?

Crusher Gives Iblis a: Thumbs Down!

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MONSTER #3: SOLARIS

The Gist: Remember Iblis? The guy I just talked about? Well he wasn't brought into existence as Iblis, but rather Solaris, the flame of hope. A time-dwelling entity of sorts, the kingdom of Soleanna had worshipped him for as long as they've lived, for reasons that can best be described as "fuck knows". In particular, Soleanna's ruler, the Duke, was devoted to harnessing the power of Solaris for the sake of being able to control time itself, and thus bring his wife back from the dead.

Sure enough, he joined her once more... by ironically getting himself killed in an accident during one of his experiments on Solaris, which also happened to split the entity into two different beings: the raw power named Iblis, and the subconscious named Mephiles the Dark. Before he died however, the Duke made the brave and heroic sacrifice of sealing Iblis - the fiery demon of death - within his own daughter, with the added deal of her never being able to cry unless that demon gets free, because who cares, she was adopted anyway.

She's guaranteed to be a strong queen if she can withstand a lifetime's worth of severe heartburn.

Anyway, the Duke got a Game Over, Silver the Hedgehog left a Chaos Emerald in his daughter's presence at the expense of the overall Sonic the Hedgehog continuity, and that was that. Ten years later, Sonic and Eggman had a tussle in Soleanna that I'm not even going to bother talking about because it's that unimportant, and eventually the aforementioned Mephiles gives Sonic a Game Over, causing Princess Elise to cry and thus release Iblis. Mephiles, the shadowy hedgehog, then uses the Chaos Emeralds to rejoin with Iblis, the fire lizard, to become Solaris, the bird made of light... Okay then.

Solaris threatens to consume all of time and space, but before he can do that, his decision to throw the Chaos Emeralds away like disused wrappers comes back to bite him in the ass, because through his friends' wise decision to collect them all, Sonic is brought back to life, and in his super form at that. Together, with Super Shadow and Super Silver, they kick Solaris' shit in, until it reverts to its original form of a tiny flame, and after some hesitance born from the sorrow of losing her biggest friendship, Elise ultimately makes the right decision and blows out the flame, thus creating a new future where Solaris - and the events of Sonic the Hedgehog 2006 in general - never happened.

Does that mean the Duke is alive? What does Soleanna worship now that Solaris never existed? Who knows, who cares, I'm already getting bored talking about these guys.

The Design: Unlike with Iblis, I actually like Solaris' forms, since there's an attempt to give them some elegance rather than just making them generically ugly. Even if Phase 1 looks as though he's got a steering wheel on his back...

Literally at the helm.

And Phase 2 looks like it could be desecrated by the Dark Lord Ganondorf at any moment...

"Who wants a hug?"

But overall? I like them.

The Execution: It's still '06, so his chances aren't looking good. I WOULD give Solaris some leeway since like with the Biolizard, I like his designs and his music (though I'm that weird guy who prefers Phase 1's music)...

Buuuuuut he's still the endgame of an absolutely shitty and plothole-infested narrative. And he's technically Mephiles, so...

Crusher Gives Solaris a: Thumbs Down!

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MONSTER #4: IFRIT

The Gist: Iblis got its own ripoff.

That ripoff's name was Ifrit.

It was in Sonic Rivals 2.

Eggman Nega sought to unleash it.

And it liked to feed on Chao, allegedly.

......

So anyway, how's your sex life?

The Design: Despite being the younger sibling, it's design is arguably better than that of Iblis. It's still nothing amazing mind you, but it's got a Firebird thing going on, so that alone makes it more pleasing to look at than any of Iblis' forms. And if it were in a fully 3D game rather than on the PSP, it would probably look a lot better with its visuals too.

Ifrit wants a belly rub!

The Execution: He shows up at the end to get killed.

Next.

Crusher Gives Ifrit a: Thumbs Down!

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MONSTER #5: DARK GAIA

The Gist: One day, Dr. Eggman decided to have yet another go at controlling a giant monster. This resulted in the events of Sonic Unleashed, which started off with a bang when after a spectacle of action and destruction in the far reaches of space, Sonic was lured into a devilish trap by the wicked scientist. Using the negative energies of the Chaos Emeralds, Eggman fired a laser that literally broke the planet apart, in an attempt to unleash (HA!) the being sleeping within the planet's core: Dark Gaia.

Those negative energies also turned Sonic into a bizarre werewolf-hedgehog hybrid, which wasn't intentional on Eggman's part, but he dealt with him easily by letting him fall all the way down to the planet... along with the sapped Chaos Emeralds. Oops.

With the help of a strange little guy with amnesia named Chip, Sonic and his new alter-ego - the Werehog - went on a grand day out to find the Gaia Temples around the world, with the idea being to restore the Emeralds' energy one by one. All the while, Dark Gaia kept... existing, and Eggman tried to stop them. Eventually, it's revealed that Chip, bog standard comic relief that he is, was in fact Light Gaia all along, the fated nemesis of Dark Gaia. After all, you can't have dark without light, just as you can't have light without dark.

"I wish I knew how to quit you... and this boss fight."

Same song and dance from then on. Dark Gaia pops up, Sonic and Chip beat it, Gaia gets angry and transforms, then they beat it again with Super Sonic. Chip says goodbye as he prepares to sleep for nearly an eternity to keep Dark Gaia at bay, which could be seen as a metaphor for how I'm close to falling asleep for eternity due to how genuinely exhausting it is to talk about these non-characters.

The Design: I really do not like Dark Gaia's design. Outside of the purple tentacles, which are admittedly pretty cool, he's just a stick with eyes and teeth. That's all he is.

Nice nail polish, prick.

And when he becomes Perfect Ultra Mega Dark Gaia 2: The Return of Jafar, what does he transform into? ...A stick with MORE eyes and teeth.

"I'm never drinking Chaos Cola again, Chip."

So yeah. His design is boring. And he could do with eating more.

The Execution: Dark Gaia is at least set up from the beginning rather than showing up haphazardly towards the end, but that's about all the praise I can give it. Despite everything to do with Chip, the Gaia Temples, and the Gaia Manuscripts, there's still not nearly enough to make Dark Gaia truly stand out. It's the personification of the world's darkness, and it's involved in a cycle with Light Gaia... what else? What else is there for me to care about?

Also, its boss fight was the worst, and coming after the Egg Dragoon, it was like a slap in the face. Say what you will about the guy below, at least you can deal with him quickly.

Crusher Gives Dark Gaia a: Thumbs Down!

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MONSTER #6: TIME EATER

The Gist: Young Sonic was on his merry way, then a time monster showed up to cause trouble... in time. Young Sonic was thus forced to team up with Older Sonic to combat this threat.

So they did.

......

At least Eggman was in control this time. Or Eggmen, rather.

"Did I ever tell you the time I wrote about how Sonic the Hedgehog had it pretty rough lately...?"

The Design: Not too bad, actually. Sure, it looks like a stereotypical ghost at first...

"WHAZAAAAAAAAPPPP"

...But once it's revealed to be mechanized by the Eggmen, we see its true, clockwork-esque form:

Might want to get those boils checked, buddy.

As a robotic Frankenstein abomination, I really like its time aesthetic, and its twitching and whirring, as if it's trying in vain to fight back against the Eggmen's control. Like the Biolizard, the context allows it to be a bit hideous, and it still looks cool despite that.

The Execution: Am I going to give the Time Eater a complete free pass just because it's the one that Eggman successfully controlled? No. I will freely admit that there was not enough to establish it in a way that felt satisfying, and some would say to a worse extent than Solaris or Dark Gaia.

But here's the thing: I'm more willing to let these things slide if the game isn't forcing me to try and care about it. Or to put it in another way, the plot of Sonic Generations may very much be an excuse plot in its purest form, and that will always be a shame, but that's actually why I don't mind this as much. Generations isn't pretending that the Time Eater is anything more than what it is. It's not hyping it up without being able to back its "lore" up. It's nothing more than the justification for why we're having this adventure. And since Eggman is the real baddie pulling the strings anyway, I look at Time Eater as a plot device used by Eggman, than as an actual entity of its own.

Note that I'm not saying this is ideal. I'd have loved it if Generations had more of a story, and I'd have loved it if Time Eater had more lore behind it to back it up. But I'm explaining why I'm not so harsh on it as I am with Dark Gaia or Iblis, who their respective plots tried so hard to make me care about as big bad threats, only for it to fail miserably due to how mind-numbingly boring they are. It's a lesser of two evils situation, and I'm just giving my stance on it.

Plus, again, I actually like Time Eater's design. And Eggman did succeed with it...

Crusher Gives Time Eater a: Thumbs Sideways!

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So that’s it then. That’s your lot for today. Some of them are okay, most of them are crap, none of them are as good as Chaos. I apologise if this edition of Sweet or Shite felt a bit rushed or shoddy, but in my defense, it's hard to say much for these guys, and I try not to be too repetitive.

......

Here’s a Shadow for you.

#Sonic Villains: Sweet or Shite?#Opinion #Sonic the Hedgehog #The Biolizard #Iblis #Solaris #Ifrit #Dark Gaia #Time Eater

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eggoreviews · 5 years

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20 Dream Games for the Playstation Classic!

The PS1 Classic came out last year. Everyone got excited for a minute, but then we found out it was missing almost everything! Here’s my personal list of the 20 games I reckon should’ve been included. I’ll stick to one per franchise to keep it fair, but I might have to break that rule once. Hope you enjoy/agree!

Note: This is just my opinion. There might be some ones you don’t agree with, and I might have cut some ones from the original lineup you liked. Sorry in advance lol

Before I kick off the list, thought I’d briefly list off the games I cut from the Classic’s actual lineup:

Battle Arena Toshinden

Cool Boarders 2

Destruction Derby

Intelligent Qube

Jumping Flash

Mr. Driller

Oddworld: Abe’s Oddysee

Resident Evil (you’ll see why)

Ridge Racer Type 4

Super Puzzle Fighter II Turbo

Syphon Filter

Tom Clancy’s Rainbow Six

Twisted Metal

Wild Arms

Aight, let’s go.

1. Final Fantasy VII

The quintessential PS1 JRPG, of course FF7 had to stick around from the original lineup. Like it or loathe it, FF7 defined its console and is still highly regarded as one of the best JRPGs of all time. Playstation wouldn’t really be Playstation without this game. This was the game that pushed Final Fantasy into 3D, and firmly into the hearts and minds of players everywhere. There’s little else to say, other than that you kind of already know how iconic this one is.

2. Grand Theft Auto

The humble beginnings of a now mammoth franchise, the first entry in the now legendary GTA series was a top down weird thing that let you explore three separate cities in whatever cars you can find. While this doesn’t hold up especially well today admittedly, GTA was an important milestone, not just for its series but for its console generation and has certainly earned its iconic status to belong on the PS Classic. This one was a good choice.

3. Metal Gear Solid

Another obvious choice, MGS is where Metal Gear really became Metal Gear. Brilliantly cheesy voice acting, awesome stealth gameplay, suitably weird story and the birth of the now iconic codex screen, MGS is like the archetypal cold war film wrapped in a supremely fun package on the PS1. If this wasn’t here, there is no PS Classic and that’s just the tea.

4. Revelations: Persona

This was one I wasn’t expecting an appearance from on the PS Classic, but I’m glad it did. In my head, the beginnings of this extremely weird spin-off JRPG series is an essential piece of kit on a classic compilation. Everyone hoping to experience the best of what PS1 had to offer should probably try this one out and while it certainly isn’t for everyone, it’s certainly unforgettable and deserves its place among the rest of this lot. But hey, maybe I’m biased because I’m obsessed with Persona 5.

5. Rayman

The first in the franchise that spawned my favourite 2D platformer of all time, Rayman made his glorious start on the PS1. While some may argue that the second entry in this colourful, creative platformer series deserves the spot, I’m with Sony in giving the spot to the first instead. Despite the cringey, cliche villain name they went for, this game was innovative for its time and had its own unique art style that still holds up remarkably well today. This limbless boy has earned his place.

6. Tekken 3

The final game from the original 20 I’m carrying over into my list, my thoughts are that this compilation was in need of a traditional fighting game and Tekken 3 perfectly fits the bill. This acts as one of the most iconic fighters on the PS1, and is pretty much superior in every way to the previous two entries, bringing with it more characters, more moves to pull off and a better, smoother combat system in general. This is the perfect fighter for fans of retro and takes its place rather nicely on the classic console.

7. Oddworld: Abe’s Exoddus

Here’s the reason why I cut Abe’s Oddysee, to replace it with what is arguably its vastly superior sequel! Oddysee is still good, but for newcomers to this extremely odd platformer, the larger variety of power-ups and potential strategies is a much better pick for those unfamiliar with the franchise. To put it simply, Exoddus just holds up better today than its predecessor. Get ready for what is kind of nightmare fuel though, as the slightly unsettling imagery and character designs are bound to make you feel a little uneasy as you traverse dystopian, industrial environments as a weird amphibian thing.

8. Resident Evil 2

And, predictably, here’s why I cut the first RE, because there was no way I was leaving this franchise off my list. It was a tough one, but the second just won out. In my mind, RE2 just improved upon the first one in so many ways. While the first was a horrifying, strategic blast through an infested mansion that became one of the PS1′s defining games, RE2 took what the first one did well and built on it immeasurably. More developed characters, a fleshed out story, more unique environments to explore. Even though the map got exponentially bigger, that feeling of claustrophobia never went away and it was awesome the level of horror they could achieve with 90s graphics. As a legendary horror game, RE2′s the one I would go with.

9. Bishi Bashi Special

I know what you’re probably thinking, ‘this arsehole cut Ridge Racer but they’re making room for Uncle Bean?’ Well, hear me out. A lot of you may not have heard of Bishi Bashi Special. It’s a little known Japanese party game that is the maddest thing you will ever play. And in a classic compilation filled with iconic RPGs and the like, I felt that injecting a little chaotic madness into the mix was never gonna be a bad thing. There’s nothing on the PS1 that even comes close to the level of chaotic fun this gives you and shows the pure variety of the console’s back catalog. I’m very firm on this game’s place. Fight me about it.

10. Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver

A hack-and-slash game with fully rendered 3D open environments, starring a kickarse silent vampire with glowy eyes. It’s a real wonder they didn’t put this on the starting lineup. For real though, Soul Reaver was ahead of its time in a lot of ways, really testing the PS1 to the limit with its graphics and control scheme. An awesome tech demo for the time that still holds up well today, but is also a solid game in general. Very worthy of this list.

11. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night

As pretty much any PS fan will tell you, this game kind of has to be here. And everyone won’t shut up about it for good reason. While Castlevania made its start on Nintendo systems with the original trilogy, it really made its mark on the industry when Symphony of the Night dropped onto the PS1 in 1997. It took what made the other games so great and built on it all, providing a sprawling platforming epic filled with collectible power-ups, hidden places to explore and a story that, at the time, defined the franchise. Many would argue that the series still hasn’t topped this entry, and as such is an essential addition that is sorely missing from the real thing.

12. Tomb Raider II

Tomb Raider is, well, iconic. I’ve used that word a lot but it’s true. Lara Croft and the franchise she belongs to are iconic, especially to the Playstation. And like Castlevania, the lack of any Tomb Raider on the Classic is almost criminal. This title encompassed everything that makes the original Tomb Raider trilogy so great, interesting puzzles and areas that require a lot of strategic thought to traverse, a decent selection of weapons and vehicles and a sense of genuine fun and adventure that runs through the whole thing. Tomb Raider is cool, and it doesn’t need much introduction. And for me, this was the most glaring omission of them all.

13. Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back

While we’re on the subject of glaring omissions, here’s what was basically the PS1′s answer to Mario and Sonic, Crash Bandicoot. In particular, I’ve chosen Crash 2 because I feel it’s the best experience for new players. Crash 1, while it’s the original, is full of a load of fuckery that may put newcomers off altogether if they can’t master the jolty controls and the slightly unfair life system. Not a bad game, just not great for those new to the franchise. Crash 2 just sort of lends itself better to the classic, challenging but not too much 2D platforming the series is known for. Well-designed, aesthetically pleasing levels, consistently fun mechanics and even a story you can sort of follow. This was Crash at his best, and it needed to be here.

14. Spyro 3: Year of the Dragon

Yet another PS Classic omission that made people sad, Spyro acted as the lesser known, but still suitably iconic second mascot for the PS1. Unlike his orange counterpart, Spyro’s levels felt much less linear and were more of an explorative collectathon rather than a straight platformer. And of the original trilogy, it’s pretty safe to say that number 3 consolidated everything the first two nailed and made it as perfect as it could be. Year of the Dragon defined the series at the time, and it needed to be onboard as much as Crash.

15. Crash Team Racing

Look at me go, I’ve finally broken my franchise rule. But in this one instance, considering how wildly different the 2 Crash games are, I think we can let it slide. CTR was never really meant to happen, it was mostly just a side project for the guys at Naughty Dog to do while they still had the rights. And the result was an awesome, fast-paced and crazy experience to rival Mario Kart. Unlike Nintendo’s equivalent at the time, CTR had much heavier, clunkier feels to the karts you drove, which really made you feel like you were driving this hunk of metal. You had power-ups that kept everything interesting, shortcuts to learn and even a full-on Diddy Kong Racing style adventure mode. Guess we’ll just have to wait for the remaster to relive this one.

16. MediEvil

I’ll be honest, this was the one I was most disappointed to have missing from the Classic. I absolutely adore this game. I love the story, the concept of Sir Dan as a character, the combat and the lovely gothic areas you encounter from a mausoleum to ghost pirate ship. But most of all, the cheeky, totally stupid British humour running through the whole thing, particularly through the game’s archetypal villain Zarok, makes the whole game as funny as it is epic, with a suitably rousing soundtrack following you on your journey to prove you’re not the zero everyone thinks you are. Classic game, desperately needed a place on the lineup.

17. Gran Turismo 2

I’m going to preface this by saying that I don’t care much for realistic racing games, I don’t derive a lot of joy out of them and they aren’t really my cup of tea. But in my efforts to keep this lineup as diverse as possible, I thought I’d include the game that really pushed the PS1′s graphical capabilities to its limits and almost created a game that surpassed its console generation in its looks. There’s a whole wealth of content here; a whole bunch of cars to unlock and a beefy career mode to keep you busy for a fair while. And this game differs from other racing games on the system by rewarding strategic thought and encouraging players to think through every action they take on the race track, which for me makes this the most immersive racer on the system.

18. PaRappa the Rapper

Okay, I know. I really did just put this here. But come on, PaRappa ended up in PS All Stars, so he’s gotta mean something to someone, right? It doesn’t matter how you slice it, this paper dog properly revolutionised rhythm games at the time, creating a fun and responsive, if a little short, experience that was certainly unique for the time. This is another that would definitely fall under the weird category, but it’s a bit of Playstation that doesn’t get mentioned nearly enough and it’s worth a spot on pure fun factor alone.

19. Ape Escape

As one of the first games to rely entirely on the Dualshock analog sticks, Ape Escape is another that falls into the ‘must mean something to someone’ category, as Ape Escape also ended up with a character in PS All Stars. This one is a fairly simple foray, but it was met with a lot of love from fans, as you play as a tiny, chibi version of the dude from Yu Gi Oh (tell me I’m wrong) and round up a bunch of escaped apes in varying platforming levels with a cool selection of gadgets. It’s here because it’s here, let it be.

20. Silent Hill

Silent Hill is pretty much as iconic as horror games get, and yet I somehow managed to forget about it until I got the 20th and final game on my list. It was claustrophobic, gory, full of metaphors you really don’t want to dig into and, most of all, it was terrifying. The constant fog, while it was mostly implemented to account for lack of draw distance, worked in the game’s favour and became a staple in the series. For the PS1 era, this game and the series it belongs to properly nailed the scare factor and left everyone who went near it feeling at least a bit uneasy. Saying this belongs here is an understatement.

Cool, there’s my list. My probably quite badly justified list clouded by pure fan-ness. But anyway, hope you agreed with some of my picks and let me know what games you would’ve liked to see on the otherwise questionable PS Classic lineup below. Thank for reading !

#Crash Bandicoot #Spyro #silent hill #resident evil #persona #tomb raider #castlevania #tekken #final fantasy #medievil #ps #ps classic #playstation #playstation classic #metal gear solid #grand theft auto

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icequeenjules26 · 6 years

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A drop in the ocean

Summary: Dan had been ecstatic when his manager had informed him that strictly come dancing wanted him in the next season, until he found out HE would be there.

Word Count: 12,3k

Tags: Musician!Dan, Actor!Phil, Fluff, Angst, Strictly Come Dancing AU

A/n: Written for the @phandomficfests, crossing off the prompts Dancing with the stars (Writer's choice), 2012, Pen Pals, dog, second chance, birthday, communication, Starbucks sofa, commitment, picnic and #spon! (What a list, lol) As always the biggest ever thank you goes out to my angel @succubusphan for doing everything she could so this would get done on Phannies' day!!!

Read on AO3

August 2018

@DanIsAGod3918: This is happening oh my god

@PhilLikesMen: finally i waited forever for this

@dannyboiiiiiii: still can’t believe they worked alongside each other without ever meeting? wtf

@bisexualDan: @dannyboiiiiiii ikr but i’m so here for it

@phanwillbeathing: FUCKINGFINALLY they’ll be together and in front of cameras this is a dream come true

Dan groaned as he scrolled through the comments on his latest instagram post. It was honestly unbelievable. How could he not have known? He couldn’t do this - he couldn’t deal with this. It had been 6 years and Dan was still hung up about it - how was that even possible?

He didn’t want to be here, honestly, not anymore.

He had been ecstatic at first, when his manager had informed him that strictly come dancing, UK’s very own dancing with the stars show wanted him in the next season. He was a musician, so he hadn’t even bothered to ask them - musicians at least had the rhythm it took to dance, putting them into an advantage - but they had apparently seen the making of to his newest music video.

Which wasn’t bad, not particularly, at least - it just showed him attempting to do an easy dance routine his choreographer had designed just for him but failing miserably. He first and foremost was a pianist, with mediocre guitar skills, but even the singing part was pushing it from time to time. Dancing? Like actually, physically moving his long limbs in an attempt to look at least somewhat graceful? The word alone let laughter bubble up his chest.

But he had tried, for the sake of his team, and if it’s that what got him into this show in the first place then he was glad he did.

Or maybe not so much, anymore.

Not since… Him.

He had been invited under a bit of false pretences, Dan decided - they could’ve told him they were planning to get him as well, could they not? - as he stared at the coffee table in front of him, or more specifically, his laptop, displaying an article from some sort of gossip page. Headline:

The meeting the UK has been waiting for: Howell and Lester both starring in strictly come dancing.

He groaned again, shutting his laptop with his foot and letting his phone drop from his hand to sling an arm over his eyes instead, sliding down his sofa until his back laid flat on it, his butt hanging from the ledge in an awkward angle, feet propped up on his coffee table. This couldn’t be happening.

He had been good, so, so good for so long, he had momentarily forgotten what he has even good about. But, as always, life will come and fuck him over when he least expected it. He should be used to it by now.

He had nearly done it. Nearly forgotten those piercing blue eyes. Nearly forgotten this soothing voice, the blinding smile.

He had almost gotten over how his stomach would swoop on the sole mention of the name, how his heart would skip a beat before picking up its pace.

This brought it all back - and not in a good way. He couldn’t do it, it wasn’t fair. It had been years and the multiple edits of them together floating through the infinite space of the internet still made him feel like his heart would get squeezed harshly inside of his chest. He had accepted it by now; he would probably never be over him. He didn’t have the right to be, either, but meeting him now… Like this… It still hurt.

A lot.

Like a rusty knife in his chest.

He had managed to avoid meeting him even while working on the same movie, for fuck’s sake. He had even skipped the premiere and every other event and interview he knew he’d be present at. Now they were being forced together by a bloody dancing show, one he was excited about, sure, but not excited enough for this.

Never for this.

The reaction of his fandom didn’t make it any easier. He had seen the theories and shipping all over tumblr and twitter, of course, but it had been sort of inevitable, with all the stuff they had in common and the fact they were both open about their bisexuality. Now, with the movie long over, he had thought it would subside as fast as it had risen.

It didn’t, though, and Dan had no other choice than to go through with this.

He groaned again. Sometimes, he hated life.

:::

April 2004

Dan was ecstatic when he first learned of a thing called “Pen Pals”. His Nana had explained it to him and he loved the idea of having someone, somewhere, that he had never met but could share things with nonetheless, loved the idea of writing letters back and forth, of being excited to get home from school to check the mailbox, to see if something would be in there.

He was only ten, but he knew enough about writing letters to do it properly, he thought. He’d also get the first checked over by his Nana, that was for sure, to make sure he wouldn’t embarrass himself on the first try. He was so excited to get started, but when he took the time to go through the suggestions the teletext had for him he was gutted. Not one of the kids there seemed genuinely interesting, not enough. Some lived so close it wouldn’t be any fun to write letters, and others were just too old.

Then he got to the last page and a large grin erupted on his face. “Phil Lester, 12, Rawtenstall. I like Sonic and crash bandicoot and i love pokemon! buffy is the best tv show ever created. I’d love to gain a friend from far away!!!” it said, and Dan knew he’d found them. The person he’d write to.

:::

September 2018

So far Dan had done an incredible job at avoiding Phil. His shooting with his tall, but quirky and optimistic dancing teacher and partner Cathy went well and fast enough for him to evade Phil. He was there during the group foto, obviously, but Dan had made a point of wanting to stay on the opposite end and surprisingly, no one had caught up on it or commented on it in any kind of way. After a week of simple dancing lessons they were now about ready to start practicing for their group dance. He was running out of options.

That was the reason he allowed himself a chill night before the first group practice. A funny netflix show was running on the TV, he had a hot cup of tea on the coffee table and Jennah had her head resting on his thigh - he was relishing in the feeling of it.

When his phone vibrated from somewhere next to him he grumbled along with his lady. Picking it up with his left hand he brought his right one down to lazily stroke her head. “It’s okay,” he mumbled when she opened her eyes to look up at him, only paying attention to the still offensively vibrating phone when she nuzzled closer and closed her eyes again.

“Howell,” he answered it grouchily, head sinking against the back of his sofa. “I hope this is important.”

Apparently, life hated him.

“Dan? It’s Louise.”

He suppressed the urge to growl lowly in his chest, almost certain about what was to follow. “Louise,” he huffed out instead, closing his eyes and bringing his right hand up to gently massage his glabella. There was exactly one person who knew of the whole debacle Dan had had with him, and he really didn’t need to hear another lecture about it from her.

He knew it had been his fault.

He also knew there was no way of undoing it, even if there was nothing he wanted more than to set things right.

Yet, she kept pushing.

“I just got home from vacation and checked instagram.”

Oh. That’s what this was about. She hadn’t heard it before.

“Louise-” he started, but got interrupted almost immediately. “No! Do not Louise me, Dan! This is getting ridiculous! Why can’t you just talk to him? If not to make it right, then at least for closure. What do you think will happen, the fucking apocalypse?!” He could tell she was aggravated, gruntled. She had always wanted him to do something, to not just sit around and let it weigh heavily on his heart, and this show obviously only made it worse.

He couldn’t hold in the growl this time. He was gritting his teeth trying to keep himself from saying something that he’d regret later, but even that was getting harder. Jennah immediately reacted to his distrust, opening her eyes and sitting up next to him before moving closer, nuzzling his shoulder. She knew how well he reacted to cuddles, and she was willing to provide them. He could only move to stroke her back in a silent thank you. “I can’t, Louise. I fucking can’t, okay?”

He could already hear her, taking a deep breath, setting up for a monologue, but he was having none of it. “No, Louise, no. I can’t hear it anymore. You think I don’t wish for what you want me to do, every day of every fucking week? You think I like this, doing nothing, suffering in silence? Because that’s what I’ve been doing for the past six years. But as long as you haven’t miraculously invented a time machine on your vacation, there’s no way to undo this. Have you?”

His friend on the other end stayed silent, and he could feel the tears starting to pool into his eyes. “I thought so,” he closed, his voice breaking along the way. He managed to keep it together for as long as it took him to end the call, but then he broke down, sobbing violently. His body started shaking, he didn’t know what to do, how to make it better, so he did what he always did when he needed comfort: he threw his arms around Jennah and moved to press his face into her neck, hiding from the world.

:::

April 2007

It had been two years since Dan had send his first letter to Rawtenstall near Manchester.

Him and Phil had become fast friends and the amount of letters they were sending to each other had become ridiculous by now. Dan’s Dad had gotten mad at him for spending that much money on postal charges only a few months after the first letter and basically told him to stop being friends with Phil - or at least tone it down considerably - so they were now using his nana’s letter box so his dad wouldn’t catch him.

Even his nana had become agitated with it after a while, so they had a deal now. Dan did chores around the house or the garden, like doing the dishes or wiping the floor, and his nana would give him postal stamps as a payment. Other kids wanted to buy candy or save the money to spend it on games, but all he wanted was to write Phil. His nana could probably make him do anything if he’d get those postal stamps in return. To him, they were worth more than diamonds.

They had exchanged pictures of themselves and their homes, they shared their secrets with each other and knew everything there was to know about the other, and Dan reveled in it. The had even exchanged phone numbers, but they had to pay calls in minutes, so they usually didn’t call each other except for special occasions.

Today, apparently, was such a “special occasion”.

When Dan got out of school he didn’t even bother to go home. Instead, he walked directly to his nana, who lived right next to him. That was a normal occurrence by now - he spent most of his time here. His parents were barely home anyways and his nana was watching his little brother after school, so it didn’t even attract his parent’s attention,

Luckily. His dad would probably not like it. Especially not the reason behind it.

Because, obviously, Dan didn’t spend all his time at his nana’s just because he loved her so much. He did, but he was still an introvert; he loved having time for himself and not having to talk to other human beings - he did this for Phil.

Ridiculously much he did seemed to be for Phil nowadays.

He was waiting for a new letter that should probably arrive today or tomorrow. It usually took four or five days, sometimes six, from sending a letter to receiving one, and he had send one last wednesday. It was monday now.

When he opened his nana’s door with his key she was already sat in the kitchen, obviously waiting for him. After greeting her he sat down his bag on a kitchen chair before taking a seat himself, snatching an apple from the fruit bowl sat in the middle of the table. “Everything okay, nana?” he asked after taking the first bite. It wasn’t usual she was waiting for him like this, she was usually up and about around the house or reading in the living room when he got home from school.

A smirk slowly creeped onto her face as she obviously observed him closely. “A very agitated young man called around an hour ago. Said he wanted to talk to you,” she stated and he perked up immediately, eyes flying up to her face. “Phil?” he asked, almost breathlessly, and felt the heat rising through his neck all the way up to his cheeks. He cleared his throat. “I mean - Was it Phil?” He forced his voice to be calm this time, but the grin on his nana’s face had already widened and he knew she had picked up on his behaviour immediately. “It was. I told him you’d be back around now, he should be calling again in a few minutes.” She paused, raising an eyebrow mockingly. “Anything you’d like to tell me, son?”

He could feel his cheeks heating up even more and almost desperately avoided her eyes.

He was about to start saying something, anything, when a shrill ringing interrupted him. “I’ll go,” he practically squeaked out and jumped up to run to the hallway to get the phone.

“Phil?”, he answered it breathlessly and was rewarded with a laugh. “Dan! Take a guess who can now phone people as much as he wants without having to pay more?” greeted him an excited voice on the other line and a wide grin stretched his face in seconds. “Hm, I don’t know. Sarah Michelle Gellar?” Again there was laughter on the other side and Dan wished he’d have a way to look at the other boy’s face when he laughed. “It’s me!” was the answer and Dan could feel excitement bubbling up in his chest.

He looked around the hallway, realizing there was nothing to sit down on while talking on the phone. Maybe they should put a chair in there somewhere. He could see himself needing it a lot in the future.

:::::

September 2018

Dan’s day was not going great so far. He was exhausted, probably dehydrated and he hadn’t eaten in a few hours, but still did not have the time to catch a break. He hadn’t gotten any proper work done for months now - since he had written the music for the movie, actually - and his manager was getting nervous. Not that he could blame her, he’d promised her a line-up for his new album back in July - but that had been before Strictly come dancing had poked its head at him. He couldn’t have let this opportunity go, so he’d had to promise her he’d work while practicing for the show.

It wasn’t working. The whole idea had been rubbish to begin with, to be honest; he’d known the show needed his whole attention and utter commitment. Stef was just ridiculously persuasive, that was the problem here.

Still… He couldn't do it. He just couldn’t. He’d just have to talk to Stef, he decided when he let his pen drop and looked up for the first time for hours from his place on the ground in his music room, musical sheets and random pieces of lyrics scattered around him. His head was completely blank, not one idea breaking through properly.

He wasn’t used to this. Normally he sat a pen to paper and had an almost finished song mere hours later, but now all that came out of his head was crap.

Or a name, he realized when he got up, looking around him to get a general view of what he’d written. His name was smudged across random pages, written in large, black letters that instantly managed to catch his attention. His breath hitched. How had he not noticed he’d been doing that?

His heart hammered in his chest and tears were starting to pool in his eyes as he looked over the papers scattered across the floor. Without thinking he pulled out his phone, taking a picture and sending it to Louise. He would probably regret that later, but he didn’t even realize what he was doing in his horrified state.

He left his music room in a hurry, closing the door behind him in panic as if he could contain the ghost of his past relationship in there, trapping it inside. How was this still getting him? How was he still basically unable to function with the thought of it, after more than six years? Why was he still unable to let go?

Somewhere at the bottom of his heart he knew why. He knew why he couldn’t breathe at the prospect of being in the same room with him for hours - he knew what it meant that his heart was hammering in his chest every time he set foot into the studio they were practicing the group dance in.

He knew it. Had known it the whole time.

He was still in love with him. Six years later and the feelings he had been fighting against the whole time were still there, strong as ever.

He knew it, but - it didn’t change anything. Not really.

Not when he couldn’t even think his name without breaking down into tears.

Phil.

:::

April 2008

It had been four years since Dan had written his first letter to Phil. He was fourteen now, and he spent most of his time on the internet.

Actually, he spent the most time talking to Phil.

Through the internet.

He was lucky his family had still not caught up on it. He was pretty sure his nana was aware he had not just miraculously stopped talking to Phil, even though the hour long conversations in her hallway had lessened immensely; but the rest of them - especially his dad - were still in the dark about it.

And that was honestly the only thing that was important.

Today was a slow day so far. It was wednesday, which to him, was amazing, because it was a day he had only a few hours of school while his parents usually stayed out far longer than usual. Why, he had no idea; he just assumed it was the busiest day of their week.

He had gotten home around an hour ago, had made himself some lunch and settled down in front of his TV to watch some mind-numbing midday show to calm himself down after school.

Normally, he would already be talking to Phil, who usually had a slow wednesday as well, but for some reason he wasn’t picking up, neither on his skype nor on his cellphone. He wasn’t that worried yet, but he still thought it was odd. It happened from time to time that Phil wouldn’t be there that early on wednesdays, for example when his mum caught him before he could get into his room, forcing him to do stuff for her. Normally he’d at least let him know via text, so Dan was getting a little agitated by now.

When Phil still hadn’t texted him or picked up his phone three hours after their usual skyping-time he grew increasingly worried. He seriously considered calling Phil’s landline but was a bit scared to only reach Phil’s mum - the woman didn’t seem to like him much, not that he could blame her.

At the exact moment he was about to call, his laptop started making noises from its place next to him on his bed, indicating an incoming skype call. He accepted the call before even picking it up.

“Phil!” he called when the video finally loaded, revealing an obviously excited Phil, eyes sparkling and hair pushed up into a messy quiff in contrast to his usual, neatly arranged fringe. “Dan!” He grinned broadly, bouncing up and down, making the video jump along with him in the process. “You won’t believe what happened!”

Dan was unable to hide the fond smile sneaking its way onto his face. “Robert Downey Jr. joined a cult and you get to replace him in Iron Man 2?”

He almost choked on his own spit when Phil pouted in response. He could feel warmth wandering up his neck, settling in his cheeks and knew he was probably about as red as a lobster. How could someone be so goddamn cute and handsome at the same time?

“Sadly, no,” Phil answered before a new grin lit up his face as he clapped his hands excitedly. “But! I did just get a role!” he exclaimed, with a smile so wide Dan was surprised it didn’t split his face in half.

“What?” he asked, almost dumbfounded, staring at his best friend as if he’d just told him the sky was green. “Are you serious?”

“Yes! I just got home from casting, that’s why I couldn’t call earlier. I scored a role in the sixth series of Shameless!” Phil answered, excitedly bouncing up and down again, and Dan was left to do nothing but stare. The news hardly even reached his brain with the way Phil looked, excited and glowing and all focused on his screen. Focused on Dan. He secretly pressed the Print Screen key on his laptop, conserving this picture to look at it again and again and again.

That’s when Phil’s words properly registered in his brain. “Are you serious?”, he croaked, voice raw with the emotions coursing through him. When Phil nodded he started bouncing up and down as well, completely unconsciously, beaming so brightly in the process, the muscles in his cheeks started burning almost immediately.

“Yes! I get to act! And I’ll earn my own money!” he exclaimed, obviously still not completely able to believe it himself. Dan let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding, eyes wide as he stared into the blue eyes of his best friend - the best friend who made his heart flutter and his breathing hitch. That was normal, right? That’s what best friends were supposed to do to you?

Deep inside, he knew they were not, but he enjoyed living in denial for just a few days longer.

“I’m so happy for you, Phil!” he replied, happiness seeping through him from his head all the way down to his toes. “What will you do with the money?” His voice was high pitched and giddy and his best friend chuckled in response.

“Well, there’s someone I know that’s in desperate need of train tickets for his birthday…”

Dan’s eyes sparkled so bright for the rest of the day, even his mum caught up on it hours later.

:::

September 2018

As the date for the launch show drew incredibly near so did the point where he’d finally have to talk to Phil. The amount of requests for interviews with them both together were growing ridiculous and the bbc hyped it up as much as possible. He was a professional, and he got the general idea of why the bbc reacted the way they did, but that didn’t mean he liked it.

Not really. Not at all.

Still, when the launch show was rolling he managed to not exchange a single word with Phil. Whenever there were cameras he was at least 20 meters away from Phil so they couldn’t force them both in frame with the little time they had backstage.

He got on stage sometimes in the middle of the show and was interviewed. It was mostly just general questions about his life at the moment, how his new album was coming along and if there was anything planned, but he truthfully answered that right now, he was entirely committed to this show. It meant a lot to him already. He was excited to learn even more about music and to dance, and when he announced that any money he’d make during it would be donated to Young Minds the audience basically flipped. He was amazed at the reaction it caused; he hadn’t expected it.

The questions got a bit more personal afterwards. They packed it nicely, sure, asking about any Ladies or Gentlemen in his life that could be offended with his dedication to the show, but it was still basically the question of if he was in a relationship or not.

So he decided to have a bit of fun with that.

“Well, there’s always Stef, my manager. Oh, and my queen, of course, she’s really not amused I’m spending so much time away from home,” he answered with a chuckle, all teasingly and with a suggestive wink, hinting at something that wasn’t there. He predicted that it would grant him protection from the bbc’s shipping attempts at least for the first few shows; it was also their own fault.

They didn’t know “my queen” ment a five year old Shakita Inu lady named Jennah after the queen in his favorite video game. Most of his fans would obviously know or at least assume that - she was all over his Instagram after all - but even that could take a while.

He looked around when he said it, gauging the reaction it caused in the audience. He had expected everything, really, from joy to devastation from his fans, some of who were clearly sat in the audience right now; but what he did not expect… Was Phil.

He caught sight of his face only briefly, but he could not believe what he found there.

Phil’s face was scrunched up, hurt written all over it, and when their eyes met for just a single blink, the blue was dull and washed down, more grey than colourful. He could have sworn there were tears glistening in the corner of them, threatening to fall any moment.

But that had to be some kind of coincidence.

It had to.

There was no other option.

After the interview he somehow successfully weaseled himself out of without giving away too much information, he performed his latest single, written for the movie Phil had played the leading role in. He could feel Phil’s eyes on him the whole time he played, the look burning on his skin like melted caramel, sweet and hurtful at the same time. His fingers prickled with the knowledge that those eyes were finally looking at him again, playing a song that was obviously based on their relationship.

Not that any song that Dan had written had not been somehow based on that.

For a brief moment, Dan wondered if Phil had realized, if he still cared. Cared that his career was basically solely based on the things Phil had told him when they were younger. Did he even realize how big his impact on Dan’s life had been? Or did he still believe the things Dan had told him six years ago to push him away?

He didn’t know. He only knew that it hurt.

A lot.

When the last, sorrowful notes of the song thrummed through his fingers and his throat as he pressed the keys and sang the words, his mind provided him with the fact that their anniversary was only a few weeks away and he couldn’t stop a single tear from making its way down his cheek. His heart was throbbing forcefully in his chest and his breathing hitched the exact moment the last note had rung out. He just hoped no camera had caught that.

Knowing his luck, they’d have it on closeup.

::::

October 2009

Dan didn’t know why, but this time things seemed to be different when he arrived at Manchester Train station. Phil seemed agitated, almost nervous when he greeted him, fiddling with his jacket and adjusting his fringe whenever his hands weren’t otherwise occupied. Dan wasn’t sure what to make of that, but decided to let it slide without much comment. He was sure whatever it was Phil would tell him as soon as he was ready. They knew each other for longer than 5 years at this point, Phil knew he could talk to him about everything.

Instead of taking the bus back to Rawtenstall Phil lead him on a journey through Manchester. They visited sights Dan had never payed attention to and afterwards they went to get a coffee at Starbucks, sitting together closely in the booth they always occupied when they were there; so closely their whole sides were touching. Dan’s right hand laid on the table as they talked, occasionally sipping on their caramel lattes, and he itched to take Phil’s left one into his, placed just a few centimeters apart. Did Phil realize he had his palm up, basically inviting Dan to take it, or was it just coincidence?

They continued their journey when they were both done with their coffees, talking and laughing as usual, yet, something seemed different. When they walked, their hands would brush together, and Dan could have sworn Phil’s fingertips were outstretched towards the back of his hand.

He knew it was probably nothing more than wishful thinking, but a guy could dream, right?

Phil still was straight up on edge when they arrived at their destination, which Dan quickly identified as the Manchester eye. Why they were there, he had no idea, but he liked it. He had been living close to London his whole life, yet never had had come around to take a ride on the London Eye.

“Did you do it on purpose?” he asked gently when they got into the cabin, both sat on the same bench, pressed up together. “Do you remember?” The view got better and better the higher they went, but he couldn’t keep his eyes off of Phil, whose blue eyes shone brightly in the light of the setting sun.

“Of course I remember,” Phil answered softly, eyes completely trained on Dan, “You always wanted to visit the London Eye, so I figured this is the next best thing.”

Dan couldn’t keep the eye contact any longer, so he turned his head, looking out the other side. He could feel tears rising, that’s how overwhelmed he was with the whole gesture, but he blinked them away. “This is better,” he murmured, voice barely above a whisper.

Then there was a hand on his cheek, gently taking a hold of his chin, turning him around until his sight was back on Phil. All the previous tension and nervousness seemed to have left his body. His movements now were confident and certain, determination shining in his eyes as they gazed into Dan’s. “Everything's better with you,” Phil whispered and Dan breathing hitched, his whole body shuddering with anticipation.

When they finally kissed Dan realized it had been inevitable from the start. Phil’s lips felt warm, velvety, right against his own and it was like the world finally set into place. Like everything had been unsure and wavering all his life, turning and spinning around him, leaving Dan unable to ever find his footing, but now it had clicked into place and everything stood still for the first time in his life.

After the kiss ended Phil didn’t let go of Dan. Instead he sat his hand on his cheek and pressed their foreheads together, his bright, blue eyes gazing into Dan’s as if he was the only one that would ever matter. “I like you, Dan,” he whispered, voice almost inaudible. “I really, really like you.”

Dan’s heart stopped for a few seconds, his breath caught in his throat and he felt like the world around them had come to a crashing halt, like time had stopped for everyone but them. Was this really happening? Or was it just one of the dreams that would keep him on edge for hours afterwards, knowing it would never come true?

He had hoped, wished for this for so long; had prayed to a god he didn’t even believe in - yet Phil had never made the first move. They had felt like a real possibility from the first time they met over a year ago on Dan’s 15th birthday, when Phil had stumbled over his words when they had hugged and his cheeks had burned crimson red. Dan would never forget that day; the day he had realized that he wanted them to end up together against all odds.

Then his neck started burning from the way it was bend and he realized - this was real.

It was raw, it wasn’t perfect, but it was real, and Dan could feel tears rising into his eyes. “I really, really like you too, Phil,” he answered and then Phil leaned in to kiss him again, a sob of relief breaking from his throat.

And for that one, single moment Dan felt like they could defeat everything that would ever stand in their way.

:::::

October 2018

Their anniversary had always been particularly hard on Dan. Normally he’d spent the day curled up on his couch with Jennah, eating a ridiculous amount of chocolate and drinking too much alcohol, Louise on the phone or somewhere in his flat, keeping him from doing things he would regret later on - like calling his dad; he’d done that one year, hadn’t ended well. Not really.

This year, Dan wouldn’t be able to do that. This year, he’d even have to meet Phil at some point of the day for rehearsal, probably for longer than he’d be able to endure.

Because that’s what he was doing, Dan realized as he checked into his hotel room, enduring Phil’s presence. It was still torture to even be in the same room as him, let alone talk to him. What would happen when Phil finally got tired of ignoring him; when his selferestrain would finally break and he’d unload six years of pent up aggression towards him?

Dan would crack at the first word, turn around and run, public appearance be damned.

He was just hoping it wouldn’t happen during a live broadcast.

This week Dan had decided to screw the hotel’s room policy and bring Jennah with him. He needed her today, more than ever, he wouldn’t survive the day without her - especially not the night, when he’d have gotten back from rehearsal - after seeing Phil. Fortunately, he didn’t even get one single negative comment when he lead the lady dog into the hotel, suitcase in tow. The pretty, courteous dog got nothing but positive comments from the staff, especially when they realized how well-trained she was, following his commands immediately even when he accidentally dropped her leash. She was wary towards strangers, still hadn’t even completely accepted Louise as his friend, but she trusted him with a burning passion that overshadowed everything else.

They finally made it up to their room and Dan didn’t feel energized enough to do anything else but flop down on the bed. Jennah, who knew she was not allowed to climb onto the bed without an explicit invitation, whined softly at him, and he didn’t have it in him to deny her request. She was incredibly sensitive of his emotions and sensed that he needed comfort, but was unable to provide it due to the distance Dan had put between them.

He softly patted the space next to him and she jumped up immediately, laying down cuddled into his side, head gently resting on his shoulder. He drapped his arm around her, stroking her soft fur. She continued to make quiet whimper like noises, but they were less needy now, more content.

The tears started rising without his consent. He didn’t even know what caused them, he just knew that suddenly, they were there, threatening to fall; and then there was a sob escaping his throat, the dam broke and the tears started flowing freely. He couldn’t believe this was happening.

A few more hours and it had been nine years on the dot. Exactly nine years since Phil had made the first step, kissing him on the Manchester eye.

Dan wanted nothing more than to kiss him again, like he had been able to until this faithful day six years ago, to kiss him and hug him and love him - but he couldn’t, and it was ripping him apart from the inside out.

It wasn’t fair. He was aware he hadn’t always been the best person, was aware he’d made mistakes, but didn’t everyone? What was it that entitled him specifically for this sorrow, this heartbreak; a pain you wouldn’t wish upon your worst enemies?

When it was time to head over to the studio for the final rehearsal he was barely able to let go of Jennah. He knew he couldn’t bring her with him, but that didn’t make it any easier to leave her soft fur and gentle comfort behind.

He managed to though, eventually, tears dried and the puffiness of his eyes immensely decreased after crying for what felt like hours.

Maybe it had been hours. Or maybe he’d stopped crying halfway through and had just laid there, cuddling Jennah and staring off into space, into nothingness, into a time where he and Phil had been together and so happy Dan had thought he might just burst any second.

Before his world had been ripped into shreds.

Arriving at the studio he discovered that life definitely hated him. He and Phil had never really met on camera and he’d managed to avoid him during the aftershow and even the daily talk show, but now he saw this week’s order of dancHe didn’t have it in him to say much more, his heart was itching to tell the truth and he knew he couldn’t trust himself much longer.ers and he wanted to barf or cry or die on the spot.

It was just his luck that put him on seventh spot with Phil in eighth - the exact time they had kissed, half past seven - which meant that despite his best efforts he would definitely meet Phil today.

Out of all the shows, why did it have to be today? Wasn’t it enough he was already laying on the ground, broken beyond repair? No, life had to send someone after him to squash him, again and again and again until he would be unable to ever get up again.

While waiting for their turn Cathy, his dance partner, managed to keep his mind off of things. They talked and laughed and when she asked him about how his queen was doing he gladly took out his phone, showing her a few of the array of pictures he had taken on their walk last night. Her eyes started sparkling immediately. “She’s so beautiful. And she’s completely fixed on you, Dan, like you’re her everything, it’s so cute,” she gushed and Dan blushed.

Something crashed then and he looked up, only barely catching sight of a distraught looking Phil scurrying away in a hurry.

Surprisingly, his rehearsal went okay. He was a bit more nervous and jumpier than usual, but he was a professional, so he was able to act it off quite successfully.

When he was done with it, though, and turned to get backstage, that’s when it all went to hell.

Cathy had gone on ahead without him, claiming to desperately need water, so there was no one else around when he met Phil on the way. He was trying to get past him as fast as possible, but due to the passage backstage being so small there he had to brush Phil - that’s when he felt long, slender fingers reaching for him, closing around his wrist. For a moment, their eyes met and the blue was so vengeful, so cold Dan was left standing in a snowstorm.

He stopped dead in his track, eyes wide open, staring ahead, trying to not look at Phil, to not give him any more openings.

Because this was it, Dan thought; this was the moment his carefully mended heart would get smashed into pieces all over again.

Phil moved his face next to Dan, so close he could feel Phil’s breath on his skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake. “I hope she’s good enough for you,” he hissed into Dan’s ear, voice so cold it froze the remaining pieces of Dan’s heart. They clinked a melody as they burst, a melody sounding dangerously like the song Dan had written for the movie, the song Dan had written solely for the purpose of reaching Phil.

He didn’t even know how he got away. Maybe he hadn’t, maybe Phil had just moved past him and let him stand there, desperately clinging to the remaining shards of his heart. They seared him as he tried to hold on to them, but he didn’t even feel it anymore. The pain was gone, all that was left was a numbness that could’ve, should’ve scared him.

The next thing he knew he was sitting on a sofa in one of the resting rooms backstage, a bottle of water in his hands. He could hear people walking by in the hallway, but he was completely alone, which he was more than glad for. Streaks of tears were running down his cheeks as he sobbed quietly, and all he wanted to do was to get to Jennah, to press his face into her soft fur and accepting the knowledge that yes, he would never be okay again, but it didn’t matter as long is this amazing creature loved him.

The opening of a door tore him out of his thoughts and he stood up reflexively. He had hoped that maybe, it was Cathy checking in on him or one of the crew members informing him that he could go back to the hotel now, but no.

No. It was Phil.

Of course it was.

He looked horrible. His form was hunched over, as if he barely had the strength to hold himself up anymore and his eyes were red and swollen with tears running down his cheeks.

Dan took an unconscious step forwards, moving to comfort Phil, until he realized that he had lost all privilege to do so years ago.

How was he still not used to that, he wondered briefly when Phil finally raised his head and their eyes met.

“You know,” he started, voice hoarse and barely above a whisper, “I want to forgive you. I want to forgive you so that -” His voice broke and he took a deep breath - or maybe it was a sob. Dan couldn’t be sure. “So that I can stop.” He got louder, more confident and Dan wanted to say something, anything, but he was frozen, unable to move or even breathe.

“Stop thinking of what you did to me… Stop thinking of you,” he continued and fresh tears sprang into Dan’s eyes, a pain in his chest, so soaring he was sure it would consume him any moment.

“Forgive you, so that I never have to think of you ever again… Because I refuse to.” Phil’s voice broke again as a sob rattled him, new tears spilling from his eyes and he looked so broken Dan’s heart was pierced by a million spears all at once.

Just for a second it was quiet, complete silence engulfing them aside from the distinct chatter coming from somewhere down the hallway. Not that Dan even registered it as they continued to stare into each others eyes, a pain soaring through his body like howling flames, burning their way through his veins, leaving behind nothing but destruction.

“But I can’t.” Phil sobbed again and finally looked away, down to the ground before he lifted his gaze again, staring dead into Dan’s eyes. “I want to, so, so desperately, but I can’t.”

He didn’t even wait for Dan to react, not for the hurried “Phil, wait!” Dan finally managed to throw after him, only released from the spell that had kept him rooted to the spot when they broke eye contact, nor for the sob that fought its way up his throat. He just turned around and left Dan to break down on his own.

:::

June 2012

Dan’s nineteenth birthday was the most beautiful one he’d ever had.

Firstly, he was in a generally good place in life. He had finally started pursuing music as a real career option after Phil had practically begged him to for years and had gotten his first contract a few weeks ago. His parents were surprisingly okay with it - or at least his mum was - and his nana was the most encouraging he’d ever seen her.

Secondly, Phil was the most amazing boyfriend he ever could’ve asked for. He was supporting Dan’s every decision, he was thoughtful and attentive and, quite frankly, hot as fuck. He always took Dan’s opinions into account when he made decisions and was considerate of whatever problems Dan had - which were, mostly, about the fact that Dan’s parents still didn’t know of either the fact that he was still in contact with Phil, nor about Dan’s sexuality - let alone his relationship to Phil. It didn’t make things easy, but now that Phil earned a lot of money he sponsored Dan a train ticket every other weekend - at least when he wasn’t away for whatever acting role he was doing at the time. It was a system that worked for them, and Dan didn’t care about anything else.

And thirdly, his amazing boyfriend had managed to get some time off from filming so they could spend a few precious days together over his birthday.

Spending time together got increasingly difficult with Phil’s rising popularity, but they spent a week all alone in the cottage that Phil’s parents owned, a cottage on top of a cliff on the isle of man. They went on a picnic on the beach almost every day, and it was during one of those on monday, his actual birthday, when Phil gifted him with a key to his new flat in London and a speech soaked with the love he felt for him.

Dan had never felt more like flying than he did in this moment.

Unfortunately, that only made his fall even harder.

When he got home on thursday the atmosphere at home seemed weird from the very first moment he stepped through the door. He was well rested and had been in a bliss-like state the whole week, but now he got anxious when he climbed the stairs to his bedroom, suitcase in tow.

His suspicions got verified when he pushed the doors to his bedroom open and revealed his little brother, hunched over on the edge of his bed, clutching a pillow to his belly and sobbing loudly.

Dan closed the door behind him and hurdled over to his little brother. “Adrian!” he murmured apprehensively, moving to sling an arm around the boy’s shoulders. “My god, what’s wrong?”

“I-i’m s-so sorry, D-Dan,” he squeezed out in between sobs. Dan tried to comfort him, gently murmuring encouraging nonsense, until Adrian had calmed down a bit, at least enough to form semi-coherent sentences. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I swear, I was just looking at the pictures and dad came in and-”

Dan’s blood froze in his veins, his heart stopped and the hand on his brother’s arm clenched involuntarily. “What did he see,” he clenched out between gritted teeth, missing the questioning tone but Adrian answered him anyway. “One of the picture of you and Phil kissing. I’m so sorry.”

Dan didn’t even hear him anymore. He felt like the world had been pulled out from under his feet and he was falling, tumbling down an endless cliff he had no idea how to get out of.

His dad choose this exact moment to storm into the room, looking about ready to murder his innocent child. “We need to talk, Dan,” he said in a monotone voice, but his eyes were so aggressive Dan wanted nothing else but to curl up into a ball and hide. It’s fine, he wanted to make himself believe, you can just go and live with Phil if he throws you out.

But it went worse than he had feared.

It turned out his father didn’t want him out of the house, now that he was on his way to success in the music industry, and he had his way of forcing him to stay. Instead of screaming at him, threatening him to throw him out, he blackmailed Dan.

He still screamed, a lot, about what a disgrace he was and why, out of all the males in this country, it had to be this one. Dan strongly assumed it wouldn’t have made any difference if it would’ve been Prince Harry or whatever other male member of the royal family, but he kept his mouth shut.

He briefly toyed with the idea to jump in to defend Phil, to tell his father that he was a successful actor and an amazing person, but he didn’t give him the chance to say anything.

“I want him out of your life. You are going to cut every and all ties to that filth and will not contact him again in any kind of way. That clear?” His father’s voice had gone from screaming to hissing and the volume had gone down considerably, but his eyes stayed the same, fixing Dan in a gaze harder than steel. He took a deep breath. That was it. That was him standing up to his father for the first time in his life.

“Why?” he asked, eyes set dead on him, “Why would I do that? I love him, Dad. I’ll stay with him, no matter what you say. I don’t care what you’ll do to me.” He was proud his voice didn’t break or falter in the slightest, and for a moment he thought that he’d done it, that he’d won.

Then a smirk creeped onto his father’s face and he knew something was about to go terribly wrong.

“You might not care about yourself”, his father said, voice cheerful like he knew he was about to ruin Dan’s life, and he liked it. “But don’t you care about your boyfriend?” Dan hadn’t been aware that the term boyfriend could sound like a slur, but suddenly it did. “I have acquired some pictures the public might find incredibly interesting…”

Dan hadn’t noticed it before, but his father had Dan’s old laptop open on the table in front of him; the very laptop he had given his little brother because he had gotten himself a new one from his first self-earned money.

Dan already knew what he would see there when his father turned it around. He had transferred, but forgotten to delete all the pictures he had saved on there, including a variety of ones of Phil and him, cuddling, kissing - happy. Maybe he hadn’t even particularly cared to delete them, considering Adrian was aware of Dan’s relationship, had been for a long time. He had been happy for him and the warmth Dan had always felt at the prospect had frozen to solid ice now.

Tears started prickling in his eyes and it took all his willpower to suppress the sob that was threatening to rip from his throat. He knew what his father was suggesting. He was obviously waiting for Dan to make a choice - but they both knew there was no choice to make.

The crushing realization that he would give into his father’s blackmail made his heart shatter into a million pieces, but there was nothing he could do about it. The public had become much more open about those topics, but they both knew a sexuality scandal would be enough to destroy Phil’s entire career.

They also both knew Dan couldn’t do that to Phil - not even risk it. His father had his resources, and when he wanted to know of every interaction between Dan and Phil, then he would.

So Dan had to end it. For good.

He was given the chance of one last skype call to break up with Phil. He knew he wasn’t the best actor and that Phil would be able to tell he’d been crying and how incredibly crushed he was, so he had to make sure that Phil wouldn’t realize, make him preoccupied with himself.

He had to play into Phil’s insecurities. He hated himself for it, but it needed to be done; even if it tore him apart in the process.

Phil greeted him in his usual, cheerful voice when the call connected and Dan could already feel the tears starting to rise, a sob threatening to escape his throat. There was a weight on his chest, so heavy he didn’t know how he was able to stay in an upright position. He carefully plastered an indifferent mask onto his face while his mind went back in time to keep the tears at bay; back to his birthday, back when he’d been so happy he hadn’t even known what to do with all the happiness.

He cut right to the case, unable to put off the evil any longer.

“Phil.. I can’t do this any longer. I have tried, but… I can’t. You’re just…” His throat constricted and he almost had to gag. He had never said words more untrue in his entire life. “You’re not good enough for me.”

He couldn’t look Phil in the eyes as he said it. He didn’t want to see the pain, the sorrow; didn’t want to hear the sobs and the pleeds. He wanted away. Far, far away; to a place where he and Phil could be happy… Could be together.

He felt like a monster.

Would feel like one for a long time.

“But I love you!” Phil pleaded. Dan’s heart constricted in his chest. His palms were probably ripped open with the force he pressed his nails into them, trying to keep himself from breaking.

He didn’t have it in him to say much more, his heart was itching to tell the truth and he knew he wouldn’t be able to keep his facade much longer. He couldn’t help but let a tiny, incredibly quiet “I’m sorry, I love you” slip out, but it was drowned out by Phil’s cries.

Louder, he said “We’re done. Don’t contact me ever again,” ended the call and forced himself to block Phil on any and all social media.

Only then did he allow himself to break down.

He knocked the glass from his bedside table as he started wailing, crumbling apart; and he watched it fall to the ground and shatter into a million pieces…

Just like his heart.

::::

October 2018

Dan didn’t know how he made it back to his hotel room. He only knew Jennah was already waiting for him by the door as he stumbled inside, whining when she saw his state. She was by his side immediately, whimpering as she pressed her head to his thigh.

He didn’t even make it to the bed. Instead, he sunk to the ground right there, back pressed against the door. Jennah didn’t waste any time to cuddle into his side nuzzling his shoulder. He raised his hand to stroke her ears and she rewarded him with a soft whimper, nearly drowning the sound of his sobs.

He couldn't do this any longer. He had endured the pain for six years but now It felt like he had reached his breaking point. he couldn't do it one single second longer. He was at his breaking point.

He skurried a bit to fumble out the phone hidden in the front pocket of his black skinny jeans. Jennah continued to provide comfort, and he appreciated it more than anything else, but he needed more. He needed his best friend.

He had to discover that the reception in the hotel was more than bad, though, so he had no other choice but to drag himself across the room to the balcony. He slumped down again when he was outside, sliding down with his back pressed against the glass. It was the middle of October and only around six pm, but it was almost completely dark outside already. He could see the stars from where he sat and briefly wished he would be up there, somewhere far, far away, where the way his heart had been crushed meant nothing anymore.

He was aware there was no such place, no matter how far away. But for a moment, he let himself dream.

Until Jennah’s wet snout nuzzled into his hands.

She was back at his side again, a chocolate bar held carefully in her snout, and he wanted to cry again, out of love for this wonderful creature. “Thank you. I love you so much,” he whispered and ruffled the fur between her ears affectionately, taking the chocolate and ripping the wrapping open to take a bite. It was a bit inconvenient with one hand, considering he still held his phone in the other, but -

Wait. Phone, balcony…

Right. Louise.

He dialed her number as he swallowed the first bite of chocolate.

She picked up on the first ring. “Dan. How are you doing?” she asked, gently and caring, and suddenly there was warmth spreading through his chest. “I’m okay,” he tried, but his voice was croaky and hollow and he didn’t even believe himself.

“Oh, honey. What happened?” Of course she wasn’t fooled. He shouldn’t even have tried.

“I.. He… He talked to me.” He cuddled into Jennah for the extra comfort as he talked, who sat pressed into his side, a bastion of calm in the middle of the storm that was his pain.

That’s how he told Louise everything that had happened. How they had passed each other in the entry to the stage. How Phil had come back to talk to him, what he had said, how broken he had looked. He started crying somewhere halfway through the story and there was some kind of rustling on the balcony beside his, indicating there was someone there, but he didn’t care.

“Oh, Dan,” she whispered when he was done, and he could almost feel her embrace. He was so accustomed to her present, especially on this particular day, and it was strange to not have her there with him. He sobbed again. “It’s just,” he croaked, new tears spilling from his eyes, “In the end he’s right. It’s my fault. What happened is my fault and I just -” He halted, unsure of how to continue. “How could I do this to him?”

“It’s not your fault, Dan,” Louise remarked, voice still soft, obviously scared to make his breakdown even worse by unsettling him.

In the end, maybe it was that what unsettled him the most. The carefulness, the way she treated him like he was a small child or a wild animal, like he could get spooked and run away every second. “But it was!” he cried, louder now, and Jennah next to him howled lowly. “There has to be something I could have done differently! I could’ve tried fighting my dad, or try to make him see reason! Or at least something to make Phil understand I did it just to save him and his career!”

It was silent for a while before he continued, and he knew she kept quiet just to let him get it out. “I was just so scared. I loved… Love him so much, Louise. Everything I did was just for him.” There was a broken sob from somewhere to his right and he froze immediately. For a second he thought it had been him, choking out a sob unintentionally, but Jennah’s head was turned over to the right too, staring intensely into the darkness. Again, there was rustling on the balcony there, a sound like a door sliding closed. His lady dog growled lowly for a second, but then complete silent engulfed them both, aside from the voice of Louise in his ear, murmuring soothing words.

He was starting to think he’d imagined it all when there was a harsh knock on his door. He sat there, frozen, head turned to look through the glass pane, across his room to where the sound came from. He sat completely still, a hand laid on top of Jennah’s head tentatively to keep her quiet. A few seconds the knock came back, louder this time, more insistent. “Dan, open the door!” a voice shouted from the outside and his breathing itched. That had almost sounded like…

“Phil?!” he questioned quietly, talking to himself, which made Louise quiet down on the other end of his still going phone call. “Louise I think… I think Phil is at my door,” he whispered into the device, unsure of how to proceed. “What are you doing still on the phone then?! Go talk to him!” she insisted in a high-pitched voice and had hung up on him before he could even react.

“Dan! I know you’re there! Open the goddamn door!” the voice shouted again and there was more knocking. For a second he looked between his phone and the door, unsure of what to do, but then he got up and made his way inside of the room. Jennah followed him cautiously, but he stopped by the bed. “Can you stay here for me, love?” he asked her, pointing to the ground she stood on, and she sat down reluctantly, throwing him a look that was clearly not amused and slightly worried. “I’ll be fine,” he whispered and moved forward. He turned on the soft light on the headboard of the bed through the switch by the door before he opened.

In front of it stood Phil, hair ruffled, cheeks reddened, if from the shouting or the obvious tears, Dan couldn’t be sure. He marched into the room, brushing past Dan as if he hadn’t even seen him, but stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted the dog still patiently sitting next to the bed.

It was silent for a while after Dan had shut the door. Phil stared at his dog as she stared right back, silently estimating each other, and Dan stood slightly to the side, gaze switching between them like he was watching a tennis match.

“Come here, girl. It’s okay,” he said after a while in the direction of his dog, who stood up silently and made her way over to them. She let Dan stroke her fur before she bravely marched forward, right up to Phil. Dan held his breath as he watched her generously accepting Phil’s outstretched hand, letting him pet her.

“Phil, meet Jennah,” he introduced them, and Phil, who had crouched down to be on eyelevel with his dog, stopped dead in his track, head wiping up to meet Dan’s gaze for the first time since he marched through the door. His eyes were blue, so blue in the soft light and Dan’s heart constricted in his chest. He felt like drowning.

“Jennah?” Phil whispered questioningly, eyes wide, still stroking the dog’s fur, “as in… Queen Jennah?”

He whipped his head around, looking between Dan and his dog as he obviously made the connection. “She’s not a girl,” he stated, louder this time, “When you said your Queen you… You meant your dog?”

Dan just nodded. He didn’t trust his voice in this moment. The weight of the situation came crashing down on him, and he felt himself swaying a bit. He moved over to the couch in the corner of the room, sinking down on it, closely followed by Phil and Jennah.

“I thought…” Phil murmured to himself as he sat down quite close to Dan, not quite touching, but it was a close call. “You thought I was talking about my girlfriend,” Dan stated in a matter-of-fact tone as he pulled his legs up to his body, leaning against the backrest of the couch. Jennah sat right in front of it, her head cramped on the couch in the small space between his and Phil’s leg.

“Yes,” Phil answered breathlessly, absently stroking Jennah’s fur, staring at her like he couldn’t quite believe she was real. “She likes you,” Dan declared fondly, full of affection, “She doesn’t even let Louise that close. And she usually sits her when I’m gone.”

“Is that who you were talking to?” Phil asked softly, turning his head over to Dan now, who tensed up immediately at the question. This was it, then. They would talk about this, right now.

His heart was beating wildly in his chest and a light feeling bubbled up in the pit of his stomach, a feeling he couldn’t quite place… Not until he recognized it as something that he had deemed impossible for a long time now. Was that... Hope?

“Yeah,” he answered, and his voice was deep and husky and nearly broke halfway through this one single word. He was so nervous he couldn’t even hope to control his breathing and had to wrap his arms around his legs to keep his hands from shaking.

“How much did you hear?” he whispered, stoically staring ahead, avoiding Phil’s eyes. “Pretty much everything, I think,” Phil answered and Dan’s heart almost leaped out of his chest. Oh god, what was he supposed to do?

He started chewing on his lower lip as he took a deep, but quivering breath. “What happened back then, Dan?” Phil asked softly, body completely shifted into Dan’s direction now, one leg folded under the other to allow him to sit sideways. He was still stroking Jennah’s fur absently with one hand and the lady dog savoured it with closed eyes. Traitor.

For a second, Dan didn’t know how to breathe. He shot a quick glance over to Phil, to his eyes, and he wasn’t sure if the look in them made it easier or harder to say what he had to say. There was something in there… Something speaking of feelings Dan had contemplated as long-lost. He shuddered.

“I was… So happy with you that week, Phil,” Dan whispered, tears nearly choking him as they silently started rising into his eyes again. Where he even took them from anymore, he couldn’t be sure. “But when I came home I…” His throat constricted heavily and he had to suppress a retch. “My little brother sat on my bed, crying. Telling me he was sorry and that it was an accident.” His voice was unbelievably quiet now and completely breathless, and he felt Phil leaning in closer to understand what he was saying. “I had given him my old laptop before we went to the isle of man, do you remember?”

He took the courage to look over to Phil again, who nodded. “You were so proud you made money with your music,” Phil reminisced tentatively, matching his volume to Dan’s, “So you went and bought yourself a new laptop from it.” He chuckled lowly. “You were so excited, said you’d finally be able to see me when we skyped.”

Dan nodded back and had to close his eyes for a moment to keep the tears at bay. “I had forgotten to delete the old pictures still on there. Or maybe I just didn’t do it, I can’t even remember. Adrian knew and I didn’t-” A choking sound escaped his throat before he was able to continue. “I didn’t think it would matter,” he closed breathlessly, so quiet the blood pounding in his ears drowned out his own voice.

It was at this moment Phil obviously made the connection. He shot up from his hunched-over sitting and stared at Dan, wide-eyed. “Your father saw the pictures?” he asked and Dan could see the shock in his eyes.

“He barged in on Adrian as he looked through them,” Dan confirmed, his voice back to a slightly louder volume. He shook his head. “He was so shocked, Phil. Full of guilt.”

Phil sucked in a sharp breath. “What did your father do?”, he asked, tears clogging up his throat on their way up. Dan could feel his eyes on him as he moved to burrow his face against his knees. “Oh god, Dan, what did he do?” There was a panic in his voice now and Dan failed to keep the next sob from breaking out.

He raised his head, tears stinging in his eyes as he looked over to Phil. “He blackmailed me, Phil. My own father. He told me... “ His voice broke and Jennah whimpered from her place on the ground, sensing his pain. “He told me he’d out you in public if I wouldn’t cut all ties to you.” He was full-on crying now and before he knew it, Phil was suddenly there, taking him into his arms, gently stroking his back. Jennah nuzzled his thigh and he moved one hand to gently caress her head.

“I’m so, so sorry Phil,” he squeezed out in between sobs, burying his head in the crock of Phil’s neck. “I was so scared he would destroy your career. He would have found out when I would have tried talking to you in secret and I just... I couldn’t let him do that to you. I loved you so much.”

For some time he just sat there, crying as Phil held him in his arms, mumbling soothing words and gently rubbing his back.

It was Phil who eventually broke the silence, long after his cries and broken sobs had rung out. “Out there on the balcony, when you talked to Louise, you said…” He let his voice fade out and Dan could feel him swallowing heavily. “You corrected yourself. You said…”

Dan knew what he wanted to say. “I said I still love you.”

He felt Phil nodding, felt his hand tremble as it rubbed circles into his back. He uprighted himself, staring straight into Phil’s blue eyes.

I was now or never.

“It’s true, Phil,” he whispered, voice hoarse as he stared. “I love you. I never stopped. It’s been six years and I just...” He let his head hanging down, closing his eyes. “I could never forget you. You were always there. I couldn’t even watch you on TV without breaking into tears because of how much I missed you.”

Suddenly, there was a hand on his cheek and he opened his eyes, wordlessly staring into Phil’s. The blue was shining brightly and there was a smile on his face, so wide Dan was sure it hurt. “I love you too, Dan,” he said, his voice full of joy and happiness - and love. “I love you too, oh my god, I never stopped. I wanted to, so badly, but I couldn’t.”

There was a moment of silent communication, of Phil asking for permission and Dan granting it, and then they moved forward in utter synchronicity until their lips met in the middle in a kiss so sweet it would put every candyfloss to shame. Somewhere in the room the needle of the wall clock ticked half past seven.

When they broke the kiss to come up for air it was quiet for a moment as they looked into each other’s eyes, and then they were crying; crying and laughing and reveling in happiness, Jennah cheerfully barking back at them.

“Can you… Will you give us a second chance?” Dan asked when they both had calmed down considerably, holding Phil’s hands in his, thumbs moving over the smooth skin on their backs; still unbelieving of the fact that he was allowed to feel it again.

There were tears in his eyes as Phil looked at Dan, silently, and then he was laughing as the tears started falling. “Of course. Of course, Dan, of course. I would like nothing more than to be with you again.”

This time, the kiss was a bit less sweet, a bit more heated, and it lasted a lot longer - at least until Jennah, obviously dissatisfied of being left out, was suddenly there, running her tongue across both of their faces.

“Jennah!”, they both screeched in unison, laughing at the Shiba and Akita Inu Mix, who had her forelegs on the sofa to reach their faces, her tail energetically wagging around as she whoof-ed at them happily.

They all slept in Dan’s bed that night, closely cuddled together, Dan with his head on Phil’s chest with Jennah somewhere in between.

Four weeks later when, in the middle of a show, Dan heard about the fact that both him and Phil had been nominated for the german filmfest Berlinale, indicating that they were strong contestants for the upcoming Oscar-Nominations, he didn’t even hesitate. He ran right on stage after Phil’s dance, catching him in a bone-crushing hug. He told Phil what he had heard, tears of happiness in his eyes. Again, there was some sort of silent communication and then Phil was kissing Dan, right in the middle of the dance floor, in front of millions of viewers.

They didn’t care they all knew - all that mattered was the happiness radiating between them.

#phan #phanfiction #dnp #phanfic au #my writing

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makeste · 6 years

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BnHA Chapter 008: Capture the Flag

Previously on BnHA: Deku won his homeroom teacher’s approval by sending a baseball into outer space. Recovery Girl was like, “stop breaking shit.” All the characters got their superhero costumes revealed EXCEPT FOR DEKU because the mangaka is a fucking tease.

Today on BnHA: All Might’s first class! The kids split into teams of two to play Capture the Flag Nuclear Device! And, oh yes

KACCHAN VS DEKU

(((o(*ﾟ▽ﾟ*)o)))

As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 11 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.

hold onto your butts, kids, because we’ve reached the second volume, and judging from the cover it seems like this rivalship is about to heat up

also this cover totally spoils Izuku’s about-to-be-revealed superhero costume, but that’s okay since I’ve seen it before already

I’m at a loss for words at how wonderful and perfect this title is. just want to give it a round of applause

and I accidentally saw the title for chapter 9 while I was scrolling through the volume index and. !!!!!!!!!

(it’s “Deku vs. Kacchan” in case you were wondering)

SOMEBODY better have learned how to clench his butt more gently and visualize that damn microwave egg real good, that’s all I’m saying, because shit’s apparently about to hit the fan

ahhh there is a whole page of detailed backstory on how their costumes were made. I’m gonna cry they put so much actual thought into it

LMAO Bakugou helped design his own ridiculous costume

this will absolutely ensure that everyone takes you seriously, Kacchan

real talk this is the most Gokuderaish shit he’s done so far. I knew he had some nerdiness in him somewhere

there is apparently a Quirk Registry where everyone’s quirk details are kept in some kind of national index. pretty sure this kind of thing was the impetus behind the conflict in the first X-Men film, as well as the first (comic-verse) Marvel Civil War. but I guess it’s not as controversial when 80% of the population has these powers. at that point you’re like “yeah okay let’s make a list”

in Horikoshi’s Wikipedia bio it said he was a huge Marvel fan and it fucking shows. in a good way

lol Izuku’s mom startled him and he hung up on All Might

what is he actually going to list as his quirk though, since the whole One for All thing is supposed to be a secret? what does AM have on his own quirk registry form?

(ETA: in chapter 11 it’s revealed that All Might has told at least 3 other people about his quirk, though. so there’s that. I wonder if he has a friend in the government, or if not, maybe the U.A. principal has some influence. or hell, he probably has a fair amount of influence himself, being the great symbol of peace.)

his mom is apologizing to Izu for her sad crying in his sad flashback. is this going to get emotional. Deku hasn’t cried yet in this chapter and the clock is ticking, so

sob Deku is wearing the costume his mom made him with love. I can’t

THE JUMPSUIT IS FINE BUT THE HELMET THING. I FUCKING CAN’T

also is this thing really going to hold up when he goes all out? last time he ripped the arm right off of his jacket. I hope he did tell them something about his quirk, otherwise this thing is not going to last

(ETA: lol he did not and lol it did not)

the good thing is that everyone else’s costumes are also so fucking ridiculous that not a one of them can say a damned word

except for this guy

I don’t know his name. right now he’s Hot Guy in the Corner. but this guy knows how to uniform

listen, I have heard people compliment my shoes as “really comfortable looking” enough times to know when someone is just trying to be polite and reaching hard. I appreciate the thought though

trying to figure out how those giant boots of hers could possibly be useful for her zero-g powers. especially since she apparently didn’t actually request them. maybe they’ve got magnets or some shit

All Might is embarrassed that Deku made derivative Victory Antennae for his own costume just like All Might’s

AW HE LOVES YOU

statistically the most heinous villains are more likely to appear indoors. there could be a Heinous Villain standing behind you right now. it may already be too late. hide yo kids hide yo wife

now All Might’s going to split them into two-person teams and sic ‘em on each other

”this teaching thing is fucking easy.” [pats self on back]

these kids are the best

oh damn he’s actually got a whole involved scenario for the thing. as expected of the man who so obsessively planned every last minute little detail of Izuku’s training

but actually this is just capture the flag

it’s capture the flag my dude

in theory their partners will be chosen by drawing lots! in reality it’s the all-powerful hand of the mighty mangaka at work

lmao Iida questions if this is really the best way and Izu launches into a lengthy explanation about how it makes sense because it’s similar to what might happen in real life, and Iida fucking apologizes for getting ahead of himself. YOU’VE BROUGHT SHAME UPON YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY IIDA. HOW DARE YOU QUESTION THE LOTS

somehow I saw this coming

the guy on Discount Zuko’s right has such a flat head I didn’t register him as a person for a sec and was wondering why Discount Zuko didn’t appear to have a partner

I’m 99% sure Discount Zuko’s name is Todoroki by the way, but WHEN. WILL. HE. get an actual introduction goddammit?!

heh

...am I really going to have to learn the rest of these characters’ names too?? there are 16 of them. this is like the goddamn Chuunin Exams all over again

goddammit

Ochako is so happy to be paired up with Izu, while Izu is Having a Crisis

yeah son you need to get over that

oh boy here come the ~RANDOM LOTS~

a.k.a. the ONLY TWO TEAMS WITH NAMED CHARACTERS ON THEM*

*I know Yuri on Ice is a named character as well but I CAN’T REMEMBER WHAT IT IS and CLEARLY IT DOESN’T MATTER YET ANYWAY

my GOD those are some fortunate ~RANDOM LOTS~

so what do the other 16 people do, just sit back and watch?

son of a

I suppose they’ll all take turns and the next four will go once these four are done, though. off-screen of course. fuck those guys

All Might is telling Bakugou to adopt a villain mindset and that it’s okay for him to go all out. All Might out here trying to get Deku killed

this gon be good

meanwhile Ochaku and Izu are trying to memorize the building’s layout. Ocha isn’t stressed because this time they don’t have to worry about being expelled

and it must be my birthday because here’s a whole page all about Izuku musing on his and Bakugou’s rivalship

sooooo this is either gonna be a draw or Bakugou probably will actually lose to him. the latter is going to fuck that kid right up if it happens

(ETA: :DDDDD)

YES. EXACTLY. DAMN MY WEAKNESS FOR RIVALRIES

All Might thinks loudly at his son that he’s not going to show him any favoritism

All Might is a fucking liar but it’s cute so he gets a pass

Deku and Ocha are sneaking in through a window. I assume Ocha floated them up there or something. she’s so smart and talented

I wonder if she could just float Iida and Bakugou out of the building so that they wouldn’t have to actually fight them

Izu’s helmet makes him look like Sonic the Fucking Hedgehog and it’s really distracting me

BAKUGOU LEAPING IN OUT OF NOWHERE TO ATTACK THEM

THANK FUCK, HE BLASTED DEKU’S HELMET OFF

NOW he looks like the Izuku I’m always seeing on tumblr posts

JUST TAKE OFF THE OTHER HALF OF THE HELMET, DUDE

this Momotaro-looking guy is complaining that Bakugou’s sneak attack wasn’t “manly” but dude he’s supposed to be playing the villain in this scenario

heh. he’s off the fucking hinges

OH FUCKING DAMN

IS HE ABOUT TO IPPON SEOI NAGE THIS MOFO

”did he just read my moves?” wereeeee you thinking your movement was actually subtle...? let’s go back and take another look

this is such an obvious attack a three year old could probably read it

not discounting Deku, though. son of a bitch really DID ippon seoi nage the shit out of him

YES DEKU, YES

“Kachaan, you almost always lead with that right hook.” his lifetime of being bullied finally pays off! also, seriously, that was the most obvious right fucking hook anyone’s ever attempted. thanks in part to the always dynamic and interesting art style!

ummmm

is... this... actually a compliment somehow...?

no, seriously, he’s leading into a speech about how he’s not gonna sit back and take Kacchan’s shit anymore, but he also just analyzed his attack, and then said that this is something he specifically does with “heroes he thinks are awesome”

for now my verdict is that it is a compliment but it’s probably unintended and he might not be paying attention to what he just said

anyway, Deku’s getting seriously fired up now

KACCHAN YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF MOTHERFUCKER THIS IS THE FACE OF A KID WHO’S ABOUT TO CLENCH HIS FUCKING BUTT

lmao this tiny panel of Iida looking around wondering where everyone else is

darn him

FREEZE FRAME!!

ENHANCE

ARE THOSE

TEARS

DEKU

THIS WAS LITERALLY THE LAST PANEL

YOU WERE IN THE CLEAR

OH MY SWEET GREEN SON

...one of these days. one of these days we’ll get there

BONUS:

my takeaway from this is that some of these characters don’t actually have normal names and are only going to go by their superhero names, which makes me wonder if we’ll ever find out All Might’s name. I want to knoooooow but don’t spoil me please sob

#bnha #boku no hero academia #makeste reads bnha #midoriya izuku #uraraka ochako #bakugou katsuki #all might

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beevean · 7 years

Note

So what are your overall thoughts on Forces storywise? Positives and negatives? Where do you think the story ranks in the series?

Maybe it’ll be easier to just list positives and negatives (warning: long post):

Positives:

- Even by watching a low-quality stream of the Switch version, I can say the game looks gorgeous. It does suffer a bit from the Adventure 2 syndrome, where the art direction can bet too dull for you to appreciate the graphics, but some stages are breathtaking. Egg Gate in particular looks amazing.

- While the plot on its own doesn’t belong in this section, I appreciate the simple fact that they actually dared to break from the lighter and softer approach that’s been going on since 2010, and the fact that they remembered that the cast isn’t just made of Sonic, Tails, Eggman, Orbot and Cubot. The concept was awesome! The tone was perfect, serious but not depressing and too try-hard! There was some action! It’s a step in the right direction, and I hope people will criticize the plot for the right reasons and not because “lol sonic shouldn’t try to be edgy”.

- Shadow will be playable. Even if he’s at his core “Sonic with a OP Light Speed attack” this is very important.

- While at first I was annoyed at seeing old levels again, I’m actually happy with what they’ve done. They’re not just rehashes, they’re treated like actual dynamic environments. Green Hill is not just “hey remember this level”, it’s a place dear to Sonic that was ruined by Eggman. Chemical Plant is also ruined and repurposed as a space port, almost like a Sonic CD Bad Future. Only the Death Egg is pretty much the same, although I admit, the Classic level using the same gimmicks as the S3&K version was a nice touch that I forgave because it made sense in-universe.

- The dialogue! Aside from a couple of stupid lines, mostly by Sonic, there was no trace of childish, jarring humor, nobody was OOC or treated as simple comic reliefs, and the interactions between characters were genuine and believable. Some parts kinda reminded me of the Boom cartoon. “See, Infinite, now we het to know each other! So what’s your favorite color? Do you enjoy long, romantic walks on the beach? What’s the source of your powers? You can skip the first two questions if you like” “Maybe he’ll have more friends if he stopped talking about himself in the third person.” (maybe I just have a bad sense of humor idk :V)

- Eggman and Knuckles were perfect. We didn’t see them a lot, but their characterization was on point. Knuckles was just full of charisma and he radiated confidence, a far cry from the butt monkey he’s been since Sonic X. And Eggman was actually smart, with some clever ideas like having backup sources for the Phantom Ruby, rightfully chewing out Infinite for not killing Sonic, and… well, we didn’t see it, but I like the idea of him keeping Sonic alive in his cell just so he could see what happened to the world thanks to his absence (that’s perfect fanfic fuel). And Mike Pollock managed to sound badass in certain parts. “The sun will fall upon you. Boom! The end. Your pathetic lives… are over.”

- Speaking of Pollock, the voice acting was some of the best in the games this far. I can count on a single hand the times someone sounded fake or unconvincing (mostly Silver, sadly, and Sonic was a bit oscillating). I think I gushed about Liam O’ Brien enough, he clearly had so much fun with Infinite. I can’t wait to hear the Japanese version

- And finally I love Infinite way more than I should. His design, his voice (especially his voice

- I like that thing Infinite did in Capital City. You know, when he mind raped everyone in the city by conjuring those abominations of nature. That was a clever use of his powers.

- The last shot of the game, with the Resistance hideout shining under the sun’s light and a single flower at the center, with the instrumental version of the credits’ song in the background, is honestly moving. Even after the huge disappointment that was the ending, this part made me feel satisfied and like I accomplished something (and I didn’t even play myself). It reminds me of Wiosna from Katawa Shoujo, and if you played it you know how it feels to hear that music after finishing a route.

Neutral:

- The scrapping of lives. I’ve seen people complaining that it makes the game too easy, but

1) there’s still some punishment if you lose a life, just like in Unleashed the timer doesn’t reset and of course you lose all your Rings, so if you die you can kiss that S rank goodbye;

2) lives have been pointless since the introduction of save files. Let’s be honest, when was the last time you got a game over in a game that saved your progress? And what was the punishment for a game over? At worst you just have to restart the level you died in.

So while I’m not particularly happy, I’m not disappointed either and I welcome the change.

- The music. I put it here because it’s kind of a mixed bag, there are tracks that I hate with a passion and tracks that I can’t get enough of (and I’ve only heard a tiny fraction of the whole OST). So overall I would say it’s average-to-good.

I really wonder why they’re insisting of forcing Ohtani to compose whole soundtracks - the guy is seriously talented and I admire his work, but why can’t he be helped by someone else? I know Kenichi Tokoi and Naofumi Hataya also worked on the soundtrack, but afaik their roles are minimal.

- The Avatar himself. I’d enjoy the idea a lot more if 1) they talked, and 2) the characters stopped shilling them just a tiny bit, especially since everyone else was relegated to the background. Still, the concept of a muggle wanting to help the heroes is cool, as it goes against that sort of “elitism” in the Sonic series. And I just grew too attached to Gadget the Wolf :)

- The level design, the thing people trashed for months on end… it’s okay. Is it good as Generations’? Absolutely not. Is it bad? I don’t think so, because when I think “bad level design”, I think of Knuckles’ Chaotix and Sonic CD.

Forces is inoffensive in this regard. On one hand, it’s not as linear as it looked like, there are multiple paths and some nice platforming sections. On the other, the 3D parts are few, short and in general not that engaging, and yes, Classic Sonic’s stages are supported by too much automation because the physics engine can’t handle him apparently. In short, if you’re okay with shallow fun and you thought Colors was fine, then you’ll be okay with Forces. (and while we’re not supposed to judge the developers as people, considering the level designers were all newbies I’d say they did a good job)

Negatives:

- the fact that you can’t recollect your rings unless you’re playing as the hedgehog Avatar. That just flies against the very core of the Rings concept.

- The sheer lack of “show, don’t tell”. Most of this game is just told, in fact most part of the plot is told via walkie talkie convos. The majority of the cast is just there to comment and guide the characters during the levels, only Silver is shown actually doing something. The most offensive example is how Eggman conquering the world is “shown” by a simple text box (people are already speculating it’s another sign of troubled production). And we don’t even see that much of the conquered world, either, aside from City (no seriously that’s the name of the area).

- What happened to you, Tails? What happened to the boy who wanted to be more than Sonic’s sidekick? Why the mere sight of Chaos 0 sends you into a panic when you fought Chaos 4 before? Why thinking Sonic is dead makes you “lose it”, when the same thing happened twice already (or once, if you want to discard ‘06) and in both cases you were devastated but still managed to kick ass? Why are you just an exposition fairy? Who hates you that much in the writers’ team? :(

- THE. RUSHING. Oh my god I could rant for hours about how the game not only is too fast-paced, but outright misses chunkes. I already mentioned the text box part, but what about the part where Infinite sends Sonic and the Avatar into null space… and they get out of there in literally ten seconds? What about Fake!Chaos and Fake!Shadow being dispatched like that, without even the simples of boss fights? What about Silver, Shadow and Omega just appearing out of nowhere? What about the “fake sun” plan being thwarted simply by the Avatar after less than ten minutes? What about the relentless teasing of Infinite’s origins, all culminating in a big fat nothing (he didn’t even take off his mask for fuck sake)? What about Eggman just vanishing after the final boss? What about the fact that two thirds of the final boss are rehashes, and at this point I’m seriously insulted by seeing Egg Nega Wisp for the third time?

- Going hand-to-hand with the rushed plot, the wasted potential. Sonic gets tortured in isolation, so you’d expect some consequences to his characterization. Nope! Not even a reveal that he was just hiding his fear by acting tough. Why are Shadow, Chaos and Zavok on Eggman’s side? Lol, they were just illusions, the real Shadow is fine and the others just don’t appear. All the cool hints about a tragic past for Infinite in his own song? Nothing mentioned in-game. He’s an experiment, that’s it. The connection with Mania? Just an excuse to justify the presence of Classic Sonic, whose only purpose in the plot is to snap Tails out of his depression. This game is just begging, “Rewrite me, please!”, and if I could write decently I’d do it myself, I’m that disappointed.

- What’s the deal with Aqua Road? It’s the only gimmick level in the game and it looks like the unholy child of those horrible bingo tables in Bingo Highway and this part in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban for PC.

- Very minor, but if Eggman could see the fake sun, that means he would’ve been incinerated too. Considering how smart he was otherwise, that seems like a huge hole in his plan.

That’s everything I can think of. So, in conclusion, the game is generally good but overall mixed, and I dread the coming of November 7th because I can’t even imagine the kind of reception this game will get (and since it’ll come right after Super Mario Odyssey I don’t think it will sell well :\).

I would personally play it if I had the chance because the game doesn’t look broken, boring or frustrating, and if I can manage to have fun with ShTH Forces will definitely be entertaining :V but it’s clear something went seriously wrong during the production and it feels like there are bits of the game missing, bits that could’ve elevated the quality from “good” to “excellent” - which is also why I hope Sonic Team doesn’t throw everything away but keeps the good parts and expands on them to create an even better game next time.

So if you’re planning on getting Forces, ask yourself what do you want to see in a Sonic game, because that’s the thing that makes the difference between “it’s not perfect but I can have fun with this” and “this game is absolute trash and Sonic doesn’t deserve this”.

#sonic the hedgehog #sf spoilers//#long post #fullysowerewolf

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furederiko · 7 years

Photo

"I won't let you... suffer the pain alone!" Kyuranger's 28th episode, conveys the tale of broken bond, and lost friendship...

- Let's get this right off the bat: POOR Balance!!! T_T... He wasn't around when Naga first succumbed into the darkness, so imagine his utter shock upon witnessing how his partner-in-crime (we'll get to this later) has become an evil, ruthless, brutal, and plain messed up person. Dark-Naga is completely different from his regular self, and this is the first time we get to see Balance gets deeply depressed. Even more so than that stolen-Birthday story... - Sure, the episode starts in a carefree and casual way. We see Balance utilizing the #43 Camelopardalis Kyu Globe to become a 'mechanical giraffe' and scout the area, while Dark-Naga is having fun with his newly found emotions through a practice fight with the Indavers (again, the actor is definitely having a blast). I also personally enjoy seeing Akyanba and Kukulga get along with one another, mirroring the bond between Ikagen and Madako nicely. But everything turns sour just 4 minutes in, and the cheerful mood has completely dissolves into a somber and melancholic tome. - Balance clearly arrives on scene with a belief that he could easily persuade Naga to the good side. That's how they've always been, right? But nope. If this is another show, the whole 'turning into evil' trope would be done and over with in just two episodes. This is Kyuranger we're talking about, and that's NOT how the show works. After declaring that the BN Thieves has now been disbanded, Dark-Naga doesn't pull any punches on his (former?) friends. He shoots Balance on the spot, intentionally injures his left thigh, and then tortures him with sheer glee. Balance refuses to react, resulting in an abusive scene that... well, rather disturbing to watch. I wonder how TV Asahi even allows this on a morning show? - It's a neatly choreograph, but devastatingly desperate fight scene. Once again, Dark-Naga is soooo close on killing the other Kyurangers with his 'Dark Galaxy' attack. This time around, a mysterious woman steps in to save the day. And it's a... female Naga! Hold on, I mean, a Naga-esque female individual from the Ophiucus system. She introduces herself as Echidna (obviously portrayed by Taiki Yamazaki, voiced by Ayumi Tsunematsu), and reveals more details about the same-faced inhabitants of her system. Trivia: In Greek mythology (nope, not the ant-eater one, nor... Sonic the Hedghehog's rival) Echidna is a half-woman half-snake 'She-Viper'. She's the mother of many mythical monsters such as Orthrus (that gave birth to Sphinx and Nemean Lion), Cerberus, Hydra, and possibly Chimaera. There's a 'mother angle' in her story. So can we assume this is just pure coincidence? Or is she actually Naga's mother? Hmmm... - Echidna's appearance is... well, a bit awkward to watch. Not because of the female voice coming out of Naga's lips, but mainly because it looks a bit out of sync. This is a common occurence in Tokusatsu, but I wonder why they don't just alter his actual voice with a sound editor? Also, design-wise, I think the production team made a minor miscalculation. IMO, they should've enclothed a 'female Naga' with a high-neck dress that fully covers the neck area. At least, give him a choker or something. The actor is what many generally calls 'pretty boy', so he CAN look and showcase Echidna's feminity just right. Yet it's also clear his adam's apple is still immediately noticeable in this dress style, and that would likely attract questions from audience. Especially observant nitpickers like yours truly LOL. With that said, her inclusion is still a much appreciated decision. It gives a good excuse to keep Naga's actor among the non-suit ones, without the need to hire a new artist. And similar to Dark-Naga's messed-up sassy gestures (that is always a delight to see), he's able to make us believe that Echidna's an entirely different character. - Echidna's exposition, leads to a deeper backstory for both Balance and Naga. And that's good. We FINALLY get to see how Balance met Naga for the first time! True to his trickster reputation, not only Balance ran into Naga when he was stealing a treasure from his planet, he also made use of Naga's pure desire for emotions to get away. On a whim! Yep, turns out things didn't actually start out in 'real' good terms for them. Back then, Balance was merely using Naga, turning him into a partner for his own selfish benefit. Not unlike Akyanba, huh? Nevertheless, it's a fated meeting that managed to change him for the better. Balance now actually cares for him and others in general! That's why Dark-Naga's berserking frenzy isn't just hurting Balance physically, but also scars him emotionally (if not all of us in general, of course). Balance is going to do anything to bring his BFF back, even if it forces him to engage in an intense heartbreaking duel with him. We've seen it teased in the preview, right? - I was initially pretty disappointed when Akyanba revealed that the key to bring Dark-Naga back to his senses, is to hurt him so badly. I admit, it IS a common thing for a Tokusatsu antagonist to foolishly state their Achilles heel. Even Kyuranger have done it before with a lesser MotW. I guess, I kind of expected more from this cunning villainess. Turns out, more is certainly what I'm getting. Televi's scans have already spoiled about this 'solution' before, along with the Gold-Silver fight, and Echidna's arrival. But what a pleasant surprise when those report (probably... intentionally?) left out the powerful twists that come as part of the actual package. - Contrary to popular assumption, Echidna isn't here to help Naga. She is sent to... eliminate him. Apparently, obtaining emotions is considered a massive threat in the law of Ophiucus system. OUCH!!! Echidna also blames Balance for 'swaying' him out of his planet. This is what I meant earlier by 'turning him as partner-in-crime'. Second, the Gold-Silver fight? Intense, but heartbreaking. I expected a Mexican Standoff-esque battle, but nope... Libra Gold doesn't want his BFF to suffer alone. So when he launches that rain of arrows using the #35 Sagittarius Kyu Globe, he's taking the fall WITH HIM. Aaaaawwww, the chills!!! But the episode saves the biggest twist of all. Hurting Naga badly to save him? LIES. That was nothing but lies. It's all Akyanba's trick to pit the Kyurangers against each other. She's merely toying with her enemy, trying to make them hurt one another. So disappointment is gone, because Akyanba IS a dangerous antagonist INDEED. - Worse thing is... according to her, Dark-Naga is beyond help. There's NO way he can be cleansed from darkness once he gains back his emotions. That means...? Aaaaaw!!!! T_T. I can already hear those devastated outcries reverberating throughout the Naga fanbase. Not to mention, Naga have always wanted emotions to make Balance happy! Putting the burden and guild on the Golden robot even more. If I didn't know any better, it seems the only ways to save Naga now are: defeat Akyanba to remove her curse/spells that unlocked Naga's emotions, and seal back the emotions he's been longing to have all these time. Those are NOT easy feats! Things aren't looking good in the present time. Fun fact: Can't believe it took me this long to realize one thing. Naga Ray's name is clearly a pun for either the Japanese word 'Nagare' which means 'to flow/washed away', explaining why he's easily persuaded; and also 'Nagareboshi' which means 'Shooting Star'. And we know how a meteor is called a shooting star, right? When it FALLS down on Earth. Suffice to say, Naga's fall to darkness has been written on his name. This character was already doomed from the get-go. And that rain of arrows is another really good metaphor to this too... - What's happening in the past doesn't fare better! 'Time Travel' team exits the time hole (healing Commander's Xiao's back in the process), and goes directly to witness Tsurugi's final fight against Don Armage. And it plays out exactly like Tsurugi's story, confirming several things: One, Tsurugi has been telling an honest truth all these time. As in, he's not dreaming or seeing illusions or alternate reality like some fans have theorized. Two, Kuervo sacrifices himself to protect Tsurugi from Don Armage's blow. So yeah, I think he's genuinely really dead, as we can only see Orion (who now has a face, more on this later) carrying Tsurugi to safety afterwards. Three, Don Armage is defeated... for REAL. Phoenix Soldier strikes him down (here's hoping we get to see that cool flaming winged attack again soon), blowing up his planet along the way. So HOW is Don Armage still alive till the present time? That side of truth is still shrouded in mystery. As if that's not enough, all of a sudden the ORION is under mysterious heavy attacks! Forcing Raptor to quickly warp off towards Earth. With Don Armage gone, WHO is attacking them then? - Before you dismiss that this time travel side is removed or unrelated, do remember one thing. Kyuranger had always run several plots in parallel, but they generally still share the same theme (examples: Stinger's route of vengeance crosses path with Champ, and the brotherhood parallel between Scorpio and Kotarou). Considering the current theme is about heroes/good person turning to the dark side, could it be foreshadowing the true identity of the new Don Armage? If we observe how Naga is Balance's best friend, we can see there's a parallel running in the past: Orion or Kuervo are Tsurugi's closest comrades too! Who do you want to bet as the real Don Armage, then? - Anyway, we're back in the present time. Akyanba walks away with a severely wounded Dark-Naga, leaving the fight to the giant Indavers. Since Ursa Minor SkyBlue has to tend for Balance, Leo Red uses Gemini Kyu Globe to duplicate Lupus Blue and Chamaelleon Green, so they can form a three-colored RGB Kyuren-Oh. What a NEAT trick! Even SkyBlue is surprised to see that this is possible. I don't think we actually need a mecha battle, but at least it's unpredictable. - Despite Echidna's firm statement that the only option to the Ophiucus Metal situation is to eliminate Naga, obviously 'Save Naga' team isn't going to give up just like that. Balance personally refuses to obey, and will do anything to rescue Naga. Even if he has to face Echidna for that. But that's when something unexpected comes up. Well, duh? This IS Kyuranger, so obviously it's one thing after another. Our present team senses an odd surge of time-paradox, and notices a distress beacon from the ORION. Has the spaceship really returned? - This is where the two time-crossed storylines come together in a shivering and shocking way. Because what Lucky and friends see, is NOT the ORION they've known all these time. It's a broken and aged ruins of the spaceship! Dang it, the goosebumps. Don't forget, there's a price for trying to break the rule of nature. A small alteration in the past will affect the flow of time and reality in its future... and this must be one! Does this mean, the real one is destroyed in the past?! Oh good heave, I hope not! But the scene that slowly shifted back in time... only confirms that concern. ORION has indeed crashed down on Earth, and its passengers are on the ground, wounded and unconscious. And standing in front of them, is none other than... Sir Orion!!! Fun fact: Orion is played by actor Kai Shishido, who is the son of legendary actor Joe Shishido. He's not new to Tokusatsu, having played DASH Captain Shigeru Hijikata in the 2005's "Ultraman Max". Looks like Shishido was added to the cast later on, because I don't think he was the actor we saw in Eris's story. That one was younger, smaller in figure, and has much lighter skin! Something that obviously a nitpicker like me would've noticed... LOL. It's a tad disappointing, because having felt familiar with his face, I've been really curious about that mysterious 'temporary' actor. Guess I won't be getting my answer anytime soon. But at the same time, I'm not complaining about Shishido. He DOES has a powerful presence worthy of an important character. Beside, if my theory of Orion being Lucky's biological father pans out, his surname would make for a perfect pun! The kanji means another, but 'Shishi' is 'Lion' in Japanese, right?

Overall: Oh wow, one surprise after another huh? Thank goodness we got a lighter episode last week, otherwise I don't think my heart is ready for such intensity to come every week. This episode left me with a bitter taste, which was both sad but good. Realizing that Naga can't actually be saved, felt like swallowing a bitter pill that refuses to go down the throat. It made me feel... hopeless. But such uneasiness could only land if audience deeply cares about him and Balance as characters, which is a really good thing. So call me hypocrite, but I'm glad the Dark-Naga arc isn't resolved too quickly. Otherwise I'd be quite disappointed. Thumbs up to the writers this time for a strong focus episode for Balance. Much needed praises also goes to the sound department, because once again, GREAT use of fitting BGM to amplify the scenes. The melancholic ones during Naga and Balance's heartbreaking moments worked gorgeously by adding shade and tint of sadness. I might have some minor nitpicks about this episode that affects my score, but overall, a truly excellent episode... Next week: Orion, oh ORION... PS: We're back to "Kyutama Dancing" as the ending theme, but this time Tsurugi has been added to the equation. Also, alongside teaser for the first Bluray Box set, the official trailer for V-Cinema "Episode of Stinger" has been aired. It's available online if you're curious about it.

Episode 28 Score: 8,3 out of 10

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