#I REALLY can’t fucking blame her. she’s trapped in a hell spiral with the rest of these two insane families.
Text
Top 20 Animated Episodes of 2020 Part 2 (#10-#1)
And we’re back.. The first part is HERE, which includes the first 10 and my thoughts on this past year in animation, so we can cut the long intro and get right into it. This is the best episodes this year had to offer in animation, and it’s , without meaning to, at least a third bojack horseman. On with the show.
10. I Am My Monster (Steven Universe Future)
“We all had Steven when we needed him, but the only person who's never had Steven is Steven. He's always been there for us, so... how can we be there for him now?“
Oddly “The Future”, a finale I did really truly enjoy.. is not on this list. Really good episode, it’s just Future was easily one of Steven Univereses best season, tightining up the pacing without loosing what made the series feel special and really digging into some of more unhealthy aspects of steven’s life. And while the future is good and certanily the needed epilogue.. this episode is the climax, the cumilation of EVERYTHING Steven had done and gone though and something fans sadly saw coming and just had to simply watch, unable to help as Steven slowly lost himself. Previously on this list we saw him hit rock bottom and it only got worse: He went to home world, attacked white diamond due to his pent up trauma and once again ingored attempts to help him, this time from the diamonds and spinle, angrily refusing to listen to his own words she she sang Change at him.
This only got worse in the briliant and sadly edged out of the list “Everything’s Fine’ A really damn painful episode where steven tries to assert he’s okay and act normal.. only he cant and he destroys everything around him, and even repeats pearl’s text trick from a single pale rose with a pained voice message to connie saying to help steven. But the pressure of the LONG overdue intervension and the fact it came too late.. means steven confsses his recent sins.. and instead of taking them for twhat they are, spur of the moment acts caused by a toxic influence and a fuckload of ptsd and unreseovled issues with white that while certanly not okay are symptoms of a larger issues takes it to mean “Im a fraud”.. and thus he horriingly corurpts.
So here we are as Greg, Connie and the main gems all gap ein horor as Steven has corrputed himself, reduced to a monster whose not even malcious just.. sad.. so full of self loathing he can’t function and at risk of STAYING like that. And the relization hits hard.. and hits everyone who joins in hard. The auxilery crystal gems soon join but attempts from both groups to stop Steven do nothing. The diamonds arrive.. and not only are saddneed by what htey’ve doned but equally powerfless to stop him.
Everyone breaks down, blaming themselves for not seeing this sooner and for speding YEARS piling their issue on the kids, everyone ready to give up as they loose the person they care about most.. except one. Connie proves to be the hero of the episode, rallying the others with the above, pointing out Steven would happily help them if he could.. and that’s the problem. He’s spent his whole life fixing other peoples problems and focusing on that.. but never had someone to be HIS Steven. Fighting him’s not going to work.. he needs to know he’s loved... in the end the final battle of the series is not some struggle of life and death.. but of love. What wins the day isn’t a fight, though our heroes various powers do come in hand to restrain steven.. but it’s all of them, one by one telling them they love him in easily the most tearjerking moment of the series, cumilating in connie softly playing a kiss on his nose... and it’s this that FIANLLY frees steven from his self made prison.. finally realizing h’es not alone and that no matter who or what he becomes.. his family loves and forgives him. While we REALLY needed the next episode to wrap things up after this swell of emtitions. this was the climax the series desrved: after spending 6 seasons trying to help everyone ELSE and fix their issues he never should’ve had to.. it’s eveyrone else who gladly pitches in to fix steven’s own issues, to help HIM when he’s at his lowest point like they’ve been, and make it so he can FINALLY heal and finally find himself once and for all. IT’s one of the finest episodes of the series and easily the best of future.
9. The Perfect House (Close Enough)
“I’m this close to connecting garfield, TO JESUS”
This one’s just really funny, charming and creative. Simple as that.. I could move on but eh i’m a wordy bastard. Once again we’re focused on Emily, this time as we find out an endearing hobby of hers: She likes visiting open houses and fantasizing about affording a better place she likely never will afford, one with trash can nooks, a kitchen and a living room that are fully seperate, and indivudal bins for tea and sugar... and when it’s pointed out she dosen’t drink tea it’s only because she has nowhere to put it.
But after Josh and Candace get them thrown out, if adorably so, Emily is forced to face reality... i.e. Alex, in one of the series finest gags, in his underwear with conspiracy boards trying to connect garifled to jesus and having a jug of his urine around for some reason. Did I mention I love this weirdo because I do. Brigette is painting in the ktichen.. using her body as the canvas, though in a bikini because the show wasn’t streaming only yet. You’ll have to wait a season for possible boobs. Naturally this just stresses her out so she goes to visit more houses while Josh vows to buy a family bike, a large circular bike for the whole family, as an activity because of course he does and of COURSE he also has a recurring issue of being mocked by some random kid about not having one.
So she escapes and meets dave and caitlin, a husband whose family life is miserable and a child star who got emanicapted and they quickly form a psuedo family to look at open houses.. only to, as if to remind you what show your watching, instead end up in a tgif sitcom... and trapped in a styigian void, with only Emily desperate to get out. Also she’s been missing three days and Josh has some thoughts on that and goes after her.
Naturally given she’s crashing in on her fake sitcom family, this oly has him seen as a plot element, and Emily’s attempt at cursing and everything she can , while hilarious fail.. but the climax is what makes the episode and what inches it slighlty above quack pack.. which itself was fucking awesome. Instead of FIGHTING the format... Emily is forced to play into it, and realizes a cheesy moment of emtional honesty is what’s needed. She apologizes to her fake family, saying their nice but she has to face the world and to josh and much like Donald, seroiusly this episode was made years ago and there’s no way in hell frank knew about it, she just needed an escape but it’s more healthy: instead of wishing for a life she never had Emily just wants a break from the life she does for five minutes. She’s happy where she is, with her loving husband, wonderful daughter, impulsive but still carring best friend.. and well okay maybe not Alex, there’s somethihng really wrong with him, but as much as I love the guy I admit he’s not for everyone. I’m also a borderline feral man covered in hair who wants people to know i’m smart. I get him.
IT’s this that sets her free.. and we get another amazing gag as Dave’s family shows up and Dave chooses the fantasy.. though instead of this being thorughly pogiant it’s just “classic dave”. COmplete with title sequence. And of course it ends on a family bike with Emily getting those tins from Josh. Their relationship.. is REALLY what makes both this show and this episode in paticular work. Here while Emily screws up, it STARTS innocently enough, simply faking being a family and spirals into tgif because while this show isn’t, possibly, in the regular show cinematic universe, it’s defintely in the same multiverse. She just wants some peace of mind from a chaotic life, but dosen’t resent her husband or anything.. he just frustrates her sometimes which is fair. But he’s never portrayed as an abusive asshat which you think would be a low bar to clear but.. you’d be suprised. Point is it’s a wonderfully weird and somehow still unique despite being one of three tgif parodies this year. Seriously that shit is a goldmine. It’s how Dashieel Driscoll got half a season out of full house and a good chunk of a very special epsiode as a whole out of it. Though a certain incident helped.
youtube
Point is good show, jolly good show... and ew’ll be right back with the rest afte the cut
8. Agony of a Witch/Old Bodies, Young Souls (The Owl House)
“You always thought you were better than me! That I could never Beat you at anything! “
“I AM Better than you!”
“Then WHY WERE YOU SO EASY TO CURSE?!”
The Owl House was a show I took WAY too long to catch up on after missing the second half of season 2.. minus Enchanting Grom Fright which I caught first run and we’ll get to that story shortly. Point is my procastnation did me dirty here as this show , which was already fantastic just got better and better, cumulating in this epic, heartdestroying, soul punching, beautifully animated finale that takes everything the show has built up thus far, blows it up in some places and uses it to beautifully end in others, leaving us with a new road for the future.
So yeah naturally it’s been a long ride as one of Owl House’s strength.. is that no episode is filler. No really, each one has a purpose great or small in the larger narrative, and every major arc has been expertly paced and crafted, bringing us to this point. The only major arc or plot thread left out is Amity, and that’s honestly for the better. Make NO mistake, she’s a great character.. but like fellow great Donald Duck, she was left out because the episode had a LOT of emotional stuff going on, a lot of plot to fit in, and a lot to do and it’s simply better for her character and for the moment’s she’s bound to have in response to well.. everything happening here, to let it breathe next season rather than try to shove it into an already stuffed two episodes.
But this episode is one long string of payoffs, and payoffs creating more setups: So all season Eda, our loveable witch, has been grappling with a curse that turns her into an owl beast, one that’s been getting worse as far back as the mid season finale Escape from the Palisman. She’s been needing more and more elixer to combat it, a harrowing parallel to some real world diseases: Sometimes your meds can only DO so much to combat something actively killing you.. thankfully this time.. not speaking from personal experince.
And Luz finds out soon into the episode as Eda makes a cloak of witches wool, which can deflect powerful spells, to protect herself.. only to black out and go owl just as she’s saying she’s fine. Like most parents would Eda hid just how bad things have gotten and it’s gone from needing just one bottle of elixer to needing their entire suply, and even that barely worked. Despite her mentor’s assurances, Luz is now PAINFULLY aware her mentor is on borrowoed time... not helped by the fact the coven attacked earlier that morning and she finds out by finding hooty playing tea party with them, meaning Eda is outgunned, outmanned and while Lilith failed, again.. the emperor can now easily find her himself and send whoever he wnats and however many people he wants to fetch her.. and Eda can’t use too much of her magic or else.
So while Eda and King, touched by how much Luz has changed them, decide to throw a suprise party with King making a big cake to jump out of and Eda using witches wool she intended for herself to make her a cape. Meanwhile as you’d expect Luz.. is plotting a dangerous and life threatning mission: with a field trip to the Emperor’s Coven that day, one she was going to sit out because you know they hate her second mom for dogmatic and vile reasons the episode fleshes out, she finds out they have an artifact called the healing hat that can seemingly heal anything.
So she does what Luz does and comes up with an impulsive plan to heist the thing.. but for once her impuslivness isn’t played for laughs. Her mother figure is slowly sucumbing to a fate worse than death, for once instead of just acting rashly because Luz.. she’s doing so because she KNOWS, that she has no other choice. Nothing else in sight and she’s smart enough to know that if Eda had a cure she’d of told Luz about it. Even if it was dangerous or required a sacrifice or something Eda would’ve just left that part out.
But the trip serves a few other purposes besides getting Luz where she needs to be for the plot that makes it work: it elaborates on just what the emperor’s coven is like and WHY Emperor Belos gets away with everything: He claims to speak for the titan, the giant dead monster whose body makes up the boiling isles and who, as Luz has discovered, is the source of the magic there. So when he bloodily, I mean it’ sa kid show so they dont’ say so but given how violent this one is i’m asssuming bloody, took power, he claimed they were doing magic wrong, killed any hertiics and set up the rigid coven system. It explains just WHY the boiling isles limits themselves, gives the whole thing a creepy dogmatic religion vibe.. something that i’m REALLY suprised disney let them get away with as they had to fight for gays in the series.. but at the same time shouldn’t be because hunchback of notre dame exists and Soul , released the same year, was a big gamble against the bible belt. So their not afriad of religious groups.. but they ARE afraid of homophobic groups.. which have a lot of overlap.
Point is it’s a good storytelling device.. and cathartic given i’ve been playing Fire Emblem: Three Houses as I finally bought it with some christmas money. Good game, probably will talk about it in the future, not the point here.
The point is that the visit gives us some worldbuilding that helps show just how much of a threat the coven is and why their so intent on capturing Eda. We also finally meet belos, god emperor and man tired of Lillith’s shit and giving her till twilight to get Eda.. or presumibly die. I mean he dosen’t say it but he sure is implying it as loud as he can.
That’s when things go pear shaped for Luz who finds the hat.. and LIlith who has found her barganing chip to lure Eda to her, which works as well as you’d expect and leads to the best figh tin the series thus far and one of , if not it’s best scene; A duel between edith and lilith. And while they fought back in Covention this time it’s not a petty squabble between siblings masquerading as one trying to capture the other.. it’s fight NEITHER can afford to loose. Eda can’t loose her protege and Lilith will loose everything, dying at best being cast out of the coven at worst, if she fails not to mention loosing what she feels is her only chance at saving her sister.
But it’s also VERY clear Lilith is groosly outmatched, and while no slouch herself Eda’s constant bragging about being “the most powerful witch on the boiling isles”.. is entirely backed up. Lilith barely is able to hold herself and only gets ahead by using a child as a shiled, going even lower than her sister. However the stress of this, the build of having been the older sister of someone who constantly outshined her then turned entirely against her, finally causes lilith to snap.. and reveal the curse is her fault. Cissy Jones delivery here.. is jsut perfect, showing a mixture of rage and pain, showing that she’s spent YEARS hiding this, years resenting her sister for constnatly being better desptie working harder and doing the right thigns. Even when she’s trying to HELP Eda, genuinely trying to undo her mistake as we find out and as we’ve seen genuinely sees the emperor as the wise and benevlolent god he portrays himself as.. she can’t let it go. SHe can’t see past her own bitterness to see her sister is right and if she could just let this go and work on Eda’s terms instead of forcing Eda into her world, then maybe it wouldn’t of gotten this bad. Maybe she could’ve told her.
Eda takes it about as well as you’d expect, and Lilith.. uses this to threaten luz’s life and force eda to use up her magic to save her, leading to the series most heartbreaking moment and Wendy Mallick’s best acting so far as she bids her appretnince a tearful farewell. Luz RIGHTFULLY and angrily lashes out at lilith calling her a monster while Lilith takes Eda and urges luz to go home... and after a tearful ending with king realizing something’s deeply wrong.
So thus next episode after a history lesson from king and some suprisinging caution as he KNOWS what Luz is up against.. Luz still decides she dosne’t care. Eda’s sacrificed herself, to Luz it’s her fault she’s in this which while KINDA accurate missues some fine points such as her sister’s stubborness or the fact had lilith not shown up she could’ve taken the hat. And the fact LIlith saying the hat was junk was pretty unreliable. What i’m saying is maybe the child shoudln’t blame herself for being kidnapped while genuinely tring to reach the same goal.
But Lilith soon learns to her horror her sister was right. While Belos restores Eda’ss sentience even fully owled.. he has no intrest in helping her, eveyr intrest in publicly petrifying her, and not even the slightest hint of remorse at betraying lilith this deeply. After all her faith in the man.. Belos spat in her face and told her to like it.
Meanwhile Luz goes on the warpath, and we see just how far she’s come.. and WHY Belos is probably so restrictive with magic and put it on such a tight leash: we see that with her natural power and just a handful of spells, the four she’s pciked up over the season, she easily curbstomps the conformotrium staff, gets to Eda fairly easily.. and fines sshe can’t free her and eda wants the door destroyed so whatever Belos wants with it, he can’t have it. Luz heads home, ready to destroy the door.. onlyt of ind two things. her magic dosen’t work there.. and Lilith followed her and grabbed king. After a breif fight and Luz angrily and rightously confroting the asshole, wish she was in Eda’s place.. Lilith admits luz’s right and gives her backstory: That her insecurity was so great that on the day before a duel with Eda to determine who got into the emperoror’s coven, she curfsed her own sister, with no idea it’d last this long or get this bad. And with no idea Eda had lost intrest in it and WILLINGLY gave her sister teh spot.. It’s very clear despite her masssive flaws that will need to be adressed.. lilith never stopped caring about her sister, and it took all this to make her realize that trying to fix the mistake on HER terms without including her sister.. instead has almost cost her it.
So Luz and King relucntnatly take her help, though the other two are quickly capatured when theyt ry to get to hte exceution platform and thrown in the cage with Eda.. which dosne’t help the coven’s reputation as gus and willow try to make a case for Eda. Meanwhile we get the SECOND best fight of the series as Luz challenges Bellows.. and it’s UTTERLY chillling and while he’s had scenes before this it’s here we get the true scope of who he is ..and that like eda the god complex is something he can back up. Whlie Luz proves just how strong she’s gotten by keeping up with him it’s barely, and it’s clear from the moment go, and one of the series best shots, with Belos creeply materlizing behind her before announcing “sure, i’ll play” that this is a game. She’s no challenge to him and he simply wants to see waht she can do and is mildly impressed if a tad annoyed at her actually damaging his mask. But with Eda, King and Lilith’s lives in the ballance the only way Luz can save htem.. is to give him waht he wants.
Thing is, just like Lilith, just like everyone has, good an dbad all season.... Belos undereesitmated luz.. who left fire runes on the door, willnig to sacrifice ever seeing her mom again if it meant keeping him away from her. While he has no invasion planned whatever it is CANNOT be good. Luz saves them, and Eda flies them off with Belos saying the titan dismissed them. Also that Belos has a big penis.. super huge, size of a tractor that one. Yeah that’s the ticket.
But we get a happyish ending as LIlith does what she should’ve done a long time ago and apologizes, and Eda starts to fogive her, brought on by King earlier standing up to her as whle he’s not happy with her either, he realizes from her story she’s not a bad person.. just a very messed up one who couldn’t own up to her mistakes. One who belivied in the wrong person to fix her problem and finally takes repsonsiblity and part of the curse into her. So with the sequel hook of Eda having lost her internal magic power but still being able to use glyph’s like luz, we also find out the Emperor has the door and a mysterious masked minon,.. who i’m fairly certain isn’t amity only because it’s too obvious. This is simply how you end a season: It’s engaging, heartbreaking, well animated and pays off EVEYRHTING so far while setting up the season to come. It’s going to be a LONG wait till next time, mid-this year.. but I can wait. The high from this one’s going to last a while.
7. Good Damage (Bojack Horseman)
“ That means that all the damage I got isn't good damage. It's just damage. I have gotten nothing out of it and all those years I was miserable was for nothing. I could have been happy this whole time and written books about girl detectives and been cheerful and popular and had good parents, is that what you're saying? What was it all for?! “
Bojack Horseman is one of the best shows of the last decade, and an important one to me. it was the first one I watched when we switched to all streaming. I really related to Bojack and his struggles with depresion and self loathing.. which backfired given he’s a much worse person than me and while I could relate, I also compared myself too much to a character who in retrospect is both far worse and has FAR MORE issues than I do and diffrent ones at that outside of the depression and self hatred. The point i’m framing is that the series and I have a complicated relationship and that coupled with how bad 2020 was meant it took until a few days ago to finally finish it, almost a year later. But I cannot deny how good the show is: it has faults, a bit of reptititon in some character arcs, casting a white woman as a Vietnamize-American woman (something both Ralph Paul Waskerberg and Alison Brie have apologized for to their credit), and .. I can’t think of a last one. They never brought Ralph back? Yeah let’s go with that one what the fuck there. So I felt I owed the show one last round and it payed off as the final stretch, while easily the hardest to get through due to covering the collapse of Bojack’s life, is easily one of it’s best.
But before the fall, we get Good Damage, which instead of focusing on BoJack focuses on Diane, said asian woman voiced by a white lady, neurotic writer and Bojack’s best friend, who has moved to Chicago to be with her boyfriend guy, a chill, charasmatic and likeable buffalo cameraman. Things are going better than they ever have: she’s in a supportive relationship and thanks to her antidipresenants, while still her loveably neurotic self, is now not obessing over shit as much and is solving her problems with applomb. Even the weight gain from her meds, which she dreaded in the previous half of the season.. has insteead only made her look healthier and happier, and more beautiful than ever.
The only problem is she can’t write her long promised Memoir, which Princess Carlolyn, her former boss, agent and loveable pink cat and single mother, has promised to a lot of celebrities. She TRIES, she puts lots of work into it, keeps trying to sit there but nothing comes out. And what makes the episode truly great is how this is presented. Bojack is no stranger to beautiful, visually diverse episodes, Stupid Peace of Shit being a notable example and one similar to this one but uniquely great in it’s own way, but this one is easly the bes,t using a squiggly crude style to show just how chaotic and uncomfortable diane is and how stuck she is. She’s TRYING, but she just can’t make her life’s story into anything GOOD, she can’t get the words out which as someone whose had reams of projects I never startd, even to this day and who has genuine trouble writing fiction.... I related to this like all hell. But even people who have never had an intrest in writng can just get the feeling thanks to the wonderful writing and animation, from cameos by the rest of the cast to Diane’s father showing up as a goblin to the word boxes showing what she’s writtne it’s just a treat.
But what centers this amazing visual represtnation is Diane’s internal struggles as an encounter with a rude sales person leads her off on a tangent..and to Ivy Tran, a teen detective whose upbeat, optimstic, and in a great bit outlines who she is in jsut the right amount, and solves mysteries in a food court. It’s a genuinely good idea, one I honestly think could support it’s own series... seriously get on that Ralph-Bob. Get on that. Point is it’s good.. but Diane’s so hung up on what she SHOULD be making, she can’t see what’s right in front of her, despite guy saying the passages are good.
Things come to a head when Diane makes a huge mistake and goes off her meds.. which from experince never ends well: for the entire episode she’s been under the impression she can’t write because of them.. only to be proven HORRIFYINGLY wrong. It’s a VERY necessary aseop: that your medication will always be with you and that going off it suddenly, or blaming it for writers block not only isn’t true but is DANGEROUS. Diane spirals, cries and her writing gets dark and full of self hate. It’s then Guy proves just how fucking majestic he is: he figures out what’s going on after she tells him, and helps her get to bed so she can rest, puke whatever she needs and they’ll talk about things after she takes her meds again and gets her head on straight, when she’s in a good place to do so. As someone with mental illness.. ti’s nice to see a character who not only supports someone fully, but knows how to handle it. Instead of a shitty third act breakup like many shows would do guy stands by her.
He does however step SLIGHTLY over the line, if iwth good intentions and reason and send Princess Carolyn the Ivy Tran pages, because as he puts it he made an executive decision.. and when Diane is a bit annoyed by that as it does sound a tad douchey, he rightly points out she was in a really bad hole of a place, stuck in a loop doign something that even before going off her meds was clearly hurting her and going nowhere, and needed SOMETHING to snap her out of it, and did so not to hurt her or because he thought he knkew better or , like her ex husband, because he was oblvious to her needs; he did it because it was the hard but necessary thing to get her to seee she had something special and that she dosen’t have to constnatly tear herself up by diving into past traumas because of some internal obligation.
Naturally Diane dosen’t take it despite Princess Carolyn not only being impressed but PREFERRING the ivy pages, as she was genuinely unaware Diane had something so happy and charming in her. While Diane is worried about it when the two end up meeting in person, we soon find out why: If all the damage she went through wasn’t “good” damage, things she could writ eabout and use later.. what was it for? Could she of just been happy this whole time? Did she waste her life. And in a rare moment betwen the two PC helps Diane walk it back, explaning that she can do what she always wanted: write something that makes someone like her feel not alone. That she dosen’t HAVE to make her life story into something complicated, just make what makes her and other people happy. Something PC’s daughter could enjoy one day. So Diane finally accepts that maybe there’s something else for her.. and then we get a segue into the next episode with bojack having a panic attack and pasing out but that episode, good as it was didn’t make it so moving on.
We also check in with Penny, the daughter of an old friend of bojacks who he nearly slept with and is stil haunted both by the decision and a drunken later visit to apologize... which isn’t helped remotely when max and page, two reporters inovlved in teh subplot that tears bojack’s life apart, start hounding her. While they have good intentions, exposing Bojack’s connection to Sarah Lynn’s death, the two’s methods still come off as creepy, following a, at this point , 21 year old girl whose been through ENOUGH home. While the two aren’t terrible people their actions.. are.. while getting hte story ismprotant is it truly worth genuinely harming this person. And penny wonders if she SHOULD air her story.. she ends up not.. but only because her mother, while lettiner he decide, poitns out it may not be worth all the pressure and possible trauma it digs up,especially since Bojack is getting what he deserved anyway. IT’s a decent subplot tha tties up a loose end but really makes our journalist characters feel like assholes for again, basically stalking and harassing a young woman who didn’t want to rehash the worst moment of her life. Otherwise top notch stuff.
6. Heart (Parts 1 and 2) (She Ra and the Princesses of Power)
“Don't you get it? I love you! I always have! So please, just this once... STAY! Stay. “
Now we get to the gays winning.. and to one of the best series finale in recent memory. And given the other two titanic shows ending, one of which we’ll get to’s ending in a moment, last year, it’s a huge compliment. Heart is how you end a space opera... with big wonderful speeches, great payoff, a huge climax.. and a beautiful cathartic kiss paying off the relationship at the heart of the series that ends up saving the universe.
So let’s just go ahead and crack open that pinata: The kiss.. was easily one of the best moments of animation this year and, at a time when the quarantine was starting, misery was spreading, and things looked pretty damn bad, having a major animated show, one of the biggest of the last few years, climax with an emotional moment between two women, one the series had been setting up since day 1... it was a huge step foward for gay representation in children’s animation, and warmed my big bi heart. And it’s not just good because of that: the fact it’s a giant pile of representation is wonderous, but it’s because it’s also well baked into the show. This is the conclusion of both their character arcs: Catra finally realizes Adora will not abandon her and her leaving the Horde was not choosing them over her.. it was simply doing the right thing. So instead of running or trying to escape she’s grown enough to fight for what she wants and fight for a future with Adora.
Adora meanwhile finally overcomes her martyer complex, her determination, especially after Angela’s death, to make sure no one else is gone and she’s the only one that suffers and looses. To make sure there’s nothing else. It’s Catra’s confesssion that FINALLY gets it through her thick skull that she dosen’t have to be alone or bear anything alone.. she’ll always have someone with her to do that.. and even before Catra.. she’s always had friends for that. She dosen’t have to be alone. So the two embrace and it’s fucking beautiful..and gives adora the full power of the doomsday device they went to shutdown in the first place, restoring the planet.. and allowing her to destroy horde prime’s fucking soul. I just want to reiterate that because it understandably got lost in the shuffle of the gays winning, but our heroine fucking tears out the main villian’s soul.. and it is SO damn satisfying given what a truly repulsive , irredemible, asshat Prime was. So the two finally get a future together, a chance to build and to stop letting the past define them. It’s wide open.
But while that alone would probably net it on this list but it’s damn good otherwise, an epic final struggle between our heroes and the horde for the fate of not just their planet but ALL of htem as Prime prepares to finally wipe everything else out in egomanical genocide. There are just.. tons of awesome moments in this one: Bow and Glimmer’s suprising but welcome love confession, Seahawk annoying mermista into fighting her chip, the people of etheria fighting back.. and the reason they do is easily the second best moment of the episode. With the chips down, not literally, and things looking bleak Bow hyjacks Prime’s egoamnacial hologram.. and broadcasts for everyone to fight, to fight back, and to END THIS. After spending most of the series as the one trying to keep his friends together, the glue of everyone.. it’s bow’s heart, courage, and voice, the one that lead his friends through some rough times and severed as reason when they needed it most wether they listned or not.. that frees the world and with Entrapta turns the tide at long last. It’s just a hell of a moment.
And the only other moment equaling it is Hordak freeing himself and deciding he is his own man, he made himself tha tway for better and worst and kills prime, at least before adora finsihes the job with the badass “I am HORDAK and I DEFY your will. “ It’s just a wonderful, epic finale that pays off most of the shows major arcs, gives our heroes a MUCH deserved happy ending after spending their lives at war, and let it be said one last time, gave gay representation in children’s cartoon one hell of a win.
5. Nice While it Lasted (Bojack Horseman)
“ No, I need to tell you... thank you... and... it's going to be okay... and... I'm sorry... and... thank you... “
Back to back finales here and honestly both are REALLY close in quality, both satisfyingly paying off their series. But both take equal and opposite routes: Heart is an epic finale in scope size and impact... while Nice While it Lasted is a very stripped down character piece: there are other characters in the background but after the intro the only voiced characters in each segment are Bojack and one of the main cast, each one both showing how much said relationship has evolved since the show began, and giving Bojack time to reflect on his possible future.
I say possible because one of Nice While it Lasted’s best aspects it that there’s no real concrete ending for Bojack. Ther’es still closure: after his life emploded and he nearly died, more on that in a bit, Bojack ended up in prison, offically for breaking and entering but unoffically for all the shitty things he did with him glumly accepting it. So one year later he’s out thanks to Princess Carolyn for her wedding, sober again thanks to prison and even started his own acting class at the prison he’s geninley invested in, inteding to continue it once he gets out. But otherwise.. his future’s in flux. HE’s sober for now, but he’s painfully aware that could change again, his friends while, with one excpetion, still having a place for him in their lives, have moved on, and his career is on the upswing again despite being a pariah a year ago because as I mentioned earlier and as PC brilliantly puts it
So he could become a better man, get his career back, make amends for what he did and stay sober.. or backslide and fall down into the same traps he always has. It plays into an aseop the series has always preached: There are no real endings, life just goes on. Even for the rest of the cast hteir lives aren’t over.. their just in a good place.. maybe bojack will, maybe he won’t. Tha’ts up to the indvidual viewer and I like that. While ambgious endings can be frustrating and I get while some preferred the more concrete if still somewhat ambgious ending of a view from halfway down, I feel this fits the series better: Bojack, like the end of every season is moving on to something new, but this time we don’t know what, and that’s okay. IT’s time for us to move on.
Well okay not from this entry as each vingette deserves some praise: Our first has Mr. Peanutbutter pick up Bojack from prison, and even get him a new suit.. and then another one offscreen because predictably for his life BOjack got meatball all over it. He also calms our hero down when he wants to go back to jail, letting him know it’s okay and he’ll be there for him.. unless his friend Erica shows up but what are the odds... 1:1. But what’s nice about it is while Bojack still makes jabs, it’s clear he’s gone from truly hating and resenting PB for being the betterversion of him.. to truly seeing the guy as one of his best friends, his jabs having gone from hurtful and bitter to wry and warranted. I mean they were warranted a lot back then too he’s just a lot softer about them.
At the wedding Todd and Bojack finally reach some form of understanding after years of awkwardness, the two having reconclied but not being really remotely close or in each other’s lives hardly anymore after Todd’s understandable blow up at Bojack in “It’s You”. Here Todd has Bojack rush him to the beach to cary him on his shoulders.. to watch fireworks because he could tell he was overhwelmed, the two having found a rhtym again, with, like with mr peanutbutter, Bojacks jabs being a lot friendler and Todd having a respect for his own needs while actually being present for bojack instead of ignorant of how bad things were like he was at the start. He even helps BOjack see even if he DOES replase.. he can get right back on the horse, couldn’t resist that one sue me, and as the hokey pokey says turn himself around.
After, in one of the best payoffs of the series, finally trying Hondedew and finding it’s not so bad, Bojack dances with PC, admittingh e half hoped he’d have to help her go thorugh with it before the two run through the scenario, and PC expresses some honest fears with bojack helping her showing how the two hav egone from a horribly stiffing relationship.. to two close friends who are probably stuck with one another for life. Sunk costs and all that. And if bojack does want to act again she knwos some people. But for now PC finally really has everything she ever wanted:: A daughter, and a loving husband in judah.
Finally we have the most painful of the group because of course the Bojack finale wouldn’t be all sugar and would have to punch us in the gut. Bojack finds Diane again who hasn’t talked to him.. because he called her the night of his near death/sucidide and due to putting the blame on her due to being high out of his mind, made her feel like it was his fault during the 7 hours she could reach no one and thought he was dead. Diane is hurt, feeling betrayed that bojack promsied he’d be fine then possibly left her with the pain of his death on her concious forever.
Thankfully she’s doing fine, as she’s now married guy and Ivy Tran is a huge success and probably a series now.. but it’s abudnantly clear her friendship with Bojack is over.. but even this bittersweet, and necessary, seperation, as Diane has moved past LA and Bojack needs to stop relying on her and stand on his own two hooves, still warms the heart as she thanks him and lets him know i’tll be okay, and endugles him in telling her one last story, a rathe rfunny one about prison movie night bfore the series ends on the melancholy and apporriate song mr blue as the two gaze out and they see each other and we see them for the last time.
4 The Wasteland (Infinity Train)
“I'm as good as dead, and if my last act is to bring you with me, sliver, I can't imagine a better way to go!”
“Well, I can! “
So from a bittersweet ending to holy shit that’s depressing, we have our only entry from Infnity Train on the list. That’s not to say the series did bad this year. Season 2 was easily the series finest hour, taking the framework from season 1 and crafting a gripping story of a teenage mirror person who just wanted to live without assholes trying to kill her for what she fundementally IS, and be recognized as a person, with the help of a magical deer and a more optimstic teen grappling with his peer pressure issues. The series was still undoubtly silly with a parasite voiced by Bill Corbett, wonderfully so, and again a magical deer named Alan Dracula, long may he reign, it simply deconstructed the nature of the train and thus opened up the floodgates. By giving us a denzin who, after years of being someone’s reflection in both senses of the word, just wanted to live and how that clashed with the train and the racist assholes she met alnong the way, from the ones who wouldnt’ stop trying to kill her.. to humans who considered her as nothing more than a plaything at best and something to get rid of at worst. While Season 3 was not bad, if a bit way too strcuturally messy and trying to do too much at once, Season 2 still handled the same issues but in a much tighter frame storywise.
And that’s why only one episode made it: Most of the episodes, espicially the later ones, are pieces of a large whole, with the show being heavily seralized. Which while a great approach intended for streaming, also means it was hard to find a chapter that worked that well on it’s own, steven universe future had similar issues. But I did and the wasteland is easily the darkest, harshest and most intresting episode out of the batch.
The episode opens at MT’s darkest hour: The apex told the mirror police where she is, Jesse is gone, and MT is now running for her life from the sadstic assshole and his spinless partner who want her dead just for existing.. gee can’t imagine why a bunch of assholes refusing ot acknolwedge other peoples opinons, rights or even existance was a big topic last year.. or this year.
So while Mace, the main mirror cop, manages to handcuff her MT manages to throw him under the train. THe result is her trying to escape the train by wondering i’ts vast desert, forced to drag Mace along as he taunts her, bleeding out slowly from you know being bisected by a train. It’s a really moody peace as Mace mock’s mt’s dreams of escape and justify’s his own selling out, while MT pokes holes in that: he was so desperate to not nonexist.. he’s willing to kill others who just want the same. IT’s a damn hard watch but fuck if i’ts not compelling.
And the climax is what makes it. MT finds out she can’t leave the bounds of the wasteland, as it only projects so far and after escaping the ghoms ends up back on the train, with Mace, not long fo rthis world trying to kill her.. so we get a 13-14 year old GRINDING HER HORRIFYING ABUSER UNDER A TRAIN WHEEL. Just jesus.. I mean I kind of get HBO Max’s point that MAYBE this is a bit much for kids. I mean i’ve seen other really dark stuff but holy fuck a man died.. and we see his blood splatter. But it’s this horrible, harsh moment that makes the episode.. as is MT”s reaction.. not one of triumph.. but of exaustion and horror at what she’s done, before steadying herself to prove him wrong. A hard one to write about but damn it was good.
3. Enchanting Grom Fright (The Owl House)
“Dear Luz, will you go to Grom with me- Amity”
Now we THANKFULLY get to something lighter: the gays winning.. again. Coming out during pride month, phrasing, and only a month after the she ra finale we got this delightful episode. As I said earlier I watched this one first run: while I was super behind, I couldn’t resisit to the point I watched it before that week’s amphibia. I was that curious what was going to happen.
See as i’ve given out about quite a lot.. and I mean a LOT, Disney dosen’t have the best track record with gay representation: they don’t do horrible sterotypes or anything.. but they also don’t do much of anything for the most part. Alex Hirsch has outright spoke about how much he had to fight just to get Blubbs and Durland firmly together in the finale, and how the symbols for the love god were widdled down to just male and female. And around the time this episode came Disney was coming out of a REALLY bad batch of pr stunt gay representation: They made a big deal about the first gay x in an x having gay characters in avengers endgame, star wars: Deep Hurting and onward.. but these were cameos AT BEST, with the endgame one being so minor I genuinely didn’t realize the character was talking about dating a man and only found out afterwords. Sure Ducktales had gay dads, which is awesome and always will be.. but none of the major cast was allowed to be openly gay. I mean we know webby and lena are gay but hell if disney would allow that.
But miracoulsy.. shockingly and wonderfully.. Disney DID mange to finally just say fuck it and let some big gay rep in, something so obvious it can’t be ignored and that actually features the main character and one of the most major supporting characters. And what do you know, the good press and pats on the back outweighed the bad. It’s almost if giving up homophobic markets in exchange for doing the right thing.. is a GOOD thing while also being profable. Who’d a thunk. Point is via sheer perstiance, Owl House creator Dana Terrance got to not only make her lead bi, which Terrance herself is, but have her love intrest be a girl. And I find it genuinely wonderful that gay, bi, pan and what have you children can watch this and say “tha’ts me and this is okay”.
But even minus Owl House saying gay rights.. the episode is just REALLY good and part of it is who it focuses on. Amity easily has the most character devleopment out of the cast going from someone who walls herself off from everyone, revels in her superiority.. to slowly opening up to heroine Luz, realizing Luz is not a bad person and that Amity herself dosen’t have to be, and right before this starting the road to patching things up with her former best friend willow. Allt hrough this said friendship had been prettty, prettyy, prettyyy gay. And that’s wonderful obviously, but part of why I watched this was while I HOPED they’d get to be couple.. I wasn’t convinced since see a fucking bove. But I was happy to realize that oh my god I was wrong, the gays won all along.
So with Amity a better person she’s naturally syampthetic when sh’es put front and center at hexside’s prom equvilent which while having a dance, gromprosals and a disco ball tha’ts also a sentient being, becuase boiling isles, it also has the queen or king forced to fight a horrifying monster that manfiests as your greatest fear. And, as we find out towards the end.. Amity’s is being rejected by Luz, having her love letter, which she fails to deliver due to running into luz.. and co (which is my faviroite gag of the episode and the adorable smiles gus and willow give in response are what make it). And . it makes sense. When you stop and think about it.. Luz is the best thing in her life. She got her to change as a person, genuinely cares about and adores her, just wants to be her friend and thinks the world of her. Given her siblings, while trying to be better, are two disaster bisexuals who just stopped a lifetime of untietonally harsh bullying and her parents are controlling asshats who made her abandon her best friend at a young age and she sees LILITH as a mother figure, just let that sink in given a few entires back.. yeah.. no wonder sh’es utterly terrified of rejection. Poor baby.
Of course WE know Luz wouldn’t. Luz may be many things, including oblvioius to thte freaking obvoius as this story line has revealed, but shes not cruel and even if she said no, which I higlhly doubt she would, she woudln’t be a dick about it. But being surrounded by cruel assholes for some time has made Amity a bit paranoid so Luz volunteers to sub in to both genuinely help her friend.. and to prove to eda she can do this. Eda is also chaperoning. and looks neat in a suit, while King and Gus get a wonderful b plot of mcing the dance with the egotisticl king having issues with stage fright. I will get more into that when I review the episode proper, come back in a month for that.
But yeah while Luz does well when the time comes, and while sadly not wearing her otter suit does wear a wonderful tuxedo with a tutu.. she has her own repressed issues to adress as Grom takes the form of her mother, as Luz has been nursing guilt over not telling her the truth about what’s going on. Luz runs, and Amity ends up facing her fear to save her crush and the two get a wonderfully romantic, and desturctive dance together as they face hteir fear, untie as one and kill that motherfucker... well okay i’m not sure grom can die but it’s gone for now.
The dance sequence.. is easily one of the best scene’s all year, beauituflly animated and painstakingly planned out, with wonderful music.. it’s just awesome and what takes the episode ove rthe top, with the two perfeclty in synch as they take grom out in less than a minute. Also king become prom king and queen, he is best of both as Luz’s own personal issues put a damper on things. Also someone’s been writing her mom.
Overall just a perfect episoe and a perfectly gay episode of one of the best shows going right now. Speaking of a perfect episode of one of the best shows going right now, tha’ts also on disney.
2. Escape From the Impossibin! (Ducktales)
”We have to keep them safe” “But not like this!”
So from some emotinal torment mixed with some lovely shipping, we get a whole buttload of emotional anguish but with a robotic scrooge and the time loop room and the time loop room and the time loop room, and time l...
As I said in part 1, Season 3 is easily Ducktales best so far, having far better pacing, character ballance and bolder and more intresting stories than ever before. While the first two seasons are still excellent, this one has taken everything great and honed it and no episode shows off just how great this season is than this one.
This one takes place in the fallout of “Let’s Get Dangerous!”, with the family dealing with finding out FOWL”s not only still alive, but is run by Bradford, head of scrooge’s board of directors former shush agent as we’d find out later, and asshole, who knows all their secrets. And given Scrooge is mildly paranoid on a good day and Beakly is extremley paranoid on her best day, it’s done a number on both as they’ve split the family minus launchpad, who just had a whole episode so fair enough, up: Scrooge has taken Della and Louie, wiht their see all the angels schtick, to test out his new security, while Beakly and Donald are securing the house while Beakly has webby throughly test the boys.
Neither side goes well. The bin ends up locking our heroes out due to Scrooge’s password being changed, and forcing them to work past it. Louie rises to the challenge, as does della.. but as they beat a robot versoin of scrooge, because of course the final test would be a robot version of scrooge, Scrooge is instead of triumphant at not being dead, incredibly depressed and furious. Because when told he’s scrooge mcduck he tellingly replies “AND WHAT IF THAT’S NTO ENOUGH’. For once.. Scrooge is SCARED, up against someone who knows his every move and is one step ahead, iti’s how it’s always been, no matter what he’ll do, he’ll always loose and Bradford will always win. I REALLY need to watch spies are forever, point is he’s scared and Bradford PROVING the point by revealing he was behind it and taking over the robot dosen’t help. Our heroes win though in a damn impressive action sequence, but as it turns out.. it was just a distraction.. but we’llg et back to that.
The other plot though is whyt his is so high. While the first plot is a fun romp with deep eomtional consequences.. the second plot is decidly far darker.. it still has some good bits as webby terorizes the boys and easily one of the best in the season when she horrifying imitates dewey, but its’ only when she does finally attack she realizes she’s taken it way toof ar. She’s terrorized her brothers, caused huey to break his leg and then turn her away when she tries to help.. all she’s done is turn them AGAINST each other and they can’t win this way.
Beakly strongly disagrees and clealry lost in her own paranoia and fear, prepares to attack huey.. and thus Webby steps in... leading to one fo the most heartbreaking and tense fights in the series as grandmother and grandaughter fight one on one but both are outmatched.. but Huey and Dewey, despite everything, refuse not to help their sister and help pull webby up, with Webby panickidly realizing something’s VERY wrong and her granny usually isn’t like this when sparring... and is also chasing them. This leads to the roof, in a rainstorm no less, and Webby relcutnatnly ready to fight even though she clearly knows she both can’t win.. and dosen’t want to anymore. Despite her wilingless to scrap, fight and train.. Webby dosen’t WANT to hurt her granny she just wants to help her. Thankfully, the boys attempt to stop this, while failing horribly, catches donald’s attention as he catches them, ntocies what’s going on and furiously refuses to let this go on. While Beakly tries to ignore it and fight..s he instead slips and despite everything, the rest of the group rescue her, with Webby impressing on her grandmother that they aren’t fowl. They wont’ win acting like them and tearing each other apart.. they need to be the family they are.
But if all that wasn’t enough turns out.. yeah, Bradford’s thing was a distraction and with the rest of the group distracted with Beakly, that meant his plan went off without a hitch: all the missing mysteries have been taken by FOWL, in a masterstorke that ties both plots together and brings what seemed like isolated adventures on their own in a tagnetally related plot into the fore. Everything so far has built up to this.. and despite the loss.. the family, having been through a dark night of the soul, is ready to fight back. They want the rest of the mysteries? Their going to have to fight clan mcduck in their elment. And it’s been glorious so far. A tense, well paced, hard hitting episode, this one’s a winner. and almost got #1.. ALMOST. But as much as I tried to not go with the obvious chocie, the one with tons of press and praise and that’s graced tons of best of lists... I had to go with what was honestly the best. So...
1. The View from Halfway Down (BoJack Horseman)
“Oh BoJack, there is no other side. This is it. “
This episode was my main reason for catching up with the series and finishing it off once and for all. Awash with praise and hype I was curious about this one.. and my curiosity paid off. This is easily one of if not hte best episodes Bojack put out in it’s storied run: it’s creative, impossible to look away from and devistating: in short it’s the show in a nutshell.. and it’s a hell of a view.
Previously as mentioned before Bojack’s life blew up and he lost just about everything, from his friends, though as the finale bared out only one of them stayed away for good and for good reason, his only family in hollyhock, his house, even horsin around. He had nothing left.. so high on drugs and in his old house he passed out at the end of last episode.. and we wake up here with a recurring dream as Bojack has a dinner party at his mother’s house, another wonderful performance from Wendy Mallick. Everyone there is someone Bojack knew who died: his former best friend he betrayed Herb, Sarah Lynn his former child co start turned washed up 30 something he let die, Courdory, a co star who died trying to get off david caradine style, Crackerjacke, the uncle he never knew who die din the war and his parents, distant mother Beatrice as mentioned and his father, who is in the body of his hero secretariat who comited suiccide in this unvierse due to getting banned from racing, as that’s the kind of weird shit dreams do. Also Zack Braff, who has no real conncetion to bojack but still died during that time Mr Peanutbutters house sunk into the earth and his ex wife Jesscia bIel formed a death cult.
The group play a game of best and worst, lay into each ohter and have some really intresting conversations with Bojack confident of when it’ll end: before the show their always mentioing. But this time, it’s diffrent.. Bojack is there for it so we get a trippy and horrifyimng stage show as Bojack watches the various people one by one vo into a black door, allt he while bojack coughts up sludge and is persued by it, unaware where he was before this. Sarah Lynn gives one last song, a reprise of a song from previous in the series, Courdroy does a ribbon dance and zack braff gets on roller skates. And bojack has a frank conversation with his dad, with his dad/secretariat revealing he DID care but was just so filled with loathing he coudlnt’ admit it to his son and thus was an abusive ass.. and then reveals to bojack he’s not waking up and bojack horryfigngly see shimself, drowning ina pool. And while he frantically, heartbreakingly tries to flee... he can’t. There’s no exit for him. As herb tells him, this isn’t the afterlife, this is his brain making sense of his last moments, and ther’es no way of knowing if he’ll get rescued, no way to do anything but watch.. watch as his father secretairat shows suicide in all it’s horror by letting it know he wouldn’t of done it if he knew “the view fro halfway down”, a horrifingly haunting poem that sells just how bad it was. As beatrice and crackerjack also go we’re down to herb who introduces bojack... before going in himself, claming there is no other side. Bojack tries not to go genle and runs, and in a horrfying sequence is surronded by the ooze as he tries his damndest to escape.. but in the end he can’t. As herb said.. he can’t do anything about this. So speaking to his min’ds version of diane he accepts he probbaly won’t be coming back and we hear a monitor as we fade out. While we know it’s not the end now... there’s no way of telling then.
The View from Halfway Down is a haunting, beatuflly animated, masterwork, taking 6 seasons worth of communinity and regret and shoving it in bojack’s face in an intresting way, while bringing back characters we thought we’d never see again for one last go round. It was patcually nice to hear LIn Manuel Miranda and Wendy Mallick again,, and Kristan Schaal is always great. The show ALWAYS had a horrifying habit of having it’s penutlimate episode be an utter gutpunch that broke you, with the finale picking up the peices and offering some hope.. and this was no exception. They literally saved the best for last, and it was worth the wait. The view from halfway down may be gahstly,.. but the view of this episode is hauntingly beautiful.
So that was the list, and it was.. a lot taking 2-3 days to finish all together over both parts. But it was worth it and hopefully we can get back to some regular stuff later today. For now, thank you for reading, and hopefully i’ll see you somewhere in the sunset.
#steven universe future#steven unvierse#the owl house#lumity#catradora#She Ra and the Princesses of Power#bojack horseman#close enough#infnity train#2020#best of the year#animation#disney#cartoon network#hbo max#netflix#disney channel#lbgtq
47 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sick Little Games: Seven
B.C.
“Y/N I swear. If you ever do anything that blatantly stupid ever again,” Steve threatened as you sipped a cup of water.
“Yes, dad,” you sigh rolling your eyes.
Steve glared at you as Natasha muttered angry Russian expletives and you smile a little, “Look, I knew that it was incredibly unlikely I was going to die. It was just going to hurt. A lot. Still hurts actually.”
Natasha scowled as she tucked the blankets around you, “It was still stupid.”
“Oh,” you snort, wincing, “There’s no doubt about that. But It was effective and I had to act fast... That hell-hound had only been topside about 12 hours. And I almost couldn’t stop it... If I’d waited we would have been fucked. And it takes centuries for demons to marshal enough energy to build one up here... So. I’ll take the win.”
Thor was quiet, arms folded where he leaned on the wall. He was glad you were safe. That you were going to make a full recovery. But the image of you in a pool of black blood, bloodied and twitching still made his chest ache. “How did you know I wouldn’t kill you?” he asked softly.
“Your less well-documented powers don’t exist in a vacuum, Thor,” you answer, “Terrified Christian monks who wrote down stories had to hear them from somewhere... I needed consecrated ground. Quickly. And to do that I needed to be able to conduct the energy and... I needed to be holding on to direct it where I needed it to go.” Thor moved closer to the bed and pats your cheek, “We thought we lost you for a second, witchling.”
“Nah,” you say, giving him a brave smile. It still felt like you might be dying. It certainly hurt that much. “I’m like a bad habit.”
“Thor isn’t Christian,” Steve said abruptly.
You shrug, “The Christians don’t hold a monopoly on Holy... The definition is fairly flexible. Thor still has followers, thus where he works a miracle... and this fucking counts because I didn’t know if this was gonna work, there is holy ground.”
Steve frowned but nodded, taking a second to kiss the side of your head, “Still. If you ever do something that stupid ever again I’m gonna make Bucky do your training rounds with you.”
Thor chanced to glance at you and your face betrayed nothing. Only the same mild amusement it had a moment ago. And as for year heartbeat... well. It was still irregular and too fast. Your body on high alert after your Jolt. But a muscle in your throat pulsed just slightly. Just enough to tell him your prey instincts had kicked in, and if you could have done it, you’d be ready to bolt.
The Three of them left shortly after to give you some time to rest and Clint slipped in quietly.
“Hey, Cupcake,” he said, breathing a sigh of relief. Now that your eyes were open and you were sitting up he felt like it was okay. Before “okay” was a horribly abstract concept.
“Hey, Hawk,” you say, smiling a little. “You okay?” Clint takes a second to look at you. Big luminous eyes and tangled chaotic hair. You look frail and pale... Nat had told him like a sick Victorian Child who wouldn’t make it to Spring. But fuck if you aren’t the prettiest thing he had ever seen.
“Now that I’m seeing you alive?” he said giving you a crooked smile and tucking himself sitting next to you, “I’m great. This might be the best day of my life... I thought you were a goner, babe.”
You rest your head on his shoulder, “There’ll be better days, Clint,” you tell him fondly.
“Yeah,” he said, “The day they let you out of medical and you meet my dog.”
“YOU GOT A DOG?” you yelp, “Gimme, lemme see the puppy.” You make a sort of vague grabby hands gesture.
“He’s not a puppy. He’s a grumpy mutt I pulled out of an Alley... who then proceeded to steal my pizza and get shot.” he said, “And they told me he can’t be in here.”
“But witches need to commune with nature,” you pout, “And that,” you say pointing at the sad little potted plant in your window sill, “Is NOT nature. It’s plastic!”
Clint chuckles and rests his cheek on your head, “If I get in trouble I’m blaming you.”
“Don’t you usually?” you ask.
“Touche,” Clint conceded getting off the bed. He knew from the jump he couldn’t tell you no. He’d already told Lucky all about you. And as he padded his way into the room and made his way up to the bed, Clint had no regrets.
Lucky wiggled his way into your arms and accepted all the kisses and cuddles and effusive compliments about what a pretty boy he was. And Clint watched, smiling a little. You glowed. Warmth and light. Compassion. You took in everyone’s flaws and loved them anyway. The way you didn’t think you deserved. And Clint knew. He knew. That he’d never be able to tell you “no” ever again. He also, when he had to half drag Lucky off your bed, was vaguely aware that his dog probably loved you more than him. And Clint had to admit that that was fair. You were definitely nicer to look at.
____________________
A.C.
“Where’s Lucky,” you ask in the quiet on your porch.
“With Nat,” Clint answers smiling a little, “Plane rides freak him out.”
Clint watched the sun sink lower, burning up the atmosphere and turning the sky a flamingo pink. Stars were starting to sparkle on the horizon and the air was getting cooler. Crickets were singing and birds were calling out. It felt nice. Rocking you on the porch swing in the quiet.
“So,” he asked teasing, “If you don’t have T.V. what do you do out here?”
“This,” you answer, gesturing vaguely. “There’s a pond out back for swimming and my closest neighbor is four miles away... I just. I mean I’m not a total animal. I do have Wifi. But sometimes I just... I can’t take being trapped in anymore.”
Clint makes a soft sound and pulls you closer, “So you wanted freedom.”
“And some time. Time to figure out my next move.”
“Are you coming back?” he asked, his voice so soft that you can hardly hear him.
“I don’t- I’m not- I shouldn’t.” you settle on finally, “We just got the team back in working order... and this. This is the only family I have. I really don’t want to be the one responsible for tearing it apart.”
Clint stops and looks down at you, tilting your chin up carefully, “Babe,” he murmurs, “You did nothing wrong. Not one thing. Barnes did all of this. You were quietly nursing a harmless little crush. And he exploited it. Exploited you.” When you look away, uncertain he sighs, “Look. If it were Nat what would you tell her?”
“Nat would have already killed him,” you point out.
Clint makes a soft exasperated sound, “Fine. Any other woman. Would this be their fault?”
“No but-” you trail off and Clint stops, stroking his thumb against your jaw.
“But what?” he presses.
“They aren’t me,” you say exhaling slowly.
“What does that mean, baby girl,” he asks.
“I mean I could have influenced him. I could have cast a charm unintentionally and he could have reacted poorly and-”
Clint tries. He wants to hear how you’ve twisted this around in your head to make it all your fault. He wants to know so he can tear it apart. But he can’t. He can’t listen to you justify that level of manipulation. So he kisses you. It’s a soft kiss. The gentlest way he knows to stop you talking. To distract whatever anxious death spiral you’re about to go down to tell yourself that you did this and you deserve it all.
It’s over before it really starts and Clint is pulling away about to apologize when you sit there blinking at him in shock. “Stop,” he says instead of apologizing. “I know you. You never do anything like that unintentionally. Hell. You never do anything unintentionally. You agonize about people’s feelings for hours before you send a risky text sometimes... Even if you did cast some spell on him, baby it’s the same one you cast on everyone. Just by being you. And being you doesn’t mean that that grumpy fuck gets to abuse you.”
When you start to cry, Clint pulls you into his lap wordlessly and just rocks you. “No one,” he murmurs, “deserves what people have done to you, babe. Not one person.” He doesn’t try to stop it. He just lets you sob, even though every racked stuttering breath makes his chest hurt. He’s seen you a mess before, but not like this. Not this shattered and jagged. This tortured.
And for once, he doesn’t think a stupid joke and a cupcake is going to make it better. For once, he’s going to have to ride out the storm.
____________
B.C.
Girls' night in the compound meant a lot of things. Mostly, it meant that Tony was working Pepper’s last nerve and had enlisted every last woman she could find to throw a night out on his dime because he’d irritated her.
But it also meant, of course, that the men in the compound had unexpected free time. Which was both a blessing and a curse as they all sat in the commons trying to decide what movies to watch and what pizza toppings to order.
They were mid-argument when you came downstairs kitted out for the night. Complete with a corset, black leather skirt, fishnets, and combat boots. You look feral and sexy. Sleek. All smoke and sultry. And that skirt is riding temptingly high on your thigh. For just a half a second, Bucky can’t not stare.
Until he realizes who you are.
“You look-” Steve stops. Not sure what to say, looking flustered. You never show that amount of skin if you can help it.
“Otherworldly and vaguely threatening?” Bruce supplies, as Thor nods in agreement.
Sam whistles, “Damn,” he says, “Girl where’d you hide that outfit?”
Clint, standing next to Thor makes a sound that reminds the god irresistibly of a mouse being stepped on. The god is pretty sure the Archer stopped breathing when you stepped off the elevator.
“Nice “Come fuck me boots,” Tony observed drily.
“They were on sale,” you say, tossing a wild mane of curls over your shoulder.
When you drift out, Clint falls forward, face planting into the sofa, “Please. Please tell me that was real.”
“Oh yeah,” Sam chuckled, “That was real.”
“Fuck me.” he groaned, “That’s just rude.”
“Or not,” Bucky muttered, picking up his phone.
___________
When you hadn’t so much as looked at him, Bucky was irritated. Who the fuck were you to not pay attention to him. Well. He had a way to fix you. He had a way to remind you that he could destroy you. And he wanted to.
How dare you act like he didn’t matter to you when he knew it wasn’t true. He knew it wasn’t from the quiet way you still just... did things. The way he could hear your heart race in a quiet room. The way your eyes light up when he was even passingly civil. The innocence rankled. The sweetness. The fact that you got to stay the same while he was beaten into submission.
It didn’t take long. Not for the next phase of his plan to take place. Models were in easy supply. Everyone wanted to fuck a hero. And when he started looking, women crawled out of the woodwork. Perfect. The perfect thing to trot out.
The first one had almost been accidental but after that... well after that, it was fun. The shock. The blushing. The scampering up the hall. The next morning knowing you’d skip breakfast to get your work out in. It felt right, ripping those pieces of innocence out from under you. Forcing you to stop in your tracks and deal with this reality instead of sprinkling glitter on it.
He loved every minute of snatching that out of your hands. But, he reflected, it felt like it was time for something... new. Of course, he came to this conclusion when you walked in on him fucking some blonde off of Tinder in the motor pool when you were going to get your jeep and you’d not looked nearly... startled, enough. He needed more, he decided. He just needed to figure out how to get it.
Tags: @lancsnerd, @thorfanficwriter @blameitonthecauseway @etherealwaifgoddess, @stevieang, @beautybyfire, @sunmoonandbucky @mrsfox79, @bbmommy0902, @mendes-fan, @iheartsebastianstan, @wtfcas @pinknerdpanda, @process-pending, @ladifreakingda, @leasly, @coldbookworm, @hv-chw3, @past-perfect-future-tense, @starkrobb @beardburnsupersoldiers, @petlaufeyson, @queenoftheunderdark, @potatoheadthewise, @thehyperactiveteen, @thefridgeismybestie, @boyett514, @an-awkward-human-1, @sunshine-and-riverwater
#Bucky Barnes#Bucky Barnes X reader#Clint Barton#Clint Barton x reader#fluff#Lucky#Thor#natasha romanoff#Steve Rogers#Sam Wilson#Tony Stark#manipulation#voyerurism#asshole!Bucky
146 notes
·
View notes
Text
Locked Doors
Fandom: The Magnus Archives
Chapter 2 of 2
What happens when your who is returned to your what.
Read on AO3
Michael didn’t want to go to a hospital, and Jon agreed that it would probably be best to not deal with doctors obsessing over someone who had been presumed dead for seven years. Luckily, Tim apparently knew a good amount of wilderness first aid, so after a slightly hectic few minutes trying to find the emergency kit, the current assistant was setting the former assistant’s hand in gauze while Jon had run off to inform the rest of the staff about the current situation. Couldn’t have someone accost the stranger wandering the institute, not again, even if Michael insisted that he would prefer to be out of everyone’s hair as soon as possible.
He would prefer to just be done with the Magnus Institute.
He peered down at Tim as the other man wrapped his hand. Tim was frowning, but the anger from earlier seemed to have vanished from his expression, replaced with a stern focus. Not exactly an approachable look, but that had never stopped Michael before.
“Can I ask you a question?” He said, leaning forward and hiss slightly as Tim tugged a bit too hard on his hand.
“What?” Tim responded, not looking up. Michael sighed.
“It’s sort of a weird request but… can you tell me what I look like?” This did catch Tim’s attention, and he looked up at Michael quizzically.
“What?” Michael glanced aware under the gaze, grinning nervously.
“I haven’t exactly been able to use a proper mirror in a while… it’s been awhile since I’ve seen myself without the distortion ruining the image,” He thought for a moment. “I can’t even remember what it looked like to be honest. I mostly just remember enough neon to be nauseating,” Tim hummed, before dropping Michael’s hand and standing up. Michael frowned, realizing he might be asking too much. “It’s fine if you don’t want to tell me, I know it’s weird-” Tim waved his own hand, running the other one over his face and through his hair.
“It’s… it’s fine. I can tell you. You’re pretty average looking, I guess? You got this blond mop of hair, you’re pretty pale, greyish eyes. I knew about ten guys that could practically be your double from when I was at uni. The weirdest bit is that you don’t even look that different?
“Your hand’s normal, far as I can tell, and your voice doesn’t give me a migraine anymore. You just look like a normal guy. The sweater is a little weird, but it’s not as flashy as I think it was,” Michael looked down at what he was wearing. They were the same clothes from his journey into the mountains, but they were definitely different. They did look older, to start. His jeans were ripped where they hadn’t been. His sweater was worn at the wrists and he figured the coat he’d attempted to lend Gertrude was frozen on a cliff somewhere. He looked back at Tim, and was startled to find the assistant staring intently at him with an odd look that he couldn’t place. Tim turned away.
“Your hand should be fine for now, it’s not a bad break. Try not to use it for awhile if you can.”
“Thank you,”
“Are you really Michael?”
“What?”
“Are you really Michael Shelley? Or is this just some weird trick to lure us into a false sense of security. Those fucking clowns are up to something, woudn’t be that surprised if you were working together,
“The circus? No, I hate the circus-” He cut himself off. Did he hate the circus? He hadn’t actually known about the unknowing before Gertrude decided to feed him to delusion incarnate. Did he hate the Stranger, or was it simply remnants of a thing lodged into him?
No. No he hated it. He could remember that much. The distortion had wanted him to interfere, but so had he. It was a ritual, like the ones Gertrude had been after. If he could throw a wrench in its workings, then perhaps no one else would receive his fate. But that isn’t exactly how that small thought buried in his mind had been realized. His face hardened.
“I hate the Stranger and the Spiral and every other so-called god. My name is Michael Shelley, and if that isn’t who I am then I would prefer someone to let me know now before I get any hope back. Now,” He stood, moving towards the door, “thank you so much for the first aid, but I’d really like to get out of here as soon as possible.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Tim said, voice unsure, glancing between Michael and the door.
“It’s a wonderful idea,” Michael ground out, and left the room. He did not slam the door behind him, but the thought crossed his mind. He had never been one for slamming doors. Perhaps now was the time to start.
Seeing Elias Bouchard in the Hallway before the elevator back up to the library was a bit of a shock.
Well, not a shock. It wasn’t that surprising to see the head of an institute standing in a commonly walked area of said institute. But Michael was not prepared for it in the least. He stumbled and felt himself pale slightly at the sight of the man standing so nonchalantly. This man was a murderer. A direct conduit of the eye.
Michael had met Elias when he’d first started at the institute. The older man had been alright, if a little bit unpleasant to be around. He was intimidating but only in the way that a university student who drinks and parties on weekends is intimidating to someone in secondary school. Which is to say, not that intimidating once you realize how much of an idiot the man is.
The Elias standing in front of him wasn’t an idiot. He’d grown a lot around the time he became the head of the institute. He looked sharp despite his age, and his eyes bore into Michael. After a moment he smiled, and his grin was nearly reflective.
“Mr.Shelley! How wonderful of you come back to us! We’ve missed you,” Michael had seen a hunter before. The distortion had enjoyed trapping one or two in its mazes, giggling as they would chase each other or his other prey around, not noticing that they were being devoured themselves. The expression on the other man was far more predatory than any he’d ever seen on those animalistic creatures. Michael felt his mouth go dry, but it shifted into his usual friendly workplace smile anyway.
“Hello Mr.Bouchard,” He said, “I was actually just leaving. Wouldn’t want to be in your way,” But neither of them moved. The hallway was small, and while Michael was lanky enough that he could have definitely fit on either side of Elias, it felt as if any attempt would end poorly for him. Though he was probably just paranoid. When Elias just continued to look at him, he continued. “Actually, I did want to talk to Jon before I left, have you seen him?”
“Oh, yes, he’s talking to Martin right now. Explaining everything so the poor man doesn’t jump out of his skin when he sees you. Wouldn’t want a repeat of what happened with Tim no would we?” The man’s tone was far too light for how sick Michael was starting to feel. “Especially now that you’ll be working together,”
“What?”
“Oh, well of course! I don’t blame you for not thinking of work, I’m sure your head’s still a little fuzzy, but you never actually resigned. And you’ll need work anyway to get back on your feet. The archival assistant position has actually gotten a higher salary since you’ve been gone. Now, if you could just come up to my office and sign some paperwork…” His voice turned to static in Michael’s ears. What a cruel joke. To still be trapped somewhere after finally escaping hell… but the more he thought about it, the more he sensed a lie.
He remembered thinking about quitting back before Gertrude had started pretending to value him. He had thought a lot about finding a less high stress archiving job, maybe with more people his age, but he’d never been able to bring himself to do it. The spiral had known how the eye trapped people, not terribly unlike how it trapped people in their own broken minds. He didn’t feel that now. There was no reluctance, no hesitation. The sick feeling in his stomach was simply because this man had far too much blood on his hands for anyone to be comfortable talking to him. The eye didn’t have hold on him anymore.
Perhaps he could thank Gertrude for something after all. He grinned back.
“Actually, I’m afraid I won’t be returning to work. Seven years is quite the long vacation, and I’m afraid I’ve forgotten most of what my position entailed aside from being condescended to, and I don’t miss it. Besides, you wouldn’t want any lingering distortion to mix up your carefully organized files, right?” He leveled a stare at Elias, trying to ignore the slight way his unbandaged hand was twitching. “I’d like to find Jon now, if you wouldn’t mind.”
“Try the kitchen,” And then Elias walked away, leaving Michael alone once more.
Jon was not in the kitchen. There was, however, a woman that he’d never seen before making tea, who jumped slightly when he opened the door. She seemed a bit younger than him, or maybe just much smaller, with brightly dyed hair wearing a graphic tea. He’d say the spiral had influenced her fashion choices, but she looked far too serious for that to be the case.
“Ah, um, hello,” She started, “Uh… who are you? I don’t think you’re supposed to be down here,” She spoke with an unsure amount of authority.
“I’m Michael. Michael Shelley,” He waited for the flinch or gasp of some sort, but it didn’t come. She just continued to look at him with a sort of sneering disinterest. There was something in her eye that almost seemed familiar, but he chose to ignore it. So Jon hadn’t gotten to explain things to her yet. Well. He’d love a conversation with someone who wasn’t familiar with the monster, and it wasn’t like he was lying. Not completely.
“I know Jon,” He said, trying to sound appeasing, “I needed his help with something so I thought I’d stop by,” She didn’t look convinced.
“Not to be rude mate, but you look like you just got hit by a bus,” Michael laughed in response.
“Honestly I feel like I might have been. I uh, had a bit of an accident this morning,” He held up his wrapped hand, “A regular one of your institute scary stories I think,” Michael could see when she closed off. They stood in silence for a moment, him smiling nervously while moving on the balls of his feet, and her holding her fresh cup of tea looking like she’d lash out if he made any sudden movements. In the end she just shook her head and sighed.
“I think there’s a cot in the store room if you need a place to crash for a bit. Doubt anyone would try to stop you.” She said finally, before taking a long sip of tea and walking out. She might’ve mumbled something rude under her breath, but Michael just nodded absently and stood there for a minute, before turning.
Michael didn’t care about talking to Jon now. He really needed to get out of this institute.
Two days later, they sat across from each other at a coffee shop, both of their reflections looking perfectly natural in the well cleaned window. They had gotten chances to talk in the past couple of days, mainly right outside the institute, so it was nice to just sit in a peaceful environment. Jon had gotten himself the blackest tea that Michael had personally ever seen, and he’d gotten Michael a hot chocolate and a sandwich. Michael stared at the spiral shape of the whipped cream before breaking it with his spoon. They talked for a while, mainly pleasantries, both obviously unsure where to start the serious conversation. Jon broke the peace first.
“Elias is sending me abroad,” Jon said and a small part of Michael panicked.
“I’m not coming,” The words burst out of him before he could think about any other reason Jon might be telling him this.
“What? No, I didn’t mean… I wouldn’t ask you to come. I’m not that dense, I don’t expect you to come, of course not. I just…” Jon trailed off for a moment “I know you’ve been sleeping outside these past few nights.” It wasn’t Michael’s fault he didn’t have enough cash for anything more than a park bench. At least it’s spring, he’d thought. But it wasn’t like he wanted Jon to know that, even if the knowing was unavoidable.
“I-”
“Michael,” The blond man sighed and looked down.
“Yeah. Yeah.”
“I didn’t want to push you, because I know this is hard,” Michael couldn’t stop the slight chuckle that escaped him. Jon smiled at him softly and continued. “You are probably going to have to reenter society eventually? Basira still has some pull with the police, I really don’t think you’ll experience too much trouble in that department. What I wanted to talk to you about is if you’d want to stay at my flat for awhile?”
“It’s fine if you don’t, I know you’re not exactly comfortable with… me… yet,” Jon held up a hand when Michael began to protest and continued, “but I’ll probably be out of the house for a month or so anyway and I’d really appreciate it if you could keep an eye on things,” They both knew that wasn’t the reason. Michael could tell that Jon simply wanted him somewhere safe and to be able to check in, and for him to feel like he was at least somewhat in control of his new normal. Perhaps not all archivists were good liars after all. “And Michael?” Jon reached over and gently touched Michael’s injured hand with his own recently scarred one. “I’d like to be friends,” Michael froze. Those words sounded so familiar. Like they were his in a distant, broken way. They felt safe. They felt true. Michael smiled, perhaps the first purely genuine smile he’d shown in the past few days. In the past few years. And he knew his answer wasn’t a lie.
“I’d love to.”
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
CODE Z3RO | CODE 13
characters: BTS & Red Velvet
genre: thriller, futuristic au
warning: i guess a lot of depressive thoughts
summary: The twelve most ambitious and promising university students are welcomed in Choego, the world’s first entirely artificial intelligence-driven city, to compete for five job contracts that could change their life. But what if something goes wrong? What if they get trapped? What if the city suddenly turns against them? Can they find a way out before the countdown reaches zero?
words: 4k
tagged: @philosopher-of-fandoms
➼ Chapter Index
Death.
Such a simple, trivial and lifeless word. And yet, it could bring empires to their knees. Finality had always scared human kind because it was something they couldn’t control, something out of their supervision. People managed to conquer nature, fight against wild animals, they could have diminished entire continents with the snap of their fingers but nobody had won over death before. Egyptian pharaohs had already intended to grant a fruitful afterlife to themselves as they built those huge monuments for themselves, piling gold over gold but it wasn’t a unique trait. Humans tended to wish to control as much as they could regarding their mortality: depending on their religion and beliefs they either wanted to ensure their afterlife or make sure to leave their trace on Earth. Nobody really wished to disappear without anything left behind. Be that fame, the knowledge or the love somebody held for them. But wasn’t loving the cruellest and most painful things to do after all? Because loving meant baring yourself to the possibility of losing something precious, something that leaves you hollow afterwards.
Jungkook remembered when he had encountered death for the first time. It had been almost fifteen years ago, near the hospital bed of his grandmother and he still felt his heart racing uncomfortable whenever he had smelled that typical clinic scent or saw those machines and canullas attached to people. He hated hospitals, he was sick just to the mentions of them, he felt like throwing up only by seeing the hospital bills pile up on his mother’s desk. The treatment had cost way too much for a mere secretary but in her desperate need, she hadn’t cared. But there she had been after: jobless and grieving with three children to feed and a huge debt weighing down on her shoulder. In his worst moments, Jungkook had often called his mother out on being so irresponsible to get them into this spiral downwards from which there was no way out because blaming her had been the easiest when things had been hard on him. He couldn’t have played around or had fun like kids his age. He had been working since he was fourteen, so he could contribute to the family budget. His mother had done everything she could to provide them what they needed but from such a small pay it wasn’t easy at all. Little Jungkook had been bullied for being poor, so growing up Jungkook swore he would have never let anyone look down on him once again. He had spent his afternoons in his middle school’s library to learn programming by himself and he had studied hard to get into a university because he had known how much information technicians earned with the right degrees. But now, he kind of wished he hadn’t been so ambitious, then this guilt wouldn’t have been eating him up like this.
Because death had never been the hardest on the deceased but on those who were left behind.
Yerim had lost a lot already despite being only eighteen. She had cried over dead pets, lost friendships, heartbreaks and now, she had lost her brother as well. Seeing another candidate die right in front of her eyes thanks to the artificial city’s ruthlessness seemed like nothing after that. It was almost as if she had become numb to process that. All she knew that it was not a game nor coincidence. They were going to die there in that terrifyingly beautiful town with a technology smarter than mankind. So once the hallucation fog cleared, she shakily pulled away from Jungkook’s shielding embrace and took a step back. She averted her eyes, so she wouldn’t see the hurt expression on the boy’s face. Because in that moment, it might have been him who needed support.
“Are we really safe here?” Yerim asked with trembling lips, turning towards the other two. Seulgi stood just behind the IT guy who quickly took a seat behind one of the dozens buzzing computers in the room and tried to hack himself into it just like he had done it in the hospital. This one had better security system, so he knew it was going to take a while.
“As safe as we can be. This is the last zone but we still need to stop the simulation or what the hell this is,” the guy murmured as his fingers ran as fast as lightning over the keyboard. Yerim understood nothing of the words written in white over the screen of black. At first look, they looked like English but despite her good language skills, she didn’t get any of it. But Yoongi seemed to know what he was doing and that made her feel hopeful. They had gotten here after all. At what price though?
“Jungkook, can you check the cables of those servers? We need to know the physical network connections as well because if there’s a hub, it might–”
“Be enough to shut it down,” the engineer boy finished his sentence right away, understanding what he intended to do and he got to work, walking behind those black boxes with tiny bright dots.
Just standing there, Yerim suddenly felt as useless as ever. Maybe Taehyung had been right: what was a journalist doing there in the first place? She couldn’t even help the others. She only survived so far thanks to others’ sacrifice. It would have been much better if Seokjin stayed alive instead of her. He could have helped. Like he always had done.
She was surprised when a gentle hand touched her shoulder and she looked up at the always doe-eyed Seulgi dumbfounded, not knowing what to do or what to say to the other girl. They had never talked before, at least not really if they didn’t count the time in the hospital when she had found her alone. Seulgi looked like a deer caught in headlights then but now there was something else in her eyes something akin to determination, a fire that couldn’t have been easily put out. It might have been fueled by desperation or anger, maybe both.
“You’re studying journalism, right?” The architecture girl asked her quietly and there was no mocking in her voice like it had been the case with the annoying Marketing guy. So Yerim didn’t felt ashamed of herself because of her major.
“I do, but… why does it matter?” she crooked a brow at the weird kind of question in such situation but it started to make sense as Seulgi kept going.
“If we get out… or at least you do, you should make sure that everybody knows about what happened here because we can’t let it happen again,” she shook her head and nibbling her lower lips she looked very confident in her statement. Opposite of how hopeful and uncertain that little if sounded, the rest was different. It was a side of Seulgi none of them had seemed before. She was like a girl who had had enough of letting others die around her and Yerim could resonate to that sentiment. It was the least they could have done, trying to save other innocent souls. So she didn’t even hesitate before she nodded firmly.
“Okay,” she murmured, hands in fists, already ready to post about it online, watching it go viral while penning dozens journals until one of them published their story. Their rival-like teammates who had all come for the same goal deserved at least that much. Hoseok’s girlfriend also deserved to know that he had missed her the most, or the Kim parents should have known that their son had saved them all with his sacrifice. People should have learnt not to trust a machine unconditionally because whether it be an error in the system or somebody’s doing in the back, an AI felt no remorse and knew no loyalty.
“Fuck,” Yoongi cursed suddenly and both girls turned their heads towards the IT guy sitting behind the computer screen. But the screen looked different this time, there were not only code lines there but lots of decrypted data as well.
“What? What did you find?” Yerim rushed to his side analysing what she saw from up-close. There were numbers and something that looked like a task manager on the black screen. It didn’t mean anything to her though, so she looked at Yoongi for help.
“I know why the city was killing us all. This is not a hacked simulation program,” he shook his head, lips almost bloodily chapped from the way he bit into them while breaking through the security system. His pupils were wide and scared, this was the first time the youngest member of this freaking experiment had ever seen him like this, so her throat closed up when he opened his mouth to elaborate. “The AI, the heart of this freaking city, is on its way to self-destruction.”
Yerim sucked in a breath understanding every word but not being able to process their meaning. Yoongi pointed to the progress bar on the screen saying how much time they had and above it, there was a list of all the sectors within Choego and the cursor flickering next to the number 24.
SECTOR 22 SHUT DOWN
SECTOR 23 SHUT DOWN
SECTOR 24 QUEUED
Execution 92% – 32 minutes left until total shut down
All three of them stared at the computer fearing the numbers would change because countdown was once again their lifeline, too.
“Self-destruction? But… why? The researchers wouldn’t have… they all died too, so who did it?” Seulgi spoke up, confused, voicing out all of their concerns.
Nobody knew how it happened and it was easy to make themselves believe it was just an error. Something had gone wrong and the security of Choego had started to act off. But this was different, this was something they couldn’t blame on the artificial intelligence only. A computer didn’t have free will, so there was somebody behind it. Somebody who wanted none of them to survive the night. If his plan worked out, all of them would have died about 18 hours before when the whole chaos had erupted. If Yerim had slept throughout the night, would have anyone noticed their approaching end? Maybe she had saved them then but only for a short while. But could it have been called such a righteous act even if they had ended up dying all sort of terrible deaths in the end instead of not waking up from their beds?
“It could have been only done from the inside. From this exact room to be precise because the program only let me in through IP address identification,” Yoongi explained which made the girls gulp in nervousness. That could have only meant one thing, they both knew: it could have only been an employee, one with permission to enter here.
“But everyone whom we met seemed so enthusiastic about Choego. Even if it was a revenge of some sort, why would anyone use such a brutal method?” Yerim gasped but none of them had an answer for that. There was no explanation to human savageness.
“I found it!” Jungkook hollered all of a sudden from behind the rack of computers, so they all three looked his way. “There’s only one connector to all, so I will–”
“Stop! Don’t touch it!” Yoongi yelled in panicked voice as if that single flick could have killed them all. But what couldn’t here for real?
Jungkook walked out from the cover of the shelves and stared at the other guy confused. Yoongi understood the sentiment because his earlier request could have been misleading. He didn’t want to force the computers to shut down just like that, at least not yet.
“Why?”
“Is it because of what happened when Namjoon managed to break into the researchers’ base? That the countdown quickened?” Seulgi asked in a small voice, uncertain as her caramel eyes were looking from one guy to another. The younger firmly shook his head to her question.
“But that was because the alarm system itself noticed the malfunction. But this is the main computer for god’s sake. Everything will shut down, that freaking killing program as well,” he argued and slight anger and hopelessness were mirrored in his eyes as he looked dead in Yoongi’s eyes.
“That’s right. Everything. That means no heating, no electricity, no water, nothing here if we’re lucky. But if we are not, then maybe those invisible killing walls around the sectors stay or there could be a backup generator somewhere that takes the place of the main computer. And knowing this freaking city, there must be not one but more, like the Internet: it’s a network where any hub can replace the other if done right.”
“Then why the hell did I need to check it if you had no plan on yanking it out of the wall?” the younger boy huffed out, disappointed but finally understanding why it would have been a risky decision to cut the electricity just in here. The backup must have been kept elsewhere and they would have never made it there in time.
“Because if my idea doesn’t work out, we need to leave our fate in the hands of goodwill and luck,” the IT specialist said dryly and as if on cue, two new lines appeared on the computer screen. Lines that contained their death sentence.
SECTOR 24 IN PROGRESS
Execution 94% – 24 minutes left until total shut down
Yoongi didn’t believe in life after death. He was a man of analytical thinking, therefore there was no heaven and hell according to him. It they were, Choego would have been hell for sure. He didn’t condemn those whose religion taught about Heaven or Valhalla, at least they had something to believe in, something that was waiting for them. Whether it really existed or not, in the moment of the end, it didn’t matter. But Yoongi didn’t fear death because he believed it would be the inevitable death from which there was no way back. He feared dying without being able to say goodbye or to kiss his mother’s cheek and tell her he loved her.
But in this moment, it was now or never. They were on their own, nobody could have helped them. Even the main computer was separated from Korea’s 3G and 4G networks, he couldn’t connect to any, so if they failed, they would have left without being able to tell anyone. Without anyone knowing about the struggles they had gone through in order to survive. People just over the other side of that bridge and all around the world had no idea what was going on with them: they had dinners usually, went to work like they always did and maybe not even their loved ones were worried because it hadn’t even passed a day since they last contacted them. And that, their death going unnoticed scared Yoongi the most.
“I found a hidden file. It has randomly serialized names changing every other second, so I almost missed it but it seems to be a key,” he spoke up as he typed something on a different computer than the one with the countdown.
“A key to what?” Seulgi whispered, voice strained with desperate hopefulness.
“To stop this program,” Yoongi answered as he hit Enter.
The computer beeped, then small dots appeared on the black background. Sixteen dots and then suddenly a text:
Face recognition done
“Hello, Min Yoongi, it has been a while. What can I help you with?” the lovely woman voice greeted him through the speakers and her too sweet, too artificial voice sent shivers down all of their spines. Oh, of course their last chat was stored in the central memory, Yoongi thought to himself while the others exchanged glances, not quite getting the friendly chit-chat.
“Hello,” the IT guy greeted the computer back coldly and went straight to the point. There was no use being sentimental with a software. “I want to stop the currently running program. How can I do that?”
“There are currently 486 programs running. Which one did you mean? Do you need me listing them all?” The AI’s nice voice echoed in the whole room, rebounding from all that metal and it even suppressed the constant low buzzing sound.
“No, I… I’m talking about the program that shuts down the sectors one by one.”
There was a pause, a deafening silence while the computer searched through its task manager to find the one. They were all waiting with their breaths held back.
“Do you mean Code Zero? It has been running for 1059 minutes, only 21 minutes left. Are you sure you want to stop it?”
“Yes!” Yoongi almost screamed at her, the words Code Zero tasting like metal in his mouth. So that was it. That was the source of it, the reason for this chaos. However, it wasn’t as easy to get rid of as he had thought so. Gosh, he was so naive to think, finding it was the hardest part.
“Permission denied,” the computer recited and he felt like a sulky child protesting:
“But I have the key.”
“Do you have the password?”
“Fuck,” he slapped on the desk frustrated that made the girls jump in surprise.
“Incorrect password. Please try again,” the voice told him ever so lovely, so he gave it another weak try:
“Choego.”
“Incorrect password. Please try again. You have three more tries.”
Oh, damn, so they even had a limit? The guy sucked in a breath, suddenly not knowing how to get that freaking password in time or how to get it right within three tries.
“Is there a way to retrieve the password?” Jungkook interrupted the conversation, even though he didn’t sit across a camera, the computer could tell the question didn’t come from Yoongi.
Voice recognition done
“Hello, Jeon Jungkook.” The AI greeted him as well and out of all the things that had happened to them, it was the least bizzare one. “Yes. You have to answer a question.”
“Why didn’t you say so before?” Yoongi let out a frustrated sigh and the robotic answer felt like a slap.
“Because you didn’t ask.”
Of course. A computer only does what it’s told.
“What’s the question we need to answer?” He asked then forcing himself not to get impatient even with the counter going down to 17 minutes since.
“You sit in a car. You are driving. You go with normal speed. Suddenly Person A runs onto the street right in front of you. Person A crosses the street with no pedestrian crossing and it’s too late to stop and avoid the crash. If you slow down as much as you could, Person A’s survival odds are 30%, your survival odds are 97%. If you turn towards the opposite lane, another car might come, so Person A’s survival odds are 80%, your survival odds are 50% depending on the type of cars involved. If you turn towards the sidewalk, you might hit another person and run into a wall. Person A’s survival odds are 70%, Person B’s survival odds are 35%, your survival odds are 70%. Would you hit the jaywalker?”
Once the robotic voice stopped, silence embraced the four of them. It sounded like a riddle. So their answer would have been the actual key? Yoongi looked up and exchange glances with the others. They all shook their heads, it was an unanimous decision.
“No,” he said out loud, heart throbbing in his throat as they were waiting for the system’s next step.
“I see. And taken you sit in a smart car that chooses to hit the jaywalker, would you feel guilty as if it was your own fault? Even if a truck crosses the other lane and a child runs on the sidewalk?”
“Yes, I would feel guilty,” Yoongi replied without hesitation.
The end does not justify the means, he believed.
“Here’s your answer, Min Yoongi.” The AI told him almost as if she was saying goodbye and the screen on the other monitor changed as well.
Execution 97% – 12 minutes left until total shut down
Command reset in progress. This might take a few minutes.
SECTOR 24 ON HOLD
Execution calculating…
A collective sigh was torn from the mere university students’ throats equally. The computer buzzing got stronger with each second but this time, Yoongi had a good hunch about it.
“And now?” Yerim spoke up, voice small and unsure. There was only one thing they could have done.
“Now we wait.”
Seulgi’s legs gave out in relief. She sank down to the floor, knees stretched from earlier but even the pain felt reassuring this time. They were going to live. They were going to get out. She felt it in her veins. It was finally the end of this manslaughter. She sat there, quiet, while Jungkook monitored the screen and Yerim scribbled something onto a piece of paper. She was trembling, sitting on the cold metal but didn’t even notice it up until Yoongi lowered himself down next to her. He stared ahead of himself, still breathing heavily and from the way his fingers twitched, Seulgi could tell how big of a pressure the boy faced. He saved them, he saved everyone he could and suddenly she wanted to tell him, to thank him, to take his hands and tell him that it was alright. But she didn’t find the right words and she couldn’t move. It was Yoongi who first broke the silence.
“What did you see?” he whispered and he didn’t need to elaborate, Seulgi knew immediately what he meant by it. She still remembered his whispered words of reassurance and gentle hands on her skin as he had brought her back to reality. Even sitting with shoulder to shoulder, suddenly she missed his closeness.
“My mother… telling me I could have saved them,” she croaked out in a broken voice. She should have but Namjoon might as well have been right about it, that she had been the one who led them into death. Even her silence had caused the end of some. So in a way she wasn’t better than the killing machine. However, the biggest difference was that she had regretted it, she was able to feel guilt. A program didn’t.
“Mine told me I am cruel,” Yoongi whispered and even though Seulgi didn’t agree with him being cruel, the boy didn’t seem like wanting to explain, so she didn’t ask him to. They all had their own little secrets. Their own cross to carry.
The lights flickered above them and the buzzing quieted down. A big red lettered message appeared on each screen in the room.
Self-destruction mode deactivated. You have 60 minutes to reboot the <CODE ZERO> command before the archives are deleted. Section borders are turning off. You are now set to normal mode.
It seemed too good to be true. But hadn’t they suffered enough to finally earn this?
“Is it… done? That was it?” Yerim asked almost as if she didn't dare to believe in it. After facing so many trials it was hard to. None of them had it in them to answer, to be the responsible for others to take the leap of faith. Not until Jungkook pointed at the again changing screen.
“I think so. Look! The zones are not shut down anymore.”
SECTOR 24 WORKING
SECTOR 23 WORKING
SECTOR 22 STARTING...
Seulgi felt tears pricking her eyes, tears of something akin to relief and joy but also sadness and the guilt of survivors.
She stumbled to her feet, heart hammering in her chest, ready to leave this Hell of island lied to be the Paradise behind just like a songbird anticipating to leave its cage. Her breath hitched when calloused fingers curled around her wrist so softly. She looked up at Yoongi and followed him without hesitation. Each of them did.
“Let’s get the hell out of here.”
And so they did but that was the thing about death: nobody could leave the guilt and grief behind entirely. It stayed; just like one could never get rid of the blood on their hands. This was the price to pay for the illusion of freedom. But whether it was a mere mirage or not, passing through sector after sector, Seulgi couldn’t help but wonder whether it was really the city that kept them there for so long.
Or was it something more?
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
okay so your answer about the coping mechanisms and how they've figured it out but it took a lot of fights to get there (100% agree) made me suddenly want to ask about the angsty relationship asks. but not all of them, if you don't want, just the first 10-15 or whatever. :)
Had to break out my laptop and glasses for this one.
1. do they have a lot of arguments? if so, over what?
They don’t argue a lot most of the time. Once they start though it seems like it’s one thing on top of the next. Neither mean to do it, but they both tend to keep score. Their fights always spiral into past mistakes and arguments etc.
2. who apologizes first? in what way? is it hard for either of them to apologize?
Not in the beginning, but once they’re comfortable and settled: Emily apologizes with words. Andy apologizes in actions. Andy doesn’t like admitting that she’s wrong. Emily always apologizes first because of her own insecurities.
3. which one has more insecurities? over what?
Emily does. Andy has a good supportive family so even when she struggles she has a strong foundation. Emily has been on her own for a while now. Both family wise and friend wise. She has very little faith that she can make a relationship work. It’s not just relationship insecurities though. She has a lot of insecurities about herself in general too.
4. who gets more riled up? do they show their anger?
I think they’re both pretty fiery and would have no qualms about getting into a yelling match. As far as showing their anger... I’d rather not think about this. I think Emily would be more passive aggressive though and I’ll leave it at that.
5. how do they hide their pain when they’re upset? do they try to hide their pain?
Andy is pretty open about her feelings and not afraid to show them. She trusts Emily and because of that, it’s easier to just be hurt or upset in front of her. Emily is a little more guarded. She tries too hard to mask what she’s feeling. This always leads to her not being able to hide it at all. She can handle stress well enough, but if she’s truly hurt... she just can’t fake that.
6. who tries to make up first? does it work?
It depends on the fight. Andy is reluctant to ever admit she’s wrong, but when she does she goes big on the make ups. They usually work, because she’s genuinely sincere when it comes to them. The rest of the time it’s Emily. When they fight Emily’s first goal is to stop the anger. She wants to be able to talk about things or ignore them, but she hates fighting. Sometimes she makes up too much. She apologizes for things that aren’t her fault etc. Anything to just get them moving forward. Andy doesn’t always notice this, but when she does she doubles her efforts to make things right.
7. would they hate-fuck if they were mad at one another? if they had a falling out?
I wanna say yes because that would be hot. But I don’t think so.
8. do they hold grudges? is it hard for them to let go/forgive each other?
Andy holds grudges like there’s no tomorrow. She hates that she’s like that, but once you mess up it’s hard for her to let go of that. Emily doesn’t hold grudges as much. She just gets resentful. She especially can’t stand when there’s a double standard. There’s pretty much a running list in her head of every fight and transgression they’ve had.
9. is there something big that could potentially tear them apart if it was revealed?
I don’t think either of them would handle the other cheating very well, but I think even that they could work through.
10. if something already happened to tear them apart, what would make them come back together? is it even possible?
Let’s assume this something is Miranda? They just genuinely like each other. Despite being pitted against each other, they want to get to know one another better. And hell, if they can survive that then very little will break their bond.
11. what’s their favorite pass time when they’re upset?
Andy works on anything and everything. If there isn’t work to do she cleans. Emily likes to get in the tub, super hot water, maybe cry a bit. They both like walking and/or driving around aimlessly. If they’re not upset at each other than cuddles, handholding, etc. On the rare occasion, she does get really emotional and upset, Emily has been known once or twice to sit in Andy’s lap, straddling her and just cling to her, face buried in her shoulder and cry. Andy, on the other hand, likes to be in bed and held. She wants to be the little spoon though because when she’s upset and feeling vulnerable she doesn’t like being totally exposed.
12. who do they confide in when 💩 hits the fan (besides each other)?
Since this is a very limited “world” let’s say Emily and Andy both look to Nigel for advice. He hates it and mostly just lets them talk themselves into figuring things out. He has zero interest in getting into the middle of things. Emily also talks to Serena. Andy talks to Lily.
13. is it hard for them to talk about their feelings openly with each other? if so, is there any way that can be resolved, even in the slightest?
Not usually, unless it’s a big problem between them. LIttle stuff they can handle. They talk about their feelings pretty openly when it comes to outside stuff too. Things can always be resolved with these two, but it might take time. Andy has been in failed relationships before but has never been truly devastated. Emily has been, and because of that, she takes things very slowly. Once they're together that’s it for her though. She works through things. She doesn’t give up.
14. who grieves more when the other is away?
Emily because she’s been alone longer. Now that she has someone, she never wants them to be gone. Andy is pouty and sad when Emily is gone, but it isn’t heavy.
15. who misses the other more, or really thinks about them more?
Andy thinks about Emily way more. Emily is good at compartmentalizing, so she can focus on things without constantly getting wrapped up in thoughts of Andy. However, sometimes it catches her off guard and Andy pops into her head and she just gets the whole goofy first crush vibe. She loves it, even if she’d never admit it.
16. do either of them have a special item (an article of clothing, a necklace, a 📓) that they use when they miss the other? if so, what is it? what do they do with it (read, wear, look at, smell)?
Emily has lots of comfort books. Getting lost in books makes it easier to forget about how much time has passed or how much longer she has to wait. Andy snaps photos of Emily all the time when the other girl isn’t paying attention. She likes to scroll through them when she’s missing her. There’s a lot of good ones, and she’s kept most of them for herself and no one else has seen them.
17. who cries more? who gets more emotional in general?
Most of the time it’s Andy. She doesn’t cry much, but she does get emotional. Emily doesn’t fall apart often, but when she does it’s a lot. She’s also the one that cries through movies, holiday commercials, certain songs on the radio, etc.
18. do either of them have the other’s stuff lying around their 🏠?
Both, definitely. Despite having the bigger apartment, Emily spends a lot of time at Andy’s. They eventually move in together at Emily’s, but the first few months they spend more time at Andy’s. It might actually be a while before Emily even lets her see her place.
19. how about teasing? do they tease each other while in a fight (whether it be with themselves or just general teasing)?
this one has me stumped...
20. do either of them have any vices?
Emily’s vice is definitely chocolate. Andy... bad tv? maybe reality tv? Which Emily hates.
21. what’s the thing they miss most about each other?
Have a safe place they can let their guard down and just be themselves.
22. what’s their go-to breakup/angst song?
Okay, I’m stealing this one from a real-life thing... but it’s “Come What May” from Moulin Rouge. Because even when they’re fighting they know that they can get through it.
23. who’s more jealous?
Emily!
24. who is the first to forgive?
Andy. Once she does forgive it’s real. It may take a lot to get there though. Emily has a tendency to make Andy work for forgiveness--mainly an insecurity testing kinda thing.
25. what’s the one deal breaker for either of them (lack of communication, fear of commitment, etc)?
lying
26. who would take longer to let go? do they ever really “let go”?
Andy. She never REALLY let’s go--even though she hates that about herself. Emily has taught her that the best way for someone like Andy to do this is to make new memories over the bad ones. If they fight or something bad happens... they find a way to overlap that memory with something positive.
27. which is more 😨 of confrontation?
It depends on the fight. Andy is scared if she thinks Emily is gonna lose her shit. Emily is scared if she thinks she might really lose Andy.
28. who’s the first to distance themselves (if either)?
They both do it for different reasons. Emily distances herself if she thinks she’s about to be hurt. Andy distances herself if she thinks she’s going to say something to hurt Emily.
29. who’s more patient? is it hard to break that patience
Andy is more patient. It takes a LOT to break it.
30. who’s the first to blame themselves?
Emily. She’s insecure. There’s probably some backstory here that I’m building up, but idk what that is just yet.
31. who’s more likely to do something out of spite?
Emily. She hates herself for it, but she’s been trapped in the Runway lifestyle for so long that it just happens sometimes without her even thinking about it. She would NEVER truly sabotage or hurt someone though.
32. who would be the first to say they hate the other? would they mean it?
Emily. Not at all.
33. who worries more?
Emily worries ALL the time, but it’s just the way she functions. Andy is the one that worries about the more serious things. She also is affected by it more because she only worries when there’s something big.
34. what scent reminds them of the other?
The smell of rain reminds Andy of Emily. Emily thinks of Andy when she smells certain perfumes because Nigel is always giving her new things to try. Most of the stuff Emily already knows, but she swears it smells different on Andy
35. do they have any regrets (regarding the other, or just in general)?
They both mainly just regret how easily manipulated they were by Miranda. They regret not standing up for themselves and each other more. Emily has a lot of regrets about how she’s spent her life.
36. who’s quicker to walk away if a situation gets heated?
Andy. She bolts. Emily has times when she gives Andy the silent treatment, but she doesn’t walk away.
37. who is more prone to anger?
Emily is more prone to quick anger. Andy is more prone to lingering anger.
38. who cries more in an argument? do either of them 😭?
Emily. She cries any time things get super emotional.
39. does it take a lot for it to get to the point of yelling?
No. They’re both pretty passionate, and while the situations may not come up often if things get serious so do they.
40. who sleeps on the 🛋️? can either of them 💤 without the other?
They struggle to sleep without each other. Emily hated sleeping together at first, but now she’s gotten used to it. When Andy is in bed with her, Emily is all sprawled out, half on top of her etc. If Andy isn’t there, Emily tends to curl up in a small ball and sleep like that. Andy sleeps okay if Emily isn’t there, but she always steals Emily’s pillow or something to hold onto.
41. who’s more likely to protect the other?
Emily can slay someone with words alone and would do so in the blink of an eye, but she knows Andy can stand on her own. Andy is protective over Emily in all ways. Whether Emily can defend herself or not, Andy is always there and ready to go.
42. if one of them gets injured, who worries more?
Emily keeps a calmer head because she goes into instant planning mode. She looks at the situation and figures out what she can do. Instantly, she’s making plans and directing things etc. Andy gets helpless when things go wrong so she worries more than anything. She kind of just shuts down and focusses on worry and fear.
43. who would be more 😨 of the other’s death/harm?
Equal
44. who ends up yelling first? are they always yelling when arguing, or do neither of them yell at all?
Emily raises her voice out of a need to be heard. Andy raises to match. They don’t usually yell though.
45. who would be more likely to save who?
It would really depend on the situation.
46. who stays up at night brooding?
Emily. She’s a night owl by nature. She’s just been conditioned to be a morning person.
47. who has more dreams/nightmares about the other?
Andy dreams a lot, but Emily has a lot of nightmares.
48. who comforts who after a bad dream/event?
Andy comforts Emily. She’s literally the only one Emily will allow to comfort her in any situation, but especially waking up scared.
49. do they think about each other a lot? does it affect their performance/schoolwork?
It definitely affects their work when they’re working together. The rest of the time things are pretty okay. Emily is generally too busy to stop and daydream, and Andy is usually far too invested and engaged in what she’s working on to daydream.
50. if one of them were to come back after a long time, who would come to who? would it go well? would the other person take them back?
This one is really hard. Only because I’m having some very strong feels about the second book... I’m going to say that Andy would come back to Emily. It wouldn’t go well at first. It would take a LOT of work on Andy’s part to get Emily back.
Sorry for how redundant some of these may seem. I feel like I kind of just kept saying the same things. Hopefully, it’s not disappointing.
5 notes
·
View notes
Note
:D Thank you for answering my question!!! Okay this prompt might be a little strange and a little spooky. But what if Akira could see ghosts and the phantom thieves were literal phantoms. Akira goes to tokyo and People r cruel. But on first day at Shujin he meets a blonde kid and befriends him. Rumors about the scary transfer happen but now people also say that he goes off into corners n talks to himself.He finds the only living person at shujin who likes him isnt really a living person at all..
He says his name is Ryuji.
No one else can see him; Akira’s barely able to some days,with how translucent and wavery he looks. He stands at the stairway leadingdown to the first floor most days, shoulders against the wall and cold fire inhis eyes until Akira’s out of class. It took him three days to realize thatRyuji, as much as he wears the uniform like everyone around, probably isn’t astudent of Shujin Academy anymore.
Honestly, Akira prefers his company, even more so when Ryujishows him how to break onto the school roof. It’s less breaking than it isRyuji stepping through and fussing with the lock—the perks of being a phantom,Akira guesses. Lunches and afternoons are much more bearable with a secretplace to retreat to and a new friend to talk to.
Ironic, isn’t it, that the only person in this fucking citythat isn’t afraid of him is already dead?
Ryuji’s pretty talkative for a dead boy. He walks with alimp, and sometimes out of the corner of his eye Akira sees splashes of blooddripping down from his temple to stain his shirt. He scowls fiercely when Akiraasks about it, though, and the music Akira has playing from his phone cracklesin time with his voice when he details how Kamoshida Suguru, the gym teacher,crippled him with a blow to the leg and then, when his back was turned, whenRyuji was trying to crawl away, another to the back of his head.
He was never charged; the school passed it off as“justifiable self-defense,” and Ryuji’s been stuck haunting these effin’ hallsever since.
“He treats this place like it’s an effin’ castle and he’sthe goddamn king,” Ryuji tells him seriously, pale and washed-out in thesunlight; he’s so much easier to see indoors, but he likes it out here on theroof with Akira; Akira gets the feeling that Ryuji’s been trapped in thosehallways for longer than he wants to think about.
Sometimes they’re joined by another pair of flickeringshadows, neither ever as clear as Ryuji or as talkative—in fact, he never hearsthe black-haired one speak, and the second blonde only glares when Akira triesto address her. Ryuji tells Akira not to take it to heart—Suzui Shiho is justanother one of Kamoshida’s victims, and Takamaki Ann is tied to her like aguideline—wherever one goes, so does the other, and Shiho is stuck here untileither she’s removed or Kamoshida gets his just desserts.
Akira aches to help them. He watches them shimmer in thelight like an oil streak, watches them pass through walls and doors; if hesquints, he can almost see the moment when they fold through reality to do it.
It’s stupid, but he wonders...
The next time Ryuji passes through a closed door, Akira putshis hand on it and shoves, just lightly. Of course it doesn’t move, but Ryujipokes his head through and laughs at his efforts, making a joking grab for hishand as if to—
it connects
Akira goes straight through, wispy and insubstantial as acloud, and suddenly it’s Shujin thatlooks like an oil slick smeared across the world and Ryuji who looks solid and real and as shocked as Akira.
But then he grins with a smile full of daggers, because thepossibilities here are endless.
They test it out again; another touch from Ryuji has himshivering back onto the physical plane. They can do it three or four timesbefore Akira starts getting nauseous, and while he’s intangible, while he’s aphantom, no one can see him.
He walks through the school in wonder—almost everything ismuted but for a few people, bright and sparkling in his vision; Kawakami-senseiis one, and when he passes by her he catches an uneasy aura around her, full ofgrief and guilt. Kamoshida, on the other hand, feels neither of those things,and flares red and angry in Akira’s sight.
He doesn’t like that. Not at all, not with Ryuji behind himwith blood on his face, not with Suzui behind Takamaki, their eyes blank whitevoids, their mouths gaping snarls. There’s a bright core to Kamoshida a samethrobbing red as his aura, and something in Akira yearns to reach out and touchit.
So he does.
Kamoshida shudders at the touch, shoulders hunching in as helooks around nervously, and something flares bright-hot-angry in Akira’s veins. It’s not right, what he did, what he’sstill doing. It’s not right.
He curls his fingers around that bright hot core , and he yanks.
For an instant he can see two Kamoshidas, one solid and real, one wavering and intangible,and in that moment the three ghosts behind him strike.
Lightning crackles up and down Ryuji’s arms as he leapsforward, his fist impacting straight into the phantom-Kamoshida; Suzui andTakamaki are barely a second behind, Takamaki little more than a pillar offlames, Suzui a form barely held together with wind. They strike withconcentrated force hard enough that the tangible Kamoshida rocks back and away,Akira losing his grip on the core of Kamoshida’s being, and the phantomflickers out of existence.
That’s okay. He knows what to do now.
With Ryuji’s help and Takamaki and Suzui’s encouragement (“Callme Shiho,” Suzui murmurs to him shyly, smiling a little when Akira grins ather) he writes a card, a calling card detailing each and every one of Kamoshida’scrimes and sliding it under his office door.
He signs it, “The Phantom Thief of Hearts.”
As soon as he’s read it Ryuji grabs onto Akira, and Akiragrabs onto the core and lets Ryuji, Shiho, and Takamaki (“Ann!” she says withvicious satisfaction after she lands another blow, “I think at this point wecan go to Ann.”) get to work.
The phantom-Kamoshida is reeling by the time they’re done;the tangible Kamoshida is in tears. They leave it at that, unwilling to makehim a ghost and tie him to the school as well.
There’s an assembly three days after that. Kamoshida confesseshis crimes in front of the entire school, and that afternoon when Akira leaves,Ryuji follows like an untethered balloon grinning wide and wild and free.
They don’t stop there.
Shiho and Ann bring him rumors of a number of ghostsspiraling endlessly around an old ramshackle house; turns out it’s the abode ofone Madarame Ichiryusai, who (according to the ghosts, who to a one arecomprised of his old students) worked his students to literal death and stoletheir works for his own. The newest ghost, a tall, stick-thin boy whointroduces himself as Kitagawa, tries to make a case for his old sensei, butfaced with Ann, who is literally steaming, and Shiho, hair tossing in an unseenbreeze in her agitation, cuts himself short.
“He killed you,”Akira tells him, not ungently, not without sympathy. “I’m not here to getrevenge on him; I’m here to bring him to justice, for you and everyone else.”
Somehow he gains another ghost tethered to him, and Yusukebrings the north wind with him, an icy, howling gale that freezes the phantom-Madaramewhere he stands when all five Phantoms appear in front of him.
Madarame confesses his guilt on live television, andattributes his change of heart to the Phantom Thieves. Rumors spring up hereand there; eventually, Akira starts seeing more and more ghosts pop up at thecorners of his eyes, though it takes a long time for one to grow bold enough toapproach him on its own.
In his spare time now he flits through the metaphysicalreality with his new friends; the ghosts come to him, and he regains justice ontheir behalf. The rumors of the Phantom Thieves grow, and grow, and grow.
In June he meets the student council president of ShujinAcademy, one Niijima Makoto, who questions him fiercely; since she can’t proveanything, she lets him go, and he thinks nothing more of it until Shiho comesto him, frantic, and tells him that Niijima has gotten in way over her headwith an actual Mafioso.
It turns out that phantoms can do a hell of a number on aroom now; Ryuji shorts out the lights in delight, making them flickerominously, while Shiho flips cups and sends papers scattering everywhere.
It turns out that Akira can pass on his intangibility; hegrabs Niijima’s arm and drags her into the metaphysical with them. It turns outto be a fantastic move, as with her help the six of them bring Kaneshiro to hisknees.
He confesses everything to the police. The name of thePhantoms grow and grow, and this time Akira gains a friend that the rest of theworld can see.
He gains another not a month later; the ghost of one IsshikiWakaba materializes in front of him outside the café one day and all butdemands his help. It’s a bit of a struggle to break into his current guardian’shouse, but well worth it when he lays his hand on Sakura Futaba’s arm and letsher reunite with her mother, at least for a few moments. Isshiki-san had beenmurdered, it turns out, and Futaba had blamed herself and shut herself away inher guilt; this meeting goes a long way towards relieving her of it, enough sothat she shows up in the café later that evening to Sakura-san’s clearsurprise.
Between Futaba and Makoto, between Ryuji and Ann and Shihoand Yusuke, Akira’s days and nights are full; he’s content, if not happy, untilhe comes across a man that sends alarm bells blaring through his skull andmakes Isshiki-san howl in a way that sends chills up his spine.
Shido Masayoshi is surrounded by the ghosts of those he haskilled; Shido Masayoshi is the reason Akira is in Tokyo in the first place, renouncedby his parents and shunted into a city he doesn’t know for a crime he didn’tcommit.
Each and every one of Shido’s ghosts has heard of Akira’scoming. Each and every ghost cannot wait to see him fall.
Akira is so, so eager to oblige them.
#filed under:#canticle's (bi)centennial celebration#this was fun and also mostly written between the hours of 2-5 am lmao#Anonymous
92 notes
·
View notes
Text
Coming Down
Avengers X Reader, Natasha X Reader, Steve X Reader
A/N: I got a few different requests for a part 2 of Holding on For Dear Life, and thought the idea was awesome! So here it is! Part 2! Be careful, because it got really freaking dark!
Song: Coming Down by Five Finger Death Punch
Warnings: Angst, Drugs, Alcohol, Self-Harm, Possible Suicide (?), Swears, etc.
(DO NOT READ IF THESE SUBJECTS TRIGGER YOU! PLEASE! I’M SERIOUS!)
Word Count: 3,200ish (Holy crap!)
Part 1 // Part 3// Masterlist
It's caving in around me / What I thought was solid ground / I tried to look the other way / But I couldn't turn around…
It’s been a few months since my run-in with my old team. I thought that telling them how I felt would make me feel better, but I was wrong.
I felt worse.
I’d been kicked out of my roommate’s apartment, because I couldn’t pay the rent. I’d been banned from most bars. I was living in the homeless shelter that I used to volunteer at, or sleeping at the park. I had nobody, anymore. The drugs were getting worse, and so was the alcohol consumption.
Worst of all: I couldn’t numb my emotions anymore - and my abilities were starting to surface, again.
Using wasn’t cutting it. My abilities would surface every time I was feeling too emotional, and I kept leaving burnt handprints everywhere. I felt like a fucking kid – trying to hide my abilities, again. I was starting to spiral, and terrified of the person I had become. I’d stare in the mirror and see the shell of the woman that I used to be. The dead look in my y/e/c eyes, my uncut y/h/c hair, and my – once coveted – skin was paler than it used to be. I looked sick. I felt sick. I felt lonely. I felt…
I didn’t know what I was feeling. There were too many fucking emotions. It was like everything was building. I felt like a dam that was about to break from the pressure of the water building behind it. My walls were wearing thin, and I couldn’t escape it…
“Y/n.” I heard a familiar woman’s voice behind me, as I spent my last couple dollars on a hot dog stand that I used to frequent. It was Natasha. She looked good. Healthy, red hair blowing in the fall New York breeze. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to find you.”
“You’re a spy, Nat.” I took a bite of my hot dog, turning away from her and walking towards the shelter, “You know how to fucking find me. You just didn’t look hard enough.”
“Y/n, please.” Nat fell into step with me, “Come sit down with me. I’ll buy you some food.”
I looked at the hot dog I had spent my last few dollars on, and my stomach growled. This had been my first meal in the last 26 hours. Who knew when I would get to eat a good meal, again? “Fine, but I swear to god, if this turns into the shit that happened last time, I’m leaving.” I shoved my empty hand in the pocket of my coat, grasping my flask in comfort. “And I will take the food with me.” I added, finishing my hot dog.
She smiled, leading me to a small diner. I remember this place. The team used to frequent this place after long missions, because Tony knew the owners. I’ve never been here, before.
It's OK for you to hate me / For all the things I've done / I've made a few mistakes / But I'm not the only one…
“So,” She started once the waitress took our drink orders, “What the hell happened? The team told me that you left, but when we saw you at the club, you said they kicked you out?”
I’d forgotten that they told her that.
“Yup.” The waitress set my coffee in front of me, and I took my flask out of my pocket, pouring a little whiskey in it, “Figures that they tried to fucking blame me. I mean, it’s not like anybody else has ever made a mistake on the team.” I took a long pull from my flask, before screwing the cap back on and shoving it in my pocket. I’m too sober for this. “When we came back to the tower, after you had been shot, I tried to see you. I tried to apologize for being so stupid and falling for that trap. Nobody would let me see you, and nobody would let me apologize. They immediately shut me out.” I took a deep breath, a deep feeling of resentment rising along with the temperature of my hands.
Taking a sip from my spiked coffee, I continued, “It only took a few days before Steve came into my room and told me I had fifteen minutes to pack a bag and leave. I had a bag of clothes, a handful of dollars, and nowhere to go. I couldn’t get a proper job or place to live because SHIELD erased all of my public files. I, technically, don’t exist. I had a place to stay for a while, but I couldn’t pay rent so they kicked me out.”
Natasha’s eyes were wide. She looked shocked, and disappointed. “Wh-what? Where are you living? How do you have any money?”
“Do you really want to know the answers to these questions?” I looked her dead in the eye, hoping that I didn’t have to say it aloud. “I’m not a prostitute, or anything – not that I haven’t been close to giving in – but you won’t like the answer.” She just stared at me waiting to continue. “I live in the homeless shelter I used to volunteer at, and I sell drugs. Is that what you wanted to hear?” I was getting irate, at this point. “Poor Y/n: kicked out of the Avengers and is now New York slum!”
“Y/n, calm down.”
Was there ever any question / On how much I could take? / You kept feeding me your bullshit / Hoping I would break…
“Don’t tell me to calm down.” I growled, hands starting to shake. “I have every right to be fucking livid.” I chugged the rest of the coffee and grabbed the flask from my pocket, again – chugging the rest of that, as well. “You may not have contributed to my being kicked out, but you’re not so saintly, either. It’s not like you have ever shown any concern about me before trying to save me from a trap.” I gulped in a breath, tears pricking at my eyes. “That was why I was so heart-broken. The first time somebody actually gives a real shit about me, and you get sent into a coma.”
“We cared… care about you.” She pleaded, leaning forward. “I know we didn’t show it as well as we should have, but we did… we do.”
I shook my head, “You didn’t care until you all realized how fucked up I was.” I sniffled, using a napkin to wipe under my nose. “Especially, Steve. He didn’t give two shits about me unless he was horny and wanted to relieve some stress. Funny that he feels guilty about it, now.” I laughed darkly, feeling my hands start to heat up, again. “I was the sad, little girl looking for any form of human affection. I knew that nothing would ever come from it, but it was sort of humiliating getting ignored by him afterwards.”
“I didn’t know.” She shook her head. “Why didn’t you say anything?”
I stared at her. Is she for real? “Natasha. Are you fucking serious? I did tell you. You flat out ignored me.” I smelt smoke and looked down at my glowing hands. “Shit…” I took a deep breath, trying not to touch anything. “I fucking asked you if I could talk to you about something, and you looked so… uninterested in what I had to say. I poured my heart out, and you know what you did? You put your headphones in and asked me to go somewhere else. You said I was ‘bugging you with my childish drama’!”
Her eyebrows pulled together in confusion, “I didn’t know you were talking about Steve.”
I slammed my hand down on the table, branding my hot hand-print in the wood. “Did it fucking matter? I tried to fucking open up, and you shot me the fuck down.” The whole café stopped, staring at me. I couldn’t control my powers, anymore. The white-hot temperature of my hands started to move to my arms. “No. No. No.” I closed my eyes, trying to control my breathing.
Is there anybody out there? Is there anyone who cares? Is there anybody listening? Will they hear my final prayers?
“Y/n, you need to calm down. You’re scaring people.” Natasha hissed, fear in her voice.
My eyes shot open, tears falling, “I can’t fucking control it. I need to leave. I need-” The shrieking of the fire alarm caused me to jump up. My jacket had started to smoke. I ripped it off of me, throwing it on the floor and stomping on it. “Shit!”
People ran out of the building, recording on their phones as they ran out. My hands burst into flames. “Natasha, get out!” I didn’t want her to leave. I needed someone to help me. I needed someone to really care.
She ran out of the café, pulling her phone out of her pocket as she did so.
I fell to my knees as the fire spread over my body. It wasn’t uncomfortable. It was soothing. I didn’t realize how cold I had felt since I left. I had needed warmth. The flames started spreading around me, filling the café with smoke. I could hear the sounds of sirens. I could hear the people screaming to get back.
I’m a monster.
I watched as the clothes burned off my body, adding to the growing piles of ash on the floor. The whole building was in flames. The walls were staining black as the décor melted. I had completely destroyed the place. Somebody’s life was dedicated to this café. I destroyed it, the same way I had destroyed my family.
I let out a loud sob, lungs unable to fill with air. This is all my fault. I couldn’t control my emotions. I needed help.
I stood up, stumbling towards the front doors of the building. I need to get out of here. Tripping over the door frame, I fell onto the pavement, still completely engulfed in fire. “Help.” I couldn’t breathe. Is this an anxiety attack? I couldn’t move. I couldn’t breathe. The weight of the world was crushing me.
People were screaming, backing away from me in fear.
Suddenly, I was drowning. I sputtered, water filling my mouth and nose. What the fuck? The water was so powerful that it flipped me onto my back. I threw my hands up in fear, and the water suddenly stopped.
Opening my eyes, I saw the New York Fire Department, the NYPD, and the Avengers all standing there with a look of horror on their face. You’re a monster, their eyes screamed.
“Y/n?” Steve’s voice broke the silence. The flames still crackling behind me as the building burned down.
I looked down at my state of undress, covering myself with my arms. One of the officers immediately threw a blanket at me, so I could wrap it around my naked body. I muttered a small thanks, standing up.
Run.
I tried, but Steve lunged forward, pulling me back, “You can’t leave.”
I attempted to push him off of me, but he had super soldier strength. “Let go! Stop!” Tears streamed down my face. “Just let me go! Please!”
“I can’t do that, Y/n.” Steve’s voice was right next to my ear, “You burned down a building. You need to be contained.”
They want to lock me up?!
I stopped struggling, sagging in defeat. I deserved to be locked up. “Okay.” A surge of cold went through me, causing me to feel numb. Finally. Numb. “Let’s go.”
When he was sure I wasn’t going to run, he put me down. He kept one hand attached to my arm, leading me to a black SUV and pushing me in. Clint, Natasha, Steve, and Wanda rode with me. I was in the middle of the back seat like a prisoner. I stared straight ahead, mentally preparing myself to be back in the tower. I knew that was where we were headed, because it was the only facility with a cell block that could hold enhanced people.
When the tower came into view, my heart was beating faster and faster - as the anxiety of what was to come gripped me tighter.
Step away from the ledge / I'm coming down…
When we arrived in the garage of the tower, I looked over to Natasha. She was the only one of the group who hadn’t looked at me like I committed a felony. Yet. “Do you think I can clean myself up and get some clothes, before you all lock me up?”
She nodded, jumping out of the SUV and walking ahead of us.
“She can clean up and change in my bathroom.” Tony said, appearing in front of us as we walked into the building. “Shower, change, and someone will come and fetch you.” He quickly turned and strode away.
We rode the elevator in silence. That was, until Steve opened his fucking mouth. “Why did you burn down that building, Y/n? Was it for attention? Because you got it.”
I whipped my head around to face him. “For attention? Are you fucking kidding me?”
He shrugged, “We don’t really know, at this point. You keep doing all of this self-destructive behavior for attention, so why would this be any different?”
Anger was practically radiating off me in waves of heat, “You really want to piss off the ‘attention-seeking’ girl who just burned a building to the ground while stuck in an elevator, Steve?”
He rolled his eyes, “Whatever.”
I was seething. How dare he think I was trying to be ‘attention-seeking’? I was trying to mind my own fucking business, today! “Fuck you, Steve.” I rolled my eyes. “Wait… I already did. Wasn’t that great, to be honest.” I was trying anything to insult him, at that point.
“Wait, what?” Clint turned and looked at Steve in shock. “You guys slept together?”
The doors to the elevator opened to Tony’s floor and I stomped out of the elevator. “I’m sure he will tell you all about how I probably was attention seeking and desperate.” I turned, glaring at Steve, “I mean, that’s what you told Bucky, anyways. I heard you fucking talk about it to him. You forgot to mention, though, how you knocked on my door. Every time.”
His face was red with embarrassment and anger, and he turned and walked back into the elevator. “Go get cleaned up and dressed so we can finally arrest your sorry ass.”
I practically ran to Tony’s bathroom, slamming the door. That asshole… I flipped on the shower, throwing the blanket in the corner of the room. I put my hands on the counter-top where his sinks were, trying to calm myself. I looked up, barely recognizing myself. I had soot all over my face, my hair was tangled and dirty, and I was getting too skinny. I looked well on my way to death.
The anger that was rushing through me diminished – an aching in my chest was all that was left. They were about to lock me up. Who knows when they would let me out, because they probably saw me as a monster. Just like I see myself. I slumped, staring at the sink as the tears falling from my eyes dripped down into the little drops of condensation collecting from the shower being on.
My head was pounding, so I looked in the medicine cabinet behind the mirror for pain reliever. What’s this? I looked at the random pill bottle with Tony’s name on it. Oxy? Oh, thank god. At least I don’t have to be sober where I’m going. I opened the bottle with shaky hands, but dropped the pills all over the floor. “Shit.” I muttered, kneeling on the ground to pick them up, piling them in my hands.
When I had them all in my hand, I sat with my back against the shower door – staring at the pills.
A small voice in the back of my head was whispering, you could do it… I could do what? What was that voice telling me to do? It would stop the hurt. What would? Did the whispering in my head want me to take more?
It's caving in around me / It's tearing me apart / It's all coming down around me / Does anyone. Anyone. Care at all?
I could do it. I could listen to the voice. It wasn’t like there was anybody who really gave a shit. The Avengers all kicked me out like I was garbage. What about Natasha? She thought you left. She tried to talk to you today! Yeah, she did. Was that out of real concern, though? She never gave a shit before. None of them did. They didn’t care about me, until they knew they fucked up my life.
Should you really blame them for your life getting fucked up, though? After all, you’re the unlikable one. You are the one that has the problem. They would be totally fine without you. They won’t care. They’re going to lock you away, anyways, and probably keep you in there. Might as well die on your terms.
Die? Could I do that? Could I really kill myself?
Just do it. Do it. DO IT! JUST FUCKING DO IT, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT!
“Okay!” I let out a terrified sob. The sinister voice was right. I was worthless. I should just end the misery.
I cupped my hand, opened my mouth, and shoved the handful of Oxy in my mouth.
The taste was immediately bitter. The little, dry pills stuck to my mouth and back of my throat – causing me to gag. I crawled into the shower, tears in my eyes mixing with the scalding water, and used the stream to swallow down the pills.
I sat down in the corner of the shower, waiting. The shaking in my hands started to get worse as my anxiety rose.
Will this hurt? Should I really be doing this?
After a while, I felt cold. My body temperature felt like it was fluctuating from hot to cold, too quickly. It started in the tips of my fingers and toes, spreading to the rest of my body. My head felt like I was floating, but I started to feel an intense heat in my stomach and throat. It was like my stomach was starting to spasm. I gagged, and the bile shot out across my legs and into the drain.
Oh, god. What have I done?
I couldn’t breathe, because the vomit just wouldn’t stop. My head was starting to feel fuzzy, and I slid sideways. The cool of the tiles soothing my hot cheek.
What did I do?!
“Miss Y/L/N, I see a fluctuation in your vital signs? Shall I notify Med Bay?” FRIDAY’s voice came from somewhere.
I couldn’t answer.
I couldn’t feel.
I couldn’t breathe.
“Y/N!” Someone shouted from the doorway, voice filled with terror. “Somebody, help!”
I felt hands on my body, probably pulling my vomit covered form from the shower. I didn’t know.
Am I going to live? Am I going to die?
The black spots in my blurred vision grew and grew.
Then, the darkness overtook me.
I could never be / What you want me to / You pulled me under / To save yourself / You will never see / What's inside of me / I pulled you under just to save myself…
________________________________________
(It’s mean to leave you like this, so there might possibly be a part 3! *wink*)
Permanent Tags: (Let me know if you want to join the party!)
@luckynumber1213
Tags:
@fandayo
#avengers x reader#avengers reader insert#steve x reader#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers#natasha x reader#nat x reader#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha romanov x reader#angst#self harm#suicide#really freaking dark#coming down
282 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
headgehug
who up hedging their hog?
kathleen1hackleynorman
FREEDOM
dezaia
✨Dezaia
staceyknipe
nowhere, cape town
