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haitaniapologist · 2 years

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ALL THE LITTLE STARS OF MY HEART.

pairings — knight! kakucho x maid! female reader.

genre — fluff, and a tiny bit of angst because of the appeal of a good drama in a period piece.

warnings — an unhealthy obsession with using dashes instead of commas, sentences with strange structures and grammatical errors because english isn’t my first language, a bit of suggestiveness at the end but no actual smut, teeth-rotting fluff, yearning, insecurities, typical society rules of the regency.

word counting — 11.6k

tagging — @tooweirdforyou @aetheriaess @etheralyonn @lonnie19 @sincerelyraylene @chronic-claire-universe @sanzu-s @aqualesha @winterv-black @softbajis @withlovetengen @mianavs @markedsweetly @wakagucciii

notes — absolutely crying because of this. first of all, this beautiful au belongs to my dear aria (@/aetheriaess), so all the credits goes to her for this amazing idea of kakucho being a knight. also, another big thanks for her, hal and em, who are my guinea pigs and are always listening to my late night ideas and reading my snippets (i love you guys, really). as for the ages, everyone is 21+, but i didn't think too much about it. enjoy!

likes, comments, reblogs, asks, everything is appreacited !!!

it all started when kakucho first laid his good eye upon you.

he remembered it to be a sunny day. the castle was buzzing with servants running around, making preparations. it was the day izana, his king, was going to welcome yuzuha and hakkai shiba — the exiled siblings of the new king of black dragon — in tenjiku, and give hakkai a dukedom. the decision had been made as soon as a letter from yuzuha arrived in the kingdom, seeking refuge from the claws of her tyrant brother. kakucho was in the meeting when it was decided that they would now be new subjects of the kurokawa dynasty. yuzuha's wisdom and hakkai's strength would only benefit the kingdom and its alliances.

as the head of the royal guard, kakucho was in charge of overviewing the safety of the castle. he knew taiju shiba — and he wouldn't be surprised if the now king would try an attack against his siblings. the knight didn't know how the relationship between the three were, but from what he read from yuzuha's letter, it wasn't good.

he sighed, hearing a guard announce the arrival of the shibas. he was the one supposed to escort the siblings to the meeting room where izana was expecting them, alongside some counselors and his fellow knights.

approaching the carriage, kakucho noted that it had another person that they weren't expecting — he could see the silhouette of someone he seemed as a woman, and when he opened the door to help yuzuha get out of it, it was like someone put a spell on him.

you bewitched kakucho at first glance.

he blinked his eyes slowly, thinking, at first, that you were a mirage. it could only be. you were perfect. from the way your hair framed your face, or the way your cheeks flushed or how your lips opened slightly by the intensity of his gaze — kakucho was sure you were the embodiment of the goddess of beauty, made only for him to look at.

yuzuha's smile went unnoticed by him, but not from you. “oh, kakucho!” his trance was cut by the new duchess's honeyed voice, and he — without wanting to — tore his eyes away from your frame, looking at the siblings. hakkai was taller than he remembered, and kakucho was sure he would be a good knight. “i'm sorry for not warning you and king izana about y/n coming with us.” she apologized, and kakucho saw how you lowered your gaze. “she's my personal maid, and i couldn't leave her there. i hope you’ll understand.”

he nodded, helping lady yuzuha to get out of the carriage after hakkai did. “of course, your grace. his highness did the same for me once.” he murmured, and yuzuha gave him a grateful smile. when the lady was already on the ground and gushing over her younger brother, kakucho's attention returned to you. “my lady.” he offered you his gloved hand, and the knight cursed the formality of the situation. what he wouldn't give to feel your skin touching his?

you took it with clear embarrassment shining on your face, and that only made kakucho's heart beat even more quickly.

“thank you, good sir.” your smile, even if it was a small one, could rival the full moon in kakucho's eyes. before you could take your hand away from his, he lifted it to his lips and pressed a chaste kiss there.

“call me kakucho, lady y/n.”

—

it was easy to be lady yuzuha's personal maid.

she wasn't snobby and arrogant like the other nobles you knew and, knowing her since childhood, you two were more sisters than anything else. she always made sure that you were comfortable in the places she took you, and looked after you like she did with hakkai — and used to do with taiju. it still saddened you to think about what happened to the shiba siblings. you four grew up together in the shiba state, all laughing and pranking the adults, until it was just you, yuzuha and hakkai — with taiju becoming more closed off and aggressive. there were many times you helped your lady to clean her face after she protected hakkai from her older brother's rage, and your heart ached for them.

but you were just a maid, and you could only watch from the sidelines.

“y/n, what do you think about the lilac dress for the ball?” yuzuha asked while you brushed her light brown hair, and wondered what lilac dress she was talking about, as she had a ton of them. “to match the king's eyes, to show we're loyal to him now.”

king izana was kind. you never met a royal as kind as him, and you wondered what difficulties he endured to be like that. “you have a ton of lilac dresses, my lady. i think that light one you ordered from lord takashi would be perfect.” you offered your opinion, finishing to style her hair the way she liked.

yuzuha hummed. “it is really a beautiful dress, is it not?” she got up from her seat, and you bowed your head, soon looking back at her. “but what about you, y/n? what color will you use?”

you felt your cheeks heating up. “m-me, my lady?” you usually didn't go to balls, as a staff member. taiju would probably have your head if you appeared in one of his, and even though you always dreamed of wearing a beautiful gown and style your hair with precious gems like you did with yuzuha, it wasn't your place to do so.

you were just a maid, a maid that was lucky to call her lady a friend.

“yes, you.” yuzuha answered, already walking to her wardrobe. “maybe you should wear light pink, y/n. it matches kakucho's red eye, and everyone will know you're looking for a husband.” she started to search for a pink dress — the color of the unmarried ladies looking for a husband — but you stopped paying attention to her when she mentioned kakucho.

the head of the royal guard was the only thing you thought of, and yuzuha knew that very well. since the day you arrived in tenjiku he haunted your mind and dreams — his kindness was something you never saw before, and he was beautiful, with his black hair and two colored eyes. you've heard some other staff making fun of him because of his scar, but that wasn't a hindrance for you developing feelings for him — on the contrary, you wanted nothing more than to stroke it and pamper his face with kisses. it was what he deserved, though you wished to know the story behind it.

but kakucho had a bright future as a royal guard, and you were just a maid. what you could offer to him?

nothing, and that thought made your heart break every time you were in his presence.

“look, y/n, i think this dre—” your lady's voice was cut by a knock on the door, and you promptly went to open it, being met with the son of the head cook. you smiled down at him, and he handed you a paper.

“your secret admirer asked me to deliver this for you, lady y/n!” the young boy chirped, soon running down the hall. you stayed dumbfounded at the door, not believing what he was saying.

yuzuha rushed you inside the room again, smiling widely at you. “someone has a secret admirer!” she hummed happily, and you handed the letter to her. you didn't know how to read — the shiba patriarch made sure that none of his servants knew how to write or read, too afraid that they would riot against his violent ways — but now, you wished you did.

“dearest y/n,

words can't describe what i feel you for. when you smile at me, i feel like the stars are beaming down at me.

i wish that someday you'll look at me as more than a friend.

until that day, i'll love you in the shadows.

your secret admirer.”

yuzuha giggled after she finished reading it, and your cheeks were so hot that you wondered if you had a fever. who could it be? you didn't know you had caught the eyes of someone in the castle and, deep down, you wished it was kakucho. yuzuha gave you a knowing look, giving you back the letter. “i know what you're thinking. i am sure it is kakucho, you don't need to worry.”

“lady yuzuha! you can't say things like that.” you chastised her, but your heart was hammering inside your chest. you heard your lady laughing at you, and you blushed even more. “i wish i knew how to write so i could write an answer for them.”

yuzuha nodded. “i am sure kakucho would appreciate it.” she winked at you, making you sit at her bed while she chose a dress for you to wear the ball. you just whined at her words — you couldn't let your hopes high. you shouldn't. kakucho only saw you as a friend.

“how can you be so sure it's him, my lady?” you asked, eyeing her and the amount of dresses she was taking out of her wardrobe, suspiciously.

she handed you a pink dress that she never used before, and you basked at how beautiful it looked with the embroidery and pearls. “because i know it, y/n.” you watched as she started to look for jewelry to complement it. “don't you trust me?”

even though yuzuha had put you in so much trouble in the past, you would trust her to guide you to the ends of earth. “of course i do.”

“then ask him to tutor you with reading and writing, so you can write a response for your secret admirer.”

—

kakucho was restless.

even since he paid the cook's son to deliver you the letter, he couldn't concentrate on anything else. did you like it? did you know it was him or he still had the mystery element?

at first, he was slightly against the idea.

it was ran who suggested it, too annoyed with kakucho's endless pinning after you. it was clear that you were in love with him too, but kakucho was always dwelling in his hatred for his appearance, thinking that you deserve someone better than him, that he never noticed how your eyes lighted up with love and adoration every time he entered a room you were in. but it didn't pass unnoticed by ran — and rindou, and mochi, and mucho and their king too.

the knight sighed for the nth time, his good eye frantically looking for a sign of you. he hadn't seen you since last night, at dinner, and while he knew you were tending to yuzuha's needs, it was time for you both to get breakfast.

“why is my sister and y/n taking so long?” he heard hakkai complain even as the chats of the other knights filled the room, and he almost nodded in agreement. “and his highness is late too.” hakkai murmured, and he gave him a small smile. it was that time of the year again, and kakucho knew his king was mourning the death of his brother.

but before he could answer his new friend, you and yuzuha entered the door, your lady's arm intertwined with his king's. kakucho's eyes were in your face as soon as he got a glimpse of your eyes, and he noticed how flushed your cheeks were, making you look even more beautiful. was it because of his letter?

and you were effortlessly beautiful, too.

you sat in front of him, and it took everything of kakucho to not keep his eyes glued in your form. to drink in the way your hair was styled, or the amount of skin your simple dress cut showed, or how your eyes were still glistening with sleep. izana's voice, saying they were allowed to eat, took him of his daydreams and he began to eat his breakfast.

he noticed that you weren't eating as much as you usually did, and that worried him. did you not like his letter? of course, you didn't know it was him, but did they make you uncomfortable? he didn't wish for that. it was ran's ideas, saying it was good for him to express his feelings on a paper.

you smiled at him, and kakucho cursed inside his head when you noticed him staring at you. he smiled back, turning his attention to what his king was saying, failing to notice the faint blush of your cheeks. but before he could engage in the conversation near him, he heard your voice.

“do you know how to write, kakucho?” you asked with uncertainty in your voice. of course he knew how to read and write — izana wasn't like yuzuha’s and hakkai's father. he was a better boss and king than the ones you ever saw.

your question took him by surprise. “i do, lady y/n.” you adored the way your name left his lips. “i hope i'm not crossing any boundaries, but why do you ask?”

you felt your cheeks warm, too embarrassed to admit you didn't know how to. but the wink yuzuha gave you was what you needed to have enough courage to follow through with her plan. “you see, i… do not know.” your eyes fell down to your plate the moment you saw sadness pouring from his good eye. “and i've received a letter today that i want to answer, but i don't know how.”

oh. so someone else was reading them for you — kakucho knew it wasn’t a good plan.

the few moments before kakucho answered were too much for you, and you quickly added. “i've asked my lady to help me, but she's too busy with his highness because of the festivities, and she said you have a wonderful lettering.” returning your eyes to kakucho, your heart raced at the sight of his flushed face. “and i was hoping you could help me, if it isn't too bothersome.”

it was his dream coming true.

of course, his blood was still boiling with anger to know how mistreated you were by yuzuha and hakkai’s father — you were a precious gem in kakucho’s eyes, and you only deserved to be treated like royalty. as much as he wanted to know more of your past, kakucho knew he was going to take his horse and ride to black dragon, just to teach taiju a lesson about how to treat his staff. but the way you blinked at him, expecting his answer, ground him, and he knew you wouldn’t like it if he did that — so he would take the opportunity the gods were giving him to be closer to you with open hands. kakucho smiled, and he wished you wouldn't find it too horrendous. “i would love to help you, my lady.” the smile you gave him was going to be kakucho’s fuel for the rest of his day. “just say when you have free time.”

you opened your mouth to speak, but yuzuha’s voice beat yours. “oh, kakucho! i was just speaking with his highness and we just decided to give a day off for you two!” her voice was too sweet, and he hoped you didn’t see how izana winked knowingly at him. “you two can even spend the day together, isn’t it wonderful?”

you blushed under your lady’s words, and cursed having such a close friendship with her. you loved yuzuha, you really did, but when she put something on her mind — that being playing matchmaker for you — she wouldn’t back off. “if it isn’t a bother for him, my lady. kakucho have a lot of duties besides being the head of the knights.”

it was the time of the king to smile at you, and you noticed how kakucho squirmed on his seat. he probably had a lot to do and your lady’s idea was just something that was going to disturb him. “nonsense, lady y/n. your company would never be a bother for him.”

kakucho gave you a forced smile, knowing that all his friends were with their attention glued to the scene in front of them. “then it’s settled! but let's finish our breakfasts first. hakkai needs to eat before his training.”

kakucho’s eyes softened seeing you giggling because of yuzuha’s words. it was going to be a long day, but if he was going to spend it with you, he knew it would be one of his favorites.

—

the breeze was warm, but your body was hotter than normal.

it was because of kakucho's proximity, of course. yuzuha suggested that you two take a stroll in the gardens — it was a lovely day, and she knew how much you enjoyed seeing the flowers. it reminded you of your lady mother, who used to be yuzuha's mother's personal maid before both of them died, just like yourself is now to the only shiba daughter. it was a tradition, it seemed, but you never thought about being anything else.

“you said your mother liked flowers?” kakucho asked curiously. he didn't remember his parents — they died in a carriage accident many years ago, and he was taken by the king to be the squire of the late captain of the royal knights — but the love that dripped from your voice when you spoke about your mother made him wanting to remember, so he could have something in common with you.

you nodded shyly, averting your eyes to the path before you. “she was the one responsible for the design of the gardens in the shiba's state.” your mother had been a kind woman. your father was a knight, too, and he died in a war before you could have memories of him — but you never cared much about it. your mother's love was enough for you. “they used to be my favorite place back there.” you stopped in front of a bunch of hyacinths, remembering how your mother used them to adorn yours and yuzuha's hair with such flowers when you were children.

kakucho noticed the longing in your eyes looking at the flowers, and he promptly kneeled to take one off the flowerbed — he knew the gardener was going to be mad at him, but the way you looked at him while he placed it behind your ear was enough for him to bear any punishment. his hand dwelled more than it was necessary in your cheek, and kakucho felt how it warmed under his fingertips. “i hope you grew to enjoy our gardens as you did back in black dragon, my lady.”

he was too close, and you didn't know what to do. you couldn't understand who said he wasn't beautiful — under the sunlight and with his hair down, kakucho looked like a mythical hero, and you wished to be his damsel. you hoped the hyacinth, which was delicately placed behind your ear, was proof that kakucho hoped that too. “your company is enough to make me enjoy them more than i used to at my homeland, my lord.” you smiled sheepishly at him, intertwining your arms again. “can we go to the library? the sun is starting to be too hot for my liking."

he could only nod, starting to walk a path he knew by heart. kakucho was no lord — he couldn't grant you everything he deemed you to be worthy of, but he knew he was willing to go to the ends of earth just to make you happy. that feeling was consuming him, and you didn't even know how much he loved you. just a glimpse of your figure was what ignited him to train harder, to make his job better — and having your smile directed at him was what he aimed to earn every day.

the walk to the library was filled with small talk.

you both took the opportunity to know each other better. you two didn’t had the right set of circumstances before to be alone like that — you were always with yuzuha, and, if kakucho wasn’t with the king, he was with his friends. both of them made you nervous. the king, for obvious reasons. although king izana was a kind man, you were too low-born to stand at his side as if you were equals. and the knights — well, they were too intimidating. ran, mucho and mochi were too tall and had scary faces. rindou was quieter and you two probably had a more compatible personality, but the scowl that he wore on his face always made you uneasy.

and kakucho, well. he was too in love with you to function like a decent human being, and he didn’t want his friends to make fun of him. his face, too, was an obstacle — he knew what was said about him behind his back, and kakucho didn’t want to taint your reputation by being seen with you.

the smile you gave him when he helped you in your seat calmed his nerves, and you looked oddly cute being surrounded by the books he brought for you to practice your reading and writing.

“which things do you know how to write?” kakucho asked, trying to not look at the exposed skin of your clavicle. why dresses need to have such necklines?

you pouted, ashamed of your poor skills. “my name and surname, and basic things.” you admitted, writing it in a blank paper. “it was what my mom managed to teach me before lord shiba discovered.” you still remembered how he punished her — you never heard such screams in your entire life, but your mother always said that she would do it again and again.

kakucho watched in awe as how your hand did the movements to show him what you knew. “i don’t think you need help with lettering, my lady. yours is beautiful.”

you felt your face warm at his words. “but i want to write an answer to my secret admirer, kakucho. how can i do it if i don’t know how to write my thoughts?”

widen eyes watched mesmerized how kakucho's cheeks gained a reddish color, and you almost thought that he was having a fever. but before you could say something, he regained his composure. not in his wildest dreams he thought of receiving an answer from you. “maybe i can… maybe i can write down your thoughts and you copy them.”

you nodded excitedly while he took the pen from your hands.

—

“my dearest secret admirer,

why do you want to hide in the shadows? i am no dog, therefore i do not bite. so do not be afraid of expressing your love for me — it'll be my greatest honor to receive your affections in daylight.

waiting for your response,

the holder of your affections.”

“she’s more poetic than us.” rindou murmured, his glasses in the tip of his nose. kakucho watched as you asked the cook’s son to deliver your paper to the person who asked him to deliver one to you that morning, paying him with a small coin and a kiss on his cheek, before meeting his friends again. he told them everything that happened, but, seeing the mischief glint hooding izana’s and ran’s eyes, he wished he hadn’t. mochi and mucho weren’t holders of a strong opinion towards his affections, and rindou was the reader of their little group, so kakucho turned to him for inspiration. “are you really sure she doesn’t know how to read?”

“absolutely.” he answered in a heartbeat, good eye still reading and reading what you wrote down with his guidance. “she probably heard poems from lady yuzuha.”

rindou nodded. “then, what you want to write?”

ran giggled and kakucho swore he was on the verge of committing a crime.

“do not even start.” kakucho cut ran and izana off, knowing what they're about to do — imitating the both of you, with exaggerated gestures and change of voices.

mucho’s voice resounded inside the room. “do not get me wrong, kakucho.” the younger man was curious to know what his quiet and strong friend had to say, because he was less inclined to tease him. “this pining of you and lady y/n, as much as it’s sweet to see, it is also infuriating.” kakucho saw how everyone murmured their agreement to mucho’s words.

“it is obvious that she loves you, my friend. why are you so insecure?” izana asked, his hand resting on his childhood friend’s shoulder. it was obvious as to why kakucho was insecure, and his king knew that like the palm of his hand — but izana found his reasons to be bullshit, as you never, not once, said anything bad about his appearance. maybe about his habit of not cleaning his boots when he was in a rush to get back to the castle when he was outside, but never about his appearance.

kakucho sighed. “it’s easy for you to say, my king.” his good eyes scanned the room while rindou wrote some of his ideas down. “to any of you, actually.”

“care to elaborate, my dear kakucho?” ran asked, and the younger man knew it was a genuine question.

he took a deep breath. kakucho was about to share one of his deepest insecurities, that only izana knew about. “all of you come from great families. ran is a duke, mucho’s a viscount and mochi is a baron. rindou the brother of a duke, izana is king and i’m an orphan.” even if his parents were alive, he wouldn’t have any title of nobility, or a state. “i’m just the captain of the royal guards, i can not offer to y/n what she deserves.”

“and what does she deserve?” it was mochi’s time to ask.

“everything.” kakucho rested his forehead on his palm, too embarrassed to look at his friends. “she deserves to be the lady of an important household, to have a beautiful summer state to raise our children, she deserves to have the prettiest jewels and the most comfortable pillows. you all can offer that to her, and what can i?” nothing. he couldn’t offer you anything he said.

too lost in his own head, kakucho didn’t notice the way an idea seemed to pop inside izana’s head, but everyone else did.

“the next letter is ready.” rindou announced, a smug smile on his face.

“my dearest y/n,

you deserve nothing more than the whole world. you’re the most precious jewel to have graced earth, and you only deserve things that suit such a title.

and i can’t give them to you yet, that is why i will stay in the shadows.

but when i managed to do so, expect my love to rain upon you like water rains upon the hyacinths in the garden.

until then, i hope my letters will be able to show how deep my feelings are.

your secret admirer.”

—

you and kakucho maintained your little meetings every day until the ball. he would make the cook’s son deliver your letter in the morning, and he would help you write an answer before dinner, and receive it at midnight. you didn’t seem to suspect it was him, but lady yuzuha always smiled too sweetly at him every morning when you gushed to her about what your secret admirer had to say that morning.

but the ball and the tourney in honor of prince shinichiro’s memory was coming, and both you and kakucho had many duties to attend — but that didn’t mean you stopped seeing each other. he always made sure to leave a hyacinth in the door of your room, and you were always packing a snack for him when he had duty outside the palace walls. it was those little interactions that made the love you both felt for each other to flourish even more.

yuzuha became your main source of help when writing answers to your secret admirer, and it was good to have the surprise element again, kakucho thought. he missed spending more time in your company, but the patrols around the castle were taking more of his time than they used to be, and he knew it was izana’s paranoia speaking for him. it had been ten years since prince shinichiro died in a battlefield — ten years that the region lost one of its more honourable men, and someone kakucho admired like he never did to no one. maybe prince shinichiro’s friends — king takeomi from brahman and his two counselors, count wakasa and duke benkei — were on the same level, but he wasn’t as close to them as he was to shinichiro. he and izana were brothers, so that meant that kakucho was an honorary member of their little family.

however, shinichiro’s body was now six feet under the ground, and kakucho had to deal with patrolling the castle walls because izana thought burglars would try to steal his brother’s favorites and rare flowers — blue roses.

kakucho couldn’t wait to win the tourney and crown you queen of love and beauty. you never attend a tourney like that before and, in past years, kakucho used to crown mucho’s younger sister just to tease ran. maybe all the teasing he was receiving was payback for that time, but ran changed since she left tenjiku to be princess emma’s companion, in toman, the neighboring kingdom. kakucho couldn’t wait to put the crown of blue roses in your locks and proclaim his love for you.

and just like kakucho, you couldn’t help and feel anxious — but for the ball. you never went to one before, and yuzuha was gushing over you like a mother would do to her unmarried daughter. a new dress, new jewels, people to do your hair. your lady wanted you to be the most beautiful woman that ever set foot in kurowaka’s ballroom, and she would do anything.

poor hakkai was her guinea pig, helping you to learn how to dance properly and how you should act in front of unwanted men. there would be a lot of creepy lords that would try to woo you, and she was ready to show you how to decline them with grace, but crushing their egos while doing so.

but you wanted nothing more than to just dance with kakucho, if he danced, that is.

—

to say you were nervous was a lie.

you were almost exploding, but yuzuha’s arm, intertwined with yours, and hakkai’s looming presence behind you two, was a reminder that you would never be alone.

when your lady said you were going to be the most beautiful lady that ballroom ever saw, you weren’t expecting how you were looking. your pink embroidered dress was something that you could never afford in your life, made by the hands of yuzuha’s — and the whole region — favorite stylist: lord takashi mitsuya. he really outdid himself with the piece you were wearing, and the jewels the king presented to you were more than you could even ask for: a gold necklace and tiara, with pearls and rose quartzes being the gems adorning it. yuzuha even said she was sure kakucho was the one who chose it, but you couldn’t believe her. it was just a king gift of the king, since that was your first ball. you hair was made to the style of the fashion, with curls hanging on each side of your face, but the rest of your hair was pulled in an intricately-made bun. the gloves you were wearing were made of the finest silk, white as a snowy day, and your heels were more comfortable than you thought they would be.

it was too much, but you couldn’t help but giggle like a child when you entered the ballroom. it was beautifully decorated — courtesy of yuzuha’s female gaze, king izana said. the room was decorated with light pink hyacinths and blue roses, lit by the yellow lights of the candles, and it was the most beautiful room you ever saw in your entire life.

but the first person you noticed was kakucho.

he stood tall at the side of the king, wearing a white blouse and the black suit men his age were supposed to, his hair loose and perfectly styled to the back. he looked like royalty, and you could spend the whole evening just looking at him. you averted your eyes to yuzuha’s form as soon as you saw kakucho looking back at you.

kakucho’s heart missed a beat when he saw you.

you were more beautiful than normal and, as always, fashionably late, accompanying lady yuzuha. he didn’t even have words to describe your beauty — if he thought that you, with simple dresses and hairstyles, was the embodiment of the goddess of beauty, now you were her. you came down from the heavens, and he wasn’t worth enough to be graced with your sight.

izana pushed him in your direction, winking at him. “go on, kakucho. dance with her, like you always dreamed about.”

but he wasn’t the only man looking at you. you had almost a line of lords wanting to speak and dance with you, and hakkai was scaring them off. you seemed overwhelmed with all the attention, and he saw how yuzuha was trying her best to calm you. but he was a familiar face, and he noticed how your features relaxed when he got near you. “may i…” he started to say, before a rude voice interrupted him.

“may i have this dance, lady y/n?” the voice belonged to choji, a low ranked knight that kakucho always needed to put in his place.

with a defeated sigh, kakucho was ready to leave — how could you not accept choji’s invitation? he saw you two talking before, and it seemed you were good friends. and he looked much more in place inside the ballroom, with fancy clothes and hair styled back, than kakucho could ever look.

“i think sir kakucho asked me first, choji. i am sorry.” you smiled apologetically at him, and kakucho, even in his shocked state, managed to extend his hand to you, and you took it tightly.

you two reached the dance floor in a comfortable silence — kakucho still stunned that you wanted to dance with him, and your heart hammering from you sudden boost of confidence — and you felt kakucho’s warm hand positioned in your higher back, where the dress fabric didn’t cover, while one of yours was on his clothed shoulder, the other being held by him in the position of the dance.

the music started, and it was like it was only you and kakucho in the room.

your eyes were glued on his, and his on yours, and even when you were on your back, you still turned your head so you wouldn’t break eye contact. it was intense, and you felt as if you were looking at a distant star. you two were in an intimate position, the dance made exclusively to lovers, and you could tell apart the shades of red that his good eye had.

kakucho was the most beautiful man you ever saw, and the way he was holding you — gentle, but possessively tight still — made your heart hammer in your ribcage. you found yourself facing him again after a spin, and the smile he gave you ignited a flame inside your heart.

you liked his smile. it showed how happy he was to be alive.

“you look beautiful tonight.” he managed to say, before the music ended. “another one, lady y/n?”

you nodded, smiling at him, getting in formation again. it was a more lively dance, more suited to friends or family, but you didn’t care. you were having so much fun dancing with kakucho, and you didn’t even notice when the typical five dances that a lady should dance in a night went by.

before you two could engage in the sixth, you heard yuzuha calling you.

“you’ve already danced five times, y/n!” she scolded you, but her tone was more lightweight than angry. “or does that mean kakucho wants to be your husband?” your lady wiggled her eyebrows, and both you and kakucho blushed at her implications. “i am just joking. but i think you should drink something and eat a bit, y/n. i’ll return her soon, my dear kakucho!”

you waved at the knight, a lovestruck smile adorning your lips, while you followed your lady — who was looking down fondly at you. she was happy to see you having so much fun. you deserved only such things in life, after all the hardships you went through. losing your mother, having her father as a boss, and being treated like scum by the other staff because of your mother’s “treason” — she did nothing more than just disagree with what lord shiba and taiju were planning.

kakucho soon found himself surrounded by his friends, all of them asking things about you.

how was the dance? what did you two chat about? is her skin as soft as you thought it was? you two danced five times, does that mean you’re courting her? when it’s the wedding?

he tried to answer his friends with his sincere thoughts, but somethings were only for him to know — how good your body felt pressed against his, how your hand held his tenderly, how you smelled so intoxicating that kakucho was sure no other smell could compare, not even fresh jelly tarts. and his eyes never left you. no other man was bothering you for dances or useless chats — the five dances were proof enough that kakucho already had his eyes on you. but that wasn’t his plan, to begin with. just one dance would be enough, but you two were like magnets.

and his heart was aching for not being in your presence for too long.

he excused himself and made his way to where you and yuzuha were at. kakucho didn’t care if he was going to just stand there and listen to you two chatting — he needed to feel your warmth or just hear how cutely you laughed, and that was enough. he couldn’t ask for more, and he was happy with anything you would offer to him.

your heart, too, was aching to not be in his presence, and yuzuha noticed how your eyes would drift from the delicacies to where kakucho was standing. you couldn’t help yourself — he was extremely good-looking wearing a suit instead of his typical armor, and you didn’t want any other woman to look at him and reach the same conclusion. and you knew they did, and you hoped the five dances were enough to keep them away from him.

smiling knowingly at yuzuha, you waved at her when another lord asked for a dance, and her place was soon occupied by kakucho. “i hope i am not being a bother.”

“of course not, kakucho. you will never be.” you answered, feeling more confident around him than you ever did. “do you want some delicacies? i think i have never eaten something as delicious as them.” you offered them, and when kakucho agreed, you unconsciously started to feed him. it was an intimate gesture that you could hear yuzuha’s former etiquette professor fainting and screaming at you for doing in public, but, like when you two were dancing, you felt as if it was just the two of you inside the ballroom.

the rest of the night went smoothly. you and kakucho stayed seated together, chatting, laughing and eating, sometimes being joined by yuzuha, hakkai or any of his friends, and you felt as if you finally found the place you belonged. in the shiba state, you were always walking on eggshells, afraid of offending anyone and being punished by your smallest mistakes — now, in tenjiku, you felt a freedom to be yourself you never had before. and kakucho was one of the main reasons for that. the knight always made sure that you were comfortable where you were at, and to be in his presence made you feel safer than you ever did.

“y/n?” he called you after ran left to dance with one of the many ladies that were throwing themselves at him, and you noticed how his face had a tinge of worry on it.

kakucho wanted to make his intentions known, that he wanted to court you and then marry you, but he was afraid that he had read the signs wrong. you didn’t know he was your secret admirer, nor he was good enough to show his feelings in public. maybe the five dances were just you trying to get away from dancing with other men — who you didn’t know who they were or what their intentions with you were — and maybe you just saw him as a friend.

but before he could say anything else, izana started the expected speech he was supposed to do.

“i hope everyone had a night.” his king started after the claps calmed down. “as you know, this ball and tomorrow's tourney are in the memory of my older brother, crown prince shinichiro of toman.” his voice didn’t had the same melancholy it had in the years prior, and kakucho didn’t know what to say. you grabbed his hand, and he looked surprised at you. “my brother taught me everything i know: from how to be a good ruler, to how to court a woman. though he wasn’t the best at doing that.”

the ballroom was filled with soft chuckles. everyone knew how horrible prince shinichiro’s way with women was.

“but he also taught me to help friends in need. i can’t overlook how conflicted my best friend is now.” was izana talking about him? he felt how you squeezed his hand, and his heart melted at the gesture. you were trying to comfort him, without even knowing what izana was talking about. “my friend thinks he’s not worthy of the lady he loves, and, because of that, i announce that our kingdom will have another dukedom.”

kakucho felt how izana’s words made you slowly loosen your hold on his hand, and he didn’t know what to do. his heart was beating quickly inside his chest, but he couldn’t form any words to say that the woman izana is talking about was you. it had always been you.

“i announce the creation of the hitto dukedom, led by the one who stayed by my side with a loyalty i never saw before. come, kakucho, our newest duke.”

you dropped kakucho’s hand and fled the ballroom as soon as izana finished his speech, leaving kakucho surrounded by people he knew since he was a child, but feeling more lonely than he ever did.

—

of course.

of course kakucho didn’t want to court you. izana’s words made it very clear — it was a noblewoman, the holder of kakucho’s affections, and that was why he needed to be made nobility. it hurt, knowing that you weren’t enough for him. because you thought you were, with your whole heart. the way he seemed to smile and laugh more with you, how he danced five times with you and stayed at your side the whole night.

you were just a friend. that’s all.

you cursed yourself for thinking otherwise, to think that you would live a love like your mother and father had. it was too good to be true — you and your mother were maids of a shiba lady, and your father and kakucho were knights. your mind was too glossed by a fantasy you created on sleepless nights that you didn’t notice the signs that everything was just that. a fantasy.

“y/n!” you heard yuzuha calling for you, and you stopped in your tracks, being engulfed by her arms.

and you broke down.

yuzuha hugged you tightly while you cried for your foolishness, for the love you thought you were almost having, for all the feelings you had for kakucho. it wasn’t fair, was it? maybe if you were a noble lady, just like yuzuha, he would like you better. but you were just a maid, someone that was born to serve and not be served, someone that the surname didn’t matter. if your mother had married someone else instead of your father, maybe kakucho would like you more than just a friend.

your lady led you to your room, her hands bringing the comfort you need. she helped you to undress and loosen your hair, and you almost laughed at how your positions changed.

she tucked you under your covers, and you smiled weakly at her. “kakucho is surely a fool if he does not love you.”

you whimpered, a new flow of tears glossing your vision.

“i will talk to him.” she stroked your hair, getting up from your bed. “but try to get some sleep, my dear y/n. tomorrow is a new day.”

you just nodded, trying to not break down in sobs again when yuzuha left your room.

—

kakucho knew izana meant well with his words, but the way he paraphrased his speech could be interpreted as if he was in love with a noble lady.

and that was probably what you thought.

he rushed to your room, but kakucho knew he was late. after izana’s announcement, he was too dumbstruck to do something. because he couldn’t believe it — he was going to be a duke! him, the orphan and scarred knight, a duke! it didn’t make sense. but then, as someone from royalty, he could give you everything you truly deserved. he could pamper you with all the riches of the world, with all the things neither of you two had growing up. he could treat you like the special gem you were.

but would it be worth being made a duke if you weren’t there to be the first to congratulate him?

when he turned to look at you, in the ballroom, expecting to find you giving him one of your smiles that left him breathless, he saw your running form, with tears streaming down your face. and he was paralyzed, because he didn’t know what to do — and then the nobles came to congratulate him.

he didn’t had a need for being a duke if you weren't going to be his duchess.

he would trade everything — all the riches in the world, the offer to be made a god, a kingdom, everything — just to be with you.

kakucho reached the hallway of your room, breathless — chest rising and falling while he breathed, but every time he inhaled, it hurt. it hurt to know that such a good night didn’t end in the way he wanted. it hurt to know that you were crying because of him, and he couldn’t do anything.

but instead of being met with his own company, yuzuha was in front of your door, a look on her face that kakucho never saw before. “i will be short, kakucho.” her voice was stern, and kakucho gulped. he could win in any fight yuzuha tried to pick with him, but she looked like a mother scolding her son after he did something bad. “do you love y/n?”

he didn’t hesitate to answer. “yes, of course i do!” he whispered, a hand running down his face, frustratedly. “do you think i care about anything but her?” he asked, almost desperately. “i give up on my pride and asked the help of my friends to write those letters for her, because my love was suffocating me. if i loved her less, maybe i would be able to talk more about it.” kakucho would set the world on fire to see your eyes lighting up, he would fight the gods so your life would only be filled with good things.

it was as if you two lived many past lives together. the thought of being the cause of your distress, of hurting you, of losing you, tormented him to the point of feeling his heart hurt physically.

how many lives has he lost you to be feeling this way now?

yuzuha’s hand on his shoulder took him from his thoughts, and kakucho noticed the warm wet patch on his cheeks.

“she loves you too, you know. that’s why she left the room.” she explained. “she thinks you’re in love with a noblewoman, and she doesn’t want to be in your way to happiness.”

“but my happiness is with her.” kakucho protested, and he felt like a child fighting with their older sister over a broken toy.

yuzuha chuckled. “but does she know that?”

no, you didn’t.

“tomorrow, kakucho. tell her everything after crowning her the queen of love and beauty.”

—

the tourney was buzzing with people, and you felt a headache coming.

you didn’t sleep well last night. after yuzuha left your room, you tried to fall asleep, but tears and your thoughts kept you from it. you tried to not think about kakucho, you really did — he loved someone else, and you would only bring more despair for yourself if your thoughts kept wandering to him — but he was stuck in your head. the way he smiled, how he laughed, how warm his hand was in your skin. kakucho engraved himself in your mind, like he was a sewing thread in a piece of fabric, and you couldn’t find the end of it to end such torment.

you thought that maybe sleep could have bring a remedy to your situation, but kakucho was even in your dreams last night. you couldn't escape him.

but avoiding kakucho, in person, had been an easy task. as the king's champion, he was preparing to fight in the tourney, so you could eat breakfast in peace — but everyone was giving you a weird look. was it because you left the ballroom running? apparently, everyone bought your little story of not being well — you weren’t used to balls, and had drank too much, leaving the room to not embarrass kakucho after the king’s announcement.

then why ran called you ‘your grace’ when greeting you?

you tried to not dwell too much in it. it was the tourney’s day and, even if you were fighting with your feelings for kakucho, you were worried about him.

yuzuha’s hand on your thigh prevented you from shaking it too much, but you’re sure your lower lip would be swollen. you never saw a tourney before, and you didn’t even know what things happened there, but just from watching the inexperienced knights falling from their horses made your heart race and worry to bubble in your heart.

hakkai seemed to sense your distress, and gave you his boyish smile. “do not fret, y/n/n. kakucho is the best knight i ever saw, and a better swordsman than big brother taiju.”

you could only nod.

the buzzing of people chatting amongst themselves was becoming a bit too much for you to bear, and before you could excuse yourself, the announcer announced kakucho’s name. he was going to fight the winner of the last fight, a knight from the kingdom of toman that you couldn’t remember his name.

kakucho appeared in all his glory with his shiny armor, and your heart skipped a beat. he nodded at your direction, and you averted your eyes to your lap, still a bit hurt to look at him properly. you actions made the knight’s heart ache, but he understood why. he hoped that his gesture after winning the fight would be enough for you to believe his feelings.

the fight started, and you were on the verge of having a heart attack. every time kakucho’s horse crossed the sides and his spear touched his opponent's chest — hakkai told you the winner was supposed to touch his opponent's chest five times — you heart raced even more. he was skillful with handling his horse and manoeuvring it so his opponent wouldn’t be able to touch him, and his spear was like an extension of his arm. when kakucho touched his aim for the fourth time, your heart was almost in your mouth — but, in the blink of an eye, kakucho’s horse got scared by something, and he fell out of it.

everyone was silent at first, and a cry of his name, which left your mouth, broke it.

“kakucho!” you got up from your seat and made your way towards the fighting arena, discarding your heels in the way to make you faster. you cradled his face on your lap, noticing how it was bleeding a little, and your worry grew. maybe it was just a concussion, but the sight of his blood made you sick.

rindou was the one who managed to make the horse calm down, while ran and mochi were making sure that the animal didn’t come near you two. mucho was shouting at the toman knight, and you called for the eldest haitani. “we need to take him to his room, ran! i’ll be able to take better care of him there.”

he nodded, and you and mochi helped him adjust kakucho on his back. you could see how angry izana looked while talking to mucho, and the last thing you saw before entering the castle were guards taking choji to talk with them.

“care if i ask something, lady y/n? do not be offended by it.” mochi broke the silence, and you nodded. “do you know how to take care of his injury?”

“i…” it wasn’t your life to tell others about, but you knew you shouldn’t lie to them. “lord shiba wasn’t a good father, and lord taiju inherited his aggressive ways from him.” you opened the door to kakucho’s room, and if it was another circumstance, you would be blushing just by being an unmarried woman in the room of an unmarried man. “lady yuzuha used to take all the punishments to preserve lord hakkai. i was the only one who treated her injuries.”

the two knights remained silent, and you took a seat beside kakucho after ran laid him down on his bed. “can you bring me fresh cloths, bowls, water and alcohol?”

“yes, of course.” ran was the one who answered, and you sighed when the door was closed.

you didn’t notice you were holding back tears until you looked at kakucho’s sleeping face and, for the second time in less than twenty-four hours, you were crying about him. his injury wasn’t anything serious and he wasn’t going to die, but you were scared. you never saw someone falling from their horses, and it wasn’t a sight you didn’t wish to see again.

your fingertips started to trace his scar, light as a feather to not wake him. kakucho was a work of art, and you couldn’t understand who badmouthed him because of his scar or his milky eye. every time you looked at him it was like constellations were bursting, and fires were dying, and the whole damn world felt terrifying — but kakucho was like an anchor, something that reminded you that you were safe.

he fluttered his eyes, and you retracted your hand, and he pouted. “don’t stop, my lady.”

you blushed at how intense his red eye was looking at your face. but you did not deny his wishes, but this time your hand started to stroke his face.

“you scared me so much, kakucho.” you whispered, a few tears falling down your eyes.

he chuckled. “it was not my intention, y/n. but i think someone sabotaged my horse.” kakucho said weakly, one of his hands wiping away the tears that were falling on your cheeks gently. he didn’t remember very well what happened. his horse wasn’t an agitated one, and he always obeyed him.

you nodded, and he smiled at how you leaned into his touch as if you belonged there. because you did. “it was choji. i saw the guards arresting him.”

“he was probably jealous because of yesterday.”

yesterday.

you suddenly broke the skin to skin contact you two were having, almost leaving the bed, but he held your wrist — gently, but at the same time demanding. you let your feelings cloud your mind to the point of forgetting that you weren't the holder of his affections. that the way he was looking at you meant nothing, because his mind was always thinking of someone else.

“do not go.” he whispered, and you pouted. it wasn't fair to you, to your feelings.

“k-kakucho, please, y-you're a duke and i… i am just a maid. i-if someone sees us like this, you will have to m-marry me.” you tried to reason with him, but the hold he had on your wrist demanded you to stay. the words hurt to say, but they were the truth. kakucho was now a duke, and you couldn’t be a stone in his path to happiness. his eyes were, too, demanding you to stay — you never saw that emotions on them, as if your departure would physically hurt him.

“my dearest y/n.” kakucho started, his mind thinking about the only thing he could do to make you stay. “i do not want to love you in the shadows anymore. i am tired of being a coward, of not being able to hold you, to kiss you or to call you mine.” he dropped the hold of your wrist, his fingers traveling to your hand, and bringing it to rest where his heart was. beating, and beating for you. “then, please, accept my feelings. do whatever you want to do with them. my heart is yours — yours to command, yours to love, yours to break. you can break it a million times, and i will gather the pieces so they won't hurt you and crawl back, because being without you hurts more than having my heart shattered to pieces.” kakucho pressed your hand against his chest gently, and it took everything on you to not cry. “i love you.” he brought your hand from his chest to his lips, pressing a tender kiss to your knuckles.

“your secret admirer.”

you just kept your eyes glued to him, speechless. yuzuha was right then, kakucho was your secret admirer, but you still couldn’t believe it. it was too good to be true — what izana was talking about then, of him not feeling worthy of the woman he loved? why didn't he feel worthy of you? because when you looked at him, you saw everything you always desired — a good man, someone who didn’t care for people’s titles or surnames, someone that was kind, someone who was strong and hardworking.

before you could say anything else – to confirm to him that his feelings weren’t one-sided — the door opened and you both returned to your original positions, with kakucho starting to pretend he was asleep once more.

“he is still unconscious?” mochi asked amused, because the blush on your cheeks told otherwise.

you nodded, taking the supplies from his hands. “y-yes! he woke up a few minutes ago and i said he could go back to sleep.”

the older knight smirked at you, and you chuckled uncomfortably.

“i will leave you two to be. just don't do the thing before marriage, are you hearing me, kakucho?” mochizuki teased, and kakucho opened his good eye.

but you pressed one of your fingers on kakucho’s lips, to prevent him to speak any further, and started an endless bickering with his friends. “of course, mochi! kakucho is a gentleman, he would never do that.” you answered, smiling at mochi who was closing the door.

“be careful of what you say, my lady.” you heard kakucho whispered while you prepared a bowl with alcohol, and another one with water.

you scoffed. “let me treat your injury first, my good sir. then we can talk.”

kakucho did what he was told to, hissing and cursing when the alcohol stung on his injury. it could be even worse — kakucho saw so many lords falling from their horses who didn’t survive or that had broken a lot of their bones. his fall ended just with a cut on his temple. another scar to his collection, but this one was being treated by you.

and your hands were so gentle on his skin, cleaning the dried blood and sanitizing it, making sure that it wouldn’t infect and become worse. he almost slept again by your ministrations, but he wanted to look at you. to memorize your face, to encrave it on his brain. but his insecurities were starting to eat him from inside, and he held your wrist once more.

“kakucho…”

“stop my torment, lady y/n. say something, anything, to my confession. break my heart if you want, it’s yours to do as you please.” please, love me. it was what he wanted to say, but the words got stuck on his throat. you deserved so much more, so much better — not the jagged pieces of the broken man kakucho was, because, in the end, they would only cut and draw blood from you.

but the way your eyes were looking at him said that you were willing to put him back together, to mend the broken pieces and make him a functional man again with your love.

all you wanted to be was his moon, so you could show him all the little stars of your heart — that shined for him, and only for him.

after cleaning your hands, they found their way to cup kakucho’s face. “i am no lady, kakucho, and i’m sure i’m not worthy of a duke as yourself.” before he could protest, you continued. “but i love you, and i think this above all the societal rules.” he leaned into your touch, melting in the warmth of your skin. he never felt such happiness on his life before — to know the holder of his affections also loved him was something he never experienced before, and hearing i love you leaving your soft lips was something he needed to hear everyday.

you pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead. “you should rest a little more while i prepare a bath for you, alright? tomorrow a doctor will come to see how your injury is faring, i hope.”

“alright.” he answered, trying to get up to get a better view of you.

kakucho could never be bored while looking at you. every time he did, he discovered something else — like how you twirled a strand of your hair when you were too absorbed in a conversation, or how you fidgeted your fingers when you were too worried or nervous.

when the bath was ready, you helped him get up to reach the path, turning your back when he started to strip himself from his clothes. they were dirt with mud and grass, and also with a bit of his blood. he chuckled when he noticed you fidgeting your fingers, and he couldn’t help finding you too adorable. kakucho hissed when his skin touched the hot water, and you hurried to take his clothes from the floor.

“stay.” he commanded, his hand catching your wrist again.

“let me put your clothes somewhere else. i’ll be back quickly.” the knight watched as you discarded his clothes near his door, walking back to the tub and taking a seat in the corner of it.

kakucho intertwined your fingers again, finally allowing himself to relax. your free fingers were stroking his hair, and he could die now — because he would be the happiest man to cross the river between life and death. “tomorrow i’ll properly start to court you. expect flowers and gifts at every hour.”

you giggled. “you don’t need to, kaku.” the nickname was both sweet to say and to hear. “just a stroll in the gardens will be fine for me.”

“but not for me.” the determination lacing his voice startled you, but you smiled nonetheless. “you deserve that i give you a wedding ring made of stardust.” kakucho whispered. “you deserve a piece of the moon to illuminate your room instead of candles.” with every word, you leaned down and kakucho raised a bit from his seating position to get closer to you. “you deserve rose—”

before you knew it, you lost your equilibrium and fell inside the tub. the warm water wetted your light blue dress, and kakucho’s arms helped you to steady yourself. “i-i am sorry…”

but instead of reprimanding you, kakucho laughed. it was just like when you two were dancing in the ball, but you could hear it better. the sound made your heart flutter — it was like a child’s laugh, and you couldn’t help but laugh alongside him. the giggles were bubbling in your chest before you allowed yourself to laugh fully with kakucho because of your clumsiness.

it was when the laugh died down, however, that you noticed the reality of the situation.

kakucho was naked, and you were on top of him.

you squirmed on his lap, trying to get up, but he held you where you were with his strong hands. “if you keep squirming, i will not be able to control myself.” his head fell on your shoulder, and you held you breath. you could feel the warmth of his skin emanating from him, and you didn’t know if your face was hot due to embarrassment or from how warm kakucho was.

“kiss me.” you whispered, and he happily answered your wishes.

you both were inexperienced, but kakucho had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved before, but was willing to try for you. his lips were soft and his chest was sturd, and you gasped when he pinched your hips. kakucho took that opportunity to deepen the kiss, exploring your mouth and trying to engrave the sensation on his mind — he wanted to know everything about you, the sound you’d make when you two consumed your marriage, the faces you would make when he was pleasuring you. kakucho wanted to know all your sins, while you wanted to know what was plaguing his mind day and night, ready to fight it to see him happy.

the kiss was broken for the need of air, and both you and kakucho were with reddened faces and swollen lips. you kissed his scar, and he sighed with the feeling of your lips on his scarred skin.

“i love you.” he whispered against the skin of your neck, his lips trickling the sensitive skin there.

you kissed his forehead again. “i love you too, kaku. i think i should get up be—”

“i told you two to not do anything before marriage!”

—

“how duke life is treating you, my dearest kakucho?” ran asked his friend, knowing very well how boring it was. ��if you ever need guidance, just ask me.” the older man winked, a glint of proudness shining on his violet eyes.

it was the day when kakucho was going to test his wedding suit. king izana gave him and you the marriage ceremony and the feast — as well as a summer house and a trip to the beautiful beaches of brahman — as a gift, and yuzuha and hakkai the clothes. they said it was the least they could do for you two, but kakucho felt everything to be a bit too much. if he had his ways, he would have a private wedding, just you, him, his and your friends — he couldn’t wait to finally call you his wife.

he tensed when lord takashi did more adjustments to his suit. “don’t be nervous, your grace. i’ll make the suit the most comfortable you ever wore.”

kakucho nodded. “how did y/n look in her dress?” he asked curiously, because he couldn’t help himself.

“i can’t say, your grace. but she will be the most beautiful woman you have ever seen.” the tailor answered, while he finished his ministrations. “you can get back to your clothes again.”

you already were the most beautiful woman kakucho had ever seen.

he and ran returned to the king’s study chatting about the war, between toman and rokuhara tandai, that had just finished, their opinions not diverging from each other — lord south tried to pull the same move king taiju did, but he wasn't expecting brahman to run and help toman as soon as word reached king takeomi’s ears. the man was a beast in the battlefield, and he was nicknamed ‘god of war’ for a reason. south didn’t believe it, and was defeated by the sword of both kings.

izana smiled at kakucho when he and ran entered his study, the other knights already chatting with each other.

“what happened?” ran asked his younger brother, taking a seat next to him in the round table. kakucho did the same, but beside his king.

mucho was the one who spoke. “we will have a wedding to attend that isn’t our dear kakucho’s.”

the man in question raised his eyebrow. “whose marriage?”

“king takeomi is to marry lady kawata. his invitation arrived today, all of us are to go.” kakucho and ran looked shocked at the king, and izana chuckled.

“wasn’t she prince haruchiyo’s betrothed?” ran asked, visibly entertained by the family drama. kakucho wanted to know more too, but at least he had more decency than his friend and fellow duke.

“we can’t fight matters of the heart, ran.” he answered, happy that takeomi finally found happiness, and his mind drifted to you. how happy you always looked when he visited you and did the most mundane things, how flushed you would become when his hand touched yours, or how beautiful you would look in your wedding dress.

he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life — and all the others he would have — at your side.

#hitto kakucho x reader #kakucho x reader #kakucho hitto x reader #tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers x reader #tokrev x reader #kakucho fluff #— june writes.

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uniquely-waffles · 2 years

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Jupiter’s Moons (Part 1)

A series of short prompts about the Jupiter Family from the Metal Gear series.

Characters: Solid Snake, Otacon, Raiden, and Sunny. Relationship: Otasune, but their relationship is not the main focus so like, it’s mentioned here and there.

These stories are based on my personal head cannons with there characters such as these will include Autisitc! Sunny. Also, of course characters will be out of character but It'll do my best. Each prompt will feature a different POV from a different character. The stories takes place between MGS 4 & Rising. They are canon divergent, ok. Been a long time since I wrote a fanfic so i may be rusty with some mistakes. Hope y’all enjoy and I want to thank @spoiler1001 for giving me inspo for some characters. This is for you!

Part 1: Ganymede (Snake)

It’s barely 6 in the morning and I didn’t expect to see Hal in my face telling me to wake up with such urgency. When I did and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, I saw what was in his arms and knew why.

“Otacon... is that...?”

‘It’s a baby, Snake. A baby girl that I found at our doorstep”, He was astounded.

“But how? This is a undisclosed area. How could someone just drop a baby here?”, I asked.

“W-well I don’t know. I heard what sounded like footsteps on the roof and they stopped. “, Otacon looked down at the little baby in his arms, she was asleep. “Next thing I knew, there was a knock. I got startled, and when I opened the door there she was.”, He gently rocked her.

I just looked at him, then at the baby. She had little wisps of platinum hair and a little button nose. Wrapped up comfortably in a white blanket with cartoon animals and totally at peace with everything. Wish I was that relaxed.

“How do you know it’s a girl?”, I asked and then Hal gave me a note, or rather a piece of ripped paper that looked like it was hastily written.

“This is Sunny. I rescued her but I am not able to care for her. I trust that you look after her. Please, take care of her.”

That’s all the note said, no signature or anything. “Rescued her, huh? Wonder what she’s been through...”, I wondered. Hal sits down next to me.

“I don’t want to think about that. Poor thing. She looks like she’s six months old”. There was a pause and Hal continues. “I don’t know who dropped her off here or why, but we can’t leave her here. Maybe we can-”, I cut him off before we can finish.

“How can we take care of a baby here on The Nomad? With everything we got going on, I just don’t think it’s a good idea, Hal.”, I tell him and can see him look down frowning. I just sigh and place my hand on his shoulder. “Hal... I know. I know, but... we don’t know nothing about children and what if her parents are looking for her? She was apparently rescued right? Maybe she was kidnapped.”

“That could be true but...”, Hal still looks down at the baby. “Maybe we can, for the time being, look after little Sunny. I’ll see what I can find on missing children reports and what not.”, He looks at me. “But for now,” he hands me Sunny as he gets up and goes to the computer, “I'm going to see what all we need for her.” he beams, typing away. “Come on David”

Oh Hal... I look down at Sunny. The rays of the sun from outside rosed and peered from the window. It’s rays hit her hair, the platinum locks made it look like a halo appeared around her head. Hmph... Sunny. What a fitting name for a kid. Maybe, we could give it a try. Maybe... Well this is going to be interesting.

Part 2: Callisto (Raiden)

Crickets chirped in the early hours of the morning as I see The Nomad. Carefully I traverse, not being too loud to wake Sunny. It was hell to see her, hooked up to tubes in a caged crib asleep and being heavily guarded by Patriot soldiers. Well, cutting them down was the easy part. The hard part was running away from guns and soldiers while she cried out. I’m really sorry Sunny that you woke up to that. Must have been really scary. But, you’re safe now and... I wish you could stay with me. I wish... I could protect you more, but I can’t. I’m too dangerous to be around anyone. I have no one. No family, nothing... If I was mentally stable enough I would raised you as the child I never got to have... maybe. I take this small bundle of joy and wrap her up the best I can with the blanket I gotten from some local shop. I put her in a basket and carefully picked it up. I’m almost to The Nomad. My eyes swelled up with tears, I’m trying so hard to keep it together. I named you Sunny, a name that just popped into my head. I see you and I’m reminded of your mother, Olga. You look just like her. She trusted me with your life after she gave up hers to protect you. I think.. she would’ve understand why I'm doing this. I sneak my way up, carefully walking to stop for a second. I get a piece of paper and write a note. I’m hurry up as I know around this time Hal and Dave should be awake. Daylight is coming. I walked to the edge and jumped down. I’m at the entrance of The Nomad. I look at you one more time as I place you at the entrance. I couldn’t help it as tears started again. If only the circumstances were different... But I know you’ll like Hal and Dave, Sunny. They are good people. They want to make the world better. I know they’ll take good care of you. They are the only other kind of family I have left. Sunny I... I quickly wipe my face, knock on the door and ran as fast as I could. I hide behind some crates and I look. I see Hal answer, he looks around and then looks down. He’s so surprised he audibly cried out, “what?”. He picks up Sunny and takes her inside. I see the exit and walk towards it. Before I do that, I look back again, tears silently stream down my face. “Goodbye, Sunny. I hope we can meet again soon.”

~Years Later~

I lie still in my room, just a spine, head and upper jaw alone to my thoughts. My body is going through maintenance at the moment. I stare up at the ceiling, my eyes meeting the fluorescent light. My eyes then shift to the wall where they are pictures there, some come from Otacon. It’s been years since I‘ve talked to or seen Snake and Otacon. I know that throughout this time, Hal has been sending me letters about what he and Dave have been up to with Sunny. I remember getting that first letter and how Hal told me how they found Sunny and how they have been raising her ever since. I don’t think they ever knew that it was me who saved her, who dropped her off to them. Deep inside, I still replay that scene over and over. Then he would have pictures included of her growing up. Of birthday parties and family outings of this adorable little girl smiling while her new fathers are holding hands watching lovingly at whatever activity she’s doing. I remember one time Dave wrote to me talking about how crazy it has been doing Philanthropy work and parenting. He never thought he would be the parenting type. Well, it seems to suit him. All these letters I received, but I never replied back. Doesn't stop them from continuing to send them to me though. I thought about visiting them, I miss them so much. But with everything that has happened to me, I know I can’t. I’m scared about how they would feel if they saw me... like this. How would Sunny react? Maybe she would be scared of me. I spent some more time in my thoughts until finally my body is done with maintenance. After I’m hooked up to it, I get some information that Snake is heading to South America. I get my coat and my blade as I head out. Snake, it’s my turn to protect you ~To be continued~

#waffle's writing #metal gear solid #mgs #mgs 4 #solid snake #otacon #otasune #octagon #snavid #sunny emmerich #sunny mgs #chiquita!#raiden #raiden mgs #robo-twink #hal emmerich

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spoiler1001 · 2 years

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Progress Report now with the reason this whole thing was written.

Eva gave Raiden the location of the child. All it took was him hunting down his… grandfather in a sense. It was laughable. The child was connected to him by other people’s blood. After his hatred of Solidus and the experiences with Solid and briefly, with Liquid, the stress in his life was getting to be too much.

This child was innocent, and his, in a way. After his split from Rose, how he deserted her, he needed something good. The fights and the drinking were less effective to block out the bad dreams. He needed to be out in the world, making a difference. He promised Olga.

It was easier to find the body than to find the girl, or so he thought. The people guarding the child were easy enough to cut through. His training from VR and beyond made him deadly in combat. Area 51, despite all the conspiracy theories, was not as guarded as he thought it would be. Maybe they expected nobody to try to break in and not demand to know anything about the ‘aliens’ or ‘space crafts’. The fact that Raiden used security cards from the guards themselves to dig deeper and deeper down unnerved those surrounding Big Boss. Raiden moved with a one-track mind, making him sloppy. The lack of training almost made him lose himself. If he didn’t get rusty, he would have slowed down and thought about why they were letting him go relatively easier.

He made it to the nursery. The crib was completely covered by a form of a tank, wires dangling out of it. There was a heart monitor, showing a perfectly healthy heartbeat for an infant, but something was in an IV bag that was hooked up to it. That did not look right, it looked like poisoning. Raiden’s memories pulled up the times that He had artificial blood pumped into his body to control him, linking him to that infant.

Gingerly, he peeled back the cover to see a baby swaddled in a gray and blue blanket, slightly grumpy that her nap has been interrupted. The scowl on her face was almost adorable. Raiden felt himself smile at the baby. There was no name written, just a code for identification purposes printed on the tank. That did not seem right. Even Solidus gave him a name. Several technically.

------

The baby had silver hair and bright blue eyes. Raiden looked over the tank as a whole, with many wires and such leading to the baby, he had to be careful as to not hurt her. Unfortunately he barely got farther than sticking his hands into the crib.

The cover of the tank slammed closed, crushing both of his wrists and causing blood to pool and drip down his arms. The pain didn’t even have a chance to hit him, but his knee’s crumbled.

He did not make a sound, but the baby did, and guards, armed to the teeth and with armour thicker than the others that Raiden confronted on his way in. The pain and the blood loss made his head foggy, and bile built in his throat.

Raiden woke up to turbulence in the plane. Rose and John were in Georgia, the US state at the moment. Sunny and Hal were in the cockpit, joking and talking. A picture of Snake, David, was hung on a door, the photo itself taken a couple moths after the Big Shell incident. Raiden was surprised to see that He was smiling in the picture. Maybe it was after he got Sunny.

“All this advancements in technology, and we still haven’t found an answer to turbulence.” Kennedy mused.

“If mankind was meant to fly, they would grow wings.” Raiden answered.

“Don’t jinx it. We’ll wind up running into someone who has.” Hal grumbled through the speaker.

Kennedy laughed at that. Even Raiden smirked. This was a reality where technology raced to mach magic and far surpassing it making the fantastical seem mundane. A miracle in and of itself.

The sun and humidity were a relief after the weeks spent in the cold. Kennedy took off her jacket, showing off a black tank top with gold trim. Hal and Sunny walked away to seem like those two were just tourist and not two people helping someone wage a war against a company. Kennedy pulled out a small screen, not quite a phone and not quite a television and pulled up a video file. She couldn’t show it to him on the plane, because of the satellite interference with the planes.

“Ok, this one is a bit weird.” She said, deceptively casually. That did not inspire confidence in Raiden.

“Weird how?” He raised an eyebrow.

Kennedy just showed him the screen. It showed someone near the beach, bare as the day he was born. This definitely caused him to raise an eyebrow. That being said, he was a grown man with maturity and kept watching the screen. Kennedy kept her face on Raiden’s, watching for the look of recognition.

Raiden’s eyes narrowed as he kept watching, ignoring her trying to hide a smirk and laughter. Then he recognized surgical scars that mimic those of grafting, and the graft in question matched his skin tone. His eyes widened.

“Ken is that-” He asked, his voice going up in pitch.

“Yup. I’m starting to see why Rosemary defected from the patriots.”

#metal gear rising #metal gear solid #metal gear raiden #tw organ theft #tw blood #blood tw

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starr-fall-knight-rise · 4 years

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Humans are Space Orcs, “An Invitation.”

So this story totally went right off left field from what I was expecting. I honestly surprised myself like I am sure I will surprise some of you. Don’t worry I feel the same way. I am thinking about making this the end of this arc, though I know some of you were hoping for it to go in a different direction. I still think the ending is super surprising and very interesting, so I hope you like it anyway.

He stood by the shuttle ramp back straight hands clasped behind his back. His knuckles were bandaged to the point where he could barely bend his fingers, but the dull throbbing in his hands was easy to ignore.

A cold wind whipped past him tugging at the stiff fabric of his uniform and threatening to rip the cap right off his head. Since leaving the hybrid facility, he had changed clothes, gotten some rest, received medical attention, and cut his hair into a very short buzz-cut. The hair was still blue, but he could hide that under a cap if he needed too, and the earrings had been easy to remove. Sunny had likely had less fun than him considering she needed about a gallon of nail polish remover to clean herself off.

All around him, the ground was swarming with military and GA personnel. The facility was massive, and no one was entirely sure how extensive the operation went on. He glanced over his shoulder, and into the shuttle where Glados Hal Cortana and Vicky were curled up around each other and fast asleep.

They had refused to leave him since the incident which was only mildly inconvenient, and he didn’t really have time to do anything other than let them have their way.

Engines rumbled off in the distance, and he turned his head to watch as the next shuttle descended from the sky not a few hundred feet away from him. A sharp wind whipped up around him, and he had to hold his bap in place as the shuttle settled against the landing strip.

The doors hissed open and two figures stepped out in accompaniment of at least a dozen other assistants and clerks.

He walked in that direction, meeting the GA chairwoman and the Admiral with a salute.

“You’ve been busy, commander.” The admiral pointed out, turning his head towards the swarming building before looking back “I don’t suppose it would do any good to remind you that it’s usually the job of lower ranking individuals to do undercover work, and that you are generally in a purely command capacity?”

He didn’t allow his expression to change remaining just as serious as the admiral, “Ma’am, Find I prefer to lead from the front, however in the case of this particular mission it was only logical for e to take lead. I am friends with a Drev aboard the ship to a point where we could reasonably fool almost everyone on a short term basis.” he motioned towards the building, “It worked a little better than expected since I was simply attempting to gather information.”

“I see… and what exactly did you find.”

He motioned the two to walk with him noting how uncomfortable the chairwoman looked now that she was exposed to the near freezing air around them. He led them into the building, “My crew has been working for the past day or so to try and figure out just exactly what was going on here. From what I immediately gathered while inside the facility myself, and from what some of the hybrids told me-”

“Wait, you have spoken to the hybrids?”

“Forgive me, I misspoke. I have spoken with one of the hybrids.”

“How are any of them capable of speaking. Considering the facility can’t have been more than a year or two old.”

The door hissed shut behind them, “Genetic tampering, or so she says. Anyway upon entering the facility Sunny and I discovered that they were, in fact, doing what we assumed, and that is offering the hybridization of different species to couples who cannot have their own naturally. If you go through those doors there you will find the nursery where y crew is attempting to take care of the remaining hybrids, though it remains to be seen what can be done with them once this is all over.” He continued on down the hall, “We discussed the genetic sequencing process, and some other details, but when we were brought down onto the floor, I had an opportunity to explore some of the more restricted areas of the facility, and when I did, found the reason for their success where the prodigum had failed.”

He walked down the stairs.

“Adaptids. Apparently, somewhere, and somehow one of these scientists determined the action of the hybrid splicing gene, though they were not able to recreate it naturally. In order to mix two species it is imperative that you have adaptid DNA to preform the action, otherwise the integration of the different genetic material is not seamless. From what we have gathered, they were harvesting Adaptid genetic material as part of their growing process.”

Stepping out onto the floor he motioned around with a wide sweep of his hand. The chairwoman and the admiral stopped dead in their tracks staring in wide-eyed bewilderment at the lines of test tubes being watched over by scientists on his crew. The room was dark, but you could still see the strange redish glow emanating from the partially grown fetuses suspended inside the tubes .

“These hybrids must be fed constantly with adaptid DNA in order tow work, not only that but the hybridization process requires command computer input in order to give the correct amount of genetic material when ordered. As I am told, a fifty/fifty split hybrid is not viable, so the creature must lean towards one or the other.”

The admiral was shaking her head as the rundi chairwoman turned in circles, “Whan is even the point of all this, surely the money they were making couldn't be equal to all the research and time that was put into this.”

He nodded, “Yes that is also rue, however, I think they were only responding to a niche market while they did their real work on the side.”

“And what is that?”

“The creation of super soldiers, or at least superior genetic creations designed to have special abilities or durability.”

The group went silent staring at him like he was insane as he spoke, “And you are sure about this?” The admiral said in incredulity.

“Yes I am positive, their greatest creation is the reason that we are here right now. She has taken control of the facility, and seems interested in facilitating the relocation of the hybrids to better homes and locations, but after that she says that the knowledge must be destroyed at all costs.”

“You do understand what this might do for edical science?”

“I do, but I also understand that we have not proven ourselves capable of possessing hat knowledge without corrupting it. Furthermore, I am not keen on getting in the way of Eris. I have a feeling that she is a force I am not interested in reckoning with.”

“Who is-”

Just then the hybrid starborn floated from the nearby room. At some point during the investigation she had taken a leaf from Conn’s book and acquired a gravity belt. In this way she made an ethereal otherworldly figure as she floated onto the floor. Her long dark hair billowed an undulated about her head, while the hundreds of flowing white ribbons swirled at her back.

The admiral stepped back and the commander averted his gaze.

“Good evening Chairwoman, Admiral Kelly.”

The two of them stepped back again. The admiral held a hand to her head looking around as if trying to find the source of the voice.

“Do not be alarmed, unfortunately my physical body is mute, so I will be forced to communicate in this manner.”

“What are you?”

“I am the first successful human starborn hybrid, and the oldest hybrid of this facility though my genetics were tampered with to make me age at an accelerated rate.”

“And you speak for the hybrids?”

“I do.”

“And what is it that you want.”

The admiral looked very, very nervous. She seemed to understand the power of this person? Creature? She was a human alien hybrid that could read minds. No secrets were unavailable to her.. All the secrets in this room were hers if she really wanted them, all she had to do was ask a question and wait for the answer to pop unbidden into the minds of her speaking companions.

She was the most powerful thing in this room, and everyone knew it.

“I want one thing above all else, and that is for the hybrids to be taken care of. The ones that are already in the nursery should find good loving homes, the ones being grown in these tubes should be treated likewise, those of us who do not possess sentience should be released into an environment that suits, or at least kept somewhere that they might remain happy for the time being. Those of us who do possess sentience, but are not conventionally adoptable might request a place to live out our lives freely with the same rights as the rest of you, and then when this is all over, I wish that this entire facility and every ounce of hybrid knowledge inside it be destroyed.”

“Destroyed.” The two protested, “But You don’t understand, the application to medical science is to great to simply destroy it.”

Eris’s mouth twisted downwards into a frown, and the commander shivered under her scathing black gaze, “You are not ready for that knowledge, since you have been proven to be incapable of treating it correctly. If you do not destroy the knowledge, I vow to destroy you….. Is that understood.”

“Are you threatening us?”

“You are threatening yourselves. I simply want to live my life in peace and tranquility, but if my hand is forced, than I will be in my rights to act accordingly. You have no idea what kind of pain and misery this knowledge has caused us and you will never find out ever again if I have anything to do with it. I do not care how any medical applications that you might find for it. Your medicine is far along enough, that you can find other ways of meeting your ends rather than using he DNA of some poor creatures to chase power and immortality.”

They were just about to continue protesting when the sound of footsteps interrupted.

The three of them turned to watch as a grim faced scientist made his way up the isle.

“I am sorry to interrupt, but we have some news you aren’t going to like.”

The commander sighed, “What now?”

Eris tilted her head, “Very interesting.”

“Ell sir, we were combing through the databases tying to determine where the original hybrid DNA was sourced from. And as far as we can tell some of the originals were taken simply from random individuals off the streets.”

“Like we expected.”

“Yes sir, but… it seems that they too a shortcut when it came to gathering the human DNA….”

The admiral tapped her foot on the floor, “Well go on, spit it out.

The man grimaced and turned towards the commander, “Sir, the original human DNA… well.”

Eris was staring at him.

Everyone was staring at him

“They sequenced it form…. From the adaptid.”

It didn’t click at first because he was originally struck by just how long Vicky had been imprisoned here if she was the original sequence. Almost one and a half years…. It was terrible to think about, also terrible to consider Eris had never had any sort of childhood.

The room was silent.

Everyone was staring at him.

He didn’t entirely understand, “I’m sorry, and how does this affect-” He paused the realization coming slowly.

He turned in place to look at Eris who stared back at him with her wide black eyes, and her flowing dark hair. His sister had hair like that…

“Mother Fuck.” He muttered

Was he just imagining things, or did he sense a bit of a resemblance in her face, the lines of the nose, or the height of the cheekbones.

He turned away from the group staring at the ceiling, “Mother fuck.” He repeated

“Commander, are you alright.”

A hand dropped to rest on his shoulder.

He was feeling just a little dizzy.

“Commander do you need to sit down?”

He tried to shake himself taking a deep breath as he raised his head and waved them off, “No, no I’m alright.”

He turned around to look at Eris who was staring at him with a rather bemused expression, “how very interesting.” She said

He took a deep breath and straightened up, “Well if this is the case, than I take responsibility for what happens to the original hybrids, and I demand that any and all information gained using my DNA be destroyed immediately, I don’t care what kind of applications it may or may not have, my ruling on the issue is final.”

His hands had gone cold under the bandages as blood began pulsing through the rest of his body.

He was more than angry at the Tesraki. He almost wished he had killed them, snapped their necks with his bare hands like he should have done originally, and now because of all of this, he wasn’t entirely sure what to do. He was lost and confused and, didn’t know if he should feel responsibility for them.

It was his DNA, but he had no choice in the matter.

It was quiet for a very long few minutes until the chairwoman and the admiral stepped away to give him some time to think. He was grateful for that at least though he couldn't imagining it being of so much help.

“You are very confused.”

He turned to look at the Dark haired starborn her head tilted just slightly to the right, “You do not have to feel responsible for us.”

“I don’t have to, but I do.”

“It is in your nature.” She mused hair billowing about her head.

He looked down at the floor and sighed before looking up again straightening his back, “I…. I wish there was more I could do for you, but-”

She smiled and held up a hand, “I can hardly blame you. You were an unwilling DNA donor, and have opted to adopt the entire universe, which must be a strenuous and taxing burden sometimes.”

He opened his mouth then closed it, “if i was a better man, I would still try.”

“I will be fine, Commander. I think with some freedom, I will do just well for myself.”

They stood there awkwardly in silence for a while. He shuffled his feet trying to figure out what to say. “You look a lot like my sister when she was younger.” He wasn’t entirely sure why he said that but Eris smiled, so he supposed it had been the right thing.

“May I visit you, commander, on occasion?”

“Yes , of course, I would…. Be honored by your company.”

She smiled outwardly, but inwardly he could hear her laugh. IT was a nice sound, he hoped she could find it in her to do it a little more. She turned to float away.

He held out a hand, “Eris I-”

She turned to look at him, a smile still playing over her face, “I know, call you Adam.”

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sergeant-bonky · 3 years

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The Guy Next Door

Hal Carter x Reader

Summary: Your next door neighbor despises you until the day your landlord leaves you hanging. (based off the prompt submitted to @the-ss-horniest-book-club)

Authors Notes: Happy Sunny Sunday!!! 🥰 First time writing for Hal so I hope this turns out okay!

“What do you mean you’re not turning up? This is your property!” You yelled down the phone to your landlord while pacing back and forth on your wooden porch. Your home was in a state of disrepair and now your landlord Lance was refusing to come and fix the problems.

From your peripheral you saw your arrogant neighbor leaning against the railing on his porch. You chanced a glance toward him, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion when he gave you a small smile and wave.

“You know what, thanks for nothing!” You snapped at your landlord and cutting the call off. Collapsing on the wooden step, you bury your face in your lap. The stones under Hal’s boots crunched as he neared you.

“Miss?” His voice was nothing like you expected. Hal, your neighbor had never spoken to you and ignored you. But you saw lots of women come and go from his house the past couple of weeks, and of course you might have watched him chop the wood ready for the winter months.

Your eyes met his and you almost melted under his soft gaze. “Is everything alright? I couldn’t help but-”

“Eavesdrop?”

“Overhear.” He corrected. One hand deep in his pocket and the other holding up his toolkit. His flannel shirt opened to reveal a dirty white tank top underneath.

“Yes.” Your tone was unconvincing. “No.”

“What’s the matter? I’m pretty good with my hands.” Hal cringed and this is exactly the reason he ignored you, he didn’t want to make a fool of himself like he just did but he seemed a little relieved when you cracked a small smile and blushed.

“My house needs some repairs and my landlord won’t help me.” You sighed, running a hand through your hair.

“Let me take a look, I’ll see what I can do.” Hal offered and saw you were reluctant. “No why would you do that.” Hal shook his head and turned to leave before you called out for him.

“Please, I need your help.” You smiled, “I can pour you some lemonade?”

“Yes please, ma’am.” Hal grins, following you into the house.

#hal carter x reader #hal carter x you #hal carter x y/n #hbc drunk drabbles #hbc drabbles #the ss hbc drunk drabbles #hal carter imagines #imagines #drabbles #drabble

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n0-eyedtaissa · 4 years

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f.p. jones (a stage play of love in iii acts)

i. fp & alice: they’d never admit just how similar they are; cogs that fit together to power a well-oiled machine. they’re two sides of the same coin, trying and failing to run away from a dismal future. “if i ever end up like my old man, i swear...” alice’s moves are cat-like as she slings a suntanned leg over fp’s waist. she wraps a hand around his throat before she kisses him, she’s strong enough to kill the monster he’s scared is inside of him. kisses were red like cherry slushees and a split lip. alice smells like cheap perfume samples from the kiosk at the mall and her breath is too hot against fp’s newly-pierced ear. he doesn’t remember it happening but old freddie andrews pulls out a polaroid of hermoine holding the apple and her virgin mary pin, fp’s head in her lap as he bit at a wooden spoon. some say the world will end in fire, some say ice. alice is the ice queen and it stings how much fp is jealous of her. “northside boys don’t fall in love with serpent girls, alice.” fp’s drunk off his dad’s whiskey and his own home-grown self-confidence, prone to hurting himself before anyone else could do it for him. alice’s crooked fingers swipe across fp’s smug face in a harsh slap that rings out through the tiled cold of the first-floor bathroom. his fingers hook into her knotted hair and they kiss, trading poison thoughts for poison tongues. from what i’ve tasted of desire, i hold with those who favor fire. alice lies and says she’s on the pill. fp pushes her against the wall, laughing as the scotch tape gives out on sierra mccoy’s student council posters. they don’t talk again until after she’s already taken three pregnancy tests, drinking herself sick off sunny d because there was no way that could be right, that she needed to try again just to be sure.

ii. fp and gladys: if love wasn’t supposed to hurt, then maybe this was never love at all. but it was fun, despite their deep set knowing that there was no way the two of them could end well. gladys gibson was the niece of a decorated army Sargent, met fp through a cousin’s friend of a friend. she smoked unfiltered cigarettes and painted her lips with a deep shade of bruise purple. she was pretty in a masculine way, a diamond-cut jawline and a cigarette-fueled rasp. she said she carried a gun in her purse and fp wouldn’t be surprised if she was telling the truth. he’s in the front yard of some dumb part at hal’s parents house when he finally sees her without her band of suitors. “can i bum a smoke?” it’s a lame way to weasel himself into the magnetism of gladys’s personal bubble, but it’s a sure-fire way to get her attention. she gives fp a wry smile and taps the empty space next to her as she perched atop her uncle’s camero. they skip the small talk and move straight to kissing, with gladys’s itchy fingers toying at fp’s belt loops. they fuck in her backseat and drive to pop’s today split an order of fries after. the jukebox plays that cover song by joan jett and gladys doesn’t miss a single beat. fp can’t dance but for gladys he’ll try to. oh i don’t hardly know her, but i think i could love her. fp think so. tries to will himself to love her better, be stronger for her. gladys puts a bow on the pregnancy test before giving it to him and doesn’t hear from fp for three whole days.

iii. fp & ruthie: she was a beacon of hope in cut-off jean shorts. the first time fp ever met ruthie would forever be engrained in his stone-cold memory; she came storming up to his front door, guns a-blazing as she told him off on behalf of all the serpents trying to recruit her younger brother. he likes her confidence, her loyalty. there’s a fire inside her that the southside still hadn’t managed to put out. they swap stories over cigarettes by the dumpsters behind pop’s, ruthie washes her hands and whips them up a bite to eat when there’s a lull in customers, when time seemed to move slower and quieter and the world faded out just enough where they could focus only on each other without feeling guilty about it. he wants her but he’s scared to ruin her. fp doesn’t mean for it to happen it, it just does. he has a black hole heart and a black lung laugh. likes that ruthie swears. that she wears thrift-store overalls and socks with holes in the toes. that she smells like lavender soap and discount dryer sheets. fp understood her, understood the bitter sting of abandonment and the wounds that never fully heal no matter how much time passed. ruthie needed fp more than she’d ever admit. sometimes she wished someone would just sit her down and tell her what to do, because if she could fix everything she would die trying. fp takes her picture as ruthie lights up a cigarette under the buzzing red neon lights of that same damned diner. “me? why me?” “you know why...” it’s clumsy and it’s earnest and that’s what made it worth everything. love was patient, kind. love wore a zeppelin t-shirt and had a mess of bed head curls as she pressed her too-cold toes against the flesh of fp’s legs. he feels the need to protect her, even though he knows that ruthie had lived several lives before she met him, despite only being twenty-six years old. his joints crack when he gets out of bed and so do hers, you should hear it when i crack my back. and it’s sad, really, the way that fp had never known someone so young who felt so old.

#fp jones imagine #falice imagine #fp jones x gladys #gladys jones imagine #parentdale #fp jones x oc #fp jones x ruthie #fruthie blurb

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unfortunate-stranger-losers · 5 years

Photo

first person to say “you forgot [insert character here]” gets slapped with a fish

more detailed notes under the cut

Edit: the amazing @amr102-art made us Florence + Drumstick icons so I added them and Kevin to the ATWQ chart!

italicized house is the one I fancy over the other for said character

in alphabetical order by surname (if available) because holy shit why are there so many of you

The Unfortunate Generation

Violet Baudelaire: Slytherin/Ravenclaw

Klaus Baudelaire: Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff

Sunny Baudelaire: Slytherin, leaning slightly more towards Ravenclaw than Gryffindor

Movie!Violet/Lilac Baudelaire: Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff

Movie!Klaus/Nick Baudelaire: Gryffindor

Movie!Sunny/Solitude Baudelaire: Hufflepuff

Beatrice Baudelaire II: Slytherin/Gryffindor

Friday Caliban: Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff

Duncan Quagmire: Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw

Isadora Quagmire: Ravenclaw/Slytherin

Quigley Quagmire: Mix of All Four {I personally prefer Gryffindor but his character is very centered}

Carmelita Spats: Gryffindor/Slytherin

Fiona Widdershins: Slytherin/Ravenclaw

The Sugar Bowl Generation

Josephine Anwhistle: Gryffindor/Slytherin

Babs: Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff

Bald Henchman: Ravenclaw/Slytherin

Bearded Man (Volunteer Fighting Disease): Hufflepuff/Gryffindor

Beatrice Baudelaire: Slytherin/Ravenclaw

Bertrand Baudelaire: Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw

Miranda Caliban: inbetween Slytherin/Hufflepuff, closer to Gryffindor than Ravenclaw

Book!Olivia Caliban: Slytherin/Ravenclaw

Netflix!Olivia Caliban: Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw

Colette: Slytherin/Gryffindor

Count Olaf: Slytherin/Ravenclaw

Dewey Denouement: Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff

Ernest Denouement: Slytherin/Gryffindor

Frank Denouement: Ravenclaw

Vice Principal Nero Feint (surname via Netflix): Slytherin/Gryffindor

Hal: Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw

Hector: Hufflepuff/Gryffindor

Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender: Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff

Hugo: Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw

Ishmael: Slytherin/Ravenclaw

Kevin: Gryffindor/Hufflepuff

Monty Montgomery: Slytherin/Ravenclaw

Georgina Orwell: Slytherin/Ravenclaw

Gruesome Twosome (Man with Beard, Woman With Hair): Slytherin/Gryffindor

Arthur Poe: Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff

Eleanora Poe (Netflix): Ravenclaw/Slytherin

Jacquelyn Scieszka (Netflix): Gryffindor/Slytherin

Gustav Sebald (Netflix): Ravenclaw

Jacques Snicket: Gryffindor

Kit Snicket: Slytherin/Ravenclaw

Lemony Snicket: Ravenclaw/Slytherin

Justice Strauss: Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw

Esme Squalor: Slytherin

Jerome Squalor: Hufflepuff/Gryffindor

White-Faced Women: Slytherin/Ravenclaw

Captain Widdershins: Gryffindor/Slytherin

Fernald Widdershins: Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw

Larry Your-Waiter (Netflix): Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw

All the Wrong Questions/13 Suspicious Incidents

Pip Bellerophon: Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff

Squeak Bellerophon: Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw

Tatiana Cozy: Slytherin/Ravenclaw

Treacle Cozy: Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw

Nurse Dander: Slytherin/Gryffindor

Drumstick: Gryffindor/Hufflepuff

Armstrong Feint: Ravenclaw/Slytherin

Ellington Feint: Slytherin, much closer to Ravenclaw than Gryffindor

Erastosthenes, Pocket and Walleye, the Librarians: Ravenclaw

Dr Flammarion: Ravenclaw/Slytherin

Gifford and Ghede: Ravenclaw/Slytherin

Marguerite Gracq: Hufflepuff/Gryffindor

Kellar Haines: Hufflepuff/Gryffindor

Lizzie Haines: Slytherin/Gryffindor

Sharon Haines: Slytherin/Gryffindor

Jake Hix: Hufflepuff

Jackie: Ravenclaw, closer to Hufflepuff than Slytherin

Cleo Knight: Slytherin/Ravenclaw

Ornette Lost: Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff

Prosper Lost: Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw

Moxie Mallahan: Ravenclaw/Slytherin

S Theodora Markson: Ravenclaw/Slytherin

Harvey and Mimi Mitchum: Gryffindor/Hufflepuff

Stew Mitchum: Gryffindor/Slytherin

Dame Sally Murphy: Slytherin/Ravenclaw

Kevin Old: Gryffindor/Hufflepuff

Polly Partial: Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw

Oliver Sobol: Hufflepuff/Ravenclaw

Florence Smith: Ravenclaw/Slytherin

Kit Snicket: Slytherin/Ravenclaw

Lemony Snicket: Ravenclaw/Slytherin

Dashiell Qwerty: Ravenclaw/Hufflepuff

#asoue #a series of unfortunate events #all the wrong questions #atwq #asoue netflix #file under: 13 suspicious incidents #hogwarts au #hogwarts vfd #mine #alignment charts

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snicketsleuth · 5 years

Text

Slackin’ with the Sleuth: reviewing Netflix’s “The Slippery Slope”

The third season of Netflix’s unfortunate adaptation may be the best one, but it’s also the most chaotic. The map is not the territory; in spite of the writers’ insitence that everything was carefully planned out, it’s pretty clear that the production went through some troubles along the way. The good news, however, is that the staff knew how to land on their feet as they fell. Part of what made “A Series Of Unfortunate Events” great in the first place was its love of improvisation: it was virtually unafraid of trying new, exciting things, and the author figured it out as it went along to create something truly unique in terms of absurdist, experimental literature.

The right word to qualify this first double-episode episode is "ambition". Ambition to expand the universe created by the books, to improve it, even. It's transparent that Daniel Handler was taking the opportunity to reboot his own series as he adapted it in the first two seasons of the Netflix show. Let’s elaborate after the cut.

As he's admitted several times, "A Series of Unfortunate Events" was mostly improvised by necessity. Contrarily to other series (such as Harry Potter's extensive seven-books plan), Daniel Handler signed a succession of three contracts. This prevented him from really planning out the mysteries of the series and their resolution, as he never knew how many books he would get to deal with them. It's no surprise that the books end with many plotlines unresolved. The Baudelaire orphans do not have enough time to solve every mystery in the world, and never did the author. The vagueness of the books is a deliberate testament to the uncertainty of existence, but it's also a practical consequence of the author's obligations.

So what we get with Netflix is a taste of what "A Series Of Unfortunate Events" could have been with its training wheels off. Everything about the Man With Beard But No Hair and the Woman With Beard But No Hair is proof of that. The idea of making them Olaf's surrogate parents is, simply put, genius. It brings so much to Olaf's character and grounds him in a very accessible reality. It's implied in the books that Olaf is largely replicating onto the Baudelaire orphans what was done to him, as he used to be an orphan himself. A classic tale of bad parenting repeating itself. The series takes this interpretation and runs with it: Olaf, twisted and warped by his two mentors, became obsessed with recognition. His unability to recognize how abusive and manipulative the two judges are is heartbreaking and deeply poetic.

Special emphasis was also given to the kidnapping of the Snow Scouts and its indirect consequences. The series decided once again to spell out what the books only talked about in whispers, and the result is glorious. The panoramic shot over the many fires starting all over the city broadens the series' scope and infuses the viewer with an ovewhelming sense of dread. It's a much more important shot than first appears. While reading the series, one gets the feeling that the Baudelaire orphans' story is but one of many stories set in this universe... which is why Lemony cannot give us all the answers. He can only give us a conclusion to this story, not to the mystery of V.F.D. or its sugar bowl or its Bombinating Beast, because they depend on several barely-related stories. We will never know what happened to all the Snow Scouts or their murdered parents, and that's okay. It's just a story for another day. In a way, the treatment of the Snow Scouts in the Netflix series helps setting up the viewer's expectations for "The End" and its unorthodox way of ending the plot.

Despite Season 2 and 3 being commissioned at the same time, there was a noticeable shift in direction and writing between the two. Daniel Handler's "firing" from the series (more on that in a later review) attests to that. So do the derisive criticisms of showtunes in Season 3, a clear response to Season 2's perceived overabudance of musical numbers. This response to bad reviews also shows in the way the fall of the caravan is filmed: it’s a genuine action sequence, full of tension and dread, with sorta-realistic physics. A far cry from the goofy destruction of Josephine’s house in Season 1.

Jacquelyn is conspicuously absent from the cast this time, which is due to Sara Canning’s ongoing salary dispute with Netflix but may also have been a response to critics. There are considerably less subplots in Season 3, which stays focused on the Baudelaire orphans for the most part. Instead the Netflix series fleshes out Kit Snicket, while giving K. Todd Freeman something to do to justify his main cast member salary. His introduction in "The Slippery Slope" is awkward as all get-out (as he shows up in the Mortmain Mountains out of nowhere despite last being seen in the city), but it's probably for the best. There's clearly been a retooling of the plot to accomodate Kit's existence and refocus the series in a more straigthforward direction. Kit clearly got parts of the sugar bowl plotline which was originally intended for Jacquely (she even becomes Poe's sorta-secretary!). For the same reason, the part of Nero in "The Penultimate Peril" was also probably intended for Eleonora Poe in the original scripts (as Eleonora Poe is a stand-in for Geraldine Julienne in the Netflix show). This replacement may have more to do with the actress' availability, unless the writers were deliberate trying to downsize the cast. We already know that Charles and Sir were also supposed to come back but that a tsunami prevented an actor from showing up on set (yes, really). Actor unavailability seems to be a running theme this season as Nathan Fillion is also missing. It's a shame, as Quigley and his mentor Jacques Snicket lived their own adventures off-screen in the books. If there was an interesting subplot to expand on, it was that one. Quigley gets more screentime than his siblings, but he could have been fleshed out a little more.

Education is the main theme in this episode, from Olaf's traumatizing teenagehood coming back in full force to Fernald oversharing his personal backstory. It's the right place to dot it: most of the original book centers around Quigley explaining how much the current generation of volunteers was being indoctrinated without their knowledge, and the Baudelaire orphans wondering if their parents would approve of their moral choices. One of the season’s greatest scene is an added one where Sunny ties a ribbon in her hair in homage to her sibling. The writers were keen to include this “passing of the torch” moment as practical considerations complicated the evolution of Sunny’s abilities. She speaks mostly in intelligible words in Season 3, and this emotional scene is a good trade-up to hammer in her character development.

As readers have already observed, the double-episode decided to make the rest of the troupe (save Fernald) leave Olaf in this episode. From day one, the troupe was mostly conceived as one integral character anyway, so it makes sense to make them leave together rather than "kill them off" in a series of unfortunate accidents. The white-powdered women's was by far the best exit, and it's the one the writers kept. More controversial is the unceremonious killing of the three Carnival Freaks. On one hand, it's true that "The Penultimate Peril" works without their presence, and their death efficiently signals viewers that the sinister duo means business. It's also partial motivation for the troupe leaving Olaf (as they're afraid they're next on the kill list). On the other hand, the inclusion of the Freaks in "The Slippery Slope" feels kind of a waste. Couldn't the writers have given them something to do instead of just dying three minutes after joining Olaf? For all we know, they could have been left behind at the Carnival, and come back at Hotel Denouement to accuse the Baudelaire orphans of ruining their lives. In a similar fashion, Hal is by far the missing piece of this season. The Baudelaire orphans ruined his entire life and betrayed his trust; his testimony could have turned the entire trial in a very interesting direction.

Contrarily, the writers also know that bringing back sometimes just isn't worth it. Take Bruce, for example: he's barely a footnote in the books in which he appears, and has no discernable character. No fan will complain that he was replaced by a new female character (derisively renamed "Brucie"), who actually has an arc in this double-episode. Slavish faithfulness can be as bad as unnecessary changes when it comes to adaptation.

#0548 #review #asoue netflix #ASoUE #a series of unfortunate events #daniel handler #man with beard but no hair #woman with hair but no beard #bruce #hugo #colette #kevin #white-powdered women #Quigley Quagmire #count olaf #jacques snicket #eleonora poe #geraldine julienne #vfd

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sevi007 · 5 years

Text

Ecdysis

Rating: Teens and Up

Fandom: Metal Gear

Setting: MGS4 Ending, Missing Scene right after the Epilogue

Word Count: 9510

Summary:

ecdysis - ec•dy•sis - the process of shedding skin or other covering, typical of snakes and some insects.

Big Boss sent both Snake and the world off with carefully chosen words before his death – it’s time to part with the past, and move on to the future.

For David, that means there is a wedding to attend… and then, figuring out how he will live what is left of his life to the fullest. Luckily for him, he has help with that.

__________________________________________________________

“A new world will be born. That new world is yours to live in.

Not as a Snake.

But as a man.”

Big Boss to Snake

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Smiling and laughing became awfully close to painful around sundown. By the time the stars blinked above them and late evening turned to early morning, Otacon felt like he would break down crying if he laughed mechanically one more time at a story or joke the others told him.

He felt like an awful friend, and did not care for it at the same time. After all, Johnny’s and Meryl’s wedding was as much a celebration of having done it, of being alive, as it was a wedding, and part of him wanted to join them.

The bigger part of him remembered that this was also a twisted sort of wake for Snake which only he knew about, and it made him want to scream.

It was a close call already when Campbell and Mei Ling came over to say goodbye. The Colonel had claimed to be a bit too old for partying until sunrise, and the young data analyst had gladly taken him up on his offer for a ride back to the hotel.

There was something too knowing, too sad in the Colonel’s eyes as he shook Otacon’s hand. It was then that Otacon remembered with a start – Campbell had been the only one who had not asked after Snake’s whereabouts when the wedding and the party had gone on, gone by, and Snake had not shown up.

“I wish you all the best, Doctor Emmerich,” Campbell murmured, with his knowing, sad eyes, and Otacon had had to bite the inside of his cheek bloody as not to lose it then and there. The others had been right there, after all. Sunny had been right there.

He wasn’t sure what he had answered, after.

Still, it felt almost relieving to not be the only one who knew… knew what…

(He didn’t want to think about it. Couldn’t. Wouldn’t.)

Mei Ling impulsively hugging him goodbye had been a relief. Spluttering in surprise, laughing awkwardly, had been easier to deal with, welcome to replace the pain in his chest. He had accepted her well wishes and orders to come visit her (“Of course, all of you! Snake and Sunny and you!”) or at least call her from time to time with some flailing and half-agreements and yes, of course, we’re staying in contact.

He told himself that he had not lied, after, when he waved their driving off car goodbye. He had agreed to stay in contact. He had not said anything about Snake.

It didn’t make him feel any better.

Otacon was staring at nothing, pondering if it would be suspicious at all to excuse himself and go to sleep now (everything seemed better than pretending a happiness he didn’t feel), when a small weight crashed into his legs, sending him stumbling back a step before he caught himself.

“What-…,” looking down, it was easy to recognize the mop of silvery hair, even when the little girl had her face pressed tightly against his legs. “Sunny!”

At the sound of her name, Sunny looked up, startling him with the deep frown etched onto her face.

“What’s wrong, Sunny?” Worry made his chest squeeze even tighter, and Otacon reached instinctively for her, checking her forehead for temperature, trying to gauge what could bother her. “Are you tired? It’s way past your usual bed time, after all!”

“I’m fine,” Sunny assured, despite the frown lingering on her face. “You look tired, Uncle Hal.”

“O-oh,” blindsided by that, he scrambled, trying for a reassuring smile. Even he could feel it turned out pathetic. “Well, it is getting late, after all…”

“Uncle H-Hal?”

The stutter, having become so rare when she talked to him or Snake, made him all the more worried; but it was nothing against the fear creeping into her eyes when she asked, softly, “Y-you’re not sick too, right?”

“Oh, Sunny,” forget blindsiding. At this point, it felt as if someone had taken a hammer to his head. Otacon dropped to his knees, hands fluttering from gripping Sunny’s shoulders to framing her face. “Sunny, no, no I’m not… of course I’m not sick! Why would you…?”

“It’s just… you said Snake is sick, and he went away…” at this point, Sunny’s bottom lip had started to quiver dangerously, “… and you look so tired, and…”

“Sunny, no!” Without hesitating any further, he pulled the girl to his chest, wrapping her tightly into a hug, pressing his face into her soft hair while he rocked her gently. Idiot, he groused at himself damn idiot, of course she would worry!

“I’m… I’m not sick.” He had meant to say I’m fine, but the words jammed in his throat, feeling as if he had tried to eat glass shards. “A bit tired, maybe, but… Sunny, I swear, I’m not sick. And I’m not going to go away.”

There was a muffled sound against his neck that sounded all too close to a sniffle, then a thin voice, “You mean it?”

“Of course I mean it!” Untangling himself carefully, Otacon held the girl at arm’s length. “Do I look like I don’t?”

Sunny did not look fully convinced, but at least she seemed to believe him enough to not cry any time soon. Small relief.

He was still trying to come up with something better to say (fervently wishing for the same quietly reassuring aura Snake possessed) when he registered a faint rumble, growing steadily louder, turning from a dull droning to the clatter of an engine and the sound of rotor blades cutting the air. By the time Otacon had pushed to his feet and spotted the blinking lights in the sky, the helicopter was already close enough that one could make out its silhouette against the night sky.

Behind them, all conversations died down, laughter tapering off. Backs straightened, hands reached for weapons kept securely under suit jackets. Meryl and Johnny stopped in the middle of a turn in their waltz, stepping apart while their hands simultaneously dropped to the guns at their waist line.

Meryl caught Otacon’s wide-eyed gaze over the short distance, jerking her chin towards the approaching machine. “Someone we know?!”

“No idea!”

A decisive nod, eyes gleaming defiantly, and she turned back to observe the sky. The click of the safety being taken off was loud like a thunderclap to Otacon’s ears.

“Uncle Hal, what’s happening?” Sunny pressed instinctively closer to him, eyes wide.

“Nothing, Sunny. But stay close to me, okay?” He did his best to keep his voice even, gently pushing the girl behind him. It would be better to get her to the Nomad… but should he stay outside himself, or follow her inside? He would be no help in a fight…

Cursing inwardly, he squinted upwards, trying to make out anything which could give a hint if the unexpected guest was friend or foe.

When he spotted the familiar writing at the side, so, so late, the helicopter already preparing to land, he felt as if his knees would give out in relief.

“That’s ours!” He called out over the roaring of the rotor blades, hoping to convince the others not to shoot it. “It’s just the pilot coming back, it was …”

… Snake who took it.

Otacon bit the words down before they could come out of his mouth, almost laughing at himself. What would he say, when the helicopter landed and no Snake would appear? Try and explain the truth to them?

Snake took it to get to a good place where he could kill himself, like the self-sacrificing man he is.

Oh yes, that sounded good.

He hated it. Hated it all – the unfairness of it, not being able to tell the others. Hated the little glimmer of hope which had tried to come to life in his chest when he caught sight of the helicopter.

Don’t be an idiot. You know he’s not coming back.

At least his explanation had caused the others to stand down, weapons being holstered and pocketed, postures mostly relaxing again. Not fully; Otacon himself couldn’t really let go of Sunny, either, unconsciously pulling her a bit closer towards him. Even telling himself that it was just one of their two pilots returning with an empty helicopter, he couldn’t shake the initial suspicion.

Maybe they were all a bit too used to surprise attacks, these days, but who could blame them?

They watched, equally parts on guard and curious, as the helicopter started its descent for landing, Rotor blades sending the air howling and whipping around their ears. The headlight turned off, leaving only small lights blinking, just enough to illuminate the door at the side being ripped open and someone moving to jump out while the skids were still inches above the ground.

Otacon squinted against darkness and the gusts, wondering who would join them in their celebration, and this late on top of it.

And then the newcomer stepped into the dim light of their makeshift-aisle, and Otacon stopped breathing at the sight of the familiar face he had thought he would never see again.

Snake was still in the suit he had donned before leaving, all black and grey and white, muted color which could have fit on a wedding just as well as on a deathbed, strands of hair getting torn out of the slicked back style they had been tamed in by the blasts of wind. While they all watched, he ducked beneath the blasts of air to better keep his balance, striding over towards their group in quick strides, gaze flickering left and right, looking for something.

Blue eyes eventually found Otacon’s gaze and a smiled curled over Snake’s face, wide and crooked but so very real.

The little flicker of hope Otacon had tried to suppress only moments before broke free and blazed into a wildfire even as his brain screamed that it wasn’t possible, he’s gone, he’s gone, he said he would…-

Yet his eyes saw and his heart hoped, and he didn’t know if to laugh or to cry or do a bit of both. Maybe some nice screaming mixed in.

Sunny didn’t have nearly the same issues. She was laughing, tearing away from his side in a matter of seconds, cheering loudly as she went, “SNAKE!”

And Snake, the same man who had taken to grumbling over how difficult getting up with his aging knees really was, did not hesitate to drop down, catching the little girl as she flew into his arms, rocking back under the onslaught but holding tight. Burrowing his face in the crook of her neck while she squealed with glee.

“That’s some entrance,” someone behind Otacon commented – Jonathan? – laughter in his voice.

“Dunno, Drebin’s entrance wasn’t too bad, either.”

“Mine had flowers an’ shit,” Drebin threw in, words slurring and tripping over accent and alcohol and the lilt of amusement. “Would say I win.”

“He’s still late, too.”

There was more, after, more talking and more laughing, but it all was drowned out by the roaring of blood in Otacon’s ears. His legs felt heavy, filled with lead as he pushed himself to walk, stumbling, towards a little girl and what could only be a ghost.

… he’s gone, gone, gone…

Is he?

The helicopter’s engine had finally been turned off by the time he reached them and he could hear Sunny prattling away, her stutter coming through as she talked at high-speed. Both her hands were gripping onto Snake’s suit jacket so tightly as if she feared he would vanish if she let go.

“… Uncle Hal said you’re sick, and you need so-… some time alone!”

“He wasn’t wrong about that,” Snake looked up at the sound of Otacon’s footsteps, something undefinable flickering over his face. Putting Sunny back onto her feet, he rose. And there it was, the popping of joints, the wince, but he didn’t comment on it, standing up too straight, too still, while his gaze never left Otacon’s. He did not even seem to blink. “Otacon.”

They were close enough now that Otacon could hear Snake breathe, could feel his body heat radiate off him, and god, even then did he have trouble to believe the other wouldn’t simply vanish if he touched him. Mouth opening and closing a few times, he spoke finally, voice cracking, “You’re… you’re back.”

“Yeah.” Snake looked almost as frazzled as he did, mused hair and out of breath and eyes a tad too wide, and it helped, somehow. To not be the only one looking as if they had seen a ghost.

“You…you didn’t…” He was not even able to finish the sentence in his mind, much less say it aloud.

“Couldn’t do it,” Snake murmured, voice deep and only the tiniest bit wavering, gaze flickering from Otacon’s down to Sunny. Mindful of the curious little ears listening in. “Couldn’t, then something came up and… I didn’t do it.”

Dimly, Otacon was aware of his own trembling. He couldn’t say when it had started. “And you won’t…?”

“Not going to.”

Relief flooded Otacon, so sharp and sudden it was nearly painful. The sound ripped from his throat could have been a hysteric, relieved laugh at any other time, but now it was more of a sob - and he didn’t give a damn, not at all, because for whatever reason, it was that sound of all things which finally seemed to make Snake relax, posture falling from soldier at attention into something more natural, tremulous smile widening-

The sound repeated itself, this time definitely a sob, and Otacon dimly thought fuck it, and simply surged forward to wrap his arms around Snake in a tight hug.

If Snake was startled by the move, nothing showed it. His arms snapped up at sheer inhuman speed, wrapping around the smaller man with the strength of steel, and if Otacon lost a few ribs during this, he wouldn’t even be able to bring himself to care. Not when he could press his face against Snake’s shoulder and could feel the other’s heartbeat under his trembling hands, strong and steady and real, beating a silent He’s alive, he’s alive, he’s alive against his fingertips.

He hadn’t felt this kind of breathtaking relief since the time he had had to drag Snake from a wet early grave, and the man had coughed up half a river before had started breathing on him again.

Rationally he had understood. Really, Otacon had understood, he assured himself silently, wildly, he through a blur of tears and relief. Between the aging, and FOXDIE… he had told himself it was a logical solution to Snake’s situation. The scientist in him had sorted it as predictable outcome.

And despite all that, he had not wanted Snake to take this route, inevitable as it seemed.

“Uncle Hal?”

A tiny hand tugged at his pant leg, and Sunny’s quiet voice, brimming with worry, piped up. “Uncle Hal, why are you crying?”

“I-It’s alright, Sunny,” Otacon choked, words muffled by cloth and tears, managing a wobbly laugh. “Those are g-good tears.”

He felt Snake shake in his grip, rumbling laughter vibrate through him, but he couldn’t be offended at being laughed at right then. He couldn’t even bring himself to feel embarrassed at all, even while crying in front of all these people, sniffling rather undignified against Snake’s shoulder.

All he felt was that all-consuming relief and happiness. All the more when he felt Sunny carefully wrap her arms around their legs and hold onto both of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took a while before they could get a moment to talk about it.

Snake was greeted with a mixture of enthusiasm he wasn’t all too familiar with (then again, it was Johnny doing the greeting) and playful nagging about his tardiness - he refrained from hinting at the fact that he almost had not shown up at all – and he had to shake hands, accept shoulder pats strong enough to make him bend under the force, and more hugs from Sunny before the excitement had died enough so he could duck out of spotlight.

And the, finally, finally, he managed to pull Otacon aside and away from the others, who were busy with themselves, so he could tell him Otacon what had happened on his trip to the cemetery.

He did so in fits and starts, having to stop every so often.

When he reached the point of the story where he had been about to pull the trigger (leaving out the sensation of the weapon’s weight in his mouth, the sound of the bullet whizzing past his ear) Otacon sucked air through his teeth with a hiss, gripping Snake’s wrist hard enough to bruise.

As he talked about Big Boss appearing in front of him, alive, talking to him, like an equal, Snake had to interrupt himself to remember that it had been real, and not a fever dream sent by his despairing consciousness.

He kept talking to Otacon’s hand on his shoulder, grounding him.

Silence settled between them once Snake had finished his tale, a pause while both tried to make sense of all that. They watched as a bit further ahead, the party came to a close, people preparing to leave. Meryl and Drebin were arguing about something, likely if the arms’ dealer should be allowed to drive in his drunken state or not. Johnny stood next to them, barely smothering a grin while watching his wife shut all protests down. Jonathan had heaved a squealing Sunny onto his shoulders, swearing loudly when Little Gray tried to climb up behind her, Ed laughing his head off over it with glee.

Finally, Otacon spoke, “So FOXDIE will die… with you.”

“Yeah,” Snake rubbed his hands along his pant legs, feeling the nagging need for a smoke. He tried to ignore it.

“There’s not going to be some pandemic outburst or anything.”

“No.”

“And you found all that out by talking to a dead man.”

He really, really wanted a smoke right then. “Supposedly dead. I guess.”

Otacon turned to him rather abruptly, disbelief and hysteric amusement warring on his face. “You guess.”

Snake shrugged, feeling both helpless and a bit amused himself. “I don’t know what else to tell you, Otacon.”

“Well, I don’t know, either!” Otacon’s voice rose a bit at that and he stopped himself, taking a deep breath while rubbing his hands over his face. His next words were muffled by his palms. “Why do things always have to be this weird?”

“Hell if I know,” Snake muttered. He couldn’t help the crooked smile pulling at his lips. It was nice to know he was not the only one despairing over that fact.

Nice and easy. Was that really too much to ask, just for once? Apparently, yes. At least in his life.

Loud laughter pulled them from their thoughts, and they both looked up to see Sunny sway dangerously far back on Jonathan’s shoulders, laughing so hard she had tears running down her cheeks, while Ed was trying to shake Little Gray off his arm where he clung to like a leech.

“You think we should tell them?” Snake pointed towards the happy group with his chin when Otacon turned questioningly towards him.

A pause, then Otacon shook his head slowly, looking tired and relieved at the same time. “No, I don’t think so.”

“No?”

“I mean, they didn’t know before,” Otacon shrugged, pulling a face as if to say well, you know. “About FOXDIE… they didn’t know you were going to… well. And as far as they knew, Big Boss was dead. And now…”

“Now he is,” Snake finished when the other trailed off. “And FOXDIE won’t be a problem anymore. No need to make them worry over it.”

“Yes, exactly.”

“Everything back to zero.”

The sense of déjà-vu he had at that statement made him suppress a shudder. He would need a while until the number held no other meaning any more than just that – a number. Not a man. Not a beginning, or an end.

“Snake?”

Humming in question, Snake tilted his head to look at Otacon. Stopping and taking a second, closer look when he saw the conflicting emotions going over the other’s face. “Otacon?”

Somehow, Otacon managed a weak smile, even when his eyes looked suspiciously wet again. “I just… wanted… I’m glad you didn’t do it. I mean, I know we agreed it would be… a solution,” he vigorously rubbed one sleeve over his face, nearly knocking his glasses off, pulling an apologetic grimace when he resurfaced, “I know we did. But the whole day long, I just thought… I thought you wouldn’t come back, and… I wished I hadn’t let you go through with that stupid plan.”

Snake felt as if his heart had dropped into his stomach right then. Impulsively, he reached out, before sighing and pulling his hand back. “Otacon, I…”

I didn’t even think how it might be for you.

I’m sorry I put you through this.

God, sometimes he really wished he was better with words, Snake grumbled to himself. Sighing, he settled for what seemed to be the easiest way to sum it all up, “I’m glad I didn’t do it, too.”

It seemed to work, at least. Otacon looked up, a real smile quirking the corners of his mouth, “Yes?”

“Yes,” somehow, Snake managed a lopsided smirk. “Or do you think I would have missed a shot at such a distance.”

The sound bursting out of Otacon then was half splutter, half choked off chuckle, and he aimed a weak slap at Snake’s shoulder. “Don’t make me laugh about you almost dying!”

Chuckling himself, Snake dusted his shoulder off – not that he had really felt it, anyway – and patted Otacon’s arm reassuringly, ignoring the half-hearted grumble of unbelievable he got for it.

“Snake!”

Hesitant amusement filled Snake as he looked up to see Johnny wave animatedly over at them. Really, the enthusiasm towards him was… unusual.

Next to him, Otacon chuckled. “They are probably leaving, you know.”

“Yea,” pushing to his feet with a grunt, Snake waved it off. “Be right back.”

Sunny beamed when she saw him approach. Her greeting was cut short, however, when a mighty yawn almost split her face.

“Whoops, kept the little lady up past her bedtime,” Jonathan joked, lifting the girl off his shoulders to set her carefully back onto the ground.

Rubbing her eyes which seemed hell-bent to fall closed, Sunny leaned heavily against Snake’s leg, holding onto him for support. “Snake, c-can we get a monkey, too?”

The surprise lasted less than a second. Snake did not even have to wonder where the notion had come from, Drebin’s grin too wide and Little Gray’s chatter a bit too smug (if monkeys even sounded smug. What did he know?).

Without missing a beat, he gently ruffled the girl’s hair and answered, “Why don’t you go ask Otacon about that.”

When Sunny lingered, grip still tight on him, he softened. “I’ll be right behind you.”

That finally seemed to satisfy her, for she nodded, letting go to wander back over to where Otacon was waiting, waving all the while to the adults who called well wishes and goodbyes after her.

“Good kid,” Jonathan commented, Ed nodding in approval.

Noting that, strangely enough, the statement seemed to be meant for his ears, Snake acknowledged it with a tilt of his head.

“She made a great flower girl.” Seeming to be done with her discussion, Meryl turned to Snake. She looked him up and down for a moment, hands on her hips, before raising an eyebrow. “You know, at that wedding you missed.”

“Yea,” Snake agreed. Pausing, considering, he added with a huff, “Sorry.”

Meryl frowned a moment longer at him, then she rolled her eyes and snorted a half-laugh. “Honestly, I was not even that surprised. You always have horrible timing.”

“Hey.”

“Probably depends on the perspective,” Johnny added cheerily, grinning crookedly when Meryl turned towards him with narrowed eyes. “Errr, you know, a perspective we don’t… understand?”

Much to Snake’s amazement, it was visible how Meryl relaxed when looking at her… well. Husband. The scowl faded from her face like it had never been there in the first place, and there was a brightness to her eyes he had never spotted in the woman before.

He had been a bit perplexed, to hear that Meryl, or rather, Meryl and Johnny, would get married, after all this mess, but now he could see that… yes. Those two might just be able to find their own kind of happiness.

“Otacon going to be okay?”

Caught wrong footed when Meryl addressed him all of a sudden, Snake had to think quickly to gauge what she meant. “Yes.”

“Going to tell us what that was about?”

The mood changed quickly, feet being shuffled uneasily at the sudden questioning, one or two throats being cleared uncomfortably.

Snake did not even bat an eyelash at it. He might have been tired and off-kilter, but it was not enough to have him disclose any more than he wanted to. “We all had a few long days.”

Meryl studied him for another beat before sighing. “So stubborn.”

“Likewise. You guys off to your honeymoon now?” It was not the best way to change the subject, but he didn’t really care.

“Hmmm? Oh, yeah!” Johnny seemed to brighten even more, taking the bait easily. “Not that we know where we’re going, we’re getting surprised with it…”

“Our lips are sealed,” Ed mimed zipping his mouth shut.

“I don’t even like surprises,” Meryl grumbled, yet couldn’t keep the smile off her face completely. “But yes, apparently, we’re going on a honeymoon.”

“But before that, we wanted to thank you.”

Thrown for the second time in this conversation, Snake frowned. “Thank me?”

Now that was wholly unexpected.

Johnny nodded, laughing - and when exactly had he grown so much more at ease around Snake? Around anyone? The wedding did not only do Meryl some good, it seemed. “Thank you, yes. I mean, without you, we all probably wouldn’t be here.”

Wouldn’t be… no that still made no sense. Was this about the mission? Snake’s frown only deepened. “If I had not done the job, someone else would have.”

“What?” Now Johnny seemed to be the one thrown, the smile dripping off his face as he cocked his head. “The job-… ah, no, I didn’t mean… I meant our first meeting! You could have killed me back there, but you didn’t. For that, I have to thank you.”

“…I see,” he didn’t. He hadn’t… he simply had not pulled the trigger, on a guard who was so naïve and kind that ketchup could trick him into worrying over his prisoner. Over an enemy. It had felt wrong, to kill someone so innocent, so he simply… had not done it.

He shouldn’t be thanked for that.

Meryl seemed to think along the same lines, at least partly, since she snorted. “He basically saves the world and you thank him for that?”

“Hey, I wouldn’t have met you, if it weren’t for him!” Johnny defended, before his eyes softened. “And then I couldn’t have married you, right?”

“Ugh, guys,” Jonathan complained, laughing. “Keep it down!”

“Uh, right!”

Much to the general amusement, Johnny blushed beet red, even while trying to glare at his friends for the teasing. Eventually, he gave, laughing at himself while he scratched the back of his neck. “Um. Yeah. That’s just… well. I just really wanted to say - thank you, Snake. For, uh, a lot.”

Snake stared down at the hand the other man offered him, then back up at the pair of newlyweds, watching him with matching smiles.

Later, he would blame it on the sudden sentimentality of a man who had stared death in the eye not too long ago, but right then, he honestly simply acted. Gripping the offered hand firmly and corrected, “David.”

A pause followed the single word, brief but there. It was easy to pinpoint the exact moment when the new knowledge and its weight sunk in. Meryl’s face did not give much away, but her eyes widened the tiniest fraction, glowing just a bit brighter. Johnny’s expression was much more open, went from confusion over surprise to something like awe, mouth opening and closing a few times before a wide grin spread over his face.

Snake couldn’t help but smile back. “My name is David.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Saying goodbyes to a group of people, Snake learned that late evening turning way too early morning, was just as bothersome as greeting them. By the time the tank had driven off (and wasn’t that an interesting ride for a wedding), he felt the deep ache of exhaustion in his bones, and all he wanted was to get some sleep.

He was nearly surprised to find Otacon still waiting where he had left him when he returned. The other man looked just as tired as he felt, eyes red from crying and lack of sleep and swaying slightly where he stood, yet he smiled when Snake approached slowly. Sunny had fallen asleep on his hip, head pillowed against one bony shoulder.

“Want me to take her?” Snake made sure to keep his voice to a low grumble, careful not to rouse their charge.

“No, no, I got this.” Otacon shook his head, hair flying around his face. Then he narrowed his eyes, something occurring to him. “But do you have any idea why Sunny thinks I would get her a monkey as a friend?”

“No idea,” exhaustion helped to keep his expression neutral even when he wanted to smirk.

“Aha…” Otacon knew him too well, if the eye roll was anything to go by. With a result huff, the smaller man turned, aiming for the Nomad. “Well, let’s keep talks about monkeys and anything related to the future. I’m too tired to argue over it.”

Whatever Snake had been about to answer got lost halfway there, and he slowed his steps, stopping altogether.

“Am I going to die?”

“Everyone dies. You can’t stop it. You can’t run away from it.”

Future. It had been an off-hand comment from his friend, but it brought the reality that had been drowned out in a rush of exhilarating relief back with the force of a shot finding its target.

He might have a life now, Snake reflected, but a future was not in the cards for him. With his light, his source, gone, he as a shadow would vanish soon enough. His life was only borrowed. Expiration date unclear, yet hanging over his head like a Damocles sword all the same. All he had left now was a job, a mission to finish to the sound of his final countdown ticking down.

Otacon and Sunny, though…

He watched Otacon vanish in the Nomad, the girl still secure on his hips. Those two, hey were different. They had a future, were more than shadows. And they didn’t deserve having to watch yet another person in their lives die right in front of them.

Snake watched, considered, and came to a decision.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hal was not even surprised when he went looking for Snake the next day and found him packing.

Sunny was in the kitchen, preparing them a late breakfast while humming and singing happily to herself. She would be too distracted to notice what was happening, and had Hal not gone looking for his partner on a whim, so would he have been.

As a master of stealth, it was likely Snake had counted on exactly that.

It hurt, a bit (a lot). Knowing that the other would just leave, chose to go by himself and be lonely, when he and Sunny were still there, ready to follow him. But, again - there was no surprise.

He had not expected Snake to return to them alive. How could he expect him to stay, then?

He couldn’t, Hal answered for himself with a little, annoyed huff. Because Snake, that stubborn, blind man, had no yet realized that he did not have to leave, and telling him wouldn’t get them anywhere. He had to come to the conclusion on his own, in time, and not because he was pushed to it.

The time were anyone could push or order Solid Snake around was over, for good. And Hal would not be the one to try and put him on a leash again.

Snake didn’t look up or acknowledge it when Hal stopped next to him, continuing to stack his few belongings in the backpack and zip it all closed without missing a beat, every movement fluid and practiced. He seemed to be nearly finished, pack full to burst. Gritting his teeth as he rocked back on his heels, the man took a deep breath, and pushed himself to his feet. The audible cracking of his joints and back was met with a wince, and swinging the backpack up and over his shoulder ended with a pained grunt.

It was only when Snake started to fiddle with the shoulder straps, corner of his mouth tilting down in annoyance, that Hal noticed something missing, making the picture seem strangely incomplete. A quick glance around didn’t suddenly procure the missing item, and by the time he finally spotted it – laying on the desk furthest from them – and had went to retrieve it, Snake was already by the door and nearly out of the Nomad.

It just wouldn’t do, sending him off so… incomplete.

“Snake, wait up!”

For a moment, it seemed as if Snake would ignore him, hand already hovering over the opening mechanism of the hatch. Then he shifted, looking back over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow.

Hal waved the pack around slightly, managing a half-hearted smile. “You forgot these.”

The tense line of Snake’s shoulders eased (had he expected a try to stop him, Hal wondered idly) and he shook his head. “No, thanks. I’m quitting.”

The pack almost slipped from Hal’s suddenly numb fingers. Instead he crushed it in his grip, the crackling of paper strangely comforting over his whirling thoughts. He couldn’t have heard that correctly. “Snake?”

A smile flickered over the soldier’s face, weak yet teasing. “These things will kill you.”

…I know, Hal wanted to say, to snap – how many times had he told Snake that? Especially after the coughing had started! And Snake had always shrugged it off, ignored it, or pointedly taken a deep drag of the damned thing. To hear him say it so nonchalantly now…

Something far more than simple surprise welled up in Hal at that, an odd mix of hope and disbelief and determination, and he took a sharp breath. The Snake he once had known – did know – would never let himself be talked out of doing something idiotic, self-sacrificing, like walking out of their life to spare them pain, once he had made up his mind.

But that same Snake would also never have quit smoking.

Maybe… just maybe…

“Where will you go?” The question he had sworn not to ask tumbled from his lips before he could stop himself. Maybe he had the sheer surprise to blame for that. Still, Hal winced, dammit, good going, before deciding – in for a penny, in for a pound. “Our fight is finished. There is nothing left for us to do.”

“No,” much to his surprise, Snake’s smile stayed, not giving way to the frown and grumbled acknowledgment he had expected. The older man tilted his head, seemingly considering his words, choosing them carefully, deliberate. “There’s one thing I still have to do. I have to see this age off – seeing what the future brings.”

Oh. Hal blinked, going over this new information and… Oh. Only now did he realize what he had been afraid of, still, after Snake’s return: That the man might not have died, but still had lost all purpose in life. Only waiting around until death would come to take him. Snake was a soldier – following orders, working towards a goal, had been all that he had ever known.

He had been afraid of what losing it might do to him. Hearing that Snake had already come up with a new goal, one he had chosen himself…

Something eased inside Hal’s chest right then, and for the first time in days he felt as if he could breathe freely again.

“Sounds good to me,” he said, and meant it, even when his voice quivered with the rush of emotions. Became steadier again when he found his determination. “I’ll go with you.”

Snake huffed, shaking his head. “Otacon, I’m gonna be dead soon. You don’t have to come.”

He said it as if Hal did not know that. Said it with a kind of pity that made Hal’s temper surge.

He did know. He had already dealt with what he had thought to be Snake’s death once, and was fully aware that there would be no miracle next time, no Snake suddenly appearing before him right as rain.

Probably the reason why his next words came out sharper than intended, anger driving any care out of him for the moment. “You said it yourself, Snake. There’s nothing inside you that you can pass on to the next generation. No genes, no memes… You’re manmade. You’re a beast.”

The words must have stung – Snake’s smile, pitiful or not, wavered. In any other situation, Hal would have backed off, but not this time.

He would make it perfectly clear that knew what he was getting into.

“I know,” the smile had made way for a scowl now, yet Snake did not get angry or snap back. He seemed more resigned than anything else, shoulders drawn up resolutely, defensively. “A blue rose. There won’t be any happy Beauty and the Beast ending for me. What little time I have left will be spent living as a beast. A shadow of the inside of the old age.”

It hurt more than any insult being hurled his direction, hearing his friend talk this way. Hal tried to ignore it as best as he could. Using Snake’s own logic against him was probably the only way he could make him see.

“Exactly,” the word tasted like ash in his mouth, everything in him wanting to disagree, and he kept going quickly. “That’s why you need me as a witness”

That made Snake pause, posture faltering, and scowl turning to a frown of confusion while he repeated slowly, “A witness?”

“Yeah!” Hal hoped anything of what he was about to say would make sense, would be believable. He was making this up as he went. Searching for something, anything to convince the other. He wanted to be there for Snake’s final days, no matter how close or how far away they were. The thought of those final days – Snake losing the fight, at last, - made his eyes burn, but he blinked hard against it, and kept talking with more conviction than he really felt, “Someone on the outside, to bear witness to your final days. Someone to pass on your story.

Not that I’m the only witness,” Hal laughed, a bit self-deprecating, but also glad. He wouldn’t be alone with this, after all. Heart lighter, he finished. “But I’ll remember everything you were and stick with you to the end.”

While he had spoken, Snake’s had eyes widened slowly, and now he was staring at Hal, slack-jawed and silent. A myriad of emotions flickered over his face in rapid succession, clear as day on his usually stoic expression, too fast to catalogue and recognize them all. His throat worked as he swallowed, hard, jaw flexing around words he couldn’t get out.

The one word Snake finally did get out was cracking, caving under the weight of too many emotions, “Otacon.”

Hal didn’t feel too bad about his own burning eyes anymore when he saw the answering glittering in Snake’s eyes. He swallowed the laugh – sob, he wasn’t sure – that wanted to escape him, managing a grin as he teased, “Besides – you wouldn’t let me suffer Sunny’s eggs alone, would you?”

The startled huff of laughter which exploded out of Snake’s mouth startled the other as much as him, and Snake ducked his head, failing to hide the grin flitting over his face.

Absolutely failed to hide the step he took away from the opening mechanism.

As if on cue, Sunny’s excited scream waved up the stairs, followed by calls of their names. “… come quick! They’re ready!”

“See?” Hal waved half-heartedly in the direction of the kitchen, unwilling to take his eyes off Snake. “Right on time.”

“They look yummy!” Sunny continued talking, blissfully unaware of what had almost happened above her head. A pause, the clatter of pans and plates, then she added thoughtfully, “Sort of like the sun. It’s rising again!”

“Sounds like we won’t have to suffer this time, though,” Snake’s voice was gruff, yet his smile unmistakable, reaching his eyes as he nodded towards the stairs.

We.

The thrill Hal felt at that burst out in a laugh even as he tried to wrinkle his nose. “Oh, please. You missed breakfast yesterday, that’s the only reason why you can say that.”

“Oh?”

“She put sugar on them, Dave!”

“Thought you like sugary stuff.”

“Not my sunny-side up eggs, thank you very much…”

Whatever else he had been about to say was lost when Snake shrugged the backpack off, letting it fall to the ground with a thunk.

Rolling his shoulder carefully, Snake looked back up, smirking at whatever he saw there on Hal’s face. “Well? Let’s go see what Sunny has in store for us.”

“…Yeah,” Hal mumbled, still dazed over this turn of events, then more enthusiastic. “Yeah! I mean, I want to see you eat sugary eggs, Mister Super Solider…”

“It’s not that bad. They could be burned still.”

“Don’t jinx it now.”

Snake rumbled a laugh, and Hal didn’t stop himself from doing something emotional, like, reaching out while they descended the stairs and place a hand the other man’s elbow.

Neither pulling nor pushing. Simply letting it rest there, hoping it would say I’m here, I will follow, I’m not going anywhere just as well as words would have.

The backpack stayed behind on the ground, no longer needed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was a lot of things the adult tried to keep secret from her, Sunny knew. They did it to protect her, as not to worry her, and while she wanted to be part of things, she also loved them for wanting to protect her.

(Yes, love; she had learned what that was, thanks to them).

Sunny was fine with the little secrets. The tiny, unimportant ones. Like Uncle Hal eating his instant ramen in secret while working, so he could claim he wasn’t hungry when she wanted to bring him sunny-side up eggs that were, alright, slightly burned. Or Snake shrugging vaguely when he came back inside the Nomad and she asked him if he had smoked again, when he was still smelling of cigarettes.

Those were the secrets they could laugh about, after, when Sunny wrinkled her nose and frowned at them and Uncle Hal claimed she got that from you, Snake, look at this, it’s your expression exactly!

Sunny did, however, despise the big, sad secrets. The ones that made the adults frown too much. The ones that had them lower their voices to whispers, worried hisses, or shouts that got quickly cut off so she wouldn’t hear them.

(She did. She did hear.)

The secrets that were so big, so heavy, so sad, that they couldn’t be kept secret completely, those Sunny hated a lot. Because she was smart, smarter than a girl her age had any right to be, and the adults not as secretive as they wanted to be, and somewhere in between those facts, she would always notice it, and start to worry and get sad, too.

Snake’s health, and everything related to it, was one of the big secrets. The raspy coughs and the cracking of joints protesting every motion. His slowed movements. The pains.

And, much too Sunny’s confusion, the wrinkles.

The wrinkles had been what started the big secret, even.

Uncle Hal’s joking about Snake frowning too much had turned in whispered suggestions (always when he thought Sunny couldn’t hear) to see a doctor.

This is not normal anymore, Snake.

Snake’s grumbled retorts that it was all age, he was fine, he was fine, had morphed into glares at reflecting surfaces, into searching fingertips mapping out new lines in his face that had not been there the other day.

Can’t recognize my own face anymore if this keeps going.

Everything else – the coughs, the pains – had come later. The added lines to Snake’s face had been what started the secret, what made the adults anxious and angry and sad.

And Sunny couldn’t imagine why. The pains and coughs, she didn’t want, either – they hurt Snake, and she wanted them to be gone. But the wrinkles?

She liked the wrinkles – the way they made Snake’s eyes crinkle when he looked at her warmly, or how they accentuated his rare, honest smiles. She used the deepening lines between his brows when he thought very seriously about something as handy guidelines to determine when it was time to distract him, so that he might smile at her again.

No, she really didn’t understand what reservations adults had against wrinkles.

All of that and more she pondered while watching Snake rest intently, arms crossed and chin put on top in the little space next to the man. It was not often that she saw Snake sleep, or sit down, for once not constantly on guard, and when she had found the man lying down for a nap on the couch after their breakfast, she had seized the opportunity of simply watching. Taking diligent notes of new lines to his face, the still unfamiliar dips and bumps of the burn scar, and just how relaxed he looked in sleep.

“Something on my face?”

Or, well, maybe not sleep.

Blinking, Sunny frowned to herself, very seriously considering if Snake would want her to answer with the whole list of new angles and lines she had found, or rather not. Finally, she settled on shaking her head No. “T-There’s nothing.”

One blue eye cracked open to look at her, a smile curving his lips. “What’s so interesting then?”

Another blink from her, slower this time. Confused.

The smile deepened, even while first frown lines appeared between his brows. Thinking lines, Sunny had labeled them. “You were staring.”

“I like your face,” Sunny tried to explain, earnestly. “That’s all.”

For some reason, that made Snake take a deep breath before he huffed a chuckle, eye closing again. A while there was only his deep breaths between them, before, “Don’t want to go play with your outside friend?”

“Mh-m,” Sunny shook her head before Snake had even finished the question. “Maybe… maybe later?”

A hum, saying more than most people could have said with words.

She would have to explain, then. “I want to stay with you.”

There was a long pause after that, longer than the last, long enough that Sunny wondered if she had said the wrong thing. It wouldn’t have been the first time. Talking to people instead of machines still was a challenge for her on the best of days, and even though it was so much easier with Uncle Hal and Snake, there was no guarantee for success.

Then Snake grumbled a sound and lifted the arm which had been laying over his chest in silent invitation.

The surprise was short-lived, and in a matter of seconds Sunny was scrambling up on the couch and on Snake’s stomach, dragging herself up so she could flop all over his chest. Laughing when he tapped her nose as soon as she was in reach, batting his hand away lightly.

This close, nose to nose, she couldn’t help herself but follow the newest wrinkles she had discovered with her fingertips – laugh lines, thinking lines, the edges around his eyes. She drew them all, fingertips feather-light, so light that the touch must have tickled, for Snake wrinkled his nose (Sunny happily counted even more wrinkles around his eyes) and huffed, making her giggle as the gust of air tousled her hair.

“I like your face,” she repeated, still smiling, sing-songed it while Snake’s hand rose to softly pat the unruly strands back into place. “I really, really like your face.”

It was not really what she wanted to express. She wanted to be able to tell him, in a way he could never doubt. How much she loved him. How it had hurt, after what Uncle Hal told her, to think she would not see him again for a while. That she did not mind if his face changed, or if his hair got even whiter than snow. He would always be important to her just the same.

But words were not as easy to her as numbers, or codes, and she could only count on the fact that Snake would understand her all the same. He was good at that, hearing what she did not say, what would not fit into clunky, awkward words. Maybe because he did not rely too often on spoken words, himself.

When Snake’s large palm gently slid down and cupped her cheek, thumb sweeping so tenderly over her skin, she knew - Snake understood.

And he loved her right back.

Else he would have never smiled like that at her, crinkling eyes and all. She just knew it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When David woke next, it was to the sensation of his right shoulder having gone completely numb, and the sound of computer keys clacking steadily away.

Awareness returned only slowly, consciousness dragging itself out of sleep at a snail’s place. Blinking his eyes open was already a herculean task in itself.

Absolutely worth it, though, David concluded when he finally managed, a tired smile curving his lips.

Sunny was fast asleep laying on his chest, one fist grabbing his shirt and her head tucked against his shoulder – that explained the numbness, then, he noted wryly. Warm puffs of breaths tickled his neck when he craned it to look at the girl, and while he watched, she burrowed even closer to him, still sound asleep.

The clacking, background noise until then, stopped momentarily and a whisper addressed him. “I hope she’s not too heavy.”

Pulled from his silent observation (Sunny had grown again; he had missed that in all the chaos), David looked up and met Hal’s gaze.

Hal shrugged with a crooked smile, shifting his laptop on his crossed legs so it wouldn’t fall. Sitting on the ground with his back against the couch, he was approximately on eye-level with the other man, making it easy for David to pick out the fondness softening his gaze. “You looked so peaceful. I didn’t have the heart to wake either of you.”

“’s fine,” he murmured in answer. Shifted his numb arm so it tucked Sunny closer. Tried to squint over Hal’s shoulder to see what the other was typing so rapidly. No use. There were half a dozen windows opened, some with multiple tabs, and Hal was so fast that the text on screen scrolled past too quickly to read.

Just as well. He liked getting the summary of Hal’s work better than figuring the stuff out himself, anyway. “What are you up to?”

“Oh,” Hal’s typing faltered, and he shrugged. “First of, uh, letting Mei Ling and Campbell now that you’re… we’re alright?”

That you’re alive. The words were there, but left unsaid.

David waited patiently. He knew well enough of Hal’s ability to multitask, deeming one or two emails unlikely to be able to hold the other’s entire attention for so long.

And sure enough, Hal continued on quickly enough, “And, ah, maybe looking for a place for us to stay, while I’m at it.”

A place to stay.

Blinking, David pondered over the warmth that filled him upon hearing the simple phrase. He had not even considered that, had he? Even after deciding to keep living his life out for as long as he could.

Of course he would forget something as ordinary as that. Of course Hal would be the one to remember.

“Found something?”

“Not really. I mostly asked around,” more clacking, a few windows being pulled up, some others closed. “Mei Ling promised to keep an eye out. Rosemary even offered us to stay with them, for a while.”

At that, David gave a quiet huff. A heartfelt offer, surely, yet not one he would take up. It would be hard enough, for Raiden and Rosemary both, to wrap their heads around the fact that they had each other back again. They did not need others imposing on them in the meantime. “Let’s give her and Raiden some space.”

“Exactly my thinking,” Hal sent him a smile over his shoulder, nodding, and Dave cracked a smile. Not the first time they thought the same thing, after all. “That’s why I’m already looking for something myself.”

Pulling a few different pages up, Hal shifted so the other man could look more freely over his shoulder, indicating towards a map which had certain areas marked with circles, and a few pictures of towns and villages. “I was thinking of a place in the countryside, maybe. Not too far out, but still…”

Still far away enough from the hustle and bustle of the bigger cities to have some peace once in a while. Off the radar, for once. Similar to how he once had decided that the solitude of Alaska would be right for him. David nodded slowly, murmuring a low agreement. Hand carding softly, mindlessly, through the mop of silky hair buried into his neck. “Sunny would like that.”

The girl had been copped up inside all her life, after all. Since she already liked the “outside” right in front of the Nomad so much, a bit of fresh air and pure nature would probably make her lose her mind in joy.

Instead of agreeing as David had expected, Hal seemed to stiffen at the comment, shoulders drawing up. The light of the screen illuminated the frown edging between his brows.

Not a reaction that seemed warranted. Yet Hal did not seem willing to elaborate by himself. With a huff, David pushed himself up far enough so he could rest his head more comfortably the armrest. “Hal.”

Not quite command, yet not a question, either.

Hal glanced over, sighed when he caught the frown sent his direction, and fiddled with his glasses. His voice was even quieter than before when he spoke again. “You think she would want to stay?”

That was the problem? David’s eyebrows arched. “Did you ask her?”

“No,” even while still whispering, Hal’s voice was the epitome of startled offense. “David, she’s seven.”

“She’s a smart kid. And she knows how to say No,” when Hal muttered something indecisive under his breath, David chuckled under his breath. “You can talk me into staying, but not ask Sunny if she wants to? Really, Hal.”

“Completely different situations, thank you,” the other’s hiss only made him chuckle harder, and Hal glared at him in return - before sighing deeply, shoulders sagging in defeat. “Alright, fine. I will ask her.”

“Good.”

“And it’s not because you told me to.”

“Uh-huh.”

“No need to be smug about it.”

“Sure, Hal.”

The half-hearted bickering stopped the moment they made eye contact. David couldn’t keep the smile off his face, and one look, and Hal was laughing, too, smothering it, barely, into the crook of his elbow.

Once they had gotten a grip over themselves again, they took a moment to simply watch the sleeping Sunny, making sure they hadn’t accidentally woken her.

Finally, David shifted with a quiet grunted, letting himself scoot lower on the couch, and closed his eyes. “Wake us up when you found a place.”

“Huh?” Surprise creeped into Hal’s voice, and he could vividly picture the other blink rapidly at him. “You don’t want a say in it?”

“Nah. You’re better at that kinda thing.”

“Such high praise,” a snort, and the click-clack of keys started up again. “Sleep well, Dave.”

“Hm-mh.”

Silence settled between them, comfortable and easy. Sunny’s quiet breaths, Hal’s typing and, from time to time, muttering to himself made for a strange lullaby, yet David couldn’t deny it was effectively lulling him to sleep.

If this was peace, David pondered lazily while he allowed himself to drift off, then it was pretty good.

Yeah.

This is good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ D ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“This is good… isn’t it?”

Big Boss to Snake

#metal gear solid #metal gear #solid snake #otacon #sunny emmerich #meryl silverburgh #mgs #my writing #fanfic #fanfiction #long post #super long post

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